Maximofn/GPT2-small-finetuned-Maximofn-short-jokes-dataset-casualLM
Text Generation
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232k
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1
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[me narrating a documentary about narrators] "I can't hear what they're saying cuz I'm talking"
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2
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Telling my daughter garlic is good for you. Good immune system and keeps pests away.Ticks, mosquitos, vampires... men.
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3
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I've been going through a really rough period at work this week It's my own fault for swapping my tampax for sand paper.
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4
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If I could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive... ...I would choose alive. -B.J. Novak-
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5
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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
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6
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Why can't Barbie get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box. Heyooooooo
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7
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Why was the musician arrested? He got in treble.
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8
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Did you hear about the guy who blew his entire lottery winnings on a limousine? He had nothing left to chauffeur it.
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9
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What do you do if a bird shits on your car? Don't ask her out again.
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10
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He was a real gentlemen and always opened the fridge door for me
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11
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Telling my daugthers date that "she has lice and its very contagious the closer you get to her." *Correct way to parent.
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12
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What should you do before criticizing Pac-Man? WAKA WAKA WAKA mile in his shoes
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13
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What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and an autonomous robot...? Nothing... they were both made to steal American jobs.
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14
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What do you call a barbarian you can't see? an Invisigoth.
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15
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How do you spell Canda? C,eh,N,eh,D,eh
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16
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You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?
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17
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What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say at the abortion clinic? Hasta last vista, baby.
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18
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My wife is in a bad mood. I think her boyfriend forgot their anniversary. Way to go, dude. Now we all suffer...
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19
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My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!
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20
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Thanksgiving joke What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving? Twerky! Just kidding... Drugs. She eats drugs. -Adam Zopf @adamzopf
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21
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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? 'Cause they are freaking good at it
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22
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How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
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23
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"That guy is such a douche-bag! Is he single? Maybe I can fix him!" women
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24
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My son just got a tattoo of a heart, a spade, a club, and a diamond, all without my permission. I guess I'll deal with him later.
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25
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What do you call a potato in space? Spudnik
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26
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How to get a cop's attention
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27
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What happens to a necrophiliac after death? Reserection
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28
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Why did the chicken hold a seance? To get to the other side.
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29
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Where do baby cows go to eat lunch? At the calf-eteria.
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30
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What's the difference between a painting and Jesus. You only require one nail to put up the painting.
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31
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Mom: "Do you want this?" Me: "No." Mom: "Ok I'll give it to your brother." Me: "No I want it."
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32
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How do you fit 4 gays on one barstool? Flip it over!
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33
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I am looking forward to 6pm Thanksgiving Day when Walmart opens its doors for its annual sale of trampled human corpses.
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34
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Yttrium-barium-copper oxide walks into a bar The bartender tells him, "We don't serve superconductors here." He leaves without resistance.
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35
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A guy pick up a woman Then he puts her down
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36
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Every night, I take all of the singles out of my wallet, spread them on the bed, and pretend I was pretty that day.
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37
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Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers? Math hue.
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38
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Ibuprofen is my favorite headache medicine that also sounds like a reggae professor.
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39
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Ted Cruz getting elected.
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40
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Before I destroy a wasp's nest I like to capture a single wasp and tell it my entire diabolical plan.
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41
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What's Al-Qaeda's favorite American football team? The New York jets.
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42
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INTERVIEWER: Why do you want to work here? ME: *crumbs tumbling from my mouth* Oh, I don't. I was just walking by and saw you had donuts.
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43
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Coming on valentines day. Fifty shades of grey. There won't be a dry seat in the cinema.
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44
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Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from prison? He's a small medium at large.
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45
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Someone didnt click the button in /r/thebutton Yeah... Thats a good joke , he impossible!
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46
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What's the difference between a car tyre, and 365 condoms? One's a Goodyear, an the other's a great year.
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47
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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.
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48
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I've struggled for years to be above the influence... But I've never been able to get that high
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49
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With Facebook, you can stay in touch with people you would otherwise never talk to, but that's only one of the many awful things about it
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50
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What's the difference between a blonde and a washer? When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week.
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51
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Have you ever heard of the movie "Constipation"? No? Most likely because it never came out.
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52
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What's black, blue and doesn't look too well? Stevie Wonder
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53
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I saw a French rifle on eBay today It's never been fired but I heard it was dropped once.
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54
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What did the car said to the valet? I've been through a lot.
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55
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Bill Clinton must be the luckiest man in the world. All of the sex he has, with Hillary, you know it's hate sex.
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56
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yeah girl.. shake that thing where poop comes out of. it really turns me on when your poop factory shakes faster than usual
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57
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"I can't stand when people say they hate both of the presidential candidates." --Stephen Hawking
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58
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A Mexican fireman had twin boys He named them Jose and Hose B
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59
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I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before!
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60
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Donald Trump will ban the sale of shredded cheese He wants to make America grate again
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61
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Things have really turned around for me since I re-named my penis and testicles "JD Power and Associates".
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62
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My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.
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63
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My cat just walked by me carrying a toy mouse I don't remember buying her. Women be shoppin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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64
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Why did the Xbox owner cross the road? To fuck your mom.
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65
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Sometimes you check the amount of subscribed people. When you do this, there are 4,111,093,0003.666 "humorists". 2/3rds of a person? Really?
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66
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I don't believe in Bigfoot; because he never believed in me. I'd scan the crowd at my ballet recitals, and always see that one empty seat.
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67
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What did the porn actress say when she opened the door? Make sure to come upstairs.
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68
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I don't judge people based on color, race, religion, sexuality, or gender...I base it on whether or not they're an asshole.
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69
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Why were the baker's hands brown? Because he kneaded a poo.
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70
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Not to get too technical, but chemistry says alcohol IS a solution. So I win.
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71
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I often think if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now.
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72
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I'm terrible at telling jokes... I always punch up the fuck lines
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73
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What did the hillbilly say to his sister after she asked him to have sex with her? If you incest.
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74
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"You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this" -Guy who invented shovels
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75
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How to keep the flies off the bride at an Italian wedding Keep a bucket of shit next to her
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76
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What do grandparents smell like? "Depends"
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77
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7% of all hearing loss is a result of sitting in a restaurant next to a table full of women who just received dessert.
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78
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What do people from the 1930's and /r/news jokes have in common? They're both old.
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79
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I like my slaves like I like my coffee Fair Trade.
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80
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ME: I fell off a 50 ft tall ladder once GIRL: holy cow how did you survive ME: I fell off the bottom rung
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81
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What do you call a blind dinosaur? A do-think-he-saurus :) !! Lol What do you call a blind dinosaurs dog? A do-you-think-he-saurus-rex
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82
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I just bought a very tiny amphibian for a pet. It's my-newt!
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83
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This may be not be a mainstream opinion, but I don't believe you should cut down a Christmas tree unless you intend on eating it.
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84
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Jenna Jameson to Oprah, "There's a little bit of Jenna Jameson in everyone." I'm pretty sure she got that backwards.
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85
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Even after 20 years, Jared Fogle is still getting into smaller and smaller jeans.
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86
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I have a degree in men's studies. It's called "world history". #TRUMP 2016! YOU CAN'T STUMP THE TRUMP!
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87
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Why don't most fans like the first 39 episodes of DBZ? Its pretty gay, just Saiyan.
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88
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My ex-wife still misses me... But her aim is gettin better.
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89
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This doctor once told me eating a bagel was like eating 5 slices of bread and I was like ok, cool, I like bread
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90
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What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant (Told to me by one of the kids at work)
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91
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What did the two tampons say to each other? Nothing, they're both stuck-up cunts.
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92
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What do you call Jay-Z having a leg transplant? A hip-hop hip op.
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93
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What defies the law of gravity? Women. They heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.
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94
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Everything has to be related in a woman: if the mouth shuts, the legs open.
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95
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Wanna hear a pun about long hair? Rapunzel.
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96
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"I'm so pissed I could punch a ba-" "A what?" Big Baby from Toy Story 3 hovers over me, sawed-off shotgun in hand. "A bagel. I HATE carbs."
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97
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What's the difference Donald Trump and my Vagina? One's a Cunt and the other has nice hair.
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98
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My doctor had to put me on a new medication that's supposed to help lower the amount of karate in my blood
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99
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[uses the restroom] Wife: make sure to put the toilet seat down Me: okay Me: [to toilet seat] you're worthless and nobody likes you
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100
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley? A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
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Dataset from amoudgl short-jokes-dataset