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AHHHHHHHHH PEANUT BUTTER FLESHLIGHT I NEED TO DESTROY THE EVIDENCE |
¿ʇsod sᴉɥʇ ǝʇoʌuʍоp ǝsɐǝld noʎ uɐɔ 'suɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀ ʎǝH |
⅄∀p Ǝʞ∀Ɔ ⅄W S┴I |
I watched my mom watch me die |
If Jesus Christ was real they wouldn't have called it a crucifixion... |
I am so close to 42069 karma, please help me reach it. |
Ladies guys just want a girl who gives them |
so my bfs homophobic dad is trying to break us up now :< |
POLL TO DECIDE WHO WANTS TO KEEP THE "CANT RELATE" RULE - POLL STARTS ON AUG 11 15:00 UTC AND ENDS AT AUG 12 15:00 UTC |
Hey you! Yes you! Click on this post! |
Watched my parents die in front of me |
Instagram bios be like : |
Every 10 likes this post gets Ill drink a shot of my piss |
Let’s leave! |
✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅ ✅⬛️⬛️⬛️✅✅⬛️⬛️⬛️✅ ✅⬛️⬛️⬛️✅✅⬛️⬛️⬛️✅ ✅⬛️⬛️⬛️✅✅⬛️⬛️⬛️✅ ✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅ ✅✅✅✅⬛️⬛️✅✅✅✅ ✅✅✅⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️✅✅✅ ✅✅⬛️⬛️✅✅⬛️⬛️✅✅ ✅⬛️⬛️✅✅✅✅⬛️⬛️✅ ✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅✅ |
Guys i got (male genitals) stuck in (object with hole) |
DON’T POST ON MONDAY! SPREAD THE WORD! THIS WAS STARTED BY u/anthios314 |
My life be like |
I just shoved a q tip up my ass |
I have the whole set |
If this gets more than 10 upvotes I will try to not fap till 2020 |
If u upvote I will blow a kiss at u |
PART TWO ABOUT ME CUDDLING A GIRL FOR THE FIRST TIME |
��POST NOTHING ON MONDAY DUE TO THE NEW SHITTY RULES�� |
y’all I’m 7k karma away from 69,000 so imma post a lot now to get 96k wish me luck |
Don't�� pretend�� to ��be ��entitled�� to�� financial�� compensation�� if ��you ��or�� a�� loved ��one ��hasn't�� even ��been ��diagnosed�� with ��mesothelioma |
My nuts don’t itch |
Moderators! It's your big day! (Woo) I know we've had our differences, but today, I just wanna tell you... |
teenagers rise up |
My teacher asked to see me after class |
My teacher is about to take my phone, give her some fun notifications to read! |
Roses are red, mods are gay |
What if u wanted orange arrows for pastry day but auto mod said ur post has been removed for vote manipulation |
Imagine being rich and spending money on reddit awards to gild shitposts like |
If �� you �� get �� a �� message �� with �� a �� link �� saying �� click �� here �� for �� free �� videos �� of �� frogs �� licking �� bees �� you'll �� get �� a �� virus �� that �� puts �� frog �� emojis �� in �� all �� your �� spaces. |
A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him |
Yea sex is cool and all, |
I watched my friend sacrifice his life for me... [Serious] |
420 blaze it? More like 420 praise it, i get high off Jesus |
I brought pizza for the class for my birthday haha take a slice |
⛔POST NOTHING ON MONDAY AS A PROTEST TO THE SHITPOST RULE ⛔ |
If I waited another 9 days I could celebrate my internet birthday and my irl birthday on the same day |
today my crush winked at me with 2 EYES |
SAY HI TO MY FUCKING TURKEY |
A friend is running out of reasons to live I really need help |
When I have a kid, English isn't going to be its first language. |
Hey girl are you a urinal? |
I watched my son die |
Today is the only day you can upvote this. |
Yes yes yes!!! Free karma? |
You wouldn't take down a shitpost about our lord and saviour, right? |
can you gyusb give me 5 karma |
for every u p v o t e I will contribute to society by inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide |
if a girl tells u you’re cute she probably thinks ur cute but if a guy tells u you’re cute I promise that man is thinking about baptizing u in cum |
Three of my posts are in rising |
When it's a text only weekend and you can't shitpost |
guys if this gets 2 upvotes I will |
Top 10 things deaf people are tired of hearing |
I JUST LOST MY VIRGINITY |
my girlfriend is just like my will to live |
If this gets 1000 upboots my GF said we try anal |
Mods when its text only weekend and you post an ascii meme |
Got a girlfriend from a longtime crush; saw her Reddit account; now it’s competition time |
When girls kiss a guy on the neck people say it’s cute, but when I kiss someone on the neck they say “get off them!” and “why are they turning so pale?” and “Karen get the holy water, he’s drinking their blood!” |
i kissed a girl |
I am proud to say I have a 3 year old account with less than 500 hundred karma! thanks for coming to my TED talk:) |
Despite being 13 percent of the population |
u/satanslimpdick is a terrible mod |
Hey, I got a new PC! Oh wait, not all teenagers can afford PCs. Guess I'm banned. |
Just got done playing animal crossing and I now lust for blood. |
What r/teenagers is like right now |
My dog and my suicide |
If girls can get out of class for periods |
For every 5 upvotes I will literally drink 250 ml water |
No matter the sex, race, religion, gender, or any other part of identity, we can agree that |
Boner in a bottle |
I’m officially taken �� |
If this gets 69 upvotes... |
IF THE NO SHITPOST RULE ISNT GONE IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS WE UNSUB! |
Fortnite bad minecraft good |
Today is my reddit birthday |
Pewdiepies not even a good youtuber |
Instagram is the just Internet Explorer for memes |
My mum and step dad are talking about sending to live with my dad |
I will do 840 pushups for every 420 upvotes |
My girlfriend just committed suicide |
Females be like |
NINJAS NO LONGER ON TWITCH |
You ever just type out something that is bothering you to r/Teenagers and slowly come to the conclusion that your opinion doesn't matter and delete the entire post because the chances of it getting removed by the mods are at a whopping 96%, and also nobody cares about your post lol. |
I’m sick of people getting triggered when I call them “he” or “she” |
I watched my sister die right infront of me. |
This sub sucks |
Can I have your attention please |
Can we get 69 upvoted and comments? |
I hit 2 years on reddit today!!!! |
My entire family is fucking dead |
My 14 yr old friend commuted suicide 2 weeks ago... |
"I don't give a shit about him" |
I watched my uncle die in front of me |
I watched my daughter die In front of me |