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0 | 1 | [me narrating a documentary about narrators] "I can't hear what they're saying cuz I'm talking" | [-1.91903103e-03 -4.27360572e-02 -1.73044279e-02 -2.60622725e-02
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1 | 2 | Telling my daughter garlic is good for you. Good immune system and keeps pests away.Ticks, mosquitos, vampires... men. | [-7.58715868e-02 6.58142567e-02 6.11177040e-03 6.64205700e-02
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2 | 3 | I've been going through a really rough period at work this week It's my own fault for swapping my tampax for sand paper. | [-9.45299566e-02 -3.16428468e-02 9.18900296e-02 5.92839494e-02
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3 | 4 | If I could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive... ...I would choose alive. -B.J. Novak- | [-7.78767392e-02 2.35473756e-02 -1.01575874e-01 7.21505843e-03
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4 | 5 | Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks. | [ 4.89130914e-02 -8.60678926e-02 -4.18252721e-02 -4.70949598e-02
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5 | 6 | Why can't Barbie get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box. Heyooooooo | [ 5.90367068e-04 -1.03991190e-02 -3.04288398e-02 5.18342387e-03
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6 | 7 | Why was the musician arrested? He got in treble. | [ 2.64874902e-02 5.65058291e-02 -7.94452353e-05 -5.50365336e-02
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7 | 8 | Did you hear about the guy who blew his entire lottery winnings on a limousine? He had nothing left to chauffeur it. | [ 4.92554568e-02 8.68659914e-02 3.34565789e-02 -1.34603875e-02
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8 | 9 | What do you do if a bird shits on your car? Don't ask her out again. | [ 5.14082005e-03 2.74950378e-02 1.21217400e-01 -1.04753878e-02
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9 | 10 | He was a real gentlemen and always opened the fridge door for me | [-6.68509156e-02 9.31492001e-02 -2.78562233e-02 4.20260690e-02
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10 | 11 | Telling my daugthers date that "she has lice and its very contagious the closer you get to her." *Correct way to parent. | [-3.37885134e-02 4.17276956e-02 2.27410123e-02 8.80971458e-03
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11 | 12 | What should you do before criticizing Pac-Man? WAKA WAKA WAKA mile in his shoes | [ 4.31008153e-02 1.01914011e-01 -1.63756460e-02 2.21716007e-03
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12 | 13 | What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and an autonomous robot...? Nothing... they were both made to steal American jobs. | [-1.48642417e-02 5.20865340e-03 -3.45796533e-02 -5.99749433e-03
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13 | 14 | What do you call a barbarian you can't see? an Invisigoth. | [-6.14608750e-02 1.62035059e-02 -6.93161041e-02 8.79638363e-03
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14 | 15 | How do you spell Canda? C,eh,N,eh,D,eh | [-2.70217657e-03 -1.94090754e-02 -8.26963186e-02 -7.31045455e-02
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15 | 16 | You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it? | [ 8.45719874e-02 3.01915221e-02 -2.29091533e-02 5.29229864e-02
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16 | 17 | What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say at the abortion clinic? Hasta last vista, baby. | [-1.83028374e-02 8.18362609e-02 -7.98206925e-02 7.72163123e-02
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17 | 18 | My wife is in a bad mood. I think her boyfriend forgot their anniversary. Way to go, dude. Now we all suffer... | [-4.22987156e-03 -5.59132034e-03 6.74223453e-02 4.67216447e-02
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18 | 19 | My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention! | [-7.94776808e-03 1.32040456e-01 9.44747478e-02 -3.67268547e-02
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19 | 20 | Thanksgiving joke What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving? Twerky! Just kidding... Drugs. She eats drugs. -Adam Zopf @adamzopf | [ 2.65709460e-02 -3.46636376e-03 7.19351545e-02 -3.45588624e-02
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20 | 21 | Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? 'Cause they are freaking good at it | [ 6.41474128e-02 4.03615683e-02 1.16536930e-01 1.03603490e-01
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21 | 22 | How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree. | [ 1.72512829e-02 -5.37510123e-03 6.11876026e-02 1.38865203e-01
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22 | 23 | "That guy is such a douche-bag! Is he single? Maybe I can fix him!" women | [-1.40753796e-03 9.63429222e-04 4.70994040e-03 7.90448859e-02
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23 | 24 | My son just got a tattoo of a heart, a spade, a club, and a diamond, all without my permission. I guess I'll deal with him later. | [ 3.51314470e-02 1.21254019e-01 -2.01082844e-02 -3.09126694e-02
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24 | 25 | What do you call a potato in space? Spudnik | [ 5.87505242e-03 -4.19053324e-02 -1.09750271e-01 -7.92028941e-03
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25 | 26 | How to get a cop's attention | [ 5.74241951e-02 1.81828551e-02 -3.64451632e-02 -1.19043384e-02
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26 | 27 | What happens to a necrophiliac after death? Reserection | [-1.53197236e-02 -4.54242378e-02 -3.48459482e-02 3.34861390e-02
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27 | 28 | Why did the chicken hold a seance? To get to the other side. | [ 4.83616604e-04 2.56779045e-02 7.92498421e-03 6.74894676e-02
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28 | 29 | Where do baby cows go to eat lunch? At the calf-eteria. | [ 2.52312850e-02 -2.18780693e-02 -1.54005468e-03 5.21620736e-02
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