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1 | Our actions may be impeded . . . but there can be no impeding our intentions or dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. |
2 | The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. |
3 | In Marcus we find a man who held the highest and most powerful station in the world—and the universal verdict of the people around him was that he proved himself worthy of it. |
4 | We are the rightful heirs to this tradition. It's our birthright. Whatever we face, we have a choice: Will we be blocked by obstacles, or will we advance through and over them? |
5 | That the challenge makes them better than if they'd never faced the adversity at all. |
6 | We will see things simply and straightforwardly, as they truly are—neither good nor bad. This will be an incredible advantage for us in the fight against obstacles. |
7 | To perceive what others see as negative, as something to be approached rationally, clearly, and, most important, as an opportunity—not as something to fear or bemoan. |
8 | Rockefeller is more than just an analogy. We live in our own Gilded Age. In less than a decade, we've experienced two major economic bubbles, entire industries are crumbling, lives have been disrupted. What feels like unfairness abounds. Financial downturns, civil unrest, adversity. People are afraid and discouraged, |
9 | Too often we react emotionally, get despondent, and lose our perspective. All that does is turn bad things into really bad things. Unhelpful perceptions can invade our minds—that sacred place of reason, action and will—and throw off our compass. |
10 | We can see disaster rationally. Or rather, like Rockefeller, we can see *opportunity* in every disaster, and transform that negative situation into an education, a skill set, or a fortune. Seen properly, everything that happens—be it an economic crash or a personal tragedy—is a chance to move forward. |
11 | Carter did not have much power, but he understood that that was not the same thing as being powerless. Many great figures, from Nelson Mandela to Malcolm X, have come to understand this fundamental distinction. |
12 | We decide what we will make of each and every situation. We decide whether we'll break or whether we'll resist. We decide whether we'll assent or reject. No one can force us to give up or to believe something that is untrue (such as, that a situation is absolutely hopeless or impossible to improve). Our perceptions are the thing that we're in complete control of. |
13 | Regardless of how much actual danger we're in, stress puts us at the potential whim of our baser—fearful—instinctual reactions. |
14 | When people panic, they make mistakes. They override systems. They disregard procedures, ignore rules. They deviate from the plan. They become unresponsive and stop thinking clearly. They just react—not to what they need to react to, but to the survival hormones that are coursing through their veins. |
15 | In space, the difference between life and death lies in emotional regulation. |
16 | Thus, the question for astronauts was not How skilled a pilot are you, but Can you keep an even strain? Can you fight the urge to panic and instead focus only on what you can change? On the task at hand? |
17 | Life is really no different. Obstacles make us emotional, but the only way we'll survive or overcome them is by keeping those emotions in check—if we can keep steady no matter what happens, no matter how much external events may fluctuate. |
18 | The Greeks had a word for this: *apatheia*. It's the kind of calm equanimity that comes with the absence of irrational or extreme emotions. Not the loss of feeling altogether, just the loss of the harmful, unhelpful kind. Don't let the negativity in, don't let those emotions even get started. Just say: No, thank *you.* I can't afford to *panic.* |
19 | This is the skill that must be cultivated—freedom from disturbance and perturbation—so you can focus your energy exclusively on solving problems, rather than reacting to them. |
20 | As Gavin de Becker writes in The Gift of *Fear,* "When you worry, ask yourself, 'What am I choosing to not see right now?' What important things are you missing because you chose worry over introspection, alertness or wisdom?" |
21 | Another way of putting it: Does getting upset provide you with more options? |
22 | Sometimes it does. But in *this* instance? No, I suppose not. Well, then. If an emotion can't change the condition or the situation you're dealing with, it is likely an unhelpful emotion. Or, quite possibly, a destructive one. |
23 | Real strength lies in the *control* or, as Nassim Taleb put it, the *domestication* of one's emotions, not in pretending they don't exist. |
24 | You can always remind yourself: I am in control, not my **emotions.** I see what's really going on here. I'm not going to get **excited** or upset. |
25 | Try having that conversation with yourself and see how those extreme emotions hold up. They won't last long, trust that. |
26 | After all, you're probably not going to die from any of this. It might help to say it over and over again whenever you feel the anxiety begin to come on: I am not going to die from this. I am not going to die from this. I am not going to die from *this.* |
27 | Or try Marcus's question: Does what happened keep you from acting with **justice,** generosity, self-control, sanity, prudence, honesty, **humility,** straightforwardness? |
28 | And the answer—like it is for astronauts, for soldiers, for doctors, and for so many other professionals—must be: No, **because** I practiced for this situation and I can control *myself.* Or, No, *because* I caught myself and I'm able to realize that that doesn't add **anything** constructive. |
29 | In our own lives, how many problems seem to come from applying judgments to things we don't control, as though there were a way they were *supposed* to be? How often do we see what we think is there or should be there, instead of what actually is there? |
30 | Having steadied ourselves and held back our emotions, we can see things as they really are. We can do that using our observing eye. |
31 | "When you worry, ask yourself, 'What am I choosing to not see right now?' What important things are you missing because you chose worry over introspection, alertness or wisdom?" |
32 | Our understanding of the world of business is all mixed up with storytelling and mythology. Which is funny because we're missing the real story by focusing on individuals. |
33 | To harness the same power, recovering addicts learn the Serenity Prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. |
34 | This is our playing field, so to speak. Everything there is fair game. What is not up to us? Well, you know, everything else. The weather, the economy, circumstances, other people's emotions or judgments, trends, disasters, et cetera. |
35 | To argue, to complain, or worse, to just give up, these are choices. Choices that more often than not, do *nothing* to get us across the finish line. |
36 | Focusing exclusively on what is in our power magnifies and enhances our power. But every ounce of energy directed at things we can't actually influence is wasted—self-indulgent and selfdestructive. So much power—ours, and other people's—is frittered away in this manner. |
37 | A good person dyes events with his own color . . . and turns whatever happens to his own benefit. |
38 | That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger. |
39 | Then imitate the action of the tiger; stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood. |
40 | We forget: In life, it doesn't matter what happens to you or where you came from. It matters what you do with what happens and what you've been given. And the only way you'll do something spectacular is by using it all to your advantage. |
41 | People turn shit into sugar all the time—shit that's a lot worse than whatever we're dealing with. I'm talking physical disabilities, racial discrimination, battles against overwhelmingly superior armies. But those people didn't quit. They didn't feel sorry for themselves. They didn't delude themselves with fantasies about easy solutions. They focused on the one thing that mattered: applying themselves with gusto and creativity. |
42 | No one wants to be born weak or to be victimized. No one wants to be down to their last dollar. No one wants to be stuck behind an obstacle, blocked from where they need to go. Such circumstances are not impressed by perception, but they are not indifferent—or rather immune—from action. In fact, that's the only thing these situations will respond to. |
43 | Grant's story is not the exception to the rule. It is the rule. This is how innovation works. |
44 | As we butt up against obstacles, it is helpful to picture Grant and Edison. Grant with a cigar clenched in his mouth. Edison on his hands and knees in the laboratory for days straight. Both unceasing, embodying cool persistence and the spirit of the line from the Alfred Lord Tennyson poem about that other Ulysses, "to strive, to seek, to find." Both, refusing to give up. Turning over in their minds option after option, and trying each one with equal enthusiasm. Knowing that eventually—*inevitably*—one will work. Welcoming the opportunity to test and test and test, grateful for the priceless knowledge this reveals. |
45 | What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first steps to something better. |
46 | In the chaos of sport, as in life, process provides us a way. |
47 | We can take a breath, do the immediate, composite part in front of us—and follow its thread into the next action. |
48 | When action is our priority, vanity falls away. |
49 | Each project matters, and the only degrading part is giving less than one is capable of giving. |
50 | How you do anything is how you can do everything. We can always act right. |
51 | Duty is beautiful, and inspiring and empowering. |
52 | Every situation is different, obviously. We're not inventing the next iPad or iPhone, but we are making something for someone—even if it's just our own résumé. |
53 | In every situation, life is asking us a question, and our actions are the answer. Our job is simply to answer well. |
54 | Right action—unselfish, dedicated, masterful, creative—that is the answer to that question. That's one way to find the meaning of life. And how to turn every obstacle into an opportunity. |
55 | If you see any of this as a burden, you're looking at it the wrong way. |
56 | Because all we need to do is those three little duties—to try hard, to be honest, and to help others and ourselves. That's all that's been asked of us. No more and no less. |
57 | What mattered was that you got it done and it *worked*. |
58 | Think progress, not perfection. |
59 | Gandhi's extensive satyagraha campaign and civil disobedience show that action has many definitions. It's not always moving forward or even obliquely. It can also be a matter of positions. It can be a matter of taking a stand. |
60 | Martin Luther King Jr., taking Gandhi's lead, told his followers that they would meet "physical force with soul force." In other words, they would use the power of opposites. In the face of violence they would be peaceful, to hate they would answer with love—and in the process, they would expose those attributes as indefensible and evil. |
61 | The great philosopher Søren Kierkegaard rarely sought to convince people directly from a position of authority. Instead of lecturing, he practiced a method he called "indirect communication." |
62 | You don't convince people by challenging their longest and most firmly held opinions. You find common ground and work from there. Or you look for leverage to make them listen. |
63 | What you must do is learn how to press forward precisely when everyone around you sees disaster. |
64 | We must prepare for adversity and turmoil, we must learn the art of acquiescence and practice cheerfulness even in dark times. |
65 | True will is quiet humility, resilience, and flexibility; the other kind of will is weakness disguised by bluster and ambition. |
66 | Lincoln's personal challenges had been so intense that he came to believe they were destined for him in some way, and that the depression, especially, was a unique experience that prepared him for greater things. |
67 | The nation called for a leader of magnanimity and force of purpose—it found one in Lincoln, a political novice who was nevertheless a seasoned expert on matters of will and patience. |
68 | We are prepared for failure and ready for success. |
69 | The Fates guide the person who accepts them and hinder the person who resists them. |
70 | You know you're not the only one who has to accept things you don't necessarily like, right? It's part of the human condition. |
71 | After you've distinguished between the things that are up to you and the things that aren't (ta eph'hemin, ta ouk eph'hemin), and the break comes down to something you don't control . . . you've got only one option: acceptance. |
72 | My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it . . . but love it. |
73 | To do great things, we need to be able to endure tragedy and setbacks. We've got to love what we do and all that it entails, good and bad. We have to learn to find joy in every single thing that happens. |
74 | As the Stoics commanded themselves: Cheerfulness in all situations, especially the bad ones. Who knows where Edison and Johnson learned this epithet, but they clearly did. |
75 | Learning not to kick and scream about matters we can't control is one thing. Indifference and acceptance are certainly better than disappointment or rage. Very few understand or practice that art. But it is only a first step. Better than all of that is love for all that happens to us, for every situation. |
76 | And we can find it and be cheerful because of it. |
77 | A man's job is to make the world a better place to live in, so far as he is able—always remembering the results will be infinitesimal—and to attend to his own soul. |
78 | Shared purpose gives us strength. |
79 | The desire to quit or compromise on principles suddenly feels rather selfish when we consider the people who would be affected by that decision. |
80 | Help your fellow humans thrive and survive, contribute your little bit to the universe before it swallows you up, and be happy with that. Lend a hand to others. Be strong for them, and it will make you stronger. |
81 | Memento mori, the Romans would remind themselves. Remember you are mortal. |
82 | Reminding ourselves each day that we will die helps us treat our time as a gift. Someone on a deadline doesn't indulge himself with attempts at the impossible, he doesn't waste time complaining about how he'd like things to be. |
83 | Knowing that life is a marathon and not a sprint is important. Conserve your energy. Understand that each battle is only one of many and that you can use it to make the next one easier. More important, you must keep them all in real perspective. |
84 | The obstacle becomes the way, becomes the way. Forever and ever and ever. Yes, it's unlikely that anyone is going to make an armed run at our throne anytime soon. But people will make pointed remarks. They will cut us off in traffic. Our rivals will steal our business. We will be hurt. Forces will try to hold us back. Bad stuff will happen. |
85 | The essence of philosophy is action—in making good on the ability to turn the obstacle upside down with our minds. Understanding our problems for what's within them and their greater context. To see things *philosophically* and act accordingly. |
86 | Philosophy was never what happened in the classroom. It was a set of lessons from the battlefield of life. |
87 | Man's Search for *Meaning*. New York: Touchstone, 1984. |
88 | Philosophy as a Way of Life: Spiritual Exercises *from* Socrates to *Foucault.* Translated by Arnold Davidson. Malden: Wiley-Blackwell, 1995. |
89 | What Is Ancient *Philosophy?* Translated by Michael Chase. Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 2004. |
90 | The Stoic and Epicurean Philosophers: The Complete Extant Writings of Epicurus, Epictetus, Lucretius, Marcus *Aurelius*. New York: Random House, 1940. |
91 | Seneca, Lucius Annaeus. Stoic Philosophy of Seneca: Essays and Letters. Translated by Moses Hadas. New York: W. W. Norton, 1968. |
92 | His book Philosophy as a Way of *Life* explains how philosophy has been wrongly interpreted as a thing people *talk* about rather than something that people do. |
93 | In Marcus's words is the secret to an art known as turning obstacles upside down. To act with "a reverse clause," so there is always a way out or another route to get to where you need to go. So that setbacks or problems are always expected and never permanent. Making certain that what impedes us can empower us. |
94 | Great individuals, like great companies, find a way to transform weakness into strength. It's a rather amazing and even touching feat. They took what should have held them back—what in fact might be holding you back right this very second—and used it to move forward. |
95 | What blocks us is clear. Systemic: decaying institutions, rising unemployment, skyrocketing costs of education, and technological disruption. Individual: too short, too old, too scared, too poor, too stressed, no access, no backers, no confidence. How skilled we are at cataloging what holds us back! |
96 | An entrepreneur is someone with faith in their ability to make something where there was nothing before. To them, the idea that no one has ever done this or that is a good thing. When given an unfair task, some rightly see it as a chance to test what they're made of—to give it all they've got, knowing full well how difficult it will be to win. They see it as an opportunity because it is often in that desperate nothing-to-lose state that we are our most creative. |
97 | The Blitzkrieg strategy was designed to exploit the flinch of the enemy—he must collapse at the sight of what appears to be overwhelming force. Its success depends completely on this response. This military strategy works because the set-upon troops see the offensive force as an enormous obstacle bearing down on them. |
98 | Psychologists call it adversarial growth and post-traumatic growth. "That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger" is not a cliché but fact. |
99 | So focus on that—on the poorly wrapped and initially repulsive present you've been handed in every seemingly disadvantageous situation. Because beneath the packaging is what we need—often something of real value. A gift of great benefit. |
100 | He could see through bullies and stare down fear. In struggling with his unfortunate fate, Demosthenes found his true calling: He would be the voice of Athens, its great speaker and conscience. He would be successful precisely because of what he'd been through and how he'd reacted to it. He had channeled his rage and pain into his training, and then later into his speeches, fueling it all with a kind of fierceness and power that could be neither matched nor resisted. |
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