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Luke, tell Owen that if he gets a translator to be sure it speaks Bocce.
BERU
It looks like we don't have much of a choice but I'll remind him.
LUKE
I have no need for a protocol droid.
OWEN
Sir - not in an environment such as this - that's why I've also been programmed for over thirty secondary functions that...
THREEPIO
What I really need is a droid that understands the binary languages of moisture vaporators.
OWEN
Vaporators! Sir - My first job was programming binary load lifters... very similar to your vaporators. You could say...
THREEPIO
Do you speak Bocce?
OWEN
Of course I can, sir. It's like a second language for me... I'm as fluent in Bocce...
THREEPIO
All right; shut up! I'll take this one.
OWEN
Shutting up, sir.
THREEPIO
Luke, take these two over to the garage, will you? I want you to have both of them cleaned up before dinner.
OWEN
But I was going into Toshi Station to pick up some power converters...
LUKE
You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done. Now, come on, get to it!
OWEN
All right, come on! And the red one, come on. Well, come on, Red, let's go.
LUKE
Uncle Owen...
LUKE
Yeah?
OWEN
This R2 unit has a bad motivator. Look!
LUKE
Hey, what're you trying to push on us?
OWEN
Excuse me, sir, but that R2 unit is in prime condition. A real bargain.
THREEPIO
Uncle Owen...
LUKE
Yeah?
OWEN
What about that one?
LUKE
What about that blue one? We'll take that one.
OWEN
Yeah, take it away.
LUKE
Uh, I'm quite sure you'll be very pleased with that one, sir. He really is in first-class condition. I've worked with him before. Here he comes.
THREEPIO
Okay, let's go.
LUKE
Now, don't forget this! Why I should stick my neck out for you is quite beyond my capacity!
THREEPIO
Thank the maker! This oil bath is going to feel so good. I've got such a bad case of dust contamination, I can barely move!
THREEPIO
It just isn't fair. Oh, Biggs is right. I'm never gonna get out of here!
LUKE
Is there anything I might do to help?
THREEPIO
Well, not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest, or teleport me off this rock!
LUKE
I don't think so, sir. I'm only a droid and not very knowledgeable about such things. Not on this planet, anyways. As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure which planet I'm on.
THREEPIO
Well, if there's a bright center to the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from.
LUKE
I see, sir.
THREEPIO
Uh, you can call me Luke.
LUKE
I see, sir Luke.
THREEPIO
Just Luke.
LUKE
And I am See-Threepio, human-cyborg relations, and this is my counterpart, Artoo-Detoo.
THREEPIO
Hello.
LUKE
You got a lot of carbon scoring here. It looks like you boys have seen a lot of action.
LUKE
With all we've been through, sometimes I'm amazed we're in as good condition as we are, what with the Rebellion and all.
THREEPIO
You know of the Rebellion against the Empire?
LUKE
That's how we came to be in your service, if you take my meaning, sir.
THREEPIO
Have you been in many battles?
LUKE
Several, I think. Actually, there's not much to tell. I'm not much more than an interpreter, and not very good at telling stories. Well, not at making them interesting, anyways.
THREEPIO
Well, my little friend, you've got something jammed in here real good. Were you on a starcruiser or...
LUKE
Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You'remy only hope.
LEIA
What's this?
LUKE
What is what?!? He asked you a question...What is that?
THREEPIO
Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.
LEIA
Oh, he says it's nothing, sir. Merely a malfunction. Old data. Pay it no mind.
THREEPIO
Who is she? She's beautiful.
LUKE
I'm afraid I'm not quite sure, sir.
THREEPIO
Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi...
LEIA
I think she was a passenger on our last voyage. A person of some importance, sir - I believe. Our captain was attached to...
THREEPIO
Is there more to this recording?
LUKE
Behave yourself, Artoo. You're going to get us in trouble. It's all right, you can trust him. He's our new master.
THREEPIO
He says he's the property of Obi-Wan Kenobi, a resident of these parts. And it's a private message for him. Quite frankly, sir, I don't know what he's talking about. Our last master was Captain Antilles, but with what we've been through, this little R2 unit has become a bit eccentric.
THREEPIO
Obi-Wan Kenobi? I wonder if he means old Ben Kenobi?
LUKE
I beg your pardon, sir, but do you know what he's talking about?
THREEPIO
Well, I don't know anyone named Obi-Wan, but old Ben lives out beyond the dune sea. He's kind of a strange old hermit.
LUKE
I wonder who she is. It sounds like she's in trouble. I'd better play back the whole thing.
LUKE
He says the restraining bolt has short circuited his recording system. He suggests that if you remove the bolt, he might be able to play back the entire recording.
THREEPIO
H'm? Oh, yeah, well, I guess you're too small to run away on me if I take this off! Okay.
LUKE
There you go.
LUKE
Well, wait a minute. Where'd she go? Bring her back! Play back the entire message.
LUKE
been playing. The one you're carrying inside your rusty innards!
THREEPIO
Luke? Luke! Come to dinner!
AUNT BERU
All right, I'll be right there, Aunt Beru.
LUKE
I'm sorry, sir, but he appears to have picked up a slight flutter.
THREEPIO
Well, see what you can do with him. I'll be right back.
LUKE
Just you reconsider playing that message for him.
THREEPIO
No, I don't think he likes you at all.
THREEPIO
No, I don't like you either.
THREEPIO
You know, I think that R2 unit we bought might have been stolen.
LUKE
What makes you think that?
OWEN
Well, I stumbled across a recording while I was cleaning him. He says he belongs to someone called Obi-Wan Kenobi.
LUKE
I thought he might have meant Ben. Do you know what he's talking about? Well, I wonder if he's related to Ben.
LUKE
That old man's just a crazy wizard. Tomorrow I want you to take that R2 unit into Anchorhead and have its memory flushed. That'll be the end of it. It belongs to us now.
OWEN
But what if this Obi-Wan comes looking for him?
LUKE
He won't, I don't think he exists any more. He died about the same time as your father.
OWEN
He knew my father?
LUKE
I told you to forget it. Your only concern is to prepare the new droids for tomorrow. In the morning I want them on the south ridge working out those condensers.
OWEN
Yes, sir. I think those new droids are going to work out fine. In fact, I, uh, was also thinking about our agreement about my staying on another season. And if these new droids do work out, I want to transmit my application to the Academy this year.
LUKE
You mean the next semester before harvest?
OWEN
Sure, there're more than enough droids.
LUKE
Harvest is when I need you the most. Only one more season. This year we'll make enough on the harvest so I'll be able to hire some more hands. And then you can go to the Academy next year.
OWEN
You must understand I need you here, Luke.
OWEN
But it's a whole 'nother year.
LUKE
Look, it's only one more season.
OWEN
Yeah, that's what you said last year when Biggs and Tank left.
LUKE
Where are you going?
AUNT BERU
It looks like I'm going nowhere. I have to finish cleaning those droids.
LUKE
Owen, he can't stay here forever. Most of his friends have gone. It means so much to him.
AUNT BERU
I'll make it up to him next year. I promise.
OWEN
Luke's just not a farmer, Owen. He has too much of his father in him.
AUNT BERU
That's what I'm afraid of.
OWEN
What are you doing hiding there?
LUKE
It wasn't my fault, sir. Please don't deactivate me. I told him not to go, but he's faulty, malfunctioning; kept babbling on about his mission.
THREEPIO
Oh, no!
LUKE