[Class room] (A city is flying through space, stuck on the back of a giant shell with a Union Flag painted on it. The skyscrapers have illuminated names down their sides - Yorkshire, Devon, Kent, Essex. The second R in Surrey is broken. The school bell is ringing for end of classes. The children file out except for one red-headed boy who is still sitting at his desk. The Auto-teacher is praising them as they pass.) COMPUTER: Well done, Mabel. Well done, Alfie. Good girl, Tabitha. Very well done, Ranjit. Good girl, Chloe. Well done, Ben. Well done, Mandy. (It is the little boy's turn.) COMPUTER: Bad boy, Timmy. (The head on the Auto-teacher turns around from a smiling face to a frowning one.) COMPUTER: Zero. [By the lift] MANDY: You got a zero, didn't you? TIMMY: Yeah? So? MANDY: You'll have to walk home then. TIMMY: Walk to London? That's twenty decks! MANDY: You can't ride a Vator with a zero. You know what happens. You'll get sent below. (A man in a black cloak, with a clock key on a string around his neck, stops Timmy getting in the lift. He is a Winder, apparently.) MANDY: I'll wait for you. (The lift doors close. They look like tube train doors, and the logo above them is London Underground. Timmy gets into the next lift.) [Lift] (There is an Automaton here too, like the Auto-teacher in the classroom. The cast list says that these are called Smilers.) SMILER: Welcome to Vator Verse, sponsored by McLintock's Candy Burgers. TIMMY: London, please. (A little girl appears on a small screen at the back of the lift.) GIRL [on screen]: A horse and a man, above, below. One has a plan, but both must go. Mile after mile, above, beneath. One has a smile, and one has teeth. (The Smiler head turns from smile to frown.) GIRL [on screen]: Though the man above might say hello, expect no love from the beast below. (The lift starts to drop very fast. Timmy goes to the intercom.) TIMMY: Help! Help me! (The lift stops at floor 0 and the floor opens up over a long drop. The Smiler face turns from frown to angry scowl. Timmy falls through the bottom of the lift with a scream.) [Tardis] (Amy is floating in space, with the Doctor holding on to her ankle from the open door of the Tardis.) AMY [OC]: My name is Amy Pond. When I was seven, I had an imaginary friend. Last night was the night before my wedding. DOCTOR: Come on, Pond. AMY [OC]: And my imaginary friend came back. (The Doctor pulls Amy back inside the Tardis.) DOCTOR: Now do you believe me? AMY: Okay, your box is a spaceship. It's really, really a spaceship. We are in space! What are we breathing? DOCTOR: I've extended the air shell. We're fine. (They are above the city in space.) DOCTOR: Now that's interesting. Twenty ninth century. Solar flares roast the earth, and the entire human race packs its bags and moves out till the weather improves. Whole nations. (The Doctor runs back to the console and the doors close.) AMY [OC]: Doctor? DOCTOR: Migrating to the stars. AMY [OC]: Doctor? DOCTOR: Isn't that amazing? AMY [OC]: Doctor! (He has shut her outside.) DOCTOR: Well, come on. I've found us a spaceship. This is the United Kingdom of Britain and Northern Ireland. All of it, bolted together and floating in the sky. Starship UK. It's Britain, but metal. That's not just a ship, that's an idea. That's a whole country, living and laughing and shopping. Searching the stars for a new home. AMY: Can we go out and see? DOCTOR: Course we can. But first, there's a thing. AMY: A thing? DOCTOR: An important thing. In fact, Thing One. We are observers only. That's the one rule I've always stuck to in all my travels. I never get involved in the affairs of other peoples or planets. (Sorry, nearly spat my tea over my keyboard. An image of Mandy waiting by the lifts is on the scanner.) DOCTOR: Ooo, that's interesting. AMY: So we're like a wildlife documentary, yeah? Because if they see a wounded little cub or something, they can't just save it, they've got to keep filming and let it die. It's got to be hard. I don't think I could do that. Don't you find that hard, being all, like, detached and cold? (Amy sees the Doctor on the scanner, speaking to the weeping Mandy.) AMY: Doctor? (He gestures for her to join him.) [London Market] TANNOY: Welcome to London Market. You are being monitored. AMY: I'm in the future. Like hundreds of years in the future. I've been dead for centuries. DOCTOR: Oh, lovely. You're a cheery one. Never mind dead, look at this place. Isn't it wrong? AMY: What's wrong? DOCTOR: Come on, use your eyes. Notice everything. What's wrong with this picture? AMY: Is it the bicycles? Bit unusual on a spaceship, bicycles. DOCTOR: Says the girl in the nightie. AMY: Oh my God, I'm in my nightie. DOCTOR: Now, come on, look around you. Actually look. TANNOY: London Market is a crime-free zone. DOCTOR: Life on a giant starship. Back to basics. Bicycles, washing lines, wind-up street lamps. But look closer. Secrets and shadows, lives led in fear. Society bent out of shape, on the brink of collapse. A police state. Excuse me. (He takes a pint glass of water from a table.) MAN: What are you doing? (And puts it on the floor. He looks at it for a moment then returns it to the table.) DOCTOR: Sorry. Checking all the water in this area. There's an escaped fish. Where was I? AMY: Why did you just do that with the water? DOCTOR: Don't know. I think a lot. It's hard to keep track. Now, police state. Do you see it yet? AMY: Where? DOCTOR: There. (The weeping Mandy, all alone. The Doctor goes to her and a Winder watches them.) [Tower] (A field telephone rings. A thin faced man answers whilst watching the Doctor on a screen.) HAWTHORNE: Are you sure? [London Market] (The Winder is using a red Telephone kiosk to report in.) PETER: Saw it myself. [Tower] PETER [OC]: Are you going to tell her? HAWTHORNE: We're under orders to tell her. [London Market] HAWTHORNE [OC]: Well done. Keep tabs on him. [State apartments] (A woman in a long red cloak is sitting on the floor with her back towards us, in front of an array of glasses of water and a lit chandelier. Her mobile phone rings.) HAWTHORNE [OC]: Sorry to interrupt. There's been a sighting. London block, Oxford Street. A man. (We focus on a white mask by her feet.) LIZ: Did he do the thing? HAWTHORNE [OC]: Apparently. LIZ: I'll have a look on the monitors. [London Market] AMY: One little girl crying. So? DOCTOR: Crying silently. I mean, children cry because they want attention, because they're hurt or afraid. But when they cry silently, it's because they just can't stop. Any parent knows that. AMY: Are you a parent? DOCTOR: Hundreds of parents walking past who spot her and not one of them's asking her what's wrong, which means they already know, and it's something they don't talk about. Secrets. They're not helping her, so it's something they're afraid of. Shadows, whatever they're afraid of, it's nowhere to be seen, which means it's everywhere. Police state. (A Smiler watches Mandy get into a lift.) AMY: Where'd she go? DOCTOR: Deck two oh seven. Apple Sesame block, dwelling 54A. You're looking for Mandy Tanner. Oh, er, this fell out of her pocket when I accidentally bumped into her. Took me four goes. Ask her about those things. The smiling fellows in the booths. They're everywhere. (The Doctor gives Amy a colourful wallet.) AMY: But they're just things. DOCTOR: They're clean. Everything else here is all battered and filthy. Look at this place. But no one's laid a finger on those booths. Not a footprint within two feet of them. Look. Ask Mandy, why are people scared of the things in the booths? AMY: No, hang on. What do I do? I don't know what I'm doing here and I'm not even dressed. DOCTOR: It's this or Leadworth. What do you think? Let's see. What will Amy Pond choose? Ha ha, gotcha. Meet me back here in half an hour. AMY: What are you going to do? DOCTOR: What I always do. Stay out of trouble. Badly. AMY: So is this how it works, Doctor? You never interfere in the affairs of other peoples or planets, unless there's children crying? DOCTOR: Yes. [Deck 207] (Amy leaves footprints in the dirt of Dean Street.) MANDY: You're following me. Saw you watching me at the marketplace. AMY: You dropped this. MANDY: Yeah, when your friend kept bumping into me. AMY: What's that? MANDY: There's a hole. We have to go back. AMY: A what? A hole? (Right outside Magpie Electricals is a striped workman's hut with yellow flashing lights and a keep out sign.) MANDY: Are you stupid? There's a hole in the road. We can't go that way. There's a travel pipe down by the airlocks, if you've got stamps. What are you doing? AMY: Oh, don't mind me. Never could resist a keep out sign. What's through there? What's so scary about a hole? Something under the road? (The workman's hut is padlocked.) MANDY: Nobody knows. We're not supposed to talk about it. AMY: About what? MANDY: Below. AMY: And because you're not supposed to, you don't? Watch and learn. (Amy picks the lock with a hairpin, watched by a Smiler.) MANDY: You sound Scottish. AMY: I am Scottish. What's wrong with that? Scotland's got to be here somewhere. MANDY: No. They wanted their own ship. AMY: Hmm. Good for them. Nothing changes. MANDY: So, how did you get here? (The Smiler changes to a Frowner.) AMY: Oh, just passing through, you know, with a guy. MANDY: Your boyfriend? AMY: Oh. MANDY: What? AMY: Nothing. It's just, I'm getting married. Funny how things slip your mind. MANDY: Married? AMY: Yeah, shut up, married. Really, actually married. Almost definitely. MANDY: When? AMY: Well, it's kind of weird. A long time ago tomorrow morning. I wonder what I did? Hey, hey. Result! Coming? MANDY: No! (The Frowner turns to a Scowler.) AMY: Suit yourself. MANDY: Stop! You mustn't do that! (Amy goes inside the workman's hut, which is pulsing with red light. She finds a wind-up torch.) AMY: Oh, my God. That's weird. That's. (A tentacle lashes at her. She backs out to find herself surrounded by Winders. One points his ring at her. It emits a gas and she passes out.) [Engine room] (The Doctor climbs down a ladder and starts feeling the walls.) "DOCTOR; Can't be." (He scans it with his screwdriver. There is a glass of water on the floor. The woman is wearing her mask now.) LIZ: The impossible truth in a glass of water. Not many people see it. But you do, don't you, Doctor? DOCTOR: You know me? LIZ: Keep your voice down. They're everywhere. Tell me what you see in the glass. DOCTOR: Who says I see anything? "LIZ; Don't waste time. At the marketplace, you placed a glass of water on the floor, looked at it, then came straight here to the engine room. Why?" DOCTOR: No engine vibration on deck. Ship this size, engine this big, you'd feel it. The water would move. So, I thought I'd take a look. It doesn't make sense. These power couplings, they're not connected. Look. Look, they're dummies, see? And behind this wall, nothing. It's hollow. If I didn't know better, I'd say there was BOTH: No engine at all. DOCTOR: But it's working. This ship is travelling though space. I saw it. LIZ: The impossible truth, Doctor. We're travelling among the stars in a spaceship that could never fly. DOCTOR: How? LIZ: I don't know. There's a darkness at the heart of this nation. It threatens every one of us. Help us, Doctor. You're our only hope. Your friend is safe. This will take you to her. Now go, quickly! (Princess Leia hands over a tracking device and turns to leave.) DOCTOR: Who are you? How do I find you again? LIZ: I am Liz Ten, and I will find you. [Voting cubicle] (Amy wakes up in a chair in front of four screens and two large buttons labelled Forget and Protest, watched a Smiler.) COMPUTER: Welcome to voting cubicle three thirty C. Please leave this installation as you would wish to find it. The United Kingdom recognises the right to know of all its citizens. A presentation concerning the history of Starship UK will begin shortly. Your identity is being verified on our electoral roll. Name, Amelia Jessica Pond. Age, thirteen hundred and six. (Pity the four screens all say 1308...) AMY: Shut up. COMPUTER: Marital status, unknown. MORGAN [on screen]: You are here because you want to know the truth about this starship, and I am talking to you because you're entitled to know. When this presentation has finished, you will have a choice. You may either protest. or forget. If you choose to protest, understand this. If just one percent of the population of this ship do likewise, the programme will be discontinued with consequences for you all. If you choose to accept the situation, and we hope that you will, then press the Forget button. All the information I'm about to give you will be erased from your memory. You will continue to enjoy the safety and amenities of Starship UK, unburdened by the knowledge of what has been done to save you. Here then, is the truth about Starship UK, and the price that has been paid for the safety of the British people. May God have mercy on our souls. (The presentation is fast, and leaves Amy reeling. She presses Forget. The screen displays Message Waiting. Play.) AMY [on screen]: This isn't a trick. This is for real. You've got to find the Doctor and get him back to the Tardis. Don't let him investigate. Stop him. Do whatever you have to, just please, please get the Doctor off this ship! (The door opens. Mandy is waiting outside, then the Doctor bounces in.) AMY [on screen]: Listen to me. This isn't a trick. This is for real. DOCTOR: Amy? AMY [on screen]: You've got to find the Doctor. (Amy turns off the message.) DOCTOR: What have you done? (The Doctor scans a device in the ceiling.) DOCTOR: Yeah, your basic memory wipe job. Must have erased about twenty minutes. AMY: But why would I choose to forget? MANDY: Because everyone does. Everyone chooses the Forget button. DOCTOR: Did you? "MANDY; I'm not eligible to vote yet. I'm twelve. Any time after you're sixteen, you're allowed to the see the film and make your choice. And then once every five years." DOCTOR: And once every five years, everyone chooses to forget what they've learned. Democracy in action. MANDY: How do you not know about this? Are you Scottish too? DOCTOR: Oh, I'm way worse than Scottish. I can't even see the movie. Won't play for me. AMY: It played for me. DOCTOR: The difference being the computer doesn't accept me as human. AMY: Why not? You look human. DOCTOR: No, you look Time Lord. We came first. AMY: So there are other Time Lords, yeah? DOCTOR: No. There were, but there aren't. Just me now. Long story. There was a bad day. Bad stuff happened. And you know what? I'd love to forget it all, every last bit of it, but I don't. Not ever. Because this is what I do, every time, every day, every second. This. Hold tight. We're bringing down the government. (The Doctor hits the Protest button. The door slams shut, trapping him and Amy inside. The Smiler becomes a Scowler and the floor opens up to reveal the long drop.) DOCTOR: Say wheee! AMY: Argh! (Outside, the cubicle sign changes from Occupied to Empty.) [Outside Voting Cubicle 330C] (Mandy turns to see the masked woman.) LIZ: It's all right, love. (She removes her mask.) LIZ: It's only me. [Waste disposal] (The Doctor drops down a chute into what appears to be organic waste. Star Wars reference number two. Amy follows a few moments later with a scream.) DOCTOR: Argh! High speed air cannon. Lousy way to travel. AMY: Where are we? DOCTOR: Six hundred feet down, twenty miles laterally, puts us at the heart of the ship. I'd say Lancashire. What's this then, a cave? Can't be a cave. Looks like a cave. AMY: It's a rubbish dump, and it's minging! DOCTOR: Yes, but only food refuse. Organic, coming through feeder tubes from all over the ship. AMY: The floor's all squidgy, like a water bed. DOCTOR: But feeding what, though? AMY: It's sort of rubbery, feel it. Wet and slimy. (A distance animal noise.) DOCTOR: Er, it's not a floor, it's a. So. AMY: It's a what? DOCTOR: The next word is kind of a scary word. You probably want to take a moment, get yourself in a calm place. Go omm. AMY: Omm. DOCTOR: It's a tongue. AMY: A tongue? DOCTOR: A tongue. A great big tongue. AMY: This is a mouth. This whole place is a mouth? We're in a mouth? DOCTOR: Yes, yes, yes. But on the plus side, roomy. AMY: How do we get out? DOCTOR: How big is this beastie? It's gorgeous. Blimey, if this is just the mouth, I'd love to see the stomach. Though not right now. AMY: Doctor, how do we get out? DOCTOR: Okay, it's being fed through surgically implanted feeder tubes, so the normal entrance is closed for business. (A wall of lovely big teeth.) AMY: We could try, though. DOCTOR: No, stop, don't move. (The 'floor' vibrates.) DOCTOR: Too late. It's started. AMY: What has? DOCTOR: Swallow reflex. AMY: What are you doing? DOCTOR: I'm vibrating the chemo-receptors. AMY: Chemo-what? DOCTOR: The eject button. AMY: How does a mouth have an eject button? DOCTOR: Think about it! (A wave of vomit approaches.) DOCTOR: Right, then. This isn't going to be big on dignity. Geronimo! [Overflow pipe] DOCTOR: There's nothing broken, there's no sign of concussion and yes, you are covered in sick. AMY: Where are we? DOCTOR: Overspill pipe, at a guess. AMY: Oh, God, it stinks. DOCTOR: Oh, that's not the pipe. AMY: Oh. Phew. Can we get out? DOCTOR: One door, one door switch, one condition. We forget everything we saw. Look familiar? (It is a Forget button.) DOCTOR: That's the carrot. Ooo, here's the stick. (Two Smiler booths light up.) DOCTOR: There's a creature living in the heart of this ship. What's it doing there? (The Smilers become Frowners.) DOCTOR: No, that's not going to work on me, so come on. Big old beast below decks, and everyone who protests gets shoved down its throat. That how it works? (Frowners become Scowlers.) "DOCTOR; Oh, stop it. I'm not leaving and I'm not forgetting, and what are you fellows going to do about it? Stick out your tongues, huh?" (The booths open and the Smilers step out.) AMY: Doctor? (Liz steps up between the Doctor and Amy, and shoots the Smilers.) DOCTOR: Look who it is. You look a lot better without your mask. LIZ: You must be Amy. Liz. Liz Ten. AMY: Hi. LIZ: Yuck. Lovely hair, Amy. Shame about the sick. You know Mandy, yeah? She's very brave. DOCTOR: How did you find us? LIZ: Stuck my gizmo on you. Been listening in. Nice moves on the hurl escape. So, what's the big fella doing here? DOCTOR: You're over sixteen, you've voted. Whatever this is, you've chosen to forget about it. LIZ: No. Never forgot, never voted, not technically a British subject. DOCTOR: Then who and what are you, and how do you know me? LIZ: You're a bit hard to miss, love. Mysterious stranger, M O consistent with higher alien intelligence, hair of an idiot. I've been brought up on the stories. My whole family was. DOCTOR: Your family? LIZ: They're repairing. Doesn't take them long. Let's move. [Sub basement 4] LIZ: The Doctor. Old drinking buddy of Henry Twelve. Tea and scones with Liz Two. Vicky was a bit on the fence about you, weren't she? Knighted and exiled you on the same day. And so much for the Virgin Queen, you bad, bad boy. DOCTOR: Liz Ten. LIZ: Liz Ten, yeah. Elizabeth the Tenth. And down! (She turns, they duck, and she shoots the repaired Smilers again.) LIZ: I'm the bloody Queen, mate. Basically, I rule. [Corridor] LIZ: There's a high-speed Vator through there. Oh, yeah. There's these things. (Tentacles beating at the grating.) LIZ: Any ideas? AMY: Doctor, I saw one of these up top. There was a hole in the road, like it had burst through like a root. DOCTOR: Exactly like a root. It's all one creature, the same one we were inside, reaching out. It must be growing through the mechanisms of the entire ship. LIZ: What, like an infestation? Someone's helping it. Feeding it. Feeding my subjects to it. Come on. Got to keep moving. (Liz and Mandy leave.) AMY: Doctor? DOCTOR: Oh, Amy. We should never have come here. AMY [OC]: Don't let him investigate. Stop him. Do whatever you have to, just please, please get the Doctor off this ship. [Security office] HAWTHORNE: Winder division one. Ten has penetrated to the lower levels. Initiate the protocol. God save the Queen. [State apartments] DOCTOR: Why all the glasses? LIZ: To remind me every single day that my government is up to something, and it's my duty to find out what. DOCTOR: A queen going undercover to investigate her own kingdom? LIZ: Secrets are being kept from me. I don't have a choice. Ten years I've been at this. My entire reign. And you've achieved more in one afternoon. DOCTOR: How old were you when you came to the throne? LIZ: Forty. Why? AMY: What, you're fifty now? No way. LIZ: Yeah, they slowed my body clock. Keeps me looking like the stamps. DOCTOR: And you always wear this in public? LIZ: Undercover's not easy when you're me. The autographs, the bunting. DOCTOR: Air-balanced porcelain. Stays on by itself, because it's perfectly sculpted to your face. LIZ: Yeah? So what? DOCTOR: Oh, Liz. So everything. (A division of Winders enters.) LIZ: What are you doing? How dare you come in here? PETER: Ma'am, you have expressed interest in the interior workings of Starship UK. You will come with us now. LIZ: Why would I do that? (Peter's head turns to become a Scowler.) AMY: How can they be Smilers? DOCTOR: Half Smiler, half human. LIZ: Whatever you creatures are, I am still your queen. On whose authority is this done? PETER: The highest authority, Ma'am. LIZ: I am the highest authority. PETER: Yes, ma'am. You must go now, Ma'am. LIZ: Where? PETER: The Tower, Ma'am. [Tower] (Amy looks through a grating, where tentacles are flailing.) AMY: Doctor, where are we? DOCTOR: The lowest point of Starship UK. The dungeon. HAWTHORNE: Ma'am. LIZ: Hawthorne. So this is where you hid yourself away. I think you've got some explaining to do. DOCTOR: There's children down here. What's all that about? HAWTHORNE: Protesters and citizens of limited value are fed to the beast. For some reason, it won't eat the children. You're the first adults it's spared. You're very lucky. DOCTOR: Yeah, look at us. Torture chamber of the Tower of London. Lucky, lucky, lucky. Except it's not a torture chamber, is it? Well, except it is. Except it isn't. Depends on your angle. (The top of a pulsating brain is visible in the middle of the room, with giant electrodes pointing down at it.) LIZ: What's that? DOCTOR: Well, like I say, it depends on the angle. It's either the exposed pain centre of big fella's brain, being tortured relentlessly. LIZ: Or? DOCTOR: Or it's the gas pedal, the accelerator. Starship UK's go faster button. LIZ: I don't understand. DOCTOR: Don't you? Try to. Go on. The spaceship that could never fly. No vibration on deck. This creature, this poor, trapped, terrified creature. It's not infesting you, it's not invading, it's what you have instead of an engine. And this place down here is where you hurt it, where you torture it, day after day, just to keep it moving. Tell you what. Normally, it's above the range of human hearing. This is the sound none of you wanted to hear. (The Doctor sonics a tentacle. They hear a screaming sound.) LIZ: Stop it. Who did this? HAWTHORNE: We act on instructions from the highest authority. LIZ: I am the highest authority. The creature will be released, now. I said now! Is anyone listening to me? DOCTOR: Liz. Your mask. LIZ: What about my mask? DOCTOR: Look at it. It's old. At least two hundred years old, I'd say. LIZ: Yeah? It's an antique. So? DOCTOR: Yeah, an antique made by craftsmen over two hundred years ago and perfectly sculpted to your face. They slowed your body clock, all right, but you're not fifty. Nearer three hundred. And it's been a long old reign. LIZ: Nah, it's ten years. I've been on this throne ten years. DOCTOR: Ten years. And the same ten years, over and over again, always leading you here. (Two buttons - Forget and Abdicate.) LIZ: What have you done? HAWTHORNE: Only what you have ordered. We work for you, Ma'am. The Winders, the Smilers, all of us. LIZ [on screen]: If you are watching this. If I am watching this, then I have found my way to the Tower Of London. The creature you are looking at is called a Star Whale. Once, there were millions of them. They lived in the depths of space and, according to legend, guided the early space travellers through the asteroid belts. This one, as far as we are aware, is the last of its kind. And what we have done to it breaks my heart. The Earth was burning. Our sun had turned on us and every other nation had fled to the skies. Our children screamed as the skies grew hotter. And then it came, like a miracle. The last of the Star Whales. We trapped it, we built our ship around it, and we rode on its back to safety. If you wish our voyage to continue, then you must press the Forget button. Be again the heart of this nation, untainted. If not, press the other button. Your reign will end, the Star Whale will be released, and our ship will disintegrate. I hope I keep the strength to make the right decision. AMY: I voted for this. Why would I do that? DOCTOR: Because you knew if we stayed here, I'd be faced with an impossible choice. Humanity or the alien. You took it upon yourself to save me from that. And that was wrong. You don't ever decide what I need to know. AMY: I don't even remember doing it. DOCTOR: You did it. That's what counts. AMY: I'm, I'm sorry. DOCTOR: Oh, I don't care. When I'm done here, you're going home. AMY: Why? Because I made a mistake? One mistake? I don't even remember doing it. Doctor! DOCTOR: Yeah, I know. You're only human. LIZ: What are you doing? DOCTOR: The worst thing I'll ever do. I'm going to pass a massive electrical charge through the Star Whale's brain. Should knock out all its higher functions, leave it a vegetable. The ship will still fly, but the whale won't feel it. AMY: That'll be like killing it. DOCTOR: Look, three options. One, I let the Star Whale continue in unendurable agony for hundreds more years. Two, I kill everyone on this ship. Three, I murder a beautiful, innocent creature as painlessly as I can. And then I find a new name, because I won't be the Doctor any more. LIZ: There must be something we can do, some other way. DOCTOR: Nobody talk to me. Nobody human has anything to say to me today! (Amy and Mandy sit and watch while the Doctor adjusts the machinery. Children enter.) MANDY: Timmy! You made it, you're okay. It's me, Mandy. (A tentacle flails behind Mandy, then gently taps her on the shoulder. Amy watches as she strokes it.) DOCTOR [OC]: Come on, use your eyes. Notice everything. Notice everything. LIZ [on screen]: Our children screamed. It came, like a miracle. HAWTHORNE [memory]: It won't eat the children. LIZ [on screen]: The children screamed, then it came. It's the last of its kind. DOCTOR [OC]: Just me now. LIZ [OC]: The last of its kind. AMY [OC]: Is this how it works, Doctor? You never interfere with other peoples or planets. LIZ [OC]: Children screamed. AMY [OC]: Unless it's children crying. LIZ [on screen]: The last of its kind. DOCTOR [memory]: Just me now. AMY [OC]: Unless there's children crying. DOCTOR [memory]: Yes. HAWTHORNE [OC]: It won't eat the children. LIZ [OC]: Then it came, like a miracle. The last of the Star Whales. AMY: Doctor, stop. Whatever you're doing, stop it now! Sorry, Your Majesty. Going to need a hand. (Amy drags Liz to the voting buttons.) DOCTOR: Amy, no! No! (And pushes Liz's hand down on the Abdicate button.) (The Whale roars. Starship UK shakes briefly, causing panic.) DOCTOR: Amy, what have you done? AMY: Nothing at all. Am I right? HAWTHORNE: We've increased speed. AMY: Yeah, well, you've stopped torturing the pilot. Got to help. LIZ: It's still here. I don't understand. AMY: The Star Whale didn't come like a miracle all those years ago. It volunteered. You didn't have to trap it or torture it. That was all just you. It came because it couldn't stand to watch your children cry. What if you were really old, and really kind and alone? Your whole race dead. No future. What couldn't you do then? If you were that old, and that kind, and the very last of your kind, you couldn't just stand there and watch children cry. [Observation deck] AMY: From Her Majesty. She says there will be no more secrets on Starship UK. (Amy holds out Liz's mask.) DOCTOR: Amy, you could have killed everyone on this ship. AMY: You could have killed a Star Whale. DOCTOR: And you saved it. I know, I know. AMY: Amazing though, don't you think? The Star Whale. All that pain and misery and loneliness, and it just made it kind. DOCTOR: But you couldn't have known how it would react. AMY: You couldn't. But I've seen it before. Very old and very kind, and the very, very last. Sound a bit familiar? (They hug.) AMY: Hey. DOCTOR: What? AMY: Gotcha. DOCTOR: Huh. Gotcha. [London market] AMY: Shouldn't we say goodbye? Won't they wonder where we went? DOCTOR: For the rest of their lives. Oh, the songs they'll write. Never mind them. Big day tomorrow. AMY: Sorry, what? DOCTOR: Well, it's always a big day tomorrow. We've got a time machine. I skip the little ones. AMY: You know what I said about getting back for tomorrow morning? Have you ever run away from something because you were scared, or not ready, or just, just because you could? DOCTOR: Once, a long time ago. AMY: What happened? DOCTOR: Hello. AMY: Right. Doctor, there's something I haven't told you. No, hang on. Is that a phone ringing? [Tardis] AMY: People phone you? DOCTOR: Well, it's a phone box. Would you mind? (Amy answers the trim phone on the console.) AMY: Hello? Sorry, who? No, seriously, who? Says he's the Prime Minister. First the Queen, now the Prime Minister. Get about, don't you? DOCTOR: Which Prime Minister? AMY: Er, which Prime Minister? The British one. DOCTOR: Which British one? AMY: Which British one? Winston Churchill for you. DOCTOR: Oh! Hello, dear. What's up? [War rooms] CHURCHILL: Tricky situation, Doctor. Potentially very dangerous. I think I'm going to need you. (There is a shadow of a Dalek on the wall.) DOCTOR [OC]: Don't worry about a thing, Prime Minister. [Tardis] DOCTOR: We're on our way. (The Tardis dematerialises.) LIZ [OC]: In bed above, we're deep asleep, while greater love lies further deep. This dream must end, this world must know, we all depend on the beast below. [Map room] (In the War Rooms beneath Whitehall, an air raid siren is wailing. The WRACs and RAF are keeping track of fighter's positions on a tabletop grid.) TODD: Can't we shut that ruddy thing up? LILIAN: If wishes were kisses. TODD: Flight two advancing from Biggin Hill. LILIAN: Hostile thirty six, confirm please. CHILDERS: Able Victor Charlie down. BLANCHE: Twenty six and forty one detailed to intercept. LILIAN: Forty one? That, that's Reg's squadron. (Prime Minister Winston Spencer Churchill enters, puffing on his trademark cigar.) BLANCHE: Sir. CHURCHILL: How many? CHILDERS: Looks like a dozen Heinkel at least, sir, with Messerschmitts flanking. CHURCHILL: Out of range? LILIAN: Normally, sir, yes. CHURCHILL: Well then, time to roll out the secret weapon. (Lilian pushes a model Dalek onto the grid.) [Filing room] (The Tardis materialises in a filing room. A buzzer sounds in Churchill's office, and he smiles. The Doctor opens the Tardis doors to stare down the barrels of three Lee Enfield rifles, made in Britain, which move aside to reveal the PM.) DOCTOR: Amy? Winston Churchill. CHURCHILL: Doctor. Is it you? DOCTOR: Oh, Winston, my old friend. (Churchill holds out his hand and beckons.) DOCTOR: Ah, every time. AMY: What's he after? DOCTOR: Tardis key, of course. CHURCHILL: Think of what I could achieve with your remarkable machine, Doctor. The lives that could be saved. DOCTOR: Ah, doesn't work like that. CHURCHILL: Must I take it by force? DOCTOR: I'd like to see you try. CHURCHILL: At ease. DOCTOR: You rang? [Corridor] CHURCHILL: So you've changed your face again. DOCTOR: Yeah, well, had a bit of work done. AMY: Got it, got it, got it. Cabinet War Rooms, right? DOCTOR: Yep. Top secret heart of the War Office, right under London. CHURCHILL: You're late, by the way. LILIAN: Requisitions, sir. CHURCHILL: Excellent. DOCTOR: Late? CHURCHILL: I rang you a month ago. DOCTOR: Really? Sorry, sorry. It's a Type Forty Tardis, it's. I'm just running her in. CHURCHILL: Something the matter, Breen? You look a little down in the dumps. LILIAN: No, sir. Fine, sir. CHURCHILL: Action this day, Breen. Action this day. LILIAN: Yes, sir. TODD: Excuse me, sir. Got another formation coming in, Prime Minister. Stukas, by the look of them. CHURCHILL: We shall go up top then, Group Captain. We'll give them what for. Coming, Doctor? DOCTOR: Why? CHURCHILL: I have something to show you. [Lift] CHURCHILL: We stand at a crossroads, Doctor, quite alone, with our backs to the wall. Invasion is expected daily. So I will grasp with both hands anything that will give us an advantage over the Nazi menace. DOCTOR: Such as? CHURCHILL: Follow me. [Roof] (Sandbags and sentries, and a white-coated scientist searching the skies with powerful binoculars.) AMY: Wow. CHURCHILL: Doctor, this is Professor Edwin Bracewell. Head of our Ironsides Project. (The Doctor gives him a V for Victory salute.) BRACEWELL: How do you do? MAN [OC]: Two flights JU thirty eights approaching from the east. (A bomb lands nearby. Amy gazes at all the barrage balloons moored over the city.) AMY: Oh, Doctor. Doctor, it's DOCTOR: History. CHURCHILL: Ready, Bracewell? BRACEWELL: Aye aye, sir. On my order, fire! (Energy bolts zoom out from a sandbagged emplacement towards the approaching Nazi planes. Everyone a dead hit.) AMY: What was that? DOCTOR: That wasn't human. That was never human technology. That sounded like. Show me. Show me. Show me what that was! BRACEWELL: Advance. CHURCHILL: Our new secret weapon. Ha! (A Dalek rolls out from the emplacement. It's designation logo is a Union Flag and it is painted khaki, with an army utility belt around it.) CHURCHILL: What do you think? Quite something, eh? DOCTOR: What are you doing here? DALEK: I am your soldier. DOCTOR: What? DALEK: I am your soldier. DOCTOR: Stop this. Stop now. Now, you know who I am. You always know. DALEK: Your identity is unknown. BRACEWELL: Perhaps I can clarify things here. This is one of my Ironsides. DOCTOR: Your what? BRACEWELL: You will help the Allied cause in any way that you can. DALEK: Yes. BRACEWELL: Until the Germans have been utterly smashed. DALEK: Yes. BRACEWELL: And what is your ultimate aim? DALEK: To win the war. [Churchill's office] DOCTOR: They're Daleks. They're called Daleks. CHURCHILL: They are Bracewell's Ironsides, Doctor. Look. Blueprints, statistics, field tests, photographs. He invented them. DOCTOR: Invented them? Oh, no, no, no. CHURCHILL: Yes. He approached one of our brass hats a few months ago. Fellow's a genius. AMY: A Scottish genius, too. Maybe you should listen to DOCTOR: Shush. He didn't invent them. They're alien. CHURCHILL: Alien. (One glides past the open door, looking in.) DOCTOR: And totally hostile. CHURCHILL: Precisely. They will win me the war. [Corridor] DOCTOR: Why won't you listen to me? Why did you call me in if you won't listen to me? CHURCHILL: When I rang you a month ago, I must admit I had my doubts. The Ironsides seemed too good to be true. DOCTOR: Yes. Right. So destroy them. Exterminate them. CHURCHILL: But imagine what I could do with a hundred. A thousand. DOCTOR: I am imagining. (A Dalek goes past carrying a despatch box.) DOCTOR: Amy, tell him. AMY: Tell him what? DOCTOR: About the Daleks. AMY: What would I know about the Daleks? DOCTOR: Everything. They invaded your world, remember? Planets in the sky. You don't forget that. Amy, tell me you remember the Daleks. AMY: No, sorry. DOCTOR: That's not possible. [Map room] BLANCHE: Blue leader to Two squadron and six two three five seven. Over. MAN [OC]: Bandits at ten o'clock. BLANCHE: Two three five seven. Over. DOCTOR: So, they're up to something. But what is it? What are they after? AMY: Well, let's just ask, shall we? DOCTOR: Amy. Amelia! (Amy taps on a Dalek's shell.) DALEK: Can I be of assistance? AMY: Oh. Yes, yes. See, my friend reckons you're dangerous. That you're an alien. Is it true? DALEK: I am your soldier. AMY: Yeah. Got that bit. Love a squaddie. What else, though? DALEK: Please excuse me. I have duties to perform. DOCTOR: Winston. Winston, please. CHURCHILL: We are waging total war, Doctor. Day after day the Luftwaffe pound this great city like an iron fist. DOCTOR: Wait till the Daleks get started. CHURCHILL: Men, women and children slaughtered. Families torn apart. Wren's churches in flame. DOCTOR: Yeah. Try the Earth in flames. CHURCHILL: I weep for my country. I weep for my empire. It is breaking my heart. DOCTOR: You're resisting, Winston. The whole world knows you're resisting. You're a beacon of hope. CHURCHILL: But for how long? Millions of innocent lives will be saved if I use these Ironsides now. DALEK: Can I be of assistance? DOCTOR: Shut it. Listen to me. Just listen. The Daleks have no conscience, no mercy, no pity. They are my oldest and deadliest enemy. You cannot trust them. CHURCHILL: If Hitler invaded hell, I would give a favourable reference to the Devil. These machines are our salvation. (A siren sounds.) CHURCHILL: Oh, the All Clear. We are safe, for now. (Churchill leaves, followed by a Dalek.) AMY: Doctor, it's the All Clear. You okay? DOCTOR: What does hate look like, Amy? AMY: Hate? DOCTOR: It looks like a Dalek. And I'm going to prove it. [Laboratory] DALEK: Would you care for some tea? BRACEWELL: That would be very nice, thank you. DOCTOR: All right, Prof. Now, the PM's been filling me in. Amazing things, these Ironsides of yours. Amazing. You must be very proud of them. BRACEWELL: Just doing my bit. AMY: Not bad for a Paisley boy. BRACEWELL: Yes, I thought I detected a familiar cadence, my dear. DOCTOR: How did you do it? Come up with the idea? BRACEWELL: How does the muse of invention come to anyone? DOCTOR: But you get a lot of these clever notions, do you? BRACEWELL: Well, ideas just seem to teem from my head. Wonderful things, like. Let me show you. Some musings on the potential of hypersonic flight. Gravity bubbles that can sustain life outside of the terrestrial atmosphere. Came to me in the bath. DOCTOR: And are these your ideas or theirs? BRACEWELL: Oh no, no, no. These robots are entirely under my control, Doctor. They are. (The Dalek brings Bracewell his tea.) BRACEWELL: Thank you. The perfect servant, and the perfect warrior. DOCTOR: I don't know what you're up to, Professor, but whatever they've promised, you cannot trust them. Call them what you like, the Daleks are death. CHURCHILL: Yes, Doctor. Death to our enemies. Death to the forces of darkness, and death to the Third Reich. DOCTOR: Yes, Winston, and death to everyone else too. DALEK: Would you care for some tea? (The Doctor knocks the tray from the Dalek's sucker.) DOCTOR: Stop this! What are you doing here? What do you want? DALEK: We seek only to help you. DOCTOR: To do what? DALEK: To win the war. DOCTOR: Really? Which war? DALEK: I do not understand. DOCTOR: This war, against the Nazis, or your war? The war against the rest of the Universe? The war against all life forms that are not Dalek? DALEK: I do not understand. I am your soldier. DOCTOR: Oh, yeah? Okay. Okay, soldier, defend yourself. (The Doctor picks up a huge spanner and starts hitting the Dalek.) CHURCHILL: Doctor, what the devil? DALEK: You do not require tea? BRACEWELL: Stop him! Prime Minister, please. CHURCHILL: Doctor, what the devil? Please, these machines are precious. DOCTOR: Come on. Fight back. You want to, don't you? You know you do. BRACEWELL: I must protest. DOCTOR: What are you waiting for? Look, you hate me. You want to kill me. Well, go on. Kill me. Kill me! AMY: Doctor, be careful. DALEK: Please desist from striking me. I am your soldier. DOCTOR: You are my enemy! And I am yours. You are everything I despise. The worst thing in all creation. I've defeated you time and time again. I've defeated you. I sent you back into the Void. I saved the whole of reality from you. I am the Doctor. And you are the Daleks. DALEK: Correct. Review testimony. DOCTOR [OC]: I am the Doctor. And you are the Daleks. DOCTOR: Testimony. What are you talking about, testimony? DALEK 2: Transmitting testimony now. DOCTOR: Transmit what, where? [Spaceship] (A Dalek saucer on the far side of the Moon.) GOLD: Receiving testimony now.  DOCTOR [OC]: I am the Doctor. And you are the Daleks. (The lights on a golden Dalek-shaped pod light up.) GOLD: Progenitor activated. Testimony accepted. Testimony accepted. [Laboratory] DALEK 2: Testimony accepted. DOCTOR: Get back, all of you. CHURCHILL: Marines! Marines, get in here. (The two Marines who come through the door are exterminated.) BRACEWELL: Stop it, stop it, please. What are you doing? You are my Ironsides. DALEK: We are the Daleks. BRACEWELL: But I created you. DALEK: No. (The Dalek blows off Bracewell's left hand. It sparks and splutters.) DALEK: We created you. DALEKS: Victory. Victory. Victory. (The Daleks teleport away.) AMY: What just happened, Doctor? DOCTOR: I wanted to know what they wanted. What their plan was. I was their plan. (The Doctor runs out.) AMY: Hey! [Spaceship] (The khaki Daleks enter.) GOLD: Commencing Phase Two. The Progenitor is activated. It begins. [Filing room] DOCTOR: Testimony accepted. That's what they said. My testimony. AMY: Don't beat yourself up because you were right. So, what do we do? Is this what we do now? Chase after them? DOCTOR: This is what I do. yeah, and it's dangerous, so you wait here. AMY: What, so you mean I've got to stay safe down here in the middle of the London Blitz? DOCTOR: Safe as it gets around me. (The Doctor goes into the Tardis and it dematerialises.) AMY: What's he expect us to do now? CHURCHILL: K B O, of course. AMY: What? CHURCHILL: Keep buggering on. [Tardis] (The Doctor sets the scanner on search.) DOCTOR: Come on. Bingo! [Churchill's office] LILIAN: Prime Minister. CHURCHILL: Yes? LILIAN: Signal from RDF, sir. Unidentified object. Hanging in the sky, Captain Childers says. We can't get a proper fix, though. It's too far up. CHURCHILL: What do you think, Miss Pond? The Doctor's in trouble and now we know where he is. AMY: Yeah. Because he'll be on that ship, won't he. Right in the middle of everything. CHURCHILL: Exactly. [Roof] (An air raid warden is on duty when a light comes on in a building across the road.) WARDEN: Oi, put that light out. [Spaceship] GOLD: The final phase commences, channel all reserve power to Progenitor. (The Tardis materialises.) DOCTOR: How about that cuppa now, then? GOLD: It is the Doctor. DALEK 2: Exterminate. DOCTOR: Wait, wait, wait. I wouldn't if I were you. Tardis self-destruct, and you know what that means. My ship goes, you all go with it. (The Doctor is holding out a Jammy Dodger biscuit.) DALEK: You would not use such a device. DOCTOR: Try me. (Dalek 2 rolls forward.) DOCTOR: Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. No scans. No nothing. One move and I'll destroy us all, you got that? Tardis bang bang, Daleks boom! Good boy. This ship's pretty beaten up. Running on empty, I'd say, like you. When we last met, you were at the end of your rope. Finished. DALEK 2: One ship survived. DOCTOR: And you fell back through time, yes. Crippled, dying. DALEK: We picked up a trace. One of the Progenitor devices. DOCTOR: Progenitor? What's that when it's at home? DALEK: It is our past, and our future. DOCTOR: Oh? That's deep. That is deep for a Dalek. What does it mean, though? GOLD: It contains pure Dalek DNA. Thousands were created. All were lost, save one. DOCTOR: Okay, but there's still one thing I don't get, though. If you've got the Progenitor, why build Bracewell? DALEK: It was necessary. DOCTOR: But why? I get it. Oh, I get it. I get it. Oh ho! This is rich. The Progenitor wouldn't recognise you, would it? It saw you as impure. Your DNA is unrecognisable as Dalek. DALEK: A solution was devised. DOCTOR: Yes, yes, yes. Me. My testimony. So you set a trap. You knew that the Progenitor would recognise me, the Daleks' greatest enemy. It would accept my word. My recognition of you. No. No, no. What are you doing? GOLD: Withdraw now, Doctor, or the city dies in flames. DOCTOR: Who are you kidding? This ship is a wreck. You don't have the power to destroy London. GOLD: Watch as the humans destroy themselves. (A ray goes out from the spaceship.) [London] (The lights go on all over the city.)  WARDEN: What the? No. [Map room] TODD: The generators won't switch off. The lights are on all across London, Prime Minister. AMY: Has to be them. It has to be the Daleks. CHURCHILL: The Germans can see every inch of the city. We're sitting ducks. Get those lights out before the Germans get here. BLANCHE: Confirm. Squadron two four four and fifty six mobilised. Emergency. Emergency. LILIAN: One oh nine? One oh nine, confirm. CHURCHILL: Thousands will die if we don't get those lights out now. LILIAN: German bombers sighted over the Channel, sir. ETA ten minutes, sir. CHURCHILL: Here they come. Get a message to Mister Attlee. War Cabinet meeting at oh three hundred hours. If we're all still here. AMY: We can't just sit here. We've got to take the fight to the Daleks. CHURCHILL: How? None of our weapons are a match for theirs. AMY: Oh God, we must have something. MAN [OC]: Six oh four Blenheim squadron, stand by. AMY: Oh. It's staring us in the face. A gift, from the Daleks. [Spaceship] DOCTOR: Turn those lights off now. Turn London off or I swear I will use the Tardis self destruct. DALEK: Stalemate, Doctor. Leave us and return to Earth. DOCTOR: Oh, that's it. That's your great victory? You leave? DALEK: Extinction is not an option. We shall return to our own time and begin again. DOCTOR: No, no, no. I won't let you get away this time. I won't. DALEK: We have succeeded. DNA reconstruction is complete. Observe, Doctor, a new Dalek paradigm. (Five restyled Daleks glide out from the Progenitor cabinet, each a different colour. What a gift for the marketing boys.) DALEK: The Progenitor has fulfilled our new destiny. Behold, the restoration of the Daleks. The resurrection of the master race. [Laboratory] CHURCHILL: Bracewell, put the gun down. BRACEWELL: My life is a lie, and I choose to end it. AMY: In your own time, Paisley boy, because right now we need your help. BRACEWELL: But those creatures, my Ironsides, they made me? I can remember things. So many things. The last war. The squalor and the mud and the awful, awful misery of it all. What am I? What am I? CHURCHILL: What you are, sir, is either on our side or theirs. Now, I don't give a damn if you're a machine, Bracewell. Are you a man? AMY: Listen to me. I understand. Really, I do. Look, there is a spaceship up there lighting up London like a Christmas tree. Thousands of people will die tonight if we don't stop it, and you are the only one who can help take it down. BRACEWELL: I am? AMY: You're alien technology. You're as clever as the Daleks are, so start thinking. What about rockets? You got rockets? Because you said gravity whatsits, hypersonic flight, some kind of missile. CHURCHILL: It isn't a fireworks party, Miss Pond. We need proper tactical. Oh. A missile. Or. AMY: Or what? CHURCHILL: We could send something up there, you say? BRACEWELL: Yes, well, with a gravity bubble, yes, but. Theoretically it's possible that we could actually send something into space. CHURCHILL: Bracewell, it's time to think big. [Spaceship] DALEK: All hail the new Daleks. All hail the new Daleks.  WHITE: Yes, you are inferior. DALEK: Yes. WHITE: Then prepare. DALEKS: We are ready. WHITE: Cleanse the unclean. Total obliteration. Disintegrate. (The new neon coloured Daleks exterminate the old khaki and gold ones.) DOCTOR: Blimey. What do you do to the ones who mess up? WHITE: You are the Doctor. You must be exterminated. (The Doctor holds out his Jammy Dodger again.) DOCTOR: Don't mess with me, sweetheart. [Map room] MAN [OC]: More Nazi bombers approaching in strike formation. Incendiary bombs have hit the East End of London. CHURCHILL: At last. Are they ready? BRACEWELL: I hope so. But in the meantime, this will pick up Dalek transmissions. (Bracewell's rigged radar scanner picks up a picture of the White Dalek and the Doctor.) WHITE [on screen]: We are the paradigm of a new Dalek race. AMY: It's him. It's the Doctor. WHITE [on screen]: Scientist, Strategist [Spaceship] WHITE: Drone, Eternal, and the Supreme. DOCTOR: Which would be you, I'm guessing. Well, you know, nice paint job. [Map room] DOCTOR [on screen]: I'd be feeling pretty swish if I looked like you. Pretty supreme. AMY: He's got company. New company. You've got to hurry up. (Bracewell answers the phone.) BRACEWELL: Yes? Right. Right, thanks. Ready when you are, Prime Minister. CHURCHILL: Splendid. BRACEWELL: Spaceship's exact coordinates located. CHURCHILL: Go to it, Group Captain. Go to it. CHILDERS: Broadsword to Danny Boy. Broadsword to Danny Boy. Scramble. Scramble. Scramble. (Groan. Where Eagles Dare.) [Spaceship] DOCTOR: Question is, what do we do now? Either you turn off your clever machine or I'll blow you and your new paradigm into eternity. WHITE: And yourself. DOCTOR: Occupational hazard. BLUE: Scan reveals nothing. Tardis self destruct device non-existent. (The Doctor eats his biscuit.) DOCTOR: All right, it's a Jammy Dodger, but I was promised tea. (An alarm sounds.) BLUE: Alert. Unidentified projectile approaching. Correction, multiple projectiles. WHITE: What have the humans done? DOCTOR: I don't know. WHITE: Explain. Explain. Explain. PILOT [OC]: Danny Boy to the Doctor. Danny Boy to the Doctor. Are you receiving me? Over. DOCTOR: Oh ho! Winston, you beauty. [Space] (A flight of Spitfires are on their way.) PILOT: Danny Boy to the Doctor. Come in. Over. [Spaceship] DOCTOR: Loud and clear, Danny Boy. Big dish, side of the ship. Blow it up. Over. WHITE: Exterminate the Doctor. (The Doctor runs for the Tardis.) [Map room] CHURCHILL: You heard him, Group Captain. Target that dish. Send in all we've got. [Space] CHILDERS [OC]: Broadsword to Danny Boy. Target the dish and stop that signal. Over. PILOT:. Understood, sir. Over. [Map room] PILOT [OC]: You can count on us. Over. BLANCHE: Oh, good luck, lads. [Space] PILOT: Okay, chaps, let's put London back under cover of darkness. Tally ho! Cover my back, going in close. Pull out, pull out. [Map room] PILOT [OC]: We've lost Jubilee, sir. Over. CHILDERS: Beam still active, sir. CHURCHILL: Send them in again. [Space] PILOT: Flintlock's down sir, and the dish seems to be protected. Over. [Spaceship] ORANGE: Shields intact. Pulse still active. [Space] PILOT: Danny Boy to the Doctor. Only me left now. [Tardis] PILOT [OC]: Anything you can do, sir? Over. DOCTOR: The Doctor to Danny Boy. The Doctor to Danny Boy. [Space] DOCTOR [OC]: I can disrupt the Dalek shields, but not for long. Over. PILOT: Good show, Doctor. Go to it. Over. [Map room] PILOT: I'm going in. Wish me luck. Over. [Spaceship] ORANGE: Shields de-activated. (Boom!) ORANGE: Energy pulse destroyed. [Map room] CHILDERS: Direct hit, sir! AMY: Yes! [Roof] (Up on his roof, the Air Raid Warden watches the lights go out all over London.) WARDEN: Thank the Lord. Do your worst, Adolf. [Space] PILOT: Danny Boy to the Doctor. Going in for another attack. [Tardis] DOCTOR: The Doctor to Danny Boy. The Doctor to Danny Boy. Destroy this ship. Over. [Space] PILOT: What about you, Doctor? [Tardis] DOCTOR: I'll be okay. WHITE [on screen]: Doctor, call off your attack. DOCTOR: Ah ha. What, and let you scuttle off back to the future? No fear. This is the end for you. The final end. WHITE [on screen]: Call off the attack, or we will destroy the Earth. DOCTOR: I'm not stupid, mate. You've just played your last card. [Spaceship] WHITE: Bracewell is a bomb. [Tardis] DOCTOR: You're bluffing. Deception's second nature to you. There isn't a sincere bone in your body. There isn't a bone in your body. (The Supreme Dalek projects himself into the Tardis on a holo-screen.) WHITE [on screen]: His power is derived from an Oblivion Continuum. Call off your attack, or we will detonate the android. DOCTOR: No. This is my best chance ever. The last of the Daleks. I can rid the Universe of you, once and for all. WHITE [on scanner]: Then do it. But we will shatter the planet below. [Spaceship] WHITE: The Earth will die screaming. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Yeah, and if I let you go, you'll be stronger than ever. A new race of Daleks. WHITE [on scanner]: Then choose, Doctor. Destroy the Daleks [Spaceship] WHITE: Or save the Earth. [Tardis] WHITE [on scanner]: Begin countdown of Oblivion Continuum. Choose, Doctor. Choose. Choose. DOCTOR: The Doctor to Danny Boy. The Doctor to Danny Boy. Withdraw. [Space] PILOT: Say again, sir. Over. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Withdraw. Return to Earth. Over and out. [Space] PILOT: But sir. DOCTOR [OC]: There's no time. You have to return to Earth now. Over. (The Spitfire returns to Earth. The Tardis materialises in the filing room.) [Spaceship] WHITE: The Doctor has failed. His compassion is his greatest weakness. Daleks have no such weakness. [Map room] (The Doctor runs in and punches Bracewell on the jaw, knocking him down.) AMY: Doctor! DOCTOR: Ow. Sorry, Professor, you're a bomb. An inconceivably massive Dalek bomb. BRACEWELL: What? DOCTOR: There's an Oblivion Continuum inside you. A captured wormhole that provides perpetual power. Detonate that, and the Earth will bleed through into another dimension. Now keep down. (The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver to open up Bracewell's torso.) [Spaceship] WHITE: Detonation sequence activated. Time corridor establishing. BLUE: Time jump in thirty rels. [Map room] (One of the five blue segments of a circle on Bracewell's torso turns yellow.) AMY: Well? DOCTOR: I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Never seen one up close before. AMY: So what, they've wired him up to detonate? DOCTOR: Oh no, not wired him up. He is a bomb. Walking, talking, pow, exploding, the moment that flashes red. AMY: There's a blue wire or something you have to cut, isn't there? There's always a blue wire. Or a red one. DOCTOR: You're not helping. CHURCHILL: It's incredible. He talked to us about his memories. The Great War. DOCTOR: Someone else's stolen thoughts, implanted in a positronic brain. Tell me about it. Bracewell. Tell me about your life. BRACEWELL: Doctor, I really don't think this is the time. DOCTOR: Tell me, and prove you're human. Tell me everything. [Spaceship] WHITE: Countdown proceeding. [Map room] BRACEWELL: My family ran the Post Office. It's a little place just near the abbey, just by the ash trees. There used to be eight trees but there was a storm. DOCTOR: And your parents? Come on, tell me. "BRACEWELL; Good people. Kind people. They died. Scarlet fever." DOCTOR: What was that like? How did it feel? How did it make you feel, Edwin? Tell me. Tell me now. BRACEWELL: It hurt. It hurt, Doctor, it hurt so badly. It was like a wound. I though it was worse than a wound. Like I'd been emptied out. There was nothing left. (Two red, one yellow and two blue segments now.) DOCTOR: Good. Remember it now, Edwin. The ash trees by the Post Office and your mum and dad, and losing them, and men in the trenches you saw die. Remember it. Feel it. You feel it because you're human. You're not like them. You're not like the Daleks. BRACEWELL: It hurts, Doctor. It hurts so much. DOCTOR: Good. Good, good, brilliant. Embrace it. That means you're alive. They cannot explode that bomb because you're a human being. You are flesh and blood. They cannot explode that bomb. Believe it. You are Professor Edwin Bracewell, and you, my friend, are a human being. (Four red, one yellow.) DOCTOR: It's not working. I can't stop it. AMY: Hey, Paisley. Ever fancied someone you know you shouldn't? BRACEWELL: What? AMY: It hurts, doesn't it? But kind of a good hurt. BRACEWELL: I really shouldn't talk about her. AMY: Oh. There's a her. (The yellow turns back to blue.) DOCTOR: What was her name? BRACEWELL: Dorabella. DOCTOR: Dorabella? It's a lovely name. It's a beautiful name. AMY: What was she like, Edwin? BRACEWELL: Oh, such a smile. And her eyes. Her eyes were so blue. Almost violet, like the last touch of sunset on the edge of the world. Dorabella. (All the segments return to blue.) [Spaceship] BLUE: Oblivion Continuum inactive. WHITE: Impossible. BLUE: Time jump imminent. Prepare. [Map room] DOCTOR: Welcome to the human race. (The Doctor points at Churchill.) DOCTOR: You're brilliant. (Bracewell) You're brilliant. (Amy) And you, I. (The Doctor kisses Amy's forehead.) DOCTOR: Now. Got to stop them. Stop the Daleks. BRACEWELL: Wait, Doctor. Wait, wait. It's too late. [Spaceship] WHITE: You will never defeat us, Doctor. We will return. DALEKS: We will return. (The Dalek spaceship makes the time jump.) [Map room] BRACEWELL: Gone. They've gone. DOCTOR: No. No! They can't. They can't have got away from me again. BRACEWELL: No, I can feel it. My mind is clear. The Daleks have gone. AMY: Doctor, it's okay. You did it. You stopped the bomb. Doctor? DOCTOR: I had a choice. And they knew I'd choose the Earth. The Daleks have won. They beat me. They've won. AMY: But you saved the Earth. Not too shabby, is it? Is it. DOCTOR: No, it's not too shabby. CHURCHILL: It's a brilliant achievement, my dear friend. Here, have a cigar. DOCTOR: No. (A new morning, and the Air Raid Warden raises the flagpole with the Union Flag on it.) AMY: So, what now, then? CHURCHILL: I still have a war to run, Miss Pond. BLANCHE: Prime Minister. CHURCHILL: Oh, thank you. Oh, they hit the Palace and Saint Paul's again. Fire crews only just saved it. (Lilian bursts into tears.) AMY: Is she okay? CHURCHILL: What? AMY: She looks very upset. (Blanche goes to comfort Lilian.) CHURCHILL: Oh, Miss Breen? Her young man didn't make it, I'm afraid. Just got word. Shot down over the Channel. Where's the Doctor? DOCTOR: Tying up loose ends. I've taken out all the alien tech Bracewell put in. CHURCHILL: Won't you reconsider, Doctor? Those Spitfires would win me the war in twenty hours. DOCTOR: Exactly. CHURCHILL: But why not? Why can't we put an end to all this misery? DOCTOR: Oh, it doesn't work like that, Winston, and it's going to be tough. There are terrible days to come. The darkest days. But you can do it. You know you can. CHURCHILL: Stay with us, and help us win through. The world needs you. DOCTOR: The world doesn't need me. CHURCHILL: No? DOCTOR: The world's got Winston Spencer Churchill. CHURCHILL: It's been a pleasure, Doctor, as always. DOCTOR: Too right. CHURCHILL: Goodbye, Doctor. DOCTOR: Oh, shall we say adieu? (The Doctor and Churchill embrace.) CHURCHILL: Indeed. Goodbye, Miss Pond. AMY: It's, it's been amazing, meeting you. CHURCHILL: I'm sure it has. (Amy kisses Churchill, and he walks away.) AMY: Oi, Churchill. Tardis key. The one you just took from the Doctor. CHURCHILL: Oh, she's good, Doctor. As sharp as a pin. Almost as sharp as me. (Churchill returns the key to Amy.) CHURCHILL: K B O. (Amy gives the key to the Doctor.) [Laboratory] BRACEWELL: I've been expecting you, Doctor. I knew this moment had to come. DOCTOR: Moment? BRACEWELL: It's time to de-activate me. DOCTOR: Is it? Oh. Er, yeah. BRACEWELL: You have no choice. I'm Dalek technology. Can't allow me to go pottering around down here where I have no business. DOCTOR: No, you're dead right, Professor. A hundred percent right. And by the time I get back here in what, ten minutes? AMY: More like fifteen. DOCTOR: Fifteen minutes, yeah, that's exactly what I'm going to do. You are going to be so de-activated. It's going be like you've never even been activated. AMY: Yeah. BRACEWELL: Fifteen minutes? DOCTOR: More like twenty, if I'm honest. Once Pond and I see to the urgent thing we've got to see to. The, the. See? BRACEWELL: Very well, Doctor. I shall wait here and prepare myself. AMY: That Dalek tech a bit slow on the uptake. That thing we've got to do, going to take half an hour, realistically, isn't it, Doctor? DOCTOR: Easily. So no running off, that's what I'm saying. Don't go trying to find that little Post Office with the ash trees or that girl. What was her name? BRACEWELL: Dorabella. DOCTOR: Dorabella. On no account go looking for her. Mind you, you can get a lot done in half an hour. (The penny finally drops.) BRACEWELL: Thank you. Thank you, Doctor. DOCTOR: Come along, Pond. (The Doctor and Amy leave. Bracewell starts packing a suitcase.) [Filing room] AMY: So, you have enemies then? DOCTOR: Everyone's got enemies. AMY: Yeah, but mine's the woman outside Budgens with the mental Jack Russell. You've got, like, you know, arch-enemies. DOCTOR: Suppose so. AMY: And here's me thinking we'd just be running through time, being daft and fixing stuff. But no, it's dangerous. DOCTOR: Yep. Very. Is that a problem? AMY: I'm still here, aren't I? You're worried about the Daleks. DOCTOR: I'm always worried about the Daleks. AMY: It'll take time though, won't it? I mean, there's still not many of them. They'll need a while to build themselves up. DOCTOR: It's not that. There's something else. Something we've forgotten. Or rather you have. AMY: Me? DOCTOR: You didn't know them, Amy. You'd never seen them before. And you should have done. You should. [Field] (A man in a uniform is standing in the middle of a field, with a smudge of lipstick on his face. He appears to be rather dizzy. A man in evening dress walks up to him.) GUARD: It's a beautiful day. (The man in evening dress wipes the lipstick with the corner of his handkerchief.) [Corridor] ALISTAIR: Hallucinogenic lipstick. She's here. (A woman strides along in a evening dress and ridiculously high heels. She shoots out a door lock with a small pistol and enters a small strong room. She then converts the pistol into an acetylene torch and cuts into the surface of a box.) [Museum] (12,000 years later. The Doctor is commenting on the labelling of the various exhibits.) DOCTOR: Wrong. Wrong. Bit right, mostly wrong. I love museums. AMY: Yeah, great. Can we go to a planet now? Big space ship? Churchill's bunker? You promised me a planet next. DOCTOR: Amy, this isn't any old asteroid. It's the Delerium Archive, the final resting place of the headless monks. The biggest museum ever.  AMY: You've got a time machine. What do you need museums for? DOCTOR: Wrong. Very wrong. Ooo, one of mine. Also one of mine. AMY: Oh, I see. It's how you keep score. (The Doctor is very taken by a square box in a case.) AMY: Oh great, an old box. DOCTOR: It's from one of the old starliners. A Home Box. AMY: What's a Home Box? DOCTOR: Like a black box on a plane, except it homes. Anything happens to the ship, the Home Box flies home with all the flight data. AMY: So? DOCTOR: The writing, the graffiti. Old High Gallifreyan. The lost language of the Time Lords. (Which, we discover, is what the woman was burning into the surface of the box 12,000 years ago.) DOCTOR: There were days, there were many days, these words could burn stars and raise up empires, and topple gods. AMY: What does it say? DOCTOR: Hello, sweetie. (Back in the past, River Song winks at a security camera. In the present, an alarm is sounding and guards are chasing the Doctor and Amy back to the Tardis.) [Corridor] ALISTAIR: Party's over, Doctor Song. [Tardis] AMY: Why are we doing this? DOCTOR: Because someone on a spaceship twelve thousand years ago is trying to attract my attention. Let's see if we can get the security playback working. (The Doctor has stolen the Home Box. The playback shows River winking at the camera.) ALISTAIR [OC]: The party's over, Doctor Song [Corridor] ALISTAIR [OC]: Yet still you're on board. [Tardis] RIVER [OC]: Sorry, Alistair. [Corridor] RIVER: I needed to see what was in your vault. Do you all know what's down there? Any of you? Because I'll tell you something. This ship won't reach its destination. ALISTAIR: Wait till she runs. Don't make it look like an execution. RIVER: Triple seven five [Tardis] RIVER [OC]: Slash three four nine by ten. [Corridor] RIVER: Zero twelve slash acorn. [Tardis] RIVER [OC]: Oh, and I could do with an air corridor. (The Doctor inputs the coordinates.) AMY: What was that? What did she say? DOCTOR: Coordinates. [Corridor] RIVER: Like I said on the dance floor, you might want to find something to hang on to. (River is standing in front of an airlock. She blows a kiss and it opens. Alistair and his guards hang onto rails as River is sucked out, backwards. The Tardis materialises in her flight path.) [Tardis] DOCTOR: Whoo! (He opens the door, holds out his hand and River Song comes sailing in. She lands on top of him.) AMY: Doctor? DOCTOR: River? RIVER: Follow that ship. (So they do.) RIVER: They've gone into warp drive. We're losing them. Stay close. DOCTOR: I'm trying. RIVER: Use the stabilisers. DOCTOR: There aren't any stabilisers. RIVER: The blue switches. DOCTOR: Oh, the blue ones don't do anything, they're just blue. RIVER: Yes, they're blue. Look, they're the blue stabilisers. (She presses them and the Tardis stops shaking.) RIVER: See? DOCTOR: Yeah. Well, it's just boring now, isn't it? They're boring-ers. They're blue boring-ers. AMY: Doctor, how come she can fly the Tardis? DOCTOR: You call that flying the Tardis? Ha! RIVER: Okay. I've mapped the probability vectors, done a fold-back on the temporal isometry, charted the ship to its destination, and parked us right along side. DOCTOR: Parked us? We haven't landed. RIVER: Of course we've landed. I just landed her. DOCTOR: But, it didn't make the noise. RIVER: What noise? DOCTOR: You know, the (wheezing). RIVER: It's not supposed to make that noise. You leave the brakes on. DOCTOR: Yeah, well, it's a brilliant noise. I love that noise. Come along, Pond. Let's have a look. RIVER: No, wait. Environment checks. DOCTOR: Oh yes, sorry. Quite right. Environment checks. (The Doctor opens the Tardis door and looks out.) DOCTOR: Nice out. RIVER: We're somewhere in the Garn Belt. There's an atmosphere. Early indications suggest that DOCTOR: We're on Alfava Metraxis, the seventh planet of the Dundra System. Oxygen rich atmosphere, all toxins in the soft band, eleven hour day and chances of rain later. RIVER: He thinks he's so hot when he does that. AMY: How come you can fly the Tardis? RIVER: Oh, I had lessons from the very best. DOCTOR: Well, yeah. RIVER: It's a shame you were busy that day. Right then, why did they land here? DOCTOR: They didn't land. RIVER: Sorry? DOCTOR: You should've checked the Home Box. It crashed. (River leaves.) AMY: Explain Who is that and how did she do that museum thing? DOCTOR: It's a long story and I don't know most of it. Off we go. AMY: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Leaving. She's got where she wants to go, let's go where we want to go. AMY: Are you basically running away? DOCTOR: Yep. AMY: Why? DOCTOR: Because she's the future. My future. AMY: Can you run away from that? DOCTOR: I can run away from anything I like. Time is not the boss of me. AMY: Hang on, is that a planet out there? DOCTOR: Yes, of course it's a planet. AMY: You promised me a planet. Five minutes? DOCTOR: Okay, five minutes. AMY: Yes! DOCTOR: But that's all, because I'm telling you now, that woman is not dragging me into anything. [Planet surface] (The once sleek spaceship is a burning wreck sticking out of a rock-carved building.) AMY: What caused it to crash? RIVER: Not me. DOCTOR: Nah, the airlock would've sealed seconds after you blew it. According to the Home Box, the warp engines had a phase shift. No survivors. RIVER: A phase shift would have to be sabotage. I did warn them. DOCTOR: About what? RIVER: Well, at least the building was empty. Aplan temple. Unoccupied for centuries. AMY: Aren't you going to introduce us? DOCTOR: Amy Pond, Professor River Song. RIVER: Ah, I'm going to be a Professor some day, am I? How exciting. Spoilers. AMY: Yeah, but who is she and how did she do that? She just left you a note in a museum. RIVER: Two things always guaranteed to show up in a museum. The Home Box of category four starliner and sooner or later, him. It's how he keeps score. AMY: I know. RIVER: It's hilarious, isn't it? DOCTOR: I'm nobody's taxi service. I'm not going to be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a space ship. RIVER: And you are so wrong. There's one survivor. There's a thing in the belly of that ship that can't ever die. Now he's listening. (River uses her communicator.) RIVER: You lot in orbit yet? Yeah, I saw it land. I'm at the crash site. Try and home in on my signal. Doctor, can you sonic me? I need to boost the signal so we can use it as a beacon. (He does, grudgingly.) AMY: Ooo, Doctor, you sonicked her. RIVER: We have a minute. Shall we? (She gets out her Tardis-style diary.) RIVER: Where are we up to? Have we done the Bone Meadows? AMY: What's the book? DOCTOR: Stay away from it. AMY: What is it though? DOCTOR: Her diary. RIVER: Our diary. DOCTOR: Her past, my future. Time travel. We keep meeting in the wrong order. (Four small tornadoes kick up the dust and turn into four soldiers.) OCTAVIAN: You promised me an army, Doctor Song. RIVER: No, I promised you the equivalent of an army. This is the Doctor. OCTAVIAN: Father Octavian, Sir. Bishop, second class. Twenty clerics at my command. The troops are already in the drop ship and landing shortly. Doctor Song was helping us with a covert investigation. Has Doctor Song explained what we're dealing with? RIVER: Doctor, what do you know of the Weeping Angels? [Camp] (Night had fallen and the rest of the troops have arrived with their supplies in a small drop ship, like a container unit. They have set up camp around it.) OCTAVIAN: The Angel, as far as we know, is still trapped in the ship. Our mission is to get inside and neutralise it. We can't get through up top, we'd be too close to the drives. According to this, behind the cliff face there's a network of catacombs leading right up to the temple. We can blow through the base of the cliffs, get into the entrance chamber, then make our way up. DOCTOR: Oh, good. OCTAVIAN: Good, sir? DOCTOR: Catacombs. Probably dark ones. Dark catacombs. Great. OCTAVIAN: Technically, I think it's called a maze of the dead. DOCTOR: You can stop any time you like. SOLDIER [OC]: Father Octavian? OCTAVIAN: Excuse me, sir. (Octavian leaves.) AMY: You're letting people call you sir. You never do that. So, whatever a Weeping Angel is, it's really bad, yeah? DOCTOR: Now that's interesting. You're still here. Which part of wait in the Tardis till I tell you it's safe was so confusing? AMY: Ooo, you are all Mister Grumpy Face today. DOCTOR: A Weeping Angel, Amy, is the deadliest, most powerful, most malevolent life form evolution has ever produced, and right now one of them is trapped inside that wreckage and I'm supposed to climb in after it with a screwdriver and a torch, and assuming I survive the radiation long enough and assuming the whole ship doesn't explode in my face, do something incredibly clever which I haven't actually thought of yet. That's my day. That's what I'm up to. Any questions? AMY: Is River Song your wife? Because she's someone from your future, and the way she talks to you, I've never seen anyone do that. She's kind of like, you know, heel, boy. She's Mrs Doctor from the future, isn't she? Is she going to be your wife one day? DOCTOR: Yes, you're right. I am definitely Mister Grumpy Face today. (River calls from the drop module. She has changed into combat fatigues.) RIVER: Doctor! Doctor? AMY: Oops. Her indoors. RIVER: Father Octavian. AMY: Why do they call him Father? DOCTOR: He's their Bishop, they're his Clerics. It's the fifty first Century. The Church has moved on. [Drop ship] (A grainy image of a Weeping Angel with its back towards them is on a monitor on the far wall.) RIVER: What do you think? It's from the security cameras in the Byzantium vault. I ripped it when I was on board. Sorry about the quality. It's four seconds. I've put it on loop. DOCTOR: Yeah, it's an Angel. Hands covering its face. OCTAVIAN: You've encountered the Angels before. DOCTOR: Once, on Earth, a long time ago. But those were scavengers, barely surviving. AMY: But it's just a statue. RIVER: It's a statue when you see it. DOCTOR: Where did it come from? RIVER: Oh, pulled from the ruins of Razbahan, end of last century. It's been in private hands ever since. Dormant all that time. DOCTOR: There's a difference between dormant and patient. AMY: What's that mean, it's a statue when you see it? RIVER: The Weeping Angels can only move if they're unseen. So legend has it. DOCTOR: No, it's not legend, it's a quantum lock. In the sight of any living creature the Angels literally cease to exist. They're just stone. The ultimate defence mechanism. AMY: What, being a stone? DOCTOR: Being a stone until you turn your back. [Camp] DOCTOR: The hyperdrive would've split on impact. That whole ship's going to be flooded with drive burn radiation, cracked electrons, gravity storms. Deadly to almost any living thing. OCTAVIAN: Deadly to an Angel? DOCTOR: Dinner to an Angel. The longer we leave it there, the stronger it will grow. Who built that temple? Are they still around? RIVER: The Aplans. Indigenous life form. They died out four hundred years ago. OCTAVIAN: Two hundred years later, the planet was terraformed. Currently there are six billion human colonists. DOCTOR: Whoo! You lot, you're everywhere. You're like rabbits. I'll never get done saving you. OCTAVIAN: Sir, if there is a clear and present danger to the local population DOCTOR: Oh, there is. Bad as it gets. Bishop, lock and load. OCTAVIAN: Verger, how are we doing with those explosives? Doctor Song, with me. RIVER: Two minutes. Sweetie, I need you. DOCTOR: Sweetie? AMY: Anybody need me? Nobody? (Amy goes back into the Module and looks at the image of the Angel on the monitor. It's face is raised from his hands and starting to look over its shoulder.) RIVER: I found this. Definitive work on the Angels. Well, the only one. Written by a madman. It's barely readable, but I've marked a few passages. (The Doctor riffles through the pages of the book.) DOCTOR: Not bad. Bit slow in the middle. Didn't you hate his girlfriend? No. No, hang on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. (He sniffs the book.) AMY: Doctor Song? Did you have more than one clip of the Angel? RIVER: No, just the four seconds. DOCTOR: This book is wrong. What's wrong with this book? It's wrong. (The Angel is now looking straight at the viewer, hands completely lowered. The time stamp has moved as far as 00:11:28:04 before jumping back to 00:11:24:23. When Amy looks at the monitor again, it is closer to the camera. The module door closes and locks behind her.) RIVER: It's so strange when you go all baby face. How early is this for you? DOCTOR: Very early. RIVER: So you don't know who I am yet? DOCTOR: How do you know who I am? I don't always look the same. RIVER: I've got pictures of all your faces. You never show up in the right order, though. I need the spotter's guide. DOCTOR: Pictures. Why aren't there pictures? [Drop ship] (Amy tries turning off the monitor, but it comes back on again, and again, and again. She moves close to the monitor.) AMY: But you're just a recording. You can't move. (She tries to pull out the lead to the monitor. When she looks back up, the Angel is up close to the camera, but the time stamp is still running through the same four seconds.) AMY: Doctor? (Amy cannot open the door. The Angel's mouth is open.) AMY: Doctor! [Camp] DOCTOR: This whole book, it's a warning about the Weeping Angels, so why no pictures? Why not show us what to look out for? RIVER: There was a bit about images. What was that? DOCTOR: Yes. Hang on. (reads) That which holds the image of an angel becomes itself an angel. [Drop ship] AMY: Doctor! [Camp] RIVER: What does that mean? An image of a Angel becomes itself an Angel. [Drop ship] (A image of the angel is inside.) AMY: Doctor! It's in the room! [Camp] DOCTOR: Amy! AMY [OC]: Doctor! DOCTOR: Are you all right? What's happening? [Drop ship] DOCTOR: Doctor? Doctor, it's coming out of the television. [Outside the drop ship] AMY [OC]: The Angel is here. (The Doctor sonicks the keypad lock.) DOCTOR: Don't take your eyes off it. Keep looking. It can't move if you're looking. RIVER: What's wrong? DOCTOR: Deadlocked. RIVER: There is no deadlock. DOCTOR: Don't blink, Amy. Don't even blink. [Drop ship] AMY: Doctor. [Outside the drop ship] RIVER: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Cutting the power. It's using the screen, I'm turning the screen off. No good, it's deadlocked the whole system. RIVER: There's no deadlock. DOCTOR: There is now. AMY [OC]: Help me! DOCTOR: Can you turn it off? [Drop ship] AMY: Doctor. DOCTOR [OC]: The screen. Can you turn it off? AMY: I tried. DOCTOR [OC]: Try again [Outside the drop ship] DOCTOR: But don't take your eyes off the Angel. [Drop ship] AMY: I'm not. [Outside the drop ship] DOCTOR: Each time it moves, it'll move faster. Don't even blink. (River is trying to cut through the door with her pistol torch.) [Drop ship] (Amy tries closing one eye at a time.) AMY: I'm not blinking. Have you ever tried not blinking? (She feels for the remote control.) AMY: It just keeps switching back on. [Outside the drop ship] DOCTOR: Yeah, it's the Angel. [Drop ship] AMY: But it's just a recording. [Outside the drop ship] DOCTOR: No, anything that takes the image of an Angel is an Angel. What are you doing? RIVER: I'm trying to cut through. It's not even warm. DOCTOR: There is no way in. It's not physically possible. [Drop ship] AMY: Doctor, what's it going to do to me? [Outside the drop ship] DOCTOR: Just keep looking at it. Don't stop looking. [Drop ship] AMY: Just tell me. [Outside the drop ship] (The Doctor runs and gets the book.) AMY [OC]: Tell me. Tell me! DOCTOR: Amy, not the eyes. [Drop ship] DOCTOR [OC]: Look at the Angel but don't look at the eyes. [Drop ship] AMY: Why? [Outside the drop ship] RIVER: What is it? DOCTOR: (reads) The eyes are not the windows of the soul. They are the doors. Beware what may enter there. [Drop ship] AMY: Doctor, what did you say? DOCTOR [OC]: Don't look at the eyes! AMY: No, about images. What did you say about images? [Outside the drop ship] RIVER: Whatever holds the image of an Angel, is an Angel. [Drop ship] AMY: Okay, hold this. One, two, three, four. (Amy presses pause on the remote just as the tape loop returns to the start. The image turns to static. The Doctor and River burst in as the monitor turns off.) AMY: I froze it. There was a sort of blip on the tape and I froze it on the blip. It wasn't the image of an Angel any more. That was good, yeah? It was, wasn't it? That was pretty good. RIVER: That was amazing. DOCTOR: River, hug Amy. AMY: Why? DOCTOR: Because I'm busy. AMY: I'm fine. RIVER: You're brilliant. AMY: Thanks. Yeah, I kind of creamed it, didn't I? RIVER: So it was here? That was the Angel? DOCTOR: That was a projection of the Angel. It's reaching out, getting a good look at us. It's no longer dormant. (There is an explosion outside.) [Camp] CLERIC: Last one positive. OCTAVIAN: Doctor? We're through. [Drop ship] DOCTOR: Okay, now it starts. RIVER: Coming? AMY: Yeah, coming. There's just something in my eye. [Entrance chamber] (Everyone climbs down a rope ladder into a very large underground space.) DOCTOR: Do we have a gravity globe? OCTAVIAN: Grav globe. (A Cleric hands a globe to the Doctor.) AMY: Where are we? What is this? RIVER: It's an Aplan Mortarium, sometimes called a Maze of the Dead. AMY: What's that? DOCTOR: Well, if you happen to be a creature of living stone (The Doctor kicks the globe into the air, where it illuminates a vast array of mausoleums and statuary.) DOCTOR: The perfect hiding place. OCTAVIAN: I guess this makes it a bit trickier. DOCTOR: A bit, yeah. OCTAVIAN: A stone Angel on the loose amongst stone statues. A lot harder than I'd prayed for. RIVER: A needle in a haystack. DOCTOR: A needle that looks like hay. A hay-like needle of death. A hay-alike needle of death in a haystack of, er, statues. No, yours was fine. OCTAVIAN: Right. Check every single statue in this chamber. You know what you're looking for. Complete visual inspection. One question. How do we fight it? DOCTOR: We find it, and hope. (Octavian stops River.) OCTAVIAN: He doesn't know yet, does he? Who and what you are. RIVER: It's too early in his time stream. OCTAVIAN: Well, make sure he doesn't work it out, or he's not going to help us. RIVER: I won't let you down. Believe you me, I have no intention of going back to prison. CHRISTIAN: Sir? Side chamber. One visible exit. OCTAVIAN: Check it out. Angelo, go with him. [Maze] (The Doctor and Amy start up the terraces. She pauses to rub her eye, and stone dust falls out between her fingers.) RIVER: You all right? AMY: Yeah, I'm fine. So, what's a Maze of the Dead? RIVER: Oh, it's not as bad as it sounds. It's just a labyrinth with dead people buried in the walls. Okay, that was fairly bad. Right give me your arm. This won't hurt a bit. (River injects Amy.) AMY: Ow! RIVER: There, you see. I lied. It's a viro-stabiliser. Stabilises your metabolism against radiation, drive burn, anything. You're going to need it when we get up to that ship. AMY: So what's he like? In the future, I mean. Because you know him in the future, don't you? RIVER: The Doctor? Well, the Doctor's the Doctor. AMY: Oh. Well, that's very helpful. Mind if I write that down? RIVER: Yes, we are. DOCTOR: Sorry, what? RIVER: Talking about you. DOCTOR: I wasn't listening. I'm busy. RIVER: Ah. The other way up. (The Doctor turns River's portable computer around.) DOCTOR: Yeah. AMY: You're so his wife. RIVER: Oh, Amy, Amy, Amy. This is the Doctor we're talking about. Do you really think it could be anything that simple? AMY: Yep. RIVER: You're good. I'm not saying you're right, but you are very good. [Side chamber] CHRISTIAN: Can you believe this? We're hunting statues. ANGELO: Better than chasing lava snakes. CHRISTIAN: Actually, lava snakes weren't that bad. (He goes on ahead.) [Cave] (The torch on Christian's rifle flickers, then he hears the sound of stone grating on stone.) CHRISTIAN: Who's there? Is someone there? Angelo. Angelo! (A snarling Angel appears right in front of him.) [Side chamber] ANGELO: Christian, is that you? CHRISTIAN [OC]: Angelo, come and see this. ANGELO: What is it? CHRISTIAN [OC]: Just come and see it. ANGELO: It's not a school trip. Just tell me. CHRISTIAN [OC]: No, really. Come and see. (The snarling Angel pounces again.) [Entrance chamber] (Gunfire. The Doctor, River and Amy run back to the main group. A young Cleric has shot up a statue.) BOB: Sorry, sorry. I thought. I thought it looked at me. OCTAVIAN: We know what the Angel looks like. Is that the Angel? BOB: No, sir. OCTAVIAN: No, sir, it is not. According to the Doctor, we are facing an enemy of unknowable power and infinite evil, so it would be good, it would be very good, if we could all remain calm in the presence of decor. DOCTOR: What's your name? BOB: Bob, sir. DOCTOR: Ah, that's a great name. I love Bob. OCTAVIAN: It's a Sacred Name. We all have Sacred Names. They're given to us in the service of the Church. DOCTOR: Sacred Bob. More like Scared Bob now, eh? BOB: Yes, sir. DOCTOR: Ah, good. Scared keeps you fast. Anyone in this room who isn't scared is a moron. Carry on. OCTAVIAN: We'll be moving into the maze in two minutes. You stay with Christian and Angelo. Guard the approach. [Maze] AMY: Isn't there a chance this lot's just going to collapse? There's a whole ship up there. RIVER: Incredible builders, the Aplans. DOCTOR: Had dinner with their Chief Architect once. Two heads are better than one. AMY: What, you mean you helped him? DOCTOR: No, I mean he had two heads. That book, the very end, what did it say? RIVER: Hang on. DOCTOR: Read it to me. RIVER: What if we had ideas that could think for themselves? What if one day our dreams no longer needed us? When these things occur and are held to be true, the time will be upon us. The time of Angels. [Cave] BOB [OC]: Hey, Angelo, Christian, where are you? (The shadow of an Angel is standing over their bodies.) [Maze] AMY: Are we there yet? It's a hell of a climb. RIVER: The Maze is on six levels, representing the ascent of the soul. Only two levels to go. DOCTOR: Lovely species, the Aplans. We should visit them some time. AMY: I thought they were all dead? DOCTOR: So is Virginia Woolf. I'm on her bowling team. Very relaxed, sort of cheerful. Well, that's having two heads, of course. You're never short of a snog with an extra head. RIVER: Doctor, there's something. I don't know what it is. (Er, if the Aplans have two heads, why do all the statues just have one head?) DOCTOR: Yeah, there's something wrong. Don't know what it is yet, either. Working on it. Of course, then they started having laws against self-marrying. I mean, what was that about? But that's the Church for you. Er, no offence, Bishop. OCTAVIAN: Quite a lot taken, if that's all right, Doctor. Lowest point in the wreckage is only about fifty feet up from here. That way. AMY: The Church had a point, if you think about it. The divorces must have been messy. DOCTOR: Oh. AMY: What's wrong? RIVER: Oh. (The collective penny has finally dropped.) DOCTOR: Exactly. RIVER: How could we have not noticed that? DOCTOR: Low level perception filter, or maybe we're thick. OCTAVIAN: What's wrong, sir? DOCTOR: Nobody move. Nobody move. Everyone stay exactly where they are. Bishop, I am truly sorry. I've made a mistake and we are all in terrible danger. OCTAVIAN: What danger? RIVER: The Aplans. OCTAVIAN: The Aplans? RIVER: They've got two heads. OCTAVIAN: Yes, I get that. So? DOCTOR: So why don't the statues? Everyone, over there. Just move. Don't ask questions, don't speak. (They move into an alcove away from the statues.) DOCTOR: Okay, I want you all to switch off your torches. MARCO: Sir? DOCTOR: Just do it. Okay. I'm going to turn off this one too, just for a moment. RIVER: Are you sure about this? DOCTOR: No. (The light goes out then back in an instant.) AMY: Oh, my God. They've moved. (The Doctor runs down the passage, and it is filled statues coming towards them.) DOCTOR: They're Angels. All of them. RIVER: But they can't be. DOCTOR: Clerics, keep watching them. (He runs back to a vantage point of the main cavern. All the statues are climbing up towards them.) DOCTOR: Every statue in this Maze, every single one, is a Weeping Angel. They're coming after us. [Entrance chamber] ANGELO [OC]: Bob, come and see this. BOB: Angelo? ANGELO [OC]: Come and see what we've found. BOB: Are you with Christian? The Bishop said you'd be five minutes. ANGELO [OC]: I'm here, Bob. Come and see this. BOB: Where are you? ANGELO [OC]: Through the arch, Bob. Honestly, you've got to come and see this. BOB: What have you found? ANGELO [OC]: Come and see. BOB: No. What is it? ANGELO [OC]: Come and see. (Bob walks cautiously into the side chamber, and the Angel pounces.) [Maze] RIVER: But there was only one Angel on the ship. Just the one, I swear. AMY: Could they have been here already? DOCTOR: The Aplans. What happened? How did they die out? RIVER: Nobody knows. DOCTOR: We know. OCTAVIAN: They don't look like Angels. AMY: And they're not fast. You said they were fast. They should have had us by now. DOCTOR: Look at them. They're dying, losing their form. They must have been down here for centuries, starving. AMY: Losing their image? DOCTOR: And their image is their power. Power. Power! AMY: Doctor? DOCTOR: Don't you see? All that radiation spilling out the drive burn. The crash of the Byzantium wasn't an accident, it was a rescue mission for the Angels. We're in the middle of an army, and it's waking up. RIVER: We need to get out of here fast. OCTAVIAN: Bob, Angelo, Christian, come in, please. Any of you, come in. BOB [OC]: It's Bob, sir. Sorry, sir. OCTAVIAN: Bob, are Angelo and Christian with you? All the statues are active. I repeat, all the statues are active. BOB [OC]: I know, sir. Angelo and Christian are dead, sir. The statues killed them, sir. (The Doctor grabs Octavian's walkie-talkie.) DOCTOR: Bob, Sacred Bob, it's me, the Doctor. OCTAVIAN: I'm talking to DOCTOR: Where are you now? OCTAVIAN: I'm talking to my DOCTOR: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, shut up. BOB [OC]: I'm on my way up to you, sir. I'm homing in on your signal. DOCTOR: Ah, well done, Bob. Scared keeps you fast. Told you, didn't I. Your friends, Bob. What did the Angel do to them? BOB [OC]: Snapped their necks, sir. DOCTOR: That's odd. That's not how the Angels kill you. They displace you in time. Unless they needed the bodies for something. OCTAVIAN: Bob, did you check their data packs for vital signs? We may be able to initiate a rescue plan. DOCTOR: Oh, don't be an idiot. The Angels don't leave you alive. Bob, keep running. But tell me, how did you escape? BOB [OC]: I didn't escape, sir. The Angel killed me, too. DOCTOR: What do you mean, the Angel killed you? BOB [OC]: Snapped my neck, sir. Wasn't as painless as I expected, but it was pretty quick, so that was something. DOCTOR: If you're dead, how can I be talking to you? BOB [OC]: You're not talking to me, sir. The Angel has no voice. It stripped my cerebral cortex from my body and re-animated a version of my consciousness to communicate with you. Sorry about the confusion. DOCTOR: So when you say you're on your way up to us BOB [OC]: It's the Angel that's coming, sir, yes. No way out. OCTAVIAN: Then we get out through the wreckage. Go! Go, go, go. All of you run. AMY: Doctor. DOCTOR: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm coming. Just go. Go, go, go. Yeah. Called you an idiot. Sorry, but there's no way we could have rescued your men. OCTAVIAN: I know that, sir. And when you've flown away in your little blue box, I'll explain that to their families. DOCTOR: Angel Bob. Which Angel am I talking to? The one from the ship? BOB [OC]: Yes, sir. And the other Angels are still restoring. DOCTOR: Ah, so the Angel is not in the wreckage. Thank you. (The Doctor runs past Amy.) DOCTOR: Don't wait for me. Go, run. AMY: I can't. No, really, I can't. DOCTOR: Why not? AMY: Look at it. Look at my hand. It's stone. (Memories of her role as the Soothsayer in Fires of Pompeii.) [Tunnel] (Sounds of metal creaking.) OCTAVIAN: Well. There it is, the Byzantium. RIVER: It's got to be thirty feet. How do we get up there? OCTAVIAN: Check all these exits. I want them all secure. [Maze] DOCTOR: You looked into the eyes of an Angel, didn't you? AMY: I couldn't stop myself. I tried. DOCTOR: Listen to me. It's messing with your head. Your hand is not made of stone. AMY: It is. Look at it. DOCTOR: It's in your mind, I promise you. You can move that hand. You can let go. AMY: I can't, okay? I've tried and I can't. It's stone. DOCTOR: The Angel is going to come and it's going to turn this light off, and then there's nothing I can do to stop it, so do it. Concentrate. Move your hand. AMY: I can't. DOCTOR: Then we're both going to die. AMY: You're not going to die. DOCTOR: They'll kill the lights. AMY: You've got to go. You know you have. You've got all that stuff with River and that's all got to happen. You know you can't die here. DOCTOR: Time can be re-written. It doesn't work like that. (The statues arrive.) DOCTOR: Keep your eyes on it. Don't blink. AMY: Run! DOCTOR: You see, I'm not going. I'm not leaving you here. AMY: I don't need you to die for me, Doctor. Do I look that clingy? DOCTOR: You can move your hand. AMY: It's stone. DOCTOR: It's not stone. AMY: You've got to go. Those people up there will die without you. If you stay here with me, you'll have as good as killed them. DOCTOR: Amy Pond, you are magnificent, and I'm sorry. "AMY; It's okay. I understand. You've got to leave me." DOCTOR: Oh, no, I'm not leaving you, never. I'm sorry about this. (He bites her hand.) AMY: Ow! DOCTOR: See? Not stone. Now run. AMY: You bit me. DOCTOR: Yeah, and you're alive. AMY: Look, I've got a mark. Look at my hand. DOCTOR: Yes, and you're alive. Did I mention? AMY: Blimey, your teeth. Have you got space teeth? DOCTOR: Yeah. Alive. All I'm saying. [Tunnel] MARCO: The statues are advancing along all corridors. And, sir, my torch keeps flickering. OCTAVIAN: They all do. RIVER: So does the gravity globe. OCTAVIAN: Clerics, we're down to four men. Expect incoming. DOCTOR: Yeah, it's the Angels. They're coming. And they're draining the power for themselves. OCTAVIAN: Which means we won't be able to see them. DOCTOR: Which means we can't stay here. OCTAVIAN: Two more incoming. RIVER: Any suggestions? OCTAVIAN: The statues are advancing on all sides. We don't have the climbing equipment to reach the Byzantium. RIVER: There's no way up, no way back, no way out. No pressure, but this is usually when you have a really good idea. DOCTOR: There's always a way out. ECHO: There's always a way out. There's always a way out. DOCTOR: There's always a way out. BOB [OC]: Doctor? Can I speak to the Doctor, please? DOCTOR: Hello, Angels. What's your problem? BOB [OC]: Your power will not last much longer, and the Angels will be with you shortly. Sorry, sir. DOCTOR: Why are you telling me this? BOB [OC]: There's something the Angels are very keen you should know before the end. DOCTOR: Which is? BOB [OC]: I died in fear. DOCTOR: I'm sorry? BOB [OC]: You told me my fear would keep me alive, but I died afraid, in pain and alone. You made me trust you, and when it mattered, you let me down. AMY: What are they doing? RIVER: They're trying to make him angry. BOB [OC]: I'm sorry, sir. The Angels were very keen for you to know that. DOCTOR: Well then, the Angels have made their second mistake because I'm not going to let that pass. I'm sorry you're dead, Bob, but I swear to whatever is left of you, they will be sorrier. BOB [OC]: But you're trapped, sir, and about to die. DOCTOR: Yeah. I'm trapped. And you know what? Speaking of traps, this trap has got a great big mistake in it. A great big, whopping mistake. BOB [OC]: What mistake, sir? DOCTOR: Trust me. AMY: Yeah. DOCTOR: Trust me? RIVER: Always. DOCTOR: You lot, trust me? MARCO: Sir, two more incoming. OCTAVIAN: We have faith, sir. DOCTOR: Then give me your gun. I'm about to do something incredibly stupid and dangerous. When I do, jump! OCTAVIAN: Jump where? DOCTOR: Just jump, high as you can. Come on, leap of faith, Bishop. On my signal. OCTAVIAN: What signal? DOCTOR: You won't miss it. BOB [OC]: Sorry, can I ask again? You mentioned a mistake we made. (The Doctor points the gun at the hull of the Byzantium.) DOCTOR: Oh, big mistake. Huge. Didn't anyone every tell you there's one thing you never put in a trap? If you're smart, if you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there is one thing you never, ever put in a trap. BOB [OC]: And what would that be, sir? DOCTOR: Me. [Tunnel] DOCTOR: Up. Look up. (Everyone struggles to their feet on an artificial surface, although the tunnel walls are the same.) RIVER: Are you okay? AMY: What happened? RIVER: We jumped. AMY: Jumped where? DOCTOR: Up. Up. Look up. AMY: Where are we? RIVER: Exactly where we were. AMY: No we're not. DOCTOR: Move your feet. (The Doctor sonicks a circular hatch in the floor, with six inset lights around it.) AMY: Doctor, what am I looking at? Explain. DOCTOR: Oh, come on, Amy, think. The ship crashed with the power still on, yeah? So what else is still on? (The camera moves out and rotates through 180 degrees. Our gallant heroes are standing upside down on the hull of the Byzantium.) DOCTOR: The artificial gravity. One good jump, and up we fell. Shot out the grav globe to give us an updraft, and here we are. OCTAVIAN: Doctor, the statues. They look more like Angels now. DOCTOR: They're feeding on the radiation from the wreckage, draining all the power from the ship, restoring themselves. Within an hour, they'll be an army. (The circular hatch opens. A light goes bang.) DOCTOR: They're taking out the lights. Look at them. Look at the Angels. Into the ship, now. Quickly, all of you. AMY: How? (The Doctor drops through the open hatch into a circular corridor. From Amy's point of view, he is standing on the side of a vertical tube.) AMY: Doctor! DOCTOR: It's just a corridor. The gravity orientates to the floor. Now, in here, all of you. Don't take your eyes off the Angels. Move, move, move. [Corridor] OCTAVIAN [OC]: Okay, men. Go, go, go! (The Doctor works on a control panel.) OCTAVIAN: The Angels. Presumably they can jump up too? (The hatch closes.) DOCTOR: They're here, now. In the dark, we're finished. (A bulkhead further along the corridor starts to close.) DOCTOR: Run! OCTAVIAN: This whole place is a death trap. (They don't make it.) DOCTOR: No, it's a time bomb. Well, it's a death trap and a time bomb. And now it's a dead end. Nobody panic. Oh, just me then. What's through here? RIVER: Secondary flight deck. AMY: Okay. so we've basically run up the inside of a chimney, yeah? So what if the gravity fails? DOCTOR: I've thought about that. AMY: And? DOCTOR: And we'll all plunge to our deaths. See? I've thought about it. The security protocols are still live. There's no way to override them. It's impossible. (River is working.) RIVER: How impossible? DOCTOR: Two minutes. (The outer hatch is open.) OCTAVIAN: The hull is breached and the power's failing. (The lights go out. An arm is silhouetted against the open hatch.) MARCO: Sir, incoming. AMY: Doctor? Lights. (The Angel is starting to enter. Another flicker, and four are inside and the hatch is closed behind them.) OCTAVIAN: Clerics, keep watching them. DOCTOR: And don't look at their eyes. Anywhere else. Not the eyes. I've isolated the lighting grid. They can't drain the power now. OCTAVIAN: Good work, Doctor. DOCTOR: Yes. Good, good, good. Good in many ways. Good you like it so far. AMY: So far? DOCTOR: Well, there's only one way to open this door. I guess I'll need to route all the power in this section through the door control. OCTAVIAN: Good. Fine. Do it. DOCTOR: Including the lights. All of them. I'll need to turn out the lights. OCTAVIAN: How long for? DOCTOR: Fraction of a second. Maybe longer. Maybe quite a bit longer. OCTAVIAN: Maybe? DOCTOR: I'm guessing. We're being attacked by statues in a crashed ship. There isn't a manual for this. AMY: Doctor, we lost the torches. We'll be in total darkness. DOCTOR: No other way. Bishop. OCTAVIAN: Doctor Song, I've lost good Clerics today. You trust this man? RIVER: I absolutely trust him. OCTAVIAN: He's not some kind of madman, then? RIVER: I absolutely trust him. DOCTOR: Excuse me. OCTAVIAN: (sotto) I'm taking your word, because you're the only one who can manage this guy. But that only works so long as he doesn't know who you are. You cost me any more men, and I might just tell him. Understood? RIVER: Understood. OCTAVIAN: Okay, Doctor. We've got your back. DOCTOR: Bless you. Bishop. OCTAVIAN: Combat distance, ten feet. As soon as the lights go down, continuous fire. Full spread over the hostiles. Do not stop firing while the lights are out. Shot gun protocol. We don't have bullets to waste. DOCTOR: Amy, when the lights go down, the wheel should release. Spin it clockwise four turns. AMY: Ten. DOCTOR: No, four. Four turns. AMY: Yeah, four. I heard you. DOCTOR: Ready! (He plunges his sonic screwdriver into a control unit.) OCTAVIAN: On my count, then. God be with us all. Three, two, one, fire! (The lights go out, the Clerics start shooting at the approaching Angels.) DOCTOR: Turn! AMY: Doctor, it's opening. It's working. (They get the bulkhead open just enough to squeeze through.) DOCTOR: Fall back! (The Doctor is last through the bulkhead. It clangs shut again. They run along a short corridor and into) [Secondary Flight Deck] RIVER: Doctor, quickly. AMY: Doctor! (The Doctor dodges inside at the last second, as the door closes, and runs to the controls. The Angels thump on the door and the wheel starts turning.) AMY: Doctor! What are you doing? (Octavian has placed a device on the door. The wheel stops turning.) OCTAVIAN: Magnetized the door. Nothing could turn that wheel now. DOCTOR: Yeah? (The wheel turns.) OCTAVIAN: Dear God! DOCTOR: Ah, now you're getting it. You've bought us time though. That's good. I am good with time. AMY: Doctor. (The wheel on a second door to the right of the main one starts to turn.) OCTAVIAN: Seal that door. Seal it now. (Marco obeys.) RIVER: We're surrounded. (And now the door to the left.) OCTAVIAN: Seal it. Seal that door. Doctor, how long have we got? DOCTOR: Five minutes, max. AMY: Nine. DOCTOR: Five. AMY: Five. Right. Yeah. DOCTOR: Why'd you say nine? AMY: I didn't. RIVER: We need another way out of here. OCTAVIAN: There isn't one. DOCTOR: Yeah, there is. Course there is. This is a galaxy class ship. Goes for years between planet falls. So, what do they need? RIVER: Of course. AMY: Of course what? What do they need? OCTAVIAN: Can we get in there? DOCTOR: Well, it's a sealed unit, but they must have installed it somehow. This whole wall should slide up. There's clamps. Release the clamps. AMY: What's through there? What do they need? RIVER: They need to breathe. (The rear wall of the flight deck slides up to reveal -) AMY: But that's. That's a. RIVER: It's an oxygen factory. AMY: It's a forest. RIVER: Yeah, it's a forest. It's an oxygen factory. DOCTOR: And if we're lucky, an escape route. AMY: Eight. RIVER: What did you say? AMY: Nothing. DOCTOR: Is there another exit? Scan the architecture, we don't have time to get lost in there. OCTAVIAN: On it. Stay where you are until I've checked the Rad levels. AMY: But trees, on a space ship? DOCTOR: Oh, more than trees. Way better than trees. You're going to love this. Treeborgs. Trees plus technology. Branches become cables become sensors on the hull. A forest sucking in starlight, breathing out air. It even rains. There's a whole mini-climate. This vault is an ecopod running right through the heart of the ship. A forest in a bottle on a space ship in a maze. Have I impressed you yet, Amy Pond? AMY: Seven. DOCTOR: Seven? AMY: Sorry, what? DOCTOR: You said seven. AMY: No. I didn't. RIVER: Yes. you did. OCTAVIAN: Doctor, there's an exit, far end of the ship, into the Primary Flight Deck. DOCTOR: Oh, good. That's where we need to go. OCTAVIAN: Plotting a safe path now. DOCTOR: Quick as you like. BOB [OC]: Doctor? Excuse me? Hello, Doctor? Angel Bob here, sir. DOCTOR: Ah. There you are, Angel Bob. How's life? Sorry, bad subject. BOB [OC]: The Angels are wondering what you hope to achieve. DOCTOR: Achieve? We're not achieving anything. We're just hanging. It's nice in here. Consoles, comfy chairs, a forest. How's things with you? BOB [OC]: The Angels are feasting, sir. Soon we will be able to absorb enough power to consume this vessel, this world. and all the stars and worlds beyond. DOCTOR: Well, we've got comfy chairs. Did I mention? BOB [OC]: We have no need of comfy chairs. DOCTOR: I made him say comfy chairs. AMY: Six. DOCTOR: Okay, Bob, enough chat. Here's what I want to know. What have you done to Amy? BOB [OC]: There is something in her eye. DOCTOR: What's in her eye? BOB [OC]: We are. AMY: What's he talking about? Doctor, I'm five. I mean, five. Fine! I'm fine. RIVER: You're counting. AMY: Counting? "DOCTOR; You're counting down from ten. You have been for a couple of minutes." AMY: Why? DOCTOR: I don't know. AMY: Well, counting down to what? DOCTOR: I don't know. BOB [OC]: We shall take her. We shall take all of you. We shall have dominion over all time and space. DOCTOR: Get a life, Bob. Oops, sorry again. There's power on this ship, but nowhere near that much. BOB [OC]: With respect, sir, there's more power on this ship than you yet understand. (There is a screeching sound.) RIVER: What's that? Dear God, what is it? OCTAVIAN: They're back. BOB [OC]: It's hard to put in your terms, Doctor Song, but as best I understand it, the Angels are laughing. DOCTOR: Laughing? BOB [OC]: Because you haven't noticed yet, sir. The Doctor in the Tardis hasn't noticed. OCTAVIAN: Doctor. DOCTOR: No. Wait. There's something I've missed. (A steaming W crack in the bulkhead above the entrance, and it is widening.) AMY: That's, that's, that's like the crack from my bedroom wall from when I was a little girl. DOCTOR: Yes. Two parts of space and time that should never have touched. OCTAVIAN: Okay, enough. We're moving out. RIVER: Agreed. Doctor? DOCTOR: Yeah, fine. RIVER: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Right with you. (He scans the crack.) RIVER: We're not leaving without you. DOCTOR: Oh yes, you are. Bishop? OCTAVIAN: Miss Pond, Doctor Song, now! AMY: Doctor? RIVER: Come on! DOCTOR: So, what are you? Oh, that's bad. Ah, that's extremely very not good. (He turns around to find himself surrounded by Angels.) DOCTOR: Do not blink. (One grabs the back of his jacket collar.) DOCTOR: Argh! [Forest] RIVER: Amy? Amy, what's wrong? [Secondary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: Why am I not dead then? (The Angels are reaching towards the crack.) DOCTOR: Good, and not so good. Oh, this isn't even a little bit good. I mean, is that it? Is that the power that brought you here? That's pure Time Energy. You can't feed on that. That's now power, that's the fire at the end of the universe. I'll tell you something else. (Bang! The Doctor runs into the forest without his jacket.) DOCTOR: Never let me talk! [Forest] RIVER: Amy, what's wrong? AMY: Four. (Amy sways and sits down, then lies on the mossy tree trunk.) RIVER: Med scanner, now. OCTAVIAN: Doctor Song, we can't stay here. We've got to keep moving. RIVER: We wait for the Doctor. OCTAVIAN: Our mission is to make this wreckage safe and neutralise the Angels. Until that is achieved RIVER: Father Octavian, when the Doctor's in the room, your one and only mission is to keep him alive long enough to get everyone else home. And trust me, it's not easy. Now, if he's dead back there, I'll never forgive myself. And if he's alive, I'll never forgive him. And, Doctor, you're standing right behind me, aren't you? DOCTOR: Oh, yeah. RIVER: I hate you. DOCTOR: You don't. Bishop, the Angels are in the forest. OCTAVIAN: We need visual contact on every line of approach. RIVER: How did you get past them? DOCTOR: I found a crack in the wall and told them it was the end of the universe. AMY: What was it? DOCTOR: The end of the universe. Let's have a look, then. AMY: So, what's wrong with me? RIVER: Nothing. You're fine. DOCTOR: Everything. You're dying. RIVER: Doctor! DOCTOR: Yes, you're right. If we lie to her, she'll get all better. Right. Amy, Amy, Amy. What's the matter with Amelia? Something's in her eye. What does that mean? Does it mean anything? AMY: Doctor. DOCTOR: Busy. AMY: Scared. DOCTOR: Course you're scared. You're dying. Shut up. RIVER: Okay, let him think. DOCTOR: What happened? She stared at the Angel. She looked into the eyes of an Angel for too long MARCO: Sir! Angel incoming. PHILLIP: And here. OCTAVIAN: Keep visual contact. Do not let it move. DOCTOR: Come on, come on, come on. Wakey, wakey. She watched an Angel climb out of the screen. She stared at the Angel and, and AMY: The image of an Angel is an Angel. DOCTOR: A living mental image in a living human mind. But we stare at them to stop them getting closer. We don't even blink, and that is exactly what they want. Because as long as our eyes are open, they can climb inside. There's an Angel in her mind. (The face of an Angel is visible in Amy's pupil.) AMY: Three. Doctor, it's coming. I can feel it. I'm going to die. DOCTOR: Please just shut up. I'm thinking. Now, counting. What's that about? Bob, why are they making her count? BOB [OC]: To make her afraid, sir. DOCTOR: Okay, but why? What for? BOB [OC]: For fun, sir. (The Doctor throws the communicator away in annoyance.) AMY: Doctor, what's happening to me? Explain. DOCTOR: Inside your head, in the vision centres of your brain, there's an Angel. It's like there's a screen, a virtual screen inside your mind and the Angel is climbing out of it, and it's coming to shut you off. AMY: Then what I do? DOCTOR: If it was a real screen, what would we do? We'd pull the plug. We'd kill the power. But we can't just knock her out, the Angel would just take over. RIVER: Then what? Quickly. DOCTOR: We've got to shut down the vision centres of her brain. We've got to pull the plug. Starve the Angel. RIVER: Doctor, she's got seconds. DOCTOR: How would you starve your lungs? RIVER: I'd stop breathing. DOCTOR: Amy, close your eyes. AMY: No. No, I don't want to. DOCTOR: Good, because that's not you, that's the Angel inside you. It's afraid. Do it. Close your eyes. (Amy squeezes her eyes shut. The med scanner changes from red to green.) RIVER: She's normalising. Oh, you did it. You did it. PHILLIP: Sir? Two more incoming. PEDRO: Three more over here. RIVER: Still weak. Dangerous to move her. AMY: So, can I open my eyes now? DOCTOR: Amy, listen to me. If you open your eyes now for more than a second, you will die. The Angel is still inside you. We haven't stopped it, we've just sort of paused it. You've used up your countdown. You cannot open your eyes. OCTAVIAN: Doctor, we're too exposed here. We have to move on. DOCTOR: We're too exposed everywhere. And Amy can't move. And anyway, that's not the plan. RIVER: There's a plan? DOCTOR: I don't know yet. I haven't finished talking. Right! Father, you and your Clerics, you're going to stay here, look after Amy. If anything happens to her, I'll hold every single one of you personally responsible, twice. River, you and me, we're going to find the Primary Flight Deck which is (He wets a finger and holds it up.) DOCTOR: A quarter of a mile straight ahead, and from there we're going to stabilise the wreckage, stop the Angels, and cure Amy. RIVER: How? DOCTOR: I'll do a thing. RIVER: What thing? DOCTOR: I don't know. It's a thing in progress. Respect the thing. Moving out! OCTAVIAN: Doctor, I'm coming with you. My Clerics'll look after Miss Pond. These are my best men. They'd lay down their lives in her protection. DOCTOR: I don't need you. OCTAVIAN: I don't care. Where Doctor Song goes, I go. DOCTOR: What? You two engaged or something? OCTAVIAN: Yes, in a manner of speaking. Marco, you're in charge till I get back. MARCO: Sir. AMY: Doctor? Please, can't I come with you? OCTAVIAN: You'd slow us down, Miss Pond. AMY: I don't want to sound selfish, but you'd really speed me up. DOCTOR: You'll be safer here. We can't protect you on the move. I'll be back for you soon as I can, I promise. AMY: You always say that. DOCTOR: I always come back. Good luck, everyone. Behave. Do not let that girl open her eyes. And keep watching the forest. Stop those Angels advancing. Amy, later. River, going to need your computer! AMY: Yeah. Later. DOCTOR: Amy, you need to start trusting me. It's never been more important. AMY: But you don't always tell me the truth. DOCTOR: If I always told you the truth, I wouldn't need you to trust me. AMY: Doctor, the crack in my wall. How can it be here? DOCTOR: I don't know yet, but I'm working it out. Now, listen. Remember what I told you when you were seven? AMY: What did you tell me? DOCTOR: No. No, that's not the point. You have to remember. AMY: Remember what? Doctor? Doctor? (The Doctor catches up with Octavian and River, and inputs the readings from his sonic screwdriver into her mini-computer.) RIVER: What's that? DOCTOR: Er, readings from a crack in the wall. RIVER: How can a crack in the wall be the end of the universe? DOCTOR: Don't know, but here's what I think. One day there's going to be a very big bang. So big every moment in history, past and future, will crack. RIVER: Is that possible? How? DOCTOR: How can you be engaged, in a manner of speaking? RIVER: Well, sucker for a man in uniform. OCTAVIAN: Doctor Song's in my personal custody. I released her from the Stormcage Containment Facility four days ago and I am legally responsible for her until she's accomplished her mission and earned her pardon. Just so we understand each other. DOCTOR: You were in Stormcage? (The computer chirps.) RIVER: What? What is that? DOCTOR: The date. The date of the explosion, where the crack begins. RIVER: And for those of us who can't read the base code of the universe? (26 06 2010) DOCTOR: Amy's time. (Back at the mossy log.) AMY: So, what's happening? Anything happening out there? (The Angels push their hands into the Treeborgs, and the light starts to flicker.) MARCO: The Angels are still grouping. Are you getting this too? PHILLIP: The trees? Yeah. AMY: What's wrong with the trees? PEDRO: Here too, sir. They're ripping the Treeborgs apart. PHILLIP: And here. They're taking out the lights. AMY: What is it? What's happening? Tell me. I can't see. MARCO: It's the trees. ma'am. The trees are going out. [Outside the Primary Flight Deck] OCTAVIAN: It doesn't open it from here, but it's the Primary Flight Deck. This has got to be a service hatch or something. RIVER: Hurry up and open it. Time's running out. DOCTOR: What? What did you say? Time's running out, is that what you said? RIVER: Yeah. I just meant DOCTOR: I know what you meant. Hush. But what if it could? RIVER: What if what could? DOCTOR: Time. What if time could run out? OCTAVIAN: Got it. [Forest] PHILLIP: Angels advancing, sir. PEDRO: Over here again. MARCO: Weapons primed. Combat distance five feet. Wait for it. AMY: What is it? What's happening? Just tell me! MARCO: Keep your position and, ma'am, keep your eyes shut. Wait. (A bright light floods through the forest.) MARCO: The ship's not on fire. is it? PEDRO: It can't be. the compressors would have taken care of it. Marco, the Angels have gone. Where'd they go? AMY: What, the Angels? PHILLIP: This side's clear too, sir. AMY: The Angels have gone? MARCO: There's still movement out there, but away from us now. It's like they're running. AMY: Running from what? MARCO: Phillip, Crispin, need to get a closer look at that. AMY: What are you all looking at? What's there? [Outside the Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: Cracks. Cracks in time. Time running out. No, couldn't be. Couldn't be. But how is a duck pond a duck pond if there aren't any ducks? And she didn't recognise the Daleks. Okay, time can shift. Time can change. Time can be rewritten. Ah. Oh! [Forest] MARCO: It's like, I don't know, a curtain of energy, sort of shifting. Makes you feel weird. Sick. AMY: And you think it scared the Angels? PEDRO: What could scare those things? MARCO: What are you doing? AMY: Point me at the light. MARCO: You can't open your eyes. AMY: I can't open them for more than a second, that's what the Doctor said. Still got a bit of countdown left. MARCO: Ma'am. you can't. AMY: I need to see it. Am I looking the right way? I have to be quick. MARCO: Very quick. (Marco points her at the light.) AMY: Okay. (Amy opens her eyes.) AMY: It's the same shape. It's the crack in my wall. MARCO: Close your eyes, now. AMY: It's following me! How can it be following me? (Amy falls to her knees and Marco puts his hand over her eyes.) MARCO: Are you okay? AMY: Yeah. It was the same shape. PEDRO: Marco, you want me to get a closer look at that? MARCO: Go for it. Don't get too close. AMY: Hang on. What about the other two? Why not just wait until they're back? MARCO: What other two? AMY: The ones you sent before. MARCO: I didn't send anyone before. AMY: You did, I heard you. Crispin and Phillip. MARCO: Crispin and who? [Outside the Primary Flight Deck] OCTAVIAN: Doctor Song, get through, now. Doctor? Doctor. DOCTOR: Time can be unwritten. [Forest] MARCO: Amy, there never was a Crispin or a Phillip on this mission, I promise you. AMY: No, I heard you. Before you sent Pedro, you sent Crispin and Phillip, and now you can't even remember them. Something happened. I don't know what, and you don't even remember. MARCO: Pedro? AMY: Yeah, before you sent Pedro. MARCO: Who's Pedro? [Outside the Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: It's been happening all around me and I haven't even noticed. OCTAVIAN: Doctor, we have to move. DOCTOR: The CyberKing. A giant Cyberman walks over all of Victorian London and no one remembers. OCTAVIAN: We have to move it. The Angels could be here any second. DOCTOR: Never mind the Angels. There's worse here than Angels. (An Angel gets its arm around Octavian's throat.) OCTAVIAN: I beg to differ, sir. DOCTOR: Let him go. OCTAVIAN: Well, it can't let me go, sir, can it? Not while you're looking at it. DOCTOR: I can't stop looking at it, it'll kill you. OCTAVIAN: It's going to kill me anyway. Think it through. There's no way out of this. You have to leave me. DOCTOR: Can't you wriggle out? OCTAVIAN: No, it's too tight. You have to leave me, sir. There's nothing you can do. [Forest] AMY: Something's happening. Pedro was here a second ago and now you can't even remember him. MARCO: There never was a Pedro. There's only ever been the two of us here. AMY: No, there were five of us. Why can't you remember? MARCO: Listen. Listen. I need to get a closer look at that light, whatever it is. Don't worry, I won't get too close. AMY: No. No, you can't. You mustn't. MARCO: Here. Spare communicator. I'll stay in touch the whole time. AMY: You won't, because if you go back there what happened to the others will happen to you. MARCO: There weren't any others. AMY: There won't be any you if you go back there. MARCO: Two minutes. I promise. AMY: Please, just listen to me! [Outside the Primary Flight Deck] OCTAVIAN: Sir, there's nothing you can do. DOCTOR: You're dead if I leave you. OCTAVIAN: Yes. Yes, I'm dead. And before you go DOCTOR: I'm not going. OCTAVIAN: Listen to me, it's important. You can't trust her. DOCTOR: Trust who? OCTAVIAN: River Song. You think you know her, but you don't. You don't understand who or what she is. DOCTOR: Then tell me. OCTAVIAN: I've told you more than I should. Now please, you have to go. It's your duty to your friends. DOCTOR: Just tell me why she was in Stormcage? OCTAVIAN: She killed a man. A good man. A hero to many. DOCTOR: Who? OCTAVIAN: You don't want to know, sir. You really don't. DOCTOR: Who did she kill? OCTAVIAN: Sir, the Angels are coming. You have to leave me. DOCTOR: You'll die. OCTAVIAN: I will die in the knowledge that my courage did not desert me at the end. For that I thank God, and bless the path that takes you to safety. DOCTOR: I wish I'd known you better. OCTAVIAN: I think, sir, you know me at my best. DOCTOR: Ready? OCTAVIAN: Content. (The Doctor dives through the hatch and closes it.) [Primary Flight Deck] RIVER: There's a teleport. If I can get it to work. we can beam the others here. Where's Octavian? DOCTOR: Octavian's dead. So is that teleport. You're wasting your time. I'm going to need your communicator. [Forest] (Amy uses the communicator.) AMY: Hello? Are you there? Hello? Hello?  MARCO [OC]: I'm here. I'm fine. Quite close to it now. AMY: Then come back. Come back now, please. MARCO [OC]: It's weird looking at it. It feels really AMY: Really what? Hello? Really what? Hello? Hello? Hello? Please say you're there. Hello? Hello? DOCTOR [OC]: Amy? Amy? Is that you? [Primary Flight Deck] AMY [OC]: Doctor? DOCTOR: Where are you? Are the Clerics with you? AMY [OC]: They've gone. [Forest] AMY: There was a light and they walked into the light. Doctor, they didn't even remember each other. [Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: No, they wouldn't. RIVER: What is that light? DOCTOR: Time running out. Amy, I'm sorry, I made a mistake. I should never have left you there. [Forest] AMY: Well, what do I do now? [Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: You come to us. The Primary Flight Deck, the other end of the forest. [Forest] AMY: I can't see. I can't open my eyes. [Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: Turn on the spot. AMY [OC]: Sorry, what? DOCTOR: Just do it. Turn on the spot. [Forest] DOCTOR [OC]: When the communicator sounds like my screwdriver, that means you're facing the right way. Follow the sound. You have to start moving now. There's Time Energy [Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: Spilling out of that crack, and you have to stay ahead of it. [Forest] AMY: But the Angels, they're everywhere. [Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: I'm sorry, I really am, but the Angels can only kill you. [Forest] AMY: What does the Time Energy do? [Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: Just keep moving! [Forest] AMY: Tell me. [Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: If the Time Energy catches up with you, you'll never have been born. It will erase every moment [Forest] DOCTOR [OC]: Of your existence. You will never have lived at all. [Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: Now, keep your eyes shut and keep moving. RIVER: It's never going to work. DOCTOR: What else have you got! River! Tell me! (As Amy makes her way slowly across the uneven forest floor, there is a clanging sound in the ship.) RIVER: What's that? DOCTOR: The Angels running from the fire. They came here to feed on the Time Energy, now it's going to feed on them. Amy, listen to me. [Forest] DOCTOR [OC]: I'm sending a bit of software to your communicator. It's a proximity detector. it'll beep if there's something in your way. You just manoeuvre till the beeping stops. [Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: Because, Amy, this is important. [Forest] DOCTOR [OC]: The forest is full of Angels. [Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: You're going to have to walk like you can see. [Forest] AMY: Well, what do you mean? DOCTOR [OC]: Look, just keep moving. [Primary Flight Deck] RIVER: That Time Energy, what's it going to do? DOCTOR: Er, keep eating. RIVER: How do we stop it? DOCTOR: Feed it. RIVER: Feed it what? DOCTOR: A big, complicated space time event should shut it up for a while. RIVER: Like what, for instance? DOCTOR: Like me, for instance! [Forest] (The communicator beeps.) AMY: What's that? [Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: It's a warning. There are Angels round you now. [Forest] DOCTOR [OC]: Amy, listen to me. This is going to be hard but I know [Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: You can do it. The Angels are scared [Forest] DOCTOR [OC]: And running, and right now they're not that interested in you. They'll assume you can see them and their instincts will kick in. All you've got to do is walk like you can see. [Primary Flight Deck] DOCTOR: Just don't open your eyes. Walk like you can see. You're not moving. You have to do this. Now. You have to do this! [Forest] (Amy threads her way through the group of Angels, then trips over a half-buried tree root. She drops the communicator.) AMY: Doctor? I can't find the communicator. I dropped it. I can't find it, Doctor. Doctor. (An Angel turns its head towards her.) AMY: Doctor. Doctor! (Then another one turns, and another.) AMY: Doctor. (Amy gets to her feet just as an Angel reaches for her throat. There is a flash of light.) [Primary Flight Deck] (River grabs Amy.) RIVER: Don't open your eyes. You're on the Flight Deck. The Doctor's here. I teleported you. See? Told you I could get it working. DOCTOR: River Song, I could bloody kiss you. RIVER: Ah well, maybe when you're older. (An alarm blares.) RIVER: What's that? DOCTOR: The Angels are draining the last of the ship's power, which means the shield's going to release. (The bulkhead into the forest rises to reveal an array of Angels.) DOCTOR: Angel Bob, I presume. BOB [OC]: The Time Field is coming. It will destroy our reality. DOCTOR: Yeah, and look at you all, running away. What can I do for you? BOB [OC]: There is a rupture in time. The Angels calculate that if you throw yourself into it, it will close, and they will be saved. DOCTOR: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could do, could do that. But why? BOB [OC]: Your friends will also be saved. DOCTOR: Well, there is that. RIVER: I've travelled in time. I'm a complicated space time event too. Throw me in. DOCTOR: Oh, be serious. Compared to me, these Angels are more complicated than you, and it would take every one of them to amount to me, so get a grip. RIVER: Doctor, I can't let you do this. DOCTOR: No, seriously, get a grip. RIVER: You're not going to die here! DOCTOR: No, I mean it. River, Amy, get a grip. RIVER: Oh, you genius. BOB [OC]: Sir, the Angels need you to sacrifice yourself now. DOCTOR: Thing is, Bob, the Angels are draining all the power from this ship. Every last bit of it. And you know what? I think they've forgotten where they're standing. I think they've forgotten the gravity of the situation. Or to put it another way, Angels. (A monitor says Gravity Failing. River puts Amy's hand on the handles of a console module.) RIVER: (to Amy) You hold on tight and don't you let go for anything. DOCTOR: Night, night. (Gravity Failed. Feet leave the floor. The spaceship tilts and the Angels fall backwards through the Forest. They disappear into the crack, which then closes.) [Beach] (Amy is wrapped in a blanket. The Tardis is nearby.) AMY: Ah. Bruised everywhere. DOCTOR: Me too. AMY: You didn't have to climb out with your eyes shut. DOCTOR: Neither did you. I kept saying. The Angels all fell into the Time Field. The Angel in your memory never existed. It can't harm you now. AMY: Then why do I remember it at all? Those guys on the ship didn't remember each other. DOCTOR: You're a time traveller now. Amy. It changes the way you see the universe, forever. Good, isn't it? AMY: And the crack, is that gone too? DOCTOR: Yeah, for now. But the explosion that caused it is still happening. Somewhere out there, somewhere in time. (The Clerics are also back. The Doctor goes over to River.) RIVER: You, me, handcuffs. Must it always end this way? (River is in a pair of high-tech cuffs that beep.) DOCTOR: What now? RIVER: The prison ship's in orbit. They'll beam me up any second. I might have done enough to earn a pardon this time. We'll see. DOCTOR: Octavian said you killed a man. RIVER: Yes, I did. DOCTOR: A good man. RIVER: A very good man. The best man I've ever known. DOCTOR: Who? RIVER: It's a long story. Doctor. It can't be told, it has to be lived. No sneak previews. Well, except for this one. You'll see me again quite soon, when the Pandorica opens. DOCTOR: The Pandorica. Ha! That's a fairy tale. RIVER: Doctor, aren't we all? I'll see you there. DOCTOR: I look forward to it. RIVER: I remember it well. AMY: Bye, River. RIVER: See you, Amy. Oh, I think that's my ride. DOCTOR: Can I trust you. River Song? RIVER: If you like. Ha, but where's the fun in that? (River is beamed away in a whirl of sand.) AMY: What are you thinking? DOCTOR: Time can be rewritten. [Tardis] AMY: I want to go home. DOCTOR: Okay. AMY: No, not like that. I just, I just want to show you something. You're running from River. I'm running too. [Amy's bedroom] (The Tardis has squeezed itself in by the door. The bridal gown is still hanging on the open wardrobe door.) DOCTOR: Well. AMY: Yeah. DOCTOR: Blimey. AMY: I know. This is the same night we left, yeah? DOCTOR: We've been gone five minutes. (She picks up a ring box and opens it.) AMY: I'm getting married in the morning. DOCTOR: Why did you leave it here? AMY: Why did I leave my engagement ring when I ran away with a strange man the night before my wedding? DOCTOR: Yeah. AMY: Hmm. You really are an alien, aren't you. DOCTOR: Who's the lucky fellow? AMY: You met him. DOCTOR: Ah, the good looking one. Or the other one? AMY: The other one. DOCTOR: Well, he was good too. AMY: Thanks. So, do you comfort a lot of people on the night before their wedding? DOCTOR: Why would you need comforting? AMY: I nearly died. I was alone in the dark, and I nearly died. And it made me think. DOCTOR: Well, yes, natural. I think sometimes. Well, lots of times. AMY: About what I want. About who I want. You know what I mean? DOCTOR: Yeah. No. AMY: About who I want. DOCTOR: Oh right, yeah. No, still not getting it. AMY: Doctor. In a word. In one very simple word even you can understand. (Amy tries to kiss him.) DOCTOR: No! You're getting married in the morning! AMY: Well, the morning's a long time away. What are we going to do about that? (She pins him against the Tardis and tries to undo his shirt.) DOCTOR: Amy, listen to me. I am nine hundred and seven years old. Do you understand what that means? AMY: It's been a while? DOCTOR: Yeah. No, no, no. I'm nine hundred and seven, and look at me. I don't get older, I just change. You get older, I don't, and this can't ever work. AMY: Oh, you are sweet. Doctor. But I really wasn't suggesting anything quite so long term. (Amy finally gets to plant her lips on his.) DOCTOR: But you're human. You're Amy. You're getting married in the morning. In the morning. AMY: Doctor? DOCTOR: It's you. It's all about you. Everything. It's about you. AMY: Hold that thought. DOCTOR: Amy Pond. Mad, impossible, Amy Pond. I don't know why, I have no idea, but quite possibly the single most important thing in the history of the universe is that I get you sorted out right now. AMY: That's what I've been trying to tell you. DOCTOR: Come on. AMY: Doctor. (The Doctor hustles Amy into the Tardis and takes a last look at her alarm clock as it clicks over to 12:00pm 6/26.) RIVER [OC]: And for those of us who can't read the base code of the universe? DOCTOR [OC]: Amy's time. [Throne room] (Venice, 1580. In a large, otherwise empty chamber, a woman sits on a throne under a canopy, with her son standing at her side. Her Steward leads in a man and his young daughter.) GUIDO: Signora, your school offers a chance for betterment, escape. My daughter. Isabella is seventeen now, but what prospects are there for the daughter of a boat builder? There's no future for us. No future but you. ROSANNA: I am moved by your concern for your daughter. I believe protecting the future of one's own is a sacred duty. GUIDO: Signora, she is my world. ROSANNA: Then we will take your world. (This makes Guido and his daughter very happy.) GUIDO: I knew it. ROSANNA: Say goodbye to your daughter. GUIDO: Now, signora? ROSANNA: Why wait? Time ticks. GUIDO: Be brave, my girl. Make me proud. (The Steward escorts Guido out.) ROSANNA: Step into the light, my dear. That's it. (Rosanna and her son circle her.) ROSANNA: What say you, Francesco? Do you like her? FRANCESCO: Oh, I do, Mother. I do. (Francesco shows his teeth. They are small and sharp, like a bat's. Isabella screams.) [Pub] (Rory is on the phone, trying to make himself heard above the noise of his stag party. All the participants are wearing red t-shirts with Rory's Stag on the back and a picture of Rory and Amy inside a heart on the front.) RORY: Hey! It's me. Hello. How are you? [Amy's bedroom] (He is talking to the answerphone.) RORY [OC]: The reason for this call is because I haven't told you for seven hours that I love you, which is a scandal, and even if we weren't getting married tomorrow, I'd ask you to marry me anyway. [Pub] RORY: Yes, I would, because you are smashing. (A giant pink cake is wheeled in to the tune 'The Stripper'.) RORY: Oh. Oh. Oh, blimey. I've. I've, er got to go. I'll see you tomorrow. (His companions push Rory forward.) ALL: Out. Out. Out. (The Doctor bursts out of the fake cake and silence falls.) DOCTOR: Rory! That's a relief. I thought I'd burst out of the wrong cake, again. That reminds me, there's a girl standing outside in a bikini. Could someone let her in and give her a jumper? Lucy? Lovely girl. Diabetic. Now then, Rory. We need to talk about your fianc�e. She tried to kiss me. Tell you what, though. You're a lucky man. She's a great kisser. (Someone drops his beer glass and it smashes on the floor.) DOCTOR: Funny how you can say something in your head and it sounds fine. [Tardis] (The Doctor is hanging underneath the console platform, doing some welding. Rory and Amy are there.) DOCTOR: Oh, the life out there, it dazzles. I mean, it blinds you to the things that are important. I've seen it devour relationships and plans. It's meant to do that. Because for one person to have seen all that, to taste the glory and then go back, it will tear you apart. So, I'm sending you somewhere, together. AMY: Whoa. What, like a date? DOCTOR: Anywhere you want. Any time you want. One condition. It has to be amazing. The Moulin Rouge in 1890. The first Olympic Games. Think of it as a wedding present, because it's either this or tokens. It's a lot to take in, isn't it? Tiny box, huge room inside. What's that about? Let me explain. RORY: It's another dimension. DOCTOR: It's basically another dimension. What? RORY: After what happened with Prisoner Zero, I've been reading up on all the latest scientific theories. FTL travel, parallel universes. DOCTOR: I like the bit when someone says it's bigger on the inside. I always look forward to that. AMY: So, this date. I'm kind of done with running down corridors. What do you think, Rory? DOCTOR: How about somewhere romantic? [Market place] (The Tardis lands in the middle of the busy area, not even trying to hide. Venice is being played by Trogir and other locations in Croatia.) DOCTOR: Venice. (We are given a view of the campanile of San Marco and I think the Basilica, across a very wide canal with moored gondolas in the foreground.) DOCTOR: Venezia. La Serenissima. Impossible city. Preposterous city. Founded by refugees running from Attila the Hun. It was just a collection of little wooden huts in the middle of the marsh, but became one of the most powerful cities in the world. Constantly being invaded, constantly flooding, constantly just beautiful. Ah, you got to love Venice. So many people did. Byron, Napoleon, Casanova. Ooo, that reminds me. 1580. That's all right. Casanova doesn't get born for a hundred and forty five years. Don't want to run into him. I owe him a chicken. RORY: You owe Casanova a chicken? DOCTOR: Long story. We had a bet. (The Doctor is stopped by an official.) INSPECTOR: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Papers, if you please. Proof of residency, current bill of medical inspection. (The Doctor holds up his psychic paper.) DOCTOR: There you go, fellow. All to your satisfaction, I think you'll find. INSPECTOR: I am so sorry, Your Holiness. I didn't realise. (The Doctor blesses the man.) DOCTOR: No worries. You were just doing your job. Sorry, what exactly is your job? INSPECTOR: Checking for aliens. Visitors from foreign lands what might bring the plague with them. "AMY; Oh, that's nice. See where you bring me? The plague." INSPECTOR: Don't worry, Viscountess. No, we're under quarantine here. No one comes in, no one goes out, and all because of the grace and wisdom of our patron, Signora Rosanna Calvierri. DOCTOR: How interesting. I heard the plague died out years ago. INSPECTOR: Not out there. No, Signora Calvierri has seen it with her own eyes. Streets are piled high with bodies, she said. DOCTOR: Did she now. (Rory takes the psychic paper from the Inspector, who moves on to his next target.) INSPECTOR: Oi. RORY: Er, according to this, I am your eunuch. AMY: Oh yeah. I'll explain later. [House of Calvierri entrance] (The iron gates swing open. Girls in white dresses with white parasols and heavy veils on their heads walk out two by two. WOMAN: Veils down, girls. GIRL [OC]: (sotto) The Calvierri girls. (The Doctor, Amy and Rory are across the canal from the procession. Guido runs up to the girls.) WOMAN: What do you want? GUIDO: Where's my Isabella? WOMAN: What are you doing? Get away from there. (Guido lifts the girls veils until he finds his daughter.) GUIDO: Isabella? Isabella, it's me. (One of the girls knocks Guido down and bares her needle-teeth at him.) WOMAN: Girls, come along. FRANCESCO: She's gone. GUIDO: Isabella! It's me! [By the canal] AMY: What was that about? GUIDO: Isabella! (The Doctor has vanished.) AMY: I hate it when he does that. [Alleyway] DOCTOR: Who are those girls? GUIDO: I thought everyone knew about the Calvierri school. DOCTOR: My first day here. It's okay. Parents do all sorts of things to get their children into good schools. They move house, they change religion. So why are you trying to get her out? GUIDO: Something happens in there. Something magical, something evil. My own daughter didn't recognise me. And the girl who pushed me away, her face, like an animal. DOCTOR: I think it's time I met this Signora Calvierri. [Main hall] (La Signora is on her knees before her Steward, drinking deeply from a golden goblet.) FRANCESCO: Mother? ROSANNA: Mummy's hydrating, Francesco. FRANCESCO: And we never interrupt Mummy when she's hydrating. (Rosanna drains another goblet of liquid.) FRANCESCO: We were accosted again. A man made a grab for one of the girls. The longer we wait, the greater the risk of discovery. I mean, we've already converted more than enough. Surely it's time to introduce them to my brothers? ROSANNA: I shall decide when we have enough. FRANCESCO: If it's more you want, let me take the girls into the city tonight. We could ROSANNA: We follow the plan. Let them hammer on our door. Beg to be taken. [Street] (Amy and Rory are exploring.) RORY: And what have you been doing? AMY: Well, running, and fighting. I've been scared. More scared than I thought was RORY: Did you miss me? AMY: I knew I'd be coming back. RORY: He was right. It blots out everything else. AMY: Rory, this is our date. Let's not do this. Not now. RORY: Huh. We are in Venice and it is 1580. AMY: I know. (Francesco watches them leave from a stairway.) FLOWER GIRL: Flowers, signor? (Francesco follows the flower girl around the corner, where she is waiting for him. Rory is about to take a photograph of Amy in front of a building when they hear a scream.) RORY: What was that? (They run back in time to see Francesco with blood on his sharp teeth and the girl with two holes in her neck. Francesco hisses, raises his cloak and leaves.) RORY: She'll be okay. Where are you? Amy, come back! (Amy chases after Francesco but loses him when an alleyway opens straight onto the canal.) [House of Calvierri entrance] GUIDO: You have my daughter. Isabella! GUARD: No, you're not coming in. Just stop there. Look, we've told you. (The distraction enables the Doctor to sneak past and round to the water gate and sonic his way in.) GUIDO: You have my daughter. Isabella! I demand you let me see my daughter. GUARD: Go away. GUIDO: Isabella, it's me. It's your father. GUARD: We will arrest you. GUIDO: Isabella! GUARD: Give it up, will you. Move off. [Cellar] (The Doctor goes down a stone staircase to an area with a vaulted roof. There is an ornate mirror on one wall opposite 3 doors.) DOCTOR: Hello, handsome. (As he adjusts his tie in the mirror, girls in white robes appear behind him. They have no reflections.) VAMPIRES: Who are you? DOCTOR: How are you doing that? I am loving it. You're like Houdini, only five slightly scary girls, and he was shorter. Will be shorter. I'm rambling. VAMPIRES: I'll ask you again, signor. Who are you? DOCTOR: Why don't you check this out? (The Doctor holds out an ID card with William Hartnell's photograph on it. The girls stare at it blankly, then the Doctor looks at it.) DOCTOR: Library card. Of course, it's with. He's. I need a spare. Pale, creepy girls who don't like sunlight and can't be seen. Ha. Am I thinking what I think I'm thinking? But the city. Why shut down the city? Unless VAMPIRES: Leave now, signor, or we shall call for the Steward, if you are lucky. DOCTOR: Ooo. (The girls teeth turn into needles, and they start to advance on the Doctor, hissing.) DOCTOR: Tell me the whole plan. (sotto) One day that will work. Listen, I would love to stay here. This whole thing. I'm thrilled. Oh, this is Christmas. (The Doctor runs back up the stairs.) [By the canal] (Night is falling.) AMY: Doctor! DOCTOR: I just met some vampires. AMY: We just saw a vampire. (They talk over each other.) DOCTOR: And creepy girls and everything. AMY: Vampires. RORY: We think we just saw a vampire. DOCTOR: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Amy was just telling me. AMY: Yeah, yeah. The Doctor actually went to their house. RORY: Oh. Right. Well. DOCTOR: Okay. So, first we need to get back in there somehow. RORY: What? AMY: How do we do that? RORY: Back in where? DOCTOR: Come and meet my new friend. [Guido's home] (A vellum map of Venice is laid on the table.) GUIDO: As you saw, there's no clear way in. The House of Calvierri is like a fortress. But there's a tunnel underneath it, with a ladder and shaft that leads up into the house. I tried to get in once myself, but I hit a trapdoor. AMY: You need someone on the inside. DOCTOR: No. AMY: You don't even know what I was going to say. DOCTOR: Er, that we pretend you're an applicant for the school to get you inside, and tonight you come down and open the trapdoor to let us in. AMY: Oh. So you do know what I was going to say. RORY: Are you insane? AMY: We don't have another option. RORY: He said no, Amy. Listen to him. GUIDO: There is another option. (Guido points to the collection of barrels behind Rory.) GUIDO: I work at the Arsenale. We build the warships for the navy. (The Doctor sniffs the barrels.) DOCTOR: Gunpowder. Most people just nick stationery from where they work. Look, I have a thing about guns and huge quantities of explosive. GUIDO: What do you suggest, then? We wait until they turn her into an animal? AMY: I'll be there three, four hours, tops. DOCTOR: No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It can't keep happening like this. This is how they go. But I have to know. We go together, say you're my daughter. RORY: What? Don't listen to him. AMY: Your daughter? You look about nine. DOCTOR: Brother, then. AMY: Too weird. Fianc�. RORY: I'm not having him run around telling people he's your fianc�. AMY: No. No, you're right. RORY: Thank you. AMY: I mean, they've already seen the Doctor. You should do it. RORY: Me? AMY: Yeah. You can be my brother. RORY: Why is him being your brother weird, but with me, it's okay? RORY: Actually, I thought you were her fianc�. DOCTOR: Yeah, that's not helping. RORY: This whole thing is mental. They're vampires, for God's sake. DOCTOR: We hope. AMY: So if they're not vampires? DOCTOR: Makes you wonder what could be so bad it doesn't actually mind us thinking it's a vampire. [Throne room] (Rory and Amy stand before Rosanna and Francesco, dressing in appropriate costume.) RORY: So, basically, both of our parents are dead from getting the plague. I'm a gondola driver, so money's a bit tight, so having my sister go to your school for special people would be brilliant. Cheers. FRANCESCO: Have we met? RORY: I've just got one of those faces. FRANCESCO: I wasn't talking to you. RORY: She's got the same face, which is because she's my sister. ROSANNA: Carlo, explain yourself. Why have you brought me this imbecile? (Carlo is the Steward.) CARLO: Signora, they have references from His Majesty the King of Sweden. ROSANNA: What? Let me see. (Rory steps forward with the psychic paper whilst Francesco circles Amy.) ROSANNA: Well, now I see what got my Steward so excited. What say you, Francesco? Do you like her? FRANCESCO: Oh, I do, Mother. I do. ROSANNA: Then we would be delighted to accept her. Say goodbye to your sister. (Carlo hustles Rory away.) AMY: Tell Uncle Doctor I'll see you both really soon, okay? I'll be fine. RORY: Amy. [Dormitory] (Carlo leads Amy up a stone staircase, past a lot of pale young women, into a room with several beds. It is underneath a large, ornately decorated dome.) CARLO: There are clothes on the bed. Get changed and wait here. AMY: Blimey. This is private education, then? (Carlo leaves with all but one of the girls.) AMY: Hey. Hello, I'm Amy. What's your name? ISABELLA: Isabella. AMY: Listen, we're going to get you out of here, but I need you to tell me what's going on. What is this place? What are they doing? ISABELLA: They er, they come at night. They gather around my bed, and they take me to a room with this green light and a chair with straps, as if for a surgeon. AMY: What happens in there? ISABELLA: I wake up here. And the sunlight burns my skin like candle wax. (A bell tolls.) [Gondola] (Guido poles a gondola along. He is wearing Rory's stag party t-shirt.) DOCTOR: She'll be fine. RORY: You can promise me that, can you? (Amy is exploring the damp basement, not noticing a corpse.) GUIDO: We're here. [Tunnel] DOCTOR: Right. Okay, I'll go first. If anything happens to me, go back RORY: What happened, between you and Amy? You said she kissed you. DOCTOR: Now? You want to do this now? RORY: I have a right to know. I'm getting married in four hundred and thirty years. (Amy finds the cover of the trapdoor to the tunnel, and pulls back the metal bolts. She starts to leave and walks into Carlo, dropping her candle.) DOCTOR: She was frightened. I was frightened. But we survived, you know, and the relief of it, and so she kissed me. RORY: And you kissed her back. DOCTOR: No. I kissed her mouth. RORY: Funny. DOCTOR: Rory. Rory, she kissed me because I was there. It would have been you. It should have been you. RORY: Yeah, it should have been me. DOCTOR: Exactly. That's why I brought you here. (A strong wind blows out their torch.) DOCTOR: Can we go and see the vampires now, please? [Cellar] CARLO: Control yourself, child. AMY: Take your hands off me! (The place is illuminated with green light.) ROSANNA: Psychic paper. Did you really think that would work on me? [Courtyard] (The Doctor climbs up on Rory and out of the trapdoor, then pulls him up.) DOCTOR: Push. Come on. There we are. Amy. Where's Amy? Amy? RORY: I can't see a thing. Just as well I brought this, then. (Rory produces a tiny penlight, the Doctor pulls out a small light sabre.) DOCTOR: Ultraviolet. Portable sunlight. RORY: Yours is bigger than mine. DOCTOR: Let's not go there. [Cellar] ROSANNA: Where are you from? Did you fall through the Chasm? FRANCESCO: Mother this is pointless. Let's just start the process and ROSANNA: Hold your tongue, Francesco. I need to know what this girl is doing in a world of savages with psychic paper. Who are you with? You see, I scarcely believe your idiot brother sent you. What are you doing in my school? The chair is brought forward, and a drip bag is hung from a hook above it.) AMY: Okay, I'll tell you. I'm from Ofsted. ROSANNA: (laughs) Put her in the chair. AMY: No! Take your hands off me! (The vampires set up bags of blood and fasten Amy into the chair. Francesco holds her head.) ROSANNA: Oh, make sport of me, will you? Tease me as if I were your dog? Well, this dog has a bite, girl. AMY: Doctor! (Rosanna bites Amy's neck.) [Courtyard] RORY: If we cancel now, we lose the deposit on the village hall. The salsa band. Oh. (The Doctor opens a nearby chest. It contains desiccated vampires.) RORY: What happened to them? DOCTOR: They've had all the moisture taken out of them. [Cellar] FRANCESCO: Mother, where you drink from her, may we share? I'm so thirsty. ROSANNA: Of course, darling. [Courtyard] RORY: That's what vampires do, right? They drink your blood and replace it with their own. DOCTOR: Yeah, except these people haven't just had their blood taken, but all the water in their entire bodies. RORY: Why did they die? Why aren't they like the girls in the school? DOCTOR: Maybe not everyone survives the process. RORY: You know what's dangerous about you? It's not that you make people take risks, it's that you make them want to impress you. You make it so they don't want to let you down. You have no idea how dangerous you make people to themselves when you're around. VAMPIRES: Who are you? (Six girls have appeared. The Doctor waves his UV light at them.) DOCTOR: We should run. Run. [Cellar] ROSANNA: This is how it works. First, we drink you until you're dry. Then we fill you with our blood. It rages through you like a fire, changing you, until one morning you awake and your humanity is a dream now faded. FRANCESCO: Or you die. That can happen. AMY: And if I survive? ROSANNA: Then there are ten thousand husbands waiting for you in the water. AMY: Yeah, sorry, I'm kind of engaged. (Amy kicks out at Rosanna, damaging a device under her overskirt. She briefly transforms into a bony vampire shrimp or lobster.) DOCTOR [OC]: Oh! Rory, come on. (Rosanna, Francesco and Carlo run out.) [Corridor] (They block the Doctor's way.) DOCTOR: Cab for Amy Pond? [Cellar] (Isabella comes to free Amy from the chair.} AMY: She bit me. [Corridor] (Vampires block the Doctor and Rory's retreat.) ROSANNA: This rescue plan. Not exactly watertight, is it? (The Doctor brandishes his UV light again.) DOCTOR: Ah ha! (Isabella and Amy run in.) AMY: Rory. RORY: Amy. ISABELLA: Quickly, through here. ROSANNA: Seal the house. [Tunnel] AMY: They're not vampires. DOCTOR: What? AMY: I saw them. I saw her. They're not vampires, they're aliens. (The Doctor sonics the trapdoor hatch.) DOCTOR: Classic. RORY: That's good news? What is wrong with you people? DOCTOR: Come on, Rory. Move. (Francesco and the vampires catch up to them, but are held back by the UV light. He sends the girls ahead of him.) DOCTOR: Keep moving. Come on, guys. [Tunnel entrance] (Daylight, and church bells are ringing. Guido is still waiting with his gondola.) ISABELLA: Quickly, quickly. Get out. Quick. Quick. (But Isabella recoils as the sunlight touches her skin.) DOCTOR: Come on. Run. ISABELLA: I can't. (Isabella and the vampires shut the heavy door leading to the tunnel. The Doctor touches the metal on it, and gets an electric shock.) AMY: Is he dead? RORY: No, he's breathing. [Canalside] (Isabella is being made to walk the plank.) CARLO: And so in memory of the children lost to the Silence, the traitor is delivered to the arms of those she betrayed. ISABELLA: Do you expect me to drown? I'm Venetian. I can swim. We can all swim. (A guard prods her off the plank with his pike. Bubbles rise from the water.) ISABELLA: Something touched my leg! They're all around me. They bite! (Isabella is pulled down under the water.) ROSANNA: Now leave us. (Carlo, the vampires and the guards go back inside the house. Rosanna kneels by the water.) FRANCESCO: Mother, change your form, or my brothers will think they are being fed twice today. ROSANNA: Not long now. It's not long. [Throne room] (Rosanna enters alone. The Doctor is sitting on her throne.) DOCTOR: Long way from Saturnyne, aren't you, Sister of the Water? ROSANNA: No, let me guess. The owner of the psychic paper. Then I take it you're a refugee, like me? DOCTOR: I'll make you a deal. An answer for an answer. You're using a perception filter. It doesn't change your features, but manipulates the brainwaves of the person looking at you. But seeing one of you for the first time in, say, a mirror, the brain doesn't know what to fill the gap with, so leaves it blank, hence no reflection. ROSANNA: Your question? DOCTOR: Why can we see your big teeth? ROSANNA: Self preservation over rides the mirage. The subconscious perceives the threat and tries to alert the conscious brain. DOCTOR: Where's Isabella? ROSANNA: My turn. Where are you from? DOCTOR: Gallifrey. ROSANNA: You should be in a museum. Or in a mausoleum. DOCTOR: Why are you here? ROSANNA: We ran from the Silence. Why are you here? DOCTOR: Wedding present. The Silence? ROSANNA: There were cracks. Some were tiny. Some were as big as the sky. Through some we saw worlds and people, and through others we saw Silence and the end of all things. We fled to an ocean like ours, and the crack snapped shut behind us. Saturnyne was lost. DOCTOR: So Earth is to become Saturnyne Mark Two? ROSANNA: And you can help me. We can build a new society here, as others have. What do you say? DOCTOR: Where's Isabella? ROSANNA: Isabella? DOCTOR: The girl who saved my friend. ROSANNA: Oh, deserters must be executed. Any general will tell you that. I need an answer, Doctor. A partnership. Any which way you choose. DOCTOR: I don't think that's such a good idea, do you? I'm a Time Lord. You're a big fish. Think of the children. ROSANNA: Carlo? You're right. We're nothing alike. I will bend the heavens to save my race, while you philosophise. (Carlo enters.) DOCTOR: This ends today. I will tear down the House of Calvierri, stone by stone. Take your hands off me, Carlo. And you know why? You didn't know Isabella's name. You didn't know Isabella's name. CARLO [OC]: Open the gates. (The Doctor leaves.) [Main hall] ROSANNA: Attend. Attend. The storm is coming. (Rosanna briefly transforms into her real form. Carlo staggers back, shocked.) ROSANNA: Argh! FRANCESCO: Mummy, what's wrong with your perception filter? ROSANNA: The idiot child must have damaged it when she kicked me. (Another brief transformation.) ROSANNA: Now, assemble the girls. I have a job for them. [Guido's home] (The Doctor checks Amy's puncture wounds with his sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: You're fine. Open wide. (He pops a humbug into Amy's mouth. Guido and Rory have got their own clothes back.) DOCTOR: Argh. I need to think. Come on, brain. Think, think, think. Think. AMY: If they're fish people, it explains why they hate the sun. DOCTOR: Stop talking. Brain thinking. Hush. RORY: It's the school thing I don't understand. DOCTOR: Stop talking. Brain thinking. Hush. GUIDO: I say we take the fight to them. DOCTOR: Ah, ah, ah. GUIDO: What? DOCTOR: Ah. Her planet dies, so they flee through a crack in space and time and end up here. Then she closes off the city and, one by one, starts changing the people into creatures like her to start a new gene pool. Got it. But then what? They come from the sea. They can't survive for ever on land, so what's she going to do? Unless she's going to do something to the environment to make the city habitable. She said, I shall bend the heavens to save my race. Bend the heavens. Bend the heavens. She's going to sink Venice. GUIDO: She's going to sink Venice? DOCTOR: And repopulate it with the girls she's transformed. RORY: You can't repopulate somewhere with just women. You need blokes. AMY: She's got blokes. DOCTOR: Where? AMY: In the canal. She said to me there are ten thousand husbands waiting in the water. DOCTOR: Only the male offspring survived the journey here. She's got ten thousand children swimming around the canals, waiting for Mum to make them some compatible girlfriends. Urgh. I mean, I've been around a bit, but really that's, that's eugh. (Thump creak.) DOCTOR: The people upstairs are very noisy. GUIDO: There aren't any people upstairs. DOCTOR: Do you know, I knew you were going to say that. Did anyone else know he was going to say that? RORY: Is it the vampires? DOCTOR: Like I said, they're not vampires. Fish from space. (A window breaks. Vampires gather the doors and windows.) RORY: Aren't we on the second floor? (The Doctor waves his UV light at them, then uses his sonic screwdriver to reveal their true appearance.) GUIDO: What's happened to them? DOCTOR: There's nothing left of them. They've been fully converted. Blimey, fish from space have never been so buxom. Okay, move. RORY: Come on. [Staircase] GUIDO: Give me the lamp. [Outside Guido's home] DOCTOR: Go, go, go, guys. Keep moving. Go, go, go. GUIDO: Stay away from the door, Doctor. DOCTOR: No. Guido, What are you doing? [Staircase] (Guido makes his way back to his apartment.) DOCTOR [OC]: I'm not leaving you. What are you doing? [Outside Guido's home] (The sonic screwdriver is useless.) DOCTOR: Argh, bolted. [Staircase] GUIDO: Come on. That's it, keep coming. Come on. [Outside Guido's home] DOCTOR: Guido! [Guido's home] (Guide picks up a lit candle and backs towards his collection of gunpowder barrels. The vampires move forward.) GUIDO: Come on. Come on. Come on. (The Doctor runs away, very fast.) GUIDO: We are Venetians! (KaBOOM.) [Throne room] ROSANNA: Right. To begin, let's fill the sky with fire. (She opens one of the ornaments on the arm of her throne and presses a button. Gas spews from a tower on the corner of the house, instantly creating a violent thunderstorm.) ROSANNA: Yes. [Street] (The people are frightened.)  MAN: In sight of the Lord, protect and keep us. [Outside Guido's home] DOCTOR: Rosanna's initiating the final phase. AMY: We need to stop her. Come on. DOCTOR: No, no, no. Get back to the Tardis. AMY: You can't stop her on your own. DOCTOR: We don't discuss this. I tell you to do something, Amy, and you do it. Huh? (Amy storms off.) RORY: Thank you. DOCTOR: You're welcome. [By the canal] (Francesco opens the gates across from where Amy and Rory are watching the sky.) AMY: Oh my God, what is going on? RORY: The sky, it's like it's boiling. (Francesco dives into the canal.) [Throne room] (The Doctor opens the back of the throne.) ROSANNA: You're too late. Such determination, just to save one city. Hard to believe it's the same man that let an entire race turn to cinders and ash. Now you can watch as my people take their new kingdom. DOCTOR: The girls have gone, Rosanna. ROSANNA: You're lying. DOCTOR: Shouldn't I be dead, hmm? Rosanna, please, help me. There are two hundred thousand people in this city. ROSANNA: So save them. [Alleyway] (Francesco confronts Rory and Amy. Rory picks up two candlesticks and holds them out as a cross.) RORY: Amy, run. (Francesco knocks the candlesticks out of Rory's hands and walks towards Amy.) RORY: This way, you freak. No! This way, you big, stupid, great SpongeBob. The only thing I've seen uglier than you is your Mum. FRANCESCO: Huh? RORY: No. FRANCESCO: Did you just say something about Mummy? (Rory picks up a broomstick and jabs it towards Francesco, then waves it around. Francesco draws his very real sword and does the same. A very uneven fight ensues.) AMY: Careful. Careful. Okay, hit him. This way. bring him this way. Rory! (The broomstick gets chopped up. Rory manages to entangle Francesco in some washing hanging from a line.) RORY: Oh. Oh, you stink of fish. FRANCESCO: Well, I'm hardly going to smell of cheese and biscuits. (Rory backs away to where Amy had run, and trips. Francesco transforms into his true self and leaps on him.) AMY: Hey, Mummy's boy! (Amy uses her compact mirror to direct sunlight onto Francesco, who instantly burns and explodes, covering Rory with soot.) RORY: Oh. AMY: That was lucky. Why did you make the sign of the cross, you numpty? RORY: Oh. Oh, right, I'm being reviewed now, am I? (Amy gives him a passionate kiss.) AMY: Mmm. Now we go help the Doctor. RORY: Righty-ho. [House of Calvierri entrance] CARLO: Open the gate! (Carlo drags out a bag filled with gold objects. Amy and Rory run inside.) MAN: It's the Almighty. Look at the sky! [Throne room] DOCTOR: Get out. I need to stabilise the storm. RORY: We're not leaving you. DOCTOR: Right, so one minute it's all you make people a danger to themselves, and the next it's we're not leaving you. But if one of you gets squashed or blown up or eaten, who gets the (The house shakes, knocking them off their feet.) RORY: What was that? DOCTOR: Nothing. Bit of an earthquake. AMY: An earthquake? DOCTOR: Manipulate the elements, it can trigger earthquakes. But don't worry about them. RORY: No? DOCTOR: No. Worry about the tidal waves caused by the earthquake. Right, Rosanna's throne is the control hub but she's locked the programme, so, tear out every single wire and circuit in the throne. Go crazy. Hit it with a stick, anything. We need it to shut down and re-route control to the secondary hub, which I'm guessing will also be the generator. [Bell tower] (Which is in the bell tower, where the bells are rocking and ringing.) DOCTOR: Shut up. Shut up. That's better. (The Doctor starts to climb up the outside to the big metal lightning conductor, with the help of the power cable.) DOCTOR: Oh. Oh. Okay. [Outside the House of Calvierri] RORY: There he is. Come on. (The Doctor opens the brass ball to reveal clockwork.) RORY: Come on. AMY: Come on. (The Doctor finds a tiny switch and stops the mechanism. Instantly the rain ceases, the clouds vanish and birds start singing again. The people cheer and applaud.) RORY: You did it! [Canalside] (Rosanna cannot turn her perception filter off now. She undresses quickly.) DOCTOR: Rosanna! ROSANNA: One city to save an entire species. Was that so much to ask? DOCTOR: I told you, you can't go back and change time. You mourn, but you live. I know, Rosanna. I did it. ROSANNA: Tell me, Doctor. Can your conscience carry the weight of another dead race? Remember us. Dream of us. (Rosanna steps off the plank into the water, where her sons consume her.) DOCTOR: No! No! [Market place] (The Inspector gives the Doctor his deepest, most respectful bow.) DOCTOR: Now then, what about you two, eh? Next stop Leadworth Registry Office. Maybe I can give you away. RORY: It's fine. Drop me back where you found me. I'll just say you've AMY: Stay. With us. Please. Just for a bit. I want you to stay. DOCTOR: Fine with me. RORY: Yeah? Yes, I would like that. AMY: Nice one. I will pop the kettle on. Hey, look at this. Got my spaceship, got my boys. My work here is done. (Amy goes into the Tardis.) RORY: Er, we are not her boys. DOCTOR: Yeah, we are. RORY: Yeah, we are. (Suddenly, Venice is empty of people.) DOCTOR: Rory, listen to that. RORY: Er, what? All I can hear is silence. ROSANNA [OC]: There were cracks. Through some we saw Silence and the end of all things. [Kitchen] (In the quiet countryside, a cockerel crows. A very heavily pregnant Amy is mixing ingredients in a bowl, when she suddenly puts it down and gasps.) AMY: Rory! [Outside the house] (Long haired Rory returns home on his bicycle.) AMY [OC]: Rory, it's starting! [Kitchen] (Rory dashes in to find Amy contentedly eating cake mix.) RORY: Ah. Okay, okay. AMY: False alarm. RORY: What? AMY: Well, I don't know what it feels like. I've never had a baby before. (The sound of the Tardis materialising.) AMY: No. RORY: I know, leaf blowers. Use a rake. AMY: No, it's. (The Tardis parks herself directly outside the front window.) AMY: I knew. I just knew. [Front garden] (The Doctor has to try and step over a small rockery to get out.) DOCTOR: Rory! RORY: Doctor. DOCTOR: I've crushed your flowers. RORY: Oh, Amy will kill you. DOCTOR: Where is she? RORY: She'll need a bit longer. DOCTOR: Whenever you're ready, Amy. (Amy waddles out.) DOCTOR: Oh, way-hey! You've swallowed a planet. AMY: I'm pregnant. DOCTOR: You're huge. AMY: Yeah, I'm pregnant. DOCTOR: Look at you. When worlds collide. AMY: Doctor, I'm pregnant. DOCTOR: Oh, look at you both. Five years later and you haven't changed a bit, apart from age and size. AMY: Oh, it's good to see you, Doctor. DOCTOR: Are you pregnant? [Leadworth] DOCTOR: Ah, Leadworth. Vibrant as ever. RORY: It's Upper Leadworth, actually. We've gone slightly upmarket. DOCTOR: Where is everyone? AMY: This is busy. Okay, it's quiet, but it's really restful and healthy. Loads of people here live well into their nineties. (Including the old woman twitching her net curtains as they pass.) DOCTOR: Well, don't let that get you down. AMY: It's not getting me down. DOCTOR: Well, I wanted to see how you were. You know me, I don't just abandon people when they leave the Tardis. This Time Lord's for life. You don't get rid of your old pal the Doctor so easily. AMY: Hmm. You came here by mistake, didn't you? DOCTOR: Yeah, bit of a mistake. But look, what a result. Look at this bench. What a nice bench. What will they think of next? So. What do you do around here to stave off the, you know AMY: Boredom. DOCTOR: Self harm. RORY: We relax. DOCTOR: (silent) Relax. RORY: We live. We listen to the birds. AMY: Yeah, see? Birds. Those are nice. RORY: We didn't get time to listen to birdsong back in the Tardis days, did we? (The bird is very loud.) DOCTOR: Oh blimey, my head's a bit. Ooo. Er, no, you're right, there wasn't a lot of time for birdsong back in the good old (Rory, Amy and the Doctor fall asleep.) [Tardis] (The Doctor wakes up on the console floor. Short haired Rory and non-pregnant Amy enter.) DOCTOR: Days. What? No, yes, sorry, what? Oh, you're okay. Oh, thank God. I had a terrible nightmare about you two. That was scary. Don't ask. You don't want to know. You're safe now. (The Doctor hugs Amy.) AMY: Oh, okay. DOCTOR: That's what counts. Blimey. Never dropped off like that before. Well, never, really. I'm getting on a bit, you see. Don't let the cool gear fool you. Now, what's wrong with the console? Red flashing lights. I bet they mean something. RORY: Er, Doctor, I also had a kind of dream thing. AMY: Yeah, so did I. RORY: Not a nightmare, though, just, er, we were married. AMY: Yeah. In a little village. RORY: A sweet little village, and you were pregnant. AMY: Yes, I was huge. I was a boat. RORY: So you had the same dream, then? Exactly the same dream? AMY: Are you calling me a boat? RORY: And Doctor, you were visiting. AMY: Yeah, yeah, you came to our cottage. RORY: How can we have the same dream? It doesn't make any sense. AMY: And you had a nightmare about us. What happened to us in the nightmare? DOCTOR: It was a bit similar, in some aspects. RORY: Which aspects? DOCTOR: Well, all of them. AMY: You had the same dream. DOCTOR: Basically. RORY: You said it was a nightmare. DOCTOR: Did I say nightmare? No, more of a really good mare. Look, it doesn't matter. We all had some kind of psychic episode. We probably jumped a time track or something. Forget it. We're back to reality now. (A bird is singing.) AMY: Doctor? If we're back to reality, how come I can still hear birds? RORY: Yeah, the same birds. The same ones we heard in the [Leadworth] RORY: Dream. Oh! Sorry. Nodded off. Stupid. God, I must be overdoing it. I was dreaming we were back on the Tardis. (The Doctor checks his braces and walks away.) RORY: You had the same dream, didn't you? AMY: Weren't we just saying the same thing? RORY: But we thought this was the dream, didn't we? AMY: I think so. Why do dreams have to fade so quickly? RORY: Doctor, what is going on? AMY: Is this because of you? Is this some Time Lordy thing because you've shown up again? DOCTOR: Listen to me. Trust nothing. From now on, trust nothing you see, hear or feel. RORY: But we're awake now. DOCTOR: Yeah. You thought you were awake on the Tardis, too. AMY: But we're home. DOCTOR: Yeah, you're home. You're also dreaming. Trouble is, Rory, Amy, which is which? Are we flashing forwards or backwards? Hold on tight. This is going be a tricky one. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Oh, this is bad. I don't like this. (He kicks the console, and hurts his leg.) DOCTOR: Argh. Never use force. You just embarrass yourself. Unless you're cross, in which case, always use force. AMY: Shall I run and get the manual? DOCTOR: I threw it in a supernova. AMY: You threw the manual in a supernova? Why? DOCTOR: Because I disagreed with it. Stop talking to me when I'm cross. RORY: Okay, but whatever's wrong with the Tardis, is that what caused us to dream about the future? DOCTOR: If we were dreaming of the future. AMY: Well, of course we were. We were in Leadworth. RORY: Upper Leadworth. DOCTOR: Yeah, and we could still be in Upper Leadworth, dreaming of this. Don't you get it? AMY: No, okay? No, this is real. I'm definitely awake now. DOCTOR: And you thought you were definitely awake when you were all elephanty. AMY: Hey. Pregnant. DOCTOR: And you could be giving birth right now. This could be the dream. I told you. Trust nothing we see or hear or feel. Look around you. Examine everything. Look for all the details that don't ring true. RORY: Okay, we're in a spaceship that's bigger on the inside than the outside. AMY: With a bow tie-wearing alien. RORY: So maybe what rings true isn't so simple. DOCTOR: Valid point. (The Tardis switches off. There is just a faint glow from the time rotor left.) DOCTOR: It's dead. We're in a dead time machine. (A bird sings. Rory hugs Amy.) DOCTOR: Remember, this is real. But when we wake up in the other place, remember how real this feels. AMY: It is real. I know it's real. [Leadworth] (A teacher leads a crocodile of schoolchildren past. The church clock is chiming as Rory and Amy wake up on a bench outside the Library.) AMY: Okay, this is the real one. Definitely this one. It's all solid. DOCTOR: It felt solid in the Tardis too. You can't spot a dream while you're having it. (The Doctor waves his hand in front of his face.) RORY: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Looking for motion blur, pixilation. It could be a computer simulation. I don't think so, though. (A little old woman walks past.) HAMIT: Hello, Doctor. RORY: Hi. DOCTOR: Hello. You're a doctor. RORY: Yeah. And unlike you, I've actually passed some exams. DOCTOR: A doctor, not a nurse. Just like you've always dreamed. How interesting. RORY: What is? DOCTOR: Your dream wife, your dream job, probably your dream baby. Maybe this is your dream. RORY: It's Amy's dream too. Isn't it, Amy? AMY: Yes. Course it is, yeah. DOCTOR: What's that? AMY: Old people's home. (The sign outside says SARN Residential Care Home. A man is looking out of a window, then a woman and another man.) DOCTOR: You said everyone here lives to their nineties. There's something here that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick. (The Doctor runs off, followed by Rory.) AMY: Oh. Can we not do the running thing? [Care home lounge] WOMAN [OC]: Oh hello, Doctor Williams. POGGIT: Hello, Rory love. RORY: Hello, Mrs Poggit. How's your hip? POGGIT: A bit stiff. DOCTOR: Oh, easy, D-96 compound, plus. No, you don't have that yet. Forget that. POGGIT: Who's your friend? A junior doctor? RORY: Yes. POGGIT: Can I borrow you? You're the size of my grandson. (The Doctor has to try on the sweater Mrs Poggit is knitting.) DOCTOR: Slightly keen to move on. Freak psychic schism to sort out. You're incredibly old, aren't you? (The rest of the residents in the lounge stare at him, then the birdsong starts and they fall asleep.) [Tardis] AMY: Okay, I hate this, Doctor. Stop it, because this is definitely real. It's definitely this one. I keep saying that, don't I? RORY: It's bloody cold. DOCTOR: The heating's off. RORY: The heating's off? DOCTOR: Yeah. Put on a jumper. That's what I always do. RORY: Er, yes. Sorry about Mrs Poggit. She's so lovely though. DOCTOR: I wouldn't believe her nice old lady act if I were you. AMY: What do you mean, act? DOCTOR: Everything's off. Sensors, core power. We're drifting. The scanner's down so we can't even see out. We could be anywhere. Someone, something, is overriding my controls. (A little man in a red bow tie and tweed jacket suddenly appears on the stairs behind the Doctor.) DREAM LORD: Well, that took a while. Honestly, I'd heard such good things. Last of the Time Lords, the Oncoming Storm. Him in the bow tie. DOCTOR: How did you get into my Tardis? What are you? DREAM LORD: What shall we call me? Well, if you're the Time Lord, let's call me the Dream Lord. DOCTOR: Nice look. DREAM LORD: This? No, I'm not convinced. Bow ties? (The Doctor throws his sonic screwdriver through the Dream Lord.) DREAM LORD: Interesting. I'd love to be impressed, but Dream Lord. It's in the name, isn't it? Spooky. Not quite there. (He pops up behind them.) DREAM LORD: And yet, very much here. DOCTOR: I'll do the talking, thank you. Amy, want to take a guess at what that is? AMY: Er, Dream Lord. He creates dreams. DOCTOR: Dreams, delusions, cheap tricks. DREAM LORD: And what about the gooseberry, here. Does he get a guess? RORY: Er, listen, mate. If anyone's the gooseberry round here, it's the Doctor. DREAM LORD: Well now, there's a delusion I'm not responsible for. RORY: No, he is. Isn't he, Amy. DREAM LORD: Oh, Amy, have to sort your men out. Choose, even. AMY: I have chosen. Of course I've chosen. (Amy is standing close to the Doctor, but she hits Rory.) AMY: It's you, stupid. RORY: Oh, good. Thanks. (The Dream Lord pops behind them again.) DREAM LORD: You can't fool me. I've seen your dreams. Some of them twice. Amy. Blimey, I'd blush if I had a blood supply or a real face. DOCTOR: Where did you pick up this cheap cabaret act? DREAM LORD: Me? Oh, you're on shaky ground. DOCTOR: Am I? DREAM LORD: If you had any more tawdry quirks you could open up a Tawdry Quirk Shop. The madcap vehicle, the cockamamie hair, the clothes designed by a first-year fashion student. I'm surprised you haven't got a little purple space dog just to ram home what an intergalactic wag you are. Where was I? RORY: You were DREAM LORD: I know where I was. So, here's your challenge. Two worlds. Here, in the time machine, and there, in the village that time forgot. One is real, the other's fake. And just to make it more interesting, you're going to face in both worlds a deadly danger, but only one of the dangers is real. Tweet, tweet. Time to sleep. (Birdsong.) DREAM LORD: Oh. Or are you waking up? (The Doctor tries to stay awake, but finally fails.) [Care home lounge] (The residents are gone. The Dream Lord walks in wearing a dark suit and tie, with an x-ray in his hand.) DREAM LORD: Oh, this is bad. This is very, very bad. Look at this X-ray. Your brain is completely see-through. But then, I've always been able to see through you, Doctor. AMY: Always? What do you mean, always? DREAM LORD: Now then, the prognosis is this. If you die in the dream, you wake up in reality. Healthy recovery in next to no time. Ask me what happens if you die in reality? RORY: What happens? DREAM LORD: You die, stupid. That's why it's called reality. AMY: Have you met the Doctor before? Do you know him? Doctor, does he? DREAM LORD: Now don't get jealous. He's been around, our boy. But never mind that. You've got a world to choose. One reality was always too much for you, Doctor. Take two and call me in the morning. (The Dream Lord vanishes.) RORY: Okay, I don't like him. AMY: Who is he? DOCTOR: I don't know. It's a big universe. AMY: Why is he doing this? DOCTOR: Maybe because he has no physical form. That gets you down after a while, so he's taking it out on folk like us who can touch and eat and feel. RORY: What does he mean, deadly danger, though? Nothing deadly has happened here. I mean, a bit of natural wastage, obviously. (The Doctor is suddenly in his jacket again, not the sweater.) DOCTOR: They've all gone. They've all gone. [Leadworth] (Directly opposite the care home is a play area and a ruined castle. The teacher is trying to keep control of the children as they play.) WOMAN: Stop. You two, over there. Come along, where's the rest of you? Come on, come on. We're going up to the castle now. All of you, come on. RORY: Why would they leave? AMY: And what did you mean about Mrs Poggit's nice old lady act? DOCTOR: One of my tawdry quirks. Sniffing out things that aren't what they seem. So, come on, let's think. The mechanics of this reality split we're stuck in. Time asleep exactly matches time in our dream world, unlike in conventional dreams. RORY: And we're all dreaming the same dream at the same time. DOCTOR: Yes, sort of communal trance. Very rare, very complicated. I'm sure there's a dream giveaway, a tell, but my mind isn't working because this village is so dull! I'm slowing down, like you two have. AMY: Ooo. Ow. Really. Ow! It's coming.  DOCTOR: Okay, you're a doctor, help her. RORY: You're a doctor. DOCTOR: It's okay, we're doctors. (The Doctor squats down to catch the baby.) RORY: What do we do? AMY: Okay, it's not coming. DOCTOR: What? AMY: This is my life now and it just turned you white as a sheet, so don't you call it dull again, ever. Okay? DOCTOR: Sorry. AMY: Yeah. [Playground] (Amy goes to sit on a swing as Mrs Poggit walks up the steps to the castle.) DOCTOR: Now, we all know there's an elephant in the room. AMY: I have to be this size, I'm having a baby. DOCTOR: No, no. The hormones seem real, but no. Is nobody going to mention Rory's ponytail? You hold him down, I'll cut it off? RORY: This from the man in the bow tie. DOCTOR: Bow ties are cool. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't hire Mrs Poggit as a babysitter. What's she doing? What does she want? (Tweet, tweet.) AMY: Oh, no. Here we go. [Tardis] AMY: It's really cold. Have you got any warm clothing? DOCTOR: What does it matter if we're cold? We have to know what she is up to. Sorry, sorry. There should be some stuff down there. Have a look. (Amy and Rory go down the steps. The Doctor goes underneath the console with a tin mug and opens a tool box. It contains a piece of rope, a bottle opener and a whisk.) RORY: I want the other life. You know, where we're happy and settled and about to have a baby. AMY: But don't you wonder, if that life is real, then why would we give up all this? Why would anyone? RORY: Because we're going to freeze to death? AMY: The Doctor'll fix it. RORY: Okay. Because we're going to get married? AMY: We can still get married some day. RORY: You don't want to any more. I thought you'd chosen me, not him. AMY: You are always so insecure. RORY: You ran off with another man. AMY: Not in that way. RORY: It was the night before our wedding. AMY: We're in a time machine. It can be the night before our wedding for as long as we want. RORY: We have to grow up eventually. AMY: Says who? (Amy gives Rory a blanket and they go back up the stairs. The Doctor has assembled the whisk, rope and bottle opener into a gizmo.) DOCTOR: Ah, Rory, wind. Amy, could you attach this to the monitor, please. RORY: I was promised amazing worlds. Instead I get duff central heating and a weird, kitcheny wind-up device. DOCTOR: It's a generator. Get winding. AMY: Not enough. DOCTOR: Rory, wind. RORY: Why is the Dream Lord picking on you? Why us? (The scanner comes to life.) AMY: Where are we? DOCTOR: We're in trouble. RORY: What is that? DOCTOR: A star. A cold star. (The Doctor opens the door.) DOCTOR: That's why we're freezing. It's not a heating malfunction. We're drifting towards a cold sun. There's our deadly danger for this version of reality. AMY: So this must be the dream. There's no such thing as a cold star. Stars burn. DOCTOR: So's this one. It's just burning cold. RORY: Is that possible? DOCTOR: I can't know everything. Why does everybody expect me to, always? RORY: Okay, this is something you haven't seen before. So does that mean this is the dream? DOCTOR: I don't know, but there it is, and I'd say we've got about fourteen minutes until we crash into it. But that's not a problem. RORY: Because you know how to get us out of this? DOCTOR: Because we'll have frozen to death by then. AMY: Oh, then what are we going to do? DOCTOR: Stay calm. Don't get sucked in to it, because this just might be the battle that we have to lose. RORY: Oh, this is so you, isn't it? DOCTOR: What? RORY: Huh, what? A weird new star, fourteen minutes left to live and only one man to save the day, huh? I just wanted a nice village and a family. DREAM LORD: Oh dear, Doctor. Dissent in the ranks. There was an old doctor from Gallifrey, who ended up throwing his life away. He let down his friends and (The Dream Lord looks startled as the bird song starts up.) DREAM LORD: Oh, no. We've run out of time. Don't spend too long there, or you'll catch your death here. [Ruined castle] DOCTOR: Where have the children gone? RORY: Don't know. Play time's probably over. (The Doctor scans the molehills and objects left next to them.) RORY: You see, this is the real one. I just feel it. Don't you feel it? AMY: I feel it both places. RORY: I feel it here. It's just so tranquil and relaxed. Nothing bad could ever happen here. AMY: Not really me, though, is it? I mean, would I be happy settling down in a place with a pub, two shops and a really bad Amateur Dramatics Society? That's why I got pregnant, so I don't have to see them doing Oklahoma. Doctor, what are you doing? And what are those piles of dust? DOCTOR: Play time's definitely over. AMY: Oh, my God. RORY: What happened to them? (The old people are walking along the street.) DOCTOR: I think they did. [Playground] AMY: They're just old people. DOCTOR: No, they're very old people. Sorry, Rory, I don't think you're what's been keeping them alive. DREAM LORD: Hello, peasants. What's this, attack of the old people? Oh, that's ridiculous. This has got to be the dream, hasn't it? What do you think, Amy? Let's all jump under a bus and wake up in the Tardis. You first. DOCTOR: Leave her alone. DREAM LORD: Do that again. I love it when he does that. Tall dark hero. Leave her alone. RORY: Just leave her. DREAM LORD: Yes, you're not quite so impressive, but I know where your heart lies, don't I, Amy Pond? AMY: Shut up. Just shut up and leave me alone. DREAM LORD: But listen. You're in there. Loves a redhead, the Doctor. Has he told you about Elizabeth the First? Well, she thought she was the first. DOCTOR: Drop it. Drop all of it. I know who you are. DREAM LORD: Course you don't. DOCTOR: Course I do. No idea how you can be here, but there's only one person in the universe who hates me as much as you do. DREAM LORD: Never mind me. Maybe you should worry about them. (The old people are walking across the grass. The Dream Lord vanishes.) RORY: Hi. Hello. DOCTOR: Hello, we were wondering where you went. To get reinforcements, by the look of it. Are you all right? You look a bit tense. RORY: Hello, Mister Nainby. DOCTOR: Rory. RORY: Mister Nainby ran the sweet shop. He used to slip me the odd free toffee. (Nainby grabs Rory by the collar and lifts him off his feet.) RORY: Did I not say thank you? (Rory gets thrown into the mud by the swings.) RORY: How did he do that? DOCTOR: I suspect he's not himself. Don't get comfortable here. You may have to run, fast. AMY: Can't we just talk to them? (The old people open their mouths, and an eye looks out.) AMY: There is an eye in her mouth. DOCTOR: There's a whole creature inside her. Inside all of them. They've been there for years, living and waiting. RORY: That is disgusting. They're not going to be peeping out of anywhere else, are they? (Mrs Poggit breaths a stream of green gas at them.) DOCTOR: Run. Okay, leave them, leave them. Talk to me. Talk to me. You are Eknodines. A proud, ancient race. you're better than this. (Rory and Amy run off.) DOCTOR: Why are you hiding away here? Why aren't you at home? POGGIT: We were driven from our planet by DOCTOR: Planet by upstart neighbours. NAINBY: So we've DOCTOR: Been living here inside the bodies of old humans for years. No wonder they live so long. You're keeping them alive. POGGIT: We were humbled and destroyed. Now we will do the same to others. DOCTOR: Okay. Makes sense, I suppose. Credible enough. Could be real. (A paper boy wheels his bicycle past.) LAD: Morning. (Mrs Poggit breaths on him and he turns to dust.) DOCTOR: You need to leave this planet. [Outside the cottage] AMY: Wait. Stop. (Four old people are advancing through the sheep meadow across the road.) RORY: After all I've done for the over seventies in this village. (Mrs Hamill is by the front door.) RORY: Okay, this is crazy. She loves me. I fixed her depression. She's just a little old lady. AMY: Mrs Hamill, we don't understand. (The Eknodine looks out of Mrs Hamill's mouth.) RORY: I'll deal with this one, Chubs. Now (They dodge the blast of green gas. Rory picks up a piece of wood.) RORY: I can't hit her. AMY: Tut. Whack her! (Rory swings and knocks Mrs Hamill down. They run inside.) [Cottage] AMY: We just ran away. We just abandoned the Doctor. Don't ever call me Chubs again. We don't see him for years, and somehow we don't really connect any more, and then, then he takes the bullet for us. (Rory is locking doors and windows, and building a barricade.) RORY: Hey, he'll be fine. You know the Doctor. He's Mister Cool. [Leadworth Butchers shop] (The Doctor is fighting the bird song's effect. Guess who is behind the counter?) DREAM LORD: Oh, I love a good butcher's, don't you? We've got to use these places or they'll shut down. Oh, but you're probably a vegetarian, aren't you, you big flop-haired wuss. DOCTOR: Oh, pipe down. I'm busy. DREAM LORD: Maybe you need a little sleep. (The Doctor slumps to the floor.) DREAM LORD: Oh, wait a moment. If you fall asleep here, several dozen angry pensioners will destroy you with their horrible eye things. (The Doctor gets up.) DREAM LORD: Fingers in the ear. Brilliant. What's next, shouting boo? Come in, come in. (The old people enter the shop.) DREAM LORD: Yes, we've got lots at steak here this week. Lots at steak, get it? Are these jokes wasted on you? DOCTOR: Wait, wait, stop. DREAM LORD: Oh. Oh, I can't watch. (The Doctor locks himself in a store room.) [Tardis] AMY: Ah, it's colder. DOCTOR: The three of us have to agree, now, which is the dream. RORY: It's this, here. AMY: He could be right. The science is all wrong here. Burning ice? DOCTOR: No, no, no. Ice can burn. Sofas can read. It's a big universe. We have to agree which battle to lose. All of us, now. AMY: Okay, which world do you think is real? DOCTOR: This one. RORY: No, the other one. DOCTOR: Yeah, but are we disagreeing or competing? AMY: Competing? Over what? Oh. DOCTOR: Nine minutes till impact. AMY: What temperature is it? DOCTOR: Outside? Brrr. How many noughts have you got? Inside? I don't know but I can't feel my feet and other parts. RORY: I think all my parts are basically fine. DOCTOR: Stop competing. (Rory picks up the Tardis telephone.) RORY: Can't we call for help? DOCTOR: Yeah, because the universe is really small and there's bound to be someone nearby. AMY: Put these on, both of you. (Amy has cut a slit in the middle of the blankets.) RORY: Oh, a poncho. The biggest crime against fashion since lederhosen. AMY: Here we go. My boys. My poncho boys. If we're going to die, let's die looking like a Peruvian folk band. RORY: We're not going to die. DOCTOR: No, we're not, but our time's running out. If we fall asleep here we're in trouble. If we could divide up, then we'd have an active presence in each world, but the Dream Lord is switching us between the worlds. Why? Why? what's the logic? DREAM LORD: Good idea, veggie. Let's divide you three up, so I can have a little chat with our lovely companion. Maybe I'll keep her, and you can have Pointy Nose to yourself for all eternity, should you manage to clamber aboard some sort of reality. RORY: Can you hear that? AMY: What? No. DOCTOR: Amy, don't be scared. We'll be back. (The Doctor and Rory fall asleep.) AMY: Rory, Doctor, don't leave me. DREAM LORD: Amy, we're going to have fun, aren't we? AMY: No, please, not alone. [Cottage] (Rory wakens to the sound of the front windows being smashed. Amy sleeps on the bottom of the stairs so he tries to drag her up them.) RORY: Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. (He lays her on the nursery floor.) RORY: Sorry. (He looks out of the window where the old people have got a battering ram and are also pushing at the Tardis. He jams the door handle with a chair and sits on it.) [Leadworth Butcher's shop] (The Doctor activates his sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Okay, where is it? (He gets the frequency, then opens the door and zaps the lights. The old people close their eyes and mouths, and he escapes.) [Leadworth] (Mister Nainby is attacking a camper van parked nearby.) MAN: Oh help, somebody. DOCTOR: Oh, you couldn't live near the shops, could you.  MAN: Help me! (The Doctor knocks Mister Nainby down and gets into the driver's seat.) DOCTOR: It's okay, it's only me. (They drive by the playground where a group of mothers is being attacked.) MAN: Get in, get in, get in. Quickly, quickly, over here. Quickly. Get in. DOCTOR: Come on, jump in. Quickly, get in now. Quickly. Hurry up. Are we in? (Then they rescue a family by a gate.) DOCTOR: Come on, let's go. MAN: Quickly, in here. DOCTOR: All four, quick. MAN: That's it. Clear. DOCTOR: Everyone in. [Tardis] (There is a thick layer of frost over everything.) DREAM LORD: Poor Amy. He always leaves you, doesn't he, alone in the dark. Never apologises. AMY: He doesn't have to. DREAM LORD: That's good, because he never will. And now he's left you with me. Spooky old, not to be trusted me. Anything could happen. AMY: Who are you, and what do you want? The Doctor knows you, but he's not telling me who you are. And he always does. Takes him a while sometimes, but he tells me. So you're something different. DREAM LORD: Oh, is that who you think you are? The one he trusts? AMY: Actually, yes. DREAM LORD: The only girl in the universe to whom the Doctor tells everything? AMY: Yes. DREAM LORD: So what's his name? Now, which one of these men would you really choose? Look at them. You ran away with a handsome hero. Would you really give him up for a bumbling country doctor who thinks the only thing he needs to be interesting is a ponytail? AMY: Stop it. DREAM LORD: But maybe it's better than loving and losing the Doctor. Pick a world, and this nightmare will all be over. They'll listen to you. It's you they're waiting for. Amy's men. Amy's choice. [Outside the church] (The Doctor gets rid of his passengers.) DOCTOR: Everybody, out, out, out. Into the church, that's right. Don't answer the door. (He drives off.) [Camper van] (The Dream Lord appears wearing a peach racing suit and holding a full face helmet.) DREAM LORD: It's make your mind up time in both worlds. DOCTOR: Fine. I need to find my friends. DREAM LORD: Friends? Is that the right word for the people you acquire? Friends are people you stay in touch with. Your friends never see you again once they've grown up. The old man prefers the company of the young, does he not? (The Dream Lord vanishes again, and the Doctor arrives outside the cottage to see the slow motion onslaught of the elderly.) DOCTOR: Okay. [Nursery] (Amy wakes up.) AMY: How did I get up here? RORY: I carried you. I'm afraid you may experience some bruising. AMY: Where's the Doctor? RORY: I don't know. I want to do something for you. (He gets a pair of scissors and cuts off his pony tail.) AMY: I was starting to like it. (The window opens, making them jump.) DOCTOR: Sorry. I had to stop off at the butcher's. RORY: What are we going to do? DOCTOR: I don't know. I thought the freezing Tardis was real but now I'm not so sure. AMY: Oh! I think the baby's starting. RORY: Honestly? AMY: Would I make it up at a time like this? RORY: Well, you do have a history of (gets a Look) being very lovely. Why are they so desperate to kill us? DOCTOR: They're scared. Fear generates savagery. (Something is thrown through a window. A gnome, I think. Mrs Poggit breaths at Rory, and some of the green gas touches him.) AMY: Rory! (The Doctor knocks Mrs Poggit off the porch roof.) RORY: No, I'm not ready. AMY: Stay. (Rory begins to turn to dust.) RORY: Look after our baby. AMY: No. No. Come back. Save him. You save everyone. You always do. It's what you do. DOCTOR: Not always. I'm sorry. AMY: Then what is the point of you? (Amy touches the pile of dust then gets up.) AMY: This is the dream. Definitely this one. Now, if we die here, we wake up, yeah? DOCTOR: Unless we just die. AMY: Either way, this is my only chance of seeing him again. This is the dream. DOCTOR: How do you know? AMY: Because if this is real life, I don't want it. I don't want it. [Outside the cottage] AMY: Why aren't they attacking? DOCTOR: Either because this is just a dream or because they know what we're about to do. (Amy holds out her hand for the camper van key.) DOCTOR: Be very sure. This could be the real world. AMY: It can't be. Rory isn't here. I didn't know. I didn't, I didn't, I honestly didn't, till right now. I just want him. DOCTOR: Okay. Okay. (Amy starts the engine. The Doctor looks at the Dream Lord then gets in the passenger side.) [Camper van] AMY: I love Rory, and I never told him. But now he's gone. (Amy revs the engine and drives the camper van through the pensioners and at the cottage.) [Tardis] (There's a thick layer of ice over everyone and everything now. First the Doctor, then Amy, then Rory wake up. Amy reaches for Rory's hand.) DREAM LORD: So, you chose this world. Well done. You got it right. And with only seconds left. Fair's fair. Let's warm you up. (The Tardis power is restored.) DREAM LORD: I hope you've enjoyed your little fictions. It all came out of your imagination, so I'll leave you to ponder on that. I have been defeated. I shall withdraw. Farewell. (The Dream Lord vanishes.) RORY: Something happened. I. What happened to me? I. (Amy hugs him.) RORY: Oh. Oh, right. This is good. I am liking this. Was it something I said? Could you tell what it was so I can use it in emergencies, and maybe birthdays. AMY: What are we doing now? DOCTOR: Me, I'm going to blow up the Tardis. RORY: What? DOCTOR: Notice how helpful the Dream Lord was? Okay, there was misinformation, red herrings, malice, and I could have done without the limerick. But he was always very keen to make us choose between dream and reality. AMY: What are you doing?. RORY: Doctor, the Dream Lord conceded. This isn't a dream. DOCTOR: Yes, it is. AMY: Stop him. DOCTOR: Star burning cold? Do me a favour. The Dream Lord has no power over the real world. He was offering us a choice between two dreams. AMY: How do you know that? DOCTOR: Because I know who he is. (KaBOOM. The Tardis is back to normal. Rory and Amy enter to see the Doctor looking at something small and yellow on his palm.) DOCTOR: Any questions? AMY: Er, what's that? DOCTOR: A speck of psychic pollen from the candle meadows of Karass don Slava. Must have been hanging around for ages. Fell in the time rotor, heated up and induced a dream state for all of us. (He takes it to the door and blows it into space.) RORY: So that was the Dream Lord then? Those little specks. DOCTOR: No, no. No. Sorry, wasn't it obvious? The Dream Lord was me. Psychic pollen. It's a mind parasite. It feeds on everything dark in you, gives it a voice, turns it against you. I'm nine hundred and seven. It had a lot to go on. AMY: But why didn't it feed on us, too? DOCTOR: The darkness in you pair, it would've starved to death in an instant. I choose my friends with great care. Otherwise, I'm stuck with my own company, and you know how that works out. AMY: But those things he said about you. You don't think any of that's true? DOCTOR: Amy, right now a question is about to occur to Rory. And seeing as the answer is about to change his life, I think you should give him your full attention. RORY: Yeah. Actually, yeah. DOCTOR: There it is. RORY: Because what I don't get is, you blew up the Tardis, that stopped that dream, but what stopped the Leadworth dream? AMY: We crashed the camper van. RORY: Oh, right. I don't remember that bit. AMY: No, you weren't there. You were already RORY: Already what? AMY: Dead. You died in that dream. Mrs Poggit got you. RORY: Okay. But how did you know it was a dream? Before you crashed the van, how did you know you wouldn't just die? AMY: I didn't. RORY: Oh. AMY: Yeah. RORY: Oh. AMY: Yeah, oh. (Rory kisses Amy, then she kisses him back.) DOCTOR: So, well then, where now? Or should I just pop down to the swimming pool for a few lengths? RORY: I don't know. Anywhere's good for me. I'm happy anywhere. It's up to Amy this time. Amy's choice. [Tardis] (The Tardis is tumbling out of control and going Bang! inside. It flies over the Millennium Dome with the Doctor dangling from the threshold, sonic screwdriver between his teeth and trying to pull himself back inside. They are heading straight for the Parliament Clock Tower, so the Doctor sonics the controls and changes course just in time. He climbs back inside and shuts the doors behind him, exhausted, as the Tardis careers on its way.) [Bedroom] (Night time. A pinwheel rattles in the overgrown garden of an old house. A little red-haired Scottish girl is saying her prayers.) AMELIA: Dear Santa. Thank you for the dolls and pencils and the fish. It's Easter now, so I hope I didn't wake you, but honest, it is an emergency. There's a crack in my wall. Aunt Sharon says it's just an ordinary crack, but I know it's not, because at night there's voices, so please, please, could you send someone to fix it? Or a policeman. Or a (She hears the Tardis materialising outside, then a crash.) AMELIA: Back in a moment. (She grabs a torch and looks outside. The Tardis has crash-landed on its side, on the garden shed.) AMELIA: Thank you, Santa. [Garden] (For only the second time ever, the Tardis doors open outwards - they are facing the sky - and a grappling hook is thrown out. A soaking wet Doctor clambers out.) DOCTOR: Could I have an apple? All I can think about. Apples. I love apples. Maybe I'm having a craving? That's new. Never had cravings before. (He sits on the edge of the Tardis and looks inside.) DOCTOR: Whoa. Look at that. AMELIA: Are you okay? DOCTOR: Just had a fall. All the way down there, right to the library. Hell of a climb back up. AMELIA: You're soaking wet. DOCTOR: I was in the swimming pool. AMELIA: You said you were in the library. DOCTOR: So was the swimming pool. AMELIA: Are you a policeman? DOCTOR: Why? Did you call a policeman? AMELIA: Did you come about the crack in my wall? What crack? Argh! (He falls to the ground.) AMELIA: Are you all right, mister? DOCTOR: No, I'm fine. It's okay. This is all perfectly norm (A breath of golden energy comes from his mouth.) AMELIA: Who are you? DOCTOR: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking. Does it scare you? AMELIA: No, it just looks a bit weird. DOCTOR: No, no, no. The crack in your wall. Does it scare you? AMELIA: Yes. DOCTOR: Well then, no time to lose. I'm the Doctor. Do everything I tell you, don't ask stupid questions, and don't wander off. (The Doctor walks straight into a tree.) AMELIA: Are you all right? DOCTOR: Early days. Steering's a bit off. [Kitchen] AMELIA: If you're a doctor, why does your box say Police? (The Doctor bites into an apple, then spits it out.) DOCTOR: That's disgusting. What is that? AMELIA: An apple. DOCTOR: Apple's rubbish. I hate apples. AMELIA: You said you loved them. DOCTOR: No, no, no. I like yoghurt. Yoghurt's my favourite. Give me yoghurt. (Amelia gets him a pot from the fridge. He pours it in his mouth and then spits it out.) DOCTOR: I hate yoghurt. It's just stuff with bits in. AMELIA: You said it was your favourite. DOCTOR: New mouth. New rules. It's like eating after cleaning your teeth. Everything tastes wrong. Argh! (The Doctor twitches violently.) AMELIA: What is it? What's wrong with you? DOCTOR: Wrong with me? It's not my fault. Why can't you give me any decent food? You're Scottish. Fry something. (So Amelia gets the frying pay out while the Doctor dries his hair with a towel.) DOCTOR: Ah, bacon! (That gets spat out, too.) DOCTOR: Bacon. That's bacon. Are you trying to poison me? (A saucepan of baked beans gets heated up.) DOCTOR: Ah, you see? Beans. (Until he gets them in his mouth, that is.) DOCTOR: Beans are evil. Bad, bad beans. Bread and butter. Now you're talking. [Front door] (The Doctor throws the plate of bread and butter out, hitting a cat.) DOCTOR: And stay out! [Kitchen] AMELIA: We've got some carrots. DOCTOR: Carrots? Are you insane? No. Wait. Hang on. I know what I need. I need, I need, I need fish fingers and custard. (The Doctor contentedly dips the fish fingers into a bowl of custard and eats, while Amelia has ice cream.  AMELIA: Funny. DOCTOR: Am I? Good. Funny's good. What's your name? AMELIA: Amelia Pond. DOCTOR: Oh, that's a brilliant name. Amelia Pond. Like a name in a fairy tale. Are we in Scotland, Amelia? AMELIA: No. We had to move to England. It's rubbish. DOCTOR: So what about your mum and dad, then? Are they upstairs? Thought we'd have woken them by now. AMELIA: I don't have a mum and dad. Just an aunt. DOCTOR: I don't even have an aunt. AMELIA: You're lucky. DOCTOR: I know. So, your aunt, where is she? AMELIA: She's out. DOCTOR: And she left you all alone? AMELIA: I'm not scared. DOCTOR: Course, you're not. You're not scared of anything. Box falls out of the sky, man falls out of a box, man eats fish custard, and look at you, just sitting there. So you know what I think? AMELIA: What? DOCTOR: Must be a hell of a scary crack in your wall. [Bedroom] (The crack is about three to four feet long, and slightly w shaped.) DOCTOR: You've had some cowboys in here. Not actual cowboys, though that can happen. AMELIA: I used to hate apples, so my mum put faces on them. (Amelia gives the Doctor an apple with a smiley face cut into it.) DOCTOR: She sounds good, your mum. I'll keep it for later. This wall is solid and the crack doesn't go all the way through it. So here's a thing. Where's the draught coming from? (He scans it with the sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey. You know what the crack is? AMELIA: What? DOCTOR: It's a crack. But I'll tell you something funny. If you knocked this wall down, the crack would stay put, because the crack isn't in the wall. AMELIA: Where is it then? DOCTOR: Everywhere. In everything. It's a split in the skin of the world. Two parts of space and time that should never have touched, pressed together right here in the wall of your bedroom. Sometimes, can you hear? AMELIA: A voice. Yes. (There is a vague growling from somewhere. The Doctor empties Amelia's nighttime glass of water and uses it to listen to the crack.) ATRAXI [OC]: Prisoner Zero has escaped. DOCTOR: Prisoner Zero? AMELIA: Prisoner Zero has escaped. That's what I heard. What does it mean? ATRAXI [OC]: Prisoner Zero has escaped. DOCTOR: It means that on the other side of this wall, there's a prison and they've lost a prisoner. And you know what that means? AMELIA: What? DOCTOR: You need a better wall. The only way to close the breach is to open it all the way. The forces will invert and it'll snap itself shut. Or AMELIA: What? DOCTOR: You know when grown-ups tell you everything's going to be fine and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? AMELIA: Yes. DOCTOR: Everything's going to be fine. (The Doctor takes little Amelia's hand and aims the sonic screwdriver at the crack. It widens, flooding the bedroom with bright light.) ATRAXI [OC]: Prisoner Zero has escaped. Prisoner Zero has escaped. DOCTOR: Hello? Hello? (A giant blue eye looks at them through the crack.) AMELIA: What's that? (A bolt of light goes to the Doctor, and he doubles over, then the crack closes again.) DOCTOR: There, you see? Told you it would close. Good as new. AMELIA: What's that thing? Was that Prisoner Zero? DOCTOR: No. I think that was Prisoner Zero's guard. Whatever it was, it sent me a message. Psychic paper. Takes a lovely little message. (reads) Prisoner Zero has escaped. But why tell us? Unless. AMELIA: Unless what? DOCTOR: Unless Prisoner Zero escaped through here. But he couldn't have. We'd know. [Corridor] (The stairs go up. There is a door across the way and two at the far end where the staircase goes down again.) DOCTOR: It's difficult. Brand new me. Nothing works yet. But there's something I'm missing. In the corner of my eye. (The Tardis Cloister Bell tolls.) DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! [Garden] DOCTOR: I've got to get back in there. The engines are phasing. It's going to burn! AMELIA: But it's just a box. How can a box have engines? DOCTOR: It's not a box. It's a time machine. AMELIA: What, a real one? You've got a real time machine? DOCTOR: Not for much longer if I can't get her stabilised. Five minute hop into the future should do it. AMELIA: Can I come? DOCTOR: Not safe in here. Not yet. Five minutes. Give me five minutes, I'll be right back. AMELIA: People always say that. DOCTOR: Am I people? Do I even look like people? Trust me. I'm the Doctor. (He jumps down into the Tardis.) DOCTOR [OC]: Geronimo! (Splash! The door close and the Tardis dematerialises. Amelia runs back to her room, gets a suitcase from underneath her bed and packs. The door across from hers is the bathroom. She doesn't notice that one of the doors at the end is now open. Dressed in duffel coat and wooly hat, Amelia sits on her suitcase in the garden and waits. (When the Tardis finally materialises, steaming, it is day and Amelia is not there. The Doctor stumbles out.) DOCTOR: Amelia! Amelia, I worked out what it was. I know what I was missing! You've got to get out of there! [Hallway] DOCTOR: Amelia? Amelia, are you all right? Are you there? (He runs up to her bedroom door.) DOCTOR: Prisoner Zero's here. Prisoner Zero is here! Prisoner Zero is here! Do you understand me? Prisoner Zero is (A floorboard creaks behind him. He turns and gets knocked out by a cricket bat.) [Coma ward] (At the Royal Leadworth Hospital, a lady doctor and a male nurse march into the ward.) RAMSDEN: So. They all called out at once, that's what you're saying? All of them. All the coma patients. You do understand that these people are all comatose, don't you? They can't speak. RORY: Yes, Doctor Ramsden. RAMSDEN: Then why are you wasting my time? RORY: Because they called for you. RAMSDEN: Me. BARNEY [OC]: Doctor. (The male coma patient behind them is speaking.) BARNEY: Doctor. Doctor. WOMAN PATIENT: Doctor. Doctor PATIENTS: Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. [Corridor] (The Doctor revives with the tweeting of birds to see a young lady in a micro-skirted police uniform using her radio.) AMY: White male, mid twenties, breaking and entering. Send me some back-up. I've got him restrained. Oi! You, sit still. DOCTOR: Cricket bat. I'm getting cricket bat. AMY: You were breaking and entering. (The Doctor is handcuffed to the radiator.) DOCTOR: Well, that's much better. Brand new me. Whack on the head, just what I needed. AMY: Do you want to shut up now? I've got back up on the way. DOCTOR: Hang on, no, wait. You're a policewoman. AMY: And you're breaking and entering. You see how this works? DOCTOR: But what are you doing here? Where's Amelia? AMY: Amelia Pond? DOCTOR: Yeah, Amelia. Little Scottish girl. Where is she? I promised her five minutes but the engines were phasing. I suppose I must have gone a bit far. Has something happened to her? AMY: Amelia Pond hasn't lived here in a long time. DOCTOR: How long? AMY: Six months. DOCTOR: No. No. No. No, I can't be six months late. I said five minutes. I promised. What happened to her? What happened to Amelia Pond? AMY: (into radio) Sarge, it's me again. Hurry it up. This guy knows something about Amelia Pond. [Coma ward] RAMSDEN: I don't think they were even conscious. RORY: Doctor Ramsden, there is another sort of er, funny thing. RAMSDEN: Yes, I know. Doctor Carver told me about your conversation. We've been very patient with you, Rory. You're a good enough nurse, but for God's sake. RORY: I've seen them. RAMSDEN: These patients are under twenty four hour supervision. We know if their blood pressure changes. There is no possibility that you could have seen them wandering about the village. Why are you giving me your phone? RORY: It's a camera too. (Doctor Ramsden's bleeper goes off.) RAMSDEN: You need to take some time off, Rory. A lot of time off. Start now. Now. [Corridor] DOCTOR: I need to speak to whoever lives in this house right now. AMY: I live here. DOCTOR: But you're the police. AMY: Yes, and this is where I live. Have you got a problem with that? DOCTOR: How many rooms? AMY: I'm sorry, what? DOCTOR: On this floor. How many rooms on this floor? Count them for me now. AMY: Why? DOCTOR: Because it will change your life. AMY: Five. One, two, three, four, five. DOCTOR: Six. AMY: Six? DOCTOR: Look. AMY: Look where? Exactly where you don't want to look. Where you never want to look. The corner of your eye. Look behind you. AMY: That's, that is not possible. How's that possible? DOCTOR: There's a perception filter all round the door. Sensed it the last time I was here. Should've seen it. AMY: But that's a whole room. That's a whole room I've never even noticed. DOCTOR: The filter stops you noticing. Something came a while ago to hide. It's still hiding, and you need to uncuff me now. AMY: I don't have the key. I lost it. DOCTOR: How can you have lost it? Stay away from that door! Do not touch that door! Listen to me, do not open that. Why does no-one ever listen to me? Do I just have a face that nobody listens to? (Amy goes inside the mystery room.) DOCTOR: Again. My screwdriver, where is it? [Room] (Dirty, boarded up window, packing boxes.) DOCTOR [OC]: Silver thing, blue at the end. Where did it go? AMY: There's nothing here. DOCTOR: Whatever's there stopped you seeing the room. [Corridor] DOCTOR: What makes you think you could see it? [Room] DOCTOR [OC]: Now please, just get out. AMY: Silver, blue at the end? DOCTOR [OC]: My screwdriver, yeah. AMY: It's here. [Corridor] DOCTOR: Must have rolled under the door. [Room] AMY: Yeah. Must have. And then it must have jumped up on the table. [Corridor] DOCTOR: Get out of there. [Room] DOCTOR [OC]: Get out of there! Get out! (Amy picks up the screwdriver, which is nearly stuck to the table with gunk.) [Corridor] DOCTOR: Get out of there! [Room] (Something snake-like with very long sharp teeth slithers down behind Amy.) DOCTOR [OC]: What is it? What are you doing? AMY: There's nothing here, but [Corridor] DOCTOR: Corner of your eye. [Room] "AMY; What is it?" DOCTOR [OC]: Don't try to see it. If it knows you've seen it, it will kill you. Don't look at it. Do not look. (Amy turns and finally stares it in the face. She screams.) [Corridor] DOCTOR: Get out! (Amy runs to the Doctor.) DOCTOR: Give me that. (The Doctor grabs the sonic screwdriver and locks the door, then tries to free himself.) DOCTOR: Come on. What's the bad alien done to you? AMY: Will that door hold it? Oh, yeah, yeah, of course. It's an interdimensional multiform from outer space. They're all terrified of wood. (There is a bright light in the room.) AMY: What's that? What's it doing? DOCTOR: I don't know. Getting dressed? Run. Just go. Your back up's coming. I'll be fine. AMY: There is no back up. DOCTOR: I heard you on the radio. You called for back up. AMY: I was pretending. It's a pretend radio. DOCTOR: You're a policewoman. AMY: I'm a kissogram! (She takes off her cap and her long red hair falls down. The door falls down to reveal a workman in overalls and toolbelt, with a black dog, He looks just like Barney the coma patient.) AMY: But it's just DOCTOR: No, it isn't. Look at the faces. (The man barks.) AMY: What? I'm sorry, but what? DOCTOR: It's all one creature. One creature disguised as two. Clever old multi-form. A bit of a rush job, though. Got the voice a bit muddled, did you? Mind you, where did you get the pattern from? You'd need a psychic link, a live feed. How did you fix that? (The coma patient has a photograph of a black dog by his bed, just to confirm the identification. The man in the corridor opens his mouth to reveal the long needle-like teeth.) DOCTOR: Stay, boy! Her and me, we're safe. Want to know why? She sent for back up. AMY: I didn't send for back-up! DOCTOR: I know. That was a clever lie to save our lives. Okay, yeah, no back up. And that's why we're safe. Alone, we're not a threat to you. If we had back up, you'd have to kill us. ATRAXI [OC]: Attention, Prisoner Zero. The human residence is surrounded. Attention Prisoner Zero. The human residence is surrounded. AMY: What's that? DOCTOR: Well, that would be back up. Okay, one more time. We do have back up and that's definitely why we're safe. ATRAXI [OC}: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. DOCTOR: Well, safe apart from, you know, incineration. ATRAXI [OC]: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. (The Doctor struggles with the sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Come on, work, work, work, come on. ATRAXI [OC]: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. (The Doctor finally frees himself from the handcuffs.) DOCTOR: Run! Run! ATRAXI [OC]: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. [Garden] DOCTOR: Kissogram? AMY: Yes, a kissogram. Work through it. DOCTOR: Why'd you pretend to be a policewoman? AMY: You broke into my house. It was this or a French maid. What's going on? Tell me. Tell me! DOCTOR: An alien convict is hiding in your spare room disguised as a man and a dog, and some other aliens are about to incinerate your house. Any questions? AMY: Yes. DOCTOR: Me too. No, no, no, no! Don't do that, not now! It's still rebuilding. Not letting us in. ATRAXI [OC]: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. AMY: Come on. DOCTOR: No, wait, hang on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. The shed. I destroyed that shed last time I was here. Smashed it to pieces. AMY: So there's a new one. Let's go. DOCTOR: Yeah, but the new one's got old. It's ten years old at least. Twelve years. I'm not six months late, I'm twelve years late. AMY: He's coming. DOCTOR: You said six months. Why did you say six months? AMY: We've got to go. DOCTOR: This matters. This is important. Why did you say six months? AMY: Why did you say five minutes! DOCTOR: What? AMY: Come on. DOCTOR: What? AMY: Come on! DOCTOR: What? ATRAXI [OC]: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. [Village lane] DOCTOR: You're Amelia. AMY: And you're late. DOCTOR: Amelia Pond. You're the little girl. AMY: I'm Amelia and you're late. DOCTOR: What happened? AMY: Twelve years. DOCTOR: You hit me with a cricket bat. AMY: Twelve years. DOCTOR: A cricket bat. AMY: Twelve years and four psychiatrists. DOCTOR: Four? AMY: I kept biting them. DOCTOR: Why? AMY: They said you weren't real. ATRAXI [OC]: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. Repeat. (It is coming from the Ice cream van speakers.) AMY: No, no, no, come on. What? We're being staked out by an ice-cream van. ATRAXI [OC]: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. DOCTOR: What's that? Why are you playing that? ICE CREAM MAN: It's supposed to be Claire De Lune. (It is also on the radio.) ATRAXI [OC]: Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. Repeat. Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. (It is also on a jogger's iPod and a woman's mobile phone.) AMY: Doctor, what's happening? ATRAXI [OC]: Repeat, Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. [Mrs Angelo's home] (The big eyeball is on every channel on the television. An elderly lady keeps jabbing at the remote control.) ATRAXI [on TV]: Repeat, Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. DOCTOR: Hello! Sorry to burst in. We're doing a special on television faults in this area. Also crimes. Let's have a look. MRS ANGELO: I was just about to phone. It's on every channel. Oh, hello, Amy dear. Are you a policewoman now? AMY: Well, sometimes. MRS ANGELO: I thought you were a nurse. AMY: I can be a nurse. MRS ANGELO: Or actually a nun? AMY: I dabble. MRS ANGELO: Amy, who is your friend? DOCTOR: Who's Amy? You were Amelia. AMY: Yeah? Now I'm Amy. DOCTOR: Amelia Pond. That was a great name. AMY: Bit fairy tale. MRS ANGELO: I know you, don't I? I've seen you somewhere before. DOCTOR: Not me. Brand new face First time on. And what sort of job's a kissogram? AMY: I go to parties and I kiss people. With outfits. It's a laugh. DOCTOR: You were a little girl five minutes ago. AMY: You're worse than my aunt. (The Doctor speaks to Mrs Angelo rather than Amy.) DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. I'm worse than everybody's aunt. And that is not how I'm introducing myself. ATRAXI [on radio]: Repetez. Le Prisonnier. Zero wird der menschliche. DOCTOR: Okay, so it's everywhere, in every language. They're broadcasting to the whole world. (The Doctor looks out of the window.) AMY: What's up there? What are you looking for? DOCTOR: Okay. Planet this size, two poles, your basic molten core? They're going to need a forty percent fission blast. (A young man comes in and the Doctor speaks to him.) DOCTOR: But they'll have to power up first, won't they? So assuming a medium sized starship, that's 20 minutes. What do you think, twenty minutes? Yeah, twenty minutes. We've got twenty minutes. AMY: Twenty minutes to what? JEFF: Are you the Doctor? MRS ANGELO: He is, isn't he? He's the Doctor! The Raggedy Doctor. All those cartoons you did when you were little. The Raggedy Doctor. It's him. AMY: (sotto) Shut up. DOCTOR: Cartoons? JEFF: Gran, it's him, isn't it? It's really him! AMY: Jeff, shut up. Twenty minutes to what? ATRAXI [on TV]: The human residence will be incinerated. Repeat. DOCTOR: The human residence. They're not talking about your house, they're talking about the planet. Somewhere up there, there's a spaceship, and it's going to incinerate the planet. ATRAXI [on TV]: will be incinerated. Repeat, Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. DOCTOR: Twenty minutes to the end of the world. ATRAXI [on TV]: Repeat, Prisoner Zero will vacate 'the human residence, or the human residence will be incinerated. [Space] (The eyeball is one of may snowflake cum icicle type spaceships above the Earth.) ATRAXI: Repeat. Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or the human residence will be incinerated. [Leadworth] (The Doctor and Amy walk down the middle of the road.) DOCTOR: What is this place? Where am I? AMY: Leadworth. DOCTOR: Where's the rest of it? AMY: This is it. DOCTOR: Is there an airport? AMY: No. DOCTOR: A nuclear power station? AMY: No. DOCTOR: Even a little one? AMY: No. DOCTOR: Nearest city? AMY: Gloucester. Half an hour by car. DOCTOR: We don't have half an hour. Do we have a car? AMY: No. DOCTOR: Well, that's good. Fantastic, that is. Twenty minutes to save the world and I've got a post office. And it's shut. What is that? AMY: It's a duck pond. DOCTOR: Why aren't there any ducks? AMY: I don't know. There's never any ducks. DOCTOR: Then how do you know it's a duck pond? AMY: It just is. Is it important, the duck pond? (The Doctor clutches his chest.) DOCTOR: I don't know. Why would I know? This is too soon. I'm not ready, I'm not done yet. AMY: What's happening? Why's it going dark? (A black disc covers the sun, like a total eclipse.) AMY: So what's wrong with the sun? DOCTOR: Nothing. You're looking at it through a forcefield. They've sealed off your upper atmosphere. Now they're getting ready to boil the planet. Oh, and here they come. The human race. The end comes, as it was always going to, down a video phone. AMY: This isn't real, is it? This is some kind of big wind up. DOCTOR: Why would I wind you up? AMY: You told me you had a time machine. DOCTOR: And you believed me. AMY: Then I grew up. DOCTOR: Oh, you never want to do that. No. Hang on. Shut up. Wait. I missed it. I saw it and I missed it. What did I see? I saw. What did I see? I saw, I saw, I saw (People all over the village green taking photographs of the sun, except duplicate Barney and his dog, and Rory photographing the people. The time is 11:30) DOCTOR: Twenty minutes. I can do it. Twenty minutes, the planet burns. Run to your loved ones and say goodbye, or stay and help me. AMY: No. DOCTOR: I'm sorry? AMY: No! DOCTOR: Amy, no, no, what are you doing? (Amy drags the Doctor to a car that has just pulled up and slams his tie in the door, then takes the keys from the driver and locks it.) DOCTOR: Are you out of your mind? AMY: Who are you? DOCTOR: You know who I am. AMY: No, really. Who are you? DOCTOR: Look at the sky. End of the world, twenty minutes. AMY: Well, better talk quickly, then. HENDERSON: Amy, I am going to need my car back. AMY: Yes, in a bit. Now go and have coffee. HENDERSON: Right, yes. (Mister Henderson does as he is told.) DOCTOR: Catch. (He tosses her the apple with the face carved in it. It is still fresh.) DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. I'm a time traveller. Everything I told you twelve years ago is true. I'm real. What's happening in the sky is real, and if you don't let me go right now, everything you've ever known is over. AMY: I don't believe you. DOCTOR: Just twenty minutes. Just believe me for twenty minutes. Look at it. Fresh as the day you gave it to me. And you know it's the same one. Amy, believe for twenty minutes. (Amy unlocks Mister Henderson's car.) AMY: What do we do? DOCTOR: Stop that nurse. (He runs onto the village green and grabs Rory's phone.) DOCTOR: The sun's going out, and you're photographing a man and a dog. Why? RORY: Amy. AMY: Hi! Oh, this is Rory, he's a friend. RORY: Boyfriend. AMY: Kind of boyfriend. RORY: Amy. DOCTOR: Man and dog. Why? RORY: Oh my God, it's him. AMY: Just answer his question, please. RORY: It's him, though. The Doctor. The Raggedy Doctor. AMY: Yeah, he came back. RORY: But he was a story. He was a game. DOCTOR: Man and dog. Why? Tell me now. RORY: Sorry. Because he can't be there. Because he's RORY + DOCTOR: In a hospital, in a coma. RORY: Yeah. DOCTOR: Knew it. Multiform, you see? Disguise itself as anything, but it needs a life feed. A psychic link with a living but dormant mind. (The man barks at them.) DOCTOR: Prisoner Zero. RORY: What? There's a Prisoner Zero too? AMY: Yes. (One of the pretty eyeball spaceships comes down.) DOCTOR: See, that ship up there is scanning this area for non-terrestrial technology. And nothing says non-terrestrial like a sonic screwdriver. (The Doctor makes all the streetlights explode, the car alarms go off and a poor woman's mobility scooter zoom off down the road. A fire engine goes past on its own, two tone blaring.) FIREMEN: Oi, come back here! Come back! DOCTOR: I think someone's going to notice, don't you? (He blows up a red telephone box, then the screwdriver explodes.) DOCTOR: No, no! No, don't do that! RORY: Look, it's going. DOCTOR: No, come back. He's here! Come back! He's here. Prisoner Zero is here. Come back, he's here! Prisoner Zero is (Prisoner Zero goes squidgy and disappears down a drain cover.) AMY: Doctor! The drain. It just sort of melted and went down the drain. DOCTOR: Well, of course it did. AMY: What do we do now? DOCTOR: It's hiding in human form. We need to drive it into the open. No Tardis, no screwdriver, seventeen minutes. Come on, think. Think! [Coma ward] (Patient Barney is shaking.) RAMSDEN: Barney? Barney? Barney? Can you hear me, Barney? Barney? Barney? (The multiform slithers through an air vent above Barney's bed.) [Leadworth] AMY: So that thing, that hid in my house for twelve years? DOCTOR: Multiforms can live for millennia. Twelve years is a pit-stop. AMY: So how come you show up again on the same day that lot do? The same minute! DOCTOR: They're looking for him, but they followed me. They saw me through the crack, got a fix, they're only late because I am. RORY: What's he on about? DOCTOR: Nurse boy, give me your phone. RORY: How can he be real? He was never real. DOCTOR: Phone. Now. Give me. RORY: He was just a game. We were kids. You made me dress up as him. (The Doctor flicks through the images on the iPhone.) DOCTOR: These photos, they're are all coma patients? RORY: Yeah. DOCTOR: No, they're all the multiform. Eight comas, eight disguises for Prisoner Zero. AMY: He had a dog, though. There's a dog in a coma? DOCTOR: Well, the coma patient dreams he's walking a dog, Prisoner Zero gets a dog. Laptop! Your friend, what was his name? Not him, the good-looking one. RORY: Thanks. AMY: Jeff. RORY: Oh, thanks. DOCTOR: He had a laptop in his bag. A laptop. Big bag, big laptop. I need Jeff's laptop. You two, get to the hospital. Get everyone out of that ward. Clear the whole floor. Phone me when you're done. AMY: Your car. Come on. RORY: But how can he be here? How can the Doctor be here? (Amy and Rory get into a proper Mini, not a BMW oversized wannabe.) [Jeff's bedroom] (Jeff is lounging on his bed, using his laptop.) DOCTOR: Hello. Laptop. Give me. JEFF: No, no, no, no, wait. DOCTOR: It's fine. Give it here. JEFF: Hang on! (The Doctor takes the laptop and sees what Jeff was browsing.) DOCTOR: Blimey. Get a girlfriend, Jeff. (Mrs Angelo enters.) JEFF: Gran. MRS ANGELO: What are you doing? DOCTOR: The sun's gone wibbly, so right now, somewhere out there, there's going to be a big old video conference call. All the experts in the world panicking at once, and do you know what they need? Me. Ah, and here they all are. All the big boys. NASA, Jodrell Bank, Tokyo Space Centre, Patrick Moore. MRS ANGELO: I like Patrick Moore. DOCTOR: I'll get you his number. But watch him, he's a devil. JEFF: You can't just hack in on a call like that. DOCTOR: Can't I? (Six faces come up on the screen, all labelled as above plus ESA and CSIRO. He shows them his psychic paper.) PATRICK MOORE [on screen]: Who are you? MAN [OC]: This is a secure call, what are you doing here? DOCTOR: Hello. Yeah, I know you should switch me off, but before you do, watch this. PATRICK MOORE [on screen]: It's here too, I'm getting it. DOCTOR: Fermat's Theorem, the proof. And I mean the real one. Never been seen before. Poor old Fermat, got killed in a duel before he could write it down. My fault. I slept in. Oh, and here's an oldie but a goodie. Why electrons have mass. And a personal favourite of mine, faster than light travel with two diagrams and a joke. Look at your screens. Whoever I am, I'm a genius. Look at the sun. You need all the help you can get. Fellas, pay attention. (Rory and Amy run into the hospital.) NASA [OC]: Sir, what are you doing? DOCTOR: I'm writing a computer virus. Very clever, super fast, and a tiny bit alive, but don't let on. And why am I writing it on a phone? Never mind, you'll find out. Okay, I'm sending this to all your computers. Get everyone who works for you sending this everywhere. Email, text, Facebook, Bebo, Twitter, radar dish, whatever you've got. Any questions? PATRICK MOORE [on screen]: Who was your lady friend? DOCTOR: Patrick, behave. MAN [OC]: What does this virus do? DOCTOR: It's a reset command, that's all. It resets counters. It gets in the wifi and resets every counter it can find. Clocks, calendars, anything with a chip will default at zero at exactly the same time. But yeah, I could be lying, why should you trust me? I'll let my best man explain. (sotto) Jeff, you're my best man. JEFF: You what? DOCTOR: Listen to me. In ten minutes, you're going to be a legend. In ten minutes, everyone on that screen is going to be offering you any job you want. But first, you have to be magnificent. You have to make them trust you and get them working. This is it, Jeff, right here, right now. This is when you fly. Today's the day you save the world. JEFF: Why me? DOCTOR: It's your bedroom. Now go, go, go. (The Doctor runs out.) JEFF: Okay, guys, let's do this. DOCTOR: Oh, and delete your internet history. [Hospital] RORY: Something's happened up there. We can't get through. "AMY; Yes, but what's happened?" "RORY; I don't know. No one knows. Phone him." AMY: I'm phoning him. Doctor? We're at the hospital, but we can't get through. RORY: What did he say? AMY: Look in the mirror. Ha ha! Uniform. Are you on your way? You're going to need a car. [Fire engine] DOCTOR: Don't worry, I've commandeered a vehicle. [Hospital corridor] (Rory and Amy run up the stairs. The coma ward floor is a mess.) AMY: Oh god. (A woman with two girls meets them in the corridor.) MOTHER: Officer. AMY: What happened? MOTHER: There was a man. A man with a dog. I think Doctor Ramsden's dead. And the nurses. (Amy makes a phone call.) [Fire engine] DOCTOR: Are you in? AMY [OC]: Yep. [Hospital corridor] AMY: But so's Prisoner Zero. [Fire engine] DOCTOR: You need to get out of there. [Hospital corridor] MOTHER [OC]: He was so angry. He kept shouting and shouting. And that dog. The size of that dog. (But it is not the mother who is speaking.) CHILD: I swear it was rabid. And he just went mad, attacking everyone. (Rory and Amy back away.) CHILD: Where did he go, did you see? Has he gone? We hid in the ladies. MOTHER: Oh, I'm getting it wrong again, aren't I? I'm always doing that. So many mouths. (She opens her mouth to reveal the needle teeth.) RORY: Oh, my God! [Fire engine] DOCTOR: Amy? Amy, what's happening? (Amy and Rory run into the ward and bar the doors with a broom through the handles.) DOCTOR: Amy, talk to me! [Coma ward] AMY: We're in the coma ward, but it's here. It's getting in. DOCTOR [OC]: Which window are you? AMY: What, sorry? [Fire engine] DOCTOR: Which window? [Coma ward] AMY: First floor, on the left, fourth from the end. (The broom finally gives up.) MOTHER: Oh, dear little Amelia Pond. I've watched you grow up. Twelve years, and you never even knew I was there. Little Amelia Pond, waiting for her magic Doctor to return. But not this time, Amelia. (Amy gets a text from Rory's phone. Duck! They do, and the fire engine ladder comes crashing through the window. Enter the Doctor.) DOCTOR: Right! Hello. Am I late? No, three minutes to go. So still time. MOTHER: Time for what, Time Lord? DOCTOR: Take the disguise off. They'll find you in a heartbeat. Nobody dies. MOTHER: The Atraxi will kill me this time. If I am to die, let there be fire. DOCTOR: Okay. You came to this world by opening a crack in space and time. Do it again. Just leave. MOTHER: I did not open the crack. "DOCTOR; Somebody did." MOTHER: The cracks in the skin of the universe, don't you know where they came from? You don't, do you? (She changes to a little girl's voice.) MOTHER: The Doctor in the Tardis doesn't know. Doesn't know. Doesn't know! (And back to the adult voice.) MOTHER: The universe is cracked. The Pandorica will open. Silence will fall. DOCTOR: And we're off! Look at that. Look at that! (The clock says 0:00.) "DOCTOR; Yeah, I know, just a clock. Whatever. But do you know what's happening right now? In one little bedroom, my team are working. Jeff and the world. And do you know what they're doing? They're spreading the word all over the world, quantum fast. The word is out. And do you know what the word is? The word is Zero. Now, me, if I was up in the sky in a battleship, monitoring all Earth communications, I'd probably take that as a hint. And if I had a whole battle fleet surrounding the planet, I'd be able track a simple old computer virus to its source in, what, under a minute? The source, by the way, is right here." (There is a bright light outside.) DOCTOR: Oh! And I think they just found us! MOTHER: The Atraxi are limited. While I'm in this form, they'll still be unable to detect me. They've tracked a phone, not me. DOCTOR: Yeah, but this is the good bit. I mean, this is my favourite bit. Do you know what this phone is full of? Pictures of you. Every form you've learned to take, right here. Ooo, and being uploaded about now. And the final score is, no Tardis, no screwdriver, two minutes to spare. Who da man? Oh, I'm never saying that again. Fine. MOTHER: Then I shall take a new form. DOCTOR: Oh, stop it. You know you can't. It takes months to form that kind of psychic link. MOTHER: And I've had years. (Amy collapses.) DOCTOR: No! Amy? You've got to hold on. Amy? Don't sleep! You've got to stay awake, please. RORY: Doctor. (Prisoner Zero has transformed into a gangly man with a ripped shirt and floppy hair.) DOCTOR: Well, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be? RORY: It's you. "DOCTOR; Me? Is that what I look like?" RORY: You don't know? DOCTOR: Busy day. Why me, though? You're linked with her. Why are you copying me? (A little girl comes from around a curtain and holds the duplicate's hand.) AMELIA: I'm not. Poor Amy Pond. Still such a child inside. Dreaming of the magic Doctor she knows will return to save her. What a disappointment you've been. DOCTOR: No, she's dreaming about me because she can hear me. Amy, don't just hear me, listen. Remember the room, the room in your house you couldn't see. Remember you went inside. I tried to stop, but you did. You went in the room. You went inside. Amy, dream about what you saw. AMELIA: No. No. No! (She transforms.) DOCTOR: Well done, Prisoner Zero. A perfect impersonation of yourself. ATRAXI [OC]: Prisoner Zero is located. Prisoner Zero is restrained. ZERO: Silence, Doctor. Silence will fall. (Prisoner Zero disappears in a rush of wind.) RORY: The sun. It's back to normal, right? That's, that's good, yeah? That means it's over. (Amy wakes up.) RORY: Amy. Are you okay? Are you with us? AMY: What happened? RORY: He did it. The Doctor did it. DOCTOR: No, I didn't. RORY: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Tracking the signal back. Sorry in advance. RORY: About what? DOCTOR: The bill. (The Doctor phones the Atraxi.) DOCTOR: Oi, I didn't say you could go! Article fifty seven of the Shadow Proclamation. This is a fully established level five planet, and you were going to burn it? What? Did you think no-one was watching? You lot, back here, now. Okay, now I've done it. RORY: Did he just bring them back? Did he just save the world from aliens and then bring all the aliens back again? [Hospital corridor] AMY: Where are you going? DOCTOR: The roof. No, hang on. [Doctor's locker room] "AMY; What's in here?" DOCTOR: I'm saving the world - I need a decent shirt. To hell with the raggedy. Time to put on a show. RORY: You just summoned aliens back to Earth. Actual aliens, deadly aliens, aliens of death, and now you're taking your clothes off. Amy, he's taking his clothes off. DOCTOR: Turn your back if it embarrasses you. RORY: Are you stealing clothes now? Those clothes belong to people, you know. (to Amy) Are you not going to turn your back? AMY: No. [Roof] (The Doctor walks out in a new shirt with several ties draped around his neck. The Atraxi is hovering overhead.) AMY: So this was a good idea, was it? They were leaving. DOCTOR: Leaving is good. Never coming back is better. Come on, then! The Doctor will see you now. (The eyeball drops onto the roof and scans the Doctor.) ATRAXI: You are not of this world. DOCTOR: No, but I've put a lot of work into it. (He looks at his selection of ties.) DOCTOR: Oh, hmm, I don't know. What do you think? ATRAXI: Is this world important? DOCTOR: Important? What's that mean, important? Six billion people live here. Is that important? Here's a better question. Is this world a threat to the Atraxi? Well, come on. You're monitoring the whole planet. Is this world a threat? (There is a projection of the world between them.) ATRAXI: No. DOCTOR: Are the peoples of this world guilty of any crime by the laws of the Atraxi? ATRAXI: No. DOCTOR: Okay. One more. Just one. Is this world protected? Because you're not the first lot to come here. Oh, there have been so many. (The projection shows the Daleks et al.) DOCTOR: And what you've got to ask is, what happened to them? (A run through of all the previous Doctors, then this Doctor steps through the projection with a jacket and bow tie.) DOCTOR: Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically, run. (The eyeball zooms back to its ship and leaves, very fast. There is a brief materialisation sound, then the Doctor takes a glowing Tardis key out of his new jacket pocket.) AMY: Is that it? Is that them gone for good? Who were they? (The Doctor is already down the stairs and running out of the hospital.) [Garden] (The Tardis is waiting for him.) DOCTOR: Okay, what have you got for me this time? [Tardis] DOCTOR: Look at you. Oh, you sexy thing! Look at you. (Amy and Rory run up just at it dematerialises. Night time. The sound of the Tardis wakes Amy up. She runs outside.) DOCTOR: Sorry about running off earlier. Brand new Tardis. Bit exciting. Just had a quick hop to the moon and back to run her in. She's ready for the big stuff now. AMY: It's you. You came back. DOCTOR: Course I came back. I always come back. Something wrong with that? AMY: And you kept the clothes. DOCTOR: Well, I just saved the world. The whole planet, for about the millionth time, no charge. Yeah, shoot me. I kept the clothes. AMY: Including the bow tie. DOCTOR: Yeah, it's cool. Bow ties are cool. AMY: Are you from another planet? DOCTOR: Yeah. AMY: Okay. DOCTOR: So what do you think? AMY: Of what? DOCTOR: Other planets. Want to check some out? AMY: What does that mean? DOCTOR: It means. Well, it means come with me. AMY: Where? DOCTOR: Wherever you like. AMY: All that stuff that happened. The hospital, the spaceships, Prisoner Zero. DOCTOR: Oh, don't worry, that's just the beginning. There's loads more. AMY: Yeah, but those things, those amazing things, all that stuff. That was two years ago. DOCTOR: Oh.! Oops. AMY: Yeah. DOCTOR: So that's AMY: Fourteen years! DOCTOR: Fourteen years since fish custard. Amy Pond, the girl who waited, you've waited long enough. AMY: When I was a kid, you said there was a swimming pool and a library, and the swimming pool was in the library. DOCTOR: Yeah. Not sure where it's got to now. It'll turn up. So, coming? AMY: No. DOCTOR: You wanted to come fourteen years ago. AMY: I grew up. DOCTOR: Don't worry. I'll soon fix that. (He opens the Tardis door and follows Amy in.) [Tardis] DOCTOR: Well? Anything you want to say? Any passing remarks? I've heard them all. AMY: I'm in my nightie. DOCTOR: Oh, don't worry. Plenty of clothes in the wardrobe. And possibly a swimming pool. So, all of time and space, everything that ever happened or ever will Where do you want to start? AMY: You are so sure that I'm coming. DOCTOR: Yeah, I am. AMY: Why? DOCTOR: Cause you're the Scottish girl in the English village, and I know how that feels. AMY: Oh, do you? DOCTOR: All these years living here, most of your life, and you've still got that accent. Yeah, you're coming. AMY: Can you get me back for tomorrow morning? DOCTOR: It's a time machine. I can get you back five minutes ago. Why, what's tomorrow? AMY: Nothing. Nothing. Just you know, stuff. DOCTOR: All right, then. Back in time for stuff. (A sonic screwdriver rises from a slot in the console.) DOCTOR: Oh! A new one! Lovely. Thanks, dear. (The Doctor uses an old typewriter wired into the console.) AMY: Why me? DOCTOR: Why not? AMY: No, seriously. You are asking me to run away with you in the middle of the night. It's a fair question. Why me? DOCTOR: I don't know. Fun. Do I have to have a reason? AMY: People always have a reason. DOCTOR: Do I look like people? "AMY; Yes." DOCTOR: Been knocking around on my own for a while. My choice, but I've started talking to myself all the time. It's giving me earache. AMY: You're lonely. That's it? Just that? DOCTOR: Just that. Promise. AMY: Okay. DOCTOR: So, are you okay, then? Because this place, sometimes it can make people feel a bit, you know. AMY: I'm fine. It's just, there's a whole world in here, just like you said. It's all true. I thought. Well, I started to think that maybe you were just like a madman with a box. DOCTOR: Amy Pond, there's something you'd better understand about me, because it's important, and one day your life may depend on it. I am definitely a madman with a box. Ha ha! Yeah. Goodbye Leadworth, hello everything. [Cwmtaff] (South Wales, 2020. An old mining village with half the homes boarded up. A man is helping a boy to read.) MO: But who is this creature with terrible claws, terrible teeth in his terrible jaws? Go on, your bit. He, he has. Go on. ELLIOT: I can't do it, Dad. I can listen to books, anyway. MO: I know it doesn't come easy, son, but you've got to keep at it. All right? You're not on your own with this. (A woman brings a lunch box.) AMBROSE: Mo, you'll be late for your shift. MO: Yeah, you're right. Sorry, El, got to go. Now, who loves you more than me? ELLIOT: No one. AMBROSE: Stop saying that. (Mo bicycles up to the mine, with its high tech equipment installed.) [Control room] COMPUTER: Approaching stage four target drilling depth. Stage four target drill depth scheduled in five, four, three, two, one. Stage four target drill depth achieved. Drill depth now twenty one kilometres. (Quiet celebrations. The Indian woman in charge makes a telephone call.) NASREEN: Hi. Nasreen here. Just to let you know we have just hit our new target. (The older man, Tony Mack, makes an announcement on the tannoy.) MACK: Twenty one kilometres, folks. Further than anyone's ever drilled into the Earth. Thanks for your amazing work. Have a great weekend. Onwards and downwards. NASREEN: How much further do you think we can we go, Mack? MACK: Into the unknown. Exciting, isn't it? NASREEN: Yeah. (Mo enters.) "MO; Aye, aye. Stop that. The real worker's here now." MACK: Evening, Mo. MO: Twenty one k? Whoo hoo. You wanted to grab all the glory before I come on shift. Right, off you go. Get out. My gaff for the night. (All alone with the computer screens, Mo gets the book out of his knapsack - the Gruffalo.) MO: Brilliant. (The ground starts shaking, then everything stops. The CCTV screens go dead one by one. The power fails so Mo takes a torch to check everything is okay.) [Store room] (There is a steaming hole in the floor.) MO: That is mad. (He reaches in and something grabs his arm.) MO: Oh, no. Please. (He struggles free and tries to escape, but he is pulled into the hole backwards, screaming.) [Graveyard] (The Tardis has landed.) DOCTOR: Behold, Rio. AMY: Nah. RORY: Not really getting the sunshine carnival vibe. DOCTOR: No? Ooo, feel that, though. What's that? (The Doctor jumps up and down.) DOCTOR: Ground feels strange. Just me. Wait. That's weird. RORY: What's weird? AMY: Doctor, stop trying to distract us. We're in the wrong place. Doctor, it's freezing and I've dressed for Rio. We are not stopping here. Doctor. You listening to me? It's a graveyard. You promised me a beach. DOCTOR: Blue grass. Patches of it all around the graveyard. So, Earth, 2020-ish, ten years in your future, wrong continent for Rio, I'll admit, but it's not a massive overshoot. AMY: Why are those people waving at us? (Two figures on the other side of the valley.) DOCTOR: Can't be. (Rory starts to wave back.) AMY: Don't. (The Doctor uses a pair of binoculars.) DOCTOR: It is. It's you two. RORY: No, we're here. How can we be up there? DOCTOR: Ten years in your future. Come to relive past glories, I'd imagine. Humans, you're so nostalgic. AMY: We're still together in ten years? RORY: No need to sound so surprised. AMY: Hey, let's go and talk to them. We can say hi to future us. How cool is that? DOCTOR: Er, no, best not. Really best not. These things get complicated very quickly, and oh look. Big mining thing. Oh, I love a big mining thing. See, way better than Rio. Rio doesn't have a big mining thing. AMY: We're not going to have a look, are we? DOCTOR: Let's go and have a look. Come on, you two, let's see what they're doing. RORY: If he can't get us to Rio, how's he ever going to get us back home? AMY: Did you not see over there? It all works out fine. RORY: After everything we've seen, we just drop back into our old lives? The nurse and the kissogram? AMY: I guess. He's getting away. RORY: Hang on. What are you doing with that? AMY: Engagement ring. I thought you liked me wearing it. RORY: Amy, you could lose it. Cost a lot of money, that. AMY: Hmm. Spoilsport. (Amy gives the ring to Rory.) RORY: Go on. I'll catch you both up. (He runs back to the Tardis.) AMY: Doctor. [Store room] MACK: The drill's shut down. There's no sign of Mo. Nobody's been in or out of the perimeter between last night and now. What's that? That wasn't there last night. How the hell did that get there? NASREEN: I don't know. [Graveyard] (Rory puts the ring back in its box and safely on the console. He comes out of the Tardis to meet Elliot's mum.) AMBROSE: Well, that was quick. RORY: Was it? AMBROSE: It's great that you came. ELLIOT: Bit retro. What is it, portable crime lab? RORY: Oh, er, sort of. AMBROSE: Ambrose Northover. I was the one who called. I run the meals on wheels for the whole valley. This is my son, Elliot. ELLIOT: Where's your uniform? AMBROSE: Don't be cheeky, Elliot. He's plain clothes. CID, is it? Anyway, it's over here. RORY: Er, okay. [Mine gates] DOCTOR: Restricted access. No unauthorised personnel. Hmm. (He sonicks the lock.) AMY: That is breaking and entering. DOCTOR: What did I break? Sonicking and entering. Totally different. AMY: Come on, then. DOCTOR: You're sure Rory'll catch us up? [Graveyard] (By an open grave.) AMBROSE: It's a family plot, see. My aunt Gladys died six years ago. Her husband, Alun, died a few weeks back. He lived in the house two doors down. There's not many of us left up here now. ELLIOT: Mum, he doesn't care about that. He wants to know about the dead bodies. AMBROSE: Yes. Sorry. Well, they always wanted to be buried in the same plot, together. But when we went to bury Uncle Alun, Gladys wasn't there. Gone. Body, coffin, everything. RORY: What? AMBROSE: The mad thing is, on the surface, the grave was untouched. No signs of it having been messed with. RORY: I'm sorry, I don't understand. AMBROSE: Nobody has touched the grave since my aunt was buried. But when they dug it open, the body was gone. How is that possible? [Tunnel] DOCTOR: What about now? Can you feel it now? AMY: Honestly, I've got no idea what you're on about. DOCTOR: The ground doesn't feel like it should. AMY: It's ten years in the future. Maybe how this ground feels is how it always feels. DOCTOR: Good thought, but no, it doesn't. Hear that, drill in start-up mode. Afterwaves of a recent seismological shift and blue grass. (Of which the Doctor has a few leaves. He tries eating one.) AMY: Oh, please. Have you always been this disgusting? DOCTOR: No, that's recent. What's in [Store room] DOCTOR: Here? Hello. NASREEN: Who are you? What're you doing here? And what're you wearing? AMY: I dressed for Rio. DOCTOR: Ministry of Drills, Earth and Science. New Ministry, quite big, just merged. It's lot of responsibility on our shoulders. Don't like to talk about it. What are you doing? NASREEN: None of your business. DOCTOR: Where are you getting these readings from? NASREEN: Under the soil. MACK: The drill's up and running again. What's going on? Who are these people? AMY: Amy, the Doctor. We're not staying, are we, Doctor? DOCTOR: Why's there a big patch of earth in the middle of your floor? NASREEN: We don't know. It just appeared overnight. DOCTOR: Good. Right. You all need to get out of here very fast. NASREEN: Why? DOCTOR: What's your name? NASREEN: Nasreen Chaudhry. DOCTOR: Look at the screens, Nasreen. Look at your readings. It's moving. MACK: Hey, that's specialised equipment. Get away from it. (Amy squats down by the hole.) NASREEN: What is? AMY: Doctor, this steam, is that a good thing? DOCTOR: Shouldn't think so. It's shifting when it shouldn't be shifting. NASREEN: What shouldn't? (Rumble.) DOCTOR: The ground, the soil, the earth, moving. But how? Why? AMY: Earthquake? MACK: What's going on? DOCTOR: Doubt it, because it's only happening under this room. (Two more holes appear in the floor, then three more.) DOCTOR: It knows we're here. It's attacking. The ground's attacking us. NASREEN: No, no that's not possible. DOCTOR: Under the circumstances, I'd suggest, run! (They do. More holes appear and Mack's foot does down one of them.) NASREEN: Tony! DOCTOR: Stay back, Amy. Stay away from the earth. (Amy jumps over a hole to help Mack.) AMY: It's okay. (A hole opens under Amy's feet.) AMY: It's pulling me down. DOCTOR: Amy! AMY: Doctor, help me. Something's got me. DOCTOR: Stay away from it. AMY: Doctor, the ground's got my legs. DOCTOR: I've got you. AMY: Okay. (Nasreen pulls Mack free.) AMY: Don't let go. DOCTOR: Never. AMY: Doctor, what is it, and why is it doing this? DOCTOR: Stay calm. Keep hold of my hand. Don't let go. Your drill, shut it down. Go. Now! (Nasreen and Mack run out.) AMY: Can you get me out? DOCTOR: Amy, try and stay calm. If you struggle, it'll make things worse. Keep hold of my hand. [Control room] NASREEN: Shut down all drilling activity as quick as you can. MACK: Reducing main unit power. [Store room] DOCTOR: I'm not going to let you go. (Their grip fails.) AMY: Doctor, it's pulling me down. Something's pulling me. DOCTOR: Stay calm. Now, hold on till they can just shut down the drill. AMY: I can't hold on! [Control room] NASREEN: Tony, we've got to be faster. MACK: I'm doing my best. Come on, shut down. [Store room] AMY: What's pulling me? What is under the earth? I don't want to suffocate under there. DOCTOR: Amy, concentrate. Don't you give up. AMY: Tell Rory DOCTOR: No. Amy! Amy, no! (Amy disappears below the soil.) DOCTOR: No! No! No! No! No. No! No. No. No. No. (etc etc) (The sonic screwdriver cannot help either. Nasreen and Mack run in.) NASREEN: Where is she? DOCTOR: She's gone. The ground took her. [Graveyard] (Rory is in the grave cut, investigating.) ELLIOT: Do you want sugar? RORY: Sorry? ELLIOT: In your tea. Mum's asking. RORY: No. Just white, thanks. ELLIOT: There's only one explanation, as far as I can see. RORY: What's that, then? ELLIOT: The graves eat people. Devour them whole, leaving no trace. RORY: Not sure about that. ELLIOT: They didn't steal the body from above. They couldn't have got in from the sides. Only other thing is, they get in from underneath. RORY: Not very likely, though. ELLIOT: When you've eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. RORY: Sorry? ELLIOT: Sherlock Holmes. Got the audiobook. The graves round here eat people. [Store room] MACK: Is that what happened to Mo? Are they dead? DOCTOR: It's not quicksand. She didn't just sink. Something pulled her in. It wanted her. NASREEN: The ground wanted her? DOCTOR: You said the ground was dormant. Just a patch of earth, when you first saw it this morning. And the drill had been stopped. MACK: That's right. DOCTOR: But when you re-started the drill, the ground fought back. NASREEN: So what, the ground wants to stop us drilling? Doctor, that is ridiculous. DOCTOR: I'm not saying that, and it's not ridiculous, I just don't think it's right. Oh, of course. It's bio-programming. NASREEN: What? DOCTOR: Bio-programming. Oh, it's clever. You use bio-signals to resonate the internal molecular structure of natural objects. It's mainly used in engineering and construction, mostly jungle planets, but that's way in the future and not here. What's it doing here? NASREEN: Sorry, did you just say jungle planets? MACK: You're not making any sense, man. DOCTOR: Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up. The earth, the ground beneath our feet, was bio-programmed to attack. NASREEN: Yeah, even if that were possible, which, by the way, it's not, why? DOCTOR: Stop you drilling. Okay, so we find whatever's doing the bio-programming, we can find Amy. We can get her back. Shush, shush, shush. Have I gone mad? I've gone mad. NASREEN: Doctor. DOCTOR: Shush, shush. Silence. Absolute silence. You've stopped the drill, right? NASREEN: Yes. DOCTOR: And you've only got the one drill? NASREEN: Yes. DOCTOR: You're sure about that? MACK: Yes. DOCTOR: So, if you shut the drill down, why can I still hear drilling? It's under the ground. MACK: That's not possible. (The Doctor sonicks the computers nearby.) "NASREEN; Oh no, what, what are you doing?" DOCTOR: Hacking into your records. Probe reports, samples, sensors. Good. Just unite the data, make it all one big conversation. Let's have a look. So, we are here and this is your drill hole. Twenty one point zero zero nine kilometres. Well done. NASREEN: Thank you. It's taken us a long time. DOCTOR: Why here, though? Why'd you drill on this site? "NASREEN; We found patches of grass in this area, containing trace minerals unseen in this country for twenty million years." DOCTOR: The blue grass? Oh, Nasreen. Those trace minerals weren't X marking the spot, saying dig here. They were a warning. Stay away. Because while you've been drilling down, somebody else has been drilling up. (The deep sensor readings resolve themselves on the screen.) DOCTOR: Oh, beautiful. Network of tunnels all the way down. MACK: No, no, we've surveyed that area. DOCTOR: You only saw what you went looking for. "NASREEN; What are they?" DOCTOR: Heat signals. Wait, dual readings, hot and cold, doesn't make sense. And now they're moving. Fast. How many people live nearby? MACK: Just my daughter and her family. The rest of the staff travel in. DOCTOR: Grab this equipment and follow me. NASREEN: Why? What're we doing? DOCTOR: That noise isn't a drill, it's transport. Three of them, thirty kilometres down. Rate of speed looks about a hundred and fifty kilometres an hour. Should be here in ooo, quite soon. Twelve minutes. Whatever bio-programmed the Earth is on its way up, now. [Cwmtaff] MACK: How can something be coming up when there's only the Earth's crust down there? DOCTOR: You saw the readings. NASREEN: Who are you, anyway? How can you know all this? (Slow red lightning in the sky.) NASREEN: Whoa, did you see that? DOCTOR: No, no, no. (The Doctor uses his catapult to fire a stone into the air. It hits an energy shield and vapourises.) DOCTOR: Energy signal originating from under the Earth. We're trapped. RORY: Doctor, something weird's going on here, the graves are eating people. DOCTOR: Not now, Rory. Energy barricade, invisible to the naked eye. We can't get out and no one from the outside world can get in. RORY: What? Okay, what about the Tardis? NASREEN: The what? DOCTOR: Er, no. Those energy patterns would play havoc with the circuits. With a bit of time, maybe, but we've only got nine and a half minutes. RORY: Nine and a half minutes to what? NASREEN: We're trapped, and something's burrowing towards the surface. RORY: Where's Amy? DOCTOR: Get everyone inside the church. Rory, I'll get her back. RORY: What do you mean, get her back? Where's she gone? DOCTOR: She was taken. Into the Earth. RORY: How? Why didn't you stop it? DOCTOR: I tried. I promise, I tried. RORY: Well, you should've tried harder! DOCTOR: I'll find Amy. I'll keep you all safe, I promise. Come on, please. I need you alongside me. (Somewhere, Amy is being scanned by green light.) [Church porch] AMBROSE: Where's Mo? Is he with you? MACK: This flaming door. Always sticking. I thought you were having it fixed. AMBROSE: Dad! ELLIOT: Something's happened to him, hasn't it? [Church] (A nice stained glass window behind the altar, but the small building is just used for storage now.) AMBROSE: So we can't get out, we can't contact anyone, and something, the something that took my husband, is coming up through the Earth. DOCTOR: Yes. If we move quickly enough, we can be ready. AMBROSE: No, stop. This has gone far enough. What is this? MACK: He's telling the truth, love. AMBROSE: Come on. It's not the first time we've had no mobile or phone signals. Reception's always rubbish. NASREEN: Look, Ambrose. We saw the Doctor's friend get taken, okay? You saw the lightning in the sky. I have seen the impossible today, and the only person who's made any sense of it for me, is the Doctor. AMBROSE: Him? DOCTOR: Me. ELLIOT: Can you get my dad back? DOCTOR: Yes. But I need you to trust me and do exactly as I say from this second onwards, because we're running out of time. AMBROSE: So tell us what to do. DOCTOR: Thank you. We have eight minutes to set up a line of defence. Bring me every phone, every camera, every piece of recording or transmitting equipment you can find. [Graveyard] DOCTOR: Every burglar alarm, every movement sensor, every security light. I want the whole area covered with sensors. [Church] (The equipment is set up. The dots are still heading up towards the surface on the computer screens.) DOCTOR: Right, guys, we need to be ready for whatever's coming up. I need a map of the village marking where the cameras are going. ELLIOT: I can't do the words. I'm dyslexic. DOCTOR: Oh, that's all right, I can't make a decent meringue. Draw like your life depends on it, Elliot. MACK: Six minutes forty. (Five minutes to go. The new CCTV array is ready.) MACK: Works in quadrants. Every movement sensor and trip light we've got. If anything moves, we'll know. DOCTOR: Good lad. [Cwmtaff] (Four minutes, and the Doctor is examining the inside of Ambrose's meals on wheels van.) AMBROSE: Oi! What're you doing? DOCTOR: Resources. Every little helps. Meals on wheels. What've you got here, then. Warmer in the front, refrigerated in the back. (Ambrose puts an armful of rifles and a cricket bat on the seat.) AMBROSE: Bit chilly for a hideout, mind. DOCTOR: What are those? AMBROSE: Like you say, every little helps. DOCTOR: No, no weapons. It's not the way I do things. AMBROSE: You said we're supposed to be defending ourselves. DOCTOR: Oh, Ambrose, you're better than this. I'm asking nicely. Put them away. [Church] (Less than three and a half minutes. Elliot runs in with his map.) DOCTOR: Look at that. Perfect. Dyslexia never stopped Da Vinci or Einstein. It's not stopping you. ELLIOT: I don't understand what you're going to do. DOCTOR: Two phase plan. First, the sensors and cameras will tell us when something arrives. Second, if something does arrive, I use this to send a sonic pulse through that network of devices. A pulse which would temporarily incapacitate most things in the universe. ELLIOT: Knock 'em out. Cool. DOCTOR: Lovely place to grow up round here. ELLIOT: Suppose. I want to live in a city one day. Soon as I'm old enough, I'll be off. DOCTOR: I was the same where I grew up. ELLIOT: Did you get away? DOCTOR: Yeah. ELLIOT: Do you ever miss it? DOCTOR: So much. ELLIOT: Is it monsters coming? Have you met monsters before? DOCTOR: Yeah. ELLIOT: You scared of them? DOCTOR: No, they're scared of me. ELLIOT: Will you really get my dad back? DOCTOR: No question. ELLIOT: I left my headphones at home. (One minute.) [Graveyard] DOCTOR: How're you doing? (Rory is completing the sensor array.) RORY: It's getting darker. How can it be getting dark so quickly? DOCTOR: Shutting out light from within the barricade. Trying to isolate us in the dark. Which means (Rumble.) DOCTOR: It's here. [Church] NASREEN: They're close to the surface now. (She puts her hand on Mack's then they embrace and kiss.) NASREEN: Tony. MACK: Like you didn't know. (Zero. The dots stop moving.) [Church porch] AMBROSE: I can't open it. It keeps sticking. The wood's warped. DOCTOR: Any time you want to help. RORY: Can't you sonic it? DOCTOR: It doesn't do wood. RORY: That is rubbish. DOCTOR: Oi, don't diss the sonic. (Three shoulders force the door open.) [Church] (The ground starts shaking. Stacked objects begin to tumble.) DOCTOR: See if we can get a fix. (The lights explode.) MACK: No power. DOCTOR: It's deliberate. RORY: What do we do now? DOCTOR: Nothing. We've got nothing. They sent an energy surge to wreck our systems. RORY: Is everyone okay? Is anyone hurt? NASREEN: I'm fine. AMBROSE: Me too. (Big rumble.) RORY: Doctor, what was that? MACK: It's like the holes at the drill station. NASREEN: Is this how they happened? DOCTOR: It's coming through the final layer of Earth. NASREEN: What is? (Silence falls.) MACK: The banging's stopped. AMBROSE: Where's Elliot? Has anyone seen Elliot? Did he come in? Was he in when the door was shut? Who counted him back in? Who saw him last? DOCTOR: I did. AMBROSE: Where is he? DOCTOR: He said he was going to get headphones. AMBROSE: And you let him go? He was out there on his own? [Church porch] (Something is moving in the graveyard.) ELLIOT: Mum! Grandpa Tony! Let me in! [Church] AMBROSE: Elliot! ELLIOT [OC]: Let me in. AMBROSE: He's out there. Help me! [Church porch] ELLIOT: Open the door. Mum! There's something out here. [Church] AMBROSE: Push, Elliot. [Church porch] (Something flashes past.) AMBROSE [OC]: Push, Elliot. Give it a shove. ELLIOT: Mum. Hurry up. (Something looks down on Elliot.) ELLIOT: Mum. [Church] MACK: Come on. (The door finally opens.) [Church porch] AMBROSE: Elliot! Where is he? He was here. He was here. Elliot! DOCTOR: Ambrose, don't go running off! MACK: Ambrose! [Graveyard] AMBROSE: Elliot, it's Mum. (She finds his headphones on the ground.) AMBROSE: Nooo! (Something knocks her over.) AMBROSE: Get off me! (Mack grabs it from behind. It wriggles free. He shines his torch on a human sized reptilian biped. It flicks its extensible tongue and hurts his neck, then gets away.) AMBROSE: Dad! DOCTOR: What happened? AMBROSE: My dad's hurt. DOCTOR: Get him into the church now. AMBROSE: Elliot's gone. They've killed him, haven't they? DOCTOR: I don't think so. They've taken three people when they could've just killed them up here. There's still hope, Ambrose. There is always hope. AMBROSE: Then why have they taken him? DOCTOR: I don't know. I'll find Elliot, I promise. But first I've got to stop this attack. Please, get inside the church. AMBROSE: Come on, Dad. RORY: So what now? [Cwmtaff] (The Doctor dons a pair of infra red sunglasses. He spots a dark shape moving through the bushes.) DOCTOR: Cold blood. I know who they are. (He goes to the van and gets the CO2 fire extinguisher. Something hisses nearby and he lets it off. It screams. Rory bursts out of the back of the van, and he and the Doctor bundle it inside.) RORY: We got it. DOCTOR: Defending the planet with meals on wheels. (Their high five is interrupted by another rumble.) RORY: What was that? DOCTOR: Sounds like they're leaving. RORY: Without this one? (The energy dome becomes transparent, letting the sunshine in.) RORY: Looks like we scared them off. DOCTOR: I don't think so. Now both sides have hostages. [Underground] (Amy wakes up in a glass coffin, for want of a better description at present.) AMY: Let me out. Can anybody hear me? I'm alive in here! Let me out! I know you're out there. My name is Amy Pond and you'd better get me the hell out of here or so help me I am going to kick your backside. Please? (A figure leans over her.) FIGURE: Shush. AMY: Did you just shush me? Did you just shush me? (Gas enters the coffin.) AMY: No, no, no. No, don't do that. No gas. No gas! (Amy coughs and passes out. ) [Graveyard] DOCTOR: So, I think I've met these creatures before. Different branch of the species, mind, but all the same. Let's see if our friend's thawed out. [Crypt] RORY: Are you sure? By yourself? DOCTOR: Very sure. RORY: But the sting? DOCTOR: Venom gland takes at least twenty four hours to recharge. Am I right? I know what I'm doing. I'll be fine. (Rory leaves. Their prisoner moves out of the shadows, her chains rattling.) DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. I've come to talk. I'm going to remove your mask. (The mask looks like a reptile face, with very big black eyes. He removes it gently.) DOCTOR: You are beautiful. Remnant of a bygone age on planet Earth. And by the way, lovely mode of travel. Geothermal currents projecting you up through a network of tunnels. Gorgeous. Mind if I sit? Now. Your people have a friend of mine. I want her back. Why did you come to the surface? What do you want? Oh, I do hate a monologue. Give us a bit back. How many are you? ALAYA: I'm the last of my species. DOCTOR: Really. No. Last of the species. The Klempari Defence. As an interrogation defence, it's a bit old hat, I'm afraid. ALAYA: I'm the last of my species. DOCTOR: No. You're really not. Because I'm the last of my species and I know how it sits in a heart. So don't insult me. Let's start again. Tell me your name. ALAYA: Alaya. DOCTOR: How long has your tribe been sleeping under the Earth, Alaya? It's not difficult to work out. You're three hundred million years out of your comfort zone. Question is, what woke you now? ALAYA: We were attacked. DOCTOR: The drill. ALAYA: Our sensors detected a threat to our life support systems. The warrior class was activated to prevent the assault. We will wipe the vermin from the surface and reclaim our planet. DOCTOR: Do we have to say vermin? They're really very nice. ALAYA: Primitive apes. DOCTOR: Extraordinary species. You attack them, they'll fight back. But, there's a peace to be brokered here. I can help you with that. ALAYA: This land is ours. We lived here long before the apes. DOCTOR: Doesn't give you automatic rights to it now, I'm afraid. Humans won't give up the planet. ALAYA: So we destroy them. DOCTOR: You underestimate them. ALAYA: You underestimate us. DOCTOR: One tribe of homo reptilia against six billion humans? You've got your work cut out. ALAYA: We did not initiate combat, but we can still win. DOCTOR: Tell me where my friend is. Give us back the people who were taken. ALAYA: No. DOCTOR: I'm not going let you provoke a war, Alaya. There'll be no battle here today. ALAYA: The fire of war is already lit. A massacre is due. DOCTOR: Not while I'm here. ALAYA: I'll gladly die for my cause. What will you sacrifice for yours? [Church] RORY: You're going to what? DOCTOR: I'm going to go down below the surface, to find the rest of the tribe, to talk to them. AMBROSE: You're going to negotiate with these aliens? DOCTOR: They're not aliens. They're Earth-liens. Once known as the Silurian race, or, some would argue, Eocenes, or Homo Reptilia. Not monsters, not evil. Well, only as evil as you are. The previous owners of the planet, that's all. Look, from their point of view, you're the invaders. Your drill was threatening their settlement. Now, the creature in the crypt. Her name's Alaya. She's one of their warriors, and she's my best bargaining chip. I need her alive. If she lives, so do Elliot and Mo and Amy, because I will find them. While I'm gone, you four people, in this church, in this corner of planet Earth, you have to be the best of humanity. MACK: And what if they come back? Shouldn't we be examining this creature? Dissecting it, finding its weak points? DOCTOR: No dissecting, no examining. We return their hostage, they return ours, nobody gets harmed. We can land this together, if you are the best you can be. You are decent, brilliant people. Nobody dies today. Understand? (Nasreen applauds the speech.) [Graveyard] (Nasreen follows the Doctor to the Tardis.) DOCTOR: No, sorry, no. What are you doing? NASREEN: Coming with you, of course. What is it, some kind of transport pod? DOCTOR: Sort of, but you're not coming with me. MACK: He's right. You're not. NASREEN: I have spent all my life excavating the layers of this planet, and now you want me to stand back while you head down into it? I don't think so. DOCTOR: I don't have time to argue. NASREEN: I thought we were in a rush.  DOCTOR: It'll be dangerous. NASREEN: Oh, so's crossing the road. DOCTOR: Oh, for goodness sake. All right, then. Come on. MACK: Hey. Come back safe. NASREEN: Of course. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Welcome aboard the Tardis. Now, don't touch anything. Very precious. NASREEN: No way. But, but that's, this is fantastic. What does it do? DOCTOR: Everything. I'm hoping, if we're going down, that barricade won't interfere. (They get knocked off their feet.) DOCTOR: Did you touch something? NASREEN: No. Isn't this what it does? DOCTOR: I'm not doing anything. We've been hijacked. I can't stop it. They must've sensed the electro-magnetic field. They're pulling the Tardis down into the Earth. [Crypt] ALAYA: You had to come and see me. RORY: We are going to keep you safe. AMBROSE: Your tribe are going to give us back our people in exchange for you. ALAYA: No. Shall I tell you what's really going to happen, apes? One of you will kill me. My death shall ignite a war, and every stinking ape shall be wiped from the surface of my beloved planet. MACK: We won't allow that to happen. ALAYA: I know apes better than you know yourselves. I know which one of you will kill me. Do you? (Alone, Mack checks his injury in an old mirror. Green veins are spreading from it down to his chest.) [Tardis] (The Tardis comes to a sudden stop, throwing the Doctor and Nasreen to the floor.) NASREEN: Where are we? [Tunnel] (Loose soil is raining down, gently, from the hole above the Tardis.) DOCTOR: Looks like we fell through the bottom of their tunnel system. Don't suppose it was designed for handling something like this. NASREEN: How far down are we? DOCTOR: Oh, a lot more than twenty one kilometres. NASREEN: So why aren't we burning alive? DOCTOR: Don't know. Interesting, isn't it? NASREEN: It's like this is everyday to you. DOCTOR: Not every day. Every other day. [Laboratory] (Amy wakes up strapped to a near vertical examination table.) MO: Don't struggle. Close your eyes and don't struggle. AMY: What? Where am I? Why can't I move my body? MO: Decontamination, they call it. They did it to me while I was conscious. AMY: Okay, you're freaking me out now. Did what? Who did? MO: Dissected me. (He has a lovely scar running from sternum to naval.) AMY: No. MO: He's coming. I'm sorry. I wish I could help you. (A Silurian scientist approaches with a scalpel.) [Tunnel] DOCTOR: We're looking for a small tribal settlement probably housing around a dozen Homo Reptilia? Maybe less. (Nasreen goes down a side passage and stops.) NASREEN: One small tribe. DOCTOR: Yeah. "NASREEN; Maybe a dozen?" DOCTOR: Ah. (They look down on a vast chamber.) DOCTOR: Maybe more than a dozen. Maybe more like an entire civilisation living beneath the Earth. ELDANE [OC]: This is the story of our planet, Earth. Of the day a thousand years past when we came to share it with a race know as Humanity. It is the story of the Doctor, who helped our races find common ground, and the terrible losses he suffered. It is the story of our past and must never be forgotten. [City] DOCTOR: This place is enormous and deserted. The majority of the race are probably still asleep. We need to find Amy. Looking for heat signature anomalies. NASREEN: But Doctor, how can all this be here? I mean, these plants. DOCTOR: Must be getting closer to the centre of the city. NASREEN: You're sure this is the best way to enter? DOCTOR: Front door approach. Definitely. Always the best way. (Alarms sound.) COMPUTER: Hostile life forms detected area seventeen. DOCTOR: Apart from the back door approach. That's also good. Sometimes better. COMPUTER: Hostile life forms detected area seventeen. NASREEN: Doctor. (Warriors approach from both sides.) COMPUTER: Hostile life forms detected area seventeen. DOCTOR: We're not hostile. We're not armed. We're here in peace. (A warrior steps forward and gasses them with its weapon.) [Laboratory] AMY: Don't you come near me with that. (The scientist makes an audio note.) MALOHKEH: From the clothing, the human female appears to be more resistant to the cold than the male. AMY: I dressed for Rio! MO: Leave her alone. You've got me. (Amy's wrists are clamped tighter.) AMY: Argh. MALOHKEH: Decontamination complete. Commencing dissection. TANNOY: Area Seventeen incursion. Species diagnostic requested. Area Seventeen incursion. Species diagnostic requested. (Malohkeh runs out.) AMY: Yeah. And stay out. (Amy has somehow managed to get the restraints control from Malohkeh. She frees herself, then Mo.) AMY: Ah ah! "MO; How did you get that?" AMY: You never picked a lizard man's pocket? Come on, before he gets back. [Tunnel] MO: That creature, do you think it was an alien? Any more of them, do you think? Do you think the Earth's been invaded? AMY: Don't know. But I know someone who could have some answers. We need to get back to the surface and find him. I wonder where this leads. MO: Maybe it's a way out of here. (Amy presses a button on a wall panel. A screen lights up, then the area behind the door. It is a stasis alcove, and Elliot is inside.) MO: Oh, my God, no. AMY: What is it? MO: It's my son. It's Elliot. What've they done to him? He's in there. We have to get him out. Elliot? Elliot, it's Dad. COMPUTER: Access denied. Unauthorised genetic imprint. AMY: Stop. Seriously, we can't get in. MO: That's my boy in there. AMY: These screens, they're monitoring something. I think they're vital signs. Heartbeats, pulses. Why else would he be wired up? He's still alive. MO: All right. We find weapons, get that creature from the lab and force it to release Elliot, yeah? AMY: Yeah. Trust me. We'll get him out. [Graveyard] (Ambrose is still holding Elliot's headphones.) RORY: Ambrose. AMBROSE: You lied. You told us you were the police. RORY: It was a misunderstanding. AMBROSE: Who are you? You and the Doctor? Why is this happening to us? What did we ever do? RORY: The Doctor'll get your son back, I promise. In the meantime, we take turns guarding the creature. AMBROSE: Oh, so that's it? We just sit and wait. RORY: And then we exchange her for your family. I promise you, Ambrose, I trust the Doctor with my life. We stick to his plan. We keep that creature safe. [Laboratory] (The Doctor is being scanned, and it hurts.) DOCTOR: Argh. RESTAC: How can they have escaped? This proves all prisoners should remain under military guard. MALOHKEH: I'm sure you'd prefer to be in charge of everything and everyone, Restac, but we rank the same. Is there any word from Alaya? RESTAC: No. MALOHKEH: It's fine to show concern, you know. She's part of your gene-chain. I'm decontaminating now. DOCTOR: Decontamination? No, no, no. (That hurts even more.) [Crypt] (Alaya is soaking in the sunlight from the small window when she smells Mack enter.) ALAYA: Why aren't you dead? You're carrying my venom in your blood. But you should have died. Why aren't you dead? Show me. (Mack shows her the green veins.) ALAYA: How does it feel, ape? MACK: Like it's burning in my blood. Please, if you help me, I can help you. If you could cure me, I could help you escape. ALAYA: You see? You beg and offer betrayal so early. Why would I want to escape when I can watch you die? The first ape death of the coming war. [Laboratory] DOCTOR: No! Argh! MALOHKEH: It's all right, it won't harm you. I'm only neutralising all your ape bacteria. DOCTOR: I'm not an ape. Look at the scans. Two hearts. Totally different. Totally not ape! Remove all human germs, you remove half the things keeping me alive. (Malohkeh turns off the decontamination machine.) RESTAC: No, complete the process. DOCTOR: Oh, that's much better, thanks. Not got any celery, have you? No. No, not really the climate. Tomatoes, though. You'd do a roaring trade in those. I'm the Doctor. Oh, and there's Nasreen. Good. (Nasreen wakes.) NASREEN: Oh, a green man. DOCTOR: Hello. Who are you? RESTAC: Restac, Military commander. DOCTOR: Oh dear, really? There's always a military, isn't there? MALOHKEH: Your weapon was attacking the oxygen pockets above our city. DOCTOR: Oxygen pockets, lovely. Ooo, but not so good with an impending drill. Now it makes sense. RESTAC: Where is the rest of your invasion force? DOCTOR: Invasion force. Me and lovely Nasreen? No. We came for the humans you took. And to offer the safe return of Alaya. Oh wait, you and she, what is it, same genetic source? Of course you're worried, but don't be, she's safe. RESTAC: You claim to come in peace, but you hold one of us hostage. DOCTOR: Wait, wait, we all want the same thing here. RESTAC: I don't negotiate with apes. I'm going to send a clear message to those on the surface. DOCTOR: What's that? RESTAC: Your execution. DOCTOR: Yes. [Cryo-chambers] AMY: These chambers are all over the city. (She lights up two. They contain Silurians.) MO: Urgh. Turn it off, quick. They're not moving. AMY: Maybe they're asleep. Let's have another look. MO: No, Amy, don't. Don't. (Amy opens the chamber and goes inside.) MO: Amy, what are you doing? Get out of there. AMY: Some sort of suspended animation. I wonder what these are? (The discs the Silurians are standing on.) AMY: The Doctor would know. The Doctor always knows. MO: Hey, look. (Above the two Silurians are tunnels heading straight up.) AMY: Wait. I've got it. It's how they came up to the surface. Some sort of powered transport discs. It's our way out of here. MO: Even better. Weapons. Come on, now we can fight back. (They take the Silurian disc weapons from the warriors and back out of the chamber. Amy switches it off.) MO: Which way now? AMY: Door at the end. MO: Are you sure? AMY: No. [Army storage] (The door at the end leads to a balcony overlooking a vast chamber, containing warriors as far as the eye can see.) MO: Wow. AMY: Yeah. MO: We don't stand a chance. AMY: We have to find the Doctor. [Church] (Mack raids the first aid box for pain killers.) AMBROSE: Dad, are you all right? Dad? MACK: Ambrose, I'm fine. Leave me alone. AMBROSE: You are not fine. Let me, let me look. MACK: Get off. AMBROSE: Let me look. Oh, my God, Dad. MACK: I don't know what's happening to me. AMBROSE: It's going to be fine. First thing is, bring this temperature down. Get you resting. [Gardens] (The Doctor and Nasreen are under escort.) DOCTOR: These must be the only ones awake. The others must still be in hibernation. NASREEN: So, why did they go into hibernation in the first place? DOCTOR: Their astronomers predicted the planet heading to Earth on a crash course. They a built life underground and put themselves to sleep for millennia in order to avert what they thought was the apocalypse, when in reality it was the moon coming into alignment with the Earth. MALOHKEH: How can you know that? DOCTOR: Long time ago, I met another tribe of Homo Reptilia. Similar, but not identical. RESTAC: Others of our species have survived? DOCTOR: The humans attacked them. They died. I'm sorry. (Doctor Who and The Silurians) RESTAC: A vermin race. [Crypt] AMBROSE: What's the cure? ALAYA: What? AMBROSE: I saw what you've done to my dad. What's the cure? ALAYA: Why would I tell you? AMBROSE: Because if you don't, I'm going to have to use this on you. (Ambrose has kept a taser from her collection of weapons.) ALAYA: Now you reveal yourselves. AMBROSE: First you take my son, now you hurt my dad. I'm just protecting my family here, that's all. I don't want to use it. I want you to put things right. ALAYA: Use it. AMBROSE: What? ALAYA: Use it on me. But you're too afraid. A woman who can't even protect her own child must be too weak to (Ambrose zaps Alaya. She falls to her knees.) AMBROSE: I didn't want to do that. Are you all right? Tell me, what's the cure for my dad? ALAYA: He's vermin. He deserves a painful death. AMBROSE: I am giving you a chance. ALAYA: I knew it would be you. The one with the most to lose. The weakest. (Ambrose uses the taser again.) [Church] RORY: I'm a nurse. You should have told me. (They hear a scream from the crypt.) [Crypt] (Alaya is still alive. Rory runs to her.) MACK: Ambrose, what have you done? AMBROSE: She kept taunting me about Mo and Elliot and you. MACK: We have to be better than this. AMBROSE: She wouldn't tell me anything. I thought sooner or later she'd give in. I would have done. I just, I just want my family back, Dad. RORY: I'm sorry. How do we help you? Tell us what to do. ALAYA: I knew this would come. And soon the war. RORY: You're not dying. I'm not going to let you. Not today. (Alaya dies.) [Court] (Long table in the middle, ranks of benches along the walls.) MALOHKEH: You're not authorised to do this. RESTAC: I am authorised to protect the safety of our species while they sleep. DOCTOR: Oh, lovely place. Very gleaming. RESTAC: This is our court and our place of execution. AMY: Let them go. DOCTOR: Amy Pond. There's a girl to rely on. AMY: You're covered both ways, so don't try anything clever, buster. NASREEN: Mo. AMY: Now let them go, or I shoot. (Restac moves towards Amy.) AMY: I'm warning you. (Restac disarms Amy.) DOCTOR: Don't you touch her! RESTAC: And you. (Mo is disarmed.) MALOHKEH: All right, Restac, you've made your point. RESTAC: This is now a military tribunal. Go back to your laboratory, Malohkeh. (They hiss at each other.) MALOHKEH: This isn't the way. RESTAC: Prepare them for execution. AMY: Okay, sorry. As rescues go, didn't live up to its potential. (The four are shacked to rings in a pair of columns.) DOCTOR: I'm glad you're okay. AMY: Me too. Lizard men, though. DOCTOR: Homo Reptilia. They occupied the planet before humans. Now they want it back. NASREEN: After they've wiped out the human race. AMY: Right. Preferred it when I didn't know, to be honest. NASREEN: Why are they waiting? What do you think they're going to do with us? [Crypt] AMBROSE: I didn't know it would go like that, Dad. MACK: My little girl, what have you done? AMBROSE: What happens now? (A computer screen in a box comes to life.) AMBROSE: Oh, my God. RESTAC [on screen]: Who is the ape leader? AMBROSE: It's them. How are they doing that? How do they know that we're in here? (Ambrose covers Alaya's body with a tarpaulin.) RESTAC [on screen]: Who speaks for the apes? MACK: Don't tell them what's happened. [Court] (Rory is on a large holographic screen.) RORY [on screen]: I speak for the humans. Some of us, anyway. [Crypt] RESTAC [on screen]: Do you understand who we are? RORY: Sort of. A bit. Not really. RESTAC [on screen]: We have ape hostages. [Court] RORY [on screen]: Doctor! Amy! AMBROSE [on screen]: Mo! Mo, are you okay? [Crypt] MO [on screen: I'm fine, love. I've found Elliot. I'm bringing him home. RORY: Amy, I thought I'd lost you. AMY [on screen]: What, cause I was sucked into the ground? You're so clingy. NASREEN [on screen]: Tony Mack! [Crypt] MACK: Having fun down there? DOCTOR [on screen]: Not to interrupt, but just a quick reminder to stay calm. RESTAC [on screen]: Show me Alaya. Show me, and release her immediately unharmed, or we kill your friends [Court] RESTAC: One by one. AMBROSE [on screen]: No. [Crypt] RORY: Ambrose. DOCTOR [on screen]: Steady now, everyone. [Court] MACK [on screen]: Ambrose, stop it. AMBROSE [on screen]: Get off me, Dad. [Crypt] AMBROSE: We didn't start this. [Court] DOCTOR: Let Rory deal with this, Ambrose, eh? [Crypt] AMBROSE: We are not doing what you say any more. Now, give me back my family. RESTAC [on screen]: No. Execute the girl. RORY: No! No, wait! AMY [on screen]: Rory! [Court] RORY [on screen]: She's not speaking for us. DOCTOR: There's no need for this. RORY [on screen]: Listen, listen. Whatever you want, we'll do it. RESTAC: Aim. RORY [on screen]: Amy! AMY: Rory! DOCTOR: Don't do this! [Crypt] RORY: No! (The screen goes blank.) [Court] RESTAC: Fire! ELDANE: Stop! You want to start a war while the rest of us sleep, Restac? RESTAC: The apes are attacking us. ELDANE: You're our protector, not our commander, Restac. Unchain them. RESTAC: I do not recognise your authority at this time, Eldane. ELDANE: Well then, you must shoot me. RESTAC: You woke him to undermine me. MALOHKEH: We're not monsters. And neither are they. RESTAC: What is it about apes you love so much, hmm? MALOHKEH: While you slept, they've evolved. I've seen it for myself. RESTAC: We used to hunt apes for sport. When we came underground, they bred and polluted this planet. ELDANE: Shush now, Restac. Go and play soldiers. I'll let you know if I need you. RESTAC: You'll need me, then we'll see. [Crypt] RORY: Nothing. I've got to get down there. DOCTOR [on screen]: Rory. Hello. RORY: Where's Amy? DOCTOR [on screen]: She's fine. Look, here, she is. RORY: Oh, thank God. AMY [on screen]: Keeping you on your toes. DOCTOR [on screen]: No time to chat. Listen, you need to get down here. Go to the drill storeroom. There's a large patch of earth in the middle of the floor. The Silurians are going to send up transport discs to bring you back down using geothermal energy and gravity bubble technology. It's how they travel and frankly, it's pretty cool. Bring Alaya. We hand her over, we can land this after all. All going to work, promise. Got to dash. Hurry up. (Transmission ends.) MACK: The moment we get down there, everything will fall apart. RORY: We have to return her. They deserve at least that. [Court] DOCTOR: I'd say you've got a fair bit to talk about. ELDANE: How so? DOCTOR: You both want the planet. You both have a genuine claim to it. ELDANE: Are you authorised to negotiate on behalf of humanity? DOCTOR: Me? No. But they are. NASREEN: What? AMY: No, we're not. DOCTOR: Course you are. Amy Pond and Nasreen Chaudhry, speaking for the planet? Humanity couldn't have better ambassadors. Come on, who has more fun than us? AMY: Is this what happens, in the future? The planet gets shared? Is that what we need to do? NASREEN: Er, what are you talking about? DOCTOR: Oh Nasreen, sorry. Probably worth mentioning at this stage, Amy and I travel in time a bit. NASREEN: Anything else? DOCTOR: There are fixed points through time where things must always stay the way they are. This is not one of them. This is an opportunity. A temporal tipping point. Whatever happens today, will change future events, create its own timeline, its own reality. The future pivots around you, here, now. So do good, for humanity, and for Earth. AMY: Right. No pressure there, then. NASREEN: We can't share the planet. Nobody on the surface is going to go for this idea. It is just too big a leap. DOCTOR: Come on. Be extraordinary. NASREEN: Oh. DOCTOR: Okay. Bringing things to order. The first meeting of representatives of the human race and Homo Reptilia is now in session. Ha! Never said that before. That's fab. Carry on. Now, Mo. Let's go and get your son. Oh, you know, humans, and their predecessors shooting the breeze. Never thought I'd see it. [Store room] (Four travel discs are lined up.) MACK: So we get on those, and they take us down through the Earth? RORY: Geothermal gravity bubbles, or something. AMBROSE: They sent four. She was our only bargaining chip. RORY: We have to hand her back. AMBROSE: Wait. Before we go down, there's something I've got to do. Dad? I need your help. [Tunnel] MACK: No. No way. AMBROSE: Please, Dad. Just a precaution. MACK: I told you, I won't do it. AMBROSE: Look at what they did to you. MACK: This isn't about me or you. AMBROSE: No, it's about your grandson. If you won't do it for me, do it for Elliot. I know I did wrong, but I can't lose him, Dad. [Stasis pod] DOCTOR: Elliot. There you are. MO: If you've harmed him in any way. MALOHKEH: Of course not. I only store the young. DOCTOR: But why? MALOHKEH: I took samples of the young, slowed their lifecycles to a millionth of their normal rate so I could study how they grew, what they needed, how they lived on the surface. DOCTOR: You've been down here working by yourself, all alone? MALOHKEH: My family, through the millennia, and for the last three hundred years, just me. I never meant to harm your child. DOCTOR: Malohkeh, I rather love you. MALOHKEH: It's safe. We can wake him. (Malohkeh unhooks Elliot from the wires.) MALOHKEH: Come. MO: Elliot? Ell, it's Dad. ELLIOT: Dad. MO: You're safe now. ELLIOT: Where are we? MO: Well, I've got to be honest with you, son. We're in the centre of the Earth, and there are lizard men. MALOHKEH: Hi. ELLIOT: Wow. DOCTOR: Elliot. I'm sorry. I took my eye off you. ELLIOT: It's okay. I forgive you. MALOHKEH: You go on, Doctor. I'll catch up. COMPUTER: Storage facility nineteen operational. [Court] ELDANE: We lived on the surface of the planet long before you did. Our sole purpose has been to return to our rightful place. NASREEN: And we've got a planet that can't already sustain the people who live there. And you want to add a whole other species to drain resources ELDANE [OC]: As I sat there that day across the table from the humans, the future of both species and of our beloved planet Earth rested in our hands. But as the discussions went on, I began to despair about whether we would ever find any common ground. As ambassadors for our species we all had too much to lose. AMY: So, what about the areas that aren't habitable to us? Australian outback, Sahara desert, Nevada plains. They're all deserted. NASREEN: Yes, fine, but what happens when their population grows and breeds and spreads? And anyway, what benefit does humanity get, and how will we ever sell this to people on the surface? ELDANE: If I could get a word in, maybe I could tell you. You give us space, we can bring new sources of energy, new methods of water supply, new medicines, scientific advances. We were a great civilisation. You provide a place for us on the surface, we'll give you knowledge and technology beyond humanity's dreams. If we work together, this planet could achieve greatness. NASREEN: Okay. Now I'm starting to see it. AMY: Oh yeah. (The Doctor enters with Mo and Elliot.) DOCTOR: Not bad for a first session. More similarities than differences. ELDANE: The transport has returned. Your friends are here. [Cryo-chambers] MALOHKEH: That's not right. What are you doing? (The warriors are being revived.) RESTAC: Protecting our race against the apes. MALOHKEH: You can't do this. RESTAC: You're a good scientist, Malohkeh, but this is war. (Restac kills Malohkeh.) [Court] (Rory appears in the doorway, followed by Ambrose, then Mack carrying Alaya's body wrapped in a blanket.) DOCTOR: Here they are. ELLIOT: Mum! AMY: Rory! DOCTOR: Something's wrong. AMY: Doctor, what's he carrying? DOCTOR: No. Don't do this. Tell me you didn't do this. (Mack lays Alaya on the floor.) DOCTOR: What did you do? AMBROSE: It was me. I did it. ELLIOT: Mum? AMBROSE: I just wanted you back. DOCTOR: I'm sorry. I didn't know. You have to believe me, they're better than this. AMBROSE: This is our planet! DOCTOR: We had a chance here. AMBROSE: Leave us alone. DOCTOR: In future, when you talk about this, you tell people there was a chance but you were so much less than the best of humanity. (Restac and her troops march in.) RESTAC: My sister. Oh. And you want us to trust these apes, Doctor? DOCTOR: One woman. She was scared for her family. She is not typical. RESTAC: I think she is. DOCTOR: One person let us down, but there is a whole race of dazzling, peaceful human beings up there. You were building something here. Come on. An alliance could work. AMBROSE: It's too late for that, Doctor. DOCTOR: Why? AMBROSE: Our drill is set to start burrowing again in fifteen minutes. NASREEN: What? MACK: What choice did I have? They had Elliot. DOCTOR: Don't do this. Don't call their bluff. AMBROSE: Let us go back. And you promise to never come to the surface ever again. We'll walk away, leave you alone. RESTAC: Execute her. DOCTOR: No! (The Doctor grabs Ambrose and they run.) DOCTOR: Everybody, back to the lab. Run. RESTAC: Execute all the apes. (The Doctor gets out his sonic screwdriver. The Silurian weapons go Bang!) DOCTOR: This is a deadly weapon. Stay back. (He dodges a lashing tongue.) [Tunnel] DOCTOR: Take everyone to the lab. I'll cover you. RORY: Go. Go. DOCTOR: Ah, ah, Stop right there or I'll use my very deadly weapon again. One warning, that's all you get. If there can be no deal, you go back into hibernation. All of you, now. This ends here. RESTAC: No. It only ends with our victory. DOCTOR: Like I said, one warning. [Laboratory] (The Doctor seals the door.) DOCTOR: Elliot, you and your dad keep your eyes on that screen. Let me know if we get company. Amy, keep reminding me how much time I haven't got. AMY: Okay. Um, er, twelve minutes till drill impact. DOCTOR: Tony Mack. Sweaty forehead, dilated pupils. What are you hiding? (The green veins are all across his chest.) NASREEN: Tony, what happened? MACK: Alaya's sting. She said there's no cure. I'm dying, aren't I? DOCTOR: You're not dying, you're mutating. MACK: How can I stop it? DOCTOR: Decontamination program. Might work. Don't know. Eldane, can you run the program on Tony? MO: Doctor, shedload of those creatures coming our way. We're surrounded in here. DOCTOR: So, question is, how we do stop the drill given we can't get there in time? Plus, also, how do we get out, given that we're surrounded? Nasreen, how do you feel about an energy pulse channelled up through the tunnels to the base of the drill? NASREEN: To blow up my life's work? DOCTOR: Yes. Sorry. No nice way of putting that. NASREEN: Right, well, you're going to have to do it before the drill hits the city, in er AMY: Eleven minutes forty seconds. DOCTOR: Yes. Squeaky bum time. NASREEN: Yes, but the explosion is going to cave in all the surrounding tunnels, so we have to be out and on the surface by then. RORY: But we can't get past Restac's troops. ELDANE: I can help with that. Toxic Fumigation. An emergency failsafe meant to protect my species from infection. A warning signal to occupy cryo-chambers. After that, citywide fumigation by toxic gas. Then the city shuts down. AMY: You could end up killing your own people. ELDANE: Only those foolish enough to follow Restac. DOCTOR: Eldane, are you sure about this? ELDANE: My priority is my race's survival. The Earth isn't ready for us to return yet. DOCTOR: No. AMY: Ten minutes, Doctor. DOCTOR: But maybe it should be. So, here's a deal. Everybody listening. Eldane, you activate shutdown. I'll amend the system, set your alarm for a thousand years time. A thousand years to sort the planet out. To be ready. Pass it on. As legend, or prophesy, or religion, but somehow make it known. This planet is to be shared. ELLIOT: Yeah. I get you. AMY: Nine minutes, seven seconds. DOCTOR: Yes. Fluid controls, my favourite. Energy pulse. Timed, primed and set. Before we go, energy barricade. Need to cancel it out quickly. ELDANE: Fumigation pre-launching. RORY: There's not much time for us to get from here to the surface, Doctor. DOCTOR: Ah ha, super-squeaky bum time. Get ready to run for your lives. Now. ELDANE: But the decontamination program on your friend hasn't started yet. MACK: Well, go. All of you, go. AMBROSE: No, we're not leaving you here. ELLIOT: Granddad. AMY: Eight minutes ten seconds. MACK: Now you look after your mum. You mustn't blame her. She only did what she thought was right. ELLIOT: I'm not going to see you again, am I? MACK: I'll be here, always. I love you, boy. You be sure he gets home safe. AMBROSE: This is my fault. MACK: No, I can't go back up there. I'd be a freak show. The technology down here's my only hope. AMBROSE: I love you, Dad. MACK: Go. Go. MO: Come on. MACK: Go on. COMPUTER: Toxic fumigation initiated. [Tunnel] COMPUTER: Return to cryo-chambers. RESTAC: No. COMPUTER: Toxic fumigation initiated. RESTAC: No! COMPUTER: Return to cryo-chambers. RESTAC: This is not the order. [Laboratory] COMPUTER: Toxic fumigation initiated. AMY: They're going. We're clear. DOCTOR: Okay, everyone follow Nasreen. Look for a blue box. Get ready to run. COMPUTER: Return to cryo-chambers. DOCTOR: I'm sorry. ELDANE: I thought for a moment, our race and the humans DOCTOR: Yeah, me too. AMY: Doctor, We've got less than six minutes. DOCTOR: Go. Go! I'm right behind you. Let's go. NASREEN: I'm not coming either. DOCTOR: What? [Tunnel] (Amy goes back for the Doctor.) AMY: Oh, for goodness sake. [Laboratory] NASREEN: We're going to hibernate with them, me and Tony. ELDANE: Doctor, you must go. MACK: I can be decontaminated when we're woken. All the time in the world. DOCTOR: But, Nasreen, you NASREEN: No, this is perfect. I don't want to go. I've got what I was digging for. I can't leave when I've only just found it. AMY: Doctor! NASREEN: Thank you, Doctor. DOCTOR: The pleasure was all mine. NASREEN: Come and look for us. ELDANE [OC]: So the Doctor sent our warriors back to their rest, on the promise of future harmony with humans. [City] COMPUTER: Immediate evacuation. (Rory passes them.) AMY: Other way, idiot. COMPUTER: Toxic fumigation is about to commence. Immediate evacuation. DOCTOR: Come on. COMPUTER: Toxic fumigation is about to commence. [Outside the Tardis] DOCTOR: No questions, just get in. And yes, I know, it's big. Ambrose, sickbay up the stairs, left, then left again, Get yourself fixed up. Come on. Five minutes and counting. Not here. (There is a crack in the wall.) DOCTOR: Not now. It's getting wider. AMY: The crack on my bedroom wall. DOCTOR [memory]: Two parts of space and time that should never have touched, right here. DOCTOR: And the Byzantium. All through the universe, rips in the continuum. AMY [memory]: How can it be following me? DOCTOR: Some sort of space-time cataclysm. An explosion, maybe. Big enough to put cracks in the universe. But what? AMY: Four minutes fifty. We have to go. DOCTOR: The Angels laughed when I didn't know. Prisoner Zero knew. Everybody knows except me. AMY: Doctor, just leave it. DOCTOR: But where there's an explosion, there's shrapnel. RORY: Doctor, you can't put your hand in there. (The Doctor puts a red handkerchief over his hand and reaches into the crack.) DOCTOR: Why not? (Because it hurts?) DOCTOR: Argh. I've got something. AMY: What is it? (He pulls his arm back out.) DOCTOR: I don't know. RORY: Doctor? (Restac crawls in.) AMY: She was there when the gas started. She must have been poisoned. RESTAC: You. DOCTOR: Okay, get in the Tardis, both of you. RESTAC: You did this. (Restac raises her weapon.) RORY: Doctor! (Rory pushes the Doctor out of the way and takes the full force of the blast.) AMY: Rory! DOCTOR: Rory, can you hear me? RORY: I don't understand. AMY: Shush. Don't talk. Doctor, is he okay? We have to get him onto the Tardis. RORY: We were on the hill. I can't die here. AMY: Don't say that. RORY: You're so beautiful. I'm sorry. (Rory dies.) AMY: Doctor, help him. (Light from the crack reaches Rory's feet.) DOCTOR [memory]: If the time energy catches up with you, you'll never have been born. It will erase every moment of your existence. You will never have lived at all. At all. At all. At all. DOCTOR: Amy, move away from the light. If it touches you, you'll be wiped from history. Amy, move away now. AMY: No. I am not leaving him. We have to help him. DOCTOR: The light's already around him. We can't help him. AMY: I am not leaving him. DOCTOR: We have to. AMY: No! DOCTOR: I'm sorry. AMY: Get off me! (The Doctor drags Amy to the Tardis.) DOCTOR: I'm sorry. AMY: Get off me. No. [Tardis] (The Doctor sonicks the Tardis door shut.) AMY: No! No! No! No! Let me out. Please let me out. I need to get to Rory. That light. If his body's absorbed, I'll forget him. He'll never have existed. You can't let that happen. What are you doing? (The Doctor sets the Tardis in motion.) AMY: Doctor, no! No! No! No! (Rory is absorbed by the light from the crack as the Tardis dematerialises.) AMY: Doctor, we can't just leave him there. DOCTOR: Keep him in your mind. Don't forget him. If you forget him, you'll lose him forever. AMY: When we were on the Byzantium, I still remembered the Clerics because I am a time traveller now, you said. DOCTOR: They weren't part of your world. This is different. This is your own history changing. AMY: Don't tell me it's going to be okay. You have to make it okay. DOCTOR: It's going to be hard, but you can do it, Amy. Tell me about Rory, eh? Fantastic Rory. Funny Rory. Gorgeous Rory. Amy, listen to me. Do exactly as I say. Amy, please. Keep concentrating. You can do this. AMY: I can't. DOCTOR: You can. You can do it. I can't help you unless you do. Come on. We can still save his memory. Come on, Amy. Please. Come on, Amy, come on. Amy, please. Don't let anything distract you. Remember Rory. Keep remembering. Rory's only alive in your memory. You must keep hold of him. Don't let anything distract you. Rory still lives in your mind. (The Tardis comes to a sudden halt. They are thrown to the floor. The ring box lands in front of the Doctor.) AMY: What were you saying? MO: I have seen some things today, but this is beyond mad. AMY: Doctor. Five seconds till it all goes up. [Graveyard] (They all dash outside just in time to see the drilling derrick explode.) AMY: All Nasreen's work just erased. MO: Good thing she's not here to see it. She's going to give Tony hell when they wake up. [Church porch] AMBROSE: You could've let those things shoot me. You saved me. DOCTOR: An eye for an eye. It's never the way. Now you show your son how wrong you were, how there's another way. You make him the best of humanity, in the way you couldn't be. [Graveyard] (Amy and the Doctor return to the Tardis.) AMY: You're very quiet. Oh. Hey, look. There I am again. Hello, me. (A lone figure waves back from the other side of the valley.) DOCTOR: Are you okay? AMY: I thought I saw someone else there for a second. I need a holiday. Didn't we talk about Rio? DOCTOR: You go in. Just fix this lock. Keeps jamming. AMY: You boys and your locksmithery. ELDANE: Now, as my people awaken from their thousand year sleep ready to rise to the surface, my thoughts turn back to the Doctor. The losses he suffered then and the greater loses that were still to come. (Autumn. Something cuts a swathe through the ripe wheat, scaring the crows. The event is caught on canvas by an avant-garde artist.) [Muse� d'Orsay] (Wheatfield with crows is now hanging on a gallery wall with an expert enthusing over it to his audience.) BLACK: So this is one of the last paintings Van Gogh ever painted. Those final months of his life were probably the most astonishing artistic outpouring in history. It was like Shakespeare knocking off Othello, Macbeth and King Lear over the summer hols. And especially astonishing because Van Gogh did it with no hope of praise or reward. He is now AMY: Thanks for bringing me. DOCTOR: You're welcome. AMY: You're being so nice to me. Why are you being so nice to me? DOCTOR: I'm always nice to you. AMY: Not like this. These places you're taking me. Arcadia, the Trojan Gardens, now this. I think it's suspicious. DOCTOR: What? It's not. There's nothing to be suspicious about. AMY: Okay, I was joking. Why aren't you? BLACK: Each of these pictures now is worth tens of millions of pounds, yet in his lifetime he was a commercial disaster. Sold only one painting, and that to the sister of a friend. We have here possibly the greatest artist of all time, but when he died you could sold his entire body of work and got about enough money to buy a sofa and a couple of chairs. If you follow me now CHILD: Who is it? CHILD 2: It's the doctor. (The Doctor turns. The schoolboys are looking at the portrait of Doctor Gachet.) CHILD 2: He was the doctor who took care of Van Gogh when he started to go mad. CHILD: I knew that. AMY: Look. There it is. The actual one. (Amy holds the picture in her Van Gogh exhibition guide book next to the painting of the Church at Auvers.) DOCTOR: Yes. You can almost feel his hand painting it right in front of you, carving the colours into shapes. Wait a minute. AMY: What? DOCTOR: Well, just look at that. AMY: What? DOCTOR: Something very not good indeed. AMY: What thing very not good? DOCTOR: Look there, in the window of the church. (A dragon-like image.) AMY: Is it a face? DOCTOR: Yes. And not a nice face at all. I know evil when I see it and I see it in that window. (The Doctor goes over to Doctor Black, who is at the Still Life with Twelve Sunflowers.) BLACK: It has changed hands for something in the region of twenty DOCTOR: Excuse me. If I can just interrupt for one second. Sorry, everyone. Routine inspection, Ministry of Art and Artiness. So, er BLACK: Doctor Black. DOCTOR: Yes, that's right. Do you know when that picture of the church was painted? BLACK: Ah, well, ah, well, what an interesting question. Most people imagine DOCTOR: I'm going to have to hurry you. When was it? BLACK: Exactly? DOCTOR: As exactly as you can. Without a long speech, if poss. I'm in a hurry. BLACK: Well, in that case, probably somewhere between the first and third of June. DOCTOR: What year? BLACK: 1890. Less than a year before, before he killed himself. DOCTOR: Thank you, sir. Very helpful indeed. Nice bow-tie. Bow-ties are cool. BLACK: Yours is very DOCTOR: Oh, thank you. Keep telling them stuff. We need to go. AMY: What about the other pictures? DOCTOR: Art can wait. This is life and death. We need to talk to Vincent Van Gogh. [Alleyway] (Night. The Tardis materialises in a narrow alley, scaring a cat.) DOCTOR: Right, so, here's the plan. We find Vincent and he leads us straight to the church and our nasty friend. AMY: Easy peasy. DOCTOR: Well, no. I suspect nothing will be easy with Mister Van Gogh. Now, he'll probably be in the local cafe. Sort of orangey light, chairs and tables outside. (Amy looks in her exhibition guide book. The Doctor is pronouncing Gogh completely incorrectly, by the way. It should sound more like Hock.) AMY: Like this? DOCTOR: That's the one. AMY: Or indeed like that. DOCTOR: Yeah, exactly like that. [Outside the cafe] DOCTOR: Good evening. Does the name Vincent Van Gogh ring a bell? MAURICE: Don't mention that man to me. (The manager stalks back inside.) DOCTOR: Excuse me. Do you know Vincent Van Gogh? WAITRESS: Unfortunately. AMY: Unfortunately? WAITRESS: He's drunk, he's mad and he never pays his bills. DOCTOR: Good painter, though, eh? (General hilarity ensues at the very idea.) VINCENT [OC]: Come on! Come on! One painting for one drink. That's not a bad deal. (Maurice leads his impecunious customer outside.) MAURICE: It wouldn't be a bad deal if the painting were any good. I can't hang that up on my walls. It'd scare the customers half to death. It's bad enough having you in here in person, let alone looming over the customers day and night in a stupid hat. You pay money or you get out. DOCTOR: I'll pay, if you like. MAURICE: What? DOCTOR: Well, if you like, I'll pay for the drink. Or I'll pay for the painting and you can use the money to pay for the drink. VINCENT: Exactly who are you? DOCTOR: Oh, I'm new in town. VINCENT: Well, in that case, you don't know three things. One, I pay for my own drinks, thank you. (laughter) Two, no one ever buys any of my paintings or they would be laughed out of town. So if you want to stay in town, I suggest you keep your cash to yourself. And three, your friend's cute, but you should keep your big nose out of other people's business. Come on, just one more drink. I'll pay tomorrow. MAURICE: No. VINCENT: Or, on the other hand, slightly more compassionately, yes? MAURICE: Or, on the other hand, to protect my business from madmen, no. VINCENT: Or? AMY: Oh look, just shut up, the pair of you. I would like a bottle of wine, please, which I will then share with whomever I choose. VINCENT: That could be good. MAURICE: That's good by me. AMY: Good. (Maurice gives Vincent his Self-portrait with Straw Hat back and goes inside with Amy.) [Cafe] (Later, at a table inside.) VINCENT: That accent of yours. You from Holland like me? DOCTOR: Yes. AMY: No. DOCTOR: She means yes. So, start again. Hello, I'm the Doctor. VINCENT: I knew it! DOCTOR: Sorry? VINCENT: My brother's always sending doctors, but you won't be able to help. DOCTOR: Oh, no, not that kind of doctor. That's incredible, don't you think, Amy? AMY: Absolutely. One of my favourites. VINCENT: One of my favourite whats? You've never seen my work before. AMY: Ah yes. One of my favourite paintings that I've ever seen, generally. VINCENT: Then you can't have seen many paintings, then. I know it's terrible. It's the best I can do. Your hair's orange. AMY: Yes. So's yours. VINCENT: Yes. It was more orange, but now is, of course, less. DOCTOR: So. Er, Vincent, painted any churches recently? Any churchy plans? Are churches, chapels, religiousy stuff like that, something you'd like to get into? You know, fairly soon? VINCENT: Well, there is one church I'm thinking of painting when the weather is right. DOCTOR: That is very good news. (An older woman runs in, screaming.) WOMAN: She's been murdered! Help me! DOCTOR: That, on the other hand, isn't quite such good news. Come on, Amy, Vincent! [Street] MAN [OC]: She's been ripped to shreds! DOCTOR: Please, let me look. I'm a doctor. WOMAN 2 [OC]: Who is it? DOCTOR: Oh no, no, no. MAN [OC]: Is she dead? MOTHER: Away, all of you vultures. This is my daughter. Giselle. What monster could have done this? Get away from her! DOCTOR: Okay, okay. MOTHER: Get that madman out of here! (The crowd start throwing stones at Vincent. The Doctor and Amy get pelted, too.) MOTHER: You bring this on us. Your madness! You! WOMAN 2: He's to blame! [Alley] DOCTOR: Are you all right? VINCENT: Yes, I'm used to it. DOCTOR: Has anything like this murder happened here before? VINCENT: Only a week ago. It's a terrible time. DOCTOR: As I thought. As I thought. Come on, we'd better get you home. VINCENT: Where are you staying tonight? DOCTOR: Oh, you're very kind. [Courtyard] DOCTOR: Dark night. Very starry. VINCENT: It's not much. I live on my own. But you should be okay for one night. One night. AMY: We're going to stay with him? DOCTOR: Until he paints that church. VINCENT: Watch out. That one's wet. AMY: What? (The Bedroom in Arles.) [Vincent's home] VINCENT: Sorry about all the clutter. DOCTOR: Some clutter. VINCENT: I've come to accept the only person who's going to love my paintings is me. AMY: Wow. I mean, really. Wow. VINCENT: Yeah, I know it's a mess. I'll have a proper clear out. I must, I really must. (The Doctor and Amy browse the pictures around the room as if they were in a gallery.) VINCENT: Coffee, anyone? DOCTOR: Not for me, actually. (Vincent puts the coffee pot down on a still life.) DOCTOR: You know, you should be careful with these. They're precious. VINCENT: Precious to me. Not precious to anyone else. AMY: They're precious to me VINCENT: Well, you're very kind. And kindness is most welcome. DOCTOR: Right, so, this church, then. Near here, is it? VINCENT: What is it with you and the church? DOCTOR: Oh, just casually interested in it, you know. VINCENT: Far from casual. It seems to me you never talk about anything else. He's a strange one. DOCTOR: Okay, so, let's talk about you, then. What are you interested in? VINCENT: Well, look around. Art. It seems to me there's so much more to the world than the average eye is allowed to see. I believe, if you look hard, there are more wonders in this universe than you could ever have dreamed of. DOCTOR: You don't have to tell me. VINCENT: It's colour. Colour that holds the key. I can hear the colours. Listen to them. Every time I step outside, I feel nature is shouting at me. Come on. Come and get me. Come on. Come on! Capture my mystery! DOCTOR: Maybe you've had enough coffee now. How about some nice calming tea? Let's get you a cup of chamomile or something, shall we? Amy. Where's Amy? (A scream outside.) DOCTOR: No, no, no! [Courtyard] DOCTOR: Amy? Amy? What happened? AMY: I don't know. I didn't see it. I was having a look at the paintings out here when something hit me from behind. DOCTOR: It's okay. He's gone now and we're here. VINCENT: No! No! DOCTOR: Take it easy. Take it easy! (Vincent is backing away from something only he can see.) AMY: What's happening? What's he doing? DOCTOR: I don't know. (Vincent picks up a pitchfork.) DOCTOR: Oh, dear. VINCENT: Run. Run! DOCTOR: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not a bad idea. Amy, get back. He's having some kind of fit. I'll try to calm him down. (Vincent is stabbing at the air.) DOCTOR: Easy, Vincent, easy. Look. Look, look, look. It's me, it's me, it's me. It's the Doctor, look. No-one else is here. So, Vincent VINCENT: Look out! (A barrel is knocked over then a large scaly tail sends the Doctor flying.) AMY: I can't see anything. What is it? DOCTOR: That is a good question. Let me help you. (The Doctor grabs a pole.) VINCENT: You can see him, too? DOCTOR: Yes. Ish. Well, no. Not really. (And gets sent flying again, and something growls.) VINCENT: You couldn't see him? DOCTOR: No. No. Oi! (The Doctor swings wildly while Vincent plunges his pitchfork into the invisible enemy. Wounded, it leaves. The Doctor continues to fight the air.) VINCENT: He's gone. DOCTOR: Oh, right. Yes. Of course. [Vincent's home] DOCTOR: Right. So he's invisible. What did he look like? VINCENT: I'll show you. (Vincent paints over a bunch of violets.) DOCTOR: Oh, no, no. No, no! VINCENT: What? DOCTOR: It's just er, that was quite a good. Oh, no. On you go. (Vincent produces a charcoal sketch of a thing with a wicked beak, crest and claws.) DOCTOR: Okay. Okay. Right. Amy, make Mister Van Gogh comfortable. Don't let any invisible monsters in through the front door. AMY: But it could be outside, waiting. DOCTOR: Well, don't worry. I'll risk it. What's the worst that can happen? AMY: You could get torn into pieces by a monster you can't see. DOCTOR: Oh right, yes, that. Don't worry. I'll be back before you can say where's he got to now? Not that fast! But pretty fast. See you around. [Tardis] (The Doctor starts hunting through chests.) DOCTOR: Right. You in here somewhere? I can't apologise enough. I thought you were just a useless gadget. I thought you were just an embarrassing present from a dull godmother with two heads and bad breath. Twice. How wrong can a man be? (He finds a gizmo with a rear view mirror fastened to the top and plugs it into the console. It powers up and he stands in front of it and sticks his tongue out. The mirror lights up with Match Found Print Ready. It prints off a picture of William Hartnell, then the mirror changes to Patrick Troughton.) DOCTOR: Good. Okay, you're working. Now, see what you make of this. Who is that? (He holds up the sketch of the monster. Ding. Match found print ready. A macaw.) DOCTOR: No, I know it's not that. There are thousands of them and you can see them plain as day. (Polar bear.) DOCTOR: No. Definitely not. This is the problem with the impressionists. Not accurate enough. This would never happen with Gainsborough or one of those proper painters. Sorry, Vincent. You will just have to draw something better. [Alleyway] (The Doctor leaves the Tardis wearing the gizmo on his chest, with the rear view mirror looking over his right shoulder. An image of the beast appears in it.) DOCTOR: That's better, old girl. Time delay, but you always get it right in the end. Good. Let's find out who this is, then. Well, well, there you are. (The mirror says Krafayis. Planet of origin uncertain. Nomadic pack animals. Strict dominance hierarchy. Huge territories, several solar systems wide. Preferred habitat: Planets with oxygen and nitrogen based atmospheres.) Oh, you poor thing. You brutal, murderous, abandoned thing. I hope we meet again soon so I can take you home. (He looks in the mirror again and realises it is right behind him.) DOCTOR: Maybe not that soon. [Village] (He runs, it chases him, only visible in the mirror. The Doctor tries scattering benches and other objects to slow it down.) DOCTOR: Take that, and that. (Eventually it leaves. The Doctor looks round the corner and sees -) DOCTOR: Never do that! You scared the living daylights out of me. AMY: Sorry, I got bored. As much as you admire his command of colour and shape, it is hard to get fond of Vincent Van Gogh's snoring. [Vincent's bedroom] DOCTOR: Wake, wakey, rise and shine! Breakfast is served in the courtyard. Whoa! What a morning. Come on. And Amy's got a little surprise for you. [Courtyard] AMY: I thought I'd brighten things up to thank you for saving me last night. (Lots of sunflowers in lots of pots.) VINCENT: Ah. AMY: I thought you might like, you know, possibly to perhaps paint them or something? Might be a thought. VINCENT: Yes, well, they're not my favourite flower. AMY: You don't like sunflowers? VINCENT: No, it's not that I don't like them. I find them complex. Always somewhere between living and dying. Half-human as they turn to the sun. A little disgusting. But, you know, they are a challenge. DOCTOR: And one I'm pretty sure you'll rise to. But, moving on, there's something I need to show you. [Vincent's home] (The printout from the gizmo.) VINCENT: That's him. And the eyes, without mercy. DOCTOR: This is a creature called the Krafayis. They travel in space. They travel as a pack, scavenging across the universe. And sometimes one of them gets left behind. And because they are a brutal race, the others never come back. So, dotted all around the universe are individual, utterly merciless, utterly abandoned Krafayis. And what they do is, well, kill, until they're killed. Which they usually aren't. Because other creatures can't see them. VINCENT: But I can. DOCTOR: Yes. And that's why we are in a unique position today, my friend, to end this reign of terror. So, feeling like painting the church today? VINCENT: What about the monster? DOCTOR: Take my word for it. If you paint it, he will come. VINCENT: Okay. I'll get my things. DOCTOR: In your own time. And I promise you, we'll be out of your hair by this time tomorrow. (Vincent goes into the other room.) DOCTOR: This is risky. AMY: Riskier than normal? DOCTOR: Well, think about it. This is the middle of Vincent Van Gogh's greatest year of painting. If we're not careful, the net result of our pleasant little trip will be the brutal murder of the greatest artist who ever lived. Half the pictures on the wall of the Muse� D'Orsay will disappear. And it will be our fault. [Vincent's bedroom] (The Doctor knocks and enters. Vincent is lying face down on his little bed, crying.) DOCTOR: Vincent? Vincent! Vincent, can I help? VINCENT: It's so clear you cannot help. And when you leave, and everyone always leaves, I will be left once more with an empty heart and no hope. DOCTOR: My experience is that there is, you know, surprisingly, always hope. VINCENT: Then your experience is incomplete. I know how it will end. And it will not end well. DOCTOR: Come on. Come out. Come on, let's go outside. VINCENT: Get out! You get out. What are you doing here? What are you doing here? DOCTOR: Very well. I'll leave. I'll leave you. [Courtyard] AMY: What's happening? DOCTOR: We're leaving. Everyone knows he's a delicate man. Just months from now he'll, he'll take his own life. AMY: Don't say that. Please. [Vincent's home] (The Doctor looks at the picture Prisoners Exercising.) DOCTOR: Come on. We have to do this on our own. Go to the church at the right time and hope the monster still turns up. VINCENT: I'm ready. Let's go. [Road] AMY: I'm sorry you're so sad. VINCENT: But I'm not. Sometimes these moods torture me for weeks, for months. But I'm good now. If Amy Pond can soldier on, then so can Vincent Van Gogh. AMY: I'm not soldiering on. I'm fine. VINCENT: Oh, Amy. I hear the song of your sadness. You've lost someone, I think. AMY: I'm not sad. VINCENT: They why are you crying? It's all right. I understand. AMY: I'm not sure I do. DOCTOR: Okay. Okay. So, now, we must have a plan. When the creature returns VINCENT: Then we shall fight him again. DOCTOR: Well, yes, tick. But last night we were lucky. Amy could have been killed. So this time, for a start, we have to make sure I can see him too. AMY: And how are we meant to do that, suddenly? DOCTOR: The answer's in this box. I had an excellent, if smelly, godmother. (They meet a funeral procession coming the other way.) VINCENT: Oh no, it's that poor girl from the village. (They stand aside respectfully as the coffin is carried past, with a bouquet of sunflowers on it.) AMY: You do have a plan, don't you? DOCTOR: No. It's a thing. It's like a plan, but with more greatness. [Auvers Churchyard] DOCTOR: And you'll be sure to tell me if you see any, you know, monsters. VINCENT: Yes. While I may be mad, I'm not stupid. DOCTOR: No. Quite. And, to be honest, I'm not sure about mad either. It seems to me depression is a very complex VINCENT: Shush. I'm working. DOCTOR: Well, yes. Paint. Do painting! I remember watching Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel. Wow! What a whinger. I kept saying to him, look, if you're scared of heights, you shouldn't have taken the job then. AMY: Shush. DOCTOR: And Picasso. What a ghastly old goat. I kept telling him, concentrate, Pablo. It's one eye, either side of the face. AMY: Quiet. (Later, an owl hoots. The picture is almost finished.) DOCTOR: Is this how time normally passes? Really slowly. In the right order. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's an unpunctual alien attack. AMY: Are you okay? You seem a bit, if I didn't know you better, I'd say nervous. DOCTOR: Yes, there's something not right and I can't quite put my finger on it. VINCENT: There. He's at the window. DOCTOR: Where? VINCENT: There, on the right. DOCTOR: As I thought. Come on. I'm going in. VINCENT: Well I'm coming too. DOCTOR: No! You're Vincent Van Gogh. No. VINCENT: But you're not armed. DOCTOR: I am. VINCENT: What with? DOCTOR: Overconfidence, this, and a small screwdriver. I'm absolutely sorted. Just have to find the right crosactic setting and stun him with it. Sonic never fails. Anyway, Amy, only one thought, one simple instruction. Don't follow me under any circumstances. AMY: I won't. VINCENT: Will you follow him? AMY: Of course. VINCENT: I love you. (The church porch is decorated with St Michael slaying the dragon. The Doctor gets out the gizmo and puts it on, then goes inside. The Krafayis can be heard but not seen. The Doctor scans with the sonic screwdriver.) AMY: Has he moved? VINCENT: No. Just shifted to the next window. But, wait! He's turning now. [Church] DOCTOR: Damn, he's moved. (The Krafayis smashes the mirror on the gizmo.) [Auvers Churchyard] AMY: Doctor? VINCENT: Amy! [Church] (The Doctor runs for the door.) AMY: Doctor! DOCTOR: Argh! I thought I told you. Never mind. We'll talk about it later. Quick, in here. (They get into a confessional.) DOCTOR: Absolutely quiet. Can you breath a little quieter, please? AMY: No. He's gone past. DOCTOR: Shush. (The beast smashes Amy's side of the confessional. She screams.) DOCTOR: I think he heard us. (It attacks the Doctor's side.) DOCTOR: That is impressive hearing he's got. What's less impressive are our chances of survival. VINCENT: Hey! Are you looking for me, sonny? Come on, over here. Because I'm right here waiting for you. (Vincent fends off the Krafayis with a chair.) VINCENT: Come on. Quickly. Get behind me. (The Doctor tries his sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Doing anything? VINCENT: Uh uh. [Outside the Church] DOCTOR: Where is he? VINCENT: Where do you think he is, you idiot? Use your head. DOCTOR: Anything? VINCENT: Nothing. In fact, he seemed to rather enjoy it. DOCTOR: Ooo. VINCENT: Duck! Left. (The Doctor gets thrown against a wall.) VINCENT: Right, sorry. Your right, my left. DOCTOR: This is no good at all. Run like crazy and regroup. AMY: Oh, come on, in here. [Crypt] (The Krafayis jams its foot in the door to stop them closing it, so Vincent stamps on it. The door closes.) DOCTOR: Right. Okay. Here's the plan. Amy, Rory. AMY: Who? DOCTOR: Sorry. Er, Vincent. AMY: What is the plan? DOCTOR: I don't know, actually. My only definite plan is that in future I'm definitely just using this screwdriver for screwing in screws. VINCENT: Give me a second. I'll be back. DOCTOR: I suppose we could try talking to him. AMY: Talking to him? DOCTOR: Well, yes. Might be interesting to know his side of the story. Yes, though maybe he's not really in the mood for conversation right at this precise moment. (The beast hammers on the door.) DOCTOR: Well, no harm trying. Listen. Listen! I know you can understand me, even though I know you won't understand why you can understand me. I also know that no one's talked to you for a pretty long stretch, but please, listen. I also don't belong on this planet. I also am alone. If you trust me, I'm sure we can come to some kind of, you know, understanding. And then, and then, who knows? (A window is broken in, and the invisible beast enters.) VINCENT: Over here, mate! (They hide behind a stone monument. Vincent has fetched his easel and is brandishing it with its three pointed feet forwards.) DOCTOR: What's it up to now? VINCENT: It's moving round the room. Feeling its way around. DOCTOR: What? VINCENT: It's like it's trapped. It's moving round the edges of the room. AMY: I can't see a thing. DOCTOR: I am really stupid. DOCTOR: Oh, get a grip! This is not a moment to re-evaluate your self-esteem. DOCTOR: No, I am really stupid, and I'm growing old. Why does it attack but never eat its victims? And why was it abandoned by its pack and left here to die? And why is it feeling its way helplessly around the walls of the room? It can't see. It's blind. Yes, and that explains why it has such perfect hearing! VINCENT: Which unfortunately also explains why it is now turning around and heading straight for us. DOCTOR: Vincent. Vincent, what's happening? VINCENT: It's charging now. Get back. Get back! (The Krafayis skewers itself on the easel and lifts Vincent into the air. Then it falls to the floor, mortally wounded.) VINCENT: He wasn't without mercy at all. He was without sight. I didn't mean that to happen. I only meant to wound it, I never meant to DOCTOR: He's trying to say something. VINCENT: What is it? DOCTOR: I'm having trouble making it out, but I think he's saying, I'm afraid. I'm afraid. There, there. Shush, shush. It's okay, it's okay. You'll be fine. Shush. VINCENT: He was frightened, and he lashed out. Like humans who lash out when they're frightened. Like the villagers who scream at me. Like the children who throw stones at me. DOCTOR: Sometimes winning, winning is no fun at all. [Field] (The Doctor, Amy and Vincent van Gogh lie on the ground and look up at the night sky.) VINCENT: Hold my hand, Doctor. Try to see what I see. We are so lucky we are still alive to see this beautiful world. Look at the sky. It's not dark and black and without character. The black is in fact deep blue. And over there, lighter blue. And blowing through the blueness and the blackness, the wind swirling through the air and then, shining, burning, bursting through, the stars. Can you see how they roar their light? Everywhere we look, the complex magic of nature blazes before our eyes. DOCTOR: I've seen many things, my friend. But you're right. Nothing quite as wonderful as the things you see. VINCENT: I will miss you terribly. [Vincent's home] VINCENT: I only wish I had something of real value to give you. (Self-portrait in a Straw Hat.) DOCTOR: Oh, no, no, no. I could never accept such an extraordinary gift. VINCENT: Very well. You're not the first to decline the offer. Amy, the blessed, the wonderful. AMY: Be good to yourself, and be kind to yourself. VINCENT: I'll try my best. AMY: And maybe give the beard a little trim before you next kiss someone. VINCENT: I will, I will. And if you tire of this Doctor of yours, return, and we will have children by the dozen. AMY: Eek. VINCENT: Doctor, my friend. We have fought monsters together and we have won. On my own, I fear I may not do as well. [Courtyard] DOCTOR: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? AMY: I was thinking I may need some food or something before we leave. DOCTOR: Well, no, you're not thinking exactly what I'm thinking. Vincent! I've got something I'd like to show you. Maybe just tidy yourself up a bit first. [Alleyway] (The Tardis has been covered in advertising posters.) DOCTOR: Now, you know we've had quite a few chats about the possibility there might be more to life than normal people imagine? VINCENT: Yes. DOCTOR: Well, brace yourself, Vinny. (So we have the usual performance of inside, outside, walk around and go in again.) VINCENT [OC]: How come I'm the crazy one, and you two have stayed sane? [Tardis] VINCENT: What do these things all do? DOCTOR: Oh, a huge variety of things. This one here, for instance, plays soothing music. While this one makes a huge amount of noise. And this one makes everything go absolutely tonto. (The Tardis jerks into flight.) VINCENT: And this one? DOCTOR: That's a friction contrafibulator! VINCENT: And this? DOCTOR: That's ketchup. And that one's mustard. VINCENT: Mmm, nice. Come on, back to the cafe and you can tell me about all the wonders of the universe. DOCTOR: Good idea. Although, actually, there's a little something I'd like to show you first. [Outside the Muse�] VINCENT: Where are we? (The time flight is burning the posters off the Tardis.) DOCTOR: Paris, 2010 AD. And this is the mighty Muse� D'Orsay, home to many of the greatest paintings in history. VINCENT: Oh, that's wonderful. (Two lads walk past listening to a radio.) DOCTOR: Ignore that. I've got something more important to show you. [Muse� d'Orsay] (Background music is Chances by Athlete as they enter the Muse�.) SINGER: Take all your chances while you can. You never know when they'll pass you by. Like the sum the mathematician cannot solve. Like me trying my hardest to explain. (And into the van Gogh exhibition.) SINGER: It's all about your cries and kisses, and those first steps that I can't calculate. DOCTOR: Doctor Black, we met a few days ago. I asked you about the church at Auvers. BLACK: Oh, yes. Glad to be of help. You were nice about my tie. DOCTOR: Yes. And today is another cracker if I may say so. But I just wondered, between you and me, in a hundred words, where do you think Van Gogh rates in the history of art? BLACK: Well, big question, but to me, Van Gogh is the finest painter of them all. Certainly, the most popular great painter of all time. The most beloved. His command of colour, the most magnificent. He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray, but to use your passion and pain to portray the ecstasy and joy and magnificence of our world. No one had ever done it before. Perhaps no one ever will again. To my mind, that strange, wild man who roamed the fields of Provence was not only the world's greatest artist, but also one of the greatest men who ever lived. (Vincent bursts into tears.) DOCTOR: Vincent. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Is it too much? VINCENT: No. They are tears of joy. Thank you, sir. Thank you. (Vincent kisses Doctor Black on both cheeks and hugs him.) BLACK: You're welcome. You're welcome. VINCENT: Sorry about the beard. (Black takes a few steps, stops, turn then mouths No.) [Olive grove] VINCENT: This changes everything. I'll step out tomorrow with my easel on my back a different man. I still can't believe that one of the haystacks was in the museum. How embarrassing. DOCTOR: It's been a great adventure and a great honour. VINCENT: You've turned out to be the first doctor ever actually to make a difference to my life. DOCTOR: I'm delighted. I won't ever forget you. VINCENT: And you are sure marriage is out of the question? AMY: This time. I'm not really the marrying kind. Come on. Let's go back to the gallery right now. [Outside the Muse�] AMY: Time can be re-written. I know it can. Come on! Oh, the long life of Vincent Van Gogh. There'll be hundreds of new paintings. DOCTOR: I'm not sure there will. [Muse� d'Orsay] AMY: Come on! BLACK [OC]: We have here the last work of Vincent Van Gogh, who committed suicide at only thirty seven. He is now acknowledged to be one of the foremost artists of all time. If you follow me now. AMY: So you were right. No new paintings. We didn't make a difference at all. DOCTOR: I wouldn't say that. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. Hey. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant. And we definitely added to his pile of good things. And, if you look carefully, maybe we did indeed make a couple of little changes. AMY: No Krafayis. DOCTOR: No Krafayis. (Amy goes over to the Still Life with Twelve Sunflowers. It has For Amy, Vincent written on the vase.) AMY: If we had got married, our kids would have had very, very red hair. DOCTOR: The ultimate ginger. AMY: The ultimate ginge. Brighter than sunflowers. [Aickman Road] (The Tardis materialises in a small park across the road from groups of terraced houses.) DOCTOR: No, Amy, it's definitely not the fifth moon of Cindie Colesta. I think I can see a Ryman's. (There is an explosion, throwing the Doctor to the ground, and the Tardis dematerialises.) DOCTOR: Amy! Amy! [Tardis] (The Tardis is shaking, and there is a shower of sparks nearby.) AMY: Doctor? It's saying we're on Earth. Essex, Colchester. (The shaking stops.) AMY: Doctor? It's taking off again. Doctor, can you hear me? [Aickman Road] DOCTOR: Amy! Amy. (One day later, a young man is strolling past one of the terraces of houses when he hears a voice.) MAN [OC]: Hello? Hello, please? Hello? I need your help. There's been an accident. Please, help me. (The young man goes up to the door, which has a cat flap in it. The voice is coming from the intercom for the two flats, 79a and 79b. The door is electronically opened.) [House] (The upstairs lights are flickering.) STEVEN: Hello? MAN [OC]: Please, will you help me? STEVEN: Help you? What's wrong? (A figure is standing at the top of the stairs.) MAN: Something terrible's happened. Please help me. (Steven goes up the stairs and into the flat to the sound of spooky music. This door is exactly like the front door, complete with cat flap.) [Flat] (Downstairs, in 79b.) SOPHIE: Craig, what's that on the ceiling? CRAIG: What's what on the ceiling? SOPHIE: That. It's coming from upstairs. (A damp stain in the corner.) SOPHIE: Who lives up there again? CRAIG: Just some bloke. (The stain spreads.) CRAIG: So what's the plan tonight? Pizza, booze, telly? SOPHIE: Yeah, pizza, booze, telly. (Bang! upstairs.) SOPHIE: What is he doing up there? You put the advert up yet? CRAIG: Yeah, did it today, paper shop window. One furnished room available immediately, shared kitchen, bathroom, with twenty seven year old male, non-smoker, four hundred pound pcm, per calendar month, suit young professional. SOPHIE: Mmm, sounds ideal. That's your mission in life, Craig. Find me a man. CRAIG: Yeah, otherwise you'll have to settle for me. SOPHIE: You'll have to settle for me first. (Sophie answers her phone.) SOPHIE: Oh, Melina again. What? Right. Yeah, but I've kind of got plans. No, it's nothing important, it's just Craig. (Craig sees the stain spreading again.) CRAIG: Oh, thanks, Soph. SOPHIE: Sorry. You know what I mean. Okay, I'll talk to Craig. Okay. Now she's having a Dylan crisis on top of the Clare crisis. It could be another all-nighter. I'm sorry, but I really should go. Do you mind if I go? CRAIG: No, not at all. No, honestly. Course not. Go. SOPHIE: Because I could stay. CRAIG: No, go on. SOPHIE: I mean, we've got plans. CRAIG: Just pizza. SOPHIE: Yeah, it's just pizza. Okay, right, I'm going. CRAIG: All right, then. Well, er, I'll see you soon. SOPHIE: Yeah. CRAIG: All right. And give me a call, and I hope everything's okay. SOPHIE: Thanks, sorry. (Sophie leaves the flat and hears noises from upstairs, then footsteps. She leaves the house.) CRAIG: Just tell her. Just tell her. I love you. I love you. Oh, just. Hey, I don't know if you knew. Oh. (The doorbell rings.) CRAIG: Every time. (Sophie has left her keys behind on a fluffy pink key ring, so he picks them up and goes to the front door.) CRAIG: I love you. I love you. [Front door] CRAIG: I love you. I love you. (He opens the door.) CRAIG: I love you. DOCTOR: Well, that's good, because I'm your new lodger. Do you know, this is going to be easier than I expected. (The Doctor takes the fluffy pink keys from Craig. There is a Bluetooth device in his ear.) CRAIG: But I only put the advert up today. I didn't put my address. DOCTOR: Well, aren't you lucky I came along? More lucky than you know. Less of a young professional, more of an ancient amateur, but frankly I'm an absolute dream. CRAIG: Hang on a minute, mate. I don't know if I want you staying. And give me back those keys. You can't have those. DOCTOR: Yes, quite right. Have some rent. (The Doctor hands Craig a paper take-away bag with lots of twenty pound notes in it.) DOCTOR: That's probably quite a lot, isn't it? Looks like a lot. Is it a lot? I can never tell. (They go into the hallway. The lights upstairs are flickering.) DOCTOR: Don't spend it all on sweets, unless you like sweets. I like sweets. Ooo. (The Doctor gives Craig a couple of air kisses about six inches from each cheek.) DOCTOR: That's how we greet each other nowadays, isn't it? I'm the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don't know why. I call me the Doctor, too. Still don't know why. CRAIG: Craig Owens. The Doctor? DOCTOR: Yep. Who lives upstairs? CRAIG: Just some bloke. DOCTOR: What's he look like? CRAIG: Normal. He's very quiet. (Crash.) CRAIG: Usually. Sorry, who are you again? Hello? [Flat] CRAIG: Excuse me? DOCTOR: Ah. I suppose that's dry rot? CRAIG: Or damp. Or mildew. DOCTOR: Or none of the above. CRAIG: I'll get someone to fix it. DOCTOR: No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor, don't call me the Rotmeister. This is the most beautiful parlour I have ever seen. You're obviously a man of impeccable taste. I can stay, Craig, can't I? Say I can. CRAIG: You haven't even seen the room. DOCTOR: The room? CRAIG: Your room. DOCTOR: My room? Oh, yes. My room. My room. Take me to my room. [Doctor's room] (Eighties decor.) CRAIG: Yeah, this is Mark's old room. He owns the place. Moved out about a month ago. This uncle he'd never even heard of died and left a load of money in the will. DOCTOR: How very convenient. This'll do just right. In fact. (Another loud crash from above. The Doctor tests the air with a damp finger.) DOCTOR: No time to lose. I'll take it. Ah you'll want to see my credentials. There. (The psychic paper gets passed behind the Doctor's back and shown to Craig three times.) DOCTOR: National Insurance number. NHS number. References. CRAIG: Is that a reference from the Archbishop of Canterbury? DOCTOR: I'm his special favourite. Are you hungry? I'm hungry. CRAIG: I haven't got anything in. [Flat] DOCTOR: You've got everything I need for an omelette fines herbes, pour deux. So, who's the girl on the fridge? (A photograph of Craig and Sophie, along with the Vincent van Gogh Self-portrait in Straw Hat postcard.) CRAIG: My friend. Sophie. DOCTOR: Girlfriend? CRAIG: A friend who is a girl. There's nothing going on. DOCTOR: Oh, that's completely normal. Works for me. CRAIG: We met at work about a year ago, at the call centre. DOCTOR: Oh really, a communications exchange? That could be handy. CRAIG: Firm's going down though. The bosses are using a totally rubbish business model. I know what they should do. I got a plan all worked out. But I'm just a phone drone, I can't go running in saying I know best. Why am I telling you this? I don't even know you. DOCTOR: Well, I've got one of those faces. People never stop blurting out their plans while I'm around. CRAIG: Right. Where's your stuff? DOCTOR: Oh, don't worry, it'll materialise. If all goes to plan. [Tardis] (The Tardis is struggling to stay solid.) AMY: Come on, which one? Which one? No. Why won't you land? [Flat] (The omelettes have been demolished.) CRAIG: Oh, that was incredible. That was absolutely brilliant. Where did you learn to cook? DOCTOR: Paris, in the eighteenth century. No, hang on, that's not recent, is it? Seventeenth? No, no, no. Twentieth. Sorry, I'm not used to doing them in the right order. CRAIG: Has anyone ever told you that you're a bit weird? DOCTOR: They never really stop. Ever been to Paris, Craig? CRAIG: Nah. I can't see the point of Paris. I'm not much of a traveller. DOCTOR: I can tell from your sofa. CRAIG: My sofa? DOCTOR: You're starting to look like it. CRAIG: Thanks, mate, that's lovely. No, I like it here. I'd miss it, I'd miss DOCTOR: Those keys. CRAIG: What? DOCTOR: You're sort of fondling them. CRAIG: I'm holding them. DOCTOR: Right. CRAIG: Anyway. These, these are your keys. DOCTOR: I can stay? CRAIG: Yeah, you're weird and you can cook. It's good enough for me. Right. Outdoor, front door, your door. DOCTOR: My door. My place. My gaff. Ha ha! Yes. Me with a key. CRAIG: And listen, Mark and I, we had an arrangement where if you ever need me out of your hair, just give me a shout, okay? DOCTOR: Why would I want that? CRAIG: In case you want to bring someone round. A girlfriend or, a boyfriend? CRAIG: Oh, I will. I'll shout if that happens. Yes. Something like, I was not expecting this! By the way, that. The rot. I've got the strangest feeling we shouldn't touch it. [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: Earth to Pond, Earth to Pond. [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC]: Come in, Pond. AMY: Doctor! (Massive feedback through the earpiece.) AMY: Sorry. DOCTOR: Could you not wreck my new earpiece, Pond? [Craig's room] (Craig is on his phone and looking at the bank notes.) CRAIG: No, I mean, he seems a laugh. He's a bit weird. Good weird, you know? SOPHIE [OC]: And he just happens to have three grand on him in a paper bag? CRAIG: Yeah. [Sophie's room] SOPHIE: Wait, wait. The Doctor? [Craig's room] SOPHIE [OC]: Craig, what if he's a dealer? [Aickman Road] (A woman is walking along after a late night at a club.) MAN [OC]: Hello. Stop, please. Can you hear me? I need your help. [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: How's the Tardis coping? [Tardis] (Amy holds out the hand set.) AMY: See for yourself. [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: Ooo, nasty. She's locked in a materialisation loop, trying to land again [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC]: But she can't. AMY: Hmm. And whatever's stopping her is upstairs in that flat. So, go upstairs and sort it. [Aickman Road] MAN [OC]: Please. My little girl's hurt. (The woman goes inside.) [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: I don't know what it is yet. Anything that can stop the Tardis from landing is big. Scary big. [Tardis] AMY: Wait. Are you scared? [House] (A seemingly younger man is standing at the top of the stairs.) MAN [OC]: I'm so sorry, but will you help me? Please? CLUBBER: Help you? (She goes up the stairs.) [Craig's room] SOPHIE [OC]: A bow tie? Are you serious? DOCTOR [OC]: Be fair. Could be even CRAIG: Hang on a sec. [Sophie's room] SOPHIE: What? Craig. [Craig's room] SOPHIE [OC]: Craig? (Craig has got out of bed to listen to the Doctor's voice coming through the wall.) DOCTOR [OC]: Orange juice. Neocene Arbuckle. Rare tarantula on the table. Oh. [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: I can't go up there until I know what it is and how to deal with it. And it is vital that this man upstairs doesn't realise who and what I am. So no sonicking. No advanced technology. I can only use this because we're on scramble. To anyone else hearing this conversation, we're talking absolute gibberish. [Craig's room] DOCTOR [OC]: Practical eruption in chicken. Descartes Lombardy spiral. [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: Now all I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? AMY [OC]: Have you seen you? DOCTOR: So you're just going to be snide. No helpful hints? [Tardis] AMY: Hmm. Well, here's one. Bow tie, get rid. [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: Bow ties are cool. Come on, Amy, I'm a normal bloke. Tell me what normal blokes do. AMY [OC]: They watch telly, they play football [Tardis] AMY: They go down the pub. [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: I could do those things. I don't, but I could. (Bang upstairs.) DOCTOR: Hang on. Wait, wait, wait. Amy? (The Tardis is going crazy and the hands on the Doctor's alarm clock and wrist watch are going backwards and forwards very rapidly.) DOCTOR: Interesting. Localised time loop. [Tardis] AMY: Ow. What's all that? [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: Time distortion. Whatever's happening upstairs is still affecting you. (Lights are flashing in the upstairs flat. The woman is screaming.) [Tardis] AMY: It's stopped. Ish. [Doctor's room] AMY [OC]: How about your end? DOCTOR: My end's good. AMY [OC]: So [Tardis] AMY: Doesn't sound great, but nothing to worry about? [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: No, no, no, not really. Just keep the zigzag plotter on full. [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC]: That'll protect you. AMY: Ow. [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: Amy, I said the zigzag plotter. [Tardis] AMY: I pulled the zigzag plotter. [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: What, you're standing with the door behind you? [Tardis] AMY: Yes. [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: Okay, take two steps to your right and pull it again. (Still the same switch, mind you.) DOCTOR: Now, I must not use the sonic. I've got work to do. [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC]: Need to pick up a few items. AMY: Hey. [Aickman Road] (The Doctor returns to the terrace with a shopping trolley full of miscellanea. A cat protests.) DOCTOR: Shush. Don't get comfortable. [Corridor] (Craig is waiting for the bathroom. The Doctor is singing to the tune of La Donna e mobile.) DOCTOR [OC]: Ta ra ra boom de ay quanda rilo, something is happening.) CRAIG: Doctor. DOCTOR [OC]: Hello? CRAIG: How long are you going to be in there? DOCTOR [OC]: Oh, sorry. I like a good soak. (Banging from upstairs.) CRAIG: What the hell was that? [Bathroom] (The Doctor is in the shower.) DOCTOR: What did you say? [Corridor] CRAIG: I'm just going to go upstairs. See if he's okay. [Bathroom] DOCTOR: Sorry? (Craig goes up the stairs.) DOCTOR: What did you say? [Upstairs door] (A grey haired figure opens the door on the chain.) MAN: Yes? Hello? [Bathroom] DOCTOR: Craig? (The Doctor gets out of the shower, slips and falls.) DOCTOR: Ow. [Upstairs door] CRAIG: It's me from downstairs. I heard a big bang. [Bathroom] DOCTOR: No choice. It's sonicking time. (The Doctor grabs an electric toothbrush.) [Upstairs door] MAN: Thank you, Craig, but I don't need your help. [House] (The Doctor, with a towel around his waist, meets Craig at the foot of the stairs. He points the toothbrush at the upstairs door and makes it go whirr.) DOCTOR: What happened, what's going on? CRAIG: Is that my toothbrush? DOCTOR: Correct. You spoke to the man upstairs? CRAIG: Yeah. DOCTOR: What did he look like? CRAIG: More normal than you do at the moment, mate. What are you doing? DOCTOR: I thought you might be in trouble. CRAIG: Thanks. Well, if I ever am, you can come and save me with my toothbrush. (Craig's phone rings inside the flat, so he goes to answer it. The Doctor starts up the stairs as Sophie comes in the front door.) SOPHIE: Oh! Hello. DOCTOR: Ah! Hello. The Doctor. SOPHIE: Right. DOCTOR: You must be Sophie. (Air kisses for a greeting again.) SOPHIE: Oh. Oh. [Flat] CRAIG: No, Dom's in Malta. There's nobody around. Hang on a sec. We've got a match today, pub league. We're one down if you fancy it? DOCTOR: Pub league. A drinking competition? CRAIG: No, football. Play football. DOCTOR: Football. Football. Yes, blokes play football. I'm good at football, I think. CRAIG: You've saved my life. I've got somebody. Yeah, all right, I'll see you down there. Hey, Soph. SOPHIE: Hey, I thought I'd come early and meet your new flat mate. DOCTOR: Do you play, Sophie? CRAIG: No, Soph just stands on the sidelines. She's my mascot. SOPHIE: I'm your mascot? Mascot? "CRAIG; Well, yeah, not my mascot. It's a football match. I can't take a date." SOPHIE: I didn't say I was your date. CRAIG: Neither did I. DOCTOR: Better get dressed. CRAIG: The spare kit's just in the bottom drawer. DOCTOR: Bit of a mess. (The Doctor goes into his room and shuts the door.) CRAIG: What do you think? SOPHIE: You didn't say he was gorgeous. (The Doctor puts his head out of his room.) CRAIG: You unlocked the door. How did you do that? Those are your keys. You must have left them last time you came here. SOPHIE: Yeah, but I. How do you know these are my keys? CRAIG: I've been holding them. SOPHIE: I have got another set. DOCTOR: You've got two sets of keys to someone else's house? SOPHIE: Yeah? DOCTOR: I see. You must like it here too. [Doctor's room] (Putting on the number 11 shirt back to front.) DOCTOR: So, I'm going out. If I hang about the house all the time, him upstairs might get suspicious and notice me. [Tardis] AMY: Football. Okay, well done. That is normal. DOCTOR [OC]: Yeah, football. All outdoorsy. [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: Now, football's the one with the sticks, isn't it? [Park] CRAIG: What are you actually called? What's your proper name? DOCTOR: Just call me the Doctor. SOPHIE: Yeah. CRAIG: I can't go up to these guys and say hey, this is my new flat mate, he's called the Doctor. DOCTOR: Why not? CRAIG: Because it's weird. (They get to the pitch.)  SEAN: All right, Craig. Soph. All right, mate. DOCTOR: Hello, I'm Craig's new flat mate. I'm called the Doctor. (Air kisses not well received.) SEAN: All right, Doctor. I'm Sean. So, where are you strongest? DOCTOR: Arms. CRAIG: No, he means what position on the field. DOCTOR: Not sure. The front? The side? Below. SEAN: Are you any good though? DOCTOR: Let's find out. (The game is underway.) WOMAN: Yeah, we're going to win. (The Doctor is very nimble, dodging other players whilst dribbling the ball.) SOPHIE: That's not bad. Yes! Go! CRAIG: One two. One two. (But he doesn't pass to Craig.) SOPHIE: Go on, Doctor! Go on, Doctor! (Goal!) SOPHIE: Doctor! Doctor! You're brilliant. You're amazing. PLAYER: Come on, Craig. Catch up, mate. SOPHIE: Come on, Craig. Show them what you've got. (Craig is about to take the kick when the Doctor steals it from him and scores again to general rejoicing.) DOCTOR: Oh yes, I love this game. SPECTATORS: Doctor! Doctor! Doctor! Doctor! (More goals and Craig gets more annoyed.) [Aickman Road] (A woman is passing by when she hears a girl's voice coming from the intercom.) GIRL [OC]: Please can you help me? Can you help me, please? Can you help me? SANDRA: Hello? (The door unlocks and she goes inside.) [House] (A little girl is standing at the top of the stairs, holding a doll.) GIRL: I've lost my mum and I don't know where she is. Please can you help me? SANDRA: Help you? You poor thing. What's happened? GIRL: Can you help me find her? (Sandra goes up the stairs.) [Park] SEAN: You are so on the team. Next week we've got the Crown and Anchor. We're going to annihilate them. DOCTOR: Annihilate? No. No violence, do you understand me? Not while I'm around. Not today, not ever. I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm, and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you? SEAN: Yeah. DOCTOR: Lovely. What sort of time? (Craig opens a can of drink and gets sprayed with the foam. Then it repeats again and again. Only the Doctor is unaffected. He runs.) DOCTOR: Amy? [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC]: Amy? AMY: It's happening again. Worse. [Park] DOCTOR: What does the scanner say? [Tardis] AMY: A lot of nines. Is it good that they're nines? Tell me it's good that they're all nines. [Park] DOCTOR: Yes, yes, it's, it's good. Zigzag plotter. Zigzag plotter, Amy. (She fiddles with the lever. There is a bang and Amy is thrown to the floor. She screams.) [Park] DOCTOR: Amy? Are you there? [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC]: Amy? AMY: Yes. Hello. [Park] DOCTOR: Oh, thank heavens. I thought for a moment the Tardis had been flung off into the vortex [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC]: With you inside it, lost forever. AMY: What, you mean that could actually happen? [Park] AMY [OC]: You have got to get me out of here. DOCTOR: How are the numbers? [Tardis] AMY: All fives. [Park] (The time loop has stopped.) DOCTOR: Fives? Even better. [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC]: Still, it means the effect's almost unbelievably powerful and dangerous, but don't worry. [Park] DOCTOR: Hang on, okay? [Tardis] AMY: Hey. DOCTOR [OC]: I've got some rewiring to do. AMY: Hang on. [Flat] (Craig knocks on the Doctor's door. He answers holding a traffic cone.) DOCTOR: Hello, flat mate. CRAIG: Hey, man. Er, listen. Er, Sophie's coming round tonight and I was wondering if you could give us some space? DOCTOR: Oh, don't mind me. You won't even know I'm here. (Bang upstairs.) DOCTOR: That's the idea. (He shuts the door.) DOCTOR [OC]: Yes, perfect! What a beauty. (Meanwhile, in the kitchen diner with the stain on the ceiling.) SOPHIE: That's got bigger. CRAIG: Oh, yeah. SOPHIE: Are we going out? CRAIG: I've had a bit of a weird day. Can we do pizza booze telly? SOPHIE: Great, love it. Wait. No Melina, no crises, no interruptions. (Sophie turns off her mobile phone.) CRAIG: Great. Excellent. Er, Soph. I've, I think. SOPHIE: Where's this going? CRAIG: I think that we should SOPHIE: Mmm? (The Doctor pops up behind the sofa.) DOCTOR: Hello. CRAIG: What? DOCTOR: Whoops. Sorry. Don't worry, I wasn't listening. In a world of my own down there. CRAIG: I thought you were going out? DOCTOR: Just re-connecting all the electrics. It's a real mess. Where's the on switch for this? (A normal screwdriver.) CRAIG: He really is just on his way out. SOPHIE: No, I don't mind. I mean, if you don't mind. CRAIG: I don't mind. Why would I mind? SOPHIE: Then stay. Have a drink with us. DOCTOR: What? Do I have to stay now? CRAIG: Do you want to stay? DOCTOR: I don't mind. SOPHIE: Okay. CRAIG: Great. (A little later, the Doctor is still working on the wiring loom around his neck.) SOPHIE: Because life can seem pointless, you know, Doctor. Work, weekend, work, weekend. And there's six billion people on the planet doing pretty much the same. DOCTOR: Six billion people. Watching you two at work, I'm starting to wonder where they all come from. SOPHIE: Huh? What do you mean by that? DOCTOR: So then, the call centre. That's no good, then. What do you really want to do? SOPHIE: Don't laugh. I only ever told Craig about it. I want to work looking after animals. Maybe abroad? I saw this orangutan sanctuary on telly. DOCTOR: What's stopping you? CRAIG: She can't. You need loads of qualifications. SOPHIE: Yeah, true. Plus it's scary. Everyone I know lives round here. Like, Craig got offered a job in London. Better money. He didn't take it. CRAIG: What's wrong with staying here? I can't see the point of London. DOCTOR: Well, perhaps that's you, then. Perhaps you'll just have to stay here, secure and a little bit miserable, till the day you drop. Better than trying and failing, eh? SOPHIE: You think I'd fail? DOCTOR: Everybody's got dreams, Sophie. Very few are going to achieve them, so why pretend? (The Doctor tries the wine and lets it pour back into the glass from his mouth.) DOCTOR: Perhaps, in the whole wide universe, a call centre about is where you should be. SOPHIE: Why are you saying that? That's horrible. DOCTOR: Is it true? SOPHIE: Of course it's not true. I'm not staying in a call centre all my life. I can do anything I want. (The Doctor smiles.) SOPHIE: Oh, yeah. Right. Oh, my God. Did you see what he just did? CRAIG: No, sorry, what's happening? Are you going to live with monkeys now? DOCTOR: It's a big old world, Sophie. Work out what's really keeping you here, eh? SOPHIE: I don't know. I don't know. [House] (Sophie is leaving.) CRAIG: So, are you going to be taking off then? Seeing the world? SOPHIE: What, do you think I should? CRAIG: Yeah. Like the Doctor says, what's, what's keeping you here? SOPHIE: Yeah, exactly. What. Bye. CRAIG: See you. (They hug.) CRAIG: See you in a bit. SOPHIE: Yeah. [Doctor's room] (The Doctor has build a serious mega-gizmo. It includes a bicycle wheel, an umbrella, a rotary clothes line, a lamp shade and the bicycle's pedals, with a rake, a broom and an oar as outriggers and the traffic cone on top.) DOCTOR: Right. Shield's up. Let's scan. (He sets it spinning.) AMY [OC]: What are you getting? DOCTOR: Upstairs. [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC]: No traces of high technology. Totally [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: Normal? No, no, no, no, no, it can't be. It's too normal. [Tardis] AMY: Only for you could too normal be a problem. You said I could be lost forever. Just go upstairs. [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: Without knowing and get myself killed? Then you really are lost. If I could just get a look in there. Hold on. Use the data bank. Get me the plans of this building. I want to know its history, the layout, everything. [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC: ]Meanwhile, I shall recruit a spy. [Flat] (Craig is starting to tidy up when he decided to examine the stain more closely.) CRAIG: Rotmeister. (He touches the stain and there is a hissing sound.) CRAIG: Ow! Ow. [Corridor] (Next morning, the Doctor is carrying a tray.) DOCTOR: Craig? Craig? Breakfast. It's normal. Craig? [Craig's room] DOCTOR: Craig. Craig, Craig, Craig. I told you not to touch it. Look, what's that? (There is a green line up the inside of Craig's forearm.) DOCTOR: It's an unfamiliar and obviously poisonous substance. Oh, I know what'd be really clever, I'll stick my hand in it. Come on, Craig, breathe. (The Doctor hits Craig's chest. Craig gasps.) DOCTOR: Come on, Craig, breathe. Thems are healthy footballer's lungs. [Flat] (The Doctor runs back to the kitchenette and stuffs as many teabags as possible into the commemorative Royal Wedding teapot.) DOCTOR: Right, reverse the enzyme decay. Excite the tannin molecules. [Craig's room] (And pours the super-strong tea straight into Craig's mouth.) CRAIG: I've got to go to work. DOCTOR: On no account. You need rest. One more. CRAIG: It's the planning meeting. It's important. DOCTOR: You're important. You're going to be fine, Craig. (The Doctor leaves him at 7.15. Craig reawakens at 14.45. CRAIG: What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. [Call centre] MICHAEL: Oh, afternoon. CRAIG: I'm so sorry, Michael. I don't know what happened. I've got no excuse. DOCTOR: I think that's not what my screen is telling me, Mister Lang. CRAIG: What's he doing here? What are you doing here? DOCTOR: If that's your attitude, Mister Lang, please take your custom elsewhere. CRAIG: No, no, no, that's one of my best clients. DOCTOR: Hello, Craig. How are you feeling? Had some time to kill. I was curious. Never worked in an office. Never worked in anywhere. (A straining ladle is twitching on the desk.) CRAIG: You're insane. MICHAEL: Leave off the Doctor. I love the Doctor. He was brilliant in the planning meeting. CRAIG: You went to the planning meeting? DOCTOR: Yes. I was your representative. We don't need Mister Lang any more. Rude Mister Lang. SOPHIE: Here you go, and I found some custard creams. DOCTOR: Sophie, my hero. SOPHIE: Hi, Craig. I went on the web, applied for a wildlife charity thing. They said I could always start as a volunteer straight away. Should I do it? CRAIG: Yeah, great. Yeah, good. Go for it. DOCTOR: You look awful. About turn. Bed. Now. Who next? Oh, yes. Hello, Mister Joergensen. Can you hold? I have to eat a biscuit. [Doctor's room] (The mega-gizmo is still spinning.) CRAIG: What the hell? [House] (A cat is coming down the stairs.) DOCTOR: Have you been upstairs? Yes? [Flat] (Craig is throwing darts when he hears the Doctor's voice.) DOCTOR [OC]: You can do it. Show me what's up there? What's behind that door? Try to show me. Oh, but that doesn't make sense. Ever see anyone go up there? Lots of people? Good, good. What kind of people? [House] (The cat meows.) DOCTOR: People who never came back down. Oh, that's bad. That's very bad. (Craig opens the door.) DOCTOR: Oh, hello. CRAIG: I can't take this any more. I want you to go. [Flat] CRAIG: You can have this back and all. (The money.) DOCTOR: What have I done? CRAIG: For a start, talking to a cat. DOCTOR: Lots of people talk to cats. CRAIG: And everybody loves you, and you're better at football than me, and my job, and now Sophie's all oh, monkeys, monkeys, and then there's that. [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: It's art. A statement on modern society, Ooo, ain't modern society awful. CRAIG: Me and you, it's not going to work out. You've only been here three days. These have been the three weirdest days of my life. DOCTOR: Your days will get a lot weirder if I go. CRAIG: It was good weirdness. It's not, it's bad weird. I can't do this any more. DOCTOR: Craig, I can't leave this place. I'm like you, I can't see the point of anywhere else. Madrid? Ha, what a dump. I have to stay. CRAIG: No, you don't. You have to leave. DOCTOR: I can't go. CRAIG: Just get out! DOCTOR: Right. Only way. I'm going to show you something, but shush. Really, shush. Oh, I am going to regret this. Okay, right. First, general background. (The Doctor head butts Craig.) CRAIG: Argh. (There is a very rapid montage.) CRAIG: Oh. DOCTOR: Ow. CRAIG: You're a DOCTOR: Yes. CRAIG: From DOCTOR: Shush. CRAIG: You've got a Tardis. DOCTOR: Yes. Shush. Eleventh. Right. Okay, specific detail. (Another Glasgow kiss.) BOTH: Argh. DOCTOR [memory]: Amy! Amy! CRAIG: You saw my ad in the paper shop window. DOCTOR: Yes, with this right above it. Which is odd, because Amy hasn't written it yet. (A note saying Doctor - this one no 79a Aickman Road Amy xx) DOCTOR: Time travel. It can happen. CRAIG: That's a scanner. You used non-technological technology of Lammasteen! DOCTOR: Shut up! [House] (Sophie enters. The little girl with the doll is at the top of the stairs.) GIRL: Please can you help me? SOPHIE: Hi. GIRL: Please, will you help me? SOPHIE: What's the matter, my love? Help you? (Sophie goes up the stairs.) [Doctor's room] CRAIG: Argh. DOCTOR: I am never, never doing that ever, ever again. (He activates his Bluetooth.) DOCTOR: Amy. CRAIG: That's Amy Pond. DOCTOR: Oh, of course, you can understand us now. Hurrah. Got those plans yet? [Tardis] AMY: Still searching for them. DOCTOR [OC]: I've worked it out, with psychic help from a cat. AMY: A cat? [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: Yes. I know he's got a time engine in the flat upstairs. [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC]: He's using innocent people to try and launch it. [Doctor's room] DOCTOR: Whenever he does, they get burnt up, hence the stain on your ceiling. CRAIG: From the ceiling. DOCTOR: Well done, Craig. [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC]: And you, Miss Pond, nearly get thrown off into the Vortex. AMY: Lovely. [Doctor's room] (Crash!) CRAIG: People are dying up there? People are dying. People are dying. People are dying. (Another time loop.) DOCTOR: Amy. CRAIG: They're being killed. DOCTOR: Someone's up there. [House] AMY [OC]: Doctor? DOCTOR: Hang on. Craig, come on. Someone's dying up there. (They see Sophie's pink key ring in the door.) CRAIG: Sophie. It's Sophie that's dying up there! It's Sophie! [Tardis] AMY: Doctor! Argh! [Upstairs door] CRAIG: Where's Sophie? "DOCTOR; Wait, wait." [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC]: Amy? AMY: Are you upstairs? [Upstairs door] DOCTOR: Just going in. AMY [OC]: But you can't be upstairs. DOCTOR: Of course I can be upstairs. [Tardis] AMY: No, I've got the plans. You cannot be upstairs, it's a one-storey building. [Upstairs door] AMY [OC]: There is no upstairs. [Timeship] CRAIG: What? What? DOCTOR: Oh. Oh, of course. The time engine isn't in the flat, the time engine is the flat. Someone's attempt to build a Tardis. CRAIG: No, there's always been an upstairs. (The door they have just come through flickers on and off.) DOCTOR: Has there? Think about it. CRAIG: Yes. No. I don't DOCTOR: Perception filter. It's more than a disguise. It tricks your memory. (Scream.) CRAIG: Sophie! Sophie! Oh, my God, Sophie! (Sophie is being pulled towards the central console by electricity.) SOPHIE: Craig. DOCTOR: It's controlling her. It's willing her to touch the activator. CRAIG: That's not going to have her. (Sophie's hand is pulled onto a dome shaped control. The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Ah, deadlock seal. CRAIG: You've got to do something. (Sophie falls back.) DOCTOR: What? Why's it let her go? So, okay. (A man suddenly appears.) AUTOPILOT: You will help me. DOCTOR: Right. Stop. Crashed ship, let's see. Hello, I'm Captain Troy Handsome of International Rescue. Please state the nature of your emergency. AUTOPILOT: The ship has crashed. The crew are dead. A pilot is required. DOCTOR: You're the emergency crash program. A hologram. What, you've been luring people up here so you can try them out? (The hologram flickers between old man, young man and girl.) AUTOPILOT: You will help me. You will help me. You will help me. SOPHIE: Craig, what is this? Where am I? DOCTOR: Hush. Human brains aren't strong enough, they just burn. But you're stupid, though. You just keep trying. AUTOPILOT: Seventeen people have been tried. Six billion four hundred thousand and twenty six remain. SOPHIE: Seriously, what is going on? DOCTOR: Oh, for goodness sake. The top floor of Craig's building is in reality an alien space ship intent on slaughtering the population of this planet. Any questions? No, good. SOPHIE: Yes, I have questions. AUTOPILOT: The correct pilot has now been found. DOCTOR: Yes, I was a bit worried that you were going to say that. [Tardis] AMY: He means you, Doctor, doesn't he? [Timeship] (The Autopilot uses its energy to drag the Doctor towards the console.) AUTOPILOT: The correct pilot has been found. The correct pilot has been found. The correct pilot has been found. [Tardis] AMY: What's happening? [Timeship] DOCTOR: It's pulling me in. I'm the new pilot. AMY [OC]: Could you do it? [Tardis] AMY: Could you fly the ship safely? [Timeship] DOCTOR: No, I'm way too much for this ship. My hand touches that panel, the planet doesn't blow up, the whole solar system does. AUTOPILOT: The correct pilot has been found. DOCTOR: No. Worst choice ever, I promise you. Stop this. AMY [OC]: Doctor? [Tardis] AMY: It's getting worse. [Timeship] DOCTOR: It doesn't want everyone. Craig, it didn't want you. CRAIG: I spoke to him and he said I couldn't help him. DOCTOR: It didn't want Sophie before but now it does. What's changed? Argh. No. No, I gave her the idea of leaving. It's a machine that needs to leave. It wants people who want to escape. And you don't want to leave, Craig. You're Mister Sofa Man. [Tardis] AMY: Doctor! [Timeship] DOCTOR: Craig, you can shut down the engine. Put your hand on the panel and concentrate on why you want to stay. SOPHIE: Craig, no. CRAIG: Will it work? DOCTOR: Yes. CRAIG: Are you sure? DOCTOR: Yes. CRAIG: Is that a lie? DOCTOR: Of course it's a lie. CRAIG: It's good enough for me. Geronimo! Argh! (Craig puts his hand on the nearest control panel. The Doctor is released.) SOPHIE: Craig! [Tardis] AMY: Doctor! [Timeship] (Smoke is coming off Craig's hand.) DOCTOR: Craig, what's keeping you here? Think about everything that makes you want to stay here. Why don't you want to leave? CRAIG: Sophie. I don't want to leave Sophie. I can't leave Sophie. I love Sophie. SOPHIE: I love you, too, Craig, you idiot. (Sophie puts her hand on Craig's.) [Tardis] AMY: Doctor! [Timeship] CRAIG: Honestly, do you mean that? SOPHIE: Of course I mean it. Do you mean it? CRAIG: I've always meant it. Seriously though, do you mean it? SOPHIE: Yes. [Tardis] AMY: Ugh. CRAIG [OC]: What about the monkeys? [Timeship] DOCTOR: Oh, not now, not again. Craig, the planet's about to burn. For God's sake, kiss the girl. [Tardis] AMY: Kiss the girl! [Timeship] (Craig and Sophie kiss, and his hand is released from the panel. The Tardis stops shaking.)  AMY [OC]: Doctor? [Tardis] AMY: You've done it. Ha ha! [Timeship] AMY [OC]: You've done it. Oh, now the screen's just zeros. Now it's minus ones, minus twos, minus threes. [Tardis] AMY: Big yes. AUTOPILOT: Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. DOCTOR: Big no. AUTOPILOT: Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. (Craig and Sophie come up for air.) CRAIG: Did we switch it off? DOCTOR: Emergency shutdown. It's imploding. Everybody out, out, out! AUTOPILOT: Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me Help me. Help me. Help me. [Tardis] AMY: Doctor? [Aickman Road] AUTOPILOT [OC]: Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. (The Doctor, Craig and Sophie run down the stairs and outside. The top floor and roof turn into the Timeship which then flies away, leaving a totally incongruous one story building at the end of an entirely two storey terrace. A man walks by carrying a child.) CRAIG: Look at them. Didn't they see that? The whole top floor just vanished. DOCTOR: Perception filter. There never was a top floor. [Flat] (Craig and Sophie are snogging on the sofa.) CRAIG: So have we spoiled our friendship, then? SOPHIE: Totally ruined it. CRAIG: And what about the monkeys? We could save them together, you know. Do whatever we want. I could see the point of Paris if you were there with me. SOPHIE: First, let's destroy our friendship completely. (The Doctor enters from his room, and turns his back discreetly before leaving the keys on the sideboard.) CRAIG: Oi. SOPHIE: What, you're trying to sneak off? DOCTOR: Yes, well, you were sort of busy. CRAIG: I want you to keep these. (The keys.) DOCTOR: Thank you. Because I might pop back soon, have another little stay. CRAIG: No, you won't. I've been in your head, remember. I still want you to keep them. DOCTOR: Thank you, Craig. CRAIG: Thank you, Doctor. DOCTOR: Sophie. Now then. Six billion four hundred thousand and twenty six people in the world. That's the number to beat. SOPHIE: Yeah. (The Doctor leaves. Behind the refrigerator with the photograph of the Doctor in his football kit is a crack in the wall. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Back in time. You need to go to the paper shop and leave that note for me. AMY: Right little matchmaker, aren't you? Can't you find me a fellow? DOCTOR: Oh, rectifier's playing up again Hold on. You write the note and I'll change that will. AMY: You got a pen? DOCTOR: Make sure it's a red pen. (Amy goes through the Doctor's jacket pockets and finds the ring box. She opens it, and remembers a crack in her wall.) [France 1890] (Night. It is raining. In a bedroom, an unappreciated artist is having a breakdown by his new painting of Still Life with Twelve Sunflowers, dedicated to Amy. His doctor is in attendance.) GACHET: Vincent, can you hear me? Please. VERNET: It's not enough he goes drinking all round the town. Now the whole neighbourhood has to listen to his screaming. GACHET: He's very ill, Madame Vernet. (Madame Vernet looks at another painting, which we do not get to see.) VERNET: Look at this, even worse than his usual rubbish. What's it supposed to be? [Cabinet War Rooms, London 1941] (Bracewell brings the picture to the Prime Minister.) BRACEWELL: It was found behind the wall, in an attic in France. It's genuine. It's a Van Gogh. CHURCHILL: Why bring it to me? BRACEWELL: Because it's obviously a message, and you can see who it's for. CHURCHILL: Can't say I understand it. BRACEWELL: You're not supposed to understand it, Prime Minister. You're supposed to deliver it. [Stormcage Containment Facility 5145] (A guard answers a telephone.) GUARD: Cell four two six. The Doctor? Do you mean Doctor Song? (River goes to the bars of her cell.) RIVER: Give me that. Seriously, just give it to me. I'm entitled to phone calls. (The guard gives her the telephone.) RIVER: Doctor? [Cabinet War Rooms] CHURCHILL: No, and neither are you. Where is he? RIVER [OC]: You're phoning the Time Vortex. It doesn't always work. But the Tardis is smart. She's re-routed the call. [Stormcage] RIVER: Talk quickly. This connection will last less than a minute. GUARD: Doctor Song. Are you finished with that? (River returns the telephone with a smile.) RIVER: You're new here, aren't you? GUARD: First day. RIVER: Then I'm very sorry. (River pulls him to the bars and kisses him. Later, a group of armed guards run to the cell. The guard is inside, pointing his gun at something.) GUARD 2: Stay exactly where you are. GUARD: She had the lipstick. The hallucinogenic lipstick. She tried to use it on me. Your tricks don't work in here, Doctor Song. (He is pointing his gun at a stick drawing on the wall with the word 'Bye!' in a bubble.) [The Royal Collection 5145] (Empty frames hang in the empty hallways. River finds the picture she is looking for and tears it out of its frame. She is halfway up a staircase when the lights come on.) LIZ: This is the Royal Collection, and I'm the bloody Queen. What are you doing here? RIVER: It's about the Doctor, Ma'am. You met him once, didn't you? I know he came here. LIZ: The Doctor? RIVER: He's in trouble. I need to find him. LIZ: Then why are you stealing a painting? RIVER: Look at it. I need to find the Doctor, and I need to show him this. [The Maldovarium 5145] (River is at a nightclub table with a blue skinned man.) DORIUM: Well now, word on the Belt is you're looking for time travel. RIVER: Are you selling? (Dorium snaps his fingers and an alien brings a box.) DORIUM: A vortex manipulator, fresh off the wrist of a handsome Time Agent. (He opens the box and sighs.) DORIUM: I said off the wrist. (The alien takes the box away.) DORIUM: Not cheap, Doctor Song. Have you brought me a pretty toy? (She takes off one of her earrings.) RIVER: This is a Calisto Pulse. It can disarm micro-explosives from up to twenty feet. DORIUM: What kind of micro-explosives? RIVER: The kind I just put in your wine. [Tardis] (Amy is studying the engagement ring that she found in the Doctor's jacket pocket.) DOCTOR: Vavoom! AMY: Va-what? DOCTOR: I can't believe I've never thought of this before. It's genius. Right. Landed. Come on. AMY: Where are we? "DOCTOR; Planet One. The oldest planet in the universe. And there's a cliff of pure diamond, and according to legend, on the cliff there's writing. Letters fifty feet high. A message from the dawn of time And no one knows what it says, because no one's ever translated it." DOCTOR: Till today. AMY: What happens today? DOCTOR: Us. The Tardis can translate anything. All we have to do is open the doors and read the very first words in recorded history. (So they go outside and read - Hello Sweetie ΘΣ ΦΓΥΔζ ) AMY: Vavoom. [Salisbury Plain] (The Tardis materialises at the edge of a wood, on a hill.) AMY: Right place? DOCTOR: Just followed the co-ordinates on the cliff face. Earth. Britain. one oh two am. No, pm. No, AD. (They are looking down on a Roman camp.) AMY: That's a Roman Legion. DOCTOR: Well, yeah. The Romans invaded Britain several times during this period. AMY: Oh, I know. My favourite topic at school. Invasion of the hot Italians. Yeah, I did get marked down for the title. (A soldier runs up and salutes.) CLAUDIO: Hail, Caesar! DOCTOR: Hi. CLAUDIO: Welcome to Britain. We are honoured by your presence. DOCTOR: Well, you're only human. Arise, Roman person. AMY: Why does he think you're Caesar? (Claudio has a smear of lipstick on his face.) CLAUDIO: Cleopatra will see you now. [Cleopatra's tent] RIVER: Hello, sweetie. AMY: River. Hi. DOCTOR: You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe. RIVER: You wouldn't answer your phone. (Her slaves leave and she offers the Doctor the rolled up painting.) DOCTOR: What's this? RIVER: It's a painting. Your friend Vincent. One of his final works. He had visions, didn't he? I thought you ought to know about this one. AMY: Doctor? Doctor, what is this? (It is a version of Starry Night, with an exploding Tardis in the middle. After the titles, the three are galloping along on horseback. Meanwhile -) AMY: Why is it exploding? RIVER: I assume it's some kind of warning. AMY: What, something's going to happen to the Tardis? RIVER: It might not be that literal. Anyway, this is where he wanted you. Date and map reference on the door sign, see? DOCTOR: Does it have a title? RIVER: The Pandorica Opens. (Still galloping.) DOCTOR [on horseback]: Come on. Ya! AMY: The Pandorica? What is it? RIVER: A box, a cage, a prison. It was built to contain the most feared thing in all the universe. DOCTOR: And it's a fairy tale, a legend. It can't be real. RIVER: If it is real, it's here and it's opening, and it's got something to do with your Tardis exploding. Hidden, obviously. Buried for centuries. You won't find it on a map. DOCTOR: No, but if you buried the most dangerous thing in the universe, you'd want to remember where you put it. [Stonehenge] (The riders arrive and run inside the circle. The Doctor and River start scanning the stones) AMY: How come it's not new? RIVER: Because it's already old. It's been here thousands of years. No one knows exactly how long. AMY: Okay, this Pandorica thing. Last time we saw you, you warned us about it, after we climbed out of the Byzantium. RIVER: Spoilers. AMY: No, but you told the Doctor you'd see him again when the Pandorica opens. RIVER: Maybe I did, but I haven't yet. But I will have. Doctor, I'm picking up fry particles everywhere. Energy weapons discharged on this site. DOCTOR: If the Pandorica is here, it contains the mightiest warrior in history. Now, half the galaxy would want a piece of that. Maybe even fight over it. We need to get down there. (Night time. River places a device on each corner of the Altar stone.) RIVER: Right then. Ready. (There is a sound of machinery moving, then the Altar stone moves aside to reveal a staircase down into the ground.) DOCTOR: The Underhenge. (As they go down, a nearby severed Cyberman head twitches.) [Pandorica chamber] (The Doctor lights a handy torch with his sonic screwdriver. He lights another for River and they unbar a big door, then enter.) DOCTOR: It's a Pandorica. (It is a big square monument with a circular design on each face.) RIVER: More than just a fairy tale. (The Doctor's foot touches a Cyberman's severed arm lying in the dust of the floor.) DOCTOR: There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world. AMY: How did it end up in there? DOCTOR: You know fairy tales. A good wizard tricked it. RIVER: I hate good wizards in fairy tales. They always turn out to be him. AMY: So, it's kind of like Pandora's Box, then? Almost the same name. DOCTOR: Sorry, what? AMY: The story. Pandora's Box, with all the worst things in the world in it. That was my favourite book when I was a kid. What's wrong? DOCTOR: Your favourite school topic. Your favourite story. Never ignore a coincidence, unless you're busy. In which case, always ignore a coincidence. RIVER: So can you open it? DOCTOR: Easily. Anyone can break into a prison. But I'd rather know what I'm going to find first. RIVER: You won't have long to wait. It's already opening. There are layers and layers of security protocols in there, and they're being disabled one by one. Like it's being unlocked from the inside. DOCTOR: How long do we have? RIVER: Hours at the most. DOCTOR: What kind of security? RIVER: Everything. Deadlocks, time stops, matter lines. DOCTOR: What could need all that? RIVER: What could get past all that? DOCTOR: Think of the fear that went into making this box. What could inspire that level of fear? Hello, you. Have we met? RIVER: So why would it start to open now? DOCTOR: No idea. AMY: Ahem, And how could Vincent have known about it? He won't even be born for centuries. DOCTOR: The stones. These stones are great big transmitters, broadcasting a warning to everyone, everywhere, to every time zone. The Pandorica is opening. RIVER: Doctor, everyone everywhere? DOCTOR: Even poor Vincent heard it, in his dreams. But what's in there? What could justify all this? RIVER: Doctor, everyone? DOCTOR: Anything that powerful, I'd know about it. Why don't I know? RIVER: Doctor, you said everyone could hear it. So who else is coming? DOCTOR: Oh. AMY: Oh? Oh, what? RIVER: Okay. If it is basically a transmitter, we should be able to fold back the signal. DOCTOR: Doing it. (The Doctor goes around the bases of the Sarsen stones with his sonic screwdriver.) AMY: Doing what? RIVER: Stonehenge is transmitting. It's been transmitting for a while, so who heard? DOCTOR: Okay, should be feeding back to you now. River, what's out there? RIVER: Give me a moment. DOCTOR: River, quickly. Anything? RIVER: Around this planet there are at least ten thousand starships. AMY: At least? RIVER: Ten thousand, a hundred thousand, a million, I don't know. There's too many readings. DOCTOR: What kind of starships? DALEK [OC]: Maintaining orbit. DALEK 2 [OC]: I obey. Shield cover compromised on ion sectors. AMY: Daleks. Those are Daleks. DALEK [OC]: Scan detects no temporal activity. DALEK 2 [OC]: Soft grid scan commencing. DALEK [OC]: Reverse thrust for compensatory stabilisation. RIVER: Daleks, Doctor. DALEK [OC]: Launch preliminary armaments protocol. DOCTOR: Yes. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Dalek fleet, minimum twelve thousand battleships, armed to the teeth. Ah! But we've got surprise on our side. They'll never expect three people to attack twelve thousand Dalek battleships. Because we'd be killed instantly. So it would be a fairly short surprise. Forget surprise. CYBERMAN [OC]: Course correction proceeding.) RIVER: Doctor, Cyberships. DOCTOR: No, Dalek ships. Listen to them. Those are Dalek ships. RIVER: Yes. Dalek ships and Cyberships. DOCTOR: Well, we need to start a fight, turn them on each other. I mean, that's easy. It's the Daleks. They're so cross. RIVER: Sontaran. Four battlefleets. DOCTOR: Sontarans! Talk about cross, who stole all their handbags? RIVER: Terileptil. Slitheen, Chelonian, Nestene, Drahvin. Sycorax, Haemogoth, Zygon, Atraxi, Draconian. They're all here for the Pandorica. DOCTOR: What are you? What could you possibly be? [Stonehenge] (Lots of spaceships are buzzing around in the sky.) AMY: What do we do? RIVER: Doctor, listen to me. Everything that ever hated you is coming here tonight. You can't win this. You can't even fight it. Doctor, this once, just this one time, please, you have to run. DOCTOR: Run where? RIVER: Fight how? DOCTOR: The greatest military machine in the history of the universe. AMY: What is? The Daleks? DOCTOR: No. No, no, no, no, no. The Romans. [Cleopatra's tent] (River returns to the Roman camp and is taken prisoner.) COMMANDER: So. I return to my command after one week and discover we've been playing host to Cleopatra. Who's in Egypt. And dead. RIVER: Yes. Funny how things work out. (A spaceship buzzes them.) COMMANDER: The sky is falling and you make jokes. Who are you? RIVER: When you fight Barbarians, what must they think of you? COMMANDER: Oh, riddles now. RIVER: Where do they think you come from? COMMANDER: A place more deadly and more powerful and more impatient than their tiny minds can imagine. (River uses her gun to disintegrate a wooden stand filled with ornaments.) RIVER: Where do I come from? Your world has visitors. You're all Barbarians now. COMMANDER: What is that? Tell me what? RIVER: A fool would say the work of the Gods, but you've been a soldier too long to believe there are Gods watching over us. There is, however, a man. And tonight he's going to need your help. MAN [OC]: Sir? COMMANDER: One moment. (The Commander has a whispered conference with a shady Centurion.) COMMANDER: Well, it seems you have a volunteer. [Pandorica chamber] AMY: So what's this got to do with the Tardis? DOCTOR: Nothing, as far as I know. AMY: But Vincent's painting. The Tardis was exploding. Is that going to happen? DOCTOR: One problem at a time. There's forcefield technology inside this box. If I can enhance the signal, I could extend it all over Stonehenge. Could buy us half an hour. AMY: What good is half an hour? DOCTOR: There are fruit flies live on Hoppledom Six that live for twenty minutes and they don't even mate for life. There was going to be a point to that. I'll get back to you. (Amy takes the ring box from her pocket.) AMY: So, are you proposing to someone? DOCTOR: I'm sorry? AMY: I found this in your pocket. DOCTOR: No. No, no, that's er, a memory. A friend of mine. Someone I lost. Do you mind? AMY: It's weird. I feel, I don't know, something. DOCTOR: People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces. Little things we can't quite account for. Faces in photographs, luggage, half eaten meals, rings. Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely. And if something can be remembered, it can come back. AMY: So, was she nice, your friend? DOCTOR: Remember that night you flew away with me? AMY: Of course I do. DOCTOR: And you asked me why I was taking you and I told you there wasn't a reason. I was lying. AMY: What, so you did have a reason? DOCTOR: Your house. AMY: My house. DOCTOR: It was too big. Too many empty rooms. Does it ever bother you, Amy, that your life doesn't make any sense? (An energy weapon fires at them. It is the severed Cyberman arm. They hide behind the Pandorica.) AMY: What was that? DOCTOR: Okay, I need a proper look. Got to draw its fire, give it a target. AMY: How? DOCTOR: You know how sometimes I have really brilliant ideas? AMY: Yes. DOCTOR: Sorry. (The Doctor runs out.) DOCTOR: Look at me, I'm a target! (He gets shot at and hides behind the base of a Sarsen.) AMY: What is that? DOCTOR: Cyberarm. Arm of Cyberman. AMY: And what's a Cyberman? DOCTOR: Oh, sort of part man, part robot. The organic part must have died out years ago. Now the robot part is looking for, well, fresh meat. AMY: What, us? DOCTOR: It's just like being an organ donor, except you're alive and sort of screaming. I need to get round behind it. Could you draw its fire? AMY: What, like you did? DOCTOR: You'll be fine if you're quick. It's only got one arm, literally. (Amy runs, screaming. The Doctor pounces on the arm.) DOCTOR: Come here! (He manages to sonic it.) AMY: Doctor? DOCTOR: Scrambled its circuits, but stay where you are, it could be bluffing. AMY: Bluffing? It's an arm. DOCTOR: I said stay where you are! (Something creeps up behind Amy and lassoes her ankle.) AMY: Doctor? (She is pulled to the floor.) DOCTOR: Amy! (The Cyberarm gives the Doctor an electric shock, knocking him out.) AMY: Doctor! (Amy is being attacked by the Cyberhead. She grabs it by the ears. It fizzles, then the mask pops open to reveal a skull, which falls out. Amy screams. The mask keeps snapping open and shut. She hits it against a Sarsen until it lets her go, then throws it to the floor. It crawls away.) AMY: Doctor? (The Cyberhead fires a little dart into Amy's neck.) CYBERHEAD: You will be assimilated. AMY: Yeah? You and whose body? (A headless, armless Cyberman enters. It puts its head back on then goes after the woozy Amy. She backs out through the big doors.) [Underhenge] AMY: Doctor? Doctor? (A Roman short sword pierces the door, which swings open to reveal the Cyberman skewered to the wood.) AMY: Who, who are you? (The Centurion removes his helmet.) RORY: Hello, Amy. (Amy passes out.) RORY: Whoa, whoa, whoa. (He catches her in his arms and lays her gently on a stone.) SOLDIER: Sir, the man's coming round. DOCTOR: Amy? Where's Amy? RORY: She's fine, Doctor. Just unconscious. DOCTOR: Okay. Yes, she's sedated, that's all. Half an hour, she'll be fine. Okay, Romans. Good. I was just wishing for Romans. Good old River. How many? RORY: Fifty men up top, volunteers. What about that thing? DOCTOR: Fifty? You're not exactly a legion. RORY: Your friend was very persuasive, but it's a tough sell. DOCTOR: Yes, I know that, Rory. I'm not exactly one to miss the obvious. But we need everything we can get. Okay, Cyberweapons. This is basically a sentry box, so headless wonder here was a sentry. Probably got himself duffed up by the locals. Never underestimate a Celt. RORY: Doctor? DOCTOR: Hush, Rory. Thinking. Why leave a Cyberman on guard, unless it's a Cyberthing in the box. But why would they lock up one of their own? Okay, no, not a Cyberthing, but what? What? No, I'm missing something obvious, Rory. Something big. Something right slap in front of me. I can feel it. RORY: Yeah, I think you probably are. DOCTOR: I'll get it in a minute. (The Doctor leaves with the weapons, drops them and returns. He prods Rory.) DOCTOR: Hello again. RORY: Hello. DOCTOR: How've you been? RORY: Good. Yeah. Good. I mean, Roman. DOCTOR: Rory, I'm not trying to be rude, but you died. RORY: Yeah, I know. I was there. DOCTOR: You died and then you were erased from time. You didn't just die, you were never born at all. You never existed. RORY: Erased? What does that mean? DOCTOR: How can you be here? RORY: I don't know. It's kind of fuzzy. DOCTOR: Fuzzy? RORY: Well, I died and turned into a Roman. It's very distracting. Did she miss me? (Something shakes the ground.) [Pandorica chamber] (The circular designs on the Pandorica are glowing green and moving like cog wheels.) RORY: What is it? What's happening? DOCTOR: The final phase. It's opening. [Salisbury Plain] (River is on her horse, watching the myriad of shining spaceships buzzing Stonehenge in typical Spielberg style.) RIVER: You're surrounded. Have you got a plan? DOCTOR [OC]: Yes. Now hurry up and [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: Get the Tardis here. I need equipment. What are you? They're all here, all of them, all for you. What could you possibly be? [Stonehenge] DOCTOR [OC]: Sorry, sorry, dropped it. Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica, takes the universe. But bad news, everyone, (The Doctor appears on the Altar stone.) DOCTOR: Because guess who? Ha! Listen, you lot, you're all whizzing about. It's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I am talking! The question of the hour is, who's got the Pandorica? Answer, I do. Next question. Who's coming to take it from me? Come on! Look at me. No plan, no back up, no weapons worth a damn. Oh, and something else. I don't have anything to lose! So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship, with all your silly little guns, and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way. Remember every black day I ever stopped you, and then, and then, do the smart thing. Let somebody else try first. (The spaceships retreat.) DOCTOR: That'll keep them squabbling for half an hour. Romans. [Tardis] RIVER: Okay. (She dematerialises the Tardis, but it jerks.) RIVER: What's the matter with you? [Pandorica chamber] RORY: They're still out there. What do we do now? DOCTOR: If I can stop whatever's in this box getting out, then they'll go home. RORY: Right. DOCTOR: Rory, I'm sorry. You're going to have to be very brave now. (Amy walks past Rory.) AMY: Oh, my head. DOCTOR: Ah. AMY: Ah. DOCTOR: Just your basic knock-out drops. Get some fresh air, you'll be fine. AMY: Is it safe up there? DOCTOR: Not remotely, but it's fresh. AMY: Fine. Oh, you're the guy, yeah? The one who did the swordy thing. RORY: Yeah. AMY: Well, thanks for the swording. Nice swording. (Amy heads out.) RORY: No problem. My men are up there. They'll look after you. AMY: Good. Love a Roman. RORY: She doesn't remember me. How can she not remember me? DOCTOR: Because you never existed. [Tardis] RIVER: What are you doing? What's wrong? (The Tardis lurches down the Time Vortex.) [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: There are cracks. Cracks in time. There's going to be a huge explosion in the future, on one particular day. And every other moment in history is cracking around it. RORY: So how does that work? What kind of explosion? What exploded? RIVER [memory]: And for those of us who can't read the base code of the universe? DOCTOR [memory]: Amy's time. DOCTOR: Doesn't matter. The cracks are everywhere now. Get too close to them and you can fall right out of the universe. RORY: So I fell through a crack and now I was never born? DOCTOR: Basically. RORY: Well, how did I end up here? DOCTOR: I don't know, you shouldn't have. What happened? From your point of view, what physically happened? RORY: I was in the cave, with you and Amy. I was dying, and then I was just here, a Roman soldier. A proper Roman. Head full of Roman stuff. A whole other life, just here like I'd woken up from a dream. I started to think it was a dream, you and Amy and Leadworth. And then today, in the camp, the men were talking about the visitors. The girl with the red hair. I thought you'd come back for me. But she can't even remember me. DOCTOR: Oh, shut up. RORY: What? (The Doctor throws the ring box to Rory.) DOCTOR: Go get her. RORY: But I don't understand. Why am I here? DOCTOR: Because you are. The universe is big. It's vast and complicated and ridiculous, and sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles, and that's the theory. Nine hundred years, never seen one yet, but this would do me. Now get upstairs. She's Amy and she's surrounded by Romans. I'm not sure history can take it. [Tardis] (The Tardis stops. It is creaking somewhere.) RIVER: Okay. You okay now? (River leaves. The scanner lights up. Location: Earth. Date 26/06/2010. Then it breaks, a W shaped crack in the glass.) VOICE [OC]: Silence will fall. [Outside Amy's house] (Night.) RIVER: Why have you brought me here? (She finds scorch marks in the lawn, and the front door is hanging off its hinges.) RIVER: Okay, so something's been here. [Amy's bedroom] (She follows her tricorder signal upstairs.) RIVER: Amy. Oh, Doctor, why do I let you out? (River finds a copy of The Story of Roman Britain by Amy's bed.) COMMANDER [memory]: A place more deadly and more powerful and more impatient than their tiny minds can imagine. (And a copy of the Legend of Pandora's box.) AMY [memory]: So it's kind of like Pandora's box, then? That was my favourite book when I was a kid. RIVER: Oh no. [Stonehenge] (Rory goes up to Amy.) RORY: Are you okay? AMY: Did the Doctor send you? I'm fine. He just fusses. RORY: You got a blanket. That's good. Who gave you that? AMY: One of the fellows. RORY: Which one? AMY: Just one of them. Does it matter? RORY: No. No. Forget him. It. Forget it. AMY: What's your name? RORY: I'm Rory. What's wrong? AMY: Nothing. It's just not what you expect Romans to be called. What's it short for? Roranicus? RORY: Yeah. You're crying. [Pandorica chamber] (The Doctor contacts River.) DOCTOR: The Tardis, where is it? Hurry up. [Tardis] RIVER: Don't raise your voice, don't look alarmed, just listen. [Stonehenge] RORY: Hey, what's wrong? AMY: Nothing. It's like, it's like I'm happy. Why am I happy? [Tardis] RIVER: They're not real. They can't be. They're all right here in the story book. Those actual Romans. The ones I sent you, the ones you're with right now. They're all in a book in Amy's house. A children's picture book. [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: What are you even doing there? RIVER [OC]: It doesn't matter. The Tardis went wrong. [Tardis] RIVER: Doctor, how is this possible? [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: Something's using her memories. Amy's memories. RIVER [OC]: But how? DOCTOR: You said something had been there. RIVER [OC]: Yes. [Tardis] RIVER: There's burn marks on the grass outside. [Pandorica chamber] RIVER [OC]: Landing patterns. DOCTOR: If they've been to her house, they could have used her psychic residue. Structures can hold memories, that's why houses have ghosts. They could've taken a snapshot of Amy's memories. But why? [Tardis] RIVER: Doctor, who are those Romans? [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: Projections, or duplicates. [Tardis] RIVER: But they were helping us. My lipstick even worked. [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: They might think they're real. The perfect disguise. They actually believe their own cover story, right until they're activated. [Tardis] RIVER: Doctor, that Centurion. (River has found a photograph of Amy in her policewoman outfit with Rory dressed as a Roman.) [Stonehenge] RORY: What's the matter? AMY: Nothing. I don't know why I'm doing that. RORY: It's me. Amy, please. It's me. [Tardis] RIVER: It's a trap. It has to be. They used Amy to construct a scenario you'd believe, to get close to you. [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: Why? Who'd do that? What for? It doesn't make sense. [Tardis] (Something goes Bang.) DOCTOR [OC]: River? River? [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: River, what's happening? [Tardis] RIVER: I don't know. It's the engines. Doctor, there's something wrong with the Tardis, like something else is controlling it. [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: You're flying it wrong. [Tardis] RIVER: I'm flying it perfectly. You taught me. [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: Where are you? What's the date reading? [Tardis] It's the 26th of June, 2010. [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: You need to get out of there now. Any other time zone. [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC}: Just go. RIVER: I can't break free. [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: Well, then shut down the Tardis. Shut down everything! [Tardis] RIVER: I can't! VOICE [OC]: Silence will fall. Silence will fall. [Stonehenge] AMY: But I don't know you, I've never seen you before in my life. RORY: You have. You know you have. It's me. AMY: Why am I crying? RORY: Because you remember me. I came back. You're crying because you remember me. [Tardis] RIVER: Someone else is flying it. An external force. I've lost control. [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: But how? Why? (A high pitched noise fills the chamber and the Romans slump over for a moment, then reactivate.) DOCTOR: Listen to me, just land her anywhere. Emergency landing, now. There are cracks in time. I've seen them everywhere, and they're getting wider. The Tardis exploding is what causes them, but we can stop the cracks ever happening if you just land her. [Tardis] RIVER: It's not safe. [Pandorica chamber] (The Pandorica starts to open. A brilliant white light floods out.) DOCTOR: Well, now. Ready to come out, are we? [Stonehenge] RORY: Argh! No! No, please. No! I'm not going. I'm Rory! [Tardis] RIVER: Doctor? [Pandorica chamber] RIVER [OC]: I'm down. [Tardis] RIVER: I've landed. DOCTOR [OC]: Okay, just walk out of the doors. If there's no one inside, the Tardis engines shut down automatically. [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: Just get out of there. RIVER [OC]: I'm going. DOCTOR: Run! (The Roman's fingers drop away from their hands to reveal weapons. They are Autons.) RIVER [OC]: Doctor! Doctor, I can't open the doors! (The Doctor sees the Autons.) DOCTOR: Amy! [Stonehenge] RORY: Listen to me. You have to run. You have to get as far away from here as you can. I'm a thing! I'll kill you. Just go! Please, no, I don't want to go. I'm Rory! I'm, I'm AMY: Williams. Rory Williams from Leadworth. My boyfriend. How could I ever forget you? RORY: Amy, you've got to run. I can't hold on. I'm going. AMY: You are Rory Williams and you aren't going anywhere ever again. [Tardis] RIVER: Doctor, I can't open the doors! Doctor, please, I've got seconds! [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: Plastic Romans. Duplicates, driven by the Nestene Consciousness, eh? Deep cover, but what for? What are you doing? What's in there, eh? What's coming out? (River hooks the Tardis engines to the main door handles.) MARCELLUS: The Pandorica is ready. DOCTOR: What, do you mean it's open? (The White allegedly Supreme new style Dalek trundles forward.) WHITE: You have been scanned, assessed, understood, Doctor. (Red and Yellow beam in behind it.) [Stonehenge] AMY: The ring. Remember the ring? You'd never let me wear it in case I lost it. RORY: The Doctor gave it to me. AMY: Show it to me. Show me the ring. RORY: Amy. AMY: Come on. Just show it to me. (Rory obeys.) [Pandorica chamber] DOCTOR: Scanned? Scanned by what, a box? WHITE: Your limits and capacities have been extrapolated. (Cybermen, Judoon and Sontarans beam down.) STARK: The Pandorica is ready. DOCTOR: Ready for what? WHITE: Ready for you. (The Doctor struggles against the grip of two Romans.) [Stonehenge] AMY: There it is. You remember. This is you, and you are staying. (Rory's gun hand activates.) RORY: No. (He shoots Amy.) RORY: No! No! No! [Pandorica chamber] (River tries frantically to escape the Tardis as the Doctor is dragged closer and closer to the Pandorica, then fastened into the seat inside it. His arms, torso and head are clamped in place and all his old enemies stare at him.) DOCTOR: You lot, working together. An alliance. How is that possible? WHITE: The cracks in the skin of the universe. STARK: All reality is threatened. CYBERLEADER: All universes will be deleted. DOCTOR: What? And you've come to me for help? STARK: No. We will save the universe from you! DOCTOR: From me? CYBERLEADER: All projections correlate. All evidence concurs. The Doctor will destroy the universe. DOCTOR: No, no, no. You've got it wrong. CYBERLEADER: The Pandorica was constructed to ensure the safety of the Alliance. WHITE: A scenario was devised from the memories of your companion. STARK: A trap the Doctor could not resist. WHITE: The cracks in time are the work of the Doctor. It is confirmed. DOCTOR: No. no, no, not me, the Tardis. And I'm not in the Tardis, am I? WHITE: Only the Doctor can pilot the Tardis. DOCTOR: Please, listen to me! WHITE: You will be prevented. DOCTOR: Total event collapse! Every sun will supernova at every moment in history. The whole universe will never have existed. Please, listen to me! CYBERLEADER: Seal the Pandorica. DOCTOR: No! Please, listen to me! The Tardis is exploding right now and I'm the only one who can stop it! Listen to me! (The Pandorica closes.) [Tardis] (River opens the Tardis doors to discover she is parked right up against a rock wall.) RIVER: I'm sorry, my love. (The Tardis explodes. As Rory weeps over Amy's body, every star in the universe goes KaBOOM.) [Amy's bedroom] (1,894 years later... and one star at least is still burning brightly. Night. The red pinwheel turns in the breeze in the garden. Upstairs, a little red haired girl is saying her prayers.) AMELIA: Dear Santa. Thank you for the dolls and pencils and the fish. It's Easter now, so I hope I don't wake you, but, honest, it is an emergency. There's a crack in my wall. Aunt Sharon says it's just an ordinary crack, but I know it's not, because at night there's voices. So, please, please, could you send someone to fix it, or a policeman, or (A strange wind whistles outside.) AMELIA: Back in a moment. (She runs to the window, but there is nothing there. The moon hangs in a starless sky.) [Living room] (The nice lady psychiatrist is looking at a painting of the moon and stars.) CHRISTINE: It's a lovely painting, Amelia. And what are all these? AMELIA: Stars. SHARON: Oh, Amelia. CHRISTINE: Tell you what, shall we go outside? [Outside the house] CHRISTINE: What do you see, Amelia? AMELIA: The moon. CHRISTINE: And what else? AMELIA: Just the dark. CHRISTINE: But no stars. If there were stars up there, we'd be able to see them, wouldn't we? Amelia, look at me. You know this is all just a story, don't you? You know there's no such thing as stars. [Amy's bedroom] (Amy listens to the adult voices downstairs.) CHRISTINE [OC]: But there's bound to be a bit of her that feels alone. Amelia's a really good person. [Staircase] CHRISTINE [OC]: It's quite common, actually. Throughout history, people have talked about seeing stars in the sky. God knows where it comes from. SHARON [OC]: I just don't want her growing up and joining one of those Star Cults. I don't trust that Richard Dawkins. (Christine and Sharon walk across the hallway from the kitchen to the living room. Someone in a red fez puts a leaflet through the door. Amelia runs down to get it. It is titled The Anomaly, and features the Pandorica at the National Museum. Someone has written on it in red ink - Come along, Pond.) [National Museum] AMELIA: Come on, Aunt Sharon. SHARON: Oh, look at that. That's good, isn't it? AMELIA: Not that. This way. "SHARON; But we're not looking at anything." AMELIA: This way! SHARON: Amelia! [Anomaly Exhibition] (Amelia stops to look at the exhibit of petrified Daleks, then pushes through the people standing looking at the Pandorica. Someone snatches her Original Cola drink from her. Suddenly there is a post-it note on the Pandorica, saying Stick around, Pond.) SHARON [OC]: Amelia! (Amelia runs to hide.) SHARON: Amelia? Amelia? (Closing time.) "SHARON; Amelia!" TANNOY: Amelia Pond, please go to the reception, please. Your aunt is waiting for you there. Amelia Pond, please go to reception. (Later still, Amelia creeps out from the Penguin display, knocking some over.) AMELIA: Sorry. (She returns to the Pandorica and removes the post-it note. He puts her hand on the Pandorica and starts to open. Amelia backs away. The person inside speaks to her.) AMY: Okay, kid. This is where it gets complicated. [Stonehenge] (1,894 years previously... Rory has the body of Amy lying across his lap, Pieta-style.) RORY: So the universe ended. You missed that, in 102 AD. I suppose this means you and I never get born at all. Twice, in my case. You would have laughed at that. Please laugh. The Doctor said the universe was huge and ridiculous, and sometimes there were miracles. I could do with a ridiculous miracle about now. (The Doctor pops in from thin air, wearing a red fez and carrying a mop.) DOCTOR: Rory! Listen, she's not dead. Well, she is dead, but it's not the end of the world. Well, it is the end of the world. Actually, it's the end of the universe. Oh, no. Hang on. (The Doctor vanishes again.) RORY: Doctor? Doctor! (He reappears, without the mop.) DOCTOR: You need to get me out of the Pandorica. RORY: But you're not in the Pandorica. DOCTOR: Yes, I am. Well, I'm not now, but I was back then. Well, back now from your point of view, which is back then from my point of view. Time travel, you can't keep it straight in your head. It's easy to open from the outside. Just point and press. (The Doctor gives Rory his sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Now go. (The Doctor vanishes and returns.) DOCTOR: Oh, and when you're done, leave my screwdriver in her top pocket. Good luck. (And vanishes again.) RORY: What do you mean? Done what? [Pandorica chamber] (Rory opens the Pandorica with the sonic screwdriver. The Doctor is released from the chair.) DOCTOR: How did you do that? RORY: You gave me this. (The Doctor takes his screwdriver from his own pocket.) DOCTOR: No, I didn't. RORY: You did. Look at it. (The Doctor touches his screwdriver to Rory's. They spark.) DOCTOR: Temporal energy. Same screwdriver at different points in its own time stream. Which means it was me who gave it to you. Me from the future. I've got a future. That's nice. That's not. (The Daleks are fossilised.) RORY: Yeah. What are they? (Everyone who was in the chamber when the universe ended has been fossilised.) DOCTOR: History has collapsed. Whole races have been deleted from existence. These are just like after-images. Echoes. Fossils in time. The footprints of the never-were. RORY: Er, what does that mean? DOCTOR: Total event collapse. The universe literally never happened. RORY: So, how can we be here? What's keeping us safe? DOCTOR: Nothing. Eye of the storm, that's all. We're just the last light to go out. Amy. Where's Amy? [Stonehenge] RORY: I killed her. DOCTOR: Oh, Rory. RORY: Doctor, what am I? DOCTOR: You're a Nestene duplicate. A lump of plastic with delusions of humanity. RORY: But I'm Rory now. Whatever was happening, it's stopped. I'm Rory. DOCTOR: That's software talking. RORY: Can you help her? Is there anything you can do? DOCTOR: Yeah, probably, if I had the time. RORY: The time? DOCTOR: All of creation has just been wiped from the sky. Do you know how many lives now never happened? All the people who never lived? Your girlfriend isn't more important than the whole universe. (Rory punches the Doctor.) RORY: She is to me! DOCTOR: Welcome back, Rory Williams! Sorry. Had to be sure. Hell of a gun-arm you're packing there. Right, we need to get her downstairs. And take that look off your plastic face. You're getting married in the morning. [Pandorica chamber] (The Doctor places Amy in the Pandorica.) RORY: So you've got a plan, then? DOCTOR: Bit of a plan, yeah. Memories are more powerful than you think, and Amy Pond is not an ordinary girl. Grew up with a time crack in her wall. The universe pouring through her dreams every night. The Nestenes took a memory print of her and got a bit more than they bargained for, like you. Not just your face, but your heart and your soul. (The Doctor mind-melds with Amy.) DOCTOR: I'm leaving her a message for when she wakes up, so she knows what's happening. (The Doctor seals Amy inside the Pandorica.) RORY: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? DOCTOR: I'm saving her. This box is the ultimate prison. You can't even escape by dying. It forces you to stay alive. RORY: But she's already dead. DOCTOR: Well, she's mostly dead. The Pandorica can stasis-lock her that way. Now, all it needs is a scan of her living DNA and it'll restore her. RORY: Where's it going to get that? DOCTOR: In about two thousand years. [Anomaly Exhibition] (Amy falls out of the Pandorica, gasping.) AMELIA: Are you all right? Who are you? AMY: I'm fine. I'm supposed to rest. Got to rest, the Doctor says. AMELIA: What doctor? (Amy taps her head.) DOCTOR: He's in here. Left a message in my head like I'm an answerphone. Where am I? Hang on. National Museum, right? I was here once when I was a little (And the penny drops.) AMY: Yeah, complicated. Let's see, it's what, 1996? AMELIA: Who are you? AMY: It's a long story. Oh. A very long story. (The Pandorica Seen Through Time is on a display board. 118AD taken back to Rome under armed guard. 420AD Raided by the Franks. 1120AD Prized possession of the Knights Templar. 1231 Donated to the Vatican.) [Pandorica chamber] (The Doctor takes River's vortex manipulator from her bag and straps it to his wrist.) RORY: She's going to be in that box for two thousand years? DOCTOR: Yeah, but we're taking a shortcut. River's vortex manipulator. Rubbish way to time travel, but the universe is tiny now. We'll be fine. RORY: So hang on. The future's still there, then. Our world. DOCTOR: A version of it. Not quite the one you know. Earth alone in the sky. Let's go and have a look. You put your hand there. Don't worry. Should be safe. RORY: That's not what I'm worried about. DOCTOR: She'll be fine. Nothing can get into this box. RORY: Well, you got in there. DOCTOR: Well, there's only one of me. I counted. RORY: This box needs a guard. I killed the last one. DOCTOR: No. Rory, no. Don't even think about it. RORY: She'll be all alone. DOCTOR: She won't feel it. RORY: You bet she won't. DOCTOR: Two thousand years, Rory. You won't even sleep. you'd be conscious every second. It would drive you mad. RORY: Will she be safer if I stay? Look me in the eye and tell me she wouldn't be safer. DOCTOR: Rory, you RORY: Answer me! DOCTOR: Yes. Obviously. RORY: Then how could I leave her? DOCTOR: Why do you have to be so human? RORY: Because right now, I'm not. DOCTOR: Listen to me. This is the last bit of advice you're going to get in a very long time. You're living plastic, but you're not immortal. I have no idea how long you'll last. And you're not indestructible. Stay away from heat and radio signals when they come along. You can't heal, or repair yourself. Any damage is permanent. So, for God's sake, however bored you get, stay out of (The Doctor vanishes. Rory puts on his helmet, draws his sword and settles down to the longest stint of guard duty in history.) NARRATOR [OC]: According to legend, wherever the Pandorica was taken, throughout its long history, the Centurion would be there, guarding it. [Anomaly Exhibition] (An audio visual presentation of the history of the Pandorica on a nearby screen.) NARRATOR [OC]: He appears as an iconic image in the artwork of many cultures, and there are several documented accounts of his appearances, and his warnings to the many who attempted to open the box before its time. His last recorded appearance was during the London blitz in 1941. The warehouse where the Pandorica was stored was destroyed by incendiary bombs, but the box itself was found the next morning, a safe distance from the blaze. There are eyewitness accounts from the night of the fire of a figure in Roman dress, carrying the box from the flames. Since then, there have been no sightings of the Lone Centurion, and many have speculated that if he ever existed, he perished in the fires of that night, performing one last act of devotion to the box he had pledged to protect for nearly two thousand years. AMY: Rory. Oh, Rory. DALEK: Exterminate! AMELIA: What's that? DALEK: Exterminate! (The Doctor appears.) DOCTOR: Trouble. Oh. Ah, two of you. Complicated. DALEK: Exterminate! Weapons systems restoring. DOCTOR: Come along, Ponds. DALEK: Exterminate! (They run to a Middle Eastern montage where the Doctor takes the fez from a dummy.) AMY: What are we doing? DOCTOR: Well, we are running into a dead end, where I'll have a brilliant plan, that basically involves not being in one. MAN: What's going on? DOCTOR: Get out of here. Go! Just run! DALEK: Drop the device! (The man only has a torch.) DOCTOR: It's not a weapon. Scan it. It's not a weapon, and you don't have the power to waste. DALEK: Scans indicate intruder unarmed. (The man drops the torch. It is Rory in a museum guard uniform.) RORY: Do you think? (He shoots it with his Auton hand weapon.) DALEK: Vision impaired! Vision (The Dalek stops.) RORY: Amy! AMY: Rory. (Joyful reunion.) RORY: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. It just happened. AMY: Oh, Shut up. (Amy kisses Rory.) DOCTOR: Yeah, shut up, because we've got to go. Come on. RORY: I waited. Two thousand years I waited for you. AMY: No, still shut up. DOCTOR: And break. And breathe. Well, somebody didn't get out much for two thousand years. AMELIA: I'm thirsty. Can I get a drink? DOCTOR: Oh, it's all mouths today, isn't it. The light. The light from the Pandorica, it must have hit the Dalek. (The Dalek's weapon starts to move.) DOCTOR: Out! Out! Out! [Museum Reception] DOCTOR: So, two thousand years. How did you do? RORY: Kept out of trouble. DOCTOR: Oh. How? RORY: Unsuccessfully. The mop! That's how you looked all those years ago when you gave me the sonic. DOCTOR: Ah. Well, no time to lose, then. [Stonehenge] DOCTOR: Rory! Listen, she's not dead. Well, she is dead, but it's not the end of the world. [Museum Reception] (The Doctor returns and puts the mop through the door handles to the Anomaly exhibition.) DOCTOR: Oops, sorry. AMELIA: How can he do that? Is he magic? [Stonehenge] DOCTOR: You need to get me out of the Pandorica. RORY: But you're not in the Pandorica. DOCTOR: Yes, I am. Well, I'm not now, but I was back then. [Museum Reception] DOCTOR: Right, let's go then. Wait! Now I don't have the sonic. I just gave it Rory two thousand years ago. [Stonehenge] DOCTOR: And when you're done, leave my screwdriver in her top pocket. [Museum Reception] DOCTOR: Right then. (The Doctor retrieves his screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Off we go! No, hang on. How did you know to come here? (Amelia shows him the leaflet and the post-it note.) DOCTOR: Ah, my handwriting. Okay. (He grabs a new leaflet and post-it note from the information desk and vanishes. He returns with the drink he took from Amelia earlier.) DOCTOR: There you go. Drink up. AMY: What is that? How are you doing that? DOCTOR: Vortex manipulator. Cheap and nasty time travel. Very bad for you. I'm trying to give it up. AMY: Where are we going? DOCTOR: The roof. (A second Doctor appears further up the stairs, sans fez, and falls down them. His clothes are smoking.) RORY: Doctor, it's you. How can it be you? AMY: Doctor, is that you? DOCTOR: Yeah, it's me. Me from the future. (Future Doctor suddenly wakes up and whispers in the Doctor's ear, then falls back again.) AMY: Are you? I mean, is he, is he dead? DOCTOR: What? Dead? Yes, yes. Of course he's dead. Right, I've got twelve minutes. That's good. AMY: Twelve minutes to live? How is that good? DOCTOR: Oh, you can do loads in twelve minutes. Suck a mint, buy a sledge, have a fast bath. Come on, the roof. RORY: We can't leave you here dead. DOCTOR: Oh, good. Are you in charge now? So tell me, what are we going to do about Amelia? AMY: Where did she go? RORY: Amelia? DOCTOR: There is no Amelia. From now on, there never was. History is still collapsing. AMY: But how can I still be here if she's not? DOCTOR: You're an anomaly. We all are. We're all just hanging on at the eye of the storm. But the eye is closing, and if we don't do something fast, reality will never have happened. Today, just dying is a result. Now, come on! AMY: He won't die. Time can be rewritten. He'll find a way. I know he will. (Rory covers the dead Doctor with his jacket.) DOCTOR [OC]: Move it! Come on! DALEK: Restore. Restore! [Roof] "AMY; What, it's morning already? How did that happen?" DOCTOR: History is shrinking. Is anybody listening to me? The universe is collapsing. We don't have much time left. (The Doctor sonicks a satellite receiver dish off its pole.) RORY: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Looking for the Tardis. RORY: But the Tardis exploded. DOCTOR: Okay then, I'm looking for an exploding Tardis. AMY: I don't understand. So, the Tardis blew up and took the universe with it. But why would it do that? How? DOCTOR: Good question for another day. The question for now is, total event collapse means that every star in the universe never happened. Not one single one of them ever shone. So, if all the stars that ever were are gone, then what is that? (A large burning ball in the sky.) DOCTOR: Like I said, I'm looking for an exploding Tardis. RORY: But that's the sun. DOCTOR: Is it? Well, here's the noise that sun is making right now. (The Tardis noise.) DOCTOR: That's my Tardis burning up. That's what's been keeping the Earth warm. RORY: Doctor, there's something else. RIVER [OC]: I'm sorry, my love. RORY: There's a voice. AMY: I can't hear anything. RORY: Trust the plastic. RIVER [OC]: I'm sorry, my love. I'm sorry, my love. I'm sorry, my love. AMY: Doctor, that's River. How can she be up there? RORY: It must be like a recording or something. DOCTOR: No, it's not. Of course, the emergency protocols. The Tardis has sealed off the control room and put her into a time loop to save her. She is right at the heart of the explosion. RIVER [OC]: I'm sorry, my love. I'm sorry, my love. I'm sorry, my love. [Tardis] (River is forever running to the doors, opening them and seeing the rock wall.) RIVER: I'm sorry, my love. (Scene repeats, then the Doctor is standing there.) DOCTOR: Hi, honey. I'm home. RIVER: And what sort of time do you call this? [Rooftop] RIVER: Amy! And the plastic Centurion? DOCTOR: It's okay, he's on our side. RIVER: Really? DOCTOR: Yeah. RIVER: I dated a Nestene duplicate once. Swappable head. It did keep things fresh. Right then, I have questions, but number one is this. What in the name of sanity have you got on your head? DOCTOR: It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. (Amy snatches the fez and throws it into the air, where River shoots it into pieces.) DOCTOR: Oh! (Then the Dalek rises up above the parapet.) DALEK: Exterminate! DOCTOR: Run, run! Move, move. Go! RORY: Come on! (The Doctor uses the satellite dish as a shield and they get back into the museum.) [Roof access] RIVER: Doctor, come on. DOCTOR: Shush. It's moving away, finding another way in. It needs to restore its power before it can attack again. Now, that means we've got exactly four and a half minutes before it's at lethal capacity. RORY: How do you know? DOCTOR: Because that's when it's due to kill me. RIVER: Kill you? What do you mean, kill you? DOCTOR: Oh, shut up. Never mind. How can that Dalek even exist? It was erased from time and then it came back. [Upper corridor] DOCTOR: How? RORY: You said the light from the Pandorica DOCTOR: It's not a light, it's a restoration field. But never mind, call it a light. That light brought Amy back, restored her, but how could it bring back a Dalek when the Daleks have never existed? AMY: Okay, tell us. DOCTOR: When the Tardis blew up, it caused a total event collapse. A time explosion. And that explosion blasted every atom in every moment of the universe. Except AMY: Except inside the Pandorica. DOCTOR: The perfect prison. And inside it, perfectly preserved, a few billion atoms of the universe as it was. In theory, you could extrapolate the whole universe from a single one of them, like, like cloning a body from a single cell. And we've got the bumper family pack. RORY: No, no. Too fast. I'm not getting it. DOCTOR: The box contains a memory of the universe, and the light transmits the memory, and that's how we're going to do it. AMY: Do what? DOCTOR: Relight the fire. Reboot the universe. Come on! RIVER: Doctor, you're being completely ridiculous. The Pandorica partially restored one Dalek. If it can't even reboot a single life form properly, how's it reboot the whole of reality? DOCTOR: What if we give it a moment of infinite power? What if we can transmit the light from the Pandorica to every particle of space and time simultaneously? RIVER: Well, that would be lovely, dear, but we can't, because it's completely impossible. DOCTOR: Ah no, you see, it's not. It's almost completely impossible. One spark is all we need. RIVER: For what? DOCTOR: Big Bang Two! Now listen. (The Dalek shoots the Doctor.) DALEK: Exterminate! Exterminate! RORY: Get back. River, get back now! DALEK: Exterminate! (Rory shoots at the Dalek and it powers down again.) RIVER: Doctor? Doctor, it's me, River. Can you hear me? What is it? What do you need? (The Doctor activates the vortex manipulator and vanishes.) RIVER: Where did he go? Damn it, he could be anywhere. AMY: He went downstairs, twelve minutes ago. RIVER: Show me! AMY: River, he died. DALEK: Systems restoring. You will be exterminated. RORY: We've got to move. That thing's coming back to life. RIVER: You go to the Doctor. I'll be right with you. (Amy and Rory leave.) DALEK: You will be exterminated! RIVER: Not yet. Your systems are still restoring, which means your shield density is compromised. One Alpha Mezon burst through your eyestalk would kill you stone dead. DALEK: Records indicate you will show mercy. You are an associate of the Doctor's. RIVER: I'm River Song. Check your records again. DALEK: Mercy. RIVER: Say it again. DALEK: Mercy! RIVER: One more time. DALEK: Mercy! [Museum Reception] (The Doctor's body is not there, although Rory's jacket is.) RORY: How could he have moved? He was dead. Doctor? Doctor! AMY: But he was dead. RIVER: Who told you that? AMY: He did. RIVER: Rule one. The Doctor lies. AMY: Where's the Dalek? RIVER: It died. [Anomaly Exhibition] (The Doctor is in the Pandorica.) AMY: Doctor! RORY: Why did he tell us he was dead? AMY: We were a diversion. As long as the Dalek was chasing us, he could work down here. RIVER: Doctor, can you hear me? What were you doing? (The light from the Tardis is getting brighter.) RORY: What's happening? RIVER: Reality's collapsing. It's speeding up. Look at this room. AMY: Where'd everything go? RIVER: History's being erased. Time's running out. Doctor, what were you doing? Tell us. Doctor! DOCTOR: (sotto) Big Bang Two. RORY: The Big Bang. That's the beginning of the universe, right? AMY: What, and Big Bang Two is the bang that brings us back? Is that what you mean? RIVER: Oh. AMY: What? RIVER: The Tardis is still burning. It's exploding at every point in history. If you threw the Pandorica into the explosion, right into the heart of the fire. AMY: Then what? RIVER: Then let there be light. The light from the Pandorica would explode everywhere at once, just like he said. AMY: That would work? That would bring everything back? RIVER: A restoration field powered by an exploding Tardis, happening at every moment in history. Oh, that's brilliant. It might even work. He's wired the vortex manipulator to the rest of the box. AMY: Why? RIVER: So he can take it with him. He's going to fly the Pandorica into the heart of the explosion. (A short time later.) RORY: Are you okay? AMY: Are you? RORY: No. AMY: Well, shut up then! RIVER: Amy, he wants to talk to you. AMY: So, what happens here? Big Bang Two? What happens to us? RIVER: We all wake up where we ought to be. None of this ever happens and we don't remember it. AMY: River, tell me he comes back, too. RIVER: The Doctor will be the heart of the explosion. AMY: So? RIVER: So all the cracks in time will close, but he'll be on the wrong side, trapped in the never-space, the void between the worlds. All memory of him will be purged from the universe. He will never have been born. Now, please. He wants to talk to you before he goes. AMY: Not to you? RIVER: He doesn't really know me yet. Now he never will. (Amy goes to the Pandorica. The Doctor is very weak.) AMY: Hi. DOCTOR: Amy Pond. The girl who waited all night in your garden. Was it worth it? AMY: Shut up. Of course it was. DOCTOR: You asked me why I was taking you with me and I said, no reason. I was lying. AMY: It's not important. DOCTOR: Yeah, it's the most important thing left in the universe. It's why I'm doing this. Amy, your house was too big. That big, empty house, and just you. AMY: And Aunt Sharon. DOCTOR: Where were your mum and dad? Where was everybody who lived in that big house? AMY: I lost my Mum and Dad. DOCTOR: How? What happened to them? Where did they go? AMY: I, I don't DOCTOR: It's okay, it's okay. Don't panic, it's not your fault. AMY: I don't even remember. DOCTOR: There was a crack in time in the wall of your bedroom, and it's been eating away at your life for a long time now. Amy Pond, all alone. The girl who didn't make sense. How could I resist? AMY: How could I just forget? DOCTOR: Nothing is ever forgotten. Not really. But you have to try. RIVER: Doctor! It's speeding up! (Amy puts the Doctor's sonic screwdriver in his pocket.) DOCTOR: There's going to be a very big bang. Big Bang Two. Try and remember your family and they'll be there. AMY: How can I remember them if they never existed? DOCTOR: Because you're special. That crack in your wall, all that time, the universe pouring into your head. You brought Rory back. You can bring them back, too. You just remember and they'll be there. AMY: You won't. DOCTOR: You'll have your family back. You won't need your imaginary friend any more. Ha! Amy Pond crying over me, eh? Guess what? AMY: What? DOCTOR: Gotcha. (The Pandorica closes.) RIVER: Back! Get back! (The Pandorica takes off. River gets a text message.) RIVER: It's from the Doctor. AMY: What does it say? RIVER: Geronimo. (The Pandorica reaches the Tardis. There is another explosion then everything reverses back to the start of the previous episode.) [Tardis] (The Doctor sits up on the floor of the Tardis.) DOCTOR: Oh! Okay. I escaped, then. Brilliant. I love it when I do that. Legs, yes. Bow tie, cool. I can buy a fez. DOCTOR [OC]: Lyle beach. The beach is the best. Automatic sand. AMY [OC]: Automatic sand? What does that mean? DOCTOR [OC]: It's automated. Totally. DOCTOR: Oh. DOCTOR 2: Cleans up the lolly sticks all by itself. DOCTOR: No, hang on. That's last week when we went to Space Florida. I'm rewinding. My, my time stream unravelling, erasing. Closing. (The crack in the scanner slowly closes and disappears.) DOCTOR: Hello, universe. Goodbye, Doctor. Amy. Amy. (And back through The Lodger.) [Aickman Street] DOCTOR: Ah, three weeks ago, when she put the card in the window. Amy! I need to tell you something. She can hear me. But if she can hear me (There is a crack in the road. And back to ) [Maze of the Dead] DOCTOR 2: Good luck, everyone. Behave. Do not let that girl open her eyes. Amy, later. River, going to need your computer. DOCTOR: Amy, you need to start trusting me. It's never been more important. AMY: But you don't always tell me the truth. DOCTOR: If I always told you the truth, I wouldn't need you to trust me. AMY: Doctor, the crack in my wall. How can it be here? DOCTOR: I don't know yet but I'm working it out. Now, listen. Remember what I told you when you were seven? AMY: What did you tell me? DOCTOR: No. No, that's not the point. You have to remember. AMY: Remember what? Doctor? Doctor? [Amy's home] (And back to the start of the season.) DOCTOR: Amelia's house. When she was seven. The night she waited. [Outside Amy's home] (Little Amelia has fallen asleep outside, lying on her suitcase.) DOCTOR: The girl who waited. Come here, you. [Amy's bedroom] (He puts her to bed.) DOCTOR: It's funny. I thought if you could hear me, I could hang on somehow. Silly me. Silly old Doctor. When you wake up, you'll have a mum and dad, and you won't even remember me. Well, you'll remember me a little. I'll be a story in your head. But that's okay. We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? Because it was, you know. It was the best. The daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well, I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back. Oh, that box. Amy, you'll dream about that box. It'll never leave you. Big and little at the same time. Brand new and ancient, and the bluest blue ever. And the times we had, eh? Would have had. Never had. In your dreams, they'll still be there. The Doctor and Amy Pond, and the days that never came. The cracks are closing. But they can't close properly until I'm on the other side. I don't belong here any more. I think I'll skip the rest of the rewind. I hate repeats. Live well. Love Rory. Bye bye, Pond. (The Doctor goes through the crack in the wall. It closes. Amelia wakes up, looks around and goes back to sleep while the stars twinkle in the sky. Grown up Amy is woken by the bright sunlight. She still has her Doctor doll on the chest of drawers and her wedding dress hanging on the open wardrobe door. A woman enters with a tray.) TABETHA: Morning! AMY: You're my mum. Oh, my God. You're my mum. TABETHA: Well, of course I'm your mum. What's the matter with you? And this is your breakfast, which your father made, so feel free to tip it out of the window if it's an atrocity. Downstairs, ten minutes? Big day! (Tabetha leaves.) AMY: Of course she's my mum. Why is that surprising? [Living room] AUGUSTUS: Ah, Amelia. I fear I may have been using the same joke book as the best man. AMY: You're my tiny little dad! TABETHA: Amelia, why are you behaving as if you've never seen us before? AMY: I don't know. It's just. [Rory's home] (Rory is cleaning his teeth and talking on the phone at the same time.) RORY: Hello! AMY [OC]: Do you feel like you've forgotten something really important? [Amy's bedroom] AMY: Do you feel like there's a great big thing in your head, and you feel like you should remember it, but you can't? [Rory's home] RORY: Yep. [Amy's bedroom] AMY: Are you just saying yes because you're scared of me? RORY [OC]: Yep. AMY: I love you. RORY [OC]: Yep. [Rory's home] RORY: Er, I mean, I love you too! [Wedding reception] MASTER OF CEREMONIES: Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, the father of the bride, Augustus Pond! AUGUSTUS: Sorry, everyone. I'll be another two minutes. I'm just reviewing certain aspects. TABETHA: Your father, Amelia, will be the absolute death of me. Unless, of course, I strike pre-emptively. (Amy sees River walking past the windows. She stands up.) RORY: Amy? You okay? AMY: Yeah, I'm fine. RORY: Right. Er, you're crying. AMY: So I am. Why am I doing that? RORY: Because you're happy, probably. Happy Mrs Rory. Happy, happy, happy. AMY: No, I'm sad. I'm really, really sad. RORY: Great. AMY: Why am I sad? What's that? RORY: Oh, er, someone left it for you. A woman. AMY: But what is it? RORY: It's a book. (It's a book with a Tardis design cover.) AMY: It's blank. RORY: It's a present. AMY: But why? RORY: Well, you know the old saying. The old wedding thing. Huh? Amy, what? Hey. AUGUSTUS: Ready now. Sorry about that. Last minute adjustments to certain aspects. Now then, it hardly seems a year since (Amy sees one of the guests wearing a bow tie, and another with braces. A tear falls onto the book.) AUGUSTUS: At the age of six and announced that the new head teacher wasn't real because she looked like a cartoon. AMY: Shut up, Dad! RORY: Amy? AUGUSTUS: Amelia? AMY: Sorry, but shut up, please. There's someone missing. Someone important. Someone so, so important. RORY: Amy, what's wrong? AMY: Sorry. Sorry, everyone. But when I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend. TABETHA: Oh no, not this again. AMY: The raggedy Doctor. My raggedy Doctor. But he wasn't imaginary, he was real. TABETHA: The psychiatrists we sent her to. AMY: I remember you. I remember! I brought the others back, I can bring you home, too. Raggedy man, I remember you, and you are late for my wedding! (The glasses start rattling, very gently.) AMY: I found you. I found you in words, like you knew I would. That's why you told me the story the brand new, ancient blue box. (A strong wind blows the balloons around.) AMY: Oh, clever. Very clever. RORY: Amy, what is it? AMY: Something old. Something new. Something borrowed. Something blue. (The Tardis materialises in the middle of the room.) RORY: It's the Doctor. How did we forget the Doctor? I was plastic. He was the stripper at my stag. Long story. (Amy knocks on the Tardis door.) AMY: Okay, Doctor. Did I surprise you this time? (The Doctor appears in top hat and tails.) DOCTOR: Er, yeah. Completely astonished. Never expected that. How lucky I happened to be wearing this old thing. Hello, everyone. I'm Amy's imaginary friend. But I came anyway. AMY: You absolutely, definitely may kiss the bride. DOCTOR: Amelia, from now on I shall be leaving the kissing duties to the brand new Mister Pond. RORY: No, I'm not Mister Pond. That's not how it works. DOCTOR: Yeah, it is. RORY: Yeah, it is. DOCTOR: Right then, everyone. I'll move my box. You're going to need the space. I only came for the dancing. (Later, in the disco phase of the party, the Doctor is moving to the rhythm of Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen.) AMY: You're terrible. That is embarrassing! DOCTOR: That's it. That's good. Keep it loose. "(The little children love him. And later, when the tempo is slowed for the smooch tunes like You Give Me Something"" by James Morrison, the Doctor watches Amy and Rory.)" DOCTOR: Two thousand years. The boy who waited. Good on you, mate. [Outside Amy's house] (Which is where he parked the Tardis.) RIVER: Did you dance? Well, you always dance at weddings, don't you? DOCTOR: You tell me. RIVER: Spoilers. (The Doctor returns the book and vortex manipulator to River.) DOCTOR: The writing's all back, but I didn't peek. RIVER: Thank you. DOCTOR: Are you married, River? RIVER: Are you asking? DOCTOR: Yes. RIVER: Yes. DOCTOR: No, hang on. Did you think I was asking you to marry me, or or or asking if you were married? RIVER: Yes. DOCTOR: No, but was that yes, or yes? RIVER: Yes. DOCTOR: River, who are you? RIVER: You're going to find out very soon now. And I'm sorry, but that's when everything changes. (River vanishes.) DOCTOR: Nah. [Tardis] AMY: Oi! Where are you off to? We haven't even had a snog in the shrubbery yet. RORY: Amy! AMY: Shut up. It's my wedding. "RORY; Our wedding." DOCTOR: Sorry, you two. Shouldn't have slipped away. Bit busy, you know? "RORY; You just saved the whole of space and time? Take the evening off. Maybe a bit of tomorrow." DOCTOR: Space and time isn't safe yet. The Tardis exploded for a reason. Something drew the Tardis to this particular date, and blew it up. Why? And why now? (The phone starts ringing.) DOCTOR: The Silence, whatever it is, is still out there, and I have to. Excuse me a moment. (He answers the telephone.) DOCTOR: Hello? Oh, hello. I'm sorry, this is a very bad line. No, no, no, but that's not possible. She was sealed into the seventh Obelisk. I was at the prayer meeting. Well, no, I get that it's important. An Egyptian goddess loose on the Orient Express, in space. Give us a mo. (to Amy and Rory) Sorry, something's come up. This will have to be goodbye. AMY: Yeah, I think it's goodbye. Do you think it's goodbye? RORY: Definitely goodbye. (Amy goes to the door and shouts to Leadworth.) AMY: Goodbye! Goodbye. DOCTOR: Don't worry about a thing, your Majesty. We're on our way. [Online Prequel - The White House] (A telephone is ringing in the Oval Office, and a man has run to answer it.) NIXON: Hello? Hello, this is the President. (crackles) Hello, this is the President of the United States. Who is this? Is it you again? CHILD [OC]: Look behind you. NIXON: How did you get this number? This is my private line. How did you get through? CHILD [OC]: They're everwhere, all the time. We see them every day, but you have to look behind you. (Nixon's infamous tape recorder catches all this.) NIXON: There is nothing behind me. How did you get this number? CHILD [OC]: The spaceman told me. NIXON: What spaceman? CHILD [OC]: It doesn't matter. I'm telling you about monsters. Please, you must look behind you. NIXON: Young lady, there are no monsters in the Oval Office. (Telephone call ends. The President leans back in his chair to reveal a Silent standing there.) In memory of Elisabeth Sladen 1946 - 2011 the caption on the TV said 1948 but that was wrong. [Palace] (The restored Monarch and his guards charge through the building.) CHARLES: Out of my way! (His way is blocked by a locked door. Inside the room, a large unfinished painting shows the naked Doctor as Neptune about to be crowned by a cherub.) CHARLES [OC]: Doctor! Doctor! Doctor! Doctor! (The irate king bursts in, sword drawn, and confronts the lady artist, who is possibly one of his many illegitimate children.) CHARLES: Where's the Doctor? MATILDA: Doctor who? DOCTOR [OC]: Achoo! (The Doctor is hiding underneath Matilda's voluminous skirts.) DOCTOR: You know, this isn't nearly as bad as it looks. [Kitchen] (Amy is reading from a history book while Rory unpacks the shopping.) AMY: At the personal intervention of the King, the unnamed Doctor was incarcerated without trial in the Tower of London. RORY: Okay, but it doesn't have to be him. AMY: According to contemporary accounts, two nights later, a magical sphere some twenty feet across, was seen floating away from the tower, bearing the mysterious Doctor aloft. RORY: Okay. It's him. AMY: There's more. [Tunnel] (A classic World War 2 escape is in progress.) SIMMONS: Doctor. Doctor, what can you see? (The Doctor's head appears from the top of the tunnel.) DOCTOR: Is the commandant's office painted a sort of green colour with a big flag on the wall? (A siren sounds and dogs start barking.) DOCTOR: I think the answer's probably yes. [Living room] AMY: It's like he's being deliberately ridiculous, trying to attract our attention. Are you watching this again? (A Laurel and Hardy film, most likely the Flying Deuces.) RORY: Yeah. I've explained the jokes. (The doorbell rings and Amy answers it. The postman hands over some letters.) RORY: So what are you saying? Do you really think he's back there, trying to wave to us, out of history books? (Completely missing the Doctor in a fez waving to the viewer before joining in Stan and Ollie's dance.) AMY: Hey, it's the sort of thing he'd do. Thanks. RORY: Yeah, but why? AMY: Well, he said he'd be in touch. RORY: Two months ago. AMY: Two months is nothing. He's up to something. I know he is. I know him. (She opens an envelope with the number 3 on the back.) RORY: What is it? Amy? AMY: A date, a time, a map reference. I think it's an invitation. RORY: From who? AMY: It's not signed. Look, Tardis blue. [Stormcage] (Prisoner River Song also gets mail.) GUARD: You'd better get down here, sir. She's doing it again. Doctor Song, sir. She's packing. Says she's going to some planet called America. [Highway] (The San Juan School District bus lets Rory and Amy off, with their backpacks.) AMY: Thanks! DRIVER [OC]: You're very welcome. AMY: This is it, yeah? The right place? RORY: Nowhere, middle of? Yeah, this it. DOCTOR: Howdy. (They turn to see the Doctor lying on the hood of a big American car.) AMY: Doctor! DOCTOR: Ha, ha! It's the Pond. AMY: Hey! (Joyous reunion.) DOCTOR: Hello, Pond. Come here. AMY: So, someone's been a busy boy then, eh? DOCTOR: Did you see me? AMY: Of course. DOCTOR: Stalker. AMY: Flirt. RORY: Husband. DOCTOR: Rory the Roman! Ooo, come here. RORY: Hey, nice hat. DOCTOR: I wear a Stetson now. Stetsons are cool. (Then someone shoots it off him.) RIVER: Hello, sweetie. [Diner] (Comparing diaries.) RIVER: Right then, where are we? Have we done Easter Island yet? DOCTOR: Er, yes! I've got Easter Island. RIVER: They worshipped you there. Have you seen the statues? DOCTOR: Jim the fish. RIVER: Oh! Jim the fish. How is he? DOCTOR: Still building his dam. RORY: Sorry, what are you two doing? AMY: They're both time travellers, so they never meet in the right order. They're syncing their diaries. So, what's happening, then? Because you've been up to something. DOCTOR: I've been running, faster than I've ever run. And I've been running my whole life. Now, it's time for me to stop. And tonight, I'm going to need you all with me. AMY: Okay. We're here. What's up? DOCTOR: A picnic. And then a trip. Somewhere different, somewhere brand new. AMY: Where? DOCTOR: Space, 1969. [Lakeside] (The picnic.) DOCTOR: Salud! ALL: Salud. RORY: So, when are going to 1969? AMY: And since when do you drink wine? DOCTOR: I'm eleven hundred and three. I must've drunk it sometime. (He takes a swig from the bottle and spits it out.) DOCTOR: Oh, why it's horrid. I thought it would taste more like the gums. AMY: Eleven hundred and three? You were nine hundred and eight the last time we saw you. DOCTOR: And you've put on a couple of pounds. I wasn't going to mention it. (A strange figure is silhouetted on the skyline.) AMY: Who's that? RORY: Hmm? Who's who? AMY: Sorry, what? RORY: What did you see? You said you saw something. AMY: No, I didn't. DOCTOR: Ah, the moon. Look at it. Of course, you lot did a lot more than look, didn't you? Big, silvery thing in the sky. You couldn't resist it. Quite right. RORY: The moon landing was in 69. Is that where we're going? DOCTOR: No. A lot more happens in 69 than anyone remembers. Human beings. I thought I'd never get done saving you. (A truck pulls up nearby and W Morgan Sheppard gets out. The Doctor waves to him.) AMY: Who's he? RIVER: Oh, my God. (A figure in a NASA spacesuit is standing up to its knees in the lake.) DOCTOR: You all need to stay back. Whatever happens now, you do not interfere. Clear? (The Doctor goes to meet the figure, who has stepped out of the water.) RORY: That's an astronaut. That's an Apollo astronaut in a lake. AMY: Yeah. DOCTOR: Hello. It's okay. I know it's you. (The astronaut raises its gold plated visor.) DOCTOR: Well then. (They watch as the Doctor says something, then bows his head.) AMY: What's he doing? (The astronaut shoots the Doctor.) AMY: Doctor! RIVER: Amy, stay back! (And again.) RIVER: The Doctor said stay back! You have to stay back! AMY: No! No! Doctor! (Regeneration energy starts to flow from the Doctor's hands.) DOCTOR: I'm sorry. (The astronaut shoots again just as the regeneration starts properly.) RIVER: No! Doctor! AMY: Doctor, please! (They run to the Doctor. River scans him with her tricorder.) AMY: River. River! River? No. (River empties her six-shooter at the retreating astronaut.) RIVER: Of course not. AMY: River, he can't be dead. This isn't possible. RIVER: Whatever that was, it killed him in the middle of his regeneration cycle. His body was already dead. He didn't make it to the next one. AMY: Maybe he's a clone or a duplicate or something. (The old man approaches, with a petrol can.) DELAWARE: I believe I can save you some time. That most certainly is the Doctor. And he is most certainly dead. He said you'd need this. RORY: Gasoline? RIVER: A Time Lord's body is a miracle. Even a dead one. There are whole empires out there who'd rip this world apart for just one cell. We can't leave him here. Or anywhere. AMY: Wake up. Come on, wake up, you stupid, bloody idiot. What do we do, Rory? RIVER: We're his friends. We do what the Doctor's friends always do. As we're told. RORY: There's a boat. If we're going to do this, let's do it properly. (So, as the sun sets, the Doctor gets a Viking funeral.) RIVER: Who are you? Why did you come? DELAWARE: The same reason as you. (He holds out his blue invitation.) DELAWARE: Doctor Song, Amy, Rory. I'm Canton Everett Delaware the third. I won't be seeing you again, but you'll be seeing me. (Delaware leaves.) RIVER: Four. RORY: Sorry, what? RIVER: The Doctor numbered the envelopes. [Diner] RIVER: You got 3, I was 2, Mister Delaware was 4. RORY: So? RIVER: So, where's 1? RORY: What, you think he invited someone else? RIVER: Well, he must have. He planned all of this, to the last detail. AMY: Will you two shut up? It doesn't matter. RIVER: He was up to something. AMY: He's dead. RIVER: Space, 1969. What did he mean? AMY: You're still talking, but it doesn't matter. RORY: Hey, it mattered to him. RIVER: So it matters to us. AMY: He's dead. RIVER: But he still needs us. I know. Amy, I know. But right now we have to focus. RORY: Look. (Another blue envelope on a table near the back.) RORY: Excuse me, who was sitting over there? BUSBOY: Some guy. RIVER: The Doctor knew he was going to his death, so he sent out messages. When you know it's the end, who do you call? RORY: Er, your friends. People you trust. RIVER: Number 1. Who did The Doctor trust the most? (The person who comes out of the restroom, that's Who.) RIVER: This is cold. Even by your standards, this is cold. DOCTOR: Or hello, as people used to say. AMY: Doctor? DOCTOR: I just popped out to get my special straw. It adds more fizz. AMY: You're okay. How can you be okay? DOCTOR: Hey, of course I'm okay. I'm always okay. I'm the King of Okay. Oh, that's a rubbish title. Forget that title. Rory the Roman! That's a good title. Hello, Rory. And Doctor River Song. Oh, you bad, bad girl. What trouble have you got for me this time? (River slaps the Doctor, hard.) DOCTOR: Okay. I'm assuming that's for something I haven't done yet. RIVER: Yes, it is. DOCTOR: Good. Looking forward to it. RORY: I don't understand. How can you be here? DOCTOR: I was invited. Date, map reference. Same as you lot, I assume, otherwise it's a hell of a coincidence. AMY: River, what's going on? RIVER: Amy, ask him what age he is. DOCTOR: That's a bit personal. RIVER: Tell her. Tell her what age you are. DOCTOR: Nine hundred and nine. RIVER: Yeah, but you said you were RIVER: So where does that leave us, huh? Jim the fish? Have we done Jim the fish yet? DOCTOR: Who's Jim the fish? AMY: I don't understand. RORY: Yeah, you do. DOCTOR: I don't! What are we all doing here? RIVER: We've been recruited. Something to do with space 1969, and a man called Canton Everett Delaware the third. DOCTOR: Recruited by who? RIVER: Someone who trusts you more than anybody else in the universe. DOCTOR: And who's that? RIVER: Spoilers. [Tardis] DOCTOR: 1969, that's an easy one! Funny, how some years are easy. Now, 1482, full of glitches. Now then, Canton Everett Delaware the third. That was his name, yeah? How many of those can there be? Well, three, I suppose. Rory, is everybody cross with me for some reason? RORY: I'll find out. [Tardis lower level] AMY: Explain it again. RIVER: The Doctor we saw on the beach is a future version, two hundred years older than the one up there. AMY: But all that's still going to happen. He's still going to die. RIVER: We're all going to do that, Amy. RORY: We're not all going to arrange our own wake and invite ourselves. So, the Doctor, in the future, knowing he's going to die, recruits his younger self and all of us to, to what, exactly? Avenge him? RIVER: Uh huh. Avenging's not his style. AMY: Save him. RORY: Yeah, that's not really his style either. AMY: We have to tell him. RIVER: We've told him all we can. We can't even tell him we've seen his future self. He's interacted with his own past. It could rip a hole in the universe. AMY: Yes, but he's done it before. RORY: And in fairness, the universe did blow up. AMY: But he'd want to know. RIVER: Would he? Would anyone? DOCTOR: I'm being extremely clever up here, and there's no one to stand around looking impressed! What's the point in having you all? RIVER: Couldn't you just slap him sometimes? AMY: River, we can't just let him die. We have to stop it. How can you be okay with this? RIVER: The Doctor's death doesn't frighten me. Nor does my own. There's a far worse day coming for me. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Time isn't a straight line. It's all bumpy wumpy. There's loads of boring stuff like Sundays and Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons. But now and then there are Saturdays. Big temporal tipping points when anything's possible. The Tardis can't resist them, like a moth to a flame. She loves a party, so I give her 1969 and NASA, because that's space in the sixties, and Canton Everett Delaware the third, and this is where she's pointing. AMY: Washington D.C., April the eighth, 1969. So why haven't we landed? DOCTOR: Because that's not where we're going. RORY: Oh. Where are we going? DOCTOR: Home. Well, you two are. Off you pop and make babies. And you, Doctor Song, back to prison. And me? I'm late for a biplane lesson in 1911. Or it could be knitting. Knitting or biplanes. One or the other. What? A mysterious summons. You think I'm just going to go? Who sent those messages? I know you know. I can see it in your faces. Don't play games with me. Don't ever, ever think you're capable of that. RIVER: You're going to have to trust us this time. DOCTOR: Trust you? Sure. But, first of all, Doctor Song, just one thing. Who are you? You're someone from my future. Getting that. But who? Okay. Why are you in prison? Who did you kill, hmm? Now, I love a bad girl, me, but trust you? Seriously. AMY: Trust me. DOCTOR: Okay. AMY: You have to do this, and you can't ask why. DOCTOR: Are you being threatened? Is someone making you say that? AMY: No. DOCTOR: You're lying. AMY: I'm not lying. DOCTOR: Swear to me. Swear to me on something that matters. AMY: Fish fingers and custard. DOCTOR: My life in your hands, Amelia Pond. RIVER: Thank you. DOCTOR: So! Canton Everett Delaware the third. Who's he? [Bar] (W Morgan Sheppard's son, Mark.) CANTON: Who wants to know? CARL: Your boss. CANTON: I don't have a boss anymore. CARL: Maybe you want to tell that to the President of the United States. [Tardis] RIVER: Ex FBI. Got kicked out. DOCTOR: Why? [Car] NIXON [on telephone]: I understand that you have a problem with authority. CANTON: Thank you. NIXON [on telephone]: That's not a compliment, son. [Tardis] RIVER: Six weeks after he left the Bureau, the President contacted him for a private meeting. DOCTOR: Yeah, 1969. Who's President? [Oval office] NIXON: This is a personal matter. I need someone on the outside, someone with FBI training [Car] NIXON [on telephone]: But who's not in contact with them. CANTON: I'm flattered. [Oval office] NIXON: You were my second choice for this, Mister Delaware. CANTON [OC]: That's okay. [Car] CANTON: You were my second choice for President, Mister Nixon. [Tardis] RIVER: Richard Milhous Nixon. Vietnam, Watergate. There's some good stuff, too. DOCTOR: Not enough. RIVER: Hippie! DOCTOR: Archaeologist. [Oval office] NIXON: Every day, wherever I am, I get a phone call. CANTON: People can't just call you, Mister President. NIXON: It's a direct call every time. Every day for the last two weeks, usually late at night. CANTON: Man or woman? NIXON: Neither. Listen. (Well, he did like recording everything.) [Tardis] DOCTOR: Okay, since I don't know what I'm getting into this time, for once I'm being discreet. I'm putting the engines on silent. (He pulls a lever and there is a wail. River throws a different switch and it goes quiet.) DOCTOR: Did you do something? RIVER: No, just watching. DOCTOR: Putting the outer shield on invisible. I haven't done this in a while. Big drain on the power. RORY: You can turn the Tardis invisible? DOCTOR: Ha! RIVER: Very nearly. (And she moves another lever.) DOCTOR: Er, did you touch something? RIVER: Just admiring your skills, sweetie. DOCTOR: Good. You might learn something. Okay. Now I can't check the scanner. It doesn't work when we're cloaked. Just give us a mo. Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. You lot, wait a moment. We're in the middle of the most powerful city in the most powerful country on Earth. Let's take it slow. (The Doctor steps out of the Tardis.) [Oval office] (As Nixon and Canton are listening to the recording.) NIXON [OC]: Hello? Who is this? This is President Nixon. Who's calling? Is this you again? GIRL [OC]: Mister President? CANTON: A child. NIXON [OC]: This is the President, yes. GIRL [OC]: I'm scared, Mister President. I'm scared of the spaceman. CANTON: A little girl? NIXON: Boy. CANTON: How can you be sure? NIXON [OC]: What spaceman? Where are you phoning from? Where are you right now? Who are you? (The Doctor quietly gets out a notebook and starts writing.) GIRL [OC]: Jefferson Adams Hamilton. NIXON [OC]: Jefferson, listen to me. (The child rings off.) CANTON: Surely this is something the Bureau could handle, sir. NIXON: These calls happen wherever I am. How do I know the Bureau isn't involved? I can't trust anyone (Nixon turns around and sees the Doctor. Canton stands and turns, too. The Doctor keeps writing.) DOCTOR: Oh. Hello. Bad moment. Oh look, this is the Oval Office. I was looking for the er, oblong room. I'll just be off, then, shall I? (And walks smack into the cloaked Tardis, causing a big jolt inside.) [Tardis] RIVER: Every time. [Oval office] DOCTOR: Don't worry! It always does that when its cloaked. (Canton wrestles the Doctor to the floor.) DOCTOR: Ah, no. Stop that. [Tardis] RORY: He said the scanner wouldn't work. RIVER: I know. Bless. [Oval office] (The Secret Service run in.) CARL: Lockdown! Lockdown! [Tardis] DOCTOR [on scanner]: Stop that! Argh! Oh! [Oval office] DOCTOR: River, have you got my scanner [Tardis] DOCTOR [on scanner]: Working yet? RIVER: Oh, I hate him. [Oval office] DOCTOR: No, you don't! CARL: Get the President out of here. Sir, you have to go with them, now. DOCTOR: River, make her blue again! (The Tardis shimmers into the visible spectrum.) NIXON: What the hell is that? (While they were distracted, the Doctor has slipped out of their grasp and into Nixon's chair.) DOCTOR: Mister President, that child just told you everything you need to know, but you weren't listening. Never mind, though, because the answer's yes. I'll take the case. Fellows, the guns, really? I just walked into the highest security office in the United States and parked a big blue box on the rug. Do you think you can just shoot me? RIVER: They're Americans! DOCTOR: Don't shoot. Definitely no shooting. RORY: Nobody shoot us either. Very much not in need of getting shot. Look, we've got our hands up. NIXON: Who the hell are you? CANTON: Sir, you need to stay back. NIXON: But who are they and what is that box? DOCTOR: It's a police box. Can't you read? I'm your new undercover agent on loan from Scotland Yard. Code name the Doctor. These are my top operatives, the Legs, the Nose, and Mrs Robinson. RIVER: I hate you. DOCTOR: No, you don't. NIXON: Who are you? DOCTOR: Nah, boring question. Who's phoning you? That's interesting. Because Canton Three is right. That was definitely a girl's voice, which means there's only one place in America she can be phoning from. CANTON: Where? CARL: Do not engage with the intruder, Mister Delaware. You heard everything I heard. It's simple enough. Give me five minutes, I'll explain. On the other hand, lay a finger on me or my friends, and you'll never, ever know. CANTON: How did you get it in here? I mean, you didn't carry it in. DOCTOR: Clever, eh? CANTON: Love it. CARL: Do not compliment the intruder. CANTON: Five minutes? DOCTOR: Five. CARL: Mister President, that man is a clear and present danger to CANTON: Mister President, that man walked in here with a big blue box and three of his friends, and that's the man he walked past. One of them's worth listening to. I say we give him five minutes. See if he delivers. DOCTOR: Thanks, Canton. CANTON: If he doesn't, I'll shoot him myself. DOCTOR: Not so thanks. CARL: Sir, I cannot recommend NIXON: Shut up, Peterson! All right, five minutes. DOCTOR: I'm going to need a SWAT team, ready to mobilise. Street level maps covering all of Florida. A pot of coffee, twelve Jammie Dodgers and a fez. CANTON: Get him his maps. (Later.) CANTON: Why Florida? DOCTOR: There's where NASA is. She mentioned a spaceman. NASA's where the spacemen live. Also, there's another lead I'm following. AMY: A spaceman, like the one we saw at the lake. RIVER: Maybe. Probably. (Amy sees a figure in a suit at the open door. It has a large head with sunken eyes and no mouth, and very long fingers. She recalls the sighting at the lake.) AMY [memory]: Who's that? AMY: I remember. RORY: Amy? What do you remember? (The figure is gone.) AMY: I don't know. I just RORY: Amy, what's wrong? RIVER: Amy? DOCTOR: Are you all right? AMY: Yeah. No, I'm fine. I'm just feeling a little sick. Excuse me, is there a toilet or something? CARL: Sorry, ma'am, while this procedure's ongoing, you must remain within the Oval office. CANTON: Shut up and take her to the restroom. PHIL: This way, ma'am. AMY: Thanks. (Amy leaves. Carl stops Rory from following.) CANTON: Your five minutes are up. "DOCTOR; Yeah, and where's my fez?" [Outside the Rest room] AMY: Actually, I can usually manage this alone. (Phil reluctantly stands guard.) [Rest room] (Amy enters to see the weird alien there.) AMY: Argh! I saw you before, at the lake. And here. But then I forgot. How did I forget? What are you? (A woman comes out of a stall and goes to wash her hands.) AMY: Get back. Stay back from it. (The woman turns to see the alien.) JOY: Eek! Oh, my God. What is that? Is that a mask? Is that a Star Trek thing? Ben, is that you? AMY: Get back from it now! (Joy turns around.) JOY: Back from what, honey? AMY: That. (Joy turns back again.) JOY: Eek! Oh, my God! Look at that. Is that a Star Trek mask? Ben, that's got to be you. Hang on, did I just say all that? AMY: No. Please, you've got to stay back. JOY: Back, honey? Back from what? (The lights flicker.) JOY: Oh, those lights. They never fix them. AMY: Look behind you. JOY: Honey, there is nothing. Argh! (The alien uses the electricity from the lights to give Joy a prolonged zap, until she explodes in a shower of ashes.) AMY: You didn't have to kill her. She couldn't even remember you. How does that work? We can only remember you while we're seeing you, is that it? (Amy takes a photograph with her mobile phone.) AMY: Why did you have to kill her? SILENCE: Joy. Her name was Joy. Your name is Amelia. You will tell the Doctor. AMY: Tell him what? SILENCE: What he must know and what he must never know. AMY: How do you know about that? SILENCE: Tell him. [Outside the Rest room] (Amy runs out.) PHIL: Are you okay? AMY: I'm fine. Much better, thanks. PHIL: What's that? AMY: It's my phone. PHIL: Your phone? AMY: I have to tell the Doctor. PHIL: Tell him what, ma'am? AMY: Sorry, I don't know why I said that. PHIL: This way, ma'am. [Oval office] (The telephone rings.) CANTON: The kid? NIXON: Should I answer it? DOCTOR: Here! The only place in the United States that call could be coming from. See? Obvious, when you think about it. (Amy and Phil return.) CANTON: You, sir, are a genius. DOCTOR: It's a hobby. CANTON: Mister President, answer the phone. NIXON: Hello. This is President Nixon. GIRL [on telephone}: It's here! The spaceman's here! It's going to get me! It's going to eat me! DOCTOR: There's no time for a SWAT team. Let's go. Mister President, tell her help's on the way. Canton, on no account follow me into this box and close the door behind you. CANTON: What the hell are you doing? (Canton runs into the Tardis behind Rory, Amy, River and the Doctor. It dematerialises.) GIRL [on telephone]: Mister President, please help. Please help me! NIXON: Jefferson, it's all right. I'm sending my best people. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Jefferson isn't a girl's name. It's not her name either. Jefferson, Adams, Hamilton. River. RIVER: Surnames of three of America's founding fathers. DOCTOR: Lovely fellows. Two of them fancied me. RORY: Are you okay? Coping? DOCTOR: You see, the President asked the child two questions. Where are you and who are you? She was answering where. CANTON: It's bigger on the inside. RORY: Yeah, you get used to it. DOCTOR: Now, where would you find three big, historical names in a row like that? AMY: Where? DOCTOR: Here. Come on. CANTON: It's er DOCTOR: Are you taking care of this? RORY: Why is it always my turn? AMY: Because you're the newest. [Warehouse office] (A dingy, cluttered place.) AMY: Where are we? DOCTOR: About five miles from Cape Kennedy Space Centre. It's 1969, the year of the moon. Interesting, don't you think? AMY: But why would a little girl be here? DOCTOR: I don't know. Lost me a bit. The President asked the girl where she was, and she did what any lost little girl would do. She looked out of the window. (Where the street sign points to Hamilton Av, Jefferson St and Adams St.) AMY: Streets. Of course, street names. DOCTOR: The only place in Florida, probably all of America, with those three street names on the same junction. And Doctor Song, you've got that face on again. RIVER: What face? DOCTOR: The he's hot when he's clever face. RIVER: This is my normal face. DOCTOR: Yes, it is. RIVER: Oh, shut up. DOCTOR: Not a chance. (Rory finally gets Canton out of the Tardis.) CANTON: We've moved. How, how can we have moved? DOCTOR: You haven't even got to space travel yet? RORY: I was going to cover it with time travel. CANTON: Time travel. DOCTOR: Brave heart, Canton. Come on. CANTON: So we're in a box that's bigger on the inside, and it travels through time and space. RORY: Yeah, basically. CANTON: How long have Scotland Yard had this? [Warehouse] RIVER: It's a warehouse of some kind. Disused. DOCTOR: You realise this is almost certainly a trap, of course? RIVER: I noticed the phone, yes. AMY: What about it? RIVER: It was cut off. So how did the child phone from here? AMY: Okay, but why would anyone want to trap us? DOCTOR: Let's see if anyone tries to kill us and work backwards. (The astronaut watches from the shadows.) RIVER: Now, why would a little girl be here? DOCTOR: I don't know. Let's find her and ask her. (They come across some technology.) RIVER: It's nonterrestrial. Definitely alien. Probably not even from this time zone. DOCTOR: Which is odd, because look at this! (A crate of spacesuits.) RIVER: It's earth tech. It's contemporary. DOCTOR: It's very contemporary. Cutting edge. This is from the space program. RIVER: Stolen? AMY: What, by aliens? DOCTOR: Apparently. AMY: But why? I mean, if you can make it all the way to Earth, why steal technology that can barely make it to the moon? DOCTOR: Maybe because it's cooler? Look how cool this stuff is. AMY: Cool aliens? DOCTOR: Well, what would you call me? AMY: An alien. DOCTOR: Oi! RORY: I, er, I think he's okay now. DOCTOR: Ah! Back with us, Canton. CANTON: I like your wheels. DOCTOR: That's my boy. So, come on. Little girl. Let's find her. (Amy and River examine the alien tech, which has a lot of gunk and slime associated with it.) AMY: River. RIVER: I know what you're thinking. AMY: No, you don't. RIVER: You're thinking if we can find the spaceman in 1969 and neutralise it, then it won't be around in 2011 to kill the Doctor. AMY: Okay, lucky guess. RIVER: It's only because I was thinking it too. AMY: So let's do it. RIVER: It doesn't work like that. We came here because of what we saw in the future. If we try and prevent the future from happening, we create a paradox. AMY: Time can be rewritten. RIVER: Not all of it. AMY: Says who? RIVER: Who do you think? What's this? (A manhole cover.) AMY: We can still save him. RIVER: Doctor? Look at this. DOCTOR: So where does that go? RIVER: There's a network of tunnels running under here. DOCTOR: Life signs? RIVER: No, nothing that's showing up. DOCTOR: Those are the worst kind. (River prepares to go down.) DOCTOR: Be careful. RIVER: Careful? I tried that once. Ever so dull. DOCTOR: Shout if you get in trouble. RIVER: Don't worry, I'm quite the screamer. Now there's a spoiler for you. CANTON: Tell me what's going on here. DOCTOR: Er, nothing. She's just a friend. RORY: I think he's talking about the possible alien incursion. DOCTOR: Okay. (River discovers power lines, and more aliens.) CANTON: So, I was in a bar having a drink. Tell me, honestly, Am I still there? AMY: Afraid not. (River returns in a hurry.) RIVER: All clear. Just tunnels. Nothing down there I can see. Er, give me five minutes. I want to take another look around. DOCTOR: Stupidly dangerous! RIVER: Yeah, I like it too. Amy, look after him. (River goes back down.) DOCTOR: Rory, would you mind going with her? RORY: Yeah, a bit. DOCTOR: Then I'd appreciate it all the more. RORY: Hang on, River. I'm coming too. [Tunnel] RORY: Are you okay? RIVER: Ah. Yes, yes. I just felt a bit sick. It's the prison food, probably. Okay, this way? What do you think? RORY: I keep thinking I hear things. RIVER: That's interesting. These tunnels are old. Really old. How can they be really old and nobody notice them? (They come across a metal door.) RORY: It's a maintenance hatch. RIVER: It's locked. Oh, why do people always lock things? RORY: What's through there? RIVER: I've no idea. RORY: Something bad? RIVER: Almost definitely. RORY: You're going to open it, aren't you? RIVER: Well, it's locked. How's a girl supposed to resist? RORY: Is this sensible? RIVER: God, I hope not. RORY: Oh, you and the Doctor. I can kind of picture it. RIVER: Keep a look out. RORY: What did you mean? What you said to Amy. There's a worst day coming for you. RIVER: When I first met the Doctor, a long, long time ago, he knew all about me. Think about that. An impressionable young girl and, suddenly this man just drops out of the sky and he's clever and mad and wonderful, and knows every last thing about her. Imagine what that does to a girl. RORY: I don't really have to. RIVER: The trouble is, it's all back to front. My past is his future. We're travelling in opposite directions. Every time we meet, I know him more, he knows me less. I live for the days when I see him, but I know that every time I do, he'll be one step further away. And the day is coming when I'll look into that man's eyes, my Doctor, and he won't have the faintest idea who I am. And I think it's going to kill me. (She gets the door unlocked.) [Chamber] (Dry ice wafting across the floor. A hum of machinery and what looks suspiciously like the time ship that was pretending to the the first floor of 79 Aickman Road, Colchester.) RORY: What is this place? RIVER: That's an alarm. Check if anything's coming. (Rory looks outside and sees the aliens, but when he turns back - ) RORY: There's nothing out there. RIVER: These tunnels, they're not just here, they're everywhere. They're running under the surface of the entire planet. They've been here for centuries. (The lights start flickering.) RIVER: Rory! [Warehouse] AMY: So, you were kicked out of the FBI because you had attitude problems? CANTON: No, I just wanted to get married. AMY: Is that a crime? CANTON: Yes. Doctor who, exactly? AMY: Ah. That's classified. CANTON: Classified by who? AMY: God knows. CANTON: Do you work for him? AMY: He's my friend, if friend is the right word. I haven't seen him in a while. I had something I wanted to tell him, but stuff always gets in the way. CANTON: Stuff does that. GIRL [OC]: Help me! Help! Help me! CANTON: That's her. (Amy suddenly doubles over.) DOCTOR: Amy? GIRL [OC]: Help me! Please! DOCTOR: What's wrong? AMY: I need to tell you something. It's important. CANTON [OC]: Doctor! AMY: It's really, really important. CANTON [OC]: Doctor, quickly! DOCTOR: What, now? (They run through the warehouse to find Canton on the floor.) DOCTOR: Canton! Canton, are you okay? AMY: Is he all right? DOCTOR: Just unconscious. Got a proper whack. AMY: Doctor, I need to tell you something. I have to tell you it now. DOCTOR: Not a great moment. AMY: No, it's important. It has to be now. GIRL [OC]: Help! Help me! Help me! AMY: Doctor, I'm pregnant. (Heavy footsteps behind them.) AMY: That's it. The astronaut. (The astronaut points at the Doctor. Amy reaches for Canton's gun. The astronaut raises its visor - it is the little girl.) GIRL: Help me! AMY: Get down! DOCTOR: What are you doing? AMY: Saving your life! DOCTOR: No! (Amy shoots at the astronaut, and screams.) [Valley of the Gods, Utah] (Three months later - July 1969. Amy is running for her life from men in a four wheel drive.) CANTON: Suspect directly ahead. Coming to you now. Over. (Another vehicle is coming from the opposite direction. They trap her by a cliff.) AMY: Canton. CANTON: Miss Pond. AMY: Is that a body bag? CANTON: Yes, it is. AMY: It's empty. CANTON: How about that? AMY: Do you even know why you're doing this, eh? Can you even remember the warehouse? [Warehouse memory] (The Doctor is dragging Canton away.) DOCTOR: Canton. Amy. Amy! RORY: River, come on! DOCTOR: Run! CANTON: What the hell's going on? DOCTOR: Look behind you. CANTON: There's nothing behind me. DOCTOR: Look. Look. Canton, look, I tell you. (Canton turns around.) SILENCE: Canton. (Canton shoots Amy in Utah. She has tally marks on her arms.) [Area 51, Nevada] (The Doctor is in a strait-jacket, shackles to a chair with a yellow circle around it. He is surrounded by guards and notices saying Do Not Approach The Prisoner and Do Not Interact With The Prisoner, and has grown a beard.) TANNOY: All visitors to remain behind the yellow line. All visitors to remain behind the yellow line.  CANTON: We found Amy Pond. She had strange markings on her arm. Do you know what they are? DOCTOR: Why don't you ask her? [New York] (River has tally marks on her arms, too. She is wearing evening dress and running through a skyscraper under construction.) RIVER: I see you. I see you. (She tallies two more Silence on her arm.) CANTON: Doctor Song? Doctor Song? Go! Go! Go! (They catch up with her at an open wall.) CANTON: Don't move! It's over. RIVER: They're here, Canton. They're everywhere. CANTON: I know. America's being invaded. RIVER: You were invaded a long time ago. America is occupied. CANTON: You're coming with us, Doctor Song. There's no way out this time. RIVER: There's always a way out. (River gently falls backwards out of the skyscraper. [Area 51] (A wall is being constructed around the Doctor.) CANTON: We found Doctor Song. DOCTOR: These bricks, what are they made of? Where is she? CANTON: She ran. Off the fiftieth floor. DOCTOR: I'd say zero balance dwarf star alloy. The densest material in the universe. Nothing gets through that. You're building me the perfect prison. And it still won't be enough. [Glen Canyon Dam - Arizona] (A very dishevelled Rory with lots of tally marks on his skin runs out onto the top of the dam, only to find lots of men with guns waiting for him, and it's a long way down.) RORY: What are you waiting for? CANTON: I'm waiting for you to run. It'd look better if I shot you while you're running. Then again, looks aren't everything. (Canton shoots Rory.) [Cell] (Body bags are dragged in to the completed dwarf star alloy cell.) DOCTOR: Is there a reason you're doing this? CANTON: I want you to know where you stand. DOCTOR: In a cell. CANTON: In the perfect cell. Nothing can penetrate these walls. Not a sound, not a radio wave, not the tiniest particle of anything. (Canton closes the door when the soldiers leave. It vanishes. There is a palm print panel near where it should be.) CANTON: In here, you're literally cut off from the rest of the universe. So I guess they can't hear us, right? DOCTOR: Good work, Canton. Door sealed? CANTON: You bet. (The Doctor shakes off his shackles and strait-jacket. The body bags sit up, gasping for breath.) DOCTOR: Are you okay? AMY: Finally. RORY: These things could really do with air holes. CANTON: Never had a complaint before. AMY: Isn't it going to look odd that you're staying in here with us? CANTON: Odd, but not alarming. They know there's no way out of this place. DOCTOR: Exactly. Whatever they might think we're doing in here, they know we're not going anywhere. (The Doctor slumps to his right, and leans against the Tardis. He snaps his fingers to open the door.) DOCTOR: Shall we? CANTON: What about Doctor Song? [Tardis] CANTON: She dove off a rooftop. DOCTOR: Don't worry. She does that. Amy, Rory, open all the doors to the swimming pool. (River turns into a dive, and plummets through the Tardis' open door where it is parked on the side of the skyscraper. There is a big Splosh!) DOCTOR: So, we know they're everywhere. Not just a landing party, an occupying force, and they 'have been here a very, very long time. But nobody knows that, because no one can remember them. CANTON: So what are they up to? DOCTOR: No idea. But the good news is, we've got a secret weapon. [Kennedy Space Centre] (A Saturn V rocket is on the launch pad nearby.) RIVER: Apollo 11's your secret weapon? DOCTOR: No, no. It's not Apollo 11. That would be silly. It's Neil Armstrong's foot. [Car] (It is a dark and stormy night when a car drives up to the Graystark Hall Orphanage.) RADIO [OC]: In just a few days, mankind will set foot on the Moon for the first time. Today, the President reaffirmed America's commitment CANTON: Ready. Check. (Amy looks at her palm. No tally marks.) AMY: Clear. (Canton looks at his palm.) CANTON: Clear. [Tardis] (Earlier, the Doctor has injected something into Canton's palm.) CANTON: Ow! DOCTOR: Ha. So, three months. What have we found out? RORY: Well, they are everywhere. Every state in America. Ahh. (Rory got his injection.) DOCTOR: Not just America, the entire world. RIVER: There's a greater concentration here, though. AMY: Ow! DOCTOR: Are you okay? AMY: All better. DOCTOR: Better? AMY: Turns out I was wrong. I'm not pregnant. RORY: What's up? AMY: Nothing. Really, nothing. Seriously. CANTON: So you've seen them, but you don't remember them. RIVER: You've seen them, too. That night at the warehouse, remember? While you were pretending to hunt us down, we saw hundreds of those things. We still don't know what they look like. RORY: It's like they edit themselves out of your memory as soon as you look away. The exact second you're not looking at them, you can't remember anything. AMY: Sometimes you feel a bit sick, though, but not always. CANTON: So that's why you marked your skin. AMY: Only way we'd know if we'd had an encounter. CANTON: How long have they been here? AMY: That's what we've spent the last three months trying to find out. RORY: Not easy, if you can't remember anything you discover. CANTON: How long do you think? DOCTOR: As long as there's been something in the corner of your eye, or creaking in your house, or breathing under your bed, or voices through a wall. They've been running your lives for a very long time now, so keep this straight in your head. We are not fighting an alien invasion, we're leading a revolution. And today, the battle begins. CANTON: How? DOCTOR: Like this. (The Doctor quickly injects River.) RIVER: Ow! DOCTOR: (laughs) Nanorecorder. Fuses with the cartilage in your hand. (injects himself) Ow. And it tunes itself directly to the speech centres in your brain. It'll pick up your voice, no matter what. Telepathic connection. So, the moment you see one of the creatures, you activate it, and describe aloud exactly what you're seeing. DOCTOR: [OC]: And describe aloud exactly what you're seeing. DOCTOR: Because the moment you break contact, you're going to forget it happened. The light will flash if you've left yourself a message. You keep checking your hand if you've had an encounter. That's the first you'll know about it. CANTON: Why didn't you tell me this before we started? DOCTOR: I did, but even information about these creatures erases itself over time. I couldn't refresh it because I couldn't talk to you. (Canton looks away then turns back and adjusts the Doctor's bow tie.) CANTON: What? What are you staring at? RIVER: Look at your hand. (A little dot is flashing.) CANTON: Why is it doing that? DOCTOR: What does it mean if the light's flashing? What did I just tell you? CANTON: I haven't DOCTOR: Play it. CANTON [OC]: My God, how did it get in here? DOCTOR [OC]: Keep eye contact with the creature and, when I say, turn back, and when you do, straighten my bow tie. CANTON [OC]: What? What are you staring at? RIVER [OC]: Look at your hand. (One of the aliens is standing there.) DOCTOR: It's a hologram, extrapolated from the photo on Amy's phone. Take a good, long look. (The Doctor turns off the image.) DOCTOR: You just saw an image of one of the creatures we're fighting. Describe it to me. CANTON: I can't. DOCTOR: No. Neither can I. You straightened my bow tie because I planted the idea in your head while you were looking at the creature. AMY: So they could do that to people. You could be doing stuff and not really knowing why you're doing it. RORY: Like posthypnotic suggestion. AMY: Ruling the world with posthypnotic suggestion? DOCTOR: Now then, a little girl in a spacesuit. They got the suit from NASA, but where did they get the girl? CANTON: It could be anywhere. DOCTOR: Except they'd probably stay close to that warehouse, because why bother doing anything else? And they'd take her from somewhere that would cause the least amount of attention. But you'll have to find her. I'm off to NASA. CANTON: Find her? Where do we look? DOCTOR: Children's homes. [Greystark Hall Orphanage] RENFREW: Hello? CANTON: FBI. You must be Doctor Renfrew. Can we come in? RENFREW: The children are asleep. AMY: We'll be very quiet. RENFREW: Is there a problem? CANTON: It's about a missing child. RENFREW: What are you. Yes, come in, please. This way. Please excuse the writing. It keeps happening. I try to clean it up. (On the wall up the staircase are the words Get Out Leave Now in large red letters.) AMY: It's the kids, yeah? They did that. RENFREW: Yes, the children. It must be, yes. Anyway, my office is this way. CANTON: We nearly didn't come to this place. I understood Graystark Hall was closed in 67. RENFREW: That's the plan, yes. AMY: The plan? RENFREW: Not long now. CANTON: It's 1969. RENFREW: No, no. We close in 67. That's the plan, yes. CANTON: You misunderstood me, sir. It's 1969 now. RENFREW: Why are you saying that? Of course it isn't. CANTON: July. RENFREW: My office is this way. This way. AMY: I'll check upstairs. CANTON: Be careful. (The first dormitory is derelict and deserted, with the walls graffitied with Leave Me Alone and Get Out Now.) [Apollo 11] DOCTOR: Amy. [Dormitory] AMY: I think we've found the place she was taken from. [Apollo 11] DOCTOR: How do you know? AMY: Because those things have been here. But the whole place is deserted. [Dormitory] AMY: There's just one guy here and I think he's lost it. [Apollo 11] DOCTOR: Repeated memory wipes fry your head eventually. Find out what you can, but don't hang around. [Dormitory] AMY: Where are you? [Apollo 11] DOCTOR: Got to go. Got company. (He closes the panel he has been working on.) DOCTOR: Don't worry, I've put everything back the way I found it. Except this. There's always a bit left over, isn't there? (The scientists are not amused. The Doctor's gizmo quietly beeps to itself inside the module.) [Dormitory] (The door slams shut behind Amy. She tried to open it then sees the blinking light in her palm.) AMY [OC]: I can see them, but I think they're asleep. Get out. Just get out! She tries the windows then sees the tally marks on her hands, and then the lightning shows her reflection in the glass. There are tally marks on her face, too. The aliens are hanging from the ceiling in a cluster, like bats. She bumps into a bucket and they start to wake. Then the door opens and she forgets it all.) [Lecture hall] (Diagrams of the command module and the lander on the blackboards.) GARDNER: Now, one more time, sir. How the hell did you get into the command module? DOCTOR: I told you. I'm on a top secret mission for the President. GARDNER: Well, maybe if you just get President Nixon to assure us of that, sir, that would be swell. DOCTOR: I sent him a message. (The President enters, with River and Rory.) NIXON: Hello. I believe it's Mister Gardner. Is that correct? Head of Security? GARDNER: Er, yes sir. Yes, Mister President. NIXON: Mister Grant, is it? GRANT: Yes, Mister President. NIXON: The hopes and dreams of millions of Americans stand here today at Cape Kennedy, and you're the men who guard those dreams. On behalf of the American people, I thank you. GARDNER: You're welcome, Mister President. NIXON: I understand you have a baby on the way, Mister Grant. GRANT: Yes, Mister President. NIXON: What are you hoping for, a boy or a girl? GRANT: Just a healthy American, sir. NIXON: A healthy American will do just nicely. Now, fellows, listen. This man, here, code name the Doctor, is doing some work for me personally. Could you cut him a little slack? GARDNER: Er, Mister President, he did break in to Apollo 11. DOCTOR: (silent) Sorry. NIXON: Well, I'm sure he had a very good reason for that. But I need you to release him now so he can get on with some very important work for the American people. Could you do that for me? GRANT: Well NIXON: Son, I am your Commander in Chief. GARDNER: Then I guess that would be fine, Mister President. NIXON: Glad to hear it. (The MP releases the Doctor.) DOCTOR: Thank you. Bye, bye. NIXON: Carry on, gentlemen. (Rory has been examining a model of Eagle. He breaks it.) RORY: Ahem. America salutes you. [Renfrew's office] CANTON: This place, it's been closed for years. What have you been doing? RENFREW: Oh, the child. She must be cared for. It's important. That's what they said. CANTON: That's what who said? [Attic corridor] (There is a metal door with a small hatch in it. A woman wearing an eye patch looks out at Amy.) AMY: Hello. Who are you? (The woman turns away and speaks to someone else.) EYE PATCH LADY: No, I think she's just dreaming. (The cover of the window slides shut. Amy goes to the door and opens it. It is a cozy child's room.) AMY: Hello? I saw you looking through the hatch. (Except there isn't one any more.) [Bedroom] (There are a lot of photographs on the chest of drawers, including one of...) AMY: How? How can that be me? (She is pictured holding a baby. The astronaut enters.) AMY: Who are you? I don't understand, so just tell me who you are. (The astronaut raises its gold visor. It is the little girl. There is a crack in the helmet.) AMY: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shoot you. I'm glad I missed. But you killed the Doctor. Or you're going to kill him. But who are you? Just please tell me, because I don't understand. GIRL: Please help me. Help me. Please. (Two aliens enter. Amy screams.) [Renfrew's office] (Someone knocks on the door. Renfrew answers it.) RENFREW: It's just some questions. Yes, I see. CANTON: Who was that? Doctor Renfrew. Who was that? RENFREW: Who was who? (An alien enters. Canton activates his recorder.) CANTON: What are you? You can tell me, because I won't remember. You invaded us. You're everywhere. AMY [OC]: Help me! Please. I can't see. Somebody, help me. CANTON: Are you armed? SILENCE: This world is ours. We have ruled it since the wheel and the fire. We have no need of weapons. CANTON: Yeah? (Canton shoots the alien.) CANTON: Welcome to America. Amy! [Oval office] (The Doctor has returned Nixon to Washington in the Tardis.) DOCTOR: You have to tape everything that happens in this office. Every word, or you won't know if you're under the influence. NIXON: Doctor, you have to give me more than this. What were you doing to Apollo 11? DOCTOR: Thing. A clever thing. Now, no more questions. You have to trust me and nobody else. (River pops out of the Tardis with the telephone.) RIVER: Doctor, it's Canton. Quick, he needs us. [Attic corridor] AMY [OC]: Help me. Please, I can't. I can't see. Somebody help me. (Canton finds the bedroom door. It is locked.) CANTON: Amy! Amy, can you hear me? Amy, I'm going to try to blow the lock. I need you to stand back. DOCTOR: Okay, gun down. I've got it. RORY: Amy, we're here. Are you okay? AMY [OC]: I can't see. (They rush into the room. The little girl is hiding along the corridor.) [Bedroom] RORY: Where is she, Doctor? (The spacesuit is lying on the floor.) RIVER: It's empty. AMY [OC]: It's dark. So dark. I don't know where I am. Please, can anybody hear me? (Amy's nanorecorder is on the floor, flashing.) RORY: They took this out of her. How did they do that, Doctor? Why can I still hear her? RIVER: Is it a recording? DOCTOR: Er, it defaults to live. This is current. Wherever she is right now, this is what she's saying. RORY: Amy, can you hear me? We're coming for you. Wherever you are, we're coming, I swear. DOCTOR: She can't hear you. I'm so sorry. It's one way. RORY: She can always hear me, Doctor. Always. Wherever she is, and she always knows that I am coming for her. Do you understand me? Always. AMY [OC]: Doctor, are you out there? Can you hear me? Doctor? Oh, God. Please, please, Doctor, just get me out of this. RORY: He's coming. I'll bring him, I swear. RENFREW: Hello? Is somebody there? I think someone has been shot. I think we should help. We c. I can't re. I can't remember. [Renfrew's office] (The Silence is still alive.) DOCTOR: Okay. Who and what are you? SILENCE: Silence, Doctor. We are the Silence. PRISONER ZERO [memory]: Silence, Doctor. DOCTOR [memory]: Rory, listen to that. RORY [memory]: Silence. ROSANNA [memory]: We ran from the Silence. DOCTOR [memory]: The Silence? SILENCE: And Silence will fall. [Area 51] (The cell door opens and the soldiers ready their weapons.) CANTON: Hello again. ISHEM: Sir, you've been in there for days. What the hell have you been doing? CANTON: It doesn't matter. I need Doctor Shepherd here right now. ISHEM: Sir, I need to talk to Colonel Jefferson right now. CANTON: No, you really don't. (Because their Commander in Chief walks out of the cell.) NIXON: Er, hiya, fellows. I'm President Nixon. I want to tell you, on behalf of the American people, how much we appreciate all of your hard work. TELEVISION: The target for the Apollo 11 astronauts, the Moon, at liftoff, will be at a distance of 218,096 miles away. We're just past the two minute mark in the countdown. T minus one minute fifty four seconds and counting. [Warehouse] (They are examining the spacesuit with the alien's own technology.) RIVER: It's an exoskeleton. Basically, life support. There's about twenty different kinds of alien tech in here. DOCTOR: Who was she? Why put her in here? RIVER: You put this on, you don't even need to eat. The suit processes sunlight directly. It's got built in weaponry, and a communications system that can hack into anything. DOCTOR: Including the telephone network? RIVER: Easily. DOCTOR: But why phone the President? RIVER: It defaults to the highest authority it can find. The little girl gets frightened, the most powerful man on Earth gets a phone call. The night terrors with a hotline to the White House. (The Doctor licks his invitation envelope.) RIVER: You won't learn anything from that envelope, you know. DOCTOR: Purchased on earth. Perfectly ordinary stationery. Tardis blue. Summoned by a stranger who won't even show his face. That's a first, for me. How about you? RIVER: Our lives are back to front. Your future's my past. Your firsts are my lasts. DOCTOR: That's not really what I asked. RIVER: Ask something else, then. DOCTOR: What are the Silence doing, raising a child? RIVER: Keeping her safe, even giving her independence. DOCTOR: The only way to save Amy is to work out what the Silence are doing. RORY: I know. DOCTOR: And every single thing we learn about them brings us a step closer. RORY: Yeah, Doctor, I get it. I know. DOCTOR: Of course, it's possible she's not just any little girl. RIVER: Well, I'd say she's human, going by the life support software. DOCTOR: But? RIVER: She climbed out of this suit. Like she forced her way out. She must be incredibly strong. DOCTOR: Incredibly strong and running away. I like her. RIVER: We should be trying to find her. DOCTOR: Yes, I know. But how? Anyway, I have the strangest feeling she's going to find us. TELEVISION: Apollo 11, this is Houston. How do you read? Over. RORY: Why does it look like a NASA spacesuit? DOCTOR: Because that's what the Silence do. Think about it. They don't make anything themselves. They don't have to. They get other life forms to do it for them. RIVER: So they're parasites, then. DOCTOR: Superparasites, standing in the shadows of human history since the very beginning. We know they can influence human behaviour any way they want. If they've been doing that on a global scale for thousands of years. RORY: Then what? DOCTOR: Then why did the human race suddenly decide to go to the Moon? TELEVISION: Ten, nine. Ignition sequence start. six, five, four DOCTOR: Because the Silence needed a spacesuit. TELEVISION: One, zero. All engines running. Liftoff. We have a liftoff. Thirty two minutes past the hour, liftoff on Apollo 11. [Cell] SHEPHERD: My God. What is it? CANTON: It's just an alien, Doctor Shepherd. SHEPHERD: Someone's already been treating it. CANTON: Yeah, you've been treating it. SHEPHERD: Does Colonel Jefferson know this thing is here? CANTON: No. SHEPHERD: Then I'm going to tell him right now. CANTON: Again. SHEPHERD: Sorry, what? CANTON: Exactly. SHEPHERD: Sergeant, why was I called in here for no reason? (Shepherd leaves.) SILENCE: You tend to my wounds. You are foolish. (Canton uses a mobile phone to video record the conversation.) CANTON: Why? What would you do in my place? SILENCE: We have ruled your lives since your lives began. You should kill us all on sight, but you will never remember we were even here. You will evolve. CANTON: Yeah? Well, sorry to disappoint you, but thanks. That's exactly what I needed to hear. This is a videophone. Whatever a videophone is. [Warehouse] (The video file arrives on River's tricorder.) SILENCE [on screen]: You should kill us all on sight. AMY [OC]: Help me, Doctor. (The spacesuit glove twitches.) RIVER: This suit, it seems to be repairing itself. How's it doing that? Doctor, a unit like this, would it ever be able to move without an occupant? DOCTOR: Why? RIVER: Well, the little girl said the spaceman was coming to eat her. Maybe that's exactly what happened. AMY [OC]: I love you. I know you think it's him. I know you think it ought to be him, but it's not. It's you. And when I see you again, I'm going to tell you properly, just to see your stupid face. My life was so boring before you just dropped out of the sky. So just get your stupid face where I can see it, okay? Okay? DOCTOR: She'll be safe for now. No point in a dead hostage. RORY: Can't you save her? DOCTOR: I can track that signal back. Take us right to her. RORY: Then why haven't you? DOCTOR: Because then what? I find her and then what do I do? This isn't an alien invasion. They live here. This is their empire. This is kicking the Romans out of Rome. RORY: Rome fell. DOCTOR: I know. I was there. RORY: So was I. DOCTOR: Personal question. RORY: Seriously, you? DOCTOR: Do you ever remember it? Two thousand years, waiting for Amy? The last Centurion. RORY: No. DOCTOR: You're lying. RORY: Of course I'm lying. DOCTOR: Of course you are. Not the sort of thing anyone forgets. RORY: But I don't remember it all the time. It's like this door in my head. I can keep it shut. AMY [OC]: Please, please, just come and get me. Come and get me. TELEVISION: The Flight Controller's going to go for landing. Just five days since Apollo 11 blasted off from Cape Kennedy, this unprecedented journey is reaching its crucial moment. Armstrong and Aldrin are making their descent to the surface of the Moon. DUKE [OC]: We copy you on the ground. You got a bunch of guys about to turn blue. [Spaceship] (Oh look, it's that set again.) AMY: Where am I? Where is this? (Amy is fastened with alien tech.) SILENCE: You are Amelia Pond. AMY: You're ugly. Has anyone mentioned that to you? SILENCE: We do you honour. You will bring the Silence. But your part will soon be over. AMY: Whatever that means, you've made a big mistake, bringing me here, because wait until you see what's coming for you now. SILENCE: You have been here many days. AMY: No, I just got here. You just put me in here. SILENCE: Your memory is weak. You have been here many days. AMY: No. No, I can't have been. SILENCE: You will sleep now. Sleep. AMY: No. SILENCE: Sleep. AMY: No. Get off me. No. No. SILENCE: Sleep. AMY: No! (The Tardis materialises.) DOCTOR: Oh, interesting. Very Aickman Road. I've seen one of these before. Abandoned. I wonder how that happened? Oh, well I suppose I'm about to find out. Rory, River, keep one Silent in eyeshot at all times. Oh, hello. Sorry, you were in the middle of something. I just had to say, though, have you seen what's on the telly? Oh, hello, Amy. Are you all right? Want to watch some television? Ah. Now, stay where you are. Because look at me, I'm confident. You want to watch that, me, when I'm confident. Oh, and this is my friend River. Nice hair, clever, has her own gun, and unlike me, she really doesn't mind shooting people. I shouldn't like that. Kind of do, a bit. RIVER: Thank you, sweetie. DOCTOR: I know you're team players and everything, but she'll definitely kill at least the first three of you. RIVER: Well, the first seven, easily. DOCTOR: Seven? Really? RIVER: Oh, eight for you, honey. DOCTOR: Stop it. RIVER: Make me. DOCTOR: Yeah? Well, maybe I will. AMY: Is this really important flirting? Because I feel like I should be higher on the list right now. DOCTOR: Yes. Right. Sorry. As I was saying, my naughty friend here is going to kill the first three of you to attack, plus him behind, so maybe you want to draw lots or have a quiz. (Rory is trying to free Amy.) AMY: What's he got? RORY: Something, I hope. DOCTOR: Or maybe you could just listen a minute. Because all I really want to do is accept your total surrender and then I'll let you go in peace. Yes, you've been interfering in human history for thousands of years. Yes, people have suffered and died, but what's the point in two hearts, if you can't be a bit forgiving, now and then? Ooo, the Silence. You guys take that seriously, don't you? Okay, you got me. I'm lying. I'm not really going to let you go that easily. Nice thought, but it's not Christmas. First, you tell me about the girl. Who is she? Why is she important? What's she for? McCANDLESS [OC]: And we're getting a picture on the TV. DOCTOR: Guys, sorry, but you're way out of time. Now, come on. A bit of history for you. Aren't you proud? Because you helped. Now, do you know how many people are watching this live on the telly? Half a billion. And that's nothing, because the human race will spread out among the stars. You just watch them fly. Billions and billions of them, for billions and billions of years, and every single one of them at some point in their lives, will look back at this man, taking that very first step, and they will never, ever forget it. TELEVISION: Okay, engine stop. ATA on the descent. Modes control both auto. Descent engine command off.  (The Doctor gets out his phone.) DOCTOR: Oh. But don't forget this bit. Ready? [Cell] CANTON: Ready. (Canton attaches the videophone to the Doctor's super satellite phone, and dials up Apollo 11.) [Spaceship] ARMSTRONG [OC]: That's one small step for a man SILENCE [on TV]: You should kill us all on sight. You should kill us all on sight. You should kill us all on sight. You should kill us all on sight. DOCTOR: You've given the order for your own execution, and the whole planet just heard you. SILENCE [OC]: You should kill us all on sight. ARMSTRONG [OC]: One giant leap for mankind. DOCTOR: And one whacking great kick up the backside for the Silence. You just raised an army against yourself and now, for a thousand generations, you're going to be ordering them to destroy you every day. How fast can you run? Because today's the day the human race throw you off their planet. They won't even know they're doing it. I think, quite possibly, the word you're looking for right now is oops. Run! Guys, I mean us. Run. (The Silence is generating its electric shock. River starts shooting.) RORY: I can't get her out! AMY: Go. Go. RORY: We are not leaving without you. AMY: Look, will you just get your stupid face out of here. RIVER: Run! Into the Tardis, quickly. (The Doctor sonicks Amy free, and Rory helps her into the Tardis.) DOCTOR: Don't let them build to full power. RIVER: I know. There's a reason why I'm shooting, honey. What are you doing? DOCTOR: Helping. RIVER: You've got a screwdriver. Go build a cabinet. DOCTOR: That's really rude. RIVER: Learn how to drive. (The Doctor goes to the Tardis. River spins around and around, shooting all the time. Finally all the Silence lie dead.) RIVER: My old fellow didn't see that, did he? He gets ever so cross. RORY: So, what kind of doctor are you? (She shoots a Silence behind her without looking.) RIVER: Archaeology. Love a tomb. [Tardis] DOCTOR: You can let me fly it. RIVER: Yeah, or we could go where we're supposed to. AMY: What's the matter with you? RORY: You called me stupid. AMY: I always call you stupid. RORY: No, but my face. (He shows her the nanorecorder he is holding.) RORY: I wasn't sure who you were talking about. You know, me or AMY: Him? RORY: Well, you did say dropped out of the sky. AMY: It's a figure of speech, moron. (She kisses him.) RORY: Thanks. AMY: You're welcome. [Oval office] NIXON: So we're safe again. DOCTOR: Safe? No, of course you're not safe. There's about a billion other things out there just waiting to burn your whole world. But, if you want to pretend you're safe, just so you can sleep at night? Okay, you're safe. But you're not really. Canton. Until the next one, eh? CANTON: Looking forward to it. DOCTOR: Canton just wants to get married. Hell of a reason to kick him out of the FBI. NIXON: I'm sure something can be arranged. DOCTOR: I'm counting on you. NIXON: Er, Doctor. Canton here tells me you're, you're from the future. It hardly seems possible, but I was wondering DOCTOR: I should warn you I don't answer a lot of questions. NIXON: But I'm a President at the beginning of his time. Dare I ask. Will I be remembered? DOCTOR: Oh, Dicky. Tricky Dicky. They're never going to forget you. Say hi to David Frost for me. NIXON: David Frost? (The Tardis dematerialises.) NIXON: This person you want to marry. Black? CANTON: Yes. NIXON: Hmm. I know what people think of me, but perhaps I'm a little more liberal. CANTON: He is. NIXON: I think the Moon is far enough, for now, don't you, Mister Delaware? CANTON: I figured it might be. [Stormcage] DOCTOR: You could come with us. RIVER: I escape often enough, thank you. And I have a promise to live up to. You'll understand soon enough. DOCTOR: Okay. Up to you. See you next time. Call me. RIVER: What, that's it? What's the matter with you? DOCTOR: Have I forgotten something? RIVER: Oh, shut up. (River kisses the Doctor.) DOCTOR: Right. Okay. Interesting. RIVER: What's wrong? You're acting like we've never done that before. DOCTOR: We haven't. RIVER: We haven't? DOCTOR: Oh, look at the time. Must be off. But it was very nice. It was, it was good. It was er, unexpected. You know what they say. There's a first time for everything. (The Doctor goes into the Tardis.) RIVER: And a last time. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Rory, I'm going to need thermocouplings. The green ones and blue ones. RORY: Okay, hold on. (Rory goes down the stairs.) DOCTOR: So. AMY: So. DOCTOR: You're okay? AMY: Fine. Head's a bit weird. There's loads of stuff I can't quite remember. DOCTOR: After effect of the Silence. Natural enough. That's not what I was asking. You told me you were pregnant. AMY: Yes. DOCTOR: Why? AMY: Because I was. I mean, I thought I was. It turns out I wasn't. DOCTOR: No, why did you tell me? AMY: Because you're my friend. You're my best friend. DOCTOR: Hmm. Did you tell Rory? [Tardis lower deck] (Rory still has the nanorecorder.) AMY [OC]: No. DOCTOR [OC]: Amy, why tell me and not Rory? [Tardis] AMY: Why do you think? I travelled with you in this Tardis for so long. All that time. If I was pregnant for some of it, wouldn't it have had an effect? [Tardis lower deck] AMY [OC]: I don't want to tell Rory his baby might have three heads or, like, a timehead, or something. [Tardis] DOCTOR: What's a timehead? AMY: I don't know, but what if it had one? DOCTOR: A timehead. AMY: Shut up. [Tardis lower deck] AMY [OC]: Oi, stupid face. RORY: Er, yeah? [Tardis] RORY: Hello. AMY: I'm taking that away from you, if you're going to listen in all the time. RORY: Okay, that's a fair point. But you should've told me that you thought you were pregnant. I'm a nurse. I'm good with pregnancy. AMY: Not, as it turns out, that good. So please stop being stupid. RORY: Er, no, never. I'm never, ever, going to stop being stupid. DOCTOR: So, this little girl. It's all about her. Who was she? Or we could just go off and have some adventures. Anyone in the mood for adventures? Because I am. You only live once. (On the scanner is - Amelia Pond full body scan in progress. Pregnancy Positive. Negative. Positive. Negative. [New York alleyway] (Six months later. Night. A tramp is scavenging when a little girl comes out of the shadows, coughing.) TRAMP: Are you okay? Little girl, are you okay? GIRL: It's all right. It's quite all right. I'm dying. But I can fix that. It's easy, really. See? (Her skin glows with golden regeneration energy. She smiles, and the tramp runs.) [Spaceship] (A young woman is led in by an older woman. She speaks to a man wearing a tattered Confederate Army uniform.) IDRIS: Will it be me, Uncle? UNCLE: Yes, it's going to be you. I only wish I could go in your place, Idris. Nah, I don't, because it's really going to hurt. (An Ood with glowing green eyes appears behind Idris.) IDRIS: It's starting. What will happen? AUNTIE: Oh. Er, Nephew will drain your mind and your soul from your body and leave your body empty. (Idris goes up onto a platform with a bit of alien tech dangling around the place. The Ood holds Idris' head.) IDRIS: I'm scared. AUNTIE: I expect so, dear. But soon you'll have a new soul. There'll be a Time Lord coming. [Tardis] DOCTOR: And then we discovered it wasn't the Robot King after all, it was the real one. Fortunately, I was able to re-attach the head. RORY: Do you believe any of this stuff? AMY: I was there. DOCTOR: Oh, it's the warning lights. I'm getting rid of those. They never stop. RORY: Hey. You're still thinking about it, aren't you? AMY: Oh, shush. We saw him die. RORY: Yeah, two hundred years in the future. AMY: Yes, but it's still going to happen. (Rat tat a tat tat on the Tardis door.) AMY: What was that? DOCTOR: The door. It knocked. RORY: Right. We are in deep space. DOCTOR: Very, very deep. (Shave and a haircut, two bits.) DOCTOR: And somebody's knocking. (The Doctor opens the doors. A small glowing box is outside.) DOCTOR: Oh, come here. Come here, you scrumptious little beauty. (The box flies inside and ends up hitting the Doctor on the chest.) RORY: A box? AMY: Doctor, what is it? DOCTOR: I've got mail. Time Lord emergency messaging system. In an emergency, we'd wrap up thoughts in psychic containers and send them through time and space. Anyway, there's a living Time Lord still out there, and it's one of the good ones. RORY: You said there weren't any other Time Lords left. DOCTOR: There are no Time Lords left anywhere in the universe. But the universe isn't where we're going. See that snake? (The Ourobouros, the snake swallowing its own tail.) DOCTOR: The mark of the Corsair. Fantastic bloke. He had that snake as a tattoo in every regeneration. Didn't feel like himself unless he had the tattoo. Or herself, a couple of times. Ooo, she was a bad girl. (Things go Bang!) RORY: Oh, what is happening? DOCTOR: We're leaving the universe. AMY: How can you leave the universe? DOCTOR: With enormous difficulty. Right now I'm burning up Tardis rooms to give us some welly. Goodbye, swimming pool. Goodbye, scullery. Sayonara, squash court seven. (Whoosh, thump, crash, then all is still and silent.) AMY: Okay, okay. Where are we? DOCTOR: Outside the universe, where we've never, ever been. (The lights go out in the Tardis.) RORY: Is that meant to be happening? DOCTOR: The power, it's draining. Everything's draining. But it can't. That's, that's impossible. RORY: What is that? DOCTOR: It's as if the Matrix, the soul of the Tardis, has just vanished. Where would it go? (Idris gasps and sits up again. A little golden energy comes out of her mouth, to the accompaniment of the Tardis sound.) [Junkyard] (To the rear of a large crashed spaceship.) AMY: So what kind of trouble's your friend in? DOCTOR: He was in a bind. A bit of a pickle. Sort of distressed. AMY: Ah, you can't just say you don't know. RORY: But what is this place? The scrap yard at the end of the universe? DOCTOR: Not end of, outside of. RORY: How we can we be outside the universe? The universe is everything. DOCTOR: Imagine a great big soap bubble with one of those tiny little bubbles on the outside. RORY: Okay. DOCTOR: Well, it's nothing like that. Completely drained. Look at her. AMY: Wait. So we're in a tiny bubble universe, sticking to the side of the bigger bubble universe? DOCTOR: Yeah. No. But if it helps, yes. This place is full of rift energy. She'll probably refuel just by being here. Now, this place. What do we think, eh? Gravity's almost Earth normal, air's breathable, but it smells like AMY: Armpits. DOCTOR: Armpits. RORY: What about all this stuff? Where did this come from? DOCTOR: Well, there's a rift. Now and then stuff gets sucked through it. Not a bubble, a plughole. The universe has a plughole and we've just fallen down it. IDRIS: Thief! Thief! You're my thief! AUNTIE: She's dangerous. Guard yourselves. (Idris runs up to the Doctor.) IDRIS: Look at you. Goodbye. No, not goodbye, what's the other one? (Idris kisses the Doctor.) UNCLE: Watch out. Careful. Keep back from her. Welcome, strangers. Lovely. Sorry about the mad person. DOCTOR: Why am I a thief? What have I stolen? IDRIS: Me. You're going to steal me. No, you have stolen me. You are stealing me. Oh tenses are difficult, aren't they? AUNTIE: Oh. Oh, we are sorry, my dove. She's off her head. They call me Auntie. UNCLE: And I'm Uncle. I'm everybody's Uncle. Just keep back from this one. She bites! IDRIS: Do I? Excellent. (Idris bites the Doctor's ear.) DOCTOR: Ow! Ow! IDRIS: Biting's excellent. It's like kissing, only there's a winner. UNCLE: So sorry. She's doolally. IDRIS: No, I'm not doolally. I'm, I'm. It's on the tip of my tongue. I've just had a new idea about kissing. Come here, you. AUNTIE: No, Idris, no. IDRIS: Oh, but now you're angry. No, you're not. You will be angry. The little boxes will make you angry. DOCTOR: Sorry? The little what? Boxes? IDRIS: Oh, ho, no. Your chin is hilarious. It means the smell of dust after rain. RORY: What does? IDRIS: Petrichor. RORY: But I didn't ask. IDRIS: Not yet. But you will. AUNTIE: No, no, Idris. I think you should have a rest. IDRIS: Rest. Yes, yes. Good idea. I'll just see if there's an off switch. (Idris collapses.) UNCLE: Is that it? She dead now. So sad. RORY: No, she's still breathing. UNCLE: Nephew, take Idris somewhere she can not bite people. (Nephew is the Ood.) DOCTOR: Oh, hello! AMY: Doctor, what is that? DOCTOR: Oh, no, it's all right. It's an Ood. Oods are good. Love an Ood. Hello, Ood. Can't you talk? Oh, I see. It's damaged. May I? It might just be on the wrong frequency. AUNTIE: Nephew was broken when he came here. Why, he was half dead. House repaired him. House repaired all of us. CORSAIR [OC]: If you are receiving this message, please help me. Send a signal to the High Council of the Time Lords on Gallifrey. Tell them that I am still alive. I don't know where I am. I'm on some rock-like planet. (Behind the message is a lot of other voices trying to speak at the same time.) RORY: What was that? Was that him? DOCTOR: No, no. It's picking up something else. But that's, that's not possible. That's, that's. Who else is here? Tell me. Show me. Show me. AUNTIE: Just what you see. Just the four of us, and the House. Nephew, will you take Idris somewhere safe where she can't hurt nobody? DOCTOR: The House? What's the House? AUNTIE: House is all around you, my sweets. You are standing on him. This is the House. This world. Would you like to meet him? RORY: Meet him? DOCTOR: I'd love to. UNCLE: This way. Come, please. Come. AMY: What's wrong? What were those voices? DOCTOR: Time Lords. It's not just the Corsair. Somewhere close by there are lots and lots of Time Lords. [Brig] (Idris is in a barred chamber. Nephew stands guard.) IDRIS: I'm, I'm. Big word, sad word. Why is that word so sad? No. Will be sad. Will be sad. [Spaceship] UNCLE: Come. Come, come. You can see the House and he can look at you, and he (They lead the Doctor to the device where Idris had her soul drained and replaced. The Doctor looks down the grating on the floor.) DOCTOR: I see. This asteroid is sentient. AUNTIE: We walk on his back, breathe his air, eat his food. AMY: Smell its armpits. (House speaks through Uncle and Auntie as if they are marionettes. It is a nice, refined voice.) HOUSE [OC]: And do my will. You are most welcome, travellers. AMY: Doctor, that voice. That's the asteroid talking? DOCTOR: Yes. So you're like a sea urchin. Hard outer surface, that's the planet we're walking on. Big, squashy, oogly thing inside, that's you. HOUSE [OC]: That is correct, Time Lord. DOCTOR: Ah. So you've met Time Lords before? HOUSE [OC]: Many travellers have come through the rift, like Auntie and Uncle and Nephew. I repair them when they break. DOCTOR: So there are Time Lords here, then? HOUSE [OC]: Not any more, but there have been many Tardises on my back in days gone by. DOCTOR: Well, there won't be any more after us. Last Time Lord. Last Tardis. HOUSE [OC]: A pity. Your people were so kind. Be here in safety, Doctor. Rest, feed, if you will. RORY: We're not actually going to stay here, are we? DOCTOR: Well, it seems like a friendly planet. Literally. Mind if we poke around a bit? AUNTIE: You can look all you want. Go. Look. (to Amy) House loves you. DOCTOR: Come on then, gang. We're just going to, er, see the sights. [Brig] IDRIS: Are there a see zero that ito emo we. Ah! What was that? Do fish have fingers? Like a nine year old trying to rebuild a motorbike. What am I saying? Why am I saying that? Thief? Where's my thief? Thief! [Corridor] IDRIS [OC]: Thief! DOCTOR: Shush, shush, shush. RORY: So, as soon as the Tardis is refuelled, we go, yeah? DOCTOR: No. There are Time Lords here. I heard them and they need me. AMY: You told me about your people, and you told me what you did. DOCTOR: Yes, yes, but if they're like the Corsair, they're good one and I can save them. AMY: And then tell them you destroyed the others? DOCTOR: I can explain. Tell them why I had to. AMY: You want to be forgiven. DOCTOR: Don't we all? AMY: What do you need from me? DOCTOR: My screwdriver. I left it in the Tardis. It's in my jacket. RORY: You're wearing your jacket. DOCTOR: My other jacket. RORY: You have two of those? AMY: Okay, I'll get it. But Doctor, listen to me. Don't get emotional because that's when you make mistakes. (She throws him her mobile phone.)  DOCTOR: Yes, boss. AMY: I'll call you from the Tardis. Rory, look after him. DOCTOR: Rory, look after her. RORY: Yeah. [Junkyard] AMY: I told you to look after him. RORY: He'll be fine. He's a Time Lord. AMY: It's just what they're called. It doesn't mean he actually knows what he's doing. (They go into the Tardis, which is then surrounded by neon green gas.) [Tardis] (Amy phones the Doctor.) AMY: Hey, we're here. Screwdriver's in your jacket, yeah? [Corridor] DOCTOR: Yeah, it's around somewhere. Have a good look. (He has it in his hand, and uses it to lock the Tardis door remotely.) [Tardis] AMY: Did you do that? RORY: I didn't do anything. Right. Jacket. [Corridor] DOCTOR: Come on. Where are you? Now, where are you all? Where are you? (He pulls back a curtain to a small alcove.) DOCTOR: Well, they can't all be in here. (There are indistinct voices nearby. He opens a small cupboard and finds at least 10 of those message boxes all chattering away.) MAN [OC]: Please do you read me. WOMAN [OC]: Structural integrity failure. Damage to dimensional stabiliser. MAN 2: If you can hear, come and help. (Uncle and Auntie come up behind him.) DOCTOR: Just admiring your Time Lord distress signal collection. Nice job. Brilliant job. Really thought I had some friends here, but this is what the Ood translator picked up. Cries for help from the long dead. How many Time Lords have you lured here the way you lured me, and what happened to them all? AUNTIE: House, House is kind and he is wise. DOCTOR: House repairs you when you break. Yes, I know. But how does he mend you? You've got the eyes of a twenty year old. UNCLE: Thank you. DOCTOR: No. Oh, no, I mean it literally. Your eyes are thirty years younger than the rest of you. Your ears don't match, your right arm is two inches longer than you're left, and how's your dancing? Because you've got two left feet. Patchwork people. You've been repaired and patched up so often, I doubt there's anything left of what used to be you. I had an umbrella like you once. (Auntie's forearm has a snake tattoo.) AUNTIE: Oh, now, it's been a great arm for me, this. DOCTOR: Corsair. AUNTIE: He was a strapping big bloke, wasn't he, Uncle? UNCLE: Big fellow. AUNTIE: I got the arm and then Uncle got the spine and the kidneys. UNCLE: Kidneys. DOCTOR: You gave me hope, and then you took it away. That's enough to make anyone dangerous. God knows what it will do to me. Basically, run! UNCLE: Poor old Time Lord. Too late. House is too clever. (Auntie and Uncle leave. The phone rings.) [Tardis] AMY: No sonic screwdriver. Also the doors seemed to have locked behind us. Rory thinks there's a perfectly innocent explanation, but I think you lied to us. [Corridor] DOCTOR: Time Lord stuff. Needed you out of the way. [Tardis] AMY: What, we're not good enough [Corridor] AMY [OC]: For your smart new friends? DOCTOR: The boxes will make you angry. How could she know? [Tardis] AMY: Doctor, what are you talking about? [Corridor] DOCTOR: Stay put. Stay exactly where you are. [Tardis] We don't have much choice. [Brig] DOCTOR: How did you know about the boxes? You said they'd make me angry. How did you know? IDRIS: Ah, it's my thief. DOCTOR: Who are you? IDRIS: It's about time. [Tardis] (The gas is working its way up the side of the Tardis.) AMY: He's not trusting us and he's being emotional. This is bad. This is very, very bad. RORY: Yeah, I think it probably is. AMY: Sometimes I hate being right. [Brig] DOCTOR: I don't understand. Who are you? IDRIS: Do you not know me? Just because they put me in here? DOCTOR: They said you were dangerous. IDRIS: Not the cage, stupid. In here. They put me in here. I'm the. Oh, what do you call me? We travel. I go (Tardis sound) DOCTOR: The Tardis? IDRIS: Time And Relative Dimension In Space. Yes, that's it. Names are funny. It's me. I'm the Tardis. DOCTOR: No, you're not. You're a bitey, mad lady. The Tardis is up and downy stuff in a big blue box. IDRIS: Yes, that's me. A Type Forty Tardis. I was already a museum piece when you were young, and the first time you touched my console you said DOCTOR: I said you were the most beautiful thing I had ever known. IDRIS: And then you stole me. And I stole you. DOCTOR: I borrowed you. IDRIS: Borrowing implies the intention to return the thing that was taken. What makes you think I would ever give you back? DOCTOR: You're the Tardis? IDRIS: Yes. DOCTOR: My Tardis? IDRIS: My Doctor. Oh. We have now reached the point in the conversation where you open the lock. (The Doctor sonicks open the cage.) IDRIS: Are all people like this? DOCTOR: Like what? IDRIS: So much bigger on the inside. I'm, oh, what is that word? It's so big, so complicated. It's so sad. DOCTOR: But why? Why pull the living soul from a Tardis and pop it in a tiny human head? What does it want you for? IDRIS: Oh, it doesn't want me. DOCTOR: How do you know? IDRIS: House eats Tardises. DOCTOR: House what? What do you mean? IDRIS: I don't know. It's something I heard you say. DOCTOR: When? IDRIS: In the future. DOCTOR: House eats Tardises? IDRIS: There you go. What are fish fingers? DOCTOR: When do I say that? IDRIS: Any second. DOCTOR: Of course. House feeds on rift energy and Tardises are bursting with it. And not raw, all lovely and cooked. Processed food. Mmm, fish fingers. IDRIS: Do fish have fingers? DOCTOR: But you can't eat a Tardis. it would destroy you. Unless, unless IDRIS: Unless you deleted the Tardis Matrix first. DOCTOR: So it deleted you. IDRIS: But House can't just delete a Tardis' consciousness. That would blow a hole in the universe. So he pulls out the Matrix, sticks it in a living receptacle and then it feeds off the remaining Artron energy. Oh. You were about to say all that. I don't suppose you have to now. DOCTOR: I sent Amy and Rory in there. They'll be eaten. Amy! Amy? Rory? Get the hell out of there. [Tardis] "AMY; Doctor, something's wrong." [Corridor] DOCTOR: It's House. He's after the Tardis. Just get out both of you. [Tardis] AMY: We can't. You locked the door, remember? [Junkyard] DOCTOR: But I've unlocked it. [Tardis] AMY: You stupid well haven't. (The Cloister Bell starts to toll and a wind blows through.) AMY: Doctor, I don't like this. [Junkyard] (The Doctor tries the screwdriver again, and snaps his fingers.) DOCTOR: Open! [Tardis] AMY: Doctor? [Junkyard] DOCTOR: Open this door! [Tardis] AMY: Rory, hold my hand. [Junkyard] DOCTOR: Amy. Rory! (The Tardis dematerialises. The Doctor tries the phone again.) DOCTOR: Amy? Amy, can you hear me? (no) Okay, right. I don't, I really don't know what to do. That's a new feeling. [Tardis] (The Tardis is hurtling towards a Rift.) RORY: Listen, whatever happens, at least we're together. And we're in the Tardis, so we're safe. AMY: Yeah. HOUSE [OC]: You're half right. I mean, you are in the Tardis. What a great adventure. I should have done this half a million years ago. So, Amy, Rory, why shouldn't I just kill you now? [Spaceship] DOCTOR: It's gone. IDRIS: Eaten? DOCTOR: No, it left. Not eaten, hi-jacked. But why? AUNTIE: It's time for us both to go, and keep together. DOCTOR: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Go? What do you mean, go? Where are you going? AUNTIE: Well, we're dying, my love. It's time for Auntie and Uncle to pop off. UNCLE: I'm against it. AUNTIE: It's your fault, isn't it, sweets? Because you told House it was the last Tardis. House can't feed on them if there's none more coming, can he? UNCLE: So now he's off to your universe to find more Tardises. DOCTOR: It won't. AUNTIE: Oh, it'll think of something. (Auntie collapses.) UNCLE: Actually, I feel fine. (Then he drops.) DOCTOR: Not dead. You can't just die! IDRIS: We need to go to where I landed, Doctor, quickly. DOCTOR: Why? IDRIS: Because we are there in three minutes. We need to go now. Ow. Roughly how long do these bodies last? DOCTOR: You're dying. IDRIS: Yes, of course I'm dying. I don't belong in a flesh body. I could blow the casing in no time. No, stop it. Don't get emotional. Hmm. That's what the orangey girl says. You're the Doctor. Focus. DOCTOR: On what? How? I'm a madman with a box, without a box. I'm stuck down the plughole at the end of the universe on a stupid old junkyard. Ooo. IDRIS: Ooo what? DOCTOR: I'm not. IDRIS: Not what? DOCTOR: Because it's not a junkyard. Don't you see? It's not a junkyard. IDRIS: What is it then? DOCTOR: It's a Tardis junkyard. Come on! Oh, sorry. Do you have a name? IDRIS: Seven hundred years, finally he asks. DOCTOR: But what do I call you? IDRIS: I think you call me Sexy. DOCTOR: Only when we're alone. IDRIS: We are alone. DOCTOR: Oh. Come on then, Sexy. [House] HOUSE [OC]: Corridors. I have corridors. So much to learn about my new home. But you haven't answered my question, children. RORY: Er, question? HOUSE [OC]: You remember. Tell me why I shouldn't just kill you both now? AMY: Well, because. Rory, why? RORY: Because killing us quickly wouldn't be any fun. And you need fun, don't you? That's what Uncle and Auntie were for, wasn't it? Someone to make suffer. I had a PE teacher just like you. You need to be entertained, and killing us quickly wouldn't be entertainment. HOUSE [OC]: So entertain me. Run. [Junkyard] DOCTOR: A valley of half eaten Tardises. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? IDRIS: I'm thinking that all of my sisters are dead. That they were devoured, and that we are looking at their corpses. DOCTOR: Ah. Sorry. No, I wasn't thinking that. IDRIS: No. You were thinking you could build a working Tardis console out of broken remnants of a hundred different models. And you don't care that it's impossible. DOCTOR: It's not impossible as long as we're alive. Rory and Amy need me. So yeah, we're going to build a Tardis. [Tardis corridor] HOUSE [OC]: So are we having fun yet? I'm rather enjoying the sensation of having you running around inside me. (Amy nearly falls down a perpendicular corridor.) HOUSE [OC]: I've turned off the corridor anti-gravs, so do be careful. AMY: Come on. (They edge their way around the hole and keep running.) [Junkyard] IDRIS: Bond the tube directly into the Tachyon Diverter. DOCTOR: Yes, yes, I have actually rebuilt a Tardis before, you know. I know what I'm doing. IDRIS: You're like a nine year old trying to rebuild a motorbike in his bedroom. And you never read the instructions. DOCTOR: I always read the instructions. IDRIS: There's a sign on my front door. You have been walking past it for seven hundred years. What does it say? DOCTOR: That's not instructions. IDRIS: There's an instruction at the bottom. What does it say? DOCTOR: Pull to open. IDRIS: Yes. And what do you do? DOCTOR: I push. IDRIS: Every single time. Seven hundred years. Police Box doors open out the way. DOCTOR: I think I have earned the right to open my front doors any way I want. IDRIS: Your front doors? Have you any idea how childish that sounds? DOCTOR: You are not my mother. IDRIS: And you are not my child. DOCTOR: You know, since we're talking with mouths, not really an opportunity that comes along very often, I just want to say, you know, you have never been very reliable. IDRIS: And you have? DOCTOR: You didn't always take me where I wanted to go. IDRIS: No, but I always took you where you needed to go. DOCTOR: You did. Look at us talking. Wouldn't it be amazing if we could always talk, even when you're stuck inside the box? IDRIS: You know I'm not constructed that way. I exist across all space and time, and you talk and run around and bring home strays. (Idris buckles at the knees. The Doctor catches her.) DOCTOR: You okay? IDRIS: One of the kidneys has already failed. It doesn't matter. We need to finish assembling the console. DOCTOR: Using a console without a proper shell. It's not going to be safe. IDRIS: This body has about eighteen minutes left to live. The universe we're in will reach Absolute Zero in three hours. Safe is relative. DOCTOR: Then we need to get a move on. Eh, old girl? [Tardis corridor] (A bulkhead slams shut, separating Amy and Rory.) RORY: No! Amy! AMY: No! RORY: Amy. RORY [OC]: Amy? Amy? Amy? (Rory is sitting at the other end of the corridor.) AMY: Rory? RORY: Where have you been? AMY: I stepped through that door and it came down here. RORY: But you've been hours. AMY: No, I haven't. It's House, and it's messing with the Tardis. Come on, back this way. (And a bulkhead slams shut, separating them again.) RORY: No! AMY: No! Oh. [Junkyard] (The console is almost complete.) IDRIS: You'll need to install the time rotor. (He does.) DOCTOR: How is this going to make it through the rift? How? We're almost done. Thrust diffuser? Er, retroscope. Blue thingy. (Idris examines a wire coat hanger.) IDRIS: Do you ever wonder why I chose you all those years ago? DOCTOR: I chose you. You were unlocked. IDRIS: Of course I was. I wanted to see the universe, so I stole a Time Lord and I ran away. And you were the only one mad enough. DOCTOR: Right. Perfect. Look at that. What could possibly go wrong? (A piece falls off the console.) DOCTOR: That's fine. That always happens. No, hang on. Wait. (He gets a couple of pieces of red rope with hooks on the ends.) [Tardis corridor] (An old bearded man is crouching by a stanchion.) RORY: Amy? AMY: Oh, my God. Rory? RORY: You left me. How could you do that? How could you leave me? AMY: How long have you been here? RORY: Two thousand years I waited for you. You did it to me again. AMY: I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. Rory, what are you doing? RORY: They come for me at night. Every single night, they come for me and they hurt me. Amy, they hurt me over and over and over and over AMY: Rory. RORY: How could you leave me? How could you do that to me? (Amy backs away, and a bulkhead shuts, separating them.) [Junkyard] (The ropes are safety lines.) DOCTOR: Right. Okay, let's go. Follow that Tardis. (Nothing happens.) DOCTOR: Oh no, come on. There's rift energy everywhere. You can do it. Okay, diverting all power to thrust. Let's be having you. (Bang, sparks.) DOCTOR: No, no, no, no. IDRIS: What's wrong? DOCTOR: It can't hold the charge. It can't even start. There's no power. I've got nothing. IDRIS: Oh, my beautiful idiot. You have what you've always had. You've got me. (Idris kisses her finger, and transfers golden energy to the console. They dematerialise.) [Tardis corridor] (Hate Amy Kill Amy Die Amy is written on the wall in blood. A decayed corpse is lying around the corner.) AMY: No! No! Rory, I'm so, so sorry. RORY: Amy? (The corpse and graffiti disappear.) RORY: It's messing with our heads. Come on, run. [Rift] DOCTOR: Whoo hoo! IDRIS: We've locked on to them. They'll have to lower the shields when I'm close enough to phase inside. DOCTOR: Can you get a message to Amy? The telepathic circuits are online. IDRIS: Which one's Amy? The pretty one? [Ladder] (Rory gets a headache.) RORY: Argh. AMY: Rory, what's wrong? RORY: It's like I'm getting a message. IDRIS: Hello, Pretty. RORY: What the hell is that? DOCTOR: Don't worry. Telepathic messaging. No, that's Rory. IDRIS: You have to go to the old control room. I'm putting the route in your head. When you get there use the purple slider on the nearest panel to lower the shields. DOCTOR: The pretty one? IDRIS: You'll have about twelve seconds before the room goes into phase with the invading Matrix. I'll send you the pass key when you get there. Good luck. AMY: What was that? RORY: It was that woman. That mad woman and the Doctor. AMY: The Doctor? RORY: We have to keep going. [Rift] DOCTOR: How's he going to be able to take down the shields anyway? The House is in the control room. IDRIS: I directed him to one of the old control rooms. DOCTOR: There aren't any old control rooms. They were all deleted or remodelled. IDRIS: I archive them, for neatness. I've got about thirty now. DOCTOR: But I've only changed the desktop, what, a dozen times? IDRIS: So far, yes. DOCTOR: You can't archive something that hasn't happened yet. IDRIS: You can't. [Tardis corridor] AMY: What happened to the lights? RORY: The lights are fine. Oh, it's messing with our heads again. Okay, stay there a second. AMY: What is it? What? RORY: Just hang on. AMY: Don't leave me. I can hardly see, you idiot. (Rory goes round the corner into a bright light.) RORY [OC]: Argh. AMY: Rory? Rory? RORY [OC]: It's okay, I'm fine. Come towards my voice. AMY: What happened? Where are you? RORY [OC]: I just banged my head. Just keep coming. Reach out your hand. (Amy walks past Rory lying unconscious on the floor and touches the Ood's tentacles. She screams, the lights come up and Rory comes to her.) RORY: This way. Come on, run! [Rift] DOCTOR: Keep going. You're doing it, you sexy thing. IDRIS: See, you do call me that. Is it my name? DOCTOR: You bet it's your name. IDRIS: Whoo! [Tardis corridor] AMY: I can see now, Rory. I can see. RORY: It was the Ood thing, the Nephew and it's still coming. AMY: I know. So where is this place? (They come to a dead end.) RORY: This is where she told me to go. She said she'd send me the pass key. Ow! IDRIS + RORY: Crimson. Eleven. Delight. Petrichor. AMY: Petrichor? RORY: What do I do? Do I say it? Crimson. Eleven. Delight. Petrichor. I said it. AMY: Petrichor. Petrichor. RORY: I said it. AMY: Petrichor. She told you what it meant. The smell of wet dust, remember? So, oh, it's the meaning, not the word. RORY: The meaning of what? AMY: The Tardis interface is telepathic. You don't say it, you think it. (The Ood is at the far end of the corridor.) RORY: It's coming. AMY: Quiet. Crimson. Eleven. Delight. The smell of dust after rain. Crimson, eleven, delight, the smell of dust after rain. Crimson, eleven, delight, the smell of dust after rain. (Amy pictures a flat, a birthday cake, her wedding, a raindrop falling into dust. The door opens.) [Tardis] AMY: What is this place? Another control room? RORY: Right, shields. Got it. [Rift] IDRIS: They did it. Shields down. [Tardis] HOUSE [OC]: How did you find this place? It's not on my internal schematics. I had hoped you two could join Nephew as my servants. But you two are nothing but trouble. Nephew, kill them. (Rory gets another painful telepathic message.) IDRIS: We're coming through. Get out of the way or you'll be atomised. RORY: Where are you coming through? IDRIS: I don't know. RORY: Oh, great. Thanks. [Rift] (The console is closing on the Tardis.) IDRIS: It's not going to hold. [Tardis] RORY: Hold on. (The console materialises in a shower of sparks.) AMY: Doctor. IDRIS: Not good. Not good at all. How do you walk around in these things? DOCTOR: We're not quite there yet. Just hold on. Amy, this is, well, she's my Tardis. Except she's a woman. She's a woman, and she's my Tardis. AMY: She's the Tardis? DOCTOR: And she's a woman. She's a woman and she's the Tardis. AMY: Did you wish really hard? DOCTOR: Shut up. Not like that. IDRIS: Hello. I'm Sexy. DOCTOR: Oh. Still shut up. HOUSE [OC]: The environment has been breached. Nephew, kill them all. RORY: Where's Nephew? AMY: He was standing right where you materialised. DOCTOR: Ah. Well, he must have been redistributed. RORY: Meaning what? DOCTOR: You're breathing him. AMY: Oh, come on. DOCTOR: Another Ood I failed to save. HOUSE [OC]: Doctor. I did not expect you. DOCTOR: Well, that's me all over, isn't it? Lovely old unexpected me. HOUSE [OC]: The big question is, now you're here, how to dispose of you? I could play with gravity. (They get pulled to the floor for a few seconds.) HOUSE [OC]: Or I could evacuate the air from this room and watch you choke. DOCTOR: You really don't want to do that. HOUSE [OC]: Why shouldn't I just kill you now? DOCTOR: Because then I won't be able to help you. Listen to your engines. Just listen to them. You don't have the thrust and you know it. Right now I'm your only hope for getting out of your little bubble through the rift, and into my universe. And mine's the one with the food in. IDRIS: Water, water. DOCTOR: You just have to promise not to kill us. That's all, just promise. "AMY; You can't be serious." DOCTOR: I'm very serious. I'm sure it's an entity of its word. RORY: Doctor, she's burning up. She's asking for water. DOCTOR: Hey. Hang in there, old girl. Not long now. It'll be over soon. IDRIS: I always liked it when you call me old girl. HOUSE [OC]: You want me to give my word? Easy. I promise. DOCTOR: Fine. Okay. I trust you. Just delete, oh er, thirty percent of the Tardis rooms, you'll free up thrust enough to make it through. Activate subroutine Sigma nine. HOUSE [OC]: Why would you tell me this? DOCTOR: Because we want to get back to our universe as badly as you do. And I'm nice. HOUSE [OC]: Yes. I can delete rooms. And I can also rid myself of vermin if I delete this room first. Thank you, Doctor. Very helpful. Goodbye, Time Lord. Goodbye, little humans. Goodbye, Idris. (Bright light. The Tardis returns to normal space with an empty console room. Then the four of them appear.) DOCTOR: Yes. I mean, you could do that, but it just won't work. Hardwired fail safe. Living things from rooms that are deleted are automatically deposited in the main control room. But thanks for the lift. HOUSE [OC]: We are in your universe now, Doctor. Why should it matter to me in which room you die? I can kill you just as easily here as anywhere. Fear me. I've killed hundreds of Time Lords. DOCTOR: Fear me. I've killed all of them. (Idris is still telepathically telling Rory stuff.) RORY: I don't understand. There isn't a forest in here. DOCTOR: Yeah, you're right. You've completely won. Oh, you can kill us in oodles of really inventive ways, but before you do kill us allow me and friends Amy and Rory to congratulate you on being an absolutely worthy opponent. AMY: Congratulations. DOCTOR: Yep, you've defeated us. Me and my lovely friends here, and last but definitely not least, the Tardis Matrix herself, a living consciousness you ripped out of this very control room and locked up into a human body. And look at her. RORY: Doctor, she's stopped breathing. HOUSE [OC]: Enough. That is enough. DOCTOR: No. It's never enough. You forced the Tardis into a body so she'd burn out safely a very long way away from this control room. A flesh body can't hold the Tardis Matrix and live. Look at her body, House. HOUSE [OC]: And you think I should mourn her? DOCTOR: No. I think you should be very, very careful about what you let back into this control room. You took her from her home. But now she's back in the box again, and she's free. (The golden energy streams from Idris into the console then out again and through the Tardis.) HOUSE [OC]: No. Doctor, stop this. Argh! Stop this now. DOCTOR: Oh, look at my girl. Look at her go. Bigger on the inside. You see, House? HOUSE [OC]: Make her stop. DOCTOR: That's your problem. Size of a planet, but inside you are just so small. HOUSE [OC]: Make it stop. DOCTOR: Finish him off, girl. HOUSE [OC]: Ow. Don't do this! Argh! (Golden Idris is standing on the stairs.) IDRIS: Doctor, are you there? It's so very dark in here. DOCTOR: I'm here. IDRIS: I've been looking for a word. A big, complicated word, but so sad. I've found it now. DOCTOR: What word? IDRIS: Alive. I'm alive. DOCTOR: Alive isn't sad. IDRIS: It's sad when it's over. I'll always be here, but this is when we talked, and now even that has come to an end. There's something I didn't get to say to you. DOCTOR: Goodbye? IDRIS: No. I just wanted to say hello. Hello, Doctor. It's so very, very nice to meet you. DOCTOR: Please. I don't want you to. Please. (Idris dematerialises.) DOCTOR: Where? (Later, the Doctor is doing some work below the console.) RORY: How's it going under there? DOCTOR: Just putting a firewall around the Matrix. Almost done. AMY: Are you going to make her talk again? DOCTOR: I can't. RORY: Why not? AMY: Spacey wacey, isn't it? DOCTOR: Well, actually, it's because the Time Lords discovered that if you take an eleventh dimensional matrix and fold it into a mechanical then. Yes, it's spacey wacey. RORY: Sorry. At the end, she was talking. She kept repeating something. I don't know what it meant. DOCTOR: What did she say? RORY: The only water in the forest is the river. She said we'd need to know that someday. It doesn't make sense, does it? DOCTOR: Not yet. You okay? RORY: No. I watched her die. I shouldn't let it get to me, but it still does. I'm a nurse. DOCTOR: Letting it get to you. You know what that's called? Being alive. Best thing there is. Being alive right now, that's all that counts. Nearly finished. Two more minutes, then we're off. The Eye of Orion's restful, if you like restful. I can never really get the hang of restful. What do you think, dear? Where shall we take the kids this time? AMY: Look at you pair. It's always you and her, isn't it, long after the rest of us have gone. A boy and his box, off to see the universe. DOCTOR: Well, you say that as if it's a bad thing. But honestly, it's the best thing there is. The House deleted all the bedrooms. I should probably make you two a new bedroom. You'd like that, wouldn't you? AMY: Okay. Er, Doctor, this time could we lose the bunk beds? DOCTOR: No. Bunk beds are cool. A bed with a ladder. You can't beat that. It's your room. Out those stairs, keep walking till you find it. Off you pop. RORY: Doctor, do you have a room? (Amy pulls Rory away. Later, the Doctor's work is finished.) DOCTOR: Are you there? Can you hear me? Oh, I'm a silly old. Okay. The Eye of Orion, or wherever we need to go. (Levers move on their own.) DOCTOR: Ha ha! Whoo hoo. [George's bedroom] (Night time at a large block of flats. The residents are making their way home for the night. An old woman struggles to get her shopping trolley up the steps to the lift. A little boy in his pajamas can hear the noise it makes as it travels in its shaft next to his bedroom wall) CLAIRE: Bed. GEORGE: But Mum CLAIRE: George, I won't tell you again. Get into bed. I'm going to be late for work. It's just the lift, love. How many more times? GEORGE: Don't like it. (Mum Claire is a nurse.) CLAIRE: Well, what do we do with the things we don't like? We BOTH: Put them in the cupboard. GEORGE: The thing. You have to do the thing, Mum. (She switches his bedroom light on and off four times.) GEORGE: Five times. It has to be five times. (George closes his eyes and prays.) GEORGE: Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. CLAIRE: All right now? Come on, George. There's nothing to be scared of. Night, night then, love. [Living room] ALEX: How is he? CLAIRE: He's in bed at least. (George uses a torch to light up his room and create scary shadows.) ALEX: I'm worried about him. Why's he terrified all the time? CLAIRE: He needs help. ALEX: He's got us. CLAIRE: He needs a doctor. GEORGE [OC]: Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. [Tardis] (The Doctor gets a message on his psychic paper.) DOCTOR: Please save me from the monsters. Haven't done this in a while. AMY: Haven't done what? What are you doing? DOCTOR: Making a house call. [Garage block] (The Tardis materialises by a big puddle.) RORY: No offence, Doctor DOCTOR: Meaning the opposite. RORY: But we could get a bus somewhere like this. DOCTOR: The exact opposite. AMY: Well, I suppose it can't all be planets and history and stuff, Rory. DOCTOR: Yes, it can. Course it can. Planets and history and stuff. That's what we do. But not today. No. Today, we're answering a cry for help from the scariest place in the universe. A child's bedroom. [By the lift] (George can hear the squeak of Mrs Rossiter's shopping trolley, and her asthmatic breathing as she goes past his window.) RORY: Please save me from the monsters? Who sent that? DOCTOR: That's what we're here to find out. AMY: Sounds like something a kid would say. DOCTOR: Exactly. A scared kid. A very scared kid. So scared that somehow its cry for help got through to us in the Tardis. AMY: Yeah, but you've traced it here. DOCTOR: Exactly. Ah. Going up. [Living room] (Alex is slumped on the settee looking at family photographs rather than watching the box. Sounds like the One Show or something equally inane.) TELEVISION: Now, did you know there that there are twice as many pets as people here in the UK? Now that's a lot of animals and we want to know how clever they are. Now, if you were watching BBC1 on Saturday night, you will have seen Rolf Harris and Kate Humble (George is still scanning his room with the torch, getting more and more frightened.) [Block of flats] (The trio are knocking on a doors. A little girl answers the one Amy is at, while the Doctor gets Mrs Rossiter.) AMY: Hi. DOCTOR: Hello. (And Rory gets a grumpy man.) AMY: Are your mummy and daddy in, or is it just you? (The door opens wider to reveal twin girls.) AMY: Okay. MRS ROSSITER: Is it about the bins? DOCTOR: Pardon? RORY: Community support. Just checking up on community-based things. (The twins mother speaks to Amy.) JULIE: Can I help you? AMY: Hi. Er, yeah. No, sorry. I was just wondering if you've had any bother around here? RORY: Is everything okay? MRS ROSSITER: The bins. I can't be expected to get down all them stairs. I need new knees. JULIE: Bother? What do you mean? AMY: Well, I mean RORY: Are your neighbours nice? Do you get on well? JULIE: He didn't send you, did he? AMY: Who? PURCELL: Jim Purcell. Course we get on well. I'm their landlord. They love me, don't they? RORY: You're the landlord? DOCTOR: Not the bins, no, Miss? MRS ROSSITER: Mrs Rossiter. PURCELL: I thought you'd know that, being from community support. RORY: Yeah. Yes. Yes, of course. Sorry. MRS ROSSITER: I've already got a new hip. I'll be able to manage when I get the knees. Up and down them stairs like Sherpa Tensing, then. DOCTOR: Can I come in? (Purcell's dog snaps at Rory.) RORY: Oh. MRS ROSSITER: Course not. You could be anyone. DOCTOR: I could be, but I'm not. RORY: Or maybe it's best if I come back another time. DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. (Three doors are slammed in three faces. George looks out through his window as Rory and Amy walk along the landing.) AMY: We've got to find that kid. RORY: Maybe we should let the monsters gobble him up. (Across the way, the Doctor spots George.) [By the lift] AMY: Hey. Any luck? DOCTOR: Three old ladies, a traffic warden from Croatia and a man with ten cats. RORY: What are we actually looking for? DOCTOR: Ten cats. Scared kid, remember? AMY: I found scary kids. Does that count? DOCTOR: Er, try the next floor down. Catch you later. AMY: Okay. RORY: Maybe it was, you know, junk mail. AMY: What? RORY: The message on the psychic paper. Maybe it was just nothing. (They get into the lift, Amy presses 4 and it drops like a stone. The floor indicator suggests they were originally above floor 12. When the lift arrives at G, the doors open and the lift is empty.) [Front door] (The Doctor knocks and flashes his psychic paper as soon as Alex opens the door.) ALEX: Oh. Right. That was quick. DOCTOR: Was it? (He checks the paper.) ALEX: Claire said she'd phone someone. Social Services. DOCTOR: Yes. Yes. ALEX: It's not easy, you know, admitting your kid's got a problem. DOCTOR: You've got a problem. I've got a problem. I bet they're connected, I'm the Doctor. Call me Doctor. What can I call you? ALEX: Alex. DOCTOR: Hello, Alex. (He steps inside.) DOCTOR: So, tell me about George. (There is a label on the nearest door - George's room. Inside, George is still scaring himself by making nasty shadows.) [Rubbish area] (Mrs Rossiter has dragged her black rubbish bag down and outside to the communal bins. There are other bin bags piled up by the metal containers.) MRS ROSSITER: What a blooming mess. I'm the only one who gives a monkeys round here any more. Shocking. Talking to yourself now, Elsie. They say it's the first sign. (Something moves amongst the bags.) MRS ROSSITER: Oh, Lord. Come out of there! Don't be so ruddy horrible, trying to scare an old lady to death. It's not right. Is that you, George? I'll tell your mum and dad. Come on, you little devil. Let's see your face. (Something pulls Mrs Rossiter into the pile of bin bags.) [Living room] (The Doctor is looking through the family albums.) ALEX: Ever since he was born he's been a funny kid. DOCTOR: Funny's good. We like funny, don't we? ALEX: He never cries. Bottles it all up, I suppose. Tell him off, he just looks at you. DOCTOR: How old is he? ALEX: He was eight in January. I mean, he should be growing out of stuff like this, shouldn't he? DOCTOR: Maybe. It's got worse, though lately? ALEX: Yeah. We talked about getting help. You know, maybe sending him somewhere. He started getting these nervous tics. You know, funny little cough, blinking all the time. But now it's got completely out of hand. I mean, he's scared to death of everything. DOCTOR: Pantaphobia. ALEX: What? DOCTOR: That's what it's called. Pantaphobia. Not a fear of pants though, if that's what you're thinking. It's a fear of everything. Including pants, I suppose, in that case. Sorry. Go on. ALEX: He hates clowns. DOCTOR: Understandable. ALEX: Old toys. He thinks the old lady across the way is a witch. He hates having a bath in case there's something under the water. The lift sounds like someone breathing. Look, I don't know. I'm not an expert. Maybe you can get through to him. DOCTOR: I'll do my best. [Room] (Rory wakes up on bare floorboards in a dark room.) RORY: Amy? Amy? Are you here? AMY: Yeah. Here. No, here. It's me. (Rory has a small pencil torch.) RORY: You okay? AMY: Yeah, I think so. RORY: What happened to the lift? We were in a lift, weren't we? AMY: Yeah, yeah. We. I remember getting in and then. What? RORY: We're dead, aren't we. AMY: Eh? RORY: The lift fell and we're dead. AMY: Shut up. RORY: We're dead. Again. AMY: Oh, shut up. Let's just find out where we are. [Corridor] (Lots of wood panelling and a tall ceiling. Georgian style layout.) RORY: You know, it's obvious what's happened. AMY: Yeah? Really? Because it's not obvious to me. RORY: The Tardis has gone funny again. Some time slippy thing. You know, The Doctor's back there in Eastenders-land and we're stuck here in the past. This is probably seventeen hundred and something. AMY: Yay. My favourite year. (A shadowy figure crosses behind them.) [George's room] (The lift moves, his dressing gown on the back of the door moves, George jumps and knocks his bedside lamp over.) ALEX: George? You okay? What's the matter? Oh. Never mind. Were you having a nightmare, son? GEORGE: Wasn't a nightmare. I wasn't asleep. Who are you? DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. GEORGE: A doctor? Have you come to take me away? DOCTOR: No, George. I just want to talk to you. GEORGE: What about? DOCTOR: About the monsters. [Kitchen] (Creaky door into a massive room with a long range of ovens. Amy walks into some fire irons and makes a clatter.) AMY: A bit neglected, wherever it is. RORY: Let's find the front door, at least. Then we can work out where we are. When we are. (Amy picks up a pan and taps it.) AMY: Rory? RORY: Hmm? AMY: Look at this. RORY: Well, it's a copper pan. AMY: No, it's not. It's wood. It's made of wood and just painted to look like copper. RORY: That is stupid. AMY: Wait. Hang on. (She spots a lamp on a shelf.) AMY: There's a switch. (A flame shaped bulb lights up.) RORY: Wow. Well, not seventeen hundred and something, then. (They open drawers in a sideboard.) AMY: It's glass. It's a glass eye. (A very big glass eye. Rory's torch flickers.) AMY: Stop doing that. RORY: It's not me. Come on. AMY: Yeah. Hang on. (Amy gets the wooden pan for a weapon.) [George's room] (The Doctor is whizzing through not solving a Rubik's cube.) ALEX: Maybe it was things on the telly, you know? DOCTOR: Right. ALEX: Scary stuff, getting under his skin, frightening him. DOCTOR: Mmm-hmm. ALEX: We stopped letting him watch. DOCTOR: Oh, you don't want to do that. ALEX: Then Claire thought it might have been something he was reading. DOCTOR: Great. Reading's great. You like stories, George? Yeah? Me, too. When I was your age, about, ooo, a thousand years ago, I loved a good bedtime story. The Three Little Sontarans. The Emperor Dalek's New Clothes. Snow White And The Seven Keys To Doomsday, eh? All the classics. (He throws the Rubik's cube away.) DOCTOR: Rubbish. Must be broken. I hate those things. Better tidy it away, though, eh? How about in here? No. Not in the cupboard. Why not in there, George? ALEX: It's a thing. A thing we got him doing ages back. Anything that frightens him, we put it in the cupboard. Creepy toys, scary pictures, that sort of thing. DOCTOR: And is that where the monsters go? Yeah. There's nothing to be scared of, George. It's just a cupboard. (The Doctor is about to unlock it when there is a hammering at the front door that makes everyone jump.) ALEX: Front door. [Basement corridor] (Because there are flagstones on the floor instead of wooden boards.) RORY: Let's try down here. (Someone is watching them.) [Front door] (It is the landlord and his bulldog.) PURCELL: Evening. ALEX: Oh, hi. [George's room] (They can just about be seen from the door.) PURCELL [OC]: How's Claire? ALEX [OC]: Good, thanks. At work. Look, er, this really isn't a good time. Maybe later I PURCELL [OC]: And the kiddie? ALEX [OC]: Good. Yeah. PURCELL [OC]: You know how I hate to mention it, but it's that time again. ALEX [OC]: Yes. PURCELL [OC]: And you know I like my money prompt. ALEX [OC]: The thing is, I still haven't found anywhere since the shop shut, and Claire's wage only goes so far. I thought we could, you know, come to some sort of arrangement. (The Doctor gets out his sonic screwdriver.) GEORGE: Is that a torch? DOCTOR: Screwdriver. PURCELL [OC]: No can do, son. If I went around DOCTOR: A sonic one. And other stuff. GEORGE: Please may I see the other stuff? DOCTOR: You may. (He makes some of the battery toys move.) DOCTOR: Ah, pretty cool, eh? [Living room] PURCELL: Listen to him. Isn't he awful, eh? Don't growl at the nice man, Bernard. He don't mean to upset daddy, do you? ALEX: No. PURCELL: Look, son, I know what you're thinking. Here comes horrible Purcell after his rent. Dog on a chain. See? Wasn't expecting that, was you? I'm not as daft as I look. In fact, I'm not daft at all. [George's room] DOCTOR: That's better. No tears from George, that's what I've heard. Go on, give us a smile, there's a brave little soldier. Bit rusty at this. Anyway, let's open this cupboard, eh? There's nothing to be (He scans it.) DOCTOR: (sotto) Off the scale. Off the scale. Off the scale. How? PURCELL [OC]: All I want is my three hundred and fifty pound. Simple as that. Night, night. Come on, son. Come on. (Purcell leaves. Alex rejoins the Doctor and George.) ALEX: Right. Sorry about that. So, have we got this thing open yet? DOCTOR: No! No, no, no, no, no. You don't want to do that. ALEX: Why? DOCTOR: Because George's monsters are real. [Entrance hall] (An overturned empty bird cage, a candelabra on the floor.) RORY: Oh, at last. Argh. AMY: What is it? RORY: No doorknob. Wooden pans, a massive glass eye, and now no doorknob. AMY: And this clock. RORY: What? AMY: Look, the hands, they're painted on. (A child's laughter and footsteps.) [Kitchenette] (The Doctor is going through the cupboards.) ALEX: You're supposed to be a professional. I'll never get him to sleep now. It's so irresponsible. DOCTOR: No, Alex. Responsible. Very. Cupboard bad. Cupboard not bare. Stay away from cupboard. And there's something else. Something I've missed. Something staring me in the face. ALEX: Look, I'd like you to leave, please. You're just making things worse. Will you stop making tea. I want you to leave. DOCTOR: No. ALEX: What? What do you mean no? Leave. Get out. Now, please. Look, maybe this was a bad idea. We should sort out George ourselves. DOCTOR: You can't. ALEX: No one's going to tell us how to run our lives. I don't care who you are or what wheels have been set in motion. We'll sort it. DOCTOR: I'm not just a professional. I'm the Doctor. ALEX: What's that supposed to mean? DOCTOR: It means I've come a long way to get here, Alex. A very long way. George sent a message. A distress call, if you like. Whatever's inside that cupboard is so terrible, so powerful, that it amplified the fears of an ordinary little boy across all the barriers of time and space. ALEX: Eh? DOCTOR: Through crimson stars and silent stars and tumbling nebulas like oceans set on fire. Through empires of glass and civilizations of pure thought, and a whole, terrible, wonderful universe of impossibilities. You see these eyes? They're old eyes. And one thing I can tell you, Alex. Monsters are real. ALEX: You're not from Social Services, are you? DOCTOR: First things first. You got any Jammie Dodgers? [Corridor] MRS ROSSITER: Please, I don't like being on me own. If there's anyone here, please help me. (A figure passes behind her.) [Bottom of staircase] (Childish laughter.) AMY: You hear that? RORY: Yeah. Wait. AMY: They're getting closer. RORY: They? (They cross to the next door with the laughter behind it. Rory opens it. There is a three foot tall Peg doll behind it.) AMY: Oh, it's just a. It's a dummy. Oh, it's just a dummy. RORY: This is weird. AMY: Yeah, says the time travelling nurse. Yeah, er, let's just leave that for now. Come on. (The Peg doll turns to watch them leave.) [Living room] DOCTOR: What is it with these photos? Anyway. Good. Nice tea. Nothing like a cuppa, but, decision. Should we open the cupboard? ALEX: What? DOCTOR: Should we? ALEX: Well DOCTOR: Got to open the cupboard, haven't we. Course we have. Come on, Alex. Alex, come on. How else will we ever find out what's going on here? ALEX: All right, but you said DOCTOR: Monsters. Yeah, well, that's what I do. Breakfast, dinner and tea. Fight the monsters. So this, this is just an average day at the office for me. ALEX: Okay, yeah. You're right. DOCTOR: Or maybe we shouldn't open the cupboard. ALEX: Eh? DOCTOR: We have no idea what might be in there. How powerful, how evil that thing might be. ALEX: We don't? DOCTOR: Come on, Alex. Alex, come on. Are you crazy? We can't open the cupboard. ALEX: God, no, no, we mustn't. DOCTOR: Right. That settles it. ALEX: Yes. Settles what? DOCTOR: Going to open the cupboard. [Purcell's flat] (Purcell is flicking through the channels on his wall mounted plasma TV.) "PURCELL; There's nothing on. Never anything on, is there, Bernard? Bergerac, God help us. Thirty years old, that. Where's the boxing? Meant to be boxing on. Looks like we are going to have to watch that film again." (Purcell stands up, and his foot sinks into the carpet.) PURCELL: What the? Hold on a minute. This is not, no. (He has sunk up to his waist.) PURCELL: Help me, Bernard. Help. (Purcell's face disappears underneath the carpet.) [George's room] (George peers out from behind his Dad as the Doctor approaches the cupboard. The lift starts up and makes them jump. The Doctor unlocks the cupboard and opens it, leaping backwards. There are clothes on hangers and toys at the bottom including a lovely Dolls' house.) DOCTOR: I don't understand it. It has to be the cupboard. The readings from the sonic screwdriver, they were (The Doctor runs out and fetches the photo album.) DOCTOR: How old is George, Alex? ALEX: What? How old? DOCTOR: Yes. How old is George? ALEX: Well, I told you. Just turned eight. DOCTOR: So you remember when he was born, then? ALEX: Of course. DOCTOR: Course you do. How could you not? You and Claire. Christmas Eve, 2002, right? ALEX: What? Er yeah. DOCTOR: Couple of weeks before George was born. Tell me about the day he arrived. Must have been wonderful. ALEX: Well, it was the best day of my (big pause) life. DOCTOR: Sure? ALEX: Yes. DOCTOR: You don't sound sure. ALEX: What are you trying to say? Look, I don't like this. I've told you before, I want you to go. DOCTOR: What's the matter, Alex? ALEX: I can't. Oh, don't. Oh, this is scary. DOCTOR: No, Alex, this is scary. Claire with baby George. Newborn, yes? ALEX: Yes. DOCTOR: Less than a month after Christmas. ALEX: So? DOCTOR: So look. Look. Claire's not pregnant. ALEX: What? DOCTOR: Not pregnant. ALEX: Well, of course not. Claire can't have kids! DOCTOR: Say that again. ALEX: We tried everything. She was desperate. As much IVF as we could afford, but. Claire can't have kids. How? How can I have forgotten that? DOCTOR: Who are you, George? ALEX: It's not possible. This isn't DOCTOR: George? (The lift makes his toys shake. The bedside lamp glows brightly all of a sudden, then the cupboard door flies open. A white light floods out and grabs Alex and the Doctor.) DOCTOR: George! George, what's going on? Are you doing it? ALEX: What's happening? GEORGE: Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. DOCTOR: George, no! GEORGE: Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. ALEX: Help me, Doctor! GEORGE: Please save me from the monsters. DOCTOR: George, no! (The Doctor is dragged back into the cupboard.) GEORGE: Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. Please save me from the monsters. (Alex is dragged into the cupboard.) ALEX: No! (And the door slams shut. Peace reigns again.) [Corridor] RORY: Why aren't there any lights? I miss lights. You don't really miss things till they're gone, do you? It's like what my nan used to say. You'll never miss the water till the well runs dry. AMY: Rory. RORY: Except light, I mean, not water. Lights are great, aren't they? I mean if this place was all lit up, we wouldn't even be worried at all. AMY: Rory. Panicking, a bit. RORY: Yeah, yeah. Sorry. AMY: Yeah. PURCELL: Help me, please. Keep them away from me. Keep them away. (A life sized Peg doll grabs Purcell. He screams, then turns to wood himself.) AMY: I take it all back. Panic now. (Amy and Rory run back the way they came.) DOLL: Don't run away. We want to play. (Amy and Rory slam the library door on them.) [Dining room] (Table with candelabra set for a meal. DOCTOR: George! George, don't do this. We want to help you, George. ALEX: We went, we went into the cupboard. We went into the cupboard. How can it be bigger in here? DOCTOR: More common than you'd think, actually. You're okay. ALEX: Where are we? DOCTOR: Obvious, isn't it? ALEX: No. DOCTOR: Dolls' house. We're inside the dolls' house. ALEX: The dolls' house? DOCTOR: Yeah, in the cupboard, in your flat. The dolls' house. ALEX: No, no, just slow down, would you? DOCTOR: Look. Wooden chicken. Cups, saucers, plates, knives, forks, fruit, chickens. Wood. So, we're either inside the dolls' house or this a refuge for dirty posh people who eat wooden food. Or termites. Giant termites trying to get on the property ladder. No. That's possible. Is that possible? [Corridor] ALEX: Look, will you stop? What is he? What is George? And how could I forget that Claire can't have kids? How? DOCTOR: Perception filter. Some kind of hugely powerful perception filter. Convinced you and Claire, everyone. Made you change your memories. Now, what could do that? ALEX: Just a mirror. (They move on to reveal a Peg doll watching.) [Library] (The Peg dolls are trying to break in.) AMY: Lock it! RORY: There isn't a lock. (The door is pushed open.) RORY: No, no, no, no, no! AMY: Come on! (They push it shut again. Rory fetches a large cotton reel to put against it.) [Entrance hall] (Amy has left the lantern here.) DOCTOR: So, Claire can't have kids and something responded to that. Responded to that need. What could do that? ALEX: I thought you were the expert, fighting monsters all day long. You tell me. DOCTOR: Oi! Listen, mush. Old eyes, remember? I've been around the block a few times. More than a few. They've knocked down the blocks I've been round and re-built them as bigger blocks. Super blocks. And I've been round them as well. I can't remember everything. (The noise of the lift.) ALEX: Doctor DOCTOR: It's like trying to remember the name of someone you met at a party when you were two. ALEX: Doctor, the lift. DOCTOR: And I can't just plump for Brian like I normally do. ALEX: Doctor, listen! DOCTOR: Shush. What's that? ALEX: It's the lift. It's the sound that the lift makes. George is scared stiff of it. (The electric lights in the bulbs on the candelabra go out one by one.) [Library] AMY: We can't stay in here. We've got to get out! RORY: Er, how? AMY: Take control, Rory. Take control of the only thing we can. Letting them in. RORY: Letting them in? AMY: It'll surprise them. We open the door and we push past them. Kick them, punch them, anything, okay? DOLL [OC]: Time to play. RORY: Okay. AMY: Okay. (Rory arms himself with a mop then Amy drags the cotton reel away.) AMY: Go on! (One doll falls flat on its face. Rory pushes past the other.) RORY: Amy, come on. (The Purcell doll grabs Amy.) AMY: Rory! RORY: Amy! Get off (Amy is transformed into a peg doll.) CHILDREN: (singing) Tick tock goes the clock, and all the years they fly. Tick tock and all too soon, you and I must die. (Rory backs away up some stairs.) [Entrance hall] (The candelabra is lighting up and going out again.) ALEX: Five times. DOCTOR: What? ALEX: The lights. It's happening five times. It's like one of George's habits. We have to switch the lights on and off five times. DOCTOR: Now you're getting it. ALEX: What do you mean? DOCTOR: What do you tell George to do, Alex, with everything that scares him? ALEX: Well, put it in the cupboard. DOCTOR: Exactly. And George isn't just an ordinary little boy, we know that now, so anything scary he puts in here. Scary toys, like the dolls' house. Scary noises, like, like the lift. Even his little rituals have become part of it. A psychic repository for all his fears, but what is he? (The Amy doll enters.) ALEX: Oh, my God. (The Doctor tries to sonic her.) ALEX: A gun? You've got a gun? DOCTOR: It's not a gun. Wood! I've got to invent a setting for wood. It's embarrassing. (The Doctor finds a pair of giant pinking shears and prods the doll back to make their escape.) DOCTOR: Come on. AMY DOLL: Don't run away. We just want to play. [Bottom of the stairs] DOCTOR: Massive psychic field, perfect perception filter, and that need. That need of Claire's to, to. Stupid Doctor. Ow. (Alex uses the shears to find of Amy-Doll.) DOCTOR: George is a Tenza. Of course he is. ALEX: He's a what? (Peg dolls are approaching from all directions.) DOCTOR: A cuckoo. A cuckoo in the nest. A Tenza. He's a Tenza. Millions of them hatch in space and then whoomph, off they drift, looking for a nest. The Tenza young can sense exactly what their foster parents want and then they assimilate perfectly. ALEX: George is an alien? DOCTOR: Yep. ALEX: But he's he's our child. (They back up the staircase.) DOCTOR: Of course he is. The child you always wanted. He sensed that instinctively and sought you out, but something scared him. Started this cycle of fear. It's all completely instinctive, subconscious. George isn't even aware that he's controlling it. So we have to make him aware. George! [George's room] DOCTOR [OC]: George, you're the only one who can stop this [Staircase] DOCTOR: But you have to believe. You have to believe. You have to know you're safe. [George's room] (George shakes his head.) DOCTOR [OC]: I can't save you from the monsters. [Staircase] DOCTOR: Only you can. George, listen to me. [George's room] DOCTOR [OC]: George, listen to me. [Staircase] DOCTOR: Rory! RORY: Doctor! DOCTOR: Where's Amy? (Rory points at the doll behind him.) DOCTOR: Oh, no. George! George, you have to face your fears! [George's room] DOCTOR [OC]: You have to face them now. [Staircase] DOCTOR: You have to open the cupboard, or we'll all be trapped here forever in a living death. George! [George's room] DOCTOR [OC]: George, listen to me. George! George, listen to me. George! (George reaches for the key.) [Staircase] DOCTOR: Please! George, you have to end this. End this. End it. End it now! (George opens the cupboards and the dolls stop moving. George is standing at the bottom of the staircase.) DOCTOR: George. George, you did it. You did it. Hey, it's okay. It's all okay now. Everything's going to be fine. (The dolls start moving again down the stairs.) DOCTOR: No! No! No, no, no, no, no. George, you created this whole world. This whole thing. You can smash it. You can destroy it. (George shakes his head.) DOCTOR: Something's holding him back. Something's holding him back. Something. GEORGE [memory]: Who are you? DOCTOR [memory]: I'm the Doctor. GEORGE [memory]: A doctor? Have you come to take me away? Away. Away. Away. DOCTOR: That's what did it. That's what the trigger was. He thought you were rejecting him. He thought he wasn't wanted, that someone was going to come and take him away. ALEX: Well, we, we talked about it. DOCTOR: Yeah, and he heard you, Alex. A Tenza's sole function is to fit in, to be wanted, and you were rejecting him. ALEX: We just couldn't cope! We needed help! DOCTOR: Yes, but George didn't know that. He thought you were rejecting him. He still thinks it. ALEX: But how can we keep him? How can we? He's not DOCTOR: Not what? ALEX: He's not human. (The dolls surround George.) DOCTOR: No. GEORGE: Dad! (Alex pushes his way through the dolls and grabs George.) ALEX: Whatever you are, whatever you do, you're my son, and I will never, ever send you away. Oh, George. Oh, my little boy. GEORGE: Dad. (The cupboard door flies open.) ALEX: My little boy. GEORGE: Dad. [Rubbish area] (Next morning, Mrs Rossiter wakes up covered in black bin bags.) ROSSITER: Oh dear. Must be them tablets. Oh. Oh, dear. [By the lift] (Rory and Amy step out.) AMY: Was I? RORY: Yeah. (Purcell wakes up on the carpet, with Bernard licking his hand. He hugs his dog in relief.) [Front door] (Claire comes home from her night shift.) ALEX [OC]: Right, stay still. Still as a statue, or I'll come and get you. (George laughs. Claire goes inside.) ALEX [OC]: I'm coming, I'm coming. CLAIRE: Hi. ALEX [OC]: Hey, close eyes. [Kitchen] (George has just had his face washed and dried.) DOCTOR: Hello. You're Claire, I expect. Claire, (air kisses) how'd you feel about kippers? CLAIR: Er who ALEX: They sent someone about George. It's all sorted. DOCTOR: Yeah, we had a great time, didn't we? GEORGE: Yeah. DOCTOR: See? He's fine. CLAIRE: What, just like that? DOCTOR: Yes. Trust me. [Outside the flat] ALEX: Doctor, wait. DOCTOR: Sorry, yes. Bye. ALEX: No, no, you can't just. I mean DOCTOR: It's sorted. You sorted it. Good man, Alex. Proud of you. ALEX: What, that's it? DOCTOR: Well, apart from making sure he eats his greens and getting him into a good school, yes. ALEX: But is he going to, I don't know, sprout another head or three eyes or something? DOCTOR: He's one of the Tenza, remember. He'll adapt perfectly now. Hey! Be whatever you want him to be. I might pop back around puberty, mind you. Always a funny time. CLAIRE [OC]: Kippers are getting cold. [Garage block] DOCTOR: Come on, you two. Things to do, people to see, whole civilisations to save. You feeling okay? AMY: Er, I think so. DOCTOR: Well, it's good to be all back together again, in the flesh. Come on. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Now, did someone mention something about planets and history and stuff? RORY: Yeah. DOCTOR: Where do you want to go? AMY: Er DOCTOR: Mind's gone blank. AMY: Well, I have just been turned into a wooden dolly. DOCTOR: Excuses, excuses. RORY: It's tough, though. It's like being given three wishes. The whole universe? DOCTOR: Or universes. Ooo, three wishes, like Ali Baba. How about that? CHILDREN: (singing) Tick tock goes the clock, even for the Doctor. [Corridor] (A monastery cum castle on an island. Think St Michael's Mount, but a bit flatter and further from any shoreline.) JIMMY: Lights. (The lights come on and the two men and a woman walk forward. They are wearing protective clothing.) [Acid room] JIMMY: Lights. You know the drill, people. Plastic visors down and locked. Buzzer? (Buzzer raises the lid on a large vat.) JENNIFER: Reading of nine point seven. JIMMY: Sounds a bit low for unrefined. How's the average? JENNIFER: The acid potency stats have definitely dropped below the mean during the last quarter. BUZZER: Prettier than a computer, isn't she? JENNIFER: Give over, Buzz. (Buzzer is standing on the edge of the vat when she gives him a nudge. He falls in.) JENNIFER: Buzzer. Buzz. JIMMY: Oh, great. Nice going, twinkle toes. JENNIFER: I shouldn't have swung at him. Sorry, Buzz. My bad. BUZZER: No, you're all right. Jimmy? JIMMY: Well, no point carrying you back legless. Sorry, Buzzer. You're dead. BUZZER: Well, this is a right pain in the armour. Heart's gone now. JIMMY: Look, we'd best get off. Got to write this one up for the boss. Those suits cost a bomb. If I miss my boy's birthday filling out forms, I'll kill you again. (Buzzer raises a farewell hand, which melts. Jennifer and Jimmy leave.) JIMMY: Lights. [Corridor] JENNIFER: I'm looking at these readings, Jimmy, and the potency stats are way too low. We may have to take that read again. This thing is still jamming up on me. BUZZER: So I think we'd better talk about what just happened back there. I could get compensation. I've seen the holo-ads. Had an accident in the workplace? Yeah, I have as it goes. I melted. JIMMY: Let it go. BUZZER: Just remember. When you're doing your report, it wasn't my fault. She took a swing at me. JENNIFER: I never touched you. You've got two left feet, Buzzer. BUZZER: I haven't got two left feet. Or any arms, neck, head, the chin. This body costs money, love. JIMMY: Not as much as that acid suit. BUZZER: Oh, lighten up. It's not like anyone was hurt. (The version of Buzzer in the acid vat finally dissolves.) [Tardis] (Loud music reverberates through the Tardis. I'm told it is called Supermassive Black Hole by Muse. Whatever. Rory and Amy are playing darts.) AMY: Forty six. Rubbishy, rubbishy, rubbish. RORY: Hello? It's a double top. AMY: Wrong side of the wire, mister. RORY: You're on the oche, Red. (The scanner still cannot decide whether Amy is pregnant or not. The Doctor turns off the music.) DOCTOR: Who wants fish and chips? (Rory raises his hand.) DOCTOR: I'll drop you both off. Take your time. Don't rush. RORY: Er, and you? Things to do. Things involving other things. AMY: Well, we'll stay with you. We'll do the other things. DOCTOR: Nope. AMY: Whatever you're up to, I'd personally like to be a part of it. What? (A klaxon blares, then everyone gets thrown around.) DOCTOR: Solar tsunami. Came directly from your sun. A tidal wave of radiation. Big, big, big. RORY: Oh Doctor, my tummy's going funny. DOCTOR: Well, the gyrator disconnected. Target tracking is out. (The Tardis heads for Earth.) DOCTOR: Assume the position! (Amy and Rory put their heads between their knees, then it all goes still.) DOCTOR: Textbook landing. [St John's Island] DOCTOR: Behold, a cockerel! Love a cockerel. (A weathervane.) DOCTOR: And underneath, a monastery. Thirteenth century. AMY: Oh, we've gone all mediaeval. RORY: I'm not sure about that. AMY: Really? Mediaeval expert are you? RORY: No, it's just that I can hear Dusty Springfield. (You Don't Have To Say You Love Me. The Doctor inspects a hole in the ground with a pipe running through it. The pipe is labelled Danger Corrosive.) DOCTOR: These fissures are new. Solar tsunami sent out a huge wave of gamma particles. This is caused by a magnetic quake that occurs just before the wave hits. AMY: Well, the monastery's standing. (The Doctor takes a snow globe out of his pocket and shakes it.) DOCTOR: Yeah, for now. RORY: Doctor, look. DOCTOR: Yeah. It's a supply pipe. Ceramic inner lining. Something corrosive. They're pumping something nasty off this island to the mainland. RORY: My mum's a massive fan of Dusty Springfield. DOCTOR: Who isn't? Right, let's go. Satisfy our rabid curiosity. [Courtyard] AMY: So where are these Dusty Springfield loving monks, then? DOCTOR: I think we're here. This is it. RORY: Doctor, what are you talking about? We've never been here before. DOCTOR: Hmm? AMY: We came here by accident? DOCTOR: Accident? Yes, I know. Accident. RORY: Ow! DOCTOR: Acid. They're pumping acid off this island. That's old stuff. Fresh acid, you wouldn't have a finger. TANNOY: Intruder alert. Intruder alert. DOCTOR: There are people coming. Well, almost. AMY: Almost coming? DOCTOR: Almost people. RORY: I think we should really be going. AMY: Come on! RORY: I'm telling you. When something runs towards you, it is never for a nice reason. [Harness room] (Buzzer and others are reclining in harnesses in the alcoves.) AMY: What are all these harnesses for? RORY: The almost people? AMY: What are they, prisoners, or are they meditating, or what? DOCTOR: Well, at the moment they fall into the or what category. TANNOY: Halt and remain calm. DOCTOR: Well, we've halted. How are we all doing on the calm front? JIMMY: Don't move! BUZZER: Stay back, Jen. We don't know who they are. JENNIFER: So let's ask them. Who the hell are you? (Amy looks around at the same people in the harnesses.) DOCTOR: Well, I'm the Doctor, and this is Amy and Rory, and it's all very nice, isn't it? AMY: Hold up. You're all. What are you all? Like identical twins? (Two more people walk in wearing acid suits. The woman seems to be in charge.) CLEAVES: This is an Alpha Grade industrial facility. Unless you work for the military or for Morpeth Jetson, you are in big trouble. DOCTOR: Actually, you're in big trouble. (He gets out the psychic paper.) CLEAVES: Meteorological Department? Since when? DOCTOR: Since you were hit by a solar wave. CLEAVES: Which we survived. DOCTOR: Just, by the look of it. And there's a bigger one on the way. CLEAVES: Which we'll also survive. Dicken, scan for bugs. BUZZER: Backs against the wall. Now. DOCTOR: You're not a monastery, you're a factory. Twenty second century army-owned factory. AMY: You're army? CLEAVES: No, love. We're contractors, and you're trespassers. DICKEN: It's clear, boss. CLEAVES: All right, weatherman, your ID checks out. If there's another solar storm, what are you going to do about it? Hand out sunblock? DOCTOR: I need to see your critical systems. CLEAVES: Which one? DOCTOR: You know which one. [Flesh room] (Another vat, this time filled with bubbling milky liquid.) DOCTOR: And there you are. CLEAVES: Meet the government's worst kept secret. The Flesh. It's fully programmable matter. In fact, it's even learning to replicate itself at the cellular level. AMY: Right. Brilliant. Lost. CLEAVES: Okay. Once a reading's been taken, we can manipulate its molecular structure into anything. Replicate a living organism down to the hairs on its chinny chin chin. Even clothes. And everything's identical. Eyes, voice DOCTOR: Mind, soul? CLEAVES: Don't be fooled, Doctor. It acts like life but it still needs to be controlled by us, from those harnesses you saw. RORY: Wait, whoa. Hold it. So, you're Flesh now? CLEAVES: I'm lying in a harness back in that chamber. We all are, except Jennifer here. Don't be scared. This thing, just like operating a forklift truck. DOCTOR: You said it could grow. Only living things grow. CLEAVES: Moss grows. It's no more than that. This acid is so dangerous we were losing a worker every week. So now we mine the acid using these doppelgangers. Or Gangers. If these bodies get burnt or fall in the acid BUZZER: Then who the hell cares, right, Jen? JENNIFER: Nerve endings automatically cut off like airbags being discharged. We wake up and get a new Ganger. JIMMY: It's weird, but you get used to it. CLEAVES: Jennifer, I want you in your Ganger. Get back to the harness. (Jennifer leaves. The Doctor scans the Flesh.) BUZZER: Hang on, what's he up to? What you up to, pal? DOCTOR: Stop it. Strange. It was like for a moment there it was scanning me. CLEAVES: Doctor. (The Doctor's hand is pulled to the surface of the Flesh.) CLEAVES: Get back, Doctor. Leave it alone. (He finally yanks his hand back.) DOCTOR: I understand. AMY: Doctor? Are you all right? DOCTOR: Incredible. You have no idea. No idea. I mean, I felt it in my mind. I reached out to it, and it to me. CLEAVES: Don't fiddle with the money, Doctor. DOCTOR: How can you be so blinkered? It's alive. So alive. You're piling your lives, your personalities directly into it. (Bang, flash.) DOCTOR: It's the solar storm. The first waves come in pairs. Pre-shock and fore-shock. It's close. CLEAVES: Buzzer, we got anything from the mainland yet? BUZZER: No, the comms are still too jammed with radiation. CLEAVES: Okay. Then we'll keep pumping acid until the mainland says stop. Now why don't you stand back and let us impress you? [Harness room] COMPUTER: ID confirmed. Jennifer Lucas. JENNIFER: The meter is running. (Jennifer puts her hand on a scanner then gets into her harness.) JENNIFER: Cardio and respiratory online. Motor functions online. Plumbing in. [Flesh room] (A smaller tank is filling with Flesh. A face appears in it and a few moments later a new Jennifer sits up.) DOCTOR: Well, I can see why you keep it in a church. Miracle of life. BUZZER: No need to get poncey. It's just gunge. CLEAVES: Guys, we need to get to work. JIMMY: Okay, everybody, let's crack on. DOCTOR: Did I mention the solar storm? You need to get out of here. JIMMY: Where do you want us to go? We're on a tiny island. DOCTOR: Well, I can get you all off it. CLEAVES: Don't be ridiculous. We've got a job to do. DOCTOR: It's coming. JENNIFER: That's the alarm. DOCTOR: How do you get power? CLEAVES: We're solar. We use a solar router. The weathervane. DOCTOR: Big problem. JIMMY: Boss, maybe if the storm's back we should get underground. The factory's seen better days. The acid pipes might not withstand another hit. CLEAVES: We have two hundred tons of acid to pump out. We fall behind, we stay another rotation. Anyone want that? DOCTOR: Please, you are making a massive mistake here. You're right at the crossroads of it. Don't turn the wrong way. If you don't, if you don't prepare for this storm, you are all in terrible danger. Understand? CLEAVES: My factory, my rules. DOCTOR: I need to check the progress of the storm. Monitoring station? Monitoring station. JENNIFER: Three lefts, a right and a left. Third door on your left. DOCTOR: Thank you. [Monitoring station] (A big storm lights up the sky.) DOCTOR: Waves disturbing the Earth's magnetic field. There is going to be the mother and father of all power surges. See this weathervane, the cock-a-doodle-do? It's a solar router feeding the whole factory with solar power. When that wave hits, ka-boom. I've to get to that cockerel before all hell breaks loose. I never thought I'd have to say that again. Amy, breathe. AMY: Yeah! I mean, thanks. I'll try. (The Doctor heads up the spiral staircase to the tower top. The weathervane is spinning very fast. Down in the harness room, the Gangers are watching their originals as the storm gathers force. Down in the crypt and outside, pipes burst and acid leaks out. The ground below the Tardis dissolves, and it sinks. Up in the air, the Doctor opens the Danger High Voltage box and starts pulling relays. There is a strike and he is thrown off the ladder. Electricity blasts down into the Flesh vat. All the Gangers faces become slightly molten, and they cry out. After a short time, the Doctor wakes. The weathervane has been destroyed. The monastery goes dark.) [Flesh room] (Amy and Rory are out cold on the floor.) RORY: Oh. For want of a better word, ow! [Courtyard] DOCTOR: Cleaves, you're not in your harness. CLEAVES: I'm sorry, Doctor. You were right. DOCTOR: You've lost all power to the factory. CLEAVES: Doctor, I abandoned my team. DOCTOR: Then let's go get them. [Corridor] DOCTOR: How long would you say we were unconscious for, Cleaves? CLEAVES: Not long. A minute, two minutes? DOCTOR: I'd hazard we've been out a teensy bit longer. CLEAVES: Well, how long? DOCTOR: An hour. I've seen whole worlds turned inside out in an hour. A lot can go wrong in an hour. [Harness room] (Buzzer is being helped down from his harness.) BUZZER: I feel like I been toasted. JIMMY: What the hell happened? AMY: The tsunami happened. You hurt? JIMMY: It feels like the National Grid's run through my bones but apart from that BUZZER: I hope the meter's not bust. I still want to get paid. RORY: Jennifer! Jennifer. Hey, all right? JENNIFER: It hurt so much. RORY: Hey. Hey, it's okay. It's over. (Rory comforts Jennifer. Amy doesn't look happy about it.) JENNIFER: I couldn't get out of my harness. RORY: Shush. JENNIFER: I thought I was going to die. RORY: Welcome to my world. (The Doctor and Cleaves run in.) AMY: Doctor, these are all real people, so where are their Gangers? CLEAVES: Don't worry. When the link shuts down the Gangers return to pure Flesh. Now, the storm's left us with acid leaks all over, so we need to contact the mainland. They can have a rescue shuttle out here in no time. (The Dusty Springfield song starts up.) JIMMY: That's my record. Who's playing my record? DOCTOR: Your Gangers. They've gone walkabout. CLEAVES: No, it's impossible. They're not active. Cars don't fly themselves, cranes don't lift themselves and Gangers don't [Dining hall] BUZZER: No way. CLEAVES: I don't, I don't believe this. JIMMY: They could've escaped through the service door at the back. BUZZER: This is just like the Isle of Sheppey. DOCTOR: It would seem the storm has animated your Gangers. CLEAVES: They've ransacked everything. DOCTOR: Not ransacked, searched. CLEAVES: Through our stuff! DOCTOR: Their stuff. JIMMY: Searching for what? DOCTOR: Confirmation. They need to know their memories are real. BUZZER: Oh, so they've got flaming memories now. DOCTOR: They feel compelled to connect to their lives. CLEAVES: Their stolen lives. DOCTOR: No, bequeathed. You gave them this. You poured in your personalities, emotions, traits, memories, secrets, everything. You gave them your lives. Human lives are amazing. Are you surprised they walked off with them? BUZZER: I'll say it again. Isle of Sheppey. Ganger got an electric shock, toddled off, killed his operator right there in his harness. I've seen the photos. This bloke's ear was all hanging JIMMY: Even if this has actually happened, they can't remain stable without us plumbed in to them, can they, boss. CLEAVES: Guess we'll find out. RORY: Are you okay? Do you need some water? JENNIFER: I feel funny. I need the washroom. RORY: I'll come with you. (Rory follows Jennifer out. Dicken sneezes and makes Amy jump.) DICKEN: Sorry. AMY: Oh! Okay. (The Doctor examines a card tower on the table.) BUZZER: That's me. It's good to have a hobby. So what, my Ganger did that all on its own? DOCTOR: Who taught you to do this? BUZZER: My granddad. DOCTOR: Well, your Ganger's granddad taught him to do it, too. You both have the same childhood memories, just as clear, just as real. BUZZER: No. DOCTOR: Scared, disorientated, struggling to come to terms with an entire life in their heads. [Washroom] RORY: The Doctor's always saying don't wander off. First rule with him, actually. Don't wander off. JENNIFER: I just need a minute. RORY: Oh, yeah. Sure. Take all the time you need. I've got your back. You're fine. (In the mirror, Jennifer's face flickers from human to part-formed Ganger and back. She slumps forward and a piece of Flesh falls into the sink.) RORY: Er, Jennifer? What's up, Jennifer? (Jennifer runs into a cubicle.) We er, we'd better get going. Everything okay in there, Jen? (A hand comes out through a hole in the cubicle door on an elongated arm, hitting Rory and breaking the mirror. Then Jennifer's head comes out on a stretchy neck.) JENNIFER: Just let us live. (Rory runs away.) [Dining hall] JIMMY: We need to protect ourselves. (The Doctor pops a meal into the microwave.) DOCTOR: Are you a violent man, Jimmy? JIMMY: No. DOCTOR: Then why would the other Jimmy be? CLEAVES: Don't tell me you can eat at a time like this, Doctor. DOCTOR: You told me we were out cold for a few minutes, Cleaves, when in fact it was an hour. CLEAVES: Sorry, I just assumed DOCTOR: Well, it's not your fault. Like I said, they're disoriented. Amy, when you got to the alcoves, who was in harness? AMY: Jimmy and Dicken were helping Buzzer out. DOCTOR: Jennifer? AMY: She was standing on her own when we got to her. (The microwave dings. The Doctor hands the plate to Cleaves.) DOCTOR: It's hot. (Cleaves drops the plate.) DOCTOR: Trans-matter's still a little rubbery. Nerve endings not quite fused properly. CLEAVES: What are you talking about? DOCTOR: It's okay. CLEAVES: Why didn't I feel that? DOCTOR: You will. You'll stabilise. CLEAVES: No, stop it. You're playing stupid games. Stop it! DOCTOR: You don't have to hide. Please, trust me. I'm the Doctor. (Cleaves turns around with a Ganger face. Buzzer grabs a knife and Jimmy holds him back.) BUZZER: Where's the real Cleaves, you thing? What have you done with her? DOCTOR: That's it. Good, you remember. This is early Flesh. The early stages of the technology. So much to learn. AMY: Doctor, what's happened to her? DOCTOR: She can't stabilise. She's shifting between half-formed and full-formed, for now at least. CLEAVES: We are living. (She runs out of the room, screaming.) DOCTOR: Let her go. AMY: Doctor, Rory. DOCTOR: Rory? AMY: Rory! DOCTOR: Oh, Rory. Rory! Always with the Rory. [Monastery] (Their way is blocked by the contents of some broken drums.) JIMMY: Explosion must've ruptured the acid feeds. We're going to need the acid suits. DOCTOR: No, no, no. We haven't got time. Back, back, back! (Rory comes upon the spill from the other direction.) JENNIFER [OC]: Rory? Rory? Rory? (Rory hides. Her face is half-formed.) [Washroom] AMY: Rory. (There is a hole punched in the wall to the outside.) DOCTOR: Of course, Jennifer's a Ganger too. AMY: Doctor, you said they wouldn't be violent. DOCTOR: But I did say they were scared and angry. JIMMY: And early technology, is what you said. You seem to know something about the Flesh. AMY: Do you? Doctor? JIMMY: You're no weatherman. Why are you really here? DOCTOR: I have to talk to them. I can fix this. JIMMY: Wait. What's going on? Where's the real Jennifer? [Corridor] (Another pipe ruptures.) DOCTOR: It is too dangerous out here with acid leaks. AMY: We have to find Rory. DOCTOR: Yes. I'm going back to the Tardis. Wait for me in the dining hall. I want us to keep together, okay. No more wandering off. AMY: And what about Rory? DOCTOR: Well, it would be safer to look for Rory and Jennifer with the Tardis. JIMMY: Here we go. Distress flares. DOCTOR: Exit? JIMMY: Keep going straight. Can't miss it. But you're never going to get your vehicle in here. DOCTOR: I'm a great parker. JIMMY: We really need those acid suits. I've sent Buzzer and Dicken to get them. AMY: Fine and dandy. I'm just going to find my husband, so cheers. JIMMY: Amy, I wouldn't. AMY: Nor would I. What can you do, eh? JIMMY: At least wait for an acid suit. [Locker room] (Rory finds Jennifer.) G-JENNIFER: When I was a little girl, I got lost on the moors, wandered off from the picnic. I can still feel how sore my toes got inside my red welly boots. And I imagined another little girl, just like me, in red wellies, and she was Jennifer too. Except she was a strong Jennifer, a tough Jennifer. She'd lead me home. My name is Jennifer Lucas. I am not a factory part. I had toast for my breakfast. I wrote a letter to my mum. And then you arrived. I noticed your eyes right off. RORY: Did you? G-JENNIFER: Nice eyes. Kind. RORY: Where is the real Jennifer? G-JENNIFER: I am Jennifer Lucas. I remember everything that happened in her entire life. Every birthday, every childhood illness. I feel everything she has ever felt and more. I'm not a monster! I am me. Me! Me! Me! (She looks completely human now.) G-JENNIFER: Why did they do this to us? Help me, Rory. Help me. RORY: Shush, shush. [Flesh room] (The Doctor scans the vat with his sonic screwdriver, then leaves. A pair of lips appear in the vat.) LIPS: Trust me. [St Johns Island] (Just the top of the Tardis is visible, sticking out of the ground.) DOCTOR: Oh. What are you doing down there? (Then he notices that his shoes are dissolving. He abandons them and runs back into the monastery.) [Locker room] BUZZER: Clear. (The Acid Suit locker is empty.) BUZZER: Those damn Gangers got to the acid suits. DICKEN: There is acid leaking everywhere. Did you see the boss' eyes back there in the hall? BUZZER: I've never seen a Ganger look at me like that. DICKEN: I don't know what they are now, but they ain't us. (Dicken sneezes.) [Acid room] (Ganger Dicken, Buzzer and Jimmy are waiting for their leader.) G-CLEAVES: We have the advantage now. We have the acid suits. We can move freely. Strike at will. [Monastery] RORY: Are you sure you're feeling better? No more super-elastic punches? G-JENNIFER: I'm different now. Stronger. RORY: The Doctor won't hurt you. He wants to help, Jennifer, okay? G-JENNIFER: You used my name. You used my name. Thank you. (She kisses Rory.) G-JENNIFER: Amy's a lucky girl. RORY: Yeah, she is. Let's go. (Someone was hiding up a staircase, listening. It is dark, but I think it was Cleaves.) [Room] AMY: Rory. Rory? (The Eye Patch woman is looking through a hatch in the far wall.) [Corridor] (Amy slams the door shut again.) RORY: Amy! AMY: You're okay. What happened? (G-Jennifer peeks out from behind Rory's back.) RORY: She needs protecting. (Buzzer and Dicken come up from behind.) BUZZER: Jen? AMY: No, it's a Ganger. Rory, listen. RORY: Look, you listen. Nobody touches her. [Acid room] (The Doctor finds the acid suits, and the Gangers.) DOCTOR: Hello. How are you all getting on? G-CLEAVES: Why don't you tell us? DOCTOR: Well, we have two choices. The first is to tear each other apart. Not my favourite. The second is to knuckle down and work together. Try to work out how best we can help you. [Corridor] (The Doctor leads the Gangers out.) DOCTOR: Now, I know its hard for you to hold your fully human form. That's why you keep shifting between the Flesh stages, but do try. It'll make the others less scared of you. [Dining hall] BUZZER: Where's Jen? What have you done with her? G-JENNIFER: I haven't seen her, I swear. But look, I'm her. I'm just like her. I'm real. JIMMY: You're a copy. You're just pretending to be like her. AMY: Rory, we don't really know anything about them yet. RORY: Well, I know that she's afraid and she needs our help. G-JENNIFER: Jimmy, Buzzer. Come on, you guys. We've worked together for two years. BUZZER: I worked with Jennifer Lucas, not you. AMY: Okay, let's not do anything at all AMY + DOCTOR: Until the Doctor gets here. Hello. (The Gangers look fully human. This is going to get confusing.) JIMMY: This is G-JIMMY: You're telling me. G-CLEAVES: All right, Doctor, you've brought us together. Now what? DOCTOR: Before we do anything, I have one very important question. Has anybody got a pair of shoes I could borrow? Size ten. Although I should warn you, I have very wide feet. [Locker room] CLEAVES: That's it, Doctor befriend them. Team up with them, why don't you? Make a football team. How about that? You're going to have us all together singing campfire songs. (She collects some equipment.) [Dining room] (The Doctor has acquired boots.) DOCTOR: The Flesh was never merely moss. These are not copies. The storm has hardwired them. They are becoming people. JIMMY: With souls? DICKEN: Rubbish! Achoo. DOCTOR: Bless you. We were all jelly once. Little jelly eggs sitting in goop. AMY: Yeah, thanks. Too much information. DOCTOR: We are not talking about an accident that needs to be mopped up. We are talking about sacred life. Do you understand? Good. Now, the Tardis is trapped in an acid pool. Once I can reach her, I can get you all off this island, humans and Gangers, eh? How does that sound? JIMMY: Can I make it home for Adam's birthday? G-JIMMY: What about me? He's my son too. JIMMY: You? You really think that? G-JIMMY: I feel it. JIMMY: Oh, so you were there when he was born, were you? G-JIMMY: Yeah. I drank about eight pints of tea, then they told me I had a wee boy and I just burst out laughing. No idea why. I miss home, as much as you. DOCTOR: Look, I'm not going to lie to you. It's a right old mess, this. But as you might say up North, oh well, I'll just go to't foot of stairs. Eee by by gum. Or not. Good. Right. First step is we get everyone together, then get everyone safe. Then, get everyone out of here. AMY: But we're still missing Jennifer and Cleaves. JIMMY: I'll go and look for them. G-JIMMY: I'll give you a hand, if you like. Cover more ground. JIMMY: Yeah, okay. Thanks. CLEAVES: This circus has gone on long enough. G-CLEAVES: Oh, great. You see, that is just so typically me. CLEAVES: Doctor, tell it to shut up! DOCTOR: Cleaves, no. No, no. CLEAVES: Circuit probe. Fires about ooo, forty thousand volts? Would kill any one of us, so I guess she'll work on Gangers just the same. DOCTOR: It's interesting you refer to them as it, but you call a glorified cattle prod a she. CLEAVES: When the real people are safely off this island, then I'll happily talk philosophy over a pint with you, Doctor. AMY: What are you going to do to them? CLEAVES: Sorry. They're monsters. Mistakes. They have to be destroyed. DOCTOR: Give me the probe, Cleaves. CLEAVES: We always have to take charge, don't we, Miranda. Even when we don't really know what the hell is going on. (Ganger Buzzer tries to rush her. Cleaves zaps him.) DOCTOR: Argh! He's dead! CLEAVES: We call it decommissioned. DOCTOR: You stopped his heart. He had a heart. Aorta, valves, a real human heart. And you stopped it. RORY: Jen? G-JENNIFER: What happened to Buzzer will happen to all of us if we trust you. DOCTOR: Wait, wait, just wait. RORY: No! (Rory jumps Cleaves and disconnects the power from the probe. The Gangers run away.) AMY: You idiot! DOCTOR: Wait! Look at what you have done, Cleaves. CLEAVES: If it's war, then it's war. You don't get it, Doctor. How can you? It's us and them now. Us and them. DICKEN: Us and them. JIMMY: (sighs) Us and them. [Acid room] G-JENNIFER: You tried. We all tried and look what they did. Us and them now. G-JIMMY: Us and them. G-DICKEN: Us and them. G-CLEAVES: Jennifer. G-JENNIFER: Buzzer warned you it was a trick and now he's dead. If we want to live, then it's time to go to war. I'll take care of the spare one running around out there. [Flesh room] (Jennifer hobbles in. The lips now have a body, but we don't see it.) VOICE: Trust me. (Jennifer runs.) [Dining hall] RORY: Look, I just wanted to help her. AMY: Well, we all do, okay? RORY: Don't be like that. Listen, she's AMY: I said I agree with you. Drop it. DOCTOR: The most fortified and defendable room in the monastery. Cleaves, the most fortified and defendable room in the monastery. CLEAVES: The chapel. DOCTOR: Thank you. CLEAVES: Only one way in. Stone walls two feet thick. DOCTOR: You've crossed one hell of a line, Cleaves. You've killed one of them. They're coming back, in a big way. (They are, dressed in the acid suits.) [Corridor] RORY [OC]: Jennifer! JENNIFER: Rory? (Her Ganger is watching her, stuck to the ceiling.) [Outside the Chapel] JIMMY: What about the flares? DOCTOR: We'll worry about the flares when we're locked inside. Rory, Pond. (There is a scream.) AMY: Rory, come on. RORY: Jen's out there. She's out there and she's on her own. DOCTOR: Well, if she's got any sense, then she's hiding. Rory! RORY: I can't leave her out there! DOCTOR: Rory. RORY: I know you understand that. AMY: Get in here. Get in here! (The Gangers approach. Rory ducks down a side corridor.) G-CLEAVES: There they are. DOCTOR: Amy. AMY: Rory! [Chapel] DOCTOR: Amy, they are not after him, they're after us. VOICE [OC]: Why? Why? DOCTOR: Show yourself. Show yourself! [Corridor] RORY: Jennifer? [Chapel] AMY: Doctor! CLEAVES: Pass me the barrel. DICKEN: We need something heavy. Anything you can find. (They barricade the door.) JIMMY: This is insane. We're fighting ourselves. DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, it's insane, and it's about to get even more insanerer. Is that a word? Show yourself, right now! AMY: Doctor, we are trapped in here and Rory's out there with them. Hello? We can't get to the Tardis and we can't even leave the island. G-DOCTOR: Correct in every respect, Pond. It's frightening, unexpected, frankly a total, utter splattering mess on the carpet, but I am certain, one hundred percent certain, that we can work this out. Trust me. I'm the Doctor. [Chapel] (The new Doctor is suffering.) G-DOCTOR: Argh. What's happening? I wonder if we'll get back. Yes, one day. Argh. I've reversed the polarity of the neutron flow. DOCTOR: The Flesh is struggling to cope with our past regenerations. Hold on. DOCTOR 4 [OC]: Would you like a jelly baby? G-DOCTOR: Why? Why? Why? DOCTOR: Why what? G-DOCTOR: Hello. I'm the Doctor. No, let it go, we've moved on. DOCTOR: Hold on, hold on, you can stabilise. G-DOCTOR: I've reversed the jelly baby of the neutron flow. Would you like a Doctor, Doctor, I'm, I'm the. I can't. DOCTOR: No, listen, hold on. Hold on. G-DOCTOR: No! Argh. (The other Gangers are trying to batter their way in. Then it all goes quiet.) BUZZER: I think I liked it best when they were being noisy. AMY: Mmm hmm. Doctor, we need you. Get over here. G-DOCTOR: Hello. AMY: Doctor. DOCTOR: Cybermats. G-DOCTOR: Do we have time for this? DOCTOR: We make time. I'd like more proof that you're me. Cybermats. G-DOCTOR: Created by the Cybermen. They kill by feeding off brainwaves. AMY: Are you sure there aren't any weapons to can get to, like big guns with bits on? BUZZER: Yeah, big guns would be good right now. JIMMY: Why would we have guns? We're a factory. We mine. AMY: Acid. (The door starts to dissolve and the Gangers recommence their battering.) DOCTOR: Rory and Amy, they may not trust both of us. G-DOCTOR: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? DOCTOR: Inevitably. G-DOCTOR: I'm glad we're on the same DOCTOR: Wavelength. You see, great minds. G-DOCTOR: Exactly. So, what's the plan? DOCTOR: Save them all, humans and gangers. G-DOCTOR: Tall order. Sounds wonderful. DOCTOR: Is that what you were thinking? It's just so inspiring to hear me say it. G-DOCTOR: I know. AMY: Doctor, come on. G-DOCTOR: So, what now, Doctor? DOCTOR: Well, time to get cracking, Doctor. BOTH: Hello. Sorry, but we had to establish a few ground rules. DOCTOR: Formulate a protocol. G-DOCTOR: Protocol? Very posh. DOCTOR: A protocol between us. Otherwise G-DOCTOR: It gets horribly embarrassing. DOCTOR: And potentially confusing. AMY: I'm glad you've solved the problem of confusing. G-DOCTOR: That's sarcasm. DOCTOR: She's very good at sarcasm. BOTH: Breathe. AMY: What? DOCTOR: We have to get you off this island. And the Gangers too. CLEAVES: Sorry, would you like a memo from the last meeting? They are trying to kill us! DOCTOR: They're scared. AMY: Doctor, we're trapped in here. DOCTOR: Right, See, I don't think so. The Flesh Bowl is fed by cabling from above. G-DOCTOR: But where are the earthing conduits? DOCTOR: All this piping must go down into a tunnel or a shaft or something, yes? With us? (He finds a grating in the wall.) DOCTOR: Yowza. An escape route. AMY: Yowza? DOCTOR: You know, I'm starting to get a sense of just how impressive it is to hang out with me. G-DOCTOR: Do we tend to say yowza? DOCTOR: That's enough, let it go, okay? We're under stress. (When the armoured Gangers break in, the Doctor is sonicking the grating shut again. The two Cleaves stare at each other briefly.) [Monastery] G-JENNIFER: Stop. Stop. Stop, stop. (Rory watches her go.) [Corridor] BUZZER: The army will send a recon team our. CLEAVES: We need to find a way to contact the mainland. AMY: What about Rory and Jen? They are both out there. DOCTOR: No, this place is a maze. Takes a long time to find someone in a maze. I bet you lot have got a computer map, haven't you? CLEAVES: If we can get power running, we can scan for them. Be a lot quicker. (They start coughing.) AMY: Doctor, you said earlier to breathe. DOCTOR: Very important, Pond. Breathe. AMY: Yeah, well, I'm struggling to. DOCTOR: Acid interacting with the stone. G-DOCTOR: Creating an asphyxiant miasma. CLEAVES: A what? DOCTOR: Choking gas. Extra heavy. If we can get above it. CLEAVES: The evac tower. It's this way. [Chapel] G-CLEAVES: Oh, damned headaches. I'm so tired. G-JIMMY: They could be anywhere. How are we going to find them? G-CLEAVES: Think about it. With all that gas out there, my guess would be the evac tower. Get above it, try to get power up. G-JIMMY: So? Let's stop them. G-CLEAVES: It's a narrow doorway. I could defend it easy enough. So can she. Ow. [Evac tower] AMY: Oh. I think I coughed so hard, I pulled a muscle or something. It's okay, it's better. It's easing off. (The church bell starts ringing.) JIMMY: It's midnight. It's Adam's birthday. My son's five. Happy birthday, bud. [Chapel] G-JIMMY: Happy birthday, Adam. He'll be so excited. Out of bed at the crack of dawn. It's funny, he's got this wee dance he does when he gets over-excited. G-JENNIFER: Listen to me. I tried to block the memories, but now I know I must remember. It's the eyes. The eyes are the last to go. G-JIMMY: What are you talking about? G-JENNIFER: When they destroy us, the eyes are the last things to melt. And there's one question in those eyes. Why? Why should we suffer for the sake of human beings? G-DICKEN: I heard in India there's over ten million Gangers. G-JENNIFER: We can reach out. Inspire them to rise up. G-CLEAVES: Revolution? Look, I just, I just want to be left to live in peace, Jen. G-JENNIFER: They will melt you. Have you become so human that you've forgotten the truth? Don't you remember all the times you were decommissioned, or should I say executed? G-CLEAVES: No, we don't remember. G-JENNIFER: Well, I do. It's us or them. G-JIMMY: She's right. G-JENNIFER: I have a plan, and it'll destroy them all. [Evac tower] (The two Doctors keep bobbing up and down behind the console. I think the Ganger is on our left and the original on our right, but I could be wrong.) CLEAVES: Can you really get the power back? G-DOCTOR: Oh, there's always some power floating around. DOCTOR: Sticking to the wires, like bits of lint. AMY: Can you stop finishing each other's DOCTOR: Sentences? No probs. G-DOCTOR: Yes. AMY: No, hang on. You said that the Tardis was stuck in acid, so won't she be damaged? DOCTOR: Nah, she's a tough old thing. Tough, old, sexy. G-DOCTOR: Tough, dependable, sexy. AMY: Come on. Okay, how can how can you both be real? G-DOCTOR: Well, because we are. I'm the Doctor. DOCTOR: Yeah and so am I. We both contain the knowledge of over nine hundred years of memory and experience. DOCTOR: We both wear the same bow tie, which is cool. G-DOCTOR: Because bow ties are DOCTOR: And always will be. AMY: But how did the Flesh read you? Because you weren't linked up to the it. DOCTOR: Well, it must've been after I examined it. Thus, a new, genuine Doctor was created. G-DOCTOR: Ta-da. AMY: No getting away from it. One of you was here first. DOCTOR: Well, okay. After the Flesh scanned me, I had an accident with a puddle of acid. Now, new shoes. A situation which did not confront me learned self here. G-DOCTOR: That satisfy you, Pond? AMY: Don't call me Pond, please. What? G-DOCTOR: Interesting. You definitely feel more affection for him than me. AMY: No, no, I. Look, you're fine and everything, but he's the Doctor. No offence. Being almost the Doctor is pretty damn impressive. G-DOCTOR: Being almost the Doctor's like being no Doctor at all. AMY: Don't overreact. G-DOCTOR: You might as well call me Smith. AMY: Smith? G-DOCTOR: John Smith. DOCTOR: Yes! Communication a go-go. (Cleaves rushes to the console.) AMY: Find Rory! Show me the scanning tracking screen. Come on, Rory, let's be having you. CLEAVES: There's no sign of him anywhere. AMY: Come on. Come on, baby, show yourself. [Monitoring station] G-JIMMY: You're right, there's power. G-CLEAVES: Well, boys, I don't know much, but I know my own minds. She'll be straight on the comlink to the mainland. [Evac tower] CLEAVES: Saint John's calling. Emergency Alpha. [Monitoring station] G-CLEAVES: Let's see if we can intercept. CLEAVES [OC]: Saint John's calling the mainland. Are you receiving me, Captain? Come in. [Evac tower] CLEAVES: We'll never get a signal through this storm. Saint John's calling the mainland. Come in, this is urgent. CAPTAIN [OC]: We're just about reading you, Saint John's. How are you doing? We've had all kinds of trouble here. [Monitoring station] CLEAVES [OC]: Request immediate evacuation. We're under attack. The storm's affected our Gangers. [Evac tower] CLEAVES: They're running amok. CAPTAIN [OC]: Your Gangers? CLEAVES: Yes, our Gangers are attacking us. We need you to take us off the island immediately and wipe them out. [Monitoring station] CAPTAIN [OC]: Copy that, Saint John's. Shuttle's despatched. Hang on. [Evac tower] CLEAVES: You'll need to airlift us off the roof of the evac tower. [Monitoring station] CLEAVES [OC]: And Captain, any further transmission sent by me must come with the following codeword. I'm typing it, in case they're listening in. G-CLEAVES: Oof. See how smart I am? That's why I'm paid the big bucks. CAPTAIN [OC]: Got it. We'll swing in, get you out and decommission the Flesh. G-CLEAVES: Jennifer's right. We're going to have to fight if we want to survive. [Thermostatic room] (The computer rejects Jennifer's handprint as non-human.) COMPUTER: Thermostatic override rejected. Can only be operated by recognised source. G-JENNIFER: I am recognised. I'm Jennifer Lucas. [Evac tower] BUZZER: We've got to get out of here. We are, we're going to get out. AMY: We're not leaving without them. BUZZER: I want them found too, but it's about casualties, innit? Can't be helped. AMY: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Making a phone call. AMY: Who to? DOCTOR: No one yet. It's on delay. AMY: Right. Not getting it. Why exactly are you making a phone call? DOCTOR: Because, Amy, I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams. The wheels are in motion. Done. AMY: You know really there can be only one. DOCTOR: Hmm? AMY: Oh, nothing. Carry on. Be amazing. (Amy is drawn to the far wall. A hatch opens and she sees the Eye Patch Lady again.) DOCTOR: Amy? What happened? AMY: It's her again. DOCTOR: It's who again? AMY: There's a woman I keep seeing. A woman with an eyepatch, and she has this habit of sliding walls open and staring at me. Doctor? DOCTOR: It's nothing. AMY: Doesn't seem like nothing. DOCTOR: It's a time memory. Like a mirage. It's nothing to worry about. G-DOCTOR: It's in my head. (The Ganger Doctor leaves.) JIMMY: Hey, hold on. CLEAVES: Don't let him go. AMY: No, leave it to me. [Outside the tower] AMY: I'm sorry. What I said about you being almost the Doctor, it's just really hard, because I've been through so much with him. I've even seen. I've even seen the moment of his. Can you die? If you really are the same, then you can die. You can be killed, and I might have seen that happen. G-DOCTOR: Why? AMY: Why? Because you invited us to see it. Your death. (He pushes Amy against the wall.) G-DOCTOR: Why? AMY: You're hurting me. G-DOCTOR: It's all the eyes say. Why? I can feel them as they work each day, knowing the time was coming for them to be thrown away again. Not again, please. And then they are destroyed and they feel death, and all they can say is, why? (He lets Amy go, and she runs back inside.) [Evac tower] DOCTOR: Why? (Amy enters, followed by the Ganger Doctor.) AMY: Keep him away from me. G-DOCTOR: Did you sense it? DOCTOR: Briefly. Not as strong as you. G-DOCTOR: Amy, I'm sorry. AMY: No, you keep away. We can't trust you. G-DOCTOR: It would appear I can connect to the Flesh. AMY: You are Flesh. G-DOCTOR: I'm beginning to understand what it's been through, what it needs. AMY: What you want. You are it. G-DOCTOR: It's much more powerful than we thought. The Flesh can grow, correct? CLEAVES: Its cells can divide. G-DOCTOR: Well, now it wants to do that at will. It wants revenge. It's in pain, angry. It wants revenge. AMY: I was right. You're not the Doctor. You can't ever be. You're just a copy. CLEAVES: Doctor, it might be best if you stayed over there for now, hmm? DOCTOR: Hold on a minute, hold your horses. I thought I'd explained this. I'm him, he's me. CLEAVES: Doctor, we have no issue with you, but when it comes to your Ganger DOCTOR: Don't be so absurd. CLEAVES: Buzzer. BUZZER: Sure, boss. (Buzzer puts out a barrel for the Ganger Doctor to sit on.) BUZZER: Take a seat, mate. G-DOCTOR: Nice barrel, very comfy. Why not? Is this really what you want? [Corridor] (Rory is still searching for Jennifer. He is now armed with a large stick.) JENNIFER [OC]: Help me. No, get away. RORY: Jen? Jen? [Crypt] (There are two identical Jennifers here.) JENNIFER: Rory? JENNIFER 2: I'm sorry. She found me. Rory, listen to me. JENNIFER: Don't listen to her. JENNIFER 2: I'm Jennifer Lucas. This woman is Flesh. [Evac tower] PILOT [OC]: This is the shuttle. We're right above you, but we can't get low enough. Gamma static could fry our nav-controls. Sit tight. We'll get to you. Just (The Doctor scans Cleaves with his sonic screwdriver.) JIMMY: Hello? Can you hear me? AMY: I can't find Rory. I'm going out there. DOCTOR: We could use the sonic to track him. Humans and Gangers give off slightly different signals. The sonic needs to tell the difference. AMY: Oh, so the sonic knows Gangers are different. The other Doctor is different. DOCTOR: He is the Doctor. AMY: Not to me. I can tell. DOCTOR: Sure you're not prejudiced? AMY: Nice try, but I know, okay? We've been through too much. You're my Doctor. End of. [Crypt] RORY: So one of you is human, and one of you I sat with and talked with. Why can't you just tell me the truth? The Doctor wants you to live, and I'm with him all the way. JENNIFER: That's a lovely idea, Rory, but the Flesh want to kill us now. RORY: You're limping. You're not. JENNIFER 2: So? So what? You think a Ganger can't put on a limp? RORY: Show me your leg. JENNIFER: It got burnt while I was in the harness. JENNIFER 2: She's lying. She's telling you what you want to hear. RORY: But look, you can't fake a burn. (Jennifer 2 attacks injured Jennifer.) RORY: No! No, you don't. Stop it. Stop it! Fighting each other is pointless. Come on. Please, please stop. Jen. Both Jens, stop it. No! (The fight ends with one Jennifer being pushed backwards into a pool of acid. It is the Ganger, and it dissolves into Flesh.) JENNIFER: She, she attacked me. I knew you'd find me. We're in this together, Rory, and we've got to trust each other. RORY: Okay. Come on, let's go. [Evac tower] BUZZER: Hey, there's a camera up. We've got a visual. AMY: That's Rory and Jennifer. CLEAVES: They're heading for the thermostatic room. AMY: Let's go get them. (The Doctor throws the sonic screwdriver to his counterpart.) AMY: Hang on. CLEAVES: We can't let him go. Are you crazy? DOCTOR: Am I crazy, Doctor? G-DOCTOR: Well, you did want to plumb your brain into the core of an entire planet just to halt its orbit and win a bet. AMY: He can't go rescue them. I'm going. DOCTOR: Do you know, I want him to go. And I'm rather adamant. BUZZER: Well then, he'll need company. Right, boss? It's fine. I'll handle it. G-DOCTOR: Thank you, Buzzer. It'll be all right. I'll find him. DOCTOR: Can't explain it to you now, but I need you to trust him. Can you do that for me, Amy? AMY: And what if you're wrong? [Thermostatic room] JENNIFER: This is the thermostatic chamber. We can stir the oxygen supply from here. RORY: What? JENNIFER: We're going to choke to death if we don't clean this air. Keep a look out in case of Gangers. Rory! RORY: What's wrong? JENNIFER: It's this wheel. It's just too tough for a girl to turn. Are you feeling strong? RORY: I'll break out the big guns. (Jennifer puts Rory's hand on the palm print scanner. Why?) JENNIFER: This first. COMPUTER: Human source recognised. (Rory turns the wheel.) COMPUTER: Thermostatic override granted. [Evac tower] CLEAVES: These temperature gauges are rising. Jennifer and Rory must have shut off the underground cooling vents. DICKEN: Why do that? They'll kill us. CLEAVES: There's a million gallons of boiling acid under our feet. DOCTOR: And now it's heating up the whole island. How long till it blows? (Rumble.) DICKEN: Gangers or no Gangers, we need to get the hell out of here. CLEAVES: Shuttle, we need evac. Where are you? Can you hear me? Can you (Cleaves is struck by a stabbing headache.) DOCTOR: Cleaves? Cleaves? Cleaves, sit down. CLEAVES: I'm fine. [Monitoring station] G-DICKEN: You don't look good. G-CLEAVES: Monsters never do. I'm fine. I remember medics doing tests. [Evac tower] CLEAVES: I'm waiting for results, so let it go. DOCTOR: It's a very deep parietal clot. CLEAVES: How can you possibly? Inoperable? DOCTOR: On Earth, yes. CLEAVES: Well, seeing as Earth's all that's on offer. Hmm. I'm no healthy spring chicken, and you're no weatherman. Right? (Big rumble.) AMY: Something just cracked. I heard it. DOCTOR: Yeah, we can't stay here. Let's go. JIMMY: He's right. Let's shift. CLEAVES: Cleaves to Shuttle. Respond. We need to move, and we can't be collected from the Evac tower. PILOT [OC]: Give us the codeword. CLEAVES: The codeword is (Rumble. Bang. Alarms.) DOCTOR: Cleaves? Cleaves, it's dead. It's dead. We need to get out of here. We need to get back downstairs and get those vents back on. Come on. [Monitoring station] G-CLEAVES: This is our chance. I can reroute the shuttle to the courtyard. G-JIMMY: You can't guess the codeword. G-CLEAVES: Yes, I can, Jimmy, because I created the codeword. Shuttle, do you read me? This is Foreman Cleaves. PILOT [OC]: Read you. You got cut off. Say again. What's the request? G-CLEAVES: You need to reroute and pick us up from the courtyard. PILOT [OC]: Courtyard. As soon as we can. Give me the codeword. G-CLEAVES: Shuttle, the codeword is Bad Boy. I repeat, Bad Boy. PILOT [OC]: Copy that. The courtyard. Still want us to take care of those Gangers? G-CLEAVES: Negative. They've all been incinerated. G-JIMMY: Bad Boy? Good call. G-CLEAVES: Yeah, well, it wasn't luck. We're the same person. [Down in the crypt area] JENNIFER: This room's always sealed. Power surge must have thrown the bolts. RORY: What is that? (A pile of uniforms with gunge and blank faces.) JENNIFER: Discarded Flesh. Faulty, probably. Just thrown away. Look at them. One of my old Gangers. (It opens its eyes.) JENNIFER: Left to rot, fully conscious. Can you imagine what kind of hell they're in? RORY: But Cleaves, the Company, how could they do this? How could they? JENNIFER: Who are the real monsters? RORY: We can't let this carry on. Jen, we have to make people see. JENNIFER: Okay, Rory. I have an idea. You came for me. We have a bond, right? We trust each other. RORY: Yeah. JENNIFER: So trust me on this. [Courtyard] G-DOCTOR: I'm getting something. BUZZER: Is it human? G-DOCTOR: Yeah, it's human, but it's fading. It's fading. This is bad. Fading is very bad. Argh. The signal's gone. She's dead. (They find Jennifer.) G-DOCTOR: She was hanging onto the edge of life and she just, just slipped away. Oh, Jennifer, I'm so sorry. She's been out here for hours. BUZZER: But if the real Jen's been lying out here? G-DOCTOR: Rory's in trouble. (Buzzer hits the Ganger Doctor over the head with his torch.) BUZZER: Sorry, pal. it's boss's orders. Us and them, innit? [Passageway] (Lots of Ganger eyes watching from the wall.) DOCTOR: Ah. The eyes have it. AMY: Why are they here? DOCTOR: To accuse us. CLEAVES: Ignore them. It's not far. [Staircase] (Another rumble.) BUZZER: I should have been a postman like me dad. G-JENNIFER [OC]: Shush. I'm here. I'm here. I'm with you. I know, it hurts. I'm sorry. Go to sleep. Sleep. [Crypt area] (Jennifer is stroking the discarded Flesh.) BUZZER: You killed her. You killed our Jen. G-JENNIFER: And I'm stronger, Buzz. I can grow. (She stretches her mouth open very, very wide and rushes at him. He screams off camera.) [Thermostatic room] DOCTOR: It's a chemical chain reaction now. I can't stop it. This place is going to blow sky high. CLEAVES: Exactly how long have we got? DOCTOR: An hour? Five seconds? Er, somewhere in between. (A klaxon wails.) DOCTOR: Out! [Passageway] (They meet Rory coming the other way.) RORY: Thank God. All right? AMY: Oh, Rory. Oh, Rory. RORY: There's a way out. Jennifer found it. A secret tunnel under the crypt. CLEAVES: From the crypt? It's not on the schematics. RORY: It runs right out of the monastery. Maybe even under the Tardis, Doctor. Follow me. [Courtyard] (The Ganger Doctor wakes to find the other Gangers standing over him.) G-DOCTOR: Got anything for a sore head? G-CLEAVES: This is how they'll always treat us. Do you see now? After all, you're one of us, Doctor. G-DOCTOR: Call me Smith. John Smith. [Acid room] JIMMY: We can't leave without Buzzer. CLEAVES: I'll go back for him. RORY: Er, Doctor, look. I'd better tell you. I haven't been quite straight with you. (Ganger Jennifer closes the door, locking the rest in.) [Outside the Acid room] DOCTOR: Rory! RORY: Hang on, Jen. We don't need to lock them up. We should just show them what we've found. G-JENNIFER: I don't think so. DOCTOR: Rory Pond, Roranicus Pondicus! AMY: Rory, What the hell are you playing at? RORY: They've been throwing away old Flesh and leaving it to rot. Alive. I think the world should see that. DOCTOR: Rory, there is no time. The factory's about to explode. RORY: Are you sure about this? Because I'm not. Let them out. G-JENNIFER: The little girl got strong. RORY: What? G-JENNIFER: The little girl lost on the moors in her red wellies, looking for a way home? Well, she got strong, Rory. I told you, remember? RORY: But that wasn't. It was the other Jennifer that told me about being a little girl. G-JENNIFER: Oh? What other Jennifer? RORY: Well, the, the er. Wait, you tricked me? Let me go. I'm opening the door. Let me. I'm sorry! (Ganger Jennifer drags Rory away.) AMY: No! G-CLEAVES: We have to be free. CLEAVES: I'm sorry too, Miranda. Of all the humans in the world, you had to pick the one with the clot. But hey, them's the breaks. Welcome to the human race. [Acid room] (The Doctor scans the acid vat with the sonic screwdriver, which I thought the Ganger Doctor had?) DOCTOR: This is going to overheat and fill the room with acid, just as a point of interest. CLEAVES: And we can't stop it? DOCTOR: Just as a point of interest? No. [Dining hall] RORY: You created another Ganger just to trick me. You tricked me. When I found you, you were both Flesh and you tricked me into trusting you. Jen's dead, isn't she? G-DOCTOR: She's gone, Rory. Gone. PILOT [OC]: Shuttle. We're dropping down on our approach. Stand by for evac. G-JENNIFER: The humans will be melted, as they deserve, and then the factory will be destroyed. Once we get to the mainland, the real battle begins. The humans won't stand a chance. You're one of us, Doctor. Join the revolution. RORY: I've got to go and get them out. (The Doctor pushes him back.) [Acid room] (Dicken is lowering the lid onto the vat.) JIMMY: It'll never hold her. DOCTOR: If you have a better plan, I'm all ears. In fact, if you have a better plan, I'll take you to a planet where everyone is all ears. [Dining hall] RORY: Doctor, we can't just let them die. (The Doctor checks his wrist watch.) G-DOCTOR: Ring, ring. RORY: Doctor! G-DOCTOR: Ring, ring. [Acid room] CLEAVES: The acid's eating through. [Dining hall] (The whole monastery shakes.) G-DOCTOR: Stay. RORY: Okay. (The telephone rings.) G-DOCTOR: Ah, that'll be the phone. Somebody get the phone. Jimmy, get the phone. No? Fine, I'll get the phone. Stay put. (It is a holographic communication system. A little boy in pajamas is standing underneath the words Morpeth Jetsan Pre-Booked Holo-Call 011-109-4455) COMPUTER: Thank you for booking your holo-call with Morpeth Jetsan, bringing the world together. G-DOCTOR: Ha! Hello, Adam, I'm the Doctor. Well, other Doctor. Or Smith. It's complicated and boring. Anyway, who cares. It's your birthday. ADAM: Yay. G-DOCTOR: Yay. Now, have you been getting up very early and jumping on the bed? ADAM: Yes, really high. G-DOCTOR: I expect chocolate for breakfast. If you don't feel sick by mid-morning, you're not doing it right. Now, I think you want to speak to Dad. ADAM: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Daddy? G-DOCTOR: You'll do, Jimmy. What does the other Jimmy matter now? You're both the same dad, aren't you? Come on, Adam's waiting. ADAM: Daddy? Daddy, what's that rumbly noise? What's going on, Daddy? Daddy? (Ganger Jimmy runs out.) G-JENNIFER: You've tricked him into an act of weakness, Doctor. G-DOCTOR: No, I've helped him into an act of humanity. Anyone else like the sound of that? Act of humanity. G-CLEAVES: Dicken, drain the acid well in Crypt One. G-JENNIFER: Don't you dare. G-CLEAVES: I've had it with this. What's the point in this ridiculous war? Look at you, Jen. You were a sweet kid. Look at you now. The stuff of nightmares. I don't want my world populated by monsters. G-JENNIFER: You can't stop the factory from melting down, boss. I'll take revenge on humanity with or without you. G-DOCTOR: It doesn't have to be about revenge. It can be so much better than that. (Jennifer runs out.) [Acid room] (Jimmy is trying to keep the lid on the boiling vat. He gets burnt by acid just before his Ganger comes in.) JIMMY: Argh. G-JIMMY: Let me through. DOCTOR: There's nothing we can do. The acid's reached his heart. G-JIMMY: Hang in there, mate. JIMMY: I'm quite handsome from this angle. G-JIMMY: I'm sorry. I'm the fake. Adam deserves his real dad. JIMMY: Shut up. G-JIMMY: What do you want me to do? Anything. Just say. JIMMY: The way things are, mate, it's up to you now. Be a dad. You remember how. (Jimmy hands over his wedding ring then dies.) DOCTOR: Jimmy Wicks, you're a dad. [Dining hall] ADAM: Daddy? Where's my daddy? (The rescued group enters. Amy and Rory hug. The two Cleaves stare at each other.) ADAM: Daddy, it's me. G-JIMMY: Hey, sunshine. What are you up to? ADAM: Opening all my presents. G-JIMMY: Ha ha, good lad. You have fun today. And remember your dad, he loves you very, very much. ADAM: When are you coming home? DOCTOR: Daddy's coming home today, Adam. ADAM: Yay. DOCTOR: Now we need to move. [Crypt] (Ganger Jennifer morphs into a ravening beast.) DOCTOR: Run. Run. Run! Ooo, roof's going to give.  (They get to a security door marked No Humans.) G-DICKEN: We have to stop her. This door doesn't lock. DICKEN: No, but the far one does. (Dicken runs back along the passage and struggles with the jammed door as the monster approaches. He finally gets it shut with himself on the wrong side.) DICKEN [OC]: Argh. G-DICKEN: No! G-DOCTOR: Here she comes. (The Tardis crashes through.) DOCTOR: Oh, she does like to make an entrance. (He opens the door.) DOCTOR: Everyone move. G-DOCTOR: Go. Go, go, go. G-CLEAVES: Get on board. Go.  CLEAVES: I'm not leaving. G-CLEAVES: Go. AMY: Hey, hey. Now's our chance. G-DOCTOR: I have to stay. Hold this door closed. Give you time to dematerialise. AMY: Oh, don't be crazy. Okay, what happens to you? DOCTOR: Well, this place is just about to explode. But I can stop her. AMY: Both of you can survive this, okay? There has to be a way. DOCTOR: Or perhaps you think I should stay instead? Mister Smith. AMY: No, of course not. But look, this man, I've flown with him, you know? And you are amazing and yeah, I misjudged you, but you're not him. I'm sorry. G-DOCTOR: Amy, we swapped shoes. DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. G-DOCTOR: And I'm the Flesh. AMY: You can't be. You're the real him. G-DOCTOR: No, I'm not, and I haven't been all along. AMY: What? DOCTOR: I'm the original Doctor, Amy. We had to know if we were truly the same. It was important, vital we learn about The Flesh, and we could only do that through your eyes. (Amy hugs the Ganger Doctor. I'm not going back and changing any designations in previous scenes. That would spoil it and make no sense.) AMY: I never thought it possible. G-DOCTOR: What? AMY: You're twice the man I thought you were. G-DOCTOR: Push, Amy. But only when she tells you to. RORY: Amy, come on! G-DOCTOR: Well, my death arrives, I suppose. DOCTOR: But this one, we're not invited to. G-DOCTOR: Pardon? DOCTOR: Nothing. Your molecular memory can survive this, you know. It may not be the end. (The Doctor throws a sonic screwdriver to his Ganger.) G-DOCTOR: Yeah, well, if I turn up to nick all your biscuits, then you'll know you were right, won't you. AMY: Doctor! No, please. G-DOCTOR: You too, Cleaves. Off you pop. G-CLEAVES: I'm staying. G-DOCTOR: This is not the time for grand gestures. G-CLEAVES: Says the king of grand gestures. This is my factory. I'm not going anywhere. G-DOCTOR: Foreman Miranda Cleaves, marvellous. Beware of imitations. G-CLEAVES: Clear off out of here, the lot of you. (The Doctor, Amy and Rory run into the Tardis to join the others. It dematerialises.) G-DOCTOR: This will dissolve her. G-CLEAVES: And us too. G-DOCTOR: There may be a way back from this. G-CLEAVES: From being vaporised? How? G-DOCTOR: Don't know. Let's find out, eh? (He flings open the door and fires the sonic screwdriver at Monster Jennifer.) DOCTOR: Geronimo. (The monster goes Splat! then so do they.) [Tardis] DOCTOR: The energy from the Tardis will stabilise the Gangers for good. They're people now. CLEAVES: And what happens to me? I still have this. DOCTOR: Ah, that's not a problem. I have something for that. It's small and red and tastes like burnt onions. Ha. But it'll get rid of your blood clot. (The Doctor throws a small vial to Cleaves, then plucks a red balloon from somewhere.) DOCTOR: Happy endings. [Beach] (The Doctor watches the family reunion from a distance.) G-JIMMY: Hey! Hello, bud.  ADAM: Daddy, you're back. G-JIMMY: Hello, my boy. How are you doing? [Morpeth Jetsan] (The Tardis parks herself in the big steel and glass company headquarters.) CLEAVES: You really want us to do this? DOCTOR: Your company's telling the world that the situation is over. You need to get in there and tell them that the situation's only just begun. Make them understand what they're doing to the Flesh. Make them stop. Dicken, remember, people are good. In their bones, truly good. Don't hate them, will you? G-DICKEN: How can I hate them? I'm one of them now. DOCTOR: Yeah. And just remember, people died. Don't let that be in vain. Make what you say in that room count. CLEAVES: Ready? Side by side. G-DICKEN: You got it, boss. (They open the door on the press conference.) REPORTER [OC]: Have the army dealt with the imposters, sir? WOMAN [OC]: What sort of threat is there to the public? AMY: You okay? DOCTOR: I said breathe, Pond. Remember? Well, breathe. AMY: Why? DOCTOR: Breathe. (Amy doubles over in pain.) AMY: Oh! RORY: Whoa. AMY: Oh. RORY: What's wrong with her? DOCTOR: Get her into the Tardis. AMY: Oh. [Tardis] RORY: Doctor! What is happening to her? DOCTOR: Contractions. RORY: Contractions? DOCTOR: She's going into labour. AMY: Did he say? No. No, no. Of course he didn't. Rory, I don't like this. Ow. RORY: You're going to have to start explaining some of this to me, Doctor. DOCTOR: What, the birds and the bees? She's having a baby. I needed to see the Flesh in its early days. That's why I scanned it. That's why we were there in the first place. I was going to drop you off for fish and chips first, but things happened and there was stuff and shenanigans. Beautiful word, shenanigans. AMY: It hurts. RORY: But you're okay? DOCTOR: Breathe. I needed enough information to block the signal to the Flesh. AMY: What signal? DOCTOR: The signal to you. AMY: Doctor. Doctor. DOCTOR: Stand away from her, Rory. RORY: Why? No. And why? DOCTOR: Given what we've learned, I'll be as humane as I can, but I need to do this and you need to stand away! (Rory slowly steps back.) AMY: No. No. Doctor, I am frightened. I'm properly, properly scared. DOCTOR: Don't be. Hold on. We're coming for you. I swear it. Whatever happens, however hard, however far, we will find you. AMY: I'm right here. DOCTOR: No, you're not. You haven't been here for a long, long time. (The Doctor aims his sonic screwdriver at her.) AMY: Oh, no. (Amy goes splosh. ) [Cubicle] (A hatch opens in the top.) EYE PATCH LADY: Well, dear, you're ready to pop, aren't you? Little one's on its way. Here it comes. Push! (Pregnant Amy screams.) [Online Prequel - Space Bar backroom] DORIUM: Gentlemen, good news. My agents have procured the exact security software that you requested. The very latest upgrade. I extracted it from the memory of a Judoon trooper. Well, I say extracted. It was quicker to take the whole brain. And to be honest, I don't think he's going to miss it. (A cloaked figure holds out its hand for the small box.) DORIUM: Ah, ah, ah. A small matter of payment, I think. (A pouch is held out, and he snatches it.) DORIUM: Delightful. Oh, I do enjoy sentient money, the way it wriggles. You'll find it in the frontal lobe. Should be quite easy, there's not a lot in there. But all this to imprison one child? Oh, I know what you're up to. I hear everything in this place. I even hear rumours about whose child you've taken. Are you mad? You know the stories about the Doctor, the things that man has done. God help us if you make him angry. [White room] (On Demon's Run, an asteroid modified into a habitation, a baby has been born. Her name is Melody Pond.) AMY: I wish I could tell you that you'll be loved, that you'll be safe and cared for and protected. But this isn't a time for lies. What you are going to be, Melody is very, very brave. (The Eye Patch Lady steps forward from the line of armed guards.) KOVARIAN: Two minutes. AMY: But not as brave as they'll have to be. Because there's someone coming. I don't know where he is, or what he's doing, but trust me, he's on his way. [Cyberspaceship] (Twenty thousand light years away, non-Cybus Industries logoed but otherwise identical cybermen stomps through the corridors.) CYBERMAN: Intruder level nine. CYBERLEADER: Seal level nine. [White room] AMY: There's a man who's never going to let us down, and not even an army can get in the way. (Madame Kovarian comes to take the baby.) AMY: Leave her. Just you leave her. Please leave her! Please, leave her! [Cyberspaceship] (The ship is shaking.) CYBERMAN: Intruder level eleven. CYBERLEADER: Seal levels twelve, thirteen and fourteen. CYBERMAN: Intruder, level fifteen. [White room] (Melody is in a high-tec Moses basket.) AMY: He's the last of his kind. He looks young, but he's lived for hundreds and hundreds of years. And wherever they take you, Melody, however scared you are, I promise you, you will never be alone. Because this man is your father. [Cyberspaceship] CYBERLEADER: Prepare to engage. [White room] AMY: He has a name, but the people of our world know him better [Cyberspaceship] AMY [OC]: As the Last Centurion. RORY: I have a message and a question. A message from the Doctor and a question from me. Where is my wife? Oh, don't give me those blank looks. The Twelfth Cyber Legion monitors this entire quadrant. You hear everything. So you tell me what I need to know. You tell me now, and I'll be on my way. CYBERLEADER: What is the Doctor's message? (Outside, all the other ships in the Legion explode.) RORY: Would you like me to repeat the question? [Docking bay] (Two Cleric soldiers are walking along.) LUCAS: A whole Cyber Legion though. He just blew them all up to make a point. DOMINICUS: We're being paid to fight him, not praise him. Praising costs way more. (They get into a lift.) LUCAS: Level Minus Twenty Three Transept. {Level -23] LUCAS: Digger says he once chased the Atraxi off a planet, then called them back for a scolding. DOMINICUS: Fight him, not praise him. TANNOY: Reminder. This base is on Yellow Alert. This base is on Yellow Alert.  (They pass a young woman doing some sewing.) [Control room] (The two Clerics have her on CCTV.) LUCAS: Is she sewing? DOMINICUS: She's on a break. She can do what she likes. Now try again. (He holds up two pieces of paper.) LUCAS: That one. DOMINICUS: No, that's the psychic. You've got to look for the fractals. Don't look bored, we're on Yellow Alert. LUCAS: We've been on Yellow Alert for three weeks. [Corridor] TANNOY: Reminder. Do not interact with Headless Monks without divine permission. Do not interact with Headless Monks without divine permission. FAT ONE: You're not supposed to stare at them. And if they think you're trying to see under their hoods, they'll kill you on the spot. THIN ONE: But why are they called the Headless Monks? They can't really be headless? LORNA: They believe the domain of faith is the heart, and the domain of doubt is the head. They follow their hearts, that's all. THIN ONE: You're Lorna Bucket, aren't you?  LORNA: Yeah. THIN ONE: Hello. I'm the Thin One. This is my husband. He's the Fat One. LORNA: Don't you have names? FAT ONE: We're the thin fat gay married Anglican marines. Why would we need names as well? (Three Headless Monks are 'looking' at them.) FAT ONE: Oh, looks like I'm off. Time for my conversion tutorial. See you in a bit. Do you lot have Lent? Because I'm not good at giving things up. (The Fat One leaves with the Monks.) THIN ONE: Lorna Bucket. You've had an Encounter, haven't you? You've met him. LORNA: I was just a kid. THIN ONE: But what's he like? The Doctor. LORNA: He said run. THIN ONE: Just run? LORNA: He said it a lot. THIN ONE: And this was in the Gamma Forests, yeah? Because you're a Gamma girl, aren't you? What are you doing here? The Forests are heaven neutral. LORNA: Yeah, and thirty seconds of the Doctor is the only thing that ever happened there. [Conversion chamber] (Red light.) FAT ONE: Oh, this is nice, I like this. I mean, quite a lot of red. I hope it's not to hide the stains. What's in the little boxes? VOICE [OC]: Welcome, applicant, to the order of the Headless. It is traditional for visiting armies of other faiths to offer individuals for conversion to our order. You have been selected. Are you ready to make a donation? (A Monk brings forward an empty box.) [Corridor] THIN ONE: So, what do you think? If the Doctor's really coming here, where is he? LORNA: He's the Doctor. He could be anywhere in time and space. [London, 1888 A.D.] (A horsedrawn cab pulls up and a woman gets out. She references Lady Penelope from Thunderbirds.) PARKER: Whoa! VASTRA: Thank you, Parker. I won't be needing you again tonight. PARKER: Yus, my lady. [Vastra's home] (The lady goes into her house and is greeted by her maid.) JENNY: You're back early, ma'am. Another case cracked, I assume? (The mysterious lady puts a Samuri sword back on its stand.) VASTRA: Send a telegram to Inspector Abberline of the yard. Jack the Ripper has claimed his last victim. JENNY: How did you find him? (The lady throws back her hood to reveal that she is a Silurian.) VASTRA: Stringy, but tasty all the same. I shan't be needing dinner. JENNY: Congratulations, ma'am. However, a matter has arisen in the drawing room. [Drawing room] JENNY: It just appeared. What does it mean? VASTRA: It means a very old debt is to be repaid. (It is the Tardis.) VASTRA: Pack the cases, Jenny. And we're going to need the swords. [The Battle of Zaruthstra, 4037 A.D.] HARCOURT: Nurse! Nurse! Damn it, where's the nurse! ELEANOR: He needs help. HARCOURT: Madame President, I'm sorry, but we have to go now! Those things could be here any second. (A little boy is lying on a bed in the tent. He is very still. A Sontaran warrior enters.) STRAX: Did somebody call for a nurse? (Strax tends to the boy.) ARTHUR: Will I be okay? STRAX: Of course you will, my boy. You'll be up and around in no time. And perhaps one day, you and I shall meet on the field of battle, and I will destroy you for the glory of the Sontaran Empire. ARTHUR: Thanks, Nurse. (Strax leaves, and Harcourt follows him.) HARCOURT: Commander Strax. I just have to ask. A Sontaran nurse? STRAX: I serve a penance to restore the honour of my clone batch. It is the greatest punishment a Sontaran can endure, to help the weak and sick. HARCOURT: Who came up with that one? (The sound of the Tardis materialising.) STRAX: Tonight, though, perhaps my penance is over. Captain Harcourt, I hope some day to meet you in the glory of battle, when I shall crush the life from your worthless human form. Try and get some rest. [Stormcage] (River Song is returning from a Regency era Frost Fair, by the looks of her clothes. The alarms are blaring. She picks up the guard's phone.) RIVER: Oh, turn it off. I'm breaking in, not out. This is River Song, back in her cell. Oh, and I'll take breakfast at the usual time. Thank you. (She sees a figure standing in the corridor.) RIVER: Oh, are you boys dressing up as Romans now? I thought nobody read my memos. RORY: Doctor Song. It's Rory. Sorry, have we met yet? Time streams. I'm not quite sure where we are. RIVER: Yes. Yes, we've met. Hello, Rory. RORY: What's wrong? RIVER: It's my birthday. The Doctor took me ice skating on the River Thames in 1814, the last of the great Frost Fairs. He got Stevie Wonder to sing for me under London Bridge. RORY: Stevie Wonder sang in 1814? RIVER: Yes, he did. But you must never tell him. RORY: I've come from the Doctor too. RIVER: Yes, but at a different point in time. RORY: Unless there's two of them. RIVER: Now, that's a whole different birthday. RORY: He needs you. (River checks her diary.) RIVER: Demon's Run. RORY: How, how did you know? RIVER: I'm from his future. I always know. Why on Earth are you wearing that? RORY: The Doctor's idea. RIVER: Of course. His rules of engagement. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. RORY: Look ridiculous. RIVER: Have you considered heels? RORY: They've taken Amy. And our baby. The Doctor's getting some people together. We're going after her, but he needs you, too. RIVER: I can't. Not yet, anyway. RORY: I'm sorry? RIVER: This is the Battle of Demon's Run. The Doctor's darkest hour. He'll rise higher than ever before and then fall so much further, and I can't be with him till the very end. RORY: Why not? RIVER: Because this is it. This is the day he finds out who I am. [Space bar] (A large blue skinned alien is packing a small case.) DORIUM: Goodbye. KOVARIAN: You appear to be closing down, Dorium. What have you heard? DORIUM: That you pricked the side of a mighty beast, Madame Kovarian, and entirely failed to run. I admire your courage. I should like to admire it from afar. KOVARIAN: We've been waiting a month. He's done nothing. DORIUM: Do you really think so? There are people all over this galaxy that owe that man a debt. By now, a few of them will have found a blue box waiting for them on their doorstep, poor devils. MANTON: You think he's raising an army? DORIUM: You think he isn't? If that man is finally collecting on his debts, God help you, and God help his debtors. MANTON: Why? DORIUM: Colonel Manton, all those stories you've heard about him, they're not stories, they're true. Really. You're not telling me you don't know what's coming? MANTON: We're wasting our time here. KOVARIAN: Agreed. DORIUM: The asteroid, where you've made your base. Do you know why they call it Demon's Run? MANTON: How do you know the location of our base? DORIUM: You're with the Headless Monks. They're old customers of mine. KOVARIAN: It's just some old saying. DORIUM: A very old saying. The oldest. Demons run when a good man goes to war. (Kovarian and Manton leave. Dorium is about to leave when the Tardis sound is heard.) DORIUM: No. No, no, please. Not me. You don't need me. Why would you need me? I'm old, I'm fat, I'm blue. You can't need me! [Demon's Run] (Colonel Manton addresses his assembled troops.) MANTON: He is not the devil. He is not a god. He is not a goblin, or a phantom or a trickster. The Doctor is a living, breathing man, and as I look around this room I know one thing. We're sure as hell going to fix that. (The troops cheer.) [White room] (Amy is watching the rally from her window. Lorna enters.) LORNA: Sorry. I shouldn't be here. I'm meant to be at the thing. I brought you something. Your child's name in the language of my people. It's a prayer leaf and we believe, if you keep this with you, your child will always come home to you. (It is what she was sewing earlier.) AMY: Can I borrow your gun? LORNA: Why? AMY: Because I've got a feeling you're going to keep talking. (She turns back to the window.) AMY: They're talking like he's famous. The Doctor isn't famous. LORNA: He meets a lot of people. Some of them remember. He's sort of like a, I don't know, a dark legend. AMY: Dark? Have you met him? LORNA: Yeah. But I was just a little girl. AMY: So was I. LORNA: You've been with him a long time, then. AMY: No. He came back for me. LORNA: You must be very special. AMY: Hey. You can wait a long time for the Doctor, but he's worth it, okay? The thing is, he's coming. No question about it. Just you make sure you're on the right side when he gets here. Not for my sake, for yours. (Amy takes the prayer leaf.) AMY: Thank you. [Demon's Run] MANTON: On this day, in this place, the Doctor will fall. ALL: Hoo Rah! MANTON: The man who talks, the man who reasons, the man who lies, will meet the perfect answer. ALL Hoo Rah! "MANTON; Some of you have wondered why have we have allied ourselves with the Headless Monks. Perhaps you should have wondered why we call them Headless. It's time you knew what these guys have sacrificed for faith. As you all know, it is a Level One Heresy, punishable by death, to lower the hood of a Headless Monk. But by the divine grant of the Papal Mainframe herself, on this one and only occasion, I can show you the truth. Because these guys never can be persuaded." (Colonel Manton lowers one Monk's hood. It has no head, just the skin of the neck tied off..) MANTON: They never can be afraid. (A second hood lowered.) MANTON: And they can never, ever be (The third hood reveals -) DOCTOR: Surprised! Ha, ha! Hello, everyone. Guess who. Please, point a gun at me if it helps you relax. (The army takes aim, except for Lorna. The Monks get their flaming swords ready.) DOCTOR: You're only human. [Control room] (Lucas and Dominicus have very sharp swords at their throats.) VASTRA: Go on, resist. I am ever so hungry. JENNY: Now, dear. Which button controls the lights? [Demon's Run] MANTON: Doctor, you will come with me right now. DOCTOR: Three minutes forty seconds. Amelia Pond! Get your coat! (The lights go out for a few seconds.) DOCTOR [OC]: I'm not a phantom. MANTON: Doctor? DOCTOR [OC]: I'm not a trick. MANTON: Doctor? DOCTOR [OC]: I'm a monk. MANTON: Doctor, show yourself. MAN: It's him! He's here! It's him! (The army faces off against the Monks. A shot is fired.) MANTON: Weapons down! Do not fire! (A Monk kills a soldier.) MANTON: No! KOVARIAN: Follow me. MANTON: Doctor! Doctor! [Control room] (Lucas and Dominicus are tied up and sitting on the floor.) JENNY: Clever, isn't he? VASTRA: And rather attractive. JENNY: You do realise he's a man, don't you, ma'am? VASTRA: Mammals. They all look alike. JENNY: Oh, thank you. [Demon's Run] MANTON: Do not fire. Nobody discharge their weapon in this room. Nobody! Do not fire! (A sonic screwdriver is in use.) [Control room] (Lucas is eyeing the door lock control.) VASTRA: Was I being insensitive again, dear? I don't know why you put up with me. (She turns and lashes Lucas with her extendible tongue.) [Demon's Run] MANTON: Stop. Wait. Listen to me. I am disarming my weapon pack. Monks, I do this in good faith. I am now unarmed. All of you, discharge your weapon packs. The Doctor is trying to make fools of us. We are soldiers of God. We are not fools. We are not fools. We are not fools. We are not fools. SOLDIER: We are not fools! MANTON: We are not fools. SOLDIERS: We are not fools. MANTON: We are not fools. SOLDIER 2: We are not fools. [Control station] VASTRA: Colonel Manton is regaining control. JENNY: Where's the Doctor gone? [Demon's Run] (Lorna has left the assembly and found a discarded habit in a corridor. She runs on.) ALL: We are not fools. We are not fools. We are not fools. (Silurians beam in to the galleries around the assembly. Some Judoons appear, too) STRAX: This base is now under our command. MANTON: I have a fleet out there. If Demon's Run goes down, there's an automatic distress call. DOCTOR [OC]: Not if we knock out your communications array. And you've got incoming. PILOT [OC]: Danny Boy to the Doctor. Danny Boy to the Doctor. DOCTOR: Give 'em hell, Danny Boy. (The Spitfires strafe the asteroid's communications array.) [Corridor] KOVARIAN: I need to get off this station now. Bring me the child! [Demon's Run] PILOT [OC]: Target destroyed. STRAX: Don't slump. It's bad for your spine. [Outside the airlock] (Madame Kovarian's guard have brought Melody in her sealed up Moses basket.) KOVARIAN: Get back in there with the rest of them. Remember, the Doctor must think he's winning, right until the trap closes. I'll take my ship from here. (Lorna has overheard her.) COMPUTER: Airlock engaged. Shuttle ready for boarding. RORY: No. KOVARIAN: I have a crew of twenty. How do you expect to gain control of my ship? (The airlock opens. A pirate captain and his young son step out.) AVERY: This ship is ours, milady. [Control room] (Strax marches Manton in at gunpoint.) STRAX: All airlocks sealed. Resistance neutralised. DOCTOR: Sorry, Colonel Manton. I lied. Three minutes forty two seconds. STRAX: Colonel Manton, you will give the order for your men to withdraw. DOCTOR: No. Colonel Manton, I want you to tell your men to run away. MANTON: You what? DOCTOR: Those words. Run away. I want you to be famous for those exact words. I want people to call you Colonel Run Away. I want children laughing outside your door, because they've found the house of Colonel Run Away. And, when people come to you, and ask if trying to get to me through the people I love is in any way a good idea, I want you to tell them your name. Oh, look, I'm angry. That's new. I'm really not sure what's going to happen now. KOVARIAN: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules. DOCTOR: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many. KOVARIAN: Give the order. Give the order, Colonel Run Away. [White room] (Someone is hammering at the door. Amy rummages in a drawer and finds what might be an electric toothbrush.) AMY: Who's that? Who's there? You watch it, because I'm armed and really dangerous, and cross. RORY [OC]: Yeah, like I don't know that. AMY: Rory? Rory, is that you. RORY [OC]: Yeah, it's me. Look, hang on a minute. (It sounds like Rory is trying to sonic his way in.) AMY: They took her. Rory, they took our baby away. (The door opens. Rory is carrying Melody.) RORY: Now, Mrs Williams, that is never, ever going to happen. AMY: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Where's she been? What have they done to her? RORY: She's fine. Amy, she's fine. I checked. She's beautiful. Oh God, I was going to be cool. I wanted to be cool. Look at me. AMY: You're okay. Crying Roman with a baby. Definitely cool. Come here, you. DOCTOR: Urgh. Kissing and crying. I'll, I'll be back in a bit. RORY: Oi, you. Get in here, now. My daughter. What do you think? DOCTOR: Hello. Hello, baby. AMY: Melody. DOCTOR: Melody? Hello, Melody Pond. RORY: Melody Williams. AMY: Is a geography teacher. Melody Pond is a superhero. DOCTOR: Well yes, I suppose she does smell nice. Never really sniffed her. Maybe I should give it a go. Amelia Pond, come here. AMY: Doctor. DOCTOR: I'm sorry we were so long. AMY: It's okay. I knew you were coming. Both of you. My boys. DOCTOR: It's okay. She's still all yours. And really, you should call her mummy, not big milk thing. AMY: Okay, what are you doing? DOCTOR: I speak Baby. AMY: No, you don't. DOCTOR: I speak everything, don't I, Melody Pond. No, it's not. it's cool. VASTRA: Doctor? Take a look. They're leaving. Demon's Run is ours without a drop of blood spilled. My friend, you have never risen higher. [Outside the Tardis] (Amy carried Melody out of the Tardis.) RORY: Hey, what's wrong? AMY: She doesn't like the Tardis noise. I asked him to turn something off, but it was all, but I don't want to punch a hole in the space-time continuum. Shush. JENNY: Rory! The Judoon have escorted the Clerics out of the quadrant. Spitfires have returned to their own time. Captain Avery and his men are going. Is she all right? AMY: Yes, she's just crying. STRAX: Give her to me, human fool. She needs changing. AMY: I just changed her. I think she might need a feed. STRAX: A feed, of course. I'll take care of everything. RORY: Er, I really don't think you will, actually. STRAX: I have gene-spliced myself for all nursing duties. I can produce magnificent quantities of lactic fluid. (The Doctor comes out of the Tardis with a wooden cot that has an orrary dangling over it.) DOCTOR: She's not hungry, she's tired. Sorry, Melody, they're just not listening. AMY: What's this? DOCTOR: Very pretty, according to your daughter. RORY: It's a, it's a cot. DOCTOR: No flies on the Roman. Give her here. AMY: Hey, there we go. RORY: But where would you get a cot? AMY: It's old. Really old. Doctor, er, do you have children? DOCTOR: No. AMY: Have you ever had children? DOCTOR: No, it's real. It's my hair. AMY: Who slept in here? VASTRA [OC]: Doctor, we need you in the main control room. DOCTOR: Be right there! Things to do. I've still got to work out what this base is for. We can't leave till we know. AMY: But this is where I was? The whole time I thought I was on the Tardis, I was really here? DOCTOR: Er, Centurian, permission to hug? RORY: Be aware, I do have a sword. DOCTOR: At all times. You were on the Tardis, too. Your heart, your mind, your soul. But physically, yes, you were still in this place. AMY: And when I saw that face looking through the hatch, that woman looking at me. DOCTOR: Reality bleeding through. They must have taken you quite a while back. Just before America. RORY: That's probably enough hugging now. So her Flesh avatar was with us all that time. But that means they were projecting a control signal right into the Tardis wherever we were in time and space. DOCTOR: Yeah, they're very clever. AMY: Who are? RORY: Whoever wants our baby. AMY: But why do they want her? DOCTOR: Exactly. RORY: Is there anything you're not telling us? You knew Amy wasn't real. You never said. DOCTOR: Well, I couldn't be sure they weren't listening. AMY: But you always hold out on us. Please, not this time. Doctor, it's our baby. Tell us something. One little thing. DOCTOR: It's mine. RORY: What is? DOCTOR: The cot. It's my cot. I slept in there. AMY: Oh, my God. It's the Doctor's first stars. RORY: She's (Amy wipes Melody's dribble with the prayer leaf.) STRAX: Drop your weapons. State your rank and intent. I found it listening at the door. (It is Lorna.) [Control room] DOCTOR: You've hacked into their software, then? DORIUM: I believe I sold it to them. DOCTOR: Ooo. So what have we learned? VASTRA: That anger is always the shortest distance to a mistake. DOCTOR: I'm sorry? VASTRA: The words of an old friend who once found me in the London Underground, attempting to avenge my sisters on perfectly innocent tunnel diggers. DOCTOR: Well, you were very cross at the time. VASTRA: As you were today, old friend. Point taken, I hope. Now, I have a question. A simple one. Is Melody human? DOCTOR: Sorry, what? Of course she is. Completely human. What are you talking about? DORIUM: They've been scanning her since she was born, and I think they found what they were looking for. DOCTOR: Human DNA. VASTRA: Look closer. Human plus. Specifically, human plus Time Lord. [Outside the Tardis] LORNA: I heard her talking. This is a trap. Why would I lie to you? RORY: Well, you might want to take a look at your uniform. LORNA: The only reason I joined the Clerics was so I could meet the Doctor again. JENNY: You wanted to meet him, so you joined an army to fight him? LORNA: Well, how else do you meet a great warrior? AMY: He's not a warrior. LORNA: Then why is he called the Doctor? (The lights go out.) LORNA: It's starting. Please, listen to me. [Control room] DOCTOR: But she's human. She's Amy and Rory's daughter. VASTRA: You've told me about your people. They became what they did through prolonged exposure to the time vortex. The Untempered Schism. DOCTOR: Over billions of years. It didn't just happen. VASTRA: So how close is she? Could she even regenerate? DOCTOR: No, no. I don't think so. VASTRA: You don't sound so sure. DOCTOR: Because I don't understand how this happened. VASTRA: Which leads me to ask when did it happen? DOCTOR: When? VASTRA: I am trying to be delicate. I know how you can blush. When did this baby begin? DOCTOR: Oh, you mean VASTRA: Quite. DOCTOR: Well, how would I know? That's all human-y, private stuff. It just sort of goes on. They don't put up a balloon, or anything. VASTRA: But could the child have begun on the Tardis in flight, in the vortex. DOCTOR: No! No! Impossible! It's all running about, sexy fish vampires and blowing up stuff. And Rory wasn't even there at the beginning. Then he was dead, then he didn't exist, then he was plastic. Then I had to reboot the whole universe. Long story. So, technically the first time they were on the Tardis together in this version of reality, was on their w VASTRA: On their what? DOCTOR: On their wedding night. [Outside the Tardis] STRAX: Confirmed. No life forms registering on this base, except us and the Silurians. LORNA: The Headless Monks aren't alive. They don't register as life forms. (And one is creeping up on a Silurian warrior.) [Control room] DOCTOR: It doesn't make sense. You can't just cook yourself a Time Lord. VASTRA: Of course not. But you gave them one hell of a start, and they've been working very hard ever since. DORIUM: And yet they gave in so easily. Does this not that bother anyone else? DOCTOR: Amy. She worried the baby would have a time head. She said that VASTRA: Only you would ignore the instincts of a mother. DORIUM: Or the instincts of a coward. This is too easy. There's something wrong. DOCTOR: Why even do it? Even if you could get your hands on a brand new Time Lord, what for? VASTRA: A weapon? DOCTOR: Why would a Time Lord be a weapon? VASTRA: Well, they've seen you. DOCTOR: Me? VASTRA: Mister Maldovar, you're right. This was too easy. We should get back to the others. (Vastra and Dorium leave.) DOCTOR: Me? (The Doctor thinks back to the warehouse in 1969.) RIVER [memory]: I'd say she's human, going by the life-support software. She climbed out of the suit, like she forced her way out. She must be incredibly strong. KOVARIAN [on screen]: I see you accessed our files. Do you understand yet? Oh, don't worry, I'm a long way away. But I like to keep tabs on you. The child, then. What do you think? DOCTOR: What is she? KOVARIAN [on screen]: Hope. Hope in this endless, bitter war. DOCTOR: What war? Against who? KOVARIAN [on screen]: Against you, Doctor. [Outside the Tardis] (The Monks are on the move. A white light cone appears around the Tardis.) AMY: What's that? VASTRA: A force field. LORNA: And those are the doors locking. VASTRA: Apparently we're not leaving. RORY: Is that the Monks? DORIUM: Oh, dear God. That's the attack prayer. RORY: Quick, come with me. VASTRA: Commander Strax! STRAX: I'm trying to seal off this area of the lighting grid. VASTRA: This is where we'll make our stand. Clear lines of sight on all approaches. (Rory hides Amy and Melody behind some boxes.) AMY: Rory, no offence to the others, but you let them all die first, okay? RORY: You're so Scottish. VASTRA: Centurian, you're needed! LORNA: There should be some plasma pistols somewhere. They left everything. STRAX: Then find them, boy! VASTRA: She's definitely a girl. JENNY: Oh, stop it! DORIUM: We don't have to fight them. I'm friends to the Monks. They know me. RORY: Yeah, and they know you just sold them out to the Doctor. DORIUM: Oh, they'll understand it's only me. Only silly old me. You understand, don't you? VASTRA: Mister Maldovar, get back here! STRAX: Arm yourself, fool! RORY: Dorium! (Dorium walks into the darkness, arms outstretched. There is a swish of metal, and something falls to the floor.) VASTRA: Mister Maldovar? RORY: Dorium? (Two Monks escort the headless Dorium back into view.) VASTRA: The child. At all costs, protect the child! [Control room] DOCTOR: A child is not a weapon! KOVARIAN [on screen]: Oh, give us time. She can be. She will be. DOCTOR: Except you've already lost her, and I swear I will never let you anywhere near her again. KOVARIAN [on screen]: Oh, Doctor. Fooling you once was a joy, but fooling you twice the same way? It's a privilege. DOCTOR: Amy. Amy. [Outside the Tardis] (The fight is on as the Doctor runs. Madame Kovarian appears through a hatch behind Amy.) RIVER [OC]: Demons run when a good man goes to war. Night will fall and drown the sun, when a good man goes to war. Friendship dies and true love lies, night will fall and the dark will rise, when a good man goes to war. DOCTOR: Amy! RIVER [OC]: Demons run but count the cost. The battle's won, but the child is lost. DOCTOR: Amy!  KOVARIAN: Wakey, wakey. DOCTOR: Amy! (Melody suddenly goes splat in Amy's arms.) AMY: Rory? Rory! Rory! (The Doctor is behind a locked door.) DOCTOR: Amy, she's not real! Melody, she's a Flesh avatar. Amy! (The Doctor runs in. Everything is quiet.) DOCTOR: Amy! Amy. RORY: Yeah, we know. (The Monks are dead, and Strax is wounded.) STRAX: It's strange. I have often dreamed of dying in combat. I'm not enjoying it as much as I'd hoped. RORY: Come on, Strax. Don't give up. STRAX: It's all right. I've had a good life. I'm nearly twelve. RORY: Listen to me. You'll be back on your feet in no time. You're a warrior. STRAX: Rory, I'm a nurse. (The Doctor goes to where Jenny is comforting Amy.) AMY: So they took her anyway. All this was for nothing. DOCTOR: I am so sorry. JENNY: Amy, it's not his fault. AMY: I know. I know. VASTRA: Doctor, there's someone who wants to speak to you. Her name is Lorna. She came to warn us. (Lorna is also dying.) DOCTOR: Hey. Hello. LORNA: Doctor. DOCTOR: You helped my friends. Thank you. LORNA: I met you once, in the Gamma Forests. You don't remember me. DOCTOR: Hey, of course I remember. I remember everyone. Hey, we ran, you and me. Didn't we run, Lorna? (Lorna dies.) DOCTOR: Who was she? VASTRA: I don't know, but she was very brave. DOCTOR: They're always brave. They're always brave. VASTRA: So, what now? They'd almost certainly have taken her to Earth. Raise her in the correct environment. DOCTOR: Yes, they did. And it's already too late. VASTRA: You're giving up? You never do that. DOCTOR: Yeah, and don't you sometimes wish I did? (There is a flash of lightning.) RIVER: Well then, soldier. How goes the day? DOCTOR: Where the hell have you been? Every time you've asked, I have been there. Where the hell were you today? RIVER: I couldn't have prevented this. DOCTOR: You could have tried! RIVER: And so, my love, could you. I know you're not all right. But hold tight, Amy, because you're going to be. DOCTOR: You think I wanted this? I didn't do this. This, this wasn't me! RIVER: This was exactly you. All this. All of it. You make them so afraid. When you began, all those years ago, sailing off to see the universe, did you ever think you'd become this? The man who can turn an army around at the mention of his name. Doctor. The word for healer and wise man throughout the universe. We get that word from you, you know. But if you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forests, the word Doctor means mighty warrior. How far you've come. And now they've taken a child, the child of your best friends, and they're going to turn her into a weapon just to bring you down. And all this, my love, in fear of you. DOCTOR: Who are you? RIVER: Oh look, your cot. Haven't seen that in a very long while. DOCTOR: No, no, you tell me. Tell me who you are. RIVER: I am telling you. Can't you read? (The Old High Gallifreyan on the cot.) DOCTOR: Hello. RIVER: Hello. DOCTOR: But but that means RIVER: I'm afraid it does. DOCTOR: Ooo. But you and I, we, we, we, er (kiss kiss) RIVER: Yes. (The Doctor is getting all excited with anticipation.) DOCTOR: How do I look? RIVER: Amazing. DOCTOR: I'd better be. RIVER: Yes, you'd better be. DOCTOR: Vastra and Jenny, till the next time. Rory and Amy, I know where to find your daughter, and on my life, she will be safe. River, get them all home. RORY: Doctor! AMY: No! Where are you going? (The Doctor takes down the forcefield around the Tardis and goes inside.) AMY: No! (The Tardis dematerialises.) AMY: Where's he going and what did you tell him? RIVER: Amy, you have stay calm. (Amy picks up a gun.) AMY: Tell me what you told the Doctor. RORY: Amy, no. Stop it! RIVER: It's okay, Rory. She's fine. She's good. It's the Tardis translation matrix. It takes a while to kick in with the written word. You have to concentrate. AMY: I still can't read it. RIVER: It's because it's Gallifreyan and doesn't translate. But this will. (The prayer leaf.) RIVER: It's your daughter's name in the language of the Forest. AMY: I know my daughter's name. RIVER: Except they don't have a word for Pond, because the only water in the forest is the River. The Doctor will find your daughter, and he will care for her whatever it takes. And I know that. It's me. I'm Melody. I'm your daughter. [Online Prequel - Tardis] (The phone is ringing until the answerphone cuts in.) DOCTOR [OC]: Oh blimey, okay, you probably leave a message at the tone or something. Sorry, I wasn't really trying to do this. I was looking for the mikes. (beep) AMY [OC]: Doctor? Doctor, can you hear me? Are you ever going to hear this? You don't even know you've got an answerphone. How can you be so clever and so completely stupid at the same time? If you can hear this, please just pick up the phone. Don't get confused. I'm not invisible or trapped in a space bubble or something. I'm just talking on the answerphone. Just pick up the phone. You said you'd find my baby. You said you'd find Melody. Have you found her? Because you promised. I know she's going to be okay, I know she'll grow up to be River, but it's not the point. I don't want to miss all those years, you know, and I can't stand it. I can't. Please, Doctor, please. Okay, phone me back when you know something. Please, Doctor, at least do that, as soon as you know. All right, bye. (beep) (The Doctor hangs his head.) [Car] (Rory is driving through a corn field very fast. Amy is navigating by tulip symbols, like on a road rally.) AMY: Okay, left. Sharp turn! Okay, right. No, no, no, I mean left. No, sorry, right, right. I definitely meant right. Now loop the loop. (More corn gets crushed beneath the tyres.) AMY: Stop! Stop! (And there, in the middle of the crop circle they have just made, is the Tardis. The Doctor comes out, holding a copy of the Leadworth Chronicle with the headline Leadworth's Crop Circle.) DOCTOR: Seriously? (They have made the word Doctor in the field.) RORY: Well, you never answer your phone. AMY: Okay, you've had all summer. Have you found her? Have you found Melody? DOCTOR: Permission? RORY: Granted. (The Doctor gives the newspaper to Rory and hugs Amy.) DOCTOR: You know who she grows up to be, so you know I will find her. AMY: But you haven't yet. RORY: Hang on. What's this bit? (There is a line through the middle of their crop design in the photograph.) AMY: That wasn't us. (Another car is driving towards them through the corn.) ALL: Argh! (They dive for safety as the Chevrolet Corvette skids to a halt by the Tardis. A young woman gets out wearing a River Song type costume.) MELS: You said he was funny. You never said he was hot. RORY: Mels! AMY: What are you doing here? MELS: Following you. What do you think? RORY: Er, where did you get the car? (Police sirens in the distance.) MELS: It's mine. Ish. AMY: Oh, Mels, not again. RORY: You can't keep doing this. You're going to end up in prison. DOCTOR: Sorry. Hello. Doctor not following this. Doctor very lost. You never said I was hot? MELS: Is that the phone box? The bigger on the inside phone box? Oh, time travel. That's just brilliant. Yeah, I've heard a lot about you. I'm their best mate. DOCTOR: Then why don't I know you? I danced with everyone at the wedding. The women were all brilliant. The men were a bit shy. MELS: I don't do weddings. (The sirens get closer.) MELS: And that's me out of time. (Mels pulls a gun on the Doctor.) AMY: Mels! RORY: For God's sake! AMY: What are you doing? MELS: I need out of here, now. (A helicopter is coming, too.) DOCTOR: Anywhere in particular? MELS: Well, let's see. You've got a time machine, I've got a gun. What the hell. Let's kill Hitler. [Amy's bedroom] (Back when they were children. Amelia is getting her Doctor toys out of a cardboard box.) YOUNG MELS: Is he hot? AMELIA: No, he's funny. YOUNG MELS: But how can he travel in time? AMELIA: Because he's got a time machine, stupid. (A little boy enters.) YOUNG RORY: I thought we were playing hide and seek. I've been hiding for hours. AMELIA: Well, we just haven't found you yet. YOUNG RORY: Okay. Hi, Mels. YOUNG MELS: Hi, Rory. (Young Rory leaves.) [Classroom] WOMAN TEACHER: Mels, did you not understand the question? I'm asking you why the Titanic sank? YOUNG MELS: Because the Doctor didn't save it. Except you don't know about the Doctor because you're stupid. [School] (Mels leaves the Headmaster's Study.) AMELIA: Why are you always in trouble? You're the most in trouble in the whole school, except for boys. YOUNG MELS: And you. AMELIA: I count as a boy. (Rory is blindfolded for a game that they were playing earlier.) YOUNG RORY: Am I getting warm? AMELIA: Yes, Rory. [Classroom] (The children are now teenagers.) TEACHER: Mels? MELS: A significant factor in Hitler's rise to power was the fact that the Doctor didn't stop him. [School] (After another visit to the Headmaster.) AMY: I can't keep doing this. [Police station] (Mels is let out of a cell. They've all left school by now.) AMY: Mels! [Amy's bedroom] MELS: It was late. I took a bus. RORY: Er, you stole a bus. AMY: Who steals a bus? MELS: I returned it. RORY: You drove it through the Botanical garden. MELS: Short cut. AMY: Why can't you just act like a person? Like a normal legal person? MELS: I don't know, maybe I need a Doctor. AMY: Stop it. RORY: Er, I'd better go. I'm on earlies tomorrow. AMY: Okay. MELS: It's all right for you. You've got Mister Perfect keeping you right. AMY: He's not even real. Just a stupid dream when I was a kid. MELS: No, I wasn't talking about him. AMY: What, Rory? How have I got Rory? RORY: Yeah, how, how's she got me? AMY: He's not mine. RORY: No. No. I'm not hers. MELS: Oh, come on. Seriously, it's got to be you two. Oh, cut to the song. It's getting boring. AMY: Nice thought, okay, but completely impossible. RORY: Yeah, impossible. AMY: I mean, I'd love to. He's gorgeous. He's my favourite guy. But he's, you know RORY: A friend. AMY: Gay. RORY: I'm not gay. AMY: Yes, you are. RORY: No. No, I'm not. AMY: Course you are. Don't be stupid. In the whole time I've known you, when have you shown any interest in a girl? MELS: Penny in the air. AMY: I mean, I've known you for, what, ten years? I've seen you practically every day. Name one girl you've paid the slightest bit of attention to? (Rory flees.) AMY: Oh, my God! Rory! (Amy runs after him.) MELS: And the penny drops. AMY [OC]: Rory! MELS: Catch you later, Time Boy. [Tardis] (The Tardis is out of control.) DOCTOR: You've shot it! You shot my Tardis! You shot the console! MELS: It's your fault! DOCTOR: Argh! How's it my fault? MELS: You said guns didn't work in this place. You said we're in a state of temporal grace. DOCTOR: That was a clever lie, you idiot! Anyone could tell that was a clever lie. [Teselecta] (Berlin, 1938. A cleaner turns to watch an Nazi General walking down a corridor in the Reich Chancellory with a creak and click of gears. A man watches through its eyes on a bank of monitors.) CARTER: Okay, we like him. ANITA: Costume want to know about the suit. CARTER: Just colour and shape. Don't need anything detachable. JIM: Musculature good to go. CARTER: That was quick. JIM: They're showing off. Art department want to talk skin tone. HARRIET: Yes, I do. I don't trust the sensors, I want to take a look myself. JIM: We're in a hurry. We're not trying to win an award. HARRIET: Yeah, that's what you said when we made Rasputin green. CARTER: Okay, get your fat one up there. Run! HARRIET: Yes, Captain. CARTER: Harriet's going to eyeball. Everyone else, good to go, please. [Office] (The General is going through a filing cabinet when the cleaner enters.) ZIMMERMAN: What do you want? What are you doing? [Teselecta] ANITA: Musculature online. JIM: Five foot eleven, confirmed. (The cleaner grows to the same height as the General.) CARTER: Harriet, are you up there yet? (Harriet's wrist monitor goes red.) ANTIBODY: Welcome. You are unauthorised. Your death will now be implemented. CARTER: Harriet, have you updated your privileges? [Teselecta eye level] HARRIET: Yes, of course I have. (The monitor turns green again.) HARRIET: Look, I'm staff, see? Look, staff! ANTIBODY: You are authorised. Your existence will continue. [Office] ZIMMERMAN: I don't understand. (The cleaner's overalls transform into a replica of his uniform.) [Teselecta eye level] CARTER [OC]: Harriet, shift! HARRIET: Five seconds to eyeball. (Harriet opens the internal shield and looks out of the pupil.) HARRIET: Shades forty four to eighty nine, peaking at sixty. Standard density. He's sweating a bit, so compensate. [Office] ZIMMERMAN: What are you? [Teselecta] CARTER: All hands, prepare for tessellation. Prepare for tessellation. (The cleaner transforms into a duplicate General Zimmerman. He slumps back against the filing cabinet as the double reaches for him, and takes his glasses.) CARTER: Okay, clean up. (A beam of light from the Teselecta's eye transports the General onto the eye level catwalk.) ZIMMERMAN: Argh! CARTER: Who is he? ANITA: Eric Zimmerman. Loyal member of the Nazi Party. Guilty of Category Three hate crimes. CARTER: Well, then. Leave him to the Antibodies. [Teselecta eye level] (The Antibodies look like metallic jellyfish.) ANTIBODY: Welcome. You are unauthorised. Your death will now be implemented. Welcome. You will experience a tingling sensation and then death. Remain calm while your life is extracted. (Zimmerman vanishes with a scream.) [Hitler's work study] HITLER: What do you want? Who let you in here? (Faux Zimmerman strides forward.) [Teselecta] (The Captain's coffee cup falls of the arm of his chair.) CARTER: What's wrong with the shock absorbers? JIM: Problem in the knees. CARTER: Let's hope we don't have to run. [Hitler's work study] ZIMMERMAN: Do not call for help. This room has been sound screened. You have been found guilty. Justice mode activating. (White light streams from the Teselecta to Hitler.) [Teselecta] JIM: Hang on! This is 1938. We're too early. We need to go later in his time stream. ANITA: Something else. We've got incoming! CARTER: On screen. What the hell is that? [Hitler's work study] (The Tardis crashes through the windows of the Chancellery, knocking the Teselecta over.) DOCTOR: Out, out, out! Everybody out. Don't breathe the smoke, just get out! AMY: Where are we? DOCTOR: A room. RORY: What room? DOCTOR: I don't know what room. I haven't memorised every room in the universe yet. I had yesterday off. Mels, don't go in there. (The Doctor takes Mels' gun away.) MELS: Oi. DOCTOR: Bad smoke. Don't breathe the bad, bad, smoke. Bad, deadly smoke because somebody shot my Tardis! (Rory has gone to Zimmerman.) RORY: Doctor. This guy, I think he's hurt. [Teselecta] CARTER: Transmit normal life signs! JIM: Artificial gravity holding, but we should get upright when we can. [Hitler's work study] RORY: No, hang on. No, he's fine. (The Doctor puts the gun in a fruit bowl. It's owner gets up from behind his desk.) DOCTOR: Ooo, hello. Sorry, is this your office? Had a sort of collision with my vehicle. Faults on both sides, let's say no more about (Then they sees who he is talking to) DOCTOR: It. RORY: Who? AMY: Is that? No, it can't be, Doctor? HITLER: Thank you, whoever you are. I think you have just saved my life. DOCTOR: Believe me, it was an accident. HITLER: What is this thing? AMY: What did he mean, we saved his life? We could not have just saved Hitler. DOCTOR: You see? You see? Time travel, it never goes to plan. HITLER: This box. What is it? DOCTOR: It's a police telephone box from London, England. That's right, Adolf. The British are coming. (Zimmerman stands up.) HITLER: No, stop him! (The Doctor ducks as Hitler shoots Zimmerman.) [Teselecta] CARTER: Damage report! Damage report! [Hitler's work study] (Rory punches Hitler and grabs his gun.) RORY: Sit still, shut up. (Amy goes to Zimmerman.) AMY: Are you okay? (Carter uses the speaker.) ZIMMERMAN: Yes, yes. Yes, I'm fine. I think he missed. HITLER: He was going to kill me. RORY: Shut up, Hitler! DOCTOR: Rory, take Hitler and put him in that cupboard over there. Now do it. RORY: Right. Putting Hitler in the cupboard. Cupboard, Hitler. Hitler, cupboard. Come on. HITLER: But I am the Fuhrer! RORY: Right, in you go! HITLER: Who are you? (Rory shuts Hitler in a large cupboard lined with shelves.) [Teselecta] DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: Are you okay? ANITA: Sir, what do we do know? JIM: Suggestion, we should go into surveillance mode. CARTER: Agreed. Let's faint. [Hitler's work study] "ZIMMERMAN; Oh, I" RORY: I think he just fainted. DOCTOR: Yes, that was a faint. A perfect faint. AMY: Mels? MELS: Hitler DOCTOR: What about him? MELS: Lousy shot. (Mels collapses, clutching her side.) AMY: Mels! Mels! DOCTOR: Rory! RORY: No, no, no, no! I've got to stop the bleeding. [Teselecta] JIM: Sir, that blue box. I've got a match. We're trying to bag war criminals, we've got the biggest one ever right under our noses. Forget Hitler. If we take this one down, the Justice Department will give us the rest of the year off. CARTER: Are you sure? JIM: There's no question. It's her. AMY: How bad is it? Rory, what can we do? RORY: Just keep her conscious. Stay with us, Mels. DOCTOR: Hey, look at me. Just hold on. MELS: I used to dream about you. All those stories Amy used to tell me. DOCTOR: What stories? Tell me what stories. Vampires in Venice. That's a belter. MELS: When I was little, I was going to marry you. DOCTOR: Good idea, let's get married. You stay alive and I'll marry you, deal? Deal? MELS: Shouldn't you ask my parents permission? DOCTOR: As soon as you're well, I'll get on the phone. MELS: Might as well do it now, since they're both right here. Penny in the air. Penny drops. (Mels, obviously short for Melody rather than Melissa, begins to regenerate.) RORY: What the hell's going on? DOCTOR: Back! Back! Back! Get back! MELS: Last time I did this, I ended up a toddler in the middle of New York. AMY: Okay, Doctor, explain what is happening, please. DOCTOR: Mels. Short for MELS: Melody. AMY: Yeah. I named my daughter after her. DOCTOR: You named your daughter after your daughter. MELS: It took me years to find you two. I'm so glad I did. And you see? It all worked out in the end, didn't it. You got to raise me after all. AMY: You're Melody? RORY: But if she's Melody, that means that she's also MELS: Shut up, Dad. I'm focusing on a dress size. (And Mels transforms into -) RIVER: Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa! Right, let's see, then. Ooo, it's all going on down there, isn't it? The hair! Oh, the hair. It just doesn't stop, does it? Look at that. Everything changes. Oh, but I love it. I love it! I'm all sort of mature. (She strikes a Mrs Robinson pose.) RIVER: Hello, Benjamin. DOCTOR: Who's Benjamin? RIVER: The teeth. The teeth, the teeth! Oh, look at them. (River pins the Doctor against Hitler's desk.) RIVER: Watch out that bow tie. Excuse me, you lot. I need to weigh myself. (She runs off into a side room.) AMY: That's Melody. RORY: That's River Song. RIVER: Who's River Song? DOCTOR: Spoilers. RIVER: Spoilers? What's spoilers? Hang on, just something I have to check. RORY: Is anybody else finding today just a bit difficult? I'm getting a sort of banging in my head. AMY: Yeah, I think that's Hitler in the cupboard. RORY: That's not helping. DOCTOR: This isn't the River Song we know yet. This is her right at the start. Doesn't even know her own name. RIVER [OC} Oh, that's magnificent! RIVER: I'm going to wear lots of jodhpurs. [Teselecta] CARTER: Well, that's her all right. Melody Pond, the woman who kills the Doctor. [Hitler's work study] RIVER: Well, now, enough of all that. Down to business. (She has somehow got Hitler's gun.) DOCTOR: Oh, hello. I thought we were getting married. RIVER: I told you I'm not a wedding person. RORY: Doctor, what's she doing? DOCTOR: What she's programmed to. RORY: Where'd she get the gun? DOCTOR: Hello, Benjamin. RIVER [memory]: Hello, Benjamin! (She picked it up from the chair.) RIVER: You noticed. (She tries to fire it, but the chambers are empty.) DOCTOR: Of course I noticed. (He took the bullets out while she was regenerating.) DOCTOR: As soon as I knew you were coming, I tidied up a bit. RIVER: I know you did. RIVER [memory]: Watch out that bow tie. (She spotted the gun in the fruit bowl.) DOCTOR: I know you know. (He turns the bowl and she points a banana at him instead.) RIVER: Goodness, is killing you going to take all day? DOCTOR: Why? Are you busy? RIVER: Oh, I'm not complaining. (She grabs a letter opener and he sonicks it away.) DOCTOR: If you were in a hurry, you could've killed me in the cornfield. RIVER: We'd only just met. I'm a psychopath. I'm not rude. (She grabs Zimmerman's automatic, but the Doctor has the clip.) AMY: You are not a psychopath. Why would she be a psychopath? RIVER: Oh, Mummy, Mummy, pay attention. I was trained and conditioned for one purpose. I was born to kill the Doctor. DOCTOR: Demons Run, remember? This is what they were building. My bespoke psychopath. RIVER: I'm all yours, sweetie. (She kisses him lightly.) DOCTOR: Only River Song gets to call me that. RIVER: And who's River Song? DOCTOR: An old friend of mine. RIVER: Stupid name. Oh, look at that. Berlin on the eve of war. A whole world about to tear itself apart. Now that's my kind of town. Mum, Dad, don't follow me. And, yes, that is a warning. DOCTOR: No warning for me then? RIVER: No need, my love. The deed is done and so are you. (The Doctor staggers.) AMY: Doctor, what's wrong? DOCTOR: What have you done? River! RIVER: Oh, River, River, River. More than a friend, I think. DOCTOR: What have you done? RIVER: It was never going to be a gun for you, Doctor. The man of peace who understands every kind of warfare, except, perhaps, the cruellest. RIVER [memory]: I'm all yours, sweetie. RIVER: Kiss, kiss. (River jumps out of the broken window.) RORY: What's wrong with you? What's she done to you? DOCTOR: Poisoned me. But I'm fine. Well, no, I'm dying, but I've got a plan. AMY: What plan? DOCTOR: Not dying. See? Fine. [Teselecta] ANITA: Scanning him. He's dying all right. JIM: But he can't be. [Hitler's work study] RORY: Okay, what do we do? How do we help you? DOCTOR: Take this. The Tardis can home in on it. Now, go. Get after her. (The Doctor gives Amy the screwdriver. Rory looks out of the first floor window onto the street.) [Wilhelmstrasse] (An officer and five soldiers stop River at gunpoint.) OFFICER: Halt! RIVER: Hello, boys. [Hitler's work study] AMY: You said the smoke was deadly. DOCTOR: No, no, the smoke's fine. The poison will kill me first. Now, get after River! AMY: I don't understand, okay? One minute she's going to marry you and then she's going to kill you. DOCTOR: Ah, well, she's been brainwashed. It all makes sense to her. Plus, she is a woman. Oh, shut up. I'm dying. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Extractor fans on! Oh, that works. [Wilhelmstrasse] OFFICER: What are you doing here? RIVER: Well, I was on my way to this gay Gypsy Bar-Mitzvah for the disabled, when I thought gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish. I think I'll kill the Fuhrer. Who's with me? OFFICER: Shoot her. (Rory watches as the soldiers fire lots of bullets.) RORY: No! RIVER: Tip for you all. Never shoot a girl while she's regenerating. (River blasts them with her golden energy then takes their weapons.) RIVER: Ah! Now, that hit the spot. Thanks, boys. Call me. (River gets on a motorbike.) AMY: What are you doing? RIVER: New body, new town. I'm going shopping. (River drives away. A soldier come out on another bike.) RIVER: Look, I know how this looks. Let me explain everything from the beginning. (The soldier starts to try and get his gun from its holster.) RORY: Heil! SOLDIER: Heil! (Rory hits him.) RORY: Come on! AMY: Can you ride a motorbike? RORY: I expect so. It's that sort of day. (They drive off and the soldier gets up. It is -) [Teselecta] CARTER: Okay. This time, let's do the bike, too. (They grow a motorbike and drive off after Rory and Amy and River.) JIM: You see, he can't be dying. CARTER: But the Doctor is confirmed deceased. We have his records. JIM: But he doesn't die here. He dies in Utah, by Lake Silencio, April the twenty second, 2011. ANITA: Time can be rewritten. Remember Kennedy? JIM: This time can't. It's a confirmed fixed point. The Doctor must always die exactly then. He always has and he always will. CARTER: Then someone's screwed up, because he's dying right now. [Tardis] (The Doctor is on his knees.) DOCTOR: I'm shutting down. I need an interface. Voice interface. Come on, emergency. HOLO-DOCTOR: Voice interface enabled. DOCTOR: Oh no, no, no, no, no. Give me someone I like. (Holo-Rose Tyler.) DOCTOR: Oh, thanks. Give me guilt. (Holo-Martha Jones.) DOCTOR: Also guilt. (Holo-Donna Noble.) DOCTOR: More guilt. Argh. Come on, there must be someone left in the universe I haven't screwed up yet. HOLO-AMELIA: Voice interface enabled. DOCTOR: Oh. Oh, Amelia Pond, before I got it all wrong. My sweet little Amelia. HOLO-AMELIA: I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface. DOCTOR: Hey, let's run away and have adventures. Come along, Pond. HOLO-AMELIA: I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface. DOCTOR: You are so Scottish. How am I doing? HOLO-AMELIA: Your system has been contaminated by the poison of the Judas tree. You will be dead in thirty two minutes. DOCTOR: Okay. So, basically better regenerate, that's what you're saying. HOLO-AMELIA: Regeneration disabled. You will be dead in thirty two minutes. DOCTOR: Unless I'm cured, yeah? HOLO-AMELIA: There is no cure. You will be dead in thirty two minutes. DOCTOR: Why do you keep saying that? HOLO-AMELIA: Because you will be dead in thirty two minutes. DOCTOR: You see? There you go again. Basically skipping thirty one whole minutes when I'm absolutely fine. Scottish, that's all I'm saying. HOLO-AMELIA: You will be fine for thirty one minutes. You will be dead in thirty two minutes. DOCTOR: Scotland's never conquered anywhere, you know. Not even a Shetland. River needs me. She's only just beginning. I can't die now. HOLO-AMELIA: You will not die now. You will die in thirty two minutes. DOCTOR: I'm going out in the first round. Ringing any bells? Argh! Okay, need something for the pain now. Come on, Amelia. It's me. Please. HOLO-AMELIA: I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface. DOCTOR: Amelia, listen to me. I can be brave for you, but you have got to tell me how. HOLO-AMELIA: I am not Amelia Pond. I am a voice interface. DOCTOR: Amelia. Amelia, please. HOLO-AMELIA: Fish fingers and custard. DOCTOR: What did you say? Fish fingers and custard? Oh, Amelia Pond. Fish fingers and custard. Fish fingers and custard! [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] (The elite of Berlin are wining and dining in style as a string quartet plays. Their pleasure is interrupted by a hail of bullets.) RIVER: Ladies and gentleman, I don't have a thing to wear. Take off your clothes. [Outside Hotel Adlon] RORY: Okay, all of Berlin. How do we find her? AMY: I don't know. Look for clues. RORY: Clues? What kind of clues? AMY: Shut up. (Screaming, then men and women running out of the hotel dressed only in their underwear.) RORY: Okay. (The Teselecta pulls up beside them. It is now a replica of Amy.) [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] RIVER: Now, look at that. Now that's fun from every angle. (Amy enters. But which one?) RIVER: Now dear, I told you not to follow me. [Teselecta eye level] RORY: Okay. Okay, I am trapped inside a giant robot replica of my wife. I'm really trying not to see this as a metaphor. AMY: How can we be in here? RORY: Er. AMY: How do we fit? RORY: Miniaturisation ray. AMY: How would you know that? RORY: Well, there was a ray, and we were miniaturised. AMY: All right. ANTIBODY: Welcome. You are unauthorised. Your death will now be implemented. AMY: Er, what's that? RORY: Er, I don't know. It's in your head. ANTIBODY: Please remain calm while your life is terminated. AMY: We come in peace! RORY: When has that ever worked? AMY: Oh, shut up! (They try to run but are trapped.) ANTIBODY: Please cooperate in your officially sanctioned termination. It is normal to experience fear during your incineration. AMY: Stop or I sonic. RORY: What are you doing? AMY: Er, I don't know. RORY: Okay. Psychic interface. Just point and think. AMY: I know, but what do I think? RORY: I don't know! (The lift doors open. Jim is there.) JIM: It's okay. Stay still and don't move. (He puts green monitors on their wrists.) JIM: Privileges activated. See? Activated. ANTIBODY: You are authorised. Your existence will continue. JIM: And you can put your hands down. This is Justice Department Vehicle six zero one eight. You're not guilty of anything. Welcome aboard the Teselecta. [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] RIVER: I might take the age down a little, just gradually, to freak people out. TESELECTA-AMY: You killed the Doctor. RIVER: Oh yes, I know, dear. I hope you're not going to keep on about it. Oh, regeneration. It's a whole new colouring to work with. (River is trying on a Luftwaffe uniform.) TESELECTA-AMY: You killed the Doctor on the orders of the movement known as the Silence and Academy of the Question. You accept and know this to be true? RIVER: Quite honestly, I don't really remember. It was all a bit of jumble. (Teselecta Amy opens its mouth and a bright beam hits River's head.) RIVER: No! No! Get off me! DOCTOR: Sorry, did you say she killed the Doctor? The Doctor? Doctor who? (The Doctor is leaning against his Tardis, wearing evening clothes, top hat and carrying a cane.) [Teselecta] CARTER: You said he was dying. ANITA: He is. JIM: When you're done here, your memories will be wiped and you'll be able to AMY: Doctor? [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] RIVER: You're dying and you stopped to change? DOCTOR: Oh, you should always waste time when you don't have any. Time is not the boss of you. Rule four hundred and eight. Amelia Pond, judgment death machine. Why am I not surprised? Sonic cane. RIVER: Are you serious? [Teselecta] DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: Never knowingly. Never knowingly be serious. [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] DOCTOR: Rule twenty seven. You might want to write these down. Oh, it's a robot. [Teselecta] DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: With four hundred and twenty three life signs inside. A robot [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] DOCTOR: Worked by tiny people. Love it. But how do you all get in there, though. [Teselecta] DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: Bigger on the inside? No, basic miniaturisation sustained by a [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] DOCTOR: Compression field. Ooo. Watch what you eat, it'll get you every time. [Teselecta] DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: Amy, if you and Rory are okay, signal me. (Amy activates the sonic screwdriver, and the cane lights up.) DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: Thanking you. CARTER: How'd you do that? [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] DOCTOR: Argh! I'm so sorry. Leg went to sleep. Just had a quick left leg power nap. I forgot I had one scheduled. Actually, better sit down. I think I heard the right one yawning. (River tries to run. The Teselecta grabs her with its beam.) DOCTOR: Don't you touch her! Do not harm her in any way! (River is trapped in an energy field.) [Teselecta] CARTER: Why would you care? She's the women who kills you. [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] DOCTOR: I'm not dead. TESELECTA-AMY: You're dying. DOCTOR: Well, at least I'm not a time travelling shape shifting robot operated by miniaturised cross people, which, I have got to admit, I didn't see coming. What do you want with her? TESELECTA-AMY: She's Melody Pond. [Teselecta] CARTER: According to records, the woman who kills the Doctor. [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] DOCTOR: And I'm the Doctor. So what's it to you? [Teselecta] CARTER: Throughout history, many criminals have gone unpunished in their lifetimes. Time travel has responsibilities. [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] DOCTOR: What? You got yourselves time travel, so you decided to punish dead people? [Teselecta] CARTER: We don't kill them. We extract them near the end of their established timelines. DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: And then what? CARTER: Give them hell. [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] DOCTOR: I'd ask you who you think you are [Teselecta] DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: But I think the answer is pretty obvious. So, who do you think [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] DOCTOR: I am, huh? The woman who killed the Doctor. It sounds like you've got my biography in there. I'd love a peek. [Teselecta] CARTER: Our records office is sealed to the public. Foreknowledge is dangerous. [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] DOCTOR: Yeah, well, I'll be dead in three minutes. [Teselecta] DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: There isn't much foreknowledge left. CARTER: Sorry, can't do that. AMY: That man is my best friend. That woman is my daughter. You give him anything he wants. JIM: If she's family, she has privileges. (Carter taps keys on Amy's green wrist band.) JIM: Say access personal records, the Doctor. AMY: Access personal records, the Doctor. [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] TESELECTA-AMY: Records available. DOCTOR: Question. I'm dying. Who wants me dead? TESELECTA-AMY: The Silence. DOCTOR: What is the Silence? Why is it called that? What does it mean? TESELECTA-AMY: The Silence is not a species. It is a religious order, or movement. Their core belief is that silence will fall when the question is asked. DOCTOR: What question? TESELECTA-AMY: The first question. The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight. DOCTOR: Yes, but what is the question? TESELECTA-AMY: Unknown. DOCTOR: Oh. Well, fat lot of use that is, you big ginge. Call yourself a Records argh! Argh! Kidneys are always the first to quit. I've had better, you know. [Teselecta] ANITA: Okay, he's finished. AMY: Oh, my God. CARTER: Well then, let's do what we do. Give her hell. [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] (The white forcefield turn to red painful energy around River.) DOCTOR: Amy. Rory. Amy [Teselecta] DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: Can you hear me? AMY: Yeah? CARTER: You can talk to him. [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] TESELECTA-AMY: What do we do? [Teselecta] AMY: This is me. This is me actually talking. [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] TESELECTA-AMY: What do we do? DOCTOR: Just stop them. She's your daughter. Just stop them. [Teselecta] AMY: How? How? [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] TESELECTA-AMY: How? DOCTOR: Just do it! [Teselecta] JIM [memory]: Privileges activated, see? DOCTOR [memory]: She's your daughter. Just stop them. RORY: What are you doing? AMY: Pointing and thinking. Get ready to run. (Amy zaps her wrist band with the sonic screwdriver. It turns red and alarms sound.) ANTIBODY: You are unauthorised. Your death will now be implemented. AMY: Okay, Captain. Release her now, or I take down the whole Teselecta. RORY: Amy. CARTER: You can't. AMY: They can. (Anita and Jim's wrist bands turn red.) AMY: Rory, go! ANTIBODY: All privileges withdrawn. JIM: What have you done? ANTIBODY: All life forms prepare for immediate decease. You will experience a tingling sensation and then death. (Rory and Amy are in the lift. The Antibody lassoes Anita's throat.) CARTER: Shut it down. JIM: I'm trying! CARTER: Shut everything down! [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] (River is released from the hell-energy.) DOCTOR: Please. Now we have to save your parents. Don't run. Now, I know you're scared, but never run when you're scared. Rule seven. Please. [Teselecta body] ANTIBODY: Remain calm while your life is extracted. AMY: Run! Keep running. RORY: Where? AMY: I don't know. Just run! [Teselecta] CARTER: Mothership! Mothership, get us out of here! Emergency beam up now! Everyone! (Only the Antibodies remain on the bridge.) ANTIBODY: Only two life forms remain. This will be rectified. [Teselecta body] AMY: Where'd everyone go? RORY: How can they just disappear? AMY: Doctor, can you help us? Doctor? Doctor, help us! [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] TESELECTA-AMY: Doctor, help us! Doctor, please! (The dying Doctor struggles to his feet and tries to make his way to the Tardis. He can't make it.) TESELECTA-AMY: Doctor! Help! RIVER: Look at you. You still care. TESELECTA-AMY: Doctor, help! Doctor, help us! Please help us. RIVER: It's impressive, I'll give you that. DOCTOR: River, please. RIVER: Again? Who is this River? She's got to be a woman. Am I right? DOCTOR: Help me. Save Amy and Rory. Help me. RIVER: Tell me about her. Go on. DOCTOR: Just help me. [Teselecta eye level] (Rory and Amy are at the eyeball and surrounded by lots of Antibodies.) ANTIBODY: You are unauthorised. You are unauthorised. Your death will now be implemented. AMY: I love you. RORY: I love you too. (Amy and Rory hug each other, then there is the wind of a materialising Tardis.) ANTIBODY: You are unauthorised. Your death will now be implemented. [Tardis] (It materialises around Amy and Rory.) AMY: Doctor? Doctor, you did it. He did it! (River steps out from behind the console.) RIVER: I seem to be able to fly her. She showed me how. She taught me. The Doctor says I'm the child of the Tardis. What does he mean? AMY: Where is he? [Hotel Adlon Restaurant] AMY: You can't die now. I know you don't die now. DOCTOR: Oh, Pond, you've got a schedule for everything. AMY: But it doesn't make any sense. RORY: Doctor, what do we do? Come on. How do we help you? DOCTOR: No. Sorry, Rory, you can't. Nobody can. Ponds, listen to me. I need to talk to your daughter. (Rory and Amy move away from the Doctor, and let River approach.) DOCTOR: Find her. Find River Song and tell her something from me. RIVER: Tell her what? (The Doctor whispers in her ear.) RIVER: Well, I'm sure she knows. (The Doctor is dead.) RIVER: Who's River Song? AMY: Are you still working? Because I'm still a relative. Access files on River Song. TESELECTA-AMY: Records available. AMY: Show me her. Show me River Song. (The Teselecta transforms.) AMY: What did he say? The Doctor gave you a message for River Song. What was it? (River starts to glow.) AMY: What's happening? River, what are you doing? RIVER: Just tell me. The Doctor, is he worth it? AMY: Yes! Yes, he is! (River pours her golden regeneration energy into the Doctor, and he revives.) DOCTOR: River. No. What are you doing? RIVER: Hello, sweetie. (River kisses the Doctor.) [Hospital] (River wakes up in a bed.) AMY: Hey. RIVER: Hey. Where am I? AMY: You're safe now. Apparently, you used all your remaining regenerations in one go. You shouldn't have done that. RIVER: Mother, I had to try. AMY: I know. RIVER: He said no-one could save him, but he must have known I could. DOCTOR: Rule one. The Doctor lies. NURSE: She just needs to rest. She'll be absolutely fine. DOCTOR: No, she won't. She will be amazing. (The Doctor leaves a brand new Tardis-style diary on the bedside cabinet.) [Tardis] AMY: So that's it, we leave her there? DOCTOR: Sisters of the Infinite Schism. Greatest hospital in the universe. AMY: Yeah, but she's our daughter. Doctor, she's River and she's our daughter. DOCTOR: Amy, I know. But we have to let her make her own way now. We have too much foreknowledge. Dangerous thing, foreknowledge. (His Teselecta biography is on the scanner.) AMY: What's that? DOCTOR: Nothing. (He turns it off.) DOCTOR: Just some data I downloaded from the Teselecta. Very boring. RORY: Doctor, River was brainwashed to kill you, right? DOCTOR: Well, she did kill me, and then she used her remaining lives to bring me back. As first dates go, I'd say that was mixed signals. RORY: But that stuff that they put in her head, is that gone now? The River that we know in the future, she is in prison for murder. AMY: Whose murder? Will we see her again? DOCTOR: Oh, she'll come looking for us. AMY: Yeah, but how? How do people even look for you? DOCTOR: Oh, Pond. Haven't you figured that one out yet? [The Luna University, 5123] (A professor is interviewing a prospective student.) CANDY: So then, tell me. Why do you want to study archaeology? RIVER: Well, to be perfectly honest, Professor, I'm looking for a good man. [Online Prequel - Captain's cabin] (Writing as we tour the quiet yet treasure-laden vessel.) AVERY [OC]: April the first, 1699, the good ship Fancy. Captain's journal. Eight days we've been stranded in these waters, and still there is no wind to fill our sails. The ship is helpless, marooned in a silent ocean. We cannot run and we cannot fight. All we can do is await our fate. An enemy lurks out there in the darkness. She comes for us when the ocean is still. One by one the crew have been taken. The men are exhausted with fear. We cannot last much longer. I feel an evil presence lurking in the shadows somewhere, forever watching me. I pray for a fair wind that will carry us away from this accursed place, but I fear that we are all doomed to die here. [On deck] (A group of seventeenth century sailors row back to their ship, becalmed in the mist.) BOATSWAIN: What's wrong? MILLIGAN: Man wounded. BOATSWAIN: Wake him. [Captain's cabin] (Lots of gold loot lying around.) BOATSWAIN: He slipped in the bilge water, Cap'n and fell on to the rigger. His hand. I Don't know if he'll survive. (The Captain turns and looks at the tiny cut on the man's middle finger.) AVERY: You're a dead man, McGrath. (His other hand has a black spot on the palm.) AVERY: Same as all the others. (A woman's voice starts singing.) AVERY: She's here. BOATSWAIN: Oh, save our souls. McGRATH: I've got to escape! BOATSWAIN: Don't go out there! McGrath, don't listen, for God's sake. The siren is a-calling. (McGrath grabs a duelling piece and runs out onto the deck. Captain Avery locks himself and his crew into his cabin. The singing stops, there is a scream and then silence.) [On deck] (Captain Avery picks up his duelling piece.) AVERY: Same as all the others. No sign of a struggle, no bones or blood. BOATSWAIN: We're shark bait, every single one of us. Stuck on the ocean, waiting. AVERY: Until the wind changes. (There is a thumping from below decks.) AVERY: What's that? BOATSWAIN: It's the creature. It's returned. (The hatch to the hold bursts open.) DOCTOR: Yo ho ho! Or does nobody actually say that? [Captain's cabin] AVERY: We made no signal. DOCTOR: Our sensors picked you up. Ship in distress. AVERY: Sensors? DOCTOR: Yes. Okay, problem word. Seventeenth century. My ship automatically, er, noticed-ish that your ship was having some bother. AVERY: That big blue crate? BOATSWAIN: That is more magic, Captain Avery. They're spirits. How else would they have found their way below decks? DOCTOR: Well, er, I want to say multidimensional engineering, but since you had a problem with sensors, I won't go there. Look, I'm the Doctor. This is Amy, Rory. We're sailors, same as you. Ooo ar. Except for the gun thing. And the beardiness. AVERY: You're stowaways. Only explanation. Eight days, we've been stranded here, becalmed. You must have stowed away before we sailed. BOATSWAIN: Now what do we do with 'em? AVERY: Oh, I think they deserve our hospitality. [On deck] (The Doctor is being made to walk the plank.) DOCTOR: I suppose that laughing like that is in the job description. Can you do the laugh? Check. Grab yourself a parrot. Welcome aboard. "AVERY; Stocks are low. Only one barrel of water remains. We don't need three more empty bellies to fill. Take the doxy below to the galley. Set her to work. She won't need much feeding." AMY: Rory? A little help? (Rory is being held by Dancer, an African born sailor.) RORY: Yeah. Hey, listen, right? She's not a doxy. AMY: I didn't mean just tell him off. Thanks anyway. AVERY: If you're lucky you'll drown before the sharks can take a bite. DOCTOR: If this is just because I'm a captain too, you know, you shouldn't feel threatened. Your ship is much bigger than mine. And I don't have the cool boots. Or a hat, even. AVERY: Time to go. DOCTOR: A bit more laughter, guys? (Amy has gone to the hold and found a crate of cutlasses.) DOCTOR: Where are the rest of the crew? This is a big ship. Big for five of you. I suppose the rest of them are hiding some place, and they're going to jump out and shout boo. AMY: Boo! (Amy has taken the time to don a coat and tricorn hat.) AMY: Throw the gun down. (Avery obeys. She kicks it away.) AMY: The rest of you, on your knees. DOCTOR: Amy, what are you doing? AMY: Saving your life. Okay with that, are you? AVERY: Put down the sword. A sword could kill us all, girl. AMY: Yeah, thanks. That is actually why I'm pointing it at you. (The rest of the sailors start a sword fight with Amy, using wooden staves, while Avery holds on to the Doctor. This might be a good time to point out that there was an Avery mentioned in The Smugglers who hid his gold in the Cornish church. However, the sailors are terrified of getting even the smallest cut from Amy's blade. Amy runs up some steps then swings across on a rope, slashing at the sailor holding Rory as she goes.) DANCER: You have killed me. AMY: No way. It's just a cut. (The black spot appears on his palm.) AMY: What kind of rubbish pirates are you? AVERY: One drop, that's all it takes. One drop of blood and she'll rise out of the ocean. AMY: Come on, I barely even scratched him. What are you all in such a huff about? (Amy makes another swing and is grabbed. She is drops the cutlass and Rory grabs for it, cutting himself.) RORY: Ow! Argh! (The black spot appears.) RORY: Er, Doctor, what's happening to me? AVERY: She can smell the blood on your skin. She's marked you for death. RORY: She? AVERY: A demon, out there in the ocean. DOCTOR: Okay. Groovy. So not just pirates today. We've managed to bagsy a ship where there's a demon popping in. Very efficient. I mean, if something's going to kill you, it's nice that it drops you a note to remind you. (The wordless singing starts.) BOATSWAIN: Quickly now, block out the sound. RORY: What? AVERY: The creature. She charms all her victims with that song. RORY: Oh, great. So put my fingers in my ears, that's your plan? Doctor, come on. Let's go. Let's get back to the er, back to the er (Rory and Dancer start giggling.) BOATSWAIN: The music. It's working on him. Look. RORY: You are so beautiful. AMY: What? RORY: I love your get up. That's great. You should dress as a pirate more often. Hey, hey, cuddle me, shipmate. AMY: Rory, stop. RORY: Everything is totally brilliant, isn't it? Look at these brilliant pirates. Look at their brilliant beards. I'd like a beard. I'm going to grow a beard. AMY: You're not. AVERY: The music turns them into fools. AMY: Oh, my God. (A bright light is rising up through the water. A female figure then flies up and gently lands on the deck. Dancer goes towards her while Amy tries to hold Rory back. When Dancer touches her finger, he explodes in a cloud of soot.) RORY: I have to touch her. Let me touch her. AMY: Sorry, but he is spoken for. (The Siren turns from white to angry red, and a blast of energy throws Amy backwards.) DOCTOR: Amy! Everybody into the hold. Rory! Come on! (The Doctor drags Rory away.) RORY: Hey! Wait! [Hold] (There is bilge water a few inches deep in here.) AMY: What is that thing? AVERY: The legend. The siren. Many a merchant ship laden with treasure has fallen prey to her. She's been hunting us ever since we were becalmed, picking off the injured. BOATSWAIN: Like a shark. A shark can smell blood. DOCTOR: Okay. Just like a shark, in a dress. And singing. And green? A green singing shark in an evening gown. AVERY: The ship is cursed! DOCTOR: Yeah, right. Cursed is big with humans. It means bad things are happening but you can't be bothered to find an explanation. RORY: She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. AMY: Actually, I think you'll find she isn't. RORY: She is. AMY: We have to leave right now. AVERY: That thing of yours really is a ship? DOCTOR: Well, it's not propelled by the wind. AVERY: Show me. Weigh anchor. Make it sail. DOCTOR: And the gun's back. You're big on the gun thing, aren't you. Freud would say you're compensating. Ever met Freud? No? Comfy sofa. DE FLORRES: Leave the cursed one, Captain. The creature can have him. RORY: Yes, please. AVERY: We don't want the siren coming after us. (Something latches onto Mulligan's bare leg.) AMY: It's a leech! DOCTOR: Everyone out of the water! DE FLORRES: It's bitten me. I'm bleeding. DOCTOR: She wants blood. Why does she want blood? AMY: What were you saying about leaving the cursed ones behind? DOCTOR: It's okay, we're safe down here. No curse is getting through three solid inches of timber. (And there she is.) DOCTOR: Oh! Ah. Hello again. (De Florres is drawn towards her.) ALL: No! No! No! (De Florres explodes, just leaving his hat behind.) [Mess deck] (A hammock, sacks of food.) AMY: Safe? DOCTOR: I have my good days and my bad days. AVERY: How did she get in? DOCTOR: Bilge water. She's using water like a portal, a door. She can materialise through a single drop. We need to go somewhere with no water. AMY: Well, thank God we're not in the middle of the ocean. RORY: Did you see her eyes? Like crystal pools. AMY: You are in enough trouble. AVERY: The magazine. AMY: What? DOCTOR: He means the armoury where the powder's stored. AVERY: It's dry as a bone. DOCTOR: Good. Let's go there. AVERY: I give the orders. DOCTOR: Ah. Worried because I'm wearing a hat now? Nobody touch anything sharp! AMY: Come on, Rory. (The Boatswain shuffles through his collection of keys.) AVERY: Quickly, man. BOATSWAIN: I can't find the key. Tis gone, Cap'n. AVERY: How can it have gone? (The door is unlocked.) DOCTOR: Someone else had the same idea. [Magazine] AVERY: Barricade the door. Careful of that lantern. Every barrel is full of powder. DOCTOR: Who's been sleeping in my gun room? (Someone coughs. Avery opens a barrel and pulls out a boy.) AVERY: You fool! You fool, boy. What are you doing here? DOCTOR: Who is he? What, he's not one of the crew? AVERY: No. He's my son. What in God's name possessed you, boy? Your mother will be searching for you. When? TOBY: Last winter. Fever. She told me all about you. How you were a Captain in the Navy. An honourable man, she said. How I'd be proud to know you. I've come to join your crew. AVERY: I don't want you here. TOBY: You can't send me back. It's too late. We're a hundred miles from home. AVERY: It's dangerous here. There is a monster aboard. She leaves a mark on men's skin. TOBY: The black spot? (Toby has one on his palm. He coughs again. Later -) AVERY: There's nothing wrong with the boy. He has no scars. DOCTOR: Yep. Ignore my last theory. AMY: He has his good days and his bad days. DOCTOR: It's not just blood, she's coming for all the sick and wounded, like a hunter chooses the weakest animal. AMY: Okay, look, he's got a fever. The siren knows it. DOCTOR: Humans. Second-rate. Damage too easily. It's only a matter of time before everyone gets bruised. My ship, it can sail us all away from here. You and me, we fetch it. Let's go. AVERY: You're not the Captain here, remember. (Toby opens a fresh-water barrel and the Siren's hand reaches out. The Doctor forces the lid back down.) AVERY: The water's dangerous. That's how she gets through. One touch of her hand and you're a dead man. BOATSWAIN: We're all cursed if we stay aboard. DOCTOR: It's not a curse. Curse means game over. Curse means we're helpless. We are not helpless. Captain, what's our next move? AVERY: Wait with the boy. BOATSWAIN: Captain, we're all in danger here. AVERY: I said wait. And barricade the door after we've gone. AMY: Sure you want to go? DOCTOR: We have to get Rory and Toby away. She's out there now, licking her lips, boiling a saucepan, grating cheese. AMY: Okay. Well, remember, if you get an itch, don't scratch too hard. DOCTOR: We've all got to go some time. There are worse ways than having your face snogged off by a dodgy mermaid. [Mess deck] AVERY: Do you want to draw lots for who's in charge, then? DOCTOR: Darkness? Demon? You can have first go. (Avery stumbles and nearly puts his hand on a protruding nail head. The Doctor grabs his arm just in time.) AVERY: Nearly. Phew! [Tardis] AVERY: By all the DOCTOR: Let me stop you there. Bigger on the inside. Don't mind, do you, if we just skip to the end of that moment? Oh, and sorry I lied, by the way, when I said yours was bigger. Kitchen that way. Choice of bathrooms there, there, there. [Magazine] RORY: What's wrong? AMY: The most beautiful thing you've ever seen? RORY: Oh, tell me I didn't really say that. AMY: What's going on? (The Boatswain is unbarracading the door.) BOATSWAIN: We're not staying here to mollycoddle the boy. The Captain's gone soft. It's time for us to leave. [Tardis] AVERY: What's this do? DOCTOR: That does very, very complicated. That does sophisticated. That does whoa, amazing, And that does whizz, bang, far too technical to explain! AVERY: Wheel? DOCTOR: Atom accelerator. AVERY: It steers the thing. DOCTOR: No. Sort of. Yes. AVERY: Wheel. Telescope. Astrolabe. Compass. A ship's a ship. DOCTOR: Oh. [Magazine] TOBY: He told you to wait, you dog. He's your Captain, a Naval Officer. You're honour-bound to do as he tells you. BOATSWAIN: Honour-bound? Do you know what kind of ship this is? Do you know what your father does? AMY: Don't listen to him, Toby. BOATSWAIN: We sail under the black flag. The Jolly Roger. TOBY: Liar! He's no wicked pirate! BOATSWAIN: Oh, you think so? I have seen your father gun down a thousand innocent men. [Tardis] DOCTOR: This is how the professionals do it. (The time rotor stutters.) DOCTOR: Er, it's stuck. Not responding. AVERY: Becalmed? DOCTOR: Mmm hmm. Yeah, apparently. That's new. You had to gloat, didn't you? AVERY: I'm not gloating. DOCTOR: I saw that look just now. Ha, ha, his ship is rubbish. AVERY: True. [Magazine] BOATSWAIN: Get what treasure you can. I'll meet you in the row boat. (Toby has found a cutlass.) TOBY: You're going to remain at your post. BOATSWAIN: I am not playing games with you, boy. You put that down. TOBY: One more step and I'll use this, you blaggard. BOATSWAIN: You don't know how to fight with a cutlass, boy. TOBY: Don't need to, do I. (And cuts the Boatswain's hand.) BOATSWAIN: No [Tardis] DOCTOR: It can't get a lock on the plane. AVERY: The what? DOCTOR: The space we travel in. The ocean. Sort of ocean but not water. The Tardis can't see. It's sulking because it thinks the space doesn't exist. Without a plane to lock onto we're not going anywhere. AVERY: I'm confused. DOCTOR: Yeah, well, it's a big club. We should get T-shirts. (Jolt, grind.) DOCTOR: What's happening? [Magazine] BOATSWAIN: You little swabber! AMY: Congratulations. You made it to the menu. Probably shouldn't go out there now. BOATSWAIN: You scurvy ape! RORY: Don't shoot. The powder will blow and kill us all. (Mulligan takes the keys from the Boatswain's belt.) BOATSWAIN: Mulligan, what are you doing? (Mulligan leaves.) AMY: No honour among pirates. (The Boatswain puts down his pistol and starts rebuilding the barricade.) [Tardis] DOCTOR: Okay, she's had her little sulk. Now she's heading for the full-on screaming tantrum. AVERY: Can you fix it? DOCTOR: Argh! The parametric engines are jammed. Orthogonal vector's gone. I'm almost out of ideas. AVERY: Almost? DOCTOR: Well, we could try stroking her and singing her a song. AVERY: Will that help? DOCTOR: Hard to say. Never has before. I've lost control of her. She's about to dematerialise. We could end up anywhere! AVERY: That sounds bad! DOCTOR: Yes, it is! Out! Out now! Abandon ship! Abandon ship! (They run out as things start going Bang!) [Hold] (Not your usual dematerialisation.) DOCTOR: Okay, okay, okay. Tardis runs off on its own. That's a bit of a new one. Bang goes our only hope of getting them out of here. AVERY: Not much of a Captain without a ship, are you? [Mess deck] (Mulligan pulls two pistols on his captain. He has a jewelled gold crown around his wrist.) AVERY: Mulligan, what are you doing? This is mutiny. MULLIGAN: She doesn't want me. She only wants Toby and the scrawny looking fellow. DOCTOR: He's got the last of the supplies. We should go after him. AVERY: Never mind the damned supplies. What about my treasure? (Mulligan shoots at them.) DOCTOR: Don't get injured. Don't get injured. [Store room] AVERY [OC]: Come out of there, you mutinous dog! (Mulligan lights a flame, then drops it when it burns his fingers.) [Mess deck] (Siren song. The Doctor and Avery check themselves for injury. Then a light glows under the door to the hold.) DOCTOR: She's inside. AVERY: She's come for Mulligan. MULLIGAN [OC]: Argh! [Store room] AVERY: No water in here. How did she take him? You said she uses water like a door, that's how she enters a room. (Avery picks up the crown.) DOCTOR: I was wrong. Please ignore all my theories up to this point. AVERY: What, again? DOCTOR: We're all in danger. The water's not how she's getting in. When we were down in the hold, think what happened. You, me, Amy, Rory, leeches. AVERY: She sprang from the water. DOCTOR: Yes, only when it grew still. Still water. Nature's mirror. AVERY: So, you mean DOCTOR: Yes. Not water, reflection. (Toby has a medallion his father has given him, of a mermaid. A nice shiny medallion, which he starts polishing.) DOCTOR: That siren legend. The curse. AVERY: You said curses weren't real. DOCTOR: Folklore springs from truth. She attacks ships filled with treasure. Where else do you get a perfect reflection? AVERY: Polished metal. DOCTOR: Hmm. (He hides the crown under a piece of clothing.) AVERY: We must warn them. [Magazine] DOCTOR [OC]: Amy! Open the door! AVERY [OC]: Toby, open the door! Toby! DOCTOR [OC]: Open the door. AVERY [OC]: Toby! (The Doctor grabs the medallion and breaths on it to cloud the reflection.) [Captain's cabin] (The Doctor uses the butt of a musket to break the glass windows.) DOCTOR: We've got to destroy every reflection. Gold, silver, glass, she could spring from any of them. Oh, yes, yes, I know, I know. Very bad luck to break it. But look at it this way. There's a stroppy homicidal mermaid trying to kill all. AVERY: How much worse can things get? DOCTOR: Yep. Help me lug this lot out. AVERY: Where are we taking it? "DOCTOR; The ocean." AVERY: No! No. This is the treasure of the Mogul of India. DOCTOR: Oh, good. For a moment there I thought it was yours. AVERY: No, no. Doctor, wait. Must we do this? DOCTOR: Any reflection, any mirror, and the siren will attack. We have to protect Rory and Toby. Go and get the crown from the storeroom. (The Doctor starts throwing Avery's gold out of the broken windows.) [Magazine] RORY: Just wait? DOCTOR: Not my most dynamic plan, I realise. AMY: Tardis? DOCTOR: It's been towed. AMY: What? DOCTOR: Sorry. We might be stuck here for a while. RORY: So you're saying that we should all just wait here below? AVERY: The sea is still calm, like a mirror. If you go out on deck she'll rise up and attack you. DOCTOR: It's okay. The calm won't last forever. When the wind picks up we'll all set sail. AVERY: Until it does, you have to hide down here. (Later, Rory and Amy are asleep.) AVERY: I'm sorry about your mother. You miss her a lot. TOBY: Three years. No word from you. AVERY: Toby. TOBY: You promised her. You promised you'd come home. And she believed you would, right up until the day she died. What made you do it? What made you turn pirate? AVERY: Get some sleep now. EYE PATCH LADY [OC]: It's fine. You're doing fine. Just stay calm. (Amy opens her eyes just in time to see an apparent hatch in the side of the ship slide shut on the face of the mysterious woman.) [On deck] DOCTOR: It's not one star, it's two. The Dog star, Sirius. Binary system. AVERY: I use it to navigate the ocean. DOCTOR: I've travelled far, like you. Space can be very lonely, and the greatest adventure is having someone share it with you. AVERY: If we get out of this I'll take him back to England. He can't stay with me. I'm not the father he needs. DOCTOR: Who are you, Henry Avery? Respected naval officer, wife and child at home. How did you end up here, wandering the oceans with a band of rogues? AVERY: I've set my course now. Nothing I can do to alter it. DOCTOR: People stared at it for centuries and never knew. Things can suddenly change, when you're least expecting. [Captain's cabin] AMY: Doctor? DOCTOR: Shush. AMY: What can you see? DOCTOR: Feels like something's out there, staring straight at me. (Lightning! Thunder!) DOCTOR: Man the sails! [On deck] (The rain is lashing down.) AVERY: To the rigging, you dogs! Let go the sails. Avast ye! Put the bunt into the slack of the clews. (Amy and Rory pull on the sheets.) AMY: I swear he's making half this stuff up. RORY: Well, we're going to need some kind of phrase book. (The Doctor is at the wheel, trying to turn her bow on to the storm.) AVERY: Toby! Find my coat. My compass is inside it, boy. Heave ho, you bilge rats. RORY: Rats was all I could hear. (Toby returns with the coat, and the crown falls out and rolls along the deck. The Siren comes out of the crown and flies up into the rigging, then descends again to the deck.) AVERY: Don't let her take you! (Toby reaches out to the Siren.)  AVERY: No! (Toby is gone in a puff of smoke.) AVERY: No! (The Doctor throws the crown overboard, and the Siren disappears.) AVERY: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. DOCTOR: You couldn't give up the gold, could you. That's why you turned pirate. Your commission, your wife, your son. Just how much is that treasure worth to you, man? (A loose spar knocks Rory overboard.) AMY: Rory! Rory! I can't see him. Doctor? I'm going in. DOCTOR: He's drowning. He's drowning! You go in after him, you'll drown too. There's only one thing that can save him now. AMY: What are you talking about? DOCTOR: The Siren. The Siren, she wants him. We have to release her. AMY: Doctor, no. (The Doctor opens a fresh water barrel and the Siren zooms out.) DOCTOR: He's drowning. Go and find him! (The Siren dives into the sea.) AMY: What, what did you do? DOCTOR: If he stays in there he'll die. AMY: But she'll destroy him. DOCTOR: That thing isn't just a ravenous hunter. It's intelligent. We can reason with it. And maybe, just maybe, they're still alive somewhere. We have to follow. AVERY: Are you mad? DOCTOR: If we ever want to see them again, we have to let the Siren take us. We'll prick our fingers. All agreed? Yeah? AVERY: Aye. AMY: Aye. DOCTOR: Aye. (The Doctor draws blood from each of them. The black spot appears on their palms and the Siren appears. There is a flash of bright light.) [Spaceship] (They wake up on a metal floor.) AMY: Where are we? DOCTOR: We haven't moved. We're in exactly the same place as before. (They look through a window onto the deck of the ship.) AVERY: We're on a ghost ship. DOCTOR: No. It's real. Space ship trapped in a temporal rift. AMY: How can two ships be in the same place? DOCTOR: Not the same. Two planes, two worlds, two cars parked in the same space. There are lots of different universes nested inside each other. Now and again they collide, and you can step from one to the other. AMY: Okay, I think I understand. DOCTOR: Good, because it's not like that at all. But if that helps. AMY: Thanks. DOCTOR: All the reflections have suddenly become gateways. (The Doctor throws a piece of metal at the window. It goes through and lands on the deck.) DOCTOR: Ever look in a mirror and think you're seeing a whole other world? Well, this time it's not an illusion. (Beep, beep.) AMY: The signal. DOCTOR: Yes. AMY: The distress call. DOCTOR: Uh huh. AMY: There was a second ship here all the time. DOCTOR: And the Siren is on board. (He opens a door to reveal an alien skeleton. Its spacesuit says D.I.H.S) DOCTOR: Dead. [Bridge] (More skeletal crew.) AMY: You were right. There was something staring at us the whole time. How long has this ship been marooned here? AVERY: Long enough for the Captain to have run out of grog. AMY: I don't understand. If this is the Captain, then what's the Siren? DOCTOR: Same as us. A stowaway. AMY: She killed it? DOCTOR: Human bacteria. AMY: What? DOCTOR: A virus from our planet. Airborne, travelling through the portal. That's what killed it. Didn't get its jabs. Urgh. Look. (The Doctor has put his hand in some gunk.) AMY: What is it? DOCTOR: Sneeze! Alien bogies. (He wipes his hand on the sleeve of Amy's pirate coat.) [Sickbay] (Lots of people lying on beds floating in midair, and connected by a tube to the ceiling.) AVERY: McGrath! He's one of my men. AMY: He's still breathing. AVERY: My entire crew is here. Toby! AMY: Rory! DOCTOR: The Tardis! AVERY: We have to get them out of here. DOCTOR: Wait. His fever's gone. AMY: He looks so well. DOCTOR: She's keeping him alive. His brain is still active, but all its cellular activity is suspended. It's not a curse, it's a tissue sample. Why get samples of people you are about to kill? AMY: Help me get him up. (Rory begins to wake. Beep, beep.) DOCTOR: She's coming. (They hide behind a bank of monitors. The Siren floats in, singing her wordless song, and goes to Rory. He calms down and sleeps again.) DOCTOR: Anaesthetic. AVERY: What? DOCTOR: The music. The song. So she anaesthetises people and puts their body in stasis. (The Siren goes to Toby. Avery steps out, gun ready.) DOCTOR: Avery, no! (Avery shoots, and the Siren turns red. She advances on Avery, then the Doctor sneezes. The Siren heads for him instead.) DOCTOR: Fire. That's new. What does fire do? Burn? Yes. Destroy? What else? Sterilise! I sneezed. I've brought germs in. (The Doctor blows his nose and throws the handkerchief on the floor. The Siren blasts the offending article. Amy runs to Rory.) DOCTOR: Amy, stop. Don't interfere. Don't touch him. Anaesthetic, tissue sample, screen, sterile working conditions. Ignore all my previous theories! AMY: Yeah? Well, we stopped paying attention a while back. DOCTOR: She's not a killer at all, she's a doctor! (Amy stops fiddling with Rory's life support and the Siren returns to green.) DOCTOR: This is an automated sick bay. It's teleporting everyone on board. The crew are dead, and so the sick bay has had nothing to do. It's been looking after humanity whilst it's been idle. Look at her. A virtual doctor able to sterilise a whole room. AMY: Able to burn your face off. DOCTOR: She's just an interface, seeped through the join between the planes, broadcast in our world. Protean circuitry means she can change her form, and become a human doctor for humans. Oh, sister, you are good. AVERY: She won't let us take them. DOCTOR: She's keeping them alive, but she doesn't know how to heal them. AMY: I'm his wife, for God's sake. Why can't I touch him? DOCTOR: Tell her, Amy. Show her your ring. She may be virtual but she's intelligent. You can't do anything without her consent. Come on. Sophisticated girl like you. That must be somewhere in your core program. AMY: Look, he's very ill, okay? I just want to look after him. Why won't you let me near my husband? (The Siren holds out her hand, and a circle of light appears around it.) DOCTOR: Consent form. Sign it. Put your hand in the light. Rory's sick. You have to take full responsibility. (Amy does so, and the Siren disappears. Amy turns off Rory's life support.) DOCTOR: He can't breathe. Turn it back on. AMY: What do we do? I can't just leave him here. AVERY: He'll die if you take him out. AMY: Rory? Rory, wake up. RORY: Where am I? DOCTOR: You're in a hospital. If you leave, you might die. AMY: But if you don't, you'll have to stay forever. RORY: You're saying that if I don't get up now AMY: You can never leave. DOCTOR: The Siren will keep you safe. RORY: And if I come with you? DOCTOR: Drowning, on the point of death. RORY: I'm a nurse. AMY: What? RORY: I can teach you how to save me. AMY: Whoa. Hold on. RORY: I was drowning. You just have to resuscitate me. AMY: Just? RORY: You've seen them do it loads of times in films. CPR. The kiss of life. AMY: Rory, this isn't a film, okay? What if I do it wrong? RORY: You won't. AMY: Okay, what if you don't come back to life? What if RORY: I trust you. AMY: What about him? I mean, why do I have to be the one? Why do I have to save you? RORY: Because I know you'll never give up. DOCTOR: We have to send this ship back into space. Imagine if the Siren got ashore. She would have to process every injured human. AVERY: What about Toby? DOCTOR: I'm sorry. Typhoid fever. Once he returns it's only a matter of time. AVERY: What if I stay with him, here. The Siren will look after him. I can't go back to England. And what home does he have now, if not with me? DOCTOR: Do you think you can sail this thing? AVERY: Just point me to the atom accelerator. RORY: I know you can do this. Of course, if you muck it up I am going to be really cross. And dead. AMY: I'll see you in a minute. (The Doctor rips off Rory's restraints. They get him off the bed and carry him into -) [Tardis] (Where Amy starts CPR, doing 1 breath to 5 chest compressions.) DOCTOR: Come on. Come on, Rory. Not here. Not this way. Not today. AMY: He trusted me. He trusted me to save him. DOCTOR: You still can. You can still do this. He believes in you. Come on, Amy. Come on! AMY: Please, please, please wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Come on. Come on. (But finally even she gives up. After a few moments, Rory starts coughing up water.) RORY: Amy. Amy, you did it. You did it! (Later, Captain Avery has control of the spaceship, with Toby as his co-pilot, still attached to his life support mechanism. The rest of his crew come to watch as they fly between the stars.) AMY: I thought I was an excellent pirate. RORY: I thought you were an excellent nurse. AMY: Easy, tiger. Goodnight, Doctor. DOCTOR: Goodnight, Amelia. AMY: You only call me Amelia when you're worrying about me. DOCTOR: I always worry about you. (Amy remembers the moment of the Doctor's death by the lake.) AMY: Mutual. DOCTOR: Go to bed, Pond. RORY: (sotto) You can't tell him. It's his future. AMY: I know. (The body scan is still undecided as to whether Amy is pregnant or not.) DOCTOR: Oh, Amelia. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Apalapucia. AMY: Say it again? DOCTOR: Apalapucia. AMY Apalapu DOCTOR: Chia. RORY: Apalapucia. DOCTOR: Apalapucia. AMY: Apalapucia. What a beautiful word. DOCTOR: Beautiful word, beautiful world. Apalapucia, voted number two planet in the top ten greatest destinations for the discerning intergalactic traveller. RORY: Why couldn't we go to number one? DOCTOR: It's hideous. Everyone goes to number one. Planet of the coffee shops. Apalapucia. I give you sunsets, spires, soaring silver colonnades. I give you (The Doctor opens the Tardis door to reveal - a white space with a door.) RORY: Doors. [White space] DOCTOR: Doors. Yes. I give you doors. But on the other side of those doors, I give you sunsets, spires, soaring silver colonnades. AMY: Have you seen my phone? DOCTOR: Your phone? AMY: Yeah. DOCTOR: Your mobile telephone? I bring you to a paradise planet, two billion light years from Earth, and you want to update Twitter. AMY: Sunsets, spires, soaring silver colonnades. It's a camera phone. DOCTOR: On the counter, by the DVDs. AMY: Thank you. RORY: How do we get in? DOCTOR: I don't know. Push a button. (There is a choice of two - Green Anchor and Red Waterfall. Rory presses the Green.) [Green Anchor room] (Still stark white decor, with a glass table and three avante guarde chairs.) DOCTOR: Okay, so rain check on the soaring silver colonnades. RORY: Yeah. It's a magnifying glass. (And it is in the middle of the table. (Amy comes out of the Tardis with her phone.) AMY [OC]: Hey? Hey, it's locked. RORY: Yeah, push the button. (Of course, she presses the Red Waterfall button.) [Red Waterfall room] (Identical to Green Anchor except there are no people here.) AMY: Rory? [Green Anchor room] RORY: Come on, Amy. [Red Waterfall room] (The door shuts.) AMY: Great. [Green Anchor room] (Rory opens the door.) RORY: Where is she? Where on wherever we are is my wife? (The Doctor presses the green button on the magnifying glass. Amy looks into the glass in her room and the Doctor sees her.) DOCTOR: Rory, I think I've found her. RORY: What do you mean you've found her? Whoa. No, but, she's not, she's not here. [Red Waterfall room] RORY [in glass]: I can see her, but she's not here. [Green Anchor room] AMY [in glass]: Where am I? In fact, where are you? (A white robot enters. It has a blank face, one red and one green button on its torso, and is holding up a hand.) RORY: Whoa. DOCTOR: Hands. Hello, hands. Robot with hands, Rory. HANDBOT: Welcome to the Twostreams facility. Will you be visiting long? AMY [in glass]: Er, Doctor, something's happening. (The image in the glass starts to wiggle.) DOCTOR: Er, Amy? Stay calm. Stay still. Ah, time's gone wobbly. I hate it when it does that. HANDBOT: Will you be visiting long? RORY: Good question. Bit sinister. What's the answer to not get us killed? DOCTOR: It's okay, I've got you, you're fine. [Red Waterfall room] ROBOT [OC]: Will you be visiting long? RORY [in glass]: Doctor? A little help, Doctor. AMY: And where have you been? [Green Anchor room] RORY: What do I tell it? AMY [in glass]: I've been here a week. [Red Waterfall room] DOCTOR [in glass]: A week? [Green Anchor room] DOCTOR: A week? I'm so sorry. Ah-ha. Same room, different times. Two different timestreams running parallel but at different speeds. Amy, you're in a faster timestream. [Red Waterfall room] AMY: Doctor, it's going again. [Green Anchor room] RORY: Doctor! DOCTOR: Amy! AMY [in glass]: Doctor! [Red Waterfall room] DOCTOR [in glass]: Come on. Gotcha. There. Stabilised, settled, shush. [Green Anchor room] RORY: Why has this got hands? DOCTOR: Organic skin. Ultimate universal interface, grown and grafted, not born. I mean, it's actually seeing with its fingers, scanning the room. But why not just give it eyes? HANDBOT: Will you be visiting long? DOCTOR: As long as it takes. [Red Waterfall room] DOCTOR [in glass]: Amy, what exactly did you do? AMY: I just, I came in [Green Anchor room] AMY [in glass]: And I pressed the door button. RORY: Oh. [Red Waterfall room] RORY [in glass]: Amy, there are two buttons. The green anchor and the red waterfall. [Green Anchor room] RORY: Which one did you push? AMY [in glass]: I pushed the red waterfall. RORY: Great. [White space] (Rory goes outside, lets the door close and presses Red Waterfall. The door opens on an empty room.) RORY: Amy? (He steps back, the door closes and he presses Green Anchor.) [Green Anchor room] RORY: I pressed Red Waterfall, and she wasn't there. DOCTOR: Okay, so you can't follow her directly. You know, it's never simple. Did you hear that, Handbot? She pressed the wrong button, that's all. We're aliens, we didn't know. HANDBOT: Statement rejected. Apalapucia is under planet-wide quarantine. This is a kindness facility for those infected with Chen Seven. (The Doctor covers his mouth and nose with his coat lapel.) DOCTOR: What? RORY: Chen Seven, hmm? DOCTOR: The one day plague. RORY: What, you get it for a day? DOCTOR: No, you get it, and you die in a day. HANDBOT: There are forty thousand residents in the Twostreams Facility. Please remain in the sterile areas. Visiting hours are now. (The Handbot beams itself away.) DOCTOR: Sterile area. I'm safe. [Red Waterfall room] AMY: What about me? [Green Anchor room] DOCTOR: Chen Seven only affects two-hearted races like Apalapucians. [Red Waterfall room] RORY [in glass]: And Time Lords. DOCTOR [in glass]: Yeah, like me. Walk into that facility, I'm dead in a day. [Green Anchor room] DOCTOR: Time moves faster on Amy's side of the glass. [Red Waterfall room] DOCTOR [in glass]: Amy, you said you'd been here a week. What did you eat? [Green Anchor room] AMY [in glass]: Nothing. I wasn't hungry. [Red Waterfall room] DOCTOR [in glass]: No, because that Red Waterfall time is compressed. That's the point. The Time Glass syncs up the [Green Anchor room] DOCTOR: Two timestreams for visits. You could be in here for a day, and watch them live out their entire lives. RORY: And watch them grow old in front of your eyes? [Red Waterfall room] RORY [in glass]: That's horrible. [Green Anchor room] DOCTOR: No, Rory, it's kind. You've got a choice. Sit by their [Red Waterfall room] DOCTOR [in glass]: Bedside for twenty four hours and watch them die, or sit in here for twenty four hours and watch them live. Which would you choose? (The Doctor pulls the Time Glass out of the table. Amy's one vanishes.) AMY: Doctor? Doctor, no, don't leave me. [Green Anchor room] DOCTOR: I'm here, Amy. I'm right here. AMY [in glass]: Where are you? Am I looking at you? DOCTOR: Turn left just a fraction. Bit more. Stop. That's it. AMY [in glass]: Eye to eye? DOCTOR: Eye to eye to eye. RORY: Hello. DOCTOR: Amy, I'm taking the Time Glass back to the Tardis. Like satnav, I'll use it to get a lock, then smash through using the Tardis to get you out. Until then, you're on your own. (The Doctor sonicks the glass.) RORY: Er, what are you doing? DOCTOR: Locking it on to Amy. Small act of vandalism. No one'll mind. (An alarm sounds.) DOCTOR: Ah, that'll be the small act of vandalism alarm. Amy, I need you to go into the facility just for a bit. Find somewhere safe and leave me a sign. Remember, you're immune to Chen Seven, but don't let them give you anything. They don't know you're alien. Their kindness will kill you. Now go. (Amy presses a button labelled Check In.) AMY [in glass]: Rory, I love you. Now save me. Go on. (Through the check-in door, she is sprayed with a gas.) [Tardis] DOCTOR: This is locked onto Amy permanently. Play the signal into the console, the Tardis'll follow it. Now then, I know you're in here. (The Doctor rummages through a tool box.) DOCTOR: Er, er, ha ha! How do I look? (The Doctor has found a pair of thick rimmed glasses.) RORY: Ridiculous. DOCTOR: Glasses are cool, see? (He puts them on Rory.) DOCTOR: Oh, yes. Hello, handsome man. RORY: Oh, hello. DOCTOR: Hello, Rory-cam. RORY: Huh? (The image of the Doctor is on the Time Glass.) RORY: Oh, you can see what I see. DOCTOR: We're breaking into Twostreams. Now, I can't go in there. The Chen Seven'll kill me, no regeneration. You will be my eyes and ears. RORY: Rory-cam. Rescue Amy. Got it. DOCTOR: That's the spirit. Now, smashing through a timewall could get a bit hairy. RORY: Is it safe? DOCTOR: Don't know. Never tried. Best hold onto something. [Check in area] (Massive, white and deserted.) AMY: What the? (She is grabbed by a beam of light from a panel in the ceiling. It has a pleasant female voice.) INTERFACE: Welcome to the Twostreams Facility. AMY: Er, who are you and why can't I see you? INTERFACE: I am the Interface between yourself and the systems of the Twostreams Facility. I will be your guide, your teacher, your friend. (An image of a woman appears at a check in desk.) CHECK IN GIRL: Welcome to Twostreams. What is your name, please? AMY: Amy. Amy Pond. CHECK IN GIRL: Welcome, Amy Pond. I see you're travelling alone. As a resident, you will now have access to all of the entertainment zones inside. For a taste of adventure, why not try the mountain zone, and explore Apalapucia's famous Glasmir Mountains. Or try our roller-coaster zone, authentically modelled on the famous Warpspeed Death Ride at Disneyland, Clom. All that you could wish for and more is through the Departure Gate, provided for you with kindness. [Arrivals area] INTERFACE: Unexpected visitor. Welcome. Please seek assistance. (A Handbot is up ahead.) AMY: Hello? Hey. Oi, wait. (The Handbot turns and scans her.) HANDBOT: You are carrying unregistered bacteria. Please let me help you. AMY: No, I'm not from this world. Your medicine'll kill me. HANDBOT: Statement rejected. Do not be alarmed. This is a kindness. (Amy ducks and hides.) AMY: No, no, please, I hate needles. HANDBOT: Secondary delivery system engaged. (It's head opens to reveal a needle gun. It misses its target and more Handbots beam in.) HANDBOT: Unauthorised infection on check-in, version two two three. (Amy jumps over a counter and gets into the service area.) [Service corridor] INTERFACE: Unauthorised resident detected. (Amy hides from a Handbot.) AMY: Come on. HANDBOT: This is a kindness. Do not be alarmed. This is a kindness. (And the chase is on.) INTERFACE: Unauthorised resident detected. Unauthorised resident detected. AMY: No. No, no. HANDBOT: This is a kindness. Do not be alarmed. This is a kindness. This is a kindness. Do not be alarmed. (Amy pulls at a mesh screen around a vent.) AMY: Come on, please. (She gets inside.) HANDBOT: No residents detected. No residents detected. AMY: They didn't see me. They didn't see me. [Tardis] RORY: Red Waterfall. We made it. DOCTOR: Good old us. [Red Waterfall corridor] "RORY; How do we know that we're in the same Red Waterfall as Amy?" [Tardis] DOCTOR: Focus on the positive. [Red Waterfall corridor] (Rory looks at a topless Greek-style statue of a lady.) DOCTOR [OC]: We locked onto Amy's timestream. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Eyes front, soldier. [Red Waterfall corridor] RORY: Right, yes. Sorry. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Apalapucians are the great cultural scavengers, Rory. This gallery's a scrapbook of their favourite places. [Red Waterfall corridor] (Mona Lisa on a pedestal.) RORY: Bit of Earth, bit of alien, bit of whatever the hell that is. [Gate Room] (With several free standing portals and a central control column.) AMY: Interface? INTERFACE: I am here, Amy Pond. AMY: Shush, shush. Turn that light off. So I'm, what is this? How does it work? INTERFACE: This is the Gate. From here you may depart to any of Twostreams' entertainment zones. (Amy presses buttons on the central column.) INTERFACE: Cinema. Aquarium. Garden. AMY: Garden? Why not? INTERFACE: Garden. (The Iconian Portal flickers with light, then Amy runs through.) [Garden] (Amy runs onto a terrace.) AMY: That is beautiful. I mean, freaky hedges. INTERFACE: The perfect replica of a Shill Governor's Mansion on Shallanna. AMY: You really could spend a lifetime in here. Not that I'm going to. Interface? INTERFACE: Amy Pond? AMY: Listen, I need somewhere safe to hide and wait for my friends. Where in Twostreams is safe? INTERFACE: Twostreams is a safe, nurturing environment. AMY: You know what I mean. Where can I go so the Handbots can't find me? Okay. Before, I was stood by a sort of vent, and there was light and smoke, and the Handbots couldn't see me. Why not? Okay, I will put it another way. What were those vent thingies? INTERFACE: The vents channel the exhaust fumes from the Temporal Engines that hold the multiple timestreams in place. AMY: And these Temporal Engines mess up the Handbots' sensors. So, where's the Temporal Engines? INTERFACE: Temporal Engines held within. (Interface shows Amy an image of the entrance to the Temporal Engines, by the Arrivals lounge.) AMY: Okay. (Two Handbots beam in.) HANDBOT: Do not be alarmed. This is a kindness. (Amy grabs their sensing hands and pushes them together. They short out.) AMY: Ha! Don't like that, do you? (She finds the door and goes inside.) [Temporal Engine room] AMY: Temporal engines. Somewhere to hide. (She goes back to the door and writes on it with her lipstick - Doctor I'm waiting - and puts an arrow to the door handle.) [Tardis] RORY [OC]: Where is everyone? DOCTOR: Right, Rory, switch the Time Glass on and sonic it. [Red Waterfall corridor] DOCTOR [OC]: I'm sending a command signal to the screwdriver. Amy's here somewhere, if I can just get a lock on her. [Tardis] DOCTOR: I wonder what happens if we mix the filters? (Lots of blurry people appear in the Time Glass, and via Rory-cam on a screen in the Tardis.) DOCTOR: Oh, there they are. Forty thousand time streams overlapping. Red Waterfall isn't one time stream, it's thousands. [Red Waterfall corridor] RORY: Are they happy? DOCTOR: Oh, Rory. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Trust you to think of that. [Red Waterfall corridor] DOCTOR [OC]: I think they're happy to be alive. Better than the alternative. (Rory lowers the Time Glass and is confronted by a red haired female Samurai warrior. He falls backwards.) RORY: I come in peace. Peace, peace, peace, peace. WARRIOR: I waited. RORY: Sorry, what? WARRIOR: I waited for you. I waited for you. (The warrior raises her helmet. She is an older Amy.) RORY: Amy. [Tardis] RORY [OC]: Doctor, what's going on? DOCTOR: Er [Red Waterfall corridor] RORY: Amy. DOCTOR [OC]: I think the timestream lock might be a bit wobbly. (Amy raises her sword.) RORY: No, please. Please. AMY: Duck. (Amy's katana goes straight through a Handbot's head.) AMY: Handbots carry a black box in case they go offline. I've changed the cause of termination from hostile to accidental. [Tardis] AMY [on screen]: Easy to re-programme. Used my sonic probe. [Red Waterfall corridor] RORY: Amy. AMY: Rory. RORY: Why? AMY: Because I've survived this long by making the Handbots think I don't exist. [Tardis] AMY [on screen]: Don't touch the hands. [Red Waterfall corridor] AMY: There's anaesthetic transfer on the skin. If they touch you, you go to sleep. RORY: But you're still here? AMY: You didn't save me. RORY: But, this is the saving. This is the us saving you. The Doctor just got the timing a bit out. DOCTOR [silent]: Sorry. AMY: I've been on my own here a long, long time. I've had decades to think nice thoughts about him. Got a bit harder to stay charitable once I entered decade four. RORY: Forty years? Alone? AMY: Thirty six years, thanks. RORY: No. Right. I mean, you look great. Really, really. AMY: Eyes front, soldier. RORY: Still can't win then. AMY: In fact, I think I can now definitely say I hate him. I hate The Doctor. I hate him more than I've ever hated anyone [Tardis] AMY [on screen]: In my life, and you can hear every word of this through those ridiculous glasses, can't you, Raggedy Man? DOCTOR: Er, yes. Putting the speaker phone on. AMY [on scanner]: You told me to wait, and I did. A lifetime. DOCTOR: Amy AMY [on scanner]: You've got nothing to say to me. DOCTOR: Amy, behind you. [Red Waterfall corridor] (Two more Handbots. Amy throws her katana to Rory and touches the Handbots hands together.) AMY: Feedback. Knocks them out. [Tardis] AMY [on scanner]: Learned that trick on my first day. [Arrivals area] RORY: Okay, so we just take the Tardis back to the right time stream, yeah? [Tardis] RORY [OC]: We can stop any of this happening. [Arrivals area] DOCTOR [OC]: We locked on to a timestream, Rory. This is it. RORY: This is so wrong. AMY: I got old, Rory. What did you think was going to happen? RORY: Hey, I don't care that you got old. I care that we didn't grow old together. Amy, come on, please. AMY: Don't touch me. Don't do that. RORY: It's like you're not even her. AMY: Thirty six years, three months, four days of solitary confinement. This facility was built to give people the chance to live. [Tardis] AMY [on scanner]: I walked in here and I died. Do you have anything to say? Anything, Doctor? DOCTOR: Where did you get a sonic screwdriver? AMY [on scanner]: I made it. And it's a sonic probe. [Arrivals area] (The lipstick has all but disappeared from the door now.) RORY: You made a sonic screwdriver? AMY: Probe. [Amy's lair] (Rory follows Amy into the place she has made her home. There is a Handbot with a smiling face drawn on its head and hooks instead of hands.) RORY: Oh. AMY: Don't worry about him. Sit down, Rory. (The Handbot sits, as does Rory.) RORY: You named him after me? AMY: Needed a bit of company. RORY: So he's like your pet? Is it safe? (Amy gets the remains of her lipstick from a box and looks at it.) AMY: Yep. I disarmed it. RORY: How? Oh, you disarmed it. AMY: Oh, don't get sentimental, it's just a robot. You'd have done the same. [Tardis] DOCTOR: I don't know that I would have. AMY [on scanner]: And there he is. The voice of God. Survive, because no one's going to come for you. Number one lesson. [Amy's lair] AMY: You taught me that. DOCTOR [OC]: Is that really all I taught you? [Tardis] AMY [on scanner]: Don't you lecture me, blue-box man flying through time and space on whimsy. All I've got, all I've had for thirty six years, is cold, hard reality. [Amy's lair] AMY: So no, I don't have a sonic screwdriver because I'm not off on a romp. I call it what it is. A probe. And I call my life what it is. Hell. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Amy Pond, I am going to put this right. You said you learned from an [Amy's lair] DOCTOR [OC]: Interface. Can I speak with it? AMY: Doesn't work in here. Two twenty three. The garden'll be clear now. Stay or go? RORY: Sorry, me? No, I'm coming with you. AMY: Then try not to get killed. Or do. Whatever. [Garden] AMY: When I first came here, I had to trick the Interface into giving me the information, but I've reprogrammed it now. It'll tell me anything except how to escape. RORY: You hacked it? That's genius. DOCTOR: Sorry to interrupt that beautiful moment, but temporal engines [Tardis] DOCTOR: Like that have a regulator valve. Has to be kept at a distance from the main reactor or there'd be feedback. Interface, where's the regulator? INTERFACE: The regulator valve is held within. (Showing a diagram of the location.) DOCTOR: Oh. Very, very ah. [Garden] DOCTOR [OC]: Interface, I need to run through some technical specifications. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Rory, give me to Amy a minute. [Garden] RORY: Here you go. (He hands over the glasses and she slowly puts them on.) AMY: They look ridiculous. RORY: That's what I told him. Still, anything beats a fez, eh? (They laugh briefly together.) RORY: What is it? AMY: I think that's the first time I've laughed in thirty six years. RORY: I'll just, er, leave you two geniuses alone. I'll be back in a minute. DOCTOR [OC]: There's still time, Amy. There's still time to fix everything. (Rory goes walking along the terrace until he comes to the portal.) RORY: How can you have a door without a wall? (A Handbot is approaching as he walks into the invisible wall by the portal.) RORY: Oh. Holographic wallpaper? Oh, sorry. Argh. (The Handbot touches his neck and he falls backwards.) HANDBOT: Do not be alarmed. This is a kindness. (It is about to fire its needle gun at Rory when Amy chops its head off.) RORY: Oh. AMY: Rory? RORY: Glasses. AMY: You stupid RORY: Oh. You saved me. AMY: Don't get used to it. RORY: Have you been crying? A little bit. AMY: Shut up, Rory. RORY: You have, haven't you? AMY: Woman with a sword. Don't push it. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Okay. So, here's the plan. [Garden] DOCTOR [OC]: Time is always a bit wibbly-wobbly, but in Twostreams it's extra wobbly. (Amy puts the glasses back on Rory.) [Tardis] DOCTOR: I've worked out how to hijack the Temporal Engines and use them to fold two points of Amy's timeline together. We're bringing her out of the then and into the now. Amy, I just need to borrow your brain a minute. It won't hurt, probably. Almost probably and then [Garden] DOCTOR [OC]: Amy Pond, I'm going to save you. [Tardis] AMY [on screen]: No. [Garden] AMY: Time's up. Handbots coming. [Arrivals area] DOCTOR [OC]: Amy, you've got to help us help you. I need you to think back [Tardis] DOCTOR: Thirty six years ago. Amy? Amy! [Arrivals area] (Amy goes back to the Temporal Engines entrance and shuts the door in Rory's face. Rory uses the Time Glass to read the faded message.) RORY: You told her to leave us a sign. [Tardis] RORY [OC]: And she did. And she waited. [Temporal Engine room] RORY: Oh Amy, why won't you help yourself? AMY: He wants to rescue past me from thirty six years back, which means I'll cease to exist. Everything I've seen and done dissolves. Time is rewritten. RORY: That's, that's good, isn't it?  AMY: I will die. Another Amy will take my place. An Amy who never got trapped at Twostreams, an Amy who grew old with you, and she, in thirty six years, won't be me. RORY: But you'll die in here! AMY: Not if you take me with you. [Tardis] AMY [on screen]: You came to rescue me, so rescue me. [Temporal Engine room] RORY: Leave her and take you? [Tardis] DOCTOR: We could take this Amy with us, easy, but if we do, our Amy has to wait thirty six years to be rescued. [Temporal Engine room] RORY: So I have to choose. Which wife do I want? AMY: She is me. We're both me. RORY: You being here is wrong. For a single day, an hour, let alone a lifetime. I swore to protect you. I promised. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Rory [Temporal Engine room] RORY: This is your fault. [Tardis] DOCTOR: I'm so sorry, but, Rory [Temporal Engine room] RORY: No, this is your fault! You should look in a history book once in a while, see if there's an outbreak of [Tardis] RORY [OC]: Plague or not. DOCTOR: That is not how I travel. [Temporal Engine room] RORY: Then I do not want to travel with you! (Rory takes off the glasses and throws them away. In the Tardis, the Doctor can hear younger Amy crying.) DOCTOR [OC]: Rory, is the Time Glass still on? If the link's still active, I think I can hear Amy. Our Amy. (It is. Rory looks through it to see her standing nearby.) RORY: Oh, Amy. [Amy's lair] RORY: Look me in the face and say you won't help her. AMY: I will not help her. RORY: Okay, okay. Look me in the face and say it now. (He holds up the Time Glass so that Amy can see her weeping younger self.) AMY [in glass]: Rory? Rory is that you? (Rory sonicks the Time Glass so that it appears in the past.) [Past Temporal Engine room] AMY: Rory, where are you? RORY [OC]: Same place as you, and a bit ahead. [Amy's lair] OLDER AMY: I remember this. AMY [in glass]: But who's she? There's no one else here but. Me? (Rory the Handbot holds the glasses out to Rory with his hook.) [Past Temporal Engine room] AMY: Why are we still here? [Amy's lair] OLDER AMY: Because they leave you. Because they get in their Tardis and they fly away. [Past Temporal Engine room] AMY: No. Rory wouldn't, not ever. Something must have stopped him. [Amy's lair] OLDER AMY: You did. Or rather, the old version of you. [Past Temporal Engine room] OLDER AMY [in glass]: The me version of you. I refuse to help them. I won't let them save myself. AMY: Why? [Amy's lair] OLDER AMY: If you escape, then I was never trapped here. The last thirty six years of my life rewrites, and I cease to exist. That's why old me refused to help then. That's why I'm refusing to help now. And that's why you'll refuse to help when it's your turn. And nothing you can say will change that. [Past Temporal Engine room] AMY: Three words. What about Rory? OLDER AMY [in glass]: Rory? [Amy's lair] OLDER AMY: I called my robot Rory. AMY [in glass]: You called your robot Rory? [Past Temporal Engine room] AMY: Oh, so you didn't call it the Doctor, or Biggles [Amy's lair] AMY [in glass]: Our favourite cat? OLDER AMY: Do you, er, do you [Past Temporal Engine room] OLDER AMY [in glass]: Remember that summer when he came back to school with that ridiculous haircut? AMY: He said he'd been in a rock band. [Amy's lair] OLDER AMY: Liar. And, and then he had to learn to play the guitar. [Past Temporal Engine room] AMY: So we wouldn't know he couldn't play it. Mmm hmm. [Amy's lair] OLDER AMY: All those boys chasing me, but it was only ever Rory. Why was that? [Past Temporal Engine room] AMY: You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful [Amy's lair] AMY [in glass]: And then you actually talk to them, and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick? [Past Temporal Engine room] AMY: Then there's other people, and you meet them and think, not bad, they're okay. And then you get to know them, and their face just sort of becomes them, like their personality's written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful. BOTH: Rory's the most beautiful man I've ever met. AMY: Please? Do it for him. [Amy's lair] OLDER AMY: You're asking me to defy destiny, causality, the nexus of time itself, for a boy. [Past Temporal Engine room] AMY: You're Amy, he's Rory, and oh yes, I am. [Temporal Engine room] (Rory has been waiting outside all this time.) OLDER AMY: I am going to pull time apart for you. (She kisses Rory. Rory the Handbot discreetly turns its back.) [Tardis] OLDER AMY [in glass]: Okay, Doctor, Twostreams is back on air. Right, okay, so this is big news. [Temporal Engine room] OLDER AMY: This is temporal earthquake time. I am now officially changing my own future. Hold on to your spectacles. In my past, I saw my future self refuse to help you. I'm now changing that future and [Tardis] OLDER AMY [in glass]: Agreeing. Every law of time says that shouldn't be possible. DOCTOR: Yes, except sometimes knowing your own future's what enables you to change it. Especially if you're bloody minded, contradictory [Arrivals area] DOCTOR [OC]: And completely unpredictable. RORY: So basically, if you're Amy, then? DOCTOR [OC]: Yes, if anyone could defeat pre-destiny, [Tardis] DOCTOR: It's your wife. [Arrivals area] OLDER AMY: It's not about what I'm doing, but who I'm doing it for. I'm trusting you to watch my back, Rory. RORY: Always. You and me, always. OLDER AMY: Because here's the deal. You take me, too. In the Tardis. Me too. RORY: But that means that there'll be two of you. [Tardis] RORY [on screen]: Permanently. Forever. OLDER AMY [on screen]: And that way we both get to live. [Arrivals area] RORY: Two Amys together. Can that work? DOCTOR [OC]: I don't know. [Tardis] DOCTOR: It's your marriage. [Arrivals area] RORY: Doctor. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Perhaps. Maybe, if I shunted the reality compensators on the Tardis, re-calibrated the Doomsday bumpers and jettisoned the karaoke bar, yes. Maybe. Yes. It could do it. The Tardis could sustain the paradox. [Arrivals area] RORY: Right. Amy and Amy. (Young Amy is there, seen through the Time Glass.) RORY: The wife and the wife. Right. Right. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Okay. Amy, Past Amy, stand by the door. Future Amy, you too. [Arrivals area] DOCTOR [OC]: Future Amy, can I borrow your sonic scr [Tardis] DOCTOR: Probe. [Arrivals area] OLDER AMY: It's a screwdriver. DOCTOR [OC]: Rory, sonic it. Double our power. Amy Now, you're our link to Amy Then. [Tardis] DOCTOR: We need to get a signal through, and that signal [Arrivals area] DOCTOR [OC]: Will be a thought. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Amy Now and Amy Then, share a thought. Something so [Arrivals area] DOCTOR: Powerful that it can rip through time. Rory [Tardis] DOCTOR: Sonic the plinth front. Inside you'll find [Arrivals area] DOCTOR [OC]: Three levers and a jumble of wiring. [Tardis] DOCTOR: That's the regulator valve. After we re-route it, you have ten minutes to get back to the Tardis. [Arrivals area] RORY: Okay. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Pull out the red and green receptors. Re-route the blue into the red and [Arrivals area] DOCTOR [OC]: The green into blue. Leave the red loose and on no account [Tardis] DOCTOR: Touch anything yellow. Come on, Rory. It's hardly rocket science. It's just [Arrivals area] DOCTOR: Quantum physics. RORY: Yes, right. Blue into red and then green DOCTOR [OC]: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Now, the levers. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Throw them in order. [Arrivals area] DOCTOR [OC]: And Amys, start thinking the most important thought you have ever had. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Hold it in your head and do not let it go. Lever one. [Arrivals area] BOTH AMYS: Macarena. Macarena. RORY: She's doing the Macarena. BOTH AMYS: Macarena. Macarena. RORY: Our first kiss. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Lever two, Rory. Lever three. (The Time Glass and the screen blow out. The past Arrivals area is empty.) [Arrivals area] (Both Amys are together.) RORY: Oh, Amy. AMY: Oh, my God. OLDER AMY: Oh, my God. (Rory hugs young Amy. Older Amy looks a bit embarrassed.) RORY: Sorry. OLDER AMY: Hello. AMY: Hello. BOTH: I don't know what to RORY: Weird. BOTH: Okay, this is weird. Right, just stop doing that. RORY: How about Amy One speaks first? BOTH: Which one's Amy One? RORY: Well BOTH: I am. No, I am. Rory? Rory, just stop doing that. (The Rory-cam glasses start to spark.) [Tardis] DOCTOR: Rory. Rory, take the glasses off. You're getting temporal feedback. (Bits of the console go bang.) DOCTOR: Whoa! Calm down, dear. Rory, Amy, we've created a massive paradox and the Tardis hates it. She's self-phasing, trying to get out of here. What's the nasty Amy done to you. Just calm down, dear. Hang on in there. Rory, you've got eight minutes left. I'm sorry, you're on your own now. (The glasses explode.) [Arrivals area] RORY: I'm not on my own. I've got my wives. HANDBOT: Do not be alarmed. RORY: Incoming! HANDBOT: This is a kindness. OLDER AMY: With me. (Older Amy gives her younger self a stout staff.) HANDBOT: Do not be alarmed, this is a kindness. This is a kindness. OLDER AMY: Amy, Kate Hayler, year ten hockey. AMY: Go for the shins. HANDBOT: This is a kindness. (With those disposed of, more Handbots beam in.) RORY: They're cutting off the Departure Gate. We can't get back to the Tardis. OLDER AMY: Side door. We'll go behind them. [Staircase] AMY: So you think you're going to come with us, just like that. OLDER AMY: Yeah, just like that. AMY: Rory, talk to her. OLDER AMY: Rory, talk to her. RORY: Now, ladies [Basement] AMY: Where are you going to live? OLDER AMY: Not with you, don't worry. I'll go travelling. Pop back for Christmas, maybe Easter. RORY: Amy, you always say, cooking Christmas dinner, you wish there was two of you. [Gate Room] RORY: Can't we just teleport in? OLDER AMY: It's not a teleport, it's a time jump. AMY: They can't shunt within the same timestream. OLDER AMY: Yes. RORY: The Tardis is in the Gallery. INTERFACE: Gallery closed. OLDER AMY: The controls are stuck. They've locked them from outside. RORY: Can you unlock them? OLDER AMY: Yeah, give me a minute and your cutest smile. That's the one. RORY: Can you stop flirting with me. You're old enough to be my OLDER AMY: I've known you my whole life. How many games of Doctors And Nurses? Shush. Don't get coy now. AMY: Er (Handbots enter via the portals. Rory tries to sonic the control column.) HANDBOT: Do not be alarmed. This is a kindness. Do not be alarmed. This is a kindness. Do not be alarmed. This is a kindness. (Older Amy starts swinging her katana.) OLDER AMY: No! RORY: Come on. OLDER AMY: Go! I've got your back. [Gallery] (There are Handbots waiting there.) HANDBOT: Do not be alarmed. This is a kindness. (Amy gets touched.) RORY: No! (He smashes the Mona Lisa over the Handbot's head, and picks Amy up as Older Amy finally comes through the portal. She stares as he runs with his Amy into the Tardis without looking back.) [Tardis] DOCTOR: Ah, it's just an anaesthetic. She'll be fine. (The Doctor goes to the door. Older Amy starts running towards the Tardis.) DOCTOR: I'm sorry. (And slams the door in her face.) RORY: What are you doing? DOCTOR: I lied to her, Rory. There can never be two Amys in the Tardis. The paradox is too massive. RORY: You can't leave her. She'll die. [Gallery] OLDER AMY: Doctor, let me in. [Tardis] DOCTOR: No, she'll never have existed. When we save our Amy, this future won't have happened. RORY: But she happened. She's there. OLDER AMY [OC]: I trusted you! DOCTOR: No, she's not real. RORY: She is real. Let her in. DOCTOR: Look, we take this Amy, we leave ours. Only one Amy in the Tardis. Which one do you want? (The Doctor puts Rory's hand on the door latch.) DOCTOR: It's your choice. RORY: This isn't fair. You're turning me into you. DOCTOR: Your choice, Rory. RORY: I, er OLDER AMY [OC]: Doctor? Doctor! Doctor? Doctor? [Gallery] OLDER AMY: Rory, please. (She puts her hand against a glass pane in the door. Rory does the same.) OLDER AMY: The look on your face when you carried her. Me. Her. [Tardis] OLDER AMY [OC]: When you carried her away. You used to look at me like that. [Gallery] OLDER AMY: I'd forgotten how much you loved me. I'd forgotten how much I loved being her. Amy Pond, in the Tardis, with Rory Williams. [Tardis] RORY: I'm sorry, I can't do this. (He unlatches the door.) [Gallery] OLDER AMY: If you love me, don't let me in. Open that door, I will, I'll come in. I don't want to die. I won't bow out bravely. [Tardis] OLDER AMY [OC]: I'll be kicking and screaming, fighting. [Gallery] OLDER AMY: To the end. [Tardis] RORY: Amy. Amy, I love you. [Gallery/Tardis] (Split screen.) OLDER AMY: I love you, too. Don't let me in. Tell Amy, your Amy, I'm giving her the days. The days with you. The days to come. RORY: I'm so, so sorry. OLDER AMY: The days I can't have. Take them, please. [Tardis] OLDER AMY [OC]: I'm giving you my days. RORY: I'm so, so sorry. [Gallery] (Five more Handbots.) HANDBOT: Do not be alarmed. This is a kindness. [Tardis] HANDBOT [OC]: Do not be alarmed. This is a kindness. [Gallery] OLDER AMY: Interface? INTERFACE: I am here, Amy Pond. OLDER AMY: Show me Earth. Show me home. Did I ever tell you about this boy I met there, who pretended to be in a band? (A Handbot touches Older Amy, and she collapses. The Tardis dematerialises.) [Tardis] RORY: Did you always know it would never work? Saving both Amys? DOCTOR: I promised you I'd save her, and there she is. Safe. RORY: Yeah, there she is. (Amy is waking up. The Doctor sticks his tongue out at her.) DOCTOR: I'll leave you two alone. RORY: You all right? AMY: Mmm hmm. RORY: How are you feeling? AMY: Where is she? [Hotel] (A lone policewoman walks the corridors of a deserted hotel, then opens the door to room 214. There is a sad clown in there, holding a balloon and sitting on the bed.) LUCY [OC]: My name is Lucy Hayward, and I'm the last one left. (Room 215 has an old-fashioned photographer with a girl and a birthday cake.) LUCY [OC]: It's funny. You don't know what's going to be in your room until you see it, then you realise it could have never been anything else. (Further along is a second Room 214, and a gorilla comes out of the bathroom. Lucy remembers some news reports, screams and backs out. She writes in her notebook.) LUCY [OC]: The gaps between my worship are getting shorter. This is what happened to the others. It's all so clear now. I'm so happy. Praise him. Praise him. (Something big, heavy and snarling comes down the corridor. She stands to meet it.) LUCY [OC]: Praise him. VOICE [OC]: Praise him. [Staircase] (Of the same hotel. The Tardis has parked herself on the first floor landing of a staircase which winds its way up the floors in a tight set of flights.) AMY: Let's go to Ravan-Skala, he says. The people are six hundred feet tall. You have to talk to them in hot air balloons and the Tourist Information Centre is made of one of their hats, he says. I'm sorry, but I don't see any huge hats. DOCTOR: Amy, Beaky, this could be the most exciting thing I have ever seen. RORY: You're kidding. AMY: How can you be excited about a rubbish hotel on a rubbish bit of Earth? [Reception] DOCTOR: Because, assembled Ponds, this is not Earth. This has just been made to look like Earth. The craftsmanship involved. Can you imagine? AMY: What? Then where are we? DOCTOR: I don't know. Something must have yanked us off course. Look at the detail on that cheese plant! RORY: Right, but who would mock up an Earth hotel? (The Doctor finds an apple in a large bowl.) DOCTOR: Colonists maybe, recreating a bit of home, like when ex-pats open English pubs in Majorca. No, whoever did this, I am shaking his stroke her hand stroke tentacle. RORY: Have you seen these? Look at the labels underneath. (A set of photographs on the wall.) RORY: Commander Halke, defeat. (A Sontaran.) RORY: Tim Heath, having his photo taken. Lady Silver-Tear, Daleks. AMY: Paige Barnes, other people's socks. Tim Nelson, balloons. Novice Prin, sabrewolves. Royston Luke Gold, Plymouth? Lucy Hayward, that brutal gorilla. Doctor, what does it mean? DOCTOR: I don't know. Let's find out. (He rings the bell on the desk and three people appear, two of them brandishing objects as weapons, the third waving a white flag.) RORY: Whoa! DOCTOR: Blimey, that was a bit quick. GIBBIS: We surrender. (A grey alien with slightly rodent front teeth and no hair.)  RORY: No, it's okay, we're not GIBBIS: We surrender. RORY: We're nice. DOCTOR: She's threatening me with a chair leg. RITA: Who are you? (Dressed in hospital scrubs.)  HOWIE: Oh god, we're back in reception. (A bespectacled awkward teenager.)  GIBBIS: We surrender. DOCTOR: I've never been threatened with a chair leg before. No, hang on, I tell a lie. AMY: Did you just say, it's okay, we're nice? RITA: Okay, I need everyone to shut up, now. (Someone or something is watching on the CCTV.) HOWIE: Rita, be careful, yeah? RITA: Their pupils are dilated. They're as surprised as we are. Besides which, if it's a trick, it'll tell us something. DOCTOR: Oh, you're good. Oh, she's good. Amy, with regret, you're fired. AMY: What? DOCTOR: I'm kidding. (silent) We'll talk. (normal) I take it from the pathological compulsion to surrender, you're from Tivoli. GIBBIS: Yes. The most invaded planet in the galaxy. Our anthem is called Glory To Insert Name Here. DOCTOR: You with the face, Howie, you said you were surprised to be back in reception. HOWIE: The walls move. Everything changes. DOCTOR: You, clever one. What's he talking about? RITA: The corridors twist and stretch. Rooms vanish and pop up somewhere else. It's like the hotel's alive. (The Doctor turns off the musak.) DOCTOR: That's quite enough of that. HOWIE: Yeah, and it's huge, with, like, no way out. RORY: Have you tried the front door? RITA: No. In two days it never occurred to us to try the front door. Thank God you're here. (Amy laughs. The Doctor opens the front doors.) DOCTOR: They're not doors, they're walls. Walls that look like doors. Door-walls, if you like, or dwalls. Woors even, though you'd probably got it when you said they're not doors. I mean, the windows are (Pulls back the curtains to reveal more bricks.) DOCTOR: Right, big day if you're a fan of walls. RITA: It's not just that. The rooms have things in them. DOCTOR: Things? Hello! What kind of things? Interesting things? I love things, ask anyone. RITA: Bad dreams. DOCTOR: Well, that killed the mood. How did you get here? RITA: I don't know. I'd just started my shift. I must have passed out, because suddenly I was here. HOWIE: I was blogging. Next thing, this. GIBBIS: Oh, I was at work. I'm in Town Planning. We're lining all the highways with trees so invading forces can march in the shade. DOCTOR: Ah. GIBBIS: Which is nice for them. ALL: Yeah. DOCTOR: So, what have we got. People snatched from their lives and dropped into an endless, shifting maze that looks like a 1980s hotel with bad dreams in the bedrooms. (The Doctor takes George's Rubik's cube from his pocket.) DOCTOR: Well, apart from anything else, that's just rude. [First floor landing] DOCTOR: We'll pop back to the Tardis, I'll do a planet-wide diagnostic sweep, and then we'll have a sing song. AMY: Where's the Tardis? You parked it there, didn't you? HOWIE: What's a Tardis? RORY: Our way out. And it's gone. (The musak starts up again.) DOCTOR: Okay, this is bad. At the moment, I don't know how bad, but certainly we're three buses, a long walk and eight quid in a taxi from good. Are there any more of you? RITA: Joe. But he's tied up right now. DOCTOR: Doing what? RITA: No, I mean he's tied up right now. [Restaurant] (Joe is tied to a chair. All the tables are populated with ventriloquist's dummies, which are laughing. They fall silent and look around as the Doctor enters, followed by Amy and Rory, then the others.) DOCTOR: Hello. I'm the Doctor. JOE: We're going to die here. DOCTOR: Well, they certainly didn't mention that in the brochure. Is Joe there? Can I have a quick word? JOE: Oh, it's still me, Doctor, but I've seen the light. I lived a blasphemous life, but he has forgiven my inconstancy, and soon he shall feast. DOCTOR: Well, you've been here two days. What's he waiting for? JOE: We weren't ready. We were still raw. DOCTOR: But now you're what, cooked? (The Doctor observes Joe's horseshoe tie clip and dice cufflinks.) JOE: If you like. Soon you will be, too. Be patient. First, find your room. DOCTOR: My room. JOE: There's a room here for everyone, Doctor. Even you. DOCTOR: You said you'd seen the light now. JOE: Nothing else matters anymore. Only him. It's like these things. I used to hate them. They make me laugh now. Gottle o' geer. Gottle o' geer. (Laughter.) JOE: You should go. He'll be here soon. DOCTOR: I think you should come with me. (The Doctor slides a luggage trolley under Joe's chair.) [Reception] DOCTOR: Why you four? That's what I don't understand. Aside from all the other things I don't understand. GIBBIS: What does it matter? Sooner or later, someone will come along and rescue us. (He turns off the musak.) GIBBIS: Or enslave us. DOCTOR: First, we find the Tardis. Quick thing before we go. If you feel drawn to a particular room, do not go in, and make sure someone else can see you at all times. RITA: Joe said, he will feast. Is there something here with us? DOCTOR: Something to add, Joe? JOE: Here comes a candle to light you to bed. Here comes a chopper to chop off your head. Chop, chop, chop, chop. HOWIE: Can we do something about him? [First floor corridor] (Joe's mouth has been taped shut, and Gibbis is wheeling him along.) GIBBIS: Personally, I think you've got the right idea. Times like this, I think of my old school motto. Resistance Is Exhausting. HOWIE: I've worked out where we are. RORY: Hmm? HOWIE: Norway. RORY: Norway? HOWIE: You see, the US government has entire cities hidden in the Norwegian mountains. You see, Earth is on a collision course with this other planet, and this is where they're going to send all the rich people when it kicks off. RORY: Amazing. HOWIE: It's all there on the internet. RORY: No, it's amazing you've come up with a theory even more insane than what's actually happening. (A man in his underwear and with a whistle around his neck steps out of room 158.) DOCTOR: Hello. TEACHER: Have you forgotten your PE kit again? Right, that's it, you're doing it in your pants! (And goes back inside the room.) DOCTOR: Hey! Don't! (Howie opens room 155. There are a lot of pretty girls there.) BLONDE: Oh, look, girls, it's H-H-H-Howie! BRUNETTE: What's loser in K-K-K-Klingon? HOWIE [OC]: Praise him. HOWIE: Shut the d, d, d, the door. This is just some m, m, messed up CIA stuff, I'm, I'm, I'm telling you. DOCTOR: You're right. Keep telling yourself that. It's a CIA thing, nothing more. [Second floor corridor] (They find the pages from PC Lucy's notebook. Rory kneels to tie his shoelace and spots a Fire Exit.) RORY: Er guys? AMY: Look. (Something roars.) AMY: Okay, whatever that is, it's not real, yeah? DOCTOR: No. No, I'm sure it isn't, but just in case, let's run away and hide anyway. In here. (Rita pulls Joe's chair into a room.) RORY: No, this way! I've found a (The Fire Exit door becomes room 219.) [Rita's room] FATHER: A B in mathematics? You are lazy. Do you understand me, girl? Lazy. RITA: I'm sorry. Daddy, I'm so sorry. RITA [OC]: Praise him. [Second floor corridor] DOCTOR: Rory, come on! RORY: There was a DOCTOR: Come on! [Gibbis' room] DOCTOR: Eek! (There are Weeping Angels here.) AMY: Don't blink. HOWIE: What? (The lights flicker. The Angels have moved forward.) DOCTOR: Amy, get back. Why haven't they got us yet? (He steps forward and tries to touch an Angel. His hand goes through it.) DOCTOR: Amy, they're not real. AMY: What? DOCTOR: They should have got us by now. Amy, look at me. Focus on me. It's your bad dream, that's all. RORY: I don't even think they're for us. (Gibbis is hiding in the wardrobe. Something is stomping slowly down the corridor.) AMY: Doctor, what are you doing? DOCTOR: I'm sorry, I just have to see what it is. I just have to see. (He looks through the security peep hole in the door.) DOCTOR: Oh, look at you. Oh, you are beautiful. Oh, dear. (The ropes fall off Joe. He rips off his gag and goes into the corridor.) DOCTOR: I think it's going after Joe. [Second floor corridor] JOE: Come on, come to me. Come to me. Argh! JOE [OC]: Praise him. (It all goes quiet. Gibbis looks out of the wardrobe and the Doctor goes into the corridor. He sees a shadow turning the corner at the end.) DOCTOR: Leave him alone! (He runs through the maze of identical corridors.) [Staircase] DOCTOR: Joe! [Corridors] DOCTOR: Joe! Joe! (He finds him slumped by a wall.) "DOCTOR; Joe? Joe! Joe. Joe, what happened?" [Restaurant] (Someone boils a kettle. Joe is laid on a table and the Doctor is scanning him.) RORY: If we can wedge a chair under the door handles, that should stop anything from getting in. RITA: Help yourself to tea. Guys, tea over here. AMY: If it's any consolation, I've met the Weeping Angels, so I know how. In fact, I thought that room was for me. GIBBIS: Joe was right. Whatever it is in here, it actually wants to kill us. Not oppress us or enslave us, kill us! AMY: Listen. The Doctor's been part of my life for so long now, and he's never let me down. Even when I thought he had, when I was a kid and he left me, he came back. He saved me. And now he's going to save you. But don't tell him I said that, because the smugness would be terrifying. GIBBIS: Of course, if the Weeping Angels were meant for me, then your room is still out there somewhere. RITA: Tea? RORY: Every time the Doctor gets pally with someone, I have this overwhelming urge to notify their next of kin. (laughs then flinches) Ooo. Sorry. The last time I said something like that, you hit me with your shoe. And you literally had to sit down and unlace it first. RITA: What exactly happened to him? DOCTOR: He died. RITA: You are a medical doctor, aren't you? You haven't just got a degree in cheese-making or something. DOCTOR: No! Well, yes, both, actually. I mean, there is no cause. All his vital organs simply stopped, as if the simple spark of life, his loves and hates, his faiths and fears were just taken, and this is a cup of tea. RITA: Of course, I'm British, it's how we cope with trauma. That and tutting. DOCTOR: But how did you make it? RITA: All hotels should have a well stocked kitchen, even alien fake ones. I heard you talking when you arrived. Look, it's no more ridiculous than Howie's CIA theory, or mine. DOCTOR: Which is? RITA: This is Jahannam. DOCTOR: You're a Muslim. RITA: Don't be frightened. DOCTOR: Ha! You think this is Hell. RITA: The whole '80s hotel thing took me by surprise, though. DOCTOR: And all these fears and phobias wandering about, most are completely unconnected to us, so why are they still here? RITA: Maybe the cleaners have gone on strike. DOCTOR: Ha! I like you. You're a right clever clogs. But this isn't Hell, Rita. RITA: You don't understand. I say that without fear. Jahannam will play its tricks, and there'll be times when I want to run and scream, but I've tried to live a good life, and that knowledge keeps me sane, despite the monsters and the bonkers rooms. Gibbis is an alien, isn't he? DOCTOR: Yeah. Sorry. RITA: Okay. I'm going to file that under Freak Out About Later. AMY: Doctor, look at this. I found it in a corridor, I completely forgot I had it. DOCTOR: (reads) Er, my name is Lucy Hayward and I'm the last one left. It took Luke first. It got him on his first day, almost as soon as we arrived. LUCY [OC] + DOCTOR: It's funny. You don't know what's going to be in your room until you see it, then you realise it could never have been DOCTOR: Anything else. I just saw mine. It was a gorilla from a book I'd read as a kid. My God, that thing used to terrify me. The gaps between my worships are getting shorter, like contractions. LUCY [OC]: This is what happened to the others, and how lucky they were. It's all so clear now. I'm so happy. Praise him. DOCTOR: Praise him. HOWIE: Praise him. DOCTOR: What did you just say? HOWIE: Nothing. Praise him! GIBBIS: This is what happened to Joe! HOWIE: God, it's going to come for me now. GIBBIS: You'll lead it right here. DOCTOR: I won't leave you. I promise you. You have my word on that. HOWIE: I don't want to get eaten. AMY: Calm down. GIBBIS: He's going to lead the creature right here! DOCTOR: Hold it! (He fires his sonic screwdriver to get silence.) DOCTOR: Thank you. GIBBIS: Don't you see? He'll lead it right here. RITA: What do you suggest? GIBBIS: Look, whatever it is out there, it's obviously chosen Howard as its next course. Now, tragic though that is, this is no time for sentiment. I'm saying if it were to find him, it may be satisfied and let the rest of us go. All I want to do is go home and be conquered and oppressed. Is that too much to ask?! RITA: It's okay. I'll stay with Howie. You take the others and go. DOCTOR: No. We stay together. (He goes over to Gibbis.) DOCTOR: Your civilisation is one of the oldest in the galaxy. Now I see why. Your cowardice isn't quaint, it's sly, aggressive. It's how that gene of gutlessness has survived while so many others have perished. Well, not today. No one else dies today. Right? Brilliant. Howie, any second, it's going to possess you again. When it does, I'm going to ask you some questions. Please try to answer them. HOWIE: I hope my mum's all right, she's going to be w, worried. DOCTOR: Howie? Howie. Howie, you're next. We're all dead jealous. So, tell us. How do we get a piece of the action? Why isn't he possessing all of us? HOWIE: You guys have got all these distractions, all these obstacles. It'd be so much easier if you just let it go, you know? Clear the path. AMY: You want it to find you even though you know what it's going to do? HOWIE: Are you kidding? He's going to kill us all. How cool is that? (They leave Howie at the table.) DOCTOR: It's as I thought. It feeds on fear. Everything, the rooms, Lucy's note, even the pictures in reception, has been put here to frighten us. So we have to resist it. Do whatever you have to. Cross your fingers, say a prayer, think of a basket of kittens, but do not give in to the fear. AMY: Okay, but what are we actually going to do? DOCTOR: We're going to catch ourselves a monster. [Pasiphae Spa] (They scatter around to try and trap it. The name Pasiphae confirms the monster as a Minotaur, to me at least.) HOWIE [OC]: Bring me death! Bring me glory! My master, my lord, I'm here! Come to me. I'm waiting here for you. He has promised me a glorious death. Give it to me now. I want him to know my devotion. (Rory is armed with a mop.) [Room 216] (The sad clown.) RITA: Anything to do with you? How's it going? AMY: Don't talk to the clown. (Something with hooves stomps past the door, its horns scraping on the ceiling, and into the Spa.) [Second floor corridor] HOWIE [OC]: Praise him. Praise him. (Amy gets a baton of wood. Rita shuts the Spa doors and Amy jams the wood through the handles.) AMY: Rory, he's in! (He uses the mop to jam the other doors. The Doctor turns out the lights.) HOWIE [OC]: Let his name be the last thing I hear. Let his breath on my skin be the last thing I feel. I was lost in shadows, but he found me. [Reception] (Howie is actually here, tied to a chair, and his voice is being transmitted through the intercom.) HOWIE: His love was a beacon that led me from darkness to light, and now I am blinded by his majesty. Humbled by his glory! Praise [Pasiphae Spa] DOCTOR: That's quite enough of that. HOWIE [OC]: Him. (The Doctor pulls out the wires.) [Reception] HOWIE: What's going on? You lied to me. GIBBIS: Calm down, Howie. This is for your own good. HOWIE: Oh, at least stand where I can see you. GIBBIS: I've been told not to speak to you. HOWIE: Don't mean you can't listen. [Pasiphae Spa] DOCTOR: Nothing personal. I just think we should take things slowly. Get to know each other. You take people's most primal fears and pop it in a room. A tailor-made hell, just for them. Why? (The Minotaur, for that is what it looks like, answers in snarls.) DOCTOR: Did you say they take? Ah, what is that word? The guard? No, the warden? This is a prison. [Reception] HOWIE: You were right, you know. Chances are, if you hand me over, he'll leave you alone. GIBBIS: Yes, well, we saw how that idea got shot down in flames. HOWIE: It's not like chucking me out of a plane to lighten the load. I'm asking you for this. I'm begging you. GIBBIS: You're possessed. You'd say anything. HOWIE: Possessed guys can be quite strong. Who's to say I didn't overpower you? [Pasiphae Spa] DOCTOR: So what are we, cell mates? Lunch? We are not ripe. This is what Joe said, that we weren't ready. So, what, what, you make us ready. You what? Replace? Replace what, fear? You have lived so long even your name is lost. You want this to stop. Because you are just instinct. Then tell me. Tell me how to fight you. HOWIE [OC]: My master, my lord. I'm here! [Outside the Spa] RITA: That's Howie. AMY: He's got out. [Staircase] HOWIE: Oh, bring me death. [Pasiphae Spa] DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no! Rory, watch out! (Amy and Rita burst in.) DOCTOR: Stay back! (The Minotaur smashes a glass door and knocks Rory down.) DOCTOR: Pond, bring the fish. AMY: What, the fish? Oh, the fish. DOCTOR: Where'd he go? [Outside the Spa] RORY: Somebody hit me. Was it Amy? (The Doctor gives chase, and finds Howie's broken glasses.) "RITA; Rory, are you all right?" AMY: We should find the Doctor. (Amy is drawn to room 7. She opens it.) VOICES: Praise him. Praise him. (Rita pulls her back and shuts it.) RITA: You shouldn't have done that. What did you see? AMY: Nothing. Nothing. I don't know. It was weird. RITA: Come on. [Corridor] (The Doctor finds Howie's body and returns his glasses. Gibbis approaches from the opposite direction to Amy, Rory and Rita.) GIBBIS: He got free. He overpowered me. It might leave us alone now. Maybe now we'll be safe. Wait! [Reception] (Howie's photograph is on the wall.) DOCTOR: Have you found your room yet? RORY: No. No. Is that good or bad? DOCTOR: Maybe you're not scared of anything. RORY: Well, after all the time I spent with you in the Tardis, what was left to be scared of? DOCTOR: You said that in the past tense. RORY: No, I didn't. You know, Howie had been in speech therapy. He'd just got over this massive stammer. What an achievement. I mean, can you imagine? I'd forgotten not all victories are about saving the universe. (Two bodies are laid out in the Restaurant. Amy puts the goldfish bowl from the Spa on a side table in Reception.) [Staircase] DOCTOR: Rita! Brilliant! How are you? Not panicking, are you? Good, good. Because I am literally an otter's toenail away from getting us out of here. RITA: Why? DOCTOR: Excellent question. Excellent question. Why what? DOCTOR: Why is it up to you to save us? That's quite a God complex you have there. DOCTOR: I brought them here. They'd say it was their choice, but offer a child a suitcase full of sweets and they'll take it. Offer someone all of time and space and they'll take that, too. Which is why you shouldn't. Which is why grown-ups were invented. RITA: All of time and space, eh? DOCTOR: Oh, yeah. And when we get out of this, I'll show you too. RITA: I don't know what you're talking about, but whatever it was, I have a feeling you just did it again. (The Doctor spots the CCTV camera.) DOCTOR: Right down to the smallest detail. Got you, Mister Minotaur. (The Doctor goes back downstairs. Rita goes up to the camera.) RITA: Praise him. [Corridor] VOICES [OC]: Praise him. Praise him. Praise him. Praise him. Praise him. Praise him. Praise him. Praise him. (The Doctor is drawn to Room 11. He opens the door.) DOCTOR: Of course. Who else? (He shuts the door and puts the Do Not Disturb notice on it. Downstairs, Gibbis is drawn to the goldfish.) [Security room] (Nine screens in a bank on the wall.) DOCTOR: Oh, you beauty. Come on, big fellow, where are you? Rita, where are you going? (He phones room 311. She hears it and stops.) DOCTOR: Come on, come on, come on! Come on. (The phone is answered.) DOCTOR: Rita, where are you going? Can you take the phone into the corridor? Will it reach? (She does.) DOCTOR: You started to praise it, didn't you? (She nods.) DOCTOR: Rita, come back, please. We'll find a way to stop it, I swear to you. RITA [on screen]: No, I need to get as far away from you all as possible. DOCTOR: No, no, no, you don't. The creature only wants whoever's praising it. RITA [on screen]: And then you'll put yourself in its way. DOCTOR: I'm coming to get you. Block out the fear and stay focused on your belief. RITA [on screen]: The hotel will keep us apart. I could be fifty miles away by now. (Growl.) RITA [on screen]: I want you to do me one last favour, Doctor. I can feel the rapture approaching, like a wave. I don't want you to witness this. I want you to remember me the way I was. (Amy and Rory enter.) AMY: What's going on? Rita's disappeared. What's she doing there? DOCTOR: Rita. Rita, please. Let me find you. RITA [on screen]: You stay where you are. Please, let me be robbed of my faith in private. DOCTOR: Look, Rita. Rita. Go into the room. Lock the door. RITA [on screen]: I'm not frightened. I'm blessed, Doctor. [Corridor] (The Minotaur is close.) RITA: I'm at peace. [Security room] RITA [on screen]: I'm going to hang up. DOCTOR: No. No, no, Rita. RITA [on screen]: Goodbye, Doctor. DOCTOR: Rita! RITA [on screen]: Thank you for trying. DOCTOR: Rita, please! Please! Please. (Rita puts down the phone and waits, smiling, as the shadow of the Minotaur is cast over her. The Doctor sonics the monitor off.) [Bar] (Gibbis is raiding the kitchen. Three bodies laid out now. The Doctor is smashing breakables in frustration.) DOCTOR: Okay. It preys on people's fear and possesses them. But Rita wasn't afraid. She was brave and calm. Maybe it's something to do with the people, some connection between the four of you that'll tell me how to fight it. GIBBIS: Yes, you keep saying that, but you never do. And while we wait, people keep dying. And we'll be next. AMY: Look, he'll work it out. He always does. Just let him riff and move anything expensive out of his way. DOCTOR: Oh, no. Oh, no, no. AMY: Doctor, what is wrong? DOCTOR: It's not fear. It's faith. Not just religious faith, faith in something. Howard believed in conspiracies, that external forces controlled the world. Joe had dice cufflinks and a chain with a horseshoe. He was a gambler. Gamblers believe in luck, an intangible force that helps them win or lose. Gibbis has rejected any personal autonomy and is waiting for the next batch of invaders to oppress him and tell him what to do. They all believe there's something guiding them, about to save them. That's what it replaces. Every time someone was confronted with their most primal fear, they fell back on their most fundamental faith. And all this time, I have been telling you to dig deep, find the thing that keeps you brave. I made you expose your faith, show them what they needed. RORY: But why us? Why are we here? DOCTOR: It doesn't want you. That's why it kept showing you a way out. You're not religious or superstitious, so there's no faith for you to fall back on. It wants her. AMY: Me? Why? DOCTOR: Your faith in me. That's what brought us here. RORY: But why do they lose their faith before they die and start worshipping it? DOCTOR: It needs to convert the faith into a form it can consume. Faith is an energy, the specific emotional energy the creature needs to live. Which is why at the end of her note, Lucy said AMY: Praise him. DOCTOR: Exactly. RORY: No. Oh, please, no. (Stomp, stomp, growl.) [Corridor] (They run. Amy stops at a crossroads.) DOCTOR: Amy? What are you doing? AMY: He is beautiful. GIBBIS: Leave her! Just leave her! (The Doctor grabs Amy and half-carries her away into -) [Amy's room] (Little Amelia is sitting on her suitcase, looking out of the window. Rory tries to hold the door shut as the Minotaur pounds on it. Amy drops to her knees.) AMY: Doctor, it's happening. It's changing me. It's changing my thoughts. DOCTOR: I can't save you from this. There's nothing I can do to stop this. AMY: What? DOCTOR: I stole your childhood and now I've led you by the hand to your death. But the worst thing is, I knew. I knew this would happen. This is what always happens. (The Minotaur bursts in.) DOCTOR: Forget your faith in me. I took you with me because I was vain. Because I wanted to be adored. Look at you. Glorious Pond, the girl who waited for me. I'm not a hero. I really am just a mad man in a box. And it's time we saw each other as we really are. (The Minotaur staggers backwards.) DOCTOR: Amy Williams, it's time to stop waiting. [Corridor] (The Minotaur collapses. The Doctor goes to it as the lights flicker.) DOCTOR: I severed the food supply, sacrificing their faith in me. I gave you the space to die. Shush, shush. (The hotel dissolves into a hologrid.) [Hologrid] AMY: What is it, a minotaur or an alien? Or an alien minotaur? That's not a question I thought I'd be asking this morning. DOCTOR: It's both, actually. Yeah. Here we go. (He reads a holographic database.) DOCTOR: Distant cousin of the Nimon. They descend on planets and set themselves up as gods to be worshipped. Which is fine, until the inhabitants get all secular and advanced enough to build bonkers prisons. RORY: Correction. Prisons in space. (He and Gibbis are looking down through a porthole.) AMY: Where are the guards? DOCTOR: No need for any. It's all automated. It drifts through space, snatching people with belief systems and converts their faith into food for the creature. GIBBIS: See that planet there? RORY: Which one? GIBBIS: There. The grey one there. RORY: Mmm hmm. GIBBIS: That's where I'm from. AMY: It didn't want just me, so you must believe in some god or someone, or they'd have shown you the door too. So what do Time Lords pray to? DOCTOR: According to the in-flight recorder, the programme developed glitches. It got stuck on the same setting, the fears from the people before us weren't tidied away. (The Minotaur growls.) AMY: What's it saying? DOCTOR: An ancient creature, drenched in the blood of the innocent, drifting in space through an endless, shifting maze. For such a creature, death would be a gift. Then accept it, and sleep well. I wasn't talking about myself. (The Minotaur dies.) GIBBIS: Could I have a lift? Just to the nearest galaxy would do. [Street] (The Tardis materialises on a leafy suburban street, with a row of terraced houses opposite a small park. One of them has a well preserved E-type Jaguar parked outside.) AMY: Don't tell me. This isn't Earth, that isn't a real house. And inside lives a goblin, who feeds on indecision. DOCTOR: No. Real Earth, real house, real door keys. AMY: You're not serious? RORY: The car too? But, that's my favourite car. How did you know that was my favourite car? DOCTOR: You showed me a picture of it once and said this is my favourite car. AMY: Rory, can you give us two minutes? Two minutes? RORY: She'll say that we can't accept it because it's too extravagant and we'll always feel a crippling sense of obligation. It's a risk I'm willing to take. AMY: Hey. (The Doctor leans against the long red bonnet with Amy.) AMY: So. You're leaving, aren't you? DOCTOR: You haven't seen the last of me. Bad Penny is my middle name. Seriously, the looks I get when I fill in a form, it's AMY: Why now? DOCTOR: Because you're still breathing. AMY: Well, I think this is about the washing up, personally. DOCTOR: I mean, you're right, there's still heaps of stuff out there to look at. Do you know, there's a planet whose name literally translates as Volatile Circus? Or maybe there's a bigger, scarier adventure waiting for you in there. AMY: Even so, it can't happen like this. After everything we've been through, Doctor. Everything. You can't just drop me off at my house and say goodbye like we've shared a cab. DOCTOR: And what's the alternative? Me standing over your grave? Over your broken body? Over Rory's body? AMY: If you bump into my daughter, tell her to visit her old mum sometime. DOCTOR: And look after him. AMY: Look after you. Bye. (The Doctor goes into the Tardis, and it dematerialises. Rory comes out of the house with champagne and glasses.) RORY: What happened? What's he doing? AMY: He's saving us. [Ladies clothing] (Evening. The Sanderson & Grainger department store sign and the street lights are flickering in the pedestrian area outside. The last customers are leaving.) WOMAN: Thank you. KELLY: Better cash up then. Suppose John Joe can just wait for me. SHONA: No, I'll do it. You head off. (The lights flicker again.) KELLY: When's the council going to fix this? Last night my telly went off in the middle of Top Model. SHONA: John Joe's waiting. I'll do the changing rooms, too. KELLY: Oh, thanks, Shona. [Craig's home] SOPHIE: There's a list on the fridge. CRAIG: I saw it. SOPHIE: And I've labelled the food and sort of numbered it. CRAIG: Sophie, you don't need to number food. SOPHIE: It's just a suggestion. Also, my mum might phone. CRAIG: Might? SOPHIE: And your Mum, and my Dad, and you know, just some people. CRAIG: I can cope on my own. Now, please go and have a rest. You need it. I love you. SOPHIE: I love you, too. And thank you for this. And I do know you can cope on your own. And I may have drawn some arrows in the fridge. CRAIG: You really have to go now. [Changing rooms] (There are garments and accessories scattered everywhere.) SHONA: Oh, Kelly. (One of the cubicle curtains moves in the flickering light.) SHONA: Hello? Sorry, we need to close up. Two minutes, okay? [Living room] CRAIG: Mum, it's not just you. I'm phoning everybody. I'm texting the world. Craig Owens can do it on his own. No one is coming to help me. (A knock at the door.) CRAIG: Mum, I'm going to have to call you back. I'm coping. I'm coping on my own. I'm coping on my own! [Front door] CRAIG: I'm coping on my own! DOCTOR: Hello, Craig. I'm back. CRAIG: She didn't. How could she phone you? DOCTOR: How could who phone me? Nobody phoned me, I'm just here. Oh, you've redecorated. I don't like it. CRAIG: It's a different house. We moved. DOCTOR: Yes, that's it. CRAIG: Doctor, what are you doing here? DOCTOR: Social call. Thought it was about time I tried one out. How are you? CRAIG: I'm fine. DOCTOR: This is the bit where I say I'm fine too, isn't it? I'm fine, too. Good. Love to Sophie. Bye. (The Doctor turns to leave, then the lights flicker.) DOCTOR: Something's wrong. (He runs inside and heads upstairs with the sonic screwdriver.) [Staircase] DOCTOR: On your own, you said. But you're not. You're not on your own. CRAIG: Just shush. DOCTOR: Increased sulphur emissions. And look at the state of this place. What are you not telling me? CRAIG: Doctor, please. DOCTOR: Shush. CRAIG: No, you shush. DOCTOR: Shush! CRAIG: Shush! DOCTOR: No, you shush! CRAIG: Doctor! [Changing rooms] SHONA: Hello, who's in there? [Alfie's bedroom] (The Doctor bursts in.) DOCTOR: Whatever you are, get off this planet. ALFIE: Whaaaa!! CRAIG: You've woken him! [Changing rooms] SHONA: Hello? Are you all right? (She pulls back the curtain to reveal - a Cyberman!) [Kitchen] DOCTOR: So when you say on your own CRAIG: Yes, I meant on my own with the baby. Yes. Because no one thinks I can cope on my own. Which is so unfair, because I can't cope on my own with him. I can't. He just cries all the time. I mean, do they have off switches? DOCTOR: Human beings. No. Believe me, I've checked. CRAIG: No, babies. DOCTOR: Same difference. Sometimes this works though. Shush. (Alfie goes quiet.) CRAIG: Can you teach me to do that? DOCTOR: Probably not. CRAIG: Oh, please. Come on, I need something. I'm rubbish at this. DOCTOR: At what? CRAIG: Being a dad. You read all the books, and they tell you you'll know what to do if you follow your instincts. I have no instinct. That's what this weekend's about, trying to prove to people I can do this one thing well. (The Doctor is flicking through the books on the table. He laughs at Daisy's Wild Ride.) DOCTOR: So, what did you call him? Will I blush? CRAIG: No, we didn't call him the Doctor. DOCTOR: No, I didn't think you would. CRAIG: He's called Alfie. What are you doing here anyway? DOCTOR: Yes, he likes that, Alfie, though personally he prefers to be called Stormageddon, Dark Lord Of All. CRAIG: Sorry, what? DOCTOR: That's what he calls himself. CRAIG: And how do you know that? DOCTOR: I speak baby. CRAIG: Of course you do. I don't even know when his nappy needs changing, and I'm the one supposed to be his dad. Oh. DOCTOR: Yeah. He's wondering where his mum is? Where is Sophie? CRAIG: She's gone away with Melina for the weekend. She needs a rest. DOCTOR: No, he's your dad. You can't just call him Not Mum. CRAIG: Not Mum? DOCTOR: That's you. Also Not Mum, that's me. And everybody else is peasants. That's a bit unfortunate. CRAIG: What are you here for? What's happening? DOCTOR: I just popped in to say hello. CRAIG: You don't do that. I checked upstairs when we moved, it's real. And next door, both sides, they're humans. Is it the fridge? Are there aliens in my fridge? DOCTOR: I just want to see you, Craig! Cross my hearts. I've been knocking about on my own for a bit. Bit of a farewell tour. One last thing, popping in to see you, then I'm off to the Alignment of Exedor. CRAIG: The Alignment of Exedor? DOCTOR: Seventeen galaxies in perfect unison. Meant to be spectacular. I can't miss it. Literally can't. It's locked in a time stasis field. I get one crack at flying my Tardis straight into it, if I get my dates right. Which I have. CRAIG: Sounds nice. (The Doctor looks through the local paper.) DOCTOR: So this is me, popping in and popping out again. Just being social. Just having a laugh. Never mind that. CRAIG: Never mind what? DOCTOR: Nothing. CRAIG: No, you've noticed something. You've got your noticing face on. I have nightmares about that face. DOCTOR: Ooo, nope, given up all that. Done noticing things. I didn't even notice that, for example. Well, got to go. Good seeing you, Craig. Goodbye, Stormageddon. CRAIG: No, no, wait, wait. Can you do the shushing thing? DOCTOR: No, it only works once, and only on life forms with underdeveloped brains. CRAIG: Hang on. You said farewell tour. What do you mean, farewell? DOCTOR: Shush. [Outside Craig's home] "DOCTOR; Just go. Stop noticing. Just go. Stop noticing, just go. Stop noticing, just go. Stop it. Am I noticing? No. No, I am not. And what I am not doing is scanning for electrical fluctuations. Oh, shut up, you. I'm just dropping in on a friend. The last thing I need right now is a patina of teleport energy. I'm going. Do you hear me? Going. Not staying, going. I am through saving them. I am going away now." [Toy department] (The Doctor is demonstrating a remote control helicopter to a group of children.) DOCTOR: It goes up tiddly up, it goes down tiddly down for only forty nine ninety nine, which I personally think is a bit steep, but then again it's your parents' cash and they'll only waste it on boring stuff like lamps and vegetables. Yawn! CRAIG: Yeah, Soph. Just enjoy your holiday. Yeah, coping. DOCTOR: Nobody panic, but I appear to be losing control. (The helicopter crashes near Craig.) CRAIG: Yeah, love you. DOCTOR: Oops. Guys, guys, ladies and gentlemen. While I deal with this awkward moment, you go and find your parents slash guardians. Try in lamps. Craig! CRAIG: What the hell are you doing here? DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. I work in a shop now. Here to help. Look, they gave me a badge with my name on in case I forget who I am. Very thoughtful, as that does happen. CRAIG: You were leaving. The Alignment of Exeter, what about that? One chance to see it, you said. DOCTOR: Well, I was on my way, you know. Saw a shop, got a job. You got to live in the moment. Craig, mind Yappy. CRAIG: What? DOCTOR: Yappy. The robot dog. Not so much fun as I remember. You look awful. CRAIG: I haven't slept, have I? I still can't stop him crying. I even tried singing to him last night. DOCTOR: Yeah, he did mention that he thought you were crying, too. He didn't get a wink. Yappy, say goodbye to Craig and Stormageddon. Goodbye, Craig. Goodbye, Stormageddon. (As the Doctor puts down the little robot dog, something whizzes past the end of the aisle.) DOCTOR: What was that? CRAIG: You're here for a reason, aren't you? You noticed something, and you're investigating it. And because it's you, it's going to be dangerous and alien. DOCTOR: Might not be. CRAIG: Doctor, I live here. I need to know. DOCTOR: No, you don't. CRAIG: My baby lives here. My son. DOCTOR: Sheila Clark went missing Tuesday. Atif Ghosh last seen Friday. Tom Luker last seen Sunday. CRAIG: Why's none of this on the front page? DOCTOR: Oh, page one has an exclusive on Nina, a local girl who got kicked off Britain's Got Talent. These people are on pages seven, nineteen, twenty two. Because no one's noticed yet. They're far too excited about Nina's emotional journey, which in fairness, is quite inspiring. CRAIG: And what else? (The Doctor wheels Alfie's buggy out into -) [Children's clothing] DOCTOR: These funny old power fluctuations which just happen to coincide with the disappearances. CRAIG: That's just the council putting in new cables, isn't it? (He stops at an Out Of Order lift.) DOCTOR: Oh yes, that's it. Mystery solved. Wasting my time. Now, you can go home and I can go to Exedor. Goodbye. (He uses his sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: And here's the lift. CRAIG: It says it's out of order. DOCTOR: Not any more. See? Here to help. CRAIG: It says danger. DOCTOR: Oh, rubbish. Lifts aren't dangerous. CRAIG: Do I look like I'm stupid? (Alfie makes a comment in Baby. The Doctor laughs.) DOCTOR: Quiet, Stormy. Oh, all right. There's more. [Lift] DOCTOR: Just between you, me and Stormy, don't want to frighten me punters. Someone's been using a teleport relay right here in this shop. Missing people last seen in this area. Before you ask, CCTV's been wiped. CRAIG: A teleport? A teleport? A teleport like, a beam me up teleport, like you see in Star Trek? DOCTOR: Exactly. Someone's been using a beam me up Star Trek teleport. Could be disguised as anything. (There are six circles in a circle on the ceiling.) CRAIG: But a teleport in a shop? That's ridiculous. [Cybership] CRAIG: What was that? Was that the lights again? DOCTOR: (strangled) Yes, that's it. That's all. It's the lights. CRAIG: Why did you say that like that? DOCTOR: Like what? CRAIG: Like that, in that high pitched voice. DOCTOR: Just keep looking at me, Craig. Right at me. Just keep looking. CRAIG: Why? DOCTOR: Well, because, because, because I love you. CRAIG: You love me? DOCTOR: Yes, Craig. It's you. It's always been you. CRAIG: Me? DOCTOR: Is that so surprising? (The Doctor puts his arms around Craig's neck and uses the sonic screwdriver on whatever it is behind the definitely-not-a-lift-anymore scene behind him.) CRAIG: Doctor, are you going to kiss me? DOCTOR: Yes, Craig. Yes, I am. Would you like that? Bit out of practice, but I've had some wonderful feedback. CRAIG: Doctor, no. I can't. I'm taken. (Craig looks behind him.) CRAIG: Oh, my God! DOCTOR: Or we could just hold hands if it make you'd feel more comfortable. (A Cyberman notices them.) CRAIG: What is happening? DOCTOR: Well, first of all, I don't really love you, except as a friend. CRAIG: What is that? [Lift] DOCTOR: Quick reverse. CRAIG: What the hell just happened? [Children's clothing] DOCTOR: They must have linked the teleport relay to the lift, but I've fused it. They can't use that again. Stuck up there on their spaceship. [Soft furnishings] CRAIG: What were those things? DOCTOR: Cybermen. CRAIG: Ship. A spaceship. We were in space? [Pedestrian precinct] (After sunset.) DOCTOR: It's got to be up there somewhere. Can't get a fix. It must be shielded. CRAIG: But you fused the teleport. You sorted it. They can't come back. DOCTOR: No, no, no, I've just bought myself a little time. Still got to work out what they're doing before I can stop it. CRAIG: But if they've got the teleport and they're that evil, why haven't they invaded already? DOCTOR: Craig, take Alfie and go. CRAIG: No. DOCTOR: No? CRAIG: No. I remember from last time, people got killed. People that didn't know you. I know where it's safest for me and Alfie, and that's right next to you. DOCTOR: Is that so? CRAIG: Yeah. You always win. You always survive. DOCTOR: Those were the days. CRAIG: I can help you. I'm staying. DOCTOR: Craig. Craig. All right. All right, maybe those days aren't quite over yet. Let's go and investigate. I mean, there's no immediate danger now. [Jewellry section] DOCTOR: Good afternoon, Val. VAL: Hello. CRAIG: Where am I investigating? DOCTOR: Well, look round. Ask questions. People like it when you're with a baby. Babies are sweet. People talk to you. That's why I usually take a human with me. CRAIG: So, I'm your baby? DOCTOR: You're my baby. (The Doctor hugs Craig. Val smiles indulgently.) VAL: Hope you don't mind me saying, Doctor, but I think you look ever so sweet, you and your partner and the baby. DOCTOR: Partner. Yes, I like it. Is it better than companion? VAL: Companion sounds old-fashioned. There's no need to be coy these days. DOCTOR: You've not noticed anything unusual around here lately, Val? VAL: Well DOCTOR: Yes, yes? VAL: Mary Warnock saw Don Petheridge snogging Andrea Groom outside the Conservative Club on his so-called day off golfing. DOCTOR: Yeah. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. (The Doctor air-kisses Val and moves away.) VAL: And then there's that silver rat thing. DOCTOR: What? [Ladies underwear] (The thing that has just scuttled past.) CRAIG: All right, Alfie, you watch Daddy investigate. You look cute, I'll do the talking. (He finds Kelly by a rack of bras.) KELLY: Good afternoon, sir. Can I help you? CRAIG: Hiya. I'm Craig. KELLY: Yeah? CRAIG: Do you mind if I just ask you some questions. KELLY: You what? CRAIG: Just between me and you, in confidence, have you noticed anything unusual? Interesting? KELLY: You what? CRAIG: Talk to me about ladies wear. KELLY: George! (Enter the well built security guard.) CRAIG: Hi, George. Nice uniform. [Toy department] (The Doctor is underneath a table, scanning.) DOCTOR: A silver rat, glowing red eyes. VAL: Yes. Then it zizzed off. I wanted to get one for my nephew, but stockroom say there's no such item. DOCTOR: I bet they do. VAL: Well, what was it then? Answer me that. [Ladies underwear] GEORGE: Can I help you, sir? CRAIG: Have you seen how cute my baby is? Look at his face. I'm going to head off, actually. All right, whoa. [Toy department] CRAIG [OC]: Whoa! VAL: What's all that hullabaloo? DOCTOR: Er, that'll be my partner with the er VAL: Ah. [Ladies underwear] (Craig has knocked over a rack of frillies.) GEORGE: Make a habit of hanging round in women's wear, sir? CRAIG: I'm sorry. Oh, shush. Alfie, come on. KELLY: He's a pervert. Look at him. DOCTOR: Hello, everyone. Here to help. KELLY: Hello, Doctor. GEORGE: Hello, Doctor. DOCTOR: Hello. Has anyone seen a silver rat? No. Okay. Long shot. I see you've met my friend, Craig. Nice uniform, George. GEORGE: Thank you, Doctor. If he's with you, that's all right, then. KELLY: Sorry. I thought he was hassling me, because that's the last thing I need today, because Shona's not turned up, right, so I'm doing twice the work for the same money, if you don't mind. DOCTOR: Shush. CRAIG: Please teach me how to do that. DOCTOR: No. Hold on. Un-shush. Shona? KELLY: My supervisor. She's meant to be in today but never showed up. DOCTOR: Well, where did you last see her? [Changing rooms] CRAIG: How do you do that? It's a power, isn't it. Some sort of weird alien hypnotic power. I bet you excrete some sort of gas that makes people love you. DOCTOR: Would that I could, Craig. (The Doctor looks through a curtain and a woman screams.) DOCTOR: Er, sorry, Madam. I'd try that in red if I were you. CRAIG: I'm right though, aren't I? DOCTOR: Well, you love me, I've never excreted any weird alien gases at you. CRAIG: I don't love you. Don't start that again. (Alfie gurgles.) DOCTOR: Yes, I know. Course he does. Of course you do. We're partners. CRAIG: Yeah, but I did exactly what you would have done, and I nearly got arrested. DOCTOR: Stormy thinks you should believe in yourself more. CRAIG: Great. So now my baby's reviewing me. DOCTOR: Here. Right here. Last night. A Cyberman took Shona. CRAIG: A Cyberman? I thought it was a little silver rat. DOCTOR: It's not a rat. It's a Cybermat. CRAIG: All right. Don't have a go at me just because I don't know the names. [Ladies clothing] DOCTOR: Cybermats are infiltrators. Very small, very deadly. They collect power like bees collect pollen. One of them's been sucking the electrical energy from this area. But why a shop? You know, why not a nuclear power station? CRAIG: Okay, why? DOCTOR: Let's ask it. We wait for the shop to shut. We stake the place out and grab ourselves a Cybermat. CRAIG: And this is just a coincidence, is it? DOCTOR: What is? CRAIG: Aliens in Colchester. Aliens twice in my life, happening to me, just when you turn up. DOCTOR: Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is not my fault, Craig. CRAIG: Oh, shush. Look what you've done now. DOCTOR: It's his nappy. He's mentioned it twice. CRAIG: Well sorry, I don't speak baby, do I. DOCTOR: There's a changing station over by Electrical Goods. CRAIG: And of course, you'd know that. Come on, Alfie. DOCTOR: Craig! It's a coincidence. It happens. It's what the universe does for (The Doctor sees Amy and Rory walking towards him when a little girl stops them.) ELLY: Can I have your autograph, please? AMY: Er, yeah. Sure. DOCTOR: Fun. AMY: What's your name? ELLY: Elly. AMY: To Elly. I like your hairband. ELLY: Thank you. (The Doctor conceals himself.) RORY: All right? AMY: There you go. ELLY: Thank you. (Amy and Rory leave. Elly points towards the Doctor. He turns to see a big perfume advert on the wall nearby with Amy's face on it. Petrichor. For The Girl Who's Tired Of Waiting.) DOCTOR: Amelia Pond. [Ground floor] (The Doctor, Craig, and Alfie hide amongst the perfume and make up counters as George makes his rounds. When it is clear, the Doctor starts scanning with his sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Right, let's be having you then, Cybermat. (Alfie cries.) DOCTOR: Shush. CRAIG: Can't you put that on quiet? DOCTOR: No. It's a sonic screwdriver. Sonic equals sound. Take this. I got it on my discount, ten percent off. It's a papoose. CRAIG: Why do I need a papoose? DOCTOR: Alfie wants you attached to him. You are far too slow when he summons you. CRAIG: When's he going to stop giving me marks? DOCTOR: Never. That's parenthood. Couldn't you have just got a babysitter? No, any babysitter. Doesn't have to be a hot one. CRAIG: I told everyone I know I didn't need their help this weekend. DOCTOR: Well. CRAIG: They won't even answer my calls. I didn't know there was going to be an invasion of Cyberman. DOCTOR: Shush. (Down in the basement, the lights are playing up.) DOCTOR: It's okay. (They get Alfie out of the buggy to go into the papoose when the Cybermat shows itself. The Doctor snares it in a butterfly net.) DOCTOR: Ah ha! That's very odd. It must be on low power. Or I'm better at that than I remember. CRAIG: Oh, is that it? DOCTOR: Yeah. CRAIG: Oh, that's quite cute. Look at that. Look, Alfie, look. (The Cybermat bares its teeth.) CRAIG: Argh! (The Doctor sonicks it into submission. Down in the basement, George hears some noises and goes to investigate. There is a Cyberman behind him.) CRAIG: Metal rat, real mouth! Metal rat, real mouth. DOCTOR: Yes, I know it is. CRAIG: Metal rat, real mouth. DOCTOR: Stop screaming. Stop, stop screaming. Shush. (George screams.) DOCTOR: Come on! [Basement] DOCTOR: George! (He finds the torch, then the man.) DOCTOR: George (The Cyberman knocks him out. A little later...) CRAIG: Doctor! Doctor! Doctor! What happened? DOCTOR: Oh, I've been, I've been chipped, chapped, chopped. The Cyberman. It killed George, took him back to the ship. CRAIG: The Cybermen are here? But you said DOCTOR: Yeah, I know what I said. I say a lot of things. But I fused the teleport. It should have taken them days to repair. CRAIG: Are you okay? DOCTOR: Oh, I should be dead, but the arm it chopped me with, it was damaged. Old spare parts. Must have changed those missing people. CRAIG: They've changed the missing into Cybermen? Why didn't they change you? DOCTOR: A long story. I'm not exactly compatible. But why are they using spare parts? Why? Everything I find out makes less sense. CRAIG: Doctor, listen to me. If the Cybermen are here, then we're not safe. We've got to go. We've got to go back to base. DOCTOR: We've got a base? When did we get a base? [Kitchen] (The Doctor is mixing something up in a bowl.) CRAIG: I'm going down the shop. We've run out of milk. You know what to do if he cries. (Craig throws a mobile phone to the Doctor and leaves.) DOCTOR: No. CRAIG [OC]: Me neither. (Alfie cries.) DOCTOR: Oh. [Alfie's room] DOCTOR: Hello, Stormageddon. It's the Doctor. Here to help. Shush. Hey. There, there. Be quiet. Go to sleep. Really. Stop crying. You've got a lot to look forward to, you know. A normal human life on Earth. Mortgage repayments, the nine to five, a persistent nagging sense of spiritual emptiness. Save the tears for later, boy-o. Oh, no. That was crabby. No, that was old. But I am old, Stormy. I am so old. So near the end. (The Cybermat starts to flicker back into life.) DOCTOR: You, Alfie Owens, you are so young, aren't you? And, you know, right now, everything's ahead of you. You could be anything. Yes, I know. You could walk among the stars. They don't actually look like that, you know. They are rather more impressive. (The Doctor sonicks up a holographic starscape.) DOCTOR: Yeah. You know, when I was little like you, I dreamt of the stars. I think it's fair to say in the language of your age, that I lived my dream, I owned the stage, gave it a hundred and ten percent. I hope you have as much fun as I did, Alfie. (The Cybermat is making its escape.) DOCTOR: Your dad's trying his best, you know. Yes, I know it's not his fault he doesn't have mammary glands. No, neither do I. Alfie, why is there a sinister beeping coming from behind me? (The Cybermat gnashes its teeth at him.) DOCTOR: Oh, no you don't. (The Doctor sonicks it.) DOCTOR: Come on, Alfie. Run! It's only stunned. [Kitchen] DOCTOR: It's going to be okay. Good Alfie. Yes. Don't worry about anything. We're going to go outside. (The Doctor drops his screwdriver as he goes through the patio doors.) DOCTOR: Oops. [Craig's home] CRAIG: I'm back! (He puts his phone down on the hall table. It starts to buzz.) [Garden] (More of a patio, really.) DOCTOR: Come on, Craig, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up. [Craig's home] CRAIG: Doctor? Doctor? (He goes into the kitchen, puts the milk in the fridge and the Cybermat leaps for his throat. Craig grabs it and manages to hold it off.) [Garden] (Craig's phone has gone to answerphone.) DOCTOR: Craig? Don't worry. Alfie is fine. But on no account enter the house. CRAIG [OC]: Doctor! DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! CRAIG [OC]: Help me! (The Doctor puts Alfie in his baby bouncer and crashes through the glass door.) [Kitchen] CRAIG: Where's Alfie? Where's Alfie? DOCTOR: He's safe. He's safe! CRAIG: Get it off me! DOCTOR: I think I can find the right frequency, shut it down again! CRAIG: Kill it! DOCTOR: All right, all right, all right! Move! (The Doctor hits the Cybermat with a large pan. It leaps onto the Doctor.) DOCTOR: Argh! Baking tray, Craig. Baking tray! (Craig gets the tray and they get the Cybermat onto the floor under it.) DOCTOR: Hold it down! CRAIG: Get on with it! DOCTOR: Ah, it must be shielded from metastatic energy. Of course. CRAIG: Of course. DOCTOR: Don't worry, I have an app for that. Stand back. Stand back! (The Doctor zaps the Cybermat.) DOCTOR: Success. That was amazing. You must be really, really strong. That thing should have had you easily. CRAIG: Is it definitely dead? DOCTOR: Inactive, yes. Technically never been alive. It was playing possum before, to take us by surprise. Bravo. CRAIG: Phew. Alfie! [Living room] (Craig is walking up and down with Alfie while the Doctor takes the Cybermat apart.) CRAIG: (yawns) I'm knackered. That thing was eating up the electricity? DOCTOR: And transmitting it up to the Cybership. But why? Why do they need power? Why are those conversions not complete yet, and what are they doing up there? CRAIG: You said you were going to look at its brain. DOCTOR: No, I had to wipe its brain. Now I can reprogram it and use it as a weapon against them. CRAIG: The Cybermat came after us? DOCTOR: No, after me. CRAIG: They sent it after us. DOCTOR: After me. Because of me, you and Alfie nearly died. Do you still feel safe with me, Craig? CRAIG: You can't help who your mates are. DOCTOR: No. I am a stupid, selfish man. Always have been. I should have made you go. I should never have come here. CRAIG: What would have happened if you hadn't come? Who else knows about the Cybermen and teleports? DOCTOR: I put people in danger. CRAIG: Stop beating yourself up. If it weren't for you, this whole planet would be an absolute ruin. DOCTOR: Craig, very soon I won't be here. My time is running out. I don't mean Exedor. Silence will fall when the question is asked. Don't even know what the question is. I always knew I'd die still asking. Thing is, Craig, it's tomorrow. Can't put it off any more. Tomorrow is the day I (Craig and Alfie are asleep on the sofa.) DOCTOR: Ah. [Outside Craig's home] (Next morning.) DOCTOR: Safe mode. Clever me. Come along, Bitey. [Living room] (Craig wakes to hear Sophie's voice leaving a message.) SOPHIE [OC]: So I'll be back about ten, because Melina's totally gone off on one. She's going to kill David Jenkins. I know I'm stupid to worry. I can't wait to get home to my special boys! CRAIG: Oh, no, no, no, no. [Kitchen] CRAIG: Doctor? SOPHIE [OC]: Love you, Alfie. Love you, Craig. (There is a message on the fridge door. Dear Craig. Gone to stop Cybermen. Sorry, goodbye. The Doctor.) CRAIG: You idiot! [Ladies clothing] VAL: Morning! DOCTOR: Morning. Teleport's still fused. They didn't repair it. So, the Cyberman last night. How did it get down here, how did it get out? And why, why, am I asking you? VAL: You found the silver rat? DOCTOR: But where are the silver men? [Kitchen] (Craig is putting Alfie into the papoose.) CRAIG: I'm sorry, Alfie, I can't leave you here on your own. There's something up with the Doctor, and we owe him. I wouldn't have you or Mummy if it wasn't for him. He needs someone. He always needs someone. He just can't admit it. I promise nothing's going to happen to you. All right, come on, here we go. [Changing rooms] DOCTOR: Secondary teleport. No, there is no other teleport. They must have had a back-up system. Something complicated, something powerful, something shielded. Something like a door? A door! A disillium bonded steel door disguised as a wall. (At the back of the cubicle.) DOCTOR: That is cheating. So, it didn't teleport down, it climbed up. [Cybership] (The tunnel is nice and circular, with the occasional tree root poking through. At the bottom is a big cavern with the Cybership in it. The inside is the exact opposite of the normal Cyber clean and shiny.) DOCTOR: Well, well, well. You have been busy. [Ladies clothing] CRAIG: Doctor? Doctor? VAL: Another row? He went in the changing rooms. Something about silver men. CRAIG: Oh, God, no. Val, I need you to look after Alfie for me, okay? Please look after him. The Doctor needs me. VAL: I understand. You two need time alone. (Craig hands the papoose over and runs off.) CRAIG: And don't follow me! VAL: I wasn't intending to. [Cybership] (The Doctor finds George's name tag amongst the dirt on the floor.) CYBERMAN: You have come to us. DOCTOR: Took me a while. Lot on my mind. Let's see. This ship crashed here centuries ago. No survivors, but the systems are dormant, waiting for power, and then the council stick a load of new cables right on top of you. Bitey wakes up and channels the power. You start crewing up from the shop as best you can. Not enough power, not enough parts. CYBERMAN: When we are ready, we will emerge. We will convert this planet to Cyberform. DOCTOR: What, the six of you? CYBERMAN: You know that is enough. You know us. You are the Doctor. DOCTOR: Correct. And the Doctor always gives you a choice. Deactivate yourself, or I deactivate you. (A second Cyberman approaches from behind.) [Changing rooms] CRAIG: Doctor? Doctor? (He finds the hole in the wall, grabs a laser barcode reader and heads inside.) [Cybership] (The Doctor has been seized.) DOCTOR: Argh! CYBERMAN: He must be the new leader. CYBERMAN 2: No. He is not like us. Brain and binary vascular system incompatible. They will be discarded. Other body parts may be of use. CRAIG: Oi, Cybermen! Get off my planet, or I activate this. DOCTOR: Craig, stop this. Get out! CRAIG: It's like you said, Doctor. Got to believe you can do it. CYBERMAN: You located us? CRAIG: Yeah. Teleport in the lift, bit rubbish. And that little Cybermat never stood a chance. So you see what you're dealing with? CYBERMAN: You are compatible. You are intelligent. (The Cyberman zaps the barcode reader from Craig's hands and a third one grabs him.) CRAIG: Argh! No, I'm not intelligent. You don't want me. CYBERMAN: Do not fear. We will take your fear from you. You will be like us. You will be more than us. CRAIG: No, no, no. CYBERMAN: Your designation is CyberController. You will lead us. We will conquer this world. CRAIG: Doctor! DOCTOR: Craig! CRAIG: Do something, please! (Craig is clamped into a conversion chamber.) CRAIG: Doctor. DOCTOR: Craig, don't worry. I've reprogrammed their Cybermat. It'll drain their power. (The Cyberman stomps on the Cybermat.) CYBERMAN: You have failed, Doctor. Begin conversion. Phase one. Cleanse the brain of emotions. DOCTOR: No. Craig, fight it! They can't convert you if you fight back. You're strong. Don't give in to it. CRAIG: Help me! DOCTOR: Think of Sophie. Think of Alfie. Craig, don't let them take it all away. CRAIG: Make it stop. Please, make it stop! DOCTOR: Please, listen to me. I believe in you. I believe you can do this. I've always believed in all of you, all my life. I'm going die, Craig. Tomorrow, I'm going to die, but I don't mind if you just prove me right. Craig! (A Cyberman helmet closes over Craig's face.) CYBERMAN: Begin full conversion. [Ladies clothing] (Alfie is crying.) VAL: Don't worry, It's just a little light going out. [Cybership] (They are on the monitor.) CYBERMAN 2: Unknown soundwave detected. CYBERMAN: It is the sound of fear. It is irrelevant. We will remove all fear. DOCTOR: Alfie, I'm so sorry! Alfie, please, stop. I, I can't help him. CYBERMAN: Emotions eradicated. Conversion complete. Alert. Emotional subsystems rebooting. This is impossible. DOCTOR: He can hear him. He can hear Alfie. Oh, please, just give me this. Craig, you wanted a chance to prove you're a dad. You are never going to get better one than this. CYBERMAN: What is happening? DOCTOR: What's happening, you metal moron? A baby is crying. And you'd better watch out, because guess what? Ha ha! Daddy's coming home! (The Cyberman helmet opens again, and Craig starts to break out of the conversion chamber.) CRAIG: Alfie! Alfie, I'm here! I'm coming for you! DOCTOR: Yes, Craig. CRAIG: Alfie! (The Doctor gets free of the confused Cyberman and grabs his sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Alfie needs you! CYBERMAN: Emergency. Emotional influx! DOCTOR: You've triggered a feedback loop into their emotional inhibitors. All that stuff they cut out of themselves, now they're feeling it. Which means a very big explosion. CYBERMAN: Overload. Overload. Overload. CRAIG: Get it open! We need to get to Alfie! DOCTOR: They've sealed the ship! CRAIG: We've got to get out of here! DOCTOR: I know! (The Cybermen's heads start exploding.) DOCTOR: The teleport! (The Doctor sonicks the controls and they beam away just before the whole Cybership goes KaBOOM.) [Ladies clothing] VAL: How did you get in there? CRAIG: Alfie! VAL: Here's your daddy. (Val hands Alfie over. He gurgles.) DOCTOR: That was another review. Ten out of ten. CRAIG: The Cybermen. They blew up. I blew them up with love. DOCTOR: No, that's impossible. And also grossly sentimental and over simplistic. You destroyed them because of the deeply ingrained hereditary human trait to protect one's own genes, which in turn triggered a, a, a. Yeah. Love. You blew them up with love. [Ladies underwear] DOCTOR: The building should be totally safe structurally, and of course the bonded disillium contained the explosion. KELLY: Right. Why you telling me all this? DOCTOR: I don't know. Shush. VAL: It suits you. (Craig has a new shirt.) CRAIG: Thanks. VAL: Discount applies to partners. CRAIG: Great. VAL: Are you two married then? CRAIG: No, no. We talked about it, but it's just a piece of paper, isn't it? DOCTOR: Thank you for your help, Val. Good noticing. Keep them peeled. VAL: I will. I'm glad you two made up for baby's sake. DOCTOR: Ah. CRAIG: How do you mean? VAL: It's nice for baby to have two daddies who love each other. CRAIG: Wait. Hang on a sec. Two daddies? You think I'm? VAL: His companion. CRAIG: Ha ha ha! Doctor? VAL: Oh. Now where's he rushed off to? CRAIG: He's gone. [Living room] CRAIG: Who's tidied all this up? [Kitchen] DOCTOR: See, I do come back. CRAIG: How did you? DOCTOR: Time machine. But even with time travel, getting glaziers on a Sunday. Tricky. CRAIG: You went back in time? That means you used up your hours. What about Exedor? DOCTOR: What about you being in trouble with Sophie when she comes back? I couldn't let that happen. CRAIG: You used up your time for me? "DOCTOR; Course I did. You're my mate. I notice Stormageddon's very quiet and happy. Oh, he prefers the name Alfie now. And he's very proud of his dad." CRAIG: He calls me dad? DOCTOR: Yes, of course he does now. Yeah, I know. He's a bit thick, isn't he? CRAIG: Oi, shut up, you two. DOCTOR: Well, now it's time. I have to go. CRAIG: Doctor, I know that something's wrong. I can help you. DOCTOR: Nobody can help me. I hope Sophie won't mind. I need these. (Tardis-blue envelopes.) CRAIG: Where are you going to go? DOCTOR: America. CRAIG: Sophie'll be home any second. Are you sure DOCTOR: I can't miss this appointment, Craig. Goodbye, mate. CRAIG: Wait there. One second. (Craig returns with a stetson.) CRAIG: From Sean's stag. DOCTOR: Wow. CRAIG: You ride 'em, pardner. DOCTOR: Oh, thanks. CRAIG: Bye. (Knock on the door.) CRAIG: Doctor, that will be Sophie arriv (The Doctor has gone out the back. Craig answers the door.) [Front door] SOPHIE: Hello, hello, I forgot my keys. CRAIG: Oh, I've missed you so much. SOPHIE: I missed you, too. Both of you. Are you wearing a papoose? CRAIG: Yes. [Living room] SOPHIE: Oh, my God, the place is spotless. Has anything happened? You look different. CRAIG: Nothing happened. Nothing weird. SOPHIE: Look at you two, thick as thieves. Who's Daddy's little boy then? ALFIE: Doctor. SOPHIE: What? Craig? [Outside the Tardis] DOCTOR: Well then, old girl. One last trip, eh? (Some children nearby stop playing to stare at the weirdo talking to a police box.) DOCTOR: Hey. I'm the Doctor. I was here to help. And you are very, very welcome. BLONDE GIRL [OC]: It was funny. He seemed so happy, but so sad at the same time. DARK BOY [OC]: I was just a kid. I thought maybe he was a cowboy on his way to a gunfight. GIRL IN SCARF [OC]: I really liked his hat. [Study] (River puts the eye witness reports back into their folder and checks her diary. 22/04/11 5:02pm Lake Silencio.) KOVARIAN [OC]: Tick tock, goes the clock, and what now shall we play? Tick tock, goes the clock, now summer's gone away. RIVER: Hello? KOVARIAN: Such a lovely old song. But is it about him? RIVER: You know about the Doctor? KOVARIAN: So very well. Oh, don't try and remember me. We've been far too thorough with your dear little head. (Two Silence creep up behind River.) RIVER: Oh! What are they? What are those things? KOVARIAN: Your owners. RIVER: My what? KOVARIAN: So, they made you a Doctor today, did they? Doctor River Song. How clever you are. You understand what this is, don't you? RIVER: According to some accounts, it's the day the Doctor dies. KOVARIAN: By Silencio Lake, on the Plain of Sighs, an Impossible Astronaut will rise from the deep and strike the Time Lord dead. RIVER: It's a story. KOVARIAN: And this is where it begins. (Two soldiers enter with a NASA spacesuit.) KOVARIAN: You never really escaped us, Melody Pond. We were always coming for you. RIVER: How do you know who I am? KOVARIAN: I made you what you are. The woman who kills the Doctor. RIVER: No! No! No! (River is injected with a sedative.) KOVARIAN: Tick tock, goes the clock, and all the years they fly. Tick tock, and all too soon, your love will surely die. (River wakes up in the spacesuit, under water.) CHILDREN [OC]: Tick tock goes the clock, the cradle now be rocked. Tick tock, goes the clock till River kills the Doctor. [Online Prequel - Area 52] (Time is stuck between 05:02:57 and 05:02:59 on the various Area 52 surveillance cameras.) CHILDREN SINGING: Tick tock goes the clock. Tick tock goes the clock. Tick tock goes the clock. (Two soldiers with eyepatches are checking the area.) SOLDIER: Secure. SOLDIER 2: Secure. (A Silent looks at us in its tube of liquid.) CHILDREN SINGING: Doctor, brave and good, he turned away from violence, when he understood the falling of the Silence. (River Song, also with an eyepatch, turns from looking at an Egyptian sarcophagus and smiles at us.) [London 5:02pm 22nd April, 2011] (Not the London we know though, with steam trains running on aerial tracks through the Zurich Re building, cars carried by balloons...) NEWSMAN [OC]: And it's another beautiful day in London. There are reports of sunspot activity and solar flares causing interference across all radio signals so apologies for that. Pterodactyls fly over children playing in Hyde Park.) GIRL: Guys, look! (The pterodactyls swoop and the children run to the trees, past the sign 'Pterodactyls are vermin. Do not feed.' A Roman centurion in a chariot waits at the traffic lights and the headline on the Londinium Cotide is - War of the Roses enters second year. On a TV in a shop window is a breakfast television programme -) BILL TURNBULL [on TV]: So do you think you can top last year's Christmas Special? SIAN WILLIAMS [on TV]: And can you tell us anything about it? DICKENS [on TV]: Well, all I can say now is that it involves ghosts, and the past, the present and future, all at the same time. SIAN WILLIAMS [on TV]: Ooo, we love a ghost story. NEWS ANCHOR [on TV]: Crowds lined the Mall today as Holy Roman Emperor, Winston Churchill, returned to the Buckingham Senate on his personal mammoth. [Churchill's office] (Winston Churchill is having his blood pressure checked by his Silurian male nurse.) MALOHKEH: Not too many late nights in Gaul, I hope. CHURCHILL: Just the one. I had an argument with Cleopatra. Dreadful woman. Excellent dancer. MALOHKEH: I can tell from your blood pressure. CHURCHILL: What time do you have, doctor? MALOHKEH: Two minutes past five, Caesar. CHURCHILL: It's always two minutes past five. Day or night, it's always two minutes past five in the afternoon. Why is that? MALOHKEH: Because that is the time, Caesar. CHURCHILL: And the date. It's always the twenty second of April. Does it not bother you? MALOHKEH: The date and the time have always been the same, Caesar. Why should it start bothering me now? CHURCHILL: I want to see the Soothsayer. Where is he? MALOHKEH: In the Tower, where you threw him the last time. CHURCHILL: Get him. (A bedraggled figure in toga and shackles is brought it.) CHURCHILL: Leave us. Tick tock goes the clock, as the old song says. But they don't, do they? The clocks never tick. Something has happened to time. That's what you say. What you never stop saying. All of history is happening at once. But what does that mean? What happened? Explain to me in terms that I can understand what happened to time. DOCTOR: A woman. [Disabled spaceship] (Earlier -) DOCTOR: Imagine you were dying. Imagine you were afraid and a long way from home and in terrible pain. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse, you looked up and saw the face of the devil himself. Hello, Dalek. DALEK: Emergency. Emergency. Weapon system disabled. Emergency. (The Doctor opens up the top of the Dalek.) DOCTOR: Hush, now. I need some information from your data core. Everything the Daleks know about the Silence. [The Docks of Calisto B] (A cloaked figure walks through destruction towards the figure in the stetson, who then steps into a seedy space bar.) DOCTOR: Gideon Vandaleur. Get him. Now. BARMAN: Who says he's here? (The Doctor drops the Dalek's eyestalk onto the counter. A short while later, the Doctor is at a table reading Knitting for Girls when the cloaked figure sits down with him.) DOCTOR: Father Gideon Vandaleur, former envoy of the Silence. My condolences. VANDALEUR: Your what? DOCTOR: Gideon Vandaleur has been dead for six months. (The Doctor sonicks the figure, which is wearing the same style eyepatch as Madam Kovarian, and it goes rigid.) DOCTOR: Can I speak to the Captain, please? (The small figure in the eye nods and runs.) [Teselecta] DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: Hello again, the Teselecta time-travelling shape-changing robot powered by miniaturised people. Never get bored of that. Long time since Berlin. CARTER: Doctor, what have you done to our systems? DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: They'll be fine if you behave. Now, this unit can disguise itself as anyone in the universe, so if you're posing as Vandaleur, you're investigating the Silence. Tell me about them. CARTER: Tell you what? DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: One thing. Just one. Their weakest link. [Calisto B space bar] (A game of chess is in progress, and a Queen is sizzling with voltage. The Doctor's opponent is an alien in an eyepatch.) DOCTOR: The crowd are getting restless. They know the Queen is your only legal move, except you've already moved it twelve times, which means there are now over four million volts running through it. That's why they call it Live Chess. Even with the gauntlet you'll never make it to Bishop Four alive. GANTOK: I am a dead man, unless you concede the game. DOCTOR: But I'm winning. GANTOK: Name your price. DOCTOR: Information. GANTOK: I work for the Silence. They would kill me. DOCTOR: They're going to kill me too, very soon. I was just going to lie down and take it, but you know what? Before I go, I'd like to know why I have to die. GANTOK: Dorium Maldovar is the only one who can help you. DOCTOR: Dorium's dead. The Monks beheaded him at Demon's Run. GANTOK: I know. Concede the game, Doctor, and I'll take you to him. [Charnel house] (Lots of skulls, some on shelves, some on the floor.) GANTOK: The Seventh Transept, where the Headless Monks keep the leftovers. Watch your step. There are traps everywhere. DOCTOR: I hate rats. GANTOK: There are no rats in the transept. DOCTOR: Oh, good. GANTOK: The skulls eat them. (The skulls on shelves turn to look at the visitors.) GANTOK: The headless monks behead you alive, remember. DOCTOR: Why are some of them in boxes? (Nice boxes on pillars.) GANTOK: Because some people are rich, and some people are left to rot. And Dorium Maldovar was always very rich. (The Doctor opens Dorium's box. The blue head sneezes.) DOCTOR: Thank you for bringing me, Gantok. GANTOK: My pleasure. It saves me the trouble of burying you. Nobody beats me at chess. (Gantok draws his weapon and moves forward, triggering a trap. He falls down into a pit of ravening skulls.) DOCTOR: Gantok! (Gantok gets eaten, then the skulls turn their attention upwards. The Doctor sonics the pit closed again. Dorium opens his eyes.) DORIUM: Hello? Is someone there? Ah, Doctor. Thank God it's you. The Monks, they turned on me. DOCTOR: Well, I'm afraid they rather did, a bit. DORIUM: Give it to me straight, Doctor. How bad are my injuries? DOCTOR: Well DORIUM: Ha, ha! Oh, your face. [Churchill's office] CHURCHILL: This is absurd. Other worlds, carnivorous skulls, talking heads. I don't know why I'm listening to you. DOCTOR: Because, in another reality, you and I are friends. And you sense that. Just as you sense there is something wrong with time. CHURCHILL: You mentioned a woman. DOCTOR: Yes. I'm getting to her. CHURCHILL: What's she like? Attractive, I assume. DOCTOR: Hell, in high heels. CHURCHILL: Tell me more. [Charnel house] DORIUM: Oh, it's not so bad, really, as long as they get your box the right way up. I got a media-chip fitted in my head years ago, and the Wi-Fi down here is excellent, so I keep myself entertained. DOCTOR: I need to know about the Silence. DORIUM: Oh. A religious order of great power and discretion. The sentinels of history, as they like to call themselves. DOCTOR: And they want me dead. DORIUM: No, not really. They just don't want you to remain alive. DOCTOR: That's okay, then. I was a bit worried for a minute there. DORIUM: You're a man with a long and dangerous past, but your future is infinitely more terrifying. The Silence believe it must be averted. DOCTOR: You know, you could've told me all this the last time we met. DORIUM: It was a busy day and I got beheaded. DOCTOR: What's so dangerous about my future? DORIUM: On the Fields of Trenzalore, at the fall of the Eleventh, when no living creature can speak falsely, or fail to answer, a question will be asked. A question that must never, ever be answered. DOCTOR: Silence will fall when the question is asked. DORIUM: Silence must fall would be a better translation. The Silence are determined the question will never be answered. That the Doctor will never reach Trenzalore. DOCTOR: I don't understand. What's it got to do with me? DORIUM: The first question. The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight. Would you like to know what it is? DOCTOR: Yes. DORIUM: Are you sure? Very, very sure? DOCTOR: Of course. DORIUM: Then I shall tell you. But on your own head be it. [Tardis] DORIUM [in box]: It's not my fault. Put me back. Ow! I've fallen on my nose. Have you got wi-fi here? I'm bored already and my nose is hurting. We all have to die, Doctor, but you more than most. You do see that, don't you? You know what the question is now. You do see that you have to die. [Senate room] CHURCHILL: But what was the question? Why did it mean your death? DOCTOR: Suppose there was a man who knew a secret. A terrible, dangerous secret that must never be told. How would you erase that secret from the world? Destroy it forever, before it can be spoken. CHURCHILL: If I had to, I'd destroy the man. DOCTOR: And silence would fall. All the times I've heard those words, I never realised it was my silence, my death. The Doctor will fall. Why are we here? CHURCHILL: This, this is the Senate Room. DOCTOR: Why did we leave your office? CHURCHILL: Well, we wanted a stroll, didn't we? DOCTOR: I think I've been running. Why do you have your revolver? CHURCHILL: Well, you're dangerous company, Soothsayer. (There is a single tally mark on the Doctor's arm.) DOCTOR: Yes. I think I am. CHURCHILL: Resume your story. [Tardis] DORIUM [in box]: Doctor, please, open my hatch. I've got an awful headache. Which to be honest means more than it used to. It's like some terrible weight pressing down on my (The Doctor has put Dorium's box down upside down.) DORIUM: Oh. I see. DOCTOR: Why Lake Silencio? Why Utah? DORIUM: It's a still point in time. Makes it easier to create a fixed point. And your death is a fixed point, Doctor. You can't run away from this. DOCTOR: Been running all my life. Why should I stop? DORIUM: Because now you know what's at stake. Why your life must end. DOCTOR: Not today. DORIUM: What's the point in delaying? How long have you delayed already? (The Doctor makes a telephone call.) DOCTOR: Been knocking about. A bit of a farewell tour. Things to do, people to see. There's always more. I could invent a new colour, save the Dodo, join the Beatles. Hello, it's me. Get him. Tell him, we're going out and it's all on me, except for the money and driving. I have got a time machine, Dorium. It's all still going on. For me, it never stops. Liz the First is still waiting in a glade to elope with me. I could help Rose Tyler with her homework. I could go on all of Jack's stag parties in one night. DORIUM: Time catches up with us all, Doctor. DOCTOR: Well, it has never laid a glove on me! Hello? [Nursing home] NURSE: Doctor, I'm so sorry. We didn't know how to contact you. I'm afraid Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart passed away [Tardis] NURSE [OC]: a few months ago. Doctor? DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, I NURSE [OC]: It was very peaceful. He talked a lot about you, if that's any comfort. Always made us pour an extra brandy in case you came round one of these days. DORIUM: Doctor? What's wrong? DOCTOR: Nothing. Nothing. It's just. (He puts the phone down and takes the Tardis blue envelopes from his pocket.) DOCTOR: It's time. It's time. [Calisto B space bar] VANDALEUR: Surely you could deliver the messages yourself? DOCTOR: It would involve crossing my own time stream. Best not. [Teselecta] CARTER: According to our files, this is the end for you. Your final journey. We'll deliver your messages. You can depend on us. DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: Thank you. [Calisto B space bar] VANDALEUR: Doctor, whatever you think of the Teselecta, we are champions of law and order just as you have always been. Is there nothing else we can do? [Senate room] CHURCHILL: Why would you do this? (The postman delivers the invitation to Rory and Amy. River gets hers, too.) CHURCHILL: Of all the things you've told me, this I find hardest to believe. Why would you invite your friends to see your death? DOCTOR: I had to die. I didn't have to die alone. [Road] AMY: Doctor! DOCTOR [OC]: Amy and Rory. The last Centurion and the girl who waited. However dark it got, I'd turn around, and there they'd be. [Senate room] DOCTOR: If it's time to go, remember what you're leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me. CHURCHILL: And did you tell them this was going to happen? DOCTOR: It would help if you didn't keep asking questions. (There are three tally marks on his arm now.) DOCTOR: (sotto) We don't have much time. [Road] (River shoots off his stetson.) CHURCHILL [OC]: And this woman you spoke of. Did you invite her? RIVER: Hello, sweetie. DOCTOR [OC]: Yes, she was there. River Song came twice. [Lakeside] (The picnic.) DOCTOR: Napoleon gave me this bottle. Well, I say gave. Threw. Salud! ALL: Salud! RORY: So, when are we going to 1969? DOCTOR [OC]: Everything was in place. I only had to do one more thing. I only had to die. (The Doctor waves at Delaware by his pickup, and River sees the Impossible Astronaut.) RIVER: Oh, my God. DOCTOR: You all need to stay back. Whatever happens now, you do not interfere. RORY: That's an astronaut. That's an Apollo astronaut in the lake. (The Doctor goes to the astronaut, who is now the adult River, not the child Melody as before.) DOCTOR: Well, then. Here we are at last. RIVER: I can't stop it. The suit's in control. DOCTOR: You're not supposed to. This has to happen. RIVER: Run. DOCTOR: I did run. Running brought me here. RIVER: I'm trying to fight it, but I can't. It's too strong. DOCTOR: I know. It's okay. This is where I die. This is a fixed point. This must happen. This always happens. Don't worry. You won't even remember this. Look over there. RIVER: That's me. How can I be there? DOCTOR: That's you from the future, serving time for a murder you probably can't remember. My murder. RIVER: Why would you do that? Make me watch? DOCTOR: So that you know this is inevitable. And you are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven. RIVER: Please, my love, please, please just run! DOCTOR: I can't. RIVER: Time can be rewritten. DOCTOR: Don't you dare. Goodbye, River. (The Doctor winks, then shuts his eyes. The astronaut suit zaps him multiple times but he doesn't die this time.) RIVER: Hello, Sweetie. DOCTOR: What have you done? RIVER: Well, I think I just drained my weapon systems. DOCTOR: But this is fixed. This is a fixed point in time. RIVER: Fixed points can be rewritten. DOCTOR: No, they can't. Of course they can't. Who told you that (Everything dissolves into white.) [Senate room] CHURCHILL: Well? What happened? DOCTOR: Nothing. CHURCHILL: Nothing? DOCTOR: Nothing happened. And then it kept happening. Or, if you'd prefer, everything happened at once, and it won't ever stop. Time is dying. It's going to be five oh two in the afternoon for all eternity. A needle stuck on a record. CHURCHILL: A record? Good Lord, man, have you never heard of downloads? DOCTOR: Said Winston Churchill. CHURCHILL: Gunsmoke. That's gunsmoke. Oh, I appear to have fired this. (The Doctor has a spear.) DOCTOR: We seem to be defending ourselves. CHURCHILL: I don't understand. DOCTOR: The creatures that lead the Silence. Remarkable beings. They're memory-proof. CHURCHILL: But what does that mean? DOCTOR: You can't remember them. The moment you look away, you forget they were ever there. (Four tally marks on his arm.) DOCTOR: Don't panic. In small numbers, they're not too difficult. (But his other arm is covered in marks. They are hanging from the ceiling in a big cluster. A grenade rolls in. The Doctor knocks Churchill down. Boom, and soldiers enter.) SOLDIER: Go! Go! Go! Keep the Silence in sight at all times, keep your eye drives active. CHURCHILL: Who the devil are you? Identify yourselves. AMY: Pond. Amelia Pond. DOCTOR: No! She's on our side. It's okay. (Amy is wearing an eyepatch.) DOCTOR: No. No, Amy. Amy, why are you wearing that? (Amy shoots the Doctor.) [Railway carriage] (The Doctor wakes on a couch, looking up at a ceiling fan. There is the sound of a train whistle.) NEWSMAN [OC]: The Government has again apologised for extensive radio interference caused by solar flare and sun spot activity. DOCTOR: Amy? AMY: Those stun guns aren't fun. I'm sorry. I wanted to avoid a long conversation. You need to get up, though. We'll be in Cairo shortly. DOCTOR: Amy Pond. Amelia Pond from Leadworth, please, listen to me. I know it seems impossible, but you know me. In another version of reality you and I were best friends. We, we travelled together. We had adventures. Amelia Pond, you grew up with a time rift in the wall of your bedroom. You can see what others can't. You can remember things that never happened. And if you try, if you really, really try, you'll be able to (He is gesturing with a model Tardis.) DOCTOR: Oh. (And on the far wall are her sketches - Dalek, Silurian, vampire, pirate, Weeping Angel.) DOCTOR: Oh. AMY: You look rubbish. DOCTOR: You look wonderful. AMY: So do you. But don't worry, we'll soon fix that. (She holds up a tweed jacket.) DOCTOR: Oh, Geronimo. (A little later, shaved and dressed.) DOCTOR: Okay, you can turn round now. How do I look? AMY: Cool. DOCTOR: Really? AMY: No. DOCTOR: Cool office though. Why do you have an office?! Are you a special agent boss lady? What's that mean? Not sure about the eye patch, though. AMY: It's not an eye patch. Time's gone wrong. Some of us noticed. There's a whole team of us working on it, you'll see. DOCTOR: And you've got an office on a train. That is so cool. Can I have an office? Never had an office before. Or a train. Or a train slash office. AMY: God, I've missed you! DOCTOR: Okay. Hugging and missing now. Where's the Roman? AMY: You mean Rory. DOCTOR: Mmm. AMY: My husband Rory, yeah? (She gets a drawing from her desk.) AMY: That's him, isn't it? I've no idea. I can't find him, but I love him very much, don't I? DOCTOR: Apparently. AMY: I have to keep doing this, writing and drawing things. It's just it's so hard to keep remembering. DOCTOR: Well, it's not your fault. Time's gone wrong. Do you remember why? AMY: The lakeside. DOCTOR: Lake Silencio, Utah. I died. AMY: But then you didn't. See, I remember it twice, different ways. DOCTOR: Two different versions of the same event, both happening in the same moment. Time split wide open. Now look at it. All of history happening at once. AMY: But does it matter? I mean, can't we just stay like this? DOCTOR: Time isn't just frozen, it's disintegrating. It will spread and spread and all of reality will simply fall apart. (A soldier enters. Guess who.) RORY: Ma'am? We're about to arrive. Eye drives need to be activated as soon as we disembark. AMY: Good point. Thank you, Captain Williams. DOCTOR: Hello. RORY: Hello, sir. Pleased to meet you. AMY: Captain Williams, best of the best. Couldn't live without him. (The Doctor compares him to his sketch, and laughs. Rory leaves.) DOCTOR: No. AMY: What is wrong? DOCTOR: Amy, you'll find your Rory. You always do. But you have to really look. AMY: I am looking. DOCTOR: Oh, my Amelia Pond. You don't always look hard enough. AMY: Why are you older? If time isn't really passing, then how can you be ageing? DOCTOR: Time is still passing for me. Every explosion has an epicentre. I'm it. I'm what's wrong. AMY: What's wrong with you? DOCTOR: I'm still alive. (The train crosses a viaduct into a pyramid with a Stars and Stripes on the side and the title Area 52. [Storage area] RORY: You have to put it on, sir. DOCTOR: An eye patch. What for? AMY: It's not an eye patch. RORY: It's an eye drive, sir. It communicates directly with the memory centres of the brain. Acts as external storage. AMY: Only thing that works on them. Because no living mind can remember these things. RORY: The Silence. (Held in individual tanks filled with liquid.) RORY: We've captured over a hundred of them now, all held in this pyramid. DOCTOR: Yeah. I've encountered them before. Always wondered what they looked like. AMY: Well, put your eye drive on and you'll retain the information, but only for as long as you're wearing it. DOCTOR: The Silence have human servants. They all wear these. AMY: They'd have to. RORY: This way. (The Doctor puts the eye drive on.) RORY: They seem to be noticing you. DOCTOR: Yeah, they would. AMY: So why aren't the human race killing the Silence on sight any more? DOCTOR: That was another reality. What are the tanks for? RORY: They can draw electricity from anything. It's how they attack. The fluid insulates them. And I really don't like the way they're looking at you. DOCTOR: Me neither. RORY: Ma'am, I'm sure it's nothing, but I should really check this out. They haven't been this active in a while. You two, upstairs. Check all the tank seals. Then the floors above. Get everyone checking. SOLDIER: Sir. RORY: You go ahead, Ma'am. AMY: Thank you, Captain Williams. Doctor, this way. DOCTOR: Captain Williams, nice fellow. What's his first name? AMY: Captain. Just through here. DOCTOR: Just give us a moment. Just need to check something, Ma'am. (The Doctor goes back to Rory. Amy speaks into a hidden microphone on her lapel.) AMY: We're in. He's on his way. DOCTOR: The loyal soldier, waiting to be noticed. Always the pattern. Why is that? RORY: Sorry, sir? DOCTOR: Your boss, you should just ask her out. She likes you. She said so. RORY: Really, sir. What did she say? DOCTOR: Oh, she just sort of generally indicated. RORY: What exactly what did she say? DOCTOR: She said that you were a Mister Hottie-ness, and that she would like to go out with you for texting and scones. RORY: You really haven't done this before, have you? DOCTOR: No, I haven't. RORY: See you in a moment, sir. DOCTOR: Yes. Yes. AMY: Come on, Doctor. Time for you to meet some old friends. RORY: Attention all personnel. [Control room] RORY [OC]: Attention all personnel. Please check all assigned containment units. (A lady in a white coat is watching a screen.) KENT: You were right. Just his presence in the building caused the loop to extend by nearly four chronons. (The clock now reads 05:02:57, 58, 59.) DOCTOR: Hi, honey. I'm home. RIVER: And what sort of time do you call this? KOVARIAN: The death of time. The end of time. The end of us all. Oh, why couldn't you just die? (She is tied to a chair.) DOCTOR: Did my best, dear. I showed up. You just can't get the psychopaths these days. Love what you've done with the pyramids. How did you swing all this? RIVER: Hallucinogenic lipstick. Works wonders on President Kennedy. And Cleopatra was a real pushover. DOCTOR: I always thought so. RIVER: She mentioned you. DOCTOR: What did she say? RIVER: Put down that gun down. DOCTOR: Did you? RIVER: Eventually. KOVARIAN: Oh, they're flirting. Do I have to watch this? RIVER: It was such a basic mistake, wasn't it, Madame Kovarian. Take a child, raise her into a perfect psychopath, introduce her to the Doctor. Who else was I going to fall in love with? DOCTOR: It's not funny, River. Reality is fatally compromised. Tell me you understand that. RIVER: Dinner? DOCTOR: I don't have the time. Nobody has the time, because as long I'm alive, time is dying. Because of you, River. RIVER: Because I refused to kill the man I love. DOCTOR: Oh, you love me, do you? Oh, that's sweet of you. Isn't that sweet. Come here, you. AMY: Get him! (Soldiers grab the Doctor.) RIVER: I'm not a fool, sweetie. I know what happens if we touch. (The Doctor grabs River's arm.) RIVER: Get off me. Get him off me! Doctor, no. Let go! Please Doctor, let go! WOMAN: It's moving. Time's moving! (05:03 and counting.) RIVER: Get him off me! Doctor! DOCTOR: I'm sorry, River. It's the only way. (They flash back to the lakeside, then the soldiers pull him off.) RIVER: Cuff him. DOCTOR: Oh, why do you always have handcuffs? It's the only way. We're the opposite poles of the disruption. If we touch, we short out the differential. Time can begin again. RIVER: And I'll be by a lakeside killing you. DOCTOR: And time won't fall apart. The clocks will tick. Reality will continue. There isn't another way. RIVER: I didn't say there was, sweetie. (In the storage area, a Silence puts its hand onto the glass of its tank, and it begins to crack. Captain Williams notices liquid dripping through to a lower level.) RIVER: There are so many theories about you and I, you know. DOCTOR: Idle gossip. RIVER: Archaeology. DOCTOR: Same thing. RIVER: Am I the woman who marries you, or the woman who murders you? DOCTOR: I don't want to marry you. RIVER: I don't want to murder you. (Amy feels a drop on her head.) DOCTOR: This is no fun at all. RIVER: It isn't, is it? AMY: Doctor, what's that? DOCTOR: The pyramid above us. How many Silence do you have trapped inside it? KOVARIAN: None. They're not trapped. They never have been. They've been waiting for this, Doctor. For you. RORY: They're out! All of them. (And the soldiers are getting slaughtered. Rory bars the door.) RORY: No one gets in here! Ma'am, my men out there should be able to lock this down. We have them outnumbered. KOVARIAN: And you're wearing eye drives based on mine, I think. Oops. DOCTOR: What do you mean? (Electricity surges through Doctor Kent's eye drive. She screams.) "DOCTOR; Help her! Help her!" (Soldiers are being affected, too.) AMY: She's dead. (The Doctor's eye drive tries to zap him.) DOCTOR: Eye drives off now. Remove them. (Amy takes the Doctor's eye drive off him, but then her own powers up.) KOVARIAN: The Silence would never allow an advantage without taking one themselves. The effects will vary from person to person. Either death or debilitating agony. But they will take you all, one by one. (Madame Kovarian's eye drive starts to zap.) KOVARIAN: What are you doing? No, it's me. Don't be stupid. You need me. Stop it. Stop that! DOCTOR: We could stop this right now, you and I. KOVARIAN: Get it off me. DOCTOR: Amy, tell her. AMY: We've been working on something. Just let us show you. DOCTOR: There's no point. There's nothing you can do. My time is up. AMY: We're doing this for you! DOCTOR: Then people are dying for me. I won't thank you for that, Amelia Pond. KOVARIAN: Get it RIVER: Just let us show you. AMY: Please. Captain Williams, how long do we have? RORY: Er, a couple of minutes. RIVER: That's enough. We're going to the Receptor Room right at the top of the pyramid. I hope you're ready for a climb. RORY: I'll wait down here, Ma'am. Buy you as much time as I can. AMY: You have to take your eye drive off. RORY: Can't do that, Ma'am. Might forget what's coming. AMY: But it could activate any second. RORY: It has activated, Ma'am. But I'm of no use to you if I can't remember. You have to go now, Ma'am. AMY: Yes. RORY: Now! AMY: Yes, thank you, Captain Williams. (Amy leaves, taking one last look back. Rory fights the pain to keep his gun hand steady as three Silence break through the door.) SILENCE: Rory Williams, the man who dies and dies again. Die one last time and know she will never come back for you. (Amy lets loose a machine gun at them.) AMY: Come on, you. Up you get. You all right? (She takes his eye drive off.) KOVARIAN: Amy, help me. (Her eye drive is hanging off.) AMY: You took my baby from me and hurt her. And now she's all grown up and she's fine, but I'll never see my baby again. KOVARIAN: But you'll still save me, though. Because he would, and you'd never do anything to disappoint your precious Doctor. RORY: Ma'am, we have to go, now. AMY: The Doctor is very precious to me, you're right. But do you know what else he is, Madame Kovarian? Not here. (Amy puts Kovarian's eye drive back in place.) AMY: River Song didn't get it all from you, sweetie. (Amy takes Rory's arm and they leave as Kovarian starts screaming.) AMY: So, you and me, we should get a drink some time. RORY: Okay. AMY: And married. RORY: Fine. [Receptor room] (Open to the sky, where the cap of the pyramid should be.) DOCTOR: What's this? Oh, it's as timey-wimey distress beacon. Who built this? RIVER: I'm the child of the Tardis. I understand the physics. DOCTOR: But that's all you've got, a distress beacon. RIVER: I've been sending out a message. A distress call. Outside the bubble of our time, the universe is still turning, and I've sent a message everywhere. To the future and the past, the beginning and the end of everything. The Doctor is dying. Please, please help. DOCTOR: River! River, this is ridiculous. That would mean nothing to anyone. It's insane. Worse, it's stupid. You embarrass me. AMY: We barricaded the door. We've got a few minutes. Just tell him. Just tell him, River. RIVER: Those reports of the sun spots and the solar flares. They're wrong. There aren't any. It's not the sun, it's you. The sky is full of a million, million voices saying yes, of course we'll help. You've touched so many lives, saved so many people. Did you think when your time came, you'd really have to do more than just ask? You've decided that the universe is better off without you, but the universe doesn't agree. DOCTOR: River, no one can help me. A fixed point has been altered. Time is disintegrating. RIVER: I can't let you die. DOCTOR: But I have to die. RIVER: Shut up! I can't let you die without knowing you are loved by so many, and so much, and by no one more than me. DOCTOR: River, you and I, we know what this means. We are ground zero of an explosion that will engulf all reality. Billions on billions will suffer and die. RIVER: I'll suffer if I have to kill you. DOCTOR: More than every living thing in the universe? RIVER: Yes. DOCTOR: River, River, why do you have to be this? Melody Pond, your daughter. I hope you're both proud. RORY: I'm not sure I completely understand. AMY: We got married and had a kid and that's her. RORY: Okay. DOCTOR: Amy, uncuff me now. Okay, I need a strip of cloth about a foot long. Anything will do. Never mind. (The Doctor takes off his bow tie.) DOCTOR: River, take one end of this. Wrap it around your hand, and hold it out to me. RIVER: What am I doing? DOCTOR: As you're told. Now, we're in the middle of a combat zone, so we'll have to do the quick version. Captain Williams, say I consent and gladly give. RORY: To what? DOCTOR: Just say it. Please. RORY: I consent and gladly give. DOCTOR: Need you to say it too, mother of the bride. AMY: I consent and gladly give. DOCTOR: Now River, I'm about to whisper something in your ear, and you have to remember it very, very carefully, and tell no one what I said. (He whispers something very short.) DOCTOR: I just told you my name. Now, there you go, River Song. Melody Pond. You're the woman who married me. And wife, I have a request. This world is dying and it's my fault, and I can't bear it another day. Please, help me. There isn't another way. RIVER: Then you may kiss the bride. DOCTOR: I'll make it a good one. RIVER: You'd better. (The clock starts moving forward as we go to a white-out and flashbacks of the events at the lakeside when the Doctor died and was cremated.) DOCTOR [OC]: And you are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven. (The steam railways and cars on balloons vanish from London. The pterodactyls go away.) CHILDREN [OC]: Tick tock goes the clock, he gave all he could give. Tick tock goes the clock, now prison waits for River.) [Garden] (Amy is sitting at the patio table looking up at the night sky. There is a flash of light nearby.) AMY: Heard there was a freak meteor shower two miles away, so I got us a bottle. RIVER: Thank you, dear. AMY: So where are we? RIVER: I just climbed out of the Byzantium. You were there. So young. Didn't have a clue who I was. You're funny like that. Where are you? AMY: The Doctor's dead. RIVER: How are you doing? AMY: How do you think? RIVER: Well, I don't know unless you tell me. AMY: I killed someone. Madame Kovarian, in cold blood. RIVER: In an aborted time line, in a world that never was. AMY: Yeah, but I can remember it, so it happened, so I did it. What does that make me now? I need to talk to the Doctor, but I can't now, can I? RIVER: If you could talk to him, would it make a difference? AMY: But he's dead, so, so I can't. RIVER: Oh, Mother, of course he isn't. AMY: Not for you, I suppose. You're seeing the younger versions of him running around, having adventures. RIVER: Yeah, I am. But that's not what I mean. AMY: Then what do you mean? RIVER: Okay. I'm going to tell you what I probably shouldn't. The Doctor's last secret. Don't you want to know what he whispered in my ear? AMY: He whispered his name. RIVER: Not his name, no. AMY: Yes, it was. He said it was. RIVER: Rule One? AMY: The Doctor lies. RIVER: So do I, all the time. Have to. Spoilers. Pretending I don't know you're my mother, pretending I don't recognise a space suit in Florida. AMY: What did he whisper in your ear? RIVER: Oh, that man. He's always one step ahead of everyone. Always a plan. AMY: River, what did he tell you? River. (Rory gets home to see Amy and River hugging and dancing around the garden.) RORY: Hey. What? AMY: He's not dead. He's not dead. RORY: Are you sure, River? Are you really, properly sure? RIVER: Of course I'm sure. I'm his wife. AMY: Yes! And I'm his (pause) mother in law. RIVER: Father dear, I think Mummy might need another drink. RORY: Yes. Yes. [Charnel house] (Dorium's box is being returned to its pedestal by a cloaked figure.) DORIUM [OC]: Who's carrying me? I demand to know. I'm a head, I have rights. I want my doors open this time. I demand that my doors are open. (The figure opens his door and turns to leave.) DORIUM: Is it you? It is, isn't it. It is you, I can sense it. But how did you do it? How could you possibly have escaped? [Calisto B space bar] CARTER [memory]: Is there nothing else we can do? (The Doctor leaves, then pops back again with a big grin on his face.) DOCTOR: Actually, thinking about it [Receptor room] (What the Doctor whispered was -) DOCTOR: Look into my eye. (The Doctor waves at River from the eyeball of the Teselecta.) [Charnel house] (The Doctor removes the cloak.) DOCTOR: The Teselecta. A Doctor in a Doctor suit. Time said I had to be on that beach, so I dressed for the occasion. Barely got singed in that boat. DORIUM: So you're going to do this? Let them all think you're dead? DOCTOR: It's the only way, then they can all forget me. I got too big, Dorium. Too noisy. Time to step back into the shadows. DORIUM: And Doctor Song, in prison all her days? DOCTOR: Her days, yes. Her nights? Well, that's between her and me, eh? DORIUM: So many secrets, Doctor. I'll help you keep them, of course. DOCTOR: Well, you're not exactly going anywhere, are you? DORIUM: But you're a fool nonetheless. It's all still waiting for you. The fields of Trenzalore, the fall of the Eleventh, and the question. DOCTOR: Goodbye, Dorium. DORIUM: The first question. The question that must never be answered, hidden in plain sight. The question you've been running from all your life. Doctor who? Doctor who? Doctor Who. [Prequel] (The Doctor is enjoying tea and a biscuit in a tea room when he sees a cloaked figure with no visible face sitting across the room. No one else notices. Then it is sitting opposite him.) DOCTOR: I don't think I asked you to sit. FIGURE: There is a woman who wants to meet you. DOCTOR: That's nice, but I'm married. FIGURE: Your help is required. DOCTOR: I don't discuss my business in public. FIGURE: I know. (A wave of the hand, and they are the only people in the tea room.) DOCTOR: Who are you? FIGURE: A messenger. DOCTOR: Whose messenger? FIGURE: Darla von Karlsen. DOCTOR: Never heard of her. (He stands up. The location has changed.) DOCTOR: Where's the tea room? FIGURE: You were never in the tea room. DOCTOR: Oh. Of course. Psychic projection. Someone's sending me a dream message. Well, I hope I fell asleep somewhere comfy. FIGURE: Do you recognise where you are? (Children's laughter off.) DOCTOR: Can't remember. How do you hang up on this thing? FIGURE: You can't. DOCTOR: Oh yeah? And what if I just wake up? (In a deckchair on a beach.) FIGURE: No, Doctor. The beach isn't real either. You are still dreaming. (In space.) FIGURE: Spacetime coordinates. You will meet Darla von Karlsen here. Her daughter is in danger, and only you can save her. You recognise the planet? DOCTOR: Yes. FIGURE: Say it. DOCTOR: No. FIGURE: Name the planet. DOCTOR: I will not say that name. FIGURE: Say it. DOCTOR: No! (The Doctor wakes up underneath the time rotor.) FIGURE [OC]: Name the planet. Name the planet. Name the planet. DOCTOR: Skaro. [Skaro] (A scene of utter devastation and persisting rainfall. We pan around a giant Dalek statue covered in mould and mess.) DARLA [OC]: First, there were the Daleks. And then, there was a man who fought them. And then, in time, he died. There are a few, of course, who believe this man somehow survived, and that one day he will return. For both our sakes, dearest Hannah, we must hope these stories are true. (A robed figure wearing high heels turns to a shadow with the profile of the Doctor walking inside the eyepiece of the statue.) DOCTOR: I got your message. Not many people can do that. Send me messages. DARLA: I have a daughter, Hannah. She's in a Dalek prison camp. They say you can help. DOCTOR: Do they? I wish they'd stop. I love your choice of meeting place. DARLA: They said I'd have to intrigue you. DOCTOR: Skaro. The original planet of the Daleks. Look at the state of it. Who told you about me? DARLA: Does it matter? DOCTOR: Maybe not, but you're very well informed. If Hannah's in a Dalek prison camp, tell me, why aren't you? DARLA: I escaped. DOCTOR: (chuckles) No. Nobody escapes the Dalek camps. You're very cold. DARLA: What's wrong? DOCTOR: It's a trap. DARLA: What is? DOCTOR: You are, and you don't even know it. (The Doctor backs away as a Dalek eyepiece comes out of her forehead, then a gun out of her right palm. He is shot, and a Dalek saucer appears in the sky.) DALEK [OC]: The Doctor is acquired. [Photoshoot] (Amy is modelling for the cameras in a stately home when the Personal Assistant gestures to her.) AMY: I'll just be a minute. PA: Your husband is here. AMY: Hmm. I don't have a husband. PA: Oh, well, apparently you still do. [Dressing room] RORY: You have to sign these. AMY: And then we're not married? RORY: Just like magic. (Amy signs.) AMY: Can't chat. Working. RORY: Really? Thought you were just pouting at a camera. AMY: Rory? (Rory leaves and Cassandra the make-up artist enters. One of the bulbs on the make up dresser is flashing.) CASSANDRA: Sorry, love. Was I interrupting? AMY: No. CASSANDRA: Gosh, look at you. You've gone so pale. Come on, take a seat. We'll soon sort that out. (But Cassandra sprouts a Dalek eyepiece instead.) DALEK [OC]: Amelia Pond is acquired. [Bus] (Rory gets on board.) RORY: Cheers. (He sit down. The bus driver stares at him in his mirror, then a Dalek eyepiece grows from his forehead. The bus is filled with white light.) DALEK [OC]: Rory Williams is acquired. [White room] (Rory wakes up on the floor of a circular room. Amy is standing nearby.) RORY: Where are we? (He gets up and looks out of the small window. There is a fleet of Dalek saucers outside.) RORY: So how much trouble are we in? (The door opens and a Dalek enters.) DOCTOR [OC]: How much trouble, Mister Pond? (The Doctor enters, under escort.) DOCTOR: Out of ten? Eleven. (The ceiling opens and the floor rises, lifting them into -) [Parliament] (A large domed area with a multitude of Daleks in tiers around them, and the White Supreme Dalek nearby, along with an organic Dalek and the Tardis.) AMY: Where are we? A spaceship, right? DOCTOR: Not just any spaceship. The Parliament of the Daleks. Be brave. AMY: What do we do? DOCTOR: Make them remember you. Well, come on then. You've got me. What are you waiting for? At long last, it's Christmas! Here I am. (The Doctor closes his eyes tight, expecting to die. The organic Dalek speaks.) DALEK PM: Save us. You will save us. DOCTOR: I'll what? DALEK: You will save the Daleks. DALEKS: Save the Daleks. Save the Daleks. Save the Daleks. Save the Daleks. Save the Daleks. Save the Daleks. Save the Daleks. DOCTOR: Well. DALEKS: Save the Daleks. DOCTOR: This is new. [Room] (A musical box plays Carmen as a young brunette nails planks over the round window. It is a neat room with a hammock and a microwave.) OSWIN [OC]: Day three six three. The terror continues. Also, made another soufflé, very nearly. Check defences. They came again last night. Still always at night. Maybe they're vampires. Oh, and it's my mum's birthday. Happy birthday, mum. OSWIN: I did make you a soufflé, but it was too beautiful to live. DALEK [OC]: You will let us enter! We will enter! We will enter! (She turns up the volume on Carmen. Toreador blasts out.) [Parliament] RORY: What's he doing? AMY: He's chosen the most defendable area in the room, counted all the Daleks, counted all the exits, and now he's calculating the exact distance we're standing apart and starting to worry. Oh, and look at him frowning now. (Dalek Darla is there.) AMY: Something's wrong with Amy and Rory, and who's going to fix it? And he straightens his bow tie. DALEK PM: We have arrived. DOCTOR: Arrived where? DALEK PM: Doctor. DARLA: The Prime Minister will speak with you now. DOCTOR: Do you remember who you were before they emptied you out and turned you into their puppet? DARLA: My memories are only reactivated if they are required to facilitate cover or disguise. DOCTOR: You had a daughter. DARLA: I know. I've read my file. (The Doctor walks up to the Prime Minister, who is the organic Dalek.) DOCTOR: Well? DALEK PM: What do you know of the Dalek Asylum? DOCTOR: According to legend, you have a dumping ground. A planet where you lock up all the Daleks that go wrong. The battle-scarred, the insane, the ones even you can't control. It's never made any sense to me. DALEK PM: Why not? DOCTOR: Because you'd just kill them. DALEK PM: It is offensive to us to extinguish such divine hatred. DOCTOR: Offensive? DALEK PM: Does it surprise you to know the Daleks have a concept of beauty? DOCTOR: I thought you'd run out of ways to make me sick. Hello again. You think hatred is beautiful. DALEK PM: Perhaps that is why we have never been able to kill you. (A hole opens in the middle of the floor. The Doctor and Darla walk back to it. A planet is visible.) DARLA: The Asylum. It occupies the entire planet, right to the core. DOCTOR: How many Daleks are in there? DARLA: A count has not been made. Millions, certainly. DOCTOR: All still alive? DARLA: It has to be assumed. The Asylum is fully automated. Supervision is not required. AMY: Armed? DARLA: The Daleks are always armed. RORY: What colour? I'm sorry, there weren't any good questions left. DARLA: This signal is being received from the very heart of the Asylum. (Carmen comes over the speakers.) WHITE: What is the noise? Explain. Explain. DOCTOR: Er, it's me. RORY: Sorry, what? DOCTOR: It's me, playing the triangle. Okay, I got buried in the mix. Carmen. Lovely show. Someone's transmitting this. Have you considered tracking back the signal and talking to them? He asked the Daleks. [Room] DOCTOR [OC]: Hello? Hello? Carmen [Parliament] DOCTOR: Hello? [Room] OSWIN: Hello? DOCTOR [OC]: Come in. Come in. [Parliament] DOCTOR: Come in, Carmen. [Room] OSWIN: Hello! Yes, yes, sorry. Do you read me? [Parliament] DOCTOR: Yes, reading you loud and clear. Identify [Room] DOCTOR [OC]: Yourself and report your status. OSWIN: Hello. Are you real? Are you actually, properly, real? [Parliament] DOCTOR: Yes, confirmed. Actually, properly, real. OSWIN [OC]: Oswin Oswald, junior entertainment officer, starship [Room] OSWIN: Alaska. Current status, crashed and shipwrecked somewhere not nice. Been here a year, rest of the crew missing. Provisions good but keen to move on. [Parliament] DOCTOR: A year? Are you okay? Are you under attack? OSWIN [OC]: Some local lifeforms. [Room] OSWIN: Been keeping them out. DOCTOR [OC]: Do you know what those lifeforms are? OSWIN: I know a Dalek when I hear one, yeah. [Parliament] DOCTOR: What have you been doing on your own against the Daleks for a year? [Room] OSWIN: Making soufflés? [Parliament] DOCTOR: Soufflés? Against the Daleks? Where'd you get the milk? WHITE: This conversation is irrelevant. DOCTOR: No, it isn't. [Room] OSWIN: No! Hello? Hello? [Parliament] DOCTOR: Because a starliner has crashed into your Asylum, and someone's got in. And if someone can get in, then everything can get out. A tsunami of insane Daleks. Even you don't want that. WHITE: The Asylum must be cleansed. DOCTOR: Then why is it still here? You've enough firepower on this ship to blast it out of the sky. DARLA: The Asylum forcefield is impenetrable. DOCTOR: Turn it off. DARLA: It can only be turned off from within the Asylum. DOCTOR: A small taskforce could sneak through a forcefield. Send in a couple of Daleks. Oh. (applauds) Oh. Oh, that's good. That's brilliant. You're all too scared to go down there. Not one of you will go, so tell me, what do the Daleks do when they're too scared? WHITE: The Predator of the Daleks will be deployed. DOCTOR: You don't have a Predator, and even if you did, why would they turn off a forcefield for you? DALEK PM: Because you will have no other means of escape. DARLA: May I clarify? The Predator is the Dalek's word for you. DOCTOR: Me? Me? DARLA: You will need this. It will protect you from the nanocloud. (Two humanoids put a wristband on the Doctor's wrist.) DOCTOR: The what? The nano what? DARLA: The gravity beam will convey you close to the source of the transmission. You must find a way to deactivate the forcefield from there. DOCTOR: You're going to fire me at a planet? That's your plan? I get fired at a planet and expected to fix it. RORY: In fairness, that is slightly your M O. DOCTOR: Don't be fair to the Daleks when they're firing me at a planet. (Rory and Amy have wristbands put on them, too.) DOCTOR: What do you want with them? WHITE: It is known the Doctor required companions. RORY: Oh, brilliant. Good oh. DOCTOR: Don't worry. We'll get through this, I promise. Don't be scared. (Amy's Look could melt granite.) AMY: Scared? Who's scared. Geronimo. DOCTOR: Ha! Oi! (The humanoids push our trio into the gravity beam.) [Gravity beam] ALL: Argh! RORY: Wrong way up! Wrong way up! (Rory plummets past the Doctor and Amy, head first.) AMY: Doctor! (The beam splits into three.) [Snowfield] (Amy lands on a snowy landscape with a brilliant blue sky. A black man in white thermals drops his drill - labelled Alaska - and runs to them.) HARVEY: Hello? Hello? Who are you? You okay? AMY: Rory? Doctor? HARVEY: I'm Harvey. No. Who's Rory? (Harvey chases after Amy.) HARVEY: Where are you going? (Over the ridge, a series of eyepieces pop up and down from under the snow to look at the Doctor.) DOCTOR: Oh, ha, ha, ha. (Then Carmen plays.) OSWIN [OC}: Sorry, sorry. Pressed the wrong switch. DOCTOR: Soufflé girl? [Room] OSWIN: You can always call me Oswin, seeing as that's my name. You okay? DOCTOR [on screen]: How are you doing that, eh? This is Dalek technology. OSWIN: It's very easy to hack. DOCTOR [on screen]: No, it isn't. Where are you? OSWIN: The ship broke up when it hit. Somewhere underground, I think. You coming to get me? AMY [OC]: Doctor? (The picture starts to break up.) DOCTOR [on screen]: Hey! Oi! Soufflé girl! OSWIN: Damn. DOCTOR [OC]: Come back! [Snowfield] AMY: Doctor! DOCTOR: Amy! Hey, where's Rory? HARVEY: There was another beam. There. Over there. Are you the rescue team? (They run across the snow.) [Room] OSWIN: Hello? [Snowfield] (A shaft has been drilled through the snow and rock.) AMY: Rory? Rory! Rory! [Chamber] (Meltwater pours down the walls, and something green drips onto Rory's face, waking him up. There are lots of inanimate Daleks here. He touches one, but it doesn't respond so he pushes it away.) [Snowfield] HARVEY: We came down two days ago. There's twelve of our escape pods. I don't know what happened to them. AMY: Alaska? That's the same ship as soufflé girl. (Harvey opens a hatch covered in snow.) DOCTOR: Yeah. Except she's been here a year. [Escape pod] HARVEY: We should have some climbing rope long enough for that hole. DOCTOR: Won't you introduce us to your crew? HARVEY: Ah, yes, sorry. Guys, this is the Doctor and Amy. (No response.) HARVEY: Guys? (The crew are desiccated corpses.) HARVEY: Oh, my god. (The Doctor does a quick sonic scan.) DOCTOR: They're dead. All of them. HARVEY: That's not possible. I just spoke to them. Two hours ago. We were doing engine repairs. DOCTOR: You're sure about that, are you? Because I'd say they've all been dead for a very long time. HARVEY: But they can't have been. AMY: Well, they didn't get in this state in two hours. HARVEY: No, of course. Stupid me. AMY: Of course what? HARVEY: I died outside, and the cold preserved my body. I forgot about dying. (Out pops the Dalek eyepiece. The Doctor grabs a CO2 fire extinguisher and lets it off in Harvey's face.) DOCTOR: Amy, the door! AMY: Come on, come on. (Harvey is backed through a door that Amy manages to get open, then closes and locks again.) AMY: Explain. That's what you're good at. How'd he get all Daleked? DOCTOR: Because he wasn't wearing one of these. Oh, ho, ho. That's clever. The nanocloud. Microorganisms that automatically process any organic matter, living or dead, into a Dalek puppet. Anything attacks this place, it automatically becomes part of the on-site security. AMY: Living or dead? DOCTOR: These wristbands protect us. The only thing stopping us going exactly the way he did AMY: Doctor, shut up! Living or dead? DOCTOR: Yes, exactly. Living or, or (The corpses have glowing eyepieces, and are starting to move.) DOCTOR: Dead. Oh dear. (The Doctor kicks the zombies so he and Amy can get into the -) [Cockpit] (He pulls Amy's arm out of the zombie's grasp and seals the bulkhead door.) AMY: Is it bad that I've really missed this? DOCTOR: Yes. AMY: Good. DOCTOR: I know. [Room] OSWIN: Unauthorised personnel may not enter the cockpit. [Cockpit] DOCTOR: Shut up. OSWIN [OC]: Oh, Mister Grumpy. [Room] OSWIN: Bad combo. No sense of humour in that chin. AMY [on screen]: Is that her again, soufflé girl? DOCTOR [on screen]: Yeah, she. Oi, what is wrong with my chin? OSWIN: Careful, dear. You'll put someone's eye out. [Cockpit] OSWIN [OC]: Scanning you. You're in another of the escape pods from the Alaska, right? [Room] OSWIN: Same ship I was on. DOCTOR [on screen]: How can you hack into everything? It should be impossible. You're in a crashed ship! OSWIN: Long story. Is there a word for total screaming genius that sounds modest and a tiny bit sexy? DOCTOR [on screen]: Doctor. You call me the Doctor. OSWIN: See what you did there. (Beep.) OSWIN: Check the floor. I'm picking up a breach at floor level. There could be a way out. See you later. [Cockpit] DOCTOR: Ah ha! Hatch. Looks like it's been used already and they've tried to block it off behind them. AMY: Can't imagine why. DOCTOR: The lower part of the pod is buried, so this must go straight down to the Asylum. AMY: Where Rory is. DOCTOR: Speaking of Rory, is there anything you want to tell me? AMY: Are we going to do this now? DOCTOR: What happened? AMY: Oh, stuff. You know. We split up. What can you do? DOCTOR: What can I do? AMY: Nothing. It's not one of those things you can fix like you fix your bowtie. Don't give me those big wet eyes, Raggedy Man. It's life. Just life. That thing that goes on when you're not there. (The Doctor gets the hatch open. A shaft heads down into the planet, with a flexible metal ladder hanging down it.) AMY: Okay, so somebody else got out this way, then. DOCTOR: Yeah, let's go and find them. Oh, hello, hello, hello. What are they up to? (The zombies are on a small monitor on the wall, waving something at the camera.) AMY: What's that? DOCTOR: One of these. (a wristband) But where did they get it? (They pulled it off Amy's wrist a few minutes ago.) AMY: Doctor, they got it from me. DOCTOR: Oh, Amy. AMY: Doctor, what's going to happen to me? Seriously. Tell me what. [Chamber] (Rory is using the small penlight he always carries when he serves divorce papers on his wife to explore his surroundings. He kicks a piece of metal, and a Dalek's eyepiece starts to glow.) RORY: Shush. (Other Daleks start to boot up, too, making sounds.) RORY: What? Sorry, what? DALEK: Eg eg eg eg eg eg eg. RORY: Eggs? You mean those things? (The roundels on the Dalek's casing. Some have fallen off onto the floor.) DALEK: Egg. RORY: I don't, I don't know what you want. Those things. Are those things eggs? This? You want this. DALEK: Egg. Stir. Min. Ate. (Rory drops the ball.) DALEK: Exterminate. DALEKS: Exterminate. (One weapon blast just misses him. Rory tries to run the gauntlet.) DALEK: Emergency. Emergency. Exterminate. Exterminate. OSWIN [OC]: Run! The door at the end, run for it. They're waking up, but they're slow. The door at the end. Just run. Now! Now! Now! DALEKS: Exterminate. Exterminate. (The door rises up as Rory runs. He slides underneath and it shuts behind him.) [Corridor] OSWIN [OC]: So, anyway, I'm Oswin. What do I call you? RORY: Er, I can't remember. Er, Rory. [Room] OSWIN: Lovely name, Rory. First boy I ever fancied was called Rory. RORY [on screen]: Okay. OSWIN: Actually, she was called Nina. I was going through a phase. [Corridor] OSWIN [OC]: Just flirting to keep you cheerful. DALEKS [OC]: Exterminate. Exterminate. RORY: Er, okay, any time you want to start flirting again is fine by me. [Another corridor] (The Doctor and Amy are climbing down the ladder from the cockpit into another corridor.) AMY: So tell me, what's going to happen to me? And don't lie. Because I know when you're lying to me and I will definitely fall on you. DOCTOR: The air all around is full of micro-machines. Robots the size of molecules. Nanogenes. Now that you're unprotected, you're being re-written. AMY: So, what happens? I get one of those things sticking out of my head? DOCTOR: Physical changes come later. AMY: What comes first? How does it start? DOCTOR: With your mind. Your feelings, your memories, and I'm sorry but it's started already. AMY: How do you know? DOCTOR: Because we've had this conversation four times. AMY: Okay, scared now. DOCTOR: Hang on to scared. Scared isn't Dalek. [Corridor] (Rory's torch starts to flicker.) OSWIN [OC]: Hey there, beakie boy. RORY: If it's a straight choice, I prefer Nina. OSWIN [OC]: Loving this. The nose and the chin. [Room] OSWIN: You two could fence. There's a door behind you. (The door rises and Rory runs through into a room with a large round platform in the middle.)  OSWIN: In there, quickly. Okay, you're safe for now. Pop your shirt off, quick as you like. RORY [on screen]: Why? OSWIN: Does there have to be a reason? [Chamber] (A door rises to let Amy and the Doctor into the place where Rory met the Daleks. The bad-tempered pepperpots are still repeating their favourite word some way away. The Doctor sniffs.) AMY: What's that? (They back out again.) [Outside the chamber] DOCTOR: Keep a look out. Don't open this door. Oswin! (Amy's head hurts.) DOCTOR: Oswin, can you hear me? [Room] OSWIN: Hello, the chin. I have visual on you. DOCTOR [on screen]: Why don't I have a visual on you? Why can't I ever see you? OSWIN: Limited power, bad hair, take your pick. There's a door to your left. Open it. [Outside the chamber] OSWIN [OC]: I'm going to send you a map to that screen. I put your little friend somewhere safe. I can get you to him. [Room] DOCTOR [on screen]: Rory. You found Rory? OSWIN: I call him Nina. Personal thing. Hush now. [Outside the chamber] (Amy looks through the transparent panels in the door and sees a man in a suit standing in the chamber.) AMY: Who are you? Doctor? (There are lots of people in the chamber now, men and women in various styles of dress from formal evening wear to a little red-haired girl in a ballet tutu. Amy opens the door and goes in.) [Room] DOCTOR [on screen]: How many Daleks directly ahead of me right now? OSWIN: Ten, twenty. [Outside the chamber] OSWIN [OC]: Hard to say. Some of them are catatonic but they do have firepower. DOCTOR: How do I get past them? Amy! [Chamber] AMY: Shush. It's okay, it's just people in here. It's just people. DOCTOR: Amy, it's the nanocloud, it's altering your perception. Look again. Look again. Those aren't people. (Now she sees Daleks.) DOCTOR: Amy, come out. Take my hand. Run! Run! [Corridor] (They run back to the rope ladder, which is moving under the weight of descending zombies.) AMY: Look, they're coming down! DOCTOR: Er, oh yes, they are. DALEK: Intruder. DOCTOR: Run. DALEK: Intruder. (They hide in the cubby hole Oswin opened for the Doctor.) DALEK: Intruder. (It runs out of power. They come out of the cubby hole again.) DOCTOR: It's damaged. AMY: Okay, but what do we do? DOCTOR: Identify me. Access your files. Who am I? Come on. Who's your daddy? DALEK: You are the Predator. DOCTOR: Access your standing orders concerning the Predator. DALEK: The Predator must be destroyed. DOCTOR: And how are you going to do that, Dalek? Without a gun you're a tricycle with a roof. How are you going to destroy me? DALEK: Self-destruct initiated. AMY: What's it doing? DOCTOR: It's going to blow itself up, and I with it. Only weapon it's got left. DALEK: Self-destruct cannot be countermanded. (It's internal clock is down to 12. The Doctor lifts its lid and scans inside.) DOCTOR: I'm not looking for a countermand, dear. I'm looking for reverse. DALEK: Forward, forward. (The Dalek whizzes backwards into the chamber, bumps into a colleague and blows up.) [Teleport room] (The explosion is felt here.) RORY: Oswin? [Room] RORY [on screen]: What was that? That was close. [Chamber] (Rory runs in to see the smoking remains of Dalek shells.) RORY: Oswin? What happened? Who killed all the Daleks? (The Doctor enters from the other side, carrying Amy.) DOCTOR: Who do you think? [Teleport room] (The Doctor lays Amy on the teleport pad.) RORY: Will sleeping help her? Will it slow down the process? OSWIN [OC]: You'd better hope so [Room] OSWIN: Because pretty soon she's going to try and kill you. [Teleport room] DOCTOR: Amy. AMY: Ow. DOCTOR: Amy. Still with us. RORY: Amy, it's me. Do you remember me? (Amy slaps Rory.) RORY: She remembers me. DOCTOR: Same old Amy. [Room] OSWIN: Do you know how you make someone into a Dalek? Subtract love, add anger. Doesn't she seem a bit too angry to you? [Teleport room] AMY: Well, somebody's never been to Scotland. DOCTOR: What about you, though, Oswin. How come you're okay? [Room] DOCTOR [on screen]: Why hasn't the nanocloud converted you? OSWIN: I mentioned the genius thing, yeah? Shielded in here. [Teleport room] DOCTOR: Clever of you. Now, this place. The Daleks said it was fully automated. Look at it. It's a wreck. [Room] OSWIN: Well, I've had nearly a year to mess with them, and not a lot else to do. DOCTOR [on screen]: A junior entertainment manager hiding out in a wrecked ship, hacking the security systems of the most advanced warrior race [Teleport room] DOCTOR: The universe has ever seen. But you know what really gets me about you, Oswin? The soufflés. Where do you get milk [Room] DOCTOR [on screen]: For the soufflés? [Teleport room] DOCTOR: Seriously. Is no one else wondering about that? RORY: No. Frankly, no. Twice. OSWIN [OC]: So, Doctor. [Room] OSWIN: I've been looking you up. You're all over the database. Why do the Daleks call you the Predator? DOCTOR [on screen]: I'm not the Predator, I'm just a man with a plan. OSWIN: You've got a plan? [Teleport room] RORY: That's all he is. AMY: There's a nose joke going if someone wants to pick that one off. DOCTOR: In no particular order, we need to neutralise all the Daleks in this Asylum, rescue Oswin from the wreckage, escape from this planet and fix Amy and Rory's marriage. AMY: Okay, I'm counting three lost causes. Anyone else? DOCTOR: Oswin, there's a Dalek ship in orbit. OSWIN [OC]: Yes. Got it on the sensors DOCTOR: The Asylum has a forcefield. The Daleks upstairs are waiting for me to turn it off. Soon as I do, they'll burn this whole world and us with it. [Room] DOCTOR [on screen]: So, Oswin, my question is this. How fast can you drop the forcefield? OSWIN: Pretty fast. But why would I? DOCTOR [on screen]: Because this is a teleport. Am I right, Oswin? OSWIN: Yeah. Internal use only. [Teleport room] DOCTOR: I can boost the power. Once the forcefield is down, I can use it to beam us right off this planet. RORY: You said when the forcefield is down, the Daleks will blow us up. DOCTOR: We'll have to be quick, yes. AMY: Fine, we'll be quick. But where do we beam to? DOCTOR: The only place within range. The Dalek ship. AMY: They'll exterminate us on the spot. RORY: Ah, so this is the kind of escape plan where you survive about four seconds longer. DOCTOR: What's wrong with four seconds? You can do loads in four seconds. Oswin, how fast can you drop the forcefield? [Room] OSWIN: I can do it from here, as soon as you come and get me. [Teleport room] DOCTOR: No, just drop the forcefield and come to us. [Room] OSWIN: There's enough power in that teleport for one go. Why would you wait for me? [Teleport room] DOCTOR: Why wouldn't I? [Room] OSWIN: No idea. Never met you. Sending you a map so you can come get me. [Teleport room] RORY: This place is crawling with Daleks. [Room] OSWIN: Yeah. Kind of why I'm anxious to leave. Come up and see me sometime. [Teleport room] RORY: So, are we going to go get her? DOCTOR: I don't think that we have a choice. Okay, as soon as the forcefield is down the Daleks will attack. If it gets too explody-wody in here, you go without me, okay? RORY: And leave you to die? DOCTOR: Oh, don't worry about me. You're the one beaming up to a Dalek ship to get exterminated. RORY: Fair point. Love this plan. What about Amy? DOCTOR: Keep her remembering, keep her focused. That'll hold back the conversion. AMY: What do I do? DOCTOR: You heard what she said. They're subtracting love. Don't let them. [Corridor] (The Doctor makes his way carefully.) DALEKS [OC]: Emergency. Emergency. Prepare to be annihilated. Emergency. We are the Daleks. We are the Daleks. [Teleport room] RORY: Okay, look at me. I'm going to be logical. Cold and logical, okay? For both of our sakes, for both of us, I'm going to take this off my wrist and put it on yours. AMY: Why? Then it'll just start converting you. That's not better. RORY: Yes, but it'll buy us time, because it'll take longer with me. AMY: Sorry, what? RORY: It subtracts love, that's what she said. AMY: What's that got to do with it? What does that even mean? RORY: It's arithmetic. It'll take longer with me because we both know, we've always known, that. Amy, the basic fact of our relationship is that I love you more than you love me, which today is good news because it might just save both of our lives. AMY: How can you say that? RORY: Two thousand years, waiting for you outside a box. Don't say it isn't true, you know it's true. Give me your arm. Amy! (Amy slaps Rory.) AMY: Don't you dare say that to me. Don't you ever dare. RORY: Amy, you kicked me out. AMY: You want kids. You have always wanted kids. Ever since you were a kid. And I can't have them. RORY: I know. AMY: Whatever they did to me at Demons Run, I can't ever give you children. I didn't kick you out. I gave you up. RORY: Amy, I don't AMY: Don't you dare talk to me about waiting outside a box, because that is nothing, Rory, nothing, compared to giving you up. RORY: Just give me your arm. Let me put this on you. Just give me your arm! AMY: Don't touch me! (She is already wearing a wristband.) RORY: It's the Doctor's. When you were sleeping AMY: That Time Lord. What's the betting he doesn't even need it. RORY: Why didn't he just tell us? (Amy sees the Doctor straighten his bow tie on a monitor.) [Corridor] DOCTOR: Oswin, I think I'm close. [Room] OSWIN: You are. Less than twenty feet away. Which is the good news. [Corridor] DOCTOR: Okay. And the bad which I suddenly feel is coming? [Room] OSWIN: You're about to pass through Intensive Care. [Intensive Care] (The Daleks here are in cages.) DOCTOR: What's so special about this lot, then? OSWIN [OC]: Don't know. [Room] OSWIN: Survivors of particular wars. Spiridon, Kembel, Aridius, Vulcan, Exxilon. Ringing any bells? [Intensive Care] DOCTOR: All of them. OSWIN [OC]: Yeah? How? DOCTOR: These are the Daleks who survived me. DALEK: Doctor. DALEK 2: Doctor. DALEKS: Doctor. [Room] OSWIN: That's weird. Those ones don't usually wake up for anything. DOCTOR [OC]: Yeah, well [Intensive Care] DOCTOR: Special visitor. Okay, door, but it won't open. I can't be far away, though. [Room] OSWIN: Hang on. Not quite sure. There's a release code. Let me just [Intensive care] OSWIN [OC]: Anything out there? DOCTOR: No. [Room] OSWIN: Hang on, I'm trying to think. [Intensive Care] (One Dalek has been disarmed, literally, and chained up.) DALEK: Doctor. (It breaks its chains.) DALEKS: Doctor. Doctor. DOCTOR: Oswin, get this door open. [Room] DOCTOR [OC]: Oswin, open this door! OSWIN: I can't! [Intensive Care] DOCTOR: Oswin. (The Daleks are closing in.) [Room] DOCTOR [OC]: Just get this door open! [Intensive Care] DOCTOR: Oswin! Oswin, please! Get this door open! Help me! (A plunger is heading for the Doctor's face.) DOCTOR: Stop! (The Daleks stop, then turn away.) OSWIN [OC]: Oh, that is cool. [Room] OSWIN: Tell me I'm cool, chin boy. [Intensive Care] DOCTOR: What, what did you do? [Room] OSWIN: Hang on, I think I've found the door thingy. [Intensive Care] DOCTOR: No, tell me what you did. OSWIN [OC]: The Daleks, they have a hive mind. Well, they don't, they have a sort of telepathic web. DOCTOR: The path web, yes. [Room] OSWIN: I hacked into it, did a mass delete [Intensive Care] OSWIN [OC]: On all the information connected with the Doctor. DOCTOR: You made them forget me? [Room] OSWIN: Good, eh? And here comes the door. [Intensive Care] (The door rises.) DOCTOR: I've tried hacking into the path web. Even I couldn't do it. [Room] OSWIN: Come and meet the girl who can. Hey, you're right outside. Come on in. DOCTOR [on screen]: Oswin, we have a problem. OSWIN: No, we don't. Don't even say that. Joined the Alaska to see the universe, ended up stuck in a shipwreck first time out. Rescue me, chin boy, and show me the stars. DOCTOR [on screen]: Does it look real to you? OSWIN: Does what look real? DOCTOR [on screen]: Where you are right now. [Padded cell] DOCTOR: Does it seem real? [Room] OSWIN: It is real. DOCTOR [on screen]: It's a dream, Oswin. You dreamed it for yourself because the truth was too terrible. OSWIN: Where am I? [Padded cell] (A Dalek has chains draped over it.) DALEK: Where am I? Where am I? DOCTOR: Because you are a Dalek. [Room] OSWIN: I am not a [Padded cell] DALEK: Dalek. I am not a Dalek! [Room] OSWIN: I'm human. [Padded cell] DOCTOR: You were human when you crashed here. It was you who climbed out of the pod. That was your ladder. OSWIN [memory]: Where am I? Where am I? Where am I? [Room] OSWIN: You mean? [Padded cell] DALEK: Human. DOCTOR: Not any more. Because you're right. You're a genius. And the Daleks need genius. They didn't just make you a puppet, they did a full conversion. [Room] OSWIN [memory]: Where am I? Where am I? Where am I? DOCTOR [on screen]: Oswin, I am so sorry, but you are a Dalek. The milk, Oswin. The milk and the eggs for the souffléss. Where, where did it all come from? OSWIN [memory]: Eggs. I'm human. I am not a Dalek, I am human. I am not Dalek, I am human! [Padded cell] DALEK: Eggs. DOCTOR: It wasn't real. It was never real. OSWIN [memory]: I am a Dalek. I am a Dalek. OSWIN + DALEK: Eggs. DALEK: Stir. Min. Ate. DOCTOR: Oswin. DALEK: Eggs. [Room] OSWIN: Stir. Min ate. [Padded cell] DALEK: Exterminate. DOCTOR: Oswin. No, no, no, Oswin. Oswin. DALEK: Exterminate! DOCTOR: Listen. Oswin, you don't have to do this. DALEK: Exterminate! [Room] DOCTOR [on screen]: Oswin! (Oswin is crying.) OSWIN: Why do they hate you [Padded cell] DALEK: So much? They hate you so much. Why? DOCTOR: I fought them many, many times. DALEK: We have grown stronger in fear of you. DOCTOR: I know. I tried to stop. [Room] OSWIN: Then run. DOCTOR [on screen]: What did you say? OSWIN: I've taken down the forcefield. [Padded cell] DALEK: The Daleks above have begun their attack. Run! [Room] DOCTOR [on screen]: Oswin, are you OSWIN: I am Oswin Oswald. I fought the Daleks and I am [Padded cell] DALEK: Human! Remember me. DOCTOR: Thank you. DALEK: Run! (The Doctor runs as the bombardment starts.) [Room] OSWIN: Run, you clever boy. And remember. [Teleport room] RORY: How long can we wait? AMY: The rest of our lives. RORY: Agreed. (They kiss as things go bang around them and the Doctor runs in.) DOCTOR: Right, go! Let's go. We're good. Let's go. Oh, for God's sake. (The Doctor takes the control unit from Rory and activates it. Nothing appears to happen. Missiles streak in and the entire planet goes KaBOOM!) [Parliament] WHITE: The Asylum is destroyed. DALEK: Incoming teleport from Asylum planet. We are under attack. WHITE: Prepare to defend. Defend. Defend! DALEK PM: Explain, Dalek Supreme. DOCTOR [OC]: You know, you guys should really have seen this coming. The thing about me and teleports, I've got a really good aim. Pin-point accurate, in fact. Or, to put it another way (The Doctor looks out of the Tardis door.) DOCTOR: Suckers! DALEK: Identify yourself. Identify. Identify. DOCTOR: It's me. You know me. The Doctor. The Oncoming Storm. The Predator. DARLA: Titles are not meaningful in this context. Doctor who? DALEK PM: Doctor who? DALEKS: Doctor who? DOCTOR: Oh, Oswin. Oh, you did it to them all. You beauty. DALEKS: Doctor who? Doctor who? DOCTOR: Fellas, you're never going to stop asking. (He shuts the door and the Tardis dematerialises.) DALEKS: Doctor who? [Street] (Amy and Rory wave goodbye as the Tardis dematerialises, then she goes indoors.) RORY: Yes! Yes! AMY [OC]: I can see you. RORY: Okay. [Tardis] (The Doctor dances as he sets the controls.) DOCTOR: Doctor who. Doctor who. Doctor Who! [Egypt, 1334 B.C.] (The Doctor rushes to the Tardis.) DOCTOR: Bye, then. Lovely meeting you. Sorry about the mess. (He is restrained by an elegant woman in a sheer gown and tall blue headdress, who pushes him up against the Tardis door and strokes his hair.) NEFERTITI: You think I'll just let you leave without me, after what we've just been through? (She looks remarkably like her limestone bust.) DOCTOR: You've got the Egyptian people to rule, Queen Nefertiti. They'll need reassuring after that weapon-bearing giant alien locust attack we just stopped rather brilliantly. (Something parps, making her jump and him escape from her embrace. It is his mobile phone text alert.) DOCTOR: Oh dear, sorry. I've got it set to Temporal News For You. That's interesting. NEFERTITI: What is? DOCTOR: Nothing. Not interesting. Not at all. Ooo, never been there. Exciting! I'm off! (They go inside the Tardis.) DOCTOR [OC]: Coming! (The Tardis zooms upwards.) [Indian Space Agency 2367 A.D.] INDIRA: Craft size approximately ten million square kilometres. DOCTOR: A ship the size of Canada coming at Earth very fast. Any signs of life? INDIRA: We sent up a drone craft. It took these readings. (Nefertiti is there, too. The incoming spaceship is a central mass with lots of big pods extending out of it.) DOCTOR: Crikey, Charlie, look at that. Ooo, I know someone who'd love to have a look at that. And the Ponds. Mustn't forget the Ponds, Neffy. Haven't seen them in ages. I'm riffing. People usually stop me when I'm riffing or carry on without me. That's also an option. NEFERTITI: Can you communicate with this craft? DOCTOR: She's with me. Good question, Neffy. INDIRA: No. No response on any channel, in any recognised language. If it comes within ten thousand kilometres of Earth, we send up missiles. DOCTOR: Oh, Indira, I liked you before you said missiles. How long till the ship gets that close? INDIRA: Six hours nineteen minutes. DOCTOR: Right. Better get a shift on, then. Leave it with us. Come on, Neffy. We're going to need help. [African Plains 1902 A.D.] (By a tent, at night.) DOCTOR: More stew? RIDDELL: Where've you been, man? Seven months. You said you were popping out for some liquorice. I had two very disappointed dancers on my hands. Not that I couldn't manage. DOCTOR: Riddell, listen. I've found, well, something. RIDDELL: No, no, no, no, no. I shan't fall for that again. What is it? DOCTOR: I've no idea. Do you want to find out? [Amy and Rory's home] (An older man is up a stepladder being held by Rory and Amy, seeing to a ceiling light fitting.) BRIAN: I think it's the fitting. RORY: Dad, it's not the fitting. It just needs a new bulb. BRIAN: You're wobbling the ladder. RORY: I'm not. I don't want another loft incident. AMY: How's my side, Brian? BRIAN: Perfect, as ever, Amy. AMY: Thank you, Brian. BRIAN: I don't know what he said to you to make you marry him, but he's a lucky man. (The sound of an arriving Tardis, and papers blowing.) RORY: (sotto) Not here, not now. BRIAN: You leave the back door open? RORY: What is he doing? AMY: I'm going to kill him. (The Tardis materialises around them.) [Tardis] DOCTOR: Hello! You weren't busy, were you? Well, even if you were, it wasn't as interesting as this probably is. Didn't want you to miss it. Now, just a quick hop. (The Tardis zooms to the impossibly large spaceship. Brian is still standing on the stepladder.) DOCTOR: Everybody grab a torch. (Brian drops the light bulb.) [Open area] (Dark and dusty, with cobwebs. No obvious indication of usage, the whole place is just big open-plan.) DOCTOR: Spiders. Don't normally get spiders in space. (Brian is last out of the Tardis.) BRIAN: What the? DOCTOR: Don't move! Do you really think I'm that stupid I wouldn't notice? How did you get aboard, eh? Transmat? Who sent you? RORY: Doctor. That's my dad. DOCTOR: Well frankly, that's outrageous. RORY: What? DOCTOR: You think you can just bring your dad along without asking? I'm not a taxi service, you know. RORY: You materialised around us. DOCTOR: Oh. Well, that's fine, then. My mistake. Hello, Brian. How are you? Nice to meet you. Welcome, welcome. This is the gang. I've got a gang. Yes. Come on then, everyone. AMY: Tell him something, quick. RORY: Yes, thank you! BRIAN: I'm not entirely sure what's going on. RORY: You know when Amy and I first got married and we went travelling BRIAN: To Thailand. RORY: More the entirety of space and time. In that police box. (Something shakes the spaceship.) AMY: All right, where are we? What is that noise and hello, ten months? DOCTOR: Well, I sense it's orbiting. More like pre-crashing. On a spaceship, don't know, and hello, Pond. Ten months. Time flies. Never really understood that phrase. This is Neffy, this is Riddell. They're with me. RIDDELL: Charmed. AMY: With you? They're with you? Are they the new us? Is that why we haven't seen you? DOCTOR: No. They're just people. They're not Ponds. I thought we might need a new gang. Not really had a gang before. It's new. (At the far end of this hold is a big bulkhead door. Red lights come on either side of it.) DOCTOR: It's coming down. RIDDELL: What is it? DOCTOR: No idea. (It is a cargo lift, and it arrives with a thump. The doors open to reveal two large armoured creatures backlight by a very bright light.) BRIAN: Not possible. DOCTOR: Run! (The gang run away, except the Doctor.) AMY: Doctor! DOCTOR: I know. Dinosaurs! On a spaceship! (Amy grabs the Doctor and pulls him away from the ankylosaurs.) NEFERTITI: In here! (They hide in a sort of alcove. The annoyed armoured beasts stop nearby. Riddell gets out a knife.) RIDDELL: I could take one of them. Short blow up into the throat. DOCTOR: Or not. We've just found dinosaurs in space. We need to preserve them. RIDDELL: Who's going to preserve us? AMY: Shush. (The ankylosaurs move on.) RORY: Okay, so, how and whose ship? [Spaceship bridge] (A display has the gang on it, with the warning Intruders Detected.) DOCTOR: [on screen]: Well, there's so much to discover. Think how wise we'll be by the end of all this. [Open area] BRIAN: Sorry, sorry. Are you saying dinosaurs are flying a spaceship? DOCTOR: Brian, please, that would be ridiculous. They're probably just passengers. Did I mention missiles? BRIAN: Missiles? DOCTOR: Didn't want to worry you. Anyway, six hours is a lifetime. Not literally a lifetime. That's what we're trying to avoid. And we're all really clever. Ooo, let's see what we can find out. Come on. (The Doctor removes a cobweb from a blank monitor. Amy examines gouges in the walls.) AMY: How many dinosaurs do you think are on here? (The Doctor sonics the monitor into life.) DOCTOR: Oh, well done, whoever you are. Looking for engines. Thank you, computer. Look at that. Different sections have engines, but these look like the primary clusters. Where are we now, computer? We need to get down to these engines. (The Doctor, Brian and Rory are teleported away.) NEFERTITI: What happened? AMY: Oh, great. [Engine room] (Cleverly disguised as a beach in cold weather with a fair old wind blowing. Who wrote this, Douglas Adams?) DOCTOR: Find out. What? BRIAN: We're outside. We're on a beach. DOCTOR: Teleport. Oh, I hate teleports. Must have activated on my voice. BRIAN: Ah, yes, well, thank you, Arthur C Clarke. Teleport, obviously. I mean, we're on a spaceship with dinosaurs. Why wouldn't there be a teleport? In fact, why don't we just teleport now? DOCTOR: Is he all right? RORY: No, he hates travelling. Makes him really anxious. He only goes to the paper shop and golf. DOCTOR: What did you bring him for? RORY: I didn't! Why can't you just phone ahead like any normal person? BRIAN: Somebody tell me where we are, now. (The Doctor tastes the air.) DOCTOR: Well, it's not Earth. Doesn't taste right. Too metallic. BRIAN: Is that a kestrel? DOCTOR: I do hope so. RORY: The beach is humming. DOCTOR: Is it? Oh yes. Right, well, don't just stand there, you two. Dig. I'm going to look at rocks. Love a rock. RORY: Dig with what? BRIAN: Ah, well. (Brian produces a trowel and starts digging in the sand.) RORY: Did you just have that on you? BRIAN: Of course. What sort of man doesn't carry a trowel? Put it on your Christmas list. RORY: Dad, I'm thirty one. I don't have a Christmas list any more. DOCTOR: I do! (Brian reaches metal.) BRIAN: There's a floor under this beach. [Small spaceship] RORY [on monitor]: Doctor! Doctor! (An ailing old man is watching from his sickbed. This area is different tech from where the Doctor and his gang are.) SOLOMON: Do you hear that? Did you hear what he called him? Doctor. After all this time. Bring them to me. RORY [on monitor]: Doctor! [Open area] (Nefertiti leads the way.) RIDDELL: There's clearly more than just two of these creatures. (He takes a pull from his hip flask.) AMY: Hey, put that away. I need you sober. RIDDELL: It's medicinal. And I don't take orders from females. NEFERTITI: Then learn. Any man who speaks to me that way, I execute. RIDDELL: You're very welcome to try. AMY: Sorry, what was your name again? NEFERTITI: Lady of the Two Lands, wife of the great King Amenhotep, Queen Nefertiti of Egypt. RIDDELL: I'll be damned. AMY: Oh, my god. Queen Nefertiti? I learned all about you at school. You're awesome. Big fan. High five. Yeah, bit behind on that. You're really famous. RIDDELL: Shush. Listen. (Something is breathing heavily nearby. Very nearby. They are standing next to a six foot long carnivore lying on its side. There are eggs nearby.) AMY: Okay. At a guess, T Rex, not yet full size. We're in the middle of a dinosaur nest. RIDDELL: I propose a retreat. (An ominious shadow on the wall.) RIDDELL: Perhaps forwards. AMY: Agreed. Just don't wake the baby. (Riddell has to step over it.) AMY: Oh, my god. Who are you, anyway? RIDDELL: John Riddell, big game hunter on the African plains. I'm sure you've heard of me, too. AMY: No. RIDDELL: You clearly have some alarming gaps in your education. AMY: Or men who hunt defenceless creatures just don't impact on history. Face it, she's way cooler than you. NEFERTITI: And you, Amy. Are you also a Queen? AMY: Yes. Yes, I am. [Engine room] (The Doctor has found another computer access point in the nearby cliff face.) DOCTOR: See? Metal floors, screens in rocks. It was just a matter of a short range teleport. We're still on the ship. BRIAN: No, we're outside on a beach. RORY: It's part of the ship, Dad. BRIAN: Don't be ridiculous. DOCTOR: Well, it is quite ridiculous. Also brilliant. That's why the system teleported us here. I wanted the engines. This is the engine room! Hydrogenerators! Ha! BRIAN: I have literally no idea what he's saying. RORY: A spaceship powered by waves. DOCTOR: Fabulously impossible. Oh, think of the things we could learn from this ship if we manage to stop it being blown to pieces. RORY: Plus not dying. DOCTOR: Bad news, can't shut the wave system down in time. Takes, takes way too long. RORY: If these are the engines, there must be a control room. DOCTOR: Exactly. That's what we need to find. Now, what do we do about the things that aren't kestrals? BRIAN: Oh my lord. Are those pterodactyls? DOCTOR: Yes. On any other occasion, I'd be thrilled. Exposed on a beach, less thrilled. We should be going. BRIAN: Where? DOCTOR: Er, definitely away from them. RORY: That's the plan? DOCTOR: That's the plan. Amendments welcome. Move away from the pterodactyls. RORY: I think they might be noticing. DOCTOR: Amendment one, run! RORY: Why don't we just teleport or something? DOCTOR: No! Local teleport burnt out on arrival. There's something in the cliffs over there. RORY: Come on! BRIAN: I'm trying! (The pterodactyls start snapping at the men as they reach a cave entrance in the cliffs.) [Cave] (Rory has been hurt in the right shoulder.) BRIAN: Are you all right? RORY: Yeah, I'm fine. Right, what do we do now? There's no way back out there. DOCTOR: Through the cave. Come on. (Noises ahead.) DOCTOR: That suggestion was a work in progress. BRIAN: We're trapped. DOCTOR: Yes, thanks for spelling it out. RORY: Doctor, whatever's down there is coming this way. DOCTOR: Spelling it out is hereditary. Wonderful. BRIAN: That sound's getting nearer. (Something big, heavy and slow. Two of them, and they are mechanical.) ROBOT 1: We're very cross with you. [Laboratory] (Based on the glassware and various stuff underneath the ivy and cobwebs.) AMY: Bit of weed killer wouldn't go amiss in here. RIDDELL: Whoever was running this vessel left in a hurry. NEFERTITI: Maybe a plague came and took them. RIDDELL: No, there'd be corpses and bones. NEFERTITI: Unless the animals ate them. AMY: Whoa, Chuckle Brothers. Lighten up, would you? (Amy tries a computer keyboard. The lights come on.) NEFERTITI: How'd you know how to do that? AMY: Well, I've spent enough time with the Doctor to know whenever you enter somewhere new, press buttons. NEFERTITI: What else have you learned from him? AMY: Don't stop at button pressing. (She inserts a disc into the computer.) BLEYTAL [OC]: One hundred and seventeen years. AMY: Data records. RIDDELL: The ship's owners? AMY: Could be. Come on. Help us out. BLEYTAL [OC]: Mainly cryogenic. (Riddell sees a Tyrannosaurus Rex shadow on the corridor wall behind them, then it leaves.) BLEYTAL [OC]: I will continue to work AMY: How about a picture, huh? Come on, for me. BLEYTAL [OC]: Far beyond our NEFERTITI: Look. Oh, it's beautiful. BLEYTAL [on screen]: I can't tell how far we have come. Far enough to avoid the destructive impact forecast for our planet. Far enough for me to feel a profound sense of loss. RIDDELL: What is that? AMY: Silurian. [Passageway] ROBOT 1: You're going straight on the naughty step. BRIAN: What's the escape plan? DOCTOR: Why do we want to escape? BRIAN: They have us hostage. RORY: They're taking us somewhere. We might learn from it. (The Doctor tweaks Rory's cheek.) DOCTOR: Oh, you see? He's so clever. I've missed you, Rory. RORY: Don't do that. BRIAN: What if they kill us? DOCTOR: They wouldn't do that. You're not going to kill us, are you, Rusty? ROBOT 1: Who are you calling Rusty? DOCTOR: Have you seen yourselves lately? ROBOT 1: You try being on this ship for two millennia. See how your paintwork does. ROBOT 2: Don't listen to him. He's just being mean because we captured him. BRIAN: Oh, my goodness. RORY: Whoa! DOCTOR: Ooo! (A three horned herbivore approaches.) DOCTOR: Herbivore. Don't panic. Triceratops. Ha! Beautiful. ROBOT 2: Shall I shoot it? ROBOT 1: We're not supposed to shoot the creatures, stupid. ROBOT 2: Stop calling me stupid. DOCTOR: Roar yourself. Hello, cutie. Good boy. Who's a lovely Tricy then? Yes, you are. Yes, you are. BRIAN: What do I do? What do I do? (The Triceratops sniffs Brian's delicate parts.) BRIAN: What're you doing? What're you doing? DOCTOR: You don't have any vegetable matter in your trousers, do you, Brian? BRIAN: Only my balls. DOCTOR: I'm sorry? BRIAN: Golf balls. Grassy residue. RORY: What are you carrying those around for? (The Triceratops licks Brian's face.) BRIAN: Urgh. DOCTOR: Oh, bless. BRIAN: Get it away from me. DOCTOR: Throw one. BRIAN: Really? Is this what you want? Is it? (Brian throws a golf ball, and the Triceratops goes after it.) DOCTOR: And breath out. Right, take us to your leader. RORY: Really? DOCTOR: Too good to resist. [Laboratory] BLEYTAL [on screen]: Of the fifty species loaded, only one has had any difficulty surviving. All the others are thriving, and we expect them to be able to repopulate. AMY: We're on an Ark. A Silurian Ark. RIDDELL: Lizard people herding dinosaurs onto a Space Ark? Absolute tommyrot. NEFERTITI: Only an idiot denies the evidence of their own eyes. RIDDELL: Egyptian Queen or not, I shall put you across my knee and spank you. AMY: Oh lord. NEFERTITI: Try, and I'll snap your neck in a heartbeat. RIDDELL: They certainly bred firecrackers in your time. AMY: Oh, no, no, please don't start flirting. I will not have flirting companions. NEFERTITI: If the Doctor trusts Amy, so do I. Stop doubting her. RIDDELL: If this ship was built by AMY: Silurians, yeah. RIDDELL: Where are they? AMY: That's a surprisingly good question. Display life signs for Homo Reptilia. (No Life Signs Detected.) AMY: But where have they gone? NEFERTITI: Perhaps they found another world, left the ship. AMY: Why are the dinosaurs still on board, and why is the ship coming back to Earth? It doesn't make sense. What's changed between then and now? Wait. Computer, show me the ship at launch with all life signals. Now show me the ship today with all life signals. Thousands less. But why? Show me both images, then and now, side by side. RIDDELL: What are you looking for? AMY: Okay, two images. Spot the difference. What changed? What happened to the Silurians? NEFERTITI: The centre. AMY: Computer, zoom in to the centre. Hold on. RIDDELL: What is it? AMY: Another spacecraft. This ship's been boarded before. [Small spaceship] (Piano music by Franz Schubert is playing nearby.) DOCTOR: Love what you've done to the place down here. SOLOMON [OC]: Let him in. Open the gate. (Only the Doctor is let through.) DOCTOR: It's fine. It's fine. ROBOT 1: He's not interested in you. RORY: Look, you need to learn some manners. ROBOT 1: No, you need to learn some manners. RORY: No, you do. ROBOT 2: No, you do, Mister Manners. (Solomon is apparently on life-support.) DOCTOR: Fantasia in F minor for four hands. SOLOMON: You know it. DOCTOR: Know it? Say hello to hands three and four. Schubert kept tickling me to try to put me off. Franz the hands. Oh, that takes me back. Well, this is cosy. SOLOMON: It's fate you came. DOCTOR: Is it? I'm the Doctor. SOLOMON: Yes, I know. I'm Solomon. (A laser does a quick scan.) DOCTOR: What's that? SOLOMON: System malfunction. Ignore it. DOCTOR: What happened to you? SOLOMON: I was attacked. Three raptors. They cornered me. The robots rescued me but it was nearly too late. DOCTOR: Ah yes, the robots. They're unusual. SOLOMON: I got them cheap from a concession on Alyria Seven. The robots did as best they could with my legs, but you can help me so much more. DOCTOR: Oh. A doctor doctor. I see. Let's have a look. SOLOMON: They chewed through part of the bone in my legs. DOCTOR: Yes. Very nasty. SOLOMON: But you can repair them. DOCTOR: If you tell me how you came by so many dinosaurs. SOLOMON: Injure the older one. DOCTOR: What? (A robot shoots Brian in the left shoulder.) RORY: Dad! Dad! It's all right, Dad. It's okay. DOCTOR: I don't respond well to violent, Solomon. SOLOMON: And I don't like questions, Doctor. You boarded without my permission. Now, fix me, or the next bolt will be fatal. RORY: I will take you apart cog by cog and melt you down when all this is over. ROBOT 1: Oh, I'm so scared. Actually, I might be. A little bit of oil just came out. RORY: Now, stay still. It's just a burn, it's nothing serious. BRIAN: What's that? RORY: You carry a trowel, I carry a med-pack. It's all about the pockets in our family. This is an ice patch. It cools the skin. BRIAN: Never seen one of those. RORY: I pick up cool stuff wherever we go. For some people it's cars and hardware, for me it is nursing supplies. Now, painkiller. This won't hurt. BRIAN: Ow. RORY: I lied. It won't hurt from now on, though. All right, you're done. BRIAN: Thanks. RORY: It's all right. You get to see my awesome nursing skills in action for once. (Rory's phone rings.) ROBOT 1: What's that? BRIAN: Your phone's ringing. In space. RORY: You get used to it. I have to take this. The wife. Hello, missus. [Laboratory] AMY: Where are you. [Small spaceship] RORY: Still on board. Met some pterodactyls and some rusty robots I'm going to melt down. [Laboratory] AMY: Rory, this is a Silurian ship. [Small spaceship] (The Doctor is working on Solomon's legs.) SOLOMON: How did you get on board, Doctor? DOCTOR: Oh, I never talk about myself with a gun pointed at me. Let's talk about you. Your cosy little craft embedded in a vast old ship. SOLOMON: You're very observant. DOCTOR: I'm a Sagittarius, probably. SOLOMON: I'm transporting it to the Roxborne Peninsula. DOCTOR: A commerce colony. You're a trader. SOLOMON: I search out opportunities for profit across nine galaxies. DOCTOR: Ah, the purple light. That's what it was. An IV system, identifying value. The database of everything across space and time allocated a market value. Argos for the universe. You were trying to find out how much I'm worth. SOLOMON: Would you like to know? (No Identification Found.) SOLOMON: You don't exist. It's never done that. DOCTOR: That's me. Worthless. Unlike these creatures you have on board. Very valuable, given they're extinct. Done. Sit up, very slowly. RORY: Doctor? Amy. DOCTOR: I need to take this. (The Doctor takes Rory's phone.) DOCTOR: Amy. [Laboratory] AMY: This is an Ark built by the Silurians. They were looking for another planet. [Small spaceship] DOCTOR: Where are they now? [Laboratory] AMY: None on board. I mean, thousands of stasis pods, all empty. [Small spaceship] DOCTOR: I'll see you soon. (He returns the phone to Rory.) DOCTOR: (sotto) Be ready. SOLOMON: The pain in my legs is gone. I can move them. Thank you, Doctor. DOCTOR: What did you do to the Silurians? SOLOMON: We ejected them. The robots woke them from cryosleep a handful at a time and jettisoned them from the airlocks. We must have left a trail of dust and bone. DOCTOR: Because you wanted the dinosaurs. SOLOMON: Their ship crossed my path. I sent out a distress signal, they let me board, and when I saw the cargo things became more complex. DOCTOR: Piracy and then genocide. SOLOMON: Very emotive words, Doctor. DOCTOR: Oh, I'm a very emotive man. SOLOMON: The lizards wouldn't negotiate. I made them a generous offer. DOCTOR: The creatures on board this ship are not objects to be sold or traded. SOLOMON: I feel like you're judging me. DOCTOR: You said Roxborne Peninsula, so why are you heading to Earth? You're on the wrong course. Oh, you don't know how. Brilliant. You couldn't change the pre-programmed course without instructions. The ship defaulted, returned home. Oh dear. The Silurians outwitted you even after you'd massacred them, so now you're a prisoner on the ship you hijacked. SOLOMON: Not now you're here. You going to help me go wherever I want to go, Doctor. DOCTOR: Little bit of news, Solomon. You're being targeted by missiles. Get off this ship while you still can. SOLOMON: You think I believe that? You just want them for yourself. You won't profit from me, Doctor. DOCTOR: Don't ever judge me by your standards. (The gate opens to let the Doctor out.) DOCTOR: Well, don't just stand there, Rory. (to robots) Hey, he wants to see you. RORY: Dad, up! [Passageway] (The Triceratops is a little way away.) BRIAN: What are we doing? DOCTOR: Just do exactly as I do. RORY: Doctor, no! DOCTOR: Geronimo! (The Doctor leaps onto the Triceratops' back.) [Small spaceship] ROBOT 2: Did you call? SOLOMON: What are you doing? Stop them! ROBOT 1: All right, don't shout. SOLOMON: Useless machines. [Passageway] (With all three men on its back -) DOCTOR: Go, Tricy. Run like the wind! (It doesn't move, even when laser bolts whiz past.) ROBOT 1 [OC]: After them. DOCTOR: Quick, how do you start a Triceratops? ROBOT 1: There they are. ROBOT 2: I know, I saw them before you. BRIAN: Tricy, fetch. (Brian bounces his other golf ball off its nose, and the creature lumbers away.) DOCTOR: Go, Tricy. ROBOT 1: They've stolen a dinosaur. ROBOT 2: I can see that. DOCTOR: Come on, Tricy, faster, baby! ROBOT 1: They're turning off. We're losing them. ROBOT 2: Which way did they go? ROBOT 1: I thought you were looking. ROBOT 2: No. Now they've got away. ROBOT 1: We definitely used to be faster. BRIAN: I'm riding a dinosaur on a spaceship. DOCTOR: I know! BRIAN: I only came round to fix your light. DOCTOR: Come on, Tricy. Where are the brakes? (The Triceratops skids to a halt and they fall off. It picks up the golf ball and returns it to its owner, then lumbers off for a rest in the corner.) DOCTOR: Good. That worked. Okay. Er, where are we now? Ooo, incoming message from Earth. Hello, Earth, how's things? INDIRA [on screen]: Doctor, the ship's coming through the atmosphere. I have to start the missile programme. DOCTOR: No. No, no, no, don't do that. Everything's completely under control here. Turning round any moment. Need a bit of wriggle room on the timings. INDIRA [on screen]: I can't do that. DOCTOR: You can. Of course you can. Tiny bit more time, Indira, please. This ship contains the most precious cargo. INDIRA [on screen]: My only responsibility is the Earth's safety. I'm launching the missiles. Goodbye, Doctor. DOCTOR: No, Indira. Hey! Come back! Please! [Indian Space Agency] COMPUTER]: Target identified. Navigation systems locking on to target. Missile launch procedure initiated. Estimated impact, thirty minutes. [Laboratory] RIDDELL: Now, these are what we need. Dinosaur protection. (Rifles in a cupboard.) AMY: No weapons. (He hands her a box.) AMY: Anaesthetic? These are stun guns. You're almost clever. RIDDELL: Enough to make a dinosaur take a nap. Even the Doctor couldn't object to that. NEFERTITI: You and the Doctor, are you his Queen? AMY: No, I'm Rory's Queen. Wife. Wife. I am his wife. Please don't tell him I said I was his Queen. I'll never hear the end of it. NEFERTITI: And the Doctor, does he have a Queen? AMY: I thought you had a husband? NEFERTITI: The male equivalent of a sleeping potion. RIDDELL: You clearly need a man of action and excitement. One with a very large weapon. AMY: So, human sleeping potion or walking innuendo. Take your pick. DOCTOR [on screen]: That's very bad indeed. Completely unhelpful. RORY [on screen]: Doesn't the ship have any defence systems installed? [Open area] DOCTOR: Good thinking, Rory. (The Doctor kisses Rory full on the mouth.) DOCTOR: Computer, show us weapons and defence systems. (No Systems Available) DOCTOR: Oh, well, that was a waste of time, wasn't it? Getting my hopes up like that. RORY: What ship doesn't have weapons? DOCTOR: Ah, they're ancient species, Rory. Still full of hope. BRIAN: What about the control deck? You said we should go to the control deck next. DOCTOR: It's too late. It won't make any difference. RORY: We could at least try. DOCTOR: It won't work, Rory. The missiles are locked on. RORY: So what, we're just giving up? DOCTOR: I don't know. I don't know. (Bright flash. The Robots and Solomon have teleported in. Solomon is leaning heavily on a pair of metal crutches.) SOLOMON: You were telling the truth, Doctor. Earth has launched missiles. This vessel is too clumsy to outrun them, but I have my own ship. DOCTOR: You won't get your precious cargo on board, though. Just be you and your metal tantrum machines. ROBOT 1: We do not have tantrums! SOLOMON: Shut up. You're right, Doctor. I can't keep the dinosaurs and live myself. But I had the IV system scan the entire ship, and it found something even more valuable. Utterly unique. I don't know where you found it, or how you got it here, but I want it. DOCTOR: I don't know what you're talking about. SOLOMON: Earth Queen Nefertiti of Egypt. [Laboratory] SOLOMON [OC]: A face stamped across history. [Open area] SOLOMON: Give her to me, and I'll let the rest of you live. DOCTOR: No. SOLOMON: You think I won't punish those who get in my way, whatever they're worth? (The robots shoot the Triceratops. The Doctor strokes it as it dies, then applauds.) DOCTOR: You must be very proud. SOLOMON: Bring her to me, or the robots will make their way through your corpses. Bring her now. DOCTOR: No. (Flash! Amy, Riddell and Nefertiti are beamed in.) DOCTOR: What are you doing? NEFERTITI: I demanded to be brought here. DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no way. NEFERTITI: It isn't your choice, Doctor, it's mine. DOCTOR: Listen to me. If you go with him, I can't guarantee your safety. NEFERTITI: You saved my people. I am in your debt. DOCTOR: No. No debts. You don't owe me anything. NEFERTITI: Then I do it on my own. DOCTOR: No, Neffy, Neffy. RIDDELL: No! Take her and I shoot you. NEFETITI: Put your weapon down. Let me make my choice. SOLOMON: Do it, boy. (Riddell lowers his rifle.) SOLOMON: My bounty increases. And what an extraordinary bounty you are. NEFERTITI: Never touch me. SOLOMON: I like my possessions to have spirit. It means I can have fun breaking them. And I will break you in with immense pleasure. Thank you, Doctor. Computer, take us back to my ship. (Flash and away go Solomon, Nefertiti and the robots.) COMPUTER: Hostile targeting in progress. Hostile targeting in progress. Hostile targeting in progress. Hostile targeting in progress. DOCTOR: Bingo. RORY: What is it? Doctor. [Control deck] (The Doctor and his remaining gang teleport in.) DOCTOR: Okay, control deck. RORY: So, what's the plan? DOCTOR: Come on. The missiles are locked onto us. We can't out-run them. We have to save the dinosaurs and get Nefertiti back from Solomon. Isn't it obvious? RORY: It's sort of the opposite of obvious. DOCTOR: Seventeen minutes before the missiles hit. We need to turn this ship around. RORY: You said it was too late. That there wasn't any time. DOCTOR: Ah, yes, but I didn't have this plan then, did I? Riddell? Keep an eye out for dinosaurs. RIDDELL: I was rather hoping you'd say that. DOCTOR: No killing any. Rory, Brian, get rid of the cobwebs. [Small spaceship] (The engines are running.) SOLOMON: Come on, come on, we're not moving. He's magnetised us. We can't move away. [Outside the control deck] (A velociraptor appears.) RIDDELL: Come on, boy. I'll get you. (And calls to the rest of its pack.) RIDDELL: Hell's teeth, that's really not fair. [Indian Space Agency] COMPUTER: Missile target will be reached in eleven minutes. [Control deck] DOCTOR: No, don't be like that. Really unhelpful. AMY: What's the matter? DOCTOR: Parallel pilot compartments, both configured. Needs two operator of the same gene-chain. And that's why Solomon couldn't change the ship's course and neither can we. (Brian raises his hand.) DOCTOR: What? BRIAN: We can. Me and Rory. We must be the same gene-thingy you said. DOCTOR: Brian Pond, you are delicious. BRIAN: I'm not a Pond. DOCTOR: Course you are. Sit down, both of you, licketty split. The ship does all the engineering. The controls are straight forward. Even a monkey use them. Oh look, they're going to. Guys, come on. Comedy gold. Where's a Silurian audience when you need one. Anyway, two eye line screens. Velocity and trajectories. Steer away from the Earth. Try not to bump into the moon otherwise the races who live there will be livid. BRIAN: What? DOCTOR: Primary controls in the arms of the chairs. Principle's the same as any vehicle. Eight minutes forty five seconds. (The Doctor sonics the pilot chairs into life.) DOCTOR: Get us as far away as you can. Right, phase two sorted. Now for phase one. AMY: Oh no, phase two comes after phase one. DOCTOR: Humans, you are so linear. Shine the torch in here. AMY: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Mixing my messages. How's the job? AMY: We're about to be hit by missiles and you're asking me that? DOCTOR: I work best when I'm multitasking. Keep talking. How's the job? AMY: I gave it up. DOCTOR: You gave the last one up. AMY: Yeah, well, I can't settle. Every minute I'm listening out for that stupid Tardis sound. DOCTOR: Right, so it's my fault now, is it? AMY: I can't not wait for you, even now. And they're getting longer, you know, the gaps between your visits. I think you're weaning us off you. DOCTOR: I'm not, I promise. Really promise. The others, yeah, but not you. Rory and you, you have lives, have each other. I thought that's what we agreed. AMY: I know. I just worry there'll come a time when you never turn up. That something will have happened to you and I'll still be waiting, never knowing. DOCTOR: No, come on, Pond. You'll be there till the end of me. AMY: Or vice versa. DOCTOR: Don't. RIDDELL: Doctor? This is a two man job. (Amy gets the other stun gun.) RIDDELL: What are you doing? AMY: I'm easily worth two men. You can help too, if you like. (The Doctor extracts a beeping gubbins from inside the machine.) AMY: Doctor, what are you going to do (The Doctor is teleported away.) [Outside the control deck] RIDDELL: Quickens the blood, doesn't it? AMY: The sooner this lot go back to being extinct, the better. RIDDELL: You know what I want more than anything? AMY: Lessons in gender politics? RIDDELL: A dinosaur tooth to take home. Dinosaurs ahead, a lady at my side, about to be blown up. I'm sure I've never been happier. AMY: Shut up and shoot. (They do.) RIDDELL: Duck! [Control deck] BRIAN: I'm flying a spaceship. Rory! RORY: Hmm? BRIAN: We're flying a spaceship. RORY: I know. [Indian Space Agency] ISA WORKER: Ship's trajectory is changing. INDIRA: It makes no difference. The missiles have locked on. How long till target? ISA WORKER: Seven minutes. [Control deck] BRIAN: Here we go! That's it, that's it. That's it, that's it. Me, me, me. Yes, yes. It's better than golf. [Small spaceship] DOCTOR: Hello! Having trouble leaving? (The Doctor shorts out the robots with spare power cables.) ROBOTS: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do. (And stop working.) DOCTOR: Ship's still magnetised. Just couldn't bear to lose you. SOLOMON: Release my ship, Doctor, or I kill this precious little object. (Nefertiti kicks his crutch and Solomon falls over. She grabs the crutch and puts the point at his throat.) NEFERTITI: I am not your possession now, nor will I ever be. Now, stay there. DOCTOR: Don't mess with Egyptian Queens, Solomon. I hope you've learnt that now. SOLOMON: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Disabling this ship's signal and replacing it with the one from the Silurian ship. I send this craft off emitting the signal they're looking for, the missiles will follow. Hopefully, Siliurian ship safe, dinosaurs safe, everybody safe. Bit tight for time, though. Shouldn't really be chatting. Neffy, let's go. How remiss of me. Almost forgot. The thing about missiles, very literal. This is what they latch on to. (The gubbins from the machine.) DOCTOR: Now, one press of this and the ship's demagnetised. SOLOMON: Doctor, whatever you want, I can get it for you. Whatever object you desire. DOCTOR: Did the Silurians beg you to stop? Look, Solomon. The missiles. See them shine? See how valuable they are. And they're all yours. SOLOMON: You wouldn't leave me, Doctor. (The Doctor closes the gate to the main compartment.) DOCTOR: Enjoy your bounty. (The Doctor leaves.) SOLOMON: Doctor! (The little ship whooshes off into space. The missiles corner quickly and follow.) SOLOMON: Doctor! (KaBOOM! because he didn't even try to jettison the beacon... Outside the Control deck, Amy and Riddell are surrounded by snoring velociraptors.) [Open area] DOCTOR: So, dinosaur drop off time. RORY: Actually, we think home for us. DOCTOR: Oh. Fine. Of course. AMY: Not for ever, just a couple of months. DOCTOR: Right. Yes. I'm pretty busy anyway. I mean, I've got to drop everyone back. BRIAN: About that. Can I ask a favour? There's something I want to see. (The Tardis hangs in space above the beautiful blue dot we call home. Brian sits in the open doorway with a mug of tea and a sandwich. Back in Africa, Nefertiti comes out of Riddell's tent with rifle, and loads it.) [Amy and Rory's home] (Rory is trying to fit a long life light bulb into the ceiling socket when Amy comes in with the post.) AMY: More postcards from your dad. RORY: Do you know what? I think it is the fitting. (Amy pins the latest I Am Here postcard up. Rio de Janeiro, Pisa, Taj Mahal, Machu Picchu, New York, and now - Siluria! with dinosaurs next to the Tardis.) WOMAN [OC]: When I was a child, my favourite story was about a man who lived forever, but whose eyes were heavy with the weight of all he'd seen. A man who fell from the stars. [Desert] (Night. A small satellite arrives, and its observer gets the instruction 'Terminate'. So he does.) MAS: I knew you'd find me eventually. (Kahler-Mas. Terminate.) GUNSLINGER: Make peace with your gods. MAS: Once they were your gods, too. GUNSLINGER: Not any more. (The man turns his back and reaches for his space weapon. The Gunslinger shoots him. We now see that he is a Cyborg with a cybernetic eye, a gun arm - literally - and a penchant for gunslinger clothes.) MAN: Am I, am I the last one? GUNSLINGER: There's one more. The Doctor. [Mercy] (The Old West of the USA. The Doctor stands just outside the entrance to Main Street, in front of a wooden frame with a cattle skull on it, a Keep Out sign and the residents count recently changed from 80 to 81.) DOCTOR: Mercy. Eighty one residents. (Now we see he is not alone.) AMY: Look at this. It's a load of stones and lumps of wood. What is it? DOCTOR: A load of stones and lumps of wood. (The Gunslinger is watching from a distance.) RORY: The sign does say Keep Out. DOCTOR: I see Keep Out signs as suggestions more than actual orders, like Dry Clean only. (They step over the load of stones and lumps of wood that circle the town and head down the street, towards the Grand Central Bank. The residents watch silently. An electric street lamp outside the Post Office sparks.) DOCTOR: That's not right. RORY: It's a street lamp. DOCTOR: An electric street lamp about ten years too early. RORY: It's only a few years out. DOCTOR: That's what you said when you left your phone charger in Henry the Eighth's en-suite. AMY: Doctor, er DOCTOR: Anachronistic electricity, Keep Out signs, aggressive stares. Has someone been peeking at my Christmas list? AMY: Doctor. (He starts chewing on a toothpick and walks on.) [Saloon] (The piano playing and the conversations stop dead when our trio walk in. The Doctor goes to the bar.) DOCTOR: Tea. But the strong stuff. Leave the bag in. SADIE: What're you doing here, son? DOCTOR: Son? You can stay. (An African American in a natty black suit speaks.) PREACHER: Sir, might I enquire who you is? DOCTOR: Of course. I'm the Doctor. This is (Everyone stands up.) DOCTOR: No need to stand. You see that? Manners. Oh, thank you. (A man in a top hat starts measuring the Doctor.) DOCTOR: But I don't need a new suit. ABRAHAM: I'm the undertaker, sir. (A younger man in a brown suit and bowler hat steps forward. I'm guessing at the character name. It might be Dockery instead.) WALTER: I got a question. Is you an alien? DOCTOR: Well, er, bit personal. It's all relative, isn't it? I mean, I think you're the aliens, but in this context, yes. Yes, I suppose I am. [Mercy] (The Doctor is hoisted up and carried out shoulder high.) DOCTOR: Guys! (Amy and Rory are dragged along too.) AMY: Doctor! Put him down! SADIE: Don't think we won't kill you. RORY: Leave him alone! DOCTOR: Rory, everything is completely under control. Guys, guys, guys. (They throw the Doctor out of town. Literally.) DOCTOR: Ow. (When he turns around, they all point their revolvers at him. The Gunslinger suddenly appears in the distance.) PREACHER: He's coming. Oh God, he's coming. WALTER: Preacher, say something. PREACHER: Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. (The Doctor turns around to see the Cyborg approaching by dimension jumps. He is scared.) PREACHER: Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done. (A mustachioed man fires a shot in the air. Ben Browder, everyone.) ISAAC: You, bow tie. Get back across that line. (He pulls back his coat to reveal a six pointed metal star with the word Marshal on it.) ISAAC: Now. (The Doctor steps over the rocks and wood, and the Cyborg stops then vanishes.) WALTER: Isaac, he said he was a doctor. An alien doctor. ISAAC: That a reason to hand him to his death? WALTER: Isaac, it could be him. ISAAC: You know it ain't. (Isaac walks back down the street, nodding to Amy.) ISAAC: Ma'am. WALTER: Just letting him go like that? Be seeing you, boy. [Marshal's Office] DOCTOR: What was that outside? ISAAC: The Gunslinger. Showed up three weeks back. We've been prisoners ever since. See that border line stretching round the town? Woke up one morning, there it was. Nothing gets past it, in or out. No supply wagons, no reinforcements. Pretty soon the whole town's going to starve to death. RORY: But you let us in. ISAAC: You ain't carrying any food. Just three more mouths to feed. We'll all die even sooner now. DOCTOR: What happens if someone crosses the line? (Isaac throws the Doctor a Stetson with a neat hole in it.) DOCTOR: Ah, well, he wasn't a very good shot, then. ISAAC: He was aiming for the hat. DOCTOR: He shoots people's hats? AMY: It was a warning shot. DOCTOR: Ah, no, yes. I see. Hmm. AMY: What does he want? Has he issued some kind of demand? ISAAC: Says he wants us to give him the alien doctor. AMY: But that's you. Why would he want to kill you? Unless he's met you. RORY: And how could he know that we'd be here? (sotto) We didn't even know we'd be here. AMY: We were aiming for Mexico. The Doctor was taking us to see the Day of the Dead Festival. ISAAC: Mexico's two hundred miles due south. DOCTOR: Well, that's what happens when people get toast crumbs on the console. Anyway, I think it's about time I met him, don't you? ISAAC: Who? DOCTOR: The chap outside said I could be the alien doctor, but you said I wasn't, so you already know who it is. Two alien doctors. We're like buses. Resident eighty one, I presume, so beloved by the townsfolk he warranted an alteration to the sign. Probably because he rigged up these electrics, and I'm guessing he's in here, because if half the town suddenly wanted to throw me to my death, this is where I'd want to be. ISAAC: I don't know what you (The man in the cell throws back his blanket. He has a curved mark down the left side of his face, similar but not the same as Mas had.) JEX: Isaac, I think the time for subterfuge has passed. Good afternoon. My name is Kahler-Jex. I'm the doctor. (The Gunslinger watches the town from a distant ridge.) DOCTOR: The Kahler. I love the Kahler. They're one of the most ingenious races in the galaxy. Seriously, they could build a spaceship out of Tupperware and moss. AMY: All right. How did you get here? JEX: My craft crashed about a mile or so out of town. I would have died if Isaac and the others hadn't pulled me from the wreckage. DOCTOR: And you stayed, as their doctor. JEX: On my world I was a surgeon, so it seemed logical. And it gave me an opportunity to repay my debt to them. ISAAC: Listen to him. Talking like it was nothing. Tell them about the cholera. JEX: Now, Isaac, I'm sure our guests are ISAAC: Two years after he arrived, there was an outbreak of cholera. Thanks to the doc here, not a single person died. JEX: A minor infection we'd found a treatment for centuries ago. ISAAC: No, no, what, what do you call them? The electrics? JEX: Using my ship as a generator, I was able to rig up some rudimentary heating and lighting for the town. DOCTOR: So why does the Gunslinger want you? ISAAC: It don't matter. DOCTOR: I'm just saying, if we knew that ISAAC: America's the land of second chances. We called this town Mercy for a reason. Others, some round here, don't feel that way. JEX: Now, Isaac, we've discussed this. ISAAC: People whose lives you've saved are suddenly saying we should hand you over. JEX: They're scared, that's all. You can hardly blame them. ISAAC: Them being scared scares me. War only ended five years back. That old violence is still under the surface. We give up Doc Jex, then we hand the keys of the town over to chaos. DOCTOR: Did you try to repair your craft? Surely someone with your skills JEX: It really was very badly damaged. DOCTOR: We evacuate the town. Our ship's just over the hills, room for everyone. I'll pop out, bring it back here, Robert's your uncle. AMY: Really? Simple as that. No crazy schemes, no negotiations. DOCTOR: I've matured. I'm twelve hundred years old now. Plus I don't want to miss The Archers. AMY: Oh, so you're not even a tiny bit curious? DOCTOR: Why would I be curious? It's a mysterious space cowboy assassin. Curious? Of course I'm not curious. ISAAC: Son? You've still got to get past the Gunslinger. How you going to do that? (The Doctor puts on the Stetson.) DOCTOR: With a little sleight of hand. [Desert] (Isaac and Rory run across the parched waste.) ISAAC: You okay? RORY: I'm fine, yes. ISAAC: Keep moving. Next time, you get to wear Jex's clothes. (The Gunslinger spots them, but his computer tells him there is an 87% chance of injury to innocent, disengage, so he does.) [Mercy] DOCTOR: Can I borrow your horse, please? It's official Marshal business. PREACHER: He's called Joshua. It's from the Bible. It means the Deliverer. DOCTOR: No, he isn't. I speak horse. He's called Susan, and he wants you to respect his life choices. (The Doctor gallops out of town.) [Cliff face] (Isaac is leading Rory in front of a cliff when the rock explodes between them.) RORY: Er, I think he's seen us. ISAAC: This way. [Marshal's Office] AMY: When this is all done, do you want us to take you home? JEX: Thank you, but I've already given everything I have to the Kahler. My skills, energy, all that was good in me. Here, I could start afresh. I could remember myself and help people. That's all I ever wanted to do, end suffering. AMY: Here. (She puts Isaac's coat over Jex's shoulders.) JEX: You're a mother, aren't you. AMY: How did you know? JEX: There's kindness in your eyes. And sadness, but a ferocity too. AMY: Life's not exactly straight forward. JEX: It seldom is. AMY: And what about you? Are you a father? JEX: Yes. In a way, I suppose I am. [Ridge] ISAAC: So, we're waiting till the Doctor comes to pick us up in your ship. RORY: Yes, I know. I was there when we agreed it. ISAAC: Yeah, I said that more for my benefit than yours. [Desert] (The Doctor is galloping down the road when he slows up.) DOCTOR: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes, I know we're in a hurry. I just want to check something out. Two ticks. (He dismounts.) DOCTOR: There's something niggling me. Yes, yes, it could be important. Oi, don't swear. (He rummages in the dust and finds the shiny power cable that connects Jex's ship to the town. Jex notices the light in the office flickering. The Doctor rides on until he reaches the source of the power covered in a tarpaulin.) DOCTOR: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes, I wear a Stetson now. (The Doctor uncovers the gleaming white egg-shaped object.) DOCTOR: Yes, a good point, Susan. Where is the damage? (The Gunslinger stands on the ridge above Isaac and Rory. Target located. Terminate. Meanwhile, the Doctor is trying to get into Jex's ship. His sonic screwdriver sets off an alarm then a hatch opens. The Gunslinger hears it. Kahler Alarm Detected. It powers down its gun and goes to investigate.) [Mercy] (The alarm can even be heard in town.) JEX: That's the alarm on my ship. AMY: Maybe the Doctor wants to get it working again? JEX: But that wasn't the plan. He's not following the plan. AMY: Welcome to my world. [Jex's spaceship] (The Doctor drops straight down into the pilot seat.) COMPUTER: Security breach. You have ten seconds to enter the pass code. (The hatch closes and the Doctor starts waving the sonic screwdriver around.) COMPUTER: Or this vehicle will self-destruct. Thank you for choosing Abarakas Security software. Incinerating intruders for three centuries. Nine, eight, seven. Self-destruct overridden. DOCTOR: This is an awful lot of security for a titchy spacecraft. COMPUTER: Awaiting command. DOCTOR: Tell me everything you can about the Gunslinger. COMPUTER: File not found. Please choose from Technical Specifications, Flight Recorder, Personal Files, Maps and Charts. DOCTOR: Personal files of Doctor Kahler-Jex. (Experimental Cyborg Program Military Science Unit.) JEX [OC]: Names of deceased subjects can be found on the drop down menu. (We hear the screams of the subjects but only see scrolling text reflected on the Doctor's face.) [Marshal's Office] (Amy enters to discover Jex pointing a revolver at her head.) JEX: I'm sorry, Amy. He really should have followed the plan. [Desert] (The Doctor pops out of the spaceship to find the Gunslinger is right behind him. He ducks back inside briefly then out again.) DOCTOR: Don't shoot, don't shoot, don't shoot. I know who you are, and who Jex is, too. (The Gunslinger powers down his weapon.) DOCTOR: Now, what I don't understand is why you haven't just walked into town and killed him. GUNSLINGER: People will get in the way. DOCTOR: You want justice, you deserve justice, but this isn't the way. We can put him on trial GUNSLINGER: When he starts killing your people, you can use your justice. [Marshal's Office] JEX: Isaac says he doesn't care about my past, but things may have been uncovered that even he might struggle to forgive, so it's best we beat a hasty retreat. AMY: We? I'm coming with you? JEX: It's unlikely the Gunslinger will shoot if I'm with you. As far as I can tell, he's programmed to take innocent lives only if absolutely necessary. AMY: Oh, well, colour me reassured. (Jex opens the door and gets a gun in the back of his neck.) ISAAC: Doc? What are you doing? [Desert] GUNSLINGER: No more warning shots. I'll kill the next person to step over that line. Make sure it's Jex. [Marshal's Office] JEX: It was stupid of me, I realise that now. I just thought I'd put you all in enough danger. Perhaps if I left (The Doctor enters.) DOCTOR: He's lying. Every word, every thing he says, it's all lies. This man is a murderer. JEX: I am a scientist. DOCTOR: Sit down. Sit down! Tell them what you are. JEX: What am I? A war hero. ISAAC: Okay, somebody want to tell me what is going on? DOCTOR: The Gunslinger is a Cyborg. ISAAC: A what? DOCTOR: Half man, half machine. A weapon. Jex built it. He and his team took volunteers, told them they'd been selected for special training, then experimented on them, fused their bodies with weaponry, and programmed them to kill. ISAAC: Okay. Why? Why would you do that, Doc? JEX: We'd been at war for nine years. A war that had already decimated half of our planet. Our task was to bring peace, and we did. We built an army that routed the enemy and ended the war in less than a week. Do you want me to repent, to beg forgiveness for saving millions of lives? DOCTOR: And how many died screaming on the operating table before you had found your advantage? JEX: War is another world. You cannot apply the politics of peace to what I did. To what any of us did. RORY: What happened then? How come you're here? JEX: When the war ended we had the Cyborgs decommissioned, but one of them must have got its circuitry damaged in battle. It went offline and began hunting down the team that created it until just two of us were left. We fled, and our ships crashed here. RORY: So, what do we do with Jex? ISAAC: What do we do with him? RORY: Yeah. I mean, he's a war criminal. ISAAC: No, he's the guy that saved the town from cholera, the guy that gave us heat and light. AMY: Look, Jex may be a criminal and yeah, kind of creepy JEX: And still in the room. AMY: But I think we should put aside what he did and find another solution. RORY: Another solution? It's him or us. AMY: When did we start letting people get executed? Did I miss a memo? Doctor, tell him. DOCTOR: Hmm? Yes. I don't know. Whatever Amy said. JEX: Looking at you, Doctor, is like looking into a mirror, almost. There's rage there, like me. Guilt, like me. Solitude. Everything but the nerve to do what needs to be done. Thank the gods my people weren't relying on you to save them. DOCTOR: No. No, but these people are. Out! Out! Out! (Rory stops Amy at the door.) AMY: Oh, you're really letting him do this? RORY: Save us all? Yeah, I really am. [Mercy] JEX: No! (The Doctor pushes Jex along the street.) DOCTOR: Go on. (The townsfolk follow Isaac to see the Doctor push Jex over the boundary.) DOCTOR: Get over, and don't come back. (The Doctor takes a gun from a man's holster and points it at Jex as he tries to return.) JEX: You wouldn't. DOCTOR: I genuinely don't know. ISAAC: Doctor. Doctor. (Amy gets another gun and fires in the air.) AMY: Let him come back, Doctor. DOCTOR: Or what? You won't shoot me, Amy. AMY: How do you know? Maybe I've changed. I mean, you've clearly been taking stupid lessons since I saw you last. (Her gun fires again.) AMY: I didn't mean to do that. (So Isaac fires to get everyone's attention.) ISAAC: Everyone who isn't an American, drop your gun. DOCTOR: We can end this right now. We could save everyone right now. AMY: This is not how we roll, and you know it. What happened to you, Doctor? When did killing someone become an option? DOCTOR: Jex has to answer for his crimes. AMY: And what then? Are you going to hunt down everyone who's made a gun or a bullet or a bomb? DOCTOR: But they keep coming back, don't you see? Every time I negotiate, I try to understand. Well, not today. No. Today, I honour the victims first. His, the Master's, the Dalek's, all the people who died because of my mercy! AMY: You see, this is what happens when you travel alone for too long. Well, listen to me, Doctor. We can't be like him. We have to be better than him. DOCTOR: Amelia Pond. Fine, fine. We think of something else. But frankly, I'm betting on the Gunslinger. (The Doctor gives his gun back and holds out his hand.) DOCTOR: Jex, move over the line. Now. (Because the Gunslinger is right behind him. Jex turns around.) GUNSLINGER: Make peace with your gods. JEX: Kahler-Tek, isn't it? I remember all your names, even now. I'll never hurt anyone again. I'm even helping people here. GUNSLINGER: Last chance. Make peace with your gods. ISAAC: No! (Isaac pushes Jex out of the way and takes the Gunslinger's shot instead.) DOCTOR: Isaac. Isaac. Isaac. It's okay, it's okay. We can get you to Jex's surgery. He can save you. (Life Signs Deteriorating.) ISAAC: Listen to me. You've got to stay. You've got to look after everyone. DOCTOR: It won't come to that, Isaac. ISAAC: Protect Jex. Protect my town. You're both good men. You just forget it sometimes. (Isaac dies, handing on his Marshal's badge. The Doctor stands up and pins it on his jacket.) DOCTOR: Take Jex to his cell. If anything happens to him, you'll have me to answer to. (Jex is escorted away. The Doctor speaks to the Gunslinger.) DOCTOR: This has gone on long enough. GUNSLINGER: You are right. You've got until noon tomorrow. Give him to me or I'll kill you all. (The Gunslinger vanishes.) AMY: Oh, my god. You're the Marshal. DOCTOR: Yeah. And you're the Deputy. [Marshal's Office] (Night. Someone hammers on the door.) DOCTOR: Come in. PREACHER: Marshal. Ma'am. Fella. You need to come outside. DOCTOR: Why, what's wrong? PREACHER: Just come outside. And you should put that on. (The gun belt.) [Outside the Marshal's Office] (The townsfolk have gathered.) DOCTOR: What's going on? WALTER: He in there? Leave the keys and take a walk. By the time you get back, this'll all be done. DOCTOR: I promised Isaac I'd protect him. WALTER: Protecting him got Isaac dead. Tomorrow, it's going to be us all, dead. DOCKERY: We thought Isaac was right to fight, but it's different now. We've got to say, all right we lost, and give that thing what it wants. SADIE: What it wants is to kill our friend. WALTER: We don't got any ill feeling towards the Doc. We just thinking about our families. Hand him over and we all safe again. DOCTOR: You know I can't do that. WALTER: We got us a problem. DOCTOR: Please don't do this. WALTER: Why, reckon you're quicker than me? DOCTOR: Oh, certainly not, but this? Lynch mobs? A town turning against itself? This is everything Isaac didn't want. (Walter draws his gun and cocks it.) DOCTOR: How old are you? WALTER: Nearly nineteen. (The Doctor is slowly walking forward.) DOCTOR: That's eighteen, then. Too young to have fought in the war, so I'm guessing you've never shot anyone before, have you? WALTER: First time for everything. DOCTOR: But that's how all this started. Jex turned someone into a weapon. Now that same story's going to make you a killer, too. Don't you see? Violence doesn't end violence, it extends it, and I don't think you want to do this. I don't think you want to become that man. WALTER: There's kids here. DOCTOR: I know, who I can save if you'll let me. WALTER: He really worth the risk? DOCTOR: Don't know. But you are. (Walter lowers his gun and walks away. The crowd disperses.) DOCTOR: Frightened people. Give me a Dalek any day. [Marshal's Office] (The Doctor removes the gun belt.) ABRAHAM: Fresh coffee, Marshal. For what it's worth, I know you're going to save us. Isaac made you Marshal for a reason, and if you're good enough for him, you're good enough for me. Reckon you should know that. DOCTOR: Thank you. (Abraham continues to take his measurements.) DOCTOR: Oi. Get out of it. (Abraham leaves.) JEX: Let me guess. The good folk of Mercy wanted me to take a little stroll into the desert. You could turn a blind eye. No one would blame you. You'd be a hero. DOCTOR: But I can't, can I. Because then Isaac's death would mean nothing. Just another casualty in your endless bloody war. Do you want me to hand you over? Is that what you want? Do you even know? JEX: You think I'm unaffected by what I did? That I don't hear them screaming every time I close my eyes? It would be so much simpler if I was just one thing, wouldn't it? The mad scientist who made that killing machine, or the physician who's dedicated his life to serving this town. The fact that I'm both bewilders you. DOCTOR: Oh, I know exactly what you are, and I see this reformation for what it really is. You committed an atrocity and chose this as your punishment. Don't get me wrong, good choice. Civilised hours, lots of adulation, nice weather, but, but justice doesn't work like that. You don't get to decide when and how your debt is paid. JEX: In my culture, we believe that when you die your spirit has to climb a mountain carrying the souls of everyone you wronged in your lifetime. Imagine the weight I will have to lift. The monsters I created, the people they killed. Isaac, he was my friend. Now his soul will be in my arms, too. Can you see now why I fear death? You want to hand me over. There's no shame in that. But you won't. We all carry our prisons with us. Mine is my past. Yours is your morality. DOCTOR: We all carry our prisons with us. Ha! [Chapel] (Getting close to high noon. Marshal Doctor is out on the street in front of the Bank. The townsfolk have gathered together to pray.) PREACHER: Help me. Help me to (Inside the Marshal's office, Amy and Jex hear the whoosh of the Gunslinger dimension-shifting towards town. The clock strikes 12 as he steps across the barrier. When it finishes striking, the Gunslinger raises his weapon. The Doctor brandishes the sonic screwdriver, disrupting his systems and ruining his aim. Several windows and the Bank clock suffer as the Doctor runs away.) [Marshal's Office] AMY: Ready? (She unlocks the cell.) [Mercy] RORY: Ready? (He and Walter have replicas of Jex's identifying mark on their faces. So do several other men. They run, confusing the Gunslinger. Error: Invalid Visual Match.) GUNSLINGER: Disengage. It's a trick. [Chapel] (The Gunslinger stomps past.) PREACHER: (sotto) Save us, O Lord. (A little girl gets up and knocks over some hymnals. The Gunslinger hears it and blasts his way in. The people start screaming.) [Mercy] (Jex hesitates at the sound.) DOCTOR: Go! Just go! I can't save them while you're here. (The Gunslinger looks into the little girl's eyes, and leaves the Chapel. Jex runs out of town and back to his little spaceship.) [Jex's spaceship] COMPUTER: Nine, eight, seven. Self destruct overridden. [Mercy] GUNSLINGER: Deactivate automatic targeting. Switch to manual. (He locates the Doctor hiding around the corner of a building. He's got the Jex mark, too.) DOCTOR: Right. GUNSLINGER: Where is he? DOCTOR: He's gone. GUNSLINGER: Where? Answer me. DOCTOR: Away from here. Look up. Any second now you'll see the vapour trail of his ship. This is their home, not the backdrop for your revenge. Lookup, go after him, take this battle away from JEX [OC]: Kahler-Tek. [Jex's spaceship] JEX: Kahler-Tek. [Mercy] GUNSLINGER: Jex. Coward. [Jex's spaceship] GUNSLINGER [OC]: Where are you? JEX: I'm in my ship. [Mercy] DOCTOR: What are you doing? Just go! JEX [OC]: Where are you from? [Jex's spaceship] JEX: Where on Kahler? [Mercy] DOCTOR: Now? You're asking him this now? GUNSLINGER: Gabriah. [Jex's spaceship] JEX: I know it. It's beautiful there. When this is over, will you go back? GUNSLINGER [OC]: How can I? [Mercy] GUNSLINGER: I am a monster now. [Jex's spaceship] JEX: So am I. [Mercy] DOCTOR: Just go! Finish this! GUNSLINGER: I'll find you. If I have to tear this universe apart, I will find you. [Jex's spaceship] JEX: I don't doubt that. [Mercy] JEX [OC]: You'll chase me to another planet [Jex's spaceship] JEX: And another race will be caught in the cross-fire. [Mercy] GUNSLINGER: Face me! [Jex's spaceship] COMPUTER: Count down to self-destruct resumed. [Mercy] GUNSLINGER: Face me! JEX: No. You've killed enough. [Jex's spaceship] JEX: I'm ending the war for you, too. COMPUTER: Count down to self-destruct [Mercy] COMPUTER [OC]: Resumed. DOCTOR: What's going on? COMPUTER [OC]: Ten. [Jex's spaceship] DOCTOR [OC]: The count down. [Mercy] DOCTOR: What's going on? Jex! JEX [OC]: Thank you, Doctor. I have to face [Jex's spaceship] JEX: The souls of those I've wronged. COMPUTER: Five JEX: Perhaps they will be kind. COMPUTER: Three, two, one, zero. (The white egg goes KaBOOM.) [Mercy] (The black smoke rises above the roof tops. The Gunslinger bows his head.) GUNSLINGER: He behaved with honour at the end. Maybe more than me. DOCTOR: We could take you back to your world. You could help with the reconstruction. GUNSLINGER: I will walk into the desert and self-destruct. I'm a creature of war. I have no role to play during peace. DOCTOR: Except maybe to protect it. (Later, the Doctor runs out of the Marshal's Office. The Tardis is parked in the middle of the street.) DOCTOR: Okay, so, our next trip. Oh! You know all the monkeys and dogs they sent into space in the fifties and sixties? You will never guess what really happened to them. AMY: Could we leave it a while? Our friends are going to start noticing that we're aging faster than them. DOCTOR: Another time? No worry. (Amy waves farewell to Walter and the Preacher, then she and Rory go into the Tardis. The Doctor and Walter do a mock quick draw, which the Doctor wins, then he goes inside and the Tardis dematerialies. The little girl goes out of town and looks up to a distant ridge where the Gunslinger is standing guard over the town.) WOMAN [OC]: By the time the Gunslinger arrived, the people of Mercy were used to the strange, the impossible. Where he came from didn't matter. As a man once said, America is a land of second chances. Do I believe the story? I don't know. My great-grandmother must have been a little girl when he arrived. But next time you're in Mercy, ask someone why they don't have a Marshal or Sheriff or policeman there. We've got our own arrangement, they'll say, then they'll smile like they got a secret. Like they've got their own special angel watching out for them. Their very own angel who fell from the stars. AMY [OC]: Life with the Doctor was like this. (Lots of flashes of action clips.) AMY [OC]: Real life was like this. [Kitchen - July] (There are 59 messages on the telephone answerphone. Rory it putting clothes from a suitcase into the washing machine while Amy checks the fridge.) WOMAN [answerphone]: It's Lane's Opticians. Just reminding you your reading glasses are ready for collection. Bye! AMY: Milk two months out of date. Yogurt. (It smells and looks so bad she drops it.) AMY: Eek! Don't ask. RORY: We've run out of washing tablets. [Back garden] RORY: We have two lives. Real life and Doctor life. Except real life doesn't get much of a look in. AMY: What do we do? RORY: Choose? (The sound of a Tardis materialising.) AMY: Not today, though. RORY: Nah, not today. AMY [OC]: Every time we flew away with the Doctor, we'd just become part of his life. But he never stood still long enough to become part of ours. Except once. The year of the slow invasion. The time the Doctor came to stay. (As Rory and Amy sleep, a black box appears downstairs and floats onto a shelf.) [Front door] (Rory and Amy are woken by the doorbell. They look out of their bedroom window.) RORY: Dad, it's half past six in the morning. BRIAN: What are you doing lying around? Haven't you seen them? (He has one of the boxes, and there are lots of them scattered around the street like three inch square black hailstones.) RORY: What are they? BRIAN: Nobody knows. They're everywhere. AMY: Well, where have they come from? Wait. (A man in a tweed jacket is sitting on top of a child's climbing frame examining a box.) AMY: Doctor! DOCTOR: Invasion of the very small cubes. That's new. (The BBC News channel provides information.) BBC NEWS: (Matthew Amroliwala) World leaders are appealing for calm. BBC NEWS: (Joanna Gosling?) After the global appearance of millions of small cubes. Despite official warnings, people have been taking the cubes from the streets into offices and homes. MATTHEW [on TV]: What are they? JOANNA [on TV]: Where do they come from? MATTHEW [on TV]: And why are they here? PROF BRIAN COX [on TV]: Well, they're certainly not random space debris. They're too perfectly formed for that. Are they extra-terrestrial in origin? Well, you'll have to ask a better man than me. [Tardis] DOCTOR: All absolutely identical. Not a single molecule's difference between them. No blemishes, imperfections, individualities. BRIAN: What if they're bombs? Billions of tiny bombs? Or transport capsules maybe, with a mini robot inside. Or deadly hard drives. Or alien eggs? Or messages needing decoding. Or they're all parts of a bigger whole. Jigsaw puzzles that need fitting together. DOCTOR: Very thorough, Brian. Very, very thorough. Well done. Stay here. Watch these. Yell if anything happens. AMY: Doctor, is this an alien invasion? Because that's what it feels like. RORY: There couldn't be life-forms in every cube, could there? DOCTOR: I don't know. And I really don't like not knowing. [Kitchen] (The Tardis is parked in the lounge.) DOCTOR: Right, I need to use your kitchen as a lab. Cook up some cubes. See what happens. RORY: Right, I'm due at work. DOCTOR: What? You've got a job? RORY: Of course I've got a job. What do you think we do when we're not with you? DOCTOR: I imagined mostly kissing. AMY: I write travel articles for magazines and Rory heals the sick. RORY: My shift starts in an hour. You don't know where my scrubs are? AMY: In the lounge, where you left them. [Alleyway] (A suburban one, not a city one. Military types pile out of 4x4s.) MAN [OC]: Approaching site. Quite strong likeness detected. Target unconfirmed. May be hostile. SOLDIER: Approaching source now. Area will be secure in sixty seconds. Ultimate force available. (And run up to a certain front door.) [Kitchen] DOCTOR: All the Ponds, with their house and their jobs and their everyday lives. The journalist and the nurse. Long way from Leadworth. (The Doctor is sonicking a gizmo together.) AMY: We think it's been ten years. Not for you or Earth, but for us. Ten years older. Ten years of you, on and off. DOCTOR: Look at you now. All grown up. (The front door is smashed down.) MAN: Clear! Trap one, kitchen secured. MAN 2: Trap three, back garden secured. (The rest of the squad are outside the patio doors. Rory is marched in at gunpoint.) RORY: There are soldiers all over my house, and I'm in my pants. AMY: My whole life I've dreamed of saying that, and I miss it by being someone else. (A woman enters the house.) KATE: All these muscles, and they still don't know how to knock. Sorry about the raucous entrance. Spike in Artron energy reading at this address. In the light of the last twenty four hours, we had to check it out, and the dogs do love a run out. Hello. Kate Stewart, head of scientific research at UNIT. And with dress sense like that. (She holds out a scanner, which shows two hearts beating in his chest.) KATE: You must be the Doctor. I hoped it would be you. DOCTOR: Tell me, since when did science run the military, Kate? KATE: Since me. UNIT's been adapting. Well, I dragged them along, kicking and screaming, which made it sound like more fun than it actually was. DOCTOR: What do we know about these cubes? KATE: Far less than we need to. We've been freighting them in from around the world for testing. So far, we've subjected them to temperatures of plus and minus two hundred Celsius, simulated a water depth of five miles, dropped one out of a helicopter at ten thousand feet and rolled our best tank over it. Always intact. DOCTOR: That's impressive. I don't want them to be impressive. I want them vulnerable with a nice Achilles heel. KATE: We don't know how they got here, what they're made of, or why they're here. DOCTOR: And all around the world, people are picking them up and taking them home. KATE: Like iPads have dropped out of the sky. Taking them to work, taking pictures, making films, posting them on Flickr and YouTube. Within three hours, the cubes had a thousand separate Twitter accounts. DOCTOR: Twitter? KATE: I've recommended we treat this as a hostile incursion. Gather them all up and lock them in a secure facility. But that would take massive international agreement and co-operation. DOCTOR: We need evidence. The cubes arrived in plain sight, in vast quantities, as the sun rose. So, what does that tell us? AMY: Maybe they wanted to be seen. Noticed. DOCTOR: Or more than that, they want to be observed. So we observe them. Stay with them round the clock. Watch the cubes, day and night. Record absolutely everything about them. Team cube, in it together. [Lounge] DOCTOR: Four days. Nothing! Nothing! Not a single change in any cube anywhere in the world. Four days, and I am still in your lounge! AMY: You were the one who wanted to observe them. DOCTOR: Yes, well, I thought they'd do something, didn't I? Not just sit there while everyone eats endless cereal! RORY: You said we had to be patient. DOCTOR: Yes, you! You, not me! I hate being patient. Patience is for wimps. I can't live like this. Don't make me. I need to be busy. AMY: Fine! Be busy! We'll watch the cubes. (So the Doctor creosotes the garden fence, plays a little football, mows the lawn and does something to their car.) DOCTOR: (keeping the football off the ground.) Ninety eight, ninety nine, one hundred. Amy! (He also vacuums the house.) DOCTOR: Four million nine hundred ninety nine, five million. (He returns to the sofa.) DOCTOR: That's better. Nothing like a bit of activity to pass the time. How long was I gone? RORY: Er, about an hour. DOCTOR: I can't do it. No. AMY: Where are you going? [Tardis] DOCTOR: Brian, you're still here. BRIAN: You told me to watch the cubes. DOCTOR: Four days ago. BRIAN: Ah! Doesn't time fly when you're alone with your thoughts? RORY: You can't just leave, Doctor. DOCTOR: Yes, of course I can. Quick jaunt, restore sanity. Ooo, hey, come if you like. BRIAN: They can't just go off like that. DOCTOR: Can't they? Can't you? That's how it goes, isn't it? RORY: I've got my job. DOCTOR: Oh yes, Rory. The universe is awaiting, but you have a little job to. RORY: It's not little. It's important to me. Look, what you do isn't all there is. DOCTOR: I never said it was. DOCTOR: All right. Fine. I'll be back soon. Monitor the cubes. Call me. I'll have the Tardis set to every Earth news feed. JOANNA [on TV]: At the end of a week of cubic questions and theories, but no answers, could this be the greatest stealth marketing campaign in business history? And if it is, will those behind it ever come forward and explain exactly what it's for? [Party - October] AMY: I'm so pleased for you two. It's about time you made an honest woman of her. LAURA: Amy, about bridesmaids. You've missed quite a few things the last year or two. AMY: I'm so totally there. Whatever you need. [Hospital] RANJIT: : Everyone here loves you. The nurses, the doctors. You're a life-saver, mate, literally. RORY: Ah, well, thanks. RANJIT: But there are months when we don't see you. And we can't do without you. I want you to go full time. RORY: Full time? Blimey. Er. [Bedroom] RORY: I said yes. I committed. AMY: And I committed to being a bridesmaid. Months in advance. Like I know I'm going to be here. RORY: So the Doctor's God knows where, the cubes aren't doing anything at all. Did real life just get started? AMY: I like it. RORY: So do I. [Lounge] (Brian is keeping a video diary.) BRIAN: Brian's log, day sixty seven. RORY: You, er, you can't call it that. Brian's log? BRIAN: Brian's log, day sixty seven. Cube was quiet all night, 0nce again. Cube was quiet all day, as per previously. No movement. No change in measurements. End of entry. RORY: You stay up and watch it all the time. BRIAN: I film it while I'm asleep. When I wake up, I watch the footage on fast forward. I e-mail the result to UNIT. My middle name is diligence. RORY: Wow. I can't wait to see day sixty eight. BRIAN: Don't mock my log. I'm doing what the Doctor asked. [Hospital - December] (The decorations are up and Noddy Holder is singing Merry Christmas Everybody.) RORY: That's it. Er, Mister Ryan, please. (A young man with his foot stuck in a toilet bowl.) RORY: Again? (Rory wheels him away. We zoom in on a young girl. Her eyes flare blue, then so does the cube she is holding.) [Ward] (A old man is lying on a bed, reading a paperback. A man enters wearing a mask and draws the curtain.) ARNOLD: I'm fine. I've been done. ORDERLY: What seems to be the matter? ARNOLD: I'm just waiting for a prescription. ORDERLY: Where does it hurt? (A second identical man enters.) ARNOLD: I said I'm fine. Will you tell your colleague here that I. Stop! (Arnold Underwood pulls down the orderlies masks. They have snouts with grills rather than noses and mouths. The box by his bed glows red as he screams. In an office, the boxes are used to put post-it notes on, create targets for putting practice, and as paperweights. In the streets, there are piles of them by waste bins.) [Back garden - June] (The Williams are hosting a barbeque. Amy makes a telephone call.) AMY: Hey! Doctor, it's me. Hello. So, the UN classified the cubes as provisionally safe, whatever that means, and Banksy and Damien Hirst put out statements saying the cubes are nothing to do with them. And the cubes, well, they're just here. Still. What's it been, nine months? People are just taking them for granted. Maybe we'll never know why they came. But anyway. I got to Laura's wedding. It was great. She's here tonight, being as it's our wedding anniversary. We thought you might have dropped by. I left you messages. (A man carries a large bouquet of flowers up behind Amy.) DOCTOR: I know! Happy anniversary! Come with me. And bring your husband. [Savoy Hotel] DOCTOR: 26th of June, 1890. The recently opened Savoy Hotel. Dinner, bed and breakfast for two. Bonjour, bonjour. Merci, Auguste. You'll be back before the party's over. They won't even notice you went. No complications, I promise. (Rory kisses the Doctor continental style.)  DOCTOR: Ooo! [Street] (Still dressed for 1890, and it is snowing.) DOCTOR: Bit of a shock, Zygon ship under the Savoy, half the staff impostors. Still, it's all fixed now, eh? [Bedchamber] HENRY [OC]: Gentlemen, open the doors! AMY: I thought we were going home? DOCTOR: You can't miss a good wedding. Under the bed. Under the bed! (The trio hide under the big four-poster.) DOCTOR: Shush! AMY: It wasn't my fault. RORY: It was totally your fault! AMY: Somebody was talking, and I just said yes. RORY: To wedding vows! You just married Henry VIII on our anniversary. (The monarch enters. The Doctor sneezes.) DOCTOR: Sorry. [Lounge - June... again] (A party) (Brian goes up to the Doctor.) BRIAN: How long were they away? DOCTOR: I don't know what you're talking about, Brian. BRIAN: Because they're wearing totally different clothes from earlier. DOCTOR: Seven weeks. I got side-tracked. A lot. BRIAN: What happened to the other people who travel with you? DOCTOR: Some left me. Some got left behind. And some, not many but, some died. Not them. Not them, Brian. Never them. [Back garden] DOCTOR: Can I stay here, with you and Rory, for a bit. Keep an eye on the cubes. However long that takes. AMY: I thought it would drive you mad. DOCTOR: No, no, no. I mean, I'll be better at it this time. I miss you. [Brian's lounge - July] BRIAN: Brian's log, day three hundred and sixty one. Eight fifty pm. No movement. And I am cream crackered. (Brian falls asleep.) [Lounge] LORD SUGAR [on TV]: I sent you out to sell as many cubes as you could in twenty four hours. And look at you, you've made a right hash of it, haven't you. Well, Craig, you're fired. (The Doctor, Amy and Rory are eating what looks like fish fingers and custard.) DOCTOR: If I had a restaurant, this'd be all I'd serve. AMY: Yeah, right. You running a restaurant. DOCTOR: I've run restaurants. Who do you think invented the Yorkshire pudding? RORY: You didn't. DOCTOR: Pudding, yet savoury. Sound familiar? [Brian's lounge] (Something jolts Brian awake. It is the box moving. He dozes off again and reawakens when it starts to spin around.) BRIAN: Do it again. [Kitchen] AMY: Good job, mister. Civilisations saved, surfaces wiped. What more could any woman ask for? RORY: Ha, ha. AMY: I mean it. RORY: Where's the Doctor? AMY: On the Wii again. I'm going for a bath. (The cube on the work surface opens its lid and closes it again.) [Lounge] DOCTOR: Oh, yes! Second set, Doctor! Ha ha! Oh, if Fred Perry could see me now, eh? He'd probably ask for his shorts back. [Bathroom] (Amy sees the cube in here glowing. She puts her hand on it and gets stabbed by a square of 25 short needles.) AMY: Ow! (The needles disappear back inside the cube then a heartbeat line appears through the middle of it. (Down in the kitchen, Rory spots the cube opening and closing. He tries to see what is inside it.) [Lounge] DOCTOR: Third set decider, come on, then. (A cube flies around him and blocks his view.) DOCTOR: Out of the way, dear, I'm trying to. Whatever you are, this planet, these people, are precious to me. And I will defend them to my last breath. Is that all you can do, hover? I had a metal dog could do that. (The cube points a tube at him.)  DOCTOR: What's that? (The cube fires, the Doctor dodges and a vase shatters. The Doctor escapes after two more pot shots, then the cube settles in front of the TV cum computer console and images flicker across the screen very quickly.) [Hallway] (The Doctor looks in round the door.) DOCTOR: Ooo, you really have woken up. RORY: Doctor? Hi. Er, the cube in there, it just opened. AMY: The cube upstairs just spiked me and took my pulse! DOCTOR: Ha! Really? Mine fired laser bolts and now it's surfing the net. (Brian enters.) BRIAN: You're never going to believe this. My cube just moved. It rattled. (Rory answers his mobile phone.) RORY: Hello? [Hospital] RANJIT: Rory, mate, I'm desperate for help. People are saying they've been attacked by the cubes. It's going to be a long night. (The little girl is still sitting there with a glowing cube. Since December?) RORY [OC]: Okay, I'm on my way. [Hallway] RORY: I have to get to work. They need all the help they can get. BRIAN: Let me come, help out. RORY: Take your dad to work night, brilliant! Okay, are you going to be all right here? AMY: Keep away from the cubes. RORY: Right. (Rory and Brian leave. The Doctor is looking at his psychic paper.) AMY: What are you grinning about? DOCTOR: We're wanted at the Tower of London. [Tower of London] (They arrive by car.) KATE: Every cube across the whole world activated at the same moment. DOCTOR: Now we're in business. You sent me a message to my psychic paper. You know what? I'm almost impressed. [UNIT HQ] AMY: Secret base beneath the Tower. Hope we're not here because we know too much. KATE: Yes, I've got officers trained in beheading. Also ravens of death. AMY: I like her. (They enter an area with lots of individual armoured cubicles, each containing a cube.) KATE: There are fifty being monitored, and more coming in all the time. I don't know how useful it is. Every cube is behaving individually. There's no meaningful pattern. Some respond to proximity. Some create mood swings. (Amy touches one cubicle and the cube produces a flames. In another, a woman weeps.) AMY: Er, what's this one? KATE: Try the door. (Amy opens the door and the Birdie Song starts playing.) KATE: On a loop! (Amy shuts the door again quickly.) KATE: This is the latest. DOCTOR: Oh dear. Systems breach at the Pentagon, China, every African nation, the Middle East. KATE: I've got governments screaming for explanations and no idea what to tell them. I'm lost, Doctor. We all are. DOCTOR: Don't despair, Kate. Your dad never did. Kate Stewart, heading up UNIT, changing the way they work. How could you not be? Why did you drop Lethbridge? KATE: I didn't want any favours. Though he guided me, even to the end. Science leads, he always told me. Said he'd learned that from an old friend. DOCTOR: We don't let him down. We don't let this planet down. RESEARCHER: They've stopped. The cubes, across the world, they just shut down. KATE: Active for forty seven minutes, and then they just die? DOCTOR: Not dead. Dormant, maybe. AMY: Then why shut down? DOCTOR: I don't know. I don't know. I need to think. I need some air. Who has an underground base? Terrible ventilation. [By the Thames] DOCTOR: The moment they arrived, I should have made sure they were collected and burned. That is what I should have done. AMY: How? Nobody would have listened. DOCTOR: You're thinking of stopping, aren't you? You and Rory. AMY: No. I mean, we haven't made a decision. DOCTOR: But you're considering it. AMY: Maybe. I don't know. We don't know. Well, our lives have changed so much. But there was a time, there were years, when I couldn't live without you. When just the whole everyday thing would drive me crazy. But since you dropped us back here, since you gave us this house, you know, we've built a life. I don't know if I can have both. DOCTOR: Why? AMY: Because they pull at each other. Because they pull at me, and because the travelling is starting to feel like running away. DOCTOR: That's not what it is. AMY: Oh, come on. Look at you, four days in a lounge and you go crazy. DOCTOR: I'm not running away. But this is one corner of one country in one continent on one planet that's a corner of a galaxy that's a corner of a universe that is forever growing and shrinking and creating and destroying and never remaining the same for a single millisecond. And there is so much, so much to see, Amy. Because it goes so fast. I'm not running away from things, I am running to them before they flare and fade forever. And it's all right. Our lives won't run the same. They can't. One day, soon maybe, you'll stop. I've known for a while. AMY: Then why do you keep coming back for us? DOCTOR: Because you were the first. The first face this face saw. And you're seared onto my hearts, Amelia Pond. You always will be. I'm running to you, and Rory, before you fade from me. AMY: Don't be nice to me. I don't want you to be nice to me. DOCTOR: Yeah, you do, Pond, and you always get what you want. They got what they wanted. AMY: What? Who did? DOCTOR: The cubes. That's why they stopped. Come on. [UNIT HQ] DOCTOR: Kate? Before they shut down, they scanned everything, from your medical limits to your military response patterns. They made a complete assessment of Planet Earth and its inhabitants. That's what the surge of activity was. (The power cuts off.) DOCTOR: Problem with the power? KATE: Not possible. We've got back-ups. DOCTOR: Hmm. AMY: Doctor? Look. DOCTOR: What? KATE: Why do they all say seven? (Every cube is showing the same number.) DOCTOR: Seven. Seven, what's important about seven? Seven wonders of the world, seven streams of the River Ota, seven sides of a cube. AMY: A cube has six sides. DOCTOR: Not if you count the inside. (Clunk, six.) DOCTOR: It has to be a countdown. KATE: Not in minutes. DOCTOR: Why would it be minutes? Kate, we have to get humanity away from those cubes. God knows what they'll do if they hit zero. Get the information out any way you can. News channels, websites, radio, text messages. People have to know that the cubes are dangerous. AMY: Okay, but why is this starting now? I mean, the cubes arrived months ago. Why wait this long? DOCTOR: Because they're clever. Allow people enough time to collect them, take them into their homes, their lives. Humans, the great early adopters. And then, wham! Profile every inch of Earth's existence. KATE: Discover how best to attack us. DOCTOR: Get that information out any way you can. Go! KATE: Right. (The computers are still working.) DOCTOR: Every cube was activated. There must be signals, energy fluctuations on a colossal scale, there must be some trace. There can't not be. We need to think of all the variables, all the possibilities, okay? Go, go, go, go, go! MATTHEW [on TV]: This is a national security alert. The Government advises that members of the public dispose of all cubes. If there are cubes inside your house, remove them immediately. (The number drops from five to four.) [Hospital] RORY: We've get them out of the building. Away from here, as far as you can, and get back here before it hits zero. Dad, could you go and get me a box of tape for dressings? It's just the cupboard round the corner. BRIAN: Yes, boss. [Corridor] (Brian is nearly knocked over by the twin orderlies pushing a trolley.) BRIAN: Sorry. Er, excuse me? I'm looking for the supplies cupboard. I said, I'm looking for the supplies cupboard. (The orderlies turn and advance towards Brian. Three. [Hospital] RORY: Have you seen my dad? NURSE: No, sorry. [Corridor] (Rory sees the orderlies at the far end, with Brian on the trolley.) RORY: Hey. Dad! Hey! Hey! (The orderlies run into a goods lift with Do Not Use tape all over it. Rory presses the button, the doors open again but it is empty. He goes in and tries the floor buttons. The doors close. Rory touches the wall opposite and it wibbles. He walks through and onto a spaceship in geosyncronous orbit above an Earth surrounded by clouds..) [UNIT HQ] AMY: Doctor, please. You don't have to do this. KATE: She's right. You don't have to be in there. We can do this remotely. DOCTOR: Remotely isn't my style. See you after. (The Doctor enters a cubicle as the number on the cube changes to two. Then it goes to one rather quickly, and finally zero. Then it switches off and opens its lid.) DOCTOR: Geronimo. KATE: What's happening? AMY: Well? What's in there? DOCTOR: There is nothing in here. AMY: Er, well, that's good. It's not, it's not bombs, it's not aliens. DOCTOR: Why? Why is there nothing inside? Why? It doesn't make any sense. (The Doctor comes out of the cubicle and goes to the bespectacled Researcher.) DOCTOR: Glasses, is it the same? Is it the same all around the world? KATE: They're empty. We're safe, right? DOCTOR: Ah, no, no, no, we are very far from safe. All along, every action has been deliberate. Why draw attention to the cubes if they don't contain anything? AMY: Doctor, look. (On the monitors, people are clutching at their chests in pain as they walk near cubes on the ground.) RESEARCHER: They're CCTV feeds from across the world. They're showing the same. KATE: People are dying. DOCTOR: What? They can't be dying. How? How are they dying? KATE: I want information on how people are being affected. DOCTOR: The cubes brought people close together. They opened and then argh! (The Doctor clutches his chest.) AMY: Doctor, what's the matter? DOCTOR: Argh. Ah, I don't know! RESEARCHER: Hospitals are logging a global surge in heart failures. Cardiac arrests. DOCTOR: That's it. Oh! Oh! Oh! Only one heart. Other one's not working. AMY: Okay, I'm going to get you to the hospital! DOCTOR: Oh, no, no, no, no. Just a short circuit. Turn around, turn around. Tell me, show me. Ten seconds after the cubes opened, show me the patterns in their electrical currents. (A heartbeat.) DOCTOR: See? KATE: No! DOCTOR: Yes, the power cut. They zapped the power and then argh! They're signal boxes. People leaning in, wham. Pure electrical surge out of the cube targeted at the nearest human heart. The heart, an organ powered by electrical currents, short-circuited. How to destroy a human? Go for the heart. Ow. Crikey Moses. KATE: Doctor, the scan you set running. The transmitter locations. It's found them. DOCTOR: And look at them all, pulsing bold as brass. Seven of them, all across the world. Ow! Seven stations, seven minutes. Why is that important? Argh! Ow, ow. How do you people manage? One heart, it is pitiful. A wormhole, bridging two dimensions. Seven of them hitched onto this planet, but where's the closest one? Glasses, zoom in. AMY: It's the hospital where Rory works. [Spaceship] (Rory spots his father amongst the people lying on slabs here.) RORY: Dad. Dad! (The alien orderlies are there.) RORY: Just get away from him. (The orderlies draw hypodermics and advance.) [Hospital] DOCTOR: How many deaths have been recorded? KATE: We don't know. We think it could be a third of the population. DOCTOR: Kate, I have to find the wormhole, but the attacks could still happen. Tell the world. Tell them how to deal with this. The world needs your leadership right now. KATE: I'll do my best. DOCTOR: Of course you will. Good luck, Kate. Argh! Argh! AMY: Okay, how long are you going to last with only one heart? DOCTOR: Not much longer. I need to locate the wormhole portal. (The sonic screwdriver zuzzes.) DOCTOR: Hello. Hello! (He finds the little girl.) DOCTOR: You are giving off some very strange signals. (The girl's face glows blue.) AMY: Oh, my God. DOCTOR: Outlier droid, monitoring everything. If I shut her down, I can. (He does, then staggers again.) [Corridor] DOCTOR: Ah. It's all right, it's all right. I can't, Amy. I can't do it. I need both hearts! (Amy grabs a portable defibrillator.) AMY: All right. Desperate measures. DOCTOR: What? No. No, no, no. That won't work. I'm a Time Lord. AMY: All right, clear! DOCTOR: Whoo! Ooo. Ooo! Welcome back, lefty! Whoa-ho! Two hearts! Woo! Back in the game. Ah. Never do that to me again. (The goods lift bell dings.) AMY: Ah, portal to another dimension in a goods lift? DOCTOR: The energy signals converge here. Does seem a bit cramped, though. (They find the wibbly wall.) DOCTOR: Through the looking glass, Amelia? [Spaceship] AMY: Where are we? DOCTOR: We're in orbit. One dimension to the left. AMY: Rory! (Laid out on a slab next to Brian. The Doctor produces a small vial.) DOCTOR: Ah. Soborian smelling salts. Outlawed in seven galaxies. (Amy waves it under Rory's nose and he sits up quickly. Someone shoots at them.) DOCTOR: Whoa! Whoa! What kind of a welcome do you call that? Get them out of here. You too. Now! AMY: What are you going to do? DOCTOR: Absolutely no idea. Get him to the portal. (Brian wakes as soon as they move his trolley. The alien shoots again.) DOCTOR: Whoa! SHAKRI: So many of them crawling the planet, seeping into every corner. (Amy, Rory and Brian leave. The alien vanishes then reappears in front of a bank of monitors.) DOCTOR: It's not possible. I thought the Shakri were a myth. A myth to keep the young of Gallifrey in their place. SHAKRI: The Shakri exist in all of time, and none. We travel alone and together. The Seven. DOCTOR: The Shakri craft, connected to Earth, through seven portals and seven minutes. Ah, but why? SHAKRI: Serving the word of the Tally. DOCTOR: Why the cubes? Why Earth? SHAKRI: Not Earth, humanity. The Shakri will halt the human plague before the spread. DOCTOR: Erase humanity before it colonises space. We thought the cubes were an invasion. The start of war. SHAKRI: The human contagion only must be eliminated. (Rory and Amy return.) AMY: Who are you calling a contagion? DOCTOR: Oi! Didn't I tell you two to go? RORY: You should have learned by now. AMY: Yeah, and what is this Tally anyway? DOCTOR: Some people call it Judgment Day, or the Reckoning. AMY: Don't you know? DOCTOR: I've never wanted to find out. SHAKRI: Before the Closure, there is the Tally. The Shakri serves the Tally. DOCTOR: The pest controllers of the universe, that's how the tales went, isn't it? AMY: Wow. That's some seriously weird bedtime story. DOCTOR: You can talk. Wolf in your grandmother's nightdress? So, here you are, depositing slug pellets all over the Earth, made attractive so humans will collect them, hoping to find something beautiful inside. Because that's what they are. Not pests or plague, creatures of hope, forever building and reaching. Making mistakes, of course, every life form does. But, but they learn. And they strive for greater, and they achieve it. You want a tally. Put their achievements against their failings through the whole of time, I will back humanity against the Shakri every time. SHAKRI: The Tally must be met. The second wave will be released. AMY: What does that mean? DOCTOR: It's going to release more cubes to kill more people. [Hospital] KATE: Tell the Secretary General it's not just hospitals and equipment, it's people. Our best hope now is each other. [Spaceship] SHAKRI: The human plague breeding and fighting. And when cornered, their rage to destroy. You're too late, Doctor. The Tally shall be met. (The alien vanishes.) AMY: He's gone? DOCTOR: He was never really here. Just the ship's automated interface, like a talking propaganda poster. I can stop the second wave. I can disconnect all the Shakri craft from their portals, leave them drifting in the darkspace. Ah, but all those people who were near the cubes, so many of them will have died. AMY: I restarted one of your hearts. RORY: You'd need mass defibrillation. DOCTOR: Of course. Ah, beautiful. But, Ponds, Ponds. We are going to go one better than that. The Shakri used the cubes to turn people's hearts off. Bingo! We're going to use them to turn them back on again. AMY: Will that work? DOCTOR: Well, creatures of hope. Has to. (The Doctor finishes sonicking the alien computer.) DOCTOR: Thirty seconds. Don't let me down, cubes, you're working for me now. Oh dear. All these cubes. There's going to be a terrible wave of energy ricocheting around here any second. Run. RORY: I'm going to miss this. (The spaceship goes KaBOOM! The Doctor, Amy and Rory land in the corridor. All around the world, people start to get up off the ground.) [OC]: Emergency hospitals and field units are working at full capacity around the world, as millions of survivors of cardiac arrests are nursed back to health after an unprecedented night across the globe. [Tower of London] KATE: You, er, you really are as remarkable as Dad said. (She kisses the Doctor on the cheek.) KATE: Thank you. DOCTOR: My! A kiss from a Lethbridge Stewart. That is new. Oh dear, I'm late for dinner. (The Doctor salutes Kate before getting into the UNIT Range Rover. [Kitchen] (A family meal, Chinese with chopsticks.) DOCTOR: Dear me. I'd better get going. Things to do, worlds to save, swings to swing on. Look, I know, you both have lives here. Beautiful, messy lives. That is what makes you so fabulously human. You don't want to give them up. I understand. BRIAN: Actually, it's you they can't give up, Doctor. And I don't think they should. Go with him. Go save every world you can find. Who else has that chance? Life will still be here. DOCTOR: You could come, Brian. BRIAN: Somebody's got to water the plants. Just bring them back safe. AMY [OC]: So that was the year of the slow invasion, when the Earth got cubed, and the Doctor came to stay. It was also when we realised something the Shakri never understood. What cubed actually means. The power of three. (Over the view of someone using a proper old-fashioned manual typewriter and talking like a Raymond Chandler character.) GARNER [OC]: New York. The city of a million stories. Half of them are true. The other half just haven't happened yet. Statues, the man said. Living statues that moved in the dark. [Grayle's study] (On the ground floor of a rich man's home.) GRAYLE: So, will you take the case, Mister Garner? GARNER: Sure. Why not? GRAYLE: Because you don't believe me. GARNER: For twenty five dollars a day plus expenses, I'll believe any damn thing you like. GRAYLE: But you don't believe that statues can move. And you're right, Mister Garner. They can't. Of course they can't. When you're looking. (Across the street, in the rain, is a statue of a woman and child.) GARNER: Good night, Mister Grayle. (Sam Garner leaves. Grayle looks out of the window again, and the woman has vanished from the plinth across the road.) GARNER [OC]: The address Grayle gave me was an apartment block near Battery Park. He said it was where the statues lived. I asked him why he didn't go look himself. He didn't answer. Grayle was the scariest guy I knew. If something scared him, I kinda wanted to shake its hand. [Winter Quay apartments] (The building is smothered in statuary, including a Weeping Angel. A little girl looking out of a window covers her eyes, then peeks out and covers them again. The doors open for Garner and he goes inside. The Weeping Angel has removed her hands and is snarling.) GARNER: Hello? Hello? (The lift comes down for him. He steps inside and it goes up. The Angel is in the foyer.) GARNER: What the? (Garner leaves the lift and goes along the red-carpeted corridor to 702, which has the nameplate S Garner. The door is unlocked and he goes inside.) GARNER: Hello? Anyone home? (His had and coat are hanging on the rack, and his PI's id is in the wallet. Older and more dog-eared, but the same one. Then he hears someone grunting.) GARNER: Hello? (He looks at the old man in the bedroom.) GARNER: Who are you? OLD GARNER: They're coming for you. They're going to send you back. GARNER: Who's coming? Back where? OLD GARNER: In time. Back in time. I'm you. I'm you. (Garner leaves the apartment but is trapped between two Angels. There are more on the stairs below, so he runs to the roof. A giant snarling face is right behind him. Lady Liberty.) GARNER: You gotta be kiddin' me. [New York Central Park] STING: (singing) Whoa, I'm an alien. I'm a legal alien. I'm an Englishman in New York. (Picnicking near the Duck Pond.) DOCTOR: (reading) New York growled at my window, but I was ready for it. My stocking seams were straight, my lipstick was combat ready, and I was packing cleavage that could fell an ox at twenty feet. AMY: Doctor, you're doing it again. DOCTOR: I'm reading! AMY: Aloud. Please could you not? DOCTOR: There's something different about you, isn't there? RORY: What's the book? DOCTOR: Melody Malone. She's a private detective in old town New York. AMY: She's got ice in her heart and a kiss on her lips, and a vulnerable side she keeps well hidden. DOCTOR: Oh, you've read it? AMY: You read it. Aloud. And then went yowzah! RORY: Only you could fancy someone in a book. DOCTOR: I'm just reading it. I just like the cover. AMY: Ooo, can we see the cover? DOCTOR: No, no, I'm busy. It's your hair! Is it your hair? AMY: Oh, shut up. It's the glasses. I'm wearing reading glasses now, on my nose, see? There you go. DOCTOR: I don't like them. They make your eyes look all liney. No, actually, sorry. They're fine. Carry on. RORY: Okay, I'm going to go and get us some more coffee. Who wants more coffee? Me too. I'll go! AMY: Rory, do I have noticeable lines on my eyes now? DOCTOR: Yes. RORY: No. AMY: You didn't look. RORY: I noticed them earlier. Didn't notice them. I specifically remember not noticing them. AMY: You walk among fire pits, Centurion. RORY: Do I have to come over there? AMY: You can if you like. RORY: Well, we have company. AMY: I'll get a babysitter. (Rory and Amy kiss.) DOCTOR: Oh, do you know, it is so humiliating when you do that. RORY: Coffee? AMY: Coffee. DOCTOR: Can I have a go?  (The Doctor puts on Amy's reading glasses.) "DOCTOR; Oh, actually, that is much better. That is exciting." AMY: Read to me. DOCTOR: I thought you didn't like my reading aloud. AMY: Shut up, and read me a story. Just don't go yowzah. (The Doctor chuckles and tears out the last page of his book.) AMY: Why did you do that? DOCTOR: I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn't have to end. I hate endings. (He puts the page in the picnic basket.) DOCTOR: (reads) As I crossed the street, I saw the thin guy, but he didn't see me. I guess that's how it began. (Rory is walking back with the coffees past a fountain with cherubs. After he has past it, one of the cherubs is snarling, then it vanishes. A child laughs. It's giggles make Rory keep looking around.) DOCTOR: (reads) I followed the skinny guy for two more blocks before he turned and I could ask exactly what he was doing here. He looked a little scared, so I gave him my best smile and my bluest eyes. (Amy is playing Pooh sticks off the bridge.) AMY: Beware the yowzah. Do not, at this point, yowz. Doctor? What did the skinny guy say? DOCTOR: He said, 'I just went to get coffees for the Doctor and Amy. Hello, River.' [Central Park - night] RIVER: Hello, Dad. RORY: Where am I? How the hell did I get here? RIVER: I haven't the faintest idea, but you'll probably want to put your hands up. (Because the man behind him is pointing a gun straight at him. Rory puts his hands up. A big black man walks up behind River.) HOOD 1: Melody Malone? RORY: You're Melody? (A limousine pulls up.) HOOD 1: Get in. [New York] (The Doctor and Amy return to the Tardis.) AMY: What's River doing in a book? What's Rory doing in a book? DOCTOR: He went to get coffee. Pay attention. AMY: He went to get coffee and turned up in a book. How does that work? "DOCTOR; I don't know. We're in New York!" [Limousine] RORY: What is going on? [Tardis] AMY: Where did you get this book? DOCTOR: It was in my jacket. AMY: How did it get there? DOCTOR: How does anything get there. I've given up asking. Date, date. Does she mention a date? When is this happening? AMY: Yes, hang on. Oh, April 3rd, 1938. [Limousine] RIVER: You didn't come here in the Tardis, obviously. RORY: Why? RIVER: He couldn't have. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Couldn't have? What does she mean? Couldn't have? [Limousine] (Passing Grand Central Station.) RIVER: This city's full of time distortions. It'd be impossible to land the Tardis here. Like trying to land a plane in a blizzard. Even I couldn't do it. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Even who couldn't do it? AMY: Don't you two fall out, she's only in a book. DOCTOR: 1938. Easy one. (Bang! Flash! Sparks! Warning, The scanner reports Temporal Distortions Detected, then No Signal.) AMY: What was that? DOCTOR: 1938. We just bounced off it. [Limousine] RORY: So how did you get here? RIVER: Vortex manipulator. Less bulky than a Tardis. A motorbike through traffic. You? RORY: I'm not sure. [Graveyard] (The Doctor has landed so he can put out the fires in the Tardis. Nice view overlooking Manhattan.) AMY: The Weeping Angels? DOCTOR: It makes sense. AMY: It makes what? DOCTOR: That's what happened to Rory. That's what the Angels do. It's their preferred form of attack. They zap you back in time, let you live to death. AMY: Well, we've got a time machine. We can just go and get him. DOCTOR: Well, tried that, if you've noticed, and we are back where we started in 2012. AMY: We didn't start in a graveyard. What are we doing here? DOCTOR: Don't know. Probably causally linked somehow. Doesn't matter. Extractor fans on! AMY: Well, we're going to get there somehow. We're in the rest of the book. DOCTOR: Doing what? AMY: Page 43, you're going to break something. DOCTOR: I'm what? AMY: (reads) 'Why do you have to break mine', I asked the Doctor. He frowned and said, 'Because Amy read it in a book and now I have no choice.' DOCTOR: Stop! No! No! Stop! You can't read ahead. You mustn't. And you can't do that. AMY: But we've already been reading it. DOCTOR: Just the stuff that's happening now, in parallel with us. That's as far as we go. AMY: But it could help us find Rory. DOCTOR: And if you read ahead and find that Rory dies? This isn't any old future, Amy, it's ours. Once we know what's coming, it's fixed. 0 I'm going to break something, because you told me that I'm going to do it. No choice now. AMY: Time can be rewritten. DOCTOR: Not once you've read it. Once we know what's coming, it's written in stone. (Like the gravestone nearby that says In Loving Memory Rory Arthur Williams.) [Grayle's entrance hall] (River spots a china vase.) RIVER: Ah. Early Qin dynasty, I'd say. GRAYLE: Correct. Are you an archaeologist as well as a detective? [Tardis] DOCTOR: Okay, landing a plane in a timey wimey blizzard. I could push through, but if I'm out by a nanosecond, the engines will phase and I'll shatter the planet. I need landing lights. AMY: Landing lights? DOCTOR: Yes, I need a signal to lock on to. What did she say? Early what dynasty? [Grayle's entrance hall] GRAYLE: Early Qin, just as you say. You're very well informed. RIVER: And you're very afraid. That's an awful lot of locks for one door. RORY: River, I'm translating. (Chinese characters resolve themselves into English for Rory.) RIVER: It's a gift of the Tardis. It hangs around.  GRAYLE: This one. Put him somewhere uncomfortable. HOOD 1: With the babies, sir? GRAYLE: Yes, why not? Give him to the babies. [Grayle's cellar] (The hoodlum throws Rory down the stairs.) HOOD 1: The lights are out. You'll last longer with these. (He throws down a box of matches.) RORY: What do you care? HOOD 1: It's funnier. (Childish giggling.) RORY: Hello? [China 221 BC] (In a plate decorating workshop.) DOCTOR: Ah, hello, yes. (The Doctor flashes his psychic paper.) DOCTOR: Special commission from the Emperor. [Grayle's study] (As Grayle helps River off with her mackintosh, she spots the word Yowzah on one of the vases.) RIVER: Hello, sweetie. Let's see, crime boss with a collecting fetish. Whatever you don't let anyone else see has got to be your favourite. Or possibly your girlfriend. (River pulls the curtains to reveal a snarling Angel with manacles and chains on it.) RIVER: So, girlfriend, then. (River starts tapping on her Vortex manipulator keypad.) GRAYLE: What are you doing? RIVER: Oh, you know, texting a boy. [Tardis] (Yowzah comes up on the scanner.) DOCTOR: Landing lights. We have a signal. Locking on. [Grayle's study] GRAYLE: These things are all over, but people don't seem to notice. It never moves while you're looking. RIVER: Oh, I know how they work. GRAYLE: So I understand. Melody Malone, the detective who investigates Angels. RIVER: Badly damaged. GRAYLE: I wanted to know if it could feel pain. RIVER: You realise it's screaming? The others can hear. Is that why you need all the locks? (Grayle turns out the lights briefly, and the Angel grabs River's wrist.) GRAYLE: You're going to tell me all about these creatures. And you're going to do it quickly. (Out go the lights again.) [Grayle's cellar] (Rory lights a match. There is the sound of childish laughter and small feet running.) RORY: Hello, is someone there? (Yes, there are little cherubs closing in each time a match burns out.) RORY: Come on, come on. (Then one is close enough to blow the match out.) [Grayle's study] RIVER: The Angels are predators. They're deadly. What do you want with them? GRAYLE: I'm a collector. What collector could resist these? I'm only human. RIVER: That's exactly what they're thinking. (Then all the lights go out.) GRAYLE: What's that? What's happening? Is it an earthquake? (The wheezing sound of a struggling Type 40 can be heard, and papers start blowing around.) GRAYLE: What is it? RIVER: Oh, you bad boy. You could burn New York. GRAYLE: What does that mean? RIVER: It means, Mister Grayle, just you wait till my husband gets home. (The Tardis lands with a thud, knocking down Grayle and breaking the Chinese vase.) [Tardis] AMY: Come on! DOCTOR: Just a moment. Final checks. AMY: Since when? (The Doctor checks his appearance in a brass plate that says - Type FD 12 Mk VII Rolls Royce Motors, Crewe, England.) [Grayle's entrance hall] (Amy runs out and up the stairs.) AMY: Rory? Rory? Rory? DOCTOR: Sorry I'm late, honey. Traffic was hell. Shock. He'll be fine. [Grayle's study] RIVER: Not if I can get loose. DOCTOR: So where are we now, Doctor Song? How's prison? RIVER: Oh, I was pardoned ages ago. And it's Professor Song to you. DOCTOR: Pardoned? RIVER: Mmm. Turns out the person I killed never existed in the first place. Apparently, there's no record of him. It's almost as if someone's gone around deleting himself from every database in the universe. DOCTOR: You said I got too big. RIVER: And now no one's ever heard of you. Didn't you used to be somebody? DOCTOR: Weren't you the woman who killed the Doctor? RIVER: Doctor who? DOCTOR: She's holding you very tight. RIVER: At least she didn't send me back in time. DOCTOR: I doubt she's strong enough. RIVER: Well, I need a hand back, so which is it going to be? Are you going to break my wrist or hers? Oh, no. Really? Why do you have to break mine? DOCTOR: Because Amy read it in a book, and now I have no choice. (Amy is standing in the doorway.) DOCTOR: You see? RIVER: What book? DOCTOR: Your book. Which you haven't written yet, so we can't read. RIVER: I see. I don't like the cover much. AMY: But if River's going to write that book, she'd make it useful, yeah? RIVER: I'll certainly try. But we can't read ahead, it's too dangerous. AMY: I know, but there must be something we can look at. DOCTOR: What, a page of handy hints, previews, spoiler free? AMY: Chapter titles. (The Doctor scans the page of chapter titles - Chapter 9, Calling the Doctor, Chapter 10, The Roman in the Cellar, Chapter 11, Death at Winter Quay.) DOCTOR: He's in the cellar. AMY: Gimme! (The Doctor throws the sonic screwdriver to Amy, kisses River and starts to leave.) RIVER: Doctor? Doctor, what is it? What's wrong? Tell me. Doctor? Doctor, what is it, tell me. (Chapter 12 - Amelia's Last Farewell.) RIVER: Okay, I know that face. Calm down. Calm down! Talk to me. Doctor!  DOCTOR: No! Get your wrist out. You get your wrist out without breaking it! RIVER: How? DOCTOR: I don't know. Just do it. Change the future! [Grayle's cellar] AMY: Rory? DOCTOR: No! They're Angels. Baby Angels. AMY: Did they get Rory? Where is he? Did they take him? DOCTOR: Yes, I think so, yes. (They run back up the stairs. Rory is near Winter Quay.) [Grayle's entrance hall] AMY: So, is this what's going to happen? We just keep chasing him and they keep pulling him further back? RIVER: He isn't back in time. I'm reading a displacement, but there are no temporal markers. He's been moved in space, not in time, and it's not that far from here by the look of it. DOCTOR: You got out. AMY: So, where is he? DOCTOR: Well, come on, come on, come on, where is he? RIVER: If it was that easy, I'd get you to do it. DOCTOR: How did you get your wrist out without breaking it? RIVER: You asked, I did. Problem? DOCTOR: You just changed the future. RIVER: It's called marriage, honey. Now, hush, I'm working. (River's right arm is just hanging by her side.) DOCTOR: She's good, have you noticed? Really, really good. RIVER: Ah, wherever it is, it's within a few blocks. There's a car out front. Shall we steal it? DOCTOR: Show me! (The Doctor grabs River's hand and she gasps in pain. It is broken. Meanwhile, Rory is getting into the lift at Winter Quay.) "DOCTOR; Okay, when all those numbers on both units go to zero, that's when we've got a lock, okay? It's how we find Rory." AMY: Got it. DOCTOR: Why did you lie to me? RIVER: When one's in love with an ageless god who insists on the face of a twelve year old, one does one's best to hide the damage. DOCTOR: It must hurt. Come here. RIVER: Yes. The wrist is pretty bad too. (The Doctor transfers golden energy to River's hand.) RIVER: No. No. No, stop that. Stop that. Stop it! DOCTOR: There you go. How's that? (He kisses River's hand.) RIVER: Well, let's see, shall we? (She slaps his face.) RIVER: That was a stupid waste of regeneration energy. Nothing is gained by you being a sentimental idiot. DOCTOR: River RIVER: No, you embarrass me. DOCTOR: River! (River walks outside.) AMY: Tell you what. Stick to the science part. [Outside Grayle's home] AMY: Okay, why did you lie? RIVER: Never let him see the damage. And never, ever let him see you age. He doesn't like endings. [Grayle's entrance hall] (Beep!) DOCTOR: There you are. [Outside Grayle's home] DOCTOR: Got it. He's at a place called Winter Quay. The car, yes? Let's go. (They drive off, watched by the mother and son statues who then notice that Grayle's front door is ajar. When he wakes up, they confront Grayle. At Winter Quay, an apartment door opens before Rory can touch the handle, and he goes inside. There are Angels in the corridor.) [Limousine] RIVER: Why would they send him here? Why not zap him back in time, like they normally do? DOCTOR: We'll know that when we know what this place is. AMY: Winter Quay. [Winter Quay apartments] (Up in the lift.) AMY: Rory? RIVER: He's close. AMY: Rory! (Apartment 802) AMY: Rory! RORY: Amy. RIVER: Doctor, look at this. Why is it smiling? (The Doctor seems the nameplate by the door - R Williams.) DOCTOR: Amy. Rory! [Apartment 802] DOCTOR: Get out of here! Don't look at anything. Don't touch AMY: Who's that? (An old man in the bed. He points at them, very 2001 A Space Odyssey.) OLD RORY: Amy. Amy, please. Amy, please. Please. AMY: Rory? He's you. OLD RORY: Amy. (Old Rory dies.) RORY: Will someone please tell me what is going on? DOCTOR: I'm sorry, Rory, but you just died. (Chapter 11 Death at Winter Quay.) DOCTOR: This place is policed by Angels. Every time you try to escape, you get zapped back in time. AMY: So this place belongs to the Angels? They built it? "DOCTOR; Displacing someone back in time creates time energy, and that is what the Angels feed on. But normally, it's a one off, a hit and run. If they could keep hold of their victims, feed off their time energy over and over again. This place is a farm. A battery farm. How many Angels in New York?" RIVER: It's like they've taken over every statue in the city. DOCTOR: The Angels take Manhattan because they can, because they've never had a food source like this one. The city that never sleeps. (Slow heavy footsteps outside the window.) RORY: What was that? DOCTOR: I don't know. But I think they're coming for you. RORY: What does that mean? What is going to happen to me? What is physically going to happen? DOCTOR: The Angels will come for you. They'll zap you back in time to this very spot, thirty, forty years ago. And you'll live out the rest of your life in this room, until you die in that bed. RORY: And will Amy be there? DOCTOR: No. AMY: How do you know? DOCTOR: Because he was so pleased to see you again. RORY: Okay. Well, they haven't taken me yet. What if I just run? What if I just get the hell out of here? Then that never happens. "DOCTOR; It's already happened. Rory, you've just witnessed your own future." RIVER: Doctor, he's right. DOCTOR: No, he isn't. RIVER: If Rory got out, it would create a paradox. (Still the slow heavy footsteps.) AMY: What is that? RIVER: This is the Angels' food source. The paradox poisons the well. It could kill them all. This whole place would literally unhappen. DOCTOR: It would be almost impossible. RIVER: Loving the almost. DOCTOR: But to create a paradox like that takes almost unimaginable power. What have we got, eh? Tell me. Come on, what? AMY: I won't let them take him. That's what we've got. RORY: Whatever that thing is, it's getting closer. DOCTOR: Rory, even if you got out, you'd have to keep running for the rest of your life. They would be chasing you for ever. AMY: Well, then. Better get started. (She opens the apartment door. There is an Angel outside.) AMY: Husband, run! (Amy and Rory run past the Angels. The lights flicker.) DOCTOR: River, I'm not sure this can work. RIVER: Husband, shut up. (An Angel blocks the doorway. The light flickers again and they are in the room.) [Apartment stairwell] (Amy and Rory run downstairs and meet Angels.) AMY: Up! RORY: What good's up? AMY: Better than down! [Apartment 802] (The Doctor sonicks the light bulb to keep it on. He and River are surrounded by Angels.) DOCTOR: We can't keep doing this. RIVER: Any ideas? DOCTOR: Yeah, the usual. Run! (Amy and Rory make it on to the roof, where the Lady is waiting for them. The Doctor and River see the Angels on the stairs.) DOCTOR: Okay! Fire escape. [Winter Quay roof] RORY: I always wanted to visit the Statue Of Liberty. I guess she got impatient. (Rory runs to the opposite edge, behind Amy's back.) AMY: What? What is it, what? RORY: Just keep your eyes on that. AMY: Is there a way down? RORY: Er, no. But there's a way out. (Rory climbs up onto the ledge.) AMY: What are you doing? Rory, what are you doing? (Amy turns around and goes to him.) AMY: Rory, stop it. You'll die. RORY: Yeah, twice, in the same building on the same night. Who else could do that? AMY: Just come down, please. RORY: This is the right thing to do. This will work. If I die now, it's a paradox, right? The paradox kills the Angels. Tell me I'm wrong. Go on, please, because I'm really scared. Oh, great. The one time you can't manage it. Amy, I'm going to need a little help here. (Rory takes Amy's hand and puts it on his chest.) AMY: Just stop it! RORY: Just think it through. This will work, this will kill the Angels. AMY: It'll kill you too. RORY: Will it? River said that this place would be erased from time, never existed. If this place never existed, what did I fall off? AMY: You think you'll come back to life? RORY: When don't I? AMY: Rory. RORY: And anyway, what else is there? Dying of old age downstairs, never seeing you again? Amy, please. If you love me, then trust me, and push. AMY: I can't. RORY: You have to! AMY: Could you? If it was me, could you do it? RORY: To save you, I'd do anything. (Amy gets up on the ledge next to Rory.) AMY: Prove it. RORY: No, I can't take you too. AMY: You said we'd come back to life. Money where your mouth is time. RORY: Amy, look. AMY: Shut up. Together, or not at all. (The Doctor and River arrive via the fire escape.) DOCTOR: What the hell are you doing! AMY: Changing the future. It's called marriage. (Gazing into each others eyes, Amy and Rory fall off Winter Quay.) DOCTOR: Amy! Amy! (Balls of energy gather and flicker around the roof.) RIVER: Doctor! What's happening? DOCTOR: The paradox. It's working! The paradox is working! (Whiteout.) [Graveyard] (Rory and Amy sit up.) RORY: Where are we? DOCTOR: Back where we started. You collapsed the timeline. The paradox worked. We all pinged back where we belong. RORY: What, in a graveyard? AMY: This happened the last time. Why always here? DOCTOR: Does it matter? We got lucky. We could've blown New York off the planet. I can't ever take the Tardis back there. The timelines are too scrambled. I could have lost you both. Don't ever do that again. RORY: What did we do? We fixed it. We solved the problem. DOCTOR: I was talking to myself. (The Tardis has a bit of fire extinguisher damage. River appears from behind it with a bucket of water and a rag.) RIVER: It could do with a repaint. DOCTOR: I've been busy. RIVER: Does the bulb on top need changing? DOCTOR: I just changed it. RIVER: So. Rory and Amy, then. DOCTOR: Yes. I know, I know. RIVER: I'm just saying. They're going to get terribly bored hanging round here all day. RORY: Doctor. DOCTOR: Ha! RORY: Look, next time, could we could just go to the pub? DOCTOR: I want go to the pub right now. Are there video games there? I love video games. RIVER: Right. Family outing, then. (The Doctor and River go into the Tardis. Rory hangs back.) RORY: Amy, come and see this. AMY: What? RORY: There's a gravestone here for someone with the same name as me. AMY: What? (Rory vanishes. There was an Angel behind him.) AMY: Doctor! (The Doctor and River run out of the Tardis.) RIVER: Where the hell did that come from? DOCTOR: It's a survivor. Very weak, but keep your eyes on it. AMY: Where's Rory? (The Doctor sees Rory's gravestone - aged 82.) DOCTOR: I'm sorry. Amelia, I'm so, so sorry. AMY: No. No, we can just go and get him in the Tardis. One more paradox. DOCTOR: Would rip New York apart. AMY: No, that's not true. I don't believe you. RIVER: Mother, it's true. DOCTOR: Amy, what are you doing? AMY: That gravestone, Rory's, there's room for one more name, isn't there? DOCTOR: What are you talking about? Back away from the Angel. Come back to the Tardis. We'll figure something out. AMY: The Angel, would it send me back to the same time? To him? DOCTOR: I don't know. Nobody knows. AMY: But it's my best shot, yeah? DOCTOR: No! RIVER: Doctor, shut up. Yes. Yes, it is. DOCTOR: Amy. AMY: Well, then. I just have to blink, right? DOCTOR: No! AMY: It'll be fine. I know it will. I'll be with him, like I should be. Me and Rory together. Melody? DOCTOR: Stop it. Just, just stop it! (River takes Amy's hand and kisses it.) AMY: You look after him. You be a good girl, and you look after him. DOCTOR: You are creating fixed time. I will never be able to see you again. AMY: I'll be fine. I'll be with him. DOCTOR: Amy, please, just come back into the Tardis. Come along, Pond, please. AMY: Raggedy man, goodbye! (Amy turns her back on the Angel, and vanishes. Rory's gravestone gains more words - And His Loving Wife Amelia Williams aged 87.) DOCTOR: No! [Tardis] (River is flying the Tardis while the Doctor is inconsolable.) DOCTOR: River, they were your parents. I'm sorry, I didn't think. RIVER: It doesn't matter. DOCTOR: Of course it matters. RIVER: What matters is this. Doctor, don't travel alone. DOCTOR: Travel with me, then. RIVER: Whenever and wherever you want. But not all the time. One psychopath per Tardis, don't you think? Okay. This book I've got to write. Melody Malone. I presume I send it to Amy to get it published? DOCTOR: Yes. Yes. RIVER: I'll tell her to write an afterword. For you. Maybe you'll listen to her. (River leaves him alone.) DOCTOR: The last page! [Central Park] (The picnic hamper is still there, with the last page in it. He puts on Amy's reading glasses again.) AMY [OC]: Afterword, by Amelia Williams. Hello, old friend. And here we are, you and me, on the last page. By the time you read these words, Rory and I will be long gone. So know that we lived well, and were very happy. And above all else, know that we will love you always. Sometimes I do worry about you, though. I think once we're gone, you won't be coming back here for a while, and you might be alone, which you should never be. Don't be alone, Doctor. And do one more thing for me. There's a little girl waiting in a garden. She's going to wait a long while, so she's going to need a lot of hope. Go to her. Tell her a story. Tell her that if she's patient, the days are coming that she'll never forget. Tell her she'll go to sea and fight pirates. She'll fall in love with a man who'll wait two thousand years to keep her safe. Tell her she'll give hope to the greatest painter who ever lived and save a whale in outer space. Tell her this is the story of Amelia Pond. And this how it ends. P.S. by Chris Chibnall (a webisode.) The scene that was never shot. [Kitchen - end of Power of Three] (During the meal with Brian, the Doctor puts his arms around Amy and Rory.) DOCTOR: I know. You both have lives here. Beautiful, messy lives. That is what makes you so fabulously human. You don't want to give them up. I understand. BRIAN:  Actually, it's you they can't give up, Doctor. And I don't think they should. Go with him. Go save every world you can find. Who else has that chance? Life will still be here. DOCTOR: You could come, Brian. BRIAN: Somebody's got to water the plants. The rest is words over a storyboard presentation, with plaintive music to tug at our heartstrings.). [Int: Rory & Amy's house/hall - sunset]. ( Brian is watering the plants. He stops and looks around. The emptiness of the house, the absence of Amy and Rory. The doorbell rings on Brian - strange... He opens the door and finds a man - Anthony, in his mid-sixties. Wearing an old-fashioned suit. A New York accent.} ANTHONY: Mr Brian Williams? BRIAN: Yes. How did you know I was here? This isn't my house. ANTHONY: This is for you. (He holds out an envelope with Dad written on it.) BRIAN: I don't understand. ANTHONY: You should read it. I'll wait. {He walks in, past a bemused Brian.} [Int: Rory & Amy's house/lounge - sunset.] (Brian is on the sofa. He opens the letter.} RORY [OC]:  Dear Dad. This is the difficult bit. If I've got this right, you're reading this letter a week after we left in the Tardis. Er, the thing is, we're not coming back. We're alive and well, and stuck in New York, fifty years before I was born. We can't come home again. I won't ever see you again, and that breaks my heart. I'm so sorry, Dad. I thought about this for years, and I realised there was one thing I could do. I could write to you. Tell you everything about how we lived. How despite it all, we were happy. But before I do, I need you to know, you are the best dad any son could've had, and for all of the times I've drove you mad, and you drove me mad, all the times I snapped at you, I'm sorry. I miss everything about you. Especially our awkward hugs. I bought a trowel! We have a small yard. I garden. {A photograph of Rory, Amy, and a baby sitting on a sofa.} RORY [OC]: But one more important bit of business. The man who delivered the letter... Anthony. Be nice to him, because he's your grandson. [Int: Rory & Amy's house/hall - sunset] (Brian walks out into the hall, slowly approaching Anthony.} RORY [OC]: We finally adopted in 1946. Anthony Brian Williams. He can tell you everything. He'll have the family albums, and I realise having a grandson who's older than you is so far beyond weird, but I'm sorry. I love you, Dad. I miss you. {Brian stands in front of Anthony. Anthony holds out his hand.} ANTHONY: How d'you do, sir? {Brian, so affected, so stunned. We close over sketch of them hugging.} [Playground] GIRL: Hello. DOCTOR: Hello. GIRL: Why are you sitting on a swing? DOCTOR: Why shouldn't I? GIRL: Because you're old. DOCTOR: Yes, that's true. That is very true. GIRL: My mum says I shouldn't talk to strange men. DOCTOR: Ah, you mum's right. GIRL: Are you strange? DOCTOR: Oh, dear. I'm way past strange. I think I'm probably incredible. GIRL: Are you lonely? DOCTOR: Why would I be lonely? GIRL: Because you're sad. Have you lost something? DOCTOR: No. GIRL: When I lose something, I go to a quiet place and I close my eyes, and then I can remember where I put it. DOCTOR: Good plan. GIRL: I'm always losing things. I lost my best pencil, my schoolbag, and my gran, and my mojo. DOCTOR: Your mojo? GIRL: I got it back, though. DOCTOR: Hey, that's good. GIRL: What did you lose? DOCTOR: My friend. I met her twice before and I lost her both times, and now I don't think I'll ever find her again. GIRL: Have you been looking? DOCTOR: Yeah, everywhere. GIRL: That's sad. DOCTOR: It is a bit. Hey, is that your mum? GIRL: Yeah, I'd better go and see if she's all right. DOCTOR: Yeah, I think you better had. GIRL: How are you going to find her? DOCTOR: Well, the first two times I met her, I just sort of bumped into her, so I thought maybe if I just wandered about a bit, I might bump into her again. You know, like destiny, sort of. GIRL: That's rubbish. DOCTOR: Yeah, I think it probably is. Hey, maybe I could find a quiet room and have a good think about it instead. GIRL: That would be better. Goodbye. DOCTOR: Goodbye. GIRL: Mister, I hope you find her again. DOCTOR: So do I. MUM: Who was that? GIRL: I was talking to a sad man. MUM: Look, Clara Oswald, what have I told you about talking to strange men? (Over images of people connecting to a red wifi linking the whole planet, via desktops, laptops, phones, etc. is a man on a staticky screen.) NABILE: Danger. This is a warning. A warning to the whole world. You're looking for wifi. Sometimes you see something. (He holds up a card with seven strange symbols.) NABILE: A bit like this. Don't click it. Do not click it. Once you've clicked it, they're in your computer. (A whole slew of weird symbols in the available connections list.) NABILE: They can see you. And they can see you, they might choose you. And if they do, you die. For twenty four hours, you're dead. For a while. People's souls are being uploaded to the internet. And some people get stuck. Their minds, their souls, in the wifi. Like echoes, like ghosts. Sometimes you can hear their screams on the radio, on the telly, on the net. This is real. This is not a hoax. MAN 2 [on screen]: I don't know where I am. NABILE: Or a joke. (A Japanese woman on a laptop screen.) NABILE: Or a story. MAN 3 [on screen]: I don't know where I am. NABILE: This is real, and I know that, because I don't know where I am. Please, please, if you can hear me, if you can hear me, I don't know where I am. (We pull out to a display of lots of screens of people saying they don't know where they are.) [Cumbria 1207] (A monk hammers on the doors of a monastery.) MONK: Wake the Abbott. The bells of Saint John are ringing. [Courtyard] ABBOTT: We must go to him. [Tunnel] MONK: They call him the mad monk, don't they. ABBOTT: They shouldn't. He's definitely not a monk. [Room] ABBOTT: Ahem. I'm sorry to intrude, but the bells of Saint John are ringing. DOCTOR: I'm going to need a horse. (There is a portrait on an easel.) MONK: Is that her? ABBOTT: The woman twice dead, and her final message. He was drawn to this place of peace and solitude that he might divine her meaning. If he truly is mad, then this is his madness. (The message on the portrait is, of course, Run you clever boy and remember.) [Maitland home] (The present day version of the portrait is on her phone.) CLARA: Angie? Is the internet working? Trying to phone the helpline, they won't answer. ANGIE: It's working for me. CLARA: Can I use it when you're finished? ANGIE: More than one person can use the internet at a time, Clara. CLARA: You done your homework? ANGIE: Shut up, you're not my mum. CLARA: And I'm not trying to be, okay? (The father enters with his son, who hands him the car keys.) GEORGE: Right. Yes. Angie's probably fine on her own. You can probably have the night off. CLARA: I'm okay. I'll be upstairs when I figure out my computer. GEORGE: Anyway, the adverts are in, so hopefully we'll find someone. CLARA: I'm here as long as you need me. GEORGE: Good. Right, come along, Artie. Time to go. (Clara takes the book Artie is holding. Summer Falls by Amelia Williams. The late Mrs Amy Williams of New York, perchance?) CLARA: What chapter are you on? ARTIE: Ten. CLARA: Eleven is the best. You'll cry your eyes out. FATHER [OC]: Artie! (Artie leaves. Clara returns to her phone.) CLARA: Oh, come on! Just answer. Pick it up. Pick it up. Pick it up. (She goes upstairs to her room, which is converted attic space. Clara stabs at her laptop to get the available wifi list up. Just two - Maitland_Family and the weird symbols.) [Cavern] (A telephone is ringing in the woods. The Doctor's escorts have brought him to a stone built entrance to an underground cavern. The Tardis is here.) DOCTOR: That is not supposed to happen. (He opens the little door next to the St John Ambulance symbol and answers the phone.) DOCTOR: Hello? [Clara's room] CLARA: Ah, hello. I can't find the internet. [Cavern] DOCTOR: Sorry? CLARA [OC]: It's gone, the internet. [Clara's room] CLARA: Can't find it anywhere. Where is it? [Cavern] DOCTOR: The internet? CLARA [OC]: Yes, the internet. [Clara's room] CLARA: Why don't I have the internet? [Cavern] DOCTOR: It's twelve oh seven. [Clara's room] CLARA: I've got half past three. Am I phoning a different time zone? [Cavern] DOCTOR: Yeah, you really sort of are. CLARA [OC]: Will it show up on the bill? DOCTOR: Oh, I dread to think. Listen, where did you get this number? CLARA [OC]: The woman in the shop wrote it down. [Clara's room] CLARA: It's a help line, isn't it? She said it's the best help line out there. [Cavern] CLARA [OC]: In the universe, she said. DOCTOR: What woman? Who was she? CLARA [OC]: I don't know. The woman in the shop. So [Clara's room] CLARA: Why isn't there internet? Shouldn't it sort of [Cavern] CLARA [OC]: Be there? DOCTOR: Look, listen, I'm not actually, it isn't. You have clicked on the wifi button, yeah? [Clara's room] CLARA: Hang on. Wifi. DOCTOR [OC]: Click on the wifi, you'll see a list of names. You see one you recognise. CLARA: It's asking me for a password. ANGIE: Is it okay if I go and see Nina? You can call her mum. CLARA: Sure. What's the password for the internet? ANGIE: R Y C B A R 1 2 3. CLARA: How am I supposed to remember that? [Cavern] MONK: Is it an evil spirit? DOCTOR: A woman. (The monk crosses himself.) CLARA [OC]: Hang on. [Clara's room] CLARA: A mo. Run you clever boy and remember one two three [Cavern] (The Doctor does remember.) DOCTOR: What did you say? [Clara's room] CLARA: Don't shout. Now you've made me type it wrong. It's thrown me out again. What do I do? How do I get back in? (Clara clicks on the symbols wifi, and lots more pop up. The local red line whizzes up the road.) [Somewhere] CLARA [on screen]: It's just a thing to remember the password, run you clever boy and remember. Hang on. (Clara leaves her screen amongst the masses of frantic people.) [Maitland home] CLARA: Hello? Yes, I hear you. (Someone is frantically hammering on the door and ringing the bell.) CLARA: Yep. Ah ha. (She opens the door to the Doctor.) CLARA: Hello. DOCTOR: Clara. Clara Oswald. CLARA: Hello. DOCTOR: Clara Oswin Oswald. CLARA: Just Clara Oswald. What was that middle one? DOCTOR: Do you remember me? CLARA: No. Should I? Who are you? DOCTOR: The Doctor. No? The Doctor? CLARA: Doctor who? DOCTOR: No, just the Doctor. Actually, sorry, could you start all that again? CLARA: Could I what? DOCTOR: Could you just ask me that question again? CLARA: Doctor who? DOCTOR: Okay, just once more. CLARA: Doctor who? DOCTOR: Ooo, yeah. Ooo. Do you know, I never realised how much I enjoy hearing that said out loud. Thank you. CLARA: Okay. (And shuts the door on him.) DOCTOR: Hey, no, Clara, please. Clara, I need to talk to you. Listen. Please. [Office] ALEXEI: Clara Oswald. We've got a positive lock on her, but I think she's borderline. Very clever but no computer skills. (The lady in charge gives her decision.) KIZLET: Upload her anyway. Splice her a computer skills package. ALEXEI: I'll activate a spoonhead. (A Cardassian?) KIZLET: Alexei, we call them servers, not spoonheads. ALEXEI: Sorry. Excuse me. KIZLET: I'm ever so fond of Alexei, but my conscience says we should probably kill him. MAHLER: I'll inform HR. KIZLET: Actually, he's about to go on holiday. Kill him when he gets back. Let's not be unreasonable. (They enter her office via a short staircase.) [Miss Kizlet's office] (They are very high up, looking straight out towards the Gherkin in the City of London.) KIZLET: Didn't you want to speak to me? MAHLER: We're uploading too many people too quickly. We're going to get noticed. KIZLET: If your conscience is bothering you, think of it like this. We're preserving living minds in permanent form in the data cloud. It's like immortality, only fatal. (She scrolls through photographs on her iPad until she gets to his. There are four sliders under it, conscience, paranoia, obedience and IQ.) MAHLER: My conscience is fine. KIZLET: Good. Because our client has his needs. (She lowers his conscience slider to zero and ups the paranoia.) MAHLER: Did you just hack me? KIZLET: Because you changed your mind? MAHLER: I hope I did. (She drops his paranoia back down again as he leaves, then back up.) [Maitland home] DOCTOR: Please, I just need to speak to you. (Clara turns on the door intercom.) CLARA: Why are you still here? Why are you here at all? DOCTOR [on screen]: Oi, you phoned me. You were looking for the internet. CLARA: That was you? [Outside the Maitland home] DOCTOR: Of course it was me. CLARA [OC]: How did you get here so fast? [Maitland home] DOCTOR [on screen]: I just happened to be in the neighbourhood, on my mobile phone. CLARA: When you say mobile phone, why do you point at that blue box? DOCTOR [on screen]: Because it's a surprisingly accurate description. CLARA: Okay, we're finished now. DOCTOR [OC]: Oi, no, don't. (There is the creak of a floorboard then a door closing upstairs.) CLARA: Angie? Angie, you upstairs? Angie, you still here? (A young girl walks down the stairs. The young girl from the cover of the book.) CLARA: Hello. GIRL: Hello. CLARA: Are you a friend of Angie's? GIRL: I'm a friend of Angie's. CLARA: What were you doing upstairs? GIRL: I was upstairs. CLARA: I know you, don't I? GIRL: You know me, don't you. (Clara remembers, then the girl starts to turn her head. It goes around 180 degrees to reveal a concave metallic back to her skull. A spoonhead?) [Tardis] DOCTOR: Right. Don't be a monk. Monks are not cool. (He goes to the cabinets below the time rotor and starts throwing garments around. He finds his fez, then changes into a white shirt and knee length coat. The bow tie is in a wooden box.) [Outside the Maitland home] DOCTOR: Ah ha! Clara! Clara? CLARA [OC]: Hello? DOCTOR: Ah, see? Look, it's me. De-monked. Sensible clothes. Can I come in now? CLARA [OC]: I don't understand. DOCTOR: You just open the door. CLARA [OC]: I don't know. [Maitland home] DOCTOR: Of course you can. [Outside the Maitland home] CLARA [OC]: Where I am. I don't know where I am. Where am I? Please tell me where I am. I don't know where I am. (The Doctor sonicks his way in.) [Maitland home] CLARA [OC]: I don't know where I am. I don't know where I am! (Clara is lying unconscious on the floor.) DOCTOR: Clara? Clara? CLARA [OC]: I don't know where I am. I don't know where I am. I don't understand. I don't know where I am! I don't understand. I don't know where I am. (Clara is visible in the spoonhead's dish.) CLARA [OC]: Where am I? I don't know where I am. (The Doctor raises his sonic screwdriver.) [Office] (Alexei gets an alert on his screen. Error 62%) ALEXEI: I've got a problem. [Maitland home] (Under the sonic onslaught, the girl turns into a metal robot.) DOCTOR: Walking base station. Walking wifi base station. Hoovering up data. Hoovering up people. [Clara's room] (He closes her laptop and takes it with him.) DOCTOR: Oh no, you don't. [Maitland home] (Downstairs, he types in rapid commands.) DOCTOR: Oh no, you don't. [Office] ALEXEI: Looks like someone is trying to reverse an upload. KIZLET: Is that possible? MAHLER: The upload isn't fully integrated yet. In theory, yes. (The upload indicator reverses.) ALEXEI: Oh, my god. (He starts typing.) [Maitland home] DOCTOR: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not this time, Clara, I promise. (The battle of the gibberish continues.) [Office] MAHLER: Can you stop this? ALEXEI: No. (The red lines vanish from a large part of London.) [Maitland home] (A stream of energy from the mobile base station goes into Clara's head and she wakes up.) DOCTOR: Okay. It's okay, it's okay. You're fine. You're back. Yes, you are. Oh yes, you are. [Kizlet's office] (Night. Miss Kizlet is pacing when Mahler enters.) KIZLET: Well? MAHLER: Our hacker sent a message. (He brings it up on the big wall screen. UNDER MY PROTECTION - The Doctor.) MAHLER: I assume he's talking about the girl. KIZLET: Get out. I have to speak to the client. (Mahler leaves. Miss Kizlet changes channels on the screen.) KIZLET: Sir. The one you told me about, he's here. The Doctor is here. [Outside the Maitland home] (While Clara sleeps, the Doctor puts a glass and jug of water on her bedside table, then some flowers in a mug. No water for them. And finally, an entire packet of jammy dodgers. He takes a bite out of one of them, and savours it. Then he spots an old book - 101 Places To See - which she has had since she was 9 years old. She is now at least 24. Inside the first page is a pressed maple leaf. He tastes the leaf, then puts it and the book back and leave the room. Clara wakes, sees the half eaten biscuit and sits up. She looks out of the little attic window, down to where the Doctor has set up a chair and table outside the Tardis, and is using her laptop. He has what is either a gizmo or partly disassembled spoonhead in front of him.) CLARA: Hello? DOCTOR: Hello! Are you all right? CLARA: I'm in bed. DOCTOR: Yes. CLARA: Don't remember going. DOCTOR: No. CLARA: What did I miss? DOCTOR: Oh, quite a lot, actually. Angie called. She's going to stay over at Nina's. Apparently that's all completely fine and you shouldn't worry like you always do. For god's sake get off her back. Also, your dad phoned, mainly about the government. He seems very cross with them, I've got several pages on that. I said I'd look into it. I fixed that rattling noise in the washing machine, indexed the kitchen cupboards, optimised photosynthesis in the main flower bed and assembled a quadricycle. CLARA: Assembled a what? DOCTOR: I found a disassembled quadricycle in the garage. CLARA: I don't think you did. DOCTOR: I invented the quadricycle. Ha! CLARA: What happened to me? DOCTOR: Don't you remember? CLARA: I was scared, really scared. Didn't know where I was. DOCTOR: Do you know now? CLARA: Yes. DOCTOR: Well then, you should go to sleep. Because you're safe now, I promise. Goodnight, Clara. CLARA: Are you guarding me? DOCTOR: Well, yes. Yes, I am. CLARA: Are you seriously going to sit down there all night? DOCTOR: I promise I won't budge from this spot. CLARA: Well then, I'll have to come to you. DOCTOR: Eh? [Office] (Alexei has a view of the Maitland home with the Tardis on his screen.) KIZLET: I take it the girl's inside, and alive? ALEXEI: Yes. KIZLET: Alexei, I need you to do something creative about that. (She hacks his IQ up to the max.) [Outside the Maitland home] (Clara brings a chair out, and two mugs.) DOCTOR: I like your house. CLARA: It isn't mine. I'm a friend of the family. DOCTOR: But you look after the kids. Oh yes, you're a governess, aren't you, just like CLARA: Just like what? DOCTOR: Just like. I thought you probably would be. CLARA: Are you going to explain what happened to me? DOCTOR: There's something in the wifi. CLARA: Okay. DOCTOR: This whole world is swimming in wifi. We're living in a wifi soup. Suppose something got inside it. Suppose there was something living in the wifi, harvesting human minds. Extracting them. Imagine that. Human souls trapped like flies in the world-wide web. Stuck forever, crying out for help. CLARA: Isn't that basically Twitter? (The Doctor clicks on her wifi list. All the sets of symbols pop up.) CLARA: What's that face for? DOCTOR: A computer can hack another computer. A living, sentient computer, maybe that could hack people. Edit them. Re-write them. CLARA: Why would you say that? DOCTOR: Because a few hours ago you knew nothing about the internet, and you just made a joke about Twitter. CLARA: Oh. Oh, that's weird. I know all about computers now in my head. Where did all that come from? DOCTOR: You were uploaded for a while. Wherever you were, you brought something extra back, which I very much doubt you'll be allowed to keep. (There is a man standing very still by a lamp post across the road.) DOCTOR: You and me inside that box, now. CLARA: I'm sorry? DOCTOR: Look, just get inside. CLARA: Both of us? DOCTOR: Oh, trust me. You'll understand once we're in there. CLARA: I bet I will. What is that box, anyway? Why have you got a box? Is it like a snogging booth? DOCTOR: Clara. A what? CLARA: Is that what you do, bring a booth? There is such a thing as too keen. (Bedroom lights start to go on in the street.) DOCTOR: Clara, look around you. CLARA: What's going on? What's happening? Is the wifi switching on the lights? DOCTOR: No, people are switching on the lights. The wifi is switching on the people. (The head on the man across the road turns around.) CLARA: What is that thing? DOCTOR: A walking base station. You saw one earlier. CLARA: I saw a little girl. DOCTOR: It must have taken an image from your subconscious, thrown it back at you. Ah! Active camouflage. They could be everywhere. CLARA: Doctor? Doctor. (The lights behind the house are going out.) CLARA: What's going on? [Office] MAHLER: Do we need another London-wide activation? We can't always pass it off as a riot. [Outside the Maitland home] CLARA: Our lights are on and everyone else's off. Why? (A distant droning in the air.) DOCTOR: Some planes have wifi. CLARA: I'm sorry? DOCTOR: We must be one hell of a target right now. (Lights appear in the sky, approaching rapidly.) DOCTOR: You, me, box, right now. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Yes, it's a spaceship. Yes, it's bigger on the inside. Now, I don't have time to talk about it. CLARA: But, but, but, but it's DOCTOR: Shut up, please. Short hops are difficult. CLARA: Bigger on the inside. Actually bigger. DOCTOR: Right, come on. CLARA: We're going to go back out there? DOCTOR: We've moved. It's a spaceship. We flew away. CLARA: Away from the plane? DOCTOR: Not exactly. [Aeroplane] (On a downward trajectory.) CLARA: How did we get here? DOCTOR: It's a ship. I told you. It's all very sciency. CLARA: This is the plane? The actual plane? Are they all dead? DOCTOR: Asleep. Switched off by the wifi. Never mind them. (The Doctor sonicks his way into the cockpit.) CLARA: What is going on? Is this real? Please, tell me what is happening! DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. I'm an alien from outer space. I'm a thousand years old, I've got two hearts and I can't fly a plane! Can you? CLARA: No. DOCTOR: Oh, fine. Let's do it together. (They manage to get the plane's nose up enough to skim over the roof tops and back up into the air. The pilots start to wake.) DOCTOR: Whoo! Would a victory roll be too showy offy? PILOT: What the hell's going on? DOCTOR: Well, I'm blocking your wifi so you're waking up, for a start. Tell you what, do you want to drive? [Office] (Still watching the house.) KIZLET: I don't understand. That box, where's it gone? Find that box! [Tardis] CLARA: Okay. When are you going to explain to me what the hell is going on? DOCTOR: Breakfast. CLARA: What? I ain't waiting till breakfast. DOCTOR: It's a time machine. You never have to wait for breakfast. [South bank] (The Doctor exits to a round of applause from passers by.) DOCTOR: Thank you, thank you. Yes, magic blue box. (He holds out the fez.) DOCTOR: All donations gratefully accepted. Roll up, give us your dosh. Pennies, pounds, anything you've got. (He hands it over to Clara.) DOCTOR: Keep collecting. We need enough for breakfast. Just popping back to the garage. CLARA: Garage? [Tardis] (The Doctor grabs Clara's laptop and heads off into the bowels of the Tardis.) DOCTOR: This way. [South bank] CLARA: So this is tomorrow, then. Tomorrow's come early. (The Doctor comes out of the Tardis on a Triumph motorbike.) DOCTOR: No, it came at the usual time. We just took a short cut. Thank you, thank you. Tomorrow, a camel. (He empties the fez and puts it on a nearby head. A Japanese tourist takes a photograph of his lady friend with the Tardis in the background.) [Office] (It immediately pops up on Alexei's screen.) MAHLER: What's happening? ALEXEI: Blue box, South bank. Definitely wasn't there five minutes ago. MAHLER: Are we sure this time? Earl's Court was an embarrassment. [Motorcycle] (Wearing helmets suitable for the age of the bike.) CLARA: If you've got a flying time machine, why are we on a motorbike? DOCTOR: I don't take the Tardis into battle. CLARA: Because it's made of wood? DOCTOR: Because it's the most powerful ship in the universe and I don't want it falling into the wrong hands. Okay? [Office] (Another mobile phone snaps them as they come off Westminster Bridge.) KIZLET: I do love London. So many cameras. [Rooftop terrace] (Lovely view of St Paul's Cathedral dome with Tower 42 just beyond it. St Paul's Churchyard?) CLARA: So if we can travel anywhere in time and space, why did we travel to the morning. What's the point in that? DOCTOR: Whoever's after us spent the whole night looking for us. Are you tired? CLARA: Yes. DOCTOR: What? Then imagine how they feel. They came the long way round. They've got to be close. Definitely London going by the signal distribution. I can hack the lowest level of their operating system but I can't establish a physical location. The security's too good. (And there is the Shard over Clara's shoulder.) CLARA: Are you an alien? DOCTOR: I am. Yes, okay with that? CLARA: Oh, yeah. Think I'm fine. DOCTOR: Oh, good. CLARA: So, what happens if you do find them? What happens then? DOCTOR: I don't know. I can't tell the future, I just work there. CLARA: You don't have a plan? DOCTOR: Oh, you know what I always say about plans. CLARA: What? DOCTOR: I don't have one. CLARA: People always have plans. DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, I suppose they do. So tell me, how long have you been looking after those kids? CLARA: About a year, since their mum died. DOCTOR: Okay. Why you? Family friend, I get that, but there must have been others. Why did it have to be you? You don't really seem like a nanny. CLARA: Gimme. (She grabs the laptop. He grabs it back.) DOCTOR: Sorry. What? CLARA: You need to know where they physically are. Their exact location. DOCTOR: Yes. CLARA: I can do it. DOCTOR: Oi, hang on. I need that. CLARA: You've hacked the lower operating system, yeah? I'll have their physical location in under five minutes. Pop off and get us a coffee. DOCTOR: If I can't find them, you definitely can't. CLARA: They uploaded me, remember? I've got computing stuff in my head. DOCTOR: So do I. CLARA: I have insane hacking skills. DOCTOR: I'm from space and the future with two hearts and twenty seven brains. CLARA: And I can find them in under five minutes plus photographs. Twenty seven? DOCTOR: Okay, slight exaggeration. CLARA: Coffee, go get. Five minutes, I promise. DOCTOR: The security is absolute. CLARA: It's never about the security, it's about the people. (Her fingers are a blur on the keyboard.) CLARA: Why do you keep looking at me like that? DOCTOR: Sorry, no, it's nothing. It's just, you're a nanny. Isn't that a bit, well, Victorian? CLARA: Victorian? DOCTOR: You're young. Shouldn't you be doing, you know, young things, with young people? CLARA: You mean like you, for instance? Down, boy. DOCTOR: No. No. I didn't. Shut up. [Coffee shop] DOCTOR: Two more cappuccinos over there, please. BARISTA: One moment, sir. (There is a flicker of light offscreen.) BARISTA: You realise you haven't the slightest chance of saving your little friend. DOCTOR: I'm sorry, what? BARISTA: One moment, sir. I said, there's not the slightest chance of saving your little friend. And don't annoy the old man. He isn't, in fact, speaking. (Flicker of light.) WAITRESS: I'm speaking. Just using whatever's to hand. [Miss Kizlet's office] KIZLET: Oh, she's rather pretty, isn't she? Do you like her? [Coffee shop] WAITRESS: Make her like you, too, if you want. (flicker) You all right, sir? DOCTOR: Er, yes. Yes. Fine. (He runs back outside.) [Rooftop terrace] (Clara is typing into a DOS box on her screen.) DOCTOR: You okay? CLARA: Sure. Setting up stuff. Need a user name. DOCTOR: Learning fast. CLARA: Clara Oswald for the win. Oswin! CLARA [Doctor's memory]: You can always call me Oswin, seeing as that's my name. [Coffee shop] WAITRESS: Now I want you to take a look around. Go on, have a little stroll. [Miss Kizlet's office] KIZLET: And see how impossible your situation is. [Coffee shop] WAITRESS: Go on, take a look. I do love showing off. GIRL: Just let me show you what control of the wifi can do for you. Stop! (Everyone in the coffee shop freezes.) DOCTOR: I saw what you can do last night. GIRL: And clear. (Everyone leaves the shop.) WOMAN [on TV]: We can hack anyone in the wifi once they've been exposed long enough. DOCTOR: So there's one of your walking base stations here, somewhere close. [Miss Kizlet's office] KIZLET: There's always someone close. We've released thousands into the world. [Coffee shop] WOMAN [on TV]: They home in on the wifi like rats sniffing cheese. [Office] (Some of the webcams perched on the screens flash.) ALEXEI: There's something up with the webcams. (Clara has grabbed photographs of the workers.) [Coffee shop] DOCTOR: I don't know who you are or why you're doing this, but the people of this world will not be harmed. They will not controlled. They will not be WOMAN [on TV]: The people of this world are [Miss Kizlet's office] KIZLET: In no danger whatsoever. My client requires a steady diet of living human minds. Healthy, free-range, human minds. He loves and cares for humanity. In fact, he can't get enough of it. [Coffee shop] DOCTOR: It's obscene. It's murder. WOMAN [on TV]: It's life. [Miss Kizlet's office] KIZLET: The farmer tends his flock like a loving parent. [Coffee shop] WOMAN [on TV]: The abattoir is not a contradiction. [Miss Kizlet's office] KIZLET: No one loves cattle more than Burger King. [Office] ALEXEI: I'm sure of it. Someone's hacking the webcams. All of them. MAHLER: Everybody check your webcams. ALEXEI: But what would be the point, taking mug shots of us? (Clara puts the images into Face Match.) MAHLER: Who's on Facebook? (Amy Pickwoad for a start. Other hands go up.) MAHLER: Bebo? MySpace? Abo? (Christina Tom identified, and Sam Price.) MAHLER: Put your hands down if you didn't mention where you work. (No hands go down. They work at The Shard. Clara looks over her shoulder.) [Coffee shop] DOCTOR: This ends. I'm going to end this today. WOMAN [on TV]: How? You don't even know [Miss Kizlet's office] KIZLET: Where we are. [Coffee shop] DOCTOR: Who's doing this? Who is your client? Hmm? Answer me. [Miss Kizlet's office] (Mahler knocks and enters.) MAHLER: Miss Kizlet, we have a problem. [Rooftop terrace] (The Doctor comes out of the coffee shop.) CLARA: I did it. I really did. I did it. I did it. I found them. DOCTOR: You found them. CLARA: The Shard. They're in the Shard. Floor sixty five. DOCTOR: Floor sixty five. CLARA: Are you listening to me, Doctor? I found them. DOCTOR: I'm listening to you. You found them. (Then his head turns around to reveal that he is actually a walking base station. Clara gets uploaded properly this time.) [Office] ALEXEI: We've got her. This time we've really got her. [Rooftop terrace] DOCTOR: Clara? Clara? CLARA [OC]: Doctor? Doctor, help me. I, I don't know where I am. I don't understand. Doctor, help me, please. I don't know where I am. I don't know where I am! I don't know where I am. Doctor, please. Please help me. Please help me. I don't know where I am. I don't know where I am. (The Doctor brandishes his sonic screwdriver.) [Office] CLARA [on screen]: Doctor, help me. I don't know where I am. MAHLER: Should we pulp her or keep her as a hostage? KIZLET: There's no point. She's fully integrated now. She can't be downloaded again. I'm sure he knows that. ALEXEI: I'm not sure he does. He's coming. (The Doctor is on his motorbike, speeding across a bridge, but not London Bridge, which would have been the quickest way from St Pauls. Instead, it is Westminster Bridge again. They follow his progress via the cameras.) MAHLER: We could stop him, I suppose. KIZLET: Why bother? Could be quite funny. [Outside The Shard] MAN WITH CHIPS: Really, Doctor. A motorbike? Hardly seems like you. DOCTOR: I rode this in the antigrav Olympics, 2074. I came last. MAN WITH CHIPS: The building is in lock-down. I'm afraid you're not coming in. DOCTOR: Did you even hear the word, antigrav? (The Doctor presses a big red button on the fuel tank and roars away.) [Office] ALEXEI: Seriously? He can do that? He can really actually do that? KIZLET: Oh dear lord. (The Doctor is driving up the side of the glass building. He gets out the screwdriver, and there is the sound of breaking glass.) MAHLER: I think that was your office. KIZLET: Excuse me. I believe there's someone to see me. [Miss Kizlet's office] (The motorbike is lying amongst broken glass, and the Doctor has his feet up on Miss Kizlet's desk.) KIZLET: Do come in. DOCTOR: Download her. KIZLET: Sorry about the draught. DOCTOR: Download her back into her body right now. KIZLET: I can't. DOCTOR: Yes, you can. KIZLET: She's a fully integrated part of the data cloud, now. She can't be separated. DOCTOR: Then download the entire cloud. Everyone you've trapped in there. KIZLET: You realise what would happen? DOCTOR: Yes, those with bodies to go home to would be free. KIZLET: A tiny number. Most would simply die. DOCTOR: They'd be released from a living hell. It's the best you can do for them, so give the order. KIZLET: And why would I do that? DOCTOR: Because I'm going to motivate you, any second now. KIZLET: You ridiculous man. Why did you even come here? Whatever for? DOCTOR: I didn't. KIZLET: What? DOCTOR: I'm still in the cafe. [Rooftop terrace] DOCTOR: I'm finishing my coffee. Lovely spot. [Miss Kizlet's office] BASE STATION: You hack people, but me? [Rooftop terrace] DOCTOR: I'm old-fashioned. [Miss Kizlet's office] BASE STATION: I hack technology. [Rooftop terrace] DOCTOR: Here's your motivation. [Miss Kizlet's office] (The base station removes the leather helmet and turns its head around. Miss Kizlet cowers.) KIZLET: No, not me! Not me! (A bright light flashes out from the Shard.) [Office] KIZLET [on screen]: Put me back. Put me back! Download me at once! That is an order. That is an order! ALEXEI: But she's fully integrated now. We'll have to download the entire cloud. We can't do that. MAHLER: No, we can't. KIZLET [on screen]: Download me! (The base station returns its face to the front and picks up Miss Kizlet's iPad. It selects Mahler's profile and ups his obedience to maximum.) KIZLET [on screen]: Download me! MAHLER: Do what she says. (Alexei obeys, and the faces disappear from the small screens on the back wall. Around the world, the wifi changes from red to blue.) [Rooftop terrace] (Clara breathes deep in her sleep.) CLARA: Doctor? (The Doctor leaves, and she wakes up.) CLARA: Doctor? Doctor! [Office] MAHLER: You have no right to be in this office, and I am demanding that you leave at once. OFFICER: This building is under UNIT control. MAHLER: What is UNIT? Never heard of you. OFFICER: Just you calm down, sir. [Miss Kizlet's office] (She summons up the face of Richard E Grant on her wall screen.) KIZLET: UNIT are here. Friends of the Doctor, I presume. GREAT INTELLIGENCE [on screen]: Oh, old friends. Very old friends. KIZLET: Then I appear to have failed you, Great Intelligence. GREAT INTELLIGENCE [on screen]: I have feasted on many minds. I have grown. But now it is time for you to reduce. KIZLET: You've been whispering in my ear so long, I'm not sure I remember what I was before. GREAT INTELLIGENCE [on screen]: Goodbye, Miss Kizlet. (Miss Kizlet backs away, then selects Restore Factory Settings on her iPad. There is a grating noise, and all the workers grab their heads in pain.) [Office] ALEXEI: Sorry. Where am I? What am I doing here? Are you soldiers? What's happening? How did I get here? MAHLER: Excuse me, where are the toilets? ALEXEI: The toilets? MAHLER: I'm here to fix the toilets, the gents. How long have I been here? [Miss Kizlet's office] OFFICER: Stay where you are! (Miss Kizlet is sitting on the floor.) OFFICER: Ma'am, identify yourself. (Miss Kizlet speaks like a little girl.) KIZLET: Where are my mummy and daddy? They said they wouldn't be long. Are they coming back? [Tardis] (At the Maitland home, Clara sees the Tardis outside the window. She goes and knocks on the door.) DOCTOR: Come in. CLARA: So, he comes back, does he? DOCTOR: You didn't answer my question. CLARA: What question? DOCTOR: You don't seem like a nanny. CLARA: I was going to travel. I came to stay for a week before I left, and during that week DOCTOR: She died, so you're returning the favour. You've got a hundred and one places to see, and you haven't been to any of them, have you? That's why you keep the book. CLARA: I keep the book because I'm still going. DOCTOR: But you don't run out on the people you care about. Wish I was more like that. You know, the thing about a time machine, you can run away all you like and still be home in time for tea, so what do you say? Anywhere. All of time and space, right outside those doors. CLARA: Does this work? DOCTOR: Eh? CLARA: Is this actually what you do? Do you just crook your finger and people just jump in your snog box and fly away? DOCTOR: It is not a snog box. CLARA: I'll be the judge of that. DOCTOR: Starting when? CLARA: Come back tomorrow. Ask me again. DOCTOR: Why? CLARA: Because tomorrow, I might say yes. Sometime after seven okay for you? DOCTOR: It's a time machine. Any time's okay. CLARA: See you then. DOCTOR: Clara? In your book there was a leaf. Why? CLARA: That wasn't a leaf. That was page one. (Clara leaves.) DOCTOR: Right then, Clara Oswald. Time to find out who you are. (He sets the time rotor going.) [Autumn 1981] (A brisk breeze plays havoc with a young man's map as he walks down a street. The Doctor is hiding behind the Beano Summer Special 1981, and the Specials 'Ghost Town' is setting the musical scene. Suddenly a dead leaf flies into the young man's face, and he staggers in surprise into the path of an oncoming car. Then an arm pulls him to safety.) ELLIE: Oh, my stars. Are you all right? DAVE: Yeah. (The music changes to smoochy love theme. Later - the young couple are at a front door in the rain.) DAVE: So, I've got something for you. ELLIE: What? (The dead leaf.) ELLIE: You kept it? DAVE: Of course I kept it. ELLIE: Why? DAVE: Because this exact leaf had to grow in that exact way in that exact place so that precise wind could tear it from that precise branch and make it fly into this exact face at that exact moment. And if just one of those tiny little things had never happened, I'd never have met you. Which makes this the most important leaf in human history. (The Doctor turns his face as they kiss. Time passes. The happy couple are blessed with a little bundle of joy, who enjoys looking at a book called 101 Places To See.) [Playground] DAVE: Give it a kick. (The little girl kicks a football which hits the Doctor in the face. He adopts a defensive martial arts posture.) ELLIE: Oh, my stars! Are you all right? DOCTOR: Fine. Marvellous. Refulgent. Possibly a bit embarrassed. That's not dangerous, is it? ELLIE: What's not? DOCTOR: Embarrassment. ELLIE: Not usually. Not to my knowledge. DOCTOR: Good. Hey. Phew. DAVE: Mate, I'm so sorry. She wants to be Bryan Robson. DOCTOR: No worries. My fault. No harm done. Hello there. ELLIE: Clara. DOCTOR: Ah. Hello there, Clara. [Cemetery] (A tear drops onto the other page of 101 Places To See, where it says Property Of Ellie Ravenwood, aged 11. Clara and Dave Oswald are gazing at the new headstone of Ellie Oswald, beloved wife and mother, born 11th September 1960, died 5th March 2005. The Doctor leaves them to it.) [Tardis] DOCTOR: She's just a girl. How can she be? (The scanner pops up her ID from the Spaceship Alaska.) DOCTOR: She can't be. She is. She can't be. She's not possible. (Clara is sitting on the stairs holding her favourite book, when the Tardis materialises outside. The doorbell rings.) CLARA: So we're moving through actual time? So what's it made of, time? I mean, if you can just rotor through it, it's got to be made of stuff, like jam's made of strawberries. So what's it made of? DOCTOR: Well, not strawberries. No. No, no, no. That would be unacceptable. CLARA: And we can go anywhere? DOCTOR: Within reason. Well, I say reason. CLARA: So, we could go backwards in time. DOCTOR: And space, yes. CLARA: And forwards in time. DOCTOR: And space. Totally. So, where do you want to go, eh? What do you want to see? CLARA: I don't know. You know when someone asks you what's your favourite book and straight away you forget every single book that you've ever read? DOCTOR: No. Totally not. CLARA: Well, that's a thing that happens. DOCTOR: And? Back to the question? CLARA: Okay. So. So. So. So I'd like to see. I would like to see. What I would like to see is, something awesome. [Asteroid] (The Doctor guides Clara out of the Tardis with her eyes closed.) DOCTOR: Can you feel the light on your eyelids? That is the light of an alien sun. Forward a couple of steps. Okay. Are you ready? CLARA: Yes. No. Yes. DOCTOR: Welcome to the Rings of Akhaten. (They are standing on a small ledge overlooking an asteroid belt circling a massive star.) CLARA: It's. DOCTOR: It is. It so completely is. But wait, there is more. CLARA: More what? DOCTOR: Wait, wait, wait. (He consults his wrist watch.) DOCTOR: In about five, four, three, two (The asteroids move on to reveal a golden pyramid glinting on a rock closer to the sun.) CLARA: What is it? DOCTOR: The Pyramid of the Rings of Akhaten. It's a holy site for the Sun Singers of Akhat. CLARA: The who of what? DOCTOR: Seven worlds orbiting the same star. All of them sharing a belief that life in the universe originated here, on that planet. CLARA: All life? DOCTOR: In the universe. CLARA: Did it? DOCTOR: Well, it's what they believe. It's a nice story. CLARA: Can we see it? Up close? [Bazaar] (With a wide range of alien species, although they are all upright bipeds.) CLARA: Where are they from? DOCTOR: Oh, you know, the local system, mostly. CLARA: What do I call them? DOCTOR: Well, let's see. Ah! There go some Panbabylonians. A Lugal-Irra-Kush. Some Lucanians. A Hooloovoo. Ah! Qom VoTivig. (They exchange a greeting that concludes with a pelvic thrust.) DOCTOR: That chap's a Terraberserker of the Kodion Belt. You don't see many of them around any more. Oh! That's an Ultramancer. Do you know, I forget how much I like it here. We should come here more often. CLARA: You've been here before? DOCTOR: Yes, yes, yes. I came here a long time ago with my granddaughter. (He dashes off through the crowd.) CLARA: Hang on! (He has found a basket of blue glowing globes.) DOCTOR: Exotic fruit of some description. (scans) Right. Non-toxic, non-hallucinogenic. High in free radicals and low in other stuff, I shouldn't wonder. (Clara tries it.) DOCTOR: No? CLARA: So, why is everyone here? DOCTOR: For the Festival of Offerings. Takes place every thousand years or so, when the rings align. It's quite a big thing, locally, like Pancake Tuesday. (Clara encounters an alien with teeth, who snarls like a dog. The Tardis translation circuit not working for Clara yet?) CLARA: Oh! Er, Doctor? (The Doctor sounds like a Yorkshire terrier.) CLARA: What's happening? Why is it angry? DOCTOR: This isn't an it, it's a she. Dor'een, meet Clara. Clara, meet Dor'een. CLARA: Doreen? DOCTOR: Loose translation. She sounds a bit grumpy but she's a total love actually, aren't you? Yes, you are. No, actually, she's just asking if we fancy renting a moped. CLARA: So, how much does it cost? DOCTOR: Not money. Something valuable. Sentimental value. A photograph, love letter, something like that. That's what's used for currency here. Psychometry. Objects psychically imprinted with their history. The more treasured they are, the more value they hold. CLARA: That's horrible. DOCTOR: Better than using bits of paper. CLARA: Then you pay. DOCTOR: With what? CLARA: You're a thousand years old. You must have something you care about. (Clara turns around. The Doctor takes out his sonic screwdriver then puts it back in his pocket and walks off.) CLARA: Doctor? Doctor? (A young girl runs round the corner.) CLARA: Are you okay? (The girl runs on. Then two tall men arrive on the scene.) CHORISTER: Have you seen her? CLARA: Who? CHORISTER: The Queen of Years. CLARA: Who? (The men split up to search. Clara follows the girl.) [Storeroom] CLARA: Hello? (Something bangs and make her jump. Then the girl appears.) CLARA: Hey. Are you okay? Are you lost? (The girl runs off. They find each other further on.) CLARA: Are you all right? What are you doing? MERRY: Hiding. CLARA: Oh. Why? MERRY: You don't know me? CLARA: Sorry. Actually not. MERRY: So why did you follow me? CLARA: To help. You looked lost. MERRY: I don't believe you. CLARA: I've got no idea who you might be. I've never been here before. I've never been anywhere like here before. I just saw a little girl who looked like she needed help. MERRY: Really? CLARA: Really really. MERRY: Can you help me? CLARA: That's why I'm still here. MERRY: Because I need to hide. (Black smoke materialises into three possible robots. A voice whispers in the air.) VOICE: Merry. Where are you, Merry? CLARA: I know the perfect box. (Merry takes Clara's hands and they dodge around the items in the storeroom.) VOICE: Merry, where are you? Merry. Merry. [Bazaar] (Clara hides Merry behind her as people pass by, then they go to the Tardis.) MERRY: What's this? CLARA: A space-shippy thing. Timey, spacey. MERRY: It's teeny. CLARA: You wait. (But the doors don't open for her.) CLARA: Oh, come on. MERRY: What's wrong? CLARA: I don't know. I don't think it likes me. Come on, let me in. (Merry runs around the back of the Tardis.) CLARA: Hey. Hey, little girl. MERRY: My name's Merry. (Clara sits with Merry round the back of the Tardis.) CLARA: So, what's happening? Is someone trying to hurt you? MERRY: No. I'm just scared. CLARA: Of what? MERRY: Getting it wrong. CLARA: Okay. Can you pretend like I'm totally a space alien and explain? MERRY: I'm Merry Gejelh. CLARA: Really not local. Sorry. MERRY: The Queen of Years? They chose me when I was a baby, the day the last Queen of Years died. CLARA: Okay. MERRY: I'm the vessel of our history. I know every chronicle, every poem, every legend, every song. CLARA: Every single one? Blimey. I hated history. MERRY: And now I have to sing a song in front of everyone. A special song. I have to sing it to a god. And I'm really scared. CLARA: Everyone's scared when they're little. I used to be terrified of getting lost. Used to have nightmares about it. And then I got lost. Blackpool beach, Bank holiday Monday, about ten billion people. I was about six. My worst nightmare come true. MERRY: What happened? CLARA: The world ended. My heart broke. And then my mum found me. We had fish and chips, and she drove me home and she tucked me up and she told me a story. ELLIE [memory]: It doesn't matter where you are, in the jungle or the desert or on the moon. However lost you may feel, you'll never really be lost. Not really. Because I will always be here, and I will always come and find you. Every single time. Every single time. MERRY: And you were never scared again? CLARA: Oh, I was scared lots of times, but never of being lost. So, this special song. What are you scared of, exactly? MERRY: Getting it wrong. Making Grandfather angry. CLARA: And do you think you'll get it wrong? Because I don't. I don't think you'll get it wrong. I think you, Merry Gejelh, will get it very, very right. (Merry hugs Clara. Then they go back into the bazaar and reunite Merry with the Chorister, who puts a lei around Merry's neck and gently leads her away. The Doctor appears at Clara's elbow, eating one of the blue glowing fruit.) DOCTOR: What have you been doing? CLARA: Exploring. Where are we going now? [Pyramid] (The changing over of the chanters, so one man is always kneeling before the dais. On the dais is a sealed glass case containing a mummified being seated on a throne.) CHORISTER: Sleep, my precious, sleep. Lay down, my warrior. Rest now, my king. [Amphitheatre] (Merry is lead out into a semicircular amphitheatre facing the pyramid asteroid. The tiered seating is full behind her as she steps up onto a small pedestal. The Doctor and Clara run in.) DOCTOR: Shush, shush. Sorry. Sorry. Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me. CLARA: Sorry, sorry. (They find a space to sit.) CLARA: Are we even supposed to be here? DOCTOR: Shush. CLARA: But are we? DOCTOR: Shush! Sorry. (Merry looks around at Clara, who smiles back, then starts to sing.) MERRY: Akhaten [Pyramid] CHORISTER: Lay down, my king (The door behind him slides up. He gets up and walks out.) CHORISTER: Sleep now eternal. Sleep, my precious king. Lay down [Amphitheatre] MERRY: O god of Akhaten (The Doctor is reading a leaflet.) DOCTOR: They're singing to the Mummy in the Temple. They call it the Old God. Sometimes Grandfather. MERRY: O god of Akhaten CLARA: What are they singing? DOCTOR: The Long Song. A lullaby without end to feed the Old God. Keep him asleep. It's been going for millions of years, chorister handing over to chorister, generation after generation after generation. (The congregation hold out their hands.) CLARA: What are they doing? DOCTOR: Those are offerings. Gifts of value. Mementoes to feed the Old God. (The offerings dissolve into sparkles.) MERRY: O god of, O god of, O god of Akhaten CHORISTER: Sleep, my precious king. (A whole chorus starts up amongst the congregation.) DOCTOR: Lay, lay down (Something rumbles in the Pyramid. Both Merry and the Chorister stop singing.) [Pyramid] CHORISTER: Old God, protect us. Old God, protect us. [Amphitheatre] (An energy beam lifts Merry off her pedestal and transports her through the space to the Pyramid.) CLARA: Okay, what's happening? Is that supposed to happen? MERRY: Help! CLARA: Is somebody going to do something? Excuse me, is somebody going to help her? [Bazaar] CLARA: Why are we walking away? We can't just walk away. This is my fault! I talked her into doing this. DOCTOR: Listen. There's one thing you need to know about travelling with me. Well, one thing apart from the blue box and the two hearts. We don't walk away. (He talks to Dor'een.) DOCTOR: I need something precious. CLARA: Well, you must have something. All the places you've seen, there must be something. (The sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: This. And I don't want to give it away, because it comes in handy. CLARA: You're a thousand years ole and that's it? Your spanner? DOCTOR: Screwdriver. (Clara takes off one of her many rings.) CLARA: It's my mum's. (She gives it to Dor'een.) [Space] (They zoom off towards Merry in the space moped.) CLARA: Merry! (But just as her and Clara's finger's touch, she is dragged into the Pyramid and the door slams shut.) CLARA: Brakes! Brakes! (They crash land.) [Outside the Pyramid] DOCTOR: Okay, time to let go. CLARA: I can't. DOCTOR: Clara, you have to. CLARA: Why? DOCTOR: Because it really hurts. CLARA: Sorry. (The Doctor scans the entrance to the Pyramid.) DOCTOR: Oh, that's interesting. A frequency modulated acoustic lock. The key changes ten million zillion squillion times a second. CLARA: Can you open it? DOCTOR: Technically, no. In reality, also no, but still, let's give it a stab. [Pyramid] CHORISTER: Do not wake from slumber. Old God, never wake from slumber. [Outside the Pyramid] CLARA: How can they just stand there and watch? DOCTOR: Because this is sacred ground. CLARA: And she's a child. DOCTOR: And he's a god. Well, he is to them, anyway. [Pyramid] (Merry walks past the Chorister to look at the Mummy.) CHORISTER: Do not wake from slumber. Old God, do not wake from slumber. Rest your weary, holy head and cast our lives asunder. Do not wake from slumber. MERRY: I don't know what to do next. What happens? (The Mummy's eyes glow red. Merry screams.) [Outside the Pyramid] CLARA: Merry! Merry, hold on! We'll be there soon. Doctor? DOCTOR: Yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, hello. CLARA: Hello what? DOCTOR: The sonic's locked on to the acoustic tumblers. CLARA: Meaning? DOCTOR: Meaning I get to do this. [Pyramid] (The door rises. The Doctor seems to be pushing it via the sonic screwdriver. He stands underneath it to hold it open.) DOCTOR: Hello there. I'm the Doctor, and you've met Clara. She was supposed to be having a nice day out. Still, it's early yet. Are you coming, then? Did I mention that the door is immensely heavy? MERRY: Leave. You'll wake him. DOCTOR: Really quite extraordinarily heavy. (The Doctor is pushed to his knees.) DOCTOR: Clara? (Clara enters the Pyramid.) CHORISTER: Old God, never wake from slumber.) CLARA: Merry, we need to leave. MERRY: No. Go away. CLARA: Not without you. MERRY: You said I wouldn't get it wrong and then I got it wrong. And now this has happened. Look what happened! CLARA: You didn't get it wrong. MERRY: How do you know? You don't know anything. You have to go! Go now, or he'll eat us all. CLARA: Well, he's ugly. But you know, to be honest, I don't think he looks big enough. MERRY: Not our meat, our souls. (Merry touches her temples and purple energy sticks Clara to the Mummy's glass box, with her back to the occupant.) MERRY: He doesn't want you. He wants me. If you don't leave, he'll eat you all up too. DOCTOR: Yes, and you don't want that, do you? You want us to walk out of this really quite astonishingly heavy door and never come back. MERRY: Yes. DOCTOR: I see. Right. Clara's right. Absolutely never going to happen. (The Doctor rolls out from underneath the door, and just grabs his sonic screwdriver before the door slams down upon it.) CLARA: Did you just lock us in with the soul eating monster? DOCTOR: Yep. And is there actually a way to get out? DOCTOR: What? Before it eats our souls? CLARA: Ideally, yes. DOCTOR: Possibly. Probably. There usually seems to be. CLARA: Doctor, why is he still singing? CHORISTER: Old God, rest your weary, holy head. DOCTOR: He's trying to sing the Old God back to sleep, but that's not going to happen. He's waking up, mate. He's coming, ready or not. You want to run. (The Chorister stops chanting.) DOCTOR: That's it, then. Song's over. CHORISTER: The song is over. My name is Chorister Rezh Baphix, and the Long Song ended with me. (The Chorister touches a button on a bracelet, and he disappears.) DOCTOR: That's it, then. Song's over. (The Mummy roars.) DOCTOR: Ah ha! Look at that. MERRY: You've woken him. CLARA: It's awake? What's it doing? DOCTOR: Oh, you know. Having a nice stretch. (Hammering on the glass trying to break out.) DOCTOR: No, we didn't wake him. And you didn't wake him, either. He's waking because it's his time to wake, and feed. On you, apparently. On your stories. CLARA: She didn't say stories. She said souls. DOCTOR: Same thing. The soul's made of stories, not atoms. Everything that ever happened to us. People we love, people we lost. People we found again against all the odds. He threatens to wake, they offer him a pure soul. The soul of the Queen of Years. CLARA: Stop it. You're scaring her. DOCTOR: Good. She should be scared. She's sacrificing herself. She should know what that means. Do you know what it means, Merry? MERRY: A god chose me. DOCTOR: It's not a god. It'll feed on your soul, but that doesn't make it a god. It is a vampire, and you don't need to give yourself to it. Hey, do you mind if I tell you a story? One you might not have heard. All the elements in your body were forged many, many millions of years ago, in the heart of a far away star that exploded and died. That explosion scattered those elements across the desolations of deep space. After so, so many millions of years, these elements came together to form new stars and new planets. And on and on it went. The elements came together and burst apart, forming shoes and ships and sealing wax, and cabbages and kings. Until eventually, they came together to make you. You are unique in the universe. There is only one Merry Gejelh. And there will never be another. Getting rid of that existence isn't a sacrifice. It is a waste. MERRY: So, if I don't, then everyone else DOCTOR: Will be fine. MERRY: How? DOCTOR: There's always a way. MERRY: You promise? DOCTOR: Cross my hearts. (Merry releases Clara. The Mummy has broken a hole in the glass.) CLARA: Having a nice stretch? (The asteroid rumbles.) CLARA: Something's coming. MERRY: The Vigil. DOCTOR: And what's the Vigil? MERRY: If the Queen of Years is unwilling to be feasted upon DOCTOR: Yes? MERRY: It's their job to feed her to Grandfather. (A puff of black smoke, and the three robotic beings appear.) MERRY: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. CLARA: Don't you dare. DOCTOR: Yeah, stay back. I'm armed. With a screwdriver. (The lead Vigil sends out an acoustic blast that knocks it out of the Doctor's hand, then another that sends him somersaulting backwards. Clara is also thrown against the wall. They are both briefly knocked out. The Vigils lead Merry forward.) DOCTOR: Clara. Sonic. (Clara gets the screwdriver and throws it to the Doctor. He sets up a shield against the Vigil's weapon and Merry runs back to Clara.) CLARA: You know all the stories. You must know if there's another way out. MERRY: There's a tale. A secret song. The Thief of the Temple and the Nimmer's Door. CLARA: And the secret songs open the secret door? How does it go? Can you sing it? (Merry sings a series of notes and a door slides up in the wall just beyond the Vigils and the Mummy.) DOCTOR: Go! (Clara and Merry run outside. Clara looks back to see the sonic shield fail.) [Outside the Pyramid] CLARA: Doctor! (The Mummy breaks free of its glass prison. An energy beam fires at the sun.) VOICE: Where are you? Where are you? (The Vigils disappear.) CLARA: Where did they go? DOCTOR: Grandfather's awake. They're of no function any more. CLARA: Well, you could sound happier about it. DOCTOR: Actually, I think I may have made a bit of a tactical boo-boo. More of a semantics mix-up, really. CLARA: What boo-boo? DOCTOR: I thought the Old God was Grandfather, but it wasn't. It was just Grandfather's alarm clock. CLARA: Sorry, a bit lost. Who's the Old God? Is there an Old God? DOCTOR: Unfortunately, yes. (The sun is getting rather active.) CLARA: Oh, my stars. What do we do? DOCTOR: Against that? I don't know. Do you know? I don't know. Any ideas? MERRY: But you promised. You promised! DOCTOR: I did. I did promise. MERRY: He'll eat us all. He'll spread across the system, consuming the Seven Worlds. And when there's no more to eat, he'll embark on a new odyssey among the stars. CLARA: I say leg it. DOCTOR: Leg it where, exactly? CLARA: Don't know. Lake District? DOCTOR: Oh, the Lake District's lovely. Let's definitely go there. We can eat scones. They do great scones in 1927. CLARA: You're going to fight it, aren't you. DOCTOR: Regrettably, yes. I think I may be about to do that. CLARA: It's really big. DOCTOR: I've seen bigger. CLARA: Really? DOCTOR: Are you joking? It's massive. CLARA: I'm staying with you. DOCTOR: No, you're not. CLARA: Yes, I am. I can assist. DOCTOR: No, you can't. CLARA: What about that stuff you said. We don't walk away. DOCTOR: No. We don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run. We run and run as fast as we can and we don't stop running until we are out from under the shadow. Now, off you pop. Take the moped. I'll walk. (The Doctor walks around to face the sun, which has the appearance of eyes and mouth.) DOCTOR: Any ideas? No, didn't think so. Righty-ho, then. (Clara returns with Merry to the amphitheatre to watch.) DOCTOR: Lordy. [Amphitheatre] MERRY: Isn't he frightened? CLARA: I think he is. I think he's very frightened. MERRY: I want to help. CLARA: So do I. (Merry gets onto her pedestal and starts singing.) MERRY: Rest now, my warrior. Rest now [Outside the Pyramid] (The Doctor can hear her voice.) DOCTOR: Okay, then. That's what I'll do. I'll tell you a story. [Amphitheatre] (The crowd joins in with Merry.) ALL: Please, wake up. And let the cloak of life cling to your bones. [Outside the Pyramid] DOCTOR: Can you hear them? All these people who've lived in terror of you and your judgement? All these people whose ancestors devoted themselves, sacrificed themselves, to you. Can you hear them singing? Oh, you like to thing you're a god. But you're not a god. You're just a parasite eaten out with jealousy and envy and longing for the lives of others. You feed on them. On the memory of love and loss and birth and death and joy and sorrow. So, come on, then. Take mine. Take my memories. But I hope you've got a big appetite, because I have lived a long life and I have seen a few things. (Energy tendrils reach out to the Doctor.) DOCTOR: I walked away from the last Great Time War. I marked the passing of the Time Lords. I saw the birth of the universe and I watched as time ran out, moment by moment, until nothing remained. No time. No space. Just me. I walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a mad man. I've watched universes freeze and creations burn. I've seen things you wouldn't believe. I have lost things you will never understand. And I know things. Secrets that must never be told. Knowledge that must never be spoken. Knowledge that will make parasite gods blaze. So come on, then. Take it! Take it all, baby! Have it! You have it all! (The face on the sun rolls in on itself and releases the Doctor.) [Amphitheatre] MERRY: Wake up. Wake up. (The sun has a series of internal explosions as the Doctor falls to his knees.) ELLIE [memory]: And I will always come and find you. Every single time. DOCTOR [memory]: We don't walk away. [Outside the Pyramid] (Clara zooms back to him on the moped. The face on the sun has returned.) CLARA: Still hungry? (She opens 101 Places To See and takes out the leaf.) CLARA: Well, I brought something for you. This. The most important leaf in human history. The most important leaf in human history. (The sun smiles.) CLARA: It's full of stories, full of history. And full of a future that never got lived. Days that should have been that never were. Passed on to me. (An energy tendril reaches for the leaf.) CLARA: This leaf isn't just the past, it's a whole future that never happened. There are billions and millions of unlived days for every day we live. An infinity. All the days that never came. And these are all my mum's. DOCTOR: Well, come on then. Eat up. Are you full? I expect so, because there's quite a difference, isn't there, between what was and what should have been. There's an awful lot of one, but there's an infinity of the other. (The leaf turns into energy.) DOCTOR: And infinity's too much, even for your appetite. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Home again, home again, jiggity jig. (Clara opens the door.) CLARA: It looks different. DOCTOR: Nope. Same house, same city, same planet. Hey! Same day, actually. Not bad. Hole in one. CLARA: You were there. At mum's grave. You were watching. What were you doing there? DOCTOR: I don't know. I was just making sure. CLARA: Of what? DOCTOR: You remind me of someone. CLARA: Who? DOCTOR: Someone who died. CLARA: Well, whoever she was, I'm not her, okay? If you want me to travel with you, that's fine. But as me. I'm not a bargain basement stand-in for someone else. I'm not going to compete with a ghost. DOCTOR: No. (He holds out the ring she gave to Dor'een.) DOCTOR: They wanted you to have it. CLARA: Who did? DOCTOR: Everyone. All the people you saved. You. No one else. Clara. (Clara takes the ring and leaves the Tardis. The Doctor looks very serious as he closes the door.) [Control room] (Deep below the Northern Polar icepack in 1983, a Russian submarine is navigating by radar.) VOICE [OC]: Signal is genuine. Signal is genuine. Zero bravo. (The Captain and his Lieutenant put their keys into the missile firing controls and two launch doors on the deck of the sub open.) ZHUKOV: Prepare to launch nuclear weapons. STEPASHIN: Aye, sir. VOICE [OC]: Moscow confirming launch sequence. ZHUKOV: The Firebird stands ready to serve. STEPASHIN: For the Motherland. ZHUKOV: For the Motherland. GRISENKO: (singing) This means nothing to me. This means nothing to me. (An elderly civilian is singing along to music on his Walkman.) GRISENKO: Oh, Vienna. Have I interrupted something? ZHUKOV: We were about to blow up the world, Professor. GRISENKO: Again? Ultravox. I bloody love them. Got a friend who sends me the tapes. ZHUKOV: This is the Captain. Drill abandoned. All hands, stand down. Repeat, drill abandoned. STEPASHIN: With respect, sir, we must run it again. ZHUKOV: Tomorrow. STEPASHIN: Comrade Captain, the NATO exercises ZHUKOV: Sabre rattling. STEPASHIN: I don't think so. ZHUKOV: Oh, you don't think so? STEPASHIN: Sir, American aggression gets more intolerable by the day. We must run the drill again. ZHUKOV: Tomorrow. (Stepashin leaves.) ZHUKOV: Did you have your specimen stowed okay? GRISENKO: Yeah. Piotr's looking after it. ZHUKOV: Well, at least we have something to show for our little hunting expedition. What is it, a mammoth? GRISENKO: Probably. [Storage] (But in the compartment below them, the dirty ice contains an chunky upright biped, not a hairy quadruped. Piotr holds out a flame to it.) PIOTR: What are you, milaya moya? Professor wants you thawed out back in Moscow, but life's too short to wait. (Piotr lights a blowtorch and starts melting the block. The something moves inside, then a big hand bursts out and grabs Piotr's throat.) PIOTR: Argh! Get away! (The freed Ice Warrior starts stomping through the submarine. Suddenly, water flood into all compartments.) [Control room] STEPASHIN: Alarm! Alarm! Hold the bridge, port side. ZHUKOV: Evasive manoeuvres! ONEGIN: Descending to two hundred metres. VOICE [OC]: We're under attack! ONEGIN: Two ten! ZHUKOV: Bring her up! Bring her up! ONEGIN: It's no good, sir. (Then the Tardis materialises and the Doctor steps out.) DOCTOR: Viva Las Vegas! (The boat shudders and he goes flying across the compartment along with Clara, in an evening dress.) STEPASHIN: Stranger on the bridge! ZHUKOV: Who the hell are you? CLARA: Not Vegas, then. DOCTOR: No. No, this is much better. CLARA: A sinking submarine? DOCTOR: A sinking Soviet submarine! STEPASHIN: Break out side arms. Restrain them! ONEGIN: Four ten. Four twenty. Turbines still not responding! ZHUKOV: They've got to. (The Doctor has the sonic screwdriver switched on.) DOCTOR: Ah! Sideways momentum. You've still got sideways momentum! ZHUKOV: What? DOCTOR: Your propellers work independently of the main turbines. You can't stop her going down but you can manoeuvre the sub laterally. Do it! STEPASHIN: Get these people off the bridge now! CLARA: Just listen to him, for god's sake! DOCTOR: Geographical anomaly to starboard. Probably an underwater ridge. ZHUKOV: How do you know this? DOCTOR: Look, we have just a chance to stop the descent if we settle on it. Do it! ONEGIN: Six hundred metres. Sir, six ten! DOCTOR: Or this thing is going to implode. ZHUKOV: Lateral thrust to starboard, all propellers. ONEGIN: Sir? ZHUKOV: Now! STEPASHIN: You're going to let this madman give the orders? ZHUKOV: Lateral thrust! ONEGIN: Aye, sir! Six sixty, six eighty. (They hit the ridge just in time. Grey Lady Down.) ONEGIN: Descent arrested at seven hundred metres. ZHUKOV: It seems we owe you are lives, whoever you are. DOCTOR: I'll hold you to that. Might come in handy. STEPASHIN: Search them. Yes, I know. It's a woman. Now search them! CLARA: Are we going to be okay? DOCTOR: Oh, yes. CLARA: Is that a lie? DOCTOR: Possibly. Very dangerous time, Clara. East and West standing on the brink of nuclear oblivion. (And the Doctor has a Barbie doll in a pocket. And a ball of string.) DOCTOR: Lots of itchy fingers on the button. CLARA: Isn't it always like that? DOCTOR: Sort of, but there are flash points and this is one. Hair, shoulder pads, nukes. It's the Eighties. Everything's bigger. I would like a receipt, please. (The sonic screwdriver is handed to Captain Zhukov.) ZHUKOV: What is this? (The submarine shakes, and Clara looses her footing.) DOCTOR: Clara! CLARA: Doctor! DOCTOR: Clara! (The Tardis dematerialises.) DOCTOR: No! No, no, no, no, no, no. No, not now! (Clara falls over into the foot of water on the control room floor, and sees the sonic screwdriver there. Then she passes out, and drifts in and out again. Later, someone has put a uniform jacket on Clara. The Doctor is being interrogated.) DOCTOR [OC]: Captain, we didn't attack of your ship out here. Now we need to get the pumps working to get her afloat. ZHUKOV [OC]: Yeah, we'll last till the rescue ship comes. DOCTOR [OC]: If it comes. ZHUKOV [OC]: Oh, the sinking is just a coincidence, is it? Who are you? (Clara wakes and stands.) DOCTOR: All right, Captain, all right. You know what? Just this once, no dissembling, no psychic paper, no pretending to be an Earth Ambassador. (See The Curse of Peladon, folks.) DOCTOR: Doctor, me and Clara, time travellers. Clara, you okay? CLARA: Think so. ZHUKOV: Time travellers? DOCTOR: We arrived here out of thin air. You just saw it happen. GRISENKO: I didn't. DOCTOR: Your problem, mate, not mine. CLARA: We were sinking. DOCTOR: Yes. CLARA: What happened? DOCTOR: We sank. CLARA: No, what happened to the Tardis, I mean. DOCTOR: Never mind that. Listen. Captain, breath's precious down here. Let's not waste it, eh? ZHUKOV: You're right. Maybe I can save a little oxygen by having you both shot! CLARA: What does it matter how we arrived? The important thing is to get (Something breathes very loudly.) CLARA: Out. DOCTOR: Exactly! Number one priority, not suffocating. (Zhukov spots what everyone else is staring at, too, and releases the Doctor.) DOCTOR: Eh? Ah. Oh, thank you. Finally seeing sense. Now, what sort of state is the sub in? (The Ice Warrior is directly behind the Doctor.) CLARA: Doctor. DOCTOR: What about the radio? Can we send a CLARA: Doctor! DOCTOR: What! (Hiss.) DOCTOR: What is that? Gas? Could be gas. (Then he turns around and looks up at the Warrior.) DOCTOR: Ah. It never rains but it pours. GRISENKO: We were drilling for oil in the ice. I thought I'd found a mammoth. DOCTOR: It's not a mammoth. GRISENKO: No. CLARA: What is it, then? DOCTOR: It's an Ice Warrior. A native of the planet Mars. And we go way back. Way back. ZHUKOV: A Martian? You can't be serious. DOCTOR: I'm always serious. With days off. CLARA: Doctor. DOCTOR: Just keeping it light, Clara. They're scared. CLARA: They're scared? I'm scared. (Stepashin points his pistol at the Ice Warrior, who raises his weapon arm and powers up.) DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no, no! Please, please. Wait, just. There is no need for this. Just hear me out. You're confused, disorientated. Of course you are. You've been lying dormant in the ice for, for, for how long? How long, Professor? GRISENKO: By my reckoning, five thousand years. DOCTOR: Five thousand years? That's a hell of a nap. Can't blame you if you've got out of the wrong side of bed. Look, nobody here wants to hurt you. (He pushes Stepashin's gun down.) DOCTOR: Please, just. Why don't you tell us your name? ZHUKOV: What are you talking about? It has a name? DOCTOR: Of course it has a name. And a rank. This is a soldier, and it deserves our respect. ZHUKOV: This is madness. That is a monster! SKALDAK: Skaldak. DOCTOR: What did you say? SKALDAK: I am Grand Marshal Skaldak. DOCTOR: Oh, no. (Then electricity plays over Skaldak's wet armour. He roars before collapsing. Stepashin has used a cattle prod on him from behind.) DOCTOR: You idiot! You idiot. Grand Marshal Skaldak. CLARA: You know him. DOCTOR: Sovereign of the Tharsisian caste. Vanquisher of the Phobos Heresy. The greatest hero the proud Martian race has ever produced. ZHUKOV: So what do we do now? DOCTOR: Lock him up. [Torpedo room] (Skaldak wakes as he is being chained to the girders holding the torpedoes.) SKALDAK: Is it true? ONEGIN: Er, true? SKALDAK: I slept for five thousand years? ONEGIN: Er, that's what the professor says. SKALDAK: Five thousand years. [Captain's cabin] DOCTOR: The Ice Warriors have a different creed, Clara. A different code. By his own standards, Skaldak is a hero. It was said his enemies honoured him so much, they'd carve his name into their own flesh before they died. CLARA: Oh, yeah. Very nice. He sounds lovely. ZHUKOV: An Ice Warrior? Explain. DOCTOR: There isn't time. ZHUKOV: Try me. DOCTOR: Martian reptile know as the Ice Warrior. When Mars turned cold they had to adapt. They're bio-mechaniod. Cyborgs. Built themselves survival armour so they could exist in the freezing cold of their home world, but a sudden increase in temperature and the armour goes haywire. CLARA: Like with the cattle prod thing. DOCTOR: Like with the cattle prod thing. Bit of a design flaw. To be honest, I've always wondered why they never sorted it. Oh look, you've got me telling you about them and I said there wasn't time. CLARA: Is he that dangerous? DOCTOR: This one is. [Torpedo room] SKALDAK: Find me, my brothers. If you are still out there, find me. (A beacon flashes inside his armour.) [Captain's cabin] (Professor Grisenko puts his headphones back on.) STEPASHIN: Why are we listening to this nonsense, Captain? These people are clearly enemy agents. CLARA: Huh? STEPASHIN: Spies, Captain. CLARA: Pretty bad spies, mate. I don't even speak Russian. STEPASHIN: What? CLARA: I don't. (sotto, to the Doctor) Am I speaking Russian? How come I'm speaking Russian? DOCTOR: (sotto) Now? We have to do this now? CLARA: (sotto) Are they speaking Russian? DOCTOR: (sotto) Seriously? Now? It's the Tardis translation matrix. STEPASHIN: In my opinion, Comrade Captain, this creature is a Western weapon. CLARA: (sotto) Are they? DOCTOR (sotto) Yes, they're Russians. ZHUKOV: A weapon? STEPASHIN: Survival suit. What is the alternative? The little green man from Mars? GRISENKO: Correction. It's a big green man from Mars. STEPASHIN: I don't appreciate your levity, Professor. GRISENKO: Why does that not surprise me? Maybe they're telling the truth. STEPASHIN: The truth? GRISENKO: Yes, a revolutionary concept, I know. STEPASHIN: It's essential that we inform Moscow of what we have found. ZHUKOV: The radio's out of action, in case you hadn't noticed, Stepashin. STEPASHIN: They have our last position. They will find us. When they do ZHUKOV: Yes? STEPASHIN: Well, the Cold War won't stay cold for ever, Captain. ZHUKOV: For God's sake, Stepashin, you're like a stuck record. We have other priorities right now. I want you back on repairs immediately. We need to keep this ship alive. Dismissed. STEPASHIN: Sir? ZHUKOV: Dismissed, Stepashin. (Stepashin leaves.) DOCTOR: All we needed to do was let Skaldak go and he'd have forgotten us. But you attacked him. You declared war. Harm one of us and you harm us all. That's the ancient Martian code. (Beeping from Grisenko's headphones.) DOCTOR: You hear that? Skaldak has sent out a distress call. He will bring down the fires of hell just for laying a glove on him. ZHUKOV: Unless you talk to it? DOCTOR: I'm the only one who can. ZHUKOV: No. Out of the question. We're not losing you. I'll do it. DOCTOR: What? ZHUKOV: You can talk to it through me. DOCTOR: Skaldak won't talk to you. You're an enemy soldier. ZHUKOV: And how would he know that? DOCTOR: A soldier knows another soldier. He'll smell it on you. Smell it on you a mile off. ZHUKOV: And he wouldn't smell it on you, Doctor? DOCTOR: Just let me in there before it's too late. It can't be you or any of your men. ZHUKOV: Well, it can't be you. CLARA: Ahem. Well, there really is only one choice, isn't there. I don't smell of anything, to my knowledge. DOCTOR: You? No! No! No way. You're not going in there alone, Clara. Absolutely not. No, no. Never. [Torpedo room] (The small circular bulkhead door closes behind Clara. She puts on the radio headset and picks up an inspection light.) [Captain's cabin] (She is visible on a small screen.) DOCTOR: With your permission? ZHUKOV: Be my guest. DOCTOR: Ready, Clara? [Torpedo room] CLARA: Yeah. DOCTOR [OC]: Okay. CLARA: Grand Marshal Skaldak. [Captain's cabin] DOCTOR: The salute. [Torpedo room] DOCTOR [OC]: Do the salute like I showed you. (Clenched right fist to left shoulder.) CLARA: Okay? [Captain's cabin] DOCTOR: Good. Good. Now, like we rehearsed. Sovereign of the Tharsisian caste. [Torpedo room] CLARA: Sovereign of the Tharsisian caste. By the moons, I honour the. DOCTOR [OC]: Good. It's okay, Clara. Go closer. CLARA: Grand Marshal, I'm, we're sorry about this. [Captain's cabin] DOCTOR: It's not what you deserve. CLARA [OC]: It isn't what you deserve. (The power goes out.) [Torpedo room] CLARA: Oh. Oh, great. [Captain's cabin] (CCTV and intercom are still working.) DOCTOR: Hey, it's okay, Clara. Keep going. [Torpedo room] (Clara puts down the inspection light and switches on a small torch.) CLARA: You're a long way from home. [Captain's cabin] DOCTOR: Five thousand years. CLARA [OC]: And five thousand years adrift in time. [Torpedo room] CLARA: Please, let us help you. You are not our enemy. SKALDAK: And yet I am in chains. CLARA: Doctor, what do I say? SKALDAK: Yes, Doctor. [Captain's cabin] SKALDAK [OC]: What should she say? GRISENKO: I think he wants to speak to the organ grinder, not to the monkey. [Torpedo room] CLARA: I heard that. [Captain's cabin] DOCTOR: You are restrained until we can trust each other, Skaldak. You would do exactly the same in my position, and don't even think [Torpedo room] DOCTOR [OC]: About using that sonic weapon. Not in the torpedo room. SKALDAK: I was Fleet Commander of the Nix Tharsis. My daughter stood by me. It was her first taste of action. We sang the songs of the Old Times. [Captain's cabin] SKALDAK [OC]: The Songs of the Red Snow. [Torpedo room] SKALDAK: Five thousand years. Now my daughter will be dust. Only dust. (Despite the emotion in the words, Skaldak hasn't even twitched.) DOCTOR [OC]: No, no, no. Listen, your people live on Skaldak. [Captain's cabin] DOCTOR: Scattered all across the universe. And Mars will rise again, I promise you. [Torpedo room] DOCTOR [OC]: Just let me help you. SKALDAK: I require no help. [Captain's cabin] SKALDAK [OC]: There will be no help. DOCTOR: Careful, Clara. CLARA [on screen]: I'm okay. DOCTOR: No, listen, Clara, don't get too close. [Torpedo room] CLARA: I'm okay. Doctor, something's wrong. [Captain's cabin] DOCTOR: What? [Torpedo room] CLARA: Something's (She touches the helmet and it hinges backwards.) CLARA: It's not there. It's gone! (The armour opens like a Dalek shell. It is empty.) [Captain's cabin] DOCTOR: Gone? Gone? Gone? What do you mean, gone? [Torpedo room] CLARA: It's got out. SKALDAK [OC]: It is time I learned the measure of my enemies. [Captain's cabin] SKALDAK [OC]: And what this vessel is capable of. DOCTOR: No, no, no. Skaldak! [Torpedo room] SKALDAK [OC]: Harm one of us and you harm us all. By the Moons, this I swear. [Captain's cabin] DOCTOR: Clara, get out of there. Get out! (Zhukov puts a gun to his head.) DOCTOR: Now, I've never seen one do this before. Actually, I've never seen one out of its armour before. (Zhukov lowers his gun.) GRISENKO: Won't it be more vulnerable out of its shell? DOCTOR: No, it will be more dangerous. (He runs out.) [Outside the torpedo room] DOCTOR: Clara? Clara? (Clara runs to the door and starts to open it. Then something whooshes past her and down the passageway.) DOCTOR: Clara! Clara! Clara! Clara! (He drags the stunned girl out.) CLARA: I'm okay. Ha, ha! I'm okay. I'm okay! Where did he go? (Professor Grisenko picks up an irregular pattern of beeps on his earphones.) CLARA: How did I do? Was I okay? DOCTOR: This wasn't a test, Clara. CLARA: I know, but DOCTOR: You were great, yeah. CLARA: Really? DOCTOR: Really. GRISENKO: Doctor? The signal. It's stopped. DOCTOR: Skaldak got no answer from his Martian brothers. Now he's given up hope. ZHUKOV: Hope of what? DOCTOR: Being rescued. He thinks he's been abandoned. He's got nothing left to lose. [Passageway] (As the ledge below the submarine slowly crumbles under its weight.) ZHUKOV: But what can he do, stuck down here like the rest of us? How bad can it be? DOCTOR: This sub's stuffed with nuclear missiles, Zhukov. It's fat with them. What do you think Skaldak's going to do when he finds that out? How bad can it be? How bad can it be? It couldn't be any worse. (Some tumbling rocks hit the submarine and water pours through a hatch. It gets closed quickly.) DOCTOR: Okay. Spoke to soon. [Turbine room] STEPASHIN: Hello? Who's there? Who's there? Who's there! (Something is moving behind the pipes. Then a pair of slender, three fingered hands reach out for his head from behind.) STEPASHIN: What do you want with me? SKALDAK: Much. [Control room] ZHUKOV: Comrades, you know our situation. The reactor is drowned. We are totally reliant on battery power and our air is running out. Rescue is unlikely, but we still have a mission to fulfil. If the Doctor is right, then we are all that stands between this creature and the destruction of the world. Control of one missile is all he needs. We are expendable, comrades. Our world is not. I know I can rely on every one of you to do his duty without fail. That is all. [Turbine room] STEPASHIN: Listen to me. We both understand each other. This, this mewling time of peace, it doesn't suit us. We are both warriors, and together we can form an alliance. SKALDAK: An alliance? STEPASHIN: Yes. To win the Cold War. SKALDAK: Cold War? STEPASHIN: Both sides are capable of completely obliterating the other. It's a state we call mutually assured destruction. SKALDAK: Mutually assured destruction. But this has not occured. STEPASHIN: No. SKALDAK: Not yet. [Control room] CLARA: Even if a missile did get launched, that wouldn't be it, would it? DOCTOR: It? CLARA: End of the world. Game over. I mean, what if they fired one by accident. What would happen then? DOCTOR: I told you, Clara. Earth is like a storm waiting to break, right now. Both sides baring their teeth, talking up war. It would only take one tiny spark. CLARA: Yeah, but the world didn't end in 1983, did it, or I wouldn't be here. DOCTOR: New. History's in flux. It can be changed. Re-written. (The crew are all armed with rifles.) DOCTOR: How many of us are left? ZHUKOV: Twelve. And we can't find Stepashin. DOCTOR: We split up and comb this sub. One team stays here to guard the bridge. ZHUKOV: That's it? That's the plan? DOCTOR: Well, it's either that or we stay here and wait for him to kill us. ZHUKOV: Okay. CLARA: Is it true you've never seen one outside of its shell suit? DOCTOR: Shell suit? Clara! For an Ice Warrior to leave its armour is the gravest dishonour. Skaldak is desperate. He is deadly and we have got to find him. GRISENKO: Will this help? (The sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Ah! You saved it. GRISENKO: No, no, it was on the floor with this. (The Barbie doll. The Doctor kisses it.) DOCTOR: Ah, Professor, I could kiss you. GRISENKO: If you insist. DOCTOR: Later. [Submarine] ONEGIN: Do you think it's true, sir? A Martian? BELEVICH: I don't know what to think. [Compartment] CLARA: So, why have you got a cattle prod on a submarine? GRISENKO: Polar bears. CLARA: Ah, right. GRISENKO: We run across them when we're drilling. Can be quite nasty, you know. CLARA: I'd swap one for an Ice Warrior any day. Cuddlier. GRISENKO: Courage, my dear. I always sing a song. CLARA: What? GRISENKO: To keep my spirits up. CLARA: Yeah, that would work, if this was Pinocchio. (The Doctor seems to have set off some alarms.) GRISENKO: Do you know Hungry Like The Wolf? CLARA: What? GRISENKO: Duran Duran. One of my favourites. Come on. CLARA: I'm not singing a song. (The Doctor gets a hatch open and puts his head inside. They hear an echoing growl.) CLARA: What was that? DOCTOR: Pressure. Just pressure. We're seven hundred metres down, remember? GRISENKO: Don't worry about it. Think of something else. (He sings the opening phrase of his song.) GRISENKO: I am hungry like the wolf. CLARA: I'm not singing. GRISENKO: Don't you know it? CLARA: Course I know it. We do it at karaoke, the odd hen night. GRISENKO: Karaoke? Hen night? You speak excellent Russian, my dear, but sometimes I don't understand a word you're talking about. [Submarine] ONEGIN: If we get out of here, we'll be bloody heroes. BELEVICH: If we get out of here. ONEGIN: The first people in the world to discover a genuine, living BELEVICH: Alien? (Which reaches down and lifts the hapless helmsman up by his head.) BELEVICH: I don't know. You hear stories, don't you. Stories about the things the Kremlin doesn't want us to (Then he realises he is alone.) BELEVICH: Onegin? Onegin! (The Doctor, Clara and Grisenko hear the growls and screams, and run towards them. We only see a stiff arm and hand sticking up.) GRISENKO: Good God. Torn apart. It's a monster, a savage. DOCTOR: No, Professor. Not savage. Forensic. Well, he's dismantled them. Skaldak's learning. Learning all about you. Your strengths, your weaknesses. Come on. (They go down a passageway.) DOCTOR: Stay here. CLARA: Okay. DOCTOR: Stay here. Don't argue. CLARA: I'm not. DOCTOR: Right. Good. (He goes up a ladder.) GRISENKO: Oh, it's a young man's game, all this dashing about. Clara, what is it? CLARA: I was doing okay. I mean, I went in there and I did the scary stuff, didn't I? I went in there with the Ice Warrior and it went okay. Actually, it went just about as badly as it could have done but that wasn't my fault. GRISENKO: Not at all. CLARA: So I'm happy about that. GRISENKO: Yes. CLARA: Chuffed. GRISENKO: And so you should be. So what's the matter? CLARA: Seeing those bodies back there. It's all got very real. Are we going to make it? GRISENKO: Yes, of course. (Elsewhere, there is a growl and something flashes past a grating.) ZHUKOV: It's in the walls. (Meanwhile, the Doctor finds a body.) DOCTOR: Oh, Stepashin. (The Doctor hears running feet above him.) DOCTOR: Oh, oh, oh. Fast. He's fast. (And, with more creaking and growling -) CLARA: What was that? GRISENKO: The Doctor told you, it's just the boat settling. Tell me about yourself. What do you like doing? Clara? Clara? CLARA: Stuff. You know, stuff. GRISENKO: Stuff. Very enlightening. And the Doctor, what he said. Is it true you're from another time? From our future? Clara? CLARA: Yes. GRISENKO: Tell me what happens. CLARA: I can't. GRISENKO: Well, I need to know. CLARA: I'm not allowed. GRISENKO: No, please. CLARA: I can't! GRISENKO: Ultravox, do they split up? (Clara laughs.) CLARA: Funny. You're funny. (Then Skaldak grabs her head from above.) GRISENKO: Let her go! (Grisenko shoots and Skaldak retreats.) GRISENKO: See? I don't just like Western music (Skaldak grabs Grisenko as the Doctor runs up.) CLARA: No, please don't hurt him. Please! SKALDAK: You attacked me. Martian law decrees that the people of this planet are forfeit. I now have all the information I require. It will take only one missile to begin the process. To end this Cold War. DOCTOR: Grand Marshal, there is no need for this. Listen to me. SKALDAK: My distress call has not been answered. It will never be answered. My people are dead. They are dust. There is nothing left for me except my revenge. (The armour in the torpedo room activates.) DOCTOR: There is something left for you, Skaldak. Mercy. SKALDAK: Mercy? ZHUKOV: You must wear that armour for a reason, my friend. Let's see, shall we? DOCTOR: No, Captain, wait! ZHUKOV: I will do whatever it takes to defend my world, Doctor. DOCTOR: Yes, great, fine, good, but we are getting somewhere here. We are negotiating. Jaw-jaw not war-war. GRISENKO: Churchill? DOCTOR: Churchill. ZHUKOV: Very well, we'll negotiate, but from a position of strength. SKALDAK: Excellent tactical thinking. My congratulations, Captain. ZHUKOV: Thank you. SKALDAK: Unfortunately, your position is not, perhaps, as strong as you might hope. (We have been getting glimpses of Skaldak in the dark. Red glowing eyes, lipless mouth, all copyright H G Wells, in my opinion.) DOCTOR: What do you mean? (Enter the armour, which has broken its shackles. Skaldak releases Grisenko and drops into it.) DOCTOR: He summoned the armour. CLARA: How did it do that? DOCTOR: Sonic tech, Clara. The song of the Ice Warrior. (A submariner empties his rifle at the back of the armour.) DOCTOR: No! SKALDAK: My world is dead but now there will be a second red planet. Red with the blood of humanity! DOCTOR: Skaldak! Skaldak, wait! [Control room] (Skaldak plugs himself into the computer and the launch key locks turn. A missile spins up.) DOCTOR: No! Skaldak, wait! Wait, wait. ZHUKOV: He's arming the warheads. DOCTOR: Where is the honour in condemning billions of innocents to death? Five thousand years ago Mars was the centre of a vast empire. The jewel of this solar system. The people of Earth had only just begun to leave their caves. Five thousand years isn't such a long time. They're still just frightened children, still primitive. Who are you to judge them? (Skaldak unplugs himself.) SKALDAK: I am Skaldak! This planet is forfeit under Martian law. DOCTOR: Then teach them. Teach them, Grand Marshal. Show them another way. Show them there is honour in mercy. Is this how you want history to remember you? Grand Marshal Skaldak, Destroyer of Earth. Because that's what you'll be if you send those missiles. Not a soldier, a murderer. Five billion lives extinguished. No chance for goodbyes. A world snuffed out like a candle flame! All right. All right, Skaldak, you leave me no choice. I'm a Time Lord, Skaldak. I know a thing or two about sonic technology myself. SKALDAK: A threat? You threaten me, Doctor? DOCTOR: No. No, not you, all of us. I will blow this sub up before you can even reach that button, Grand Marshal. Blow us all to oblivion. SKALDAK: You would sacrifice yourself? DOCTOR: In a heartbeat. SKALDAK: Mutually assured destruction. DOCTOR: Look into my eyes, Skaldak. Look into my eyes and tell me you're capable of doing this. Huh? Can you do that? Dare you do that? Look into my eyes, Skaldak. Come on. Face to face. SKALDAK: Well, Doctor. (The helmet tilts back to reveal the Martian lizard with its lidless eyes.) SKALDAK: Which of us shall blink first? CLARA: Why did you hesitate? Back there, in the dark. You were going to kill this man, remember? I begged you not to, and you listened. Why show compassion then, Skaldak, and not now? The Doctor's right. Billions will die. Mothers, sons, fathers, daughters. Remember that last battle, Skaldak? Your daughter. You sang the songs. SKALDAK: Of the Red Snows. (The submarine shifts.) CLARA: What's happening? (A tractor beam has grabbed them.) SKALDAK: My people live. They have come for me! ZHUKOV: We're rising. We're rising! GRISENKO: Six hundred metres. Five fifty. (The conning tower breaks through the ice.) DOCTOR: We've surfaced. Your people have saved us. SKALDAK: Saved me, not you. DOCTOR: Just go, Skaldak, please. Please, go in peace. (Skaldak is teleported away.) CLARA: We did it. We did it! DOCTOR: No. No, no, no, no, no. It's still armed. A single pulse from that ship. I'll destroy us if I have to. I will destroy us if I have to. Show mercy, Skaldak. Come on. Show mercy. CLARA: (sings) I'm lost and I'm found, and I'm hungry like the wolf. (The nuclear trigger disarms and the silos close. The Doctor turns off his sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Now we're safe. (Clara hugs him for a long moment.) CLARA: Ahem. Saved the world, then? DOCTOR: Yeah. CLARA: That's what we do. DOCTOR: Yeah. [Conning tower] (They look up at the Martian spaceship.) CLARA: The Tardis! Where's the Tardis? You never explained. DOCTOR: Oh well, don't worry about that. CLARA: Stop saying that. Where is it? DOCTOR: Yeah. Well, I wasn't to know, was I? CLARA: Know what? DOCTOR: I've been tinkering, breaking her in. I'm allowed. CLARA: What did you do? DOCTOR: (sotto) I reset the HADS. CLARA: Huh? DOCTOR: I reset the HADS. CLARA: The what? DOCTOR: The HADS. The Hostile Action Displacement System. If the Tardis comes under attack, gunfire, time winds, the sea, it relocates. CLARA: Oh, Doctor. DOCTOR: Haven't used it in donkey's years. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Well, never mind, it's bound to turn up somewhere. (His sonic screwdriver starts whirring.) DOCTOR: Ooo. Ha, see? Right on cue. Brilliant. CLARA: Brilliant. DOCTOR: The Tardis is at the pole. CLARA: Not far, then. DOCTOR: The south pole. CLARA: Ah. DOCTOR: Could we have a lift? (General laughter. The Doctor salutes the Martian spaceship as it flies away.)  [Caliburn House] (It is a dark and stormy night. The paranormal investigators are completing their set up in the entrance hall by the staircase.) EMMA: How are we looking? PALMER: Oh, about ready, I think. EMMA: Any thoughts on the interference? PALMER: Er, a stray FM broadcast, possibly. I've fitted some ferrite suppressors and some RF chokes, just in case. Are you sure you want to go through with this? I mean, the last time, it was very EMMA: But she's so lonely. PALMER: Excellent, then. Excellent. (into microphone) Caliburn House, night four, November 25th, 1974. 11.04 pm. EMMA: I'm talking to the spirit that inhabits this house. Are you there? Can you hear me? I'm speaking to the lost soul that abides in this place. (There is a reaction on the paper graph.) EMMA: Come to me. Speak to me. Let me show you the way home. (Something painful comes through the Major's headphones.) EMMA: Let me show you the way home! (Palmer grabs his Nikon camera and starts taking photographs of the white image approaching them. Emma gasps then staggers for a chair.) PALMER: Emma? EMMA: She's so PALMER: So what? EMMA: Dead. (There is a knock on the door. Palmer opens it carefully. No one there.) DOCTOR: Boo! Hello, I'm looking for a ghost. PALMER: And you are? CLARA: Ghostbusters. DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. (He holds up his psychic paper.) PALMER: Doctor what? DOCTOR: If you like. And this is Clara. (He runs over to the tables of equipment.) DOCTOR: Ah, but you are very different. You are Major Alec Palmer. Member of the Baker Street Irregulars, the Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare. Specialised in espionage, sabotage and reconnaissance behind enemy lines. You're a talented watercolourist, professor of psychology and ghost hunter. Total pleasure. Massive. EMMA: Actually, you're wrong. Professor Palmer spent most of the war as a POW. DOCTOR: Actually, that's a like told by a very brave man involved in very secret operations. The type of man who keeps a Victoria Cross in a box in the attic, eh? But you know that, because you're Emma Grayling, the Professor's companion. EMMA: Assistant. DOCTOR: It's 1974. You're the assistant and non-objective equipment. Meaning psychic. CLARA: Getting that. Bless you, though. PALMER: Relax, Emma. He's Military Intelligence. So, what is all this in aid of? DOCTOR: Health and safety. Yeah, the Ministry got wind of what's going on down here. Sent me to check that everything's in order. PALMER: They don't have the right. DOCTOR: Don't worry, guv'nor, I'll be out of your hair in five minutes. Oh! Oh, look. Oh, lovely. The ACR 99821. Oh, bliss. Nice action on the toggle switches. You know, I do love a toggle switch. Actually, I like the word toggle. Nice noun. Excellent verb. Oi, don't mess with the settings. (The Doctor does a quick sweep with the sonic screwdriver.) PALMER: What's that? DOCTOR: Gadget. Health and safety. Classified, I'm afraid. You know, while the back room boffins work out a few kinks. CLARA: What's it telling you? DOCTOR: It's telling me that you haven't been exposed to any life-threatening transmundane emanations. So, where's the ghost? Show me the ghost. It's ghost time. [Corridor] (The Doctor leads the way with a three pronged candelabra.) PALMER: I will not have this stolen out from under me, do you understand. DOCTOR: Er, no, not really, sorry. PALMER: I will not have my work stolen, then be fobbed off with a pat on the back and a letter from the Queen. Never again. This is my house, Doctor, and it belongs to me. CLARA: This is actually your house? PALMER: It is. CLARA: Sorry. You went to the bank and said, you know that gigantic old haunted house on the moors? The one the dossers are too scared to doss in? The one the birds are too scared to fly over? And then you said, I'd like to buy it, please, with my money. PALMER: Yes, I did, actually. CLARA: That's incredibly brave. (Something creaks.) DOCTOR: Listen, Major, we just need to know what's going on here. PALMER: For the Ministry. DOCTOR: You know I can't answer that. PALMER: Very well, follow me. [Living room] (Warmly furnished. The Doctor takes photographs of himself. Food and drink is stocked on a collapsible table.) CLARA: So, what's an empathic psychic? EMMA: Sometimes I sense feelings, the way a telepath can sense thoughts. Sometimes, though. Not always. DOCTOR: The most compassionate people you'll ever meet, empathics. And the loneliest. I mean, exposing themselves to all those hidden feelings, all that guilt, pain and sorrow and CLARA: Doctor? DOCTOR: Yes? CLARA: Shush. PALMER: Would you care to have a look? (Palmer has a lot of photographs pinned to a board.) PALMER: Caliburn House is over four hundred years old, but she has been here much longer. The Caliburn Ghast. (Classic Edwardian ghost photographs.) PALMER: She's mentioned in local Saxon poetry and parish folk tales. The Wraith of the Lady, the Maiden in the Dark, the Witch of the Well. CLARA: Is she real? As in, actually real? PALMER: Oh, she's real. In the seventeenth century, a local clergyman saw her. He wrote that her presence was accompanied by a dreadful knocking, as if the Devil himself demanded entry. During the war, American airmen stationed here left offerings of tinned Spam. The tins were found in 1965, bricked up in the servants' pantry, along with a number of handwritten notes. Appeals to the Ghast. For the love of God, stop screaming. CLARA: She never changes. The angle's different, the framing, but she's always in exactly the same position. Why is that? PALMER: We don't know. She's an objective phenomenon, but objective recording equipment can't detect her DOCTOR: Without the presence of a powerful psychic. PALMER: Absolutely. Very well done. EMMA: She knows I'm here. I can feel her calling out to me. CLARA: What's she saying? EMMA: Help me. (A shadow whizzes past the entrance to the room.) DOCTOR: The Witch of the Well. So where's the well? PALMER: A copy of the oldest plan that we could find. There is no well on the property. None that we could find, anyway. (The Doctor taps Clara on the head, making her jump.) DOCTOR: (sotto) You coming? CLARA: (sotto) Where? DOCTOR: (sotto) To find the ghost. CLARA: (sotto) Why would I want to do that? DOCTOR: (sotto) Because you want to. Come on. CLARA: (sotto) Well, I dispute that assertion. DOCTOR: (sotto) Eh? I'm giving you a face. Can you see me? Look at my face. CLARA: (sotto) Fine. Dare me. DOCTOR: I dare you. No takesies backsies. (Clara takes the candelabra and leaves.) EMMA: The music room is the heart of the house. [Corridor] CLARA: Say we actually find her. What do we say? DOCTOR: We ask her how she came to be whatever she is. CLARA: Why? DOCTOR: Because I don't know, and ignorance is, what's the opposite of bliss? CLARA: Carlisle. DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, Carlisle. Ignorance is Carlisle. (Something moves in the shadows behind them. They find the kitchen.) [Living room] EMMA: Is he really from the Ministry? PALMER: Er, I don't know. He's certainly got the right demeanour. Capricious, brilliant. EMMA: Deceitful. PALMER: Yes. Ha. He's a liar. But, you know, that's often the way that it is when someone's seen a thing or two. Experience makes liars of us all. We lie about who we are, about what we've done. EMMA: And how we feel? PALMER: Yes. Always. Always that. You know, I have to, have to be getting on with things. The er, the equipment and so forth. EMMA: Of course. [Music room] (The big harp gives it away.) DOCTOR: Ah, the music room. The heart of the house. Do you feel anything? CLARA: No. DOCTOR: Your pants are so on fire. (The sonic screwdriver stutters.) CLARA: (sotto) Do you feel like you're being watched? DOCTOR: (sotto) What does being watched feel like? Is it that funny tickly feeling on the back of your neck? CLARA: (sotto) That's the chap. DOCTOR: (sotto) Then yes, a bit. Well, quite a big bit. (Wood creaking.) CLARA: I think she's here. (By a door, the Doctor can see his breath.) DOCTOR: Cold spot. Spooky. Cold. Warm. Cold. Warm. Cold. Warm. Cold. Warm. Cold. (The Doctor draws a chalk circle around the cold area.) CLARA: Doctor? Doctor! DOCTOR: What? CLARA: I'm not happy. DOCTOR: No. CLARA: Hey! (She runs after him, stepping in the circle. The paper graph registers something. Steam rises from the edges of the circle.) [Passageway] CLARA: What was that? (A slamming noise. The candles are blown out.) [Caliburn House] PALMER: Does it seem colder? (The thermometer is dropping towards zero. Ice forms on the inside of the windows.) EMMA: She's coming. [Top of the stairs] CLARA: Okay, what is that? DOCTOR: It's a very loud noise. It's a very loud, very angry noise. CLARA: What's making it? DOCTOR: I don't know. Are you making it? (Bang! Bang!) CLARA: Doctor? DOCTOR: Yes? CLARA: I may be a teeny, tiny bit terrified. DOCTOR: Yes? CLARA: But I'm still a grown-up. DOCTOR: Mainly, yes, and? CLARA: There's no need to actually hold my hand. DOCTOR: Clara. CLARA: Yeah? DOCTOR: I'm not holding your hand. (They look behind them, scream and run down the stairs.) [Caliburn House] (A concave black thing has appeared, gyrating in mid-air.) DOCTOR: Has this happened before? PALMER: Never. DOCTOR: Camera. Camera! (Click, and glass inside the thing cracks. Something materialises in front of Emma, but no one else notices. She is seeing a shiny figure in the woods. Clara turns.) CLARA: Doctor? (The Doctor takes pictures.) WOMAN [OC]: Help me! (Emma collapses into Palmer's arms.) CLARA: Doctor. (The words Help Me are frozen into the wall by the staircase, then they evaporate and the black concave vanishes.) [Living room] (Emma takes a sip of whisky.) EMMA: Urgh. I'd rather have a nice cup of tea. CLARA: Me too. Whisky is the eleventh most disgusting thing ever invented. [Dark room] (Developing the night's film.) DOCTOR: I had a little peek at your records, back at the Ministry. You've certainly seen a thing or two in your time. Disrupting U-boat operations across the North Sea, sabotaging railway lines across Europe. Operation Gibbon. The one with the carrier pigeons, brilliant. I do love a carrier pigeon. PALMER: I did my duty, but then so did thousands of others. Millions of others. I was just lucky enough to come back. DOCTOR: Yes, but how does that man, that war hero, end up here in a lonely old house, looking for ghosts? PALMER: Because I killed, and I caused to have killed. I sent young men and women to their deaths, but here I am, still alive and it does tend to haunt you. Living, after so much of the other thing. [Living room] CLARA: So, you and Professor Palmer, have you ever, you know? EMMA: No. CLARA: Why not? You do know how he feels about you, don't you? You, of all people? EMMA: I don't know. People like me, sometimes we get our signals mixed up. We think people are feeling the way we want them to feel, you know, when they are special to us, when really there's nothing there. CLARA: Oh, this is there. EMMA: How do you know? CLARA: Because it's obvious. It sticks out like a big chin. [Dark room] PALMER: You see, I was alone and unmarried and I didn't mind dying. I mean, not for that cause. It was a very, very fine cause, defeating the enemy. DOCTOR: And if you could contact them, what would you say? PALMER: Well, I'd very much like to thank them. DOCTOR: Ah ha. Ping! (He hangs up a photograph to dry.) PALMER: Who do you think she is? (The screaming face behind the Doctor in the photograph.) DOCTOR: Not what I thought she'd be. PALMER: What did you think she's be? DOCTOR: Fun. Can I borrow your camera? Ta. [Living room] EMMA: What about you and the Doctor? CLARA: Oh, I don't think so. EMMA: Good. CLARA: Sorry? EMMA: Don't trust him. There's a sliver of ice in his heart. DOCTOR [OC]: Clara! [Outside the Tardis] (They run out in the pouring rain to where the Tardis has parked herself in what look like old cloisters.) CLARA: (sotto) I've got this weird feeling it's looking at me. It doesn't like me. DOCTOR: The Tardis is like a cat. A bit slow to trust, but you'll get there in the end. (He runs inside and the door shuts. Clara has to knock.) [Tardis] (The Doctor opens the door.) CLARA: Hey. You need a place to keep this. (The umbrella.) DOCTOR: I've got one. Or I had one. I think I had one. Look around. See if you find it. Did I have one? Am I going mad? (Clara shakes the water off the umbrella.) DOCTOR: No, not in here. How do you expect her to like you? She's soaking wet. It's a health and safety nightmare. CLARA: Sorry. So, where are we going? DOCTOR: Nowhere. We're staying right here. Right here, on this exact spot, if I can work out how to do it. CLARA: So, when are we going? DOCTOR: Oh, that is good. That is top-notch. CLARA: And the answer is? DOCTOR: We're going always. CLARA: We're going always. DOCTOR: Totally. CLARA: That's not actually a sentence. (The Doctor gets his orange environment suit.) DOCTOR: Well, it's got a verb in it. What do you think? CLARA: Colour's a bit boisterous. DOCTOR: I think it brings out my eyes. CLARA: Makes my eyes hurt. [Caliburn House] (The Tardis dematerialises.) PALMER: Did you see where he went? I could hear an engine but I can't see any lights. (The lightning flash illuminates the screaming figure behind them.) [Tardis] (They have gone back a good few billion years, to when the Earth was still cooling. The Doctor takes a photograph and comes back inside.) DOCTOR: Back off. Hot suit. Hot, hot, hot. CLARA: When are we? DOCTOR: About six billion years ago. It's a Tuesday, I think. (Next stop, a tropical jungle with giant dragonflies. Eventually, Victorian times as a lady in crinoline and man in top hat walk up the stone steps in front of the house. Finally, he is in the environment suit again.) DOCTOR: Back in a mo. Are you all right? CLARA: Totally. Peachy keen. DOCTOR: Okay then. Well, don't press any buttons or pull any levers or make any funny faces. Actually, don't move. Stand completely still. Don't breathe. Well, you can breathe, but shallow breaths. (Clara watches the Doctor on the scanner. The ground is devastated, with just a bit of roof and chimney lying on the ground. The air shimmers in the heat. He takes his photograph. That old Nikon certainly can put up with a lot of different conditions. He returns.) DOCTOR: Oh. What's wrong? Did the Tardis say something to you? Are you being mean? CLARA: No, it's not that. Have we just watched the entire life cycle of Earth, birth to death? DOCTOR: Yes. CLARA: And you're okay with that? DOCTOR: Yes. CLARA: How can you be? DOCTOR: The Tardis, she's time. We. Wibbly vortex and so on. CLARA: That's not what I mean. DOCTOR: Okay, some help. Context? Cheat sheet? Something? CLARA: I mean, one minute you're in 1974 looking for ghosts, but all you have to do is open your eyes and talk to whoever's standing there. To you, I haven't been born yet, and to you I've been dead one hundred billion years. Is my body out there somewhere, in the ground? DOCTOR: Yes, I suppose it is. CLARA: But here we are, talking. So I am a ghost. To you, I'm a ghost. We're all ghosts to you. We must be nothing. DOCTOR: No. No. You're not that. CLARA: Then what are we? What can we possibly be? DOCTOR: You are the only mystery worth solving. [Living room] (The Tardis returns to their starting point as we are given a glimpse of something climbing in through a window. The Doctor hands over his roll of film for developing.) EMMA: What's wrong? CLARA: I just saw something I wish I hadn't. EMMA: What did you see? CLARA: That everything ends. EMMA: No, not everything. Not love. Not always. DOCTOR: Right, done. That's it. Gather round, gather round. Roll up, roll up. (They have made slides from the negatives. The Doctor activates the projector with the sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: The Ghast of Caliburn House. Never changing, trapped in a moment of fear and torment. But, what if she's not? What if she's just trapped somewhere time runs more slowly than it does here? What if a second to her was a hundred thousand years to us? And what if somebody has a magic box. A blue box, probably. What if said somebody could take a snapshot of her, say, every few million years? (And up comes a shot of a dark woman in a white coverall, running.) DOCTOR: She's not a ghost. But she's definitely a lost soul. Her name is Hila Tacorian. She's a pioneer, a time traveller, or at least she will be in a few hundred years. PALMER: Time travel's not possible. The paradoxes DOCTOR: Resolve themselves, by and large. EMMA: How long has she been alone? DOCTOR: Well, time travel's a funny old thing. I mean, from her perspective, she crash landed three minutes ago. EMMA: Crash landed? Where? DOCTOR: She's in a pocket universe. A distorted echo of our own. They happen sometimes but never last for long. (The Doctor blows up a blue balloon, then a red one. Our universe. Hila Tacorian's here, in a pocket universe. You're a lantern, shining across the dimensions, guiding her home, back to the land of the living. CLARA: But what's she running from? DOCTOR: Well, that's the best bit. We don't know yet. Shall we see? (Next slide.) DOCTOR: Oh. (There is a thing behind a tree.) CLARA: What is that? DOCTOR: I don't know. Still, not to worry. EMMA: So, what do we do? DOCTOR: Not we, you. You save Hila Tacorian because you are Emma Grayling. You are the lantern. The rest of us are just along for the ride, I'm afraid. We need some sturdy rope and a blue crystal from Metebelis Three. Plus some Kendal Mint Cake. (The rain has stopped when the Doctor and Clara run back to the Tardis.) PALMER: Don't do it. EMMA: I'm sorry? PALMER: Nobody asked her to risk her life. This woman, she doesn't deserve. Whoever she is, however brilliant, however brave, she's not you. She is not worth risking a single hair on your head. Not to me. EMMA: Tell me what I'm thinking. PALMER: I can't. I don't have your gift. EMMA: You don't need it. Just look at me and tell me. (They gaze into each others eyes and smile.) EMMA: There you are, you read my mind. [Tardis] CLARA: Can't you just, you know? DOCTOR: What? CLARA: Fly the Tardis into the parallel universe? DOCTOR: Ah, it's not a parallel universe. It's a pocket universe. Plus, it is collapsing. I mean, the Tardis could get in there all right, but entropy would bleed her power sources, you see? Trap her there until the entire universe decayed back into the quantum foam. Which would take about three minutes, give or take, you know. [Music room] (A thick silver cable and other wires run from the Tardis into the house. A large crystal is held in a cradle at head height. Clocks have been places around the room. Emma and Palmer are wearing coats.) CLARA: What is that? DOCTOR: A subset of the Eye of Harmony. CLARA: I don't DOCTOR: Of course you don't. Be weird if you did. I barely do myself. Right. You, sit down. All the way from Metebelis Three. (The Doctor puts a headset with a blue gem in it onto Emma.) EMMA: What does it do? DOCTOR: It amplifies your natural abilities like a microphone, or a pooper scooper. PALMER: What exactly is this arrangement? DOCTOR: A psychochronograph. PALMER: Forgive me, but isn't it all a bit well, make do and mend? (The Doctor puts on a parachute harness.) DOCTOR: Non-psychic technology won't work where I'm going. Listen, all I need to do is dive into another dimension, find the time traveller, help her escape the monster. get home before the entire dimension collapses and Bob's your uncle. EMMA: Doctor, will it hurt? DOCTOR: No. Well, yes. Probably. A bit. Well, quite a lot. I don't know. It might be agony. To be perfectly honest, I'll be interested to find out. (Emma looks at Palmer, who nods.) EMMA: I'm talking to the lost soul that abides in this place. I'm speaking to Hila Tarcorian. (The clocks start to go backwards. The Doctor hitches his harness to a thick rope as the black disc appears and a strong wind blows through.) DOCTOR: See? The Witch of the Well! It's a wormhole! A reality well! A door to the echo universe. Ready? EMMA: Ready! DOCTOR: Geronimo. (The Doctor leaps into the wormhole. The rope unwinds from the winch.) CLARA: Doctor! [Pocket universe] (So small the bit of ground is only a few metres deep, and is in black and white. The Doctor removes his harness and runs.) DOCTOR: Hila? Hila! Hila Tacorian! (There is the sound of something else in the wood.) DOCTOR: One, two, three. (He spins around.) HILA [OC]: Help me! Help! (She runs into view.) DOCTOR: Hila Tacorian, I presume. HILA: Who are you? DOCTOR: Collapsing universe. You and me, dead, two minutes. No time complete sentences. Abandon planet. HILA: Wait. There's something in the mist. DOCTOR: Then run. Run! EMMA [OC]: Doctor! Doctor! Come home! Doctor, come home! DOCTOR: Not that way, which means, er, probably. HILA: What's wrong? DOCTOR: You know that exit I mentioned? HILA: Yes? DOCTOR: I seem to have misplaced it. EMMA [OC]: Doctor! DOCTOR: This way. [Music room] EMMA: Doctor! Come home! [Pocket universe] EMMA [OC]: Doctor, we're here. DOCTOR: Whoa. HILA: What's that? DOCTOR: An echo house, in an echo universe. Clever psychic. That is just top-notch. [Music room] EMMA: Doctor! Doctor! [Echo house] (The Doctor locks the main doors, and something scratches at them.) DOCTOR: It's looking for a way in. [Music room] EMMA: I'm not strong enough! CLARA: Just a few more seconds. (Emma screams.) [Echo music room] DOCTOR: Grab the rope. Give it three tugs, quick as you like. (Hila puts on the harness.) HILA: What about you? DOCTOR: I'll be next. (Palmer winds in the rope. The Doctor secures the door and the thing hammers on it.) DOCTOR: Oh, that's what that noise was. Lovely. [Music room] (Emma collapses.) CLARA: No! (The wormhole disappears.) [Pocket universe] (The Doctor is back in the woods with the thing.) DOCTOR: Oh dear. (The Tardis Cloister bell tolls.) DOCTOR: Oh dear. Where are you? [Music room] CLARA: Wake up! Wake up! Open the thing. EMMA: I'm sorry. PALMER: Don't be sorry. Don't be. What you did CLARA: Wasn't enough. She needs to do it again. PALMER: She can't. Look at her. CLARA: She has to! We can't leave him. PALMER: I know that you feel you can't do this, Emma, but look at that woman over there. You saved her. She's only here because of your strength, and so am I. [Outside the Tardis] CLARA: Oh, come on! Let me in, you grumpy old cow! (Clara turns to see herself.) CLARA: Whoa. [Music room] PALMER: I was as lost as her, but being with you, you gave me a reason to be, Emma. You brought me back from the dead. (Emma puts the headset back on and all three join hands.) [Outside the Tardis] CLARA: What's this now? HOLO-CLARA: The Tardis Voice Visual Interface. I'm programmed to select the image of a person you esteem. Of several billion such images in my databanks, this one best meets the criterion. CLARA: Oh. Oh, you are a cow. I knew it. Whatever. You have to help the Doctor. HOLO-CLARA: The Doctor is in the pocket universe. CLARA: You can enter the pocket universe. HOLO-CLARA: The entropy would drain the energy from my heart. In four seconds, I'd be stranded. In ten, I'd be dead. CLARA: You're talking, but all I hear is muh muh muh. Come on, let's go. (The hologram vanishes.) CLARA: Hey, hey, hey! [Music room] EMMA: Doctor. (The wormhole reappears.) EMMA: Can you hear me? Doctor! [Outside the Tardis] CLARA: Oh, come on. (The door opens.) [Music room] EMMA: Doctor, can you hear me? [Tardis] (While the Doctor runs through the woods, the Tardis plummets down a vortex, with Clara hanging on for dear life.) CLARA: Ah! Whoa! [Music room] EMMA: Doctor! [Pocket universe] (The echo house appears.) EMMA [OC]: Doctor, we're here. Come home. DOCTOR: Emma? (Snarl.) DOCTOR: What do you want? To frighten me, I suppose, eh? Because that's what you do. You hide. You're the bogeyman under the bed, seeking whom you may devour. (Laughter.) DOCTOR: You want me to be afraid. Then well done. I am the Doctor, and I am afraid. (Ho, ho, ho, ho.) [Music room] EMMA: Doctor, hurry! [Pocket universe] DOCTOR: So why am I still here, huh? Why not just eat me? Ha? Come on. Because you still need me. (A bizarre quadruped peers round the trunk of a tree.) DOCTOR: Yeah, you need me to piggyback you across. To which I say, come on then, big boy, chase me. (It catches him and knocks him down. Then the Tardis comes whirling through the air with Clara still screaming. The Doctor runs and grabs the sill. In the music room, Emma screams and the Tardis materialises with the Doctor still outside. The morning sun shines in.) [Caliburn House] EMMA: You wanted a word? DOCTOR: Well, if that's EMMA: That's fine. You didn't come here for the ghost, did you? DOCTOR: No. EMMA: You came here for me. DOCTOR: Yes. EMMA: Why? DOCTOR: I needed to ask you something. EMMA: Then ask. DOCTOR: Clara. EMMA: Yes? DOCTOR: What is she? EMMA: She's a girl. DOCTOR: Yes, but what kind of girl, specifically? EMMA: She's a perfectly ordinary girl. Very pretty, very clever, more scared than she lets on. DOCTOR: And that's it, is it? EMMA: Why? Is that not enough? [Outside the Tardis] (Emma hugs Hila goodbye.) EMMA: Where will you go? HILA: He can't take me home. History says I went missing. EMMA: But he can change history. DOCTOR: No, no, no, I can't, actually. There are fixed points in time, you see CLARA: Hi. DOCTOR: What? (Clara takes the Doctor away.) HILA: I knew you were there. I could feel you. EMMA: I know. HILA: Have we? EMMA: We can't have. You haven't even been born yet. DOCTOR: No, you can't have met but she can be your great, great, great, great, great granddaughter. Yours too, of course. But you guessed that already, didn't you. Oh. Apparently not. PALMER: The paradoxes DOCTOR: Resolve themselves, by and large. That's why the psychic link was so powerful. Blood calling to blood, out of time. Not everything ends. Not love. Not always. PALMER: Doctor, what about, what about us? Emma and me? DOCTOR: What about you? PALMER: Well, what's supposed to happen? I mean, what do we do now? DOCTOR: Hold hands. That's what you're meant to do. Keep doing that and don't let go. That's the secret. CLARA [memory]: Doctor! I'm not happy. DOCTOR [memory]: Yeah, you need me to piggyback you across. DOCTOR [memory]: I'm not holding your hand. DOCTOR: Oh, I'm so slow! I am slow. I'm notorious for it. That's always been my problem. But, but I get there in the end. Oh yes. CLARA: Doctor? DOCTOR: How do sharks make babies? CLARA: Carefully? DOCTOR: No, no, no. Happily! CLARA: Sharks don't actually smile. They're just, well, they've got lots and lots of teeth. They're quite eaty. DOCTOR: Exactly. But birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. Every lonely monster needs a companion. (There is movement at an upper window of the house.) CLARA: There's two of them? DOCTOR: It's the oldest story in the universe, this one or any other. Boy and girl fall in love, get separated by events. War, politics, accidents in time. She's thrown out of the hex, or he's thrown into it. Since then they've been yearning for each other across time and space, across dimensions. This isn't a ghost story, it's a love story! (Then he realises he has put his arm around Clara's shoulders.) DOCTOR: Sorry. (He runs back to Hila, Emma and Palmer.) DOCTOR: Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt the rest of your life. So. Tiny favour to ask. [Pocket universe] DOCTOR: I'm sorry! I understand now! I can take you to her! I can take you to a safe place far away from here! You can be together! Well, come on, then. She's waiting! (The creature is next to him.) DOCTOR: Well, hello again, you old Romeo, you. Now, here she comes. (It is the Tardis, with Clara on board.) DOCTOR: Get ready to jump. [Salvage ship] (Van Baalan Bros salvage ship A89//0989 is powering its way through space. Clue - a photograph of three men has one side torn off. Two men are asleep in their bunks whilst a third - not in the photograph - is cleaning parts. He has a barcode on his neck and bionic eyes. The computer beeps.) COMPUTER: Incoming salvage. Please validate. Incoming salvage. Please validate. Incoming salvage. Please validate. (The taller of the two men gets up.) BRAM: Rusty garbage. It's not worth lacing up my boots. TRICKY: Wasting our time. There's no salvage this far out. BRAM: You're a lucky boy, Tricky. You're an android. You don't get bored. (They look across at another man still in his bunk.) TRICKY: He won't turn back. Not with half a cargo. BRAM: He's not captain. We're equal partners. TRICKY: Yeah. Right. [Tardis] DOCTOR: You said CLARA: I know what I said. I was the one who said it. DOCTOR: You said it was looking at you funny. CLARA: I was tired, overwrought. I didn't mean it. It's an appliance. It does a job. DOCTOR: It's a pretty cool appliance. We're not talking cheese grater here. CLARA: You're not getting me to talk to your ship. That's properly bonkers. DOCTOR: (to console) It's okay, it's okay. CLARA: You're like one of those guys who can't go out with a girl unless his mother approves. DOCTOR: It's important to me you get along. I could leave you two alone together. CLARA: Now you're creeping me out. DOCTOR: Take the wheel. Not the wheel. I'll make it easy. Shut it down to basic mode for you. CLARA: Basic? Because I'm a girl? DOCTOR: No. (And turns a key labelled 'Smiths'. [Salvage ship] GREGOR: Everyone suit up. It's good salvage. I can smell it. (Their radar has picked up the Tardis.) BRAM: It's just trash. TRICKY: No, look. There's something tasty in the magno-field. COMPUTER: Magno-grab ready. Engaging. (The cargo doors open wide like jaws.) GREGOR: Move yourself. (They get dressed - heavy boots, overalls, and a small grenade-like device. A blue energy beam shoots out and grabs the Tardis whilst loud music plays.) [Tardis] (And the power goes out just as Clara operates a control.) CLARA: What have I done? DOCTOR: Er, okay. CLARA: Doctor? DOCTOR: All the electrical impulses are jammed. I can't get the shields back up. She's completely vulnerable. CLARA: I swear I just touched it. (The Doctor manages to push up a breaker lever and there is a big bang.) DOCTOR: Magnetic hobble-field. We're flying right into it. Clara, stay by me. CLARA: Please tell me there's a button you can press to fix this. DOCTOR: Oh, yes. Big friendly button. CLARA: You're lying. DOCTOR: Yep. CLARA: To stop me freaking out? DOCTOR: Is it working? CLARA: Not so much. (The grenade device rolls along the floor. Clara picks it up and it burns her hand. She drops it again. Bang!) [Salvage ship] (Huge sets of pincers pass the Tardis along inside the ship.) TRICKY: What is it, some kind of escape pod? GREGOR: Come on. (The Tardis has been dumped onto a pile of cables and is lying at 45 degrees.) GREGOR: Crack it open. (Gregor runs forward with a large hammer. That has no effect. Next comes the focused laser cutter.) BRAM: It's doing nothing. GREGOR: Use the thermo-charge and blast it. TRICKY: No, no, no, wait. It's like she's alive. She's, she's suffering. I can feel it. I can feel it. That's just robot rant. BRAM: No, Gregor, he's right. Looks like there's a broken fuel line. (Steam is coming out of the top of the Tardis.) GREGOR: All right. All right, put it back. No salvage today, boys. Open the bay doors. TRICKY: Wait. (Tricky's bionic eye zooms in on a boot sticking out of the cables under the Tardis.) TRICKY: Somebody's under that thing. The crew were still on board when we dragged her in. GREGOR: We did nothing. If anyone asks, that ship was already busted. You got that? And you, make sure you keep your oily mouth shut, right? DOCTOR: It's rude to whisper. Hi. I'm the Doctor. And you are? Er, Van Baalen and Van Baalen. Van Baalen and Van Baalen. That's going to get confusing later. GREGOR: We found you drifting. BRAM: Yeah, your ship was junked up pretty bad. DOCTOR: What broke my ship was a magno-grab. Found this remote in your pocket. Eh? What are the chances? Outlawed in most galaxies, this little beastie can disable whole vessels unless you have shield oscillators, which I turned off so that Clara could fly, damn it. Clara. Where is she? Girl, about so high. Feisty. She's still on board. TRICKY: No, wait. Your pod is leaking fuel. If she's still in here, she's dead. DOCTOR: Ah, respirators. GREGOR: We can open the doors for a split second, reach in and grab her. DOCTOR: Trust me, we can't. Now please, help me get her out. TRICKY: I'm telling you, she fried GREGOR: Shut it, tin mouth. What sort of fee are we talking? DOCTOR: If you help me get her out, you get the machine, all the scrap, eh? BRAM: It's not worth the risk. Four feet of metal? Nah. DOCTOR: What if I can guarantee you the best haul you've ever had? GREGOR: Bram, open the bay doors. DOCTOR: No, no. Please, stop. Listen, listen. Right behind those doors is the salvage of a lifetime. [Corridor] (Inside the Tardis, the Cloister bell is tolling. Clara wakes up under an ornate but light piece of rubble.) CLARA: Doctor? Doctor? (She blows on her burnt palm and walks along to a bulkhead door.) CLARA: Red flashing light means something bad. Get out of here fast? Or possibly, whatever you do, don't open this door. (So she opens the door. There is an explosion.) CLARA: Bad decision. (She runs from the fireball and closes the next bulkhead door she finds. There are deep claw marks in the wall nearby, and something growls.) [Salvage ship] BRAM: Hey, are we really going to risk it? That thing is spewing poison. We should blow it back into space. GREGOR: Get your gear. BRAM: Hey, I don't take orders from my kid brother. GREGOR: Don't try and form sentences, all right? Stick to what you do best. DOCTOR: Tell me, since when does an android need a blast suit and a respirator? BRAM: Flesh coating, same as us. He'd burn up. TRICKY: No fear, no hate, no pain. (The Doctor unlocks the Tardis.) GREGOR: Salvage of a lifetime? DOCTOR: I feel pretty confident I can deliver on that. Here we go. [Tardis] GREGOR: I don't get it. I thought she was lying on her side. DOCTOR: The Tardis is special. She has her own gravity. I'd explain if I had some charts and a board pen. GREGOR: It's, it's, it's bigger DOCTOR: On the inside. Do you know, I get that a lot. TRICKY: Whoa. Awesome. DOCTOR: Well put. Whoa and awesome. (The Doctor vents the fumes from the console room.) DOCTOR: Safe to breathe. (They all remove the respirators. The Doctor scans with the sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Okay, now, the last thing I remember, you were right there. Come on, Clara, talk to me. BRAM: How big is this baby? DOCTOR: Picture the biggest ship you've ever seen. Are you picturing it? BRAM: Yeah. DOCTOR: Good. Now forget it, because this ship is infinite. GREGOR: It could take you hours to find the girl. DOCTOR: Days. Plus this whole place is toxic. She could be dead by the time I reach her. So, here's the mission. We're going to find her in one hour. GREGOR: We? DOCTOR: You're my guys for this. GREGOR: That wasn't the deal. DOCTOR: 'Tis now. BRAM: What makes you think we'll help? (A countdown clock starts on the scanner.) DOCTOR: I just activated the Tardis self-destruct system. One hour until this ship blows. (Bram runs for the door, which slams in his face.) DOCTOR: Don't try to leave. The Tardis is in lockdown. I'll open those doors when Clara's by my side. BRAM: You crazy lunatic! DOCTOR: My ship, my rules. GREGOR: You'll kill us all. And the girl. DOCTOR: She's going to die if you don't help me. Don't get into a spaceship with a madman. Didn't anyone ever teach you that? Okay, a little gently persuasion. Say thirty minutes. (The countdown jumps to 29:59:10.) BRAM: She'll die even quicker now! DOCTOR: We all perform better under pressure. Anybody want to go for fifteen minutes? BRAM: Whoa! GREGOR: Whoa! DOCTOR: It's your own time you're wasting. Salvage of a lifetime. You meant the ship. I meant Clara. [Storeroom] (Clara finds an old-fashioned room with a stone arched door, and the Doctor's cradle. She takes down a model of the Tardis from a shelf. Someone or something else is there with her. Clara spots it as she picks up a black umbrella.) CLARA: Oh! (And runs out.) [Corridor] (Gregor hangs back from the Doctor, Tricky and Bram.) GREGOR: Report. What's on board this thing? COMPUTER: Dynomorphic generators, conceptual geometer, beam synthesiser, orthogonal engine filters. (He catches the others up.) GREGOR: Guys, guys, look, I think we should split up. It's our best chance of finding the girl. You know it is. DOCTOR: Don't touch a thing. The Tardis will get huffy if you mess. GREGOR: Keep in radio contact, all right? (Tricky nods and goes off with the Doctor.) GREGOR: Get back to the console. Strip it apart. BRAM: Okay. GREGOR: All right? (They split up. Meanwhile, Clara is running from the growling biped, past an observatory with lovely big Victorian telescope and an open air swimming pool into -) [Library] (Letters are starting to appear on her burnt palm. This library has both shelves of books and shelves of bottles. Six stories of them. CLARA: Now that's just showing off. [Tardis] (Bram prises off a section of the console.) SUSAN [OC]: I made up the name Tardis from the initials Time And Relative Dimension In Space. DOCTOR 3 [OC]: The Tardis is dimensionally transcendental. JO: [OC]: What does that mean? DOCTOR 4 [OC]: That's trans-dimensional engineering. A key Time Lord discovery. DOCTOR 9 [OC]: The assembled hordes of Genghis Khan couldn't get through that door. Believe me, they've tried. AMY [OC]: We are in space! IAN [OC]: It can move anywhere in time and space? (And other indistinct phrases.) [Corridor] (Gregor is following the beeps on his scanner.) COMPUTER: Everything. GREGOR: What? Report. COMPUTER: Everything, behind that door. GREGOR: Everything? COMPUTER: Sensor detects everything you could possibly want. [ARS room] (Of course, he goes in. There are lots of cables dangling down, with large glowing bulbs on the end.) COMPUTER: Everything. GREGOR: I don't understand. Give me a price tag. COMPUTER: Incalculable. GREGOR: What? COMPUTER: More valuable than the total sum of any currency. Living metal. Bespoke engineering. Whatever machine you require, this system will build it. (Gregor raises the focused laser cutter to take some. The Doctor and Tricky run in.) DOCTOR: No! No, no, stop! Please, don't. Don't touch it. Please. She won't let you touch it. I can feel a Tardis tantrum coming on. GREGOR: What the hell is this place? DOCTOR: Architectural Reconfiguration System. It reconstructs particles according to your needs. GREGOR: A machine that makes machines? DOCTOR: Yes, basically. What are you doing? No, no, don't. Don't! (Gregor takes hold of one of the Gallifreyan engraved light bulbs.) DOCTOR: If you walk out of here with that circuit, the Tardis will try to stop you. Now listen to me. Look, the clock is ticking. We must find Clara. (Gregor pulls off the light bulb and the whole ship roars.) GREGOR: What the? Where's the door gone? DOCTOR: Ever seen a spaceship get ugly? GREGOR: This isn't happening. DOCTOR: She won't relinquish it. Her basic genetic material. GREGOR: Torch it. I said, torch it. TRICKY: Can't you feel it, Gregor? The ship, the ship's in torment, like it's a living thing. You can't hurt it. (Gregor puts the light bulb in his backpack, and the door returns.) GREGOR: What's the matter, Tardis? Scared to fight me? [Library] (Clara finds a large bound book on its own special stand - The History of the Time War. She opens it in the middle and does a little reading.) CLARA: So that's who (Clang, growl. She dodges behind another rack of books and bottle to hide from the thing. Above her are bottles containing the Encyclopedia Gallifreyica. We can hear muffled voices. Clara presses back against the rack, one of the bottles tips over, and the words tumble out over her head. She wafts them away so the creature cannot hear. It gets close and she runs for the entrance.) [Junction] TRICKY: It's the same. It's just the same. DOCTOR: It's diverting us, spinning a maze around us. We will never reach Clara in time. (Gregor walks away, and they follow.) DOCTOR: Hey! Hey! (And return from the opposite direction.) TRICKY: It's just the same, again. DOCTOR: No point in building walls. You'll just know how to smash them down. It's found other ways of controlling you. Smart bunch, Time Lords. No dress sense, dreadful hats, but smart. If you want to get out of here, let that circuit go. It is creating a labyrinth. GREGOR: Bram? Bram, can you hear me? [Under the console room] GREGOR [OC]: Bram, the ship is alive. Get out of there. Bram, don't touch anything. BRAM: You're just the sweetest thing ever. [Console room] CLARA: Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. (She kisses the console.) CLARA: No! The door. Where's the door gone? No. You can't do this. [Under the console room] (Bram is following glowing power cables further and further down.) GREGOR [OC]: Bram? You've got to get out of there fast. (The cables touch Bram, and he falls. Once he has got up and dusted himself off, something attacks him. Screams and twitches, then he is still.) [Junction] GREGOR: Channel's dead. TRICKY: We've got to help him. Gregor, do something. Do something! GREGOR: It's too late, he's gone. Let's just worry about the salvage. TRICKY: You care more about that circuit than you do about him. DOCTOR: Your concern for your brother is really touching. The android is more cut up about it that you. Now will you two stop bickering and listen. There is something else down there. TRICKY: We've got to get out of here. Gregor, give it back. Give it back to her. (Tricky takes the light bulb from Gregor's pack.) GREGOR: What are you doing? You're always on the side of the machines. DOCTOR: Fellas! Multiple lifeforms on board the Tardis with us. I am getting a massive signal. TRICKY: Where are they? DOCTOR: Oh, you're not going to like the answer. About two steps away. One step. (Behind them. A strange conjoined twins creature attacks.) DOCTOR: Gregor, look out! Careful! Gregor, no! We have to stay together. Come on, run. Tricky, run. I'm sorry. [Console room] (Clara discovers there is more than one console room, each at the end of a corridor.) CLARA: Oh, why are you doing this? [Console room 2] TRICKY: Back where we started. DOCTOR: No, it's an echo. The console room is the safest place on the ship. It can replicate itself any number of times. It's trying to protect us. TRICKY: Because I tried to give back the circuit? DOCTOR: Team Tardis. (The Doctor rummages in the wreck of the console. A piece of metal falls, and lands in Clara's console room.) TRICKY: Where did, where did that go? DOCTOR: There's more than one echo room. Hey, look, look. The Tardis has got Clara safe. That was her. That was her there. Thank you, thank you, thank you. TRICKY: Why can't we see her? DOCTOR: It's like a light switch. Two positions, flickering at super-infinite speeds. We're only together for a brief second. Shush. (They can hear Clara panting.) DOCTOR: I can hear her. (Clara opens an internal door. The creature is behind it. She screams. The Doctor and Tricky can hear the growling.) TRICKY: She's let it in. She's let it in! DOCTOR: If I can just isolate her position, I can nudge the alternation, reach in and grab her. [Console room] (Dodging around the console.) CLARA: Who are you? [Console room 2] COMPUTER: Console room, echo imprint of the original. GREGOR: You're coming with me. I need you to get me out of here. (The Doctor sonicks Gregor's hand computer.) COMPUTER: Scanning for female human. Scanning for female human. Unidentified human. DOCTOR: It doesn't know Lancashire. GREGOR: What? DOCTOR: It doesn't know sass. Yes! It's found Clara. It's found her. She is right there. (Clara screams, and partially appears. The Doctor grabs her and drags her through.) DOCTOR: It's all right. Clara, I'm so, so sorry. Sorry. Please, please forgive me, Clara. (Clara hits him.) DOCTOR: Ow! Okay, so we're not doing hugging. I get that now. CLARA: What do you keep in here? Why have you got zombie creatures? Good guys do not have zombie creatures. Rule one basic storytelling. DOCTOR: Not in front of the guests. CLARA: Who are they? DOCTOR: Friends. Well, people who aren't trying to kill us, so I don't need punching again. GREGOR: All right, all right. Look, a deal's a deal. You got the girl back. Now cancel the self-destruct. DOCTOR: Ah. Ah. You know, I've got to tell you, I won't be needing you in my quiz team. GREGOR: What? DOCTOR: There is no self-destruct. Hey? Hey? Hey? Had you going though, boys, didn't I? I just wiggled a few buttons. Yeah, the old wiggly button trick. And the face. You've got to do the face. Save her or we all die. I though I rushed it a bit, but TRICKY: So you're telling us we're safe? DOCTOR: Ish. Apart from the monsters and the Tardis reinventing the architecture every five minutes. Guys, don't worry. The countdown's a fake. Look, just give me a second. I'll turn it off. I only made it look as though the engine was actually exploding. (Eye of Harmony. Engine status: Overload.) DOCTOR: Ah. That's not good. Okay, don't panic. Or maybe panic. CLARA: Something you want to share with the rest of us? DOCTOR: It appears the engine is damaged. We're in trouble, Clara. Proper trouble. It needs fixing or we're toast. CLARA: So now would be a good time to use that big friendly button, right? DOCTOR: Yes. Sorry, I should have had one built in. TRICKY: Where are we going? DOCTOR: Detour. (They run down the stairs and the Doctor sonicks open a hexagonal panel.) DOCTOR: The centre of the Tardis. [Corridor] (The Doctor is scanning as he leads the troop. Something flashes across the corridor.) CLARA: Shush. Something's in here. TRICKY: Those things, they've followed us. CLARA: Doctor, what are they? What aren't you telling me? DOCTOR: Trust me. Some things you don't want to know. (Something crosses behind them.) GREGOR: They're on the move again. DOCTOR: Run. Move, move. (Clara gets separated from the men.) CLARA: Doctor? Doctor? Again. (The burn on her hand is becoming clearer - mirror writing.) CLARA 2: I know what I said. I was the one who said it. DOCTOR [OC]: You said it was looking at you funny. CLARA 2: Now you're creeping me out. Please tell me there is a button you can press to fix this? (Present time Clara goes round the corner and sees the Doctor.) CLARA: Oh, thank god. Doctor, what's going on? Say something. (The now Doctor comes up behind her.) DOCTOR: Clara, stop. Don't touch it. There's a rupture in time somewhere on board the ship. A small tear in the fabric of the continuum. It must have happened when the Tardis was pulled in by the salvage vessel. The Tardis is leaking. CLARA: Leaking what? (He leads her along the corridors.) DOCTOR: The past. You and me. Everything we've done, everything we've said. Recent history. It's not real. It's a memory. (They come across the single bodied glowing red eyed creature.) CLARA: What about this? DOCTOR: If you're giving me the option, I'd say this one's real. (They run away. It chases them.) DOCTOR: She's right on to us. CLARA: She? DOCTOR: Clara, don't ask me any more. CLARA 2: You're like one of those guys who can't go out with a girl unless his mother approves. DOCTOR [OC]: It's important to me you get along. (The creature follows the echo people. There is a banging sound.) CLARA: What's that noise? DOCTOR: We're right under the primary fuel cells. CLARA: So? So, so what? DOCTOR: So, so the fuel's spilled out, so the rods will be exposed. Means they'll cool CLARA: And start to warp. DOCTOR: And start to warp. Maybe even CLARA: No, you don't say it. Don't you dare say it. DOCTOR: Maybe even break apart. (A rod flies through the walls just in front of them.) CLARA: Run? DOCTOR: I'm liking how you're thinking. CLARA: Yeah. (They run as more rods pierce the corridors from different angles. Up ahead, someone screams. Tricky has been speared by a rod through his shoulder.) TRICKY: Cut it off. Just cut my arm off. GREGOR: No. TRICKY: It's the quickest way to release me. No fear, no hate, no pain. I can get a new one. Disposable parts. Just do it. It won't hurt me. GREGOR: Tricky, you just don't understand. TRICKY: I'm an android. Cut me! CLARA: You made it through. TRICKY: What's the matter with you? Why won't you cut me? DOCTOR: Tell him. TRICKY: Tell me what? DOCTOR: You can't, can you. You're a coward. You won't save him, but you're scared to tell him why. TRICKY: What's he going on about? DOCTOR: Robots don't need blast suits. They don't need respirators. They don't get frightened of monsters in the dark. TRICKY: What's he talking about? DOCTOR: Two bionic eyes and a synthetic voice box. But you, my friend, are human. Flesh and blood. GREGOR: It was a joke. TRICKY: What? GREGOR: It was just a stupid joke. We did it to relieve the boredom. DOCTOR: Well, it was very funny. They lied to you. Changed your identity just to provide some in-flight entertainment. GREGOR: I'm sorry. You're human, Tricky. DOCTOR: Cut the metal. Cut the metal! Go! [Outside the Eye of Harmony] GREGOR: Where are we? DOCTOR: Power source. Right, you lot, wait here. I'll check it's safe. We can only survive for a minute or two in there. CLARA: Er, what happens if we stay longer? DOCTOR: Our cells with liquefy and our skin will start to burn. CLARA: I always feel so good after we've spoken. DOCTOR: Marvellous. Keep this door shut. CLARA: That will not be a problem. (The Doctor enters the room. Gregor scans Clara.) COMPUTER: Lancashire. Sass. GREGOR: Intelligent sensor. TRICKY: Ever pointed that thing at yourself, Gregor? What would it see? What sort of person does this to another human? Made them believe they're made of metal. Who am I? (Gregor rips a patch off his suit. Van Baalen Bros. The Doctor runs through the engine room and pulls open a door on the other side.) GREGOR: My mouthy little kid brother. TRICKY: Why, why can't I remember? GREGOR: It was a salvage accident. There was a big explosion. You lost your sight, voice and your memory. TRICKY: And you, you thought of a way you could have some fun with me? I just wanted a brother beside me! GREGOR: You were always the smart one, Tricky. He wanted you to take over. He made you captain. TRICKY: He? GREGOR: Dad. TRICKY: I don't remember him. You did this to me just to be captain of a heap of junk. (Tricky attacks Gregor.) DOCTOR: Stop! Tricky, listen to me. Ask yourself why he couldn't cut you up. He has just one tiny scrap of decency left in him, and you helped him find that, okay? Now you. Don't ever forget this. [Eye of Harmony] (Very orange atmosphere.) DOCTOR: Okay, move, move, move. (They all run onto the catwalk.) DOCTOR: The Eye of Harmony. Exploding star in the act of becoming a black hole. Time Lord engineering. You rip the star from its orbit, suspend it in a permanent state of decay. This way, quickly. (But there is a creature behind the other door. And the female is at the one they have just come through.) GREGOR: There's no way out. We're trapped. CLARA: You're going to tell me right now. If we're going to die here, you're going to tell me what they are. DOCTOR: I can't. CLARA: Tell me. What's the use in secrets now? DOCTOR: Secrets protect us. Secrets make us safe. CLARA: We're not safe! COMPUTER: Sensor detects animal DNA. Human core element. Calculating data. Calculating data. DOCTOR: No, no, turn it off! COMPUTER: Lancashire. Sass. Identifiable substance. Clara. CLARA: That's me. DOCTOR: I'm so sorry. CLARA: It's me. I burn in here. DOCTOR: It isn't just the past leaking out through the time rift. It's the future. Listen, I brought you here to keep you safe, but it happened again. You died again. CLARA: What do you mean, again? (Tricky and Gregor are trying to keep the door closed against another creature.) DOCTOR: Hang on. As long as we can interrupt the timeline, this can't happen. Don't touch each other, otherwise the future will reassert itself. (He pulls them back, and the creature breaks in. It claws at Gregor's backpack with the light bulb in it.) DOCTOR: Gregor, Gregor, let go of the circuit. TRICKY: Just let it go. DOCTOR: Gregor, Gregor. (Tricky knocks this creature off the catwalk. Presumably it is future burnt Doctor or maybe Bram, although he is already dead. Then the conjoined creature and burnt Clara break in.) DOCTOR: Okay. Er, er (Tricky attacks the conjoined creature, kicking it off the catwalk. He is left dangling.) GREGOR: Tricky! CLARA: Doctor? DOCTOR: No, don't touch him, or time will reassert itself. (Gregor pulls Tricky up onto the catwalk and they change into the conjoined creature. The Doctor and Clara get out just in time.) [Engine room] DOCTOR: The engine room. The heart of the Tardis. (They run forward to the edge of a cliff.) CLARA: We're outside. DOCTOR: No, we're still in the Tardis. CLARA: There's no way across. DOCTOR: No, okay, you're right. CLARA: So what do we do? Time for a plan. Do you have a plan? DOCTOR: Well, no. No plan. Sorry. CLARA: If you don't have a plan, we're dead. DOCTOR: Yes, we are. So just tell me. CLARA: Tell you what? DOCTOR: Well, there's no point now. We're about to die. Just tell me who you are. CLARA: You know who I am. DOCTOR: No, I don't. I look at you every single day and I don't understand a thing about you. Why do I keep running into you? CLARA: Doctor, you invited me. You said DOCTOR: Before that. I met you in the Dalek Asylum. There was a girl in a shipwreck and she died saving my life, and she was you. CLARA: She really wasn't. DOCTOR: Victorian London. There was a governess who was really a barmaid, and we fought the Great Intelligence together. She died and it was my fault, and she was you. CLARA: You're scaring me. DOCTOR: What are you, eh? Are you a trick, a trap? CLARA: I don't know what you're talking about! (And nearly steps back off the edge of the cliff. The Doctor grabs her and holds her tight in his arms.) DOCTOR: You really don't, do you. CLARA: I think I'm more scared of you right now than anything else on that Tardis. DOCTOR: You're just Clara, aren't you. (Another hug.) CLARA: Okay, I don't know what the hell this is about, but the hug is really nice. DOCTOR: We're not going to die here. This isn't real! It's a snarl. CLARA: What? DOCTOR: What does a wounded animal do? It tries to scare everyone away. We're close to the engine. The Tardis is snarling at us, trying to frighten us off. We need to jump. CLARA: You're insane. DOCTOR: We'll cross a portal to the engine. CLARA: How can you be so sure? DOCTOR: I can't. CLARA: Okay, well, that's watertight. DOCTOR: Hey now, Clara, I have piloted this ship for over nine hundred years. Trust me this one time, please. Okay. Okay. As well as all the other times. Ready? Geronimo. (They run and jump off the edge of the cliff into a white space filled with pieces of metal frozen in time as they travel out from an explosion.) DOCTOR: The heart of the Tardis. The engine, it's already exploded. It must have been the collision with the salvage ship. CLARA: We're not dead. DOCTOR: She wrapped her hands around the force. Froze it. CLARA: So, so it's safe? DOCTOR: Temporary fix. Eventually this whole place will erupt. There's no way I can save her now. She's just always been there for me, and taken care of me, and now it's my turn and I don't know what to do. I think it just (Clara takes his hand, and he sees the burn marks on it.) DOCTOR: Oh, Clara. Oh. (She has Big Friendly Button burnt into her palm.) DOCTOR: You are beautiful. Beautiful fragile human skin. Like parchment. Thank you. The rift in time. All the memories leaking out. I need to find the moment we crashed. I need to find the music. [Under the time console] (With the music that the Brothers were playing as they used their magno-grab. There is a vertical crack in the wall with bright light streaming through.) DOCTOR: The time rift. Recent past, possible future. CLARA: What are you going to do? DOCTOR: Rewrite today, I hope. (He uses the sonic screwdriver to etch the letters onto the grenade.) DOCTOR: I've thrown this through the rift before. I need to make sure this time. Going to take it in there myself. There might be a certain amount of yelling. CLARA: It's going to hurt? DOCTOR: Things that end your life often do that. CLARA: Wait! All those things you said. How we've met before, how I died. DOCTOR: Clara, don't worry. You'll forget. Time mends us. It can mend anything. CLARA: I don't want to forget. Not all of it. The library. I saw it. You were mentioned in a book. DOCTOR: I'm mentioned in a lot of books. CLARA: You call yourself Doctor. Why do you do that? You have a name. I've seen it. In one corner of that tiny DOCTOR: If I rewrite today, you won't remember. You won't go looking for my name. CLARA: You'll still have secrets. DOCTOR: It's better that way. (The Doctor forces his way through the crack in the wall, screaming as he pushes against an immense force until he suddenly vanishes.) [Tardis] (And back to the start of the show, near enough.) DOCTOR: Magnetic hobble-field. We're flying right into it. Clara, stay by me. CLARA: Please tell me there's a button you can press to fix this. DOCTOR: Oh, yes. Big friendly button. CLARA: You're lying. DOCTOR: Yep. CLARA: To stop me freaking out? DOCTOR: Is it working? CLARA: Not so much. (The future Doctor pushes through the crack.) FUTURE DOCTOR: Doctor, Doctor. I'm from your future. We haven't got long to reset time. (He vanishes. The grenade rolls across the floor to Clara. She picks it up.) DOCTOR: Clara, no! No! (The Doctor catches the grenade as she drops it.) DOCTOR: Ah ha! Big friendly button. (He hits it. Whiteout.) [Salvage ship] (The Tardis vanishes from their radar.) TRICKY: I don't get it. It was on screen, then it was gone. BRAM: Hey, robot, go get me some food. I'm starving. GREGOR: Oi, leave him alone. BRAM: What's the matter with you? GREGOR: Maybe I've just got a little tiny scrap of decency. (On the wall is the whole photograph - the father and his three sons.) [Tardis] (The reset is complete. The encounter with the Van Baalen Brothers salvage ship never happened. Clara is drying her hair.) CLARA: I feel exhausted. I feel DOCTOR: We've had two days crammed into the space of one. CLARA: Why would you say that? DOCTOR: I don't know. I say stuff. Ignore me. Do you feel safe? CLARA: Of course. DOCTOR: Give me a number out of ten. Ten being whoo hoo, one being argh. CLARA: You're being weird. DOCTOR: I need to know if you feel safe. I need to know you're not afraid. CLARA: Of? DOCTOR: The future. Running away with a spaceman in a box. Anything could happen to you. CLARA: That's what I'm counting on. Push the button. [Factory corridor] (Yorkshire 1893. In a small town perched on the side of a hill, with factories belching smoke down by the river.) EDMUND: If I have not returned in an hour, you must fetch the police. EFFIE: Edmund! (She kisses her husband.) EDMUND: Don't fret, Effie, my dear. All will be well, but we must get to the bottom of this dark and queer business no matter what the cost. (Edmund walks to the end of the corridor, where there is a room with a red glow coming through the round window in the door. He goes inside. A door opens behind Effie and a group of ladies in black gowns and bonnets step through.) EFFIE: Mrs Gillyflower! (An elderly lady.) GILLYFLOWER: We have come about your husband, my dear. A tragedy. EFFIE: My husband? GILLYFLOWER: Your late husband. EFFIE: There must be some mistake. My husband is quite well. (A scream from behind the door.) GILLYFLOWER: We're so very sorry for your loss. (Effie screams.) [Morgue] (The attendant uncovers the corpse of Edmund. He is frozen mid-scream and staring, and his skin is bright red.) AMOS: Hell fire. That's put me right off me mash. Another one. THURSDAY: Another? (The speaker is the spitting image of the late Edmund, but with a moustache.) AMOS: He's not the first one I've had in here looking like that. The Crimson Horror, that's what they're calling it. THURSDAY: I have no interest in the deplorable excesses of the Penny Dreadfuls. AMOS: Hey, hey. Payment in advance, flower. Taking a big risk, you see, I am. They'll have my vitals for fiddle-strings if they knew I'd let you come to look at one of their precious stiffs. THURSDAY: This stiff is my brother. I've come up from London to bring him home. AMOS: Oh aye? [Conservatory] (At the back of an elegant house - 13 Paternoster Row, London.) THURSDAY: Thank you for agreeing to this meeting. I'm told you are the investigator to see if there are strange goings-on. (The lady of the house is heavily veiled.) VASTRA: I read of your brother's death. Another victim of the Crimson Horror, I believe. THURSDAY: So it is claimed. He was a newspaper man. He and a young woman were working undercover. Tell me, madam, do you know what an optogram is? VASTRA: It is a silly superstition, sir. The belief that the eye can retain an image of the last thing it sees. (See the Ark In Space. Mister Thursday has taken photographs of his dead brother Edmund's staring eyes. He passes one to Jenny the maid, who hands it on to her mistress. Vastra throws back her veil.) VASTRA: Good grief. THURSDAY: Oh, god. (And faints.) [Dark room] (Jenny and Vastra make enlargements of the photographs.) JENNY: Well, I'll be blowed. I think, madam, that we'd better make plans to head north. (The enlargement reveals an image of a red-faced, screaming Doctor.) [Carriage] VASTRA: According to my research, Sweetville's proprietor holds recruitment drives for her little community. She is only interested in the fittest and the most beautiful. STRAX: You may rely on me, ma'am. VASTRA: I was, in fact, speaking to Jenny. STRAX: Jenny. If this weak and fleshy boy is to represent us, I strongly recommend the issuing of scissor grenades, limbo vapour and triple blast brain splitters. VASTRA: What for? STRAX: Just generally. Remember, we are going to the north. [Chapel] (The poster advertising the meeting proclaims Mrs Winifred Gillyflower on the Present Moral Decay and the Coming Apocalypse.) GILLYFLOWER: Bradford, that Babylon of the moderns with its crystal light and its glitter, all aswarm with the wretched ruins of humanity. Men and women crushed by the devil's juggernaut. (She has a good congregation, who agree with her. Jenny is listening carefully.) GILLYFLOWER: And moral turpitude can destroy the most delicate of lives. Believe me, I know. I know. (A curtain is drawn back.) GILLYFLOWER: Me own daughter, blinded in a drunken rage by my late husband. Her once beautiful eyes, pale and white as mistletoe berries. (The daughter gets up from a chair and taps her way to a covered board.) GILLYFLOWER: And what, my friends, is your story? Will you be found wanting when the End of Days is come, when judgement rains down upon us all? Or will you be preserved against the coming apocalypse? Do not despair. I offer a way out. There is a different path. Sweetville! (The blind woman pulls the cover from an illustration of an ideal community. Factory with two rows of terraced homes, its own chapel and bandstand and gardens. Think along the lines of the original model village of Bourneville.) GILLYFLOWER: Join us. Join us in this shining city on the hill. (sings) Bring me my bow of burning gold. Bring me my arrows of desire. (Later, the congregation are queuing up in front of the pulpit.) GILLYFLOWER: You wish to join us, my dear? JENNY: If it's all the same with you, ma'am. GILLYFLOWER: Oh yes, dear. You'll do very nicely. (Jenny signs the big book.) [Carriage] VASTRA: If our stratagem succeeds, Jenny will infiltrate deep into the black heart of this curious place. STRAX: And how will she locate the Doctor? VASTRA: To find him, she needs only ignore all keep-out signs, go through every locked door, and run towards any form of danger that presents itself. STRAX:: Business as usual, then. VASTRA: Business as usual. [Outside the secret room] (The blind girl makes her way upstairs with a plate of food and goes to a locked room. She lifts a hatch at the base of the door and slides the plate through.) ADA: Did you think I'd forgotten you, dear monster, hmm? (There is a crash and bang inside the room, and she leaves.) [Outside a house] (Mister Thursday knocks on the door. It is opened.) THURSDAY: I have travelled from London expressly to see Madame Vastra. If you'd be so kind as to announce me, my good man. (He hands over his card.) STRAX: Whom shall I say is calling? (Mister Thursday sees who he is talking to, and faints.) [Drawing room] (Mister Thursday is lying on a couch, being fanned by Strax.) STRAX: It asked for permission to enter and then it fell over. What are we to make of it? VASTRA: I imagine Mister Thursday wants to know what progress we are making. The question is, how did the Doctor's image come to be preserved on a dead man's eye? It's a scientific impossibility. I wonder how Jenny is getting on. STRAX: If she hasn't make contact by nightfall, I suggest a massive frontal assault on the factory, madam. Casualties can be kept to perhaps as little as eighty percent. VASTRA: I think there may be subtler ways of proceeding, Strax. STRAX: Suit yourself. [Factory] (Prospective employees both male and female are queuing up. A red-headed woman is talking to Jenny.) ABIGAIL: I'm dead nervous, aren't you? They have to be sure, you see. Only the best for Sweetville. I hope me teeth don't let me down. I'm Abigail. JENNY: Pleased to meet you. ABIGAIL: You're not local, are you. JENNY: Nah. Up from London. ABIGAIL: Different here, I bet. JENNY: Yeah. Like a bleeding horse market. Do you know anyone who's come to live here? In Sweetville, I mean. ABIGAIL: I had a pal who come here three month back. She wrote to tell me how perfect it all were. Funny, though. I've not heard a peep from her since. PILGRIM [OC]: Next, please! ABIGAIL: Hang on, we're moving. (Jenny steps aside to a door and gets her roll of lockpicking tools out.) ABIGAIL: What're you doing? JENNY: Do me a favour. Cause a distraction. ABIGAIL: What? JENNY: Swoon. Have a funny turn. Fit of the vapours. ABIGAIL: Are you crackers? JENNY: Go on. There's a guinea in it for you. ABIGAIL: Done. (Abigail gasps for breath loudly then faints. A crowd gathers around her and Jenny gets through the locked door. It takes her to the factory floor, where the deafening thumps of machinery are being broadcast through three large gramophone horns. There is nothing else here. Jenny sees two men carry a large bottle of red liquid through the room and get into a lift.) [Morgue] AMOS: Them new manufacturers can do horrible things to a person. Horrible. I've pickled things in here that'd fair turn your hair snowy as top of Buckden Pike. VASTRA: You know what I'm looking for. AMOS: Oh, aye. All them bits found in t'canal. The Crimson Horror. (He hands over a large bottle half full of red liquid. Vastra throws back her veil with her back to him.) VASTRA: It hardly seems possible. AMOS: Eh? VASTRA: I think, I think I've seen these symptoms before. AMOS: Oh aye? VASTRA: A long time ago. AMOS: Oh aye? How long? (She turns around.) VASTRA: About sixty five million years. [Dining room] (The Gillyflower ladies are eating their soup.) ADA: I trust you had a pleasant day, Mama? GILLYFLOWER: Tolerable. ADA: Will Mister Sweet ever join us for dinner, Mama? GILLYFLOWER: Mister Sweet is rather tired tonight, I fear. (His place at the head of the table is set, but vacant. Mrs Gillyflower knocks over the salt dish.) GILLYFLOWER: Dear me. How clumsy I'm getting. (She throws a pinch of salt over her right shoulder.) GILLYFLOWER: To keep the Devil at bay. (A manservant nods and leaves. Then Mrs Gillyflower sprinkles some salt inside her clothes.) [Outside the secret room] (Jenny has taken the lift up to the corridor with the red lit door. There is a rhythmic thumping noise coming from above, so she climbs a spiral staircase to another floor and finds another locked door. The one with the hatch at the bottom. She raises the hatch and a red hand grabs her. She struggles free and the hatch slides shut again.) JENNY: All right, mate. You just stay calm now. (thump and rattle of chains) I could open this door. Would you like that? (thump) Thought you might. But you and me has got to come to an arrangement. Savvy? (thump) Now, you stand well back, do you hear me? I don't mean no harm to you, but you try anything funny and I'll leave you here to rot. Is that understood? (thump, thump) Right. [Secret room] JENNY: Doctor! (The Doctor has red skin, a gaping mouth, and is very stiff. He is in chains and his clothes are lying nearby in the straw.) JENNY: What happened to you? Can't you speak? (His skin is tough as leather.) JENNY: Right. Right, we're getting out of here. [Factory corridor] (Jenny helps the Doctor stagger stiff-legged along the corridor.) JENNY: Come on. (The lift comes up.) JENNY: Come on! (It is Ada. She hears their footsteps but heads for the stairs while Jenny guides the Doctor into the red glow room.) [Red glow room] (Through a window they watch people on a frame being manoeuvred over a large vat of bubbling red liquid, then lowered in.) JENNY: Oh my gawd. (The Doctor struggles to point at a row of metal doors behind them.) [Outside the secret room] ADA: You are all I have, monster, but all will be well. Imperfect as we are, there will be room for us in the new Jerusalem. (The door opens under her touch.) [Secret room] (She discovers the empty shackles.) ADA: No. No! Where are you, monster? Where are you? [Red glow room] JENNY: What is it? You want to go in there? (He gets inside the small space. Jenny gives him his clothes, and with groans of pain he powers up the sonic screwdriver. She shuts the door and hides as two men walk past the entrance. A green glow comes from the porthole in the metal door. Then it bursts open and a normal looking and fully dressed Doctor bounces out.) DOCTOR: Ah! Missed me? JENNY: Doctor! DOCTOR: Jenny. Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny. Just when you think your favourite lock-picking Victorian chambermaid will never turn up. Jenny. (The Doctor takes her in his arms, bends her backwards and kisses her long and hard on the lips. She slaps his face.) DOCTOR: You have no idea how good that feels. Right. Mrs Gillyflower. We've got to stop her. And then there's Clara. Poor Clara. Where's Clara? JENNY: Clara? Doctor, wait. DOCTOR: Can't. Clara. Got to find. JENNY: What happened to you? How long have you been like that? DOCTOR: Days, weeks, don't know. Long story. I'll keep it short. [The Doctor's story] (The Tardis materialises in a cobbled alley, in sepia with tickly music in the background all the way through.) DOCTOR: Okay, so. Not London 1893. Yorkshire 1893. Near enough. CLARA: You're making a habit of this, getting us lost. DOCTOR: Sorry. It's much better than it used to be. Ooo, I once spent a hell of a long time trying to get a gobby Australian to Heathrow Airport. (That would be Tegan Jovanka.) CLARA: What for? DOCTOR: Search me. Anyway (A woman screams.) DOCTOR: Brave heart, Clara. (By the canal.) EDMUND: It's another one. Don't you see? Another victim. Why won't any one of you listen? DOCTOR: We'll listen. (They walk and talk on the way to the Sweetville main gates.) EDMUND: Mrs Winifred Gillyflower. An astonishing woman. Prize winning chemist and mechanical engineer. So why DOCTOR: Why has she decided to open up a match factory in her old home town. EDMUND: And no one who ever goes to live there ever seems to come out. (They go to the morgue.) EDMUND: Same as the rest. All dead from causes unknown and their flesh glowing. AMOS: Like something manky in a coal cellar. They keep turning up in t'canal. The Crimson Horror. DOCTOR: Ooo, good name. Hey, that's good, isn't it? The Crimson Horror. I wonder what it is. Do you know the old Romany superstition, Clara? That the eye of a dead person retains an image of the last thing it sees. Nonsense, of course, unless the chemical composition of the body has been massively corrupted. (Clara uses the Doctor's magnifying glass to look at the face of Mrs Gillyflower in the dead woman's eye. The Doctor touches her skin and the red comes off onto his white glove. He uses someone's chemistry lab.) DOCTOR: Wow, this is nasty. An organic poison. A sort of venom. And you think it's connected to Sweetville? EDMUND: I do. DOCTOR: Well then, we need a plan. (They visit Mrs Gillyflower at home.) GILLYFLOWER: Doctor and Mrs Smith. Oh yes, you'll do very nicely. (The Doctor does his best Michael Palin as a Yorkshireman accent.( DOCTOR: Oh, grand. Smashing. Eh, the missis and I couldn't be more chuffed, could we, love? (Mrs Gillyflower leads them down the row of terraced homes.) GILLYFLOWER: Sweetville will provide you with everything you need. You won't have to worry about a thing ever again. CLARA: The name, Sweetville. GILLYFLOWER: Yes? CLARA: Why not name it after yourself. After al, it's your creation. DOCTOR: Gillyflowertown. Gillyflowerland. You could have roller coasters. GILLYFLOWER: It is named in tribute to my partner. DOCTOR: Your late partner? GILLYFLOWER: No, my silent partner. Mister Sweet likes to keep himself to himself. Shall we move on? DOCTOR: Who lives here? GILLYFLOWER: Oh, names don't matter here. All you need to know is we only recruit the brightest and the best. (She opens a front door to reveal a single living room. The man and woman are seated at a tea table, under a giant bell jar. A pump is providing air into in. Then her army of men and women come for the Doctor and Clara. They get knocked out and dunked in the red liquid, except the Doctor wakes up just as he is going under. Later, Clara is with the other women.) GILLYFLOWER: Like pretty maids all in a row. The process improves with every attempt. Mister Sweet is such a clever old thing. Oh, into the canal with the rejects, Ada. ADA: Yes. (But one of the rejects takes Ada's hand.) ADA: Ma. (Ada shackles the Doctor in the secret room.) ADA: Sometimes the preservation process goes wrong. Only Mister Sweet knows why, and only Mama is allowed to talk to Mister Sweet. But if you're very good, you can stay here. You'll be my secret. My special monster. Shush. (And there he stays until Edmund, another living reject of the process, bursts in. Which is why his image was in Edmund's eye.) [Factory] DOCTOR: Poor Edmund must have come looking for us and then fallen into a vat of the pure venom. Or was pushed. Didn't stand a chance. JENNY: What is that stuff, though? DOCTOR: Deadly poison. And Mrs Gillyflower's been dipping her pilgrims in a dilute form to protect them. Preserve them. Process didn't work on me. Maybe because I'm not human. I ended up on the reject pile. JENNY: Preserve them against what? DOCTOR: Well, according to her, the coming apocalypse.  (The Doctor makes the universal cu-koo gesture.) JENNY: When the End of Days is come and judgement rains down upon us all. DOCTOR: What? JENNY: Nothing. DOCTOR: No, no, no. What? JENNY: Something Mrs Gillyflower said. One of her sermons. Madame will come looking for me. We'd best get on. DOCTOR: Yes, Clara. Got to find Clara. JENNY: But, Doctor. Clara's dead. Isn't she? DOCTOR: It's complicated. [Corporation Way] (Strax is driving the carriage when the horse decided to stop.) STRAX: Horse, you have failed in your mission. We are lost, with no sign of Sweetville. Do you have any final words before your summary execution? The usual story. Fourth one this week, and I'm not even hungry. (Strax hefts his honking great gun.) URCHIN: Sweetville, sir? STRAX: Do you know it? URCHIN: Turn around when possible. Then, at the end of the road, turn right. STRAX: What? URCHIN: Bear left for a quarter of a mile and you will have reached your destination. (Strax invites the boy, whose name we have already guessed, to join him.) STRAX: Thank you. What is your name? URCHIN: Thomas, sir. Thomas Thomas. STRAX: I think you will do well, Thomas Thomas. [Sweetville] JENNY: Are we talking about the same person? About that Clara? Doctor! (He runs over to a house and looks inside.) DOCTOR: I couldn't see much from where I was, but I think she survived the process. She must be here somewhere. JENNY: But Clara died. The Ice Lady? Doctor. DOCTOR: Well, it's er, it's complicated. [Terraced house] (The Doctor bursts in to find Clara in a bell jar with another man. He breaks it with a chair.) [Secret room] (Ada is still sobbing over her missing monster.) GILLYFLOWER: What is the meaning of this? ADA: Oh, Mama, I have been foolish. I have formed a sentimental attachment. GILLYFLOWER: An attachment? To whom? ADA: A young man. Unlike the others, he survived rejection. He must be strong. Worthy of salvation. GILLYFLOWER: Wrecker. Berserker! You have loosed a reject onto the outside world. ADA: I have disappointed you. GILLYFLOWER: My plans must be accelerated. Nothing must interfere with the Great Work. ADA: But please say there is still room for me in your new Eden, Mama. Promise me that. GILLYFLOWER: I'll set my pilgrims onto him. ADA: No! GILLYFLOWER: Kindly do not claw and slobber at my crinoline. You know I cannot bear to look at sick people. ADA: Promise me you will not abandon me, Mama. Promise me that. GILLYFLOWER: Do you not yet understand? There can be no place for people such as you. That only perfection is good enough for myself and Mister Sweet. The bright day is done, child, and you are for the dark. [Red glow room] (They have put Clara into a metal cubicle.) JENNY: Can she be revived, like you were? DOCTOR: I hope so. (Pilgrims enter.) JENNY: Doctor. DOCTOR: Oh, great. Great. Attack of the supermodels. Time for a plan. JENNY: Nah, Doctor. This one's on me. (Jenny removes her bonnet and dress to reveal a tight all leather outfit. She deals with the three male pilgrims in three moves.) DOCTOR: That is a plan. (More pilgrims advance, with rounders bats.) DOCTOR: Okay, time for a new plan. Run! STRAX [OC]: Sontar ha! (Enter Strax, in his Sontaran armour, firing his honking big gun. The pilgrims flee. Vastra is close behind with a sword.) VASTRA: Let's go. JENNY: No, ma'am. We're not escaping. We've got to help the Doctor with Clara. DOCTOR: Long story. STRAX: What now, madam? We could lay mimetic cluster mines. VASTRA: Strax. STRAX: Or dig trenches and fill them with acid. VASTRA: Strax! You're overexcited. Have you been eating Miss Jenny's sherbet fancies again? STRAX: No. VASTRA: Go outside and wait for me until I call for you. STRAX: But madam, I VASTRA: Go! STRAX: I'm going to go play with my grenades. (Strax leaves.) DOCTOR: Okay, I think she's about done. (The Doctor opens the cubicle.) DOCTOR: I know who you think she is, but she isn't. She can't be. VASTRA: I was right, then. You and Clara have unfinished business. (Clara falls into the Doctor's arms.) DOCTOR: There, there. Hello, stranger. CLARA: Doctor. DOCTOR: Ah ha. CLARA: Hi. What's going on? DOCTOR: Oh, haven't you heard, love? There's trouble at mill. She's a lizard. [Factory corridor] VASTRA: My people once ruled this world, as well you know, but we did not rule it alone. Just as humanity fights a daily battle against nature, so did we. And our greatest plague, the most virulent enemy, was the repulsive red leech. DOCTOR: Ooo, the Repulsive Red Leech. Nah. On balance I think I prefer the Crimson Horror. What was it, exactly? VASTRA: A tiny parasite. It infected our drinking water. And once in our systems, it secreted a fatal poison. DOCTOR: If it's been hanging around, lurking in the shadows, maybe it's evolved. Or maybe it's had help. CLARA: Doctor, I've been thinking. The chimney DOCTOR: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Way past that now. Yucky red parasite from the time of the dinosaurs pitches up in Victorian Yorkshire. Didn't see that one coming. CLARA: Yeah, but the chimney DOCTOR: But what's the connection to Mrs Gillyflower? Judgement will rain down on us all. An empty mill. CLARA: A chimney that doesn't blow smoke. DOCTOR: Clever clogs. CLARA: Missed me? DOCTOR: Yeah, lots. [Boiler room] DOCTOR: She's going to poison the air. JENNY: How? (A pilgrim pulls a lever. They are looking at the base of a rocket.) CLARA: With that, I should think. DOCTOR: And there's the poison. All right, gang, I've got a plan. (They stand up and something metal clatters. They duck down as the pilgrims turn towards the sound.) DOCTOR: Shush. Okay. (Mrs Gillyflower pulls out the stops on a small pipe organ then presses a lever. The contraption turns to present a control board to her.) [Secret room] (Ada is still crying in the corner when the Doctor and Clara enter.) ADA: Who is that? Who is there? (The Doctor takes her hand and runs it over his face.) ADA: You. It's you. My monster. You've come back. But you're DOCTOR: Warm. And alive, thanks to you, Ada. You saved me from your mother's human rubbish tip. Now then, what's wrong? ADA: She does not want me, monster. I am not to be chosen. Perhaps it was my own sin, the blackness in my heart that my father saw in me. DOCTOR: Ada, no. That's nonsense. Stupid, backward nonsense, and you know it. You know it. CLARA: What is it? ADA: Who is that? CLARA: I'm, I'm a friend. A friend of his. ADA: Then you are fortunate indeed. It isn't good to be alone. DOCTOR: Now, Ada, I need you to tell me something. Who is Mister Sweet? Ada? ADA: Oh, dear monster DOCTOR: Please, tell me. ADA: I cannot. Even now, I cannot. I cannot betray Mama. DOCTOR: Well, come with us, then. There's something you need to know. [Drawing room] (This is where the control mechanism is.) GILLYFLOWER: Oh, you do seem to keep turning up like a bad penny, young man. DOCTOR: Force of habit. GILLYFLOWER: Can I offer you something? Tea? Seed cake? Oh, a glass of Amontillado? DOCTOR: No, thanks. We've had a skinful already, as you might say. GILLYFLOWER: Ha, ha. Very funny. DOCTOR: Yes. I'm the Doctor, you're nuts and I'm going to stop you. GILLYFLOWER: I'm afraid Mister Sweet and I cannot allow that. DOCTOR: Ah, yes. Would it be impolite to ask why you and Mister Sweet are petrifying your workforce with diluted prehistoric leech venom? CLARA: So when do we get to meet him, this silent partner of yours? Why's he so shy. GILLYFLOWER: Mister Sweet is always with us. DOCTOR: You seem to have a very close relationship, you and your pal. GILLYFLOWER: Oh yes, Doctor. Exceedingly close. Symbiotic, you might say. (She opens the top of her dress to reveal a large red leech attached to her skin. Meanwhile, the pilgrims continue to load bottles of venom into the rocket.) CLARA: Doctor, what is it? GILLYFLOWER: A survivor. He has grown fat on the filth humanity has pumped into the rivers. That's where I found him. DOCTOR: Very enterprising. GILLYFLOWER: His needs are simple, and in return he gives me his nectar. DOCTOR: Mrs Gillyflower, you have no idea what you are dealing with. In the wrong hands, that venom could wipe out all life on this planet. (Mrs Gillyflower holds out her hands.) GILLYFLOWER: Do you know what these are? Ha, ha! The wrong hands. (She goes to the control panel and pulls a lever. Red lights come on all the way up the factory chimney. Young Thomas Thomas points them out to Strax.) DOCTOR: Planning a little fireworks party, are we? GILLYFLOWER: You have forced me to advance the Great Work somewhat, Doctor, but my colossal scheme remains as it was. My rocket will explode high in the atmosphere, raining down Mister Sweet's beneficence onto all humanity. CLARA: And wiping us all out. You can't! GILLYFLOWER: My new Adam and Eves will sleep for but a few months before stepping out into a golden dawn. Is it not beautiful, Doctor? DOCTOR: Now, tell us about Ada, Mrs Gillyflower. GILLYFLOWER: What? DOCTOR: Your daughter. You do remember your daughter? Tell us about your daughter. GILLYFLOWER: How can you speak of such trivia when my hour is at hand? The child is of no consequence. DOCTOR: Is that why you experimented on her? CLARA: Experimented? DOCTOR: The signs are all there. The pattern of scarring. You used her as a guinea pig, didn't you. CLARA: God. GILLYFLOWER: Sometimes sacrifices must be made. DOCTOR: Sacrifices? GILLYFLOWER: It was necessary. I had to find out how much of the venom would produce an anti-toxin to immunise myself. Don't you see? It was necessary! ADA: Mama? Is it, is it true? GILLYFLOWER: Ada. ADA: It is. It's true. True. GILLYFLOWER: Ada, listen to me. ADA: You hag! You perfidious hag! You virago! You harpy! All these years I have helped you, served you, looked after you. Do they count for nothing, nothing at all? (Ada starts slashing at her mother with her white stick.) GILLYFLOWER: No, stop. Stop. (Clara runs forward.) DOCTOR: Hang on, I've got a sonic screwdriver. CLARA: Yeah? I've got a chair! (Clara smashes it into the control panel, with a satisfying shower of sparks.) GILLYFLOWER: No! DOCTOR: Yeah. That worked. I'm afraid your rocket isn't going anywhere, Mrs G. GILLYFLOWER: Please, come to me, Ada. Oh, my child. You have always been so very useful. (Mrs Gillyflower puts a small revolver to Ada's head.) DOCTOR: No, Mrs Gillyflower. ADA: Please, Mama. No more. No more. GILLYFLOWER: And now, if you'll please forgive us, we must be going. It is long past Ada's bedtime. (Mrs Gillyflower forces Ada out of the room and locks the door behind her.) DOCTOR: No, no, Clara. If we follow straight after her, she'll shoot Ada on the spot. CLARA: She wouldn't. DOCTOR: She would. Chairs are useful. (He pulls the chair out of the panel and uses it to break the window.) [Factory] GILLYFLOWER: Come along, Ada. Don't dawdle. ADA: Please, Mama, stop. GILLYFLOWER: Has the venom been loaded? PILGRIM: Yes, ma'am. GILLYFLOWER: Then heaven awaits you. [By the rocket] (Mrs Gillyflower drags Ada up the staircase encircling the rocket. The Doctor and Clara run through Sweetville and get to the bottom of the stairs.) GILLYFLOWER: Stop! DOCTOR: Just let her go, Mrs Gillyflower. Let Ada go. GILLYFLOWER: Secondary firing mechanism, Doctor. Mister Sweet and I are too smart for you, after all. DOCTOR: Just let your daughter go, Mrs Gillyflower. (Ada gets free and stumbles down to the corner between the Doctor and Mrs Gillyflower.) GILLYFLOWER: Ada! ADA: Shoot if you wish, Mama. It is of no matter, for you killed me a long time ago. (Mrs Gillyflower shoots at the Doctor, making him retreat.) GILLYFLOWER: (sings) I'll labour night and day to be a pilgrim. (The Doctor gets to Ada as Mrs Gillyflower pulls the lever and the rocket's engines ignite. He shields her with his body as it takes off, with so little flame as to not even singe any of them as it passes mere inches away.) GILLYFLOWER: Now, Mister Sweet, now the whole world will taste your lethal kiss! DOCTOR: I don't think so, Mrs Gillyflower. (The Doctor snaps his fingers. Jenny and Vastra appear, in pilgrim clothes, holding a bottle of venom.) GILLYFLOWER: Very well, then. If I can't take the world with me, you will have to do. Die, you freaks. Die! Die! (Strax points his honking big gun down the chimney.) STRAX: Put down your weapon, human female. (Mrs Gillyflower shoots at Strax. He returns fire, sending her tumbling over the railing to the floor two stories below.) DOCTOR: Ouch. (The leech detaches itself from her, and drags itself across the floor by its suckered forelimbs.) GILLYFLOWER: No. No. Mister Sweet, where are you going? You can't leave me now, Mister Sweet. CLARA: What's it doing? DOCTOR: It knows she's dying. She's no longer of any use to it. GILLYFLOWER: Mister Sweet. Ada? (Ada taps her way down the stairs.) GILLYFLOWER: Ada. Are you there? ADA: I'm here, Mama. GILLYFLOWER: Forgive me, my child. Forgive me. ADA: Never. GILLYFLOWER: That's my girl. (Mrs Winifred Gillyflower dies. The rocket explodes in the sky.) JENNY: What will you do with that thing? DOCTOR: Take it back to the Jurassic era, maybe. Out of harm's way. (Ada taps her way across the floor until her stick finds something squishy. She smashes the leech to smithereens.) DOCTOR: On the other hand [Alleyway] DOCTOR: Right. Right, London. We were heading for London, weren't we? CLARA: Was there any particular reason? DOCTOR: No. No. Just thought you might like it. CLARA: Yeah. Maybe had enough of Victorian values for a bit. DOCTOR: You're the boss. CLARA: Am I? DOCTOR: No. No. Get in. (Clara enters the Tardis. The Doctor walks back to Ada and the Paternoster Gang.) DOCTOR: Now, Ada, I'd love to stay and help clear up the mess, but ADA: I know, dear monster. You have things to do. DOCTOR: And what about you? ADA: Oh, there are many things a bright young lady can do to occupy her time. It's time I stepped out of the darkness and into the light. DOCTOR: Good luck, Ada. You know, I think you will be just (He kisses her cheek.) DOCTOR: Splendid. Well, thanks a million, you three, as ever. Have some Pontefract cakes on me. I love Pontefract cakes. See you around, eh, I shouldn't wonder. JENNY: But Doctor. That girl, Clara. You haven't explained. DOCTOR: No, I haven't. (He goes to the Tardis.) DOCTOR: Ah, look at the muck in here. Right! (He goes into the Tardis. Strax takes the bottle of venom from Vastra.) STRAX: Another one for the vault. THURSDAY: Ah, there you are. I called to see whether there had been any progress. (The Tardis dematerialises. He faints.) [Maitland home] (Clara enters.) CLARA: The boss. Yep, that's me. (Outside, the Tardis dematerialises.) CLARA: I am the boss. (Then she spots the laptop that the children have left open. On the screen are photographs of her and the Doctor from their recent adventures. 1983 Firebird - the Russian Submarine, the haunted house.) ANGIE: It's you, isn't it. It's from the seventies, but it's definitely you. CLARA: Of course it's not. ARTIE: And that's you too, from 1983. I found it at school. CLARA: No, that's just someone who looks like me. ANGIE: And that's someone that looks like your boyfriend. ARTIE: Is he an alien? ANGIE: Why would he be an alien? ARTIE: The chin. ANGIE: And the time travel? (Angie clicks on a third image, of Victorian Governess Clara.) CLARA: That's not right. ANGIE: You were in Victorian London. CLARA: No, I was in Victorian Yorkshire. ANGIE: How come you didn't tell us? ARTIE: Time travel, that's so cool. ANGIE: Can we have a go? CLARA: Can you have a what? ARTIE: We want a shot at the time machine. CLARA: No, no, no, no. Listen ANGIE: Okay. Or, we'll have to tell Dad that our nanny's a time traveller. [Spacey Zoomer] (The Tardis materialises in a exhibit which looks like the moon's surface, complete with US flag out straight as if there was no air or gravity, and half an Earth in the dark sky. The Doctor, Clara, then Angie and Artie Maitland put their heads out of the door.) DOCTOR: Well, here we are. Hedgewick's World. The biggest and best amusement park there will ever be, and we've got a golden ticket. Eh? Eh? Fun. CLARA: Fun? ANGIE: Your stupid box can't even get us to the right place. This is like a moon base or something. DOCTOR: It's not the moon. ARTIE: Actually, I think it does look like the moon, only dirtier. DOCTOR: Hey. Guys. It's not the moon, okay? It's a Spacey Zoomer ride, or it was. (A door opens in one of the large rocks, and a man wearing a tall hat looks out.) WEBLEY: Psst. Excuse I. I don't suppose you happen to be my lift off planet? Dave's Discount Interstellar Removals? CLARA: Afraid not. WEBLEY: They were meant to be here six months ago. Well, that's Dave for you, see? Unreliable. (A woman's voice cuts through the air.) CAPTAIN [OC]: Stay where you are! WEBLEY: Oops. (Webley ducks back inside as the military run in.) CAPTAIN: Throw down your weapons and identify yourselves. DOCTOR: No. No weapons. Golden ticket. Spacey Zoomer. Free ice cream? CAPTAIN: Who are you? This planet is closed, by Imperial order. DOCTOR: How's this? (He holds up his psychic paper.) CAPTAIN: Oh. Welcome, Proconsul. I wish they'd told us you were coming. Any news of the Emperor? DOCTOR: Oh, the Emperor. No, no. None that you'd er CAPTAIN: We pray for his return. If there is anything you need, my platoon is at your service. DOCTOR: Right. Righty-o. Well, carry on, Captain. CAPTAIN: Platoon, let's move out! On the double. Two, three, four. Two, three, four. Two, three, four. (The military run off, and Webley pokes his head out again.) WEBLEY: Have they gone? DOCTOR: Yes. WEBLEY: Uniforms give me the heebie-jeebies. Come on. They can't stop me being here, but they don't like it. (He leads them away from the Zoomer for a view of the whole amusement park.) DOCTOR: Ha, ha! You see? I told you it was amazing. Well, it used to be. (Wrecked mega-scenic rollercoaster and other rides. Grass is growing in the cracks in the concrete.) WEBLEY: It closed down. Wish I'd known that before I landed here. But let me show you my collection. Come along. Follow me. This way. This way in, come on. [Webley's room] (Down some steps into a comfortably furnished room with lots of waxworks on display, all lit by chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.) WEBLEY: Welcome to my show. Webley's World of Wonders. Miracles, marvels and more await you. I am Impresario Webley. You see before you waxwork representations of the famous and the infamous. Anybody here play chess? (The Doctor puts his hand up.) WEBLEY: Perhaps you, young man? ARTIE: Actually, I'm in my school chess club. WEBLEY: Ah. Follow me. [Chess room] WEBLEY: Now, let demonstrate to you all the wonder of the age, the miracle of modernity. (Sitting by the chess board is something covered in a satin cloth.) WEBLEY: We defeated them all a thousand years ago, but now he's back, to destroy you. Behold, the enemy! (Webley whips the cloth off a slightly tarnished silver coloured robot, which raises its head.) DOCTOR: Cyberman! Get down! WEBLEY: No need to panic, my young friends. We all know there are no more living Cybermen. What you are seeing is a miracle. The six hundred and ninety ninth wonder of the universe, as displayed before the Imperial court, and only here to destroy you at chess. (The Doctor is scanning and investigating.) WEBLEY: Careful now. An empty shell, and yet it moves. How? ANGIE: Magic. WEBLEY: That might well be, young lady, but a single penny wins you five Imperial shillings (Two tiny slim metallic bugs with a flashing blue eye are watching from a waxwork Blowfish head. Something is using them to watch the scene.) WEBLEY: If you can beat this empty shell at chess. ARTIE: I haven't got a penny, but I've got a sandwich. WEBLEY: All right, take a seat. It is free of all devices, and yet it has never been beaten. Would you like to make the first move, young man? (Artie moves his King's Bishop's pawn one space. The Cyberman counters by moving its King's pawn two spaces.) DOCTOR: Oh no, Artie. No, don't do that, it (Artie advances his King's Knight's pawn two spaces. Up comes the Black Queen to end the game.) DOCTOR: That's a fool's mate. WEBLEY: If you can tell me how it works, I'll give you a silver penny. ANGIE: I think you do it with mirrors? DOCTOR: Hmm. Mirrors. Clever girl. Well, let's see, hey? Low tech. It's a puppet. Monofilament strings, which means the brains are in (The Doctor opens a door in the Cyberman's chair to reveal a little man with a control box.) PORRIDGE: Hello. DOCTOR: Hello. PORRIDGE: I'm the brains. DOCTOR: Hello. PORRIDGE: Give us a hand. (The Doctor helps Porridge out of the small space.) PORRIDGE: They call me Porridge. Oh, it's good to be out of that box. WEBLEY: For you, Miss, an Imperial penny. (Which Webley apparently produces from Angie's ear. The Doctor notices a small swarm of tiny metal bugs slithering across the floor.) [Webley's room] WEBLEY: I have not one but three Cybermen in my collection. (The exhibit is labelled The Great Enemy. The Doctor checks that they are inert. Angie looks at another waxwork, a tall man with a familiar face.) ANGIE: Is that the King? PORRIDGE: Emperor. Ludens Nimrod Kendrick, etc, etc, the forty first. Defender of Humanity, Imperator of known space. CLARA: He looks a bit full of himself. PORRIDGE: Don't say things like that about the Imperial family. You can end up on the run for the rest of your life. ARTIE: They don't sound very nice. PORRIDGE: Go on. If the kids want to ride the Spacey Zoomer, then I can operate the gravity console. (Angie compares the image on the coin to the waxwork.) ARTIE: Angie! [Spacey Zoomer] (Artie and Angie enjoy flying around in microgravity. Clara takes photographs with her phone.) ARTIE: Wow! CLARA: Smile! Say, Spacey Zoomer. ARTIE: Look at us, Doctor. We're flying! DOCTOR: Having a good time? (Porridge turns off the anti-gravity.) ARTIE: I think that was the most fun I've had in my whole life. ANGIE: It was (pause) okay. ARTIE: Clara, I think outer space is actually very interesting. CLARA: Right. Wonderful day out, Doctor, but time to get the kids home. (The Doctor is scanning with the sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Yeah. Er, no. Not actually ready to leave. CLARA: Why not? DOCTOR: I don't know. Reasons. CLARA: What reasons? DOCTOR: Insects. Funny insects. I should a them to my funny insect collection. CLARA: You collect funny insects? DOCTOR: Yeah, I'm starting to, right now. [Webley's room] (Angie and Artie are lying on the sofas, ready to sleep.) ANGIE: How long do we have to stay here? DOCTOR: Not long. Have a nap. I'll wake you when we're ready to leave. PORRIDGE: Comfy? CLARA: Sleep well. PORRIDGE: Good night. (The Doctor turns the lights out as he leaves. Clara and Porridge follow.) DOCTOR: Don't wander off. Now, I'm not just saying don't wander off, I mean it. Otherwise you'll wander off and the next thing you know, somebody's going to have to start rescuing somebody. ANGIE: From what? DOCTOR: Nothing. Nobody needs rescuing from anything. Don't wander off. Sweet dreams. [Chess room] (Webley takes a drink from a hip flask, then enjoys the sandwich he won from Artie.) WEBLEY: Total takings for the day, one sandwich. Better than no sandwich, of course. Not as good as two sandwiches, or even a chicken. (The Cyberman grabs his arms.) WEBLEY: That's a bit odd. That's not funny. Give me my hands back. (Lots of the micro-Cybermats rush out of the Cyberman's eye sockets and across to Webley.) CYBERMAN: Upgrade in progress. (Webley screams.) [Webley's room] (Angie and Artie are being monitored.) ANGIE: I hate the future. It's stupid. There's not even phone service. I'm out of here. ARTIE: The Doctor said not to wander off. ANGIE: He said that, and then he wandered off. (The mini-Cybermats find Angie's discarded mobile phone and swarm all over it.) ARTIE: I don't think Clara would like that. ANGIE: She's not our mum. ARTIE: Don't leave me here. (The monitor display says Disassembly required, then Upgrade will commence.) [Hedgewick's World] (Clara and Porridge walk together.) CLARA: Was this really the biggest amusement park in the universe? PORRIDGE: Yeah. Hedgewick bought the planet cheap. It'd been trashed in the Cyberwars. CLARA: Who were we fighting? PORRIDGE: Cybermen. Technologically upgraded warriors. We couldn't win. Sometimes we fought to a draw, but then they'd upgrade themselves, fix their weaknesses and destroy us. It's hard to fight an enemy that uses your armies as spare parts. CLARA: You beat them, though. Beat them or you wouldn't be here. How? PORRIDGE: Look up there. That corner of sky? What do you see? CLARA: Nothing. It's just black. No stars, no nothing. PORRIDGE: It use to be the Tiberion Spiral Galaxy. A million star systems, a hundred million worlds, a billion trillion people. It's not there any more. No more Tiberion Galaxy. No more Cybermen. It was effective. CLARA: It's horrible. PORRIDGE: Yeah. I feel like a monster sometimes. CLARA: Why? PORRIDGE: Because instead of mourning a billion trillion dead people, I just feel sorry for the poor blighter who had to press the button and blow it all up. DOCTOR: Clara, did you tell Angie she could go to the barracks? CLARA: You know I didn't. She hasn't. DOCTOR: She's just gone in there. CLARA: Come on. [Barracks] BEAUTY: I can't fix this. CAPTAIN: It can't be broken. It's a solid state subether ansible class communicator. Just run the diagnostics. BEAUTY: There's nothing left to diagnose. It's not broken, it's empty. All the components have gone. CAPTAIN: Well, you must have replacement parts. BEAUTY: Not enough to build a new one. BRAINS: Captain, the weather controller is malfunctioning again. There's storms, heat waves, snow. ANGIE: Hello, I'm bored. CAPTAIN: Where's your big sister? ANGIE: Clara? She's not my sister. She's stupid. She's talking to Porridge. CAPTAIN: She talks to her porridge? ANGIE: Porridge. That little bloke? CAPTAIN: We need to have a chat. [Webley's collection] (Artie can't sleep with all the waxworks staring at him.) ARTIE: I'm not scared, if you're wondering. I just think I ought to turn the lights back on. (Artie makes his nervous way to the light switch and turns it on. Then a Cyberman grabs him from behind.) [Barracks] CAPTAIN: So, tell me about the little bloke. ANGIE: Well, you must have seen him. CLARA: Angie! Angie! (Clara and the Doctor enter.) ANGIE: She always has to turn up and spoil everything. I wasn't doing anything. Why can't you just leave me alone? (A big crash, and enter a Cyberman.) CAPTAIN: Cyberman! CLARA: Angie! CAPTAIN: Attack formation. (The Cyberman moves faster than a blur while the platoon try to sort themselves out. A fat man - Ha-Ha -  runs forward whilst another man with a pony-tail grabs a chair. The fat man gets swatted aside.) CAPTAIN: No! Attack formation, quickly. (They start shooting at the Cyberman.) CYBERMAN: Upgrade in progress. CLARA: Angie! (The Cyberman moves through the group as if they are standing still and puts Angie over his shoulder, carrying her off.) CLARA: Angie! DOCTOR: Clara. Clara! (He drags Clara back.) CAPTAIN: That was a Cyberman. But they're extinct. DOCTOR: Listen to me. I will get her back. Captain, a word please. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I take it your platoon doesn't do much fighting. CAPTAIN: What do you expect? CLARA: What? CAPTAIN: We're a punishment platoon. It's why they sent us out here, so we can't get into trouble. DOCTOR: Right, right, well, okay. As Imperial Consul, I'm putting Clara in charge. (The Doctor pins the Captain's insignia on Clara's jacket.) DOCTOR: Clara, stay alive until I get back, and don't let anyone blow up this planet. CLARA: Is that something they're likely to do? DOCTOR: Get to somewhere defensible. CLARA: Where are you going? DOCTOR: I'm getting Angie, finding Artie and looking for funny insects. Stay alive. And you lot, no blowing up this planet! (The Doctor leaves.) [Chess room] ANGIE: Put me down! I hate you! (The Cyberman puts her down. She sees Artie with a single blue light flashing at the side of his head, and Webley, who is semi-Borgified.) ANGIE: Artie? Artie, what's happening? ARTIE: Please stand by. You will be upgraded. (Angie screams.) [Barracks] CAPTAIN: Cyberiad class weaponry. I've taken it out of storage. CLARA: Good. We need to find somewhere defensible. Where? (The Captain shows her a large advertising overview of Hedgewick's World.) CAPTAIN: The beach, the Giant's Cauldron, Natty Longshoe's Comical Castle. CLARA: Real castle? Drawbridge? Moat? CAPTAIN: Yes, but comical. CLARA: We'll go there. CAPTAIN: Ma'am, my platoon can deal with one Cyberman, and there are protocols if we cannot immediately find and destroy it. CLARA: Blowing up the planet protocols? CAPTAIN: Respectfully, ma'am. CLARA: Somewhere defensible. No blowing up the planet. PORRIDGE: She's your commanding officer now, isn't she, Captain? CAPTAIN: Yes. Sir. (Clara leaves.) PORRIDGE: You really saw a Cyberman? CAPTAIN: We really did. PORRIDGE: Have you reported it to the Imperium? CAPTAIN: No communicators. PORRIDGE: So you're going to do what she says. Right, let's all spend the night at Natty Longshoe's Comical Castle. [Webley's room] DOCTOR: Artie? (He spots a mini-Cybermat and speaks to it.) DOCTOR: Firstly, if anybody's watching this, those children are under my protection. I'm coming to get them. And secondly, little metal machine, you are beautiful. (He sonicks it into dormancy and picks it up.) DOCTOR: Not even a Cybermat any more, eh? Cybermites. [Chess room] DOCTOR: Now, there's a local transmat link open to your home. If I can just find the frequency (Zap.) [Cyberlab] DOCTOR: Hey, that really shouldn't have worked. ARTIE: Doctor, help us. DOCTOR: Angie? Artie? (Both children are unresponsive.) DOCTOR: Webley. WEBLEY: We needed children, but the children had stopped coming. You brought us children. Hail to you, the Doctor, saviour of the Cybermen! [Outside the Castle] CLARA: What would the Empire do if they were alerted? CAPTAIN: I told you, tell me to blow up the planet. CLARA: After they got us off. PORRIDGE: Captain, you want to take that one? CAPTAIN: No, ma'am. Just blow the sucker up. CLARA: Drawbridge, moat, brilliant. BRAINS: With respect, ma'am, we ought to be hunting the creature. CLARA: The only reason I'm still alive is that I do what the Doctor says. Can you guarantee me you'd bring back my children alive and unharmed? (Brains shakes his head.) CLARA: I trust the Doctor. CAPTAIN: You think he knows what he's doing? CLARA: I'm not sure I'd go that far. [Cyberlab] WEBLEY: As the battle raged between humanity and the Cyberiad, the Cyberplanners built a Valkyrie, to save critically damaged units and bring them here, and one by one, repair them. DOCTOR: The people who vanished from the amusement park, they were spare parts for repairs. WEBLEY: We've upgraded ourselves. The next model will be undefeatable. DOCTOR: Nothing's undefeatable. WEBLEY: We needed children to build a new Cyberplanner. A child's brain, with its infinite potential, is perfect for our needs. But we no longer need the children. The Cybermites have been scanning your brain, Doctor. It's quite remarkable. DOCTOR: Also completely useless to you. Cybermen use human parts. I'm not human. You can't convert non-humans. WEBLEY: Well, that was true a long time ago. But we've upgraded ourselves. Current Cyberunits use almost any living components. (Webley throws some Cybermites onto the Doctor. They get inside and he screams. The Doctor acquires some silver components on left side of his face. He is now a split personality. Cyberplanner Doctor will be designated C-Doctor. Resistance is futile.) C-DOCTOR: Incorporated. Yes. Ah. Unfamiliar pulmonary set-up. Nervous system hyperconductive. Remarkable brain processing speed. Ho, ho. Amazing. DOCTOR: Get out of my head! [Cyberiad] (The Doctor confronts the Cyberplanner in cyberspace.) DOCTOR: Stop rummaging in my mind. C-DOCTOR: Just you try and stop me. Ooo, who's Clara. Why are you thinking about her so much? DOCTOR: Enough. C-DOCTOR: Fascinating. A complete mental block. Highly effective. [Cyberlab] C-DOCTOR: Relax, relax. If you just relax, you will find this a perfectly pleasant experience. You are being upgraded and incorporated into the Cyberiad as a Cyberplanner. DOCTOR: Get out of my head! [Cyberiad] DOCTOR: What is this place, a network? A hive? You're getting signals from every Cyberman everywhere. How many of you are there? [Cyberlab] C-DOCTOR: Oh, this is brilliant. I'm so clever already, and now I'm a million times more clever. And what a brain. Not a human brain, not even slightly human. I mean, I'm going to have to completely rework the neural interface, but this is going to be the most efficient Cyberplanner. Not a great name, that, is it? I could call myself Mister Clever. So much raw data. Time Lords. There's information on the Time Lords in here. Oh, this is just dreamy. [Cyberiad] DOCTOR: Right, I'm allowing you access to memories on Time Lord regeneration. (The ten known faces of the Doctor flash through behind them.) C-DOCTOR: Fantastic! DOCTOR: I could regenerate right now. A big blast of regeneration energy, burn out any little Cyberwidgets in my brain, along with everything you're connected to. Don't want to. You use this me up, who knows what we'll get next? But I can. [Cyberlab] C-DOCTOR: Stalemate, then. One of us needs to control this head. We're too well-balanced. What did you say? No, no, no, no, no. I heard you. Rhetorical device to keep me thinking about it a bit more. Stalemate? [Cyberiad] C-DOCTOR: We each control forty nine point eight eight one percent of this brain. Point two three eight of the brain is still in the balance. Whoever gets this gets the whole thing. DOCTOR: Do you play chess? C-DOCTOR: The rules of chess are in my memory banks. You're proposing we play chess to end the stalemate? DOCTOR: Winner takes all. Nobody can access that portion of the brain without winning the game. (They shake on it.) [Cyberlab] C-DOCTOR: You can't win. DOCTOR: Try me. C-DOCTOR: You understand, when I do win, the Cyberiad gets your brains and memories. All of it. DOCTOR: When I win, you get out of my head, you let the children go, and nobody dies. You got that? Nobody dies! [Power station] BRAINS [on radio]: Castle's clear. Missy, confirm status. MISSY: All clear in the power station. (Thud!) MISSY: It's Missy. Something's out there. BRAINS [on radio]: What do you mean? Is it the Cyberman? MISSY: I don't know. I couldn't see it. It was only for a moment. Can I hide? Is it okay if I hide? (The Cyberman stomps in.) MISSY: Don't move! I'm in the army! (It advances, she runs and hides amongst some scaffolding poles. It walks past and she breathes out. It stops, turns, and drops a hand. Cyber-Thing scuttles across the ground and leaps onto her face.) [Castle] BRAINS: Er, ma'am. Missy said she saw something, and then she went quiet. CLARA: It's on its way, then. Weapons. Show me. Only one gun? CAPTAIN: Cybermen have been extinct for a thousand years. Even one Anti-Cyber gun is a miracle. These things are hand-pulsers. Touch the back of a Cyberman's head, the electomagnetic pulse deactivates it. CLARA: What's this for? Just a mad guess here, it blows up the planet? CAPTAIN: Implodes it. There's also a trigger unit. CLARA: I'll have that, then. Is there any other way to activate the bomb? CAPTAIN: It's set to respond to my voice. I have the verbal code. CLARA: You will not activate it without a direct order from me. CAPTAIN: I will follow my orders. CLARA: Your orders come from me, don't they? BRAINS: You'll need to sign for that trigger unit, ma'am. CLARA: Thanks. (Porridge picks up a hand-pulser.) PORRIDGE: Mind if I take one of these? Might be handy. CAPTAIN: Help yourself. I'll teach you how to use it. Upstairs. Now! [Cyberlab] (The chess board is in place.) C-DOCTOR: There. That was easy. The game has just started. Doctor, why is there no record of you anywhere in the databanks of the Cyberiad? Oh, you're good. Oh, you've been eliminating yourself from history. You know you could be reconstructed by the hole you've left. DOCTOR: Good point. I'll do something about that. [Cyberiad] C-DOCTOR: The rules of chess allow only a finite number of moves, and I can use other Cyberunits as remote processors. You cannot possibly win. DOCTOR: I can. I know things you don't. For example, did you know very early versions of the Cyber operating system could be seriously scrambled by exposure to things, like gold, or cleaning fluid? And what's interesting is, you're still running some of that code. C-DOCTOR: Really. That's your secret weapon? Cleaning fluid? [Cyberlab] DOCTOR: Nope, gold. (And slaps the golden ticket onto his implants.) DOCTOR: Oh ho, ho! Like a charm. Right, you, Cyber Webley, and you kid things. I'll bring the chessboard. Let's get out of here. [Castle battlements] PORRIDGE: You knew it was me. CAPTAIN: I was in the Imperial Guard on Caspertine. Mostly just parades, but I had the honour to guard the old Emperor during the ice picnic. PORRIDGE: When the snow bears came and danced for us. That was a day. (They are being watched by a Cybermite.) CAPTAIN: We're a punishment platoon. We can't beat a Cyberman. The Imperium has to know what's happening. PORRIDGE: Like you said, the communicators are out. The only way you can report this now is to activate the bomb. CAPTAIN: Yes. PORRIDGE: And I forbid you to do that. CLARA: I don't get it. Why would you blow up a whole planet and everybody on it just to get rid of one Cyberman? PORRIDGE: We tried other ways, but they only work sometimes, so now we take drastic action. And it works. CAPTAIN: If you find a Cyberman and you can't destroy it immediately, you implode the planet. I was sent here because I didn't follow orders. I can make up for that. CLARA: Put it down. I forbid you. PORRIDGE: Yeah. What she said. CAPTAIN: You ran away. I will do what I was brought up to do. Live for the Empire, fight for the Empire, die for the Empire. This is Captain Alice Ferrin, Imperial ID one nine delta one three B. Activate (The Captain is shot by a Cyberman on the other side of the moat.) PORRIDGE: Cyberman! Get down! CLARA: The Doctor said to get somewhere easily defensible, but if we just stay in the castle it'll pick us off one by one. We have to take it out. HA-HA: Is that an order, ma'am? CLARA: Yes. HA-HA: Good. CLARA: You know what to do. BRAINS: Pulse to the back of the head. Fry the brain circuit interface. CLARA: It's going to be hard to get in close enough. [Hedgewick's World] (Somewhere in the amusement park, one of the women soldiers spots the Cyberman. She runs forward to touch the back of its head, but its body grabs her and kills her. Then it puts its head back on. Elsewhere, two more soldiers die in front of Ha-Ha.) HA-HA: I've heard about the Cybermen since I was in my cradle. I'm not afraid of you. CLARA: Now! (The Cyberman moves forward, Fats jinks to the side and Clara atomises it with a long blast from the Anti-Cyber gun, as she stands behind sandbags.) HA-HA: Hold it right there. CLARA: What's happening to them? (The two dead soldiers have been upgraded.) CLARA: One more step and I fire. HA-HA: Don't fire that. A pulse will deactivate them. (Two other soldiers do that.) HA-HA: And anyway, it's a waste of charge. We may need it again. CLARA: You don't think that was the only one, then? [Outside the Castle] (They meet up with the Doctor, Angie and Artie, and Webley.) DOCTOR: Argh! Don't shoot, don't shoot, I'm nice. Please, don't shoot. Hey, Clara, you haven't let them blow up the planet. Good job. CLARA: Did you get the kids? Are they all right? What's going on? DOCTOR: Er, a bit of a good news, bad news, good news again thing going on. So, good news, I've kidnapped the Cyberplanner and right now I'm sort of in control of this Cyberman. CLARA: Bad news? DOCTOR: Bad news, the Cyberplanner's in my head. And, different bad news, the kids are, well, it's complicated. CLARA: Complicated how? DOCTOR: Complicated as in walking coma. (He hides behind the chess board he is holding.) CLARA: Please tell me you can wake them up. DOCTOR: Hope so. CLARA: Other good news? DOCTOR: Well, in other good news, there are a few more repaired and reactivated Cybermen on the way, and the Cyberplanner's installing a patch for the gold thing. No, wait, that isn't good news, is it. Er, so, good news, I have a very good chance of winning my chess match. CLARA: What? DOCTOR: I'll explain later. In a bit of a hurry. Get me to a table, and somebody tie me up! Need hands free for chess. And immobilise me, quickly. [Throne room] (Clara ties the Doctor to a chair with thick rope.) DOCTOR: Right, that's good. I won't be able to move, but hands free. Good. CLARA: You're playing chess with yourself? DOCTOR: And winning. (Then he tears off the gold ticket from the implants, and acquires a northern accent - eighth Doctor style.) C-DOCTOR: Actually, he has no better than a twenty five percent chance of winning at this stage in the game. Some very dodgy moves at the beginning. Hello, flesh girl. Fantastic. I'm the Cyberplanner. CLARA: Doctor?  C-DOCTOR: Afraid not. I'm working the mouth now. Allons-y. Oh, you should see the state of these neurons. He's had some cowboys in here. Ten complete re-jigs. CLARA: You aren't the Doctor. C-DOCTOR: No, but I know who you are. You're the impossible girl. Oh, he's very interested in you. CLARA: Why am I impossible? C-DOCTOR: Hasn't he told you? The sly devil. Oh, dear me. Listen, soon we'll wake. We'll strip you down for spare parts, then build a spaceship and move on. CLARA: More Cybermen. C-DOCTOR: They're waking from their tomb right now. You can either die or live on as one of us. (Meanwhile, his right hand is writing Hit Me on a notepad.) CLARA: The Doctor will stop you. C-DOCTOR: He can't even access the lips. (Clara hits him. Hard.) DOCTOR: Argh! Ow! Oh, that hurt. No, stop. Enough, Bit of pain, neural surge. Just what I needed. Thank you. CLARA: Why am I the impossible girl? DOCTOR: It's just a thing in my head. I'll explain later. CLARA: Chess game. Stakes? DOCTOR: If he wins, I give up my mind and he gets access to all my memories, along with knowledge of time travel. But, if I win, he'll break his promises to get out of my head and then kill us all anyway. CLARA: That's not reassuring. DOCTOR: No. CLARA: Please tell me you can fix whatever happened to the children. DOCTOR: Children. Yeah. They're fine. I mean, right now their brains are just in stand by mode. CLARA: That is not fine! C-DOCTOR: Listen, right now they have a much better chance of getting out of this situation alive than you do. CLARA: Which one of you said that? C-DOCTOR: Me. Cyberplanner. Mister Clever. Now, if you don't mind, I have a chess game to finish, and you have to die, pointlessly and very far from home. Toodle-oo. [Castle drawbridge] CLARA: Apparently there are more Cybermen on the way. BRAINS: There's at least a dozen more shots left in the gun before it needs to recharge. CLARA: We might have more than a dozen Cybermen to worry about. What's that cable? PORRIDGE: Power line for the park. CLARA: What wouldd happen if we unhooked the end, dropped it into the moat and turned it on? HA-HA: Fry anything alive that entered the water. CLARA: Can Cybermen fly? BRAINS: No, ma'am. CLARA: First good news of the day. Do it. (So they electrify the moat and raise the drawbridge.) [Cyberiad] (The CyberDoctor gets jolted into cyberspace.) DOCTOR: Stop that. I felt that. C-DOCTOR: Of course you did. It's time to get up. Wakey, wakey, boys and girls. Wakey, wakey. (Somewhere, a army of Cybermen activates and marches forward from their multilevel cryogenic 'tombs'.) [Castle courtyard] (Porridge ladles something into a cup.) PORRIDGE: There, get that in you. Warm you up. CLARA: Oh, thank you, Porridge. DOCTOR [OC]: Oi, Clara! CLARA: I'll see what he wants. Call me if there's any change. PORRIDGE: Right. [Throne room] DOCTOR: Hey! Clara, there you are. Now, quick rundown. What's our weapons strength? CLARA: One big gun, five of those hand-pulser units and a shiny black bomb that implodes the planet. DOCTOR: Yeah. Yeah, that one. Now, tell me, does it happen possibly to have a remote triggery thing? (Clara takes it from her jacket pocket.) DOCTOR: Brilliant. Pass it here. CLARA: No. DOCTOR: Why not? CLARA: In case you're not you right now. Or even if you are, just in case. DOCTOR: Oh, don't worry. The Cyberplanner's hibernating between moves right now. Shush. CLARA: Prove you're you. Tell me something only the Doctor knows. DOCTOR: Clara, I suppose I'm the only one who knows how I feel about you right now. How funny you are. So funny. And pretty. And the truth is, I'm starting to like you in a way that is more than just (She hits him.) DOCTOR: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Yes! It's me. That really hurt. How did you know that was him? CLARA: Because even if that was true, which it is obviously not, I know you well enough to know that you would rather die than say it. Finish your stupid game. (CyberDoctor grabs Clara's arm.) CLARA: Doctor, let go. DOCTOR: I can't. He's got control of the left arm. Argh, argh, no! No! (The CyberDoctor gets the remote trigger and destroys it.) CLARA: Doctor? DOCTOR: He got what he wanted. He destroyed the trigger. My move. CLARA: What do you mean, he got what he wanted? C-DOCTOR: He means, good news, boys and girls. They're here! [Castle] (Rows of Cybermen stretching from the Tomb entrance to the moat.) CLARA: One gun, five hand-pulsers and a planet smashing bomb that doesn't work any more. BRAINS: Why not? CLARA: Broken trigger unit. BRAINS: But you signed for that. [Throne room] C-DOCTOR: I've learned so much from you, Doctor. It's been an education. But now, it's time for the endgame. [Castle] (The first Cyberman steps into the moat and gets electrocuted.) CLARA: Brilliant. (Then it recovers.) CYBERMAN: Upgrade in progress. CLARA: Damn. Who's our best shot? HA-HA: Probably it's me. CLARA: Shoot any of them who make it across. The rest of you, take defensive positions. Porridge? PORRIDGE: Yes? CLARA: Keep yourself safe. (The first Cyberman comes through the castle gate, and gets atomised. Then more come through. Porridge heads for the planet bomb.) PORRIDGE: Alice Ferrin, you should have destroyed this planet when you had the chance. [Throne room] C-DOCTOR: They're nearly here. Now, you can take my bishop and keep limping on for a little longer, or you can sacrifice your queen and get the children back. But it's mate in five moves, and I get your mind. (Another Cyberman gets killed.) DOCTOR: Takes my queen, and give me back the children. C-DOCTOR: Emotions. Can't you see what a foolish move that was? You've lost the game. DOCTOR: Kids back now. (Angie and Artie crumple.) C-DOCTOR: Emotions, Doctor, all for two human children you barely know. And it was a pointless sacrifice anyway. So, Doctor, do you think the children's death will affect your relationship with Miss Clara? (Porridge runs in with the bomb. Clara and the platoon are retreating under fire.) WEBLEY: Welcome to Webley's World of Wonders, children. Now presenting delights, delicacies, and death. ANGIE: Doctor! (Porridge grabs at Webley's leg with the hand-pulser but gets thrown off, landing under the chess table. Sparks fly from Webley's cybernetic bits.) DOCTOR: Angie, are you okay? Just look after Artie, okay? (Dark is about to touch the back of a Cyberman's head, when it swivels around and looks at her. Fat shoots another Cyberman.) DOCTOR: Your move. But before you take it, just so you know, sacrificing my queen was the best possible move I could have made. The Time Lords invented chess. It's our game. And if you don't avoid my trap, it gives me mate in three moves. C-DOCTOR: How? [Castle] HA-HA: I've got no charge left. (Clara picks up a heavy mace.) [Throne room] C-DOCTOR: How? (The Cyberman disarms Clara.) DOCTOR: Oh, come on. Call yourself a chess playing robot? C-DOCTOR: How! DOCTOR: You figure it out. Or don't you have the processing power, hmm? [Castle] CYBERMAN: Please stand by. You will be upgraded. Welcome to the Cyberiad. You will be upgraded. Welcome to the Cyberiad. You will be upgraded. (Clara, Brains and Ha-Ha are pinned up against a wall. Then the Cybermen slow down and stop.) [Throne room] DOCTOR: What are you doing? C-DOCTOR: Doctor. Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor. I'm pulling in extra processing power. Three million Cyberbrains are working on one tiny chess problem. How long do you think it's going to take us to solve it? DOCTOR: That's cheating. C-DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no. Just pulling in the local resources. (Clara, Brains and Ha-Ha get away.) C-DOCTOR: There's no way you can get to mate in three moves. DOCTOR: Three moves. Want to know what they are? C-DOCTOR: You're lying. (The Doctor picks up Porridge's hand pulser.) DOCTOR: Move one, turn on sonic screwdriver. Move two, activate pulser. Move three, amplify pulser. See you. (After a brief struggle with his other arm, the Doctor gets the pulser to the cybernetic implants on his face.) C-DOCTOR: That's cheating! (Clara, Brains and Ha-Ha run in. The Doctor sits up with no implants.) DOCTOR: Just taking advantage of the local resources. Ah, hello. Can someone untie me, please? CLARA: Do you think I'm pretty? DOCTOR: No. You're too short and bossy, and your nose is all funny. CLARA: Good enough. What happened to the Cyberplanner? (She unties him.) DOCTOR: Out of my head and redistributed across three million Cybermen right now, and about to wake them all up, kill us and start constructing a spaceship. We need to destroy this planet before they can get off it. (He goes to the bomb.) DOCTOR: Okay, it has a fallback voice activation. HA-HA: The Captain, but she's dead. ANGIE: I think you should ask Porridge. CLARA: Why? ANGIE: Well, he is the Emperor. I bet he knows the activation codes. Oh, come on. It's obvious. He looks exactly like he does on the coin, and on the waxwork, except they made him a bit taller, but look, am I the only one paying attention to anything around here? CLARA: You are full of surprises. Porridge? PORRIDGE: She's right. CLARA: So you can save us? PORRIDGE: We all die in the end. Does it matter how? HA-AH: What do we do? PORRIDGE: I don't want to be Emperor. If I activate that bomb, it's all over. DOCTOR: And if you don't, three million Cybermen will spread across the galaxy. Isn't that worth dying for? PORRIDGE: Doctor DOCTOR: Three million Cybermen! (Who have now reactivated.) PORRIDGE: The bomb, the throne, it's all connected. I just have to say this is Emperor Ludens Nimrod Kendrick, called Longstaff the forty first, the Defender of Humanity, Imperator of known space. Activate the Desolator. And it's done. (The bomb is armed.) PORRIDGE: It'll blow in about eighty seconds. Easily long enough for the Imperial Flagship to locate me from my identification, warp jump into orbit, and transmat us to the State Room. [State Room] DOCTOR: Oh yeah. Nice ship. Bit big. Not blue enough. Listen, there is a large blue box at coordinates six ultra nineteen P. I need it transmatted up here right away. PORRIDGE: Right. Did you get that? (The officer nods and works her console. The Cyberman walk past Webley in the castle Throne room as the bomb countdown passes 11.) PORRIDGE: And that's that. Seventy six, seventy seven, seventy eight, seventy nine (The planet goes KaBOOM, rocking the Imperial spaceship.) PORRIDGE: Farewell, Cyberiad. You know, it was good to get away. Good to be a person and not to be lonely, or Emperor of a thousand galaxies with everyone waiting for me to tell them what to do. ARTIE: Can't you run away again? PORRIDGE: They'll be keeping a close eye on me this time. That's what happens when you're Emperor. Loneliest job in the universe. CLARA: You don't have to be lonely. PORRIDGE: I don't. Clara, will you marry me? CLARA: What? ARTIE: He said ANGIE: She heard what he said. PORRIDGE: You're smart and you're beautiful, and I've never met anyone like you before. And being Emperor won't be as hard if you're by my side. And you'd rule a thousand galaxies. DOCTOR: This sounds like an actual marriage proposal. Tricky. Now, if you want my advice CLARA: You, not one word. This is between me and the Emperor. Porridge, I don't want to rule a thousand galaxies. PORRIDGE: Yeah. Silly of me. CLARA: I'm really sorry. ANGIE: But that's stupid. You could be Queen of the universe. How can you say no to that? When someone asks you if you want to be Queen of the universe, you say yes. You watch. One day, I'll be Queen of the universe. PORRIDGE: Of course, I could have you all executed, which is what a proper Emperor would do. DOCTOR: You're not actually going to do that, though, are you? Oh, you're. Hey? PORRIDGE: Go on, get out of here, all of you, before I change my mind. [Tardis] ARTIE: Thank you for having me. It was very interesting. DOCTOR: My pleasure. Thank you for coming. Now, I've got something for you. It's not from me, it's from the Tardis. Ah. New phone. ANGIE: Thanks. DOCTOR: You're welcome. ANGIE: Sorry I said this box was stupid. DOCTOR: Bye. ANGIE: Bye. Thanks, Clara. ARTIE: Thanks, Clara's boyfriend. (Angie and Artie leave.) CLARA: Thank you, Doctor. DOCTOR: For what? CLARA: Kid's day out. Getting us off the planet alive. Whatever you were doing with the Cybermen. Good night. See you next Wednesday. DOCTOR: Well, a Wednesday, definitely. Next Wednesday, last Wednesday (Clara leaves.) DOCTOR: One of the Wednesdays. Impossible girl. A mystery wrapped in an enigma squeezed into a skirt that's just a little bit too tight. Oh yeah. What are you? [State Room] PORRIDGE: Signs of any Cybertech remaining? GLORIA: No, Majesty. PORRIDGE: You ever wanted to be Emperor, Gloria? GLORIA: No, Majesty. PORRIDGE: That's the right answer. Come on. Let's go home. (Nearby in space, a piece of debris blinks with a blue light.) [Tardis] (The Doctor whistling whilst working underneath the Tardis Console.) AMY: Hey. DOCTOR: Hey. (She pulls him out from underneath.) AMY: Listen. Can we talk? DOCTOR: (shouts) Rory! AMY: Stop. Shut up. I've just got a question, that's all. RORY [OC]: You okay up there? DOCTOR: Yeah, fine, no problem. AMY: What are you doing? (Rory is on the lower level.) RORY: Helping the Doctor. It's humming. Is that okay? DOCTOR: Yeah, it's fine. We're just entering conceptual space. Imagine a banana, or anything curved. Actually, don't. It's not curved or like a banana. Forget the banana! AMY: Er, is he helping you fly the Tardis? DOCTOR: Detach servo-couplings two, seven and eleven, like I showed you. AMY: How come he gets to have a go? You never let me have a go. RORY: Er, Doctor, don't. Seriously. I let her drive my car once. AMY: Yeah, to the end of the road. RORY: According to Amy, there was an unexpected house. AMY: He's jealous because I passed my test first time. RORY: You cheated. You wore a skirt. AMY: I didn't wear a skirt. RORY: That would have worked too. AMY: No, no, I did wear a skirt. But it was any old skirt. RORY: Have you seen Amy drive, Doctor? DOCTOR: No. RORY: Neither did her driving examiner. AMY: Actually, it was this one. It was this skirt. (So, just barely covering anything then. The Tardis tilts and goes dark.) AMY: What was that? DOCTOR: Rory? Did you drop a thermo-coupling? RORY: Sorry. DOCTOR: Argh. How did you do that? I told you, don't drop them. I specifically mentioned not dropping. AMY: It was my fault. DOCTOR: Of course it wasn't your fault. RORY: It kind of was her fault. DOCTOR: How could it be her fault? AMY: Because it was my skirt and my husband and your glass floor. DOCTOR: Oh, Rory. RORY: Sorry. DOCTOR: Well, we've landed. Emergency materialisation. Should be fine. Should have dropped off in the safest spot available. (He brings the power back online. They walk forward to the railing to look at - another Tardis.) AMY: Doctor, what's happened? DOCTOR: Safest spot available. The Tardis has materialised inside itself. RORY: Is that supposed to happen? DOCTOR: Take a guess. RORY: No? DOCTOR: That's the one. (The Doctor goes to touch the other Tardis.) AMY: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Absolutely no idea. (He goes inside it and walks in through the main door.) AMY: Okay, that is a bit weird. (The Doctor puts his arm outside, and it waves at them from the new Tardis.) RORY: That is actually pretty cool. (The Doctor goes outside and steps out of the new Tardis.) DOCTOR: I'm glad you're entertained, Rory, now that we're stuck here for all eternity at least you won't be bored. AMY: Wait, what, we're stuck? DOCTOR: The inside of the Tardis is now joined to the outside of the Tardis. Worse than a time loop, a space loop. Nothing can enter or leave this ship ever again. (Another Amy walks in.) AMY 2: Okay, kids. This is where it gets complicated. Part Two [Tardis] AMY: Who the hell are you? AMY 2: I'm you, from your future. DOCTOR: Tell me exactly what's happened. AMY 2: Well, the exterior shell of the Tardis has drifted forwards in time. If you step into the box now, you step into the control floor a tiny bit in the past. AMY: I don't understand. AMY 2: (sotto) Neither do I. AMY: But you just said it. AMY 2: No, I'm just repeating it. I'm just remembering what I heard myself saying when I was standing where you are now, and repeating it. I'm just repeating this too. And this, and this. AMY: Oh, I still don't understand. AMY 2: You still don't. DOCTOR: Okay, when does Amy step inside the box. We need to maintain the time line. AMY 2: Ah. As soon as she's slapped Rory. AMY: Okay. RORY: Huh. No, why do I get slapped? DOCTOR: Because we have to stick to the established chain of events. One mistake and the whole time line could collapse. We could end up with two Amy Ponds for ever, and then what would you do? (Rory turns to Amy, finger raised. She slaps him.) DOCTOR: Okay, you. Into the police box now.  AMY: And then I become her? DOCTOR: Yes. Go, go, go! AMY: Do I really look like that? AMY 2: Yeah. Yeah, you do. AMY: Ooo. Nice choice for your driving lessons. AMY 2: I bet you would. DOCTOR: Oh, this is how it all ends. Pond flirting with herself. True love at last. Oh, sorry, Rory. RORY: (drooling) Absolutely no problem at all. DOCTOR: Now, Amy. AMY: What's the first line? AMY 2: Okay, kids, this is where it gets complicated. AMY: Gotcha. (She goes into the second Tardis.) AMY 2: So, is that it? Are we okay now? DOCTOR: No, we're still trapped. (Amy and Rory enter the Tardis.) DOCTOR: What are you doing? RORY 2: You told us to get into the police box. Well, from your point of view you're about to tell us to get into the police box. From our point of view you just told us to get into the police box, which is why we got into the police box, which is why we're here. RORY: Do I have to remember all of that? RORY 2: It just sort of happens. (The two Amys wave at each other happily.) AMY 2: Hi. AMY 3: Hi. DOCTOR: Stop that. You two, in the police box now. Run. (Rory and Amy 2 go into the Tardis.) AMY 3: So, what now? DOCTOR: You two, stay where you are. RORY 2: What are you doing? DOCTOR: I'm setting up a controlled temporal implosion. It's the only way to rest the Tardis. But unless I find exactly the right lever to control the implosion, we're all going to die. AMY 3: You don't know which lever? DOCTOR: No. But I'm about to find out. (The Doctor enters.) DOCTOR 2: The wibbly lever! DOCTOR: The wibbly lever. Thank you. (He throws the lever and runs into the Tardis, which then dematerialises.) DOCTOR: Okay, we're back in normal flight. The Tardis is no longer inside itself, the localised time field is no longer about to implode and rip a hole in all causality. But just in case, Pond, put some trousers on. (Over the view of someone using a proper old-fashioned manual typewriter and talking like a Raymond Chandler character.) GARNER [OC]: New York. The city of a million stories. Half of them are true. The other half just haven't happened yet. Statues, the man said. Living statues that moved in the dark. [Grayle's study] (On the ground floor of a rich man's home.) GRAYLE: So, will you take the case, Mister Garner? GARNER: Sure. Why not? GRAYLE: Because you don't believe me. GARNER: For twenty five dollars a day plus expenses, I'll believe any damn thing you like. GRAYLE: But you don't believe that statues can move. And you're right, Mister Garner. They can't. Of course they can't. When you're looking. (Across the street, in the rain, is a statue of a woman and child.) GARNER: Good night, Mister Grayle. (Sam Garner leaves. Grayle looks out of the window again, and the woman has vanished from the plinth across the road.) GARNER [OC]: The address Grayle gave me was an apartment block near Battery Park. He said it was where the statues lived. I asked him why he didn't go look himself. He didn't answer. Grayle was the scariest guy I knew. If something scared him, I kinda wanted to shake its hand. [Winter Quay apartments] (The building is smothered in statuary, including a Weeping Angel. A little girl looking out of a window covers her eyes, then peeks out and covers them again. The doors open for Garner and he goes inside. The Weeping Angel has removed her hands and is snarling.) GARNER: Hello? Hello? (The lift comes down for him. He steps inside and it goes up. The Angel is in the foyer.) GARNER: What the? (Garner leaves the lift and goes along the red-carpeted corridor to 702, which has the nameplate S Garner. The door is unlocked and he goes inside.) GARNER: Hello? Anyone home? (His had and coat are hanging on the rack, and his PI's id is in the wallet. Older and more dog-eared, but the same one. Then he hears someone grunting.) GARNER: Hello? (He looks at the old man in the bedroom.) GARNER: Who are you? OLD GARNER: They're coming for you. They're going to send you back. GARNER: Who's coming? Back where? OLD GARNER: In time. Back in time. I'm you. I'm you. (Garner leaves the apartment but is trapped between two Angels. There are more on the stairs below, so he runs to the roof. A giant snarling face is right behind him. Lady Liberty.) GARNER: You gotta be kiddin' me. [New York Central Park] STING: (singing) Whoa, I'm an alien. I'm a legal alien. I'm an Englishman in New York. (Picnicking near the Duck Pond.) DOCTOR: (reading) New York growled at my window, but I was ready for it. My stocking seams were straight, my lipstick was combat ready, and I was packing cleavage that could fell an ox at twenty feet. AMY: Doctor, you're doing it again. DOCTOR: I'm reading! AMY: Aloud. Please could you not? DOCTOR: There's something different about you, isn't there? RORY: What's the book? DOCTOR: Melody Malone. She's a private detective in old town New York. AMY: She's got ice in her heart and a kiss on her lips, and a vulnerable side she keeps well hidden. DOCTOR: Oh, you've read it? AMY: You read it. Aloud. And then went yowzah! RORY: Only you could fancy someone in a book. DOCTOR: I'm just reading it. I just like the cover. AMY: Ooo, can we see the cover? DOCTOR: No, no, I'm busy. It's your hair! Is it your hair? AMY: Oh, shut up. It's the glasses. I'm wearing reading glasses now, on my nose, see? There you go. DOCTOR: I don't like them. They make your eyes look all liney. No, actually, sorry. They're fine. Carry on. RORY: Okay, I'm going to go and get us some more coffee. Who wants more coffee? Me too. I'll go! AMY: Rory, do I have noticeable lines on my eyes now? DOCTOR: Yes. RORY: No. AMY: You didn't look. RORY: I noticed them earlier. Didn't notice them. I specifically remember not noticing them. AMY: You walk among fire pits, Centurion. RORY: Do I have to come over there? AMY: You can if you like. RORY: Well, we have company. AMY: I'll get a babysitter. (Rory and Amy kiss.) DOCTOR: Oh, do you know, it is so humiliating when you do that. RORY: Coffee? AMY: Coffee. DOCTOR: Can I have a go?  (The Doctor puts on Amy's reading glasses.) "DOCTOR; Oh, actually, that is much better. That is exciting." AMY: Read to me. DOCTOR: I thought you didn't like my reading aloud. AMY: Shut up, and read me a story. Just don't go yowzah. (The Doctor chuckles and tears out the last page of his book.) AMY: Why did you do that? DOCTOR: I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn't have to end. I hate endings. (He puts the page in the picnic basket.) DOCTOR: (reads) As I crossed the street, I saw the thin guy, but he didn't see me. I guess that's how it began. (Rory is walking back with the coffees past a fountain with cherubs. After he has past it, one of the cherubs is snarling, then it vanishes. A child laughs. It's giggles make Rory keep looking around.) DOCTOR: (reads) I followed the skinny guy for two more blocks before he turned and I could ask exactly what he was doing here. He looked a little scared, so I gave him my best smile and my bluest eyes. (Amy is playing Pooh sticks off the bridge.) AMY: Beware the yowzah. Do not, at this point, yowz. Doctor? What did the skinny guy say? DOCTOR: He said, 'I just went to get coffees for the Doctor and Amy. Hello, River.' [Central Park - night] RIVER: Hello, Dad. RORY: Where am I? How the hell did I get here? RIVER: I haven't the faintest idea, but you'll probably want to put your hands up. (Because the man behind him is pointing a gun straight at him. Rory puts his hands up. A big black man walks up behind River.) HOOD 1: Melody Malone? RORY: You're Melody? (A limousine pulls up.) HOOD 1: Get in. [New York] (The Doctor and Amy return to the Tardis.) AMY: What's River doing in a book? What's Rory doing in a book? DOCTOR: He went to get coffee. Pay attention. AMY: He went to get coffee and turned up in a book. How does that work? "DOCTOR; I don't know. We're in New York!" [Limousine] RORY: What is going on? [Tardis] AMY: Where did you get this book? DOCTOR: It was in my jacket. AMY: How did it get there? DOCTOR: How does anything get there. I've given up asking. Date, date. Does she mention a date? When is this happening? AMY: Yes, hang on. Oh, April 3rd, 1938. [Limousine] RIVER: You didn't come here in the Tardis, obviously. RORY: Why? RIVER: He couldn't have. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Couldn't have? What does she mean? Couldn't have? [Limousine] (Passing Grand Central Station.) RIVER: This city's full of time distortions. It'd be impossible to land the Tardis here. Like trying to land a plane in a blizzard. Even I couldn't do it. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Even who couldn't do it? AMY: Don't you two fall out, she's only in a book. DOCTOR: 1938. Easy one. (Bang! Flash! Sparks! Warning, The scanner reports Temporal Distortions Detected, then No Signal.) AMY: What was that? DOCTOR: 1938. We just bounced off it. [Limousine] RORY: So how did you get here? RIVER: Vortex manipulator. Less bulky than a Tardis. A motorbike through traffic. You? RORY: I'm not sure. [Graveyard] (The Doctor has landed so he can put out the fires in the Tardis. Nice view overlooking Manhattan.) AMY: The Weeping Angels? DOCTOR: It makes sense. AMY: It makes what? DOCTOR: That's what happened to Rory. That's what the Angels do. It's their preferred form of attack. They zap you back in time, let you live to death. AMY: Well, we've got a time machine. We can just go and get him. DOCTOR: Well, tried that, if you've noticed, and we are back where we started in 2012. AMY: We didn't start in a graveyard. What are we doing here? DOCTOR: Don't know. Probably causally linked somehow. Doesn't matter. Extractor fans on! AMY: Well, we're going to get there somehow. We're in the rest of the book. DOCTOR: Doing what? AMY: Page 43, you're going to break something. DOCTOR: I'm what? AMY: (reads) 'Why do you have to break mine', I asked the Doctor. He frowned and said, 'Because Amy read it in a book and now I have no choice.' DOCTOR: Stop! No! No! Stop! You can't read ahead. You mustn't. And you can't do that. AMY: But we've already been reading it. DOCTOR: Just the stuff that's happening now, in parallel with us. That's as far as we go. AMY: But it could help us find Rory. DOCTOR: And if you read ahead and find that Rory dies? This isn't any old future, Amy, it's ours. Once we know what's coming, it's fixed. 0 I'm going to break something, because you told me that I'm going to do it. No choice now. AMY: Time can be rewritten. DOCTOR: Not once you've read it. Once we know what's coming, it's written in stone. (Like the gravestone nearby that says In Loving Memory Rory Arthur Williams.) [Grayle's entrance hall] (River spots a china vase.) RIVER: Ah. Early Qin dynasty, I'd say. GRAYLE: Correct. Are you an archaeologist as well as a detective? [Tardis] DOCTOR: Okay, landing a plane in a timey wimey blizzard. I could push through, but if I'm out by a nanosecond, the engines will phase and I'll shatter the planet. I need landing lights. AMY: Landing lights? DOCTOR: Yes, I need a signal to lock on to. What did she say? Early what dynasty? [Grayle's entrance hall] GRAYLE: Early Qin, just as you say. You're very well informed. RIVER: And you're very afraid. That's an awful lot of locks for one door. RORY: River, I'm translating. (Chinese characters resolve themselves into English for Rory.) RIVER: It's a gift of the Tardis. It hangs around.  GRAYLE: This one. Put him somewhere uncomfortable. HOOD 1: With the babies, sir? GRAYLE: Yes, why not? Give him to the babies. [Grayle's cellar] (The hoodlum throws Rory down the stairs.) HOOD 1: The lights are out. You'll last longer with these. (He throws down a box of matches.) RORY: What do you care? HOOD 1: It's funnier. (Childish giggling.) RORY: Hello? [China 221 BC] (In a plate decorating workshop.) DOCTOR: Ah, hello, yes. (The Doctor flashes his psychic paper.) DOCTOR: Special commission from the Emperor. [Grayle's study] (As Grayle helps River off with her mackintosh, she spots the word Yowzah on one of the vases.) RIVER: Hello, sweetie. Let's see, crime boss with a collecting fetish. Whatever you don't let anyone else see has got to be your favourite. Or possibly your girlfriend. (River pulls the curtains to reveal a snarling Angel with manacles and chains on it.) RIVER: So, girlfriend, then. (River starts tapping on her Vortex manipulator keypad.) GRAYLE: What are you doing? RIVER: Oh, you know, texting a boy. [Tardis] (Yowzah comes up on the scanner.) DOCTOR: Landing lights. We have a signal. Locking on. [Grayle's study] GRAYLE: These things are all over, but people don't seem to notice. It never moves while you're looking. RIVER: Oh, I know how they work. GRAYLE: So I understand. Melody Malone, the detective who investigates Angels. RIVER: Badly damaged. GRAYLE: I wanted to know if it could feel pain. RIVER: You realise it's screaming? The others can hear. Is that why you need all the locks? (Grayle turns out the lights briefly, and the Angel grabs River's wrist.) GRAYLE: You're going to tell me all about these creatures. And you're going to do it quickly. (Out go the lights again.) [Grayle's cellar] (Rory lights a match. There is the sound of childish laughter and small feet running.) RORY: Hello, is someone there? (Yes, there are little cherubs closing in each time a match burns out.) RORY: Come on, come on. (Then one is close enough to blow the match out.) [Grayle's study] RIVER: The Angels are predators. They're deadly. What do you want with them? GRAYLE: I'm a collector. What collector could resist these? I'm only human. RIVER: That's exactly what they're thinking. (Then all the lights go out.) GRAYLE: What's that? What's happening? Is it an earthquake? (The wheezing sound of a struggling Type 40 can be heard, and papers start blowing around.) GRAYLE: What is it? RIVER: Oh, you bad boy. You could burn New York. GRAYLE: What does that mean? RIVER: It means, Mister Grayle, just you wait till my husband gets home. (The Tardis lands with a thud, knocking down Grayle and breaking the Chinese vase.) [Tardis] AMY: Come on! DOCTOR: Just a moment. Final checks. AMY: Since when? (The Doctor checks his appearance in a brass plate that says - Type FD 12 Mk VII Rolls Royce Motors, Crewe, England.) [Grayle's entrance hall] (Amy runs out and up the stairs.) AMY: Rory? Rory? Rory? DOCTOR: Sorry I'm late, honey. Traffic was hell. Shock. He'll be fine. [Grayle's study] RIVER: Not if I can get loose. DOCTOR: So where are we now, Doctor Song? How's prison? RIVER: Oh, I was pardoned ages ago. And it's Professor Song to you. DOCTOR: Pardoned? RIVER: Mmm. Turns out the person I killed never existed in the first place. Apparently, there's no record of him. It's almost as if someone's gone around deleting himself from every database in the universe. DOCTOR: You said I got too big. RIVER: And now no one's ever heard of you. Didn't you used to be somebody? DOCTOR: Weren't you the woman who killed the Doctor? RIVER: Doctor who? DOCTOR: She's holding you very tight. RIVER: At least she didn't send me back in time. DOCTOR: I doubt she's strong enough. RIVER: Well, I need a hand back, so which is it going to be? Are you going to break my wrist or hers? Oh, no. Really? Why do you have to break mine? DOCTOR: Because Amy read it in a book, and now I have no choice. (Amy is standing in the doorway.) DOCTOR: You see? RIVER: What book? DOCTOR: Your book. Which you haven't written yet, so we can't read. RIVER: I see. I don't like the cover much. AMY: But if River's going to write that book, she'd make it useful, yeah? RIVER: I'll certainly try. But we can't read ahead, it's too dangerous. AMY: I know, but there must be something we can look at. DOCTOR: What, a page of handy hints, previews, spoiler free? AMY: Chapter titles. (The Doctor scans the page of chapter titles - Chapter 9, Calling the Doctor, Chapter 10, The Roman in the Cellar, Chapter 11, Death at Winter Quay.) DOCTOR: He's in the cellar. AMY: Gimme! (The Doctor throws the sonic screwdriver to Amy, kisses River and starts to leave.) RIVER: Doctor? Doctor, what is it? What's wrong? Tell me. Doctor? Doctor, what is it, tell me. (Chapter 12 - Amelia's Last Farewell.) RIVER: Okay, I know that face. Calm down. Calm down! Talk to me. Doctor!  DOCTOR: No! Get your wrist out. You get your wrist out without breaking it! RIVER: How? DOCTOR: I don't know. Just do it. Change the future! [Grayle's cellar] AMY: Rory? DOCTOR: No! They're Angels. Baby Angels. AMY: Did they get Rory? Where is he? Did they take him? DOCTOR: Yes, I think so, yes. (They run back up the stairs. Rory is near Winter Quay.) [Grayle's entrance hall] AMY: So, is this what's going to happen? We just keep chasing him and they keep pulling him further back? RIVER: He isn't back in time. I'm reading a displacement, but there are no temporal markers. He's been moved in space, not in time, and it's not that far from here by the look of it. DOCTOR: You got out. AMY: So, where is he? DOCTOR: Well, come on, come on, come on, where is he? RIVER: If it was that easy, I'd get you to do it. DOCTOR: How did you get your wrist out without breaking it? RIVER: You asked, I did. Problem? DOCTOR: You just changed the future. RIVER: It's called marriage, honey. Now, hush, I'm working. (River's right arm is just hanging by her side.) DOCTOR: She's good, have you noticed? Really, really good. RIVER: Ah, wherever it is, it's within a few blocks. There's a car out front. Shall we steal it? DOCTOR: Show me! (The Doctor grabs River's hand and she gasps in pain. It is broken. Meanwhile, Rory is getting into the lift at Winter Quay.) "DOCTOR; Okay, when all those numbers on both units go to zero, that's when we've got a lock, okay? It's how we find Rory." AMY: Got it. DOCTOR: Why did you lie to me? RIVER: When one's in love with an ageless god who insists on the face of a twelve year old, one does one's best to hide the damage. DOCTOR: It must hurt. Come here. RIVER: Yes. The wrist is pretty bad too. (The Doctor transfers golden energy to River's hand.) RIVER: No. No. No, stop that. Stop that. Stop it! DOCTOR: There you go. How's that? (He kisses River's hand.) RIVER: Well, let's see, shall we? (She slaps his face.) RIVER: That was a stupid waste of regeneration energy. Nothing is gained by you being a sentimental idiot. DOCTOR: River RIVER: No, you embarrass me. DOCTOR: River! (River walks outside.) AMY: Tell you what. Stick to the science part. [Outside Grayle's home] AMY: Okay, why did you lie? RIVER: Never let him see the damage. And never, ever let him see you age. He doesn't like endings. [Grayle's entrance hall] (Beep!) DOCTOR: There you are. [Outside Grayle's home] DOCTOR: Got it. He's at a place called Winter Quay. The car, yes? Let's go. (They drive off, watched by the mother and son statues who then notice that Grayle's front door is ajar. When he wakes up, they confront Grayle. At Winter Quay, an apartment door opens before Rory can touch the handle, and he goes inside. There are Angels in the corridor.) [Limousine] RIVER: Why would they send him here? Why not zap him back in time, like they normally do? DOCTOR: We'll know that when we know what this place is. AMY: Winter Quay. [Winter Quay apartments] (Up in the lift.) AMY: Rory? RIVER: He's close. AMY: Rory! (Apartment 802) AMY: Rory! RORY: Amy. RIVER: Doctor, look at this. Why is it smiling? (The Doctor seems the nameplate by the door - R Williams.) DOCTOR: Amy. Rory! [Apartment 802] DOCTOR: Get out of here! Don't look at anything. Don't touch AMY: Who's that? (An old man in the bed. He points at them, very 2001 A Space Odyssey.) OLD RORY: Amy. Amy, please. Amy, please. Please. AMY: Rory? He's you. OLD RORY: Amy. (Old Rory dies.) RORY: Will someone please tell me what is going on? DOCTOR: I'm sorry, Rory, but you just died. (Chapter 11 Death at Winter Quay.) DOCTOR: This place is policed by Angels. Every time you try to escape, you get zapped back in time. AMY: So this place belongs to the Angels? They built it? "DOCTOR; Displacing someone back in time creates time energy, and that is what the Angels feed on. But normally, it's a one off, a hit and run. If they could keep hold of their victims, feed off their time energy over and over again. This place is a farm. A battery farm. How many Angels in New York?" RIVER: It's like they've taken over every statue in the city. DOCTOR: The Angels take Manhattan because they can, because they've never had a food source like this one. The city that never sleeps. (Slow heavy footsteps outside the window.) RORY: What was that? DOCTOR: I don't know. But I think they're coming for you. RORY: What does that mean? What is going to happen to me? What is physically going to happen? DOCTOR: The Angels will come for you. They'll zap you back in time to this very spot, thirty, forty years ago. And you'll live out the rest of your life in this room, until you die in that bed. RORY: And will Amy be there? DOCTOR: No. AMY: How do you know? DOCTOR: Because he was so pleased to see you again. RORY: Okay. Well, they haven't taken me yet. What if I just run? What if I just get the hell out of here? Then that never happens. "DOCTOR; It's already happened. Rory, you've just witnessed your own future." RIVER: Doctor, he's right. DOCTOR: No, he isn't. RIVER: If Rory got out, it would create a paradox. (Still the slow heavy footsteps.) AMY: What is that? RIVER: This is the Angels' food source. The paradox poisons the well. It could kill them all. This whole place would literally unhappen. DOCTOR: It would be almost impossible. RIVER: Loving the almost. DOCTOR: But to create a paradox like that takes almost unimaginable power. What have we got, eh? Tell me. Come on, what? AMY: I won't let them take him. That's what we've got. RORY: Whatever that thing is, it's getting closer. DOCTOR: Rory, even if you got out, you'd have to keep running for the rest of your life. They would be chasing you for ever. AMY: Well, then. Better get started. (She opens the apartment door. There is an Angel outside.) AMY: Husband, run! (Amy and Rory run past the Angels. The lights flicker.) DOCTOR: River, I'm not sure this can work. RIVER: Husband, shut up. (An Angel blocks the doorway. The light flickers again and they are in the room.) [Apartment stairwell] (Amy and Rory run downstairs and meet Angels.) AMY: Up! RORY: What good's up? AMY: Better than down! [Apartment 802] (The Doctor sonicks the light bulb to keep it on. He and River are surrounded by Angels.) DOCTOR: We can't keep doing this. RIVER: Any ideas? DOCTOR: Yeah, the usual. Run! (Amy and Rory make it on to the roof, where the Lady is waiting for them. The Doctor and River see the Angels on the stairs.) DOCTOR: Okay! Fire escape. [Winter Quay roof] RORY: I always wanted to visit the Statue Of Liberty. I guess she got impatient. (Rory runs to the opposite edge, behind Amy's back.) AMY: What? What is it, what? RORY: Just keep your eyes on that. AMY: Is there a way down? RORY: Er, no. But there's a way out. (Rory climbs up onto the ledge.) AMY: What are you doing? Rory, what are you doing? (Amy turns around and goes to him.) AMY: Rory, stop it. You'll die. RORY: Yeah, twice, in the same building on the same night. Who else could do that? AMY: Just come down, please. RORY: This is the right thing to do. This will work. If I die now, it's a paradox, right? The paradox kills the Angels. Tell me I'm wrong. Go on, please, because I'm really scared. Oh, great. The one time you can't manage it. Amy, I'm going to need a little help here. (Rory takes Amy's hand and puts it on his chest.) AMY: Just stop it! RORY: Just think it through. This will work, this will kill the Angels. AMY: It'll kill you too. RORY: Will it? River said that this place would be erased from time, never existed. If this place never existed, what did I fall off? AMY: You think you'll come back to life? RORY: When don't I? AMY: Rory. RORY: And anyway, what else is there? Dying of old age downstairs, never seeing you again? Amy, please. If you love me, then trust me, and push. AMY: I can't. RORY: You have to! AMY: Could you? If it was me, could you do it? RORY: To save you, I'd do anything. (Amy gets up on the ledge next to Rory.) AMY: Prove it. RORY: No, I can't take you too. AMY: You said we'd come back to life. Money where your mouth is time. RORY: Amy, look. AMY: Shut up. Together, or not at all. (The Doctor and River arrive via the fire escape.) DOCTOR: What the hell are you doing! AMY: Changing the future. It's called marriage. (Gazing into each others eyes, Amy and Rory fall off Winter Quay.) DOCTOR: Amy! Amy! (Balls of energy gather and flicker around the roof.) RIVER: Doctor! What's happening? DOCTOR: The paradox. It's working! The paradox is working! (Whiteout.) [Graveyard] (Rory and Amy sit up.) RORY: Where are we? DOCTOR: Back where we started. You collapsed the timeline. The paradox worked. We all pinged back where we belong. RORY: What, in a graveyard? AMY: This happened the last time. Why always here? DOCTOR: Does it matter? We got lucky. We could've blown New York off the planet. I can't ever take the Tardis back there. The timelines are too scrambled. I could have lost you both. Don't ever do that again. RORY: What did we do? We fixed it. We solved the problem. DOCTOR: I was talking to myself. (The Tardis has a bit of fire extinguisher damage. River appears from behind it with a bucket of water and a rag.) RIVER: It could do with a repaint. DOCTOR: I've been busy. RIVER: Does the bulb on top need changing? DOCTOR: I just changed it. RIVER: So. Rory and Amy, then. DOCTOR: Yes. I know, I know. RIVER: I'm just saying. They're going to get terribly bored hanging round here all day. RORY: Doctor. DOCTOR: Ha! RORY: Look, next time, could we could just go to the pub? DOCTOR: I want go to the pub right now. Are there video games there? I love video games. RIVER: Right. Family outing, then. (The Doctor and River go into the Tardis. Rory hangs back.) RORY: Amy, come and see this. AMY: What? RORY: There's a gravestone here for someone with the same name as me. AMY: What? (Rory vanishes. There was an Angel behind him.) AMY: Doctor! (The Doctor and River run out of the Tardis.) RIVER: Where the hell did that come from? DOCTOR: It's a survivor. Very weak, but keep your eyes on it. AMY: Where's Rory? (The Doctor sees Rory's gravestone - aged 82.) DOCTOR: I'm sorry. Amelia, I'm so, so sorry. AMY: No. No, we can just go and get him in the Tardis. One more paradox. DOCTOR: Would rip New York apart. AMY: No, that's not true. I don't believe you. RIVER: Mother, it's true. DOCTOR: Amy, what are you doing? AMY: That gravestone, Rory's, there's room for one more name, isn't there? DOCTOR: What are you talking about? Back away from the Angel. Come back to the Tardis. We'll figure something out. AMY: The Angel, would it send me back to the same time? To him? DOCTOR: I don't know. Nobody knows. AMY: But it's my best shot, yeah? DOCTOR: No! RIVER: Doctor, shut up. Yes. Yes, it is. DOCTOR: Amy. AMY: Well, then. I just have to blink, right? DOCTOR: No! AMY: It'll be fine. I know it will. I'll be with him, like I should be. Me and Rory together. Melody? DOCTOR: Stop it. Just, just stop it! (River takes Amy's hand and kisses it.) AMY: You look after him. You be a good girl, and you look after him. DOCTOR: You are creating fixed time. I will never be able to see you again. AMY: I'll be fine. I'll be with him. DOCTOR: Amy, please, just come back into the Tardis. Come along, Pond, please. AMY: Raggedy man, goodbye! (Amy turns her back on the Angel, and vanishes. Rory's gravestone gains more words - And His Loving Wife Amelia Williams aged 87.) DOCTOR: No! [Tardis] (River is flying the Tardis while the Doctor is inconsolable.) DOCTOR: River, they were your parents. I'm sorry, I didn't think. RIVER: It doesn't matter. DOCTOR: Of course it matters. RIVER: What matters is this. Doctor, don't travel alone. DOCTOR: Travel with me, then. RIVER: Whenever and wherever you want. But not all the time. One psychopath per Tardis, don't you think? Okay. This book I've got to write. Melody Malone. I presume I send it to Amy to get it published? DOCTOR: Yes. Yes. RIVER: I'll tell her to write an afterword. For you. Maybe you'll listen to her. (River leaves him alone.) DOCTOR: The last page! [Central Park] (The picnic hamper is still there, with the last page in it. He puts on Amy's reading glasses again.) AMY [OC]: Afterword, by Amelia Williams. Hello, old friend. And here we are, you and me, on the last page. By the time you read these words, Rory and I will be long gone. So know that we lived well, and were very happy. And above all else, know that we will love you always. Sometimes I do worry about you, though. I think once we're gone, you won't be coming back here for a while, and you might be alone, which you should never be. Don't be alone, Doctor. And do one more thing for me. There's a little girl waiting in a garden. She's going to wait a long while, so she's going to need a lot of hope. Go to her. Tell her a story. Tell her that if she's patient, the days are coming that she'll never forget. Tell her she'll go to sea and fight pirates. She'll fall in love with a man who'll wait two thousand years to keep her safe. Tell her she'll give hope to the greatest painter who ever lived and save a whale in outer space. Tell her this is the story of Amelia Pond. And this how it ends. P.S. by Chris Chibnall (a webisode.) The scene that was never shot. [Kitchen - end of Power of Three] (During the meal with Brian, the Doctor puts his arms around Amy and Rory.) DOCTOR: I know. You both have lives here. Beautiful, messy lives. That is what makes you so fabulously human. You don't want to give them up. I understand. BRIAN:  Actually, it's you they can't give up, Doctor. And I don't think they should. Go with him. Go save every world you can find. Who else has that chance? Life will still be here. DOCTOR: You could come, Brian. BRIAN: Somebody's got to water the plants. The rest is words over a storyboard presentation, with plaintive music to tug at our heartstrings.). [Int: Rory & Amy's house/hall - sunset]. ( Brian is watering the plants. He stops and looks around. The emptiness of the house, the absence of Amy and Rory. The doorbell rings on Brian - strange... He opens the door and finds a man - Anthony, in his mid-sixties. Wearing an old-fashioned suit. A New York accent.} ANTHONY: Mr Brian Williams? BRIAN: Yes. How did you know I was here? This isn't my house. ANTHONY: This is for you. (He holds out an envelope with Dad written on it.) BRIAN: I don't understand. ANTHONY: You should read it. I'll wait. {He walks in, past a bemused Brian.} [Int: Rory & Amy's house/lounge - sunset.] (Brian is on the sofa. He opens the letter.} RORY [OC]:  Dear Dad. This is the difficult bit. If I've got this right, you're reading this letter a week after we left in the Tardis. Er, the thing is, we're not coming back. We're alive and well, and stuck in New York, fifty years before I was born. We can't come home again. I won't ever see you again, and that breaks my heart. I'm so sorry, Dad. I thought about this for years, and I realised there was one thing I could do. I could write to you. Tell you everything about how we lived. How despite it all, we were happy. But before I do, I need you to know, you are the best dad any son could've had, and for all of the times I've drove you mad, and you drove me mad, all the times I snapped at you, I'm sorry. I miss everything about you. Especially our awkward hugs. I bought a trowel! We have a small yard. I garden. {A photograph of Rory, Amy, and a baby sitting on a sofa.} RORY [OC]: But one more important bit of business. The man who delivered the letter... Anthony. Be nice to him, because he's your grandson. [Int: Rory & Amy's house/hall - sunset] (Brian walks out into the hall, slowly approaching Anthony.} RORY [OC]: We finally adopted in 1946. Anthony Brian Williams. He can tell you everything. He'll have the family albums, and I realise having a grandson who's older than you is so far beyond weird, but I'm sorry. I love you, Dad. I miss you. {Brian stands in front of Anthony. Anthony holds out his hand.} ANTHONY: How d'you do, sir? {Brian, so affected, so stunned. We close over sketch of them hugging.} [Starliner] (Near a planet with a thick cloudy atmosphere and a lovely view of the Horse Head Nebula.) TANNOY: Would all passengers please return to their seats and fasten their safety belts? We are experiencing slight turbulence. (Things are going Bang! on the bridge, which is strongly modelled on the Starship Enterprise.) CAPTAIN: Both engines failed, and the storm-gate's critical. The ship is going down. Christmas is cancelled. PILOT: Entering atmosphere now. Level. Keep her level. CO-PILOT: Level with what? I can't see. What is that stuff? CAPTAIN: Clouds? PILOT: What kind of clouds? (Distress signal activated.) CAPTAIN: Are you sending a distress signal? PILOT: It's not me. (Location: Honeymoon suite.) CAPTAIN: Who's in the honeymoon suite? (Amy enters, wearing her stripper policewoman outfit.) AMY: I've sent for help. CAPTAIN: Who the hell are you? AMY: Look, there's a friend of mine, okay? And he can help us. He'll come. CAPTAIN: And what are you wearing? AMY: That doesn't matter. CAPTAIN: Are you from the honeymoon suite? AMY: Oh, shut up. (Enter a Roman Centurion.) RORY: Amy, the light's stopped flashing Does that mean he's coming? PILOT: Honeymoon suite? RORY: Oh. Oh, the clothes. Er. It is just a bit of fun. AMY: Really, shut up. CO-PILOT: Sensor loss on eighty percent of the hull. RORY: So, does this mean he's coming, or does it mean I need to change the bulb? AMY: He'll come. He always comes. RORY: Right. Well, he is cutting it kind of fine. CAPTAIN: If we can't stabilise the orbit, we're finished. CO-PILOT: There's nothing to lock onto. I am flying blind. AMY: Come on, Doctor, come on. CO-PILOT: There's something coming alongside us. Something small, like a shuttle. AMY: Just this once, don't be late. PILOT: Ma'am. Incoming message. It's from the other ship. CAPTAIN: On screen. (Message reads - Come along Pond.) CAPTAIN: What does that mean? AMY: It's Christmas. [Main room] (Down below the thick cloud layer is a bustling metropolis, dominated by a domed building sending an energy beam into the sky. A scruffy boy runs through a market area, slightly alien Dickensian.) SARDICK: [OC]: On every world, wherever people are, in the deepest part of the winter, at the exact mid-point, everybody stops and turns and hugs, as if to say, well done. Well done, everyone. We're halfway out of the dark. Back on Earth, we called this Christmas, or the Winter Solstice. On this world, the first settlers called it the Crystal Feast. SARDICK: You know what I call it? I call it expecting something for nothing. (Hello, Ebenezer Scrooge. He turns from the little window and walks into a massive room with just a pieces of furniture around a large but empty fireplace. A poor family are waiting for him, a man, an old woman and a young boy.) BENJAMIN: Sir. Mister Sardick. We're only asking for one day. Just let her out for Christmas. She loves Christmas. (A cryochamber is wheeled in, containing a young woman.) SARDICK: Does she? Oh, does she? I see. Hello. Wakey, wakey. It's Christmas. Do you know what? I think she's a bit cool about the whole thing. Ha, ha! That was funny. (The servants chuckle obediently.) BOY: She's frozen. SARDICK: She's what, sorry? BOY: She's in the ice. She can't hear you. SARDICK: Oh, what a clever little boy. You must be so irritated. How much? (A servant brings an account.) SERVANT: Er, it's four thousand five hundred Gideons, sir. SARDICK: You took a loan of four thousand five hundred Gideons, and Little Miss Christmas is my security. (How very Monty Python Merchant Banker. Another servant brings in a ringing candlestick telephone.) BENJAMIN: We're not asking for her back. Just let her have one day. Let her have Christmas with us. SERVANT: Sir, it's the President. SARDICK: Tell him I'm busy. Now, where were we? Oh, yes. She's pretty, though, your daughter. Maybe I should keep her. BENJAMIN: She's not my daughter, sir. ISABELLA: She's my sister. She volunteered for the ice when the family were in difficulties many years ago. SERVANT: Sorry, sir. The President says there's a galaxy class ship trapped in the cloud layer and, well, we have to let it land. SARDICK: Or? SERVANT: Well, or it'll crash, sir. SARDICK: Oh. Well, it's a kind of landing, isn't it? SERVANT: It's from Earth, sir, registering over four thousand lifeforms on board. SARDICK: Not if we wait a bit. SERVANT: You can't just let it crash, sir. (The sound of the Tardis arriving nearby.)  SARDICK: Says who? Oh, give it here. (Sardick takes the telephone.) SARDICK: Look, petal, we already have a surplus population. No more people allowed on this planet. I don't make the rules. (Soot falls down the chimney.) SARDICK: Oh no, hang on, I do. (Sardick hangs up the receiver.) SARDICK: Right, you lot. Poor, begging people. Off home and pray for a miracle. (The Doctor tumbles out of the fireplace in a shower of soot.) DOCTOR: Ah. Yes. Blimey. Sorry. Christmas Eve on a rooftop. Saw a chimney, my whole brain just went, what the hell. (He goes to the family.) DOCTOR: Don't worry, fat fellow will be doing the rounds later. I'm just scoping out the general chimney-ness. Yes. Nice size, good traction. Big tick. BENJAMIN: Fat fellow? DOCTOR: Father Christmas, Santa Claus or, as I've always known him, Jeff. BOY: There's no such person as Father Christmas. DOCTOR: Oh, yeah? (The Doctor produces an old photograph.) DOCTOR: Me and Father Christmas, Frank Sinatra's hunting lodge, 1952. See him at the back with the blonde? Albert Einstein. The three of us together. Brrm. Watch out. Okay? Keep the faith. Stay off the naughty list. (The Doctor spots what looks like a big cinema organ.) DOCTOR: Ooo. Now, what's this then? I love this. A big flashy lighty thing. That's what brought me here. Big flashy lighty things have got me written all over them. Not actually, but give me time, and a crayon. Now, this big flashy lighty thing is connected to the spire in your dome, yeah? And it controls the sky. Well, technically it controls the clouds, which technically aren't clouds at all. Well, they're clouds of tiny particles of ice. Ice clouds. Love that. Who's she? SARDICK: Nobody important. DOCTOR: Nobody important. Blimey, that's amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space, I've never met anyone who wasn't important before. Now, this console is the key to saving that ship, or I'll eat my hat. If I had a hat. I'll eat someone's hat. Not someone who's using their hat. I don't want to shock a nun, or something. Sorry, rambling, because, because this isn't working! SARDICK: The controls are isomorphic. One to one. They respond only to me. DOCTOR: Oh, you fibber. Isomorphic. There's no such thing. (Sardick reaches over and switches it off then on again. All the Doctor gets are annoyed beeps, even with the screwdriver.) DOCTOR: These controls are isomorphic. SARDICK: The skies of this entire world are mine. My family tamed them, and now I own them. DOCTOR: Tamed the sky? What does that mean? SARDICK: It means I'm Kazran Sardick. How can you possibly not know who I am? DOCTOR: Well, just easily bored, I suppose. So, I need your help, then. SARDICK: Make an appointment. DOCTOR: There are four thousand and three people in a spaceship trapped in your cloud belt. Without your help, they're going to die. SARDICK: Yes. DOCTOR: You don't have to let that happen. SARDICK: I know, but I'm going to. Bye, bye. Bored now. Chuck. (The Doctor wriggles out of the clutches of a servant and goes to Sardick, who is settling into a tall leather armchair by the fireplace.) SARDICK: Ooo, look at you, looking all tough now. DOCTOR: There are four thousand and three people I won't allow to die tonight. Do you know where that puts you? SARDICK: Where? DOCTOR: Four thousand and four. SARDICK: Was that a sort of threat-y thing? DOCTOR: Whatever happens tonight, remember you brought it on yourself. SARDICK: Yeah, yeah, right. Get him out of here. And next time, try and find me some funny poor people. (The boy throws a stray piece of coal at Sardick as he, his family and the Doctor are hustled out. Sardick runs over to hit the child.) DOCTOR: No, stop, don't. BENJAMIN: Don't you dare. You leave him. SARDICK: Get him out of here. Get that foul-smelling family out of here. Out! BOY: We're going! (The Doctor remains behind.) SARDICK: What? What do you want? DOCTOR: A simple life. But you didn't hit the boy. SARDICK: Well, I will next time. DOCTOR: You see, you won't. Now why? What am I missing? SARDICK: Get out. Get out of this house. DOCTOR: The chairs. Of course, the chairs. Stupid me, the chairs. SARDICK: The chairs? DOCTOR: There's a portrait on the wall behind me. Looks like you, but it's too old, so it's your father. All the chairs are angled away from it. Daddy's been dead for twenty years, but you still can't get comfortable where he can see you. There's a Christmas tree in the painting, but none in this house, on Christmas Eve. You're scared of him, and you're scared of being like him, and good for you, you're not like him, not really. Do you know why? SARDICK: Why? DOCTOR: Because you didn't hit the boy. Merry Christmas, Mister Sardick. SARDICK: I despise Christmas. DOCTOR: You shouldn't. It's very you. SARDICK: It's what? What do you mean? DOCTOR: Halfway out of the dark. (The servants return and the Doctor leaves.) SARDICK: Get her downstairs with the others. And clean up this mess. [Starliner] CO-PILOT: Everything's offline. Secondary furnace just vented. (Amy is on the phone to the Doctor.) AMY: Have you got a plan yet? [Sardicktown] DOCTOR: Yes, I do. [Starliner] AMY: Are you lying? [Sardicktown] DOCTOR: Yes, I am. [Starliner] AMY: Don't treat me like an idiot. RORY: Was he lying? AMY: No, no. DOCTOR [OC]: Okay [Sardicktown] DOCTOR: The good news. I've tracked the machine that unlocks the cloud belt. I could use it to clear you a flight corridor and you could land easily. [Starliner] AMY: Oh, hey. Hey, that's great news. [Sardicktown] DOCTOR: But I can't control the machine. [Starliner] AMY: Less great. [Sardicktown] DOCTOR: But I've met a man who can. AMY: Ah, well [Starliner] AMY: There you go. [Sardicktown] DOCTOR: And he hates me. AMY [OC]: Were you being [Starliner] AMY: Extra charming and clever? [Sardicktown] DOCTOR: Yeah. How did you know? [Starliner] AMY: Lucky guess. [Sardicktown] BENJAMIN: Sir? Sir. DOCTOR: Hang on. BENJAMIN: I've never seen anybody stand up to Mister Sardick like that. Bless you, sir, and merry Christmas. DOCTOR: Merry Christmas. Lovely. Sorry, bit busy. BENJAMIN: You'd better get inside, sir. The fog's thick tonight, and there's a fish warning. DOCTOR: All right, yeah. Sorry, fish? BENJAMIN: Yeah. You know what they're like when they get a bit hungry. DOCTOR: Yeah, fish, I know fish. Fish? BENJAMIN: It's all Mister Sardick's fault, I reckon. He always lets a few fish through the cloud layer when he's in a bad mood. Thank you. Bless you once again, sir. DOCTOR: Fish? [Starliner] AMY: Doctor, the Captain says we've got less than an hour. [Sardicktown] AMY [OC]: What should we be doing? (There is a shoal of tiddlers swimming around a street light.) DOCTOR: Fish. AMY [OC]: Sorry, what? DOCTOR: Fish that can swim in fog. I love new planets. AMY [OC]: Doctor. [Starliner] AMY: Doctor, please don't get distracted. [Starliner] (The little fish nibble at the Doctor's outstretched fingers while a big shadow passes some way behind him.) DOCTOR: Now, why would people be frightened of you tiny little fellows? Look at you, sweet little fishy-wishies. Mind you, fish in the fog, so the cloud cover. Ooo. Careful up there. [Starliner] AMY: Oh great, thanks, Doctor, because there was a real danger we were all going to nod off. We've got less than an hour! [Sardicktown] (The town clock shows 11 o'clock.) DOCTOR: I know. TANNOY: Ding dong merrily on high AMY [OC]: Doctor? [Starliner] AMY: How are you getting us off here? [Sardicktown] DOCTOR: Oh, just give me a minute. Can't use the Tardis, because it can't lock on. So, that ship needs to land. But it can't land unless a very bad man suddenly decides to turn nice just in time for Christmas Day. [Starliner] AMY: Doctor, I can't hear you. What is that? Is that singing? [Sardicktown] DOCTOR: A Christmas carol. [Starliner] AMY: A what? [Sardicktown] DOCTOR: A Christmas carol. [Starliner] AMY: A what? [Sardicktown] DOCTOR: A Christmas Carol! TANNOY: Hosanna in excelsis. AMY [OC]: Doctor? TANNOY: Gloria DOCTOR: Kazran Sardick. AMY [OC]: Doctor! DOCTOR: Merry Christmas, Kazran Sardick. TANNOY: Hosanna in excelsis. [Kazran's bedroom] (The old Kazran Sardick is sleeping in his big leather chair, when we are shown a video recording of a young boy in his pajamas. The lad is making a video diary on his computer.) KAZRAN: Hello, my name is Kazran Sardick. I'm twelve and a half, and this is my bedroom. [Main room] SARDICK: Top secret special project. [Kazran's bedroom] KAZRAN: This is my top secret special project. For my eyes only. Merry Christmas. ELLIOT [OC]: Kazran! [Main room] (Old Sardick wakes at the shout from his father. The scene with his young self is being projected on the far wall where the main door is. Elliot Sardick is played as a caricature of Lord Alan Sugar.) ELLIOT [on screen]: Kazran! Kazran, what are you doing? What are you doing? I've warned you before about this, you stupid, ignorant, ridiculous child. KAZRAN [on screen]: I was just going to make a film of the fish. ELLIOT [on screen]: The fish are dangerous. KAZRAN [on screen]: I just want to see them. ELLIOT [on screen]: Don't be stupid. You're far too young. KAZRAN [on screen]: Everyone at school's seen the fish. ELLIOT [on screen]: That's enough. You'll be singing to them next, like gypsies. KAZRAN [on screen]: The singing works. I've seen it. The fish like the singing. ELLIOT [on screen]: What does it matter what fish like? KAZRAN [on screen]: People say we don't have to be afraid of the fish. They're not really interested in us. ELLIOT [on screen]: You don't listen to people. You listen to me. (Elliot, the Sardick father, hits Kazran, the boy, who is now an old man. Sardick flinches as if he had been hit.) KAZRAN [on screen]: Ow! I'm sorry, Father. ELLIOT [on screen]: This is my house. While you're under my roof, you'll obey my instructions. I don't care what you (The Doctor touches Sardick on the shoulder.) DOCTOR: It's okay, it's okay. SARDICK: What have you done? What is this? DOCTOR: Found it on an old drive. Sorry about the picture quality. Had to recover the data using quantum enfolding and a paperclip. Oh, I wouldn't bother calling your servants. They quit. Apparently they won the lottery at exactly the same time, which is a bit lucky when you think about it. SARDICK: There isn't a lottery. DOCTOR: Yeah, as I say, lucky. ELLIOT [on screen]: There's a fog warning tonight. You keep these windows closed, understand? Closed. SARDICK: Who are you? DOCTOR: Tonight, I'm a Ghost Of Christmas Past. ELLIOT [on screen]: Mrs Mantovani will be looking after you tonight. You stay here till she comes. Do you understand? Do you understand? DOCTOR: Did you ever get to see a fish, back then, when you were a kid? SARDICK: What does that matter to you? DOCTOR: Look how it mattered to you. SARDICK: I cried all night, and I learned life's most invaluable lesson. DOCTOR: Ah. Which is? SARDICK: Nobody comes. Get out! Get out of my house! DOCTOR: Okay. Okay, but I'll be back. Way back. Way, way back. (The Doctor goes through the door and into the Tardis, which dematerialises in the now and rematerialises outside Kazran's window.) DOCTOR [on screen]: See? Back. KAZRAN [on screen]: Who are you? DOCTOR [on screen]: Hi. I'm the Doctor. I'm your new babysitter. KAZRAN [on screen]: Where's Mrs Mantovani? DOCTOR [on screen]: Oh, you'll never guess. Clever old Mrs Manters, she only went and won the lottery. SARDICK: There isn't any lottery. KAZRAN [on screen]: There isn't any lottery. DOCTOR [on screen]: I know. What a woman. KAZRAN [on screen]: If you're my babysitter, why are you climbing in the window? DOCTOR: Because if I was climbing out of the window, I'd be going in the wrong direction. Pay attention. KAZRAN [on screen]: But Mrs Mantovani's always my babysitter. DOCTOR [on screen]: Times change. Wouldn't you say? You see? Christmas Past. KAZRAN [on screen]: Who are you talking to? DOCTOR [on screen]: You. Now, your past is going to change. That means your memories will too. Bit scary, but you'll get the hang of it. KAZRAN [on screen]: I don't understand. DOCTOR [on screen]: I'll bet you don't. I wish I could see your face. SARDICK: But that never happened. But it did. [Kazran's bedroom] DOCTOR: Right then, your bedroom. Great. Let's see. You're twelve years old, so we'll stay away from under the bed. Cupboard! Big cupboard. I love a cupboard. Do you know, there's a thing called a face spider. It's just like a tiny baby's head with spider legs, and it's specifically evolved to scuttle up the backs of bedroom cupboards which, yeah, I probably shouldn't have mentioned. Right. So. What are we going to do? Eat crisps and talk about girls? I've never actually done that, but I bet it's easy. Girls? Yeah? KAZRAN: Are you really a babysitter? DOCTOR: I think you'll find I'm universally recognised as a mature and responsible adult. (He shows Kazran the psychic paper.) KAZRAN: It's just a lot of wavy lines. DOCTOR: Yeah, it's shorted out. Finally, a lie too big. Okay, no, not really a babysitter, but it's Christmas Eve. You don't want a real one. You want me. KAZRAN: Why? What's so special about you? DOCTOR: Have you ever seen Mary Poppins? KAZRAN: No. DOCTOR: Good. Because that comparison would've been rubbish. Fish in the fog. Fish in the clouds. How do people ever get bored? How did boredom even get invented? KAZRAN: My dad's invented a machine to control the cloud belt. Tame the sky, he says. The fish'll be able to come down, but only when we let them. We can charge whatever we like. DOCTOR: Yeah. I've seen your dad's machine. (A shark glides past behind the Doctor's back. The window is still open.) KAZRAN: What? You can't have. DOCTOR: Tame the sky. Human beings. You always manage to find the boring alternative, don't you? You want to see one? A fish. We can do that. We can see a fish. KAZRAN: Aren't you going to tell me it's dangerous? DOCTOR: Dangerous? Come on, we're boys. And you know what boys say in the face of danger. KAZRAN: What? DOCTOR: Mummy. (Later, the sonic screwdriver is dangling from a string passed through a lamp fitting in the ceiling and leading into -) [Cupboard] (Where the other end is tied to the Doctor's finger.) KAZRAN: Are there any face spiders in here? DOCTOR: Nah, not at this time of night. They'll all be sleeping in your mattress. So, why are you so interested in fish? KAZRAN: Because they're scary. "DOCTOR; Good answer." KAZRAN: What kind of tie is that? DOCTOR: A cool one. KAZRAN: Why is it cool? DOCTOR: Why are you really interested in fish? KAZRAN: My school. During the last fog belt, the nets broke and there was an attack. Loads of them. A whole shoal. No one was hurt, but it was the most fish ever seen below the mountains. DOCTOR: Were you scared? KAZRAN: I wasn't there. I was off sick. DOCTOR: Ooo, lucky you. Not lucky. KAZRAN: It's all anyone ever talks about now. The day the fish came. Everyone's got a story. DOCTOR: But you don't. [Main room] DOCTOR [on screen]: I see. KAZRAN [on screen]: Why are you recording this? DOCTOR [on screen]: Do you pay attention at school, Kazran? [Cupboard] KAZRAN: Sorry, what? DOCTOR: Because you're not paying attention now. (Something is tugging at the string.) DOCTOR: Shush. [Main room] SARDICK: Now I remember. No, Doctor, you mustn't! KAZRAN [on screen]: Doctor, are you sure? [Cupboard] DOCTOR: Trust me. KAZRAN: Okay. DOCTOR: Oi. Eyes on the tie. Look at me. I wear it and I don't care. Trust me. [Main room] SARDICK: Yes. [Cupboard] KAZRAN: Yes. DOCTOR: That's why it's cool. [Kazran's bedroom] (A fish is investigating the flashing sonic screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Hello, fishy. Let's see. Interesting. Crystalline fog, eh? Maybe carrying a tiny electrical charge. Is that how you fly, little fishy? KAZRAN [OC]: What is it? [Cupboard] KAZRAN: What kind? Can I see? DOCTOR [OC]: Just stay there a moment. [Kazran's bedroom] KAZRAN [OC]: Is it big? DOCTOR: Nah, just a little one. So, little fellow, what do you eat? (Then a shark swoops in and devours the little fish and the sonic screwdriver in one big toothy bite.) [Cupboard] KAZRAN: How little? [Kazran's bedroom] DOCTOR: Er. KAZRAN [OC]: Can I come out? DOCTOR: No, no. Maybe just wait there for a moment. KAZRAN [OC]: What colour is it? DOCTOR: Big. Big colour. [Cupboard] KAZRAN: What's happening? DOCTOR: Well, concentrating on the plusses, you've definitely got a story of your own now. Also, I got a good look at the fish, and I think I understand how the fog works, which is going to help me land a spaceship in the future and save a lot of lives. And I bet I get some very interesting readings off my sonic screwdriver when I get it back from the shark in your bedroom. KAZRAN: There's a shark in my bedroom? DOCTOR: Oh fine, focus on that part. (Bang! against the door, then quiet.) KAZRAN: Has it gone? What's it doing? DOCTOR: What do you call it if you don't have any feet, and you're taking a run-up? [Main room] (The screen image dissolves into static.) SARDICK: No! It's going to eat us. [Cupboard] KAZRAN: It's going to eat us. It's going to eat us. It's going to eat us. Is it going to eat us? (The shark is stuck in the cupboard door.) DOCTOR: Well, maybe we're going to eat it, but I don't like the odds. It's stuck, though. Let's see. Tiny shark brain. If I had my screwdriver, I could probably send a pulse and stun it. KAZRAN: Well, where's your screwdriver? DOCTOR: Well, concentrating on the plusses, within reach. You know, there's a real chance the way it's wedged in the doorway is keeping its mouth open. KAZRAN: There is? DOCTOR: Just agree with me, because I've only got two goes, and then it's your turn. KAZRAN: Two goes? DOCTOR: Two arms. Right, then. Okay. Geronimo. Open wide. [Balcony] (Outside Kazran's bedroom window, the shark is lying stunned at the Doctor's feet. The dome is still under construction behind them.) DOCTOR: What's the big fishy done to you? Swallowed half of you, that's what. Half a screwdriver, what use is that? Bad, big fishy. KAZRAN: Doctor? I think she's dying. DOCTOR: Half my screwdriver's still inside, but yeah, I think so. I doubt they can survive long outside the cloud belt. Just quick raiding trips on a foggy night. KAZRAN: Can't we get it back up there? We were just going to stun it. I didn't want to kill it. DOCTOR: She was trying to eat you. KAZRAN: She was hungry. [Main room] DOCTOR [OC]: I'm sorry, Kazran. I can't save her. [Balcony] DOCTOR: I could take her back up there, but she'd never survive the trip. We need a fully functioning life-support. [Main room] KAZRAN [OC]: You mean like an icebox? [Balcony] KAZRAN: Okay. [Main room] (Kazran and the Doctor run down the stairs. There is a decorated Christmas tree in the room.) DOCTOR: Ooo, a tree. (Kazran gets a lamp and they go downstairs.) [Outside the Cryovault] DOCTOR: What is this? KAZRAN: The surplus population. That's what my Dad calls it. (They try to open the door.) KAZRAN: Oh, it's not turning. Oh, why won't it turn? (There is a keypad nearby.) DOCTOR: Ah, what's the number? [Main room] SARDICK: Seven two five eight. [Outside the Cryovault] KAZRAN: I don't know. DOCTOR: This place is full of alarms. It's not just the door. I need the number. [Main room] SARDICK: Seven two five eight. [Outside the Cryovault] DOCTOR: I need the number. KAZRAN: I'm not allowed to know until I'm older. [Main room] SARDICK: Seven two five eight. DOCTOR: Just what I was after. Thank you. [Outside the Cryovault] DOCTOR: Seven two five eight. Seven two five eight. [Cryovault] DOCTOR: Ah, there's fish down here, too. KAZRAN: Yeah, but only tiny ones. The house is built on a fog lake, that's how Dad freezes the people. They're all full, but we could borrow one. Yeah, this one. (The young woman, Isabella's sister.) DOCTOR: Hello again. KAZRAN: You know her? DOCTOR: Why her? Important, is she? KAZRAN: She won't mind. She loves the fish. (Kazran starts a recording.) ABIGAIL: My name is Abigail Pettigrew, and I'm very grateful for Mister Sardick's kindness. My father KAZRAN: She starts to talk about the fish in a minute. ABIGAIL: But I would not allow it. I could not have chosen this path were it not for the compassion and generosity of the great philanthropist and patron of the poor, Mister Elliot Sardick. But I'm also surrounded by the fish, the beautiful, iridescent, magical fish. DOCTOR: Why are these people here? ABIGAIL: they dash beneath the light as they dart through the fog. DOCTOR: What's all this for? KAZRAN: My dad lends money. He always takes a family member as, he calls it security. (And there are hundreds of them.) DOCTOR: Hard man to love, your dad. But I suppose you know that. ABIGAIL: Nature. I am not alone, and I am at peace. (The recording ends.) KAZRAN: What's wrong? DOCTOR: Just my half a screwdriver trying to repair itself. It's signalling the other half. KAZRAN: The other half's inside the shark. DOCTOR: Yeah? Sounds like she's woken up. Okay, so it's homing on the screwdriver. (And there is the shark again.) [Main room] SARDICK: Run! Run! (Kazran finds a place to hide, and Jaws cruises behind him. Then the guest opera singer does her thing with Christina Rosetti's poem.) ABIGAIL: (sings) In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan. Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone. Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow. In the bleak midwinter long ago. (Abigail is out of her cryochamber and the shark is calm beneath her hand.) DOCTOR: It's not really the singing, of course. KAZRAN: Yes, it is. DOCTOR: Nah. KAZRAN: The fish love the singing. It's true. DOCTOR: Nah. The notes resonate in the ice crystals, causing a delta wave pattern in the fog. Ow. A fish bit me. KAZRAN: Shut up, then. ABIGAIL: Heaven and earth shall flee away DOCTOR: Of course. That's how the machine controls the cloud belt. The clouds are ice crystals. If you vibrate the crystals at exactly the right frequency, you could align them into ow! Why do they keep biting me? KAZRAN: Look, the fish like the singing, okay? Now shut up. DOCTOR: Okay. ABIGAIL: In the bleak midwinter, falling down before, the ox and ass and camel which adore. [Main room] (The portrait behind Sardick's chair is now of Abigail, not his father.) SARDICK: It's bigger on [Cryovault] (Abigail and Kazran are looking inside the Tardis.) KAZRAN: The inside. DOCTOR: Yeah, it's the colour. Really knocks the walls back. (The shark is in Abigail's cryochamber.) DOCTOR: Shark in a box, to go. [Main room] SARDICK: Abigail. [Tardis] ABIGAIL: This is amazing. DOCTOR: Nah, this is transport. I keep amazing out here. (The Doctor opens the doors. They are in the clouds, amongst the fish.) DOCTOR: Come on, then. Let's get this shark out. (Young Kazran takes a photograph which old Sardick digs out of his memory box. The shark is released.) KAZRAN: Hey, look at her go. (The Doctor closes Abigail's cryochamber and sees a set of dials on the front - 000 008.) DOCTOR: Abigail, this number. What does it mean? ABIGAIL: It pertains to me, sir, not the fish. DOCTOR: Yeah, but how? ABIGAIL: You are a doctor, you say? Are you one of mine? DOCTOR: Do you need a doctor? (The microwave goes ding!) DOCTOR: Ah. Sorry. Time's up, kids. KAZRAN: Why? DOCTOR: It's nearly Christmas Day. [Cryovault] (They put Abigail back in her cryochamber.) ABIGAIL: If you should ever wish to visit again. DOCTOR: Well, you know, if I'm ever in the neighbourhood. KAZRAN: He comes every Christmas Eve. DOCTOR: What? KAZRAN: Yeah, he does. Every time. He promises. DOCTOR: No, I don't. (Kazran shuts Abigail's cryochamber. Then it opens again, with the Doctor and Kazran wearing red fur-trimmed hats.) DOCTOR + KAZRAN: Merry Christmas! ABIGAIL: Doctor! What are we going to do? KAZRAN: The Doctor's got a great plan. Wait till you hear. (They run out of the vault. The dials on Abigail's chamber click down to 000 007.) [Sardicktown] ABIGAIL: You are out of your mind. This will never work. (They have a carriage with nothing to pull it. The Doctor points his half a sonic screwdriver into the sky.) DOCTOR: Oh, don't think shark, think dolphin. ABIGAIL: A shark isn't a dolphin. DOCTOR: It's nearly a dolphin. ABIGAIL: No, it isn't. DOCTOR: That's where you're wrong, because. Shut up. KAZRAN: It could be anywhere. Will it really come? DOCTOR: No chance. Completely impossible. Except at Christmas. (So the three go on a shark powered sleigh ride through the skies.) KAZRAN: How are we going to get back? DOCTOR: I don't know. ABIGAIL: Do you have a plan? DOCTOR: I don't know. (They buzz the roof tops, causing delight to the viewers.) [Cryovault] ABIGAIL: Best Christmas Eve ever. KAZRAN: Till the next one. [Main room] (Sardick has an array of photographs spread before him.) SARDICK: New memories. How can I have new memories? [Cryovault] DOCTOR + KAZRAN: Merry Christmas! ABIGAIL: Doctor. Where to this time? DOCTOR: Did I mention, at any point, all of time and space? (And the next time.) DOCTOR + KAZRAN: Merry Christmas! ABIGAIL: Doctor. (According to the photographs, Egypt.) DOCTOR: Merry Christmas! (Kazran is a shy teenager. They are both wearing very long, striped scarves.) ABIGAIL: Doctor. (Her counter clicks down to 4. They visit somewhere mountainous.) DOCTOR + KAZRAN: Merry Christmas! (Kazran is now a strapping young man.) ABIGAIL: Kazran. -3 [Tardis] ABIGAIL: You've grown. KAZRAN: Yes. ABIGAIL: And now you're blushing. KAZRAN: I'm sorry. ABIGAIL: That's okay. KAZRAN: So, Doctor, where this time? DOCTOR: Pick a Christmas Eve. I've got them all right here. ABIGAIL: Might I make a request? DOCTOR: Of course. ABIGAIL: This one. [Outside Eric's home] (Inside, the family are preparing for Christmas. Abigail stands outside the door, whilst the Doctor and Kazran are a little way off.) ERIC [OC]: Thank you, darling. KAZRAN: Who are they? DOCTOR: Her family. The lady's her sister. I met her once, when she was older. KAZRAN: Abigail's crying. DOCTOR: Yes. KAZRAN: When girls are crying, are you supposed to talk to them? DOCTOR: I have absolutely no idea. (Kazran goes over to Abigail.) ABIGAIL: My sister's family. They're so happy. KAZRAN: They look very poor. ABIGAIL: They are very poor. Doesn't mean you can't be happy. ERIC [OC]: Close the curtains. (Their view is shut off.) KAZRAN: And then why aren't you? ABIGAIL: Because this is the life I can never have. KAZRAN: Why not? (Abigail squeezes his hand.) ABIGAIL: I think you're blushing again. (The Doctor opens the curtains from the inside.) DOCTOR: Come in. [Eric's home] (The Doctor tries a card trick on the youngest boy, who I think grows up into the Benjamin at the top of the show.) DOCTOR: Pick a card. Any card at all. ISABELLA: Every Christmas Eve? I don't understand. ABIGAIL: I'm not sure I do. DOCTOR: You memorise the card, you put it back in the deck. Don't let me see it. ERIC: Is this what it looked like last year? ISABELLA: It doesn't have to be exactly the same. ERIC: I'm starting again. Come on, Kazran, we're starting again. ISABELLA: That's Sardick's boy, isn't it? ABIGAIL: He's not like his father. ISABELLA: His father treats everyone like cattle. One day that boy will do the same. ABIGAIL: No. He's different. DOCTOR: The three of clubs. BEN: No. DOCTOR: You sure? Because I'm very good at card tricks. BEN: It wasn't the three of clubs. DOCTOR: Well, of course it wasn't, because it was the seven of diamonds. BEN: No. DOCTOR: Oi, stop it, you're doing it wrong. ISABELLA: I see him around the town sometimes. Never any friends. ABIGAIL: He's got me. ISABELLA: All those Christmas Eves, you never once came to see us. ABIGAIL: I'm here now. ISABELLA: Then stay. Stay for tomorrow. Have Christmas dinner with us. ABIGAIL: I can't. ISABELLA: Well, then. Tomorrow's Christmas dinner is cancelled, as my sister refuses to attend. ABIGAIL: Isabella ISABELLA: Instead, we'll have it tonight. (Around the dinner table, crackers are pulled.) DOCTOR: Three, two, one, pull! (Ben's has a playing card in it.) BEN: How did you do that? DOCTOR: Your card, I believe. (The eight of hearts.) BEN: No. DOCTOR: Oh, shut up. (Kazran proposes a toast.) KAZRAN: Er, Merry Christmas. ALL: Merry Christmas. (Under the table, Abigail and Kazran are holding hands.) [Cryovault] ABIGAIL: Best Christmas Eve ever. DOCTOR: Ah. Till the next one. ABIGAIL: I look forward to it. Now I'd like to say good night to Kazran. DOCTOR: Of course, yes. Well, on you go. Oh. Oh. Yes. Right. Sorry. I'll, er, I'll go, then. Good night. (to Kazran) Good luck. Night. Good night. (He backs into another cryochamber.) DOCTOR: Sorry. (Kazran goes after him.) KAZRAN: Doctor. I, er, I think she's going to kiss me. DOCTOR: Yeah, I think you're right. KAZRAN: I've never kissed anyone before. What do I do? DOCTOR: Well, try and be all nervous and rubbish and a bit shaky. KAZRAN: Why? DOCTOR: Because you're going to be like that anyway. Might as well make it part of the plan, then it'll feel on purpose. Off you go, then. KAZRAN: What, now? I kiss her now? DOCTOR: Kazran, trust me. It's this or go to your room and design a new kind of screwdriver. Don't make my mistakes. Now, go. (Kazran returns to Abigail, who pulls him to her and kisses him. In the future, Sardick looks at pictures of them both in front of the Statue of Liberty, Uluru - or Eyres Rock if you prefer - Sydney Opera House, Empire State Building, Eiffel Tower. One says California 1952 on the back. The three are in front of the Hollywood sign.) [Hollywood 1952] (A party is going on out of sight. Kazran comes to find his love, who is alone by the swimming pool.) KAZRAN: Abigail, are you coming back? The Doctor is going to do a duet with Frank. Abigail? What's wrong? ABIGAIL: I have something to tell you. KAZRAN: A bad thing? ABIGAIL: A very bad thing. KAZRAN: What is it? ABIGAIL: The truth. (The Doctor appears from behind a tree as Abigail and Kazran are kissing. His has lipstick on his face.) DOCTOR: Guys, we've really got to go quite quickly. I just accidentally got engaged to Marilyn Monroe. How do you keep going like that? Do you breathe out your ears? Hello? Sorry. Hello? Guys, she's phoned a chapel. There's a car outside. This is happening now. MARILYN: Yoo-hoo! DOCTOR: Yoo-hoo. Right. Fine. Thank you. I'll just go and get married then, shall I? See how you like that. Marilyn? Get your coat! (The Doctor leaves. Kazran and Abigail end their kiss.) KAZRAN: What are we going to do? ABIGAIL: There is nothing to be done. [Cryovault] KAZRAN: Good night, Abigail. ABIGAIL: Good night, Kazran. (Kazran seals Abigail in her cryochamber.) DOCTOR: There we go. Another day, another Christmas Eve. I'll see you in a minute, eh? I mean, a year. KAZRAN: Doctor? Listen, why don't we leave it? DOCTOR: Sorry, leave what? KAZRAN: Oh, you know, this. Every Christmas Eve. It's getting a bit old. DOCTOR: Old? KAZRAN: Well, Christmas is for kids, isn't it? I've got some work with my dad now. I'm going to focus on that. Get that cloud belt under control. DOCTOR: Sorry, I didn't realise I was boring you. KAZRAN: Not your fault. Times change. DOCTOR: Not as much as I'd hoped. Kazran. I'll be needing a new one, anyway. What the hell. (The Doctor gives Kazran his half a screwdriver.) DOCTOR: Merry Christmas. And if you ever need me, just activate it. I'll hear you. KAZRAN: I won't need you. DOCTOR: What's happened? What are you not telling me? What about Abigail? KAZRAN: I know where to find her. DOCTOR: Yeah. (The counter on the cryochamber is down to 000 001.) [Main room] (Sardick looks around. His father's portrait is back. Meanwhile, in the past, the Wurlitzer is ready.) ELLIOT: Another Christmas Eve, Kazran. But a very special one. It's complete. Look at it. Sound waves. As simple as that. We can control the clouds, the fog, the fish. KAZRAN: Why do we want to control the fish? ELLIOT: People are cattle. If you want to control cattle, you need to control their predators. What's the face for? Look what I'm giving you. The sky, and everything beneath it. Only you and I can control this. This planet is ours. KAZRAN: Excuse me, Father. (Kazran returns to his room and takes the screwdriver from his desk drawer. The Doctor is standing outside the window. Kazran draws the curtains on him and puts the screwdriver back. Time passes and old Sardick takes it out again. Shortly after, the telephone rings. Sardick answers it.) SARDICK: Yes, what? Oh, Mister President, we've been through this. It's not going to crash on my house, so what's it got to do with me? Yes, I know. four thousand and three. As a very old friend of mine once took a very long time to explain, life isn't fair. (A hologram of Amy appears.) AMY: Hello. SARDICK: Who are you? What are you doing here? AMY: You didn't think this was over, did you? I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present. SARDICK: A ghost? Dressed like that? (Amy is replaced by Rory.) RORY: Eyes off the skirt. (Amy pushes him out of the way.) SARDICK: You turned into a Roman. AMY: Yeah. Yeah, I do that. I also do this. SARDICK: Do what? What are you talking about? VOICES [OC]: Silent night, holy night. [Cryovault] PEOPLE: (sing) All is calm, all is bright, round yon virgin mother and child, Holy infant so tender and mild. Christ the Saviour is born. Christ the Saviour is born. AMY: They're holograms. Projections, like me. SARDICK: Who are they? AMY: The people on the ship up there. The ones that you're going to let die tonight. SARDICK: Why are they singing? AMY: For their lives. Which one's Abigail? The Doctor told me. SARDICK: Did he now? AMY: AH, he doesn't hold back. You know the Doctor. SARDICK: How do I? I never met him before tonight. Now I seem to have known him all my life. How? Why? AMY: You're the only person who can let that ship land. He was trying to turn you into a nicer person. And he was trying to do it nicely. SARDICK: He's changed my past, my whole life. AMY: Time can be rewritten. SARDICK: You tell the Doctor. Tell him from me, people can't. (Sardick walks through the holograms, which vanish, to a particular cryochamber.) AMY: That's Abigail? SARDICK: I would never have known her if the Doctor hadn't changed the course of my whole life to suit himself. AMY: Well, that's good, isn't it? SARDICK: No. AMY: Why is she still in there? You could let her out any time. SARDICK: Oh, yes. Any time at all. Any time I choose. AMY: Then why don't you? SARDICK: This is what the Doctor did to me. Abigail was ill when she went into the ice. On the point of death. I suppose the rest in the ice helped her. But she's used up her time. All those Christmas Eves with me. I could release her any time I want, and she would live a single day. So tell me, Ghost of Christmas Present, how do I choose which day? AMY: I'm sorry. I really am. I'm very, very sorry. But you know what? She's got more time left than I have. More than anyone on this ship. SARDICK: Good. AMY: Rory, widen the beam. [Starliner] CAPTAIN: Status update on engine one. SARDICK: How did I get here? AMY: You didn't. It's your turn to be the hologram. Since you're going to let a lot of people die, I thought you might like to see where it's all going to happen. SARDICK: The singing. What is it? I don't understand. RORY: It's the Doctor's idea. The harmonies resonate in the ice crystals, that's why thee fish like it. He thought maybe it would stabilise the ship. But it isn't working. It's not powerful enough. SARDICK: Why are they still singing, then? CAPTAIN: Because we haven't told them. Sir, I understand you have a machine that controls this cloud layer. If you can release us from it, we still have time to make a landing. Nobody has to die. SARDICK: Everybody has to die. AMY: Not tonight. SARDICK: Tonight's as good as any other. How do you choose? AMY: Doctor? DOCTOR [OC]: Yeah? AMY: Are you hearing this? DOCTOR [OC]: I can hear. SARDICK: He's here? Where is he? Doctor? [Cryovault] SARDICK: Doctor! DOCTOR: I'm sorry. I didn't realise. SARDICK: All my life, I've been called heartless. My other life, my real life, the one you rewrote. Now look at me. DOCTOR: Better a broken heart than no heart at all. SARDICK: Oh, try it. You try it. Why are you here? DOCTOR: Because I'm not finished with you yet. You've seen the past, the present, and now you need to see the future. SARDICK: Fine. Do it. Show me. I'll die cold, alone and afraid. Of course I will. We all do. What difference does showing me make? Do you know why I'm going to let those people die? It's not a plan. I don't get anything from it. It's just that I don't care. I'm not like you. I don't even want to be like you. I don't and never, ever will care. DOCTOR: And I don't believe that. SARDICK: Then show me the future. Prove me wrong. DOCTOR: I am showing it to you. I'm showing it to you right now. So what do you think? Is this who you want to become, Kazran? (Sardick turns around to see little boy Kazran standing there in his dressing gown.) KAZRAN: Dad? (Sardick is about to hit his younger self when he remembers -) ELLIOT [memory]: This planet is ours. (And the time he nearly hit Benjamin's son, and kissed Abigail and put her back to live for ever. He cries. Kazran cries. They hug each other.) SARDICK: I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. It's okay, don't be frightened. I'm, I'm so, so, so DOCTOR: Kazran. We don't have much time. [Starliner] CO-PILOT: Structural integrity at thirty percent. CAPTAIN: We have five minutes max. We need to land. DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: Hello? Hello? Ah, hello, everyone. Prepare to lock on to my signal. AMY: Doctor, what's happening? DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: I just saved Christmas. Don't go away. AMY: Doctor? Doctor! [Main room] (Sardick is at the controls of his father's mighty Wurlitzer.) DOCTOR: We good to go, then? SARDICK: The controls, they won't respond. DOCTOR: Of course they will. They're isomorphic. They're tuned to your brainwaves. They'll only respond to you. SARDICK: They won't respond. DOCTOR: That doesn't make sense. That's ridiculous. Why wouldn't? Oh. Oh, of course. Stupid, stupid Doctor. SARDICK: What's wrong? Tell me, what is it? DOCTOR: It's you. It's you. I've changed you too much. The machine doesn't recognise you. SARDICK: But my father programmed it. DOCTOR: No, your father would never have programmed it for the man you are now. SARDICK: Then what do we do? DOCTOR: Er, er, I don't know. I don't know. KAZRAN: There must be something. SARDICK: This. You can use this. I kept it, see? DOCTOR: What, half a screwdriver? With the other half up in the sky in a big old shark, right in the heart of the cloud layer. If we use your aerial to boost the signal, set up a resonation pattern between the two halves. Ooo, come on, that would work. My screwdriver, coolest bit of kit on this planet. Coolest two bits. It could do it. SARDICK: Do what? DOCTOR: Well, my screwdriver is still trying to repair. It's signalling itself. We use the signal, but we send something else. KAZRAN: Send what? SARDICK: Well, what? What? DOCTOR: I'm sorry, Kazran. I truly am. SARDICK: I don't understand. We need to transmit something into the cloud belt. Something we know works. We need her to sing. [Cryovault] DOCTOR: Her voice resonates perfectly with the ice crystals. It calmed the shark. It will calm the sky, too. SARDICK: Could you do it? Could you do this? Think about it, Doctor. One last day with your beloved. Which day would you choose? ABIGAIL: Christmas. Christmas Day. Look at you. You're so old now. I think you waited a bit too long, didn't you? SARDICK: I'm sorry. ABIGAIL: Hoarding my days, like an old miser. SARDICK: But if you leave the ice now ABIGAIL: We've had so many Christmas Eves, Kazran. I think it's time for Christmas Day. SARDICK: Yes. [Starliner] AMY: Doctor! CAPTAIN: We can't hold this. Time's up. We're going down. AMY: Doctor! CO-PILOT: Captain, I've got. I don't know what I've got. (Singing coming over the speakers.) CAPTAIN: What is that? What are you listening to? CO-PILOT: This is coming from outside. This is coming from the actual clouds. (The turbulence stops as the new Murray Gold song starts.) [Sardicktown] (The Doctor has hooked up the screwdriver to the beam transmitter in the dome, and Abigail is using it as a microphone.) ABIGAIL: (sings) When you're alone, silence is all you know. SARDICK: Well? Well? DOCTOR: Well, the singing resonates in the crystals. It's feeding back and forth between the two halves of the screwdriver. Now, one song, filling the sky. The crystals will align and I'll feed in a controlled phase loop, and the clouds will unlock. KAZRAN: What does that mean, unlock? What happens when a cloud unlocks? DOCTOR: Something that hasn't happened in this town for a very long time now. ABIGAIL: (sings) When you're alone, silence is all you see. When you're alone, silence is all you'll be. [Starliner] ABIGAIL [OC]: Give me your hand and come to me. PILOT: We're flying normally. CAPTAIN: Can you land? PILOT: I can even land well. AMY: Oh, he did it. The Doctor did it. RORY: Yeah, he gets all the credit. Which is actually fair enough, if you think about it. [Sardicktown] (It is snowing.) ABIGAIL: (sings) When you are here, music is all around. When you are near, music is all around. Open your eyes, don't make a sound. (The shark glides overhead.) SARDICK: Hello, my old friend. ABIGAIL: (sings) Let in the shadow. DOCTOR: Let's go. (Young Kazran goes into the Tardis.) ABIGAIL: (sings) Let in the shadow, let in the light of your bright shadow. Let in the shadow, let in the shadow. (The Doctor goes into the Tardis and it dematerialises, leaving a clear square in inch or so of fresh snow.) ABIGAIL: (sings) Let in the light of your bright shadow. (Later, the Doctor is rubbing noses with a snowman.) AMY: You know, that could almost be mistaken for a real person. The snowman isn't bad, either. DOCTOR: Ah, yes, you two. About time. Why are you dressed like that? RORY: Er, kind of lost our luggage. Kind of crash landed? DOCTOR: Yeah, but why are you dressed like that at all? AMY: Yeah, they really love their snowmen around here, don't they? I've counted about twenty. DOCTOR: Yeah, I've been busy. AMY: Yeah. Yeah, you have. Thank you. DOCTOR: Pleasure. Right, come on then, let's go. RORY: Got any more honeymoon ideas? DOCTOR: Well, there's a moon that's made of actual honey. Well, not actual honey, and it's not actually a moon, and technically it's alive, and a bit carnivorous, but there are some lovely views. RORY: Yeah. Great. Thanks. (Rory goes inside the Tardis.) AMY: Are you, are you okay? DOCTOR: Of course I'm okay. You? AMY: Of course. It'll be their last day together, won't it? DOCTOR: Everything has got to end some time, otherwise nothing would ever get started. RORY: Your phone was ringing. Someone called Marilyn. Actually sounds like the Marilyn. AMY: Doctor? DOCTOR: Tell her I'll phone her back. And that was never a real chapel. AMY: Where are they? Kazran and Abigail. DOCTOR: Off on a little trip, I should think. AMY: Where? DOCTOR: Christmas. AMY: Christmas? DOCTOR: Yeah, Christmas. (Amy joins Rory in the Tardis.) DOCTOR: Halfway out of the dark. (Sardick and Abigail fly past in their carriage pulled by the shark.) [Prequel] (On a spaceship, the Doctor is making a phone call to the Tardis.) DOCTOR [OC]: Amy. Amy? Hello? Amy, it's me, the Doctor. Hello. Bit of a situation. COMPUTER: Intruder alert. DOCTOR: I've got my finger on a button, which is fine, but as soon as I take my finger off the button the spaceship is going to explode. (Sparks.) DOCTOR: Argh. Which is good in one way, because the spaceship in question is about to attack the Earth, but bad in another way, because I'm on the spaceship and I'm going to get all smithereened. Now, plan. I'm going to send you the coordinates so you can fly the Tardis here and rescue me. Only three flaws in this plan as far as I can see. One, I don't have the coordinates. Two, you can't fly the Tardis. Three, oh dear, you're not even there. You left ages ago. Oh, well. I think I just wanted a chat before all the smithereens. Merry Christmas, Amelia. (He closes his eyes and releases the red button. The spaceship starts to go KaBOOM!) [Earth orbit] (Cannons of mass destruction protrude from the flanks of an impossibly long spaceship.) ALIEN [OC]: People of Earth, you stand alone. (Boom. Parts of the spaceship explode and it starts to fall apart.) COMPUTER [OC]: Intruder alert. Intruder alert. [Spaceship] COMPUTER [OC]: Intruder alert. (The Doctor runs along a disintegrating corridor. He sonics his way into the spacesuit storage area by an airlock, then an explosion blows half of it away. He is hanging on to the end of a frayed cable.) DOCTOR: Ah! Come here, spacesuit. Come to Doctor. (Another explosion blows him and the suit into space.) [Earth orbit] (The Doctor catches up with the suit just before the atmosphere.) DOCTOR: Got it! [Country lane] (It is the late 1930s. A woman is bicycling along when she hears an Argh! and a Whumph! as something hits the ground at speed. She falls off her bicycle into a hedge, then goes to investigate the crater in the field nearby. It contains an occupied spacesuit.) MADGE: Hello? Hello? Hello, are you all right? DOCTOR: Ow. MADGE: Are you hurt? Did you fall? Where did you fall from? DOCTOR: Helmet. MADGE: All right, just just let me. I don't want to hurt you. (She raises the solid protective visor, then the transparent one, to reveal a lot of hair.) MADGE: Oh. DOCTOR: I can't see. I'm blind! MADGE: Oh no, love, no. I think you've just got your helmet on backwards. How did you manage that? DOCTOR: I got dressed in a hurry. [Living room] (A bespectacled young boy in pajamas is looking through a telescope.) MADGE: Cyril, what are you doing awake? (His older sister is also in her night clothes.) LILY: It's the moon's fault, apparently. It's too interesting. CYRIL: It's astronomy. LILY: Don't make up words. He's always making up things and breathing. MADGE: Where's your father? CYRIL: In the garden. MADGE: What's he doing in the garden? CYRIL: Agriculture. LILY: You're not fooling anyone. MADGE: Listen, Cyril. Tell him that I've borrowed Mister Goldsmith's car. That I found a spaceman in a field, possibly an angel, but he's injured and I can't get his helmet off, so I'm having to take him into town to find a police telephone box, all right? CYRIL: All right. MADGE: Good boy. (Madge leaves.) REG: Was that your mother? Where's she going? CYRIL: Out. [Town] (There is a police box by the green. Madge stops the car by gently running into a wooden bollard.) DOCTOR: Ow! Did we just bump into something? MADGE: No, no. DOCTOR: We seemed to bump into quite a lot of things. MADGE: Well, a lot of things get in the way. It's hardly my fault. You need to take that silly thing off. DOCTOR: Can't. Impact suit. It's still repairing me. MADGE: Repairing you? (She helps him out of the car.) DOCTOR: Yeah, well, you know, that's the idea. MADGE: Won't it repair you all back to front? DOCTOR: No. No. MADGE: Well, that's good. Oh, that's a street lamp. DOCTOR: Yes, I got that impression. MADGE: Round this way. Don't you want me to take you to hospital or something? You're welcome to come to our house. DOCTOR: No, no, no. I'm fine. I just need to find the, er, the key. MADGE: Do you want me to do it with a pin? I'm good with a pin. (She takes out a hair grip.) DOCTOR: Multi-dimensional, triple encoded temporal interface. Not really susceptible to pointy things. MADGE: Got it. DOCTOR: Okay. Suddenly the last nine hundred years of time travel seem that bit less secure. Thank you for taking care of me. You didn't have to, you know. You've been very kind. MADGE: Oh, don't be silly. It's Christmas Eve. No one should be alone at Christmas. DOCTOR: What did you say your name was? MADGE: Madge. Madge Arwell. DOCTOR: If there's anything that I can do for you, let me know. MADGE: How? DOCTOR: I don't know. Make a wish. That usually works. MADGE: Does it? DOCTOR: It did for me. You're here, aren't you? Well, don't wait around here. Just off you go home. I'll just go and, and wait inside here. (He goes inside the police telephone box.) DOCTOR: Ow! Wrong one. Do you think we could try again? [Living room] (Reg is reading his newspaper, the News Chronicle. The head line is War Looms. Madge enters.) REG: You were a long time. Been taking home strays as usual? MADGE: Just the one. What have you been reading? Not the war again. People keep reading about the war, then it will actually happen. And then where will you be? [Bomber] (Three years later, in the RAF, that's where, flying a damaged plane. Probably a Stirling, as the Lancaster didn't come in until 1942.) CO-PILOT: Sir, Anderson's in a bad way. Where are we? REG: I don't know. Somewhere over the Channel. CO-PILOT: What do I tell Anderson? REG: Tell him, tell him, tell him we're going home for Christmas. CO-PILOT: Yes, sir. REG: I'm sorry, my love. [Living room] (Madge wakes up and sees the dreaded telegram on her bedside table. Regret to inform you etc night of 20th Dec Deepest Sympathy. Later, after dinner but before the big jelly is attacked for pudding.) CYRIL: When's Father coming back? LILY: For Christmas, like he always does. Now, hurry up and think of something. CYRIL: But we're going to Uncle Digby's house. Will he be there? LILY: He will, won't he, mother? Daddy will be there. MADGE: Of course he will. LILY: See? Now, have you thought of anything? CYRIL: Er, yep. LILY: Count of three, then. Make a wish. One, two, three! (As her children pull the wishbone, Madge makes a wish.) [Outside Uncle Digby's house] (Christmas Eve outside a massive old house. Probably a Victorian rebuild of something much older.) CYRIL: Is it haunted? LILY: Is it draughty? MADGE: Oh, this is no good. Where's Mister Cardew? He was supposed to be here. (Madge goes to knock on the door.) CYRIL: Maybe it's haunted by the ghost of Uncle Digby. LILY: Uncle Digby is still alive. He's in a home in Battersea. MADGE: Mister Cardew! CYRIL: But why do we have to come here? LILY: Because of the bombing, stupid. CYRIL: I like the bombing. It's exciting. LILY: Will Father be here? Well, he will, won't he? You said he'd meet us at the house. MADGE: He'll be here. Of course he will. You don't need to keep asking about it. (Someone unbolts the door from the inside.) LILY + CYRIL: Father! DOCTOR [OC]: Sorry, it's the door. It's developed a fault. MADGE: Oh, hello? Mister Cardew? (One of the double doors is pulled off its hinges.) DOCTOR: There we go. Well, come in. In you come. [Entrance hall] (Marble floor, lovely staircase up, some dustsheets.) DOCTOR: Mind your step. Now, don't worry. The back door is still, broadly speaking, operational. (The Doctor puts the door back in its hole.) DOCTOR: Right then, may I take your cases? MADGE: Thank you. LILY: Thank you. CYRIL: Thank you. DOCTOR: Lovely. Would you mind carrying them for me? I need to show you round. MADGE Oh no, wait! (The Doctor runs up the stairs.) MADGE: Who are you? DOCTOR: I'm the caretaker. MADGE: But you're not Mister Cardew. DOCTOR: I agree. MADGE: I don't understand. Are you the new caretaker? DOCTOR: Usually called the Doctor. Or the Caretaker or Get Off This Planet. Though, strictly speaking, that probably isn't a name. Hello, Madge Arwell. MADGE: Hello. DOCTOR: And Cyril Arwell. And Lily Arwell. Now, come on, come on. Lots to see. Whistle stop tour. Take notes, there will be questions. [Small sitting room] DOCTOR: Smaller sitting room. Just chairs. Bit pointless without a television, so I made some repairs. (He presses a button by the door and the easy chairs move around on their own.) DOCTOR: I know. [Kitchen] DOCTOR: Kitchen! That's a cooker, probably. And these are taps. Hot, cold, lemonade. CYRIL: Lemonade? DOCTOR: I know! [Staircase] DOCTOR: Staircase. It seems to have broken down. We'll have to walk up. [Landing] DOCTOR: I sleep up there. Stay away. Beware of panthers. LILY: Panthers? DOCTOR: They're terrifying. Have you never seen panthers? Cyril! [Madge's bedroom] (With a huge canopy over the bed.) DOCTOR: Mum's bedroom. Grown up. Your basic boring. [Children's room] (More toys than you can play with in a month.) DOCTOR: Lily and Cyril's room. I'm going to be honest, masterpiece. The ultimate bedroom. A sciencey wiencey workbench. A jungle. A maze. A window disguised as a mirror. A mirror disguised as a window. Selection of torches for midnight feasts and secret reading. Zen garden, mysterious cupboard, zone of tranquillity, rubber wall, dream tank, exact model of the rest of the house, not quite to scale. Apologies. Dolls with comical expressions, the Magna Carta, a foot spa, Cluedo, a yellow fort. CYRIL: Where are the beds? DOCTOR: Well, I couldn't fit everything in. There had to be sacrifices. Anyway, who needs beds when you've got (He pulls a lever and down from the ceiling come - ) DOCTOR: Hammocks! I know. CYRIL: But how do you get on? DOCTOR: Watch and learn, kid. (The Doctor takes a run, jumps, and falls right between the two hammocks.) MADGE: For God's sake! DOCTOR: This hammock has developed a fault. MADGE: Can you please stop talking? Can you please just stop! DOCTOR: Sorry. MADGE: Children, go downstairs. LILY: Why? CYRIL: Are we leaving? MADGE: Yes. No. I don't know. Just please go downstairs! LILY: You don't need to shout. (Lily and Cyril leave.) MADGE: Why are you doing all this? DOCTOR: I'm just trying to take care of things. I'm the caretaker. MADGE: That's not what caretakers do. DOCTOR: Then why are they called caretakers? MADGE: Their father's dead. DOCTOR: I'm sorry. MADGE: Lily and Cyril's father, my husband, is dead and they don't know yet, because if I tell them now, then Christmas will always be what took their father away from them, and no one should have to live like that. Of course, when the Christmas period is over, I shall. I don't know why I keep shouting at them. DOCTOR: Because every time you see them happy, you remember how sad they're going to be, and it breaks your heart. LILY [OC]: Mother, come and see! CYRIL: Mother! You've got to see this! DOCTOR: Because what's the point in them being happy now if they're going to be sad later. CYRIL [OC]: Mother. LILY [OC]: Mother, are you coming? DOCTOR: The answer is, of course, because they are going to be sad later. Now, we'd better get downstairs. I think they may have found the main sitting room. CYRIL [OC]: Mother! DOCTOR: I repaired it. [Main sitting room] (A massive Christmas tree with rotating aeroplane section and lots of other cool stuff.) DOCTOR: I know. (And a very large box.) CYRIL: Look at that present. It's for me. LILY: No, it says it's for all of us. CYRIL: I'm the youngest. I get to open it first. LILY: Doesn't say who it's from. Mother, who left this here? (The Doctor disappears.) MADGE: That man is quite ridiculous. You must stay away from him. LILY: I like him. CYRIL: I like him, too. LILY: And it's a nice tree, isn't it. CYRIL: It's the best tree in the world. MADGE: Yes. Yes, I suppose it is. CYRIL: Say it, Mother. Go on, please. Say the thing you always say. MADGE: This Christmas is going to be the best Christmas ever. (Cyril looks round his mother and sees the Present glowing. It seems to be whispering, too.) [Children's room] (Night time. Lily and Cyril are in their hammocks.) CYRIL: Lily? Lily, can you sleep? Lily! LILY: Shut up. CYRIL: What do you think that present is? We could just sneak down and have a look. LILY: Go to sleep. (He does. Madge is lying awake clutching the telegram when Lily sneaks out of the room. She hears noises and sees lights from the Doctor's wing of the house and goes to investigate. Then Cyril comes out of the room with a torch.) [Attic] (The Tardis fits neatly under the eaves. Moonlight is coming in through a heart-shaped hole in the roof and the Doctor is working on a gizmo.) LILY: You were lying about the panthers. DOCTOR: Famous last words. LILY: Why have you got a phone box in your room? DOCTOR: It's not a phone box, it's my wardrobe. I've just painted it to look like a phone box. LILY: Well, what are you doing? DOCTOR: Rewiring. LILY: Why would you rewire a wardrobe? DOCTOR: Have you seen the way I dress? LILY: Who are you? Really, who are you? (A small alarm beeps.) DOCTOR: Your brother, where is he? (Cyril is downstairs, untying the big present. He opens the box and light streams out, along with some snowflakes. He crawls inside and looks out on a snow covered forest. The box is suspended off the ground. He backs out into the main sitting room as Lily looks into their room.) LILY: Still in bed, asleep. DOCTOR: Okay. Faulty, then. (Cyril summons up his courage and goes into what is definitely Not Narnia because he didn't get there through the back of a wardrobe. A nearby tree grows some big glass baubles. He picks one, and it gets bigger in his hand. He drops it and it grows again, then begins to crack. Cyril runs back through the box. The Doctor's alarm beeps again.) DOCTOR: You're sure he's still in bed? (Cyril returns to his winter wonderland. Whatever was in the bauble has hatched and gone, leaving tracks.) [Children's room] LILY: See? DOCTOR: Shush. (The Doctor whips the cover off Cyril's hammock.) DOCTOR: Oh, he's good. The old bear and duvet, eh? Classic. [Main sitting room] (They arrive just in time to see Cyril's hand grab his torch and disappear inside the box.) DOCTOR: Cyril! LILY: What's happening? I don't (The Doctor dives into the box.) LILY: What is that? DOCTOR: With me. Quickly, come on. [Not Narnia] (The Doctor helps Lily out the other side.) DOCTOR: That's it. In you come. Brr, bit cold. Never mind. Cyril! Cyril! (He finds the hatched bauble.) LILY: Where are we? DOCTOR: In a forest, in a box, in a sitting room. Pay attention. He's about twenty minutes ahead. LILY: But we just saw him. DOCTOR: Time moves differently across the dimensional planes. What do they teach you in schools these days? LILY: But I don't understand where we are. DOCTOR: We've gone through a dimensional portal thingy. LILY: Well, what's that supposed to be? Where did it come from? DOCTOR: It was a present, and it wasn't supposed to be opened till Christmas Day. Honestly, who opens their Christmas presents early? Okay. Shut up. Everyone. (The forest whispers. Further ahead, the tracks Cyril is following are getting larger and larger.) LILY: I don't understand. Is this place real, or is it fairyland? DOCTOR: Fairyland? Oh, grow up, Lily. Fairyland looks completely different. Now, these are Cyril's footprints, and these are the ones he was following. Notice anything? LILY: The other footprints are getting bigger. DOCTOR: Yes. Whatever your brother's following, it's growing. LILY: Well, we have to get after him. (Lily runs forward, brushing against a tree and knocking some of its snow off. It grows baubles.) DOCTOR: It's okay, you're fine. Don't worry. LILY: Is that tree alive? DOCTOR: Of course it's alive. It's a tree. LILY: But is it dangerous? DOCTOR: Every rose has its thorns. LILY: They're like Christmas tree decorations. DOCTOR: Yeah. Naturally occurring Christmas trees. How cool is that? LILY: I don't understand. DOCTOR: It's a big universe. Everything happens somewhere. Call it a coincidence. Call it an idea echoing among the stars. Personally, I call it a brilliant idea for a Christmas trip. Or it should've been. Do you know the difference between wind and trees talking to each other? LILY: What? DOCTOR: No wind. I've been here many times, but I've never heard the trees so active. Something's wrong. What are you doing? What are you up to? (The Doctor looks at a bauble and his reflection turns into the image of a wooden man.) DOCTOR: I'm sorry, Lily, I really am, but there is something very wrong in this forest, and your brother's right in the middle of it. [Main sitting room] MADGE: Lily and Cyril Arwell, where are you? (Madge investigates the open box.) [Not Narnia] (Cyril has arrived at steps up to a door in a stone tower with a glass dome roof. Madge has put on a coat, got a torch and followed her children through the box. Cyril goes inside the tower and closes the door behind him. There are no floors, just a staircase around the walls, and he can see all the way to the top. There is also a wooden King sitting on a throne. Cyril starts to walk up the stairs. The wooden King blinks and turns his head.) LILY: Why would you bring us to this place? DOCTOR: It was supposed to be a treat. This is one of the safest planets I know. There's never anything dangerous here. (The ground shakes.) DOCTOR: There are sentences I should just keep away from. (Cyril looks out of a window to see a search light sweeping the forest. Whatever is making the ground shake is close to Madge. The metal foot of something stomps down, knocking her over.) DROXIL [OC]: This tree farm is private property. You are trespassing. (Armed and armoured figures come out of the foot. One of the soiled yellow Stormtroopers scans her.) VEN GARR: Unarmed, sir. DROXIL: What the hell are you doing here? VEN GARR: No, wait, armed! No, unarmed. Sorry, sir. She's wearing wool, sir. The natural fabrics, they interfere with the DROXIL: Please say we can tell the difference between wool and side arms. VEN GARR: We can tell the difference, sir. DROXIL: Can we? VEN GARR: Not always, sir, no. DROXIL: What are you doing here? Do you understand what is about to happen in this forest? MADGE: I was just (The lady Stormtrooper scans Madge.) BILLIS: Sir, I think she's a time traveller. DROXIL: We're sure it's not her cardigan? MADGE: Who are you? It was Christmas. (Madge starts crying. In the tower, Cyril goes through an open door. It closes behind him. Meanwhile, on his trail -) LILY: It's just irresponsible. How can you do this to my brother? DOCTOR: It was meant to be a supervised trip. LILY: To the future? DOCTOR: Future, yes. LILY: The future on a different planet. DOCTOR: Oh yes, very different. LILY: Where Christmas trees happen. DOCTOR: Well, sort of Christmas trees. They're not really Christmas trees. (Cyril has reached the top of the tower, where a wooden Queen is standing behind a throne, holding a circlet to place on the sitter's head. She blinks and looks at Cyril. The Doctor and Lily arrive at the tower.) DOCTOR: Oh, look at that! LILY: What, are we going in? DOCTOR: Cyril did. [Tower] DOCTOR: Interesting. LILY: What's that? Is that a statue? What is it? It's like a King. DOCTOR: A King, possibly, but not a statue. Look at the floor. This is what Cyril was following. The growing thing. Hatched from a bauble on a tree. Grew to this size in less than an hour, I'd say. Impressive. And so is this building. Yes. It's grown, see. This building, it isn't a building. It's a group of trees grown in the shape of a building. Disguised as a building. Ooo, clever. I love. Clever, clever old forest. So, a forest grows a building. Why would it do that, Lily? LILY: I don't know. DOCTOR: Why is there honey in a honey trap? LILY: Because it's a trap? DOCTOR: Exactly. Thing about people, we can never resist a door. LILY: So this is a trap. What, we've just walked straight into a trap? DOCTOR: A people trap. Question is, why does a forest need people? LILY: We should go. We have to get out of here. DOCTOR: Except? LILY: Except Cyril was here. (Lily takes the Doctor's offered hand.) DOCTOR: So let's find Cyril. [Not Narnia] DROXIL: Ma'am, please stop crying. I can't interrogate you while you're crying. This is a military engagement! There's no crying in military engagements. Corporal Ven Garr, are you VEN GARR: I'm fine, sir. DROXIL: What is wrong with you? VEN GARR: I have mother issues, sir. It's all on file. It won't affect the performance of my duties. BILLIS: Er, sir. Er, with regret, I'm going to have to lower my gun. DROXIL: Why? BILLIS: She is a crying, unarmed female civilian. I'm thinking of the visual. DROXIL: Nobody's looking. BILLIS: Doesn't mean there's no visual. DROXIL: That's exactly what nobody's looking means. It means there's no visual. VEN GARR: I'm sorry, sir. It's under control. Do you want me to shoot her, sir? BILLIS: Oh, this visual's deteriorating, sir. DROXIL: Shut up. (Billis puts down her gun.) DROXIL: What are you doing? BILLIS: I am respecting her as a woman, sir. DROXIL: Okay, we're putting our guns on the ground. Okay? Happy now? We're stepping away from our guns. Now can we interrogate you? We're from Androzani Major. The year is 5345, and we mean you no harm. Where are you from? MADGE: England, 1941. And there's a war on. (Madge aims a revolver at the Stormtroopers.) MADGE: Crying's ever so useful, isn't it? DROXIL: If you say so. But there's nothing you could say that would convince me you'd ever use that gun. MADGE: Oh really? Well, I'm looking for my children. [Tower stairs] DOCTOR: Cyril? (They come to the door.) [Dome] DOCTOR [OC]: Cyril, can you hear me? (The wooden Queen has moved to put the glowing circlet on Cyril's head. He dodges away.) DOCTOR [OC]: Cyril? Cyril, can you hear me? [Tower stairs] DOCTOR: Oh, of course. It's wood. It's rubbish at wood. LILY: It doesn't look like wood. DOCTOR: It's disguised wood. Have you been listening? LILY: How can trees grow into a building? DOCTOR: Never underestimate a tree, Lily. I met the Forest of Cheem once. She fancied me. (The Queen backs Cyril onto the throne. Lily looks out of a window.) LILY: Look at that. DOCTOR: Busy, actually. Yes, I know, it's wood. Get over it. LILY: But there are stars. There are stars coming out. DOCTOR: Yes, that does happen, Lily. Cyril! LILY: Yes, but out of the trees. What is that? DOCTOR: Life force. Pure life force, just singing. LILY: Beautiful. Doesn't it make you want to cry? DOCTOR: Crying when you're happy. Good for you. That's so human. (A whoosh and a light from behind the door.) LILY: What's that? What is it? Tell me what? DOCTOR: Cyril, can you hear me? (The Queen puts the circlet on Cyril's head. Downstairs, the King rises from his throne and starts up the stairs.) LILY: Oh my god. Oh my god. [Platform control] (A small compartment at the top of the three legged version of a Star Wars Episode V AT-AT. Billis is tying Droxil to a suspension strut. Ven Garr has already been secured.) MADGE: What is all this? Is it some kind of cockpit? My husband's a pilot. BILLIS: It drives the platform. MADGE: I don't understand! How did I get here? BILLIS: You tell us, ma'am. MADGE: I'm looking for my children. VEN GARR: There is nobody else in this forest. There can't be. BILLIS: Well, she found her way in. Maybe her kids did, too. DROXIL: Then God help them. MADGE: Why do you say that? BILLIS: We can do a scan for life forms. We can detect people, even though they're far away. MADGE: Like RDF, Radar. BILLIS: Yeah. MADGE: Then please stop patronising me and get on with it. BILLIS: Yes, ma'am. MADGE: Why did you say God help my children? DROXIL: This forest is about to be harvested. MADGE: Harvested? DROXIL: Androzani trees. Greatest fuel source ever. The entire area is being melted down for battery fluid. MADGE: Melted down? How do you melt a forest? DROXIL: Acid rain. The satellites are in position. Anyone still out there in five minutes is going to burn. [Tower stairs] LILY: Caretaker, it's coming. Open it! DOCTOR: I'm trying! LILY: Open it! DOCTOR: I'm trying. (The door opens.) DOCTOR: That wasn't me. LILY: It doesn't matter. [Dome] LILY: What's wrong with him, Caretaker? Is he dead? DOCTOR: It's okay. He's just unconscious. So what are you? Not a King, a Queen! The Queen Bee of the forest. LILY: Caretaker, look. DOCTOR: It's like LILY: Like what? DOCTOR: Like the life force is leaving the forest. (The wooden King enters.) LILY: What are they doing? Stop him! (The Doctor waves his sonic screwdriver around.) DOCTOR: Annoying aliens made of wood! It was always going to happen, you know. Er, it's okay. I think they just want to talk to us. CYRIL: They're scared. Can't you hear them? The trees are screaming. Can't you hear? DOCTOR: No, but you can. You're connected to them. [Platform control] BILLIS: Okay, picking up life signs about half a mile away. MADGE: Can we go to them? Can we move this thing? BILLIS: I'm not trained, ma'am. Those two are. MADGE: I can't trust them. BILLIS: I can't drive the platform, ma'am. MADGE: It looks a little like a plane. My husband flies a plane. He took me up once. BILLIS: It takes years of training. Scanning for an audio connection. We might be able to hear them. COMPUTER: Acid rain alert. Five minute warning. Prepare for beam out. BILLIS: I'm so sorry. You have to find a way out. COMPUTER: Evacuate. BILLIS: Acid fall is coming. You won't last two minutes. COMPUTER: Evacuate. MADGE: No, no, please wait. No, what am I to do? COMPUTER: Evacuate. (Billis, Droxil and Ven Garr are beamed out.) COMPUTER: Evacuate. MADGE: Where have you gone? COMPUTER: Acid fall in five minutes. Unauthorised personnel will be incinerated. (The audio scan finally picks up voices.) LILY [OC]: Why have the stars left the trees? CYRIL [OC]: I think they're DOCTOR [OC]: Just concentrate. What are they [Dome] DOCTOR: Doing? CYRIL: Evacuating. They're evacuating. DOCTOR: Why? CYRIL: They're frightened of the rain. The rain that burns. [Platform control] LILY [OC]: Caretaker, please explain. I'm frightened. DOCTOR [OC]: Those stars. [Dome] DOCTOR: They're pure life force. Souls, if you like. And they're trying to escape because they think their home is going to burn. LILY: Why can't they just float up into the sky? DOCTOR: They need to travel inside a living thing. Inside Cyril. You see, this, it's not a crown, it's a relay. They're turning your brother into a lifeboat. That's what this place is for, then. It's an escape plan, is that it? Don't you harm him. Do not touch that child! (The wooden Queen puts her hand on Cyril's shoulder, and he speaks with her voice.) CYRIL/QUEEN: Your coming was foretold. LILY: Oh my God, what is that? Why did he sound like that? DOCTOR: Oh, hello. Are we lip synching now? CYRIL/QUEEN: We had faith. Your coming was foretold. DOCTOR: There's no such thing as foretelling. Trust a time traveller. CYRIL/QUEEN: We waited, and you came. DOCTOR: So, you've got an escape plan. Why aren't you escaping? CYRIL/QUEEN: The child is weak. DOCTOR: You mean he's a child. CYRIL/QUEEN: No, he is weak. The forest cannot live in him. But there are others. DOCTOR: There certainly are. And, the good thing is I look great in a hat. So, let's get this thing off, eh? CYRIL/QUEEN: You are also weak. DOCTOR: I'm really not. Let's save a forest, eh, Cyril? CYRIL/QUEEN: You are not the one. You are weak. DOCTOR: I'm really not. (The Doctor takes the circlet from Cyril's head. It hurts him.) DOCTOR: Argh! LILY: Let go! Just let go! Drop it! Let it go! Please, just drop it. DOCTOR: I can't! (Lily snatches it from him. It doesn't hurt her at all.) LILY: Oh, it's funny, isn't it. It's sort of tingly. DOCTOR: Tingly? (The Queen touches Lily.) LILY/QUEEN: She is strong, but she is young. (Lily pulls away and drops the circlet.) DOCTOR: She's strong, I'm weak. Interesting. CYRIL: Mummy? LILY: Cyril, it's all right. It's me. Mummy isn't here but, we're going home to her right now, aren't we, Caretaker? (A thunder storm begins.) DOCTOR: No. I don't think we are. The rain that burns. Acid rain. [Platform control] DOCTOR [OC]: We have to get out of this forest. We're in terrible danger. This tower won't protect us for long. CYRIL [OC]: Where's Mummy? LILY [OC]: She's coming. You know she's coming, because [Dome] LILY: Because she always comes, doesn't she. DOCTOR: Cyril. The way we came here. That door won't stay open for ever. Now, I'm not even sure if I can get us through the forest safely, but if we're going to have any chance at all, we have to go now. CYRIL: No. We wait for Mummy. Mummy always comes. DOCTOR: Not this time, Cyril. I'm sorry, but not this time. (Here comes the platform, clomping through the forest and swaying a bit too much.) LILY: What's that? DOCTOR: It's an Androzani Harvester, but LILY: You recognise that thing? DOCTOR: More to the point, I think I recognise the driving. Ha ha! Madge has entered the forest! [Platform control] DOCTOR [OC]: Come on, Madge. [Dome] DOCTOR: You can do it. You go, girl. [Platform control] MADGE: Oh, shut up, you ridiculous oaf! DOCTOR [OC]: Come on. This way, girl. You can do it, you can do it! Excellent driving! Hello! MADGE: Caretaker? DOCTOR [OC]: Yes? MADGE: You're fired! [Dome] (But just before she reaches the window, the harvester topples sideways.) DOCTOR: It's okay, she's fine. Don't worry. Stay here. Just stay here. [Tower] DOCTOR: Madge! Madge! (Madge runs in with burn holes in her coat.) DOCTOR: You okay? MADGE: Stay inside. The rain is frightful. Lily? Cyril? [Dome] MADGE: Cyril. CYRIL: Mum! MADGE: Lily. Oh, what are you doing? How dare you leave the house? Cyril, what have I told you about opening your presents early? CYRIL: Sorry, mummy. MADGE: Something like this was bound to happen. What are those? LILY: Stay away from it. You have to stay back. MADGE: That's beautiful, isn't it? CYRIL: Mummy? MADGE: See how it shines. (The Queen puts the coronet on Madge.) [Tower] (The Doctor scans the remains of the platform.) DOCTOR: Nice one, Madge. A complete write off. (The stars from the forest are converging on the Tower room.) [Dome] LILY: The stars are going inside her. She's taking the whole forest. MADGE: Oh, this is marvellous. Oh, this is really quite wonderful. (Then it ends.) DOCTOR: Madge? Are you all right? Talk to me. Madge, can you hear me? MADGE: Yes, I can hear you. I'm perfectly fine, thank you. DOCTOR: Fine? You've got a whole world inside your head. MADGE: I know! It's funny, isn't it? One can't imagine being a forest, then suddenly one can. How remarkable. DOCTOR: You're okay. She's okay. MADGE/QUEEN: She is strong. MADGE: Ooo. That wasn't me. This is all really rather clever, isn't it? DOCTOR: She's strong. She's strong. Ooo, stupid me. Stupid old Doctor. Do you get it, Cyril? CYRIL: No. DOCTOR: Lily, you do, don't you? LILY: No. DOCTOR: Course you do. Think about it. Weak and strong. It's a translation. Translated from the base code of nature itself. You and I, Cyril, we're weak. But she's female. More than female, she's mum. How else does life ever travel? The Mother ship. (The dome detaches itself from the tower and rises into the air.) LILY: What's happening? DOCTOR: No idea. Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it's a plan. (The dome zooms off into space and down a familiar corridor.) DOCTOR: This is amazing. CYRIL: Where are we? DOCTOR: Technically, we're not anywhere. We've flown into the Time Vortex. You've got what you wanted. Those idiots down there can burn your old home and you'll be safe out here. But these people helped you, and they're in my protection. Now help them. How do we get home? MADGE/QUEEN: Think. DOCTOR: Sorry? What? MADGE/QUEEN: She must only think. DOCTOR: Madge, did you hear that? You said it, but did you hear it? You've got to think. MADGE: Think what? DOCTOR: Think of home. Just picture it, feel it! You have to really feel it. Can you do that? Your mind is controlling this vessel. You can fly us all back for Christmas. MADGE: My head is full of trees, Caretaker. Can't you fly us home? DOCTOR: I don't have a home to think of. And between you and me, I'm older than I look and I can't feel the way you do. Not any more. And you really need to feel it, Madge. Everything about home that you miss until you can't bear it. Until you almost burst. MADGE: Till it hurts. Is that what you mean, Caretaker? Till it hurts. DOCTOR: Yes. Yes. (Madge takes the telegram from her coat pocket.) MADGE: Well then, home in time for Christmas! (Not the smoothest ride.) LILY: What's happening? Where are we going? DOCTOR: Show them! Show them! Ha! The Time Vortex. Your mother is flying a forest through the Time Vortex. Be a little impressed. What are you going home for? What's pulling you there? Please, try. Please, think. (An image of Reg holding a baby, of him in his uniform waving goodbye.) MADGE: Reg! CYRIL: Daddy! MADGE: My Reg! (Playing in the garden, birthdays.) DOCTOR: That's it, focus on Reg. Be careful, but focus on him. MADGE: Oh, I don't know. DOCTOR: How did you meet? You and Reg. Tell me how you met. MADGE: He followed me home. I worked in the dairy. He always used to follow me home. LILY: Look at Father. He looks so young. MADGE: He said he'd keep on following me till I married him. Didn't like to make a scene. DOCTOR: Just stay focused. Think of home. This thing, it works psychically. It'll find a signal and lock on. (The bomber appears.) MADGE: No. No, please. Don't show me that. Please don't show me that! CYRIL: Is that Daddy's plane? MADGE: Please, I don't want to see that! Please! (Smoke is pouring from the bomber as it goes down.) DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no, Madge. Don't break the signal now. We can't break it now. I'm sorry, Madge. MADGE: Not the night he died. I don't want to see him die! LILY: What do you mean, the night he died? MADGE: Oh please don't make me watch him die! CYRIL: Mummy? Is Daddy dead? Mummy! [Bomber] CO-PILOT: Sir, Anderson's in a bad way. Where are we? REG: I don't know. Somewhere over the Channel. CO-PILOT: What do I tell Anderson? REG: Tell him. Tell him, tell him we're going home for Christmas. CO-PILOT: Yes, sir. REG: I'm sorry, my love. (A bright light fills the cockpit.) MADGE [OC]: Goodbye, my love. Goodbye! [Dome] (The dome has landed with a thump somewhere. The Doctor wafts the smoke away from the figures of Madge, Lily and Cyril lying on the floor. The circlet has fallen off Madge's head.) DOCTOR: Cyril, Lily, are you all right? MADGE: Are they dead? DOCTOR: No, they're just wood now. They've been emptied. The forest has gone from your head too, hasn't it. MADGE: But where is it now? DOCTOR: The life force of the whole forest has transmuted itself into a sub-etheric waveband of light, which can exist as a (He is stopped by a Look.) DOCTOR: The souls of the trees are out among the stars, and they're shining, very happy. And you got them there. Well done, Madge. MADGE: And where are we? DOCTOR: Home! Christmas morning. (They are outside Uncle Digby's house.) DOCTOR: We've taken a bit of a short cut. Haven't you always wanted to do that? LILY: Mother? MADGE: Oh, look at you. You've been so brave, you. Look, we're home again, see? LILY: What did you mean, watch him die? Where's Father? Where is he? Where's Daddy? Why are you holding a telegram? Well, what does it say? CYRIL: Please, just tell us. LILY: Tell us! DOCTOR: I imagine you'd prefer to be alone. MADGE: I don't believe anyone would prefer that. Stay close, Caretaker. DOCTOR: I'll be right outside. (The Doctor leaves.) MADGE: Lily, Cyril. [Outside Uncle Digby's house] MADGE [OC]: A few nights ago, your father, who as you know, was the best of men and the bravest of pilots [Dome] MADGE: Was flying home for Christmas. His plane was badly damaged, and his instruments failed him. Unfortunately, he was flying on a night where there was no moon, and because it was very cloudy, there were no stars to. There were no stars to light his way. CYRIL: Did he get lost? MADGE: Yes, Cyril. He got so very lost. DOCTOR: Er, sorry to interrupt. You might want to pop out here for a moment. MADGE: Caretaker, I'm talking to my children. DOCTOR: I know, and before you go any further, I think you'd better come and look. [Lawn] (More like a field, a bit rough and overgrown.) DOCTOR: No stars to light the way, Madge? There was one. [Bomber] DOCTOR [OC]: There was you. CO-PILOT: What is it? REG: I don't know, but it's all we've got. We can follow it. (And he does, through the Time Vortex.) [Lawn] DOCTOR: Madge Arwell, who flew a whole forest though the Time Vortex, plus one husband. (The Bomber has landed safely.) DOCTOR: He did it again, Madge. He followed you home. Look what you can do, Mother Christmas. REG: Madge, what am I doing here? MADGE: It's Christmas Day, my love! Where else would you be? REG: Christmas Day? How? MADGE: We took a short cut. (Big family reunion.) LILY + CYRIL: Daddy! DOCTOR: Happy crying. Humany wumany. [Attic] (Down in the main sitting room, the happy family are doing a jigsaw in front of a roaring fire. Later, Madge comes into the attic and sees the Tardis. The Doctor comes out of it.) DOCTOR: Ah. MADGE: Of course. It's you, isn't it? My spaceman angel, with his head on backwards. DOCTOR: How do I look the right way round? MADGE: Funnier. DOCTOR: Okay. MADGE: So you came back. DOCTOR: Well, you were there for me when I had a bad day. Always like to return a favour. Got a bit glitchy in the middle there, but it sort of worked out in the end. Story of my life. MADGE: Thank you. DOCTOR: Oh, you did it all yourself, Madge Arwell. But thanks for thanking me. MADGE: Now, the last time I saw you, I went back the next day, but the police box had gone. DOCTOR: Yeah. You want to see how it's done? MADGE: No. I want you to stay for Christmas, please. DOCTOR: Ah, well, you see, things to do, people to see. MADGE: Of course. Yes. Family of your own. DOCTOR: Well, no, actually. MADGE: Oh. Yes, yes, you said no family. But there must be people who love you. Friends. DOCTOR: No. Well, yes, but. It's a long story. But they all think I'm dead. Never mind. Anyway, watch my box do its thing. It's really cool. You'll love it. MADGE: No. No one should be alone at Christmas. DOCTOR: I'm fine. I don't mind. I'm really very good at being MADGE: I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about your friends. You can't let them think that you're dead. Not at Christmas. DOCTOR: It's complicated. Very complicated. It's far too complicated to explain right now. MADGE: You must tell them. At once. Off you go. DOCTOR: Yes, Mum. I'll think about it. (He kisses her on the cheek.) DOCTOR: Now, eyes on the box. MADGE: Oh, Caretaker? What if I require you again? DOCTOR: Make a wish. (He goes into the Tardis and it dematerialises as Reg comes in.) REG: What the hell was that? MADGE: That was just the Caretaker returning to the Time Vortex. It's a lovely place. I've been there myself. Shall we go downstairs? [Front door] (The Doctor knocks on a blue suburban front door with a yale lock.) AMY [OC]: Argh! If that is more carol singers, I have a water pistol! You don't want to be all wet on a night like this. (She opens the door and squirts the Doctor.) DOCTOR: Not absolutely sure how long AMY: Two years? (Squirt, squirt, squirt.) DOCTOR: Okay. Fair point. AMY: So, you're not dead. DOCTOR: And a happy New Year! AMY: River told us. DOCTOR: Well, of course she did. AMY: She's a good girl. Well? I'm not going to hug first. DOCTOR: Nor am I. (They spend a few moments not looking at each other before laughing and hugging.) AMY: Mister Pond! Guess who's coming for dinner? RORY: Whoa. Not dead, then. AMY: We've done that. RORY: Oh. AMY: We're about to have Christmas dinner. Joining us? DOCTOR: If it's no trouble. RORY: There's a place set for you. DOCTOR: But you didn't know I was coming. Why would you set me a place? AMY: Oh, because we always do. It's Christmas, you moron. RORY: Come on. (Amy and Rory go inside. The Doctor hesitates, then feels his face. It is wet with happy tears.) (A shower of snowflakes with teeth heads towards Earth.) [Park] (England, 1842. A large hedged area in a suburb, with one big tree and lots of snow on the ground. The other children throw snowballs whilst a lone boy builds a snowman.) WOMAN: Walter, don't you want to go and play with the other boys and girls? They're very nice. WALTER: I don't need anyone else. (A man comes up to her.) WOMAN: He never talks to anyone. He's so alone. It's not right. It's not healthy. (The man and woman walk back inside a large building.) WALTER: I don't want to talk to them. They're silly. SNOWMAN: They're silly. Don't talk to them. They're silly. (Walter runs away from the snowman.) SNOWMAN: Don't need anyone else. I can help you. WALTER: How? [Institute] (50 years later. The young boy is now a sour old man watching men scraping bits of snow off snowmen with nasty toothy grins and into Kilner clip-top jars. He transports the jars back to the GI Institute and goes into a laboratory. There is a large globe on legs three steps up on a dais, which also contains some snow. Electricity crackles around the place.) SIMEON: The last of the arrivals have been sampled. SNOWMAN: The great swarm is approaching. As humanity celebrates, so shall it end. Will the final piece be ready? SIMEON: It's in hand. I serve you in this, as in everything else. (Walter Simeon spoons the snow from the jars into the globe.) SNOWMAN: And do you keep my secrets, those men who helped us tonight? SIMEON: It won't be a problem. I promised to feed them. [Courtyard] (Simeon stands on a balcony overlooking the yard full of men.) WORKER: Beg pardon, Doctor Simeon. It's been a long day. I don't see any food here. SIMEON: I do. (Toothy snowmen rear up from the ground.)  WORKER: What is this? SIMEON: I said I'd feed you. I didn't say who to. [Rose & Crown] (A familiar looking young woman gathers empty tankards from the tables and takes the tray outside. There is a toothy snowman in the yard between the inn and the wash house. A man walks past her.) CLARA: Did you make this snowman? DOCTOR: No. CLARA: Well, who did? Because it wasn't there a second ago. It just appeared, from nowhere. (The Doctor turns and comes back to examine it.) DOCTOR: Maybe it's snow that fell before. Maybe it remembers how to make snowmen. CLARA: What, snow that can remember? That's silly. DOCTOR: What's wrong with silly? CLARA: Nothing. Still talking to you, ain't I? DOCTOR: What's your name? CLARA: Clara. DOCTOR: Nice name. Clara. You should definitely keep it. Goodbye! (Clara follows him around the corner.) CLARA: Oi! Where are you going? I thought we was just getting acquainted. Those were the days. (The Doctor leaves. Clara starts to return to the inn, then changes her mind and runs after his brougham carriage. It's not a hansom because the driver is in front, not behind.) [Carriage] VASTRA [OC]: How refreshing to see you taking an interest again. Was she nice? DOCTOR: I just spoke to her. (This carriage has a telephonic communications device fitted.) VASTRA [OC]: And made your usual impact, no doubt. DOCTOR: No, no impact at all. Those days are over. VASTRA [OC]: You can't help yourself. [Vastra's study] VASTRA: It's the same story every time. And it always begins with the same two words. [Carriage] DOCTOR: She'll never be able to find me again. She doesn't even have the name. Doctor. What two words? (Clara's head appears through the hatch in the roof.) CLARA: Doctor? Doctor who? [Outside Darkover House] (A carriage drops off a middle aged man. He is greeted at the door by a servant.) ALICE: Good evening, sir. LATIMER: Pond's frozen over. Hasn't frozen since the night SIMEON: Since the night your children's governess died, a year ago. ALICE: Doctor Simeon, sir. He insisted on waiting. LATIMER: She drowned in this very pond. SIMEON: Which then froze. You didn't find her till a month later, when the ice finally melted. LATIMER: I recall the incident. It is the sort of thing one remembers. SIMEON: The ice remembers too. LATIMER: Who are you? What do you want here? (Simeon gives him a business card - The Great Intelligence Institute. Memories of the Abominable Snowmen, everyone?) SIMEON: The pond is yours, Captain Latimer, but what is growing inside it, when it is ready, is ours. Good evening. [Alleyway] (A shapely young woman in leather trousers stands in Simeon's path.) JENNY: Well, Doctor Simeon, you're out very late tonight. VASTRA: Almost makes you wonder what you've been up to. But then, I have often wondered about the activities of Doctor Simeon and his exceptionally secretive Institute. SIMEON: Well, I am honoured this evening. The veiled detective and her fatuous accomplice. JENNY: At your service. SIMEON: You realise Doctor Doyle is almost certainly basing his fantastical tales on your own exploits? With a few choice alterations, of course. I doubt the readers of The Strand magazine would accept that the great detective is, in reality a woman. (Simeon lifts Vastra's veil to reveal that she is a Silurian.) SIMEON: And her suspiciously intimate companion VASTRA: I resent your implication of impropriety. We are married. JENNY: More than can be said for you, eh, dear? VASTRA: Now then. This snow is interesting, don't you think? The ice crystals seem to have a low level telepathic field. Almost as if it can detect and respond to the thoughts and memories of the people around it. Memory snow. Snow that learns. SIMEON: How fascinating. VASTRA: I hope it's listening to the right people. It could be a terrible weapon in the wrong hands, don't you think? SIMEON: I think winter is coming. Such a winter as this world has never known. The last winter of humankind. Do you know why I'm telling you all this? VASTRA: I am intrigued. SIMEON: Because there's not a single thing you can do to stop it. VASTRA: Perhaps I can't, but I know a man who can. SIMEON: I look forward to meeting him. (Simeon leaves.)  JENNY: Do you mean the Doctor? He won't help us. He never helps any more, you know that. VASTRA: Yes, my dear, I do. So pray for a miracle, because I think we are going to need him. [Outside the Institute] (Simeon is being watched by a manservant with electronic binoculars. Nearby, the Doctor's carriage is rocking.) STRAX: They've taken samples from snowmen all over London. What do you suppose they're doing in there? (The manservant is a Sontaran.) DOCTOR: This snow is new. Possibly alien. When you find something brand new in the world, something you've never seen before, what's the next thing you look for? STRAX: A grenade. DOCTOR: A profit. That's Victorian values for you. STRAX: I suggest a full frontal assault with automated laser monkeys, scalpel mines and acid. DOCTOR: Why? STRAX: Couldn't we at least investigate? DOCTOR: It's none of our business. STRAX: Sir, permission to express my opposition to your current apathy? DOCTOR: Permission granted. STRAX: Sir, I am opposed to your current apathy. CLARA [OC]: Let me out! DOCTOR: Thank you, Strax. And if ever I'm in need of advice from a psychotic potato dwarf, you'll certainly be the first to know. STRAX: But if the snow is new and alien, shouldn't we be making some attempt to destroy it? Be reasonable. CLARA [OC] Let me out! DOCTOR: It is not our problem. Over a thousand years of saving the universe, Strax, you know the one thing I learned? The universe doesn't care. CLARA [OC]: In this cab. Oi, Doctor! Let me out! Are you listening to me? DOCTOR: Now, we have a problem of our own to worry about. CLARA [OC]: Let me out! [Carriage] CLARA: Oi! DOCTOR: Don't worry. No one's going to hurt you. CLARA: What is that thing? STRAX: Silence, boy! DOCTOR: That's Strax. And as you can see, he's easily confused. STRAX: Silence, girl. Sorry, lad. DOCTOR: Sontaran. Clone warrior race. Factory produced, whole legions at a time. Two genders is a bit further than he can count. STRAX: Sir, do not discuss my reproductive cycle in front of enemy girls. It's embarrassing. DOCTOR: Typical middle child of six million. CLARA: Who are you? DOCTOR: It doesn't matter because you're about to forget that you and I ever met. STRAX: We'll need the worm. STRAX: Sir. CLARA: You'll need the what? The worm? What worm? DOCTOR: Don't worry, it won't hurt, but one touch on your bare skin and you lose the last hour of your memory. (Strax returns.) DOCTOR: Where is it? STRAX: Where's what, sir? DOCTOR: I sent you to get the memory worm. STRAX: Did you? When? Who's he? What are we doing here? Look, it's been snowing! DOCTOR: You didn't use the gauntlets, did you? STRAX: Why would I need the gauntlets? Do you want me to get the memory worm? DOCTOR: You. [By the carriage] (A short time later, Strax is under the carriage.) DOCTOR: Well, can you see it? STRAX: I think I can hear it. (Clara giggles.) DOCTOR: Oi, don't try to run away. Stay where you are. CLARA: Why would I run? I know what's going to happen next and it's funny. DOCTOR: What's funny? CLARA: Well, your little pal, for a start. He's an ugly little fella, isn't he? DOCTOR: Maybe. He gave his life for a friend of mine once. CLARA: Then how come he's alive? DOCTOR: Another friend of mine brought him back. I'm not sure all his brains made the return trip! CLARA: Neither am I. STRAX: I can see it. DOCTOR: Ooo! Can you reach it? Have you got it? STRAX: Got what, sir? CLARA: Because these are the gauntlets, aren't they? STRAX: Sir, emergency! I think I've been run over by a cab. (The Doctor uses the gauntlets to get hold of a large white worm.) DOCTOR: There you go. One touch and you lose about an hour of your memory. Let it bite you and you could lose decades. (He puts it into a jar.) DOCTOR: And you're still not trying to run. CLARA: I don't understand how the snowman built itself. I'll run once you've explained. DOCTOR: Clara who? CLARA: Doctor who? DOCTOR: Oh, dangerous question. CLARA: What's wrong with dangerous? (A snowman appears.) DOCTOR: The snow emits a low level telepathic field. CLARA: My snowman. DOCTOR: It seems to reflect people's thoughts and memories and because it's unusual, somehow it carries a previous shape and CLARA: No, Doctor. My snowman. DOCTOR: Ah! Interesting. Well, were you thinking about it? CLARA: Yes. (Another one appears, then others.) DOCTOR: Well, stop. Clara, stop thinking about the snowmen! (The nearest snowman breaths snowflakes at them.) DOCTOR: Get down! Clara, listen to me. The snow's feeding off your thoughts. CLARA: I don't understand. DOCTOR: You're caught in their telepathic field. They're mirroring you. The more you think about the snowmen, the more they appear. Imagine them melting. Picture it. Picture them melted! (They get splashed with icy water. The snowmen are gone.) DOCTOR: Well, very good. Very, very good. Ha! CLARA: Is that going to happen again? DOCTOR: Well, if it does, you know what to do about it. CLARA: Unless I forget. (The Doctor puts Clara into the carriage.) DOCTOR: Don't come looking for me. Forget about me. You understand? CLARA: What about the snow? Shouldn't we be warning people? DOCTOR: Not my problem. Merry Christmas. Take her back where we found her. STRAX: Sir. (Strax drives on, but Clara has already got out of the carriage. She follows the Doctor to -) [Park] (Where he climbs over the railings and walks on, whistling Silent Night. Seeing that the coast is clear, he jumps up and grabs a ladder, which he pulls down. Clara hides behind a tree whilst the Doctor climbs the ladder and vanishes. There is a clunk, and the ladder rises up and disappears too. After a moment, Clara comes out and tries to jump for the ladder. She gets it on the second attempt.) CLARA: Come on. (She starts to climb. At the top of the ladder, she waves at passers-by, but they do not see or hear her.) CLARA: Hello. Invisible. (She is at the base of a spiral staircase. There are footsteps in the air above her.) CLARA: An invisible staircase. (The ladder retracts again as she climbs. Soon the rooftops are a long way below.) [Cloud] (The Tardis is here. Clara tentatively steps off the staircase into the cloud, goes over and knocks on the door. She hides around the corner when the door opens.) DOCTOR: Hello? Hello? Hello? (They both circle the Tardis then Clara heads back down the staircase. The Doctor finds her shawl.) [Institute] (More snow samples are fed to the globe.) SNOWMAN: Tonight the thaw. Tomorrow the snow will fall again, yet stronger. The drowned woman and the dreaming child will give us form at last. Tomorrow the snow will fall and so shall mankind. She is coming. [Rose & Crown] (Clara wakes in a bed. She dresses and leaves, carrying a Gladstone bag.) CLARA: Look at that. Must have thawed in the night. (The landlord follows her outside.) CHILCOTT: I'm begging you, Clara. I'm on my knees. CLARA: Elsie is back this afternoon, and I was only helping out. I've got my own work to get back to. CHILCOTT: What work? Why won't you ever tell us? CLARA: You'd never believe me. (In a carriage, Clara draws down the blinds and changes her clothes.) [Outside Darkover House] (Clara steps out of the carriage as a prim and proper young woman, to be met by the maid. She speaks very nicely now, too.) CLARA: Alice, how smart you look today. ALICE: The governess should enter by the back door, unless accompanied by the children. CLARA: And how are the children? Excited about tomorrow? ALICE: Francesca, same as ever. Digby says he missed you every day. Captain Latimer wants to see you. CLARA: Of course. Every day? ALICE: Twice on Saturdays. CLARA: That's better. [Study] CLARA: Captain Latimer. LATIMER: Ah. Miss Montague, you're back. CLARA: In time for Christmas. Apologies for my brief absence. Family illness is so unpredictable. You wanted to see me? LATIMER: Francesca has been having nightmares. CLARA: Young girls often do. LATIMER: Every night this week, she says. Won't tell me about them. CLARA: Perhaps if you asked her in the right way, there's no one she'd rather tell. LATIMER: Children are not really my area of expertise. CLARA: They are, however, your children. LATIMER: You have, if I may say, a remarkable amount of wisdom in these matters, for one so very pretty, Miss Montague. Young, I mean. CLARA: I'll see to the children now. [Garden] (A pair of children are playing chase.) FRANCESCA: Miss Montague! DIGBY: Miss Montague, you're back! CLARA: Ah, ah, ah! DIGBY: Good morning, Miss Montague. FRANCESCA: Good morning, Miss Montague. (Clara shakes their hands.) CLARA: Good morning, Francesca. Good morning, Digby. Christmas Eve is the most thrilling day, don't you think? Now, what have you two been up to while I've been away? DIGBY: I did seven drawings and we saw a dead cow. CLARA: Well, how exciting. DIGBY: Do your secret voice. CLARA: Allo, mates. (Sitting on a bench.) FRANCESCA: They're not exactly nightmares. Just dreams. DIGBY: About our old governess. The one who died. She's haunting Frannie from beyond the grave. CLARA: Haven't you spoken to your father about this? FRANCESCA: You can't talk about things like that to Daddy. CLARA: You could try. DIGBY: Do you want to see where she died? (They walk around to the front, and the formal pond.) DIGBY: She fell in there, and then it froze. She was in the ice for days and days. I hated her. She was cross all the time. In Frannie's dream she's still down there, waiting to come back. CLARA: Everything else has thawed, but this pond is still frozen. DOCTOR [memory]: The snow is feeding off your thoughts. The more you think about the snowmen, the more they appear. CLARA: Frannie, this is important. You dream about her. What do you dream? FRANCESCA: She's cross with me. She says I've been bad, and she's going to come out of the pond and punish me. CLARA: When? FRANCESCA: She said she'd come back for Christmas. Tonight. DIGBY: I think Frannie's gone mad, don't you? I think she needs a doctor. [Park] CLARA: Doctor! Doctor! MAN: What's she looking at? MAN 2: She's asking for a doctor. (A crowd gathers to watch Clara jumping in the air.) CLARA: Doctor! JENNY: Now then, that's enough noise. We don't want to attract attention, do we? CLARA: I'm looking for the Doctor. Do you know about him? The Doctor? JENNY: Doctor who? [Vastra's home] STRAX: Do not attempt to escape or you will be obliterated! May I take your coat? (Vastra is in the conservatory, sitting in a peacock chair and surrounded by exotic greenery.) JENNY: Sit. VASTRA: There are two refreshments in your world the colour of red wine. This is not red wine. JENNY: Madame Vastra will ask you questions. You will confine yourself to single word responses. One word only, do you understand? CLARA: Why? VASTRA: Truth is singular. Lies are words, words, words. You met the Doctor, didn't you? CLARA: Yes. VASTRA: And now you've come looking for him again. Why? JENNY: Take your time. One word only. CLARA: Curiosity. VASTRA: About? CLARA: Snow. VASTRA: And about him? CLARA: Yes. VASTRA: What do you want from him? CLARA: Help. VASTRA: Why? CLARA: Danger. VASTRA: Why would he help you? CLARA: Kindness. VASTRA: The Doctor is not kind. CLARA: No? VASTRA: No. The Doctor doesn't help people. Not anyone, not ever. He stands above this world and doesn't interfere in the affairs of its inhabitants. He is not your salvation, nor your protector. Do you understand what I am saying to you? CLARA: Words. VASTRA: He was different once, a long time ago. Kind, yes. A hero, even. A saver of worlds. But he suffered losses which hurt him. Now he prefers isolation to the possibility of pain's return. Kindly choose a word to indicate your understanding of this. CLARA: Man. VASTRA: We are the Doctor's friends. We assist him in his isolation but that does not mean we approve of it. So, a test for you. Give me a message for the Doctor. Tell him all about the snow and what fresh danger you believe it presents, and above all, explain why he should help you. But do it in one word. You're thinking it is impossible that such a word exists, or that you could even find it. Let's see if the gods are with you. [Tardis] (The telephone rings. A proper telephone with a curly cord. The Doctor answers it.) DOCTOR: Yes? What? I'm trying to read. VASTRA [OC]: Miss Clara and her concerns about the snow. [Vastra's home] VASTRA: I gave her the one word test. DOCTOR [OC]: That's always pointless. What did she say? Well? Well? VASTRA: Pond. [Tardis] VASTRA [OC]: Strax has already suggested where to start investigating. [Institute] "SNOWMAN; Danger. Danger." SIMEON: What's wrong? SNOWMAN: There is danger here. An intelligence. An intelligence beyond anything else in this time and place. SERVANT: Doctor Simeon, sir. There's someone demanding to see you. SIMEON: No callers, not in here, not ever. Did he leave his name? SERVANT: Sir, it's Sherlock Holmes. (A figure in deerstalker hat, cape, walking cane, and with a Meerschaum pipe, unlit.) DOCTOR: Oh, nice office. Big globey thing. Now, shut up, don't tell me! I see from your collar stud you have an apple tree and a wife with a limp. Am I right? SIMEON: No. DOCTOR: Do you have a wife? SIMEON: No. DOCTOR: Bit of a tree? Bit of a wife? Some apples? Come on, work with me here. SIMEON: I enjoy The Strand magazine as much as the next man, but I am perfectly aware that Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character. Get out! DOCTOR: Do you have a goldfish named Colin? SERVANT: No. DOCTOR: Thought not. Now, ooo. I see this is one of your business cards. It says so on the front. SIMEON: Who are you, and What are you doing here? DOCTOR: This. Wakey, wakey! (The Doctor hits the globe with his cane.) SIMEON: That is highly valuable equipment. You must step away now. SNOWMAN: We are the Intelligence. DOCTOR: Ooo. Talking snow. I love new things. SNOWMAN: You are not of this world. DOCTOR: Takes one to snow one. Right, let's see. Multi-nucleate crystalline organism with the ability to mimic and mirror what it finds. Looks like snow. Isn't snow. SIMEON: You must leave here now. DOCTOR: Shut up, I'm making deductions. It's very exciting. Now, what are you, eh? A flock of space crystals? A swarm? The snowmen are foot soldiers, mindless predators. But you, you're the clever one. You're Moriarty. So, you turn up on a planet, you generate a telepathic field to learn what you can, and when you've learnt enough, what do you do? You can't conquer the world using snowmen. Snowmen are rubbish in July. You'll have to be better than that. You'll have to evolve. (During this speech, the Doctor has sonicked the doors locked.) SERVANT [OC]: Sir, it appears to be stuck! SIMEON: What have you done? Have you locked the doors? DOCTOR: You need to translate yourself into something more, well, human. SIMEON: Kick it down. DOCTOR: To do that you'd need a perfect duplicate of human DNA in ice form. Where do you find that? SERVANT [OC]: Sir? SIMEON: Get in here, quickly! SERVANT [OC]: I've got a master key somewhere, sir. DOCTOR: Now, let's see. Most opened file, most viewed page. (The Doctor tosses Simeon's scrap book in the air, and it lands open at a newspaper cutting headed Tragedy at Darkover House.) DOCTOR: You know, you really should delete your history. Governess frozen in pond. Gotcha! SERVANT [OC]: Got it, sir! SIMEON: Get in here! Take him downstairs. (But the Doctor has already left by the French windows.) [Outside Darkover House] DOCTOR: Body frozen in a pond. The snow gets a good long look at a human being, like a full body scan. Everything they need to evolve. Pond. Good point, Clara. What are you doing here? (Strax is holding an alien weapon.) STRAX: Madame Vastra wondered if you were needing any grenades? DOCTOR: Grenades? STRAX: She might have said help. DOCTOR: Help for what? STRAX: Well, your investigation. DOCTOR: Investigation? Who says I'm investigating? Do you think I'm going to start investigating just because some bird smiles at me? Who do you think I am? STRAX: Sherlock Holmes. DOCTOR: Don't be clever, Strax. It doesn't suit you. STRAX: Sorry, sir. DOCTOR: I'm the clever one, you're the potato one. STRAX: Yes, sir. DOCTOR: Now go away. STRAX: Yes, Mister Holmes. DOCTOR: Oi! Shut up. You're not clever or funny and you've got tiny little legs! (He sees Clara watching from a window. She waves, and he waves back.) DOCTOR: Okay, just tell her you're leaving, you're not going up. Leaving. Not going up. (But his hand says five and gives the thumbs up.) DOCTOR: What was that about? Five minutes, where did that come from? You. (He leaves the pond, and the ice begins to crack.) [Outside the garden walls] (Strax, Jenny and Vastra watch a carriage pull up.) STRAX: It's the human male from the Institute. What's he doing here? Suggest we melt his brain using projectile acid fish, and then interrogate him. Other way round. [Bedroom] FRANCESCA: Am I going to have the nightmare tonight? CLARA: Definitely not. FRANCESCA: How do you know? CLARA: Because someone's coming to help. FRANCESCA: Who? CLARA: You wouldn't believe me if I told you. FRANCESCA: Is it one of your stories? Your definitely true ones? CLARA: Ha! All my stories are true. DIGBY: Like how you were born behind the clock face of Big Ben? CLARA: Accounting for my acute sense of time. FRANCESCA: And you invented fish. CLARA: Because I dislike swimming alone. DIGBY: So what's this one? CLARA: There's a man called the Doctor. He lives on a cloud in the sky, and all he does, all day every day, is to stop all the children in the world ever having bad dreams. FRANCESCA: I've been having bad dreams. CLARA: He's been on holiday. But I am confident he has now returned to work. And as a matter of fact, he's right here. (The candle flickers as the door opens.) CLARA: Aren't you, Doctor? (A woman made of ice enters. The children scream.) CLARA: Bloomin' hell! GOVERNESS: The children have been very naughty. CLARA: Get back. Now. Quickly. DIGBY: You're doing your other voice. CLARA: Yes love, did you notice? GOVERNESS: Naughty, naughty children. CLARA: Run! [Schoolroom] DIGBY: What do we do? CLARA: Frannie, Frannie, imagine her melting. FRANCESCA: What? CLARA: In your head. Melt her. FRANCESCA: I can't! GOVERNESS [OC]: I'm getting impatient! (She forces the adjoining door open.) GOVERNESS: You have been very naughty! DIGBY: What about the man? You said the man was here, the cloud man. CLARA: Well, he's not, is he? DIGBY: Where's the Doctor? CLARA: I don't know! PUNCH: Doctor? Doctor? Doctor who? (The Punch puppet aims the sonic screwdriver at the Ice Governess, who shatters.) DOCTOR: That's the way to do it. (Punch kisses the Doctor.) DOCTOR: Oi. Ow. (Outside the grounds, Simeon activates a device on the back of his carriage that sends snow into the air around the house.) FRANCESCA: Where did she go? Will she come back? DOCTOR: No, don't worry. She's currently draining through your carpet. New setting. Anti-freeze. And you're very welcome, by the way. CLARA: I'm very grateful. I knew you'd come. DOCTOR: No, you didn't, because I don't. Because this isn't the sort of thing I do any more. Next time you're in trouble, don't expect me to (The Doctor is distracted by his reflection in a mirror.) CLARA: What is it? What's wrong? DOCTOR: Sorry, it's just. Didn't know I'd put it on. (He straightens his bow tie, while ice forms on the windows.) DOCTOR: Old habits CLARA: It's cooler. DOCTOR: Yeah, it is, isn't it? It is very cool. Bow ties are cool. CLARA: No, the room. The room's getting colder. (A bulge forms in the carpet.) DIGBY: She's coming back! FRANCESCA: What's she going to do? Is she going to punish me? DOCTOR: Er, er, she's learnt not to melt. Of course, she's not really a governess, she's just a beast. She's going to eat you. Run. [Entrance hall] (They run down the stairs.) LATIMER: Children, what is the expla. Who the devil are you? What are you doing in my house? DOCTOR: It's okay. I am your governess' gentleman friend, and we've just been upstairs kissing! ALICE: Captain Latimer. In the garden, there's snowmen! And they're just growing out of nowhere, all by themselves. Look! (Alice runs to answer the front door.) VASTRA: Good evening. I'm a Lizard Woman from the Dawn of Time, and this is my wife. (Alice screams and runs back into -) STRAX: This dwelling is under attack. Remain calm, human scum. (Alice screams and faints.) DOCTOR: So, any questions? LATIMER: You have a gentleman friend? DOCTOR: Vastra, what's happening? VASTRA: The snow is highly localised, and on this occasion not naturally occurring. JENNY: It's coming out of that cab parked by the gates. STRAX: Sir, one pulver grenade would blow these snowmen to smithereens. DOCTOR: They're made of snow, Strax. They're already smithereens. See, Clara? Our friends again. LATIMER: Clara? Who's Clara? DOCTOR: Your current governess is in reality a former barmaid called Clara. GOVERNESS: That's the way to do it! DOCTOR: Meanwhile your previous governess is now a living ice sculpture impersonating Mister Punch. Jenny, what have you got? (Jenny throws a little ball that creates a forcefield at the top of the stairs.) JENNY: That should hold it. STRAX: Sir, this room. One observational window on the line of attack and one defendable entrance. DOCTOR: Right, everyone in there. Now. Move it. You, carry her. VASTRA: Nice to see you off your cloud and engaging again. DOCTOR: I'm not engaging again, I'm under attack. VASTRA: You missed this, didn't you? (The governess batters against the forcefield.) DOCTOR: Shut up. [Study] DOCTOR: Strax, how long have we got? STRAX: They're not going to attack. They made no attempt to conceal their arrival. An attack force would never abandon surprise so easily, and they're clearly in a defence formation. DOCTOR: Way, aye, aye. Well done, Straxie. Still got it, buddy. (And kisses the Sontaran on the top of the head.) STRAX: Sir, please do not noogie me during combat prep. DOCTOR: So there's something here they want. CLARA: The ice woman. DOCTOR: Exactly. JENNY: Why's she so important? DOCTOR: Because she's a perfect duplication of human DNA in ice crystal form. The ultimate fusion of snow and humanity. To live here, the snow needs to evolve and she's the blueprint. She's what they need to become. When the snow melted last night, did the pond? CLARA: No. DOCTOR: Living ice that will never melt. If the snow gets hold of that creature on the stairs, it will learn to make more of them. It will build an army of ice. And it will be the last day of humanity on this planet. (The doorbell rings.) DOCTOR: Stay here. [Entrance hall] DOCTOR: Oi, I told you to stay in there. CLARA: Oh, I didn't listen. DOCTOR: You do that a lot. CLARA: It's why you like me. DOCTOR: Who said I like you? (Clara kisses the Doctor.) CLARA: I think you just did. DOCTOR: You kissed me. CLARA: You blushed. And we just. Shut up. (The Doctor opens the front door.) SIMEON: Release her to us. You have five minutes. (Simeon turns away and the Doctor closes the door.) DOCTOR: We need to get her out of here but keep her away from them. CLARA: How? (The Doctor takes an umbrella from the stand.) DOCTOR: With this. Do I always have to state the obvious? LATIMER: Those creatures outside, what are they? DOCTOR: No danger to you, as long as I get that thing out of here. You, in there, now. (He goes up the stairs and sonicks the forcefield.) CLARA: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Between you and me, I can't wait to find out. (The forcefield turns off then reforms behind him and Clara.) DOCTOR: Right, if you look after everyone here, then I can. Clara! CLARA: Doctor. (They duck under the Governesses arms and run up the stairs.) DOCTOR: That was stupid. CLARA: You were stupid, too. DOCTOR: I'm allowed. I'm good at stupid. GOVERNESS: That's the way to do it! CLARA: Why does she keep saying that? DOCTOR: Mirroring. Random mirroring. We need to get on the roof. CLARA: This way! DOCTOR: No, I do the hand grabbing. That's my job. That's always me! [Roof] DOCTOR: Come on, quickly! What are you doing? CLARA: My bustle is stuck. DOCTOR: Your bustle? (The Doctor pulls Clara through the window. She lands on top of him.) DOCTOR: You're going to have to take those clothes off. I didn't mean. CLARA: I know. I understand, I do. DOCTOR: Good. CLARA: Now, what's the plan? DOCTOR: Who said I've got a plan? CLARA: Course you've got a plan. You took that. DOCTOR: Maybe I'm an idiot. CLARA: You're not. You're clever. Really clever. DOCTOR: Are you? (He throws Clara the umbrella.) DOCTOR: If I've got a plan, what is it? You tell me. GOVERNESS: That's the way to do it! CLARA: Is this a test? DOCTOR: Yes. CLARA: What will it do to us? DOCTOR: Kill us. GOVERNESS: That's the way to do it! (The Governess turns to snow to get through the window.) DOCTOR: So, come on then. Plan. Do I have one? CLARA: Oh, I know what your plan is. I knew straight away. DOCTOR: No, you didn't. CLARA: Course I did. DOCTOR: Show me. CLARA: Why should I? DOCTOR: Because we'll be dead in under thirty seconds. Do I have a plan? CLARA: If we'd been escaping, we'd be climbing down the building. If we'd been hiding, we'd be on the other side of the roof. But no, we're standing right here. DOCTOR: So? CLARA: So! (Clara reaches up with the umbrella and pulls the ladder down. The Governess is reforming on the roof.) CLARA: After you. DOCTOR: After you. CLARA: After you, I'm wearing a dress. Eyes front, soldier! DOCTOR: My eyes are always front! CLARA: Mine aren't. DOCTOR: Stop it. CLARA: No. I understand you're the previous governess. I regret to inform you the position is taken. Goodnight. (Clara taps the ladder, steps onto it and is raised into the air.) [Staircase] CLARA: So you can move your cloud? You can control it? DOCTOR: No. No one can control clouds, that would be silly. The wind, a little bit. CLARA: She's following us. DOCTOR: That's the idea. Keep her away from the snow. So. Barmaid or governess, which is it? CLARA: That thing is after us, and you want a chat? DOCTOR: Well, we can't chat after we've been horribly killed, can we? CLARA: How did we get up so high so quick? DOCTOR: Clever staircase. It's taller on the inside. CLARA: What am I standing on, what's this made of? DOCTOR: Super dense water vapour. Should keep her trapped for the moment. [Cloud] CLARA: Do you actually live up here on a cloud, in a box? DOCTOR: I have done for a long time now. CLARA: Blimey, you really know how to sulk, don't you? DOCTOR: I'm not sulking. CLARA: You live in a box! DOCTOR: That's no more a box than you are a governess. CLARA: Oh, spoken like a man. You know, you're the same as all the rest. Sweet little Clara, works at the Rose And Crown, ideas above her station. [Tardis] CLARA: Well, for your information, I'm not sweet on the inside, and I'm certainly not (The Doctor turns on the Tardis light. He's been redecorating, and I like it. A classic six sided free-standing console with time rotor and no nasty pseudo-organic rubbish.) CLARA: Little. DOCTOR: It's called the Tardis. It can travel anywhere in time and space. And it's mine. CLARA: But it's. Look at it, it's DOCTOR: Go on, say it. Most people do. (Clara does the traditional circuit of the outside and returns.) CLARA: It's smaller on the outside. DOCTOR: Okay, that is a first. CLARA: Is it magic? Is it a machine? DOCTOR: It's a ship. CLARA: A ship? DOCTOR: Best ship in the universe. CLARA: Is there a kitchen? DOCTOR: Another first. CLARA: I don't know why I asked that. It's just, I like making souffl�s. DOCTOR: Souffl�s? CLARA: Why are you showing me all this? DOCTOR: You followed me, remember? I didn't invite you. CLARA: You're nearly a foot taller than I am. You could've reached the ladder without this. You took it for me. Why? (She throws the umbrella to him.) DOCTOR: I never know why. I only know who. (The Doctor holds up a key, then puts it in Clara's hand.) CLARA: What's this? DOCTOR: Me. Giving in. CLARA: I don't know why I'm crying. DOCTOR: I do. Remember this. This right now, remember all of it. Because this is the day. This is the day. This is the day everything begins. (But as he starts to crank up the console, the Governess grabs Clara from behind and drags her outside. She drops the key.) DOCTOR: Clara! Clara! [Cloud] CLARA: Get off of me! DOCTOR: Water vapour doesn't stop ice. I should've realised. CLARA: Get off! DOCTOR: Let her go. Let her go now! Now! CLARA: Get off of me! DOCTOR: No. Clara! (The Governess and Clara fall backwards off the cloud.)  DOCTOR: Nooooo! [Study] (There is a Whumph! outside.) VASTRA: What was that? JENNY: It's Clara. (Vastra's steampunk style tricorder does not give good news. No life signs detected.) LATIMER: Dear God. Oh, dear God. Where did she fall from? We have to get her inside. VASTRA: Those things will kill you. LATIMER: She's hurt. VASTRA: She's dead. (The sound of the Tardis is heard.) LATIMER: What is that? What is happening? (The Tardis materialises around Clara.) VASTRA: He's bringing her in. (A short time later, Clara is lying on a table while Strax uses a device. The Tardis is parked in the corner of the room.) LATIMER: That green woman said she was dead. How can she be alive now? STRAX: This technology has capacities and abilities beyond anything your puny human mind could possibly understand. Try not to worry. [Tardis] (The Doctor is scanning the ice fragments that were around Clara.) VASTRA: Isn't the creature still a danger? It could reform. DOCTOR: No, not in here. VASTRA: Then you should be with Miss Clara. DOCTOR: She's going to be fine. I know she is. She has to be. STRAX: Doctor, her injuries are severe. That equipment will bring back anyone for a while, but long term DOCTOR: It was my fault. I am responsible for what happened to Clara. She was in my care. VASTRA: What is the point of blaming yourself? DOCTOR: None. Because she's going to live. [Study] (The Doctor hands a London Underground souvenir lunchbox to Jenny. It rattles.) DOCTOR: Hey. Hello. CLARA: They all think I'm going to die, don't they? DOCTOR: And I know you're going to live. CLARA: How? DOCTOR: I never know how. I just know who. (He gives her the key again and kisses her hand.) CLARA: The green lady. She said you were the saver of worlds once. Are you going to save this one? DOCTOR: If I do, will you come away with me? CLARA: Yes. DOCTOR: Well then. Merry Christmas. (He straightens his bow tie, takes back the lunch box and answers the door to Simeon.) [Front door] DOCTOR: I have in my hand a piece of the Ice Lady. Everything you need to know about how to make ice people. Is that what you want? See you at the office. [Tardis] VASTRA: So then, Doctor, saving the world again? Might I ask why? Are you making a bargain with the universe? You'll save the world to let her live? DOCTOR: Yes. And don't you think, after all this time and everything I've ever done, that I am owed this one? VASTRA: I don't think the universe makes bargains. DOCTOR: It was my fault. VASTRA: Well then. Better save the world. [Institute] (Vastra and the Doctor are waiting when Simeon enters.) SIMEON: You promised us something. Have you brought it? DOCTOR: Big fella here's been very quiet while you've been out. Which is only to be expected, considering who he really is. Do you know what this is, big fella? (The Doctor holds up the lunch box.) SNOWMAN: I do not understand these markings. DOCTOR: A map of the London Underground, 1967. Key strategic weakness in metropolitan living, if you ask me, but then I have never liked a tunnel. SNOWMAN: Enough of this. We are powerful, but on this planet we are limited. We need to learn to take human form. (The Doctor uses the sonic screwdriver, and the Snowman's voice rises in pitch.) SNOWMAN: The Governess is our most perfect replication of humanity. VASTRA: What's happening to its voice? DOCTOR: Just stripping away the disguise. SNOWMAN: No, stop! Stop that. Cease, I command you. VASTRA: It sounds like a child. DOCTOR: Of course it sounds like a child. It is a child. Simeon as a child. The snow has no voice without him. SNOWMAN: Don't listen to him, he's ruining everything. DOCTOR: How long has the Intelligence been talking to you? SIMEON: I was a little boy. He was my snowman. He spoke to me. SNOWMAN [memory]: They're silly. DOCTOR: But the snow doesn't talk, does it. It's just a mirror. WALTER [memory]: I don't want to talk to them. They're silly. SNOWMAN [memory]: They're silly. DOCTOR: It just reflects back everything we think and feel and fear. WALTER [memory]: I don't need anyone else. SNOWMAN [memory]: Don't need anyone else. DOCTOR: You poured your darkest dreams into a snowman and look, look what it became. VASTRA: I don't understand. DOCTOR: It's a parasite feeding on the loneliness of a child and the sickness of an old man. Carnivorous snow meets Victorian values and something terrible is born. SNOWMAN: We can go on and do everything we planned. DOCTOR: Oh yes, and what a plan. A world full of living ice people. Oh dear me, how very Victorian of you. SIMEON: What's wrong with Victorian values? (Simeon grabs the lunch box and opens it.) DOCTOR: Ah, ah, ah. Are you sure? SIMEON: I have always been sure. (The memory worm in the box bites him.) DOCTOR: Good. I'm glad you think so, since your entire adult life is about to be erased. No parasite without a host. Without you, it will have no voice. Without the governess, it will have no form. SNOWMAN: What, what, what's happening? What's happening? What did you do? DOCTOR: You've got nothing left to mirror any more. Goodbye. SNOWMAN: What did you, did you. (The snow suddenly fills the globe and its voice deepens again.) SNOWMAN: Did you really think it would be so easy? DOCTOR: That's not possible. How is that possible? VASTRA: Doctor? [Study] JENNY: They're growing! The snowmen are growing! LATIMER: What should we do? [Institute] DOCTOR: But you were just Doctor Simeon. You're not real. He dreamed you. How can you still exist? SNOWMAN: Now the dream outlives the dreamer and can never die. Once I was the puppet. (Simeon is reanimated as an icy ghoul.) SNOWMAN: Now I pull the strings! I tried so long to take on human form. By erasing Simeon, you made space for me. I fill him now. (Simeon knocks Vastra aside and grabs the Doctor.) SNOWMAN: More than snow, more than Simeon. Even this old body is strong in my control. DOCTOR: Argh! SNOWMAN: Do you feel it? Winter is coming! (His touch starts to freeze the Doctor's skin.) DOCTOR: Argh! SNOWMAN: Winter is coming! [Study] STRAX: No, you must fight. Hang on and fight, boy. You can do it. CLARA: Captain Latimer. Your children. They're afraid. Hold them. LATIMER: It's not really my area. CLARA: It is now. (A single tear runs down from Clara's eye. Outside, thunder rends the snowstorm and turns it into rain.) [Institute] (The snow globe is filled with melt water. Simeon leaps off the Doctor.) SNOWMAN: What's happening? VASTRA: Doctor, the globe. It's turning to rain. All of it, the snow, look. (Simeon dies.) VASTRA: He's dead. What happened? DOCTOR: The snow mirrors, that's all it does. It's mirroring something else now. Something so strong, it's drowning everything else. (The Doctor opens a window and holds out his hand.) DOCTOR: There was a critical mass of snow at the house. If something happened there (They both taste the rain.) VASTRA: It's salty. Salt water rain. DOCTOR: It's not raining. It's crying. The only force on Earth that could drown the snow. A whole family crying on Christmas Eve. [Study] (The Tardis materialises.) STRAX: I'm sorry. There was nothing to be done. She has moments only. DOCTOR: We saved the world, Clara, you and me. We really, really did. CLARA: Are you going back to your cloud? DOCTOR: No more cloud. Not now. CLARA: Why not? DOCTOR: It rained. CLARA: Run. Run, you clever boy. And remember. (The clock chimes midnight as Clara dies.) DIGBY: It's Christmas. Christmas Day. [Graveyard] (Captain Latimer is with his children by the graveside.) VASTRA: And what about the Intelligence? Melted with the snow? DOCTOR: No, I shouldn't think so. It learned to survive beyond physical form. JENNY: Well, we can't be in much danger from a disembodied Intelligence that thinks it can invade the world with snowmen. VASTRA: Or that the London Underground is a key strategic weakness. DOCTOR: The Great Intelligence. Rings a bell. The Great Intelligence. (He walks forward to the grave as the family leave.) JENNY: Doctor? (The gravestone has already been carved and put in place.) DOCTOR: I never knew her name. Her full name. OSWIN [memory]: Oswin Oswald. Junior Entertainment Manager, Starship Alaska. DOCTOR: Souffl� girl. Oswin. It was her. OSWIN [memory]: Run, you clever boy. CLARA [memory]: Run, you clever boy. OSWIN [memory]: And remember. CLARA [memory]: And remember. DOCTOR: It was souffl� girl again. I never saw her face the first time with the Daleks, but her voice, it was the same voice. JENNY: Doctor? DOCTOR: The same woman, twice. And she died both times. The same woman! VASTRA: Doctor, please, what are you talking about? DOCTOR: Something's going on. Something impossible, something. Right, you two stay here. Stay right here. Don't move an inch. VASTRA: Are you coming back? DOCTOR: Shouldn't think so! VASTRA: But where are you going? DOCTOR: To find her. To find Clara. Ha ha ha! JENNY: But Clara's dead. What's he talking about, finding her? (Clara Oswin Oswald. Remember me, we shall meet again. Born November 23 1866, died December 24, 1892.)  VASTRA: I don't know, but perhaps the universe makes bargains after all. (Same graveyard, over a hundred years later and somewhat overgrown.) GIRL [OC]: Where are you going? CLARA: Short cut. GIRL: Through there? I hate this place! Don't you think it's creepy? CLARA: Nah. I don't believe in ghosts. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Clara Oswin Oswald. Watch me run. CLARA: One day you meet the Doctor. And of course, it's the best day ever. It's just the best day of your life. Because, because he's brilliant, and he's funny, and mad, and best of all, he really needs you. The trick is, don't fall in love. I do that trick quite a lot, sometimes twice a day. And once you start running, you start to forget, slowly. After a while, you just stop asking. Who are you? Where are you from? What set you on your way and where are you going? Oh, and what is your name? You get used to not knowing. I thought I never would. I was wrong. I know who he is. I know how he began and I know where he's going. I know the truth about the Doctor and his greatest secret. The day we went to Trenzalore. DOCTOR: From the beginning, she was impossible. The Impossible Girl. I met her in the Dalek Asylum. Never saw her face, and she died. I met her again in Victorian London, and she died. Saved my life both times, by giving her own. But now she's back and we're running together, and she's perfect. Perfect in every way for me. Except she can't remember that we ever met. Clara. My Clara. Always brave, always funny, always exactly what I need. Perfect. Too perfect. Get used to not knowing. I thought I never would. I was wrong. I know who Clara Oswald is. I know how she came to be in my life, and I know what she will always mean. I found out the day we went to Trenzalore. [Citadel, Gallifrey] (A very long time ago, an alarm is sounding.) ANDRO: Something wrong? FABIAN: It's the repair shop. What kind of idiot would steal a faulty Tardis? (The monitor screen shows a white-haired old man in a black frock coat and a teenaged girl getting into a non-camouflaged Type 40.) [Repair shop] CLARA: Doctor? Doctor? DOCTOR 1: Yes, what is it? What do you want? CLARA: Sorry, but you're about to make a very big mistake. CLARA [OC]: I don't know where I am. It's like I'm breaking into a million pieces and there's only one thing I remember. I have to save the Doctor. He always looks different. (The sixth Doctor walks across behind her.) CLARA: Doctor! (The fourth Doctor walks past her, scarf flying.) CLARA [OC]: But I always know it's him. Sometimes I think I'm everywhere at once, running every second just to find him. (The seventh Doctor is dangling from the ice cliff on the lower levels in Dragonfire.) CLARA: Doctor! CLARA [OC]: Just to save him. (The third Doctor drives past in Bessie.) CLARA: Doctor! (The second Doctor, in his fur coat, runs past her in a palm-fringed park. She tries to follow, but falls onto a clear surface, where the fifth Doctor is floating beneath her in the Matrix in Arc of Infinity.) CLARA: Doctor? CLARA [OC]: But he never hears me. (The Eleventh Doctor in Victorian clothes, in Snowmen.) CLARA: Oi. CLARA [OC]: Almost never. I blew into this world on a leaf. (The leaf that blew into the face of her father, that made him meet her mother.) CLARA [OC]: I'm still blowing. I don't think I'll ever land. I'm Clara Oswald. I'm the Impossible Girl. I was born to save the Doctor. [London 1893 - prison cell] DeMARCO: Do you hear the Whisper Men? The Whisper Men are near. If you hear the Whisper Men, then turn away your ear. Do not hear the Whisper men, whatever else you do. For once you've heard the Whisper Men, they'll stop and look at you. One word from you could save me from the rope. VASTRA: Then you may rely on my silence. DeMARCO: I have information. Valuable information. VASTRA: Are you bargaining for your life? You have the blood of fourteen women on your hands. There are no words you can speak that will save your neck. DeMARCO: The Doctor. Ah, yes. I know all about him, your dangerous friend. VASTRA: How? DeMARCO: In the babble of the world, there are whispers, if you know how to listen. The Doctor has a secret, you know. VASTRA: He has many. DeMARCO: He has one he will take to the grave. And it is discovered. Well? [Paternoster Row] JENNY: We can't let that terrible man live. VASTRA: He lives till I understand what he told me. We're going to need a conference call. I'll send out the invitations, you fetch the candles. JENNY: Yes, ma'am. (Jenny walks out of the room and hears voices whispering.) VASTRA: Where's Strax got to? JENNY: The usual. It's his weekend off. VASTRA: I wish he'd never discovered that place. [Glasgow] STRAX [OC]: Sontar-ha! Sontar-ha! (Strax and a big man go flying through a window.) ARCHIE: Come here while I kill ye, ya filthy wee midden. STRAX: Prepare to die in agony for the glory of the Sontaran Empire! MESSENGER BOY: Excuse me. Mister Strax? STRAX: What is it, girl? Can't you see I'm trying to crush the brains of this stinking primitive? Sorry about this. ARCHIE: No problem. MESSENGER BOY: It's a telegram, sir. Very urgent. (Strax reads it.) STRAX: Conference call. Sorry, Archie. I'm going to have to ask you to render me unconscious. ARCHIE: Fine. (Archie raises his large mallet.) STRAX: Better use this. (Strax's even larger shovel.) STRAX: It might take a while. [Paternoster Row] (Vivaldi's Four Seasons plays in the background as Vastra and Jenny settle themselves into high backed chairs around a five sided table.) VASTRA: Sleep well, my love. JENNY: You too. [Higher plane] (They are still seated around the five sided table, but the decor has changed.) WHISPER [OC]: The trap is set for the Doctor's friends. They will travel where the Doctor ends. JENNY: Oh, I like the new desktop. VASTRA: I was getting a little bored of the Taj Mahal. The tea should be superb. It's drawn from one of my favourite memories. Strax, good of you to join us. STRAX: It had better be important. I was in the middle of destroying some very pleasant primitives. VASTRA: I apologise for the interruption, but there is urgent news concerning the Doctor. STRAX: Who else is coming? VASTRA: The women. [Maitland home] (The children are doing their homework.) ANGIE: Oh, no. You're going to try and make a soufflé again, aren't you? CLARA: My mum's soufflé, yeah. Although this time I'll get it right. This time I will be Soufflé Girl. ARTIE: How can it be your mum's soufflé if you're making it? CLARA: Because, Artie, it's like my mum always said. The soufflé isn't the soufflé, the soufflé is the recipe. ANGIE: Was your mum deep on puddings? CLARA: She was a great woman. (She picks up an envelope. Neat cursive writing and a wax seal on the flap, and the instructions Open When Alone.) CLARA: What's this? ANGIE: Oh, it arrived today. It's for you. [Clara's room] VASTRA [OC]: My dearest Clara. The Doctor entrusted me with your contact details in the event of an emergency, and I fear one has now arisen. Assuming this letter will have reached you as planned, on April the tenth, 2013, please find and light the enclosed candle. It will release a soporific which will induce a trance state, enabling direct communication across the years. However, as I realise you have no reason to trust this letter, I have taken the liberty of embedding the same soporific into the fabric of the paper you are now holding. Speak soon. [Higher plane] (Clara drops in.) VASTRA: So glad you could make it. CLARA: Where am I? JENNY: Exactly where you were, but sleeping. VASTRA: Time travel has always been possible in dreams. We are awaiting only one more participant. STRAX: Oh, no. Not the one with the gigantic head? JENNY: It's hair, Strax. STRAX: Hair. (And she arrives in a puff of smoke.) RIVER: Madame Vastra. VASTRA: Professor. Help yourself to some tea. RIVER: Why, thank you. (River creates a champagne bottle and flute for herself.) JENNY: How did you do that? RIVER: Disgracefully. VASTRA: Ah. Perhaps you two haven't met. This is the Doctor's companion. That is, his current travelling assistant. CLARA: Assistant? STRAX: Have you gone a darker green? VASTRA: Clara Oswald. RIVER: Professor River Song. The Doctor might have mentioned me? CLARA: Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, of course he has. Professor Song. Sorry, it's just I never realised you were a woman. STRAX: Well, neither did I. VASTRA: Perhaps we should get down to the business at hand. JENNY: That might be good, dear, yes. VASTRA: Clarence DeMarco. Murderer, under sentence of death. He offered us this in exchange for his life. RIVER: Space time coordinates. VASTRA: This, Mister DeMarco claims, is the location of the Doctor's greatest secret. CLARA: Which is? JENNY: We don't know. It's a secret. VASTRA: The Doctor does not discuss his secrets with anyone, my dear. If you're still entertaining the idea that you are an exception to this rule, ask yourself one question. What is his name? (Something invisible touches Jenny's cheek.) RIVER: Well, I know it. CLARA: What, you know his name? He told you? RIVER: I made him. CLARA: How? RIVER: It took a while. CLARA: So you're a friend of his, then? RIVER: A little more than a friend, a long time ago. VASTRA: He's still never contacted you? RIVER: He doesn't like endings. (Something is going on back where Vastra and Jenny are asleep.) RIVER: So what else did this DeMarco tell you? He didn't just buy his life with some coordinates. How did he prove their value? VASTRA: One word, only. RIVER: What word? VASTRA: A word I've heard in connection with the Doctor before. Trenzalore. RIVER: How exactly did he describe what he was giving you? HOLO-DeMARCO: The Doctor has a secret, you know. He has one he will take to the grave. And it is discovered. RIVER: You misunderstood. JENNY: Ma'am, I'm sorry. I just realise I forgot to lock the doors. VASTRA: It doesn't matter, Jenny. What misunderstanding? Tell me. JENNY: No, ma'am, please. I should've locked up before we went into the trance. VASTRA: Jenny, it doesn't matter! JENNY: Someone's broken in. Someone's with us. I can hear them. VASTRA: Jenny, are you all right? JENNY: Sorry, ma'am. So sorry. So sorry. So sorry. I think I've been murdered. (Astral Jenny starts to fade away.) VASTRA: Jenny! CLARA: What's happened to her. RIVER: Jenny, can you hear me? STRAX: Speak to us, boy! VASTRA: Jenny! RIVER: You're under attack. You must wake up now. Just wake up. Do it! (River slaps Vastra.) [Paternoster Row] (Vastra wakes up.)  VASTRA: Who are you? What have you done to her? (A group of 'men' with just mouths, like the Trickster from Sarah Jane Adventures, snarl at her.) [Higher plane] RIVER: You too, Strax. Wake up now! (River throws her champagne into his face. Strax sits up in Glasgow, surrounded by the same creatures. Apparently they are known as Whisper Men. They are also with Clara and River.) WHISPER MEN: Tell the Doctor. Tell the Doctor. Tell the Doctor. CLARA: Tell him what? (The face of the Great Intelligence appears.) HOLO-SIMEON: His friends are lost for ever more, unless he goes to Trenzalore. RIVER: No! You can't say that. He can't go there. You know he can't. DOCTOR [OC]: Angie? Artie? RIVER: The Doctor can never go to Trenzalore. DOCTOR [OC]: Am I getting warm? [Maitland home] (Clara wakes up at the top of the stairs.) DOCTOR: Angie? Artie? Am I getting warm? Am I getting warm? (The Doctor is blindfolded.) DOCTOR: Am I getting warm? Look, I'm pretty sure you have to tell me if I'm getting warm. I'm, I'm, I'm pretty sure that's in the rules. (Clara goes downstairs.) CLARA: Doctor? DOCTOR: Ha! Clara. How are you? Don't worry, everything is under control. CLARA: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Oh. Mister Maitland went next door, so I said I'd look after the kids. They wanted to go to the cinema, but I said no. I said no, not until you wake up. I was very firm. CLARA: At which point they suggested Blind Man's Buff. DOCTOR: Yes. Where are they? CLARA: At the cinema. (She removes his blindfold.) DOCTOR: The little Daleks. What's wrong? (Clara makes tea.) CLARA: So who was she, the lady with the funny name and the space hair? DOCTOR: An old friend of mine. CLARA: What, like an ex? DOCTOR: Yes, an ex. River asked Vastra for the exact words. What were they? CLARA: The Doctor has a secret he will take to the grave. It is discovered. Doctor? (The Doctor cries.) DOCTOR: Sorry. And it was Trenzalore? Definitely Trenzalore? CLARA: Yeah. DOCTOR: Oh dear. Sorry. (He runs out of the house.) [Tardis] (Clara finds the Doctor under the time rotor.) CLARA: Well? DOCTOR: Trenzalore. I've heard the name, of course. Dorium mentioned it. A few others. Always suspected what it was, never wanted to find out myself. River would know, though. River always knew. Right, come here. Give me your hand. Now, the coordinates you saw will still be in your memory. I'm linking you into the Tardis telepathic circuit. Won't hurt a bit. CLARA: Ow! DOCTOR: I lied. CLARA: Okay, what is Trenzalore? Is that your big secret? DOCTOR: No. CLARA: Okay, what then? DOCTOR: When you are a time traveller, there is one place you must never go. One place in all of space and time you must never, ever find yourself. CLARA: Where? DOCTOR: You didn't listen, did you? You lot never do. That's the problem. The Doctor has a secret he will take to the grave. It is discovered. He wasn't talking about my secret. No, no, no, that's not what's been found. He was talking about my grave. Trenzalore is where I'm buried. CLARA: How can you have a grave? DOCTOR: Because we all do, somewhere out there in the future, waiting for us. (They go up to the console.) DOCTOR: The trouble with time travel, you can actually end up visiting. CLARA: But you're not going to. You just said it's the one place you must never go. DOCTOR: I have to save Vastra and Strax. Jenny too, if it's still possible. They, they cared for me during the dark times. Never questioned me, never judged me, they were just kind. I owe them. I have a duty. No point in telling you this is too dangerous. CLARA: None at all. How can we save them? DOCTOR: Apparently, by breaking into my own tomb. (He puts the Tardis into flight. It is a very bumpy ride.) CLARA: What's that? DOCTOR: She's just figured out where we're going. She's against it. I'm about to cross my own timeline in the biggest way possible. The Tardis doesn't like it. She's fighting it. Hang on! Hang on! (Lots of bangs and sparks. They get thrown over to the railings, and the Tardis powers down.) CLARA: Now what? DOCTOR: She doesn't want to land. She's shut down. CLARA: So we're not there? DOCTOR: We must be close. (He goes to the door, opens it and looks down.) DOCTOR: Okay, so that's where I end up. (An angry volcanic planet.) DOCTOR: Always thought maybe I'd retire. Take up watercolours or bee-keeping, or something. Apparently not. CLARA: So, how do we get down there? Jump? DOCTOR: Don't be silly. We fall. (They go back inside.) DOCTOR: She's turned off practically everything, except the anti-gravs. Guess what I'm turning off. (He uses the sonic screwdriver, and Clara screams as the Tardis tumbles to the planet.) [Trenzalore] (The Tardis hits ground so hard it breaks one of the glass panes in the door.) DOCTOR: Oops. (The sky is dark, and occasionally riven with lightning.) CLARA: You okay? You're visiting your own grave. Anyone would be scared. DOCTOR: It's more than that. I'm a time traveller. I've probably time-travelled more than anyone else. CLARA: Meaning? DOCTOR: Meaning my grave is potentially the most dangerous place in the universe. Shall we? CLARA: Gravestones are a big basic? DOCTOR: It's a battlefield graveyard. My final battle. CLARA: Why are some of them bigger? DOCTOR: They're soldiers. The bigger the gravestone, the higher the rank. (Up ahead is the biggest of all, a familiar shape with a light on top.) CLARA: It's a hell of a monument. DOCTOR: It's the Tardis. CLARA: I can see that. DOCTOR: No. When a Tardis is dying, sometimes the dimension dams start breaking down. They used to call it a size leak. All the bigger on the inside starts leaking to the outside. It grows. When I say that's the Tardis, I don't mean it looks like the Tardis, I mean it actually is the Tardis. My Tardis from the future. What else would they bury me in? (The Doctor walks on.) RIVER: Clara. Don't speak, don't say my name. He can't see or hear me. Only you can. DOCTOR [OC]: Well, come on, then. RIVER: We're mentally linked. It's the conference call. I kept the line open. DOCTOR: Who are you talking to? We need to get. River. (A gravestone with River Song carved in it.) CLARA: That can't be right. DOCTOR: No, it can't. CLARA: She's not dead. DOCTOR: Oh, she's dead, I'm afraid. She's been dead for a very long time. RIVER: Yeah, probably should have mentioned that. Never the right time. CLARA: But I met her. DOCTOR: Long story. But her grave can't be here. (Whispers.) CLARA: Doctor! (Whisper men are there.) WHISPER MEN: This man must fall as all men must. The fate of all is always dust. (The sonic screwdriver does not work on them.) RIVER: If it isn't my gravestone, then what is it? CLARA: What do you think that gravestone really is? DOCTOR: The gravestone? RIVER: Maybe it's a false grave. CLARA: Maybe it's a false grave. DOCTOR: Yeah, maybe. RIVER: Maybe it's a secret entrance to the tomb. CLARA: Maybe it's a secret entrance to the tomb! DOCTOR: Yes, of course. Makes sense. They'd never bury my wife out here. CLARA: Your what? (He zaps River's headstone with the sonic screwdriver. A hole opens in the ground and they fall through.) WHISPER MEN: The man who lies will lie no more when this man lies at Trenzalore. [Outside the tomb] (Vastra and Strax wake up at the base of the Tardis monument.) STRAX: This base is surrounded! Lay down your weapons and your deaths will be merciful! VASTRA: Jenny. Jenny! (Vastra runs to her wife's body.) STRAX: This planet is now property of the Sontaran Empire. Surrender your women and intellectuals. VASTRA: Strax, please! She's dead. (He scans Jenny.) STRAX: No heart beat. Complete cardio-collapse, shock induced. VASTRA: Get her back for me. Get her back for me now or I will cut you into pieces. STRAX: Unhand me, ridiculous reptile. (He uses his medi-scanner to transmit an electric pulse, and Jenny coughs.) STRAX: There we go. Just a standard electro-cardio restart. She'll be fine. VASTRA: Are you all right, my love? Can you hear me? STRAX: The heart is a relatively simple thing. VASTRA: I have not found it to be so. (The Whisper Men approach them, with their leader.) SIMEON: I see you have repaired your pet. No matter. I was only attracting your attention. I presume I have it. VASTRA: Doctor Simeon. This is not possible. SIMEON: And yet here we are, meeting again, so very far from home. JENNY: But he died. You told me. VASTRA: Simeon died, but the creature that possessed him lived on. I take it I am now talking to the Great Intelligence? SIMEON: Welcome to the final resting place of the cruel tyrant. Of the slaughterer of the ten billion, and the vessel of the final darkness. Welcome to the tomb of the Doctor. (Cue lightning.) [Catacombs] (The Doctor lights a handy firebrand or torch.) CLARA: Where are we? DOCTOR: Catacombs. CLARA: I hate catacombs. So how come I met your dead wife? DOCTOR: Oh well, you know how it is when you lose someone close to you. I sort of made a back-up. RIVER: I died saving him. In return, he saved me to a database in the biggest library in the universe. Left me like a book on a shelf. Didn't even say goodbye. He doesn't like endings. DOCTOR: Clara, come on! Run, run! (Whisper men are behind them.) [Outside the tomb] SIMEON: It was a minor skirmish, by the Doctor's blood-soaked standards. Not exactly the Time War, but enough to finish him. In the end, it was too much for the old man. JENNY: Blood-soaked? VASTRA: The Doctor has been many things, but never blood-soaked. SIMEON: Tell that to the leader of the Sycorax, or Solomon the trader, or the Cybermen, or the Daleks. The Doctor lives his life in darker hues, day upon day, and he will have other names before the end. The Storm, the Beast, the Valeyard. VASTRA: Even if any of this were true, which I take the liberty of doubting, how did you come by this information? SIMEON: I am information. JENNY: You were a mind without a body last time we met. VASTRA: And you were supposed to stay that way. SIMEON: Alas, I did. (Simeon pulls at his face, to reveal that he is an empty shell. His clothes tumble to the ground, then a Whisper Man steps forward and becomes him again.) SIMEON: As you can see. [Tomb basement] (The Doctor bursts through a steel door.) DOCTOR: Come on, quickly, we're in. (A Whisper Man grabs Clara's arm.) CLARA: Doctor! DOCTOR: Clara! (He pulls her out of its grasp and slams the door. It's hand is trapped until it pulls it back, and the door closes properly.) DOCTOR: Yowzah. (They head up metal stairs.) DOCTOR: Still a bit of a climb. I think I remember the way. Clara? Clara. (Clara is feeling dizzy.) DOCTOR: Hey, it's okay. You're fine. The dimensioning forces this deep in the Tardis, they can make you a bit giddy. CLARA: I know, I know. How do I know? How do I know that? DOCTOR: Clara, it's okay. You're fine. CLARA: Have we, have we done this before? We have. We have done this before. Climbing through a wrecked Tardis. (Journey to the Centre of the Tardis, with the complete reboot so it never happened.) CLARA: You said things, things I'm not supposed to remember. DOCTOR: We can't do this now. The Tardis is a ruin. The telepathic circuits are awakening memories you shouldn't even have.  DOCTOR [memory]: Why do I keep meeting you? DOCTOR: Clara. DOCTOR [memory]: The Dalek Asylum. There was a girl in a shipwreck and she died saving my life. And she was you. DOCTOR: Clara. DOCTOR [memory]: In Victorian London there was a governess, who was really a barmaid, and she died. And she was you. DOCTOR: Clara? Clara, what's wrong? CLARA: What do you mean, you keep meeting me? You said I died. How could I die? DOCTOR: That is not a conversation you should even remember. CLARA: What do you mean I died? WHISPER MEN: The girl who died he tried to save. She'll die again inside his grave. DOCTOR: Run. Run! [Outside the tomb] SIMEON: The doors require a key. The key is a word. And the word is the Doctor's. DOCTOR: Here I am, late to my own funeral. Glad you could make it. Jenny. SIMEON: Open the door, Doctor. Speak, and open your tomb. DOCTOR: No. SIMEON: Because you know what's in there? DOCTOR: I will not open those doors. SIMEON: The key is a word lost to time. A secret hidden in the deepest shadow and know to you alone. The answer to a question. DOCTOR: I will not open my tomb. SIMEON: Doctor, what is your name? The Doctor's friends. Stop their hearts. (The Whisper Men hiss.) STRAX: Madam, boys, combat formation. They are unarmed. JENNY: So are we! STRAX: Do not divulge our military secrets. DOCTOR: Stop this. Leave them alone. SIMEON: Your name, Doctor. Answer me. CLARA: Doctor? (Strax picks up a stick and hits a Whisper Man with it. It cuts through its body.) STRAX: Do you want me to do that again? (Then the hole closes up.) SIMEON: Doctor who? (The Whisper Man reaches into Strax's chest, and closes its hand around his heart.) DOCTOR: Please, stop it. SIMEON: Doctor who? STRAX: Unhand me, sir. Argh. DOCTOR: Leave him alone. Let him be. STRAX: Don't worry, sir. I think I've got him rattled. (One attacks Clara, too.) CLARA: Doctor! Doctor! SIMEON: Doctor who? DOCTOR: Please! (The tomb door opens. Strax is released.) RIVER: The Tardis can still hear me. Lucky thing, since him indoors is being so useless. STRAX: Why did you open the door, sir? I had them on the run. DOCTOR: I didn't do it. I didn't say my name. RIVER: No, but I did. DOCTOR: Is everyone all right? Is everyone okay? Clara? Clara? Clara, are you okay? CLARA: That was not nice. DOCTOR: I know. I'm sorry. Now then, Doctor Simeon, or Mister G Intelligence, whatever I call you, do you know what's in there? SIMEON: For me, peace at last. For you, pain everlasting. Won't you invite us in? (The Doctor forces the doors further open.) [Tomb] (The console room, except instead of a time rotor and console, there is a bright tangle of shining white energy tendrils, swirling and writhing in a column. The Cloister Bell tolls in the background. There is ivy growing over the railing and other fittings.) CLARA: What's that? DOCTOR: What were you expecting, a body? Bodies are boring. I've had loads of them. Nah, that's not what my tomb is for. VASTRA: But what is the light? JENNY: It's beautiful. STRAX: Should I destroy it? VASTRA: Shut up, Strax. CLARA: Doctor, explain. What is that? DOCTOR: The tracks of my tears. SIMEON: Less poetry, Doctor. Just tell them. DOCTOR: Time travel is damage. It's like a tear in the fabric of reality. That is the scar tissue of my journey through the universe. My path through time and space from Gallifrey to Trenzalore. (He zaps it with his sonic screwdriver. Overlapping clips, sorry if I missed any.) DOCTOR 1 [OC]: Have you ever thought what it's like to be wanderers in the fourth dimension? DOCTOR 4 [OC]: Do I have the right? DOCTOR 6 [OC]: Daleks, Cybermen, they're still in the nursery compared to us. DOCTOR 2 [OC]: There are corners of the universe that have bred the most dangerous things. DOCTOR 9 [OC]: You were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. DOCTOR 10 [OC]: I'm the Doctor. I'm from Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous DOCTOR 11 [OC]: Hello, Stonehenge! DOCTOR: My own personal time tunnel. All the days, DOCTOR 3 [OC]: It was the daisiest daisy I'd ever seen. DOCTOR: Even the ones that I, er, even the ones that I haven't lived yet. (The Doctor collapses.) CLARA: Doctor. Doctor! DOCTOR: No, no. Which is why I shouldn't be here. The paradoxes. It's very bad. (Simeon steps forward.) DOCTOR: No. No. No. What are you doing? Somebody stop him! SIMEON: The Doctor's life is a open wound. And an open wound can be entered. DOCTOR: No, it would destroy you. SIMEON: Not at all. It will kill me. It will destroy you. I can rewrite your every living moment. I can turn every one of you victories into defeats. Poison every friendship. Deliver pain to your every breath. DOCTOR: It will burn you up. Once you go through, you can't come back. You will be scattered along my timeline like confetti. SIMEON: It matters not, Doctor. You thwarted me at every turn. Now you will give me peace, as I take my revenge on every second of your life. Goodbye. Goodbye, Doctor. (Simeon backs into the time stream, and the Whisper Men vanish. There is a big flash. The Doctor writhes in agony.) CLARA: What's wrong with him? What's happening? VASTRA: He's being rewritten. Simeon is attacking his entire timeline. He's dying all at once. The Dalek Asylum. Androzani. CLARA: What did you say? Did you say the Dalek Asylum? VASTRA: Now he's dying in London, with us. SIMEON [OC]: It is done. (The time stream turns red.) VASTRA: Oh, dear Goddess. JENNY: What's wrong? VASTRA: A universe without the Doctor. There will be consequences. Jenny, with me. CLARA: The Dalek Asylum. You said it was me that saved you. How? Victorian London. How, how could I have been in Victorian London? DOCTOR: No. Please, stop. My life, my whole life is burning. [Outside the tomb] JENNY: What are you scanning for? VASTRA: Local star systems. STRAX: Why? VASTRA: Because they're disappearing. JENNY: Disappearing how? VASTRA: The Doctor's timeline has been corrupted. His every victory reversed. Think how many lives that man saved. How many worlds. He saved your life when we met. Jenny? (Jenny has vanished.) VASTRA: Please, Jenny, no! Oh God, oh please, no. STRAX: Reptile scum. (Strax attacks Vastra.) STRAX: You are an affront to Sontaran purity. Prepare to perish! VASTRA: We're friends. Strax, your past is changing, but I swear, we are comrades! STRAX: Die, reptile. (She raises her weapon, but Strax disappears.) VASTRA: Strax! Strax! [Tomb] CLARA: I have to go in there. DOCTOR: Please, please, no. CLARA: But this is what I've already done. You've already seen me do it. I'm the Impossible Girl, and this is why. RIVER: Whatever you're thinking of doing, don't. CLARA: If I step in there, what happens? RIVER: The time winds will tear you into a million pieces. A million versions of you, living and dying all over time and space, like echoes. CLARA: But the echoes could save the Doctor, right? RIVER: But they won't be you. The real you will die. They'll just be copies. CLARA: But they'll be real enough to save him. It's like my mum said. The soufflé isn't the soufflé, the soufflé is the recipe. It's the only way to save him, isn't it? (River's image nods.) VASTRA: The stars are going out. And Jenny and Strax are dead. There must be something we can do. CLARA: Well, how about that? I'm soufflé girl after all. DOCTOR: No. Please. CLARA: If this works, get out of here as fast as you can. And spare me a thought now and then. DOCTOR: No, Clara. CLARA: In fact, you know what? Run. Run, you clever boy, and remember me. DOCTOR: No. Clara! (Clara steps into the time stream. It turns white again.) CLARA [OC]: I don't know where I am. DOCTOR: Clara! (Reprise the earlier montage.) CLARA [OC]: I just know I'm running. Sometimes it's like I've lived a thousand lives in a thousand places. I'm born, I live, I die. And always, there's the Doctor. Always I'm running to save the Doctor again and again and again. Oi! And he hardly ever hears me. But I've always been there. [Gallifrey - Tardis repair shop] CLARA: Doctor? DOCTOR 1: Yes, what is it? What do you want? CLARA [OC]: Right from the very beginning. CLARA: Sorry, but you're about to make a very big mistake. Don't steal that one, steal this one. The navigation system's knackered, but you'll have much more fun. CLARA [OC]: Right from the day he started running. CLARA [Dalek Asylum]: Run, you clever boy. [Tomb] CLARA: And remember me. (Whiteout.) STRAX: It was an unprovoked and violent attack, but that's no excuse. VASTRA: We're all restored. That's all that matters now. DOCTOR: We are not all restored. RIVER: You can't go in there. It's your own time stream, for God's sake. DOCTOR: I have to get her back. RIVER: Of course, but not like this. JENNY: But how? VASTRA: Is she still alive? It killed Doctor Simeon. DOCTOR: Clara's got one advantage over the Great Intelligence. VASTRA: Which is? DOCTOR: Me. RIVER: Doctor, please listen to me. At least hear me. DOCTOR: Now, if I don't come back, and I might not RIVER: Doctor! DOCTOR: Go to the Tardis. The fast return protocols should be on. She'll take you home, then shut herself down. RIVER: There has to be another way. Use the Tardis, use something. Save her, yes, but for God's sake be sensible. (River's image goes to hit the Doctor, and he catches her arm in his hand.) RIVER: How are you even doing that? I'm not really here. DOCTOR: You are always here to me. And I always listen, and I can always see you. RIVER: Then why didn't you speak to me? DOCTOR: Because I thought it would hurt too much. RIVER: I believe I could have coped. DOCTOR: No, I thought it would hurt me. And I was right. (The Doctor kisses River.) DOCTOR: Since nobody else in this room can see you, God knows how that looked. There is a time to live and a time to sleep. You are an echo, River. Like Clara. Like all of us, in the end. My fault, I know, but you should've faded by now. RIVER: It's hard to leave when you haven't said goodbye. DOCTOR: Then tell me, because I don't know. How do I say it? RIVER: There's only one way I'd accept. If you ever loved me, say it like you're going to come back. DOCTOR: Well, then. See you around, Professor River Song. RIVER: Till the next time, Doctor. DOCTOR: Don't wait up. RIVER: Oh, there's one more thing. DOCTOR: Isn't there always? RIVER: I was mentally linked with Clara. If she's really dead, then how can I still be here? DOCTOR: Okay, how? RIVER: Spoilers. Goodbye, sweetie. (Melody Pond, daughter of the Tardis, vanishes. The Doctor steps into his own time stream. Whiteout.) CLARA [OC]: I don't know where I am. I don't know where I'm going or where I've been. I was born to save the Doctor, but the Doctor is safe now. I'm the Impossible Girl, and my story is done. [Time stream] (Thud. It looks like the graveyard at Trenzalore.) CLARA: Doctor? (Thud.) CLARA: Doctor! Please, please, I don't know where I am. DOCTOR [OC]: Clara. You can hear me. I know you can. CLARA: I can't see you. DOCTOR [OC]: I'm everywhere. You're inside my time stream. Everything around you is me. (The first Doctor walks past.) CLARA: I can see you. (More figures run past.) CLARA: All your different faces, they're here. DOCTOR [OC]: Those are my ghosts. My past. Every good day, every bad day. (Clara is knocked to the ground.) CLARA: What's wrong? What's happening? DOCTOR [OC]: I'm inside my own time stream. It's collapsing in on itself. CLARA: Well, get out then. DOCTOR [OC]: Not until I've got you. CLARA: I don't even know who I am. DOCTOR [OC]: You're my Impossible Girl. I'm sending you something. Not from my past, from yours. Look up. Look. (A dead leaf comes floating down.) DOCTOR [OC]: This is you, Clara. Everything you were or will be. Take it. You blew into the world on this leaf. Hold tight. It will take you home. (Clara takes the leaf and stumbles forward.) DOCTOR [OC]: Clara! Clara! Come on. Come on, to me, now. DOCTOR: You can do it. I know you can. CLARA: How? DOCTOR: Because it's impossible. And you're my Impossible Girl. How many times have you saved me, Clara? Just this once, just for the hell of it, let me save you. You have to trust me, Clara. I'm real. Just one more step. (Clara stumbles into the Doctor's arms.) DOCTOR: Clara, my Clara. (The Doctor looks forward to where a man is standing with his back to them.) CLARA: Who's that? DOCTOR: Never mind. Let's go back. CLARA: But who is he? DOCTOR: He's me. There's only me here, that's the point. Now let's get back. CLARA: But I never saw that one. I saw all of you. Eleven faces, all of them you. You're the eleventh Doctor. DOCTOR: I said he was me. I never said he was the Doctor. CLARA: I don't understand. DOCTOR: Look, my name, my real name, that is not the point. The name I chose is the Doctor. The name you choose, it's like, it's like a promise you make. He's the one who broke the promise. (Clara faints.) DOCTOR: Clara? Clara? Clara! (The Doctor picks up Clara in his arms.) DOCTOR: He is my secret. NOT DOCTOR: What I did, I did without choice. DOCTOR: I know. NOT DOCTOR: In the name of peace and sanity. DOCTOR: But not in the name of the Doctor. (The Doctor turns and carries Clara away. The figure turns around to introduce John Hurt as the Doctor.) (We are seeing a Gallifreyan soldier from someone else's viewpoint.) SOLDIER: Don't try to speak. If you can hear me, nod. When the headcam's attached for the first time, your speech centres get a bit confused. You'll be fine in a bit. Do you want to try standing? Oh, that's it. It'll feel better any second. What I'm doing now is fusing the grid to your neural receptors. From now on, the headcam is downloading directly into your memory. A tiny part of your brain is now a hard drive. Takes up hardly any space. You won't feel a thing. Now, at the beginning, sometimes this has side-effects. (flash of a screaming soldier) I don't know what the guys have been telling you, but trust me, they're not premonitions, okay? Just side-effects, hallucinations. Okay, take a look in the mirror. I'm going to show you how the fittings work. (Our soldier turns, sees himself and staggers back, falling over.) SOLDIER: It's only an hallucination. It's okay, it's not real, it's not a premonition. Are you listening to me? (A little later, the soldier puts on his helmet.) SOLDIER: Okay, this is the official stuff. In the event of your death, your headcam memories will be stripped from your cerebral cortex and uploaded to your family drives. Anything gruesome or unsuitable for children, like actually dying for instance, will be tinted red. There's a language filter, which will cut any time you say.... (Out onto the battlements.) SOLDIER: Hedigar, this is the new guy. Don't scare him. HEDIGAR: Do you know why you're safe up here? SOLDIER: Don't do the speech. HEDIGAR: You said don't scare him. SOLDIER: The speech is what scares people. HEDIGAR: Almost nothing in the universe can get through a sky trench. Nothing in history's ever gotten through two. Up there, we've got four hundred of them. SOLDIER: Welcome to Arcadia. HEDIGAR: Safest place on Gallifrey. (Static - later.) SOLDIER: Okay, you take that one, I'll take this one. (Looking into a screen, observing the skies.) SOLDIER: He was right. Nothing can get past a sky trench. But if just one Dalek made it through, it could destroy this entire city. That's all it would take. One Dalek. One Dalek acting alone and we're finished. So you scan everything, clear? Everything you see, you scan it. See that little speck over there, a bird or something? Pretend its a Dalek. Zoom right in on that. All the way in. Use the vision stabilisers, turn up the enhancers to 10+, initialise the image lock. (It is a Dalek.) SOLDIER: That... that's not actually possible. Lock on to it. Lock on. That's not an hallucination. That's real. That's real! Track it. Track it wherever it goes. (Alarm sounds.) SOLDIER: Dalek incoming. Dalek incoming. Maximum alert. (And now an army of them flying in.) SOLDIER: Daleks incoming. Alert! Alert! (A Dalek fires at us, the screen turns red, a scream.) [Outside Coal Hill Secondary School] (A policeman is on his beat past the sign to I M Foreman's scrap yard at 76 Totter's Lane. Note - Chairman of the School Governors is I Chesterton.) CLARA [OC]: Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one. Marcus Aurelius. [Classroom] The end of class bell rings. A young man rushes in as the other students leave.) CLARA: Have you been running? TOM: Are you okay? There was a call for you at the office, from your doctor. CLARA: Did he leave an address? (He hands her a piece of paper. She grabs her motorcycle gear and leaves. The Tardis is parked on the side of a lonely country road. Clara sounds her horn and drives straight at it. The doors open to let her in.) [Tardis] (The Doctor is reading a book on Advanced Quantum Mechanics.) DOCTOR: Draught. (Clara clicks her fingers and the doors close.) DOCTOR: Fancy a week in ancient Mesopotamia followed by future Mars? CLARA: Will there be cocktails? DOCTOR: On the Moon. CLARA: The Moon'll do. (They laugh and embrace.) DOCTOR: How's the new job? Teach anything good? CLARA: No. Learn anything? DOCTOR: Not a thing. (They slap palms. Alert. Tardis interference detected.) CLARA: What's happening? DOCTOR: Whoa, whoa. We're taking off, but the engines aren't going. (Because the Tardis has been grabbed by a lifting grapple from a helicopter.) PILOT [OC]: Windmill Eleven to Greyhouse leader. Blue Eagle is airborne. Ready to receive. We're on our way. [Outside the White Tower] OSGOOD: Hello? Kate Stewart's phone. Oh, hold on. Excuse me. Ma'am. Ma'am! KATE: The ravens are looking a bit sluggish. Tell Malcolm they need new batteries. OSGOOD: It's him. Sorry, it's your personal phone, but, well, I recognised the ring tone. It's him, isn't it?  (She gets a bit breathless as she hand the phone over.) KATE: Inhaler. (Her assistant uses her inhaler. Notice the very long multicoloured scarf wrapped around her neck.) KATE: Doctor, hello. We found the Tardis in a field. I'm having it brought in. [Tardis] (The Doctor is hanging out of the door, using the external emergency telephone.) DOCTOR: No kidding. KATE [OC]: Where are you? (He holds the phone up towards the helicopter as they fly up the Thames.) [Outside the White Tower / Tardis] KATE: Oh, my god! Oh, Doctor, I'm so sorry. We had no idea you were still in there. Come on. PILOT [OC]: Roger. New heading two zero seven. Changing course. (The turn sends the Doctor out of the door. Clara manages to grab hold of his feet.) KATE: Doctor, can you hear me? I don't think he can hear me. DOCTOR: Next time, would it kill you to knock? KATE: I'm having you taken directly to the scene. Doctor, hello, are you okay? DOCTOR: Whoa! I'm just going to pop you on hold. (He changes position to hang onto the base of the Tardis with his hands.) KATE: Doctor? CLARA: Doctor! (They fly to - ) (Trafalgar Square] SOLDIER: Atten - shun! (The Doctor drops down before the Tardis is lowered to the ground and salutes Kate, Osgood and the squad of UNIT soldiers waiting for him.) DOCTOR: Why am I saluting? KATE: Doctor, as Chief Scientific Officer, may I extend the official apologies of UNIT DOCTOR: Kate Lethbridge Stewart, a word to the wise. As I'm sure your father would have told you, I don't like being picked up. CLARA: That probably sounded better in his head. KATE: I'm acting on instructions direct from the throne. Sealed orders from her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the First. CLARA: The Queen? The First? Sorry, Elizabeth the First? KATE: Her credentials are inside. (The Doctor is about to break the seal on the message when Kate points back to the National Gallery.) KATE: No. Inside. DOCTOR: (to Osgood) Nice scarf. KATE: What's our cover story for this? OSGOOD: Er, Derren Brown. KATE: Again? OSGOOD: Oh, we've sent him flowers. (The Doctor and Kate head up the steps to the gallery.) SOLDIER: Atten-shun! Right, I want a secure perimeter around the gallery. [National Gallery] CLARA: Did you know her, Elizabeth the First? DOCTOR: Unified Intelligence Task Force. CLARA: Sorry? DOCTOR: This lot. UNIT. They investigate alien stuff. Anything alien. CLARA: What, like you? DOCTOR: I work for them. CLARA: You have a job? DOCTOR: Why shouldn't I have a job? I'd be brilliant at having a job. CLARA: You don't have a job. DOCTOR: I do. This is my job. I'm doing it now. CLARA You never have a job. DOCTOR: I do. I do. (A painting is unveiled of an alien Citadel on fire and under attack.) KATE: Elizabeth's credentials, Doctor. CLARA: But, but that's not possible. DOCTOR: No more. KATE: That's the title. DOCTOR: I know the title. KATE: Also known as Gallifrey Falls. DOCTOR: This painting doesn't belong here, not in this time or place. CLARA: Obviously. DOCTOR: It's the fall of Arcadia, Gallifrey's second city. CLARA: But how is it doing that? How is that possible? It's an oil painting in 3D. (She steps forward and we can see that she is correct.) DOCTOR: Time Lord art. Bigger on the inside. A slice of real time, frozen. KATE: Elizabeth told us where to find it, and its significance. (The Doctor takes Clara's hand.) CLARA: You okay? DOCTOR: He was there. CLARA: Who was? DOCTOR: Me. The other me. The one I don't talk about. CLARA: I don't understand. DOCTOR: I've had many faces, many lives. I don't admit to all of them. There's one life I've tried very hard to forget. He was the Doctor who fought in the Time War, and that was the day he did it. The day I did it. The day he killed them all. The last day of the Time War. The war to end all wars between my people and the Daleks. And in that battle there was a man with more blood on his hands than any other, a man who would commit a crime that would silence the universe. And that man was me. [Arcadia] (We get treated to the battle scene with fleeing civilians, buildings being destroyed, flying Daleks and soldiers firing at them. Lots of explosions and deaths.) DALEKS: Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate. SOLDIER: Message for the High Council, Priority Omega. Arcadia has fallen. I repeat, Arcadia has fallen. (He sees the Type 40 Tardis with the stuck chameleon circuit, and its occupant comes towards him. This is the John Hurt Doctor No More version.) WARRIOR: Soldier, I'm going to need your gun. (He shoots at a concrete wall.) DALEKS: Exterminate! Exterminate. Exterminate! GALLIFREYAN: Please. Please, just don't. DALEK: Alert! Alert! The Doctor is detected. DALEKS: The Doctor is surrounded! DALEK: Inform High Command we have the Doctor. Seek, locate, destroy. (The Gallifreyan family sneak away. The Doctor has etched No More into the concrete wall.) DALEKS: Seek, locate, destroy. Seek (A Tardis smashes through, bashing the Daleks to pieces. DALEK: The Doctor is escaping. What are these words? Explain. Explain. [War room] (Inside the Citadel.) ANDROGAR: The High Council is in emergency session. They have plans of their own. GENERAL: To hell with the High Council. Their plans have already failed. Gallifrey's still in the line of fire. So, he was there then? ANDROGAR: He left a message, a written warning for the Daleks. He's a fool. GENERAL: No, he's a madman. ANDROGAR: As you can see, sir, all Dalek fleets surrounding the planet now converging on the capital, but the Sky Trenches are holding. (Boom! The building shakes.) GENERAL: Where did he go next? ANDROGAR: What does it matter? This is their biggest ever attack, sir. They're throwing everything at us TIME LADY: Sir, we have a security breach to the Time Vaults. GENERAL: The Omega Arsenal, where all the forbidden weapons are locked away. ANDROGAR: They're not forbidden any more. We've used them all against the Daleks. GENERAL: No. No we haven't. [Omega Arsenal] (A plinth is empty.) GENERAL: The Moment is gone. ANDROGAR: I don't understand. What is the Moment? I've never heard of it. GENERAL: The galaxy eater. The final work of the ancients of Gallifrey. A weapon so powerful, the operating system became sentient. According to legend, it developed a conscience. ANDROGAR: And we've never used it. GENERAL: How do you use a weapon of ultimate mass destruction when it can stand in judgment on you? There is only one man who would even try. [Desert planet] WARRIOR: Time Lords of Gallifrey, Daleks of Skaro, I serve notice on you all. Too long I have stayed my hand. No more. Today you leave me no choice. Today, this war will end. No more. No more. (The War Doctor, Other Doctor or Warrior as I prefer shifts the sack he is carrying on his back and enters a lonely barn.) [Barn]  (He puts down the sack and reveals a brass inlaid clockwork box.) WARRIOR: How, how do you work? Why is there never a big red button? (He hears scuffling noises, and opens the door.) WARRIOR: Hello? Is somebody there? MOMENT: It's nothing. (A blonde woman who looks exactly like Rose Tyler is sitting on the clockwork box.) MOMENT: It's just a wolf. WARRIOR: Don't sit on that! MOMENT: Why not? WARRIOR: Because it's not a chair, it's the most dangerous weapon in the universe. (He hurries her from the barn and closes the door behind her. And there she is, sitting on the box.) MOMENT: Why can't it be both? Why did you park so far away? Didn't you want her to see it? WARRIOR: Want who to see? MOMENT: The Tardis. You walked for miles, and miles and miles and miles and miles. WARRIOR: I was thinking MOMENT: I heard you. WARRIOR: You heard me? MOMENT: No more. No more. WARRIOR: No more. MOMENT: No more. No more. WARRIOR: Stop it. MOMENT: No more. WARRIOR: Who are you? (The clockwork in the box makes a noise.) WARRIOR: It's activating. Get out of here. (He tries to take hold of the box.) WARRIOR: Ow! MOMENT: What's wrong? WARRIOR: The interface is hot. MOMENT: Well, I do my best. WARRIOR: There's a power source inside. (penny drops) You're the interface? MOMENT: They must have told you the Moment had a conscience. Hello! Oh, look at you. Stuck between a girl and a box. Story of your life, eh, Doctor? WARRIOR: You know me? MOMENT: I hear you. All of you, jangling around in that dusty old head of yours. I chose this face and form especially for you. It's from your past. Or possibly your future. I always get those two mixed up. WARRIOR: I don't have a future. MOMENT: I think I'm called Rose Tyler. No. Yes. No, sorry, no, no, in this form, I'm called Bad Wolf. Are you afraid of the big bad wolf, Doctor? WARRIOR: Stop calling me Doctor. MOMENT: That's the name in your head. WARRIOR: It shouldn't be. I've been fighting this war for a long time. I've lost the right to be the Doctor. MOMENT: Then you're the one to save us all. WARRIOR: Yes. MOMENT: If I ever develop an ego, you've got the job. WARRIOR: If you have been inside my head, then you know what I've seen. The suffering. Every moment in time and space is burning. It must end, and I intend to end it the only way I can. MOMENT: And you're going to use me to end it by killing them all, Daleks and Time Lords alike. I could, but there will be consequences for you. WARRIOR: I have no desire to survive this. MOMENT: Then that's your punishment. If you do this, if you kill them all, then that's the consequence. You live. Gallifrey. You're going to burn it, and all those Daleks with it, but all those children too. How many children on Gallifrey right now? WARRIOR: I don't know. MOMENT: One day you will count them. One terrible night. Do you want to see what that will turn you into? Come on, aren't you curious? A whirling portal opens above them.) MOMENT: I'm opening windows on your future. A tangle in time through the days to come, to the man today will make of you. (A fez drops through the portal.) MOMENT: Okay, I wasn't expecting that. [National Gallery] CLARA: But the Time War's over. Why have you brought us here to look at a painting? KATE: The painting only serves as Elizabeth's credentials, proof that the letter is from her. It's not why you're here. (The Doctor breaks the wax seal and unfolds the paper.) ELIZABETH [OC]: My dearest love, I hope the painting known as Gallifrey Falls will serve as proof that it is your Elizabeth who writes to you now. You will recall that you pledged yourself to the safety of my kingdom. In this capacity I have appointed you as curator of the Under Gallery, where deadly danger to England is locked away. Should any disturbance occur within its walls, it is my wish that you be summoned. God speed, gently husband. DOCTOR: What happened? KATE: Easier to show you. (The Doctor and Clara leave with Kate. The man with Osgood answers his phone.) MCGILLOP: McGillop. But that's not possible. I was just. Understood, sir. But why would I take it there? (Meanwhile, a metal shutter comes down behind the Doctor and Clara as they stand in front of a painting on wood of Gloriana herself.) CLARA: Elizabeth the First. You knew her, then? (And next to Gloriana in the painting, in period costume, is David Tennant.) DOCTOR: A long time ago. [England, 1562] (The Tardis is parked in a meadow in the bend of a river. The door is opened, and the previous Doctor gallops out on a white horse, with a red-headed lady on the pillion.) DOCTOR 10: Allons-y! There you go, your Majesty, what did I tell you? Bigger on the inside. ELIZABETH: The door isn't. You nearly took my head off. It's normally me who does that. (Reclining on cushions near a tent flying the royal pennant.) ELIZABETH: Tell me, Doctor, why I'm wasting my time on you. I have wars to plan. DOCTOR 10: You have a picnic to eat. ELIZABETH: You could help me. DOCTOR 10: Well, I'm helping you eat the picnic. ELIZABETH: But you have a stomach for war. This face has seen conflict, it's as clear as day. DOCTOR 10: Oh, I've seen conflict like you wouldn't believe. But it wasn't this face. But never mind that, your Majesty. Up on your feet. Up, up. ELIZABETH: How dare you? I'm the Queen of England. DOCTOR 10: I'm not English. Elizabeth, will you marry me? ELIZABETH: Oh, my dear sweet love. Of course I will. DOCTOR 10: Ah, gotcha! ELIZABETH: My love? DOCTOR 10: One, the real Elizabeth would never have accepted my marriage proposal. Two, the real Elizabeth would notice when I just casually mentioned having a different face. But then the real Elizabeth isn't a shape-shifting alien from outer space. And (He holds out a clockwork gizmo.) DOCTOR 10: Ding. ELIZABETH: What's that? DOCTOR 10: It's a machine that goes ding. Made it myself. Lights up in the presence of shape-shifter DNA. Ooo. Also it can microwave frozen dinners from up to twenty feet and download comics from the future. I never know when to stop. ELIZABETH: My love, I do not understand. DOCTOR 10: I'm not your love, and yes you do. You're a Zygon. ELIZABETH: A Zygon? DOCTOR 10: Oh, stop it. It's over. A Zygon, yes. Big red rubbery thing covered in suckers. Surprisingly good kisser. Think the real Queen of England would just decide to share her throne with any old handsome bloke in a tight suit, just cos he's got amazing hair and a nice horse? Oh. (No more white horse. Instead, there's the Zygon.) DOCTOR 10: It was the horse. I'm going to be King. Run! ELIZABETH: What's happening? DOCTOR 10: We're being attacked by a shape-shifting alien from outer space, formerly disguised as my horse. (They run into a ruined building.) ELIZABETH: What does that mean? DOCTOR 10: It means we're going to need a new horse. ELIZABETH: Where's it going? DOCTOR 10: I'll hold it off. You run. Your people need you. ELIZABETH: And I need you alive for our wedding day. (Elizabeth kisses him, then runs.) DOCTOR 10: Oh, good work, Doctor. Nice one. The Virgin Queen? So much for history. (Elizabeth runs through the trees while the Doctor tries to lure the Zygon. She screams and the Doctor comes running. His gizmo is dinging a lot.) DOCTOR 10: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, very clever. (He talks to a lop-eared rabbit.) DOCTOR 10: Whatever you've got planned, forget it. I'm the Doctor. I'm nine hundred and four years old. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I am the Oncoming Storm, the Bringer of Darkness, and you are basically just a rabbit, aren't you? Okay, carry on. Just a general warning. ELIZABETH [OC]: Doctor! DOCTOR 10: Elizabeth! (He finds her lying on the ground.) ELIZABETH: That thing. Explain what it is. What does it want of us? DOCTOR 10: That's what I'm trying to find out. Probably just your planet. (A second Elizabeth walks up.) ELIZABETH 2: Doctor. Step away from her, Doctor. That's not me. That's the creature. ELIZABETH: How is that possible? She's me. Doctor, she's me! (The Doctor tries to use his gizmo.) ELIZABETH 2: I am indeed me. A compliment that cannot be extended to yourself. ELIZABETH: Extraordinary. The creature has captured my exact likeness. This is exceptional. ELIZABETH 2: Exceptional? A Queen would call it impertinent. ELIZABETH: A Queen would feel compelled to admire the skill of the execution, before arranging one. DOCTOR 10: It's not working. ELIZABETH: One might surmise that the creature would learn quickly to protect itself from any simple means of detection. ELIZABETH 2: Clearly you understand the creature better than I. But then, you have the advantage. (A vortex appears in the air.) DOCTOR 10: Back, both of you, now! That's a time fissure. A tear in the fabric of reality. Anything could happen. (A red fez drops out of it.) DOCTOR: 10: For instance, a fez. [National Gallery] (The portrait of the 10th Doctor and Elizabeth is concealing a door.) KATE: This way. [Under Gallery] KATE: Welcome to the Under Gallery. This is where Elizabeth the First kept all art deemed too dangerous for public consumption. (The Doctor scoops up a handful of the sand on the floor in between two rows of statues covered with dust sheets.) DOCTOR: Stone dust. KATE: Is it important? DOCTOR: In twelve hundred years I've never stepped in anything that wasn't. (Osgood makes a noise.) DOCTOR: Oi, you. Are you sciency? OSGOOD: Oh, er, well, er, yes. DOCTOR: Got a name? OSGOOD: Yes. DOCTOR: Good. I've always wanted to meet someone called Yes. Now, I want this stone dust analysed. And I want a report in triplicate, with lots of graphs and diagrams and complicated sums on my desk, tomorrow morning, ASAP, pronto, L O L. See? Job. Do I have a desk? KATE: No. DOCTOR: And I want a desk. KATE: Get a team. Analyse the stone dust. Inhaler! (Further into the under gallery, the Doctor spots the red fez in a display case. He takes it out and puts it on.) CLARA: Someday, you could just walk past a fez. DOCTOR: Never gonna happen. (And into another room with broken glass on the floor and alien 'paintings' along the wall.) SCIENTIST: As you instructed, nothing has been touched. KATE: This is why we called you in. CLARA: 3D again. DOCTOR: Interesting. CLARA: The broken glass? DOCTOR: No, where it's broken from. Look at the shatter pattern. The glass on all these paintings has been broken from the inside. KATE: As you can see, all the paintings are landscapes. No figures of any kind. DOCTOR: So? KATE: There used to be. (She hands him a pad with the original image on it.) CLARA: Something's got out the paintings. DOCTOR: Lots of somethings. Dangerous. KATE: This whole place has been searched. There's nothing here that shouldn't be, and nothing's got out. (Enter the time fissure.) DOCTOR: Oh no, not now. CLARA: Doctor, what is it? DOCTOR: No, not now. I'm busy. KATE: Is it to do with the paintings? DOCTOR: No, no. This is different. I remember this. Almost remember. Oh, of course. This is where I come in. (He throws the fez into the fissure.) DOCTOR: Geronimo! (And leaps into it himself.) CLARA: Doctor! KATE: Wait! [Woods, 1562] (And lands heavily.) DOCTOR: Oof! (Doctor 10 puts on the fez.) ELIZABETH: Who is this man? DOCTOR 10: That's just what I was wondering. DOCTOR: Oh, that is skinny. That is proper skinny. I've never seen it from the outside. It's like a special effect. Oi! (He knocks the fez to the ground.) DOCTOR: Ha! Matchstick man. DOCTOR 10: You're not. (They both get out their sonic screwdrivers. 11's is bigger and better.) DOCTOR 10: Compensating. DOCTOR: For what? DOCTOR 10: Regeneration. It's a lottery. DOCTOR: Oh, he's cool. Isn't he cool? I'm the Doctor and I'm all cool. Oops, I'm wearing sandshoes. DOCTOR 10: What are you doing here? I'm busy. DOCTOR: Oh, busy. I see. Is that what we're calling it, eh? Eh? (He puts on his fez and turns to the two Elizabeths.) DOCTOR: Hello, ladies. DOCTOR 10: Don't start. DOCTOR: Listen, what you get up to in the privacy of your own regeneration is your business. DOCTOR 10: One of them is a Zygon. DOCTOR: Urgh. I'm not judging you. (The time fissure reappears. They both put on their glasses, then notice each other.) BOTH: Oh, lovely. DOCTOR: Your Majesties. Probably a good time to run. ELIZABETHS: But what about the creature? DOCTOR 10: Elizabeth, whichever one of you is the real one, turn and run in the opposite direction to the other one. ELIZABETHS: Of course, my love. ELIZABETH: Stay alive, my love. I am not done with you yet. (She kisses Doctor 10 and leaves.) DOCTOR 10: Thanks. Lovely. ELIZABETH 2: I understand. Live for me, my darling. We shall be together again. (Another kiss and run.) DOCTOR 10: Well, won't that be nice? DOCTOR: One of those was a Zygon. DOCTOR 10: Yeah. DOCTOR: Big red rubbery thing covered in suckers. DOCTOR 10: Yeah. DOCTOR: Venom sacs in the tongue. DOCTOR 10: Yeah, I'm getting the point, thank you. DOCTOR: Nice. CLARA [OC]: Doctor, is that you? DOCTOR: Ah, hello, Clara. Can you hear me? [Under Gallery / Woods] CLARA: Yeah, it's me. We can hear you. Where are you? DOCTOR: Where are we? DOCTOR 10: England, 1562. CLARA: Who are you talking to? DOCTORS: Myself. KATE: Can you come back through? DOCTOR: Physical passage may not be possible in both directions. Its. Ah! Hang on. Fez incoming! CLARA: Nothing here. DOCTOR 10: So where did it go? [Barn] CLARA [OC]: Who's he talking to? KATE [OC]: He said himself. [Under Gallery] KATE: Keep him talking. (She uses her mobile as she leaves.) KATE: Malcolm? Malcolm, I need you to send me one of my father's incident files. Codenamed Cromer. 70s or 80s depending on the dating protocol. (Something growls as it watches her go.) [Woods, 1562] DOCTOR 10: Okay, you used to be me, you've done all this before. What happens next? DOCTOR: I don't remember. DOCTOR 10: How can you forget this? DOCTOR: Hey, hang on. It's not my fault. You're obviously not paying enough attention. Reverse the polarity! (They both aim their sonic screwdrivers at the fissure.) DOCTOR: It's not working. DOCTOR 10: We're both reversing the polarity. DOCTOR: Yes, I know that. DOCTOR 10: There's two of us. I'm reversing it, you're reversing it back again. We're confusing the polarity. (The Warrior drops through the time fissure.) WARRIOR: Anyone lose a fez? DOCTOR 10: You. How can you be here? More to the point, why are you here? WARRIOR: Good afternoon. I'm looking for the Doctor. DOCTOR 10: Well, you've certainly come to the right place. WARRIOR: Good. Right. Well, who are you boys? Oh, of course. Are you his companions? DOCTOR: His companions? WARRIOR: They get younger all the time. Well, if you could point me in the general direction of the Doctor? (They both demonstrate their sonic screwdrivers.) WARRIOR: Really? DOCTOR: Yeah. DOCTOR 10: Really. WARRIOR: You're me? Both of you? DOCTOR 10: Yep. WARRIOR: Even that one? DOCTOR: Yes! WARRIOR: You're my future selves? BOTH: Yes! WARRIOR: Am I having a midlife crisis? Why are you pointing your screwdrivers like that? They're scientific instruments, not water pistols. Look like you've seen a ghost. DOCTOR 10: Still, loving the posh gravelly thing. It's very convincing. DOCTOR: Brave words, Dick van Dyke. (A troop of soldiers run up, lead by a nobleman.) BENTHAM: Encircle them. Which of you is the Doctor? The Queen of England is bewitched. I would have the Doctor's head. WARRIOR: Well, this has all the makings of your lucky day. [Under Gallery] (Kate returns.) CLARA: I think there's three of them now. [Woods, 1562] KATE [OC]: There's a precedent for that. BENTHAM: What is that? WARRIOR: Oh, the pointing again. They're screwdrivers! What are you going to do, assemble a cabinet at them? BENTHAM: That thing, what witchcraft is it? DOCTOR: Ah, yes. Now that you mention it, that is witchcraft. Yes, yes, yes. Witchy witchcraft. Hello? Hello in there. Excuse me. Hello! [Under Gallery] DOCTOR [OC]: Am I talking to the wicked witch of the well? KATE: He means you. CLARA: Why am I the witch? DOCTOR [OC]: Clara? CLARA: Hello? [Woods, 1562 / Under Gallery] DOCTOR: Clara, hi, hello. Hello. Would you mind telling these prattling mortals to get themselves begone? CLARA: What he said. DOCTOR: Yes, tiny bit more colour. CLARA: Right. Prattling mortals, off you pop, or I'll turn you all into frogs. DOCTOR: Ooo, frogs. Nice. You heard her. CLARA: Doctor, what's going on? [Woods, 1562] DOCTOR: It's a timey-wimey thing. WARRIOR: Timey what? Timey-wimey? DOCTOR 10: I've no idea where he picks that stuff up. (Enter an Elizabeth. The soldiers fall to their knee.) SOLDIERS: The Queen. The Queen. ELIZABETH: You don't seem to be kneeling. How tremendously brave of you. DOCTOR 10: Which one are you? What happened to the other one? ELIZABETH: Indisposed. Long live the Queen. SOLDIERS: Long live the Queen. ELIZABETH: Arrest these men. Take them to the Tower. DOCTOR 10: That is not the Queen of England, that's an alien duplicate. DOCTOR: And you can take it from him, cos he's really checked. DOCTOR 10: Oh, shut up. DOCTOR: Venom sacs in the tongue. DOCTOR 10: Seriously, stop it. DOCTOR: No, hang on. The Tower. [Under Gallery] DOCTOR [OC]: Did you say the Tower? Ah, yes, brilliant. Love the Tower. [Woods, 1562] DOCTOR: Breakfast at eight, please. Will there be Wi-Fi? WARRIOR: Are you capable of speaking without flapping your hands about? DOCTOR: Yes. No. I demand to be incarcerated in the Tower immediately with my co-conspirators Sandshoes and Granddad. WARRIOR: Granddad? DOCTOR 10: They're not sandshoes. WARRIOR: Yes, they are. ELIZABETH: Silence. The Tower is not to be taken lightly. [Under Gallery] ELIZABETH [OC]: Very few emerge again. KATE: Dear God, that man's clever. Come on. CLARA: Where are we going? KATE: My office, otherwise known as the Tower of London. [Tower dungeons] WARDER: Come on, you lot, get in there. WARRIOR: Ow. (The warder leaves, shutting the door behind him. The Doctor finds a piece of metal bar and starts scratching on a stone pillar.) DOCTOR: Three of us in one cell? That's going to cause some nasty anomalies if we don't get out soon. DOCTOR 10: What are you doing? DOCTOR: Getting us out. (The Warrior is using his sonic screwdriver on the wooden door.) DOCTOR 10: The sonic won't work on that, it's too primitive. DOCTOR: Shall we ask for a better quality of door so we can escape? DOCTOR 10: Okay, so the Queen of England is now a Zygon. But never mind that. Why are we all together? Why are we all here? Well, me and Chinny, we were surprised, but you came looking for us. You knew it was going to happen. Who told you? (Moment Rose is holding a finger to her lips.) DOCTOR: Oi, Chinny? DOCTOR 10: Yeah, you do have a chin. [Under Gallery] (The stone dust is being analysed.) OSGOOD: Marble, granite. A lot of different stone, but none of it from the fabric of the building. It's like somebody smashed up a lot of old statues. Are there any missing? MCGILLOP: Don't think so. Why would anyone do that, anyway? I mean, I know we're meant to keep an open mind, but are we supposed to believe in creatures that can hide in oil paintings and have some sort of a grudge against statues? You all right? (Osgood uses her inhaler.) OSGOOD: We have to go, right now, this minute. MCGILLOP: What's wrong? OSGOOD: The things from the paintings. I know why they smashed the statues. MCGILLOP: Why? OSGOOD: Because they needed somewhere to hide. (The nearby statues raise their dust sheets. Zygons! They attack McGillop first, and Osgood runs.) [National Gallery] (Osgood gets into the National Gallery and shuts the door, but a Zygon smashes through the painting of Elizabeth and the tenth Doctor. She gets into the open lift but it will not move, so she slumps in the far corner.) OSGOOD: The Doctor will save me. The Doctor will save me. The Doctor will save me. The Doctor will save me. The Doctor will save me. (The Zygon transforms.) OSGOOD-Z: Excuse me. I'm going to need my inhaler. I so hate it when I get one with a defect. Ooo, you've got some perfectly horrible memories in here, haven't you? So jealous of your pretty sister. I don't blame you. I wish I'd copied her. OSGOOD: So do I! (The Zygon is standing on the end of Osgood's scarf, so she gives it a sharp tug and down goes her duplicate, allowing her to escape.) OSGOOD-Z: Oh, for goodness sake. [Tower environs] KATE: The Doctor will be trying to send us a message. We're looking for a string of numerals from around 1550, approximately. Priority One. I'm going to need access to the Black Archive. [Black Archive corridor] KATE: The Black Archive. Highest security rating on the planet. The entire staff have their memories wiped at the end of every shift. Automated memory filters in the ceiling. Access, please. ATKINS: Ma'am. (Kate hands him her key.) KATE: Atkins, isn't it? ATKINS: Yes, ma'am. First day here. KATE: (sotto) Been here ten years. [Black Archive] CLARA: Lock and key? Bit basic, isn't it? KATE: Can't afford electronic security down here. Got to keep the Doctor out. The whole of the Tower is Tardis-proofed. He really wouldn't approve of the collection. CLARA: But you let me in. KATE: You have a top level security rating from your last visit. CLARA: Sorry, my what? KATE: Apologies. We have to screen all his known associates. We can't have information about the Doctor and the Tardis falling into the wrong hands. The consequences could be disastrous. CLARA: What is that? KATE: Time travel. A vortex manipulator bequeathed to the UNIT archive by Captain Jack Harkness on the occasion of his death. Well, one of them. No one can know we have this, not even our allies. CLARA: Why not? KATE: Think about it. Americans with the ability to rewrite history? You've seen their movies. CLARA: Okay, so this is how we're going to rescue the Doctor. KATE: I'm not sure there's enough power for a two-way trip. In any event, we don't have the activation code. The Doctor knows we have this, so he's always kept the code from us. Let's hope he changes his mind. (Her phone rings.) KATE: Yes? Well, if you've found it, photograph it and send it to my phone. (Clara spots Osgood and McGillop.) CLARA: Er, Kate? Should they be here? Why have they followed us? KATE: Oh, they've probably just finished disposing of the humans a bit early. CLARA: The humans? KATE: Dear me. I really do get into character, don't I? (Kate spits some venom at Clara, then transforms into a Zygon.) OSGOOD-Z: The Under Gallery is secured. (The numbers on the photograph on Kate's phone include 231163. Clara grabs the vortex manipulator, puts it on and copies them into it.) ZYGON: Prepare to dispose of one more human. We have acquired the device. CLARA: Activation code, right? (She disappears.) [Tower dungeon] (The Doctor is still scratching his message.) WARRIOR: In theory, I can trigger an isolated sonic shift among the molecules, and the door should disintegrate. DOCTOR 10: We'd have to calculate the exact harmonic resonance of the entire structure down to a sub-atomic level. Even the sonic would take years. WARRIOR: No, no, the sonic would take centuries. Oh, we might as well get started. Help to pass the timey-wimey. Do you have to talk like children? What is it that makes you so ashamed of being a grown up? Oh, the way you both look at me. What is that? I'm trying to think of a better word than dread. DOCTOR 10: It must be really recent for you. WARRIOR: Recent? DOCTOR: The Time War. The last day. The day you killed them all. DOCTOR 10: The day we killed them all. DOCTOR: Same thing. MOMENT: It's history for them. All decided. They think their future is real. They don't know it's still up to you. WARRIOR: I don't talk about it. DOCTOR 10: You're not talking about it. There's no one else here. MOMENT: Go on, ask them. Ask them what you need to know. WARRIOR: Did you ever count? DOCTOR: Count what? WARRIOR: How many children there were on Gallifrey that day. (The Doctor stops his scratching.) DOCTOR: I have absolutely no idea. WARRIOR: How old are you now? DOCTOR: Ah, I don't know. I lose track. Twelve hundred and something, I think, unless I'm lying. I can't remember if I'm lying about my age, that's how old I am. WARRIOR: Four hundred years older than me, and in all that time you've never even wondered how many there were? You never once counted? DOCTOR: Tell me, what would be the point? DOCTOR 10: Two point four seven billion. WARRIOR: You did count! DOCTOR 10: You forgot? Four hundred years, is that all it takes? DOCTOR: I moved on. DOCTOR 10: Where? Where can you be now that you can forget something like that? DOCTOR: Spoilers. DOCTOR 10: No. No, no, no. For once I would like to know where I'm going. DOCTOR: No, you really wouldn't. WARRIOR: I don't know who you are, either of you. I haven't got the faintest idea. MOMENT: They're you. They're what you become if you destroy Gallifrey. The man who regrets and the man who forgets. The moment is coming. The Moment is me. You have to decide. WARRIOR: No. DOCTOR 10: No? WARRIOR: Just, no. (The Doctor laughs.) DOCTOR 10: Is something funny? Did I miss a funny thing? DOCTOR: Sorry. It just occured to me. This is what I'm like when I'm alone. MOMENT: It's the same screwdriver. Same software, different case. WARRIOR: Four hundred years. DOCTOR 10: I'm sorry? WARRIOR: At a software level, they're all the same device, aren't they. Same software, different case. DOCTOR 10: Yeah. DOCTOR: So. WARRIOR: So, it would take centuries for the screwdriver to calculate how to disintegrate the door. Scanning the door, implanting the calculation as a permanent subroutine in the software architecture and, if you really are me, with your sandshoes and your dickie bow, and that screwdriver is still mine, that calculation is still going on. DOCTOR 10: Yeah, still going. DOCTOR: Calculation complete. MOMENT: Same software, different face. DOCTOR: Hey, four hundred years in four seconds. We may have had our differences, which is frankly odd in the circumstances, but, I tell you what, boys. We are incredibly clever. (Clara opens the door and nearly falls in.) DOCTOR: How did you do that? CLARA: It wasn't locked. DOCTOR: Right. CLARA: So they're both you, then, yeah? DOCTOR: Yes. You've met them before. Don't you remember? CLARA: A bit. Nice suit. DOCTOR 10: Thanks. CLARA: Hang on. Three of you in one cell, and none of you thought to try the door? WARRIOR: It should have been locked. DOCTOR: Yes. Exactly. Why wasn't it locked? ELIZABETH: Because I was fascinated to see what you would do upon escaping. I understand you're rather fond of this world. It's time I think you saw what's going to happen to it. [Under Gallery] (The real Osgood hears moaning from beneath a dust sheet, and notices a shoe sticking out from underneath. She pulls it off to reveal another sheet of red suckers covering a human.) OSGOOD: Kate? Oh goodness, you're not actually dead. Oh, that's tremendous news. Those creatures, they turn themselves into copies. And they need to keep the original alive, refresh the image so to speak. KATE: Where, where did they go? OSGOOD: I don't know. Oh, hang on, yes, I do. The Tower. KATE: If those creatures have got access to the Black Archive, we may just have lost control of the planet. [Zygon control centre] (Another part of the Tower dungeons.) ELIZABETH: The Zygons lost their own world. It burnt in the first days of the Time War. A new home is required. CLARA: So they want this one. ELIZABETH: Not yet. It's far too primitive. Zygons are used to a certain level of comfort. ZYGON: Commander, why are these creatures here? ELIZABETH: Because I say they should be. It is time you too were translated. Observe this. I believe you will find it fascinating. (The Zygon puts his hand on a glass cube with dents in the corners, then vanishes. The 3D landscape painting from the Under Gallery is nearby.) CLARA: That's him! That's the Zygon in the picture now. WARRIOR: It's not a picture, it's a stasis cube. Time Lord art. Frozen instants in time, bigger on the inside, but could be deployed as DOCTOR 10: Suspended animation. Oh, that's very good. The Zygons all pop inside the pictures, wait a few centuries till the planet's a bit more interesting, and then out they come. DOCTOR: You see, Clara, they're stored in the paintings in the Under Gallery, like cup-a-soups. Except you add time, if you can picture that. Nobody could picture that. Forget I said cup-a-soups. CLARA: And now the world is worth conquering. So the Zygons are invading the future from the past. DOCTOR: Exactly. DOCTOR 10: And do you know why I know that you're a fake? Because you're such a bad copy. It's not just the smell, or the unconvincing hair, or the atrocious teeth, or the eyes just a bit too close together, or the breath that could stun a horse. It's because my Elizabeth, the real Elizabeth, would never be stupid enough to reveal her own plan. Honestly, why would you do that? ELIZABETH: Because it's not my plan. And I am the real Elizabeth. DOCTOR 10: Okay. So, backtracking a moment just to lend context to my earlier remarks. ELIZABETH: My twin is dead in the forest. I am accustomed to taking precautions. (She produces a dagger from the garter beneath her skirts.) ELIZABETH: These Zygon creatures never even considered that it was me who survived rather than their own commander. The arrogance that typifies their kind. CLARA: Zygons? ELIZABETH: Men. CLARA: And you actually killed one of them? ELIZABETH: I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but at the time, so did the Zygon. The future of my kingdom is imperilled. Doctor, can I rely on your service? DOCTOR 10: Well, I'm going to need my Tardis. ELIZABETH: It has been procured already. DOCTOR 10: Ah. ELIZABETH: But first, my love, you have a promise to keep. [Castle courtyard] CLERGYMAN: I now pronounce you man and wife. CLARA: Woo hoo! CLERGYMAN: You may kiss the bride. (Elizabeth does the enthusiastic kissing.) WARRIOR: Is there a lot of this in the future? DOCTOR: It does start to happen, yeah. ELIZABETH: God speed, my love. DOCTOR 10: I will be right back. (He runs into the Tardis and starts cranking her up.) DOCTOR: Right then, back to the future. [Tardis] WARRIOR: You've let this place go a bit. DOCTOR: Ah, it's his grunge phase. He grows out of it. DOCTOR 10: Don't you listen to them. (An alarm sounds. The tenth Doctor gets an electric shock.) DOCTOR 10: Ow! The desktop is glitching. WARRIOR: Three of us from different time zones. It's trying to compensate. DOCTOR: Hey, look. The round things. DOCTOR 10: I love the round things. DOCTOR: What are the round things? DOCTOR 10: No idea. DOCTOR: Oh dear, the friction contrafibulator. Ha! There, stabilised. (The desktop changes again.) DOCTOR 10: (channelling Doctor 2) Oh, you've redecorated. I don't like it. DOCTOR: Oh. Oh yeah? Oh, you never do. Listen, we're going to the National Gallery. The Zygons are underneath it. CLARA: No, UNIT HQ. They followed us there in the Black Archive. (She gets three stares.) CLARA: Okay, so you've heard of that, then. [Black Archive] MCGILLOP-Z: The equipment here is phenomenal. The humans don't realise what half this stuff does. We could conquer their world in a day. ZYGON: We were fortunate, then, in our choice of duplicate. MCGILLOP-Z: If I were human, I'd say it was Christmas. (Humans Kate and Osgood enter.) KATE: No, I'm afraid you wouldn't. We're not armed. You may relax. ZYGON: We are armed. You may not. KATE: Lock the door. I'm afraid we can't be interrupted. You don't mind if I get comfortable? ZYGON: You don't mind if I do? (The Zygon transforms into Kate, and sits down opposite her at the table.) KATE: You'll realise there are protocols protecting this place. Osgood? OSGOOD: In the event of any alien incursion, the contents of this room are deemed so dangerous, it will self-destruct in KATE: Five minutes. (The alarm sounds and the countdown starts.) KATE: There's a nuclear warhead twenty feet beneath us. Are you sitting comfortably? KATE-Z: You would destroy London? KATE: To save the world, yes, I would. KATE-Z: You're bluffing. KATE: You really think so? Somewhere in your memory is a man called Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart. I am his daughter. DOCTOR [OC]: Science leads, Kate. Is that what you meant? Is that what your father meant? KATE: Doctor? DOCTOR [OC]: Space-Time Telegraph, Kate. A gift from me to your father, hotline straight to the Tardis. [Tardis] DOCTOR: I know about the Black Archive and I know about the security protocol. Kate, please. Please tell me you are not about to do something unbelievably stupid. KATE [OC]: I'm sorry, Doctor. Switch it off. DOCTOR 10: Not as sorry as you will be. This is not a decision you will ever be able to live with. DOCTOR: Kate, we're trying to bring the Tardis in. Why can't we land? KATE [OC]: I said, switch it off. DOCTOR: No, Kate, please. Just listen to me! DOCTOR 10: The Tower of London, totally Tardis-proof. CLARA: How can they do that? DOCTOR: Alien technology plus human stupidity. Trust me, it's unbeatable. (A stasis cube is on the console.) WARRIOR: We don't need to land. DOCTOR 10: Yeah, we do. A tiny bit. Try and keep up. WARRIOR: No, we don't. We don't. There is another way. Cup-a-soup. What is cup-a-soup? [National Gallery] (Back we go to an earlier scene.) DOCTOR: What happened? KATE: Easier to show you. (The Doctor, Kate and Clara leave. McGillop answers his phone.) MCGILLOP: McGillop. [Tardis / National Gallery] DOCTOR: Take a look at your phone and confirm who you're talking to. MCGILLOP: But that's not possible. I was just DOCTOR: You were just talking to me. I know. I'm a time traveller, figure it out. I need you to send the Gallifrey Falls painting to the Black Archive. Understood?  MCGILLOP: Understood, sir. But why would I take it there? [Black Archive] (2:59 and counting.) KATE-Z: One word from you would cancel the countdown. KATE: Quite so. KATE-Z: It's keyed to your voiceprint. KATE: And mine alone. KATE-Z: Cancel the detonation! KATE: Countermanded. KATE-Z: Cancel the detonation. KATE: Countermanded. KATE-Z: We only have to agree to live. KATE: Sadly, we can only agree to die. OSGOOD: Please, Doctor. Please save us. Please save us. Please save us. [Gallifrey Falls] (Time begins to move inside the 3D painting, which contains three extra figures by the image of an exploding Dalek.) DALEK: Exterminate! (Three sonic screwdrivers send the unhappy pepperpot crashing out of the painting and into -) [Black Archive] (Followed by three of the same Time Lord. The Dalek expires.) WARRIOR: Hello. DOCTOR 10: I'm the Doctor. DOCTOR: Sorry about the Dalek. CLARA: Also the showing off. DOCTOR: Kate Lethbridge Stewart, what in the name of sanity are you doing? KATE: The countdown can only be halted at my personal command. There's nothing you can do. DOCTOR 10: Except make you both agree to halt it. KATE: Not even three of you. WARRIOR: You're about to murder millions of people. KATE: To save billions. How many times have you made that calculation? (1:36) DOCTOR: Once. Turned me into the man I am now. I'm not even sure who that is any more. DOCTOR 10: You tell yourself it's justified, but it's a lie. Because what I did that day was wrong. Just wrong. (The Warrior turns to look at the Moment.) DOCTOR: And, because I got it wrong, I'm going to make you get it right. KATE: How? DOCTOR 10: Any second now, you're going to stop that countdown. Both of you, together. DOCTOR: Then you're going to negotiate the most perfect treaty of all time. DOCTOR 10: Safeguards all round, completely fair on both sides. DOCTOR: And the key to perfect negotiation? DOCTOR 10: Not knowing what side you're on. DOCTOR: So, for the next few hours, until we decide to let you out DOCTOR 10: No one in this room will be able to remember if they're human DOCTOR: Or Zygon. DOCTOR: Whoops a daisy. (He jumps on to the table. Three screwdrivers do something to the memory filter in the ceiling. The countdown reaches 7 as the humans look befuddled.) KATES: Cancel the detonation! (It stops at 5.) DOCTOR: Peace in our time. (As the Kates talk in the background.) OSGOOD-Z: It's funny, isn't it. If I'm a Zygon, then my clothes must be Zygon, too. So, what happens if I lose a shoe or something? (Osgood coughs, and her duplicate returns the inhaler with a shush gesture. Meanwhile, Clara explores the photo array of past companions, starting with the Doctor's granddaughter, Susan. Then she goes to the Warrior, who is sitting in the seventh Doctor's big leather chair.) CLARA: Hello. WARRIOR: Hello. CLARA: I'm Clara. We haven't really met yet. WARRIOR: I look forward to it. Is there a problem? CLARA: The Doctor, my, my Doctor, he's always talking about the day he did it. The day he wiped out the Time Lords to stop the war. WARRIOR: One would. CLARA: You wouldn't. Because you haven't done it yet. It's still in your future. WARRIOR: You're very sure of yourself. CLARA: He regrets it. I see it in his eyes every day. He'd do anything to change it. WARRIOR: Including saving all these people. How many worlds has his regret saved, do you think? Look over there. Humans and Zygons working together in peace. How did you know? CLARA: Your eyes. You're so much younger. WARRIOR: Then, all things considered, it's time I grew up. I've seen all I needed. The moment has come. (The Moment is standing nearby, watching them.) WARRIOR: I'm ready. MOMENT: I know you are. CLARA: Who's there? Who were you talking to? (The Warrior, Doctor Eight point five, has vanished.) [Barn] MOMENT: You wanted a big red button. (A red, rose-like button stands on a stalk above the Moment box.) MOMENT: One big bang, no more Time Lords. No more Daleks. Are you sure? WARRIOR: I was sure when I came in here. There is no other way. MOMENT: You've seen the men you will become. WARRIOR: Those men. Extraordinary. MOMENT: They were you. WARRIOR: No. They are the Doctor. MOMENT: You're the Doctor, too. WARRIOR: No. Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame, whatever the cost. (His hand hesitates over the button as he recalls the sound of children's laughter.) MOMENT: You know the sound the Tardis makes? That wheezing, groaning. That sound brings hope wherever it goes. WARRIOR: Yes. Yes, I like to think it does. MOMENT: To anyone who hears it, Doctor. Anyone, however lost. (The sound of the time rotor is heard.) MOMENT: Even you. (Two Tardises park themselves in the barn. Enter the Doctors and Clara.) CLARA: I told you. He hasn't done it yet. WARRIOR: Go away now, all of you. This is for me. DOCTOR 10: These events should be time-locked. We shouldn't even be here. DOCTOR: So something let us through. MOMENT: You clever boys. WARRIOR: Go back. Go back to your lives. Go and be the Doctor that I could never be. Make it worthwhile. DOCTOR 10: All those years, burying you in my memory. DOCTOR: Pretending you didn't exist. Keeping you a secret, even from myself. DOCTOR 10: Pretending you weren't the Doctor, when you were the Doctor more than anybody else. DOCTOR: You were the Doctor on the day it wasn't possible to get it right. DOCTOR 10: But this time DOCTOR: You don't have to do it alone. (They put their hands on the button together.) WARRIOR: Thank you. DOCTOR 10: What we do today is not out of fear or hatred. It is done because there is no other way. DOCTOR: And it is done in the name of the many live we are failing to save. (He looks at Clara, who shakes her head.) DOCTOR: What? What is it? What? CLARA: Nothing. DOCTOR: No, it's something. Tell me. CLARA: You told me you wiped out your own people. I just. I never pictured you doing it, that's all. MOMENT: Take a closer look. (It suddenly goes dark.) CLARA: What's happening? WARRIOR: Nothing. It's a projection. MOMENT: It's a reality around you. (They are seeing Gallifrey at war.) CLARA: These are the people you're going to burn? DOCTOR 10: There isn't anything we can do. DOCTOR: He's right. There isn't another way. There never was. Either I destroy my own people or let the universe burn. CLARA: Look at you. The three of you. The warrior, the hero, and you. DOCTOR: And what am I? CLARA: Have you really forgotten? DOCTOR: Yes. Maybe, yes. CLARA: We've got enough warriors. Any old idiot can be a hero. DOCTOR: Then what do I do? CLARA: What you've always done. Be a doctor. You told me the name you chose was a promise. What was the promise? (The fighting seems to have stopped on Gallifrey.) DOCTOR 10: Never cruel or cowardly. WARRIOR: Never give up, never give in. (The images vanish.) DOCTOR 10: You're not actually suggesting that we change our own personal history? DOCTOR: We change history all the time. I'm suggesting far worse. WARRIOR: What, exactly? DOCTOR: Gentlemen, I have had four hundred years to think about this. I've changed my mind. (He sonicks the big red button back into the Moment box.) WARRIOR: There's still a billion billion Daleks up there, attacking. DOCTOR: Yeah, there is. There is. DOCTOR 10: But there's something those billion billion Daleks don't know. DOCTOR: Because if they did, they'd probably send for reinforcements. CLARA: What? What don't they know? DOCTOR: This time, there's three of us. WARRIOR: Oh! Oh, yes, that is good. That is brilliant! DOCTOR 10: Oh, oh, oh, I'm getting that too! That is brilliant! DOCTOR: Ha, ha, ha! I've been thinking about it for centuries. WARRIOR: She didn't just show me any old future, she showed me exactly the future I needed to see. MOMENT: Now you're getting it. DOCTOR: Eh? Who did? WARRIOR: Oh, Bad Wolf girl, I could kiss you. MOMENT: Yeah, that's going to happen. DOCTOR 10: Sorry, did you just say Bad Wolf? CLARA: So what are we doing? What's the plan? WARRIOR: The Dalek fleets are surrounding Gallifrey, firing on it constantly. DOCTOR 10: The Sky Trench is holding, but what if the whole planet just disappeared? CLARA: Tiny bit of an ask. DOCTOR 10: The Daleks would be firing on each other. They'd destroy themselves in their own crossfire. WARRIOR: Gallifrey would be gone, the Daleks would be destroyed, and it would look to the rest of the universe as if they'd annihilated each other. CLARA: But where would Gallifrey be? DOCTOR 10: Frozen. Frozen in an instant of time, safe and hidden away. DOCTOR: Exactly. WARRIOR: Like a painting. [War room] ANDROGAR: Another one. GENERAL: Are you sure the message is from him? ANDROGAR: Oh, yes. GENERAL: Why would he do that? (The message reads - Gallifrey Stands.) GENERAL: What's the mad fool talking about now? (Holo-monitors appear as the Doctors introduce themselves.) DOCTOR [on monitor]: Hello, hello, Gallifrey High Command, this is the Doctor speaking. DOCTOR 10 [on monitor]: Hello! Also the Doctor. Can you hear me? WARRIOR [on monitor]: Also the Doctor, standing ready. GENERAL: Dear God, three of them. All my worst nightmares at once. DOCTOR 10 [on monitor]: General, we have a plan. [Tardis] DOCTOR: We should point at this moment, it is a fairly terrible plan [War room] DOCTOR 10 [on monitor]: And almost certainly won't work. DOCTOR [on monitor]: I was happy with fairly terrible. DOCTOR 10 [on monitor]: Sorry, just thinking out loud. [Tardis] DOCTOR: We're flying our three Tardises into your lower atmosphere. [Tardis 10] DOCTOR 10: We're positioned at equidistant intervals around the globe. Equidistant. So grown up. [Tardis 8.5] WARRIOR: We're just about ready to do it. GENERAL [OC]: Ready to do what? [Tardis] DOCTOR: We're going to freeze Gallifrey. [War room] GENERAL: I'm sorry, what? [Tardis 10] DOCTOR 10: Using our Tardises, we're going to freeze Gallifrey in a single moment in time. [War room] WARRIOR [on monitor]: You know, like those stasis cubes? A single moment in time, held in a parallel pocket universe. [Tardis] DOCTOR: Except we're going to do it to a whole planet. [Tardis 10] DOCTOR 10: And all the people on it. [War room] GENERAL: What? Even if that were possible [Tardis] GENERAL [OC]: Which it isn't, why would you do such a thing? DOCTOR: Because the alternative is burning. [Tardis 10] DOCTOR 10: And I've seen that. [Tardis] DOCTOR: And I never want to see it again. [War room] GENERAL: We'd be lost in another universe, frozen in a single moment. We'd have nothing. [Tardis] DOCTOR: You would have hope. And right now, that is exactly what you don't have. [War room] GENERAL: It's delusional. The calculations alone would take hundreds of years. [Tardises] (Each Tardis has a stasis cube on the console.) DOCTOR: Oh, hundreds and hundreds. DOCTOR 10: But don't worry, I started a very long time ago. DOCTOR 1: Calling the War Council of Gallifrey. This is the Doctor. DOCTOR: You might say I've been doing this all my lives. [War room] DOCTOR 2 [on monitor]: Good luck. DOCTOR 3 [on monitor]: Standing by. DOCTOR 4 [on monitor]: Ready. DOCTOR 8 [on monitor]: Commencing calculations. DOCTOR 5 [on monitor]: Soon be there. DOCTOR 7 [on monitor]: Across the boundaries that divide one universe from another. DOCTOR 6 [on monitor]: Just got to lock on to his coordinates. [Tardis 9] DOCTOR 9: And for my next trick. [War room] GENERAL: I didn't know when I was well off. All twelve of them! ANDROGAR: No, sir. All thirteen! (A new pair of grey eyebrows is seen.) ANDROGAR: Sir! The Daleks know that something is happening. They're increasing their fire power. GENERAL: Do it, Doctor. Just do it. [Tardises] GENERAL [OC]: Just do it. DOCTOR: Okay. Gentlemen, we're ready. Geronimo! DOCTOR 10: Allons-y! WARRIOR: Oh, for God's sake. Gallifrey stands! (Tardises rush towards the planet and surround it, then whiteout!) [National Gallery] (Having a cup of tea in front of Gallifrey Falls. Three Tardises are lined up by one wall. The opposite is decorated with a collection of roundels.) WARRIOR: I don't suppose we'll know if we actually succeeded. But at worst, we failed doing the right thing, as opposed to succeeding in doing the wrong. CLARA: Life and soul, you are. DOCTOR 10: What is it actually called? DOCTOR: Well, there's some debate. Either No More or Gallifrey Falls. WARRIOR: Not very encouraging. DOCTOR 10: How did it get here? DOCTOR: No idea. DOCTOR 10: There's always something we don't know, isn't there? WARRIOR: One should certainly hope so. Well, gentlemen, it has been an honour and a privilege. DOCTOR 10: Likewise. DOCTOR: Doctor. WARRIOR: And if I grow to be half the man that you are, Clara Oswald, I shall be happy indeed. CLARA: That's right. Aim high. WARRIOR: I won't remember this, will I? DOCTOR: The time streams are out of sync. You can't retain it, no. WARRIOR: So I won't remember that I tried to save Gallifrey rather than burn it. I'll have to live with that. But for now, for this moment, I am the Doctor again. Thank you. Which one is mine? Ha! (He goes into the shabbiest Tardis. It dematerialises.) [Tardis 8.5] (The Warrior begins to regenerate.) WARRIOR: Oh yes, of course. I suppose it makes sense. Wearing a bit thin. I hope the ears are a bit less conspicuous this time. [National Gallery] DOCTOR 10: I won't remember either, so you might as well tell me. DOCTOR: Tell you what? DOCTOR 10: Where it is we're going that you don't want to talk about. DOCTOR: I saw Trenzalore, where we're buried. We die in battle among millions. DOCTOR 10: That's not how it's supposed to be. DOCTOR: That's how the story ends. Nothing we can do about it. Trenzalore is where you're going. DOCTOR 10: Oh, never say nothing. Anyway, good to know my future is in safe hands. Keep a tight hold on it, Clara. CLARA: On it. (He kisses her hand.) DOCTOR 10: Trenzalore. We need a new destination, because I don't want to go. (He gets into the next, not brightly painted, Tardis and it dematerialises.) DOCTOR: He always says that. CLARA: Need a moment alone with your painting? DOCTOR: How did you know? CLARA: Those big sad eyes. DOCTOR: Ah. CLARA: I always know. Oh, by the way, there was an old man looking for you. I think it was the curator. (She goes into the Tardis. The Doctor sits and looks at the painting.) DOCTOR: I could be a curator. I'd be great at curating. I'd be the Great Curator. I could retire and do that. I could retire and be the curator of this place. CURATOR: You know, I really think you might. (Yes, that is the current silver haired version of the fourth Doctor you just heard. There's Tom Baker, leaning on a walking stick.) DOCTOR: I never forget a face. CURATOR: I know you don't. And in years to come, you might find yourself revisiting a few. But just the old favourites, eh? (The Doctor winks.) CURATOR: You were curious about this painting, I think. I acquired it in remarkable circumstances. What do you make of the title? DOCTOR: Which title? There's two. No More or Gallifrey Falls. CURATOR: Oh, you see, that's where everybody's wrong. It's all one title. Gallifrey Falls No More. Now, what would you think that means, eh? DOCTOR: That Gallifrey didn't fall. It worked. It's still out there. CURATOR: I'm only a humble curator. I'm sure I wouldn't know. DOCTOR: Then where is it? CURATOR: Where is it indeed? Lost. Shush. Perhaps. Things do get lost, you know. And now you must excuse me. Oh, you have a lot to do. DOCTOR: Do I? CURATOR: Mmm. DOCTOR: Is that what I'm supposed to do now? Go looking for Gallifrey? CURATOR: Oh, it's entirely up to you. Your choice, eh? I can only tell you what I would do if I were you. Oh, if I were you. Oh, perhaps I was you, of course. Or perhaps you are me. Congratulations. DOCTOR: Thank you very much. CURATOR: Or perhaps it doesn't matter either way. Who knows, eh? Who knows? (The Curator leaves a happy Doctor.) [Tardis] DOCTOR [OC]: Clara sometimes asks me if I dream. Of course I dream, I tell her. Everybody dreams. But what do you dream about, she'll ask. The same thing everybody dreams about, I tell her. I dream about where I'm going. She always laughs at that. But you're not going anywhere, you're just wandering about. (He walks out to join his past selves, backs to us, gazing out at the stars.) DOCTOR [OC]: That's not true. Not any more. I have a new destination. My journey is the same as yours, the same as anyones. It's taken me so many years, so many lifetimes, but at last I know where I'm going. (A big golden planet hangs in the sky. He stands between the 10th and 8.5 Doctors.) DOCTOR [OC]: Where I've always been going. Home, the long way round. (Final shot, a front view of the known Doctors. Left to right - 2, 4, 6, 8, 8.5, 11, 10, 9, 7, 5, 3 and behind them, number one.) TASHA [OC]: Once, there was a planet, much like any other, and unimportant. This planet sent the universe a message. A bell tolling among the stars, ringing out to all the dark corners of creation. And everybody came to see. (A huge space fleet of Judoon, Terileptils, Silurians et al is orbiting an icy ringed planet. Three tones are being repeated over and over again.) TASHA [OC]: Although no one understood the message, everyone who heard it found themselves afraid. Except one man. The man who stayed for Christmas. [Spaceship] (The Doctor beams in to a large dark space, carrying a Dalek eye-stalk.) DOCTOR: I bring proof of courage and comradeship. What is this ship and why are you here? Identify yourselves by species and planet of origin. DALEK: Exterminate! (The Doctor communicates with an unseen accomplice.) DOCTOR: Handles? DALEKS: Exterminate! Exterminate! (The angry pepperpots start firing. Their aim is awful at such short range.) DOCTOR: Handles? Argh. Handles? (The Doctor is beamed away.) DALEKS: Exterminate! [Tardis] DOCTOR: Every ship I go on, they just shoot at me. Handles, I said, put me on a ship. I didn't say, put me on a Dalek ship. (The Doctor is talking to a damaged Cyberman's head attached to a stand on the console.) DOCTOR: Don't put me on a Dalek ship when I'm holding a broken bit of Dalek! (The Doctor hits the head with the eye-stalk.) DOCTOR: Ow! HANDLES: You did not indicate a preference. DOCTOR: Use your head. (He takes it off the stand and paces with it.) DOCTOR: It's not like you've got a lot of alternatives. They're all here. Daleks, Sontarans, Terileptils, Slitheen. And they're not even fighting, they're just parked. Why? HANDLES: The message was received throughout the universe. DOCTOR: Yes, yes, the message, the message. Even I can't translate it. I mean, why is everyone here if they don't understand it? HANDLES: You're here. DOCTOR: Well, you know, I'm OCD. What's their excuse? What does this message mean? (The emergency phone outside rings. He puts the head back on its stand.) DOCTOR: Oh, no. And remind me I've got to patch the telephone back through the console unit. This is getting ridiculous. HANDLES: Attention. Information available. DOCTOR: Okay? HANDLES: You must patch the telephone device back through the console unit. DOCTOR: No, no. No, no, no, no. No, not now. Remind me later. HANDLES: When? DOCTOR: I don't know. Just later. Just pick a time. HANDLES: When? DOCTOR: I don't know. Just any old time. When you think I've forgotten. HANDLES: When? DOCTOR: Just pick a random number, express that number as a quantity of minutes, and when that time has elapsed, remind me to patch the telephone back through the console unit. HANDLES: Affirmative. DOCTOR: How those Cyber-evenings must fly. (He opens the door, gets the telephone and brings the handset inside.) DOCTOR: Hello, the Tardis. [Clara's flat / Tardis] (Clara dashing between cooking and laying a table for dinner whilst wearing the paper crown from a Christmas cracker.) CLARA: Emergency. You're my boyfriend. DOCTOR: Ding dong. Okay, brilliant. I may be a bit rusty in some areas, but I will glance at a manual. CLARA: No, no, you're not actually my boyfriend. (The turkey is nowhere near ready, although the roast potatoes look done.) DOCTOR: Oh, that was quick. It's a roller coaster this phone call. CLARA: But I need a boyfriend really quickly. DOCTOR: Well, I hope you're nicer to the next one. CLARA: No, shut up. Christmas dinner. Me cooking. DOCTOR: So? CLARA: So, I may have accidentally invented a boyfriend. DOCTOR: Yeah, I did that once and there's no easy way to get rid of an android. CLARA: No, not an android. A pretend one, an imaginary one. And I said he'd be coming to Christmas dinner. DOCTOR: Yeah. (The scanner has picked up an unidentified new vessel in orbit. The Doctor drops the telephone receiver.) DOCTOR: Handles, that's a new ship. Okay, we'll take the Tardis this time. CLARA: I just need you to come for Christmas dinner. Just do that for me. Come to Christmas dinner and be my Christmas date. DOCTOR: Sorry, missed that last bit. Got to dash. [New spaceship] (The Tardis materialises, and the Doctor walks down a corridor carrying Handles.) DOCTOR: Okay, don't be alarmed, I come in (And sees Cybermen.) CYBERMAN: Alert. Alert. DOCTOR: Peace. No. CYBERMAN: Intruder detected. The intruder will be upgraded. (Lots of Cybermen leave their cubicles and start shooting. Really bad shots again.) DOCTOR: Argh! Sorry. (The Doctor makes it back to the Tardis. He gets inside and the phone rings, so he pops out to get it again.) [Clara's flat / Tardis] CLARA: I need you. I'm cooking Christmas dinner! DOCTOR: I'm being shot at by Cybermen! CLARA: Well, can't we do both? DOCTOR: Argh! Yeah, why not? [Clara's flat] (Clara's little family is tucking in to starters and alcohol whilst the Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special is on the television. That makes it 5pm. Who on Earth has the television on during a big family meal, for Zarquon's sake?) TV: Happy Christmas! LINDA: How's the turkey doing? CLARA: Great. Yeah, yeah, it's doing great. Well, dead and decapitated, but that's Christmas when you're a turkey. GRAN: Actually, maybe I will have a little more. (Clara refills her glass.) CLARA: There you go, Gran. DAD: Did you put it in early enough? CLARA: Dad, I put it in when you phoned me. DAD: I emailed you some instructions. CLARA: Oh, you certainly did. [Outside the block of flats] (The Tardis materialises noisily outside Clara's block of flats. She runs down the stairs and outside, losing her paper crown in the wind.) CLARA: Whoops! [Tardis] CLARA: Doctor, I so need you. (The Doctor is without any clothing. Clara has to turn her back.) DOCTOR: Clara! CLARA: No, stop, stop, don't move. Don't do anything. DOCTOR: Why? What is it? What's wrong? CLARA: You're naked. DOCTOR: Yes, I am naked. I wondered if you'd notice. CLARA: Doctor, why are you naked? DOCTOR: Because I'm going to church. (Zap! and he is fully clothed again.) DOCTOR: Better? CLARA: Oh, that was quick. DOCTOR: Hologram clothes, projected directly onto your visual cortex. CLARA: So you're still naked underneath? DOCTOR: Everybody's naked underneath. CLARA: Urgh, don't say things like that. It's Christmas. Come and meet my family. [Clara's flat] CLARA: Hello, so, er, here he is. DOCTOR: Hello, the Oswalds. Hello! Merry Christmas. Hello, hello. (Handshakes for Linda and Dad, air kisses for Gran, who is the only one to look directly at him.) DOCTOR: Hello, handsome. Anyone for Twister? CLARA: So, this is the Doctor. My boyfriend. Isn't anyone going to say hello? GRAN: Hello. (Her glass is empty again.) DOCTOR: Excuse me a moment. Listen, I've got an idea to break the ice. Why don't I project my clothes hologram onto their visual cortexes too? CLARA: So, to be clear, no one except me can see your clothes? DOCTOR: Yes, and I'm starting to think it may be causing tension. GRAN: Are we playing Twister now? CLARA: Get in the kitchen. DOCTOR: Eh? Sorry. CLARA: Sorry. He's Swedish. [Kitchen] CLARA: Doctor, please. (He looks at the anaemic fowl in the over.) DOCTOR: Oh, that's never going to work, is it? CLARA: What's wrong? Do you think it's not done yet? DOCTOR: I think a decent vet would give it an even chance. CLARA: Okay. Well, use an app. DOCTOR: An app? CLARA: On your screwdriver. App it. DOCTOR: Most certainly not. It doesn't do turkey. Nothing does turkey. You'd need a time machine. What? [Tardis] DOCTOR: You can't keep using the Tardis like this. CLARA: Like what? (She is carrying the poor uncooked bird.) DOCTOR: Missed birthdays, restaurant bookings. And please, just learn how to use iPlayer. CLARA: Ooo, vortex cooking? (She lays the carcass in the workings below the console.) DOCTOR: Yep, exposure to the time winds. It'll either come up a treat, or just possibly lay some eggs. HANDLES: Information available. CLARA: What's that? DOCTOR: Oh, just a bit of a Cyberman. He'll get us to the church on time. HANDLES: I have developed a fault. DOCTOR: The organics are all gone, but there's still a full set of data banks. Found it at the Maldovar market. (They zoom back to the snow planet.) HANDLES: Planet identified from analysis of message. DOCTOR: Right, cool. Go on then. Okay, tell us, what is the planet? Go on. HANDLES: Processing official designation. Processing. DOCTOR: Okay, in your own time, dear. Don't rush. CLARA: So why haven't you just gone down there and had a look? DOCTOR: It's shielded. Even the Tardis can't break through it. HANDLES: Gallifrey. DOCTOR: What did you say? HANDLES: Gallifrey. DOCTOR: What are you talking about? Gallifrey? What do you mean? HANDLES: Confirmed. Planet designation, Gallifrey. (The Doctor grabs Handles and takes it to the scanner.) DOCTOR: You see that? Gallifrey is my home. I know it when I see it. That is not Gallifrey. CLARA: Doctor, are you okay. DOCTOR: It's not Gallifrey. Gallifrey is gone. CLARA: Unless, unless you saved it. You thought you might have. (They look out of the Tardis doors down at the white planet.) DOCTOR: Even if it survived, it's gone from this universe. That is not my home. (They go back inside.) DOCTOR: It can't be. (There is a big fog horn blast outside.) CLARA: What's that? (They look out of the door again, at a big square Borg-style spaceship.) DOCTOR: Papal Mainframe. It's like a great big flying church. The first ship to arrive. They are the ones who shielded the planet. They can get us down there. (The Doctor bows to a large holographic face.) CLARA: A friend of yours? DOCTOR: Tasha Lem, the Mother Superious. (The hologram beckons to them.) DOCTOR: Oh, she's inviting us aboard. CLARA: Why? DOCTOR: Because I asked her. Swallow this. CLARA: What is it? DOCTOR: Your hologram projector. You can't go to church with your clothes on. (The Tardis flies inside the mainframe.) [Papal Mainframe] CLARA: I don't feel like I'm wearing anything. DOCTOR: I know. Relaxing, isn't it? CLARA: What is this place? (They walk between two rows of military personnel.) DOCTOR: The Church of the Papal Mainframe, security hub of the known universe. CLARA: A security church? DOCTOR: Yep. Keeping you safe in this world and the next. I venerate the exaltation of the Mother Superious. (The Doctor bows low. Clara curtseys. A male Colonel standing near the Mother Superious greets them.) ALBERO: Welcome to the Church of the Papal Mainframe. Your nudity is appreciated. TASHA: Hey, babes. DOCTOR: Loving the frock. TASHA: Is that a new body? Give us a twirl. DOCTOR: Tash, this old thing? Please, I've been rocking it for centuries. TASHA: Nice though. Tight. CLARA: So, er, hello. Also here. DOCTOR: Clara, this is Tasha Lem, the Head of the Church of the Papal Mainframe. Tash, ho, ho, ho, ho. This is my, my associate, Clara Oswald. Miss Clara Oswald. TASHA: We'll go to my chapel. All honours in place, no sacrifices required. [Corridor] DOCTOR: It was Tasha who shielded the planet. But you could sneak me down there, couldn't you, Tash? TASHA: I would have conditions. (to Clara) I have confidential matters to discuss with the Doctor. Would you excuse us? DOCTOR: Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of Clara. Well, quite a lot of it. Probably about half. Maybe a smidge under. Actually, Clara, would you mind waiting out here, please? CLARA: No worries. You two get yourselves a room. DOCTOR: Yes, quite. No, stop it. CLARA: Boss of the psycho space nuns. So you. (Tasha and the Doctor go into the private chapel.) DOCTOR: Well. (Then she sees a mouthless creature in a suit, with three long fingers, approaching her.) CLARA: Doctor? [Chapel] DOCTOR: That altar looks like a bed. TASHA: That bed looks like an altar. DOCTOR: Yep. (He sits on it. Tasha offers him a goblet of blue liquid. He doesn't like it. She reaches across and touches a panel on the headrest, or is it footrest, and the three tone message plays. They get inside each others personal space.) TASHA: That message is transmitting through all of space and time. What did it make you feel? DOCTOR: Feel? TASHA: Every sentient being in the universe who detected that signal felt something. Something overpowering. DOCTOR: What? TASHA: Fear. Pure, unadulterated dread. [Corridor] (The Silent passes behind a screen then reappears again.) CLARA: I saw you and then I forgot you. How does that work? (He goes behind another screen and she forgets it.) [Chapel] DOCTOR: Right. What's the signal? Where's it coming from? TASHA: It's a settlement. Human colony, level two. A farm, basically. DOCTOR: Right. Anyone been for a look? TASHA: Any one ship lands, the rest will follow. There will be bloodshed. Fortunately we got here first, shielded the planet. We maintain the truce by blocking all of them. DOCTOR: Daleks, Cybermen, one of that lot, could break through your defences. TASHA: Perhaps. But they're afraid, remember? Nobody wants to go first. DOCTOR: I do. TASHA: I was counting on it. [Corridor] SILENT: Confess. (It comes up behind Clara, startling her.) SILENT: Confess. CLARA: What are you? Why do I keep forgetting you? (There are now more of them. She backs up to the chapel door.) SILENT: Confess. Confess. CLARA: What? (And runs into -) [Chapel] DOCTOR: Are you okay? CLARA: Fine. Yeah, fine. Sorry. TASHA: Right. This is my personal teleport. I can put you down just outside the town. Find the source of the message and report back to me in one hour. And on your life, Doctor, you will cause no trouble down there. (The Doctor enters the 'confessional' style teleport box.) DOCTOR: When do I? Don't answer that. (He draws the curtain. Tasha pulls it back and holds out her hand.) DOCTOR: What? TASHA: I'm not an idiot. Everyone in this church is trained to see straight through holograms. CLARA: Ah. Great. TASHA: Give now. You are taking no technology of any kind down there. DOCTOR: What can I do with a key? You, in, now. TASHA: You could summon your Tardis. DOCTOR: The Tardis doesn't work by remote. Fine. If it makes you feel any better, there we are. (The Doctor gives the Tardis key to Tasha as Clara goes into the other cubicle. Tasha works the teleport controls.) TASHA: Remember. I want you back in one hour. [Forest] (Snow is falling all around as the Doctor and Clara beam in.) CLARA: Oh, cold. Very cold. DOCTOR: Okay, don't worry. There's a heat loss filter in your hologram shell. It'll kick in, just give it a moment. So, sweet little town covered in snow, half the universe in terror. Why? Why? CLARA: Oh, my God! DOCTOR: What? (Clara has spotted an arm sticking out of the snow.) CLARA: There's something under the snow. It's DOCTOR: What is it? CLARA: It's cold. DOCTOR: Okay, just stand back please, Clara. CLARA: It's stone. It's just stone. It's only a statue. DOCTOR: Clara, step away from it! (The hand grabs her ankle.) DOCTOR: Clara, keep looking at it. Don't look away. Don't even blink! CLARA: What is it? DOCTOR: There is a Weeping Angel under the snow. It looks like a statue, isn't a statue. Can you get your foot out? CLARA: Only if I get it out of my shoe. DOCTOR: You're not wearing a shoe. CLARA: Good point. DOCTOR: Okay, pull hard. One, two, three! (She comes free and they tumble backwards. Lots of Angels are starting to emerge from the snowdrifts.) CLARA: They're climbing out of the snow. Oh, God! DOCTOR: Keep looking at the. At all of them. CLARA: Why? DOCTOR: Quantum locked lifeform. It can only move if it's unobserved. CLARA: What is it doing here? DOCTOR: Same as everybody else. Must've got past Tasha's shield. (They are surrounded, and cannot look at every Angel all of the time.) DOCTOR: Keep looking! (The Angels advance.) CLARA: I can't. I can't see. The snow's in my eyes. DOCTOR: I just need to bring the Tardis down. CLARA: You can't fly it remotely. DOCTOR: No, but it can home in on the key. CLARA: But she took your key! DOCTOR: She took one of them. (The Doctor pulls off his wig to reveal a spare glowing Tardis key.) [Tardis] HANDLES: Engines activating. (The Tardis materialises around them.) DOCTOR: The old key in the quiff routine. Classic. (He puts his wig on Handles.) DOCTOR: Okay, homing in on the mysterious message. Ooo yes, I like that. The mysterious message. CLARA: You've shaved your head? DOCTOR: Yep. Clever plan to get us past the shield. CLARA: You got bored one night, didn't you? DOCTOR: Yeah, tiny bit bored. CLARA: Is that what happened to your eyebrows? DOCTOR: No, they're just delicate. Right, setting us down near the signal source. I'm going to turn the engines on silent. Don't want to make a fuss. CLARA: Put it back on. DOCTOR: Why? CLARA: Your ears are like rocket fins. DOCTOR: I know. [Town] CLARA: Oh, it's good to be wearing clothes again. That's so much better, don't you think? (They are dressed for the weather. The Doctor scans everything with his screwdriver. The trees are decorated with lights so the village has electricity at least.) DOCTOR: Now, what do we make of this place? It's two o'clock in the afternoon. Must be very short days here. The message is coming from that tower. (Two residents walk towards them.) DOCTOR: Hello! Hello, there. Right, we're a couple from the next town. My name's probably Hank or Rock, something like that. CLARA: Or Daisy? DOCTOR: Shut up. Hello, good to meet you. Nice snow. ABRAMAL: Most pleasant to meet you too. MARTA: Most pleasant. Most pleasant. DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. I stole a time machine and ran away and I've been flouting the principal law of my own people every since. That wasn't quite what I was meant to say! (Everyone laughs.) CLARA: I'm an English teacher from planet Earth, and I've run off with a man from space because I really fancy MARTA: I think, perhaps, you should stop talking till you get used to it. DOCTOR: Used to what? MARTA: What did you say your name was? CLARA: Bubbly personality masking bossy control freak. DOCTOR: I'm wearing a wig! No, ah, I see. Yes, of course. It's a truth field. Oh, that is so quaint. I haven't seen a truth field in years. I'm wearing a wig. ABRAMAL: No one can lie in this town. Especially this close to the tower. (The couple walk on.) DOCTOR: Doesn't that make life a bit difficult? MARTA: Not at all. ABRAMAL: Yes. DOCTOR: This town, what's it called? MARTA: It's Christmas. DOCTOR: It's July. MARTA: No, the town. The town is Christmas. That's what it's called. ABRAMAL: Be happy here. Be well. CLARA: How can a town be called Christmas? DOCTOR: I don't know. How can an island be called Easter? Maybe it's just nice here. I almost hate to find out what's wrong. (The three tones sing out across the roof tops.) [Tower] DOCTOR: There you are. What took you so long? CLARA: What's wrong? It's only a crack in the wall. (It is The Crack, the time field caused by the exploding Tardis in the Pandorica Opens / Big Bang stories, that haunted the first season with Amy Pond.) DOCTOR: I knew. I always knew it wasn't over. CLARA: What is it? DOCTOR: A split in the skin of reality. (As he touches it, he is remembers other times the crack was there.) DOCTOR: A tiny sliver of the 26th of June, 2010. The day the universe blew up. CLARA: Missed that. DOCTOR: I rebooted it, put it all back together. CLARA: That's good. DOCTOR: Well, it was my Tardis that blew it up in the first place. I felt a degree of responsibility. But the scar tissue remains. A structural weakness in the whole universe. Whoa! And someone's trying to get through it from outside our universe, from somewhere else. Of course. Of course. It makes sense. CLARA: It does? DOCTOR: Yes. If you were trying to break through a wall, you'd choose the weakest spot. If you were trying to break into this universe, you'd choose this crack, because. No. If you were trying to break back into this universe. (to Handles) You said Gallifrey. Why did you say Gallifrey? HANDLES: Analysis of message composition indicates Gallifreyan origin, according to Tardis databanks. CLARA: You said Gallifrey was gone. DOCTOR: No. I said it was in another universe. The message is coming through here. The truth field is too, at a guess. If it's the Time Lords. If it's the Time Lords. (He takes a large round item from his trouser pocket.) DOCTOR: Seal of the High Council of Gallifrey. Nicked it off the Master in the Death Zone. (Five Doctors) There is an algorithm imprinted in the atomic structure. Use it to decode the message. (He puts the Seal on Handle's forehead.) HANDLES: Message decoding. Message analysis proceeding. Information available. The message is a request for information. DOCTOR: It's a question. Why can't you just say it's a question? HANDLES: It is being projected through all of time and space on a repeating cycle. DOCTOR: The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight. HANDLES: Warning. Translation will be available to all lifeforms in range. Translation follows. Doctor who? (slightly different voice each time.) Doctor who? Doctor who? Doctor who? Doctor who? Doctor who? Doctor who? (The Daleks hear it, and the Cybermen, and -) [Papal Mainframe] VOICE [OC]: Doctor who? Doctor who? TASHA: Patch me through to the Doctor. Now! [Tower] DOCTOR: A question only I could answer. A truth field to make sure I'm not lying. If I give my name, they'll know they've found the right place and that it's safe to come through. CLARA: The Time Lords? Okay, so what then? If you answer the question and they come back, what happens? (The Doctor gives Clara a short round device.) DOCTOR: Er, you need to take this to the Tardis and put it in the charger slot for the sonic. CLARA: Why? DOCTOR: Hell. All hell, that's what happens if the Time Lords come back. There's half a universe up there already, waiting to open fire. Now please, go to the Tardis and just do as I say. (Clara runs.) TASHA [OC]: Doctor. [Town] TASHA: Speak with me. (Tasha's holographic face hangs large in the sky.) TASHA: Doctor! Face me now! (Clara runs into the Tardis and puts the device into the charger.) [Bell chamber] TASHA [OC]: Doctor! (The Doctor goes up to the bell chamber above the clock face, which is very open to the elements and appears to house just the one bell.) DOCTOR: Mother Superious, there is only one thing I need from you. This planet, what's it called? TASHA: Trenzalore. [Tardis] CLARA: Okay, is that it? Are you doing a clever thing? (The Tardis engines are running.) [Bell chamber] TASHA: If you speak your name, the Time Lords will return. DOCTOR: If they return, they will come in peace. TASHA: It doesn't matter. They will be met with a war that will never end. The Time War will begin anew. You know that, Doctor. [Tardis] (The engines stop.) CLARA: Done. (And runs outside to -) [Outside the block of flats] CLARA: No. Don't you dare. No, no! (The Tardis is starting to dematerialise as she puts her key into the lock.) [Bell chamber] DOCTOR: They're asking for my help! TASHA: And if you give it, war will be the consequence. I will not let that happen, at any cost. Speak your name and this world will burn. DOCTOR: No, this planet is protected. (He rings the bell.) [Town] (The residents gather. The Doctor comes out of the Tower.) DOCTOR: So, you lot, a quick word, thank you. Spot of news. Christmas has a new sheriff. Hello, everyone. I'm the Doctor. [Papal Mainframe] TASHA: Attention. Attention all Chapels and Choirs of the Papal Mainframe. The siege of Trenzalore is now begun. There will now be an unscheduled faith change. From this moment on, I dedicate this church to one cause. Silence. The Doctor will not speak his name, and war will not begin. Silence will fall! ALL: Silence will fall! Silence will fall. TASHA [OC]: In the time that followed, the Papal Mainframe strove to maintain the peace between the Doctor and his enemies. [Town] (A set of vehicle tracks is appearing in the snow on the road into town.) SKARR: We remain undetectable to the Papal Mainframe. (The Doctor uses his screwdriver and we see the upper halves of two Sontarans. Clearly, they are clones of the same cell line as Strax.) SONTARAN: Commander Skarr. That's the detection warning. Our invisibility cloak is compromised. SKARR: What's wrong with it? SONTARAN: I don't know. I can't see it. SKARR: Well, it looks invisible to me. (He hits the side of the semi-visible vehicle. Whoosh, kaBOOM!) ALBERO [OC]: The Church of the Papal Mainframe apologises for your death. The relevant afterlives have been notified. TASHA [OC]: As the days passed, and the years, the Doctor stayed true to his word. On the fields of Trenzalore, he stood as protector both of his own people and his new home. (The Weeping Angels have mirrors placed in front of them, with With Love from the Doctor written on them.) [Town] TASHA [OC]: Over the years, his foes would find new, stranger ways to enter the town called Christmas. (The children are playing a game of blind man's bluff. The blindfolded boy wanders around a little, then hears timbers creaking.) BARNABLE: Are you there? Hello? Am I getting warm? (The lad removes his blindfold to look up at a dull brown creaking Cyberman. He runs away.) BARNABLE: There's another one! (The Cyberman's flame thrower misses him.) BARNABLE: There's another one! There's another one! (He rings alarm bells and the townspeople come out.) BARNABLE: There's another one! Doctor, Doctor! There's another one! CYBERMAN: Incinerate. Incinerate. (An older Doctor, leaning on a cane, comes out of his Tower home.) CYBERMAN: The Doctor is required. (The Doctor throws a wooden rifle to Barbable.) DOCTOR: There you go, Barnable. BARNABLE: Thanks. DOCTOR: Working fine. Nice action. Don't leave it out in the rain again. (A wheeled toy is tossed to another child.) DOCTOR: Fixed the wheels and the antigrav. GIRL: The anti what? DOCTOR: Yeah, may have gone a bit far. Now then, what do we have today? Don't you move one step further. Wooden Cyberman. Nice. Like it. (He limps over to his foe.) DOCTOR: Low tech, doesn't set off the alarms upstairs. (There is a brief High Noon moment between the town sheriff and the newcomer, then the Doctor zaps it with his screwdriver before it manages to raise its creaky arm.) DOCTOR: Only bit of tech allowed in. Got in before the truce. Now, I just sent an instruction to your firearm to reverse the polarity and fire out the back end. Now, as we're standing in a truth field, you will understand I cannot be lying. If you like, you can scan my screwdriver, verify that's the signal I sent. CYBERMAN: Signal verified. (The Cyberman's arm weapon turns around and fires its flamethrower through its chest.) DOCTOR: Yes. I probably should have mentioned this doesn't work on wood. You send your friends up there a message from the Doctor. You tell them the Doctor stays. (He prods the Cyberman with his cane and it falls backwards.) DOCTOR: Next. (The village has a party to celebrate this triumph.) TASHA [OC]: With every victory, the town celebrated. DOCTOR: And there's me arm-wrestling a Draconian. I remember that. TASHA [OC]: In time, the Doctor seemed to forget he'd lived any other life. DOCTOR: Christmas is defended. (He pins up children's drawings of their defeated enemies in the Tower.) TASHA [OC]: And the people of the town came to love the man who stayed for Christmas. DOCTOR: You've got to be the drunk giraffe. You've got to commit! Don't be cool, guys. Cool is not cool. CHILDREN: Cool is not cool! DOCTOR: And what's the dance we're doing? CHILDREN: The drunk giraffe! DOCTOR: The drunk giraffe. Yeah, it is. Merry Christmas. Give me a hug. Bring it in. CHILDREN: Yeah! (The Doctor mingles.) DOCTOR: How's your father's barn? BARNABLE: You've fixed the leak all right, but he says it's bigger on the inside now. DOCTOR: Shush, they'll all want one. (There is the sound of a wheezing time rotor.) BARNABLE: What is it? What's that noise. (The Tardis is trying to materialise.) DOCTOR: Well. Where have you been for three hundred years? Ha! BARNABLE: What's that? DOCTOR: It's my ship. BARNABLE: Your what? DOCTOR: It's my Tardis. That's how I got here in the first place. BARNABLE: Does this mean you're leaving? (The Tardis fully materialises, with Clara still on the outside holding her key in the lock. He taps her on the back with his cane.) DOCTOR: What are you doing here? CLARA: I was in space. DOCTOR: Well, you were in the time vortex. She must have extended the force field. No wonder. No wonder she's late, dragging you around. (They walk away from the Tardis.) CLARA: You tricked me. DOCTOR: I saved you. CLARA: You didn't even say goodbye! DOCTOR: I'm furious with you! CLARA: Well, I am not even talking to you! (They laugh and hug.) [Tower] CLARA: Ha. (She looks at the drawings and his workbench.) CLARA: Oh, Doctor. Fixing toys and fighting monsters. DOCTOR: The turkey isn't done yet. CLARA: Is it still asking the question? DOCTOR: Oh, never stops. Come upstairs. It's almost time. CLARA: What for? DOCTOR: Dawn. The light here lasts only a few minutes. You don't want to miss it. [Bell chamber] (He carries Handles up the stairs. A small fire is burning in the chamber.) DOCTOR: Well, it's a standoff. They can't attack in case I unleash the Time Lords, and I can't run away, because they'll burn this planet to stop the Time Lords. Hey, after all these years, I've finally found somewhere that needs me to stick around. A town called Christmas. Could've been worse. Right, there you go, buddy. Comfy? HANDLES: Comfort is irrelevant. DOCTOR: How's that, is that better? HANDLES: Affirmative. DOCTOR: You just take it easy, buddy. He's getting old. I do my best for him, but I just can't get the parts, you know. Hey, I know the feeling. (He is roasting marshmallows on the open fire.) CLARA: Where did you get those? DOCTOR: I have a supplier. The pink ones are best. HANDLES: I have developed a fault. DOCTOR: Hey, don't you worry, Handles. you're just dreaming. The sun's coming up very soon. You just hang on in there. HANDLES: I have developed a fault. I, I have developed a fault. DOCTOR: Hey, Handles. Come on. Come on. One more dawn, you can do it. You've got it in you. Come on, just hang on in there. HANDLES: Attention. Emergency. Attention. DOCTOR: Handles, what is it? What's wrong? HANDLES: Urgent action required. You must patch the telephone device back through the console unit. (Handles' lights go out.) DOCTOR: Come back. Handles? Handles. Oh. Thank you, Handles, and well done. Well done, mate. (The sun rises between the mountains, and birds sing to greet it.) DOCTOR: What do you think of my new place? I come up here once a day for a few minutes, to remind myself of what it is I'm protecting. CLARA: It's beautiful. Why did you send me away? DOCTOR: Because if I hadn't, I'd have buried you a long time ago. CLARA: No, you wouldn't. I would never have let you get stuck here. DOCTOR: Ha! Everyone gets stuck somewhere eventually, Clara. Everything ends. CLARA: Except you. DOCTOR: Have you been paying attention? I'm an old man now. CLARA: But you don't die. You change. You pop right back up with a new face. DOCTOR: No, not for ever. I can change twelve times. Thirteen versions of me. Thirteen silly Doctors. CLARA: Okay, so you're number eleven, so DOCTOR: Ha. Are we forgetting Captain Grumpy, eh? I didn't call myself the Doctor during the Time War, but it was still a regeneration. CLARA: Okay, so you're number twelve. DOCTOR: Well, number ten once regenerated and kept the same face. I had vanity issues at the time. Twelve regenerations, Clara. I can't ever do it again. This is where I end up. This face, this version of me. We saw this planet in the future, remember? All those graves, one of them mine. (The sun is setting.) CLARA: Change the future. DOCTOR: I can't. CLARA: You've got your Tardis back. DOCTOR: Ha! You think I'm just going to fly away, abandon everyone? CLARA: Of course not. But you've been protecting this town for over three hundred years. Do you not think it's anybody else's go yet? DOCTOR: There is no one else to protect it. CLARA: It's not going to be you for ever. It'll end the same way, whatever you do. DOCTOR: Every life I save is a victory. Every single one. CLARA: What about your life? Just for once, after all this time, have you not earned the right to think about that? Sorry. Wrong thing to say. We shouldn't be having an argument. DOCTOR: Clara, I've been having that argument for the last three hundred years, all by myself. CLARA: But you didn't have your Tardis. DOCTOR: Ah. Yes, well, that made it easier to stay. True. (Thunder in the darkening sky.) TASHA [OC]: Doctor! DOCTOR: Ah. Look who's woken up. (The holographic face is in the sky.) TASHA: The Church of the Silence requests parlay. Your rights and safety are sanctified. DOCTOR: I'll be right up. TASHA: I'm sending a transporter. DOCTOR: Nah, don't bother. I've got me motor back. CLARA: It's gone dark. DOCTOR: Yeah, well, the sun's gone down. CLARA: Already? DOCTOR: Everything ends, Clara. And sooner than you think. [Town] (The Doctor spots a tiny hand behind the Tardis.) DOCTOR: Hmm. Are you guarding my Tardis, Barnable? BARNABLE: Are you coming back? DOCTOR: Oh, come on. You know me. BARNABLE: I'll wait. [Papal Mainframe] CLARA: She hasn't aged much. DOCTOR: No, she's against ageing. TASHA: Approach. SILENT: Confess. CLARA: What are those things? SILENT: Confess. DOCTOR: Confessional priests. Very popular. Genetically engineered so you forget everything you told them. CLARA: Told who? DOCTOR: There you go. [Chapel] (The bed has been replaced by a large table. Tasha places a big box in front of the Doctor. He looks inside.) TASHA: Satisfactory? DOCTOR: Where are the pink ones? TASHA: E numbers. You're hyper enough as it is. CLARA: So, this is sweet. Middle of a siege and you two have little chats? TASHA: She's right. This situation cannot continue. DOCTOR: It can't end, either. [Papal Mainframe] DALEK: Report. (A Papal Mainframe colonel raises her head. She and her companions have short eye-stalks on their foreheads.) MEME: The Time Lord has entered the trap. (The rest of the Papal troops and Silents have eyestalks pop out of their heads.) [Chapel] TASHA: Why did you ever come to Trenzalore? DOCTOR: Well, I did come to Trenzalore, and nothing can change that now. Didn't stop you trying though, did it? TASHA: Not me. The Kovarian Chapter broke away. They travelled back along your timeline and tried to prevent you ever reaching Trenzalore. DOCTOR: So that's who blew up my Tardis. I thought I'd left the bath running. TASHA: They blew up your time capsule, created the very cracks in the universe through which the Time Lords are now calling. DOCTOR: The destiny trap. You can't change history if you're part of it. TASHA: They engineered a psychopath to kill you. DOCTOR: Totally married her. I'd never have made it here alive without River Song. TASHA: I'm not interested in changing history, Doctor. I want to change the future. The Daleks send for reinforcements daily. They are massing for war. Three days ago, they attacked the Mainframe itself. DOCTOR: They attacked here? CLARA: How did you stop them? TASHA: Stop them? It was slaughter. DOCTOR: Why didn't you call me? I could have helped. TASHA: I tried. I died in this room, screaming your name. DOCTOR: No. TASHA: Oh. I died. It's funny the things that slip your mind. Ah! DOCTOR: No! No, no, no. Tasha, no, please, not Tasha. No. Fight it. Tash, fight it! (A Dalek eyestalk comes out of her forehead, then real Daleks enters.) DALEK: Step away from the Dalek unit, Doctor. DOCTOR: You shouldn't even know who I am. DALEK: Information concerning the Doctor was harvested from the cadaver of Tasha Lem. DOCTOR: Bet she never told you how to break through the Trenzalore forcefield, though. She'd have died first. DALEK 2: Several times. DOCTOR: Well, you'd better kill me, then. Go on. But before you do (He sonicks the message into the room.) VOICE [OC]: Doctor who? Doctor who? Doctor who? DOCTOR: I'm a tough old bird. I'll be ages dying. Way enough time to answer a question. And, oh dear, what happens then, boys? (Tasha grabs Clara's neck from behind, and energy plays over her hands.) DALEK: You will die in silence, Doctor, or your associate will die. DOCTOR: Fine, go on, kill her. Kill her! See if I care. But tell me, what you are going to do next? DALEK: See how the Time Lord betrays. CLARA: You'll kill me anyway. What difference does it make? I'm not afraid. I'll leave that to you. DOCTOR: You see, Tasha, that's what I'm talking about. That is a woman! I always knew you were a bit spineless, you and your pointless church. Why did I ever rely on you? Never trust a nun to do a Doctor's work. (Tasha turns on the Doctor, releasing Clara, and slaps him. Then she blasts the Daleks into flames.) DOCTOR: And she's back! (The Doctor kisses Tasha. The eyestalk goes back into her forehead leaving a scar.) DOCTOR: You never could resist a row. TASHA: Kiss me when I ask. DOCTOR: Well, you'd better ask nicely. TASHA: In your dreams. DOCTOR: Right, get us back to the Tardis. Can you do that? TASHA: Yeah, but quickly, the Dalek inside me is waking. DOCTOR: Fight it. TASHA: I can't. DOCTOR: Listen to me. You have been fighting the psychopath inside you all your life. Shut up and win. That is an order, Tasha Lem. (The Doctor and Clara get into the confessional teleport booths.) TASHA: The forcefield will hold for a while, but it will decay, and there are breaches already. DOCTOR: Then this isn't a siege any more, it's a war. It's all up to you now. Fight the Daleks, inside and out. You can do it, I know you can. TASHA: Oh, I see. You've got your Tardis back, haven't you? Time to fly away. DOCTOR: Tasha, please. Please. Thank you. TASHA: None of this was for you, you fatuous egotist. It was for the peace. Fly away, Doctor! [Tardis] (The Tardis lands. A bell goes ting!) DOCTOR: It's done. CLARA: What is? DOCTOR: Your turkey. Either that or its woken up. CLARA: Do you want some? DOCTOR: Go on, then. CLARA: Got any plates? DOCTOR: Do you know, I've even got Christmas crackers. CLARA: One thing. Give me those big sad eyes, look at me so I know you're not lying, and tell me you will never send me away ever again. DOCTOR: Clara Oswald, I will never send you away again. (Clara kisses his cheek and goes down to get the turkey.) CLARA: Turkey smells good! DOCTOR: Yeah, smells great. (The Doctor looks at young Barnable on the scanner.) CLARA: Perfect. (He puts the device into the charger as Clara removes the well done turkey from the vortex cooker.) CLARA: Merry Christmas. (When she comes back up the stairs -) CLARA: Doctor? (And goes outside to her block of flats. The Tardis dematerialises behind her.) [Town] BARNABLE: If you're not leaving, why did you bring it back? DOCTOR: It's a reminder. Besides, I might leave tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. (Time passes. Metal Cybermen beam in and start shooting. The villagers scream and run as the Papal troops and Silents fight back.) TASHA [OC]: And so, to the fields of Trenzalore came all the Time Lord's enemies. For this was the winter of the Doctor. In time, when all other races had retreated or burned, only the Church of the Mainframe remained in the path of the Daleks. And so those ancient enemies, the Doctor and the Silence, stood back to back on the fields of Trenzalore. [Clara's flat] (It was not a happy meal.) TOY PENGUIN: Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas, everyone. LINDA: Other fish in the sea, that's what I'm saying. DAD: Linda, I don't think Clara wants to talk about it. LINDA: I've got a suggestion, that's all. I've got a list of suggestions. DAD: Linda. LINDA: You could make a boy band out of my list. CLARA: I hate boy bands. LINDA: Of course you don't, not at your age. GRAN: These crackers are rubbish. LINDA: I bought them. GRAN: I know. LINDA: They're classy. GRAN: They don't have jokes. LINDA: Exactly. GRAN: They've got poems. LINDA: They're more dramatic crackers. GRAN: I like the jokes. CLARA: Tell us a joke, Gran. You know loads of jokes. LINDA: I think we're probably talking about my list now. CLARA: Probably not. DAD: Tell us how you met Dad. The thing about the pigeon. GRAN: I saw him on a pier on a rainy day. DAD: No, no, not that one. The one about the pigeon. GRAN: I'd seen him before, lots of times, but he just looked so beautiful standing there. DAD: The pigeon in the restaurant. You remember? GRAN: I wanted everything to stop. I wanted nothing to change ever again. (Clara starts crying.) GRAN: If he could just keep standing there, so beautiful. A long time ago. Don't hug me so tight, dear. You'll break something. LINDA: Oh, that's nice. Crying at Christmas. CLARA: Sorry. GRAN: I hope you made a wish. (The sound of a time rotor is heard. Clara gets up and runs out to the kitchen window to see the Tardis appearing.) DAD: Clara? What's wrong, Clara. CLARA: Everybody just stay put. (She grabs a cracker from the table and leaves.) [Tardis] (The Doctor is not inside. A woman is.) CLARA: You can fly the Tardis? TASHA: Flying the Tardis was always easy. It was flying the Doctor I never quite mastered. CLARA: What's happened to him? [Town] (Everything is in flames as people run to and fro.) CLARA: What am I supposed to do? TASHA: He shouldn't die alone. Go to him. [Tower] (The Doctor is working on a wooden dog.) DOCTOR: Barnable? CLARA: Clara. (A venerable Doctor with thin grey hair drops the toy and looks around in his chair.) CLARA: Hello, Doctor. DOCTOR: Were you always so young? CLARA: Nah, that was you. DOCTOR: Ah. (He kisses her hand.) [Town] DALEK: Seek the Doctor. [Tower] CLARA: Merry Christmas. DOCTOR: Merry Christmas. (They try to pull the cracker, but his hand isn't strong enough.) CLARA: Hey, it's okay. It's all right, don't worry. (She helps him make the cracker go bang.) DOCTOR: Ah! Is there a joke? Ha? (Clara reads the slip of paper.) CLARA: Extract from Thoughts on a Clock by Eric Ritchie junior. DOCTOR: Is it a knock knock one? Those are best. CLARA: I don't think so. DOCTOR: Well, read it. Go on. CLARA: And now it's time for one last bow, like all your other selves. Eleven's hour is over now. The clock is striking twelve's. DOCTOR: I don't get it. DALEK [OC]: Doctor! The Doctor will be brought! (A huge Dalek Mothership hovers over the village.) DALEK [OC]: The Daleks demand the Doctor. (A young man runs in.) YOUNG MAN: They're here. The Daleks, we can't stop them. They want you. DOCTOR: Oh, all right, Barnable. Are you Barnable? YOUNG MAN: No, Doctor. DOCTOR: It's okay, Barnable, don't worry. I have got a plan. Off you pop. (The young man leaves to the sounds of explosions outside.) DOCTOR: I haven't got a plan, but people love it when I say that. CLARA: Doctor, what are you going to do? DOCTOR: Oh, I don't know. Talk very fast, hope something good happens, take the credit. That's generally how it works. CLARA: Doctor DOCTOR: Not this time, though. This is it. CLARA: No! DOCTOR: Yes. We saw the future, Clara. This is how it ends. CLARA: Change it. DOCTOR: Ha. CLARA: Like Tasha said, change the future. DOCTOR: I could have once, when there were Time Lords. Not any more. [Town] (The Daleks are by the Tardis.) DALEK: Locate the Doctor. [Tower] DOCTOR: No. You're going to stay here. Promise me you will. CLARA: Why? DOCTOR: I'll be keeping you safe. One last victory. Allow me that. Give me that, my impossible girl. Thank you. And goodbye. (He wipes away her tears and totters off up the stairs.) DOCTOR: The trouble with Daleks is, they take so long to say anything. Probably die of boredom before they shoot me. DALEK [OC]: The Doctor is required! (Clara goes to the crack in the wall.) CLARA: Listen to me, you lot. Listen! Help him. Help him change the future. Do it. Do something. DALEK [OC]: Doctor! CLARA: You've been asking a question, and it's time someone told you you've been getting it wrong. His name, his name is the Doctor. All the name he needs. Everything you need to know about him. And if you love him, and you should, help him. Help him. (Clara finally turns away, then the crack snaps shut. She runs outside to join the villagers and the Daleks, who are looking up at the Doctor in the bell chamber.) [Bell chamber] DOCTOR: Sorry I'm a bit slow. I may not be at my best right now. DALEK [OC]: You are dying, Doctor. DOCTOR: Yes, I'm dying. You've been trying to kill me for centuries, and here I am, dying of old age. If you want something done, do it yourself. DALEK [OC]: You will die, and the Time Lords will never return. DOCTOR: You still can't work up the courage to shoot me, can you? You're still worried I've got something up my sleeve. Well, you knock yourselves out, boys. I've got nothing this time. (Flying Daleks fire at the troops on the ground, making the townsfolk scream. Then the crack opens in the sky and golden regeneration energy enters the Doctor's mouth. His eyes widen in surprise and his hands begin to glow.) DALEK [OC]: You will die now, Doctor. This is the end of you. (The crack disappears.) DALEK [OC]: The rules of regeneration are known. You have expended all your lives. DOCTOR: Sorry, what did you say? Did you mention the rules? Now, listen. Bit of advice. Tell me the truth if you think you know it. Lay down the law if you're feeling brave. But, Daleks, never, ever tell me the rules! DALEK [OC]: Emergency! Emergency! The Doctor is regenerating! (The Tower clock strikes twelve. The Doctor is feeling more youthful already, although he doesn't look it.) DALEK [OC]: The Doctor is regenerating! DOCTOR: Oh, look at this. Regeneration number thirteen. We're breaking some serious science here, boys. I tell you what, it's going to be a whopper! DALEK [OC]: Exterminate! Exterminate the Doctor. DOCTOR: You think you can stop me now, Daleks? If you want my life, ha, ha, come and get it! (The Doctor winds up his arm and fires a big stream of energy out from his hand.) [Town] CLARA: Get inside! Come on, quickly. Get inside, quick. (The Doctor fires of more energy from the other hand as Clara gets the survivors into the Tower. The burning remains of flying Daleks tumble to the ground.) [Bell chamber] DOCTOR: Love from Gallifrey, boys! (Then a final blast from his head up to the Dalek Mothership. Mega KaBOOM! and the shockwave rips open the remaining Daleks on the ground. It even rocks the Tardis as it travels out of the town and through the countryside. Then silence falls.) [Town] (Later, Clara leads the people out to survey the wreckage.) CLARA: Doctor? (She sees the Tardis' external emergency telephone hanging off its hook and replaces it, then goes inside.) [Tardis] (The Doctor's village clothes are scattered on the floor, and a nearly empty bowl of fish fingers and custard is on the console. There are footsteps on the stairs. Her bow-tied young Doctor smiles at her.) CLARA: Doctor! DOCTOR: Hello. CLARA: You're young again. You're okay. You didn't even change your face. DOCTOR: Ha! It's started. I can't stop it now. This is just the reset. A whole new regeneration cycle. Ooo. (He finishes his custard.) DOCTOR: Taking a bit longer. Just breaking it in. Oh. Oh. Gah. (He starts the Tardis' engines.) DOCTOR: It all just disappears, doesn't it? Everything you are, gone in a moment, like breath on a mirror. Any moment now, he's a-coming. CLARA: Who's coming? DOCTOR: The Doctor. CLARA: But you, you are the Doctor. DOCTOR: Yep, and I always will be. (His hands are glowing.) DOCTOR: But times change, and so must I. (The Doctor sees a young Amy Pond run up the stairs, laughing.) DOCTOR: Amelia? CLARA: Who's Amelia? DOCTOR: The first face this face saw. We all change, when you think about it. We're all different people all through our lives. And that's okay, that's good, you've got to keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me. (Then he sees a vision of a red-haired woman with black painted fingernails walk down the stairs to him.) AMY: Raggedy man. Good night. (They touch each others cheeks, and she disappears. The Doctor removes his bow tie and drops it on the floor. His face is in pain.) CLARA: No, no. DOCTOR: Hey CLARA: Please don't change. (The Doctor jerks backwards as Matt Smith and then forwards as Peter Capaldi. Tall, grey haired, piercing blue eyes and a Scottish burr. My kind of man. The new Doctor and Clara stare into each others eyes, then he jerks back and forward again.) DOCTOR: Kidneys! I've got new kidneys. I don't like the colour. CLARA: Of your kidneys? (The Tardis starts lurching from side to side.) CLARA: What's happening? DOCTOR: We're probably crashing. Oh! CLARA: Into what? DOCTOR: Stay calm. Just one question. Do you happen to know how to fly this thing? April (The Doctor is leaving a message on the Williams' or Pond's answerphone.) DOCTOR [OC]: Hello, Ponds. Checking in. How are you? (The Doctor is carrying a surfboard, and confronting Sontarans.) DOCTOR [OC]: Not much to report. Surfed the fire falls of Florinall Nine. Not deliberately, just the easiest way out. (He leaps from a spaceship. Next, toasting muffins by a fire.) DOCTOR [OC]: Met Mata Hari in a Paris hotel room. (Mata Hari undresses for him.) DOCTOR [OC]: What an interesting woman. (A recording studio.) DOCTOR [OC]: Laid down some backing vocals. (The Tardis.) DOCTOR: I should be with you any day now. Literally any day. Helmic regulator's playing up. Can't get the temporal steering right. (Rory and Amy are listening to the message.) DOCTOR [OC]: Oh dear, I appear to have collided with ancient Greece. Argh! (Rory turns off the message.) AMY: The Doctor. (They drink to him.) May (The Doctor bursts into Amy and Rory's bedroom.) DOCTOR: Argh! Stop everything. RORY: What's going on? AMY: Doctor! Bedroom! RORY: We have a rule about the bedroom. DOCTOR: No one on this planet is safe right now. We have to solve this before it's too late. Get your clothes on. If we move fast we at least stand a chance and you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? AMY + RORY: No. DOCTOR: No. Helmic regulator again. Too early. Wrong point. As you were. (The Doctor leaves.) AMY: Doctor, you can't just go like that. What's happening? Don't we need to know? (The Doctor returns and sits on the bed.) DOCTOR: Popped up in the wrong order. Easy mistake to make. Nothing to alarm you. Forget I was ever here. I'll be back soon enough, I would have thought. Everything's fine, pretty much. Don't worry about the future. The future is really (flashes of spoilers) safe. Really, really, safe. Sleep well. (The Doctor leaves. Sound of the Tardis dematerialising.) RORY: I really hate it when he does that. June (Morning. Rory is fastening his dressing gown and heading for the bathroom. Something in there makes him call out.) RORY: Whoa! AMY: Out of the way, Mister Pond. What? Why not? (There is an Ood sitting on the toilet.) OOD: May I be of any assistance? RORY: Ood on the loo. AMY: Yeah. July (In the Tardis, under the time console, the Doctor is on the phone.) DOCTOR: Ood. Yes, I was wondering where he'd got to. I thought he'd just gone for a walk in the Tardis. (Amy and Rory are listening to the message on their phone whilst having breakfast.) DOCTOR [OC]: Must have wandered off when I popped in the other night. If it was the other night. (Amy steals one of Rory's sausages.) DOCTOR [OC]: You know, I rescued him from the middle of the Androvax conflict. I was taking him back to the Ood Sphere. (Back in the Tardis.) DOCTOR: Anyway, he's not being a nuisance, is he? (No, he is the perfect housekeeper.) OOD: Enjoy your workday experience. RORY: Cheers. (Making the beds, putting out the washing, cleaning the windows.) RORY: Doctor. Doctor? He seems to think that he's our butler. (The Doctor is still repairing the Tardis.) DOCTOR: He's conditioned to serve. The best thing is, let him do just that. I'll come and pick him up tonight. Whenever tonight is. Oh no, got to go. Power drain's threatening to cause the Tardis to implode. Oh no, that's bad. (Back to the Pond's home.) DOCTOR [OC]: Why's it doing that? No, no, no, no, no, don't do that! (So the Ponds continue to have a servant.) OOD: Your infusions. How else may I be of service? RORY: I feel so guilty. AMY: Just eat your breakfast. August (The Doctor is changing the bulb on the top of the Tardis whilst leaving a message on the answerphone.) DOCTOR: Me again. Sorry about the gaps in communications. Dropped your Ood back home. Reconnected it to the hive mind. Helmic regulator's still not working. Got hit by an arrow at Hastings Hill. Also rode a horse through eleventh century Coventry. Also, I think I may have accidentally invented pasta. I popped round but you were out. Which is fine. Everything's all right, isn't it, with you two? Course it is. Ponds always fine. Just worrying unnecessarily. Anyway, just call me if you need me. (Rory is angry and Amy is in tears.) DOCTOR: Okay? Toodle pip. (He uses the sonic screwdriver on the phone.) ANSWERPHONE: Message deleted. (Amy comes home to see there are no messages.) AMY: We need you, raggedy man. I need you. [Hallway] (Strax the Sontaran Butler is putting handcuffs on a man.) STRAX: Prepare for obliteration, Earthling scum. INSPECTOR: Actually, Mister Strax, if you could just take him aside for a moment, I have some officers on the way. STRAX: As you wish. Humans. JENNY: Sorry. He is new. INSPECTOR: Funny looking fellow but, Turkish, is he? VASTRA: He is a genetically modified clone warrior from outer space. INSPECTOR: Ah. Makes sense. Well, what a case. Identical twins, poison undetectable to science, an ancient Egyptian curse. Once more Scotland Yard is in your debt, Madame Vastra. Where would we be without you? VASTRA: Quite some distance from a clue, one imagines. INSPECTOR: You might be right. Does it ever hurt? VASTRA: Does what hurt? INSPECTOR: Your skin condition. Always wondered. JENNY: It's not a condition, Inspector. It's just skin. INSPECTOR: Are you sure? VASTRA: I am, as I may have failed to mention, an intelligent reptile from an ancient civilisation long preceding mankind. Many of us slumber under the Earth's crust. JENNY: Madame was accidentally awoken by an extension to the London Underground. INSPECTOR: Well, that would account for it. VASTRA: I was not initially keen on the society of apes, but I made the most elementary of errors. I fell in love. (Vastra and Jenny gaze into each others eyes.) INSPECTOR: What, with the Turkish fellow? VASTRA: No. Not with the Turkish fellow. INSPECTOR: Good lord. Good lord. VASTRA: Come along, my dear. JENNY: Yes, my darling. INSPECTOR: Good lord. [Carriage] JENNY: Still no word from the Doctor, then? VASTRA: No, my dear. And there won't be. JENNY: He can't sulk in his box forever. VASTRA: Heartbreak is a burden to us all. Pity the man with two. JENNY: It's starting to snow. VASTRA: But it can't be. JENNY: Well, it is nearly Christmas. VASTRA: But the clouds. JENNY: What about them? VASTRA: There aren't any. [Demons Run] JENNY: Strax. Strax. Strax. Strax. COMPUTER: Warning. Evacuating. STRAX: Leave me. COMPUTER: Warning. Evacuating. STRAX: Go on. You must leave me here to die. JENNY: You're not dying, Strax. STRAX: It's fine. Don't worry. It's a glorious thing for a Sontaran to die in battle. VASTRA: The battle was two days ago. You've made a full recovery. STRAX: No, I haven't. JENNY: We've healed your wounds. You're completely fine. STRAX: Nonsense! That was definitely a fatal shot. I didn't stand a chance. JENNY: I think you just fainted. STRAX: Silence, boy. VASTRA: The station is being evacuated. We're all being returned to our proper times and places. We wondered if you would like to come with us. JENNY: We're from London, 1888. STRAX: What of it? Is there something there for me? VASTRA: A welcome. STRAX: Why? VASTRA: We fought together, didn't we, side by side as comrades? JENNY: And we couldn't help noticing you do seem to be alone. STRAX: I am accustomed to solitude. VASTRA: As are we. Jenny here has been ostracised by her family because of, well, let's just say preferences in companionship. I'm the last of my kind as you are the only one of yours. A Sontaran who fought bravely in the best of causes. STRAX: I thank you for your offer, but cannot accept, as you are putrescent alien filth. VASTRA: Indeed. We thought that would be a difficulty. Come along, Jenny. Time to go home. (Vastra and Jenny walk away, arm in arm.) STRAX: Although. This planet of which you speak, London, what do you do there? JENNY: Solve crimes. VASTRA: Protect the Empire. JENNY: There's quite a lot of running. VASTRA: Some spectacular dresses. JENNY: And an awful lot of fun. STRAX: I suppose I could make a preliminary reconnaissance of this London place. It may need to be assessed for military protection. VASTRA: That's the spirit. STRAX: Thank you for the opportunity. I look forward to obliterating you both in the name of the Sontaran Empire. I'm not an expert on alien species, but you're both women ones, aren't you? VASTRA: It has been noted. STRAX: Don't you need a man one? VASTRA + JENNY: No. STRAX: Am I the man one? VASTRA + JENNY: No. STRAX: So, dresses, then.