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-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

office

How many times the word 'office' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

translator

How many times the word 'translator' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

shore

How many times the word 'shore' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

jerry

How many times the word 'jerry' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

oscar

How many times the word 'oscar' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

un

How many times the word 'un' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

turn

How many times the word 'turn' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

general

How many times the word 'general' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

song

How many times the word 'song' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

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-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

traditional

How many times the word 'traditional' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

sadly

How many times the word 'sadly' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

ronnie

How many times the word 'ronnie' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

someone

How many times the word 'someone' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

n'jesus

How many times the word 'n'jesus' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

irrepressible

How many times the word 'irrepressible' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

eh

How many times the word 'eh' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

purpose

How many times the word 'purpose' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

got'em

How many times the word 'got'em' appears in the text?

-- " We put him in a sweater. WE HEAR A WHISTLE. HEADS TURN. THE COWBOY TYPE IS WHISTLING. HE IS OVER AT A COFFEE AREA, LOOKING AT A SMALL TELEVISION, THE GROUP MOVES TO THE TV. ON THE TELEVISION WE SEE A TALKING HEAD, ANNOUNCING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PRESS. IN THE B.G. AIRFORCE ONE IS ROLLING TO A STOP. WE SEE THE RAMP COME DOWN AND THE PRESIDENT COME OUT IN THE RAIN AND HURRY TOWARD A WAITING HELICOPTER. HE SEES SOMETHING OFF TO THE SIDE AND STOPS, HIS AIDES TRY TO DISSUADE HIM, BUT HE PULLS AWAY. THE NEWS CAMERA HUNTS AND FINDS A SMALL ALBANIAN GIRL, CARRYING A SHEAF OF WHEAT IN HER HANDS, AN OLD WOMAN BEHIND HER, BOTH STANDING IN THE RAIN. THE PRESIDENT ADVANCES, AND MOVES TO LET HIS AIDES LET THE CHILD COME FORWARD. WE SEE THE PRESIDENT, MOVED AT THE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE GIRL, OFFERING HIM THE SHEAF OF WHEAT, WE HEAR A REPORTER, V.O. REPORTER (VO) ...trying too... it seems that she is speaking in... is is Albanian ... Is it Albanian? Can we get someone on... A WOMAN'S VOICE COMES ON, A TRANSLATOR. TRANSLATOR (VO) ...salvation of our Country. To...to "intercede" where violent men would work to destroy ... to destroy Harmony. Now is the Harvest Season in my Land, and I bring you... (SHE HANDS HIM THE WHEAT) I bring you this traditional Albanian, forgive me not to speak English, but my Grandmother... THE CAMERA MOVES ONTO THE GRANDMOTHER, STANDING, NODDING, BEHIND THE LITTLE GIRL, AND THE PRESIDENT, REALIZING FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT THE OLD WOMAN IS STANDING IN THE RAIN, MOVES TO HER, REMOVES HIS SUITCOAT, AND PLACES IT OVER HER HEAD. SHE CLASPS HIM TO HER BOSOM. SHE SPEAKS TO HIM IN ALBANIAN. TRANSLATOR God bless you, God bless you, you are my Son... you are a Bringer of Peace... WE HEAR A PHONE RING. ANGLE WIDER, ON THE GROUP AT THE TV, ALL SHAKING THEIR HEADS SADLY. AN AIDE HANDS THE PHONE TO MOSS, WHO GIVES IT TO BREAN. BREAN Hello? EXT ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE DAY. CAIN, FROM THE PRESS CORPS, ON A CELL PHONE, BEHIND HER THE SPECTACLE OF THE PRESIDENT AND THE GIRL AND THE OLD WOMAN, WE SEE THE RAIN IS BEING SUPPLIED BY RAINBIRD MACHINES, THE DAY IS CLEAR. CAIN ...getting the speech for the White House...? (PAUSE) Good. Good. Because he's.... ANGLE, INT THE STUDIO, ON BREAN, ON THE PHONE. BREAN He can't respond to the Allegations. (PAUSE) I don't care how many girlscouts are picketing the ... look, look, look, we're coming home with Gold. Eh? Tell him to hold firm for two hours... coming home with Gold. MOSS (TO FAD KING) Did we ever use those costumes for the Border Patrol? Those guys in the Leopard-Skin Hats? Here's my idea.... INT LIMO DAY. THE BACKSEAT OF A LIMO AMES AND BREAN WITH A PHONE TO HIS EAR. THE TELEVISION ON, SHOWING THE GIRL RUNNING ACROSS THE FLAMING BRIDGE, MOSS, FIDDLING WITH THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE PLAYER, WHICH IS PLAYING "GOOD OLD SHOE." BREAN (INTO PHONE) I'll hold. WE HEAR THE SCRATCHY RENDITION OF "GOOD OLD SHOE" ON THE TAPE PLAYER. AMES ...this is a snappy song.... MOSS What'd ya think? BREAN I think it's fine? MOSS It's not too clean... BREAN No, it's... (ON PHONE) I'll, yes, I'm holding, but... (TO MOSS) No, it's ... HE STOPS AND GESTURES MOSS TO TURN OFF THE VOLUME ON THE TAPE. THEY BOTH TURN TOWARD THE TV, WHERE WE SEE A FREEZE FRAME OF THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE, AND AN INSERT OF A MAP OF ALBANIA. ANNOUNCER Have identified the bridge, and the river from that tape. It is a bridge over the river __________, ... what is it, Mayra, a "rhyme...?" ANOTHER WOMAN IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN, AS THE ANGLE WIDENS. MAYRA Actually, Bess, it's an ode, an ancient Albanian ode, praising the river, this particular river, the ________, as a source of peace. It is ironic that.... BREAN (ON PHONE) Hello -- BREAN (ON PHONE) Look: I'm bringing in a tape, I need it copied AT ONCE onto an old acetate, and stuck in the Library of Congress. Gotta Happen Today. MOSS In the Folk Music Section. BREAN In the Folk Music Section. We'll be in in... ON THE TV SCREEN, NOW, IS SENATOR NOLE. BREAN HANGS UP THE PHONE. MAYRA Ironic Bess, that while Peace is At Hand, the spectre of disgrace, unrest haunts the President, who, scant days from the Election... INT. MALL -- DAY BREAN MOSS AND AMES. WALKING -- AN AIDE GIVES BREAN A PHOTO. BREAN ...this the Guy. MOSS Oh, he's gonna be Aces. BREAN Where is he now? MOSS (SHRUGS) Some, military... Special Program, Oklahoma somewhere... BREAN ...we get our hands on him? MOSS They got him standing by. BREAN What's the thing with Morse Code... MOSS Oh, you're gonna love this: INT MALL H.Q., SHOESTORE DAY. WE SEE THE ASSEMBLED THRONG LISTENING TO THE END OF THE SONG, "GOOD OLD SHOE," RAPT. BREAN RISES, AND FLIPS OFF THE TAPE. BREAN Who said, "I care not who writes a country's laws, so long as I can write its songs..."? Stanley Moss, folks... THE GROUP STARTS APPLAUDING. MOSS Hey, hey, I'm just the Producer, I'm just the Stationmaster, Johnny Green wrote that song, and... AMES All we have to do now is sell it to the President. BREAN No, I'm telling you, this guy, this guy is aces, this guy is the Kitty's Sleepwear, this guy, they should of given him every Oscar. Every Oscar. This is the... AN AIDE ENTERS, HOLDING A BOX GINGERLY, SHE BRINGS IT TO BREAN, WHO OPENS IT, HOLDS IT TO THE CAMERA, IT CONTAINS A RATTY OLD 78 RECORD "FOLKLORE OF THE RURAL SOUTH, VOLUME THREE, 'GOOD OLD SHOE' WRITTEN AND SUNG BY NATHANIEL HORN, 1934, ATHENS, GA." BREAN (HOLDING IT UP) Well, this is genius. Who did this? MOSS My prop guy, had a guy out here. BREAN (TO THE AIDE) Get it in the stacks at the Library of Congress, Now. (TO THE ASSEMBLE) Who's seeing the guy at C.B.S.? A YOUNG WOMAN RAISES HER HAND. BREAN Tonight, you remember some song, from your folksong days, something about a Good Old Shoe... AIDE ...tonight... BREAN You're with him tonight, watching the President's Speech, when the President... AIDE What if he's busy tonight? BREAN Lure him. (PAUSE) AIDE What are you saying... BREAN Well, darlin' I ain't your confessor. Tell him you've got some info on the President's sex scandal, it's on your conscience, believe me, he'll drop what he's doing. Okay; Now: Folks, folks, folks, this is a shitty business, and it needs no Ghost Come From the Grave to tell us that. But in Six Days, Lord willing n'Jesus Tarries, I am going to take you beauties into the second term. .....wait til you hear the speech tonight. The 3-0-3 Speech... where's the Fad King, by the way... AIDE (ON THE TELEPHONE, LOOKING WORRIED) ...on the way in. BREAN When you... (TO AIDE) What? I'm busy. AIDE It's the White House. HE HANDS THE PHONE TO BREAN. BREAN Hello. (PAUSE) What? MOSS What? BREAN What do you mean he won't do it? (PAUSE) He won't do what? (TO MOSS) He won't do the sp... (TO PHONE) It's what? It's corny? Corny? Is that the word? Of course it's corny. We wouldn't have him say the flippin' thing it wasn't corny. Put... listen, it's not a question, we're locked in to this speech. NO We're, Are You Listening? LOCKED IN. We're, we're playing way past it, we're past it -- it's the set-up for...he has got to say the speech. (PAUSE) Tell Ames to meet me at the West Gate in... (HE CHECKS HIS WATCH AND HANGS UP THE PHONE) ANGLE AT THE TV, MOSS IS WATCHING THE TELEVISION WHICH IS SHOWING THE "CHANGE HORSES CAMPAIGN." WE SEE TWO KIDS WITH SOAPBOX RACERS. KID ONE (OF HIS MACHINE) ...change it, but I said to my dad, "You Don't Change Horses in the Mid..." MOSS (OF TV) Can you believe this shit? BREAN GRABS MOSS, AND THEY EXIT HURRIEDLY. THE TV GOES TO A CARD READING "COMMITTEE TO RE-ELECT THE PRESIDENT," AND THEN TO A TALK-SHOW FORMAT, THE WOMAN SPEAKING TO A HIGHLY DECORATED GENERAL. GENERAL Yes. Thank God, I say. Thank God for the B-2 Bomber. Thank God for it, for it is not an engine of War, but an engine of Deterrence, as we've seen, and were it not for that deterrence, who is to say, but that American blood, would, even now... EXT WHITEHOUSE. PENNSYLVANIA AVE. DAY. MANY PLACARDS, ON THE GROUND, SHOWING MAPS OF ALBANIA, IN A RED CIRCLE WITH THE RED LINE THROUGH IT, HELD ALOFT, PLACARDS READING, "DON'T CHANGE HORSES," PHOTOPLACARDS SHOWING THE PRESIDENT WITH THE GIRLSCOUT AND THE MOTTO: "THANK HEAVEN FOR LITTLE GIRLS." A REPORTER IS INTERVIEWING A POLICEMAN. POLICEMAN (TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE) I was in the Vietnam Conflict, and I want to tell you that a man who could do what the President did -- I respect him. But, on this issue.... EXT WHITEHOUSE WESTGATE. DAY. A VAN MARKED "JIFFY LOCKSMITHS" IS WAVED THROUGH THE GATE. ANGLE AT THE DRIVETHROUGH PORTICO, AMES WAITING, WE SEE THE VAN, ON WHICH SOMEONE HAS SPRAYPAINTED "FUCK ALBANIA." INT WHITEHOUSE. AMES, CAIN AND LEVY STANDING THERE, WAITING, AS BREAN AND MOSS, DRESSED IN LOCKSMITHS COVERALLS, ENTER THE WHITEHOUSE/ CAMERA TRAVELS WITH THEM AS THEY STRIDE DOWN THE HALL. MOSS (TO AN AIDE) Gemme all your secretaries, puttem in an office now, Would you? Would you do that? (PAUSE) Gimme thirty secretaries... AMSE NODS AT LEVY, WHO TAKES OFF ON HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS. MOSS I need the President. Five minutes of his time. Eh? Five... "the speech is corny"...?? (TO BREAN) You know, this is what they used to say when I went out to Hollywood. "It's too theatrical"... I came from the Theatre, and, anything, over their heads, "It's too Theatric..." AMES He thinks it's too... BREAN First of all, we're locked in to it, secondly: MOSS Don't tell me that the speech is too corny. Your guy got caught with his hand in the cookie Jar. I came to Save him. I don't need this gig, I don't need the money, I don't need the tsuris ... I don't need it. He needs the gig. Y'r gonna go to the goddamn Doctor an exam, What've I got? He tells you you've got Cancer, you tell him, "That's Old Hat, gimme something else"...? HE IS STEERED INTO AN OFFICE, HE OPENS THE DOOR, AND WE SEE THE LAST OF TWENTY SECRETARIES, WANDERING, TAKING SEATS IN A SMALL WAITING ROOM. HE TURNS. AND WE SEE THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, ENTERING. AMES Mr. President, this is St... MOSS Hi, How are ya? Listen to this, willya... MOSS TAKES A SHEAF OF PAPERS FROM HIS POCKET AND GOES THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE SMALL OFFICE INTO THE WAITING ROOM. LEAVING THE DOOR HALF-OPEN, THE PRESIDENT WAITS BEHIND, LOOKING ON THROUGH THE HALF OPEN DOOR. MOSS (TO THE SECRETARIES) ...Ladies, thank you for coming. I have in my hand a . It is a photograph of a man. His name is William A. Schumann. He is the part of the team, of unit 303, who dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in captivity. Held by a dissident, a renegade group of Albanian Terrorists. (HE HOLDS THE PHOTOGRAPH UP) I'm going to call your attention to something...I don't know how many of you know Morse Code... ANGLE BREAN, AND AMES, IN THE CORRIDOR. PACING. PAUSE. AMES You need this Schumann fellow? BREAN Ronnie says we don't need'em for another four days. (PAUSE) ...s'there a problem? AMES No. No...Pentagon says, Army's got'em, they got'm in ..."Custody"... (PAUSE) BREAN How's your wife? AMES Fine. (PAUSE) THE DOOR BEHIND THEM OPENS. BEAT. THEN A WEEPING SECRETARY COMES OUT. BREAN, MOVES INTO THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AMES, WE SEE A ROOM FULL OF SECRETARIES, QUIETLY WEEPING. BREAN LOOKS AROUND FOR MOSS. HE SPOTS HIM THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR. ANGLE. HIS POV, IN THE OVAL OFFICE, MOSS, HANDING THE SPEECH BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS "The Speech Won't Work..." MOSS STARTS OUT OF THE OFFICE, BACK TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND THEN TURNS BACK TO THE PRESIDENT. MOSS ...and see if you can keep your dick in your pants two more weeks, willya...? (HE CLOSES THE DOOR) (TO HIMSELF, DEROGATORILY) "...speech won't work..." AS HE STARTS TO LEAVE THE ROOM, ONE OF THE WEEPING SECRETARIES TAKES HIS HAND AND KISSES IT... HE PICKS UP HIS LOCKSMITH KIT, AND STARTS DOWN THE HALL, MOTIONING TO HIM TWO SECRET SERVICE ESCORTS, "LET'S GO..." HOLD ON THE WAITING ROOM, ONE OR TWO RESIDUAL WEEPING SECRETARIES DABBING AT THEIR EYES. AND A SIGN ON THE BOARD, READING 6 DAYS TO ELECTION, AND %-IN- FAVOR -- 37%. AN AIDE GOES OVER TO THE BOARD, A PHONE TO HIS EAR, AND WIPES OUT 37% AND INSERTS 27%. INT STUDIO APARTMENT NIGHT. A YOUNG FELLOW, IN BLUEJEANS AND T-SHIRT, EATING POPCORN OUT OF A BOWL AND WATCHING TELEVISION. ON THE TELEVISION, THE PRESIDENT, IN THE OVAL OFFICE. TV (VOICE OVER) Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States. WE SEE THE FORM OF THE PRESIDENT COME TO THE PODIUM, AND CAIN MOVES TO THE BACK OF THE READYROOM, WHERE SHE WATCHES, THROUGH A TWO-WAY MIRROR, THE BACK OF THE PRESIDENT, AS THE PRESIDENT PREPARES TO GIVE THE SPEECH. WE SEE, BEYOND THE PRESIDENT THE PODIUM, AND THE GLASS WITH THE TELEPROMPTER TEXT PRINTED ON IT, AS IT SCROLLS UP, AND WE SEE CAIN FOLLOW ALONG, ON THE TEXT AT HER HAND. PRESIDENT Thank you, would you be seated, please. (PAUSE) Ladies and Gentlemen... I thank. A merciful God. And I am sure each and every one of us will thank that Supreme Power, whatever we conceive that power to be -- that peace is at hand. MURMUR AMONG THE PRESSCORPS. THE PRESIDENT CLEARS HIS THROAT, AND TAKES A SIP OF WATER. CAIN LOOKS UP, AND WE SEE ON A VIDEOMONITOR, WHICH SHOWS A REARVIEW OF THE PRESIDENT, THE SAME TELEPROMPTER IMAGE HE SEES, WHICH READS: ...That peace is at hand... (CLEAR THROAT AND TAKE A DRINK) ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, CONTINUIN TO SPEAK. PRESIDENT The threat of Nuc1ear Terrorism has been quelled. We are in contaot with the Albanian Premier, who assures me, and this government credits his assurances, that his country does not wish us ill, and has not. That the threat which we perceived was not of his wish, or of his making. ANGLE CAIN, MOUTHING ALONG, WITH THE SPEECH, SHE LOOKS DOWN, AND WE SEE WRITTEN, ON HER COPY. of his making (BITE LIP) ANGLE AS WE LOOK UP, WE SEE THE PRESIDENT BITING HIS LIP, AND CONTINUING WITH THE SPEECH. PRESIDENT From whence did it come? Our information states it came from a small group of armed, dissidents. Of Armed and Violent Dissidents... ANGLE ON CAIN, AS SHE LOOKS AROUND. ANGLE, HER POV. THE GROUP, LISTENING SPELLBOUND. ANGLE CAIN, AS SHE SMILES TO HERSELF. ANGLE ON THE PRESIDENT. AS HE CONTINUES. PRESIDENT (C) But that group has been, in the main, subdued. Now: How did we come by this information? And. Who subdued that group? (THE PRESIDENT COUGHS) ANGLE CAIN LOOKS DOWN AT HER SCRIPT. SHRUGS, AND LOOKS UP. ANGLE ON THE PRESSCORP, THE REPORTERS, LISTENING WIDEMOUTHED, TO THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH. PRESIDENT It falls to me to reveal to you a secret. (PAUSE) To reveal the existence of a secret group of warriors. Men, yes, and women, trained and pledged their strength, their skills, and, if called upon, their lives, in the service of their fellow Americans. A group so secret, its very existence has been known to just a few, and known not by a Name, but by a Designation Number, Three-Oh-Three... INT HEADQUARTERS IN THE SHOESTORE IN THE MALL, NIGHT. LIZ, THE COSTUME DESIGNER, WORKING ON A DRAWING OF A SHOULDER PATCH, ON A BERET. ON ONE SKETCH WE SEE IT IS ON A BLACK BERET, ON THE ONE BELOW IT IS ON A LEOPARDSKIN BERET. ONE VERSION HAS A COUGAR WITH AN OLILTE BRANCH, WE PAN ONTO VERSION TWO WHICH SHOWS A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD. THE NUMERALS 303 FIGURE PROMINENTLY ON EACH. THE BANNER FOR THE MOTTO IS BLANK. LIZ ...anybcdy know Latin. PRESIDENT (VO) ...member of the group, was left behind what were, then, Enemy Lines. (PAUSE) ANGLE ON LIZ, AS SHE WALKS THROUGH THE H.Q., ON A BOARD WE SEE "DAYS TILL ELECTION 6" AND % IN FAVOR 82%. A HUGE TV SHOWS THE PRESIDENT. PRESIDENT And I can only say, to those family members, of group 303, which members are, I know, as I speak, gathering to comfort you, the parents of the missing man, I can only say, LIZ I need a Latin Motto, anybody know n'y Latin...? PRESIDENT ....and the Albanian Government joins with me, that no, I repeat, No effort will be apared, to find... ANGLE INT LIMO, BREAN AND MOSS WATCHING THE TV PRESIDENT (ON TV) ...this brave man and to bring him home. BEAT. BREAN REACHES OVER AND TURNS DOWN THE SOUND. THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy Doody vontz. BREAN Not bad for government work. (PAUSE) Having a good time. MOSS Haven't had so much fun since Live TV. BREAN SIGHS, TAKES A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN FROM HIS POCKET, CAMERA SEES IT CAPTIONED WITH THE NAME WILLIAM SCHUMANN, ETC. PRESIDENT (HOLDS UP A PHOTOGRAPH) Here's a photograph. It is a photograph of a man. His name is William Schumann. He is a Master Sergeant in the United States Army. A member of the Squad 303....dropped behind Albanian Lines. We've just received this photograph, of Schumann in Captivity. Held by a dissident group of Albanian Terrorists...Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the Morse Code...but...could you bring the camera closer in here, please...? THE CAMERA PUSHES IN, TO A SECTION OF SCHUMANN'S SWEATER. PRESIDENT (VO) You will see his sweater is worn...it has been unraveled in places, and those places form dashes and dots. ANGLE THE PRESIDENT, HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH PRESIDENT Dashes and Dots. And those dots spell out a message in the Morse Code. And that message is, "Courage, Mom..." (PAUSE. PRESIDENT PAUSES, AS IF ALL CHOKED UP) And he got the message through. "Courage. Mom..." (PAUSE. HE COMPOSES HIMSELF) Well, to the Family of William A. Schumann, to the Men and Women of Unit 303, to my fellow citizens I say "courage." I have informed the Albanian government, and I inform you, that we will not rest until the safe return of Sergeant Schwn&nn. (PAUSE) I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname, "Old Shoe." Ladies and Gentleman, we will not treat him like an Old Shoe, we... ANGLE INT, 5HOESTORE HQ. NIGHT. AMES, MOSS AND BREAN, LOOKING AT THE TV. MOSS Trump that, Senator Nole, you Howdy-Doody-looking Vontz. ANGLE YOUNG PERSON'S APARTMENT, NIGHT. PRESIDENT (VO. ON TELEVISION) ...we will not be swayed, will, will not be swayed from Every effort to find our Old Shoe, our... WE HEAR A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE YOUNG WOMAN (VO) Hey...? ANGLE ON THE YOUNG MAN, AS HE TURNS. WE SEE, BEHIND HIM, AN UNMADE BED, AND A YOUNG WOMAN, THE AIDE FROM THE SHOESTORE H.Q., WRAPPED IN A SHEET. AIDE ...wasn't there a folksong called "Old Shoe?" Wasn't there an old, uh ..."folksong"... WHITEHOUSE SITUATION ROOM, WE SEE THE BOARD, READING, DAYS TO ELECTION, ET CETERA, AND THE AIDE, STANDING BY THE PERCENTAGE IN FAVOR SIGN WHICH NOW READS 37%, THE AIDE CROSSES OUT 37 AND WRITES IN 41, THEN LISTENS, AND WIPES OUT THE ONE AND MAKES IT 47. EXT. POOR NEIGHBORHOOD. NIGHT. A BLACK LIMO GLIDES SLOWLY THROUGH THE STIEET. ANGLE, INT THE LIMO. BREAN AND MOSS IN THE BACKSEAT. MOSS It's all, you know ... thinking ahead. Thinking Ahead. That's what producing is. (PAUSE) It's like being a piumber. BREAN Mmm... MOSS You do your job right, nobody should notice. BREAN Mmm. MOSS S'only when you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. (PAUSE) Do you think we could line him up for the Peace Prize? BREAN Hey, our job ends at the Finish Line. MOSS Yes, but I, well, you know... BREAN Just for the Symmetry of the thing...? MOSS ...that's right. BREAN If they can give Kissenger the Peace Prize, I wouldn't be surprised to wake up and find I'd won the Preakness. MOSS Well, yes, but the guy did bring Peace. BREAN Yes, but there wasn't a War. MOSS All the greater accomplishment. THEY LOOK AT THE TELEVISION, PLAYING SILENTLY. ANGLE INS. THE TV SHOWING THE SHOULDER PATCH OF GROUP 303, THE NUMERALS AND A DOVE HOLDING A SWORD, AND A WOLF HOLDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. AND THE WORD "VOLO." BREAN INCREASES THE VOLUME A BIT. ANNOUNCER "Volo," meaning, "I will." As the President bends all his will, to find, and to restore to his country, to his family, and to what are his mounting legion of friends, William Schumann, the Commando Ranger of detacment 3.0.3. -- Sgt. William Schumann...the Old Shoe. BREAN (SIGHS) Hell of a thing... (HE LOOKS OUT OF WINDOW. TO THE DRIVER) Stop there.. THE LIMO STOPS. BREAN AND MOSS EXIT THE LIMO, TAKING A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX WITH THEM. ANGLE, EXT, THE LIMO BREAN AND MOSS, BENT OVER A BOX OF WHAT ARE REVEALED TO BE OLD SHOES. BREAN Ya got to hand it to the Fad King. MOSS No, he's my Hero. THEY PICK UP SEVERAL OLD SHOES, TIE THEM TOGETHER, AND BEGIN HEAVING THEM UP ONTO A LAMPPOST ON THE DESOLATE STREET. A SMALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN BOY COMS UP, AND LOOKS THROUGH THE BOX. KID ...these Shoes are ratty... BREAN Yeah, well, that's why we're flinging them away... THE KID SHRUGS, TAKES SEVERAL SHOES OUT OF THE BOX. BREAN AND MOSS GET INTO THE LIMO, WHICH BEGINS TO DRIVE AWAY. THE KID BEGINS TYING SHOES TOGETHER AND WALKS DOWN THE STREET AND HEAVES ANOTHER PAIR UP TO ANOTHER LAMPPOST. ANGLE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD. SUBURBS NIGHT. WEALTHY LOOKING WHITE GUY OUT WAKING HIS DOG. LIMO COMES UP BEHIND HIM. BREAN GETS OUT OF HIS CAR AND TAKES A CARDBOARD BOX OUT, AFTER HIM. HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THE BOX. FINDS A PAIR OF RATTY "SPERRY TOPSIDER," AND FLINGS THEM UP INTO THE TREE. INT RICH WHITE FELLOW'S HOUSE. NIGHT. THE MAN ENTERS THE BACK-DOOR, WITH THE DOG. INT LIVING-ROOM. HIS WIFE, KNITTING, LISTENING TO THE RADIO. MAN ...there was a fellow in a limousine, outside, throwing... SHE SHUSHES HIM. WE HEAR, ON THE RADIO: RADIO (SINGING, AS PER THE RECORDING WE HEARD PREVIOUSLY) ..."Dog Was Loyal, and the Dog was True...n'there's never been a better than my Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Good Old Shoe...Never have ta call'im when there's Work to do...If I get to Heaven when the Day is Through. I'll know I'll see him waitin', Jest a Good Old Shoe..." ANGLE, ON THE MAN, AS HE NODS ALONG IN TIME, TO THE WISDOM OF THE SONG. F.M. ANNOUNCER (VO) ...was just discovered. A l93O's recording, part of the folksong collection of the Library of Congress, and a fitting... THE MAN, MOVED, GOES INTO THE KITCHEN, WHERE HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK, SWITCHING ON THE TV, WHERE WE SEE JIM BELUSHI, DOING "PANE:" ON SOME TALK SHOW. JIM BELUSHI ...and there's just one thing I'd like to say, and I am speaking to those in Albania who have the man in custody, and from the bottom of my heart: HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA, AND BEGINS SPEAKING IN ALBANIAN. DISSOLVE INT FACTORY LUNCHROOM. DAY. A BUNCH OF WORKERS EATING, SOUNDS OF HEAVY MACHINERY IN THE B.G., AS OTHER WORKERS ENTER. SEVERAL PEOPLE WATCHING A SOAP OPERA. ANGLE ONE WORKER, WITH A T-SHIRT READING, "COURAGE, MOM," AND A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, CHECKS HER WATCH, AND SWITCHES THE CHANNEL TO A NEWSCAST. NEWSCASTER (ON TV) ...the City Council, Denying the charges of...and this just in...the search for William Schumann continues. NATO, US, and Albanian Forces continue to scour the countryside, as... ANGLE ANOTHER SMALL GROUP OF WORKERS, SEVERAL WEARING, "FUCK ALBANIA" T-5HIRTS. ONE INT SHOESTORE H.Q. THE BLANK "% IN FAVOR" CHART. IS FILLED IN BY THE HAND OF AN AIDE. IT READS "87." CAMERA PULLS BACK TO SHOW "3" DAYS TIL ELECTION. BREAN AND MOSS AND THE FAD KING, LEAVING THE OFFICE, AN AIDE COMES AFTER THEM. AIDE ...White House wants to know about the Congressional Medal of Honor. BREAN What about it? AIDE For Schumann. BREAN Well, well, well, well, wait a minute, we got 86 percent. We bring'em back tomorrow, the charts go up, they don't go down... THEY WALY THROUGH THE MALL, PAST A NEWSSTAND SHOWING TIME AND NEWSWEEK BOTH OF WHICH BREAN PICKS UP, ONE SHOWS THE PHOTO OF SCHUMANN AND THE LEGEND, "COURAGE, MOM," THE OTHER A PHOTO OF SCHUMANN, AND THE LEGEND, "GIVE HIM BACK." THE VENDOR IS WEARING A "303" T-SHIRT. BREAN I don't wanna tell them their business, but why not wait to give it to him after the election. When he's gonna need some help.... THE AIDE NODS AND RETIRES. BREAN GESTURES AT THE KID WITH THE 303 T-SHIRT. BREAN King... FAD KING All part of the Service we Render. MOSS (OF BREAN, TO FAD KING) He ain't seen nothin' yet. FAD KING When do you bring'em back? Schumann. BREAN (LOOKS AROUND) Schumann. We're gonna go pick him up tonight. FAD KING Where is he? BREAN Out in Oklahoma. MOSS Going to make a little stop back home, pick up my shirts, show him a little treat. FAD KING See y'at the Finish Line. AS THEY WALK AWAY, MOSS CALLS BACK. MOSS Tell'em to fly the Inaugural Speech past me. BREAN Inaugural Speech, press corp's gonna be jealous of giving up that one... MOSS Hey, lemme close out the thing in style. MOSS I've come to feel It's my thing. (PAUSE) You know, you take a job... You take a job, and, many times, it's just a job. And then... BREAN Hell of a Ride, Stanley... MOSS ...isn't it? (PAUSE) Hey, what-the-hey ... it's all part of the bittersweet... HE GESTURES WITH HIS HANDS, LOOKING FOR THE WORD. INT L.A. LAKERS, STADIUM, NIGHT. BREAN AND MOSS. LOOKING ON, A SILENT AUDITORIUM, MOSS TALKING ON THE PHONE. BREAN SHUSHES HIM. MOSS LOOKS UP. ANGLE HIS P.O.V. THE LAKERS, AND THE OPPOSING TEAM, SILENTLY, IN TWO RANKS, LOOKING ON AS A CHOIR OF YOUNGSTERS OF ALL RACES FILES ONTO THE COURT, AND, DIRECTED BY THEIR CHOIRHASTER, BEGINS TO SING, IN MANY PART HARMONY, "GOOD OLD SHOE." AS THEY CONCLUDE, THE BASKETHALL PLAYERS TAKE OFF THEIR SHOES, AND FLING THEM INTO THE STANDS, WHICH CHEER. ANGLE BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, IN A SKYHOX, WATCHING THE SPECTACLE. BREAN SHAKES HIS HEAD IN SATISFACTION. MOSS No business like it. THEY WALK OUT OF THE BOX. INT LIMO, LEAVING THE STADIUM. POURING RAIN. THE GUARD MOTIONS FOR THE LIMO TO STOP, CHECKS THEIR I.D., AND SAYS, "COURAGE, MOM..." THE GUARDS WEAR A LAPEL PIN OF AN OLD SHOE. ANGLE MOSS AND BREAN LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, THEIR POV. EVERY TREE AND LAMPPOST HAS A PAIR OF OLD SHOES HANGING IN IT. ANGLE INT THE LIMO. BREAN, MOSS, AND AMES, BREAN NODDING, DEEP IN THOUGHT. THE RADIO IN THE LIMO IS PLAYING AN AUDIO VERSION OF THE "DON'T SWITCH HORSES," COMMERCIAL. COWHOY (VO) Rode the fifteen miles from the Bottomland, n'I was a- gonna switch him for a fresher one to do the Ropin'... COWBOY #2 (VO) Waal, but, you know, my Paw always said, Ya Don't Switch Horses... ANNOUNCER Don't switch Horses. Vote. And vote for the man who brought peace to... MOSS REACHES OVER AND TURNS OFF THE RADIO, SIGHS. MOSS Fucking amateurs. Pity of it is, two more days, we bring it all back home... BRKAN ...knock wood... MOSS And who's gonna know? (PAUSE) Who's gonna know what we did. (PAUSE) Who's gonna know...? BREAN (SHRUGS) Pride of a job-well-done... AMES It's the Pride of a Job Well Done, Stanley, yes, but it's more than that. MOSS (DISTRACTED) ...mmm? AMES It's the gratitude of your party, and of your President... MOSS Izzat the thing... AMES Indeed it is. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW. ANGLE, OUT OF HIS WINDOW. AN L.A. VIADUCT, IN THE POURING RAIN, SPRAY PAINTED, WITH A HUGE MURAL OF SCHUMANN, AND THE WORDS, "COURAGE, MOM..." BREAN (ON HIS PHONE) Dean City, Oklahoma... (SHRUGS) Army Special Programs -- tell'em to bring Schumann to the plane, n we'll bring him back, stash him the Hospital...Call the plane....tell me where to pick'm up. MOSS LOOKS OUT OF THE WINDOW, AT THE MURAL. LOOKS OVER IN ADMIRATION AT BREAN. MOSS I'll bet you're good at Chess. BREAN I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move... INT CORPORATE JET NIGHT. THE AIRBORNE JET, NIGHT, BREAN AND MOSS RELAXING. A CO-PILOT COMES BACK INTO THE CABIN, AND CAMERA HINGES HIM TO A BAR -- HE TAKES OUT A BOTTLE AND TOPS UP DRINKS FOR THE TWO MEN -- HE PROGRESSES DOWN THE AISLE, WHERE WE SEE AMES ON THE PHONE. AMES (ON PHONE) ...aspect of the inaugural which.... No. No, the thinking is, to Wait on the Congressional... hello? (TO THE CO-PILOT) We getting some.... hello? Some interference...? CO-PILOT Little rough weather. AMES (AS THE PHONE COMES BACK ON) To wait on the Congressional Medal for Schumann. Moss and Brean think, and I agree, why spend it til you need it. (PAUSE) No. Go ahead and pre... go ahead and prepare it. Sure. (PAUSE) Well, you... hello? You can find the info on him in the Army Special... Hello? The Army Special Programs. CAMERA TRAVELS UP THE CABIN AGAIN, WITH THE CO-PILOT. CO-PILOT We're seeing some difficult weather out of Oklahoma -- but

coming

How many times the word 'coming' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

fixed

How many times the word 'fixed' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

these

How many times the word 'these' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

far

How many times the word 'far' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

sight

How many times the word 'sight' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

believed

How many times the word 'believed' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

emphatically

How many times the word 'emphatically' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

hill

How many times the word 'hill' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

considered

How many times the word 'considered' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

why

How many times the word 'why' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

charged

How many times the word 'charged' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

has

How many times the word 'has' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

bickering

How many times the word 'bickering' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

burst

How many times the word 'burst' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

prevailed

How many times the word 'prevailed' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

tragic

How many times the word 'tragic' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

died

How many times the word 'died' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

than

How many times the word 'than' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

simple

How many times the word 'simple' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

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How many times the word 'discussed' appears in the text?

. . "Bag Gentleman Brown for Glory"--as a leery-eyed loafer expressed it once--"just to let them see up above what a Western Pacific trading skipper looks like." And this was the man, too, who had run off with a dying woman, and had shed tears over her body. "Carried on like a big baby," his then mate was never tired of telling, "and where the fun came in may I be kicked to death by diseased Kanakas if _I_ know. Why, gents! she was too far gone when he brought her aboard to know him; she just lay there on her back in his bunk staring at the beam with awful shining eyes--and then she died. Dam' bad sort of fever, I guess. . . ." I remembered all these stories while, wiping his matted lump of a beard with a livid hand, he was telling me from his noisome couch how he got round, got in, got home, on that confounded, immaculate, don't-you-touch-me sort of fellow. He admitted that he couldn't be scared, but there was a way, "as broad as a turnpike, to get in and shake his twopenny soul around and inside out and upside down--by God!"' CHAPTER 42 'I don't think he could do more than perhaps look upon that straight path. He seemed to have been puzzled by what he saw, for he interrupted himself in his narrative more than once to exclaim, "He nearly slipped from me there. I could not make him out. Who was he?" And after glaring at me wildly he would go on, jubilating and sneering. To me the conversation of these two across the creek appears now as the deadliest kind of duel on which Fate looked on with her cold-eyed knowledge of the end. No, he didn't turn Jim's soul inside out, but I am much mistaken if the spirit so utterly out of his reach had not been made to taste to the full the bitterness of that contest. These were the emissaries with whom the world he had renounced was pursuing him in his retreat--white men from "out there" where he did not think himself good enough to live. This was all that came to him--a menace, a shock, a danger to his work. I suppose it is this sad, half-resentful, half-resigned feeling, piercing through the few words Jim said now and then, that puzzled Brown so much in the reading of his character. Some great men owe most of their greatness to the ability of detecting in those they destine for their tools the exact quality of strength that matters for their work; and Brown, as though he had been really great, had a satanic gift of finding out the best and the weakest spot in his victims. He admitted to me that Jim wasn't of the sort that can be got over by truckling, and accordingly he took care to show himself as a man confronting without dismay ill-luck, censure, and disaster. The smuggling of a few guns was no great crime, he pointed out. As to coming to Patusan, who had the right to say he hadn't come to beg? The infernal people here let loose at him from both banks without staying to ask questions. He made the point brazenly, for, in truth, Dain Waris's energetic action had prevented the greatest calamities; because Brown told me distinctly that, perceiving the size of the place, he had resolved instantly in his mind that as soon as he had gained a footing he would set fire right and left, and begin by shooting down everything living in sight, in order to cow and terrify the population. The disproportion of forces was so great that this was the only way giving him the slightest chance of attaining his ends--he argued in a fit of coughing. But he didn't tell Jim this. As to the hardships and starvation they had gone through, these had been very real; it was enough to look at his band. He made, at the sound of a shrill whistle, all his men appear standing in a row on the logs in full view, so that Jim could see them. For the killing of the man, it had been done--well, it had--but was not this war, bloody war--in a corner? and the fellow had been killed cleanly, shot through the chest, not like that poor devil of his lying now in the creek. They had to listen to him dying for six hours, with his entrails torn with slugs. At any rate this was a life for a life. . . . And all this was said with the weariness, with the recklessness of a man spurred on and on by ill-luck till he cares not where he runs. When he asked Jim, with a sort of brusque despairing frankness, whether he himself--straight now--didn't understand that when "it came to saving one's life in the dark, one didn't care who else went--three, thirty, three hundred people"--it was as if a demon had been whispering advice in his ear. "I made him wince," boasted Brown to me. "He very soon left off coming the righteous over me. He just stood there with nothing to say, and looking as black as thunder--not at me--on the ground." He asked Jim whether he had nothing fishy in his life to remember that he was so damnedly hard upon a man trying to get out of a deadly hole by the first means that came to hand--and so on, and so on. And there ran through the rough talk a vein of subtle reference to their common blood, an assumption of common experience; a sickening suggestion of common guilt, of secret knowledge that was like a bond of their minds and of their hearts. 'At last Brown threw himself down full length and watched Jim out of the corners of his eyes. Jim on his side of the creek stood thinking and switching his leg. The houses in view were silent, as if a pestilence had swept them clean of every breath of life; but many invisible eyes were turned, from within, upon the two men with the creek between them, a stranded white boat, and the body of the third man half sunk in the mud. On the river canoes were moving again, for Patusan was recovering its belief in the stability of earthly institutions since the return of the white lord. The right bank, the platforms of the houses, the rafts moored along the shores, even the roofs of bathing-huts, were covered with people that, far away out of earshot and almost out of sight, were straining their eyes towards the knoll beyond the Rajah's stockade. Within the wide irregular ring of forests, broken in two places by the sheen of the river, there was a silence. "Will you promise to leave the coast?" Jim asked. Brown lifted and let fall his hand, giving everything up as it were--accepting the inevitable. "And surrender your arms?" Jim went on. Brown sat up and glared across. "Surrender our arms! Not till you come to take them out of our stiff hands. You think I am gone crazy with funk? Oh no! That and the rags I stand in is all I have got in the world, besides a few more breechloaders on board; and I expect to sell the lot in Madagascar, if I ever get so far--begging my way from ship to ship." 'Jim said nothing to this. At last, throwing away the switch he held in his hand, he said, as if speaking to himself, "I don't know whether I have the power." . . . "You don't know! And you wanted me just now to give up my arms! That's good, too," cried Brown; "Suppose they say one thing to you, and do the other thing to me." He calmed down markedly. "I dare say you have the power, or what's the meaning of all this talk?" he continued. "What did you come down here for? To pass the time of day?" '"Very well," said Jim, lifting his head suddenly after a long silence. "You shall have a clear road or else a clear fight." He turned on his heel and walked away. 'Brown got up at once, but he did not go up the hill till he had seen Jim disappear between the first houses. He never set his eyes on him again. On his way back he met Cornelius slouching down with his head between his shoulders. He stopped before Brown. "Why didn't you kill him?" he demanded in a sour, discontented voice. "Because I could do better than that," Brown said with an amused smile. "Never! never!" protested Cornelius with energy. "Couldn't. I have lived here for many years." Brown looked up at him curiously. There were many sides to the life of that place in arms against him; things he would never find out. Cornelius slunk past dejectedly in the direction of the river. He was now leaving his new friends; he accepted the disappointing course of events with a sulky obstinacy which seemed to draw more together his little yellow old face; and as he went down he glanced askant here and there, never giving up his fixed idea. 'Henceforth events move fast without a check, flowing from the very hearts of men like a stream from a dark source, and we see Jim amongst them, mostly through Tamb' Itam's eyes. The girl's eyes had watched him too, but her life is too much entwined with his: there is her passion, her wonder, her anger, and, above all, her fear and her unforgiving love. Of the faithful servant, uncomprehending as the rest of them, it is the fidelity alone that comes into play; a fidelity and a belief in his lord so strong that even amazement is subdued to a sort of saddened acceptance of a mysterious failure. He has eyes only for one figure, and through all the mazes of bewilderment he preserves his air of guardianship, of obedience, of care. 'His master came back from his talk with the white men, walking slowly towards the stockade in the street. Everybody was rejoiced to see him return, for while he was away every man had been afraid not only of him being killed, but also of what would come after. Jim went into one of the houses, where old Doramin had retired, and remained alone for a long time with the head of the Bugis settlers. No doubt he discussed the course to follow with him then, but no man was present at the conversation. Only Tamb' Itam, keeping as close to the door as he could, heard his master say, "Yes. I shall let all the people know that such is my wish; but I spoke to you, O Doramin, before all the others, and alone; for you know my heart as well as I know yours and its greatest desire. And you know well also that I have no thought but for the people's good." Then his master, lifting the sheeting in the doorway, went out, and he, Tamb' Itam, had a glimpse of old Doramin within, sitting in the chair with his hands on his knees, and looking between his feet. Afterwards he followed his master to the fort, where all the principal Bugis and Patusan inhabitants had been summoned for a talk. Tamb' Itam himself hoped there would be some fighting. "What was it but the taking of another hill?" he exclaimed regretfully. However, in the town many hoped that the rapacious strangers would be induced, by the sight of so many brave men making ready to fight, to go away. It would be a good thing if they went away. Since Jim's arrival had been made known before daylight by the gun fired from the fort and the beating of the big drum there, the fear that had hung over Patusan had broken and subsided like a wave on a rock, leaving the seething foam of excitement, curiosity, and endless speculation. Half of the population had been ousted out of their homes for purposes of defence, and were living in the street on the left side of the river, crowding round the fort, and in momentary expectation of seeing their abandoned dwellings on the threatened bank burst into flames. The general anxiety was to see the matter settled quickly. Food, through Jewel's care, had been served out to the refugees. Nobody knew what their white man would do. Some remarked that it was worse than in Sherif Ali's war. Then many people did not care; now everybody had something to lose. The movements of canoes passing to and fro between the two parts of the town were watched with interest. A couple of Bugis war-boats lay anchored in the middle of the stream to protect the river, and a thread of smoke stood at the bow of each; the men in them were cooking their midday rice when Jim, after his interviews with Brown and Doramin, crossed the river and entered by the water-gate of his fort. The people inside crowded round him, so that he could hardly make his way to the house. They had not seen him before, because on his arrival during the night he had only exchanged a few words with the girl, who had come down to the landing-stage for the purpose, and had then gone on at once to join the chiefs and the fighting men on the other bank. People shouted greetings after him. One old woman raised a laugh by pushing her way to the front madly and enjoining him in a scolding voice to see to it that her two sons, who were with Doramin, did not come to harm at the hands of the robbers. Several of the bystanders tried to pull her away, but she struggled and cried, "Let me go. What is this, O Muslims? This laughter is unseemly. Are they not cruel, bloodthirsty robbers bent on killing?" "Let her be," said Jim, and as a silence fell suddenly, he said slowly, "Everybody shall be safe." He entered the house before the great sigh, and the loud murmurs of satisfaction, had died out. 'There's no doubt his mind was made up that Brown should have his way clear back to the sea. His fate, revolted, was forcing his hand. He had for the first time to affirm his will in the face of outspoken opposition. "There was much talk, and at first my master was silent," Tamb' Itam said. "Darkness came, and then I lit the candles on the long table. The chiefs sat on each side, and the lady remained by my master's right hand." 'When he began to speak, the unaccustomed difficulty seemed only to fix his resolve more immovably. The white men were now waiting for his answer on the hill. Their chief had spoken to him in the language of his own people, making clear many things difficult to explain in any other speech. They were erring men whom suffering had made blind to right and wrong. It is true that lives had been lost already, but why lose more? He declared to his hearers, the assembled heads of the people, that their welfare was his welfare, their losses his losses, their mourning his mourning. He looked round at the grave listening faces and told them to remember that they had fought and worked side by side. They knew his courage . . . Here a murmur interrupted him . . . And that he had never deceived them. For many years they had dwelt together. He loved the land and the people living in it with a very great love. He was ready to answer with his life for any harm that should come to them if the white men with beards were allowed to retire. They were evil-doers, but their destiny had been evil, too. Had he ever advised them ill? Had his words ever brought suffering to the people? he asked. He believed that it would be best to let these whites and their followers go with their lives. It would be a small gift. "I whom you have tried and found always true ask you to let them go." He turned to Doramin. The old nakhoda made no movement. "Then," said Jim, "call in Dain Waris, your son, my friend, for in this business I shall not lead."' CHAPTER 43 'Tamb' Itam behind his chair was thunderstruck. The declaration produced an immense sensation. "Let them go because this is best in my knowledge which has never deceived you," Jim insisted. There was a silence. In the darkness of the courtyard could be heard the subdued whispering, shuffling noise of many people. Doramin raised his heavy head and said that there was no more reading of hearts than touching the sky with the hand, but--he consented. The others gave their opinion in turn. "It is best," "Let them go," and so on. But most of them simply said that they "believed Tuan Jim." 'In this simple form of assent to his will lies the whole gist of the situation; their creed, his truth; and the testimony to that faithfulness which made him in his own eyes the equal of the impeccable men who never fall out of the ranks. Stein's words, "Romantic!--Romantic!" seem to ring over those distances that will never give him up now to a world indifferent to his failings and his virtues, and to that ardent and clinging affection that refuses him the dole of tears in the bewilderment of a great grief and of eternal separation. From the moment the sheer truthfulness of his last three years of life carries the day against the ignorance, the fear, and the anger of men, he appears no longer to me as I saw him last--a white speck catching all the dim light left upon a sombre coast and the darkened sea--but greater and more pitiful in the loneliness of his soul, that remains even for her who loved him best a cruel and insoluble mystery. 'It is evident that he did not mistrust Brown; there was no reason to doubt the story, whose truth seemed warranted by the rough frankness, by a sort of virile sincerity in accepting the morality and the consequences of his acts. But Jim did not know the almost inconceivable egotism of the man which made him, when resisted and foiled in his will, mad with the indignant and revengeful rage of a thwarted autocrat. But if Jim did not mistrust Brown, he was evidently anxious that some misunderstanding should not occur, ending perhaps in collision and bloodshed. It was for this reason that directly the Malay chiefs had gone he asked Jewel to get him something to eat, as he was going out of the fort to take command in the town. On her remonstrating against this on the score of his fatigue, he said that something might happen for which he would never forgive himself. "I am responsible for every life in the land," he said. He was moody at first; she served him with her own hands, taking the plates and dishes (of the dinner-service presented him by Stein) from Tamb' Itam. He brightened up after a while; told her she would be again in command of the fort for another night. "There's no sleep for us, old girl," he said, "while our people are in danger." Later on he said jokingly that she was the best man of them all. "If you and Dain Waris had done what you wanted, not one of these poor devils would be alive to-day." "Are they very bad?" she asked, leaning over his chair. "Men act badly sometimes without being much worse than others," he said after some hesitation. 'Tamb' Itam followed his master to the landing-stage outside the fort. The night was clear but without a moon, and the middle of the river was dark, while the water under each bank reflected the light of many fires "as on a night of Ramadan," Tamb' Itam said. War-boats drifted silently in the dark lane or, anchored, floated motionless with a loud ripple. That night there was much paddling in a canoe and walking at his master's heels for Tamb' Itam: up and down the street they tramped, where the fires were burning, inland on the outskirts of the town where small parties of men kept guard in the fields. Tuan Jim gave his orders and was obeyed. Last of all they went to the Rajah's stockade, which a detachment of Jim's people manned on that night. The old Rajah had fled early in the morning with most of his women to a small house he had near a jungle village on a tributary stream. Kassim, left behind, had attended the council with his air of diligent activity to explain away the diplomacy of the day before. He was considerably cold-shouldered, but managed to preserve his smiling, quiet alertness, and professed himself highly delighted when Jim told him sternly that he proposed to occupy the stockade on that night with his own men. After the council broke up he was heard outside accosting this and that deputing chief, and speaking in a loud, gratified tone of the Rajah's property being protected in the Rajah's absence. 'About ten or so Jim's men marched in. The stockade commanded the mouth of the creek, and Jim meant to remain there till Brown had passed below. A small fire was lit on the flat, grassy point outside the wall of stakes, and Tamb' Itam placed a little folding-stool for his master. Jim told him to try and sleep. Tamb' Itam got a mat and lay down a little way off; but he could not sleep, though he knew he had to go on an important journey before the night was out. His master walked to and fro before the fire with bowed head and with his hands behind his back. His face was sad. Whenever his master approached him Tamb' Itam pretended to sleep, not wishing his master to know he had been watched. At last his master stood still, looking down on him as he lay, and said softly, "It is time." 'Tamb' Itam arose directly and made his preparations. His mission was to go down the river, preceding Brown's boat by an hour or more, to tell Dain Waris finally and formally that the whites were to be allowed to pass out unmolested. Jim would not trust anybody else with that service. Before starting, Tamb' Itam, more as a matter of form (since his position about Jim made him perfectly known), asked for a token. "Because, Tuan," he said, "the message is important, and these are thy very words I carry." His master first put his hand into one pocket, then into another, and finally took off his forefinger Stein's silver ring, which he habitually wore, and gave it to Tamb' Itam. When Tamb' Itam left on his mission, Brown's camp on the knoll was dark but for a single small glow shining through the branches of one of the trees the white men had cut down. 'Early in the evening Brown had received from Jim a folded piece of paper on which was written, "You get the clear road. Start as soon as your boat floats on the morning tide. Let your men be careful. The bushes on both sides of the creek and the stockade at the mouth are full of well-armed men. You would have no chance, but I don't believe you want bloodshed." Brown read it, tore the paper into small pieces, and, turning to Cornelius, who had brought it, said jeeringly, "Good-bye, my excellent friend." Cornelius had been in the fort, and had been sneaking around Jim's house during the afternoon. Jim chose him to carry the note because he could speak English, was known to Brown, and was not likely to be shot by some nervous mistake of one of the men as a Malay, approaching in the dusk, perhaps might have been. 'Cornelius didn't go away after delivering the paper. Brown was sitting up over a tiny fire; all the others were lying down. "I could tell you something you would like to know," Cornelius mumbled crossly. Brown paid no attention. "You did not kill him," went on the other, "and what do you get for it? You might have had money from the Rajah, besides the loot of all the Bugis houses, and now you get nothing." "You had better clear out from here," growled Brown, without even looking at him. But Cornelius let himself drop by his side and began to whisper very fast, touching his elbow from time to time. What he had to say made Brown sit up at first, with a curse. He had simply informed him of Dain Waris's armed party down the river. At first Brown saw himself completely sold and betrayed, but a moment's reflection convinced him that there could be no treachery intended. He said nothing, and after a while Cornelius remarked, in a tone of complete indifference, that there was another way out of the river which he knew very well. "A good thing to know, too," said Brown, pricking up his ears; and Cornelius began to talk of what went on in town and repeated all that had been said in council, gossiping in an even undertone at Brown's ear as you talk amongst sleeping men you do not wish to wake. "He thinks he has made me harmless, does he?" mumbled Brown very low. . . . "Yes. He is a fool. A little child. He came here and robbed me," droned on Cornelius, "and he made all the people believe him. But if something happened that they did not believe him any more, where would he be? And the Bugis Dain who is waiting for you down the river there, captain, is the very man who chased you up here when you first came." Brown observed nonchalantly that it would be just as well to avoid him, and with the same detached, musing air Cornelius declared himself acquainted with a backwater broad enough to take Brown's boat past Waris's camp. "You will have to be quiet," he said as an afterthought, "for in one place we pass close behind his camp. Very close. They are camped ashore with their boats hauled up." "Oh, we know how to be as quiet as mice; never fear," said Brown. Cornelius stipulated that in case he were to pilot Brown out, his canoe should be towed. "I'll have to get back quick," he explained. 'It was two hours before the dawn when word was passed to the stockade from outlying watchers that the white robbers were coming down to their boat. In a very short time every armed man from one end of Patusan to the other was on the alert, yet the banks of the river remained so silent that but for the fires burning with sudden blurred flares the town might have been asleep as if in peace-time. A heavy mist lay very low on the water, making a sort of illusive grey light that showed nothing. When Brown's long-boat glided out of the creek into the river, Jim was standing on the low point of land before the Rajah's stockade--on the very spot where for the first time he put his foot on Patusan shore. A shadow loomed up, moving in the greyness, solitary, very bulky, and yet constantly eluding the eye. A murmur of low talking came out of it. Brown at the tiller heard Jim speak calmly: "A clear road. You had better trust to the current while the fog lasts; but this will lift presently." "Yes, presently we shall see clear," replied Brown. 'The thirty or forty men standing with muskets at ready outside the stockade held their breath. The Bugis owner of the prau, whom I saw on Stein's verandah, and who was amongst them, told me that the boat, shaving the low point close, seemed for a moment to grow big and hang over it like a mountain. "If you think it worth your while to wait a day outside," called out Jim, "I'll try to send you down something--a bullock, some yams--what I can." The shadow went on moving. "Yes. Do," said a voice, blank and muffled out of the fog. Not one of the many attentive listeners understood what the words meant; and then Brown and his men in their boat floated away, fading spectrally without the slightest sound. 'Thus Brown, invisible in the mist, goes out of Patusan elbow to elbow with Cornelius in the stern-sheets of the long-boat. "Perhaps you shall get a small bullock," said Cornelius. "Oh yes. Bullock. Yam. You'll get it if he said so. He always speaks the truth. He stole everything I had. I suppose you like a small bullock better than the loot of many houses." "I would advise you to hold your tongue, or somebody here may fling you overboard into this damned fog," said Brown. The boat seemed to be standing still; nothing could be seen, not even the river alongside, only the water-dust flew and trickled, condensed, down their beards and faces. It was weird, Brown told me. Every individual man of them felt as though he were adrift alone in a boat, haunted by an almost imperceptible suspicion of sighing, muttering ghosts. "Throw me out, would you? But I would know where I was," mumbled Cornelius surlily. "I've lived many years here." "Not long enough to see through a fog like this," Brown said, lolling back with his arm swinging to and fro on the useless tiller. "Yes. Long enough for that," snarled Cornelius. "That's very useful," commented Brown. "Am I to believe

lifted

How many times the word 'lifted' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

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How many times the word 'rooster' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

prior

How many times the word 'prior' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

gathering

How many times the word 'gathering' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

harley

How many times the word 'harley' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

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1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

glasses

How many times the word 'glasses' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

bread

How many times the word 'bread' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

grenada

How many times the word 'grenada' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

really

How many times the word 'really' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

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How many times the word 'lotta' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

horned

How many times the word 'horned' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

sweetheart

How many times the word 'sweetheart' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

closed

How many times the word 'closed' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

controversial

How many times the word 'controversial' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

rising

How many times the word 'rising' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

eh

How many times the word 'eh' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

about

How many times the word 'about' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

can

How many times the word 'can' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

gifted

How many times the word 'gifted' appears in the text?

1979. DAY. MARGARET peering out of the window, hands sunk in the lap, a flash of the Royal blue fabric of her skirt, clenched in fingers. NEWS READER (V.O.) It's Friday the 4th of May, an historic day for Britain, a Conservative government led by Mrs. Thatcher is set to lead - NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Mrs Ghandi in India, but never in the West has there been a woman Prime Minister. NEW READER 3 (V.O.) The place that she has secured in British history, as the first woman ever to be invited to form a government. (MORE) 51 NEW READER 3 (V.O.) (CONT'D) The bonus of one of the most famous addresses in the world, Number 10 Downing Street. NOISE. FLAGS. BANNERS read `We LOVE YOU MAGGIE' blur through the window, an abstract cacophony of noise and colour- DENIS This is it, steady the buffs old girl. He clasps her hand for a moment as MARGARET smiles at him. The door swings open- EXT. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The CAMERA from behind on MARGARET rising up out of the car, to face a waiting PRESS CORP. The jostle of a POLICE OFFICER, DENIS and OTHERS press her either side- MARGARET I should just like to say that I take very seriously the trust the British people placed in me today, and I will work hard every day to live up to that responsibility. And now, I should like to share with you a prayer of St Francis of Assisi: Where there is discord may we bring harmony... Where there is error may we bring truth... Where there is doubt may we bring faith... Where there is despair may we bring hope.. The CAMERA rises up, high above MARGARET until she is just a blue dot, on the dark tarmac, a lone woman standing facing the circle of cameras and microphones. The door of Number 10 looms ahead. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1979. DAY. The cheers go over .. The CABINET gathering for a group shot- MARGARET Shoulders back, tummies in! Laughter. Michael Heseltine, standing behind MARGARET, reaches out to smooth a stray lock of her hair. 52 MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh. Thank you, Michael. MARGARET seated at the heart of her entire CABINET, as if she is royalty. The FLASH of the CAMERA - the image frozen. INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DAY. The same image, framed on a side table beside MARGARET. The distant hum of a hoover. MARGARET I'm perfectly healthy. There's no need for any of this. Denis appears, his hand inside his shoe, polishing it vigorously. DENIS Just let them look under the bonnet, MT. Check everything is hunky dory. MARGARET hesitates. She sits in silence until- MARGARET Really it's becoming quite tiresome. DENIS What is? MARGARET You. (beat) I was on my own for twenty four years before I met you and I can manage perfectly well without you now. So will you please go away and stop bothering me. INT. CONSULTING ROOM. HARLEY STREET. LONDON. PRESENT.DAY A distinguished consulting room- MARGARET sits silent, as an EMINENT DOCTOR checks her blood pressure. The beep of the machine, steady and monotonous until- DOCTOR Just look straight at me, straight ahead, that's it. 53 The DOCTOR scribbles some notes, considering- DOCTOR (CONT'D) Are you noticing night sweats? MARGARET No DOCTOR Hallucinations? MARGARET hesitates. She shakes her head. MARGARET No. DOCTOR Sleep? MARGARET Yes, I sleep. Four, five hours a night. DOCTOR So you wake early? MARGARET And I stay up late. I always have. She looks at him as if he really should know this about her. The DOCTOR notes this down. DOCTOR We just want to keep abreast of it. MARGARET Yes. Of course. DOCTOR Grief is a very natural state. MARGARET My husband has been gone for years. Cancer. DOCTOR Carol says you've decided to let his things go. Probably a good thing. MARGARET Yes. It was my idea. To Oxfam. Perfectly good stuff. People can use these things. 54 DOCTOR Still it must be a bit disorientating. You are bound to be feeling. MARGARET What? What am I `bound to be feeling'? The DOCTOR looks up from his note taking, hearing the quiet challenge in MARGARET's voice. MARGARET (CONT'D) People don't `think' any more. They `feel'. `How are you feeling?' `Oh I don't feel comfortable with that' `Oh, I'm so sorry but we, the group were feeling...' D'you know, one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than thoughts and ideas. (beat) Now thoughts and ideas. That interests me. (beat) Ask me what I am thinking- The DOCTOR hesitates, letting MARGARET settle until- DOCTOR What are you thinking, Margaret? MARGARET looks at the DOCTOR, quietly struggling with a fury, threatening to unleash- MARGARET Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become your character. And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. What we think, we become. My father always said that. (beat) And I think I am fine. (beat) But I do so appreciate your kind concern. The sudden and persistent buzz of an intercom- MARGARET (CONT'D) Oh, do please answer that. 55 MARGARET holds his gaze, with quiet unwavering steel unsettling the DOCTOR a little. MARGARET (CONT'D) It might be someone who needs you. The DOCTOR reluctantly answers his intercom- INT. CORRIDOR CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. JUNE heads up the stairs, MARGARET following behind. JUNE I'll give Carol a quick ring, let her know we're back, then I'll put your electric blanket on. MARGARET nods. Looking through the bannisters, her eyes fall on- A golf ball running along the floor. MARGARET considers, looks up- DENNIS OOV Steady, steady, steady! Damn. Fore! The ball bounces down the wooden stairs. INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET opens the fridge. A cold plated lunch resting on a shelf. DENIS What about that medicine man, eh? Ah. Cold supper. Standards are slipping Margaret. MARGARET ignores DENIS taking out the plate unwrapping the cellophane off it and placing it on a table, already laid ready for her to eat. DENIS (CONT'D) Well you really gave it to that quack didn't you, darling ? Just like the old days! Hallucinations my eye! DENIS picks up a piece of cucumber from her plate. She absently smacks at his hand. DENIS (CONT'D) How dare he? DENIS smiles. 56 DENIS (CONT'D) But then you give us all the run around, don't you? MARGARET looks at him, silently infuriated. INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET pours herself a whiskey. DENIS looms close, serves a splash of soda. DENIS I know you can hear me, sweetheart, so there's no use pretending you can't. MARGARET turns, ignoring him. MARGARET Enough. Denis, enough! DENIS (saluting) Dismissed! INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET sits reading DENIS' spy novel. DENIS She does it in the end. Kills him- MARGARET slams the book closed. DENIS (CONT'D) I don't know why you're being so scratchy. MARGARET's eyes dart to the clock. DENIS (CONT'D) It's not as if you've got anyone else to talk to. Shaking her head, MARGARET tries to block him out. MARGARET (V.O.) When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride - 57 DENIS You know, it's a marvel to me that you can still quote huge chunks of Kipling but try remembering the name of that woman who's just made you that godawful cold collation... No? Come on... you can do it... month of the year... one syllable... rhymes with moon ... MARGARET (sudden/like a lightbulb) June. MARGARET turns to DENIS, a quiet appalling victory. DENIS June! Bingo. Knew you'd get there in the end. "When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride, He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside, but the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail. For the female of the species is more deadly than the male..." As he continues, MARGARET reaches for the remote, turns the television on. She moves onto the radio. Then the stereo. She moves on, talking to herself- A gradual growing cacophony of sound- INT. KITCHEN. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. MARGARET flicks on mixers, radios, toasters- INT. DRAWING ROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. DUSK. The noise almost unbearable now- MARGARET turns on a hi-fi, the TV now on- MARGARET If I can't hear you then I can't see you. And if I can't see you then you are not here. MARGARET closes her eyes. 58 MARGARET (CONT'D) And if you are not here, I am not going mad. I will not...I will not go mad. She opens them and suddenly freezes on seeing an image of herself, bewildered and leaving Harley Street, caught on the TV- BBC VOICEOVER Baroness Thatcher made an apparently routine visit to her doctor today. Although rarely seen in public, Lady Thatcher, the longest serving Prime Minister of the twentieth century, remains a controversial figure. MARGARET turns up the volume to full, trying to hear over the cacophony of noise the changing images on the TV illuminating her pale face. JUNE Margaret- MARGARET barely sees her, eyes riveted to the TV. BBC VOICE OVER Almost lovingly dubbed by the Soviets The Iron Lady, she's also credited, with her friend Ronald Reagan, with a decisive role in the ending of the Cold War. Her supporters claim she transformed the British economy and reversed the country's post-war decline. Her detractors blame her savage public spending cuts and sweeping privatization of - JUNE moves like a dervish through the house, muting the television and turning off the last of the appliances- A gradual silence descends until- MARGARET takes in the image of herself on the mute screen, standing bewildered on the steps of Harley Street. MARGARET (almost to self) I don't recognize myself. 59 INT. BATHROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. The shelf of a bathroom cabinet. Shaving brush. Razor. Medicaments. MARGARET begins to pull them all off the shelves. DENIS (O.S.) Am I out of the doghouse yet? Then a pair of glasses. More gently, MARGARET'S hand reaches into the cupboard and takes the glasses in her hand. INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET lies in bed, book in her lap, DENIS beside her reading the paper. She closes the book and pulls off her reading glasses. MARGARET They're unveiling that portrait of me at Number 10 next month. The invitation's on the mantelpiece. So there'll be Churchill, Lloyd George and me. Just the three of us. SILENCE- MARGARET (CONT'D) I said I didn't want any big fuss but they insisted.. SILENCE- Lovely little article in The Telegraph... The Woman Who Changed the Face of History.. SILENCE- Voices from the past intrude - FOOT VO Less than two years ago, the Prime Minister quoted St. Francis and talked about bringing faith, hope and harmony to this country. MARGARET suddenly reaches out a hand, her hand shaking- MARGARET Denis? She turns in bed. Sudden panic, DENIS is gone- 60 A HECKLING CHAMBER RISING THROUGH- INT. CHAMBERS. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. A HECKLING chamber as MARGARET sits, facing LABOUR OUTRAGE, the labour leader, FOOT, grips his paper, mid speech- FOOT Can the Right Honourable Lady deny, that having brought about the highest level of unemployment since 1934- MARGARET bides her time on the front bench, waiting her turn, surrounded by her CABINET MINISTERS including HOWE, PYM and HESELTINE- FOOT (CONT'D) The biggest fall in total output in steel and coal production in one year since 1931. And the biggest collapse in industrial production since 1921. MARGARET remains seemingly calm and serene, and yet one hand quietly grips the bench, her wedding ring tapping against the wood nervously. FOOT (CONT'D) Can she also accept that her free market economics designed to create a growing middle class ensures that the rich get richer and the poor are irrelevant! INT. CAR. STREETS. LONDON. 1980. DAY A rising roar of voices - PROTESTORS Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! Maggie Maggie Maggie! Out Out Out! MARGARET in her car driving through the blur of furious PROTESTORS. PROTESTOR 1 You're supposed to be a mother! You're not a mother, you're s monster! You're a monster! 61 INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. 1980. EVENING. CLOSE UP on a button - The STEADY IN and OUT of a needle pulling taut on a thread. MARGARET stands, swathed in a glittering long dinner dress, a SEAMSTRESS stitching a stray button on the front of the bodice on her dress. Geoffrey Howe stands nearby in a dinner jacket. HESELTINE May we have a word, Prime Minister? A bank of MINISTERS, including HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR, HOWE and GILMOUR, gather before her. MARGARET Yes, but in order to arrive at the palace on time, Geoffrey and I are will be walking out of that door in 15 minutes. As you can see - HESELTINE I know you're running late Margaret, but we have to address this situation in light of tomorrow's blistering press coverage. Blistering! The knives are out. Your draft budget's been leaked, Geoffrey, they are baying for our blood! HOWE Michael we can't possibly buckle at the first sign of difficulty. The SCRATCH of PRIOR's hand on unkempt hair- HESELTINE No one is saying we have to buckle. PRIOR But is this really the time to make these spending cuts in the middle of one of the deepest recessions this country has ever experienced? HESTLETINE We need a plan of action, Margaret. PYM Absolutely. A strategy. 62 GILMOUR We must be armed. PRIOR Agreed. MARGARET stiffens, the needle momentarily hovering mid stitch as MARGARET shifts a little- The SEAMSTRESS resumes sewing- PRIOR (CONT'D) There's a perception, Margaret rightly or wrongly, that we are now completely out of touch with the country. The patronizing tone inflames her. MARGARET Really. (beat) How much is a pack of Lurpak? PYM Lurpak? MARGARET Butter, Francis. (silence) Forty two pence. Anchor butter is forty pence. Flora margarine, still the cheapest, is thirty eight pence. I can assure you I am not out of touch. Another MINISTER - GILMOUR - whispers the words: "Grocer's Daughter" - as a put down. The men smirk. MARGARET has caught the moment. A sudden flash of the pretty girls in the Grantham Street long ago, laughing at her. MARGARET (CONT'D) What - did you say? GILMOUR makes a gesture. GILMOUR Nothing. Nothing, Prime Minister. MARGARET is furious. 63 MARGARET Don't try to hide you opinions. Goodness me, I'd much rather you were honest and straightforward about them - instead of continuously and damagingly leaking them to the press. Well? MOMENTARILY SILENT- MARGARET's eyes travel around the room in waiting- PYM Well, people can't pay their mortgages. GILMOUR The manufacturing industry is practically on its knees. PYM Honest, hard-working, decent people are losing their homes. It's terribly shameful. GILMOUR The point is, Prime Minister, that we must moderate the pace - HESELTINE - if we're even to have a hope of winning the next election- PYM Quite right. MARGARET Ah. Worried about our careers, are we? They make noises - to the effect that nothing could be further from the truth. But MARGARET has their measure. MARGARET (CONT'D) Gentlemen, if we don't cut spending we will be bankrupt. Yes the medicine is harsh but the patient requires it in order to live. Shall we withhold the medicine? No! We are not wrong. We did not seek election and win in order to manage the decline of a great nation. (MORE) 64 MARGARET (CONT'D) The people of this country chose us because they believe we can restore the health of the British economy and we will do just that! Barring a failure of nerve. The SNAP OF COTTON - MARGARET looks at them in a cold fury... MARGARET (CONT'D) Anything else? SILENCE- MARGARET nods to the seamstress, dismissing her- MARGARET (CONT'D) Thank you. You saved the day once again, Crawfie, you're an angel. MARGARET straightens her cuff, testing the button, as the meeting slowly disbands and the MINISTERS move away. HOWE You can't close down a discussion because it's not what you wish to hear. MARGARET I don't expect everyone just to sit there and agree with me. But what kind of leader am I if I don't try to get my own way - to do what I know to be right. HOWE Yes. But Margaret, one must be careful of testing one's colleagues' loyalty too far. MARGARET glances up watching the MINISTERS disappearing, in whispered conversation, like conspirators. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Rioting in Brixton, burning cars, huge civil unrest - TV JOURNALIST (V.O.) We are now one split nation, with a huge gulf dividing the employed from the unemployed. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) Protest marches, `People's March for Jobs', `No pit closures" - 65 UNION ACTIVIST (V.O.) The Thatcher plan is to break the Trade Union movement. MARGARET (V.O.) There must be closures of uneconomic coal mines, we seek only an efficient industry. (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) violent clashes between protesting miners and police - MINER'S WIFE (V.O.) The miners are being starved back to work, the need is desperate! INT. CORRIDOR. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1981. DAY. MARGARET sweeping along an endless corridor, surrounded by her cabinet, hard on her heels. HOWE, HESELTINE, PYM, PRIOR and OTHERS. MARGARET talking, they hang on her every word. MARGARET (V.O.) There are those who would say hold back, there are those who would make us retreat - INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret mid speech. MARGARET But we shall never give in to them. We shall never waver, not for a second, in our determination to see this country prosper once again. The party faithful erupt in cheers, seconded by all Margaret's courtiers on the platform. PYM, PRIOR, HESELTINE, HOWE and above all DENIS, applauding as if their lives depended on it. INT. LADIES. HOUSE OF COMMONS. 1980. DAY. MARGARET sits clutching the sink, a light sweat breaking across her forehead. She looks up- NEWS READER (V.O.) A car bomb has exploded outside Harrods department store, killing six people and injuring 71. 66 NEWS READER 2 (V.O.) Eleven soldiers died today when two bombs were detonated during military parades in Hyde Park and Regent's Park. Seven horses also died in the blasts. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) bombed buildings, horses lying dead in the street, an IRA banner. NEWS READER 3 (V.O.) The IRA have claimed responsibility. INT. BEDROOM. CHESTER SQUARE. LONDON. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET lost in restless sleep- INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) IRA graffiti scrawled on a wall, paramilitaries fire guns, sirens wail. INT. CONFERENCE CENTRE BRIGHTON. 1980. Margaret on the podium. MARGARET And now, it must be business as usual. THE BRIGHTON GRAND HOTEL. INT. SITTING ROOM. SUITE. GRAND HOTEL. 1984. NIGHT. DENIS in pyjamas, brushes his teeth in the bathroom. He glances at MARGARET through the open door as she sits, still in evening dress, working on her speech. DENIS Come on love, get to bed. I don't know why you do this to yourself every year, it's a speech at conference, not the Magna Carta! She looks up, distracted. DENIS (CONT'D) Time to call it a day, darling. It's ten to three, for God's sake. MARGARET I know, I'm coming DT. Nearly there - BOOM! 67 An almighty explosion rips through the room; wood, glass, furniture splinters, curtains flay from the walls. The fall of plaster, devastating, the hotel room obliterated, reduced to a smoking, dusty rubble. MARGARET stands ghostlike, covered in debris. MARGARET (CONT'D) (calling out) Denis! MARGARET searching through the haze of fallen plaster, covered with dust, slowly clearing to reveal- MARGARET (CONT'D) (more desperate) Denis- there you are. Are you alright? DENIS ghostlike, covered in dust, still in his pyjamas, holding up an obliterated pair of shoes. DENIS My shoes! Beyond, the wall of the bathroom entirely blown away - The CAW of gulls- EXT. GRAND HOTEL. BRIGHTON. 1984. NIGHT. Chaos outside the Grand Hotel in the aftermath of the bomb. The WHIR of SIRENS- DENIS and MARGARET sit in their car, looking out in silent shock at the devastated Grand hotel, reflected on the glass of the car windows. MARGARET (V.O.) That's when I thought I'd lost you. A TELEPHONE RINGS CUTTING THROUGH FROM ANOTHER TIME... INT. BEDROOM. HOUSE. CHESTER SQUARE. PRESENT. NIGHT. MARGARET wakes with a start, confused and fumbles for the telephone by her bed- MARGARET (picking up phone) Mark?... Hello darling... No, I'm fine... I'm very well... 68 MARGARET squints, fingers fumbling for DENIS' watch. MARGARET (CONT'D) How is... How's... Sarah?... And the children..? MARGARET sits up - MARGARET (CONT'D) ...Oh... You can't... That's a pity... I was hoping to see you... No really darling... That's fine... Of course... another time... Lovely Darling... Can't wait...Yes... MARGARET suddenly relents, a flicker of sudden and urgent need, caught in her eyes- MARGARET (CONT'D) (beat) Mark? Silence- MARK gone. MARGARET hangs up, stares at- I Whistle A Happy Tune from the King and I just audible- INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET stands in the doorway, a jaunty "I Whistle A Happy Tune" seeping from the television. MARGARET That was Mark. Not able to come. DENIS (cutting in) Boy's always going AWOL. MARGARET Well it costs him a great deal to fly everyone up here. DENIS There you go, making excuses for him. Now look where it's got you. DENIS stands dressed in dinner jacket and bow tie as he reads the back of "The King and I" DVD. DENIS (CONT'D) Did you know Yul Brynner was a gypsy from Vladivostok? 69 MARGARET Yes. He moved to Paris when he was fourteen. He played the King of Siam 4,625 times on the London and Broadway stages. What are you doing? DENIS (turning round shaking a cocktail) One likes to make an effort. A snifter? MARGARET You're dead, Denis. DENIS Ah. Well, if I'm dead... who are you talking to? Shall we dance ? He takes Margaret in his arms. The music changes to `Shall we Dance' from `The King and I' as DENIS takes a confused MARGARET in his arms and begins an expansive waltz round the room. The room turns. YOUNG DENIS dancing with the YOUNG MARGARET. Now its OLD DENIS dancing with OLD MARGARET again. DENIS loses his footing, and MARGARET lurches towards the desk where her eyes fall on figurines of Falklands soldiers. She stares hard. NEWS READER (V.O.) The Falkland islands, the British Colony in the South Atlantic, has fallen. Argentina claims its marines went ashore this morning as a spearhead to capture key targets, including the capital, Port Stanley. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET sits, composed, staring up at a phalanx of military men and her ministers. MARGARET Gentlemen, the Argentinian Junta - which is a fascist gang - has invaded our sovereign territory. This cannot be tolerated. May I make plain my negotiating position. I will not negotiate with criminals or thugs. The Falkland islands belong to Britain, and I want them back. Gentlemen, I need you to tell me today if that is possible. 70 ADMIRAL LEACH Possible... just, Prime Minister. We can have a Task Force ready to sail in forty-eight hours. MARGARET is visibly stunned. MARGARET Forty-eight hours? ADMIRAL LEACH But - MARGARET But? ADMIRAL LEACH We have a very narrow weather window. We can't fight in winter down there. Nobody can. If we are going, we have to go now. INT. STUDY. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. MARGARET at her desk. MARGARET Why were the islands left without any naval protection? JOHN NOTT In the last round of Defence cuts we judged the risk of invasion to be small. MARGARET Did we? JOHN NOTT And if you remember, Prime Minister, you agreed that we should reduce the naval presence in the area to an absolute minimum. MARGARET taps her fingers against the map, with growing irritation. INT. CABINET. DOWNING STREET. DAY. MARGARET sits alone. 71 INT CORRIDOR. . CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET is under attack. HOWE Margaret, the cost of sending 28,000 men and a hundred ships twelve thousand miles, almost to Argentina, will be absolutely crippling. MARGARET I don't think we should be worrying about money at this point, Geoffrey. GEOFFREY HOWE We can't afford to go to war. INT. STUDY. LONDON. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET sits alone. ADMIRAL LEACH (V.O.) We have to go now. MARGARET (V.O.) The government has now decided that a large task force will sail, as soon as all preparations are complete. INTERCUT (ARCHIVE FOOTAGE) the Task Force sets sail. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY MARGARET paces, deep in thought. MP 1 (O.S.) Prime Minister we do still have three weeks before our ships reach the islands. MP 2 (O.S.) All we're saying is that we shouldn't give up on trying to find a diplomatic solution. INT. CORRIDOR. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY. A tea trolley and an American entourage surge down a Downing Street corridor. 72 MP 1 The U.S. Secretary of State has arrived, Prime Minister. INT. DRAWING ROOM. DOWNING STREET. LONDON. 1982. DAY Haig and Margaret sit facing each other, flanked by senior ministers. GENERAL HAIG So you are proposing to go to war over these Islands. They're thousands of miles away, a handful of citizens, politically and economically... insignificant, if you'll excuse me - MARGARET Just like Hawaii, I imagine. GENERAL HAIG I'm sorry? MARGARET 1941, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour. Did America go cap in hand and ask Tojo for a peaceful negotiation of terms? Did she turn her back on her own citizens there because the islands were thousands of miles from mainland United States? No, no, no! We will stand on principle or we shall not stand at all. GENERAL HAIG But Margaret with all due respect when one has been to war.... MARGARET With all due respect sir, I have done battle every single day of my life, and many men have underestimated me before. This lot seem bound to do the same but they will rue the day. BEAT MARGARET turns to a tea trolley close by- MARGARET (CONT'D) Now, shall I be mother? HAGUE looks confused, MARGARET lifting the teapot- 73 MARGARET (CONT'D) Tea, Al, how do you take your tea? Black or white? INT. CENTRE OF OPERATIONS. 1982. DAY. NAVAL MEN murmuring messages quietly to NAVAL ATTACHES. Male lips to male ears, something MARGARET has seen all her life. FRANCIS PYM and JOHN NOTT stand near MARGARET. INTERCUT (STOCK FOOTAGE) the naval fleet sails towards the Falklands. A map of South Georgia and the Falkland Islands. Model boats sit on the water, flags sit on the islands. Argentinian flags. MARGARET stares at the map. A whispered message to one of the ATTACHES. He moves a model boat on the map a few inches, leading a fleet of smaller model boats. NAVAL ATTACHE 1 The Argentinian ship the General Belgrano and her escorts are pursuing course 273 degrees toward the Argentinian mainland. We are tracking it with our submarine HMS Conqueror. He points to a model submarine at some distance from the Argentinian boats. MARGARET Is this ship a threat? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE Both of these ships are carrying Exocet missiles, Prime Minister. Just yesterday they launched- then aborted- an attack inside the exclusion zone. There is a risk they could try it again. FRANCIS PYM The Belgrano is sailing directly away from the islands. Can it really be regarded as a threat ? ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE She's been changing course continually. There's a strong possibility that they're attempting a pincer movement on our carrier group. (MORE) 74 ADMIRAL FIELDHOUSE (CONT'D) I advise that we engage them: hit the Belgrano as a warning to the others. Send them all back to port. MARGARET turns to JOHN NOTT and FRANCIS PYM. FRANCIS PYM It'll play badly internationally. We'll be seen as aggressors. She stares at the map once more. One of the men supervising the map moves the model of the Belgrano a fraction further North. JOHN NOTT This will be an escalation, Prime Minister. She looks to LEACH. LEACH If there is to be an escalation, it's better that we start it. MINISTER It is steaming away, Prime Minister. Everyone is staring at MARGARET. Even the ASSISTANTS bustling in the background have stopped and are listening. Male faces turned to her. She herself seems caught in a pincer movement between the politicians and the servicemen. MARGARET Sink it. INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage A flash of a torpedo cutting through the water. A thunderous explosion. Flashes of television images- striated and blurry- the Belgrano listing in the water. Reports of the sinking read out by the MOD's Announcer. INT. DRAWING ROOM.CHESTER SQUARE.PRESENT.NIGHT. MARGARET and the Falklands figurine, silhouetted against the dawn light. 75 INT. DOWNING STREET. 1982. NIGHT TV Footage CLOSE now - we see a man on fire, burning. VOICES mixing in and out. TV JOURNALIST V.O. ... HMS Sheffield, a Type 42 destroyer, was attacked and hit late this afternoon by an Argentine missile... TV JOURNALIST V.O. (CONT'D) ...it is seen as a retaliation for the sinking of the General Belgrano, in which over 300 Argentinian sailors died... MARGARET'S eyes shining, as if with tears. A soft knocking at the door. She dabs them away quickly. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister - JOHN NOTT enters. JOHN NOTT (CONT'D) Latest casualty figures from the Sheffield. He hands her a piece of paper. MARGARET (sotto voce) I must write to them. JOHN NOTT Prime Minister? MARGARET The families. I must write to them... INT. DOWNING STREET. STUDY. 1982. NIGHT. MARGARET at her desk, looks up at Pym. MARGARET Foreign Secretary... PYM I've just been briefed by Admiral Fieldhouse. (MORE) 76 PYM (CONT'D) He told me bluntly that if the Argentinians are prepared and willing to risk their aircraft, they have enough missiles to cripple most of our fleet. A beat. JOHN NOTT President Reagan and President Bellaunde of

lock

How many times the word 'lock' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

tattoo

How many times the word 'tattoo' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

breath

How many times the word 'breath' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

pulls

How many times the word 'pulls' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

shake

How many times the word 'shake' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

girls

How many times the word 'girls' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

seize

How many times the word 'seize' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

heavy

How many times the word 'heavy' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

worried

How many times the word 'worried' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

horror

How many times the word 'horror' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

dance

How many times the word 'dance' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

as

How many times the word 'as' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

reasons

How many times the word 'reasons' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

wanted

How many times the word 'wanted' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

somewhere--

How many times the word 'somewhere--' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

ensconced

How many times the word 'ensconced' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

might

How many times the word 'might' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

bad

How many times the word 'bad' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

wrong

How many times the word 'wrong' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

thought

How many times the word 'thought' appears in the text?

7/06/05 24. DOUG So what are you saying? KELLY I'm saying you have changed. And frankly, i don't like it. I like you the way you were. I liked it when you weren't afraid of looking stupid. I liked it when we laughed. I liked it when we danced. DOUG Hey, I'll dance! It's just this music is lame. People like me need a fresh beat! Doug walks over to the stereo and changes the station. "Cand Sho " h y-50 Cent starts playing. Doug nods along with the beat, as the guests all now stare at him. DOUG (CONT'D) (yelling over music) Awwww, yeah. This is the shit! It ain't 1980 anymore, man. Yeah! (SINGS ALONG) I take you to the... Andy shop-- Doug tries to confidently sing along, but struggles awkwardly, as he's obviously never heard the song before. KELLY (urging, to Doug) Honey, stop it. You're being an ass. DOUG What!? I thought this was what you wanted? I'm dancing! Doug starts grinding and shimmying to the beat. Kelly grits her teeth. DOUG (CONT'D) Come on, baby! Just because we're married ten years doesn't mea n we're old people. Let's dance! It fee ls goooood! Doug makes another spastic dance move, then suddenly grimaces and grabs his chest. DOUG (CONT'D) Nope, that feels bad-- KELLY Doug? What's wrong? Are you okay? "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 25. DOUG Yeah. I'm just-- Ow: That's-- Yeah, I should go to the hospital-- Doug staggers across the carpet as people run to help him. KELLY Doug!? DISSOLVE TO: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - AN HOUR LATER Doug is in a bed, with Kelly next to him. A DOCTOR enters with a chart. DOCTOR Well, Mr. Matthews-- DOUG Dr. Matthews, actually. DOCTOR Oh, really? Great. Then, I can say this a lot easier. You had a hypertensive myocardial seizure. Doug nods confidently, then, after a moment: DOUG (DEFEATED) I'm a dentist, actually... I have no idea what you just said. DOCTOR Oh. Sorry. It looks like you had a stress-induced panic attack. DOUG Stress-induced? I'm not stressed. DOCTOR Well, it's probably been pretty buried. I actually see it a lot with middle-aged men. Work, family, it can take a toll on you. DOUG I'm not middle-aged. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 26. DOCTOR Yeah, I see that a lot, too. Anyway. We should have you out of here soon. The doctor smiles and exits the room. Kelly looks at Doug. DOUG I am middle aged, aren't I? KELLY Only mathematically. Doug takes this in. KELLY (CONT'D) Doug, Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you sang a Bon Jovi song? DOUG What? KELLY You used to sing Bon Jovi songs at the top of your lungs. Like you didn't care who heard you, or how dopey it sounded. Then one day, you just stopped. That's how it's been with everything. Romance, sense of humor, the way you used to give me that cocky little wink when you took off your shirt... It's all faded away, leaving just a shell of what you used to be. Why? Why no more Bon Jovi songs? DOUG I don't know. There's just a lot weighing me down these days, you know? KELLY Like what? You have a great career, a perfect family. Money is fine. The only thing that could be weighing you down is me. Is it me? Are you tired of me? DOUG No! of course, not. I could never be TIRED OF-- Doug stops himself, as it dawns on him. You can see the horror of realization creep across his face. He looks at Kelly, wide-eyed. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 27. DOUG (CONT'D) (REALIZING) It's me. I'm weighing me down. I'm not a guy I'd hang out with anymore, I'm... Me. What's cool about me? I don't even eat carbs. KELLY Then eat them. I'd rather have you sing than have a thirty-four waist. DOUG I still have a thirty-- KELLY No, you don't, Doug. I buy your pants. (THEN) Look. We've been married ten years. And personally, I'd like to be married fifty more, but if you stay like this... Then... I don't know... DOUG We are going to be married fifty more years, Kelly. I'm going to find old Doug. I just have to figure out where to look. Kelly takes a breath, and pulls out a map. She hands it to Doug, who looks at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Woody's map? KELLY I took it away from him at the party. He wouldn't stop waving it at Bob and Dudley. DOUG I thought you agreed it was a bad idea. KELLY It might be. But I'm desperate, Doug. I want us to be happy again. So go on it. It's my anniversary present to you. DOUG Really? (considers, then) I only got you an ankle bracelet. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 28. KELLY All I want is old Doug back. Please. This marriage can't survive without him. Doug takes this in, and smiles at her. She's a good wife, and he knows it. Suddenly, BOB enters the room. BOB Doug! Are you okay? DOUG Yeah, I'm okay. Just stress. BOB Oh, man. Thank god. KELLY (TO BOB) Where's Karen? BOB Oh, she's waiting in the parking-- SFX: A loud honk from the parking lot. BOB (CONT'D) That's her. Bob looks out the window nervously. Kelly looks at Doug. KELLY You all need this trip. Doug gives her a knowing nod, then turns to Bob. DOUG Bob. Let's forget about Daytona Bike week. Let's ride across U.S. 50. BOB Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, We'll be leaving behind everything we're used to. SFX: The horn honks again from outside. KAREN (O.C.) (yelling from parking lot) Bob!? You said two minutes! I'm not circling!! Bob cringes. Doug shares a look with Kelly, then to Bob: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 29. DOUG Yeah. I think that might be okay. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. STREET - THE NEXT WEEK DOUG is riding his Harley, which is loaded with gear (sleeping bag, spare gas tank, saddle bags). He approaches a freeway entrance ramp, where WOODY and DUDLEY and BOB are waiting on their bikes, next to an entrance ramp sign that reads: U.S. Highway 50. The guys all tap fists, then notice Dudley is grinning ear to ear. WOODY (TO DUDLEY) What? What's wrong with you? DUDLEY I got a tat. BOB A tattoo? You got a tattoo? DUDLEY I'm a biker, dude! I got a tat! Dudley yanks his jacket down to his elbows and we see he is wearing a sleeveless shirt underneath. On his bicep is a tattoo of the Macintosh Apple. The guys nod, trying to look impressed. DOUG Wow. That's... DUDLEY Trademarked, I know. But what are they going to do? It's in my skin, bitch! Dudley laughs and pulls on his jacket, as Woody ties a bandana skull-cap on his head. The guys look at Woody. DOUG You're not wearing a helmet? WOODY Nape. I don't want anything between me and the road, man. DOUG You will if your head falls on it. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 30. Woody shrugs and starts his bike. WOODY Look, the only rule on this trip is to have no plan. We're riding to San Francisco, and nothing else is planned. Just riding free. DOUG Well, if we're going to make it in five days, we'll should probably get to Illinois by tonight. BOB Yeah, the way I mapped it out - we should be a hundred miles past St. Louis by sundown. WOODY What? No. No plan. It's the open road. Who knows where we'll be. DOUG I do. I have this little GPS system. Doug shows them a handheld GPS system. Woody grabs it and throws it into a storm drain. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey! What the hell, man? That was expensive! WOODY I did it for the good of the trip, Doug. You don't need GPS to discover America. We just need the wind, our bikes, and freedom. And if we have an emergency, I always have a cell phone-- Woody takes out a cellphone. Doug grabs it and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG Hah! How's that feel? Woody gives Doug a long look, then slowly smiles. WOODY It felt good. It felt damn good. (ANNOUNCES) No cell phones! "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 31. DOUG (WORRIED) What? BOB He's right, Doug. Wild Hogs! Bob takes his cellphone and throws it in the storm drain. DOUG (TO BOB) You just did that so Karen wouldn't call. BOB Yup. Bob starts his bike. DOUG So we're not even going to talk about this? I mean, shouldn't we at least-- DUDLEY Yeeeeaaah! Freedom!! Dudley throws his cellphone, but instead of going into the storm drain, it goes flying into traffic and smashes against an oncoming pickup truck. We hear the truck screech to a stop after it passes them. DOUG (QUICKLY) Okay, let's ride! The guys all hastily start their bikes and take off up the freeway ramp. We hear the truck driver screaming profanities as they guiltily ride away. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY MUSIC CUE: BLUE OYSTER CULT's "(DON'T FEAR) THE REAPER." The four guys ride along the highway, through the hills of Indiana, smiling and nodding to each other. It's the Easy Rider moment. The camera ROTATES AROUND and PULLS OVERHEAD. It's beautiful country and the guys are in heaven. Dudley wears a clunky helmet from the eighties, as well as World War II motorcycle goggles. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 32. A family in a station wagon pulls up to next to them. Two kids press their faces against the windows, looking at the bikers in awe. Bob looks over at the kids in his mirrored sunglasses and gives them a badass nod. The kids are amazed. Bob looks to Doug. Doug grins. They love this. Bob gives a signal to the other guys and guns his engine. The others nod, gun their engines and speed away from the station wagon. The kids watch with their mouths open. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys are cruising along as before, but now we see the sky has gotten very cloudy and overcast. SFX: THUNDER CRACK The guys look up at the sky apprehensively. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - A FEW MINUTES LATER It's now pouring rain. The guys ride along in misery, getting soaked. After a moment, the station wagon from before pulls back up to them. The kids are still pressed against the window, staring at the drenched bikers. Bob looks over and tries to give them another cocky nod - but now it's just embarrassing. END MUSIC CUE EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 - THAT EVENING The sun has gone down, and the guys have found a deserted area off the highway to set up camp. DOUG, WOODY and BOB lounge by a fire - with a tent set up behind them. Doug is roasting marshmallows and Bob is straining to blow up an air mattress. DOUG (TO BOB) Why didn't you just bring a sleeping bag like us? BOB This is more comfortable. (blows a breath into it) I wish Karen would have let me buy the foot pump, though. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 33. Bob continues to inflate the mattress, as Dudley approaches with a knotted plastic grocery bag. DUDLEY This is poop. Don't eat it. Dudley sets the bag aside and has a seat by the fire. DOUG Dudley? You're supposed to bury that. WOODY Yes. Go bury it. DUDLEY It's in a plastic bag. I can't put that in the earth. I'll find a trash bin tomorrow. The guys shake their heads and look back into the fire. After a moment, Doug smiles. DOUG This is really nice, you know? Chilling by the fire with your best friends. Just relaxing, and enjoying-- WOODY (TO DUDLEY) I'm sorry. Dudley, you have to get rid of that bag or I'm going to vomit in your lap. DOUG --each other's company... Dudley grabs the bag and heads off. DUDLEY Fine. I'll just hang it on a tree. WOODY (yells after him) Don't hang it on a tree! DOUG Yup... These are the times we'll remember. After a minute, Doug turns to Woody and Bob. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 34. DOUG (CONT'D) Hey, when was the last time you guys heard me sing Bon Jovi? WOODY Oh, man. Thank God that stopped. BOB It's been awhile. You're not as obnoxious as you used to be. You used to eat a lot more buffalo wings, too. DOUG Yeah, I know. Turns out there's carbs in the batter. Hey, you know what? Maybe carbs are what I need to get old Doug back. WOODY Old Doug? You've lost your Dad? DOUG No. I think I've lost me. It's this thing Kelly said. (BEAT) You know what it is? I think I'm tame. I'm like a lion that used to be wild, but now I'm in some Disney park where tourists come by and take pictures of me like I'm a lion, but after they leave, I go into my kennel and eat antelope nuggets or something. Ones without carbs. BOB I know what you're talking about. I lost old Bob, too. I think my wife and daughters killed him. I'm surrounded by women every minute of my life. And it's made me, you know... DOUG A wimp? BOB What? No. I was going to say miserable. You think I'm a wimp? DOUG No. I just thought that was what you were... I thought you wanted us to guess, and I didn't have a guess, so I said "wimp." Knowing it was wrong... "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 35. WOODY You're a wimp, Bob. I'll say it. You're afraid of girls. It's embarrassing. Dudley comes up and sits back down. DUDLEY I'm afraid of girls. WOODY You're afraid to talk to one. Bob is afraid they'll kill him in his sleep. DUDLEY Wow. Now I really don't want to talk to one. BOB You know, it's not always so bad. Like, when Karen sleeps, she still crawls over and pushes up against me. Just snuggles right up like she needs me. I like that. I like that a lot. (then, sobering) Then the sun comes up and turns her into a raging she-demon. DOUG Yeah, I guess life just isn't as simple as it was when we were in college. Well, except for you, Woody. You're still living the fairy tale. Swimsuit model wife. Big job at an investment firm. You've got the good life. Woody doesn't respond. He just stares vacantly into the fire for a beat. WOODY (FLATLY) Yeah... The good life. I'm a lucky man. DUDLEY My life blows. I don't have a family. Or a wife. I have a cat that doesn't like me. She wouldn't even stick around if she knew how to use a can opener. The guys all look at Dudley. BOB Hey, Dudley. You've got us, buddy. And you're going to get a woman, too. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 36 BOB (CONT'D) I told you we were going to hit some strip clubs when we get back. DUDLEY Nah, I don't like those places-- BOB Dudley-- Please. I'm trying to help you here. DUDLEY I know. I just don't-- BOB Please! Strippers are nice to me! DUDLEY Okay... Sorry. We'll go. BOB Thanks, man. (THEN) I'm just... trying to be a good friend. DOUG We know, Bob. WOODY I'll go, too. DOUG There's a surprise. Doug pulls a flaming marshmallow out of the fire. DOUG (CONT'D) All right, who wants their marshmallow well-done? The guys just look at it. DOUG (CONT'D) Yeah, I left that one on too long. Doug flips the stick and the marshmallow goes flying behind him. The guys don't notice - but we see the marshmallow land on the tent and continue to burn. Bob continues to huff on the air mattress. He stops and looks at it. BOB (out of breath) I think I'm half way there. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 37. WOODY In just one hour. DOUG (TO BOB) You sure you don't want us to spread out a sleeping bag? We have three in the-- Doug turns around and sees a foot-wide flame now burning on the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Shit! The tent-- Doug and the guys jump up and hurry over to the tent. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, get the water jug off my bike! Dudley hurries over to Doug's bike as Doug and Bob try to smother the flame with sand. DOUG (CONT'D) It should be okay. It's fire retardant. The guys try and extinguish the flame as Dudley comes running with a jug. He quickly takes off the cap. Doug notices him. DOUG (CONT'D) Dudley, no! That's It's too late. Dudley is already throwing it on the fire. The liquid hits the tent and it explodes into flames. The guys shield themselves. DOUG (CONT'D) Gas! That's the spare gas tank, Dudley! Dudley doesn't know what to say. The fire quickly disentergrates the tent. Doug, Bob and Woody just watch, knowing there's nothing they can do. After a moment, DUDLEY runs back up with the correct water jug and empties it on what is now a flaming pile of ash. It does nothing. DUDLEY We need more water. DOUG That was all of it, Dudley. That was all the water we had. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 38. DUDLEY Oh. Dudley takes this in for a moment. DUDLEY (CONT'D) Is anybody else thirsty? The guys just look at him. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. ROADSIDE US-50 -- THE NEXT MORNING BOB, DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are all sleeping on Bob's air mattress, like four sardines. Doug opens his eyes to see a large figure standing at the foot of the air mattress. It's a stern-looking highway patrolman. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN You guys all right? DOUG Yeah. Yeah, just on a road trip. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right. Just making sure. (BEAT) Looks pretty comfortable, actually. We see the highway patrolman has started rubbing his thigh. Doug quickly jumps up, waking the others. DOUG Okay, well... Thanks for stopping. Have a nice day, officer. The highway patrolman laughs. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN All right, I get it. (WINKS) Five's a crowd. Doug is mortified. The officer looks them over for a moment. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN (CONT'D) You guys are lucky to have each other. (looks at them hungrily) Damn lucky. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 39. DUDLEY (OBLIVIOUS) That's what I always say. Dudley gets up and puts his arm around Doug. We see he's wearing a saggy pair of briefs and nothing else. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Well... Have a good one. The patrolman walks off. Dudley looks at Doug and grins. DUDLEY Morning. DOUG Please put your pants on. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT AFTERNOON The guys cruise through the rolling prairies of Missouri. It's another beautiful day. They ride in formation, until Woody's bandana doo-rag blows off. Woody goes back to get it. The other guys stop and wait for him to return. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER The guys are still riding - but now the heat of the Missouri plains is taking it's toll. They look boiling, and have sweated through their clothes. Bob takes a drink of water from a bottle of water, then pours the water over his head. He breathes a sigh of relief, until he hears an angry yell behind him. He looks back and sees Woody is now drenched from the water. Bob smiles sheepishly as Woody burns. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER THAT DAY The guys ride through the forested Ozark uplands, looking even hotter than before. Doug spots a waterfall pouring into a crystal clear spring, and points to it. The guys nod in agreement. CUT TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 40. EXT. BLANCHARD SPRINGS, OZARK NATIONAL FOREST - LATER DOUG, WOODY, and DUDLEY wade into the spring water in their boxers. You can see on their faces that it's like dipping into heaven. After a moment, BOB walks up. BOB Thanks for waiting for me, jerks. The guys look up to see that Bob is naked. He smiles and cannonballs into the water. BOB (CONT'D) Whhheew: Yeah! That's c-c-cold: He sees DOUG, WOODY and DUDLEY are just staring at him. BOB (CONT'D) What? WOODY Why are you naked? BOB We're swimming. You guys kept on your skivies? DOUG Skivies? What are you, a Newsie? DUDLEY I kept mine on because I didn't want everyone to see my crank. WOODY (TO BOB) Yeah. That, and being naked with a bunch of guys is gay. What's wrong with you? BOB I don't know. We took showers and stuff together in college. I thought this was kind of... you know, the same. DOUG I guess I get that. (THINKS) I mean, we would have been naked in college. Why are we... Oh, man. It's true. We are tamed. We're old guys. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 41. WOODY No, we're not. Don't say that. Doug wiggles his boxers off and holds them in the air. DOUG I will find old Doug! Doug smiles and throws his shorts on the shore. Dudley smiles, takes off his briefs and holds them up. DUDLEY I will... Do what Doug does! Dudley throws the briefs to shore. They all look at Woody. He rolls his eyes and takes off his boxers. WOODY I will be naked with my gay friends, and if they look at my jock, I will kill them. Woody throws the boxers to shore. The guys all look at each other and smile. It's a nice moment. Until a family approaches. Doug looks at the other guys, wide-eyed, as a family with three young kids walks up with a picnic basket. The young kids run and jump into the water. The Dad of the family laughs and shakes his head. FAMILY DAD Hope you guys don't mind a little company. The mini-van was getting a LITTLE-- The Dad stops talking as he sees into the water... He realizes, then looks at his kids, concerned. DOUG Um... Well, we're just taking a dip. I UH-- WOODY There's a shallower spring up the path. The kids might like that even more... The Mom lays down a blanket and turns to the guys. The Dad is still staring, not sure what to do. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 42. FAMILY MOM (TO WOODY) Oh, no. These little squirts like to DIVE AND-- The Mom sees a glimmer of something through the water, and realizes. She suddenly looks very uncomfortable. FAMILY MOM (CONT'D) (VERY TENSE) Janey, Kyle, Holland. Out of the water. We're going to find a new spot. JANEY No, Mama. This place has little rocks THAT-- FAMILY MOM Get out of the damn water! Now! The kids climb out of the water and the parents hurry off with them down the path. After a moment of awkward silence, Doug looks at the guys. DOUG We should go. BOB You think? They're gone, now. WOODY Yeah, we could stay another few-- VOICE (O.C.) Whhheeeeew! The guys look to the other side of the spring to see the HIGHWAY PATROLMAN cannonball naked into the spring. They stare, horrified, as he pops up and smiles at them. HIGHWAY PATROLMAN Saw you're bikes out there. You guys ever chicken fight? The guys look at each other for a moment, then; DOUG/BOB/WOODY/DUDLEY Ahhhh! / Oh, god! / Run! They frantically sprint out of the water, grab their clothes and hurry away. DISSOLVE TO: "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 43. EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATE THAT AFTERNOON The guys are back on their bikes, cruising along the wheat fields of Kansas. They're looking tired once again, but suddenly Doug smiles... On the horizon, a bar comes into view. Out front are several rows of Harley Davidsons. Doug points it out to the guys and they all smile. It's like an oasis. The pull into the parking lot and climb off their bikes. Bob immediately falls to the ground. BOB Dammit! Leg's asleep. The guys go to help Bob up, as Dudley gets off his bike and falls to the ground. DUDLEY Me, too. DOUG You guys have to shift every once in awhile. Blood has to circulate. A MOMENT LATER. Dudley and Bob are up and wiggling their sleeping limbs, as Woody looks up at the bar. WOODY Now this is the best part of any road trip. Seeing our brothers on wheels. Look at this place. America! The guys look at it and nod. It is a cool looking shack of a bar. Doug admires the row of motorcycles out front. DOUG Look at these bikes. They're all classics. BOB Oh, man. Check it out. A 1951 Panhead. You know how rare this thing is? The guys all crowd around the bike. DOUG Yeah, but why didn't he customize it? You have a 51 panhead and you don't chrome out the exhaust? Or airbrush an eagle on the gas tank? What a waste. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 44. WOODY Probably no good custom stores out here in hick-land. We'll leave 'em a catalog. The guys push open the door and step into the bar. INT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS The bar is full of bikers, but not the kind we saw before. These guys are greasy, tattooed and menacing. We see their jackets say "Hells Angels." The bikers turn and stare at WOODY, DOUG, BOB and DUDLEY. DOUG (TO BIKERS) How's it going? BOB Hells Angels, huh? You guys are legends. I'm surprised we've never seen you in Daytona. The bikers kind of chuckle to themselves. The leader of the gang, JACK, steps forward. He's in his late 40's - and looks like he could break you into bite size pieces. JACK Yeah, how do we keep missing that? The bikers all laugh. Doug and the guys join in, though they don't quite get what's so funny. JACK (CONT'D) So you re "Wild Hogs," huh? That's your gang? DOUG Well, not a gang. Just friends. Friends that ride... you know. JACK So it's like a little hobby for you guys? How sweet. Doug smiles, but is now sensing the hostility. He looks back for the exit. DUDLEY (TO JACK) Yeah, just a little hobby for us. (MORE) "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 45. DUDLEY (CONT'D) We're all successful professionals in real life. But on Tuesday and Sunday afternoons... We're bikers! Dudley spins around and shows them the back of his jacket. JACK Wow. That's great. Can I try that on? DUDLEY Hell yeah, brother. Dudley whips his jacket off and hands it to Jack, who pulls it on his massive frame. He shows it to the gang, who laugh again. Dudley does, too. DUDLEY (CONT'D) So who's '51 panhead is that? Sweet ride. Woody has a catalog so you can make it cool. WOODY No, I don't. Doug does. I think it's great the way it is. Doug glares at Woody incredulously. Woody shrugs. JACK (TO DUDLEY) Well, if you like my '51, we should trade... "brother." DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY (IGNORING DOUG) I wish! I just have a Sportster. It's worth, like, half of yours. JACK A Sportster!? That's what I grew up on. I've been wanting another Sportster. It's a deal! DUDLEY Seriously? You're serious!? DOUG Dudley, maybe you should-- "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 46. DUDLEY Doug, don't worry. Yeah, I'll have a cooler bike than you, but that doesn't mean I'll get all cocky. DOUG DUDLEY-- DUDLEY Hey, I don't care what you say! I ride a panhead now! I'm better than you! JACK Come on, Dud. Let's go see how you look on it. Jack smiles and leads Dudley outside. Doug, Bob and Woody share an uncertain look. WOODY Anybody else got that "pre-rape" feeling? EXT. BIKER BAR - CONTINUOUS Everyone is standing out front. Dudley starts to get on the classic motorcycle. Jack stops him. JACK Oh, no, no. That's Oilcan's ride. My ' 51 panhead is right over there. Jack points to a pile of abandoned rusty motorcycles. Among it is the junked carcass of a '51 panhead next to an old, rusty sidecar. Dudley looks confused. DUDLEY That? That's a piece of junk. JACK Yup. Your piece of junk. Woody, Doug and Bob look at each other. This isn't good. Doug tries to laugh it off. DOUG All right, guys. We get the joke... Good one. Anyway, we actually should get moving along. "Wild Hogs" writers first draft 7/06/05 47. JACK Oh, it's no joke. You want to know the joke? Suburban assholes that buy leather outfits and think they're bikers. And it's a joke I'm damn sick of. So I'm keeping your friend's bike, I'm keeping this jacket, and you guys are going to turn the hell around and go back to wherever you came from, because the next hundred miles of this highway belongs to the Hells Angels. The color drains from the Wild Hog's faces. DUDLEY Like an adopt a highway thing? JACK Like a "Go home or we're going to split your skulls open" thing. Bob makes an audible whimper. Doug elbows him, and tries to look brave. DOUG All right. We respect that this is your turf, and we're sorry for bothering you. But we can't head back without my friend's bike. So clearly we're going to have to work something out here. Jack looks back at the Hells Angels and nods. JACK You're right. We're going to have to work something out. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY U.S. 50 - LATER We see DOUG, BOB and WOODY riding away from the bar,

sang

How many times the word 'sang' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

bare

How many times the word 'bare' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

every

How many times the word 'every' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

soft

How many times the word 'soft' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

fifty

How many times the word 'fifty' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

sort

How many times the word 'sort' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

drum

How many times the word 'drum' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

loud

How many times the word 'loud' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

consider

How many times the word 'consider' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

will

How many times the word 'will' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

doorway

How many times the word 'doorway' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

arizona

How many times the word 'arizona' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

sometimes

How many times the word 'sometimes' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

any

How many times the word 'any' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

city

How many times the word 'city' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

accident

How many times the word 'accident' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

bend

How many times the word 'bend' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

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How many times the word 'okay' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

having

How many times the word 'having' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

blue

How many times the word 'blue' appears in the text?

84 INT. TURF CLUB AT RACETRACK - CLOSEUP OF TILLEY - DAY 84 watching a race. (CONTINUED) 78. 84 CONTINUED: 84 TILLEY (very excited and animated) We're taking a thirty-to-one shot... number eight... come on number eight... 'Streamers...' come on, you sucker! CUT TO: 85 EXT. RACETRACK - DAY 85 We see horse number eight in the lead, coming around the home stretch. CUT TO: 86 EXT. GRANDSTANDS - DAY 86 Moe and BB are watching the race. CUT TO: 87 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON TILLEY, SAM AND WING - DAY 87 Tilley is still yelling for his horse, Sam and Wing watch quietly. TILLEY Thirty-to-one... a hundred bucks on you, number eight. There's a guy up here who put a hundred on ya. Come on... come on... come on, baby... come on, baby! 88 EXT. RACETRACK - FINISH LINE - DAY 88 Another horse -- number 14 -- races past the winning post. CUT TO: 89 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM, TILLEY AND WING - DAY 89 TILLEY Nooooooo! (CONTINUED) 79. 89 CONTINUED: 89 Wing smiles. WING (quietly) I've got myself a winner. Tilley turns to look at Wing. Sam turns towards Tilley looking concerned. We see the totals flashed on the board indicating that the winning horse pays $16.30. CUT TO: 90 EXT. GRANDSTAND - ANGLE ON MOE AND BB - DAY 90 BB (smiling) Way to go... Southern Belle. Moe tears up his ticket. BB Should have bet with me, Moe. CUT TO: 91 INT. TURF CLUB - ANGLE ON WING, SAM AND TILLEY - DAY 91 WING (smiles) Very nice! TILLEY That was your horse, Wing? WING Yeah... Southern Belle. You oughta know, you bet her for me. TILLEY Of course. Wing goes to look at form. WING (to Tilley) I'm gonna go with the favorite in this one -- Fordnee Lane. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 80. 91 CONTINUED: 91 WING (CONT'D) I tell you what, I won sixteen plus on the other race, from those winnings you can bet me eight hundred. TILLEY Eight hundred? WING Yeah... I wanna bet eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. TILLEY (feeling uncom- fortable) Fordnee lane -- eight hundred. Sam is looking at Tilley knowing that he's really in a jam. TILLEY Eight hundred. WING (calling to Waiter) Waiter, can you get me a cup of coffee? Tilley looks over to Sam, with panic on his face. Wing turns back to Tilley and Sam. WING You guys want anything else? TILLEY (nods "no") Er... hum... er... hey, Wing... I tell you, I got a problem. WING What is it? TILLEY It's the eight hundred on Fordnee Lane. I haven't got it. WING No, you got it wrong. You take it from the sixteen plus I won... the eight hundred. (CONTINUED) 81. 91 CONTINUED: (2) 91 TILLEY I haven't got the winnings. WING (angry) What do ya mean, you don't have my winnings? TILLEY Wing, it was the craziest thing... I didn't want to mention it earlier because it was so nuts... it was the craziest thing. WING What? TILLEY I don't know how to even tell you this without being embarrassed for myself. It was an accident... it's like one of those things out of the blue... it's crazy... you can't explain it... it happens. WING (to Sam) Sam, what is he talking about? SAM (quietly) He had an accident of some sort. TILLEY It happens... I don't know how... I don't know how to explain. It's too crazy, I swear to God, Wing. WING Wait a minute... you're telling me that I didn't win the last race? TILLEY You won, Wing... you won, it's just that you're not getting any money... it was a fluke. I swear, I don't know how it could have happened. A ten-year-old couldn't have made the mistake I made... I don't know, I swear. (CONTINUED) 82. 91 CONTINUED: (3) 91 WING (to Sam) What the fuck is he talking about? TILLEY If there was some way I could make it up, believe me, I would, because you know where I stand. There's a beat while Wing just looks at Tilley. TILLEY You know where I stand, Wing. If there was any way, believe me, I'd make it up. I'd give you thirty percent of what you didn't get because it was a fluke... I'm willing to make some kind of retribution. WING You just pocketed the God damned money... you just took my money and slipped it into your God damned pocket, didn't you? TILLEY No. I'd split fifty-fifty with you, that's how badly I feel under the circumstances. WING You get this straight, you son of a bitch, you owe me sixteen plus... I want sixteen plus. TILLEY Am I trying to shirk my responsibility? That's not the way I see it... it was a fluke, a crazy thing that happened, but I stand behind my honor on this... put it on my tab. WING (to Sam) What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with him? He's stealing money from me... what the hell is wrong with him? Can you tell me? (CONTINUED) 83. 91 CONTINUED: (4) 91 SAM I don't know the whole story. WING You work with him, Sam... for Christ sake... Wing is totally frustrated. TILLEY What do you mean, wrong? It was a fluke... it was an accident. I don't know what the hell went wrong. It was a one-in-a-million thing that happened to me when I went to place that bet. I'm trying to do what I can. WING (shaking his head) Tilley, what the hell happened to you? CUT TO: 92 EXT. RACETRACK - LATE AFTERNOON 92 Tilley and Sam are leaving the racetrack and walking to Tilley's Cadillac. SAM Why didn't you at least give him the six hundred that you pocketed from the six races he lost? TILLEY Fuck him! It's on my tab. At least I've got six hundred in my pocket right now. It's like another loan. Sam, you got to think about today. Today, I got six hundred bucks in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? SAM Yeah. (CONTINUED) 84. 92 CONTINUED: 92 TILLEY It's like some guy trying to sell me life insurance. You think I'm gonna take some money out of my pocket to give to some jerk so that somebody can take it when I'm dead? No, Sam, you gotta live for today. I'm gonna live as good as I can every day. You know what I'm saying? As Sam and Tilley walk towards Tilley's Cadillac, BB and Moe are walking to BB's Cadillac parked close to Tilley's car. They see each other. TILLEY (yelling to BB) Hey, Mr. Marengay went to the track! BB Did you bother to bet, or did you just hand your money to the tellers? TILLEY (laughing) The sarcasm's killing me. (beat) I thought you were looking to get even. BB Who's your accountant, mister, 'cos I think you're down in the debit side. TILLEY Who's stuck with my wife. You or me? He laughs. BB You want me to believe that you were setting me up with your wife as some kind of decoy? TILLEY Decoy is the word! There's a long beat as the two guys eye one another. Then, almost in a soft apologetic manner, BB speaks. (CONTINUED) 85. 92 CONTINUED: (2) 92 BB Okay then, you win. BB gets into his car. TILLEY I win? (to Sam) That guy would never let me win. He must be setting me up. The son of a bitch is setting me up, Sam. SAM For crying out loud, why don't you just leave it at that... you win. TILLEY I couldn't have won. (beat) I smell a rat. BB's car pulls away. Tilley and Sam watch him go. CUT TO: 93 INT. BB'S CADILLAC - DAY 93 BB's driving and Moe is in the passenger seat. MOE BB, I think you're getting a little humility in your blood. BB If getting Nora is part of losing, Thank God I didn't win. CUT TO: 94 EXT. OLD TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - DAY 94 A temporary sign is posted on the door and a painter is filling in the name -- "HOME IMPROVEMENT COMMISSION." CUT TO: 86. 95 INT. TOBACCO WAREHOUSE - OFFICE - DAY 95 This is the office of the Home Improvement Commission. Desks, chairs and filing cabinets are all over the place (not yet organized) and boxes and cartons are stacked against a wall. ANGLE ON John Masters walking with a file under his arm. He walks across the half-empty warehouse where workers are renovating the space. He approaches a table where Stanley is seated with his feet up, nursing a hot cup of coffee. Masters throws a file down on the table. MASTERS This is good, Stan... nice work. Stanley nods. MASTERS Fossey says it should go down very well with the city council. Could help us appropriate more funds. This goes a long way to establish our credibility in what we're trying to do. We hear a LOUD, SAWING noise and HAMMERING echoing through the warehouse throughout this scene. STANLEY There's a lot more where this came from. MASTERS You know what I think you should do now. Why don't you pull some files... some files that were completed, others that went unsold, and I'll have somebody run it down, talk to the customers and get some statements. STANLEY Pulling files is another thing. That might not be easy. MASTERS To sneak a few here and there when you can. STANLEY I'll see. MASTERS I think that might be good. CUT TO: 87. 96 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 96 BB's Cadillac is parked in front of a house. MOE (O.S.) What do you think if we made this one of our factory showcase houses? MAN (O.S.) What's that? BB (O.S.) It's a good location... get a lot of traffic on this street. CUT TO: 97 INT. HOUSE - NIGHT 97 BB and Moe are selling to MR. and MRS. SHUBNER, a young couple. The TELEVISION is ON in the background. SHUBNER (MAN) What does that mean, Mr. Gable? MOE You know what I do, Alan? I pick certain houses that are strategically located, we put up the aluminum siding, and for every referral, for every person who sees this quality job that we do... sees how beautiful it is... I give you two hundred dollars. SHUBNER Two hundred dollars? MOE That's right. God knows how many homes we could sell by people passing this house. It's perfectly placed for that. (taking out his wallet) Alan, this is how confident I feel that this house will drum up business for me. He peels off four hundred dollars and hands the money to Shubner. (CONTINUED) 88. 97 CONTINUED: 97 MOE Four hundred dollars... I'm giving you commission on two house referrals before I put a panel on the side of your house... that's how confident I feel. SHUBNER You think that many people are going to... MOE (interrupting Shubner) I'm certain of it. I'm not giving away four hundred dollars for my health... I'm a businessman, and I'm a good businessman. This is good business for me. I'm giving it away 'cos I believe in this house, believe that it will refer me to other jobs which means money in my pocket, which means money in your pocket. SHUBNER You got a deal, Mr. Gable. BB smiles. Suddenly Moe winces in pain. SHUBNER Something wrong, sir? Moe collapses to the floor. CUT TO: 98 INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR 98 Moe is being wheeled on a gurney by a couple of nursing attendants. BB walks alongside. BB I finally got hold of May... she was over your sister's. MOE (breathing heavily) Oh, I forgot. BB She'll be down here shortly. (CONTINUED) 89. 98 CONTINUED: 98 MOE BB, I don't have any insurance. If I die, May's got nothing... nothing... nothing for Leonard. The only money I've got is in my pocket. That's all I got. BB Just take it easy, Moe... rest. MOE Did they sign? Did they sign? BB Don't worry about it now. MOE Goddamn it, BB! Did you sign them? BB Don't worry... don't worry. I'll take care of it tomorrow. MOE Goddamn, my chest hurts. (beat) I always taught you, BB, never walk out of a place without a signed contract. Somebody's word ain't spit. BB They'll sign, Moe. Don't worry, they'll sign. They round the bend of the corridor. CUT TO: 99 INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY 99 BB is on a public phone to Nora. We never see Nora, we just hear her voice. BB This is kind of new to me, but I thought I better call and tell you I'm gonna be late... maybe two or three. I never had anyone there to call before, but I thought I should call, you know. (CONTINUED) 90. 99 CONTINUED: 99 NORA (V.O.) Why? Do you think you have some obligation? BB I dunno... I thought I'd better call, that's all. NORA (V.O.) Well, I'm glad you did. BB I don't know what's gonna happen to Moe. NORA (V.O.) Well, I hope he's okay. (beat) I'll see you when you get in. She gives BB a kiss on the phone. BB (looks at the receiver) Yeah. He hangs up the phone and walks to a room opposite. He opens the door and stands in the doorway looking at Moe who is lying beneath an oxygen tent. CUT TO: 100 INT. DINER - DAY 100 Tilley, Sam, Mouse and Gil are sitting in a booth having just finished breakfast. SAM Let me see what the damage is. (he reaches for the bill, hums as he reads) Babum... babum... babum... babum... He hands the bill to Mouse. SAM Mouse, figure it out, will ya? GIL Why don't we just split it five ways? (CONTINUED) 91. 100 CONTINUED: 100 TILLEY No way! I didn't eat anything, so why should I pay for Mouse... he eats like an animal. SAM Well, sometimes you'll eat more than he does, and it'll even out. TILLEY No way! He's a pig! He always eats more than anyone else. Why should I pay for his food? MOUSE What're you talking about? Today I happened to have eggs and flapjacks, some cantalope, some juice and then another juice. TILLEY Like an animal! Like an animal! MOUSE But yesterday, what did I have? TILLEY What did he have? (turning to Sam) Sam, what did he have? SAM Let me get out my notebook. How the fuck do I know what he had? TILLEY Well I don't remember what he had. Gil, what did he have? GIL Pancakes? MOUSE No. Through the diner window we see Nora's car pull up and park outside the diner. TILLEY (to Mouse) Then what did you have? MOUSE Guess. (CONTINUED) 92. 100 CONTINUED: (2) 100 TILLEY What is this, a quiz show? We don't know what you had. What did you have? MOUSE I had very little. TILLEY Very little!! You eat like an animal! It couldn't have been very little. MOUSE I didn't have that much... doesn't anybody remember? SAM We don't remember, I don't know why. GLI I could have sworn he had pancakes. TILLEY He said he didn't have pancakes. MOUSE I'll give you a clue... maple syrup was used. TILLEY I don't give a shit. SAM French toast. There's a KNOCK at the window of the diner. TILLEY French toast? He had more than French toast. MOUSE Yes, but not a lot more. We hear further RAPPING on the window. TILLEY I don't give a damn... it's split five ways. (CONTINUED) 93. 100 CONTINUED: (3) 100 GIL (to Tilley) Your wife's knocking on the window here. Tilley looks to the window, acknowledges Nora and points to the far end of the diner, she nods and starts walking across the front of the diner to the door. 101 INT. DINER - DAY 101 Nora and Tilley are sitting alone at a table drinking coffee. TILLEY Was not long ago you never would have seen a woman in here. NORA You don't have to tell me. How many nights did you drop me off and come up here all the time? TILLEY I know. I was just trying to be congenial... you know, start a conversation off, on a nice kind of light level, you know. So, what's the scoop, Nora? NORA Well you know, I think we really should get divorced. TILLEY Makes sense. You want some more coffee? NORA Yeah, I'll have some. TILLEY (shouting to waitress) Florence, some coffee here. (to Nora) It's for the best. (beat) You know, we were kind of fooling ourselves, weren't we? (CONTINUED) 94. 101 CONTINUED: 101 NORA Yes, it went wrong somewhere along the line -- I don't know where though. TILLEY Yes, something went wrong... I don't know. Florence walks over and pours coffee for Tilley and Nora, then walks away. TILLEY So you like this guy? NORA Yeah, I like him. TILLEY All in all I guess it'll all work out for the best. NORA I'm glad you feel that way. TILLEY Yeah, can you figure it out? A guy bangs into my car, thinks I did him in, tries to get even with me by stealing my wife, you two people fall in love... can you figure that out? NORA What? TILLEY You telling me you didn't know this was the guy? NORA This was that guy? TILLEY Yeah, I told you I ran into another tin man. NORA He didn't tell me he was a tin man... he told me he sold baby pictures. (CONTINUED) 95. 101 CONTINUED: (2) 101 TILLEY It's your life. All I know is this guy has a bent weather vane. NORA Oh, God! Not another tin man. CUT TO: 102 INT. SUPERIOR ALUMINUM SIDING COMPANY OFFICE - DAY 102 We see and hear the Girls working the telephones, as before. GIRL #1 Good afternoon, this is Superior Aluminum Siding. We're going to have... GIRL #2 ... a salesman in your area today... BB is sitting in a chair across from Looney. LOONEY Beeb, why don't you let Stanley work with you. I'm off to Florida at the end of the week for some sun and fun. Let Stanley work with you, and when I get back, we'll see how Moe's doing. BB I don't know. To be honest with you, I think I'd rather work alone ... he's too green. Is he a pain in the ass? LOONEY No. He don't talk much; he's a good listener, so he can't really get on your nerves. He's a lousy pool player and he can't play cards for shit, but... BB (interrupting) So what good is he? (CONTINUED) 96. 102 CONTINUED: 102 LOONEY Studious type... takes a lot of notes. BB (smiles) If this is a sales pitch, I think you got to work a little harder 'cos I don't think you've got good product. CUT TO: 103 EXT. INDUSTRIAL WAREHOUSE - ANGLE ON BB - DAY 103 As he comes out of the Superior Aluminum building and walks towards his car. We see Nora driving her Chevy in front of BB's car. She drives her car forward, and then reverses it hard into BB's Cadillac. He runs over to the driver's side of Nora's Chevy. BB What are you, crazy?! Nora drives the car forward and then backwards again almost running BB down. She rolls down the window (auto- matically) so that she can yell. NORA You're a goddamn tin man! Then she backs the car up. BB tries to go around the front of the car. BB Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nora starts to move the car towards him. He moves away, and her car smashes into the side of his car. She presses the button to the window and rolls it down just a shade. NORA You wanted to win me just to get even with my husband... screw you! She rolls up the window, floors the car, and drives away. (CONTINUED) 97. 103 CONTINUED: 103 ANGLE ON LOONEY as he walks out of the building. He sees BB's car all smashed up. LOONEY (to BB) I think you ought to get rid of this car... it's bad luck. Nora's CAR SCREECHES around the corner. LOONEY Is that the guy again? BB No, it's his wife. LOONEY There's some kind of sickness that runs in that family. CUT TO: 104 INT. POOL HALL - TIGHT SHOT OF MOUSE - DAY 104 He's singing "The Banana Boat Song." MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day... daylight come and he wanna go home...' ANGLE ON TILLEY AND GIL at a table playing pool. Mouse is standing next to his trusted JUKEBOX, belting out his favorite Harry Belafonte song. In b.g.: TILLEY (to Gil) Why can't they get rid of that fucking record? It's not a hit anymore... nobody cares about this song anymore... it's history. Mouse continue singing in the background. MOUSE 'Day-O! da,da,da,da,day...' GIL We can always smash the juke box, or break in and steal the record. (CONTINUED) 98. 104 CONTINUED: 104 TILLEY (lining up a shot) He's getting on my nerves. The guy eats like an animal, and sings like an asshole. GIL Maybe it's me, but I'm beginning to like it. Tilley hits the ball and sinks the shot. TILLEY (happily) Yes, sir... yes, sir! ANGLE ON SAM He comes out of the back room into the pool hall, and walks over to the table where Tilley and Gil are playing pool. He drops an open envelope onto the pool table. SAM (to Tilley) Take a look at this crap. TILLEY IRS? They're not gonna leave me alone! SAM Home Improvement Commission. With those words there's a genuine moment of concern from all of the tin men -- even Mouse stops singing. Tilley picks up the envelope and pulls out the letter. TILLEY We've got to appear? SAM I think that's the gist of what they're saying. Gil looks over Tilley's shoulder at the letter. Mouse comes over. MOUSE Holy Christ! TILLEY Can't we just ignore it? How do they know we got the letter. (CONTINUED) 99. 104 CONTINUED: (2) 104 SAM It's certified. TILLEY What do you think, Sam? SAM I dunno... I don't know what they've got. TILLEY Why is this happening? Am I paranoid or something? I mean, why is this happening? The government is after me... the state is after me... Mr. Marengay ... somebody is always after me. What the hell's going on here? I'm just this guy. What's the big deal? They can't get along without me? The government can't operate unless they've got Tilley's money... the Commission's after my job! This shit's driving me insane! All the lying, thieving, stealing corporations in this world, and the IRS takes the time to come for me? There's billions of dollars out there but they've got to come and get Tilley's four thousand dollars! (turning to Mouse) Turn off the fucking Belafonte song now, or I'm gonna break the goddamn machine!! CUT TO: 105 INT. CORRAL CLUB - NIGHT 105 BB is sitting at the bar, getting drunk. Stanley sits next to him. A girl approaches (RUTHIE). RUTHIE Come on, Beeb, let's dance. BB Not tonight, Ruthie, my dancing shoes are on holiday. RUTHIE You sure? (CONTINUED) 100. 105 CONTINUED: 105 BB I'm more than sure. Ruthie moves off. BB takes a shot of whiskey and downs it, and then drinks some beer. STANLEY Who was the best you ever saw? BB Best I ever saw? Best tin man I ever saw? He holds up his shot glass towards the bartender, and the bartender fills it up. BB Harry Apel... Dandy Flynn... those guys had good lines, but they burned themselves out too fast. Best? Moe's the best... the best there ever was. If he's in the door, he's got a sale. The best closer ever. STANLEY What's some of the hustles he used to pull? BB downs another shot glass of whisky. BB God damn Nora... God damn Nora! I'm trying to adjust... I'm putting up with things I never put up with in my life. I mean, give me a break... give me a break, woman. Stanely wants to get back to the topic of best tin man. STANLEY (making light) So, what are a couple of things you and Moe have done? BB (still on the subject of Nora) It was getting to be real pleasant ... figure that. (long beat) More than pleasant. To hell with her! (CONTINUED) 101. 105 CONTINUED: (2) 105 STANLEY How come Moe's so good? Why do you think, huh? BB Great man, Moe. Great man. BB holds out his glass again to the bartender who refills it. BB downs the shot and drinks more beer. BB I don't know why they're so irrational... chicks. I dunno. I think it's because air gets inside 'em. (beat) She probably went back home, to her husband. (looks at his watch) Eleven-thirty... he wouldn't be home yet. (takes out a $10 bill from his wallet) This outght to cover it, Stanley. He puts the $10 bill down on the bar and walks out of the club. CUT TO: 106 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 106 Sam's Cadillac moving along a row of houses. CUT TO: 107 INT. CADILLAC - NIGHT 107 Sam is driving the car, Tilley is in the passenger seat, very drunk. TILLEY They got no right. You know what I'm saying, Sam? They've got no right. Tilley takes a drink from a pint of whisky he has open. (CONTINUED) 102. 107 CONTINUED: 107 SAM They've got nothing concrete against us, because if it's just hearsay stuff, it's neither here nor there. TILLEY (looking around) Where's my car? What happened to my car? SAM It's better I drop you off. TILLEY Yeah, it's better. CUT TO: 108 INT. TILLEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT 108 Tilley is in the bathroom washing his face in the sink, trying to sober up. He lifts his head out of the water and bangs it on the faucet. He grabs his head in pain and then slides down the tiled wall to the floor. CUT TO: 109 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 109 BB's Cadillac pulls up in front of Tilley's house. We see BB looking up and down the street, with his head out of the car window. He's very drunk. BB He ain't here. He gets out of the car and looks around the street some more. He stumbles up to a couple of parked cars, look- ing for Nora's car. He falls into some trash cans in front of the house. CUT TO: 110 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - BATHROOM - NIGHT 110 Tilley is lying on the floor. His eyes open at the sound of the TRASH CANS FALLING. He struggles to his feet and walks through the bedroom. We hear the sound of MORE TRASH CANS RATTLING. (CONTINUED) 103. 110 CONTINUED: 110 Tilley goes to the bedroom window and looks out. He sees BB struggling to his feet, surrounded by trash cans and garbage. TILLEY I knew I could smell a rat! The son of a bitch is coming for me... the son of a bitch never wants to leave me alone! Tilley walks over to the night table, opens the drawer and pulls out a revolver. CUT TO: 111 EXT. STREET - NIGHT 111 BB making his way up the front stairs to Tilley's house. CUT TO: 112 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 112 Tilley makes his way down the stairs, and creeps to the front door. TILLEY (quietly) You want to rob my God damn house? I'm gonna make it easy for you. (unlocks the door and leaves it ajar) Come and rob Tilley... come on... take everything he's got. CUT TO: 113 EXT. FRONT DOOR OF TILLEY'S HOUSE - NIGHT 113 BB knocks on the door. The door swings open. He waits a moment, unsure as to what to do. CUT TO: 11436 INT. TILLEY'S HOUSE - OTHER SIDE OF FRONT DOOR 114 Tilley stands behind the door with the gun, waiting. BB steps inside the house. (CONTINUED) 104. 114 CONTINUED: 114 BB Hel... Before he can finish the word "Hello," Tilley hits him hard in the head with the butt of the gun. BB falls to the ground unconscious. CUT TO: 115 INT. TILLY'S HOUSE 115 BLACK SCREEN. Then a light goes on, and we see the in- side of a refrigerator. PULL BACK to reveal Tilley at the refrigerator in the kitchen of his home. He is putting eggs and rotten tomatoes from the refrigerator into a bowl. He looks at a piece of celery, but it's so wilted and has no strength for his purpose that he throws it down. He picks up other vegetables, but settles for the eggs and tomatoes. He closes the re- frigerator door and makes his way to the living room. We see BB lying on the floor, unconscious. Tilley sits down across from him with the bowl in his lap... he watches BB. BB starts to come to. TILLEY (to BB) You're a sick man! You smash my car, you steal my wife, and now you come to rob me! You're one demented human being. BB tries to focus on Tilley. TILLEY I'm going to call the police and send you to jail... but I'm going to humiliate you first. Tilley throws an egg at BB and hits him in the head. BB is groggy and confused and still drunk. BB What're you doing? TILLEY What do ya want to break into my house for? This ain't the fucking Rockefeller mansion! There ain't thirty-eight television sets here. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 105. 115 CONTINUED: 115 TILLEY (CONT'D) They ain't saying 'Nelson, I think we've had a break-in... count the sets to see how many we've got left.' There ain't tons of

instructed

How many times the word 'instructed' appears in the text?