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459 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | Looks like scary Terry's having a nightmare. |
460 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | Oh, boy, Rick. I can only imagine what horrible things must, you know scare Scary Terry. |
461 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Scary Terry | Oh, no! I'm late to class, bitch! Oh, no! I'm not wearing any pants! |
463 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Scary Terry | Oh, uh, um ... "Bitch." |
465 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | Yeah, this is a bunch of bullcrap. Who cares what stupid pun you make when you kill someone? Why don't you let the poor guy say whatever he wants? |
467 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | You're putting too much pressure on yourself, scary Terry. You know, I mean, y-you're perfectly scary enough as it is. |
468 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | Hey, yo, scary T., don't even trip about your pants dawg. Here's a pair on us, fool. |
469 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Scary Terry | Aww, bitch. I don't know what to say. |
470 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | You don't need to say anything. We got you, dawg. |
471 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | You're our boy, dawg. Don't even trip. |
472 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Scary Terry | Oh, hey, it's you guys! |
474 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Scary Terry | If you guys ever need anything, just say the word. |
475 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | As a matter of fact, Terry, there is something you could help us with. |
477 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Scary Terry | I always hated that song! |
478 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Scary Terry | These halves don't belong together, bitch! |
479 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Scary Terry | Sex is sacred! |
480 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Scary Terry | This is because you don't give Morty Smith good grades, bitch! |
481 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Mr. Goldenfold | Holy crap! God damn! I know one thing for sure I'm giving Morty an "A" in math, and that's my idea. That is an original thought. |
482 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | What the hell? |
483 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | Out of the frying pan dot, dot, dot, huh, Morty? |
484 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | Oh, man, what's going on? |
485 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | Well, it's possible that your dog became self-aware and made modifications on the cognition amplifier, then turned on Jerry, Beth, and Summer after learning about humanity's cruel subjugation of his species, but your guess is as good as mine, Morty. |
486 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Jerry | I can't believe how mean snuffles got just because he's smart. |
487 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Summer | This is why I choose to get C's. |
488 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | Psst, Beth, Jerry, Summer. |
489 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | - Dad! - Rick! |
490 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | If we hurry we can set up camp in a sewer tunnel or something before the dogs completely take over. |
491 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Jerry | Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not going anywhere. This is my house. I'm not abandoning it. |
492 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | It's all over, Jerry. The dogs are on a path to total world domination. But, hey, at least they know not to piss on your carpet, right? |
493 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Jerry | Wait a minute. I have an idea. Gentlemen, a moment of your time. See that? I'm peeing all over your special guns. That means I own them. |
494 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Snuffles | Bad person. Bad. |
495 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | Ooh, great plan, Jerry. |
496 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Snuffles | Bring the boy to me. You were always kind to me, Morty. That's why I will leave you with your testicles. From now on, you will be my best friend and live by my side. |
497 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | Th-thanks, snuffles. |
498 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Snuffles | Begin phase two. |
502 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | Mmm. Thank you, Fido. Rick! I thought you were dead! |
503 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | No, no, no, I was just playing dead. Good news, though, Morty. This whole thing's gonna be over really soon. |
504 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | What? |
505 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | It's a dream, Morty. We're in your dog's dream. The night the dogs captured us, after you cried and crapped your pants, we all went to sleep. Then I used my dream inceptors to put the two of us inside snuffles' dream. |
506 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | But I-it's been like a whole year! |
507 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | It's been six hours. Dreams move one one-hundredth the speed of reality, and dog time is one-seventh human time. So, you know, every day here is like a minute. It's like "Inception," Morty, so if it's confusing and stupid, then so is everyone's favorite movie. |
508 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | Aw, man. I really liked this life. Well, at least I didn't really crap my pants. |
509 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | No, no, that happened before you went to sleep, Morty. You're sleeping in your crap right now. Out of all the things that happened to you, that was the only real thing that, you know, is that you crapped your pants. I mean, it's a mess out there. I got some on my hands, Morty, and then I got it on the dream inceptor, and a piece fell in my mouth. |
510 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | Aw, man, geez! Seriously? |
511 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | Look, d-d-d-don't worry about it, Morty. Here, here take these, Morty. Take these. |
512 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | Are these pills supposed to wake me up, or something? |
513 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | Close. It's gonna make your kidneys shut down. |
514 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | What?! |
515 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | It's necessary for the plan, Morty. Don't even trip, dawg. |
517 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Snuffles | Anything. Anything for my precious Morty. |
519 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Snuffles | To hell with my kingdom, bean counter. I would trade it all for my human's health and happiness. |
521 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Snuffles | We are not them! We are not them. |
522 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Snuffles | Taking over the human's world will lead to nothing but more heartbreak, more cruelty. Instead, we will go to a new world and colonize it with a society of intelligent dogs, one that will not make the same mistakes as humanity and one where pet insurance will be mandatory. |
523 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | I'm gonna miss you, snowball. |
524 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Snuffles | You can call me snuffles, Morty, and I'm going to miss you, too, very much. |
525 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Beth | Jerry? |
526 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Jerry | I'm sorry. It's just like the end of "Old Yeller. |
527 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Beth | Oh, Jerry. You mean because it had dogs in it. |
528 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | Wow! A whole world populated by intelligent dogs. I wonder what it'll be like, Rick. |
529 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | I think it will be great, Morty. You know it could be developed in-into a very satisfying project for people of all ages. I mean, I'd watch it, Morty, for at least 11 minutes a pop. You know, may-maybe they'll do it board-driven. |
530 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Morty | You know, that's a real comforting idea, Rick. |
531 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | What do you know, Morty? What do you know? |
533 | 1 | 2 | Lawnmower Dog | Rick | Oooh! This is how you dream, bitch. |
534 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Principal Vagina | Principal Vagina here, don't let the name fool you, I'm very much in charge, reminding you that tonight is our annual flu season dance. I don't know how many times I have to say this but if you have the flu, stay home, the flu season dance is about awareness, not celebration. You don't bring dead babies to Passover. |
536 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Morty | Ohhh. Okay, here we go. H-Heyy Jessica, ughh. |
537 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Jessica | What's up Morty? |
538 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Morty | Ugghh |
539 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Brad | What are you doing? |
540 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Morty | Ummm |
541 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Brad | Wait, wait, Were you about to talk... to her? |
542 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Morty | Well, I mean, I was thinking about it. |
543 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Brad | Dude, Stay in your league! Look at how hot she is! You don't see me going to a bigger school, in a wealthier district and hittin' on their prettiest girl! |
544 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Jessica | Gee, thanks, Brad. |
545 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Brad | I throw balls far. You want good words, date a languager. |
546 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Jerry | Eh, Try not to worry about it, Morty. You're a good kid, and there's not a premium on that right now, but you'll be getting girls sometime after Brad's out of shape. |
547 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Morty | You're missing the point, Dad. I don't want girls, I want Jessica! |
548 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Jerry | Ahhh, well, I remember feeling that way about a young lady named your mom, and that's not an urban dis, your mom was my Jessica. I remember the first time I saw her, I thought... |
549 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Rick | I should get her pregnant, then she'll have to marry me. |
550 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Jerry | I beg your pardon, Rick, INAPPROPRIATE. |
551 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Rick | Sorry, please proceed with your story about banging my daughter in high school. I'm not sure you want to take romantic advice from this guy, Morty, his marriage is hanging from a thread. |
552 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Jerry | My marriage is fine, thank you. |
553 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Rick | Jerry, it's your house, whatever you say it is is how it is, but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door. I barely have a reason to care and even I noticed. |
554 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Morty | Come on, Rick, don't talk about my parents like that. |
555 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Rick | Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science. |
556 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Morty | Alright, well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance. |
557 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Jerry | Yeah, I'm just going to...check on your mom. |
558 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Rick | Morty, hand me that screwdriver, huh? I'm almost finished making my ionic defibulizer, Morty. It's gonna be great. |
559 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Morty | Hey, listen, Rick. You know how you said that, you know... love is a chemical and all that stuff from earlier? Well, I was thinkn', you know, www... could you make some sort of chemical thing happen inside of Jessica's mind, you know, so where she falls in love with me and all that sort of thing, you know, like maybe make some sort of love potion or something? |
560 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Rick | Morty, that's such a poor use of my time, it's beneath me. Hand me the screwdriver. |
561 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Morty | YOU KNOW WHAT, NO RICK! I'M NOT GONNA HAND YOU THE SCREWDRIVER! Uh, I'm never gonna hand you anything ever again, Rick. I'm always helping you with this and that and the other thing. Www...what about me, Rick? Www... why can't you just help me out once, once, for once? |
562 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Rick | You're growing up fast, Morty. You're growing into a real big thorn straight up into my ass! Listen, this is called oxytocin. I extracted it from a vole. You know what a VOLE is, Morty, you know what a vole is? |
563 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Rick | It's a, it's a rodent that mates for life, Morty. This is the chemical release in the mammal's brain, ...that makes it fall in love. Alright Morty, I just gotta combine it with some of your DNA. |
564 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Morty | Oh well, okay... |
565 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Rick | A hair, Morty, I need one of your hairs! This isn't Game Of Thrones. |
566 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Morty | Oww! |
567 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Rick | Alright, Morty, whoever you smear this stuff on will fall in love with you, and only you, forever. Ya happy now, Morty? |
568 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Morty | Heck yeah! Thank you, Grandpa Rick! Hey there's no dangers or anything or side effects, right? |
569 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Rick | Www.. what am I, a hack?! Go nuts, Morty, it's full proof. |
570 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Rick | Ugh, unless she has the flu. |
571 | 1 | 6 | Rick Potion 9 | Jerry | Beth, do you still love me? |