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⌀ | Dialogue
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| Speaking Character
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| Addressed Character
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GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry is watching TV) | I don't think so. | Jerry | Kramer |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry is watching TV) | Oh, I can be very persuasive. Do you know that I was almost... a lawyer. (shows with his fingers how close it was) | Kramer | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry is watching TV) | That close, huh? | Jerry | Kramer |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry is watching TV) | You better believe it. (The phone rings. Jerry picks it up) | Kramer | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry is watching TV) | Hello...Oh, hi, Laura. | Jerry | Kramer |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry is watching TV) | Give me it...let me talk to her (continues this way). | Kramer | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry is watching TV) | (gestures Kramer to shut up) No believe me, I'm always up at this hour. How are you?...great...sure...What time does the plane get in?...I got my friend George to take me...(Kramer suddenly notices something in the Mets-game on | Jerry | Kramer |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry is watching TV) | A SLIDE!...Wow! | Kramer | Tv)... |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry is watching TV) | ...No, it's, it's just my neighbour...uhm...yeah, I got it (takes a pencil and a cereal box to write on) ten-fifteen...No, don't be silly, go ahead and ask...Yeah, sure...OK, great, no no, it's no trouble at all...I'll see you tomorrow...great, bye. (hangs up the phone; to Kramer:) I, I don't believe it...That, that was her. She wants to stay here! | Jerry | Kramer |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | If my father was moving this he'd had to have a cigarette in his mouth the whole way. (talks from now on like he has a cigarette in his mouth) Have you got your end?...Your end's got to come down first, easy now, drop it down...drop it down, your end's got to come down. | Jerry | null |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | Ya know, I can't believe you're bringin' in an extra bed for woman, that wants to sleep with you. Why don't you bring in an extra guy too? (sits down) | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | (hands George a beer) Look, it's a very awkward situation, I, I don't wanna be presumptuous. | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | All right, all right, one more time, one more time! What was the EXACT phrasing of the request? | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | All right, she said she couldn't find a decent hotel- room... | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | A decent hotel-room... | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | Yeah, a decent hotel-room, would it be terribly inconvenient if she stayed at my place. | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | You can't be serious. This is New York city: there must be eleven million decent hotel-rooms! Whatta ya need? A flag? (waves with his handkerchief) This is the signal, Jerry, this is the signal! | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | (cynical) This is the signal. Thank you, mister Signal, where were you yesterday? | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | I think I was affected by the caffeine. (suddenly a dog enters the apartment and jumps George at the couch) HO, HO, HO, GOOD DOG (etc.) | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | (walks in behind the dog and closes the door) He really likes you, George. | Kramer | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | (ironically) Well, that's flattering. | George | Kramer |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | (the dog runs to the bathroom and apparently starts drinking from the toilet) Oh, he's getting' a drink of water. (sees the mattress on the floor) Is this for that girl? | Kramer | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | Yeah. | Jerry | Kramer |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | Why even give her an option? | Kramer | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | This is a person I like, it's not: "How to score on spring break". | Jerry | Kramer |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | Right, can we go? 'Cause I'm double-parked, I'm gonna get a ticket. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | Yeah, OK. Oh, wait a second. Oh, I, I forgot to clean the bathroom. | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | So what? That's good. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | Now, how could that be good? | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | Because filth is good...Whatta you think: rock stars have sponges and ammonia lyin' around the bathroom? They, they have a woman comin' over: "I've gotta tidy up? Yeah right, in these matters you never do what your instincts tell you. Always, ALWAYS do the opposite. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | This is how you operate? | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | Yeah, I wish. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | Let me just wipe the sink. | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | (stands up from the couch and yells.) WHY EVEN GIVE HER AN OPTION FOR? (Jerry walks to the bathroom and closes the door; to George, while pointing to the mattress) It's unbelievable. | Kramer | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | Yeah. | George | Kramer |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | ...How's the real estate-business? | Kramer | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | ...(surprised he asked) It's uh, not bad, it's comin' along...Why? Did you need something. | George | Kramer |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | Do you handle any of that commercial...real estate? | Kramer | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | Well, I might be getting in to that. | George | Kramer |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | (slaps George on the arm) You keep me posted! | Kramer | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry and George enter, lifting a heavy mattress) | I'm aware of you, all right, let's go (opens the bathroom door), let's go! (Jerry and the dog come out) You're on stage in 25 minutes. | George | Kramer |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Comedy club.) | The dating world is not a fun world...it's a pressure world, it's a world of tension, it's a world of pain...and ya know, if a woman comes over to my house, I gotta get that bathroom ready, 'cause she needs things. Women need equipment. I don't know what they need. I know I don't have it, I know that...Ya know what they need, women seem to need a lot of cotton-balls. This is the one I'm, always has been one of the amazing things to me...I have no cotton-balls, we're all human beings, what is the story? I've never had one...I never bought one, I never needed one, I've never been in a situation, when I thought to myself: "I could use a cotton-ball right now"...I can certainly get out of this mess...Women need them and they don't need one or two, they need thousands of them, they need bags, they're like peat-moss bags, have you ever seen these giant bags? They're huge and two days later, they're out, they're gone, the, the bag is empty, where are the cotton-balls, ladies? What are you doin' with them? The only time I ever see'em is in the bottom of your little waste basket, there's two or three, that look like they've been through some horrible experience... tortured, interrogated, I don't know what happened to them...I once went out with a girl who's left a little zip-lock-baggy of cotton-balls over my house. I don't know what to do with them, I took them out, I put them on my kitchen floor like little tumbleweeds. I thought maybe the cockroaches would see it, figure this is a dead town: "Let's move on"... The dating world is a world of pressure. Let's face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job-interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it...ya know: "Well, Bill, the boss thinks you're the man for the position, why don't you strip down and meet some of the people you'll be workin' with?". | Jerry | null |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Wouldn't it be great if you could ask a woman what she's thinking? | Jerry | null |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | What a world that would be, if you just could ask a woman what she's thinkin'. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Ya know, instead, I'm like a detective: I've gotta pick up clues, the whole thing is a murder investigation. | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Listen, listen, don't get worked up, 'cause you're gonna know the whole story the minute she steps off the plane. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Really? How? | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | 'Cause it's all in the greeting. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Uh-huh. | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | All right, if she puts the bags down before she greets you, that's a good sign. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Right. | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Ya know, anything in the, in the "lip-area" is good. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | "Lip-area". | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Ya know a hug: definitely good. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Hug is definitely good. | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Sure. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Although what if it's one of those hugs where the shoulders are touching, the hips are eight feet apart? | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | That's so brutal, I hate that. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Ya know how they do that? | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | That's why, ya know, a shake is bad. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Shake is bad, but what if it's the "two-hander"? The hand on the bottom, the hand on the top, the warm look in the eyes? | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Hand-sandwich. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Right. | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | I see, well, that's open to interpretation. Because so much depends on the layering and the quality of the wetness in the eyes...(suddenly a woman approaches Jerry from behind and puts her hands over Jerry's eyes) | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Guess who? | Laura | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Hey, hey. | Jerry | Laura |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Heeeey! (they take each others hands like they're planning to do a folk dance; George is looking puzzled) | Laura And Jerry | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | It's good to see you. | Jerry | Laura And Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Hi. | Laura | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | This is my friend George. | Jerry | Laura |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | (shakes George's hand) Hi, how nice to meet you. | Laura | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Hi, how are you? | George | Laura |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | This is Laura. | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Laura, sure. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | (to Laura) I can't believe you're here. | Jerry | Laura |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Ooh yeah, the bags, sure. (they pick up the bags) | George And Jerry | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Oh, thank you. | Laura | George And Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | (privately to George) Now that was an interesting greeting, did you notice that, George? | Jerry | George |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Airport. Jerry and George are waiting for Laura) | Yes, the "surprise-blindfold-greeting". That wasn't in the manual, I don't know. | George | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | So uh, what do ya think? | Jerry | null |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | Ooohhh, wow! This place isn't so bad. | Laura | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | Yeah, it kind a motivates me to work on the road...So uh, make yourself at home. (Laura sits down on the couch, takes off her shoes and opens some buttons of her shirt) So uh, can I get you anything? Uuhhh, bread, water...salad-dressing? | Jerry | Laura |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | (laughs) Actually uhm, do you have any wine? | Laura | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | JERRY; Uh, yeah, I think I do. | Laura | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | Oh, do, do you mind if I turn this down? (points to the lamp) | Laura | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | Uh, no, yeah, go right ahead. (she turns down the lamp) | Jerry | Laura |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | Uh, Jerry, uh, I was wondering: would it be possible, and if it's not, fine, for me to stay here tomorrow night too? | Laura | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | Uh, yeah, yeah, sure, why don't you stay? Yeah, uhm...What is your, what is your schedule for tomorrow? Are you, are you doin' anything? | Jerry | Laura |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | No, I'd love to do something, uh, I have my seminar in the morning, then after that I'm right open. | Laura | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | Really? What would you like to do? | Jerry | Laura |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | Well...now I know this sounds touristy, but I'd just love to go on one of those five-hour-boat-rides around Manhattan. | Laura | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | (doubtfully) Yeah, we could do that...why not, why not. (pours the wine) I'm just, I'm really glad you're here. (the phone rings; he picks it up) Yeah, hello...yes...yes, she is, hold on. (to Laura) Uhm, it's for you. | Jerry | Laura |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | (she takes the phone) Hello?...Hi!...no no it was great, right on time...no, I, I'm gonna stay here tomorrow...yes, yes it's fine..no, we're goin' on a boat-ride...don't be silly...I'm not gonna have this conversation...look I, I'll call you tomorrow...OK, bye (she hangs up the phone). Never get engaged. | Laura | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | You're engaged? | Jerry | Laura |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | You, you really have no idea what it's like until you actually do it and I'm on this emotional roller coaster. | Laura | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | You're engaged? (still can't believe it) | Jerry | Laura |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | Ya know, I can't believe it myself sometimes. You have to start thinking in terms of "we", uh, it's a very stressful situation. | Laura | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | You're engaged! (like he's answering his own question) | Jerry | Laura |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | Yeah...yeah, he's a great guy... | Laura | Jerry |
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS | (Jerry's apartment. Jerry shows Laura the apartment) | Yeah. | Jerry | Laura |