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DepressionDetection

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i can t keep running from how empty i feel how everything feel so forced and fake i m and the social problem began from a very young age the familial problem also i guess i learned from a very young age to brush thing under the rug and bury all of my emotion to the point where i ve been detached from myself for probably year now i ve been to therapy different time and am likely starting again soon but to be honest i don t think it s going to go anywhere until i can be honest with myself but i literally don t know how it s like there s this pit of intense pain that s constantly buried deep within my chest that i suppose will either give me answer or kill me from shame all i know is socializing is completely traumatizing to me school a well i don t know if anybody can relate but i just don t know how to figure myself out or if it s just all in my head i must sound so crazy to anybody reading this but please if you have any question it might really help me to be able to answer them anonymously and unpack stuff i m committed to understanding why everybody treat me like i m some freak i know i m not completely hideous but beyond that i don t think i know what s going on there s like this deep disconnect between how i act even by myself and who i am internally i believe i don t know if any of this make sense but please ask about my childhood or whatever i got ta understand even if it kill me

tumblr this is exactly how it feel wearing a tie http tinyurl com c bvqh

wish she didn t have om homework to do right now

argh ive eaton so so much today

i guess part of me didn t really want to die so i m heading back home now

i need help but every time i reach out for help it dose not work out i m tired of feeling sad and bad about my self no one care abt how i feel no one want to know how i feel i m ready for my name to be on back of my team mate helmet on saturday when we take the field even with that no one will pay attention all 0k plus s that s full up the stadium when we play this is my cry for help

new podcast alert surreyscorchers guard cayraf9 join the mvp cast to reveal his retirement plan and how he dealt with depression by learning to speak up http t co s t9b dvs

avisionofbeauty your phone doesn t like it sorry

sad sad sad i don t know why but i hate this feeling i wan na sleep and i still can t

anti p longtemps j ai cru que mon mec tait un enfoir la veille de me r gles j ai fait aussi une d pression post partum parait que c tait li le hormone montent progressivement puis s croulent d un coup pr sent je consulte mon agenda qd c est la fin du monde

just finished watching the movie prayer for bobby broke my heart

that s when i ll do it one month after i turn i ll take my parent car out to a shed and block the exhaust pipe i ll leave it running and take a bunch of pill and fall asleep in the back seat a peaceful way to go out i hope it work i can t wait

feel like i am comming down with something let s hope it s just a cold

it s been five year and a couple day now since my first major attempt i m not too sure how i feel to be honest ha life improved well not really of course after that first attempt i tried a couple more time i think if we look at the net value i m relatively in the same spot a i wa five year ago vibing on the bridge thankfully i m not too upset about that i think sadness and my inability to get out of said sadness is something that i will have to live with i m getting better at fighting it that s for sure are some day tiring and fucking unbearable of course but now i m just content with existing sad day are hard some day are easy i think i m just shocked that i m still alive well i definitely know that younger me would be shocked i m still kicking around maybe he d be happy that i stayed for this long there really isn t any point to this post just a bit of selfish self congratulation and the ability to say i m still alive guy i hope everyone ha a good day it s raining where i am but it s really nice to look at

clairerichard all of em

leanne is angry at me

janinesd no i m poor i am not an rn yet so i still have mobi lol

i don t know if i want to die but i wish i wasn t ever born i am so fucking confused i constantly imagine myself getting hit by a train or jumping from high building i browse way to get oneself killed all i have are negative thought i imagine myself killed in accident or fight i am on medical study and i am not fucking interested in anything that these study involve i hate each and every one of people that are in here my group are all guy whose goal in life is to fucking learn a much a they can and boast about it later if they only have chance destroying other people by chance they are not fucking human i tell you their mindset is fascist hurting and non respective for others that i sometimes ditch fucking day on uni because of it they are fake pretending to be your friend while the other day they plunge you in front of every other my friendship with my only true homies from high school is constantly deteriorating my best friend got himself a girlfriend and got so fucking high on her that he completely lost touch with reality he doesn t fucking care anymore i do not have a girlfriend nor a chance to get one i do not have perspective for my life my real ambition are completely separate from the path that i ve already chosen every day is the same i don t find enjoyment in life i hate degenerate humankind but i am somewhat a degenerate myself i suspect myself to be fucking autistic because of symptom that appear in everyday social interaction call me stupid incel or whatever i do not fucking care i just needed to write this

my compassion to the people in italy my mother is calling with our relative in italy right now

a of lately i have been under a considerable amount of stress which cause me to have uncontrollable anxiety about most of the time i m awake now i ve noticed a new side affect from this my nervous habit tic from childhood are starting to come back the more stressed out i am the more i have this strange uncontrollable compulsion to kind of clench tense my abdominal muscle over to my rib cage and also tense my neck muscle a strange a it sound i start to get a very uncomfortable sensation if i don t do it for a certain amount of time this habit is causing a lot of strain on my back side and a lot of stomach pain acid reflux i ve tried working on breathing exercise to stop and distract myself but nothing quite work doe anybody else get these strange nervous habit or tic i have adhd and diagnosed anxiety i m not sure if that would be related i ve considered even seeing a therapist to attempt getting help with this

elvisamponsahk generation yii yare then she throw in some depression card

waiting for godot is a play where nothing happens two men stand at a bus stop waiting for a man named godot to come he never arrives that s existence waiting for someone or something that never arrives i ve been waiting for my friend for a long time and yet they never come i used to think i had a few close friend who would be there for me when i needed them but time ha proven otherwise so i m waiting for godot now but sooner or later i could simply find a ticket and take a bus

we re here to help we are online therapy platform which essentially connects certified psychologist and people suffering from mental health issue such a depression stress and anxiety among dozen of other clinically defined disorder book your appointment now http t co ez mwwwtqf

is at work xx

ha a huge headache but got ta go to work

garygensler secgov aarp finra fordhamlawnyc miamilawschool gary people don t care what they want is clarity on crypto the howie test is outdated and became precedent in an era before the internet even existed let alone the blockchain the sec continues to behave like we have just come out the great depression stifling innovation

fever ha started anyone have any miracle cure for a cold

finally fellow ninja logging into the forum if you ve done so recently can you redo again a it woz a bit broken before

watching greek cant believe it the last day ill see you guy june 0 ahh

spring break is here at last but no one is here to celebrate

finished making chocolate and foot really hurt

nickynocky i pay just over a hundred for me and occasional kid in a house but not metered yours doe sound high then

is wishing he loved me

rickrodgers just kidding man rim doesn t even have a sync client for linux and the opensync package suck at least it can charge lolz

my dota ladder stats on garena don t seem to have been updated

frumiousme t wa the antibiotic for root canal will take polaramine tonight for hive other symptom have gone now thank goodness

now when you say depression are you referring to a map commerce or mental health cuz i know nvmd

good morning world s we got snow again

andreabakes oh gee insomnia suck have you tried melatonin

i m year old and i am so sad because life is pointless i feel like i know everything i know how life is supposed to go get a good job find a significant other do exciting thing together maybe have kid meet new people do different activity all through out life travel to new place get old and die somehow then what this whole idea of life is so boring i hate that i keep looking so far into life so analytically thats how depression make me see everything analytically and it is exhausting because i can never truly truly enjoy something i know life can be beautiful and fun at time in the moment it can be but i don t know why it s just not enough for me there ha to be something else to life something better there ha to be more right how am i supposed to do this everyday until i die that is such a long time i don t know how long i m going to last thinking like this make me the literal most boring person ever i feel bad for my friend the few i have i m so boring i never put passion into conversation because i seriously do not care enough because none of it matter and it s all pointless i feel so bad about myself and for everyone around me i m horrible please please help me find meaning in this gut wrenching life

kal penn i am so sad kutner wa my favorite of the new team

f ck dich ich brauch dich heute bestimmt nicht depression

i m not where i m supposed to be but i ll take this over depression

i m 0 and i m reverting back to my year old self hahahahahahahhahahahahahhaahahah fuck my life i hate everything i just want to not exist

no reason in life

via chrismevans argh driving into london today made a wrong turn at king x stuck in an extra 0 minute of logjam traffic

depression and suicide trying to win but i m fighting this battle

or so i thought

is still sick hate this

etnobofin even google translator doe not get it

adamcurry can i get download version of the dvorak interlude since streaming is banned at work

i m fine i m fine i m fine until once again i m back in the pit and i m wondering how long do i need to keep doing this for when i stare at my computer screen another fucking 9 day of meaningless clicking so i can earn barely enough money to survive comparing myself with other people my age depresses me i m not so successful and i probably didn t live up to anyones expectation including my own but the more i think about it based on all my trauma and self hatred where i am kinda make sense but the thought of i need to continue living like this idling just living in the same page everyday why i have a vacation booked and then what i come back to the same meaningless routine every time after a vacation im more depressed that my life is how it is do i want to change sure how i don t even have the energy or motivation nor do i have the strength or idea some day i feel like im living in my own paradox or dream that my life isn t even real the past few week i been reliving my trauma and all the shit i went through continuously in my head why i don t even know maybe i m trying to understand myself all i get are mood swing bad attitude and burst of anger maybe i should get on med

i never really noticed or i guess wa aware of my depression until a few year ago when i really started losing motivation and interest in my hobby i am a full time university student who work job and right now this depression ha taken a peak i live alone in a bedroom apartment with my dog my living situation is shit but it s not shit my apartment management renovating the entire building so i have drilling throughout the day which suck cause i work night and midnight so when i do need to sleep i can t i want to move out but i can t because i m literally paying cheaper than a bachelor s apartment anywhere else then there s school i don t even know why i m in school at this point i had a plan and dream for myself in high school and honestly my parent ruined that for me when i took my year off and chose to stay home just so i could move out they really made sure to make me feel like shit which just made me feel like shit throughout the four year of me being in university i m supposed to be graduating in spring and i wa stupid enough to go home during the reading week which created a huge confrontation between my mother and i which my dad got involved soon after and it went downhill from there i ended up leaving early and honestly after coming back from my parent house it s like my depression went on a downward spiral i used to have a little motivation to at least do the basic thing to help myself but i literally can t bring myself to do anything schoolwork is a drag and make me hate everyone one job i work at is completely great but i have had so many bad experience with being used by employer and fake employee that i m so pessimistic when i get there and i completely separate myself from other employee my second job is even worse because while i don t want to communicate in my first job my second job no one speaks english like literally the entire store is all people from another country it s kind of ridiculous because training is non existent i literally would be standing around if it wasn t for me having past experience working in the same kind of field the employee turnover is ridiculous and the supervisor when they can communicate to me only complain about how they are only working there so because of their visa but once they are full citizen they leave the hour go by so long and working in complete silence frustrating to the point where i had to start wearing earphone while i work and listen to music anyways after typing all of this i know i won t read it over so sorry for any mistake or thing that aren t clear i think honestly i m just too pessimistic and making excuse for myself but this feeling i have in me and the way everything in life is just so upsetting the breakdown and all the fucking cry like i m so over it and i just want to either be content or at least have some kind of method to get through all of this i m so exhausted and i feel like i keep getting the short end of the stick every time

i ve been ill with sinusitis for about week with vertigo anyway cut to the past day i ve been freaking out a it ha been hard to breathe a it sometimes feel like i m choking on water but one of the scariest thing wa that my mouth ha been a bit foamy could this be from dehydration or could it be from nothing serious i really hope it s nothing serious a i have some other mental health condition that can cause some very scary freak out over something small

where s my heat and grazia subscription he s probably delivered them next door

i miss those day where we used to play till we saw the sun go down now life s just stress stress stress with a huge dollop of depression

i m trying to work on my last assignment of the year but i just can t get that spark all i want to do is lay in the grass and read

jee 0 90 9 sathiyama mudiyala bro day by day romba toxic ah poguthu namakum mentally depression aaguthu

pizza night and i feel too sick

sorry for the depressing post i have some problem that are long term and i suffer every second of everyday i am so tired of the mental pain of suffering everyday my eye will never be the same again and i only use my right eye i don t want to have such a shameful death but i wa wondering if you people believe this can possibly be a good choice i am about to have exhausted all of my treatment option

sorry if this is kinda confusing and messed up i have a hard time putting my thought into word i f would sometimes get suicidal thought whenever i wa going through a bad panic attack but after i calmed down those thought would just disappear and i wa always sure that i would never do that stuff because i knew i only thought that a a quick escape from all the emotional pain and anxiety i wa going through but today those thought wouldn t get out of my head and i d find myself zoning out and planning on how to do it i wasn t even panicking about anything more like just feeling empty and depressed about my current and future life i ve been fighting everyday to feel some genuine happiness in myself and love for others so i can stop putting on this fake smile so everyone doesn t worry about me i miss it so fucking much and lately i ve been getting spark of those feeling again but they quickly dwindle away but now with these thought creeping in i feel like this battle that i ve been fighting for so long is pointless i don t even see a future for myself the people that i love in this life are slowly being consumed with negativity and become more and more toxic to me everyday and i ve noticed myself gaining that same negativity towards others and life and while i know that they re probably going through some stuff and i have sympathy for them it draining me and i can t be around them any longer since they clearly don t want change life been getting hard for me and it sucking the light out of me i don t know what to do about these thought but they won t get out of my fucking head and i m scared they ll get even worse please help me

your brain is lying to you you matter your best is good enough even on the bad day you are amazing you have so much to offer this world

http tr im imov i b c h i tho i th l gi t cu c i r i m nh v n c n nh c i nh t p th b t c a b c ch tr i

people who have had this and she say they have all been the same it s vicious

i tried to tell my boyfriend another family member and a few different friend how much i ve been struggling and have been completely ignored i can guarantee if it all got too much for me they d all be the first to ask why didn t she tell u

icedcoffee they end up back a read only and still the error persists i cant add anything to the library now so cant update my

when the depression hit

marcellariley it wa a repeat tonight for gossip girl

something s wrong i keep getting some error graphic instead of the music player when i go to a musician s myspace page now

want quot someone quot to come over here

being in pain a i have done my back in

i am having my coffee i see frost on the car window i suspected there would be some this am i hope i am not so tired today

gemma brett i made a film with teenage woman who cared for their mum cold house dark room the love shown the tear shed the weight of responsibility the frustration at missed opportunity the depression the anti depressant castaway in their own life the youngest wa

carvin lol they are some emotional as men omg all this late night eating both of u are broke

theekween vhulivhadza help with anxiety depression heart break any traumatic experience and loss of a loved one thelmasherbs

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

here i am back again currently it s am and i m holding back what can only be described a a mental break from my roommate and this dude who s also sleeping over it s really wild how there s a grey area over expression of emotion it s like emotion are only cool to be expressed when it s convenient to others and every other time is just a complete drag on society and those around you

ha been sick and her back is veryyy bad watching american history x wan na watch american beauty though buy it meeee

stuck at home

tw childhood abuse abandonment addiction emotional neglect i think that what it called and sibling abuse ive dealt with the favoritism of my sister since i wa she wa diagnosed with adhd and therefore needed more attention than i have ever received she stopped being my dad favorite after she started criticizing his addiction but that wa around year later i grew up taking care of myself my own need i had nobody it became worse when my dad addiction did he wa nicer to me than my mom who really used me a her own punching bag by screaming at me for anything and everything my dad fully forgot about me he wa my only friend in the family even though like my mom he did care about my sister more but having somebody le bad wa better than having nobody my sister starting abusing me when i wa 0 she wa her mental health wa really bad making my mom cater to her even more than shes already done now my little attention turned into none my sister could and still can do anything to me and would get away scot free she physically mentally and emotionally abused me and i wa only told to suck it up and to just move on this ha gone on for the next year of my life my dad moved out around year ago not without leaving me with another set of trauma now im dealing with cptsd although my sister ha gotten somewhat better she would constantly run away did drug physically hurt everyone in the family and more but shes insanely rude due to my mom letting her do whatever she want and also extremely aggressive i started doing a lot worse im always extremely irritable and angry and ive been dealing with lot of anxiety and severe depression i see a therapist im working hard to get through my trauma but my mother only belief that i should be fine that even after dealing with abuse and being fucking ignored my entire childhood that i should be a okay and act like a normal year old she continues to get angry at me for my outburst which i understand but will then tell me that she doesnt understand why and will then tell me how awful i am and how i dont do anything she doesnt understand that i have lost interest in many thing and refuse to let me take mental health break because for some reason in her fucking mind i dont need them all she doe is tell me how awful i am how i dont do enough how we dont have any money all of this bullshit im not allowed to stand up to my sister because when she attack me even after ive done nothing it all my fault she one time attacked me over fucking brownie brownie im guilt ridden and tired living feel pointless to me at this point i have nothing going for me and what feel like nobody i dont why ive stayed this long maybe it sheer fate or some stupid reason that i cant put my finger on i know that soon enough ill be suicidal again a surprise surprise going through this much trauma make people want to kill themselves im aware that ill have to spend the next what 00000 year trying to overcome my trauma but i just wish that my mother would be there for me because if she wa truly there i would want to live i just want her to finally love me

today wa a normal day i have started keep a to do list to tackle my depression it not always necessary for me to everything on that list provided i have some definite reason in my mind to not doing everything like okay i didn t cook today because the gas connection wasn t there also this list ha helped me with my medication a sometimes heavy dos make me feel forget to do small stuff but something s left from the list undone and i don t have any particular reason for that except spending extra time resting or etc i feel horrible and then a fear started to grow back of my head that if i don t keep with that list i will again fall in depression today after work i took some time off for myself then my boyfriend came over and we spent some quality time but it also made me let for cooking my dinner and a i planned to go for cycling after dinner now i am constantly feeling horrible for not striking off one job from my list and the absurd thing is i haven t even had my dinner yet so i am already freaking out about something which probably i will have time to do this whole situation is not only giving me anxiety without any concrete reason but also making me feel guilty for enjoying something that i love

sorry wa getting ready going to leave at am today

i just gave an msu fan a car rental discount he looked so sad i just couldn t turn him away

hi i wa wondering if anyone ha this happen to them i have have had depression for decade i have good day and bad day no period that last for week or month like i did when i first started having symptom 0 year ago thank god it is mostly occasional bad bout most often i just have a dull low depression that i can dell with using moving muscle using cognitive dispute today i had one of the rare event that i used to get often i wake up early have a cup or two of coffee yet i feel really exhausted i slept fine the night before i end up having breakfast but that exhausted feeling becomes overwhelming and i go back to bet by 9am the entire day consists of me sleeping having lucid bat shit crazy bizarre dream the dream are not nightmare in fact they are rather creative but the local and situation are like the came from somebody imagination in a distant galaxy they would make really interesting sci fi fantasy i also dream about being lonely i have no family few friend one thing i remember wa this gut wrenching sadness about a girl i dated over 0 year ago thought she wa the one but it fell apart after about 0 to hour i get up have something to eat i feel hung over an d it is like a storm passed through my brain spent it s energy and now calm ha returned i wa wondering if anyone else had had similar experience like this it would be concerning if it wa a frequent occurrence which it once wa in the early day of depression again that wa decade ago thanks in advance for any observation or comment peace

ha anyone lost their career or become underemployed due to depression how do you survive are you frightened about how you will retire or get by in old age it s been seven year of mostly unemployment for me and i m horrified when i think of the future

insomnia kickin in i hate this

where ha the morning gone

i just can t people and the thought of how i am uninteresting and awkward in social situation make me sick

im so tired i just want to sleep forever making a promise to myself that tonight is the night reaching out for help didn t work i can t do this anymore sorry guy

rumblepurr lol wish they understood daylight saving ha ended though and breakfast is an hour later they keep waking the kid up too

is probably sick ffs

alliana0 it didn t make any sense to me the suicide thing i refuse to believe that that is actually what happened

gabbyisactive brat you have to rub it in don t you i want a mocha

hi there i ve spent the past couple of month dealing w anxiety depression and depersonalization and trying changing medication i am on a part time work plan where i work remotely in the afternoon even though i go to bed at a very decent hour i find it so difficult to get up in the morning i will make plan to get up before 9 and get thing accomplished make an appointment etc and despite all this i just turn my alarm off and sleep until noon when i have to log on for work i just dont want to be awake i need to get back to work soon and will be getting up at my old time of 0 am every day but i have no idea how ill do it thing like that used to be so normal before but now i barely want to be awake or leave the house doe anyone else struggle with this are there any tip you recommend to try to get your day started without dread

i am miserable when i wake up i am aware this due to more than just simply being mentally fucked up i live a shitty lifestyle however i feel a though most day are purely predetermined for me almost like it s always guaranteed to have me thinking about killing myself by the end of the day

i m slipping into a deep deep depression divorce failed business losing my home many regret etc etc i need a direction in my life i can focus and work hard on but i don t even know where to begin i need someone to help me a there s no way i can do it myself i have adhd so my mind go in a million direction all the time is a good life coach what i need

just checked my user timeline on my blackberry it look like the twanking is still happening are ppl still having probs w bgs and uids

im up i slept an hour last night death

well i have so much going on in my brain let me try to organize it having an existential crisis i m i ve done nothing with my life i m scared to death that a sizable chunk of my life is gone for nothing i work at fast food where there is no advancement whatsoever i just want to go back to school but i can t tired of my job like i said i work fast food i worked a a crew leader and the b i went through on a daily basis wa enough to have me walk out a year and a half of day a week of bull crap just piled up on top of me one and a half year of them playing music i can t stand and me being too nice to say anything because i didn t want to be the one to ruin it for everyone else so i endured with one ear bud in my ear until my bos told me no ear bud back to square one listening to others music for hour a day tired of life ever since 0 hell ever since i got out of the army my life ha been shit in the army i wa confident strong and proud my co took everything from me and gave me the boot ever since 009 my life ha been a struggle to get settled on two foot i ve abused drug been raped been abused been through natural disaster that have taken everything from me i have been kicked to my butt then kicked again while i wa down i hate being disabled i m ptsd ocd bipolar adhd i take so many medication that i don t know what to do with myself just to have a somewhat normal life i m so tired of getting my emotion dismissed and told that i m overreacting just because my disability isn t seen

for the past year and a half i ve had constant tiredness fatigue and just haven t felt like myself i used to be pretty active always working on project excited about life for the last year and a half i just feel like a shell of myself tired and meh i m also hungry constantly i ve seen my doctor and a few different specialist and had plenty of blood work done including thyroid and everything ha been normal no sleep apnea no anemia no lyme my doc said we have essentially ruled out most if not all straight up medical cause of fatigue beyond the possibility i m just not getting good sleep due to underlying stress or anxiety hard for me to tell how well i m sleeping not waking up refreshed but i m in bed for hr a night i ve begun to wonder if i m simply depressed since everything else ha kind of been ruled out i don t feel very sad and i don t feel hopeless i don t lack the motivation to do all the thing i love i just feel too tired or lazy to do them but i really want to be my old self again if i could snap my finger and have my energy back i d do it in a heartbeat how do i know if i m depressed