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Rick_and_Morty_Transcript

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Morty:

Woah!

President Morty:

You can come if you want.

President Morty:

Don’t blame me if you don’t.

Rick:

Ugh. From where I sit, Morty, that’s the best deal on the table. I-I don’t have a real plan.

Rick:

Thanks, pal. I-I’m glad you ignored my advice.

President Morty:

It’s just as well. I lied. That second seat’s a toilet.

Morty:

Oh, super dick move. But weirdly kind of cool to admit it.

Rick:

Geez, you guys really are bred for forgiveness. Let’s go.

Rick:

Say goodbye to the Citadel, fellas.

Mr. Poopybutthole:

Woo-wee. Evil Morty. That was quite a scheme. Makes me wonder if there’s an evil me out there. But I guess, sometimes I look at my life, and I may not even need ‘im. Cuz, well, guess I made a pretty big mess of things myself. Ooo eee.

Mr. Poopybutthole:

I never got my job at the university back. Remember that? Rick made me do karate. It was kinda funny, but I guess things went downhill from there.

Mr. Poopybutthole:

Started isolating myself from Amy. Used to tell her everything I was feeling.

Mr. Poopybutthole:

But then I guess I stopped.

Mr. Poopybutthole:

Cuz I wanted her to love who she thought I was, not who I felt myself becoming.

Mr. Poopybutthole:

Ever think about how horrified the people we love would be if they found out who we truly are? So we just dig ourselves deeper, into our lies every day (he walks back over to the stove), ultimately only hurting the people who were brave enough to love us.

Mr. Poopybutthole:

Wish I didn’t do that.

Mr. Poopybutthole:

Wish I was brave enough to love them back. I don’t know, maybe you should try it.

Mr. Poopybutthole:

We don’t have as much time as we think. Ooo eee.