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seeker: This is going to be rough haha
seeker: Any tips for writing the personal statement?
supporter: Alright well what is the problem with grad school application.
seeker: Motivation to get started, and just staying on track with completing them
supporter: What is your major?
seeker: I'm apply to public health programs
seeker: Have you applied to grad schools before? Would love some tips!
seeker: You're not very responsive.
| Affirmation and Reassurance |
seeker: Anxiety is at all time highs due to this.
supporter: Is there a reason for your fear?
seeker: My firm has already cut 10%. I feel like I might be going next.
supporter: it's important right now to take one step at a time, you should always prepare and find a backup plan in case it happens, but at the same time not worry too much because it won't help
seeker: I can't stop worrying. If I lose my job, I don't know where to go, what to do.
supporter: You should look around and see if anyone hiring
supporter: I would say go for part time jobs too in case there is nothing available in your industry
seeker: With lock downs in my area, small businesses will go under. Which means fewer jobs. I'm really scared.
| Information |
supporter: hello
seeker: hi
supporter: can you talk about your feelings at this time
seeker: Currently I am worried to show up to work. We had a staff appreciation Thursday and we all got super drunk in front of our boss, and I am honestly scared he will judge me or fire me.
supporter: that's really hard, have you spoken to any of your coworkers
seeker: Yes, we are all laughing at the matter, but you can tell our boss is looking at us different. We all showed up to work Friday hungover, and he just made lots of comments and jokes to play the part, but you can tell he is looking at me and everyone different. I do not know how to redeem myself.
supporter: I would recommend speaking with him privately about the issue one on one
seeker: That sounds a lot easier said than done. I was the one who was the most drunk. But I do now know if he knows how drunk we all got since he left after one of us got hit in the face with a golf club and had to take her to the ER. So what if I say too much and apologize for what he does not know.
| Providing Suggestions |
supporter: watch the brene brown video on youtube with the cartoon animal about empathy - it should help when looking for friends to rely upon
supporter: grrrr. that would make me angry too
seeker: It is nice to have things to distract myself from the things that are making me feel terrible. Do you have any other suggestions for distractions?
seeker: I just keep thinking that every evening when he was returning home with me and with every nice thing he said he was being false.
supporter: i'm totally into the podcasts "a slob comes clean" basically it's about getting your poop in a group
seeker: Hmm that sounds .. interesting :D. Is that a metaphor?
supporter: that's so hard. imagine how much energy he had to use to keep his lives from colliding. he couldn't find a better use for that energy?!
seeker: I know, right!! Do you think it would be helpful for me to try and talk to this woman and see how she feels? I dunno if she even realises that he was in a committed relationship
| Self-disclosure |
supporter: Before you go on, try taking a few deep breaths. Why not try meditating a few days before?
seeker: I could do I suppose. I won't be the only one presenting that day so I feel like I won't be able to measure up against the other people on stage.
supporter: Try shifting the focus on what could go wrong, to what could go right? Focus on others congratulating you on a job well done.
seeker: Yeah I do have a tendency to be negative sometimes and make a big deal out of things. I should actually focus on the good things. Has this technique helped you in the past?
supporter: Yes, in the term "fake it until you make it." I keep on thinking of what could go right, or in my favor, and when I am done, it actually went okay, and any "fears" i had, never came to fruition.
seeker: I think that is really good advice. I think I have just suffered from a bad experience in the past and this has shaped my way of thinking to always be fearful. I'm fine in meetings or virtually but something about a stage just scares me.
supporter: That's understandable. But now that you're aware, you have the steps the move forward and be successful.
seeker: yes I don't want it to hold me back personally or professionally any more
| Affirmation and Reassurance |
seeker: Hmmm Idealist would be another great source
seeker: I used Glass Door and Indeed
seeker: Any other ideas?
supporter: How about Craigslist? Not my favorite personally speaking, but might be worth taking a look.
seeker: I will look into that as well
seeker: Thank you for your help
seeker: I am starting to feel somewhat better about my situation now
seeker: Thank you
| Affirmation and Reassurance |
supporter: It seems as if you may have some doubt and may feel unwanted and because of this you feel sad.
supporter: Does this sound correct?
seeker: Yeah , i am in sad mood
seeker: Can you help me
supporter: Yes.
seeker: .good family and good friends too.
seeker: But still i miss something
supporter: I have been were you are right now and i know you may be hurting at the moment.
| Question |
supporter: i am happy to hear this dear.
seeker: thanks for the chat
supporter: welcome dear.
seeker: take care
supporter: you too dear.
seeker: is that a good bye
supporter: yeah . do you want to talk about something else?
seeker: nothing else for now
| Others |
supporter: Yoga is an amazing stress reliever. I practice myself! I like your game plan and I think you'll start feeling the results sooner than you think.
seeker: I think I’m going to lay low on dating for a while.
supporter: I completely understand. You'll know when you're ready again and it's great to take things at your own pace. All that matters is to do things when you're ready to.
seeker: How long do you think I should take a break for?
supporter: Honestly, that will end up being up to you. With my last big breakup, I didn't date for almost a year until I met someone. I would suggest at least a month or so to take some time for yourself and focus on yourself and what makes you happy so when you are ready to date again, you have a stronger sense of self.
seeker: Thanks. That is great advice. I wouldn’t want to go into something just for the sake of dating.
supporter: Agreed. Taking the breather definitely helps.
seeker: Sounds good. I will take your advice.
| Affirmation and Reassurance |
seeker: I'm doing well right now
supporter: that's great you're doing well 'right now' but what happened prior that you weren't all right?
seeker: I just took my last exam and I feel that I will fail and have to retake it
supporter: Oh I'm sorry. I'm sure you did fine. We all feel that way after exams!
seeker: true!
supporter: have you felt this way with prior exams? if so, did you really fail or did you do okay?
seeker: No, this was the first time I really did not study for this exam
seeker: Because I had 5 class this semester
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
seeker: Ahhh... I hate to be that guy, but I really don't have that many friends. I have a couple people at my church who have checked in, but I wouldn't go so far as to call them friends (we don't hang out, I don't get invited over...)
seeker: I was in college. He died slowly and painfully. It was really unpleasant.
seeker: And he was a brilliant man. I could only wish to be half of what he was.
supporter: That can cause loneliness as well. What about seeing if your family will chat and let them know you ae ok
seeker: I don't even have contact information for them anymore. The last known phone numbers have been disconnected and the last time I sent mail, it was returned for wrong address, no forwarding information known.
seeker: I think they forgot about me.
supporter: Comparing yourself to others can be a positive and give you reason to strive more
seeker: The only one I still have contact with is my mother.
| Question |
seeker: I do mturk to help. It's not a lot but it can buy a loaf of bread which is nice.
seeker: Yes being an adult is difficult, but life is hard in general.
supporter: Have you tried using scripts like hit forker and jr panda crazy? They are basically extensions that help to pick up the higher paying hits for you. I use it myself and it's very helpful!
supporter: There are lots of Youtube videos that show you how to use them.
seeker: I've never heard of it and I don't know what that is.
seeker: Thank you I will look into it.
seeker: I do surveys on swagbucks and that earns gift cards.
seeker: its not a lot, but still anything helps.
| Providing Suggestions |
seeker: 2 sticks ofbutter
supporter: Did you need any other insights from me to be glad?
supporter: I feel that being a professional baker my be the right career for you!
seeker: I am full, and I am good
seeker: thanks it was great to talk to you Bob, Xmas couselor
supporter: Do you need help with anything else?
seeker: I will think about it
seeker: im good, have a good evening
| Reflection of feelings |
supporter: i live in a rural area with lots of forests :P
seeker: I've thought about growing my own but can't do that in the dorms....too risky.
supporter: Hmph I am not a very good counsellor am I? I should be telling you to stay in and work. But hey, life is short and beer is good.
seeker: You gave some good advice . Nothing wrong with a little side chat to prove we are human.
supporter: Of course :). Hmm it's been many years since I was in Uni. Too many.
seeker: Probably not too much has changed besides the cost. But that's a whole different story about anxiety. Luckily I am going for engineering and have a half of a chance to get a job once I graduate next year.
supporter: Ah it's a good field to be in. Do you suffer from anxiety generally or is it just over this paper?
seeker: Generally but it flairs up more around due dates naturally.
| Question |
supporter: Thus my stress went up as a result and wearing a mask didn't help the problem
seeker: Honestly I wear a mask 8 hours a day and its not a big deal
supporter: Hmm I guess we all deal with the precautionary measure differently. Has your daily routine changed at all in the past month?
seeker: Not much has changed
supporter: are you able to identify any change whatsoever? I ask since any imbalance our body and mind experience is sometimes enough to see a poor reaction, that may lead to things such as migraines
seeker: Yes its been surprising, I have talked to my doctor and he suggested I try to document my triggers so I will try to do that
seeker: Anyway I have to get going, You have been very helpful. Have a wonderful day!
supporter: Glad to know my advice is worth something, afterall I am not a doctor
| Others |
supporter: Sounds like you have a very packed life. Maybe you need more time to yourself to relax?
seeker: Maybe just not sure how to get to that point
supporter: Is there anyone in your home that you can discuss this with? Spouse?
seeker: LOL...you are funny my husband is self employeed I do all his paperwork, and he is not the empathetic kind...
supporter: I hear you on that one too :(. I think you are being put under unnecessary stress
seeker: I think you are right and I am sure I put a lot on that myself by trying to do everything right
supporter: What are the chances of you doing something just for y ourself soon? A spa day maybe?
seeker: I think I will do that ..it as good to talk to you....thanks for letting me vent
| Question |
supporter: Why haven't you said anything to them?
seeker: I hate confrontation.
supporter: I understand, confrontation can be quite stressful.
seeker: exactly, do you think I should just stop saying yes to them.
supporter: There may not be an alternative unfortunately. In order to avoid involuntary and messy conflict later you may need to have planned/structured conflict now.
seeker: That was what I was thinking also. i will try to not be available.
supporter: I think it may be important to make sure you have an end goal in mind in order to have a chance to resolve the conflict in peace.
seeker: My end goal is to be respected. Perhaps I really need to have a conversation and see how that goes first,
| Reflection of feelings |
supporter: oh no that's really not good
seeker: no I mean she really has issues she gets drunk and mean , falls of chairs in bars and that at least 3-4 times a week, her husband does not say a word since she iis in my oppinion verbally abusive to him
supporter: ok ok I could understand now
seeker: so what do you think i should do
seeker: u still there?
supporter: What you have did so far is absolutely correct You worry for your friend is also correct, I think you need to be with your friend in this situation whatever she says about you
supporter: yeah I am here
seeker: she does not talk to me anymore blocked me on social media, and goes around and says I am just trying to cause trouble for her
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
supporter: What is it about work that gets you going?
seeker: My job is fast paced I work for a call center working from home
supporter: You spend a lot of your day talking and interacting with people. Do you enjoy the work?
seeker: I'm always taking one call after the other and barely got time to think about my problems I'm dealing with
seeker: I enjoy my job
supporter: The work distracts you from your problems but it does not give you time to address them.
seeker: I feel like I get to help alot of people
seeker: it distracts me from my problems exactly
| Affirmation and Reassurance |
seeker: I'm just feeling sad and depressed over the breakup that I described above. Hoping for some inspiration.
supporter: Tell me more please I am all ears
seeker: I feel so betrayed. I was completely caught off guard. Now I don't know what to do with myself.
supporter: When did this happen, How long ago
seeker: Just this last week. I came home from work early Thursday. I guess I should have texted first so he could get rid of the guy. Or maybe not. Maybe it's better that I found out.
supporter: So you had been together for awhile and all of
a sudden he has another person in his life
seeker: We were together almost ten years. Over nine and a half. I had no idea. I don't think the guy is even someone he really cares about. I don't know.
supporter: Was this guy an associate of yours as well
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
seeker: I get that. It's hard to look at them. I'm not sure what to do to cope. Lately, my coping skills haven't been all to healthy
supporter: I did that with my husband when we were fighting, having a counselor in the room helped us gain insight.
seeker: I have a psychiatrist and I'm trying to figure out how to pay for a therapy currently. I know some offer sliding scale options
supporter: Exercise is helpful for burning off anger, a good long walk... Oh you must be in US?
seeker: Yeah, I'm in the U.S. I used to go on walks and exercise at night. It really helps me sleep.
seeker: Maybe I can start doing that again
supporter: I think that would be great! A good way to burn off frustration and improve physical health at the same time.
seeker: I always fall out of it! Any advice for making a steady habit out of it?
| Affirmation and Reassurance |
supporter: Hello, how are you today?
seeker: Hi, I'm feeling pretty lonely today and don't have friends I can reach out to.
supporter: I am sorry to hear that - how about reaching out to any family members?
seeker: I have my husband, but with COVID he's the only person I've really had interactions with lately. He's great, but it's just not the same as having a friend to turn to. I feel every time I reach out to the friends I do have they are too busy with their families to talk.
supporter: I feel a lot of people are in your situation especially with Covid going on. Do you connect with friends on social media at all (like facebook)?
seeker: Yea, I do comment on their social media and follow up with their lives there. I do not actively post about my own life because we have been extremely cautious with covid as I am high risk, so we don't even go grocery shopping. I think I am just feeling fatigued of being stuck inside, which makes me feel sad about everything else.
supporter: I can totally understand where you are coming from. I think it is great that you are at least getting a little communication with facebook. I am guessing you will be in line for a vaccination also in the up coming month which I think will help your mood as well.
seeker: Yes, I am awaiting my turn for the vaccine and I am very much looking forward to getting it so I can get back to some normalcy. I miss being able to go shopping or sitting in a coffee shop. These activities helped me in the past, so I look forward to being able to get out and do them again. I used to visit my friends too and we'd have lunch or coffee at their house, but obviously I haven't been able to do that lately. I will be able to once I get the vaccine.
| Self-disclosure |
supporter: Boring podcasts are good for sleep, too.
seeker: I've tried melatonin - hit or miss. I haven't thought of podcasts - maybe I will try that
supporter: I can relate to the problems with sleeping and test anxiety. I know that if you try a few things to see what works for you, it will get better.
seeker: thank you! luckily exams don't last forever
supporter: Good luck on the exams- you can do it! :)
seeker: thank you for your suggestions - which podcast do you recommend I try
supporter: I like "Sleep with me" and "Anxiety Slayer".
seeker: The names sound like they would be helpful, I will look into them - thanks!
| Others |
supporter: I have made close to 12,000.00 in one year just reselling the returns.Also ESTY is also a great place.
seeker: Wow, what sorts of things have you sold?
supporter: Go to EBAY and scroll down to the the completed section and click it and this will show you the item your searching like homemade items or stuff like back packs that maybe on sell at Walmart and I buy them and see what they are selling for
seeker: Okay, thanks for the suggestions.
supporter: I have purchased a lot of stuff from walmart and resold it on EBAY
supporter: Its fun
seeker: I worked with someone whose boyfriend did that. I've never thought about doing that.
seeker: I might have to consider doing that so I can feel more helpful to my husband.
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
seeker: Absolutely, then i ll help my family with household chores and make them free
seeker: Then we have some quality time to spend together!
supporter: Yes, giving them a helping hand, getting things done together, could greatly improve your home life.
supporter: Are you feeling any better since we started chatting?
seeker: yeah! Thank you so much! It is good to have a conversation with you! Now I am feeling better
supporter: That's terrific to here. I'm happy you're feeling better.
supporter: hear* - sorry for the misspelling. :)
seeker: Hah hah! It's Ok, We can Quit this conversation now! Thanks once again!! :-)
| Reflection of feelings |
seeker: please give me some suggegtion that what should i do now
supporter: I would continue trying to reach out to him and until you can get in touch with him maybe find some thing to do to occupy your mind as to where it does not bother you so much.
supporter: do you have any hobbies?
seeker: yeah i like to play football
supporter: maybe go play some football to get your mind off of it
seeker: yeah sure
supporter: from chatting with you seem like a nice person, try not to let it get you down.
seeker: now im feeling well because of you
| Reflection of feelings |
seeker: no corporate
supporter: That is stressful, being a female myself I can completely understand the stress and pressure.
supporter: Is there any options of looking for other, possibly better, employment in your area?
seeker: so what is the best thing for me how to handle this
seeker: you think I should just quitt?
seeker: I have now 10 years in with them, he just became my boss due to a merger
supporter: i wouldn't quit if you are not prepared to, but i would weigh options of looking for somewhere that would appreciate your efforts in a work place. With 10+ years of experience any company would be more than happy to have a dedicated worker with them.
seeker: so you think i should at least look for something new ?
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
supporter: I had a bad breakup that I thought about for about 6 months. Then I realized that life moves on. If it did not work out, it was for a reason.
seeker: But none of my partners have lived up to her
seeker: How did you come to that realization
seeker: Was it just time or was there something that you actually did
supporter: I thought about the good times and bad. I went over why it didn't work. I realized that it never would have. Then I carried that new knowledge to my next relationship
seeker: Oh that is good advice
seeker: did it work for you or would you suggest that I do something like this
seeker: or something slightly different
| Others |
supporter: You have a calling on your life. Don't let the dream die
seeker: No. That mission has been placed on my heart.
supporter: He will use you in mighty ways
seeker: Well... I should be going, but thank you for taking the time to chat.
supporter: Ok. Hope I was of help
supporter: I am a Christian also
seeker: You definitely were. I am feeling better than I have in about a mo
nth. I appreciate that.
seeker: God put you here tonight for a reason
| Reflection of feelings |
seeker: cold and snowy here
supporter: Not to warm here
supporter: Where do you live
seeker: PA
supporter: That is a cold state. How can I help you today?
seeker: going through a depression due to a job loss
supporter: That is understandable. Was it because of the virus
seeker: No. I was hurt at work
| Reflection of feelings |
supporter: It always hurts both partners when it happens.
seeker: Yes it does
supporter: Let me ask if you are involved with a church
seeker: Yes and my preacher has been so helpful in this situation
supporter: You must have other friends in common, maybe they were afraid to say anything to hurt you
seeker: It is possible
supporter: That is good you are involved with a church.
seeker: Yes without my church family I would be even more depressed
| Providing Suggestions |
seeker: Hello.
supporter: How r u
seeker: Not doing too well.
supporter: What is your day like
seeker: Bleak and depressing. How is yours going?
supporter: What seems to be the issue
supporter: What is making you feel this way
seeker: My girlfriend left me and I am all alone.
| Question |
seeker: Took me a long time tho to get over it
supporter: It takes time for trust wounds to heal but you've handle it greatly.
seeker: Yes all things being equal i believe that was the right thing to do. considering relationships cannot work without some form of trust
supporter: Good for you! Have you heard of Cheater's Anonymous?
seeker: Is that an app?
supporter: Yes it is. They help you learn to trust again if that's what you want. Would you like the web address?
seeker: Ohh i see
seeker: Yes please. that would be nice.
| Information |
supporter: why is that? because of covid?
seeker: No it's always been like that.
seeker: They will make plans in front of me and not invite me,
supporter: so, your friend and thier friends make plans in front of you but dont invite you?
supporter: have you ever just showed up? maybe they assume talking in front of you is like an invite
supporter: or have you ever asked your friend what is going on?
seeker: Yeah. They will also talk about how they did something previously and I wasn't invited.
seeker: That's not my personality. I think it's rude to show up or assume.
| Reflection of feelings |
seeker: I'm doing well right now
supporter: that's great you're doing well 'right now' but what happened prior that you weren't all right?
seeker: I just took my last exam and I feel that I will fail and have to retake it
supporter: Oh I'm sorry. I'm sure you did fine. We all feel that way after exams!
seeker: true!
supporter: have you felt this way with prior exams? if so, did you really fail or did you do okay?
seeker: No, this was the first time I really did not study for this exam
seeker: Because I had 5 class this semester
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
seeker: Well I do feel better. Thinking about boundaries. It has been less stressful being so involved.
supporter: Without treatment she may just be getting worse.
supporter: That is good to hear..
seeker: I've heard she has a lawyer trying to straighten up the whole disability and tr
eatment thing
seeker: My girlfriend just won't let me stay out of it
seeker: Saying my mom has no one and I would regret it if she just does something crazy
supporter: That does make it difficult when a partner encourages you to engage in unhealthy behavior.
seeker: Yeah. If it was up to me I would probably just be dead silent
| Providing Suggestions |
supporter: Ah I have had this problem myself. Have you consulted with your doctor?
seeker: No but I have been taking melatoning or pm medication but it does not really help either
supporter: I am not sure what sort of medications they are - are they specifically for insomnia?
seeker: Melatonin, for sleep...and like tylenol PM... I also have taken over the counter sleep meds all of them are over the counteer
supporter: I tried those too but did not find them very effective, did you?
seeker: no i do not, but i do not want a prescription afraid of getting hooked
supporter: There are some sleeping pills out there that are not addictive, or at least I believe so
seeker: I am even worried that you could get hooked with the over the counter stuff...it is a rough spot, I see all the night time TV shows...
| Information |
supporter: My dog's name is Phineas. He is definitely my best friend.
seeker: Mine is Garbo. She craves attention as well
seeker: She needs attention from someone besides me as well
supporter: Do you talk to Garbo? Or bring Garbo to dog parks? That's a great way to do something for both you and Garbo!!
seeker: yes I talk with her and if there is a park I will let her run
supporter: Dog parks tend to have a lot of owners who also love dogs. They can love on Garbo and give you some connection too.
seeker: We lived in Florida and went to the beach everyday
seeker: yeah the parks are ok, but I let her run more openly
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
seeker: I really don't
have anyone to physically hangout with
supporter: Ok. Do you enjoy chatting with people online? You seem to chat well with me, so I think that you could connect with others virtually.
seeker: it's always been a struggle to make new friends to hang out with
supporter: Hobbies are a good way to connect with people. What do you like to do?
seeker: after high school it has been a struggle to meet new people to hang out
seeker: I tend to just hang out with new people I meet probably once and never see them again
supporter: Ok. My suggestions is that you find a friend or two to connect with virtually or physically. Perhaps joining a club, a gym or a class would help. This is one way for you to gain control of the situation.
seeker: I used to enjoy Zumba since I like dancing , I spend most my freetime watching movies and different series on Netflix also like to watch the home remodeling shows
| Information |
supporter: Do you think getting in contact with a job agency in your area would be beneficial to you?
seeker: I have not contacted a job agency. I don't have experience with them. That is a good idea.
supporter: Perhaps there are a few agencies in your area to help and you can maximize your opportunities.
supporter: You mentioned feeling down in the beginning of the conversation, would you like to talk about that?
seeker: Yes I am going to look. It will increase my chances of finding work.
seeker: It doesn't help that I live with my parents and because I have no work I spend most of my time at home and get into arguments with them.
supporter: Tension can be high when you already feel stressed about the job situation.
supporter: When I am feeling especially low or tense, I find that helping others significantly helps my disposition.
| Question |
seeker: His hands are so big he could be a power forward in the WNBA
seeker: and average "15 Minutes' per game
supporter: I do not know what that is but I can probably spend the rest of my life without finding out and still die happy.
seeker: her ex is like John wall and I look like Justin beiber with no hands. He tried to fight me and told me if i talk to her again I'm gonna "Catch these hands"
supporter: I don't know who those people are either. I live a very sheltered life.
seeker: I used to live a sheltered life. I was then unsheltered and cut my hands off in a bicycle accident
supporter: I thought you were born without them but perhaps they grew back.
seeker: I wasn't born I just showed up one day.
| Information |
supporter: Living with uncertainties can make anyone feel anxious. Have you tried getting outdoors for a small walk or hike?
seeker: yes, I try to walk outdoors every day, for at least 30 minutes. it does help a lot. but with the weather turning colder, that may be difficult to continue
supporter: It is so important during stressful life events to take care of our minds and bodies. It sounds like you have been making good choices! Have you reached out to family or friends for advice or perhaps help with supplemental employment?
seeker: not yet; it is very difficult for me to ask for help. But I may need to do so in the near future. I am fortunate to have a close network of family and friends that I can count on
supporter: I am happy to hear you have support during this time.
seeker: i would be open to seeking other employment online; work from home on the computer. any suggestions?
supporter: Luckily, there are many platforms online that allow you to work from home. I know of several that allow you to do side "gigs". Perhaps you can search and find a few of these. I, myself have had success doing these.
seeker: thanks! i will check it out. in the meantime, any other suggestions for dealing with anxiety?
| Information |
supporter: We all need some break from staying in front of computes all the day long.
supporter: After holidays, who knows...
seeker: Yes, there is hope.
supporter: We do not need to face a risk of driving through the snow....
supporter: and be in a good shape...
supporter: Listening to meditation and concentration music might help....
seeker: Ah, I see.
seeker: I think meditation can be very helpful for calming the mind. That's good advice.
| Affirmation and Reassurance |
supporter: Your welcome
seeker: that gives me some stuff to try, that's great
supporter: I hope you will try these soon
seeker: i will do my best to
supporter: thanks for all
seeker: oh y ou know what i do find helps my mood? walking
seeker: ok i have to go
seeker: bye and thanks again
| Others |
seeker: I know its toxic but the influence from other family members makes it hard since everyone is so accustom to how he acts and they let it slide
supporter: Unfortunately that is often how it works with such people. Would you be able to make a completely new break and move away? I know it's hard.
seeker: I am trying the therapy to not be the stubborn one and say that i atleast tried but if it does not work then that seems to be the only option unless he makes changes
supporter: So you feel that you are trying hard to mend the quarrel but he is not putting in any effort himself?
seeker: I dont feel like he is. He still thinks I should apologize to him for what I said but I don't think what i said was bad at all or warrented his reaction
seeker: he has not done any of the assignments th e therapist has given either
supporter: I do not feel that you are the one in the wrong. Unfortunately, there are some people that you just can't reach
seeker: i believe that is the case as well, thank you for your help
| Others |
supporter: Well I would say that if you've got as far as you have you might as well get the piece of paper. But the world is your oyster after that - you do not need to be tied to your field!
seeker: I agree! I've always worried about money, Im hoping that it becomes a bit of a nonissue, not to get political but the whole capitalism thing is a huge downer lol, Imagine being able to live life without worrying about money, very nice, but then again financial freedom isnt everything.
supporter: Certainly I do not think there is any harm in the status quo being shaken up a little .. or indeed a lot!
seeker: forreal, our system is really weird, we place value on these random things and then force people to fight for pieces of paper their whole life, its an interesting problem
seeker: I find it more interesting how many people dont think about it too deeply, but they are probably happier that way
supporter: I totally agree. I am not totally sure what the solution is but I am hoping that there is one
supporter: Do you feel as though there is hope for the future though?
seeker: Oh definitely, its just scary comparing myself to others that look like they have it all figured out
| Self-disclosure |
seeker: I think may be because my approach to things are a little more subtle. I tend to get a long with people in different departments more than he does. I'm "not aggressive enough" he's said in the past. But I just think it's a different approach on how to handle matters.
supporter: hate to ask but have the 2 of you been close before
seeker: nothing more than employer/employee.
supporter: is there an arbitrator you can involve to discuss the matter
supporter: Sometimes a mediator can help with the situation.
seeker: I don't think it's come to that point. feel like I do need to personally address it as you mentioned earlier. I think going above his head on it would just make it worse. I just have to find the right way to approach him with my concerns.
supporter: Being in an environment that seems hostile towards you can make it hard.
seeker: Yeah. Will probably talk to one of my co-workers for more feedback as well.
| Question |
seeker: I've been trying to make plans to see a friend, but daily she comes up with excuses on why she cant see me.
seeker: I just feel abandoned and hopeless.
supporter: I can sense that this is bothering you a lot not knowing why your friend is making excuses. This is making you feel ignored.
supporter: May I ask if its been happening since the recent past or for a long time
seeker: Yeah, It is.i just dont understand. It started about a month ago.
supporter: I am assuming that you and your friend are very close and have been friends for a long time. Did you try talking to her over the phone? having a honest conversation with her and letting her know how you feel may help at times.
seeker: I have tried, she ignores my calls.
seeker: We've been friends for 15 years
| Self-disclosure |
supporter: Are you aware of any activities that you can participate in that can include your family? It could be the best of both worlds.
seeker: Yes, we like to go swimming at the YMCA together.
supporter: That is great! Physical activity has been shown to reduce stress levels.
supporter: My sister-in-law really benefits from having her sons in sports. She is able to connect with the other team moms and considers them some of her best friends. Depending on your YMCA your son may be able to participate in some of their programs?
seeker: Yes, and swimming is great exercise.
seeker: And if we do that more we can spend more time together.
seeker: I have been looking into putting him in soccer.
seeker: He can start at 3 years old.
| Others |
seeker: Hello :)
seeker: how are you
supporter: I'm good. How can I help you?
seeker: Im feeling very scared regarding my schooling
seeker: Im close to failing out and Im not sure what to do
supporter: So you are afraid you will fail your classes?
seeker: yeah
seeker: Im getting pretty close and I can't afford to fail my courses
| Question |
seeker: Well they sent out a email letting us know of the situation. SO I am also sure it is going to happen. I'm not sure how to let my family know.
supporter: Ok. Have you thought about a plan? When you tell your family, it may help to state your planned actions. This may help with feelings of uncertainty, both theirs and yours.
supporter: When I have been in a similar situation, I started reaching out to my network of friends and coworkers before I was let go.
seeker: Yea I just hate to do it today or tomorrow with it being Christmas. We do have a saving so that is good. But it will only last about 2 months.
supporter: I know. This is the worst time of year for this news. Surprisingly, it happens very often.
supporter: Having 2 months of savings is FANTASTIC! More than most people.
seeker: Yea. We have been saving snice the start of Covid. I knew this day would come it just hard at this time.
supporter: Do you anticipate any roadblocks to finding new employment in your industry?
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
supporter: Would you be willing to try a new hobby to make each day less monotonous?
seeker: Yes, I would be, but I'm not sure that it actually needs to be a new hobby. I just need to have some sort of project that I'm working on.
supporter: Maybe a new home improvement project?
seeker: No! I've got a jigsaw puzzle that I could start, and I also have a list of "21 books that you've been meaning to read."
supporter: Those both sound like great ideas! I think starting one, or both, would really make you feel a lot better.
seeker: If I start working through the 21 books, that should keep me going for quite a while (even if I'm not interested in all of them)!
supporter: I believe it will also help give you a sense of accomplishment. I know that it would me
seeker: I agree.
| Others |
supporter: I think there is a way to handle any situation. Have you had an honest and open conversation with your wife on both of your feelings on the matter?
seeker: yes very open and honest. Turns out she has some form of cancer and it is the cause of not being able to have anymore kids.
supporter: I am so sorry to hear that your wife has cancer. I have had an ill loved one and I know how difficult that can be, not just for the person going through it but for the family too.
supporter: How do you feel about not having any more kids?
seeker: yes very stessful. I want more kids. I have only had 2 of my own, 1 with my wfie 1 with my former partner.
supporter: I see. And is it a deal breaker for you if you cannot have any more kids? Would you be willing to stay with your wife and be content with the children you already have?
seeker: no not a huge deal breaker. But it is at the same time.
seeker: Its a hard situation
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
supporter: And it seems like you are doing a great job exercising at the pool and employing other methods to lose weight.
supporter: What is your primary motivation behind your weight loss goal?
seeker: The added weight is putting pressure on my hips and knees.
seeker: Causing a lot of pain as well for my lower back
supporter: That's no good. I'll bet that is difficult to deal with.
supporter: Have you thought about teaming up with a friend and going on daily walks?
seeker: No, I have to look after the kids.
supporter: Well, you could also take the kids on a walk every day.
| Information |
supporter: Have you any history of depression before?
seeker: I do have some family members with depression.
supporter: Have you seen any physicians about the problem?
seeker: Maybe I should make an appointment.
supporter: Getting help from a trained professional can often help to solve problems
seeker: You make a good point. What type of doctor could I see?
supporter: You could try going to your primary care physician and ask for recommendations.
seeker: I can do that. Are there any doctors that deal with emotions?
| Self-disclosure |
seeker: I have, but sometimes I feel like she doesn't really listen and she sort of talks over me a lot
supporter: It sounds like you don't feel listened to.
seeker: That's right... I guess that is quite a lot of the problem.
seeker: I don't mind so much the work, I know it is busy for everyone right now, it's a combination of the workload plus not being listened to
supporter: I had a similar issue at my last job. My supervisor constantly spoke over me in meetings, and it would drive me crazy. I never could get a word in edge-wise.
seeker: Yeah, that sounds a lot like what I am experiencing
supporter: Are you considering switching jobs?
seeker: It's been in the back of my mind, but it's a hard time just now with everything else going on
| Affirmation and Reassurance |
seeker: No. My nearby friends all went away for the holidays. I could probably just occupy my time with things I need or want to do in order to distract myself.
supporter: What kind of hobbies do you have?
seeker: I'm teaching myself the piano. I'm also teaching myself how to work a stenography machine for possible future employment as a stenographer. I also like to read novels.
supporter: I have never understood how those work..I find it amazing someone can type out whole words or sentences with one word
seeker: Yeah, it's pretty cool. For example, if I hit DRAT in one stroke, then "Did there come a time" will appear in English on my machine's LCD screen.
supporter: Wow that is crazy, I don't understand how that works, is it preprogrammed or does it go by how the word sounds?
seeker: Each stenographer has their own "Personal Dictionary" which is a list of words in English along with how you in particular write out those words or phrases in steno. This dictionary is present within the actual steno machine after you transfer it from your laptop to the machine via cable or wifi. Thus your machine then knows how you write out words in particular and how to translate those words from steno to English - each stenographer writes a little differently.
supporter: OK that makes sense, so you basically program it as the user. I take it your stenography machine becomes pretty close to you lol
| Question |
supporter: Hi, How are you feeling right now?
seeker: pretty crappy. Just lying in bed. never got out of my pjs today.
supporter: Today must have been a hard day for you. It seems that there are some things that are really bothering you.
seeker: The problem is I just don't really know how to feel better. I have much to be thankful for but don't seem to be able to really enjoy anything.
supporter: I am sorry to hear that. Sometimes even for a person like myself I try to find things that I love to do to keep motivated. Do you have hobbies or things that you like to do for fun?
seeker: That's what my husband keeps saying, too, but I just can't dredge up any enthusiasm for anything except I try to get out and walk because the fresh air is nice. I also knit, which is what I've been doing while lying in bed. But I can't think of the last time I really truly enjoyed myself.
supporter: Yes, those are things that does make you day feel good fresh air, and knitting keeps you calm. Also, Have you tried buying a treat for yourself or going out for trip in the previous months to get some relaxation?
seeker: Yes, the idea of a trip is enticing to me and I really hope to go visit my aunt in Michigan, perhaps in April. She is my mom's only sister and the only relative I have left from that generation and I love spending time with her. That was a good suggestion and I'll try to look forward to that.
| Affirmation and Reassurance |
seeker: Thank you, I will keep that in mind.
supporter: Is there anything else you need help with?
seeker: No, not today I feel a lot more calm and gained a better understanding of my emotions and the situation I am finding myself in.
supporter: Good, I am very glad to hear that. I am wishing you the best in the future and definitely feel free to contact me if you need support again!
seeker: Same to you, thank you for understanding and offering really good advice, i am guessing I had forgotten that there are things I can control
seeker: I am unsure how to end our chat
supporter: Do you need any help with any other questions? Otherwise, there is a quit button on the side.
seeker: No, thank you for putting everything in perspective for me. goodbye.
| Others |
seeker:
I cannot keep up with my classes and it is making me anxious
supporter: Ok. That sounds like something that you should talk to someone about. How many classes are you taking at the moment?
seeker:
I am taking 4 classes and I am struggling with all of them
supporter: That's tough. A full load of courses. Do you have to take all of them right now? Can you adjust your course load?
seeker: I have to take them all right now to make sure that I graduate
supporter: That's a challenging situation. Can you get help from the professor with the deadlines? Maybe you could look into getting a tutor.
seeker: My professors are trying to help they are actually being really nice. I am just having issues balancing it all honestly. I feel like I can never catch up on anything its just a lot on my plate
seeker: I think a tutor is actually a really good idea I might look into that
| Affirmation and Reassurance |
seeker: Or I could just get an adult entertainer to be my companion for a day. I've done that before with women in that industry. It costs a bit, but it's worth it for companionship
seeker: No, I just hate the idea of waking up to one woman for 20 or 30 years
seeker: But it's better than being alone
supporter: Robin Williams talked about that situation.
supporter: He said that he didn't fear being alone as much as being with people that he didn't like.
seeker: Did he really? Well, it's sad how he ended up, I'm too scared to commit suicide like he did! I enjoy living life, even when I have months at a time without human connection
supporter: Adult entertainers provide one kind of companionship, but it is not complete. It feels like a stopgap to me. Is it fulfilling enough for you?
seeker: You're right, I just lack self confidence in my poetry....hopefully I'll figure out a way to spit it out on a blog or something
| Providing Suggestions |
seeker: I was lost
seeker: thanks to my bank manager, that make my eyes to open
supporter: That person is just a scammer. They probably reach out to hundreds of potential victims every day, waiting for someone to bite. I'm sorry you were taken in by them.
supporter: Were you able to recover any of your loss?
seeker: i can believe now
seeker: if u tell me two months ago I will never accept what you are saying
seeker: thanks for your time
supporter: Scams like that have been going on for years. They just change how they go about it and what platform they use.
| Others |
supporter: How are you doing today?
seeker: I'm not feeling great. I think my girlfriend may be cheating on me.
supporter: So you think she may, have started a relationship with someone else?
seeker: Yes, I think so although I don't have any proof. Things were going really well and then all of a sudden she text me and told me things aren't working.
supporter: Ok, well that doesn't sound pleasant and must be difficult to hear. Perhaps her feelings have changed and there isn't necessarily another person involved?
seeker: She has started a new job and I think she might have met someone at work that she likes better than me. I can't believe she is doing this to me!
supporter: Ok so it seems like you are quite angry at the moment at the thought of her with someone else, is that true?
seeker: Yes I suppose it is true. The thing is I thought things were going well and she is stressed out at work with her new job but we were getting on great!
| Self-disclosure |
supporter: Why are you feeling sad?
seeker: My friends always cheating me
supporter: That sounds difficult. How does that make you feel other than sad?
seeker: Yes i feel very bad
supporter: You feel bad about the situation. Tell me more?
seeker: My friends always avoiding me
supporter: Can you think of any strategies you might be able to use to stop your friends from avoiding you?
seeker: Yes i am anytime talk about my friends
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
supporter: Can you tell me some more specific details
seeker: We were having issues at work due to covid and he did not want to help me with any of the work that was required. He had invited me over to his house to which I found my clothes in a trash bag and he wanted to talk to me which i was reluctatnt after that
seeker: we ended up having a talk to which I told him that his job is patient care since he is a physician and he took great offense to that
seeker: thus truly kicking me out
supporter: To me this sounds like a very toxic relationship. I have been in a similar situation and I really think that it is best that you move on from this. You do not need this level of toxicity in your life
seeker: I know its toxic but the influence from other family members makes it hard since everyone is so accustom to how he acts and they let it slide
supporter: Unfortunately that is often how it works with such people. Would you be able to make a completely new break and move away? I know it's hard.
seeker: I am trying the therapy to not be the stubborn one and say that i atleast tried but if it does not work then that seems to be the only option unless he makes changes
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
seeker: Teachers are not cared about its just about pleasing the parents it crazy. I can't quit because there not much to go into now
supporter: Is there someone else you could go to about this? Besides whoever you've already attempted to discuss it with?
supporter: Yeah you're right. Covid has been a mess for everyone and affected us in so many ways that e could've never prepared for
seeker: I've tried contacting HR a few times but I have never received
a call back, or my emails answered.
supporter: I mean all you can do is try your best to stay safe but I would continue to reach out to people higher up and see about getting something done. They probably get a lot of calls and emails right now because of everything going on but I would keep trying
seeker: Very true. I'm going to keep trying. Thanks for talking with me letting out what I feel has made me feel a little better.
supporter: Thank you for talking with me too! I hope it has helped some. At least you know you're not alone...
seeker: It really did help I feel a bit lighter. Thank you again.
| Others |
supporter: What would you like to talk about, then? We could talk about the problem more, or if you feel like it is defined, we could talk about solutions, or not talk about solutions at all. What would make you feel better?
seeker: I would like to talk about solutions since I feel like the problem is defined.
supporter: I know what it is like to be depressed. I also take medication for this. For solutions, studies show that working out and exercising can help depression. Have you considered this?
seeker: Yes, I enjoy taking walks and doing a cardio workout at home.
supporter: That's great!
What ways do you think you could communicate more with your family?
seeker: I could communicate more with my family by calling them on the phone, texting, emailing, or talking to them on Zoom.
supporter: You listed a lot of good solutions such as zoom and texting. Do you think doing that would make you feel less depressed?
seeker: Yes, I think that Zoom and texting would make me feel less depressed.
| Others |
supporter: Well at least is something. I am sure talking to someone who might be able to guide you academically will be a significant relief.
seeker: That is a good idea. Do you personally recommend anything on how to balance my schedule and still be able to have my time to do other things?
supporter: When I was at college, I usually aimed at 2 hours of studying everyday (+ homework) and I also aimed to have at least 2 hours of leisure time.
seeker: I see, and how were you able to maintain a healthy lifestyle with enough sleep and healthy eating habits during college?
supporter: I honestly didn't eat very healthy. If you live with your parents, I think a proper nutrition is easier. I usually slept around 7 hours each night. I picked most of my classes on the afternoon, worked out in the mornings.
seeker: okay i understand, and what do you suggest for when you do poorly on an exam that you studied so hard for, how do you keep yourself from feeling down?
supporter: I would suggest talking to the professor or an academic advisor to explore strategies that could help you improve
seeker: okay but is it normal to be upset?
| Affirmation and Reassurance |
seeker: It was about 15 years for me, as well.
seeker: I was never far away, just not close enough, if you know what I mean.
supporter: Your a gift from God to the world
seeker: I left my childhood church because it turned into a false church, and it no longer teaches God's word.
seeker: I still pray for them daily that they can realize what they are doing, repent and turn it around.
supporter: We were always close but He knew the time to bring you home
supporter: Even though we are locked down can you sign online for a church
seeker: It took years to find a church that God wanted me to be with, but I have found my church family, and I love them. I am closer to my church family than I am to blood relatives.
| Question |
supporter: An uptick in expenses seems to be an issue for a lot of us right now. Glad to hear you enjoy your job. Sounds like you are a bit torn about leaving a great company. Do I understand that right?
seeker: That's right. It's hard to know what to do.
supporter: I can absolutely understand why your situation is difficult. Have you had a chance to talk with your manager about another opportunity within the company that provides higher compensation?
seeker: I've considered it, but I unfortunately work for a non-profit and the likelihood of them being able to offer another opportunity is pretty low. Do you think it would still be worth it to ask?
supporter: That's fantastic that you work for a non-profit. I've been looking to transition to an opportunity like that sometime in the future. It must be so fulfilling. I think asking would be a great first step.
seeker: It's really nice to have mission driven work and would definitely recommend it. It's unfortunate that it's challenging for many non-profits to pay as much as they should. Thank you for the advice! I'm really hoping I don't have to leave.
supporter: As a secondary plan, have you had the chance to look at positions with similar non-profits?
seeker: I have searched around a bit, but have come to find that there's not many similar non-profits where I live currently. I may consider relocating if it's the right job, but that's a lot of additional stress.
| Reflection of feelings |
seeker: January 15th is my last day
supporter: That's not a good spot to be in, I completely understand.
seeker: I will get pay for the last two weeks of January, 2021.
supporter: That is horrible. Do you mind if I ask why?
seeker: What do you suppose I do? Looks like the company has been hot hard by COVID-19 lockdowns.
supporter: How long have you been working there?
seeker: I am very sad about this country and my work situation.
seeker: For 5 years. I work in accounting.
| Self-disclosure |
supporter: Did they have a reason for giving you the pink slip?
seeker: They are getting rid of all kinds of people and I think the newest hires are going first.
supporter: You will find a job if you are determined enough :)
seeker: People were let go every Friday for the last month. I was hoping I had another week to try and save up.
supporter: Do you have enough money to keep going?
seeker: I am looking around the house trying to find things I can sell just to get me through the next week as far as groceries and I think my phone bill is due too.
seeker: I really don't. This came at the worst time.
seeker: I don't know what to do.
| Reflection of feelings |
supporter: 20 years is a long time! It takes a lot of commitment to your friendship to not only keep in touch for that long, but also make the time to support them emotionally when it matters most. You are a loyal friend, and your friend is lucky to have you around!
seeker: thank ya. him and I are there for each other. We dated briefly at first but have been friends ever since. He said I was the one who got away. But he was the one who ended it lol
supporter: It sounds like you and him have had quite the history, but your friendship has proven to remain strong through thick and thin (20 years!). I can't imagine how stressful it must be to be for him to be waiting for surgery, and I'm sure it means the world to him that you are by his side. How has your friendship been in the midst of everything these days?
seeker: It's been good. We've been talking about Covid and the election too. I know I'd be nervous to go in for heart surgery.
supporter: That's great to hear. Both COVID and the election have certainly been stressful. What are some ways that you have been able to support each other?
seeker: just being there for each other as a listening ear
supporter: It's so easy to feel alone these days. Sometimes being present is all you can do, but it's the absolute best thing that you can do. Keep going, you're doing great!
seeker: thank ya! nity nite
| Others |
supporter: For now, that is a normal feeling and reaction, but with therapy and some help, that will lessen in frequency and severity. Have you tried meditation?
seeker: yes but it is not so effective towards me
supporter: How about a therapist, if only temporarily?
seeker: yes because of the pandemic no one will provide a proper theraphy
supporter: There are many support groups online you can try. I would contact your PCP who can try to get you in touch with someone who could help.
seeker: do you know anyone
supporter: not online, only locally, and I don't know where you live, sorry.
seeker: its okey, i will find by myself
| Reflection of feelings |
seeker: What kind of tools would you recommend I use to get through this
supporter: Well, falling back on savings while you look for more work is good for a while. If you have any food insecurity as a result, there are often local food banks. It's really not something to be embarrased about, so many people face food insecurity through no fault of their own.
supporter: You could also give a call to your local social services because they will be able to tell you what resources would be available, whether it's a vocational program or temporary assistance.
seeker: Wow you're so helpful and encouraging! It's very nice to talk to you.
seeker: Are there any meds you can recommend to help me sleep?
supporter: Well, if it's possible, I would talk to a doctor. If you're looking for Over-the-counter sleep medication, melatonin has helped me in the past.
seeker: Wow! I've never used melatonin before. Did it really help you? Are you doing much better now?
supporter: It defiitely helps me fall asleep.
| Information |
supporter: What's on your mind?
seeker: I am upset about the loss of my best friend's son dying in a car accident
supporter: I'm really sorry to hear that. When did this happen?
seeker: The accident was Thursday February 25th but he held on until Sunday the 28th
seeker: He was only 26 years old
supporter: There's nothing that can prepare you for unexpected tragedies like this. We just have to deal with them as they come.
seeker: I understand what you are saying but that's the problem. How to deal with such a terrible unexpected loss
seeker: I feel helpless because there is nothing I can do to make her feel better.
| Reflection of feelings |
seeker: Just financial problems
supporter: There's a lot of that going on these days, it can be rough. I know how you feel. Do you have any plans you want to put into play to solve the problem?
seeker: I'm attempting to sue money and pay off my debts and hopefully everything will get sorted out
seeker: save*
supporter: It seems like you've got some good plans in the making. So you're trying to save and reduce your debts as much as possible right?
seeker: Yes
supporter: That's great to hear. Do you have anyone close to you that can help you out in a bind?
seeker: My mom has helped loan me money to pay bills that are about to be cut off. Just a small bit though. It has helped a lot though
| Reflection of feelings |
seeker: I think so, I am worried about my future with the pandemic, I guess we all are. I am from Brazil and lots of people are dying there.
seeker: I have lost 2 relatives to COVID in Brazil and also lost 4 friends there
supporter: Yeah the pandemic hit badly there. I am sorry for your loss. Perhaps you just dont want to follow in the same pathway which is why you are stressed
seeker: exactly. I am also very stressed because I have too much on my plate with school, working full time, kids at home distance learning
supporter: Yh thats seems like quite a lot and I know how you feel because of when I was a student. If i made it through you can too! try your best
seeker: Thank you. The doctor prescribed an antidepressant that should help with anxiety and a sleeping pill, but I dont want to take it
supporter: If you dont take it you might never feel better. I would advice you to take it and see how you feel after
seeker: I am worried about getting addicted to it or something. Have you ever tried these type of meds
/
| Information |
seeker: Thank you. That was nice to hear that.
seeker: Sorry if that was confusing. I mean I don't take time for myself to heal because I feel so guilty that I didn't talk to her in the end.
seeker: Should I just accept it?
supporter: I think that you need to understand that things happen about of our control and to not just accept it and forget it, but maybe put a day aside every year to celebrate her life.
seeker: That is a good idea.
seeker: I do plan on taking a small trip to celebrate her life.
supporter: My grandmother was amazing, and loved burritos, so we used to make them together. After she passed, we started making them as a family in order to celebrate the life she had and memories of her.
seeker: That such a precious memory to have.
| Providing Suggestions |
seeker: That feels so scary. Sometimes I stay up till the morning because I hate the feeling. And I haven't found any.... Do you have some in mind
supporter: Well, there are some breathing techniques that you could practice .. they can be quite helpful
seeker: Thanks I will try. I have tried this app called calm also
supporter: Ah how did you find that? Is it useful?
supporter: Would you consider taking some sort of medication?
seeker: Not really.... Then its like i hate being in crowds, it makes me very anxious.
supporter: Yes I do too. I try to avoid other people as much as possible :(
seeker: RIght I thought I was the only one.
| Information |
supporter: That must be a real challenge. Anyone would feel stressed in this situation.
seeker: yes it has been at least when he was alive we had his income it was stressfull but we had the money to keep up with things
supporter: So you used to rely on his income and now you are struggling to make ends meet?
seeker: yes and with Covid its been even harder
supporter: I have also felt that COVID has added additional pressure in my life. You are not alone in thinking this. It must be tough
seeker: yes for all , so we are moving but thats been a pain also getting approved for a mortgage packing up and still caring for my mother
supporter: So from talking to you it seems like there has been a sudden death which has been difficult, financial challenges as a result and all this is mixed with Covid and moving house. This must be incredibly stressful.
seeker: yes I cant sleep and when I do I wake up in a panic middle of the night
| Providing Suggestions |
supporter: For the max that is, lol.
seeker: Oh sorry thought it was 15 minutes. So where are you at?
supporter: West Coast of all things! WA st, so lots of hiking for me. It's been helping so much.
seeker: I moved from Renton to here in Myrtle Beach SC
supporter: Oh hey! So all of your family is here then. What prompted the move?
seeker: Got real tired of the weather and people there
seeker: Everyone friendly here and actually talk to one another
supporter: Ha. I believe that. I was born and raised in Puyallup, so it's all I know. i couldn't ever think of leaving.
| Others |
supporter: I am sorry to hear that. I will help if I can - what is the matter?
seeker: my family is very superficial
seeker: i'm sad they aren't able to connect with me in a meaningfulway
supporter: (Sorry I was afk) I am really sorry to hear that. Can you elaborate a bit?
supporter: Is it one specific family member or all of them?
seeker: lol its all of them...parents and sister
seeker: idk it's a bit personal and very sad. i wouldn't want to make you sad too
supporter: Is the problem bad enough that you feel you would like to cut them off entirely?
| Others |
supporter: Cancer is already a hard enough disease to fight against. My aunt is a cancer survivor. I am sure your mother can make it too.
seeker: She is a fighter.
supporter: From my knowledge, people usually recover from COVID after 2 to 3 weeks, you might consider having a doctor see your mother if she is still struggling.
seeker: Yeah, she went again the other day. She is doing quite a bit better. He said because of underlying conditions it may take her longer, but she is doing great. That was encouraging.
supporter: There are substantially more people recovering from covid each day despite the number of infected growing exponentially. I am sure that, with the proper care, your mother in law will make it, and so will your husband.
supporter: I am sure he will be able to find a new job soon as new business start to open, even if it's a temporary one.
seeker: Yeah, I guess you're right. I know you're right. I just haven't felt really in the Christmas spirit this year and I am anxious about everything I can't control.
seeker: He did have an interview today too, so that is good news.
| Reflection of feelings |
supporter: It's great that you have friends in your life that you love. What is causing you to feel that you hate your life today?
seeker: My friend saw the lie
supporter: Ok. Your friends saw the lie. do you mean to say that your friends uncovered a lie you told them?
seeker: Yes he told lie to me
supporter: So a good friend told you a lie? Do you feel that the lie was meant to hurt you?
seeker: I am very hurted
supporter: How did the lie hurt you?
seeker: He say that lie i will hurt
| Question |
seeker: Ah fair, that's good to know
seeker: Yes, still it doesn't quite help that no matter how many CVs you submit, hit rates for jobs just don't go up.
supporter: what are cv's? I see, I am getting by by dping a billion a day lol
supporter: but there is other income, im not sure it would support me otherwise. Are there other lines of work you could look into?
seeker: I get what you mean about other lines of work. I'm trained as an academic research associate and had to spend a few months last year working in an Amazon warehouse. I feel like I've wasted enough time outside of aimed-for career to go back to doing manual labour.
seeker: *this year even..
supporter: well the title sounds legit, lol, but yes i see and understand. Did you do the trainging in the warehouse for the research job?
seeker: No, completely unrelated jobs. It was more of a "really need a job right now" situation, and they were hiring quite unassumingly.
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
seeker: They are paying me well but It is hard to take the load beside I have family and kids responsibility. I don't have time for them.
supporter: I understand. But I want you to think about this. Your mental health is more important right now because it is affecting you. And how you feel really affects those around you, especially the ones who love you. If you take some time to think about what is more important to you in life right now can help you make a decision.
supporter: Working so hard can be a barrier right now. But you may have a bright future plan ahead. If so, that is something you want to look forward to.
supporter: I know what you are doing is really helping your family. And I know they really appreciate it, even if they don't say it.
seeker: I can understand that. But my job is really important right now as my partner lost his in COVID. and he is not doing anything right now not even helping at home. It makes me more low and it is hard to take care of 3 younger kids who are staying at home full time.
supporter: Ok, I understand better now. Thank you for explaining. What you are telling should to be something you need to discuss with your partner. Do both of you communicate well with each other? Maybe he is not aware of your situation or how you feel.
seeker: Nowadays he is so frustrated doesn't like to talk even. Whenever I bring household responsibilities or kids topic, he gets frustrated.
supporter: Oh no. I can see from his part he feels upset and frustrated because he may feel useless at the moment. But that's not an excuse to neglect responsibilities. You can maybe make him feel more useful around the house by starting to assign him small tasks. Encouraging him to do stuff and rewarding him with words of encouragement. I know it sounds kind of frustrating to do that, but maybe this small step on your half could also help him.
| Question |
seeker: can you help me providing some emotional support
seeker: Is there anything that I can do to be get out of the sadness in my life
supporter: Absolutely. Tell me more about it. When did it happen?
seeker: it happened about a week ago..my boyfriend is being very possessive about everything I do
seeker: I find it not convincing and broke up with him
supporter: I see. Were you living with your boyfriend? How was your life post breakup?
seeker: ye since an year..Iam feeling an emptyness in my life
seeker: Do you suggest anything to come out of this
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
supporter: I understand you are emotional when thinking back, are the emotions of your friend, good or bad?
seeker: yeah, but i just get sucked in my emotions at that moment and it feels as if i am being transported back in time to that moment
seeker: the emotions are bad
supporter: Have you tried keeping busy so you remain focused in your life?
seeker: yes
supporter: Do you find that method is helping you get past/avoid those bad feelings you are having?
seeker: yes, i have further discovered new things that i am devoted to and that has helped keep me going
supporter: I understanding finding new interesting and devoting yourself to them. When I lost my dog recently, who I had for 20 years, I found that spending my time at a local dog shelter really helped me cope and move forward.
| Others |
supporter: Oh okay, well while looking for job try not to put yourself in position where you take deep breaths and let your mind at piece. Patience is everything. Sometime in life we all have our patience tested, but that is OK because at the end the results are better than anything.
supporter: I mean try to put yourself in that position.
seeker: That is true. Maybe it just isn't the right time. Maybe I need to learn something before I find a job that I need to do
supporter: Of course! Everything comes at a perfect time, and we have to learn to be patient, and while waiting we can indulge in other activities that we like.
supporter: While doing your online job maybe you can work in activities that build experience for a job you want to do next time.
seeker: I volunteer once a week with animals
supporter: That is a great idea! You are working hard and that hard work is going to pay off! Just try to relax and be patient, which can help with your stress.
seeker: Thank you! I appreciate your comments. I will try to relax and know that things will eventually work out
| Others |
supporter: ah, are they elderly or have a weakened immune system?
seeker: elderly. dads doctor told me not to meet friends in person cuz i could pass it onto him
supporter: gotcha. you must live with them to help them out!
seeker: i sure do. thing is people my age are getting very sick with it too. and some elderly are not. so i could be helping myself more than my dad
supporter: mine are in another state so i don't have to worry about my behavior. you are right though, anyone can get it...i should probably be more careful myself
seeker: yes absolutely. never know. its a weird virus. best to keep immune system high which i have been
supporter: i have increased my vitamins i admit. have you as well?
seeker: yes and started taking airborne for vitamin c
| Affirmation and Reassurance |
supporter: The 6 foot rule is causing you a problem.
seeker: yes i have to be closer
supporter: What other type work do you do
supporter: Question for you
seeker: none
seeker: but i am looking for work from home jobs
supporter: Are you able to visit people in their homes
seeker: no
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
supporter: Yes, the workplace is not like home life.
supporter: Yes, trust matters.
seeker: But every time i bring it up, he tries to change the subject. How should I approach him to communicate better?
supporter: I would see if he wants to spend time doing things like volunteering after work. If he says yes, or is excited, that is a good sign that he wants to be with you....even after work.
seeker: okay! that is a good idea. Maybe I can research something and see if there is anything new we can do together.
supporter: Find things that he has in common or energize the relationship.
supporter: Yes, ask him if he wants to learn to swing dance or take skiing lessons or volunteer for Habitat for Humanity.
seeker: That is a good point. It is just hard to go on with the relationship when I feel I do not know the whole truth and there is little discussion or reassurance.
| Affirmation and Reassurance |
supporter: Hello. How are you doing today?
seeker: I cannot seem to focus on online learn. FU covid
supporter: It must be very difficult to be a student during this time.
seeker: It is so weird. I am a hands on. teacher talking to me kinda person. what the F
supporter: I understand that completely. It's very helpful to speak with people face to face. However, have you sought other ways, such as through Zoom, to interact with peers having the same difficulties?
seeker: zoom is not the same. I am in a techincal trade and need my hands
supporter: Classes that involve hands-on work must be very challenging to do online. It sounds like this is a real dilemma. What ways have you already sought to overcome it?
seeker: trying to stay sane (patient) that the vaccine works and we get back to normal soon. FU lockdown
| Self-disclosure |
seeker: and I cried and had a lot of anxiety symptoms afterwards because I'm literally not allowed to talk to her and I just feel she's in a negative place
supporter: That is really rough and im sorry that your parents are taking sides and not looking at this from the whole situation.
supporter: So she is not there currently?
seeker: No she is not
seeker: My parents gave her like 5-7 thousand dollars and my grandma is giving her money every month. But just friday I was getting her stuff ready to pick up and I found like 700 dollars of clothes with tags on them and tons of expensive makeup and creams barely used
seeker: I just worry a lot about my niece she is so sweet, funny, and smart and she's living with someone who makes horrible decisions
seeker: sorry I'm talking a lot but just kinda unloading
supporter: Well i can see you really care for your niece. It also seems like your sister is a toxic person who is using your family. It may be rough not being able to see your niece but it might be better for your own well being to have this space from her.
| Information |
seeker: It could be better to have vacation for a week
supporter: It sounds like that could make a big difference in changing things for you. You just need a better work/life balance to straighten things out.
supporter: I had a similar experience in the past, and talking with my manager about time off reinvigorated me.
seeker: Exactly. Please suggest me any idea to spend my time with my family and away from this work pressure
seeker: Sounds good! I ll arrange a conversation with my head then
supporter: With COVID-19, it may limit your options, but you could decide which activities you would collectively enjoy the most, and try to do them as often as possible together.
seeker: Absolutely, then i ll help my family with household chores and make them free
seeker: Then we have some quality time to spend together!
| Restatement or Paraphrasing |
supporter: how are you doing
seeker: good and you?
supporter: i am good too
seeker: My spouse wants me to allow him to have a cheat day during Christmas
supporter: what's up with you
seeker: Basically he wants to sleep with someone else for a change
supporter: let me get you right, you mean you guy want to cheat on and he told you about it
seeker: yes he wants me to know so that he doesn't feel guilty about it
| Others |
supporter: I have a group with my elementary school friends.. we hang out in zoom because we all are spread out across the globe.. some times.. it;s fun as we can share a lot of memories..
seeker: That's great. I wish I had kept in touch with my friends from those days. I'm not really much for just socializing though. I like some kind of activity, like games.
supporter: Got you.. try to form a group on-line with the people you know.. at least until this CONVID thing is over..
seeker: Ok. Not really sure how to form a group. I want to reach out, but so many people are flaky. They makes plans then bail at the last minute.
supporter: For sure you would find someone.. if you keep looking..
seeker: Ok. Will do. I'll see what I can get done. Thanks for your help.
supporter: you welcome
seeker: Have a good day!
| Others |
supporter: There is a hard line between helping a friend who is addicted and actually enabling them. Have you ever heard of this?
seeker: Sadly my friend has been arrested a few times, spent time in prison, and is fully locked in his lifestyle. He's such a great person, very funny, nice, but he is lost
supporter: It can be very hard to watch a loved one destroy their lives. Has anyone every discussed an intervention?
seeker: He has alienated all of his friends, including me. I was the last one holding on
supporter: My husband and I actually have worked with recovering drug addicts and alcoholics. We are retired now, but still volunteer. Sometimes we have to let go of our loved ones - they have to hit rock bottom. Very hard to do, but unless they see their behavior as destructive, they don't want to change.
seeker: I agree, I'm afraid that's what I have to do. Another one of our mutual friends passed away recently to an overdose. I don't want to lose another friend.
supporter: Have you seen the serenity prayer? Knowing what to do, what not to do and accepting life really is a great thing to ask God for. We can't change others. Yet you have to find a way to have peace.
seeker: Yes. I know I have to let go. I've punished myself trying to stay in his life.
| Reflection of feelings |
seeker: Hello, I hope you can help.
supporter: Hi there! How can I help you today?
seeker: I am depressed and have zero motivation, especially at work.
supporter: I hear you. Is there a particular reason why you might feel this way?
seeker: I don't know. I just don't have any energy. Life just has too many problems. It is too much weight to carry.
supporter: Is it that your life is just getting so stressful and busy that work feels like the last straw? Correct me if I'm wrong.
seeker: I guess work itself isn't the problem. My job is a little boring, but not that bad. I think everything else in life is just too much. And it leaves me with no energy for anything else, like work.
supporter: Ah, I understand that feeling completely. It's totally normal given the current situation and even without the whole virus situation, life is just tough.
| Question |
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