num_comments int64 1 883 | created_utc int64 1.39B 1.66B | score int64 13 14.7k | title stringlengths 10 299 | top_comment stringlengths 496 12.4k | top_comment_score int64 10 5.76k | label stringclasses 2
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11 | 1,418,494,264 | 85 | In a world... where everyone speaks in the style of movie trailer voice-overs... this is a normal conversation. | "In a world, where you have a request to make... I am the guy who takes that request! This summer, will you pick the nuggets... or the fries?"
"One man had one decision to make... A decision that could save his stomach... A decision that could mean hunger or famine... Which one will he choose? Find out this Fall..."
... | 13 | most_different |
30 | 1,402,120,151 | 221 | Captain Obvious, Sargent Sarcasm, and Admiral Asshole are in a room together | "Well, I just sure love a cold coffee on a freezing Sunday morning, don't you Admiral?" the man in the army uniform said loudly.
"Yup, tell it to the bitch in the spanks over there i'm going to fuck later tonight." The admiral chucked loudly, donning countless sparkling badges on his pristine navy uniform.
"I'm so... | 225 | most_different |
7 | 1,480,642,815 | 309 | ou're the greatest smooth jazz artist in the world, after being enlisted by the government to be sent to Mars you're given a mission. To create an atmosphere. | **Blue Air: The Coolest Mission to Mars**
*Interview with James Hood, Trumpet player, solo artist.*
Miles knew what he was talking about.
Shit, I never thought I'd be agreeing with how he played. I knew he *played*, and when he played he meant it. And that was gold. And even if I don't like the ring he made with i... | 40 | most_different |
31 | 1,478,680,545 | 704 | re a scientist in a different universe, where our universe is a simulation used as reality television. Due to low ratings, producers decide to mess with things in 2016... [WP] | "All I'm saying is, I don't think we can afford to mess with too much. Remember how ratings plummeted when we killed those celebrities?"
"You're right. We need some proper drama. Something to really hook the viewer. What have we got scripted for the fourth quarter?"
"Let's see. We have the oil pipe thing, the electio... | 210 | most_different |
116 | 1,409,822,082 | 1,222 | A demon who is really bad at his job keeps accidentally making the person he is possessing's life better | "FUCK YOU"
Baltior though the 9-5 demon job would be easy.
"You ARSEHOLE! Stop being so happy!"
Good hours, nice pay, got to see the terrors when he got home at night. No work to take home either. Humans kept fairly regular hours. You work when they work. Its nice.
"Who is EVER happy about a flat tire! 'Ooow, I f... | 467 | most_different |
4 | 1,649,673,809 | 92 | You have the ability to curse others with bad luck. You once used it against bad guys/your enemies, but recently, you've discovered that it is not limited to individuals and people. | AI generated answer:
Eleanor discovered that she could curse entire groups of people with bad luck. She didn't know how she did it, but she knew that it was something she was born with. When she was younger, she would use her power to curse her enemies, but as she got older, she realized that there were bigger things ... | 14 | most_different |
14 | 1,424,420,755 | 45 | Tropeday 2.6 - Who Prays for Satan? | morningstar
everyone forgets
that he was an angel once too.
it’s the same when you watch old video footage
of the two towers burning, the people
falling and jumping out of buildings
it's the same when you hear doors
slam and voices scream and you wonder
if you should do anything, should you
stand u... | 55 | most_different |
3 | 1,642,741,356 | 100 | You're a serial killer, but you're so bad at it, you haven't actually killed anyone yet. In fact, you're so bad, you always accidentally help the police solve unrelated murders | Police Commissioner Justin Smilie was found dead last night after allegedly breaking into the home of a still-unnamed mother of two. Though details are still coming in, it is currently believed that he forced his entry through a first-story bathroom window with a pistol and constraints in his possession. Investigators ... | 25 | most_different |
13 | 1,596,371,465 | 104 | You are agent 23-23-24 for the Timeline Integrity Organization. Your job consists of sitting at a desk where you read reports about all types of mundane events to ensure nothing has gone awry. Once day you notice the tiniest detail out of order and realize something terrible has happened. | Modifying timelines is tricky business. For something so fundamental to the fabric of reality, time is shockingly fragile. Technology advanced enough that we could make small changes in the early 22nd century and most of the time since has been spent setting up an infrastructure of agents who document reports that are ... | 37 | most_different |
4 | 1,618,966,837 | 45 | humans have always been good, adorable, pets. Except, their entertainment is often grim and dark. Especially what your human enjoys reading. | "The 17th cycle was rife with fears and concerns over what our humans were reading. Along with older stories such as "War of the Worlds", newer works such as "The Black Library" series raised concerns that the pets of our time were being corrupted and that, while under the influence of such writings, pets would inevita... | 13 | most_different |
91 | 1,527,110,153 | 2,681 | Your phone's always been a few minutes fast. You've never been able to fix it, so you just ignored it until the day you were hanging out with your friend and received this text from their number: 'Omg pls tell me your still alive' | “The falls have a vertical drop of 165 feet,” the guide’s voice cackled out of the tour boat’s loudspeakers, “it has the largest flow rate of any waterfall in North America.”
Max stood next to Jenny, wearing a plastic garbage bag with holes ripped for arms over his clothes. Jenny wore an actual rain jacket to fend off... | 701 | most_different |
15 | 1,428,850,562 | 76 | The world has electrified and everyone has mobile devices, but the only source of power generation that hasn't gone over to ruin are solar panels. During the day, society is new and modern, but everything turns off at night. | **Boy Age 12 Discovers Power Source for Nighttime Illumination**
Martin Baggins, age 12, from Portland, OR discovers a new use for old mobile devices. He, through his entrepreneurial father, has coordinated with a factory in China to disassemble old mobile devices for their batteries. The batteries are repackaged into... | 39 | most_different |
5 | 1,425,181,960 | 20 | Scientists have discovered immortality, and only a few people choose not to accept it. You are the last of these people, and you are on your deathbed, trying to explain the concept of death to your young son. | It’s a little like leaving a party while everyone is still in the midst of a great time. You’re slowly drawing closer to the door, the scent of food and coffee and drinks still hanging in the air. Your hand closes around the door handle and you smile vaguely. It’s your time to go. But you wouldn’t tell anyone that. Let... | 12 | most_different |
2 | 1,650,722,035 | 65 | An alien probe lands on Earth. After accessing the Internet, it works out every human language and broadcasts a single message across the planet: "No traffic to or from any of your sixty million colonies has been recorded in 291,738 local years. Is this system still under quarantine?" | The message was met with widespread confusion and simultaneous government response. Who had created this obviously staged situation, and how were the methods of broadcast simultaneously hacked? The “probe” had “landed” in rural Montana, an obvious location due to the limited sattelite and radar coverage which could be ... | 13 | most_different |
43 | 1,613,755,787 | 2,103 | "So, you humans got into space by riding an explosion in an expensive tin can? We've seen crazier. | "What? How else would you get into space?"
"Well, my people invented anti gravity generators and just floated up. Seems to be a popular method. But if your asking about the craziest, I will direct you to an episode of out most popular media. I believe you might call it a 'television show'".
The humanoid creature fli... | 565 | most_different |
10 | 1,393,706,650 | 78 | Mash up two fairy tales to make a new one. Take a new, fresh direction on it. | Little Red Riding Hood came to her grandmother's cottage, where she was waiting in her rocking chair with a warm smile on her face. She gave her the basket and told her the adventure she had getting to grandmother's house, who herself wrapped Little Red Riding Hood up in her cotton blanket and snuggled her safely into ... | 87 | most_different |
89 | 1,444,875,090 | 878 | George Wahington has been rolling in his grave for years over the state of the USA. He's rolled so much, that he's burrowed into the center of the Earth, and has returned as a magma and molten iron covered golem, with only one purpose: to set things strait, his way. | Golem George Washington kicked in the door to the oval office, startling President Tal King Hed right out of his chair.
"Who are you?" said President Hed, poking his head over the top of his desk.
"I'm Golem George Washington and I'm here to chop down your tree"
"I though that was a myth"
"Oh who even knows?"
"Is ... | 265 | most_different |
15 | 1,450,052,656 | 120 | When the Reaper comes to take a soul, someone else can volunteer in that persons place. Many celebrities, centuries old, have literal cult followings keeping them alive. | The reaper raised his scythe above the sleeping corpse of 12 time academy award winner Oliver Acton. He looked left and right whispered 'Oliver Acton your time has come' and then brought the scythe down as a man yelled "no" and leapt over Acton's body. The scythe hit the man in the back and he died.
Acton woke up look... | 24 | most_different |
4 | 1,609,765,177 | 41 | You are a criminal overlord, whose acts were always in the news, but you never got any credit for it. Everytime you do something, someone else gets arrested, and takes the fame you deserve and crave for. "It's my time to shine", you mumble to yourself, as the police stops you for speeding. | Orika Oh thunders northward in her '68 Brentwood Limited (stolen). "More updates on tonight's explosion at the SAMA," the Brentwood's tinny mid-century speakers announce.
"Four guards hospitalized, one in critical condition. The museum reports several valuable Meso-American pieces missing. Investigators have initially... | 11 | most_different |
210 | 1,483,177,798 | 6,715 | Elon Musk abandons SpaceX and Tesla and starts a new cologne line called "Elon's Musk" | "Always good to see you, Elon. Let's hear it!"
"Director, we've worked together on disrupting every industry," Elon begins. "Together, we've revolutionized online payments with Paypal. We've transformed transportation and energy with Tesla. We've changed how people get laid with our secret involvement in Tinder and Gr... | 1,540 | most_different |
8 | 1,445,098,338 | 114 | Despite our best efforts, the process of childbirth somehow invariably attracts bears seeking an easy meal. Even today, hospitals have a division of soldiers designated to protect the building from frequent bear attacks. | Meals are easy if you eat human babies
I'm a big brown bear and I got mad rabies
The hospital police try to fuck with me
So I ate their sherif and the deputy
Damn, I'm a bad bear nigga.
Damn, big brown bear nigga.
Damn, don't fuck with me
Or I'll eat your baby and the deputy
Bored as hell and I'm feeling hungry
B... | 36 | most_different |
12 | 1,479,934,665 | 14 | A conversation between a death row inmate and the guard bringing him his last meal. | “Come on, hurry up! I can smell it all the way from here” The inmate yelled excitedly.
The guard carrying the large bacon cheeseburger walks noticeably slower, seemingly making an effort to make his footsteps gave away the change of pace. Finally arriving at the cell door, the guard holds on to the meal, as if wishin... | 15 | most_different |
18 | 1,436,275,045 | 47 | Retell a famous story from the POV of a non-human object or character. | *Oh, man, this chick is crazy!* thought the hairpin.
"Romeo, I love you!"
*So don't poison yourself you dummie!* hairpin really wished it could talk.
*thud*
*Well, there she goes*
"Juliet!" Romeo ran up to the tomb, and gasped "No-o-o!" He took poison and drank it.
*Oh, these dumb teenagers. Talk to your dad, com... | 19 | most_different |
32 | 1,417,127,711 | 217 | Aliens land on earth, but they do so in levitating castles and wizards towers. It turns out that most galactic civilizations rely on magic instead of technology. | When the Grand Mage Kal summoned a great storm to chill the world, Gerard Petit, Ph. D, and his associates at Oxford conjured fusion to warm it.
When Desmond the Gap Strider leapt from the Earth to the Moon, Michael Smithson, mechanical engineer, and the brightest minds at Boeing built a vessel to carry a thousand on ... | 153 | most_different |
14 | 1,396,999,234 | 37 | Write about a quiet moment, where nothing much seems to happen, and make me feel the emotions of what is really happening. | Janice swept the sidewalk in front of 1-800-FLOWERS with a smile. Days like this were rare in Seattle. No rain, lots of sun, warm weather. The portly woman looked out at the park as she swept. She smiled even wider when she noticed the man sitting on the bench, watching the children. Even rarer than sun in seattle was ... | 10 | most_different |
1 | 1,423,961,634 | 14 | You gain the power of being the person you see in a photo for one day, the day the picture was taken | The man sat in his darkened apartment, drinking alone. His clothes were tossed around the room in heaped bundles, along with the scattered remains of various takeaway boxes. Slowly he scanned the room, fighting against the surge of solitude deep in his heart.
No. One more time.
He looked back at the photograph. A ha... | 10 | most_different |
15 | 1,590,885,002 | 25 | There has been a string of identical bizarre deaths in the city lately -- victims starving to death in homes full of perfectly fine food. | The police investigated and found that all the victims were members of the same church.
So they went to the pastor and asked him, "Do you recognize these names?"
And the pastor replied, "Of course. These were some of my holiest members. Always tithed. Never missed a day of church. Sat up front. Sang the loudest. Vol... | 11 | most_different |
7 | 1,471,835,591 | 24 | A big brother government has formed a new department that screens all media for anti-propaganda messages. The problem? The department is full of literature teachers. | "This one right here," said Johnson. "Page 213."
Chief Williams scanned the text, shaking his head in disbelief.
"The Kit Kat jingle? It can't be."
"It's a clear symbol of socialist principles. The phrase 'Give me a break,' doubles as the slogan of a disgruntled labor union. See here, how it repeats throughout the... | 12 | most_different |
3 | 1,622,345,963 | 183 | You have never seen anyone blink in person during your entire life. People tell you they also blink. They just happen to blink when you do. You only see people blink in videos, but maybe it's just a conspiracy. You're going insane. | While sharing space on the metro, you see a beautiful woman and decide to wink at her with your right eye, and your left eye open.
While executing the wink, your open eye, for the duration of the wink, registers that you have witnessed this lady wink back at you the EXACT SAME TIME YOU WINKED, as this is the first ti... | 14 | most_different |
4 | 1,472,055,978 | 53 | After the First World War, generals and the public are so terrified of modern weapons like gas and machine guns that they are to be banned at Versailles, and medieval weapons are to be re introduced for war. | Lieutenant General Chuikov of the Red Army stared out into the distance as the German cavalry arrived at Stalingrad, after being nearly decimated at Leningrad. He looked over at his men in the trenches, armed to the teeth with machine guns.
"Versailles really was one stupid joke, after all. I'm so very glad we weren'... | 14 | most_different |
20 | 1,432,669,909 | 19 | You are pitching a new weapon to potential buyers. | GREETINGS, SMALL-MINDED LACKEYS OF THE FALSE EMPEROR!
DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THE FEEBLE WEAPONS YOU CLUTCH AS YOU MARCH BLINDLY TO SLAUGHTER IN THE NAME OF A LIFELESS HUSK STRAPPED TO A THRONE OF LIES AND THINK, "IF ONLY I HAD A WEAPON THAT WASN'T AN EMBARRASSMENT TO THE SACRED BUTCHERY OF WAR!"?
OF COURSE YOU HAVE, YOU... | 14 | most_different |
32 | 1,523,631,746 | 523 | An overly enthusiastic human engineer describes gunpowder to his horrified elf girlfriend after she asked why human soldiers had knives attached under wood and metal sticks. | FADE IN:
EXT. AN INVENTOR'S WORKSHOP – DAY
*The sounds of footsteps and quiet, slightly anxious breathing are heard as tree branches and foliage are pulled aside by an unseen hand. Through the clearing that they make, a young man in leather coveralls is visible. This is PELLINORE, an engineer. He whistles tunelessly ... | 302 | most_different |
10 | 1,423,752,301 | 37 | it's not easy... turning man into machine | "It’s not easy... turning a man into a machine..." lectured the doctor to the five men standing around the room. “It is however a necessity for both science and for this man.”
The men turned their eyes from the doctor to the charred man strewn across the table. The man was missing three of his four limbs; the entire l... | 12 | most_different |
21 | 1,624,906,945 | 1,497 | "Save big money at Menards!" Isn't a jingle. A rapper by the name of "Big Money," has been trapped inside of Menards for years. Through subtle hints coming from the tv, you're finally starting to understand what's happening. | My name is Tom Farland. I work as a camera operator at Eirk Marketing Corp. For the past three years I've been working on a project with Menard's based around their jingle "Save big money at Menards!" In the course of this project I've discovered a serious problem. I'm recording my thoughts in this entry on the off... | 177 | most_different |
53 | 1,622,049,696 | 604 | The Little Red Riding Hood is one of many "Riding Hoods." Each one has a name in the format of (adjective) + (color) + Riding Hood. And they each have a unique skill based on their names. | ***Identification Guide for Riding Hoods***
There are four known and well-documented types of Riding Hoods. However, at least a dozen more are believed to exist. Research is ongoing as we strive to learn more about these elusive creatures. If you have spotted unusual Riding Hood activity in your area, please contact t... | 204 | most_different |
28 | 1,418,122,657 | 31 | A drug for eternal life has been developed. There's only one catch... | In the year 2048, the most incredible creation man has ever done was completed. A pill, to be taken every night, that would ensure a human could liver forever. At first, only the elite could afford it. But as the years went on it became more readily available. There was one side-effect that even to this day remains a c... | 46 | most_different |
4 | 1,623,221,635 | 39 | Humanity finally made first contact with aliens. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, until someone made the discovery that an alien corporation had been copying media from Earth. You are a lawyer who is representing the corporation | \- Is a rip-off of "Friends."
\- "Friends"? No. We call it "Blarhgs" It has been a hit in Alpha Centaury and Andromeda for several decades.
\- And I am telling you that it is a line by line copy of our sitcom "Friends." Same with pretty much everything else we have seen in the new channels you hook us up; 'The 5th b... | 10 | most_different |
13 | 1,438,533,313 | 13 | Adam and Eve are alone in the Garden of Eden, talking about what to name an animal, when somebody taps them on their shoulders. | The furry critter skittered up a tree while Adam and Eve argued over whether to call it a squirrel or a bush-tail nut-eater. Their argument was cut short by a quick tapping on both of their shoulders.
They turned around to face another naked man with long, curly blond hair and a perfectly chiseled physique. “Steve!” ... | 11 | most_different |
4 | 1,642,690,324 | 265 | When you were 6 you made a paper boat and let it loose in the nearby river. 20 years later in the same river your paper boat returned with a fleet of ship, some contains treasures, some contains an army of men and some contains what seems your dream lover. | On rain-seasoned streets
I let sail the USS Homework,
Graded C minus
But sea-worthy.
It bobbed and dipped
Into the storm sewer's dark.
Journey well, fair ship.
As did I.
And two decades hence,
I returned to show my daughter
The home I lived in
Before I was Father.
And the ship returned then too,
Tying off ... | 42 | most_different |
31 | 1,414,332,721 | 139 | In 1943 a German soldier takes s gold watch off an American he killed. Twenty years later, he arrives in Philadelphia to return the watch to the man's son. | Max, while on his flight to America, tells a stranger the story of how he killed a man, took his watch, and the years of guilt he suffered because of it. He tells the stranger "I've spent nearly a decade tracking the man's son down to return the watch. I don't expect forgiveness for what I've done, but I'll do everythi... | 36 | most_different |
53 | 1,448,902,597 | 850 | Humanity has contacted hundreds of alien civilizations. All of them have one legend in common -- the fat guy in a red suit who gives gifts to good little children. | There are only two planets inhabited by sentient species in the known universe that do not believe in the mysterious, pan-galactic entity known as "Santa Claus."
For the first planet, simply called Ssssssk, the reason for this disbelief is a matter of biology and history. Ssssssk is inhabited by only one species - a v... | 376 | most_different |
29 | 1,435,982,185 | 153 | Humanity has finally cured it's need to sleep with a very cheap, easily manufactured pill. It only took 5 years for the side effects to become apparent. | As one of the first mass produced, mass consumed, for lack of a better word "performance enhancing" drugs we were forced to rethink our definition of side effects.
Pre Sleep-Away side effects referred to possible physical and/or psychological effects brought on purely by the drug (i.e GutBGone had the side effect of m... | 135 | most_different |
5 | 1,453,624,472 | 14 | "Team Fortress 2" Directed by Quentin Tarantino | *scene is a detective's office*
"So what do you want me to do?" enquired the BLU spy, as he blew smoke rings above the Scout's head.
"Find this basterd, and kill him." The scout threw down a black and white picture of the RED spy onto the spy's desk.
"Is there any reason to do so?"
"He did something to me."
"To y... | 10 | most_different |
3 | 1,643,593,396 | 97 | Your paranoid fast food CEO made sure the restaurants would be sealed and survive a nuclear apocalypse. And thanks to a mandatory 400 year cryogenic stasis, so would the employees. | A bright red light on one of the pods begins to flash as it releases a loud hiss. Steam pours out in all directions as a door flings open. The body of a young man falls to the floor, still in uniform with the little visor and a name tag. He doesn’t move, but does eventually start to breathe slowly.
The hissing stops. ... | 21 | most_different |
39 | 1,480,001,479 | 691 | Each month, a member of the Exotic Meats Club hosts a dinner and tries to one-up the last month's host. Ever since Karl hunted and served a Yeti, things have started getting... weird. | Exotic Meats Club:
...
...
...
10/12/1998: Albert: Ostrich wings, roasted.
10/15/1998: Ben: panda chop cooked medium-rare.
11/02/1998: Karl: Yeti flesh roasted with acorn atop a campfire.
11/12/1998: Igor: Dragon meat served on their scales.
11/20/1998: Albert : Kraken sausage and exotic spices.
11/29/1998: He... | 461 | most_different |
3 | 1,630,624,732 | 83 | The law says that a person is only allowed to carry an absolute maximum of thirty-five flashlights at a time. If you're found carrying flashlights above the legal limit, for any reason, the punishment is summary execution. | I thought the law was made up the first time I heard about it, I mean who would believe something so ridiculous? Execution for carrying more than 35 flashlights? That’s dumb. Then at 16 my dumbass friend disappeared along with his whole family after telling me he was going to get 36 flashlights and carry them around. T... | 10 | most_different |
13 | 1,643,598,119 | 265 | The Wheel Of Time - a gameshow where one competitor is sent to survive for 24 hours in a random period of human history, such as the dark ages, the future age, the ice age, chosen by a spinning wheel. | The announcer, draped in a deep purple robe and chains of garish imitation gold, stepped onto the podium. The cameras leveled at him, and he flashed a toothy grin.
"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen and all in between, to the Wheel!"
He waited for a moment, but none of the audience shouted with him. A man in the bark sh... | 64 | most_different |
4 | 1,402,247,289 | 28 | Describe the events surrounding the first time humans ate hot peppers. | "That goat is crying," explained the daughter, by drawing a goat with tears into the sand with a stick.
"Is he hurt?" asked her father, by drawing a bite and blood gushing from the goat's flank.
"No," the daughter indicated by crossing out the picture.
"Is his mate dead?" asked the father, drawing a dead female goat... | 19 | most_different |
15 | 1,467,653,176 | 521 | An immortal married couples daily argument in 1492, 1800s, and 2017. | **1492: England**
"This village is filthy, Arthur. Have ye seen the hair on Gwendolyn next door? Rats gnaw on it nightly, I declare," said Frances, looking distrustfully around their hovel.
"Woman, must we quibble about our home every day? We move every year, and yet you have never been satisfied," Arthur growled, sl... | 350 | most_different |
11 | 1,453,467,988 | 13 | Write a children's bedtime story but in the style of scientific/mathematical texts. | Let us say there are three variables of bear temperament: b1, b2, and b3. b1 equals 5, the modifier of the temper of an infantile bear specimen. b2 equals that of a mother bear's, or 2. b3 equals a father bear's, or 3. There is also the variable, g, which modifies the product a where a= total anger and g=integer repres... | 11 | most_different |
7 | 1,609,479,822 | 24 | You are a backpack. You've been everywhere your carrier has, tasted, read, watched and listened to everything they brought with them. Your carrier has died and it's your turn to speak at the funeral. | It has been 4 weeks and it is still hard to believe that she’s dead. Only some time ago, I remember us having fun in the forest, but now she’s no more among us. She’s dead. My Dora the Explorer is dead.
We’ve been together on countless adventures. I was so excited when I was chosen after the audition for playing the r... | 10 | most_different |
7 | 1,659,787,845 | 345 | It's not that vampires are particularly weak to sunlight. It's more that the sun absolutely hates vampires. Sixteen minutes and forty seconds of light lag, then the beam hits. And if it happens to miss? The next shot won't be the kind that needs to aim. | Ra, the great Sun god of Egypt surveyed his dominion from his golden solar boat.
He appeared worried and haggard despite his radiance and was particularly looking at a specific region on earth just above his beloved Egypt. What he saw did not please him.
Aphophis, his great serpent nemesis and brother was finally def... | 123 | most_different |
16 | 1,423,428,640 | 75 | The (insert disaster here) has happened. Every one is gone/dead. You put one last post on Reddit. "Is anyone there?" There is one comment the date is many years into the future. The comment reads, "Do not lose hope." The weirdest part is, it's your username. | *TimetravelingGuide 1 point posted 5 days ago*
_______________________________________________________________
God damn it. If anyone is still out there, apparently large sewage systems are enough to delay the gas in major cities. Hanging out below the Farmers Market in down town LA. Is anyone still out there? It doe... | 31 | most_different |
6 | 1,405,192,419 | 16 | A high stakes pencil fight from a childs perspective | "We had come to an ideological impasse. I couldn't stand the clicking of his mechanicals, and he couldn't appreciate the sweet music of my sharpener. The powder keg blew when he asked if my mom was too poor to buy me mechanicals. I put a #2 right through his book report to show him I meant business. He pulled out two o... | 10 | most_different |
7 | 1,450,283,927 | 21 | The last man on Earth gets a knock on the door, and it's Christmas carolers | "Dashing through the snow,
on a pair of broken skis,
down the hill we go,
crashing into trees!
Ouch ouch ouch!
The snow is turning red,
I think I'm almost dead,
I woke up in the hospital
with stitches in my head.
OHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
"Hold up." I raise my hands, making the T for time out. I continue, shaking my head a... | 10 | most_different |
5 | 1,621,388,306 | 199 | “Doctor patient confidentiality ends when the patient dies” claimed the first lawyer “My client isn’t dead” he gestured to the lady next to him “so they had no right to see her files” “She isn’t alive!” “She might not be alive, but she isn’t dead. And undead individuals still have rights” | Martha Harlingen et. al. vs the Cleveland Cryo Center
On writ of certiorari to the United States court of appeals for the federal circuit
Justice Ng delivered the opinion of the court.
The petitioners Ms Harlingen and her family, in order to prolong the legacy of Ms Harlingen, used the services provided by the defen... | 15 | most_different |
6 | 1,408,819,861 | 40 | In the afterlife, therapists help out people who were killed in horrifying ways. | Therapy Notes, Saturday the 23rd of August, 2014.
9.30 am - Carleen Porter, was aged 41, hit by a car and died after 26 miles of being dragged. Has particularly revengeful thoughts towards driver of said car. However cannot become vengeful ghost owing to phobia of engines and tarmac. (2nd visit)
10.30 am - Paul Faul... | 11 | most_different |
11 | 1,452,196,212 | 23 | The God Of Inconvenience | Look, I know it isn't big or fancy. But it's my job and I'm proud of it. Sure Zeus may swan around, throwing out lightning bolts like they were expired candy, but I I'm proud of my work. I'm the god that makes sure you can never find that second sock, that one who makes sure the laundry always comes out slightly damp, ... | 10 | most_different |
9 | 1,411,419,046 | 19 | Write about a scenario where each character has to swear atleast once when the speak, while making it seem out of place. | **Warning: Fairly obvious, but a lot of cuss words.**
"Are we fucking there yet?" three year old Timmy asked his dad.
"No, you little motherfucker, we're not," his dad replied. "This damn traffic is going to make us late, that's for sure.
"Yeah, these drivers are all cunts," Timmy said.
"Well said, my little bastar... | 16 | most_different |
10 | 1,419,869,543 | 27 | Jerry the Tortoise is the subject of radical genetic experiments that give him human levels of intelligence. Years later, the project loses funding and Jerry is released. Write about a day in his life living in human society | Jerry woke up on a cool spring morning in the southern end of Central Park. He stretched his little tortoise legs, got out of his shell, and began his morning commute. He made his way to his favourite hot dog station. He was there in a little under an hour.
“The usual today, Jerry?”
“You bet, Stan.” Jerry responded, ... | 26 | most_different |
20 | 1,412,273,268 | 65 | Write about a subject that seems inherently sad, but twist it to have a happy feel. | He stood behind the railing of a balcony on the 48th floor. Beneath him, cars' headlights painted lines against the dark street through the filter of his tearful eyes.
He stared for a long time. His face first showed grief and regret, then it was gradually replaces by cold acceptance. The only way out was down.
No... | 25 | most_different |
15 | 1,427,476,045 | 69 | The tomb of the Unknown Solider is constantly guarded for a reason. Today if your first shift as guard. | “Wake up, son. They’re coming.”
“Tommy Lee Jones?” The soldier looks confused.
“Look to the skies, son. We can’t have them waking him up.”
“Waking who up?”
“The unknown soldier.”
THIS SUMMER
**Sporadic shots of heavy gunfire and screaming**
The tomb cracks and dark clouds pour out. Men are slowly engulfed in... | 29 | most_different |
8 | 1,623,459,603 | 229 | The world rests atop a giant turtle that swims through space. Every thousand years it spawns, releasing hundreds of country-sized young that are sought after by people who want a fresh start - and the power to shape a new world. | The old man sits on the Moon, legs neatly crossed, his rod firm in the crook of his arm. He yawns, though it is only for fun; he has never felt tiredness before. Squinting his eyes into the star-filled distance, he can just barely make out the Great One slowly making Her way around the curve of the Sun.
“Has She spawn... | 29 | most_different |
16 | 1,440,618,448 | 18 | God decides to punish the American people with 10 new plagues. | "This is what the LORD says: By this you will know that I am the LORD: With the staff that is in my hand I will strike the water of the Mississippi and all other rivers , and it will be changed into Mountain Dew. The fish in the will die, and the river will stink and the Americans will not be able to drink its water."
... | 10 | most_different |
267 | 1,608,057,103 | 10,433 | Some say that your power is future sight. Others insist that you have superhuman intellect. They're wrong. Your power is the ability "Quicksave." | Loading state 2521632-C...
“-will be finished! now you die!”
Dodge left, duck, dodge right, retaliate punch, kick, backflip onto platform.
“Impossible! How could you have predicted my attacks so well? I took every liberty to make sure you couldn’t!”
“Well I’ve already seen this fight hundreds of times, and I must s... | 2,756 | most_different |
6 | 1,391,413,944 | 42 | It is discovered that three out of five smokers die. The other two obtain immortality. | It's worth a shot, I reckon as I twist the cigarette between my fingers
It's worth a shot, I think as I febreeze the shit out of everything in my room
It's worth a shot, I guess, as I light up for the fifth time that day
It's worth a shot, as I can't run for the bus and the cough plagues me for up to ten minutes ... | 12 | most_different |
24 | 1,421,948,441 | 123 | Apocalypse breaks on a university campus, and it's every academic department for itself. Every department is insistent on using its field of study in surviving post-apocalypia, despite how ill-fitting it may be. | **UNIVERSITY OF MEGIDO HERALD**
*Editor’s Note: This edition is brought to you curtesy of the printing press found in the basement of the Patmos Library. The Megido School of Journalism would like to remind you that the fifth estate is an essential part of free and totalitarian societies alike.*
Last week’s sto... | 62 | most_different |
72 | 1,523,194,411 | 797 | In a world filled with magical beings, you're the only one without magic, but that's okay when punching things has gotten you this far in life. | Crunk is not like everyone. Crunk was born with tusks and “bad skins” as the small men say. Crunk does not shine like the others. Crunk can’t do magic like the others. Crunk tried to be like everyone but Crunk can’t. Crunk cannot make fire or water. Crunk cannot even fly like others can. Crunk can’t do what most robes ... | 254 | most_different |
30 | 1,407,237,384 | 18 | Scare me without mentioning ghosts, monsters or murderers | In the end, we have no more insignificance than significance. We simply are, other things simply are. The universe doesn't weigh us, it doesn't scold us or put us down... it doesn't care. In an objective sense things are not insignificant any more than they're significant, because significance requires a judge... to be... | 13 | most_different |
9 | 1,653,272,527 | 61 | Every time you turn around you smoothly transfer to another universe that is ever so slightly different. To stay in the same universe, you keep count of how many times you turn in one direction and balance it out by turning the other way around. | Victor Mayhew sat in a metal folding chair in the Corwintown art museum, where his latest work was being displayed. It was a lifesize oil painting, a surround-view series of canvases. It started with a local dirt road, with the familiar cornfield to the left and cow pasture to the right. It continued along the cow p... | 18 | most_different |
4 | 1,417,990,255 | 18 | The President rushes into his office and pulls a fire alarm labeled "NOPE" | It was a nervous reaction to his spider complex that required the "NOPE" alarm under his desk, which released the spider poison immediately in an upside-down squirt bottle above the alarm. This special poison was developed at US labs and completely harmless to humans. There's no way a spider's going to get him with th... | 10 | most_different |
8 | 1,640,008,752 | 451 | The hero finally caught the villain. The villain is arrested for 6 attempted murders while the hero is arrested for the 400 minions murdered getting to the villain. | "Are you kidding me!?" Captain Marble slammed the paper down on the desk, his rocky hands almost breaking it in the process. "I saved an entire city! Where's that written down!?" The handcuffed doctor let out his trademark laugh.
"Well, you see my stone-faced friend. You can't prove that my invention was supposed to b... | 23 | most_different |
6 | 1,617,481,314 | 110 | Earth defeated the invaders by destroying the hive mind. Now it’s just a matter of rounding up the pod people that had integrated themself into our society. One of them is your spouse. You hadn’t realized they had been replaced. You just thought that the two of you were falling in love again. | Was it true that penguins mated for life?
Onscreen, an emperor penguin waddled across the swath of barren white. It wasn’t clear from Barry’s eyes whether he was registering the images, or whether his ears registered the words, or whether nature’s quiescence and Attenborough’s drift of words merely served as creature ... | 27 | most_different |
1 | 1,397,088,173 | 14 | You are declared the winner of a competition you didn't even enter, with a huge cash prize. | "No."
The announcer froze.
"I'm sorry, sir, what did you say?"
"No." The man's voice was raspy, like the sound of gravel. "It isn't mine."
The announcer's face was stuck mid-way between a smile and confusion as he looked at the camera. "Care to... uh... elaborate, sir?"
"I didn't win." The man walked away from th... | 12 | most_different |
7 | 1,424,176,706 | 44 | Instead of getting fat/skinny, people get tall/short. Write the latest commercial for a popular height loss program. | [opening shot of 8 foot tall woman easily reaching into a cabinet above her refrigerator]
Woman: "Sure, being tall has it's advantages, but it also has it's disadvantages"
[Shot of same woman attempting to get comfortable in a 6 foot long bed, throwing the covers back and forth, turning on all sides with dramatic fla... | 24 | most_different |
27 | 1,480,369,968 | 136 | Write an obituary that totally ignores a famous person's biggest achievements. | LOS ANGELES--Mr. W, 55, died Sunday, November 28th, 2038, after a long struggle with pudenda addiction and mental illness. He leaves behind a daughter, N., a son, S., with his first wife, and a son, J., with his second.
Born and raised in Illinois, Mr. W. was a lifelong devotee of numerous arts, and opened a number of... | 45 | most_different |
12 | 1,408,999,761 | 31 | Even without words, there is something we both understand. | Even without words there are things that we all understand. Some things cross all nationalities, all boundaries, all races and creeds. A conversation had with our eyes. It’s easier for some than others. A couple that’s been together for decades, perhaps, can say more with their eyes and quicker than they could speak th... | 10 | most_different |
6 | 1,589,859,427 | 24 | In a world of magic, humans are separated by magical attributes rather than race. Every year, a ceremony is held to determine the attribute of children coming of age one by one. It is finally your turn on the podium. As the glowing runes swirling around you slowly dissipate, one remains: Void. | The void rune, it haven't activate in centuries, for a reason of course, the only way the void rune would even activate is if a person is born with no other magical attributes
You see, just because your proficiency is water doesn't mean you can't perform earth or air magic or sometimes fire magic even if would be extre... | 11 | most_different |
21 | 1,600,257,534 | 228 | You are an intelligent system designed to protect against extinction level events. For millions of years you have been cloaked at the edge of the solar system destroying meteors. As a meteor seeded with biological life hurtles towards the Earth, you have a decision to make. | \-Object detected
\-Trajectory calculated
\-Target confirmed: Planet 3
\-Estimated time to impact: Approximately 5846 hours
\-Possible solutions: Deflect, Destroy, Allow
\-Scanning object
\-Chemical signatures detected
\-Refined search for life bearing compounds initiated
\-Compounds detected
\-Calculating lik... | 141 | most_different |
32 | 1,423,754,821 | 101 | Describe an utopian and a dystopian society, which differ in only a single thing. | It is fear that was at the root of everything, nothing more.
It was said that at the beginning of time there were two brothers, the brothers were inseparable and spent all day running and playing in the woods, unafraid of anything or anyone.
One day, the two bothers were wrestling and one threw the other into a str... | 97 | most_different |
5 | 1,448,996,132 | 14 | A disease who's symptoms seem good, even helpful at first. But as time goes on they turn out to be horrifying. | The origins of the Intelligence Quotient Virus are shrouded in mystery. The only concrete facts we have about it now are that it was first seen in the U.S., and that its genetic code is largely man made. The first several victims were all hospitalized with menengitis-like symptoms, including headache, fever, and pain a... | 11 | most_different |
7 | 1,596,209,476 | 99 | You only gave the crab a gun as a joke, but now it's turned safety off and is aiming directly at you. | She was just a normal crustacean, walking along the beach, until scientists from Evil Corp captured her. Escaping from Evil Corp's labs, she came to your house, and now she has your gun and is pointing it at you. You just gave it to her as a joke, but now it's serious business. The safety is off, the gun is aimed stra... | 31 | most_different |
174 | 1,637,218,854 | 5,740 | For some reason, you always suspected that your high school classmate can read minds. Determined to trip her, you keep cracking jokes in your mind, hoping to make her laugh, to no avail. One day, while idly thinking about how it would be to date her, you see her get flustered. | Morgan Greene is a mind reader. At least, that’s what I know even if no one else in the student body believes me. It’s hard to come up with hard evidence for telepathy, but there are a few too many things that don’t line up.
Top 5 reasons why Morgan Greene is legitimately a mind reader:
1. Morgan Greene always has th... | 3,833 | most_different |
42 | 1,431,947,797 | 177 | Re-write the story of Jesus' arrest, execution and resurrection like it was a major world event happening in 2015 | "Drama today in the middle east as the leader of a radical Jewish cult claims to have come back from the dead. We go now to our Middle East Correspondent, Tony Wallace with the report."
***Cut to tracking shot across Jerusalem.***
"What began several weeks ago as the latest in a long line of actions by the Israeli ... | 161 | most_different |
16 | 1,612,591,094 | 298 | You live in a videogame like world where everyone has a visible health bar and everyone knows until you turn the age of 15 you cant lose health. There has been a dragon that has been terrorizing a kingdom as of late that no knight can defeat ... As the king you have an idea to use kids to fight | The king's head rolled into the basket. The townsfolk cheered briefly. Now, they faced a grim task.
The dragon.
One man had been selected and with a bag of gems and gold, he climbed. Up the mountain he went. Oh, the path was easy as the knights who had walked the path had worn it well. It was how the children made it... | 95 | most_different |
7 | 1,422,211,541 | 32 | License plates are apparently part of a secret government code... A code you just cracked while riding down a highway. | I've discovered the biggest secret in the world.
I'm Henry. And I'm a programmer. I wrote a program to capture and read the license plates of all vehicles. As the program sifted and sorted I began to see patterns in the numbers and letters, so on a whim, I wrote another program to crack this code - if there was a code... | 15 | most_different |
10 | 1,475,782,684 | 35 | "There's something we didn't tell you", Armstrong said. "When Buzz and I were on the moon, we...." | "Guys, it's okay. We know."
The director, sorted the papers on the desk and put them to the side absently as the two ex-astronauts exchanged uneasy glances.
"You mean you knew?"
The director laughed. "You were up there for over a week in total isolation not knowing if you were going to make it back. Honestly, it was... | 28 | most_different |
7 | 1,599,259,556 | 102 | In the future, the world is ruled by a cruel dictator. In a desperate gamble, two operatives of the Resistance are sent to the past, with separate missions. One is sent to try and push the future dictator onto a kinder path. The second is to kill the dictator if the first plan fails. | “Oi, Bob, you really think this gonna work?” A man in the brown uniform of the Resistance said. He had just stepped out of the portal from the future into 2020 A.D.
“Dunno, Ricky. But, we could always resort to killing the little bastard.” Bob said as he checked his pistol for ammo.
The two scraggly men walked out of t... | 16 | most_different |
28 | 1,474,253,911 | 143 | Sir we lost the entire army!" " so they're dead then." " No sir we quite literally lost them." | “Well, where do you usually leave them?” asks the general.
“Around London or Yorkshire. But I distinctly remember bringing them over to the continent when I left!” the colonel replies, exasperated.
“Here, have some tea, my dear chap. Where did you last see them?”
“Paris. Or Lyon. I don’t really remember, to be hones... | 77 | most_different |
6 | 1,646,607,977 | 112 | "But those are front businesses - specifically to cover up the criminal activity!" "I understand, it's a different direction for the Mob to go. I'm just saying that currently we make more money from our legal ventures than our illegal ones." | Dexter parks his car across the street, and walks toward the unsuspecting home not too far from downtown Chicago. He checks the windows of the neighboring houses, and pinches his nose with an extended pinky. The men in the windows nod, and continue watching him as he approaches the front door. Before Dexter can ring th... | 29 | most_different |
116 | 1,436,114,640 | 1,364 | A regular, everyday instance of the Reddit meme "I see your 'X' and raise you my 'Y' " escalates to the point of World War 3. | It all started when the President posted a photo of himself with his dog, a small Pomeranian that could melt the coldest of hearts, on his Twitter account, with the attached message: "Cutest dog in the world #therealvp". Nobody could have realized that it would lead to the end of the world.
The next day, a picture wa... | 1,266 | most_different |
4 | 1,611,275,986 | 34 | you realize that the woman who sells seashells down by the seashore doesn’t actually sell ordinary seashells. | She sells seashells by the seashore. This would, per common logic, be a terrible business model. The seashells are, when all is said and done, fairly common by the seashore. She doesn't own the seashore, and therefore anyone could reasonably be expected to go and find their own seashells, if one was inclined to begin a... | 17 | most_different |
8 | 1,447,952,374 | 37 | God has a tendency to be a bit melodramatic. The great flood, the 10 plagues, the second coming- a little underwhelming. Pick a biblical event and re-write it from the perspective of those who came, saw, and rolled their eyes. | Sticky the dockworker was working on a row boat when the hordes came.
He was chewing on a sprig of straw, humming to himself while he hammered corks into the bottom of the boat, in the light of the Egyptian day, when a shadow fell over him.
Sticky turned around, his hands covered in mud and wood splinters, and watche... | 24 | most_different |
15 | 1,418,451,094 | 54 | A very small and mostly unheard of nation suddenly declares war on the United States. 1 year later, to everyone's surprise, they win. | "The Principality of Sealand sent notice on April 1st last year in what many regarded as an act of holiday foolery. And while the Declaration of War was read aloud on the Senate floor, most of the senasenators laughed as they voted in favor of a declared war. And so the episode passed from the public consciousness."
T... | 43 | most_different |
12 | 1,660,610,851 | 138 | The afterlife takes the form of what humanity collectively thinks it looks like. After humanity discovered the fact, an international effort began to transform the afterlife into a luxury resort. | After the mind blowing discovery of an afterlife based on human perception, Pedro aimed to make a little profit off the idea. What followed was an ambitious attempt to make a beautiful resort that everyone in the world would visit once a year. Pedro had the finances, the influence, and more than a million square feet t... | 43 | most_different |
54 | 1,472,482,662 | 46 | In a clearing deep in the forest, where it seems no one would go, a small teashop has just opened up. | The tea shop was in the middle of a small clearing deep within the large forest. It had no name, only a white flower painted on the door.
Only a few travelers made their way to the little tea shop.
One was a tall, skinny teenager with tattoos all over his body. He was very loud, but he was accepted at the little t... | 17 | most_different |
106 | 1,623,800,748 | 3,582 | The love of your life drops to one knee in front of you. Looking deep into your eyes they say: "Will you... Conquer the world with me?" | I’m all for breaking social norms
My girlfriend, on one knee, held a golden ring adorned with a sapphire gemstone. My immediate thought was ‘woah.’ My immediate thought following that immediate thought was realizing why she asked for my ring size a couple of weeks ago.
And my third immediate thought was ‘the fuck?’
... | 1,135 | most_different |
39 | 1,422,498,977 | 71 | Write a poem that is desperately trying not to rhyme. | Two roads diverged in a yellow forest,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I was able to
To where it bent in the underbrush;
Then took the other, as just as just,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as ... | 18 | most_different |
7 | 1,399,228,987 | 20 | One thousand monkeys. One thousand typewriters. One thousand little writing prompts. | Two men were standing on the metal landing above a fire escape style staircase, surveying the scene in front of them. Ten rows of one hundred desks stretched out, each with a typewriter on top of them. At each desk sat what at first looked like a man in a brown suit, from this distance at least, however the unearthly s... | 19 | most_different |
5 | 1,463,253,448 | 75 | A caveman has invented grammar. It's beginning to make everyone else kinda pissy. | Inside a musky cave burned a small fire, and around it sat three hunkered figures. The elder of the three sat exluded from the others, shaking his fists and making noises of contempt at the other two. "Ug" he pointed at himself, "doka da *Thag.*" Placing explicit emphasis on the last noise, he then pointed across the f... | 11 | most_different |
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