Datasets:

MihaiIonascu

/

dreadit-train

like 0

so i finally got tired of being anxious and depressed, crying daily, not leaving the house a few months ago and decided it was time to see a doctor again. I would only leave to work, and couldnt hold a job very long due to the anxiety(eventually stop going after successfully alienating myself from everyone) and went to see a psychiatrist. He started me on 40mg of fluoxetine and 50mg atenolol a day with 1mg lorazepam 3x daily as needed. I averaged about 2 of the lorazepam a day, some days 3 some days 1 or even 0, and 1 time i took 4(christmas with the family, not all at once but over the course of the evening) I went back after about 2 and a half months and he increased my atenolol to 100mg and switched me to .5mg alprazolam 1x a day(from the past i knew this wouldnt be an effective dose but he wouldnt listen) For the 2 and a half months i felt like i was leading a normal life, doing well in school, seeing friends again, working, going on dates(have a girlfriend who understands my anxiety and we met when i was drinking to deal with it so this is the worst shes ever seen me and wants me to find a new doctor) interacting with my family and not hiding in my room all day. With the switch to xanax ive gone back to my old ways of hiding away, crying, not eating, and have almsot purchased cigarettes again(quit smoking about 10 months ago).

My best friend died last year, of a rare type of bacteria that killed him very quickly, a contagious disease. He was a year younger than me. I am still relatively young but also starting to get old, my age is in between somewhere. I can feel the medicine starting to work and I am not as anxious now. I have been typing for over half an hour.

And I'll get an intense feeling of impending doom. It lasts for less than a minute and then I'll fall back asleep. It usually happens during naps. I thought it was a seizure when it first happened. Has this happened to anyone else?

I am employed full time. I have money, but I am trying to put all my money (minus transit pass, medication, and toiletries) towards an accelerated debt re-payment plan and get debt free by spring so I can get a lease. I need affordable options. What are some healthy things I can eat that are cost effective when you don't have access to a fridge? I have a small locker at work.

So I've had PTSD a few years now, coming up on a decade as of December 2018, and in the last year or so I've undergone a lot of change, for the best. I figured since I've found these things to be very important in my fight against this, that I'd share them here. First thing first is to mention therapy. You've got to do it, and it's going to fucking hurt. Medication is also important if you need it.

I used to always feel I loved him more than he does with me, that was a common fight. And it turned out to be sickly true. I care so much for that man, I place myself in his shoes and feeling the pain he must be feeling being alone. I know this is sick of me, but how do I stop this?! I shouldn’t feel bad for what he did right?!

Willing to pay a slightly higher rate of interest if it means being able to place the order for my supplies. Links to my art and/or printing business and any other info available upon request. Thanks for your time and consideration! ​ (EDIT: Forgot to mention that I have both PayPal and Venmo)

I relate to a lot of the symptoms, but what happened to me wasn't "life threatening" it was more of a childhood trauma that has a lot to do with growing up in a chaotic home. My brothers tried to kill himself twice, (TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE) and that vision of him holding the knife to his throat or choking himself with a belt WILL NEVER GET OUT OF MY HEAD. hence the reason I'm typing this at two am. It's really bad today and I have gotten zero sleep since midnight of last night. I just can't shake those images out of my head EVER.

A LARGE portion of each of my check goes to making payments to this card but with the interest charges each month I budgeted and itll take me decades to pay it off and cost me thousands. I was in a tough spot, jobless, homeless, and had to rely on the card but now I need to find options on how to pay it off or get a lower interest rate. I have heard of those advertisements about taking out a personal loan with a lower rate and using that to pay off the card then just paying the personal loan off, are those viable options? What is my best option right now, these interest rate charges are killing me and I can barely make ends meet. Any advice would be deeply appreciated

We will provide links to treatment resources throughout the study. 7. This study will include only participants who are 18 years and older. Please send us a private message if you are interested in participating. Once you contact us, we will send you a link to the screening questionnaire to see if you qualify and to tell you more about the study.

Hi r/anxiety, So lately my anxiety/hypochondria has been through the roof. I convince myself that I have all of these symptoms and then my body actually feels like it produces them. I never know when something is actually wrong. Lately since my anxiety has gotten so bad I have begun biting my nails even worse than usual, picking my toe nails and picking any form of acne on my face or body.

They took me to a Bar and bought me a beer.. ‘Tonight you sleep here’, miming sleep and pointing at a long wooden table. So night 1 was in a bar. And so it went, I’d arrive in some village at night and just be sitting on a curb waiting for some opportunity to arise when people would retire and I could sleep rough. Almost every second night, I seemed to be engaged by some local who would take me home: to sleep in a heavenly bed, to sleep in a barn, to sleep on a floor.. whatever, I was inside and it cost my small purse nothing.

We haven't been able to afford haircuts or anything like that for a while, so my long, wavy hair is pretty 'nest' like and the idea of family photos is just about enough to tip my anxiety over the edge. I really can't thank you all enough. Even if you can't help at this time, just reading what I wrote and keeping us in your thoughts means so much. I make it a point to send some of my artwork to anyone that ends up helping out. (Let me know if I'm not allowed to write this part and I'll take it out.)

How do I change the way I'm thinking about this so I can understand I shouldn't be catching feelings despite having sex with her? Which admittedly, I have been catching some feelings for her. But I want this to continue since I enjoy her company and we vibe well together. --- **tl;dr**: I met this cool girl that I might have feelings for but she told me she has no current intention to date, so we're really just FWB that hangout.

Etc etc etc. ". My brain takes this one little choice -should I go back in the water- and blows it up so big that I spend 20 minutes trying to figure out what I should do, and I end up frozen unable to make ANY decision. Does this happen to anyone else? How do you deal with this?

<url> Hello, I'm a 34 year old Transgender woman trying to survive in Montana of all places. I not only have to fight gender dysphoria but also try to stay strong living in a community in which many openly hate people like me. I am trying to reach my goal of Facial Feminization Surgery, as well as Gender Confirmation Surgery (Bottom surgery) and Breast Augmentation with the first two being my main goals by far. I feel intense pressure to get these things done as soon as possible.

How do I decide? I clicked with one guy, but he does talk therapy, doesn't really have a specific method like EMDR or CBT. There are many who use specific methods, and most didn't click, or had approaches I feel iffy about. Ultimately I think I just have to accept that no therapist will make this problem of living with CPTSD go away, and this is something I'll have to learn to live with. What tips do you have for picking therapists, or about therapy in general?

A nasty one. Once it cleared up in a while I decided to take his advice and find a ride to brunswick. I asked around and the last person I asked said he was headed that way and I could join him and his wife, provided I showed some ID, I look younger than I am, so he assumed I was a runaway. When I rode to Brunswick he preached to me about God and told me he was from Florida. Another storm approached.

I got out of an abusive relationship about three years ago. I had awful things happen to me before it, but it really was the absolute rock bottom. The man strangled me unconscious and beat me, and I wound up sleeping with a knife under my pillow, and then sleeping on the streets, constantly checking over my shoulder. But I got inpatient therapy and a network of supportive friends and I was all clear, and no contact with the guy whatsoever. I had a couple of nice flings, but after that I guess what I did was work on being alone and happy with it.

My problem is, if I'm going to date anyone, they have to be aware that I struggle with PTSD and willing to at least be there for me when I need. I don't need coddling or protecting, I just need someone to hold my hand and let me cry it out, or help me through a flashback. I need someone who can *be* present and emotional, and someone I can feel comfortable having a conversation with about it. Everytime I have had a breakdown, and try to express things from the past, he audibly growls and talks about how pissed he is that it happened. He talks about what he'd do to my abusers if he ever found them.

I don't know. Pretty sure. But my nose is stuffy from this stupid cold so it'd make sense that I'm having a hard time breathing from it. But I'm also having a hard time breathing through my mouth. I can't find my vapor rub anywhere, which is annoying the crap out of me because I feel like it'd help a little (the mintiness from brushing my teeth helped a tiny bit).

I'm 35,husband 37 I always thought it would be ideal to have two kids.. My husband was on board with the idea hypothetically but now that it's actually the time to execute he is totally opposed to the idea His reasons are 1) He feels we can't afford it...He earns pretty well but I don't at the time. So we won't be able to actually build up a major college fund for her---- I feel that she can always take a loan later but she really can't loan a sibling.

It did still worry me a little though. Then last night, I rushed to a doctor because I was getting severe chest pains and my heart was beating so fast. And today I've just been getting so many of my old symptoms back. Trouble breathing, choking sensations, weird body aches...you name it. I can't help but feel I've somehow taken two steps backward after doing so well.

“Yeah I saw, I think he out to steal.” “That’s what I think, keep an eye out man this place ain’t bad but you gotta watch yourself.” *nods* Then I fell asleep. And woke up to a stolen charger.

I clean the living room everyday. I take care of the kids, dinner, homework, put to bed, wash all the bottle stuff at night. I try to make our bed everyday, but have been slacking on that lately. I clean our room (although not nearly as often as I should), I take out garbage, I wash the counters and oven. I ask him to do the kitchen, which sometimes takes days for him to get to.

Unfortunately, it also affects pretty much everything in my life, including working memory and everyday events. It didn't happen daily or even weekly, but I was always afraid that I might say or do something that can trigger it, so I always kept quiet and didn't say much, and I guess that's why my language did not develop properly either. The neuropsychologist I saw offered me books to read to learn more about my condition but did not give any other treatment options because the cause of my disorder was unknown. I was wondering if maybe now that I know why I most likely struggle with memory, I can go back to get more solid treatment options? If so, who should I see for help?

I have replaced my bank card and everything else is canceled, but still haven't went to get a replacement license (another expense I don't really want to think of right now), so I am unable to get one of those free government phones. I am more than willing to repay you in any payment plan you come up with and I can put repayment to you as my second to top priority (I really need some new socks - they get priority, trust me on this, they took my socks and I'm on day 3). Anyway PM of you have any questions. I would be able to take PayPal, Cash App (I no longer have the card but can transfer to bank), a Kroger/Fry's egiftcard or an old T-Mobile phone / unlocked one if someone is local (around <location> ) and wants to meet up even after hearing about my socks. I do have a police report number if anyone needed to verify.

I'm 24 and have massive amounts of stress going on with job hunting. I live with parents who are constantly on my back and getting angry with me for not having a job. They keep trying to help me by saying "oh this place is hiring and that place is hiring again." I have tried all places where I live and every time I don't get an interview let alone hired. Even if they have a sign up that they are hiring, they tell me "sorry we're not hiring right now."

I'm in need of quick assistance to make a purchase at a store next door to my condo. I planned on splitting an items cost across two cards and paid $3.40 on one card and went to put the rest $1.60 on my other card which shows it has the balance and more available but is declining for some reason. I would appreciate it if someone sent me $1.60 via google wallet, as it should transfer over within minutes allowing me to make my purchase. And in return/or before, I will send you $1.60 via bitcoin. At the current rate bitcoin is going, that amount should continue to increase in value.

So he leaned in and kissed me with tongue. I was embarrassed because that was my first kiss. Then the next time I saw him he stuck his fingers in me even though I said no and unzipped his pants. I kicked him off of me and rode my bike all the way home with blood running down my legs. I didn't tell my dad because I was afraid he would beat me.

I was talking to my counselor today about my anxiety disorder, and he suggested to me that I try to reframe my anxiety as excitement, as they cause the same adrenal response. He suggested I view this adrenal response as simply “emotional arousal to something something novel.” This conversation caused me to have the revelation that for at least the past 5 years, I haven’t been able to experience anything “exciting” as something other than anxiety inducing. Things like first dates, roller coasters, etc. are all miserable for me because of my heightened nervous response.

I was freaking out. I stood on my back porch for about 30 minutes hyperventilating before I could convince myself that "I am in control!" I was embarrassing ! I couldn't believe that I allowed myself to get so worked up. But it was not as embarrassing as It/ I would soon be.....

I've been trying multiple medications for 20 years and I have literally tried them all. The highest doses possible of insomnia medication can't even put me to sleep. Multiple psychiatrist and even my pharmacist are stumped. Every SSRI, SNRI, tricyclic, beta blockers, benzos, group therapy, sleep studies, MRIs, blood work, CBT, EMDR, talk therapy, group therapy, art therapy, psychiatric hospitals, wilderness retreats, traveling, moved 6 times, I've been to college 3 times(no degree), have over 20 different jobs. It's like my brain is bound and determined to make me suffer.

Eventually I reported the texts, as they kept coming, and I recieved verbal backlash from his friends for doing it (I live in a small community, running into him or his buddies all the time). Then, radio silence. I felt minor relief every day I didn't hear from him, or his friends. After his second appearance in court, he pled not guilty to charges of uttering threats and assault. I was shocked.

I don't think I ever want to go back over there. I don't think I want to involve myself in all this, and I don't know if I can handle the responsibility of being friends with my friend anymore. I can't even call her out on her behavior or how she treats her boyfriend because to her, it's all HIS fault and it's his fault every single time. I've tried and tried and TRIED to encourage her to get help, more help than she's getting. I've tried to encourage her to try to go inpatient for awhile.

Yes, you should! And we planned for that. Because the data is stored in an encrypted Google Firebase server, you can download the app again and use their same username and password to retrieve their plan. So if you go to Walmart to get a burner phone (or when we provide one, in some cases), you can install it on that device as well. Here's the [iOS <url>

He has since gained back about three pounds, but he is still a far shot from what he used to be. He's going into the procedure tomorrow. The total cost is 1150 dollars, and to be honest, I'm a poor college student. The procedure will be put on a credit card, and I probably won't be paying it off for a long time. Blackie has been my cat for the last ten years, and without this treatment there is a good chance he will not make it past summer.

Both of these were poor choices. It just exacerbated the situation. I had vases, game controllers, tv remote, coffee mugs, etc thrown at me on varied encounters. This is not an exaggerated list.. I tried to leave and she blocked the door with her body, threatening to kill herself on one such occassion.

It’s like hes expecting my tummy is spilling over my jeans like a muffin(it’s not) I’m still a size small instead of an Xsmall like I used to be when 14 but that’s pretty fucking normal I reckon.its like god help me if I’m a medium right? Today I lashed out at him by saying omg dad it’s cuz I’m wearing these pants today ( the pants which are wide, loos high waisted and make ass look bigger), instead of skinny jeans so I obv gained like 10 pounds or tonnes of kilos or whatever overnight. Later on he said “it’s so easy to make you mad you shouldn’t react that way just cus you don’t think you’re fat” this made me think that he is doing this to get a rise out of me which isn’t cool for 55 yo dad or you know an adult. Or another reason is probably cuz he is getting older and living a sedentary lifestyle, it’s the holiday season and he put on weight he’s not doing anything about it and he’s taking it out on me, he’s a bit chubby but not like overly flabby it’s just most shirts don’t fit anymore. Anyway this part isn’t relevant to my relationship but I’d like to share anyway.

**As some of you may have experienced; a potential symptom of anxiety is Depersonalisation/Derealisation; a sensation of losing control that has generated the greatest terror I have ever experienced. All of the notions I mention here are applicable to X anxiety but I use DPDR as the focus of my anxiety and the insights/reflections I have come to. ** I have had OCD, a fear of uncertainty, a desire for control and "normality"/constancy since around 12 years old. A.K.A: Anxiety.

And it only took me three doctors telling me this over the span of 10+ years for me to believe it. Given all the crazy symptoms I've had, and that I really trust and like my current doc, I'm willing to believe it. So here I am looking at a bottle of Escitalopram (5mg, Lexapro generic) thinking "so... it's come to this". I've always been a shy one, but I thought I could handle anxiety on my own. However, 3 years ago I hit a giant anxiety wall (not knowing that's what it was).

I didn't phone a crisis line again, it was daylight by this point so I phoned the therapist. She talked me down for an hour, and got me to agree to go into my social workers office since I still couldn't calm down. She gave me a free appointment the next day. But when I went to it, though sympathetic, she made it clear I had to commit to stop drinking if we were going to get any meaningful work done. She said she wouldn't abandon me, she would sit with me, but that she couldn't "be" with me, affected as I was by the alcohol.

I'm doing an article for a Mental Health Blog and I really want to write about people's stories on the importance on opening up/going to seek help from a professional. I would love to hear your experiences, why you went/started opening up, what you have learned, and how it has impacted your life! Of course everything you write will be anonymous on my post (I can even give you a pseudo name if you would like, just let me know)! Feel free to comment down below or message me if you want to be more private, thanks! :)

There's a TL;DR at the bottom for those who wanna get to the point this gets kinda lengthy. Hi, I'm 19 and this is my first time posting here and I'm hoping at least one person can relate. Before a few months ago I never had to deal with anxiety really, but out of nowhere it hit me like a truck. I guess what's been causing it is relationship issues, but mostly health anxiety. My first major mistake was googling symptoms I started having, not realizing that it was normal for anxiety to cause physical symptoms.

I'm trying to improve my Hebrew and I would really like to be able to pray while at home on Shabbat and Festivals. I live very far from the nearest Jewish community and it's very difficult to learn and become more observant on my own. Due to financial restrictions I have been unable to purchase my own Siddur. Wishlist link below but of course, if you have your own Siddur you would like to donate that's great too! <url>

It was the same therapist I'd been seeing since I was little, when I was first diagnosed as ASD (at the time termed PDD-NOS, as I didn't *quite* fit the diagnostic requirements for Aspergers), and she, had honestly stopped being helpful. Just kept telling me to do the same things over and over, when I told her these solutions either didn't work, or in some cases (going out for a walk for the sake of it, rather than with an intended destination/goal, for instance) made things worse. Because if my mind's left to wander, without something to focus on, something to distract myself, it starts tearing itself apart, ripping open old wounds and rubbing salt in them; reminding me of all the shit I've screwed up in the past, ways I've failed or fallen short, and I end up worse off than when I started. So, I eventually stopped going. And then, eventually stopped taking my meds, mostly because of not having the money to afford them when my father walked out, and the house practically started falling down around our ears over a course of a couple years; the heating just before winter because we couldn't afford oil, then losing water due to burst pipes, then the gas and finally electricity due to nonpayment.

My heart races and palpitates. I've gone on autopilot, but I've never experienced anything like an out of body experience. When this intense part fades I just get stuck in my head for the rest of the day, exhausted. Has anyone experienced something like this? How do you cope when ain't nobody got time for that?

I won't defend myself, I know I shouldn't have raised my voice and I should have left much much earlier. I know who I am. That said.. Every day, I see a look that tells me a person I know loathes me. A thin veneer of social platitudes to cover a roiling hatred. I don't know what to write past this point.

When it's abuse in the workplace, it seems like everyone just says, "Oh, get over it, and don't be a baby. There's nothing wrong with you." I actually had one women tell me that my husband's behavior was 'completely normal' and that 'everyone acts like that' (I was floored. I don't know one other person who goes through shit like this at work or who acts like that - WTF?). They just want to brush it off, and no one gives a shit.

My question: how do I heal from this? As much as I wish there were a way to go back and fix my relationship with her, she deserves to heal from the damage I've done, and I have no right to ask for anything -- and so I won't. Lessons I've taken away: + I will **NEVER** do anything like this again. Too much pain for someone you love, and it's very hard to reconcile internally.

I'm posting this one more time for anyone that didn't see it. Our location is in central Louisiana. A co-worker recently gave birth last week and her baby is in stable condition. She was initially told that her baby would have dwarfism and she was okay with that, as long as it was healthy. Later, they told her that her baby wouldn't survive at birth.

I was in my front yard talking to him on the phone, when I refused to hang-up she had a temper tantrum and screamed loudly enough for the people outside to hear her say I "got online and talked to little boys." Her father refuses to do anything about her or the other daughter or treats me just as bad. I try to stand up for myself, I mean I am their uncle after all, but they just yell, scream and call me names anyway. After about 6 years of this happening I've become a virtual prisoner in my own house. I stay in my bedroom all day, on the computer, making things to sell or doing art.

Hello. I am new here, but I thought I would share a a bit of my story. I came onto Reddit three months ago for the survivor subs. I have been in therapy five months, and it has helped a great deal. I never sought any help before, I had one bad experience with therapy a decade ago, and never went back, I didn't figure I was helpable.

I thought. I just lived with it. Until it wasn't fine. Five years later. I've moved a few times since college, found a therapist and decided that medication would again be a good choice for me.

What are you thankful for? For me: Today I'm feeling thankful for being alive. I'm very grateful for my family, our health, our safety, my jobs, my home. I have pain in my foot/leg from an injury I had surgery, as painful as it can be it has also made me grateful for being able to walk.

During a night he came barged into me and my mom's room and started hitting her. I was so confuse and in tears I didn't know what to do, but cry. I didn't get much sleep that night. The abuse continue on for 4 years. There was peaceful time I thought the abuse stopped.

I will not be sharing my credit details. Though hard, I will end my friendship with her. Might think about it if she apologizes but am not sure at this moment. I will cherish connections with more on my other friends who were super nice to let me know what's happening at home. It's really frustrating not being able to confront Jenna physically but as others mentioned, I hope others who've initially believed her will realize the truth.

She approached me and started to say something but I interrupted saying, “If this is about my phone, I am under no obligation to share with you anything that is spoken between me and a therapist, and I do not care that this is during work, I have an emergency number to call at any time when I feel like I have to, and I felt like this was important as I don’t want to go back to the psych ward.” She stopped and just said “oh, ok sorry.” I understand that this may be a negative on my performance at work, and I may not be entirely right, but I have cut myself at work (not during work but after shift and right outside at my car) and the way I was feeling I needed emergency counseling. I have tried to have a conversation with her before about how I was feeling, but it didn’t go so well since she felt like I was being rude, so while I am open to trying again, I want to know how I should go about it again and/or should I get the manager involved? Thank you for reading and I appreciate any and all responses.

The only person I live with is my husband. So basically she's trying to imply that I'm mad because my husband is abusing me (which he never has), not because I'm just sick of her shit. --- **tl;dr**: My alcoholic mother is a negative aspect of my life but she's guilting me into feeling sorry for her. I don't know what to do.

We clicked well, we chilled in, we went out, we laughed and got to know each other. She was a daily texter type of person, good mornings and good nights and hearts often. Feb 12, while I was away during the week traveling for work, she texted me to say she liked me and to ask if I would go out with her (make it official, like bf/gf). I told her I liked her too but we should talk a bit more that weekend. Feb 15, she started a prescription for Zoloft, half dose to start.

I know the rules say no self-fundraising posts but I thought this might be an exception. This is all going to MAPS Canada, a non-profit who's current goal is legalizing MDMA-assisted therapy. I thought this sub would be interested in supporting! This is the same ORG that is legalizing MDMA-assisted psychotherapy in the States with promising results. Link to page: <url>

Most of the residents in San Andres are elderly farmers who depend on the bus to travel to the main market in Oaxaca to sell their produce. I am worried seeing the people depend on taxis who are known to scam farmers out of their hard-earned money. The Go Fund Me page is <url> And there is a Facebook page set up too: <url>

I can't be having PTSD from something as mild as what happened even though I have pretty much all the symptoms. I feel I'm just lying to myself. I probably just want attention. I feel like a huge fraud... How am I even supposed to "heal" when I'm probably making everything up, I'm probably not broken, I'm just going to get yelled at again at the new therapy place like my last one because I'll be mute every session (don't even know why, I tell myself "because I'm not ready to talk about it" but it's been over 5 years since the last case and all this crap is minor, so it's probably just being ashamed over doing all this crap for god-knows-why when barely anything happened to me...), because "I'm not trying". I don't even know why I'm posting this, probably just begging for more attention, I've pushed the last true friend I had away a few days ago over my fears of therapy.

I started noticing her internet behavior more over the past few months and it's been kind of bothering me. My girlfriend is a very intelligent and mature person, but when she gets online it's like she acts totally different. For one, she sends me screencaps of her "trolling" people. I mean, trolling? She's almost 30.

Thing is, after we broke up we had sex a few times in August and September and as far as I'm aware she has slept with at least one other guy in this period too. The real question is what do i do now? I want to tell the guy about this, and wish someone would've done the same to me 2 years ago. But at the same time I'm one of her exes, is it really my fight to take? tl;dr: Ex probably cheated on her new boyfriend with me, should i tell him or just stay out of it?

I used to take sleeping pills that had a bit of anti anxiety medicine in them but my pcp drug tested me and because I had been found to have been smoking weed , ( for my ptsd ), it was either stop coming their for the sleeping pills or weed. I chose weed mostly because I was pissed they drug tested me for one but also weed seems to do the best for me. Now im regretting that decision. I guess I need a new pcp huh? Anyway its a reddit until I dont feel like a deer in headlights kind of night so whoopee.

<url> <url> I am willing to answer any questions and show proof. * Edit, the candies are because after 20++ years he finally stopped smoking and it helps the cravings. The apple juice helps him take his medication.

I'm leaning more toward not responding but I haven't been able to let it go. I'm not sure what she even wanted, other than to talk to me before make a big decision for and her kids. I got a message pleading for a conversation, no explanation as to what. She apologized and stated that she wasn't trying to cause problems. She said he was in prison for something that happened a long time ago (looks like he was on felony probation and did something to get it revoked), sent pictures of her children, who are all one year older than the children him and I share, and told me his mother had passed.

Or, if you would like further information, please message me. For your participation, you may choose to enter a raffle to win one of eight $25.00 <url> gift cards.

Hi everyone, Sorry to ask but today is my Mum’s birthday. This is the first month in ~6 where I haven’t been paid early, so until tomorrow I have no money. The issue is it’s my mum’s birth today, and she always wants a cake, but I am unable to give her one this year. A nice cake from my local supermarket is £10, and I will be paid by work tomorrow so I can repay you soon.

Every minor detail feels just so overwhelming that I feel suffocated and panicky all the time. I imagine others here have gone through something similar, so I wanted to ask about your experience with grad school applications. How did you survive? How did you preserve your mental health, and do the best that you could? Thanks so much.

When I ask him why he’s done this he says “Shut the fuck up.” He also “talks down” to me in bed, calling me slut, pig, and stupid. I am NOT into this and I never told him I was. When I am giving him fellatio he pushes my head down even when I am resisting and I choke. He has also pulled my hair, hit me and punched me.

I feel like I've taken a giant step back. I'll address this in my next counseling session, but does anyone know if this sort of reaction is common during a recovery process? TL/DR: Abusive relationship led to a violated protection order. The subsequent criminal trial has made me question my emotional stability, and memories. Are the symptoms of CPTSD causing me to fail in my interactions on a day to day basis, or has there simply been a bizarre miscommunication?

Normally, my anxiety is very well controlled. I meditate every morning for \~15 minutes and have been in therapy for the better part of the last 3 or 4 years. I feel WAY better than I used to, and on a day to day basis things are great. Buttt every once in a while (A handful of times a year, tops) something will realllly set me over the edge, and send me into an intense anxiety spiral where I compulsively ask 5 or so different friends for advice on what to do, post a lot of threads online about what I should do, and ruminate on the topic for days or weeks. Sometimes I'll have chats in messenger about whatever it is that will draw out over an entire 3-4 hour period.

It was all so quick and I try and recall now what happened and my brain jumbles up the details but he finally realized what he was doing to me and stopped. I am a small girl with a very thin build at 5'8 and 125 to 130 pounds maximum and he is a big guy at 6'5 and and 265 pounds and I had no chance of getting him to stop. He started immediately after hysterically crying because I started to hysterically cry and started to feel like I couldn't breath. He spent most of the night afterhysterically crying telling me he can't live with himself after this and how he would never put his hands on a woman but something in him just snapped but I don't know how to forgive him or let it go. I'm still so shocked by what happened I have managed to stop crying and calm down but I don't know how to move on from here.

I really don’t know what to do about this, and I’m wondering if I’m even able to get over this fear. A traumatic experience compounded it in me as a kid, and I’ve been experiencing it for so long that it feels like second nature. It’s lkkely so ingrained with me that therapy won’t do much good. I need some help. If anyone can offer some, feel free.

And I'm feeling continuously happy for the first time in a long time. But I'm pretty sure it seems crazy to anyone watching. In short: Has anyone recovered from trauma and felt this way? Has anyone developed schizophrenia or a bipolar disorder and felt this way? Is it okay to accept this?

I’m just wondering how many of you have A LOT of triggers? I was abused extremely horribly as a teenager and into adulthood and I have horrible ptsd from it. I literally get triggered by everything and anything. Like someone could sneeze and it would sound similar to him and I’d freak. I freak out horribly about everything and the littlest things.

I’m noticing a pattern where my body is like rejecting my partner and I’m concerned it might be caused by my abuse at an early age. Should I seek counseling? But I’m afraid if I do I’m going to have to talk more about what happened and I’m going to break. I’ve talked to therapist before but whenever the topic of the abuse arises I tense up and can’t remember anything. I’m sorry if I’m rambling on it’s just a hard subject for me to talk about and I don’t know how to put into words the emotions I feel towards these events.

I am really feeling like there are no good men. They are all just horrible to women. I think I would rather be alone than deal with any man again. Has anyone else felt like this? Did your feelings ever change?

Back in November of 2015, my Junior year of college, I was a hermit socially but had many great and supportive friends (funnily enough were 90% women). However, I was lonely as hell, had never dated, and it was driving me mad and depressing me. I didn't let it show though, except to one or two friends who knew me very well. In the month of november I started hanging out with an organic chemistry study group. Two particular women were part of this group.

He was furious I'd 'kept' that from him. I had considered doing cam modelling though had never gone through with it (again before we even met) . He accused me of lying and keeping things from him. On top of that, he still expected sex all the time. I still liked it, but I was so stressed from the move and from the constant crying and fighting that my libido was down.

· Did your parent/parents not provide healthy meals or enough daily exercise or activities? · Why didn’t you change the habits when you became of age? · Do you cook? · Are you too busy? · Have you made a daily planner of your day to be able to notice where you have an opportunity to be able to prep meals and cook more?

I’ve been leaving lights on at night both in the main rooms and my bedroom. The fear is both physical and emotional. I’m so jumpy at work and at home. I feel like I’m seeing things everywhere and little waves of panic wash through me all day. I’m really just finding this incredibly difficult right now and needed to write it out I guess.

the only thing I ever want is just to be in his arms. Basically, terrifies me back into his arms every fucking time. We'll say I love you, he'll hold me so tight. He's so warm, I'm craving soo bad to be in his arms rn tbh. I don't wanna go to sleep knowing hes not going to be in bed with me.

I just got an email to schedule an interview for a job. I haven’t heard from the lady a few days after thinking it would take her a few days to figure a time for me to come in and email back. Nope she CALLED ME on the home phone instead today. First off I didn’t know because the caller ID said cellular call and usually I don’t answer those calls because their scams. I later looked up the number I have an app that tells if it’s a scam number, what business it is, landline etc.

He was born addicted to several different drugs. He has ADHD and ODD I have a 9 year old. He has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, Aspergers, and severe anxiety and OCD. And I have an 8 year old.

The vet went ahead and removed it but the cost was over $4000. She has a gofundme to try to raise some bucks to pay for the surgery so I thought I'd post it here to see if anyone could help. Danika is the direct beneficiary and every dime will be going to her directly, not through any middlemen. Here is the gofundme link: <url> Thanks again everyone, any little bit helps.

This post was spurred by the fact that I was just scrolling through photos I took of my boyfriend last year and I found myself thinking, "is this person actually my boyfriend?" I don't mean that in a sappy "how did I get so lucky" way (although I did luck out with him, for sure) but more in a "how do I see this person all the time and still feel like I don't recognize him in photos" way. We've been together for over five years. It just... it doesn't make any sense. Normally I only do this with people from high school, many of whom I haven't seen since we graduated six years ago.

I have been either an emt or a paramedic for the past 9 years. I have been a part of way more than I wanted to be, I cant help but see all the god damned faces. I cannot work because I tried to protect my girlfriend and property from a threat, ended up being someone shooting off fireworks... i have been shot at enough and held it in. I just cant. im tired, I want to give up.

TL;DR: I wish to ask out my longtime friend this Valentines, but I am afraid of my past coming back and ruining my renewed trust with both her and my friends that I’ve worked years to repair. Note, what I am not scared of is rejection, I am scared of being feared or hated once again. How I most easily do away with the stigma revolving around my past so that I can be judged by who I am now instead of who I was in the past? That’s what is keeping me up at night. I look forward to what the community has to say.

Long story short my family in NE Ohio is abusive as hell so I had to leave the state and stay with family down south. It isn't working out and they're sending me packing to Ohio because I guess I'm a financial problem even though I got a job here. I have nowhere I can stay. I'm even getting rid of my beloved cat so I can have options. I can't go back to my family in Ohio.

Well maybe afraid isn't the best word, but it's not far off. I'm not worried they can physically harm me or anything, nor do I even hate kids, most kids I actually like, but certain kids, like uncle's girlfriend's one kids, make me uncomfortable and make my anxiety go off badly. He's like 6 or something like that, but he is disrespectful to me, and harasses me when I'm around. He'll make smart ass remarks which although typical small child insults, get to me, not because they hurt my feelings so much, but it gets to me that I'm so pathetic, I can't even demand respect from a fucking child. Today, playing some backyard cricket with my brother and other cousin (a very respectful kid who I love), he asks if he can peg the ball at my groin, to which I obviously say no, so what does he do?

Hi all! I run a general mental health peer support chatroom on Discord for people 18\+. At over 2500 members, we still maintain a close community\-oriented atmosphere with rules in place and moderators present at all times. Most diagnoses, except those relating to the endangerment of children, are welcome. This is a first person group, so you need to be the person with a disorder to participate.

So now they are querying whether he has a traumatic brain injury suffered a year before we got together and that now he has progressing brain damage. At this point my nurse self kicks in, I can't not help someone in that situation. I feel sorry for him I don't want him to be hurt or alone. But I also want to hate him and leave. So my incredibly long winded question to you is this: if he has brain damage is this an excuse or a reason?

However, I can't kick the Lyme. None of the specialists who treat Chronic Lyme are covered by insurance (because it isn't recognized by the CDC), and I'm so broke I can't justify buying myself hot food not covered by Food Stamps, let alone seeing a doctor I'd have to pay out of pocket. I'm terribly afraid of getting spinal fusion while still being this saturated with Lyme Disease. Lyme Disease gets much worse if it gets in your spinal column and brain, and getting myself all cut up for surgery with Lyme in my system..... I'm afraid I'll get worse.

I want to start off by saying I love my in laws. They do a LOT for us and we are incredibly grateful for them. My MIL has always been around to babysit when I’ve needed to go to doctors appts, and seeing that she has MS (not severe), my SIL comes over to help play/do the lifting. My mil is capable of all of that, but she has a harder time. We have a history with my SIL.

The thought of helping people, curing diseases and caring for someone makes me happy. Imagine a person who’s an asshole but need help on health, I would help him/her. However, I need to finance med but I need to work on my current stature to get the money but this job makes me anxious to the point that I am having refluxes because of stress just the thought of working on it. The problem with me is I know I can do for the meantime this job but it was a mistaken path, I could have done dev since it involves little customer interaction. I felt helpless because I need the money but feels like I am fooling myself to work my ass up for something that is not my passion.

We're running out of things like dog food,toilet paper, feminine products and whatnot. Workers comp didn't send me my check this month, so I'm not able to afford the things we need and that is why I'm asking assistance. If anyone could help me with a small loan of $50 , we'd greatly appreciate it. I'm not sure when I could pay you back fully, but I could pay something back each month if that's okay. Thank you for your time!

Am I mentally ill? I want to kill myself but I'm to scared to even do that. I'm supposed to be starting college in the fall but I don't think that'll work out well. This entire post is probably gibberish but I haven't slept in almost 2 days and I can't think straight. I don't know what to do but I can't keep doing this.