instruction
stringclasses 1
value | input
stringclasses 43
values | output
stringlengths 150
1.98k
|
|---|---|---|
Write a joke about the following category | Business | A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page, trotted over to the manager, gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time it ran. By now, the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job." The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentence that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual". The dog looked at the manager calmly and said "Meow." |
Write a joke about the following category | Business | AMES, IA--The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by materials researchers at IPRT/ISU. The new element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons, and thus has an atomic weight of 0. However, it does have one neuron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of particles called morons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is totally inert. However, it can be detected chemically, since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. According to its discovers, a tiny amount of Administratium caused one reaction to take over four days to complete; the normal reaction time is less than one second. Administratium has a normal half life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Studies have shown that the atomic mass usually increases after each reorganization. Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points, such as governmental agencies, large corporations, and universities. It is always found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings. Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reactions where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising. |
Write a joke about the following category | Business | It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time. |
Write a joke about the following category | Business | The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in modern business and government, because of the heavy investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried with dead horses, including the following: |
Write a joke about the following category | Business | Are you overworked, under paid, over-regulated, under-leisured, and underbenefited? Take heart! Not only could it be worse, it has been. This notice was found in the ruins of a London office building. It was dated 1852: |
Write a joke about the following category | Business | FROM: OPERATIONS SUBJECT: Restroom Use Policy In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective immediately, a Restroom Trip Policy will be established to provide a more consistent method of accounting for each employee's restroom time and ensuring equal treatment of all employees. Under the policy a "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given twenty Restroom Trip Credits. These credits may be accumulated. Within four to six weeks, the entrance doors to all restrooms are being equipped with personal identification stations and computer-linked voice print recognition devices. Before the end of the month each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) to the Human Resources Department. The voice print recognition station will be operational but not restrictive during the entire month. Employees should acquaint themselves with the stations during that period. If the employee's Restroom Trip Bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the restrooms will not unlock for that employee's voice until the first of the next month. In addition, all restroom stalls are being equipped with timed paper roll retractors. If the stall is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty-seconds after the alarm sounds, the roll of paper will retract into the wall, the toilet will flush, and the stall door will open. If the stall remains occupied, your picture will be taken. The picture will then be posted on the bulletin board located in the Employee Relations Office. Anyone's picture showing up three times will immediately be terminated. If you have any questions about this policy, please ask your supervisor. They have all received advanced instructions. |
Write a joke about the following category | Business | To: All Employees Subject: Special High Intensity Training In order to assure that we continue to produce the highest quality work possible, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We are giving our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company in the country. If you feel you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your supervisor. You will be placed on top of his S.H.I.T. list for special attention. All of our supervisors are particularly qualified to see that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle at your own speed. If you consider yourself to be trained enough already, you may be interested in helping us train others. We can add you to our Basic Understanding Lecture List, Special High Intensity Training (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). If you have any further questions, please address them to our Head of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.). Thank you, Boss in General Special High Intensity Training (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.) PS. With the personality some of you display around here, you could easily become the Director of Intensity Programming, Special High Intensity Training. |
Write a joke about the following category | Business | Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees. |
Write a joke about the following category | Business | A business man was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, "What is two and two?" The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was "Twenty-two." The second applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001. The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in the case of Jenkins v Commr of Stamp Duties, two and two was proven to be four. The last applicant was an accountant. The business man asked him, "How much is two and two?" The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door and closed it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice...."How much do you want it to be?" He got the job. |
Write a joke about the following category | Bar Jokes | After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Señor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it. The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" The Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I." |
Write a joke about the following category | Bar Jokes | An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place. Then the Irishman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!" The others agree that sounds like a nice place. Then the Italian says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. Over in Brooklyn, there's this place, Vinny's. At Vinny's, you buy a drink, Vinny buys you a drink. You buy anudda drink, Vinny buys you anudda drink." Everyone agrees that sounds like a great bar. Then the Polish guy says, "You think that's great? Where I come from, there's this place, Warshowski's. At Warshowski's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!" "Wow!" said the other two. "That's fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?" "No," he replied, "but it happened to my sister!" |
Write a joke about the following category | Bar Jokes | My uncle had a beer gut that weighed two hundred pounds He used a wheelbarrow to haul it into town They treat him like a king when he walks into Woody's bar His beer gut pays for lights and heat and Woody's brand new car. Nudsie got a beer gut that gets bigger every year Since Nudsie gave up lifting weights and started hoisting beer He was lying on the beach one day, the bbq kept getting hotter Some save the whale freaks came and dragged him back into the water. Beer guts of America stand up if you can Stick out your big beer gut and hoist a cool one in your hand Your beer gut is your buddy, it's a friend who's always near And all you ever have to do is feed it lots of beer Mungo drank a pony keg at Droopy Aho's wedding His eyes went rolling round and round and then he started sweating He tripped on Duck and Fuzz 'cause they were passed out on the floor He landed on his beer gut and he bounced right out the door I took my date into the sauna and on the bench we sat She pointed and she said "I've never seen one big as that." She held it and she stroked it and she told me with a smile, "Body builders make me sick, but beer guts drive me wild." Beer guts of America stand up if you can Stick out your big beer gut and hoist a cool one in your hand Your beer gut is your buddy, it's a friend who's always near And all you ever have to do is feed it lots of beer. |
Write a joke about the following category | Bar Jokes | I watched an ant climb a blade of grass this morning. When he reached the top, his weight bent the blade down to the ground. Then, twisting his thorax with insectile precision, he grabbed hold of the next blade. In this manner, He traveled across the lawn, covering as much distance vertically as he did horizontally, which amused and delighted me. And then, all at once, I had what is sometimes called an "epiphany", a moment of heightened awareness in which everything becomes clear. Yes, hunched over that ant on my hands and knees, I suddenly knew what I had to do... Quit drinking before noon. |
Write a joke about the following category | Police Jokes | Her car was speeding along Interstate 80 at well over 80 miles an hour when it passed by a State Trooper's position... Obviously, the officer was compelled to pull the young female driver over and he asked to see her license. After looking it over, he said to her, "It stipulates here on your license that you should be wearing glasses." "Well, I have contacts," the woman replied. "Look lady, I don't care who you know," snapped the officer. "You're getting a ticket." |
Write a joke about the following category | Police Jokes | A man has too much to drink at a party. His friends offer to drive him home, but the says no--he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from the party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a call for a robbery taking place in a house just a block away. The police tell him to stay put; they will be right back - and they run down the street to the robbery. After a few minutes, the man decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later, the police knock on the door. They ask if a Mr. X lives there, and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door--where they find the police car, lights still flashing. |
Write a joke about the following category | Police Jokes | The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him if he wanted something specific for his last meal, he didn't want anything special. When they asked if there was something special he wanted to do, he said nothing. It went on like this all day. Finally when he was put before the firing squad, the guard asked if he wanted a cigarette and a blindfold. "No," the inmate said, "just get it over with." "Well, is there anything that I can do for you before you go?" said the guard. "You didn't even want a special last meal!" The inmate thought. "Actually," he said, "Music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions." The guard nodded and told him to go ahead. The inmate started, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall..." |
Write a joke about the following category | Police Jokes | A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says, "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The Mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Señor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself--I'm going to make it hard for him--and says, "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use three English words in a sentence." The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The three words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in one sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about two minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green--I Pink it up, and sez Yellow?" |
Write a joke about the following category | Police Jokes | Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Canada, I was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother's delicious chocolate chip cookies and proceeded on my way. Later, I was stopped by another trooper. "What have I done?" I asked. "Nothing," the trooper said, smiling. "I heard you were passing out great chocolate chip cookies." |
Write a joke about the following category | Police Jokes | A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death." "Well, then we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar." "Alright, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm drunk." |
Write a joke about the following category | Police Jokes | A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: "May I see your driver's license?" Driver: "I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI." Officer: "May I see the registration for this vehicle?" Driver: "It's not my car. I stole it." Officer: "The car is stolen?" Driver: "That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there." Officer: "There's a gun in the glove box?" Driver: "Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk." Officer: "There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?" Driver: "Yes, sir." |
Write a joke about the following category | Police Jokes | According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes," committed by young male repeat offenders who apparently don't know the first thing about their business. This information was included in an interesting, amusing article titled "How Not to Rob a Bank," by Tim Clark, which appeared in the 1987 edition of The Old Farmers Almanac. Clark reported that in spite of the widespread use of surveillance cameras, 76 percent of bank robbers use no disguise, 86 percent never study the bank before robbing it, and 95 percent make no long-range plans for concealing the loot. Thus, he offered this advice to would-be bank robbers, along with examples of what can happen if the rules aren't followed: |
Write a joke about the following category | Police Jokes | A dyslexic cop is severely reprimanded by his captain because the spelling on his police reports is incomprehensible. "How can you expect anyone to read this! If you file just one more report with any and I mean *ANY* words misspelled, you are going on report!" screams the captain. |
Write a joke about the following category | Police Jokes | A fellow tries to cross the Mexican border on a bicycle with two big bags balanced on his shoulders. The guard asks, "What's in the bags?" The fellow says, "SAND!" The guard wants to examine them. The fellow gets off the bike, places the bags on the ground, opens them up, and the guard inspects... only to find sand. The fellow packs the sand, places the bags on his shoulders, and pedals the bike across the border. Two weeks later, the same situation is repeated... "What have you got there?" "Sand." "Let me see it." Same results... Nothing but sand and the fellow is on his way again. Every two weeks for six months the inspections continue. Finally, one week the fellow didn't show up. However, the guard sees him downtown and says to the fellow, "Buddy, you had us crazy. We sort of knew you were smuggling something. I won't say anything... What were you smuggling?" The fellow replies, "Bicycles." |
Write a joke about the following category | Police Jokes | An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was stopped by a state trooper. "You were speeding," the cop said. "I'm going to have to give you a ticket." "Yep," the farmer said as he watched the trooper shoo away several flies. "These flies sure are terrible," the trooper complained. "Yep," the farmer said. "Them are circle flies." "What's a circle fly?" "Them flies that circle a horse's tail," answered the farmer. "Them are circle flies." "You wouldn't be calling me a horse's rear, would you?" the trooper angrily asked. "Nope, I didn't," the farmer replied. "But you just can't fool them flies." |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally he look serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock. The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said. "It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling." |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away." Another said "Yeah, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away." The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church... Haven't seen one back since!!!" |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | Brother John entered the 'Monastery of Silence' and the Abbott said, "Brother, this is a silent monastery, you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so." Brother John lived in the monastery for a full year before the Abbott said to him: "Brother John, you have been here a year now, you may speak two words." Brother John said, "Hard Bed." "I'm sorry to hear that," the Abbott said. "We will get you a better bed." The next year, Brother John was called by the Abbott. "You may say another two words Brother John." "Cold Food." said Brother John, and the Abbott assured him that the food would be better in the future. On his third anniversary at the monastery, the Abbott again called Brother John into his office. "Two words you may say today." "I quit." said Brother John. "It is probably best." said the Abbott. "All you have done since you got here is complain." |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with a pet dog he doted on. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, the dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the creature?" Father Patrick replied, "No, we cannot have services for an animal in the church, but there's a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they'll do something for the animal." Muldoon said "I'll go right now. Do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Patrick asked, "Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?" |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven ... don't step on the ducks." So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along come St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same punishment as the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, tan, muscular, and with good hair. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" And the guy says, "Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck." |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute." |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heavens gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sits for a couple of months and begin to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work out?", they wonder, "Are we stuck together forever?" St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple. "Jeez!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it's going to take for me to find a lawyer!?" |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy," she said, "can we leave now?" "No," her mother replied. "Well, I think I'm gonna be sick, Momma!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and then behind a bush." After about 60 seconds the little girl returned to her seat. "Were you sick?" her mom asked. "Yes." "How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the Sick.'" |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | In the Beginning God created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was faced with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was stymied with the cease and desist order for the earthly part. Appearing at the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in the first place. He replied that he just liked to be creative. Then God said, "Let there be light", and immediately the officials demanded to know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming that no smoke would result from the ball of fire: that he would obtain a building permit; and to conserve energy, would have the light out half the time. God agreed and said he would call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night". Officials replied that they were not interested in semantics. God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as many seed". The EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. Then God said, "Let waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may fly over the earth". Officials pointed out this would require approval from the Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and the Audubongelic Society. Everything was fine until God said he wanted to complete the project in Six days. Officials said it would take at least 200 days to review the application and impact statement. After that there would be a public hearing. Then there would be 10-12 months before... At this point God created Hell. |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | The minister, all fired up because of recent obvious problems of infidelity, shouted out, "I want everyone who has been he-ing and she-ing to stand up!" Half of his congregation stood up. He then shouted out, "I want everyone who has been he-ing and he-ing to stand up!" A couple of men stood up. He then shouted out, "I want everyone who has been she-ing and she-ing to stand up!" Several women stood up. The minister looked over his congregation and noticed that everyone was standing except Little Johnnie. The minister shouted out, "Brothers and Sisters, look at Little Johnny, can he be the only one without sin? "Little Johnny, stand up. I guess you are the only one here who isn't preoccupied with sex and committing sins. What do you have to say!" Little Johnny replied, "Reverend, you ain't said nothing about me-ing and me-ing!" |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job". So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted his computer. Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?" God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves". |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | A Jewish father was concerned about his son who was about a year away from his Bar Mitzvah, but was sorely lacking in his knowledge of the Jewish faith. To remedy this, he sent his son to Israel to experience his heritage. A year later the young man returned home "Father, thank you for sending me to the land of our fathers," the son said. "It was wonderful and enlightening; however, I must confess that while in Israel I converted to Christianity." "Oi vey," replied the father, "what have I done?" So, in the tradition of the patriarchs, he went to his best friend and sought his advice and solace. "It is amazing that you should come to me," stated his friend. "I, too, sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian." So in the tradition of the patriarchs, they went to the Rabbi. "It is amazing that you should come to me," stated the Rabbi. "I, too, sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian. What is happening to our sons? Brothers, we must take this to the Lord," said the Rabbi. They fell to their knees and began to wail and pour our their hearts to the Almighty. As they prayed, the clouds above opened and a mighty voice said, "Amazing that you should come to me. I, too, sent my Son to Israel...." |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. "Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard a big splash. "Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'bridge out' instead?" |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | It has come to our attention that the pastor you received was shipped with a slight defect: he/she is not psychic. This defect necessitates certain special procedures to ensure optimum performance of your unit. |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. So what else would you like to be?" The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains." "So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest. The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count', St. Peter?" "No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing." "In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud." "So be it," says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears. A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks. "The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult." "Why?" asketh the Lord. "He's on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota." |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | In our search for a suitable pastor, the following scratch sheet was developed for your perusal. Of the candidates investigated by the committee, only one was found to have the necessary qualities. The list contains the names of the candidates and comments on each, should you be interested in investigating them further for future pastoral placements. The Pastoral Search Committee. |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | God made, Adam bit, Noah arked, Abraham split, Jacob fooled, Joseph ruled, Bush talked, Moses balked, Pharaoh plagued, People walked, Sea divided, Tablets guided, Promises landed, Saul freaked, David peeked, Prophets warned, Jesus born, God walked, Love talked, Anger crucified, Hope died, Love rose, Spirit flamed, Word spread, God remained. Amen. |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | The other day I went to the local religious book store where I saw a "Honk if you Love Jesus" bumper sticker. I bought it and put in on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light of a busy intersection. Just lost in thought about the Lord and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked. I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy, he must really love the Lord. Because pretty soon he leaned out the window and yelled "Jesus Christ" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "Go Jesus Christ, Go". Everyone else started honking too. So I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a Sunny Beach, and I saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger up in the air. I had recently asked my two kids what that meant. They told me that it was the Hawaiian Good Luck Sign. So I leaned out the window and gave him the Good Luck Sign back. A couple of people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray. But just then I noticed that the light had changed, and I stepped on the gas. It's a good thing I did, because I was the only car to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned out the window and gave them a Big Smile and held up the Hawaiian Good Luck Sign as I drove away. |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | A Jew, a Greek, and an Italian man all die in a plane crash. They are standing before the Lord, and the Lord tells them, "I am going to give you one more chance. I'll send you back to earth on one condition: that you give up your bad habits." They all say, "We will, we will. Please let us live again!" The Italian man agrees to give up eating compulsively. The Jewish man promises to give up thinking of money all the time. And the Greek man vows not to constantly think about sex. Suddenly they find themselves back on earth, walking down the street. Before they even get a chance to say anything to each other about what has just happened, the Italian man sees a restaurant and begins to salivate. He starts running toward the restaurant when POOF! He disappears in a cloud of smoke. Just then, the Jewish man sees a dime on the street a couple of feet away. He steps forward, bends over to pick it up, and POOF! Both he and the Greek disappear. |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | At an interfaith retreat some time ago, the organizers decided to allow for a free afternoon of just socializing. A priest, minister, and a rabbi went fishing together. After a while, the priest said, "Brother, Rabbi, would you please both excuse me, I've got to pee." He laid down his fishing pole, stepped over the side of the boat, and *walked across the water to the shore.* He finished his business, then *walked back across the water* to the boat. The minister said, "Father, I didn't want to be the first to have to go," stood up, stepped over the side of the boat, and walked right on top of the water to the shore. He also finished his business, zipped up, and walked back on the water right back to the boat. The rabbi was awestruck. Imagine -- WALKING on water! He thought to himself, "well, if they can do this, so can I!" He excused himself to the priest and minister, put his pole down, stepped over the side of the boat ... and sunk like a rock. The priest turned to the minister and said, "You think we should have told him where the rocks were?" |
Write a joke about the following category | Religious | We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern life. But you may have wondered: what if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing this... |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | To find out your car's astrological sign - look for a sticker on the inside of the driver's side door that gives you the exact month and year the car was manufactured. Car horoscopes are based month to month because they are created and assembled over a period of weeks and not just on one day. |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Driver's swear ..... are you listenin', At the Mall .....folks are bitchin', A miserable sight ..... they're sorry tonite, Drivin' in New Jersey's TrafficLand! Gone away ...... are your tires, meter has ...... just expired, They towed you away, while you shopped today, Parkin' in New Jersey's TrafficLand! On the Parkway we will have a breakdown, We'll be stuck and threathened on the side, If we're lucky, muggers might come mug us, And if we plead they may give us a ride! Santa's sleigh ..... was impounded, All the Elves ...... were surrounded, He's now in a cell .... for ringin' his bell, Living in New Jersey's TrafficLand! |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies "Well, okay." Two days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of morning coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Well, okay." Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 6 to 8 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the..." and then the power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. He says to Lena, "What am I going to do now, Lena?" Lena replies, "Aw, Ole, yust leave the car in the garage." |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | A duel was fought between Alexander Shott and John Nott in June 1849. Nott was shot and Shott was not. In this case it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some said that Nott was not shot. But Shott says that he shot Nott. It may be that the shot Shott shot, shot Nott, or it may be possible that the shot Shott shot, shot Shott himself. We think, however, that the shot Shott shot, shot not Shott, but Nott. Anyway it is hard to tell which was shot and which was not. |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error. In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been 'called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife From: Your Departed Husband Subject: I've Arrived! I've just arrived and have checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. (P.S. Sure is hot down here!) |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | One of the worlds most famous blondes turned 40 in 1999. She doesn't look a day over 18, well maybe 27. No cellulite on her thighs, no wrinkles, no sagging breasts. Her figure is the same as it was twenty years ago. Many girls from around the world are familiar with this famous blonde. Some would say she is more famous than Madonna. Yes, Barbie Millicent Roberts turns forty in 1999. Is it time to give up the mini skirt for something more conservative? You be the judge, but the folks over at Mattel don't seem to think so. On the other hand, some women have suggested a few changes to the world's most popular doll. Something more fitting for the now middle aged blonde. Here's a list of possible new Barbies... |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang. "Hello?" I said. A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?" I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I was bored. I replied, "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?" "Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded. "I think he said he'd be home around 10:00." Silence on the other end... a confused silence. "Is this Steve?" My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number. So I replied, "Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?" "Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him," she said in a slightly irritated voice. I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00." A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!" "The girl he went out with." "I know that! I mean... who is she?" "I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?" "Yes... please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home." She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper flaring. "I sure will. Is this Jennifer?" She exploded, "Who's Jennifer?" Apparently she wasn't. "Well... he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry... it was an honest mistake." "Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and the she's very upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home." I smiled and said, "Okay, I will... but Becky isn't going to like this..." *Click* |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being great creatures, and as such they had the right to go where they wanted. The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flower beds, and he had tried everything. Two weeks later, on a visit a friend noticed his flower beds were doing great. The flowers were beginning to bloom. So the friend asked him how he managed to keep the birds away. "How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?" "One night I hid half a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. I wasn't bothered after that." |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Mrs. Brown is the church Matron, and she has become very famous for the baked beans she makes for every picnick or church potluck. The annual Mother's Day Pot Luck Dinner was tomorrow, and as usual Mrs. Brown set about preparing her baked beans for the meal. She had set everything to going on the stove, and was called away to the door. Mrs. Brown's son Billy came running into a freshly waxed kitchen, with his BB Gun in one hand and a fist full of BB's in the other. He slipped on the freshly waxed floor, and wouldn't you know it, the BB's flew right into the pot of baking beans. Mrs. Brown walked into the kitchen and scolded little Billy for running indoors, but not wanting to get into any further trouble he said nothing about the BB's going into the pot of simmering beans. The next day came, and the Pot Luck was an enormous success. As usual, Mrs. Brown's beans were the favorites and were quickly eaten all up. Not a single bean left in the pot. The next morning Mrs. Brown receives a phone call from the church secretary. "Mrs. Brown," she says, "Um, I loved your beans as always, but did you perhaps add anything, or change your recipe?" Mrs. Brown replied, "Why No, it was the same recipe as I always prepare, Why?" The secretary says, "Well, um, I bent over to feed my cat this morning, and I shot the Canary!" |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball. Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Happy Fun Ball Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete. Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs: |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Years ago, CBS had a popular little series called Gilligan's Island. There is, however, a dark secret about this "comedy" you may never have realized. The island is a direct representation of HELL. Nobody on the island wants to be there, yet none are able to leave. Each one of the characters represents one of the 7 deadly sins: |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | A woman wants the inside of her house painted, so she calls a contractor in to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants. She says, "Now in the living room, I'd like to have a neutral beige, very soft and warm." The contractor nods thoughtfully, then goes to the window, leans out, and yells "Green side up". The woman is most perplexed, but she lets it slide. They wander into the next room. She says, "In the dining room, I'd like a light white, not stark, but very bright and airy." The contractor nods, then he goes to the window, leans out, and yells "Green side up". The woman is even more perplexed, but still she lets it slide. They wander further into the next room. She says, "In the bedroom, I'd like blue. Restful peaceful, cool blue." The contractor nods, then once more he goes to the window, leans out, and yells "Green side up". This is too much. The woman has to ask. So she says, "Every time I tell you a color, you don't even bother to write it down, but then you yell out the window "Green Side Up". What on earth does that mean? Are you even paying attention to the colors I want?" The contractor recites her color choices from memory, then shakes his head and says, "I have four Finns laying sod across the street, and I have to keep reminding them which side goes up." |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? Here's an incredibly simple way to do it, and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! Try it now! Follow this simple procedure: |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered coffee. I asked the clerk to put some ice cubes into the cup so that I could drink the cool coffee quickly. At the window, there was a delay. Finally, a teen-aged girl came to the window looking frustrated. "I'm having a problem," she announced. "The ice keeps melting." |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Everyone is always sending warnings about viruses, people trying to drug you in the street, people trying to scam use of your mobile phone...the list goes on. I don't usually forward many of these kinds of emails, but this warning came to me today from a very reliable source and I feel compelled to warn my female friends!! (By the way, the reason some men were sent this is so that they can warn the women in their lives as well.) If a man comes to your front door and says he is conducting a survey and asks you to show him your boobs, DON'T DO IT! |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Did you hear about the new program on CBS's Cable Channel-"Jewish Survivor"? Eighteen Jews are put in a two bedroom non-Rent Controlled Apartment (not a sublet) on the Upper West Side of New York. Each week they vote out one of the Tribe until there is a survivor who gets a $1 million trust fund. Jewish Survivor Rules: |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Mattel may not want to turn Barbie into a middle aged doll as some women suggested. Still others say it is high time for Ms. Roberts to get in touch with the modern times. Here are some suggestions for a 90's type of Barbie. |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show? Six men will be dropped on an island with 1 van and 4 kids each, for 6 weeks. Each kid plays two sports AND takes music, dance or lessons on both. There is no access to fast food. Each man must take care of his 4 kids, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and take care of a pet cat and dog. The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done: There is only one TV between them and there is no remote. The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves either while driving or while making four lunches. They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas. The kids vote them off based on performance. The winner gets to go back to his job. |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | A Jewish man, a Polish man, and a man from India are driving around looking for a hotel. Unfortunately a convention happens to be in town that night, and there are no rooms available. They wind up driving to the outskirts of the city where at last they come across a motel with a VACANCY sign. They stop and go in to register. "I'm sorry," says the clerk, "but we only have one room left and it's only a double." The three men explain how desperate they are, and so the clerk says, "Okay, I know what we can do. One of you men can sleep out in the barn. Don't worry, though, we'll put a cot out there and make it nice and comfortable for you." The clerk then shows them to their room, and as he is leaving he says, "It's up to you three to decided who is going to sleep in the barn." Without hesitation, the man from India says, "No problem, I'll sleep in the barn." He leaves, and a few minutes later, as the other two men are getting ready for bed, they hear a knock at the door. They open it, and the Indian man is standing there. "So sorry," he says, "I cannot sleep with the sacred cow." "So, I'll sleep in the barn," says the Jewish man, and he leaves. A few minutes later the other two men hear a knock on the door. They answer it, and the Jewish guy is standing there. He shrugs and says, "Can't sleep with the pig." So the Polish guy says, "I guess I'll sleep in the barn." He leaves. The Indian and the Jewish man are beginning to undress when they hear a sound at the door. They open it and the pig and cow are standing there. |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Dear Washington State residents: The recent earthquakes were just a warning. Now that we have your attention, sell us your power, give us back our sunshine, take back your rain and we'll take back our earthquakes. [signed] The People of California |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos: Your Personality: |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Read each line ALOUD: This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is dumbass cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is about cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top. |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Once uton a pime in a corn funtry there lived a geautiful birl and her name was Rindercella. Now Rindercella lived with her two sad blisters and her mugly other. Also in this corn funtry there liv inviting all the geautiful birls from riles amound. But Rindercella gouldn't co. She had to make dancy fesses for her two sad blisters and her mugly other. While they all went off to the bancy fall, Rindercella just cat down and shried. She was just citting there a shrying when there appeared before her - her jerry mud father! "Rindercella," she asked, "Shry do you why?" Rindercella mold her jerry mud father of her werrible tork. Just then her jerry mud father made Rindercella a geautiful bown and took two mield fice and a tumpkin and purned them into two stighty malions and cig boach! Off to the bancy fall went Rindercella, with the warning that she must go home before the mid clock struck night. As Rindercella entered the bancy fall the pransome hince saw her through a widden hindow and thought she gas worgeous! They danced and danced and soon they lell in fove. Suddenly, the mid clock struck night and fearing her cig boach would purn into a tumpkin, Rindercella staced down the rairs. But as she beached the rottom, she slopped her dripper. Well the nery vext day the pransome hince searched the corn funtry for the geautiful birl who had slopped her dripper. He tried it on Rindercella's mugly other, but if fidn't dit. He tried it on her sad blisters... Then, the dripper fit only Rindercella at last. Now the storal of the mory: If you ever go to a bancy fall to meet a pransome hince with the hopes of lalling in fove, don't forget to slop your dripper! |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | DETROIT As of Friday, June 24, 1994 the Ford Bronco has officially been selected as the vehicle of choice in the United States. The Conclusive California road test, as seen on national TV, proved without a doubt that the 1994 Bronco can successfully hold off 15 or more police cars, 3 helicopters, and the entire population of the United States for more than an hour and a half, while never exceeding 43 miles per hour. The vehicle even works as well parked in the driveway of your residence. If you are a felon, then we have a special deal for you on a brand new Ford Bronco. Just go to your local Ford dealer and ask for the new O.J. Package. This specially equipped Bronco comes with a .30 caliber pistol, twenty five rounds of ammunition, blood resistant upholstery, cellular phone with speed-dialing for 911 calls, $10,000.00 cash, a passport, a former famous football player blow-up doll, and a high-powered well-qualified lawyer who will greet you when you arrive home. Picture yourself leaning comfortably back in your seat, listening to the gentle swirl of helicopter blades and police cars purring. And if you act now, we will throw in the O.J. Magical Disappearing Ginzo Knife at no extra charge. Be the first in your cell to own the new 1994 O.J. EDITION BRONCO. See your Ford Dealer now. |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. What is missing here is his delivery. Great sketch - and you might get lucky enough to find it on Nickoleodeon. |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Britain decided it was time to switch left lane traffic to right lane traffic, as everywhere in Europe. So they gather to plan the whole thing and nobody seems to come up with any viable solution, so they send out some help-me type faxes. A couple of days later, answers come back. The French fax read: "As your neighbors, we are deeply touched you requested our help," etc., etc., "but we have no idea at all how to do it." The German fax read: "We are Germany, the most organized country in Europe, but we have not had this problem before and we do not know how to handle it." The Polish fax read: "As you know, we are Poland, a country that has done a lot on the path towards democracy and economic resuscitation. "We have a great deal of experience in such transition processes. But, as to overcome the inherent difficulties and to avoid social problems, any and all transitions must be done gradually. "So, it is our proposal to handle the situation in three big steps. The first year, it should be mandatory only for the trucks to ride on the right lane ..." |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | The Pope and the Queen of England are on the same stage at an Anglican and Catholic commemoration of the Anglo-Irish accords. The crowd is huge - thousands. Her Majesty and His Holiness, can't help but have a little rivalry, both being heads of churches and all. The Queen says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every English person in the crowd go wild?" He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the royal-gloved wave elicits rapture and cheering from every Englishman in the crowd. Gradually the cheering subsides. The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by someone wearing a worse frock and hat than he, considers what he could do. So the Pope says to the Queen, "Your Majesty, that was impressive. But did you know that with one little wave of MY hand I can make every Irish person in the crowd go crazy with joy? Their joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will speak forever of this day and rejoice. They will recount it to their grandchildren and they to their descendants." The Queen seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all Irish people will rejoice forever? Show me." So the Pope slaps her. |
Write a joke about the following category | Miscellaneous | Note: Tradewars is on online role-playing game where you are a spaceship captain, and roam a 5,000 sector universe trading and/or killing away. You also get to build things and gather colonists. Look for the game on local BBS' On your first game you most likely did the following: |