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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [23 M/F] of 4 years, cannot decide if i should break up with my girlfriend, need advice!!
POST: Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 4 years now, we have had our short break ups in the past (3 weeks was the longest). Over the past couple of years she has begun to push for marriage or at least an engagement; however i am not ready to settle down anytime soon. We are both currently in college, I am going for a B.S. in Chemistry about to begin my junior year and she was going to go for nursing but not anymore, when she is done she will have gone to college full time for six years ending up with only a 2 year degree. recently i have been noticing a lot of red flags about her. She will not listen to any advice i have given her which has put her in easily avoidable situations, i get tired of telling her i told you so. I feel like i cant take her out in public with me or around my friends because she is very clingy and is always trying to make out with me in front of other people, which is extremely annoying when i am just trying to relax and have a good time. She cannot manage money and has never payed for her own insurance, cell phone, car payments etc. her parents pay for all of this. She is also not very intelligent and not really willing to learn anything, she had an incredibly hard time learning general chemistry and cannot do basic algebra. If i were to marry her i feel like she would drag me down, and my hypothetical in-laws are terrible at managing money as well. I do love her however cannot seem to justify a marriage with her, so i dont want to keep dragging her along when i have big plans for myself in the future. Am i wrong in thinking i should break it off or what? this is a hard decision for me to make after 4 years.
TL;DR: | Had alot of red flags come up within the past couple of years with my girlfriend of 4 years, Love her but cant see myself putting up with her for life, should i break it off? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19M] with my SO [19F] of 3 years, I keep fucking up and ruining things and then make the fight difficult for her.
POST: Hey reddit, I've been having a really hard time with SO lately and its generally my fault and as a result I carry all the blame and fault because I deserve it but then my SO caves and comforts me as a result and she is deprived of the fight.
These past months have been extremely difficult in terms of our relationship where I am constantly hurting my SO in ways some how. She means the whole world to me and she is pretty much the source of all happiness and everything good in my life right now. I know this very well but I just seem to be ruining things somehow.
The main problem is that when these things happen and I am at complete wrong I just simply break down. I've always been a very sensitive person and when things go wrong I don't deal with them very well, especially when I know its all my fault. She tells me that the fight suddenly becomes all about me and even though I fuck up and she gets hurt I'm the more damaged one. This generally happens with every fight where I am complete at fault. I'm not trying to avoid the fight or get her sympathy in order avoid the fight. I just feel like scum every time I do something to upset her and self loath and absolutely hate myself. She says she wants me to fight for her when these fights occur but how can I fight for her when I am at complete fault? I have nothing to argue with, I am at complete fault and I am beyond sorry and just disgusted with myself each time I hurt her.
I don't know what to do, its my natural response to my failure. How should I be going about with these situations where she has done nothing wrong?
TL;DR: | I've been having some problems with my SO recently and my sensitive and self loathing nature doesn't allow us to have a proper fight. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] with my partner [28 /F] 3 years, got me a gift that i can't really use.
POST: So i have recently been trying to focus on my creative writing and my partner, very thoughtfully, got me an online novel writing course through groupon. Today i was looking through the course and realized it is one of those poorly designed scam type courses for people who don't really know what they are doing. I checked out the company's website and they also offer a lot of other courses which they have no business doing (things like first aid training, therapy, addiction counseling etc.)
as i was looking through the course and getting disheartened about something i had been looking forward to i decided to see how much my partner spent on the gift. the website lists the cost at a ludicrous amount (hundreds of dollars) but then i found it on groupon and saw that it was super cheap. the reason i checked is that i would have hated to know my partner spent very much money on such a poorly designed product (we are poor).
my question is, should i go through the motions of completing the course even though it is going to be unhelpful in developing my skills and more a chore than an enjoyable task? i don't want to lie to her but i also don't want to spend the time working through this thing. to clarify: i won't lie to her but i don't want to tell her the gift was "no good" either and i'm not sure i'll be able to avoid discussing it if she brings it up.
halp!
TL;DR: | partner got me a gift from a scam company and i don't want to spend the time to use it but i don't want to hurt her by telling her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Dealing with an odd situation and breakup. Could use some guidelines here.
POST: I posted previously about a long-distance relationship I was in (I'm a 19 year old male, she a 20 year old female) and we pretty much dated without the title for 5 months or so. We were long distance due to going to different schools and had done the whole long distance thing since August. She broke it off with me via text message but also wants to remain friends.
As for the reasons for breaking it off, she said that she didn't want to remain tied down to someone she'd see only 3-4 days in the month and not being able to handle the full commitment of a long distance relationship. Also, there was less than a month left in the semester (college) and we'd be able to see each other quite a bit in the next month due to the two breaks (Thanksgiving and Christmas/Winter). I feel like it's kinda shitty of her to break it off via text message for one thing, I also think it's shitty that she waited all this time to come to such a conclusion when she had 3 months to figure out what was going on. That was terrible to get cold feet so close to us being able to spend a lot of time together.
I haven't spoken to her since we broke it off, and she randomly texted me tonight about not talking. I'm torn here whether or not I should get everything off my chest as to how I'm feeling (and risk an argument or disagreement for which I have neither the time nor inclination) or continue to ignore her until I've been able to deal. Any suggestions?
TL;DR: | Long distance relationship, break up, and now what to say to her after she's texted me the first time since we've broken things off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18 M] am having insecurities about my long-distance relationship with my girlfriend [18 F] of a month. Her brother ruins our time together.
POST: So we met through a friend, specifically a friend that moved away about a year ago whom I kept in touch with. One night we were having a skype call and decided to have a karaoke party, so both of us ended up inviting our close friends.
There was one girl she that joined the call and immediately I felt she was different and stood out from others because she didn't talk much and had a really interesting personality, one that makes you want to know more about her.
Anyways after the call she ended up adding me and we hit it off pretty well, talked everyday for about 2-3 months. I liked her a lot but I knew that it would be very hard maintaining a long distance relationship especially since we've never even met in real life before.
But we decided to try beat the odds and we've been going out for a little over a month now.
This is where my problem comes in; we have a 5 hour time difference (Me, Australia. Her, America) but since I'm on break I can make a lot of time for her. However, she has an older brother that would always interfere with us whenever we talked or called. It feels like most of the time I'm actually talking to her brother or trying to guess whether I'm talking to her or her brother. It annoys me a ton because I feel like our privacy has been invaded. I love being cheesy and all that, leaving her messages while shes asleep so she could read them when she wakes up..but knowing that her brother might read them really puts me off...talking to her.
That's my main issue right now but I've been told by many people that online/long distance relationships don't work. She could be gone anytime. This is my second relationship, my first one was horrible. I don't want to screw this up but this distance really takes away a lot of the trust aspect that a relationship needs.
TL;DR: | Friends brother always interferes with our chats, making me feel uncomfortable every time we chat. Also uncertain about where this relationship is heading. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's a good way to pass time while drunk, bored and alone
POST: Bit of a back story. recently moved city with my girlfriend so she could study. I had a job lined up so i was planning on working. The first few months went as i thought they would being home sick etc. But i was working a lot so it kind of helped take my mind off it. managed to meet some decent peeps at work. we decided to go back to home for christmas and we ended up staying for the whole of January. Being back home was amazing seeing my friends all the time. Going out more than ever. Really making the most of my time there. Came back on Monday and got a call saying my contract is being cut short (zero hour contract. it happens) so I've been sitting bored out of my mind, jobless while my girlfriend is at uni. Haven't spoke to a soul apart from her since Monday and I think the contrast of an action packed month is starting to give me the Monday blues but with a month's worth back logged. Anyway she is going out with uni friends tonight and it will probably be a dressy kind of bar. Like the sort of place with guys in suits and shirts cruising about buying chamagne in a desperate plea to show their wealth. Not my scene I prefer interesting people and a good atmosphere. (Hey reddit)... Anyway before I rant anymore about my solitude or my dislike of tuxedos. I am going to buy a nice bottle of whiskey and ask reddit what I can do to pass the time when I am bored and drunk.
What should I do? What would you do?
TL;DR: | I'm so alone but I'm also about to be drunk. What things can i do to pass the time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Any advice?
POST: So there's an amazing girl I've meet. She's lovely ,and we've been talking for several weeks. Just over two. She has an impeccable taste in music, and movies. She has the most amazing sense of humor, and she's pretty much beautiful. She's witty, and down to earth. Around the third day texting each other we opened up , and threw our scars on the table. We talked a lot ,and she always compliments me on how I can make her laugh constantly. But recently I haven't been able to make her laugh as often. I feel like she may be getting bored of me. Any help? Maybe confidence is playing a role?
Okay here are something I shouldn't of left out.
* She can't go out. Basically her Mom is anal. (No guests either)
* She doesn't want a romantic relationship with anyone just yet. She's still getting over an ex.
* I don't want to be in the friend zone ,but can't just disappear.
* She has a lot of guys friends. **I don't want to be another guy friend**,but I don't want to lose her..
TL;DR: | Amazing girl I'm interested in. I don't want to bore her. Stuff we can do/talk about? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 24[m] got offered sex out of the blue from 29[f] on an online depression site. she's not attractive. i'm desperate and horny.
POST: i've been talking to this girl on a depression website just cause i want someone to talk to. We had some back and forths, but eventually her attitude was way too pessimistic and i didn't enjoy talking to her that much. I know we're on a depression site but the goal is kind of to try to look forward and at least try to think positive and get better. But it's all fine and good, i just got turned off a bit and didn't want to talk to her anymore.
Then she messaged me with a kind of needy message asking why I don't talk to her anymore. I just said i'm not that social, and she said ok..
A week later out of the blue she just started messaging me with a flirty tone. I found it amusing so i played along, then she straight up said she wants to basically have sex with me and if i fly down to her, which i easily could because of my job, we'll ****.
so what do i do. my life is a wreck. i'm not an ugly guy, i just have a shy and withdrawn personality riddled with insecurities. and i did sort of like receiving attention from her. But when i look at her pictures... well, she has some facial deformities and her face has an odd shape.. i'm just not attracted. I do want to have sex with her if i'm really really horny and desperate... which I guess i am.
what to do. ??????
TL;DR: | Get offered sex from a girl that i consider ugly... and i say this as a guy with low standards. yet i still am seriously considering having sex with her ... |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Question about Self Employed Estimated taxes paid quarterly- a few issues
POST: Backstory: bought a house last year (finally), after settling the last of my credit card debt. Of course I had to pay taxes on the full amount, which burned, but I did so I could be debt free and move on with life.
I pay estimated taxes quarterly and last year I failed to pay 3rd quarter- got penalized.
I had a lot of medical stuff going on, cancer treatment, surgeries, etc. I just flaked and forgot to pay.
Tried to call IRS to get them to waive penalty bc of good payment history, they said to fill out X forms, they look to be ridiculous, I just don't care anymore - I'll eat the penalty not to fill that crap out.
Here's where I'm having issues. This year I have been penny pinching to pay the taxes owed for last year and try to send the correct amount (and extra) so I don't have this happen again.
The problem is that I feel like I'm not accruing enough deductions (meals, office supplies, postage, etc.) because of trying to save. I itemize my deductions- have for 12 years.
I also spent some big bucks putting in a new HVAC unit and new windows-
What can I do to be sure I don't screw myself now that we are in mid July?
I hope this makes sense.
TL;DR: | Trying to save $ by eating at home/not spending too much but afraid I will screw my deductions up on 2016 self employed taxes. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: To redditors that go clubbing, question about importance of club dancing ability
POST: quick background: I'm normally fine dealing with members of the sex I'm interested in (I'm a straight male). I have confidence, average/above average looks, good dresser. I've taken tango lessons (I'm fairly decent at that) and am an okay solo dancer.
My Conundrum: From time to time friends drag me to clubs. At said clubs girls dance with me and I dance with them, but never for a time period of longer than a minute. Is this because I'm just a bad club dancer? What are your reasons for ditching a person that was dancing with you? I don't think its because I'm being too inappropriate. I look to the other couples on the floor, if they weren't clothed they would be having sex. I keep my hands on the hips/stomach region avoiding all the potential harassment zones.
I've asked my various exes and they all claim I'm a perfectly fine dancer, but I'm not sure if they were just sparing my feelings.
TL;DR: | So reddit, is dancing ability important and if so what can I do to get better outside of going to lots of clubs? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by listening to the GPS
POST: This actually happened last night, but I was extremely tired by the time I made it to a hotel, so...
I am in the process of moving my family from western Washington to Texas. Yesterday after work, we loaded up in the family truckster and hit the road. This was the second mistake (see above).
It gets dark pretty early and was pitch black by 7. Trusting the ever-faithful GPS, which *never* leads us astray, I start driving down these back roads that scream "LOCALS ONLY," but I continue for what seemed like two hours. This was my third mistake
Noticing that the time to destination indicator on the GPS was barely moving should have been the sign.
Now, my family and I have been living in Washington for a while, but we kept the GPS in the car just in case. My son found it a while back and started playing with it. He would put in destinations and play navigator. It was all in fun... until yesterday. That was mistake number one.
TL;DR: | Son played with GPS, started traveling cross-country after a long day of work, ended up on the wrong roads because of my son. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19M] girlfriend [18F] is not friends with my female friend [19F] anymore
POST: I have known my female friend, let's call her A, for a year now. I originally actually met my girlfriend through A originally, but around 4-5 months into our relationship they had a "fight" and decided not to be friends anymore. I have now been with my girlfriend for half a year. Now, I value both my girlfriend and A and I don't want to lose any of them. Me and my girlfriend haven't really spoken about A except that she has told me the fact that they are not friends anymore. I haven't met A since then, but I feel I would like to do so. Since I want to be honest in my relationship, I'll be sure to speak to my girlfriend about it first. But the thing that is troubling me is how awkward and bad it would feel if, let's say I walk around the city with A and somehow run into my gf. Any thoughts? What would you do if you were in such a situation?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend and my female friend who I met the girlfriend through got into a fight, but I don't want to lose any of them. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How boggled has your mind been by a co-worker?
POST: Long story short, my current client is a major bank who is cutting all their costs at present due to the downturn - a large part of this involves outsourcing.
Recently, an Indian colleague turned round to someone on a conference call between two teams and advised them that they kept referring to them by the wrong name.
When asked why their name wasn't correct, the Indian worker stated that he and his brother take turns to come in to do the job as they have different skill sets.
Needless to say he was immediately escorted from the building and his brother had his role terminated.
I guess they kind of had an issue with the fact that a stranger was able to get on-site, had been given an employees passwords to access banking IT systems and had not gone through the rigorous screening that takes place with all workers.
Have you ever heard of such a thing happening or have you a better example of such idiocy?
I saw the Harry Potter pic stating that the twins would swap roles which reminded me of this but they at least were identical in appearance.
TL;DR: | guy gets employed by a bank, sometimes sends his brother in his place to do his job without permission, gets fired after brother corrects someone on a call for using the wrong name |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it normal to be more worried about Sophomore year in college than Freshman?
POST: So, in less than a week I will be headed back to college after summer break and I am feeling extremely worried and anxious. As the title says, I am experiencing a lot more nervousness this year than I did last year. I think it is because last year I didn't really know what to expect and was kind of excited about what was to come whereas this year I know what to expect and to say the least - I didn't particularly enjoy my Freshman year.
Don't get me wrong - I love my school and even my best friend goes there but I am in no way a partier and I struggled to make many friends last year. I don't want to be the guy who stays in every weekend this year and plan to go out sometimes but basically I was wondering if this sort of thought is normal... If so, or even if not: what can I do to make friends that would rather just hang out than "party". I am by no means anti-social in my mind but I just don't like the "frat-bro party scene".
TL;DR: | More nervous this year than last year about college because now I know what to expect and didn't particularly enjoy it the first time around as a non-partier. Any ideas to have a better experience? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21m] read her [22] journal...
POST: We [21m, 22f] have been together almost a year and been living together for 3 months now. It was just sitting out where she left it, and stupid ol me read it all. I have descovred a terrible fact. She consistently writes about her best friend who is a girl and I am never mentioned. I had a hunch she was bi but up untill this point she never told me, but now it's painfully obvious. She constantly writes about her and how she wishes she could be with her, and how wonderful she is. Her friend is straight so I have no reason to believe they would ever hook up but knowing this now makes me feel terrible. I know she goes to her friend for all her problems and she helps her, but I also know now she just keeps everything from me, not being very open with me at all. The obvious thing is that I should tell her I read it right? But from what I know now, where do we go from here? Was our relationship doomed from the start (they have been friends for years)? Does she really love me at all?
TL;DR: | Read her journal only to find out she is madly in love with her straight best friend. Is our relationship in trouble (besides the fact I broke her trust)? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm [19M] into a girl [19F] but she's away for the summer. Another girl [19F] seems she's into me so I might want to take a shot but don't want to turn the first girl away.
POST: Hey all,
So I'm a 19M and I've been friends with the first girl for almost 4 years now, let's call her Diana. Back in March. I asked her out and she said no, because even though for months she was giving me positive signs, I simply took too long. Anywho, she's away for the summer and she called me saying how she would like to try "us" some point in the future after she's back, essentially next year of university. We've been friends for years, and even after I asked her out we're both mature enough to move past it real quick and nothing really changed between us until she called me a couple weeks ago.
The issue resides, should I feel attached and not go for anybody else besides Diana? I have another friend who's not away for the summer and yesterday she gave me some pretty good signs that there might be something more to out friendship, but should I go for it? Will I be risking Diana's possibility of more-than-friends? Is it simply worth it?
Please advise
-HFML
TL;DR: | Friend who wants to try being more-than-friends is away for the summer and we're just friends for right now, but because she's away for so long is it worth going for someone else in the meantime? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by putting a plastic bag in my pocket.
POST: This just happened less than thirty minutes ago, but I have to go back to earlier in the day to tell this story right.
I work in IT for a restaurant company and occasionally have to hang monitors. Today I was working in the kitchen assembling the arm that would hold the monitor. It came with three hex keys to tighten the different size bolts. These came in a small resealable bag that I pocketed because I didn't want to leave trash in the kitchen. Fast forward an hour I am done with my work, pack up and leave so I can go home and pack for my vacation.
Of course I don't change clothes and head to the airport in my work clothes, which wouldn't have been a big deal if I didn't mindlessly follow TSAs rules. While putting my things in the xray machine I am asked to check my pockets for anything else. I do and pull out the incredibly empty and tiny plastic baggy.
I freeze as I realize how this looks. I contemplate crumbling it back up, but now I am being watched. The Agent immediately notices the bag as I go to throw it away. He asks, "why do you have that bag?"
To which I explain my job and why I had it as believable as it was or wasn't he let me into the nudy scanner.
He must have said something to the agents on the other side because I got more questions on the other side. This is a busy airport and there are dozens of cops standing around after security, two of which wonder over and stand behind the new agent.
Thankfully I had pictures of my work on my phone, which I showed them. The dates were in the photos so they seemed to believe me. Now I am boarding my plane even more thankful that I keep evidence of my work.
TL;DR: | left a plastic bag in my pocket, went to the airport, looked like I was trying to bring drugs on my plane. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21F] parents [50s] are refusing either to do anything to help their marriage or to get divorced, anything I could/should do?
POST: My parents have been together for over 30 years, but it's not always been plain sailing (they're very open about their breakups before they got married, and when I was younger I remember them going to marriage counselling). But recently they've been worse than ever, my mum started sleeping in my old room and they barely speak (don't fight much but that's because they don't talk enough to fight). Believe it or not, what sparked this recent deterioration was my dad going to the cinema with other people who weren't my mum, I get why that might be upsetting but I don't think worth this reaction.
I have a younger brother (14, still lives at home) and sister (19, lives part time at home), and I have moved out but still go home for a few days quite regularly. I don't know if my brother has realised what's going on, my sister certainly knows. I totally accept if they want to get a divorce, but they won't do anything to either make the relationship better or get a divorce.
I spoke to my mum about it and she said she 'knows' my dad doesn't care enough to go back to counselling But she's not actually asked him). I think it's more likely that my dad feels too awkward and nervous to bring it up, as he's not a very social guy. My question is what I could do to encourage them to do something to make themselves happier (even if that means getting a divorce), or if I should just stay out of it.
TL;DR: | My parents are being totally dysfunctional, refusing to speak about it and each assuming the other one doesn't care. Is there anything I can/should do, e.g. encourage them to go to marriage counselling? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Gf [21] cheated on me M[26] but doesn't know I know yet.
POST: Throwaway just because, so anyway, Gf and I are going on a 2 year relationship. We don't live together, We are about 30 minute drive from each other, so seeing each other is nothing to worry about. As for the cheating, from what i was told there was no sex involved just all the things leading up to it, She refused to have sex with the guy, why baffles me too? But I have a feeling she's going to want to break up with me soon. As far as things go, the past 2 months have been weird i would say, talking less and less, and see each other less because she's in school and studying for finals.
My question is what do i do? do i confront her, or have a talk that will lead up to the subject of cheating? I still love her and I want to be with her. I'm in deep shock and I'm shaking. I just want to stay with her, I love her to damn much. I'm so sorry this isn't cohesive enough..
I guess i should also add that I did forgive her before for pretty much the same thing before.. Did I mention that I love her that much?
TL;DR: | gf cheated all but sex, doesn't know i know, i want to save the relationship but don't know how or even if I should. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Update - I [22 M] have been talking to a girl [22 F] online for some time, should I make a move ?
POST: Original post :
We continued texting back and forth for the last couple of days.
She went home for the holidays and invited me again to meet her in her hometown saying that it cannot get any better than us meeting in New year's Eve. I told her i cannot go there since i already have plans set for the holidays.
Then she told me she wants to study in the US some time next year ( this would make the distance between us even greater ) I said that if that's what she wants, she should go for it.
Yesterday, She started sharing her vacation plan for next summer and said she'd love if I go with her (one on one road trip). Afterwards we talked about having sex together ( in a funny way ) and she said there's no value in texting each other forever and that we should meet sooner rather than later. I seized the opportunity to ask her if she was interested in being in a relationship with one another to what she replied if that was a trick question and she does not want to put pressure on our first meeting...
I have to admit i'm really confused here after all the hints she gave me, I have no idea what "putting pressure on a meeting means " and i'd rather stay single than chase a girl around especially at this period of my life where i have most important things to focus on. I am not sure what to do next, should i cut ties with her ?
TL;DR: | I followed the advice i was given here, asked if she was interested and got a weird answer ! I m kind of confused, not sure what the next step is... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is my boyfriend(25) cheating? Looking for an outside opinion.
POST: My boyfriend(m25)and I(f26) have known each other since High School and have been together about a year and a half now. He jokes it feels like we've been together a year for every month because were so comfortable with each other. One of the things we have in common is we are both pretty picky, some would say shallow. We moved in together in January and since then we've both gained weight. His just gives him a hint of a dad bod, but my 5'2 curvy stature makes my weight gain more..pronounced.
Because of this we haven't had sex in a while. A long while. We are both very sexual people. I am actively trying to lose weight but it takes more time to take it off than put it on. (just to clarify, he won't have sex with me because I'm fat and he's unattracted to me atm)
In the mean time, I found out he has been chatting up women. They all have turned out to be bots, so theres been no physical cheating(that I know of or was insinuated), but I still feel betrayed, while also understanding that porn isn't always enough.
TL;DR: | Shallow boyfriend. I got fat. Hes been sexting online. I'm losing weight but in the mean time how do I trust him? Do I just get out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My Girlfriend has a Body Odour problem, I don't think she knows, and it's really starting to affect our relationship. How do I tell her!?
POST: Ok - first things first. I'm not trolling, but as this is Reddit, I'm fully aware of what I might have let myself in for (hence the fake account - and yeah I know the name doesn't help my case, but well, I'm desperate). I really don't know how to go about handling the matter so I figured I'd ask Reddit.
I've been with my GF for over a year - about 18 months in total and it's never been a problem before, but over the last couple of months I've noticed her becoming more and more fragrant and it's really starting to affect our relationship.
I find it *really* gross. It puts me off sex and just generally grosses me out. We've been having a bit of a rough time recently, and If I'm honest, the B.O. is my biggest qualm.
So Reddit. How do I go about telling her!? I figure I can't just come out and say it. I need to be more tactful than that, but how? Randomly dropping "so - what's your favorite anti-perspirant, I hear XYZ smells really good" isn't going to work. I love the girl and don't want to hurt her feelings, but if it doesn't get sorted out soon I'm going to have to dump her. It's *that* bad.
Am I being shallow!? We're not talking sweat sexy after sex perspiration, we're talking full on "you fucking stink girl". Please help! How do I tell her!?
Should I just come out and say it? I suppose I don't have anything to lose, as if she doesn't sort it out I'm going to have to break up with her anyway but at the same time I don't want to hurt her feelings or give her a complex.
Please help me Reddit.
TL;DR: | My Girlfriend stinks - I'm not man enough to just tell her straight, how can I tell her without hurting her feelings? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] am wondering if it's worth sticking it out with my current GF [18F] through our LDR until I see her in 2 months.
POST: Hi /r/relationships,
I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past 2 and a half months or so. We have been together since mid May, and have been in a long-distance relationship since about mid-June. She visited me in early July, and I visited her a few weeks later. We both attend college and should be seeing each other again in about 2 months.
Lately she has become distant over text. I asked her about this, and she mentioned her busy schedule and struggle with anxiety/depression. I know she struggles with anxiety and depression, and tends to push people away when upset, despite all my efforts to try and comfort her. She also admitted to me that she relapsed and cut a little bit (something she apparently hasn't done in months).
Other than the periods of time when she is depressed, the relationship is perfectly normal and she is very affectionate. But in her depressive state, she barely communicates at all. I want to remind her that there are 2 people in this relationship and that I want to support her and that communication is key, but I am afraid she will just push me away even more.
On top of that, she has major sports obligations back at college, where her afternoons will be preoccupied roughly 6 days a week. For a few months. Between her mental health and sports obligations, I'm at a loss as to how often I will see her or what the relationship will be like.
I totally love this girl and she has said that she loves me. But I don't know if I can play the long-distance game for another 2 months given her tendency to push people away when they are trying to help.
TL;DR: | Current GF is acting distant and blames it on mental health. I want to support her but I'm not sure whether sticking with it is the best course of action. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (24M) girlfriend's (22F) favourite dress is the ugliest thing ever. How do I get her to stop wearing it?
POST: I've been dating my girlfriend for three months now. Normally her style is pretty nice – simple/classic, like lots of one colour things, yeah I guess pretty simple and stylish.
She has this ONE dress though that I fucking hate. It's such an eyesore – its got otters all over it in like sailor hats and boats and that sort of thing. Think SUPER childish. The print is so busy, it makes me feel like my girlfriend has turned into a where's wally book. She honestly looks like a character out of a kids book in this thing and I have no idea why she is so obsessed with it. It wouldn't be as annoying if she only wore it occasionally, but it's literally her favourite dress. Like the first one she puts on after a wash – she would absolutely wear it once a week. She doesn't wear it to work though, she only wears it in her free time so she wears it ALL THE TIME when we're on dates.
I just find it really embarrassing. It's such a stupid childish dress and not appropriate for nice dinners and shows and stuff. I've tried to be as diplomatic as possible here – I've said stuff like "I love your blue dress, why don't you wear that tonight" and sometimes she'll take my suggestion but other times she'll be like "no I want to wear my favourite one!!" and so that's what she wears. It annoys me she doesn't take my feelings into consideration seeing as though she's going on the date with me, so surely she wants to look good for me?
She loves it because otters are her favourite animal, but I don't get it. I fucking love tacos but I'm sure as shit not going to wear a taco print jumpsuit out to the movies.
How do I tell her it's ugly without hurting her feelings and making her mad at me? Because at this point I'm honestly considering giving it to my dog and claiming it was an accident when he shreds it.
TL;DR: | my girlfriend has a butt-ugly dress and wears it all the time. How do I get her to stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Need Help Calming down my Tech-illiterate Friend
POST: Note: Don't get all up on my ass for piracy. That's not what this is about.
A friend and I wanted to try out Minecraft, so we used a pirated copy to try LAN play before buying. I installed the game on my XP desktop, my Win7 laptop, and his MacBook Pro. I scanned the game and it returned 0 infected files. Installed and played without incident.
A few days later, he experienced the white screen of death on his Mac, and now he's convinced that I am responsible. How can I convince my friend, who is tech-illiterate, that I didn't cause his system to fail, and that this failure was brought about by something else?
TL;DR: | My friend blames me for hardware failure on his computer, even though I am certain I did not cause it. How can I convince him of this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU for burning drugs in front of all my friends
POST: Well this actually happened 2 years back. I was a 10 years old kid back then and it was during summer holidays, so I met up with all my childhood friends and we had so much fun at my house. We were having a party actually, to celebrate the start of summer. After the party, we decided to go to my backyard to play as we use to do that when we were kids. So since there were 10 of us and we were all "grown ups" the place we use to hang out were quite small for us (Used to hang out in the tree house).
So behind my backyard, we saw a stack of "hay" it looks unusual and didn't really look like those regular hays you see out there. It was sort of dark green in color. We didn't really pay much attention to it because we were bored so we tends to play with anything. So one of my friend suggested that we burn the "hays" and see what would happen and we all agreed to it. So we took all the "hays" and brought it to some empty land to burn since I do not want to burn down my house.
So one of us took the lighter and decided to burn all of the hays. We stand away from the "hays" as it will get very hot and also it's summer so we stand away from it but stay around to look at how the "hays" got burn. So as it burns, more smokes were produced. Out of a sudden, we got really dizzy but happy at the same time. Some of us started laughing and going really wild. We were getting really high, we didn't know why until the police and firefighters came and then we realise what we burn wasn't really a "hay" but rather it was a drug called Weed.
The police brought us back to my house and told my parents everything, they were furious, but was glad that we were okay. The following day, I read the news and found out that the weed we burned, actually belonged to one of the gangs and they put it there to disguise as a "hay" so the police will not suspect anything.
TL;DR: | burned "hay" and made all my friends really high and found out that it was actually weed that we burned. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] and the Taiwanese girl [28?F] I play sports with
POST: I'm currently living in Taiwan and recently started dancing with a local hip hop dance group. The group is really fun and has been very welcoming to me. It's become one of my main ways to socialize and exercise.
One of the lead dancers in the group is a local girl and after hanging out with her during the sessions and practicing together, I now have a big crush on her 😅
My Chinese skills are very limited (I'm studying, but not very good yet). I think her English seems fine, but she might be shy to speak with me 1-on-1 in English.
If this were any other scenario, I would just be direct and ask her to have dinner or go on a date. But I don't want to make things awkward among the group since I really do have fun hanging out with them.
I feel silly about this whole situation. I barely know her and yet, I have a high-school-era crush that's making me a little crazy.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | I live in Taiwan and participate in a dance group with with locals. There's a girl in the group I have a crush on, what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: I'm [21F] and [25M] Guy used to text a lot but doesn't text as much anymore
POST: I posted this on /r/dating_advice too but I wanted to get your opinions here.
I've been going out with this guy I met on Tinder for about a month now, we've been on 3 dates, each of which has gone really well. We've also been texting at least 3-4 times a day, but up until about 5 days ago he's either not replied at all or has replied once a day. He hasn't said anything about not replying as often, but he has mentioned that he has a big college assignment due which he is working on.
I don't have a lot of experience dating and am still fairly insecure with it all. Has he lost interest or am I overthinking it all and he's just probably really busy? Should I message him again if he doesn't reply after a couple of days?
TL;DR: | guy i've been on a few dates with used to text a lot but doesn't as much anymore, i'm not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My wife asked me why when a half naked girl walks by I automatically look... I told the truth.
POST: Us in our late 20's. Together 7 years, Married 6 years. My wife apparently never understood men and I am only her second real relationship. She asked me last week why I look if a girl walks by.
I explained to her how men have a radar and can pretty much pick a girl out of a crowd and can't help it. It doesn't mean anything and I usually look away.
She was hurt. She took it as if I had cheated on her by being honest about the way men work and how we evolved etc and I just went into too much detail.
We fought for the last week and I've finally told her, look its how men work, I could get hard from just getting up off the couch too fast, it doesn't mean I want to hump the couch. Automatically focusing on an attractive lady because she walks by doesn't mean I have any intentions or thoughts about it.
She doesn't understand how much I love her and is really hurt and in a lot of pain. She said she understands but can't help feeling hurt and that she still loves me but is afraid I will run off with some girl. She expected more from me as a good/moral man. Somehow I disappointing her by being human.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | Wife saw me glancing at people without really realizing it, I told her how men work, she thinks I am a cheater |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I can haz friendship?
POST: Here's the deal - I'm a normal geek type guy with a normal life. I've had sex plenty of times (consensual and legal you sick fuck) and have had a good amount of friends in my life - until I moved to where I am at (to remain undisclosed.) Here in this particular part of the country there isn't exactly many people who have much in common with me. I'm your standard love to read, play xbox live, tinker with my all kinds of electronics geek who when I finish my degree in 6 months am looking for friends to move in with *anywhere* in the country. I am so tired of all the damned football playing, gun toting hicks white trash rednecks and fucking dumbasses here.
So will you be my friend? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?
TL;DR: | This place sucks and I want to move in 6 months - wanna be my fwend? Also, I am totally willing to talk to ppl over AIM client per request. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [22M] new to love, when should I suggest escalating to sexual stuff with her [19F] (1.5 Weeks)?
POST: Hey, guys, awkward guy with an awkward question. I'm happily in a relationship with a slightly younger woman, and although she has been in a few relationships, most of them have been shitty, and she's never done more than kissed anyone. In stark contrast, she's my first girlfriend ever, and it feels like I'm walking in an emotional minefield, even though I totally know that this isn't the case. There's very little I could do, outside of physically, emotionally, or verbally abuse her that would actually drive her off (mind you, I would never do any of those, it makes me physically ill.)
I know this is going to sound perverted. I've not even been with her for two weeks (we're already kissing, though, and though we both recognize that we're going fast, I think we are both incredibly comfortable with each other.) As I said, I've never had any experience outside of this relationship, and I've not really follow my friends' relationships (I don't really like to pry.)
All of this said, when is a proper time for a man to suggest and/or initiate sexual contact? I'd use the base analogy if I ever could understand it, but unfortunately, I don't, and this post is being written against a clock at the moment. I understand it's likely a few months off, but I am truly curious. It isn't an obsession, but with how close we are already, I'm beginning to believe that it's almost an inevitability.
Thanks a lot for any feedback, I'll likely come back and edit this later, but I'm literally running out the door!
TL;DR: | I've never had any experience in a prior relationship, and neither does she. When is the best time to advance our relationship to the intimate level? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my gf [28 F] 4yrs, is this acceptable behavior or am I crazy?
POST: Ok.
So we have been living together for years and things were always fine. In the past year, I have been studying for and taking the CPA exams so that I can make more money, be more successful, etc. it's a LOT of work. I legit have been studying for 2-4 hours every day for the last 11months and to date am 3/4 of the way done.
During this time, the gf has begun drinking a lot, mostly as a result of a friend of hers that randomly decided she's 21 again and thinks getting wasted on a work night is a good idea. She regularly tries to pressure me into going out to drink and acts like I don't like her or her friends when I decline.
I am studying full time so I can't afford the nights out or the hangovers the following day. I have talked to her about this multiple times. She keeps going out without me.
I am upset that she doesn't seem to care at all that I would LIKE to
go out but literally cannot. And she parades it past me every weekend.
Fast forward to right now, and she is downstairs in my house with like 15 people who are drinking and YELLING before they go out to the bar. They have already been here for an hour. I take my last exam on Saturday so I'm in anxiety freakout mode studying.
Is this massively disrespectful or am I over reacting?
TL;DR: | GF doesn't seem to care that I need to study, gets wasted all the time, and has parties in my house when I'm trying to study. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [28F] boyfriend [29M] of 1 year semi-broke up with me, then immediately changed his mind. Need some guidance.
POST: A few days ago, my boyfriend who I love a ton and see myself with forever semi-broke up with me. He told me he was scared he couldn't make me happy enough... that I needed too much and he wasn't sure he could give it to me. He said he thought this was something innate in me, that couldn't change.
I completely broke down, but then after an hour or so we realized this was a changeable thing (I've been taking him for granted. He does the most amazing things for me all the time, and I've just gotten used to it so haven't been appreciating it like I need to), so he decided he did not want to break up. He realized he should've just brought this issue up to me as a discussion a month ago when he started to feel it, but he didn't know how and was scared. He's introverted and not confrontational at all, whereas I bring up every issue I have with him because I think that's healthy. He promised that next time something comes up, he'll tell me right away instead of letting it build up in his head.
We had an amazing weekend together. He told me I'm the love of his life, that he knows 200% now that he wants to be with me, and that he made a huge, dumb mistake by trying to break up.
I'm ecstatic that we aren't breaking up, but I'm just so confused and so blind sighted. The thought that keeps running through my head is, how can we make it long term if he was willing to give me up? How do I get over that?
So if there's anyone out there who has gone through a similar situation, I'd love some insight.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend semi-broke up with me, but we stayed together. Now I'm wondering how to get over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: M[24] ~~F[29, 23, 26]~~ With three failed relationships over the past 16 months, I'm beginning to doubt that what I'm looking for is realistic?
POST: M(24) just had to break it off w/F(26) tonight...4 months.
I'm an active, young professional and relatively career focused. I'm not ready to settle down for a few more years, but I still long for the fun and companionship that only a girl can provide. I have had the hook ups of college, as well as a some serious relationships under my belt. Neither seem like a good fit for where I am in life right now. Is there a happy middle ground? In the last 18 months I've had 3 failed attempts to find some with the most recent ending tonight. They've all developed into more than I bargained for, and all ended with someone getting their feelings hurt. I'm tired of getting heart broken or breaking hearts.
TL;DR: | Is having fun and companionship really a possibility without it getting serious? or does it always have to turn into more? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: "Minorities" of Reddit: do you ever think about how represented you are in design?
POST: I've done a lot of work managing web and print projects, often for local government or charity-type organisations.
There's a special kind of middle-management panic when a design is produced which shows people in it: "we have to be representative! We must show at least one woman, several ethnic groups, and if possible someone with a disability!". This is rarely a problem, but when a design shows just one person, there seems to be an awful white middle class guilt horror taking over; "who are we going to show? WHO?".
Don't get me wrong: on a design with lots of photography a good mix of images should be pretty diverse and usually is without thinking about it. But I've seen it get to a ridiculous level: no official "ratios", but certainly to the point that we need to photoshop someone in to an image to make it more "diverse", or hold a photoshoot to replicate a stock image of someone so we've got several options to cycle through.
Now, when I visit a site or see a design, I don't really notice if an image is a man or woman or what ethnic group they belong to... but then I'm white and middle class. So I've been wondering if the extra expense, development work (randomly changing images...), photoshoots, and hand-wringing is actually worth it? Does anyone who's actually supposed to be represented care that much?
Also, I now feel like a massive racist, so I'm as guilty as anyone of the white middle class guilt thing.
TL;DR: | are bureaucrats right to spend time and money making design as "inclusive" as possible, or do people really not care, as long as it's not just carelessly white male middle class? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [19/M] am afraid of trivializing my new girlfriend [20/F] after we have sex.
POST: Hello Reddit.
I'm now entering my first relationship in over a year. I have spent the last two semesters talking to a lot of different girls, and on two occasions I had fwb situations with some of them. Sunday I went on a date with an awkward (but very smart and sweet) girl who spends a lot of time in solitude. She is much less experienced than I am. When we kissed on Sunday she got really into it and I could tell that she was way more excited and into me than I to her. I don't know if she can separate her physical desires from the reasons she likes me. I on the other hand, am worried that too much physicality is going to devalue her to me. I want a relationship based on our admiration for one another, but I'm afraid that having sex (as I'm sure many men can relate) will have an impact on the way I look at her. To me she is very innocent because she's inexperienced. I'm afraid that sex will put me into too much of a mentality of power over her, instead of me seeing her as an equal. First off is this unreasonable? Second, what can I do to fix it, or is there no hope in trying?
TL;DR: | Afraid of sex in a relationship bcuz emoshunzzz even though I don't have a problem hooking up. I guess. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Which parent do I live with? Help.
POST: So, last night I told my mom I wanted to move to my dads. Since I've been born my parents have been fighting for custody over me. The struggle has always been me wanting to move to my dad's, but my mom convincing me. Let me explain the two situations real quick. At my dad's, I spend the summers. We bowl leagues (proffesional stuff) go shooting, we're going to fix up a car, we do a lot of things. My step mom's son Nicky moved out there so I'd also have someone there to keep me company after school until the parents get home. My mom, her boyfriend and I live in a small but nice apartment. My brother just went off to college so I get pretty lonely. However my mom just got a new job, allowing her to work less hours and is closer to home. She also said we would start doing things on the weekends to keep me from being less lonely. I didn't know that she would be working less hours or that we would do things on the weekends, and now I'm lost. I've already told my dad I was thinking about moving out, who has been waiting years for me to finally do it, every year I wuss out and I feel like I dissapoint him and just keep getting his hopes up. I'm really confused right now and have no idea what to do. I need advice. I can't really prove any of this, I guess all I can give ya is that I can't think of any sick bastard who would make up the shit I've gone through for attention. I'm really just asking for help here.
TL;DR: | I used to be lonely at my mom's, so i said I wanted to move to my dad's, but she got a new job so she'll be at home more and now I'm confused on what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My roommate [22/M] of three years is an alcoholic. I [22/M] feel like I could have helped, but now coming home just makes me depressed and I don't even want to be around him anymore.
POST: My roommate and I were friends in high school and came to college at the same time. Things were mostly okay for the first couple years, but then he started drinking and staying in more and I started spending more time with girlfriends. Nowadays he pretty much only leaves the house to go to class or buy groceries. He gets drunk probably six nights a week. I've seen him passed out on the couch more times than I can count. This is kind of only part of us growing apart.
He's also gotten really argumentative; he was always opinionated but nowadays it seems like every time we talk it's a pointless argument over something completely inconsequential. The apartment never gets any cleaner unless I do something about it. Trash goes unemptied, dishes go unwashed, and the floors just aren't clean at all. He watches TV pretty much all day. I always know when he's home because I can hear his TV in my room at any hour. Lately he's been keeping odd hours; going to bed at 7:30 and then waking up and watching more TV around 12 or 1, which has woken me up on a few occasions, as has him watching TV in the early hours of the morning.
I'm honestly afraid to say anything. He's threatened me with a knife on several occasions. I don't think he has any respect for me. We disagree politically, and I think he thinks I'm weak for it. He's graduating in May but our leases don't expire until August; I have a job in the next town over but I haven't figured out my living situation for the summer (or for the fall) just quite yet. I thought about staying at the apartment, but honestly if he stays here over the summer I'm not going to. I don't even feel welcome here anymore.
I'm bummed out because I feel like I could, *should* have stepped in at some point. But he's too proud and too stubborn to listen to anyone else, especially me. And now I feel like my living situation being like this is my fault.
TL;DR: | my roommate is (possibly inadvertently) making my living situation really depressing. We only have a few months left together, so is it worth saying/doing anything? Maybe I just needed to vent. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What did I do that my boyfriend's friends don't like me? [18m/19f]
POST: Sorry this might be kind of long.. but any input would be grateful here
So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for now almost a year. In the beginning he took me to meet his friends, and we all got along great. We all had the same interests. I'm into video games just as much as they all are. It was awesome because we all played the same games, and when we would hang out everyone had the same movie tastes and everyone could peacefully agree on something to do or watch.
(I'm not one of those girlfriends that constantly needs the attention on her, and I'm definitely not one that needs to make the decisions for everyone.) Basically, I went along with everything my boyfriend and his friends wanted to do, and I honestly didn't mind because I enjoyed the things we did.
Fast forward to the past couple of months, and now his friends won't play any games with us because we are "bad at them". I'm no professional at games, but I'm not completely terrible either. We are all average casual gamers. Needless to say, I was hurt that they didn't want my boyfriend or me playing with them anymore. Also, the last times that we all hung out they would say somewhat rude comments to me, and I would brush them off, try and laugh, and then try to forget about it.
Now, I have been nothing but nice to his friends. Some of the things that I've done for them are having them over for LAN parties, just having them over to hang out, letting them eat my food, borrowing them money when we went out for food, bought one of them a birthday cake, gave one of them a haircut, when one of them bought computer parts, I put together his whole computer for him, and when they would need girl advice they came to me, and I always tried to help them out to the best of my ability.
I'm just wondering what I did wrong that they aren't barely speaking to my boyfriend anymore. They haven't tried to talk to me either for about a month and a half. I'm at a loss here.
TL;DR: | boyfriend's friends won't talk to him or me anymore, and I have been nothing but friendly to them throughout our whole relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Let's be constructive, Reddit: what advice would you give to forever-alones who want to get laid/find a girlfriend?
POST: There's a lot of posts taking the piss out of forever-alones, particularly the ones that call them shallow or self-entitled for thinking they deserve a hot, caring girlfriend. As if it's a bad thing to want the girl of your dreams. The problem is, the forever-alone male often has no clue how to change his fate, so it seems like he's just bitching on the internet about how girls don't throw themselves at him.
So Reddit, what advice would you give a forever-alone guy who wants to change his fate and is willing to put in the effort, but has no idea where to start? Feel-good, banal advice like "just be yourself" or "get more style" is useless: your student is utterly clueless and needs to have his hand held. You need to give him internet links to resources, thorough explanations of how to have simple social interactions, give him people to emulate, etc.
Small rant, this kind of meticulous advice is what PUAs try to give to lonely guys, it's pretty for the hivemind to knock PUAs and not offer any help themselves
TL;DR: | If your best friend was a massive forever-alone and told you he would kill himself if you didn't help him find a hot girlfriend by the end of the year, how would you help him succeed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO [24M] and I [23F] have been so busy/stressed lately. Together 1.5yr. Advice on bringing back the spark with little time/energy available for intimacy?
POST: Looking for ideas!
My boyfriend and I both work. I have final exams (graduating this December!), he is an accountant, we have a needy dog (who we LOVE), and we just moved into a new house together.
With:
-Moving
-Cleaning
-Unpacking
-Studying
-Working
-Dog-care
-Family Events (Ex. Middle school basketball games)
-Friend Events (Ex. Thursday night football group)
Offered to make the boyfriend a bubble bath yesterday for his achey muscles. Being mocho, this was not at the top of his list and instead we spent hours unpacking and then we were so tired we went straight to bed.
What are some little things some of you throw in when your schedules are conflicting or just too full?
TL;DR: | Advice on bringing back the spark when we have little time/energy available for intimacy? Our schedules don't really slow down until April! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [17 M] Girlfriend [17 F] keeps talking to other guys on Skype behind my back.
POST: So me and my girlfriend have been dating for 2 weeks now, everything is going alright but recently she met this dude online who she plays League of Legends (an online MOBA) with and has been playing with him till late at night.
She knows the guy likes him, because the guy told her that he did. One day I asked to play with them because I'm curious about what they are doing and talking about in the Skype call but she refuses to let me join in and makes excuses to avoid letting me join. I want to talk to her about it, but I feel like it would make me come off as clingy because we have barely been dating.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is skyping some other dude for 6 hrs late at night behind my back and I dont know if I should confront her about it because we havent been dating for that long. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should you plan your career and wait for opportunities that align with it, or take great opportunities as they come, even if they're not in the direction you forsaw?
POST: I'm a civil engineer-in-training. I decided a few months ago I was going to try to develop a career in X. Or then, maybe I just wasn't happy where I was at the time. I quit my job, sought out all the opportunities in that area, and some of them look bright...but things are moving very slowly in general right now.
Recently I've been sought out by a local organization. They're public so amazing benefits, very secure, etc. They want me to fill a new position they're putting together because I came very highly recommended by my former employer. The problem? Not civil engineering -- not even close. I've been out of school for a few years now and the longer I'm out of the engineering realm, the harder it is for me to get back into it. Still, it's a very attractive opportunity. The position is largely undefined and part of my role would be to develop it as I see fit.
So then. How does one become successful? Should you map out where you want to go and stick with it? Bypass opportunities that don't align and wait for something to come up so you can gradually take yourself through a steady career development? Or do you take things as they come and hope for the best?
TL;DR: | An opportunity came up that will take me in a very different direction than what I studied/planned for. Do I pursue it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 M] may end it with my great GF [27 F] of 4 years, but I'm unsure if it's because my curiosity & standards are too high/unnecessary.
POST: I started dating her when I was 19. Let me start off by saying that although we've had a few breaks, it's been a happy relationship. She is very supportive and a wonderful girlfriend for the most part, but I'm contemplating ending it out of the curiosity to date other people.
With the exception of a few hookups during brief relationship "breakups", I haven't slept with more than a handful of other people.
That, coupled with the fact that I somewhat regularly find myself thinking that she isn't the "most beautiful girl in the room" (to me) because of her weight/shape/demeanor (i feel so bad for saying that though) really makes me curious about dating and sleeping with other people.
I regularly find myself in situations where i have the ability to sleep with other girls I find really attractive, but I would never want to make that move and cheat while I'm with her. Although, it does makes me feel like I'm missing out on opportunities.
On the other hand, she is honestly incredibly supportive and giving. She really believes in me as an artist and gives me strength. She helps me push my music career forward and always has unbounding love for what I do which is also so valuable to me. So much so that I may have become dependent on it.
This is usually the reason why I come back to her after I separate us.
There have also been people that have told me that she mothers me at times which can make us co-dependent.
I'm not sure what to do Reddit. Perhaps it's childish to keep her around for support and I should instead find that support within myself or other friends. Or maybe it's less smart to drop it with someone who will go the distance with you.
Im just too naive and scared to make a firm decision I think.
TL;DR: | Should I focus on being independent and having fun, or invest time in someone that really supports me but Im not terribly crazy about? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, Should I lower my standards?
POST: ** Sorry, this belongs in /r/Relationships **
This isn't another "Forever Alone" post.
After reading a ton of these types of posts/comments, I'm seeing a pattern. It looks like almost everyone just wants people out of their league and no one goes for the reasonable. I know it's the same in my case.
I've always been VERY picky. It's hard to describe my 'type' but I can usually tell within minutes if there is a chance. Looks are very important to me, as they cause physical attraction and obviously that is required. I'm pretty sure I'm shooting out of my league a lot of the time; however, I don't know if I should (or even could) lower my standards.
Has anyone tried and been sucessful and still happy with 'settling'? I don't mean just go out and find a random chick you have no interest in and force it, but just a way to be less shallow and less picky. I'm not an ugly guy and I can get attractive girls, but it seems like I'm getting even pickier with age. I'm not really that worried about it, since marriage isn't something I feel I must have, but I'd hate to miss out on a life changing girl because she wasn't just a slight bit cuter so I didn't say Hi.
If you've done this with success, any pointers? *Besides* alcohol
TL;DR: | Should I stick with my high standards until I find a keeper, or up my weight limits and hope for more physical attraction to build based also on personallity? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Unreasonable speed/special hazards ticket for stopping at the scene of an accident
POST: I was driving down a 55 mph limit mountain road in Upstate New York at 11:00 p.m., going approx. 55 mph. I drove around a left-hand turn and saw red and blue flashing lights coming from a police vehicle approx. 100 feet ahead.
I immediately began to slow down. Within seconds I was coming onto the scene. I saw a three car fender bender on the opposite side of the road and a state police cruiser on my side of the road. A person was standing on the side of the road walking into the middle of the road. He was wearing no safety or reflective vest. I noticed the person walking and continued to slow down, having to stop even faster.
He ran up to my stopped car and asked why I hadn't stopped. I explained that I was coming around the turn and slowed down as soon as I saw the lights and person in the road. He asked me to pull over to the side of the road and issued me a ticket for **"unreasonable speed/special hazards."**
The trooper claimed he could have issued a more severe ticket with 4 points on the license, that had to do with a trooper being in danger. But he issued the Unreasonable speed/special hazards ticket instead.
I have no prior traffic infractions. The ticket says that the "supporting deposition provided when this ticket was issued is 'GENERAL (Gen 101A).'" What does that mean?
Should I plea guilty or not guilty? The town is 2.5 hours from my current residence. Does the fact that the trooper was not wearing a safety vest matter? How many points could this have on my license?
TL;DR: | I came around a turn doing the speed limit and came upon an accident and state trooper. I stopped as soon as possible, but received a ticket for 'unreasonable speed/special hazards.' |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by causing a divorce.
POST: I work for a family and divorce lawyer as a secretary, and one of my daily jobs is to call back leads that were emailed to us through a website that connects folks to attorneys. If a client doesn't answer, we leave a voice mail to the extent of "Hi, this is DrawerFullOfDicks with the Law Office of Lawyerly Lawyer, returning a message from an email we received. You may reach us back between the hours of 10 am and 6 pm at (555)DIV-ORCE." I called a few on the list, leaving our message.
About 20 minutes after I finished making calls, the phone rang with one of the numbers I recently called showing on the caller ID. I answered using our greeting, and heard an angry wife on the other end. "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS???" Her voice was very shrill, and as I calmly tried to tell her the name of our office and attorney and what we specialize in, she began yelling "He is going to divorce ME? THAT UGLY DUMB [insert angry wife obscenities here]. I will take that fat son of a bitch for everything he's worth! I'm calling MY lawyer!" and slammed the phone down. Keep in mind, I never got to say who I was actually calling for.
Now, this is not an uncommon occurrence here (spouses flying off the handle about their divorces) so I hung up and continued working. About an hour later a number called in that was 1 digit off from the first I called. It was a polite caller, stating he sent us an email the night before and was expecting a call back but never received one, he wanted to see if we could help facilitate his divorce.
I then realized what happened: I called the wrong number and left a voice mail from a divorce attorney, the woman on the other end assumed her husband was divorcing her, so she decided to go on and start that process herself (or at least that's what her yelling indicated).
Still waiting to hear from her husband...
TL;DR: | I left a voice mail from a divorce attorney on the wrong person's voice mail, his wife heard, decided she would start that process from her end preemptively. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: [Update] Contract job dismissing me in a month. Can I get unemployment? Do I have get my boss a gift for this party?
POST: Original here.
I work as a contract employee at a corporation. Basically a staffing agency placed me at this location and I work there full time 9-5 like it's a normal job, but I am essentially employed at the staffing agency. Without giving away what I do, I work in advertising. When they hired me, they said it was long-term and intended to keep me on. I saw them post the same job when they hired me and they said it was for an additional position.
Been here a month. I feel like they don't treat me like they treat the other contract worker here. We both came from the same staffing agency. Then when they introduced me to people, they would say I was helping out until they hired someone senior. I freaked out and called my staffing place.
Turns out they JUST told my agent they want someone more senior. I made it very clear in the interview I was a junior employee and just graduated. I think they fucking lied so get me in until they found who they wanted. I feel like it was dirty and sneaky. They led me to believe it was long term.
I moved and just signed a lease! I am so fucking fucked. It will problly be a month until I get canned because they have intense hiring standards, but I am so bummed. And I just checked my state, and it says I have to have 20 weeks to get unemployment. Is that absolute? I live with my bf and don't get help from parents, and my field is very competitive. I have no idea how long it will take me to find a job.
Also, my fellow employees are throwing a "baby" shower for my boss and want people to bring a book as a gift. I don't feel like doing this, and I don't wanna gift someone who is gonna fire me. Protocol here? He is the only one who decides to fire me, and he was the one who led me to believe it was long term. So I am pretty mad at him.
TL;DR: | getting canned in about a month, lead me to believe it is long term, very upset, can i get unemployment, coworkers throwing party for boss, don't wanna get gift. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My wife has some pretty severe back pain, that has lasted off and on for a few years. I have some ideas to help, does anyone know if these would help?
POST: Like the title says, she has had some sharp and overall lower to mid back aches and pains. This particular occurrence has lasted about a week. She's seen a doctor before, as well as a chiropractor and done massage therapy (though not regularly) before, but it only provides temporary relief. I'm of the opinion that it may help the most to strengthen and stretch her back on her own. Currently, she works out 3-4 times a week, and has lost about 25 lbs since December, but it hasn't really helped with her back issues. Her workouts are primarily spinning (stationary bike), and some weights or a treadmill/elliptical machine.
At home, she spends a lot of time reading, I would say at least 4 hours a day. She usually does this reclining on the couch or in the bed. I think this might be a part of the problem. The suggestion I want to make, is that at least part of the time she spends reading, she does so while sitting on an exercise ball, and focuses on her posture. This should provide good exercise for her back and abs while not exerting too much effort.
In addition to that, doing something like yoga a couple times a week at her gym.
Any thoughts, or other ideas that could help? She did get a massage a couple days ago, which temporarily helped again. The masseuse suggested she get a doctors note so we can use insurance for the massages and a chiropractor (which we'd end up using our HSA). I'm willing to spend the money on it if it will help, but it just hasn't in the past. Just looking for other options.
TL;DR: | Wife has bad lower back pain that has affected what she can do with the kids and around the house. Looking for good ways she can relieve that pain. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, can you help me find out exactly what kind of scam this "company" is running to potentially save a friend's business?
POST: A good friend of mine works at a dance studio, and recently an obvious sleazy pyramid-scheme type guy shows up and convinces her boss to be in some kind of fundraising event for the Troops. The only information given to her is that the dancers will participate in the fundraiser along with other studios, including singers and cheerleaders, and then at a later date they will all be driven by limousine to Hollywood to participate in a music video with "big stars". Every time I've heard him describe the big stars, he just throws different names around. But he makes sure to emphasize that it's "for the troops".
So we get to the event that took place in Fullerton, CA at a hotel this past Saturday 3/3, and there are other competition studios and singers and what appears to be an upstart pop group headlining. Then he announces that the troop that they were to perform for, had been deployed that very morning. *Convenient?* This leaves the audience consisting only the parents of the performers and the owners of the organizations invited, and they ask for donations at a small table in the back of the room. It was all very awkward and the production was a mess.
I read one of the pamphlets and I notice they are doing this on behalf of their "parent company", something called [PEC Research] I found the website, and it's some strange company trying to upstart an electric car that can drive 50,000 miles on one charge, (apparently around the world twice), and they are constantly trying to fund raise and get performers of all kinds to headline events for them. I can't find anything else past this, and I can't figure out their true intent.
Any help would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | Strange scam I can't figure out has a hold of a good friend's dance studio owner's ear and doesn't realize it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18/M] met a girl[19/F], went on a date with said girl, and left completely confused. No idea what to do.
POST: Also, sorry if this isn't the right sub, if it's not, would love advice on where to post. Anyway, I met a girl today, we seemed to connect pretty quick. I met her at her work, and told her about a cool place to grab a bite and asked if she wanted to meet me there after she got off work. So she agrees happily, fast forward a couple hours, we both show up to said place. We were there for maybe an hour but we talked and laughed and seemed to click pretty quick. She seemed very jittery like she was nervous and was constantly blushing and all the little girly signs of affection. We go to leave, and before we say our goodbyes I ask for her number. She just kinda giggles and says no. I was completely dumbfounded as it seemed like she was really into me. So I just think she was joking at first and I was like really? And she was apparently being serious because I didn't get it. I'm ok with being turned down(you can't help who you like, I understand), but should I assume she's playing hard to get and casually ask her again sometime, or did I just misread everything and she's totally not into me? I don't want to bother her again and seem like a stalker but I have genuinely never had this happen.
TL;DR: | met a gorgeous girl, had a great time on a date, she ended up rejecting me after the date, now I'm confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is my (26m) friend (24f) using me to get her house done?
POST: I am a pretty hand guy for home improvements, minor mechanics and some carpentry. If some one needs my help, I will say yes 9 times out of 10. My friend (we will call her Z) has been doing some remodeling projects over the past year when she can afford them. So, since I consider her one of my closest friends i agree to help when she needs it.
Well sometimes she stands me up or cancels on our plans. Usually i don't mind since she is a busy single mother (the father left when she refused to get an abortion and has never even met his daughter). Usually I only have a problem when she does it for long periods of time (a few weeks or more) and the only plans she keeps are the ones i am helping her with.
The one that really pissed me off was last week. I made dinner for her, her daughter and myself. Z texted me around the time she was supposed to be here saying she had to run a quick errand. That quick errand turned into 2 hours. So i texted her "nevermind. The food is cold and gross now." Later when she finally gave me an excuse it didn't make sense. I've gone with her on those trips before and it never takes more than 30 minutes. It is a run in and run out kind of situation. She never texted me to tell me she was running later then she thought she would be. And then this weekend she kept saying "we will do this. We will do that." But never actually followed through.
Last night I went to a bar with a couple of friends (Z was supposed to be there but changed her mind) and i was telling them about the dinner. Their advice was "throw that bitch to the curb." Are they right? Is it a lost cause?
TL;DR: | My friend will go for long periods of time where the only plans she keeps are when i am helping her. Even caused me to waste time and money cooking a dinner she stood me up on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my ex-gf [22 F] 6-year, we have been calling each other.
POST: My ex-girlfriend and I broke up 6 months ago. I called her after a month and wanted to get things straight but she reused because she was talking to another guy she was interested in (she says not, but of course, all girls say that). One month ago I realized they are now official a couple. We have been talking every 2 weeks, either she calls me or I do (most of the times when we are drunk).
Two weeks ago we saw each other and talked for a long time. We talked about our mistakes in our relationship and how we could have done better. Long story short she said she doesn't want to hurt me. I believe because she is confused or whatever.
Four days ago we talked again and decided to see each other. She said she wanted to smoke weed with me so I rented an hotel room and we smoked together. She talked most of the time about quotes of a book she has been reading "Women Who Love Too Much".
We talked about a lot of things and at the end we had sex then she had to leave to a friends house. By 3 AM she sent me SMS messages and I left the next day out of the country for business. I replied that I had a great time, that I missed her, etc..
I don't know if I did good but I asked her if she wanted to go on vacation with me. Asked her to think about and let me know. She replied "I will". That was on Saturday and haven't heard from her since then.
I'm confused about everything. I don't know if she has a boyfriend to get back to me or just playing me. I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | My ex-gf and I just had sex four days ago and she has a boyfriend. I believe she is confused. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Peculiar Situation
POST: Basically, there's this girl I like. We've attended the same school for two years (a high school college dual enrollment program), and I've had a crush on her from the moment we first met (not even joking - she walked over on orientation day and said hello to my best friend, and I fell pretty hard). I even asked her out about a week after we met (in a ridiculously over-the-top and embarrassing manner which I don't want to post even anonymously), and she replied by saying that she didn't want a relationship. Since then, we've been friends, but there's been some obvious tension as I still have a crazy crush on her (which she may or may not even realize). I asked her to prom months ago, and she initially accepted, until about a week later when she realized that maybe I didn't want to just go as friends. In these two months, I've tried to remain civil and just be friends, but it's hard.
Personally, I think we'd be really perfect for each other, and have a ridiculous amount of stuff in common intellectually and emotionally. We get along great as friends, there is never a lull in the conversation, and we have similar senses of humor. She just doesn't want a relationship with ANYONE right now, allegedly because it would get in the way of school. This is even more ironic because until I met her, I had no interest in a relationship of any kind and viewed high-school relationships as pointless and shallow.
Anyway, now it's college season for us high-school seniors, and we've applied to some of the same colleges. We actually had the same top choice and were both accepted, but today I found out that she turned down her acceptance offer. So, what I'm here to ask:
1. Should I still try to pursue a possible future relationship considering everything (if more details are needed just comment and I can add, I just figured this post was getting pretty long)? Should I try and make a move now or wait?
2. Do you think she declined the college offer BECAUSE it was my first choice? It was for a pretty nice school, and as far I know most of the money was covered for both of us.
TL;DR: | I like this girl, we fit well together, she doesn't want a relationship and we're probably going to different colleges. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[25m] bumped into this girl[20f] it happened so fast and I told her that I love her... Now I feel like guilty and stupid
POST: I just met this girl on a sunny day who was walking towards me right then and there we exchanged numbers and then after 3 hours she called to meet me and we end up making out near our university lake, I got in to this romantic mode thing and I said I have this first sight love with her.
She met me again after that day and I bring her to my room for the "coffee" we started making out and while I was removing her clothes she gave me this weird look and said she has never done it before and this is too fast for her (she is virgin). I was too horny to stop I ended up touching her body with my hands she seemed nervous and undelightful with that she asked me to stop because she wanted to go back to her dorm before it gets closed, so I let her go.
Now I think it was really too fast for me to do all that I am currently single but I think this girl is really too young for me and seems over emotional and over attach and I am afraid she might get hurt in this, so I decided to stay away from her. She asked me to meet again after that day and I refused. I know I am too old for this but I have never been into a situation where I have to control myself like this and let other know what is good for her.
Please advice how do I tell her that it was too fast? Is it better to talk to her about this on the message/IM or talk to her physically which one is better?
TL;DR: | I over excitedly told 20y old girl that I love her in first sight but now I think it was too fast. How do I tell her about it as she seems a little immature? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend[18M] and his gf [18F] (3 months), please help me help him with his LDR problem
POST: my friend (let's call him max) met this girl (let's call her Rachel), 10 months ago, and after 7 months of friendship, they got into a really great relationship. I've genuinely never seen him as happy as when he's talking to or about her. However, they met abroad in a language program and are both from different countries. He's going to the states next year and she's doing two more years at the program. They're in this really strange semi-together place that I think could end up really hurting them.
So max is basically head over heels for her and Rachel is the same, but Rachel told him that she definitely wanted to break up. Max hasn't told her yet but he really wants to be with her but he knows he can't do long distance. They talked on the phone yesterday and she ended up crying or something because she missed him. Anyway, I'm currently traveling with him in different places and he can't stop thinking about her. I'm doing everything I can to keep him entertained and happy so that he can use this as a "turning point" or something and make it easier, but they're still talking as if they were together. They're half way around the world from each other, max will be starting college in the fall and they have no plans to change their plans. So, it would be about 2.5-4 years until they see each other next. I've seen my friends go down this road and I hate telling him what I've seen, but I don't want to see him get hurt months down the line. What can I do?
Extra info about them that I think might be important.: they're both trilingual and communicate with their non-mother tongue (far from fluent but he says communication isn't a problem). Rachel is max's first. Mac is really sensitive and broke down pretty visibly one time when he found out his crush had a boyfriend. I'll think of some more stuff later
TL;DR: | friend is in a LDR across the world and won't see her for at least 2.5 years. Help me do whatever I can to do whatever is right |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: It will be my [28/m] 5yr anniversary with my girlfriend [26/f] tomorrow, I have $8.00 and I need help!
POST: A little history because we have been trough so much together it's hard to put down in words. We met and fell in love instantly, our souls connected. I loved her the moment our eyes met that is the truth. We have gone through 3 apartments in two states, many life changes and we have always been there for each other. I love her way more today than ever we met things have been really hard lately and we have not had the money to "date", a very important factor in maintaining all parts of the relationship. At the moment she just quit her job she hated and has since found employment but has not started working yet, I am a fundraiser for charity so my checks alone do lot leave a penny to spare and she knows that leaving her job at that particular time was going to leave celebration of our anniversary behind as well, so she is not expecting ANYTHING, so I want to do something totally amazing so any ideas would help
TL;DR: | 5 years together, $8.00, she is not expecting anything (I also don't have a car, and we live in LA if that helps with ideas) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [26/m] am having trouble with knowing too much about my girlfriend [21/f].
POST: To begin, I love my girlfriend with all of my heart. Everything has been amazing, and even when things aren't, we work through them together. We physically, emotionally, and mentally stimulate each other in ways that neither of us have ever felt before. To say that we're serious is an understatement. However, there is one issue we're both trying to deal with, but I seem to be having a bit more trouble than she is.
The Problem: Before we started dating, we hung out quite a bit. We had the type of friendship where we could sit for hours on end just talking and never get bored. During this time, we both talked about our past relationships a lot, including the sex. It wasn't uncommon for us to go into get detail as we tried to one up each others sexual exploits. After we started dating and becoming more serious, this came back to bite us in the ass. She has her moments, but she seems to be coping well enough. I, however, have a terribly vivid imagination.
Additional Details: We've talked about this problem together, and we both always come out of the conversation feeling better. I tend to let it get to me more often than she does, so I end up bringing it up more frequently. I'm trying my best to deal with this because it's not fair to her that I keep digging up the past. I want to fix this, for both of our sake.
A Bit More About Me Specifically: I don't care that she's been with other guys. I love her and accept her for who she is, and I wouldn't change a thing. My problem is that I know details that I wish I didn't. Every so often, a terrible mental image of her and one of her exs invades my mind, and I can't get rid of it. It doesn't help that she's an amazing woman and most of her exs were scumbags.
The Question: Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with detailed mental images of my girlfriend with other guys? The best I've come up with is that my imagination is probably worse than the real thing, but it doesn't seem to help.
TL;DR: | I have a vivid imagination and I know details about my girlfriend's sex life before me. I'm worried that it's going to drag us both down. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I suppose the implied friendzone was not clear enough
POST: (ok. first time posting so honestly, not sure if this even works. if you're reading this, good!) background: guy (m 17) and myself (f16) been best friends for about 2 years, we are on opposite ends of the relationship compatibility spectrum. thats sugar coating for me being completely out of his league. for example, weekend nights im either at a football game or hanging out whereas he would be at home reading about England's stock market. despite that, we have tons in common and the same sense of humor.
dilemma -he likes me and i didnt realize this until a good bit after he asked me to an upcoming dance. i assumed our friendship/ social differences was beyond a doubt enough to "friendzone" him, as i automatically thought that he was asking as friends.
He wasnt.
however, i already had agreed to his invite but i dont like leading him on. Id hate to cancel things if he already bought my ticket . so after the dance im thinking about approaching him on the subjct. Any nice way to strongly suggest he give himself some space from me ? And is there any way to not be "that friendzoning bitch" or is that inevitable?
this sucks. help much appreciated.
TL;DR: | best friend asks me to a dance, i say yes (assuming its as friends), find out he actually likes me, dont want to lead him on. nice way to cut things? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My GF (F24) of 4 years broke it off with me (M24) saying the spark has gone... What do I do now?
POST: My GF and I have been dating for 4 years. We've recently hit a rough patch after moving in together. She broke it off with me a week ago saying that the spark has gone. She says she could still marry me, settle down and have kids, but she's too young at the moment.
---
I'm willing to make some changes, we never really dated - went straight from friends into married life. It was all quite quick. As a result, we lived in each others pockets, neglected our friends and our own individuality in a sense.
---
She said she wants to be there for me 'during this'. She wants to still remain friends. We're still somewhat talking, although I've been trying to give her space and not instigate things over text message. How much time should I give her before sending her a quick 'hey, how you going?' kind of message? My ultimate goal is to bring the spark back. I want to be more spontaneous. Send her random flowers to work with a little message. I want to take salsa classes together (she loves dancing - something I don't, but willing to do for us). I want to send her secret messages asking her on dates etc. Basically, I know what I want to do, but not how to approach it.
At the moment we haven't spoken for 4 days. This may not seem like a lot for some people, but we spoke continously all the time. As soon as we finished work, we'd call each other and discuss our day(s). We spent so much time together, and I just miss her to pieces. Even as friends (we were friends before we were dating/'married'), we'd speak pretty much every day, or every 2nd day. Any advice would be great - I don't know what to do :<. I'm scared of losing her for good. I'm scared of not going back to what we had. I'm scared of not being able to mend things.
TL;DR: | GF of 4 years broke it off with me - says the spark has gone. I want to try and bring it back, how long do I wait before approaching her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [27/m] have feelings for my best friend. Don't know what to do with her [25/f]
POST: I met her through work about six months ago. I no longer work there, but we live in the same town. We have a great deal in common and get along really great.
Our relationship has been getting progressively more physical in nature. The other night we danced together at the bar, held each other close, and confessed how much we missed each other. ( I work two to three weeks at a time). I hate to sound like a teenager, but extended hugs and constant hand holding doesn't happen to regular guy friends. At least not to me. Last night I came so close to telling her how I felt, but I didn't believe that confessing my feelings for her on the way home from the bar was very appropriate.
My only concern is of course that she does not feel the same way. I don't want to ruin a good friendship. Maybe shes just really nice? I don't know. She didn't mind me wrapping my arms around her all night
This woman is incredible. I would be a fool to let this one slip away, so I'm not going to. Tomorrow I'm going to tell her how I feel before my flight to Europe. I just want some support and /or personal relevant experience.
TL;DR: | I have strong feelings for my best friend. I don't know how she feels. We are very physical if we have any drinks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO [26M] and I [26F] are giving it another shot. How do we not screw it up again?
POST: My SO and I were together for 3.5 years when we very suddenly split in December. It was his decision and I was devastated. Over the last few months we've been talking a lot and yesterday decided to give it another shot. Our biggest issue was communication, no doubt. I love this man with everything I have and while I know I can lose him again, life is better when he's apart of it.
I've spent a lot of time since the split working on myself and he's done the same but I'm still concerned with our communication styles. I tend to be very forceful and dominant and he's more passive. I lay everything out and he bottles. While we've both gotten better, I want us to be great. How to we work together as a team with such different communication styles?
TL;DR: | My SO and I have totally different communication styles. He keeps everything in. I definitely do not. How do we communicate better the second time around? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My GF [21F] belittles me [21M].
POST: I understand that my what I am facing is minuscule as compared to everyone else here but I need some advice. My SO always belittles me. She scolds me like a child, she always vents her anger at me, screaming and shouting. She interrupts whenever I talk and she always has to be right. She can't even answer a "yes or no" question without defending herself which she defines as "justifying her feelings". She's highly melodramatic, just last night I was trying this new app, a snapchat copy but you can't delete what you post which records only 4 seconds. She started raising her voice and shouting at me in public just cause she appeared it it for less than a second. Her reasoning was "she was scared strangers would molest and kill her". I really don't know what else to do, I've noticed that it's only with me she's that way, I've asked her once and her reasoning was she is only able to share her feelings with me. She claims that her shouting cannot be controlled only with me. This has been a persistent problem and been going on for as long as I can remember, probably even before we were together.
Sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile. Sorry for grammar, I'm too distraught. Sorry for the long and what seems to be minuscule post, I don't know what else to do.
TL;DR: | GF scolds, scream at shout at me for little things or me not being the cause, she can't be reasoned with |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Not Noticing a Bag of Dog Shit.
POST: So I work landscaping for the State full time during the summer and can spend up to 6 hours a day on a weed whacker. For me to get through a day like this I just simply allow my mind to wander off and think about whatever (today's topic was the ending of Game of Thrones...pretty sure I nailed it.) Anyways, it was one of those endless weed whacking type of days. I was tasked with hitting this mile long trail that is used by people on nice days and many bring their dogs. So about half way through I get to the focal point, a fountain, and I am weed whacking around and under an elevated trashcan. All of the sudden some mud flies up in my face and arms. I stop because I need to wipe it off my goggles. At this point I begin to realize that the mud smells pretty damn bad. I look down under the trash and see i hit a green plastic bag....I look closer and see it has an image of a bone on it...a little closer and see it is filled with brown stuff...its a bag of Dog Shit. In my daze I hit a bag of dog shit and covered myself in it. At that point I said to myself "Fuck this job, I'm quitting." Obviously that was just me being a bitch and reacting poorly, because I got over it. But luckily by the fountain there was a hose spigot where I went and washed my hands and face. The worst part was explaining to my co-workers why it smelt like shit when I got in the truck.
TL;DR: | Zoned out while weed whacking at work, hit a bag of dog shit and covered myself in it...still finished out the day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my former fling [18 M/F] 1 month, she still calls me.
POST: We had a whirlwind of a romance, connected emotionally before physically. She came onto me and made most of the first moves in the initial stages of meeting. We had tons of intimate conversations about her life and problems, as well as mine. I know much of her family history, and our sex was great and passionate.
Well, with her family problems she became more irritated with life, eventually lashing out at me for no reasons at all. She had major jealousy issues, I hung out with one of her gay best friends and she accused me of letting him give me a blowjob. Twice. She's the first girl where sex hasn't just been about an orgasm, I felt connected to her on a deeper level. I allowed myself to become attached, which I never do. We ended things on bad terms, she told me to have fun with her gay best friend because "You obviously found something in him you didn't see in me". I am now close friends with that gay friend of hers, and I think she's still jealous, as they are no longer friends.
It's been about 2 weeks since we've ended things, and through mutual connections I've come to find out she has a new man in her life, who she's apparently very into. We haven't talked in a week, but out of the blue she called me twice. I didn't answer, I didn't want to argue. I've decided to go no contact, but it makes me curious why she still calls.
TL;DR: | Whirlwind romance, family problems ensue, we end things badly, she finds a new man, and continues to call me. Why would she call me if she has a new man already? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 M] seem to get attached to girls too easily and now I'm confused as to when I should hit them up
POST: When I have a great night with a girl, I automatically want to hang out with them the next day but the problem is that it can come off as clingy which I do not want to be. People have told me that I should talk/text/call them whenever I feel like it but because I had a great time with them, it's usually me being the one to initiate the talk/text/call. I suppose I never give girls time to want to hit me up because I always do it first. Now it's just confusing me. Had a great night with a girl yesterday and the whole day today, I wasn't sure if I should hit her up or give it some time. And now I'm wondering when would be a good time to hit her up next. Honestly, I just want to be me and if I feel like I want to text/call them, then I much rather just do that. But so far that hasn't been working for me haha My friends say that I rush it and I agree. How do I stop?
TL;DR: | After a great night with a girl, I'll immediately want to hang out with them consecutively. How can I stop myself from trying to rush things? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] am getting feelings for my coworker [21F] while in a 3 year relationship with my first girlfriend [22M].
POST: Just some background: I started dating my current girlfriend in highschool and it's been going great with a few ups and downs but nothing that would make me say that this relationship is going downhill. Keep in mind that this is also my first relationship. I recently got a new job and met this girl. We really connect and can go on talking for hours about everything and anything. As of late, I can't stop thinking about her and it kills me knowing that I'm in a relationship with a girl that I already love.
I'm not too sure how to classify it. Maybe what I have with my co-worker is just infatuation or the result of only having had one relationship (my current) in my life. I don't know what to do from here because I can't get my coworker out of my thoughts (not physical attraction really). If I didn't meet my current girlfriend I can definitely see myself going for this girl.
What should I do now? If I should be validating my relationship to dispel my thoughts about the coworker, how should I do it?
TL;DR: | met coworker that I could see a future with while being in a 3 year relationship. Not sure what to do from here on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What weird things have you seen people do in public?
POST: When I was at the library I was waiting behind a guy at one of those machines where you return books.
The guy put a book in the machine and everything went fine.
Then he put another book in the machine and it told him that he needed to wait a few seconds before putting more books in.
He turned the book around and tried again and it worked since he had waited a few seconds.
Then he did this for like five other books and when he was done the machince asked him if he wanted a reciept, he pressed yes and then threw it away.
I was like, maybe he can't read?
But then remembered that I was standing in a library.
TL;DR: | Stood behind a guy in the library that couldn't read, threw away a reciept that he could've chosen not to recieve. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I have a lisp so a lot of the time people mistake what I say and it gets awkward fast. Reddit, what similar situations have you been in?
POST: I was trying to get to know my boss at my new job. So I stereotyped the guy and thought of an interest we would both have that we could further discuss and just the usual small talk. I said I liked fishing. Now, with my lisp I didn't really consider what he would of sounded like to him. His face dropped, he was speechless and it got awkward very fast. I thought he didn't understand me, so without thinking into it I kept saying "Fishing.. You know fishing.." it wasn't till I made hand actions that he told me he had misheard me. I blankly stared at him and said "fishing.. What else can fishing sound like? Fishing.. Fishing. Oh.." Moral of the story: Don't make small talk if you have a lisp.
TL;DR: | my boss misheard me because I have a lisp. He thought I said I like fisting, when all I was trying to say was fishing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What was the most ridiculous reason that you or someone you know has had an outburst of anger for?
POST: I thought of this during work today. A little backstory first. I carpool to work with a girl named "Shelby". She drives a really nice new Camaro. Shelby and I are pretty good friends. I was having a conversation with another coworker, "Latisha" and she asked about the car and then stated that if it was her car, she would be driving 100mph all of the time. Then she asked if "Shelby" drove fast like that. I said "Not really, she drives kinda slow." Then, "Shelby" walked into the room, and "Latisha" said "Ooooh girl, guywhomeows said you be drivin slow." (Yes, she is very ghetto). All of the sudden, Shelby slams her fist on the table, and says "WHY ARE YOU TELLING PEOPLE I DRIVE SLOW, what the fuck is your problem, guywhomeows?!" I just stood there confused thinking it was a lame joke, and then she kept screaming, teared up, and left me at work to "find my own fucking ride". I had to walk. 5 miles. In a light drizzle.
TL;DR: | Makes comment about the speed in which coworker who takes me to work drives, gets bitched at, and I had to walk my ass home. In rain. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Claimed 1 on my W-4, still losing lots of money
POST: hi reddit,
So i'm a 20 y/o college student working a summer job making $10.50 an hour, 40 hours a week. I get paid bi-weekly, which is annoying enough, but I noticed after my first check that I'm losing roughly $100 from each paycheck due to federal income tax, MA state income tax, Medicare, and social security. Did I do something wrong? the internet and my peers alike led me to believe that claiming a "1" on my w-4 would result in the lowest amount possible being taken out of my checks (resulting in a lower tax return), but this seems to be the complete opposite. My girlfriend, 21, works a different job and put a 0 on her w4. I looked at her pay stub. Federal income tax: $0. MA State income tax: $0.
what gives? did i fuck my shit up here? is there anything i can do to fix this? why don't they teach us this shit in school?
TL;DR: | Claimed 1 thinking it would get me more money in my paycheck up front, but that doesn't seem to be the case |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my friend? [20 M/F] 'saw eachother' less than a month after being friends, then things got fucky.
POST: So here's the deal. Me and this girl, just about my best friend, end up both magically liking each other at the end of last spring/early summer and have a little fling for a bit. This is also just after her pretty drawn out break-up with a guy she was in a relationship with for about 3 years. As I go home for the summer (college love, so nice) we make plans to visit etc etc. She ends things with me, gets back together with old boyfriend.
Go back to school, I don't really want to talk to her, it's just hard. We talk for a bit, awkwardly hang out when our friend groups collide, she comes over to try and talk things out every now and then. She's in an open relationship and is bisexual and confused about what she wants in general and still likes me. I still have feelings for her, but pretty much just nod along and get her to stop talking.
I go home for xmas break, realize that I at least want to be friends with her, tell her via drunken messaging. She wants to be friends as well, lovely. However, I am a bit head over heels for this one, and she also reciprocates feeling but also wants to 'experience being single' and whatnot, not being sure if she can commit to relationshippy thing that I want. She seems interested in something with me but acts tentative about the whole thing. Should I press her more or let her come to a decision in her own time? Her reasoning for not is that she doesn't want to hurt me.
Also, i'm not the best at communicating feelings, and I really don't know how to handle this or what to say to get my feelings for her across.
TL;DR: | girl and i were together for a hot minute, now we're not and some trepidation on her end on what she wants to do. What would you do if you were in my shoes? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by possibly interrupting a Bang Bros filming and maybe coming out in the background of one of their films
POST: Throwaway because I don't want to make it too easy to track me down.
Backstory: I work on the same street as bangbros in Miami, FL. I know this because one day while watching one of those videos I saw the [address] and realized "holy shit, they're my neighbor". They have a pretty bland generic looking office building and honestly you could never tell what it was.
Anyways, I was working and I went outside to get something in my car. I noticed a very very white looking girl riding a bicycle. This is in an extremely industrial area - you'll find mostly darker skin men working here driving big trucks. A white girl in a bicycle is VERY out of place. Then I saw a very sketchy looking van come out of no where. The girl threw the bike in front of the van and they ran it over a few times.
Illegal dumping has been a big issue for us lately (just last week we received a ticket from the county because someone dumped their shit on our property) so I confronted the girl and told her "if you don't pick up the bike, I'm calling the police. I already got your plate" She said something like "its fine, we're just filming something". That's when I noticed the guy with a HUGE camera in the passenger door. They did a few more takes, I stood back thinking wtf, I'm going to end up on youtube later. They opened the van, threw the bike in there, and sped off. When I saw the inside of the van, that's when it hit me, holy shit that's the bangbus!
TL;DR: | i might be a background extra on bangbus. Sorry guys for interrupting your film and threatening to call the cops on you guys. But please make sure I don't come out - I was wearing an orange shirt. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (20F) am in love with and sleeping with my friend's boyfriend (21M)
POST: so already i've painted myself as something of a 'bad person'. anyway, i'm all sorts of turned around in regards to this. my feelings all started about six months ago. i was struck quickly by the fact that i had romantic feelings for him and was summarily disgusted by how i felt, and felt as though i was betraying my friend. cut to january. she goes back to her home town for eighteen months to take a break before she goes back to school, and her boyfriend and i are still in the same city.
i've always felt really comfortable with him and we always just tended to get along with each other. so we started hanging out essentially every day, just kinda spending our time together rather than so much 'hanging out'. then about a month ago he presented the idea of sleeping together. i'd spent this entire time trying to suppress my feelings but i'd been fantasizing about this happening for months so i ended up doing it.
we established in the beginning that this was just for fun and he wasn't going to break up with his girlfriend or anything since they've been together for three years and had more or less 'settled down' in a sense. and after a while of talking and sleeping together he admitted that if things were different then we'd be a couple. and i thought this would make me happy, knowing that he feels that way about me. but again, he won't be leaving his girlfriend. i don't want to end it, because i'm enjoying it too much and i've never felt more comfortable than when i'm laying in his arms. but at the same time i have to accept that this is only going to end in heartbreak for me. i also care a lot about my friend and their relationship a lot which is why i want to keep this so secret.
so what do i do? i don't want to end it, but i'm also sick of having him on my mind all the time when we aren't even dating.
TL;DR: | sleeping with friend's boyfriend, also in love with him, he won't break up with his girlfriend. i don't want them to break up, but i also want to be with him myself. what should i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear AskReddit, I am at risk of losing my state scholarship award because over an obscure rule in the fine print, do you have any advice?
POST: So I'm currently in my fourth semester at community college in Tennessee. I've been receiving the state scholarship since I've been here and have been doing really well. However, this semester an issue came up when I was reapplying for said scholarship. I took a year off between High School and College, but since I graduated from high school a year early, my mother had me taking classes (just 1 for starters) at a different community college as part of an agreement, starting in the fall after I graduated. However, the following spring semester, I stopped attending because I had been working a lot and didn't really see the point of it at the time. Then in the fall semester after that I decided to commit to taking classes full time at my current school and that was a year ago.
Now all of the sudden the financial aid office at my school is telling me that since I took that one class after graduating high school, and then technically "dropped out" the next semester, even though I was neither a full time student, nor receiving financial aid, I am technically ineligible for the state scholarship that I have been receiving for 3 semesters. The way around it is to go to the other school I went to and get a leave of absence, which has to go through an appeals process, and if it is approved then I can get the scholarship. The obvious problem with doing this is that my absence was not due to some serious problem in my life, and therefore I have no documentation that would support such a claim. As far as I know applying an appeal is my only option. I am not sure how strict they are in the appeals process. I want be careful about not getting into any sort of trouble, but I'm probably going to need to do some lying, or at least heavy exaggerating to win the appeal. I'm wondering just how careful I should be about this, and if anyone has been in a similar situation and might know of any other options I have.
TL;DR: | I am getting the state scholarship taken away from me my sophomore year over some fine-print BS, only way to continue getting it is to do some lying. :( |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my close friend [22 F] of 4 years, asked her out, got rejected. We're in the same graduate scheme next year.
POST: Friend [22 F] and I [22 M] are on the same undergraduate masters course and have been good friends since the start. I've never been in a serious relationshio before and I never really looked for romance at university, but in our final year I started to see her differently and developed some feelings for her. However I kept them to myself, but the feelings grew. We also found out that we would be on the same graduate scheme next year.
A few months back I asked her out to lunch alone a few times but I never felt that she saw anything other than platonic friendship. So I finally spelt it out and directly told her I liked her and would she like to go on a date. She put me down gently saying "I value our friendship, but i don't see you that way..." etc...
We've tried to keep the friendship as it once. I tried ignoring what I felt but seeing her still hurts and I think about her quite a lot. Recently I've been trying to avoid her which has been easier due to final exams but I'll definitely see her frequently in the graduate scheme.
Pretty sure I've royally messed up but how should I proceed from now on? Pretend I never asked her out? Or carry on with minimal/no contact?
TL;DR: | I asked a close friend out, got rejected, but I see them constantly. Act normal 'til the feelings go away? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is it that is so intimidating and dehumanising about social groups?
POST: I come from the UK, so there aren't really "cliques". However, we do have something similar, but not to that extent. Sometimes, groups of people with similar interests will hang around with each other. It's alright. However, sometimes these get a little two intense. It's a social group, but it's more like a formal organisation.
I have some male friends that are in one of these social groups and they are all extremely lovely people. However, when in the group, they won't speak to me, they'll only speak to members of the group, if that. I was accepted to be the first female member of the little circle. However, as soon as I was in there, I wasn't myself. I was scared and I wasn't as talkative as I usually was. Scared of making a mistake.
I decided to try and talk to my friends, but the conversation was limited to rather idiotic things, rather than the deep conversations we usually have. They were quiet and still, almost zombie-like. The more dominanting members would take control of conversation. A few people even turned hostile. It was horrible.
I was kicked out after one day. Not that I had too much of a problem with that. I talked to my friends about it. One of them was calm, but said that he was upset that he gets judged so much. My other friend (who I am in love with), he started getting emotional, saying how nobody their appreciates him and he's forced to not be himself. He'd not allowed to talk to me, or else the more dominant ones will try to engage in "friendly banter" and "mild teasing". Last time, this caused tears.
I find the entire things extremely scary, even though it is quite stupid. Why do humans behave like this? Why are some social groups like this?
TL;DR: | After being invited into a social group at school, I noticed that no one was themselves and it was really tense. Why are things like this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 F] with my mom [50 F]. She is cheating on her husband or something.
POST: I feel like I don't even know my own mother anymore. She is currently married and, according to her, in love. She met this man in our home country and she is in the process of bringing him to the United States. I've met him and he's, indeed, a good man (at least it seems to me). Everything seemed fine to me. In her own words, she is deeply in love.
Today I found her basically sexting another man. She sent him pictures of her in lingerie. I snooped, yes. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, what do I do? Do I leave this alone and forget it? I just feel weird towards her now. Like, what a whore right? I don't want to say that of my own mother but if it acts like a duck, quacks like a duck... well you know.
A little history: She is widowed by my father who was basically *her* father because he was controlling and she was basically his bitch (her own fault though, she did not need to stay with him). She's the kind of person who thrives on being a victim I suppose. She basically lives for people to tell her, "oh poor you, you're a saint for putting up with so much". I understand that after being in that kind of toxic relationship, you want to "live your life" but damn. I don't know what to think. Maybe it's none of my business. I'm not sure.
TL;DR: | My mother is married and cheating on her husband. Is this even my business? I feel like I don't even know her anymore. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Had my first date in years last night. Crashed and burned.
POST: Throwaway account. 32m, last relationship lasted 3 years, and it ended 2 years ago. So, I've not dated anyone or even knew anyone to ask out for at least 5 years now.
Fast forward to last night. Met someone (31f) who was pretty cool, and single. Actually, the first girl I've met in 2 years who met both of these requirements. :)
Met up for drinks, and had a pretty good time, I think. We initially had a good time, and we joked/planned future dates and such.
Unfortunately, The problem was that I was so freaking nervous I kept ordering more and more to drink. Thankfully, I'm a pretty benign drunk... I mostly just get really chatty, jabbering away on random topics. It can be amusing to my friends, but on a First Date? No.
It ended okay I think, I mean I didn't even attempt a goodbye hug or kiss, I would never really try that on a first date. Fast forward to today, I send her a quick text this morning early, and it's now been 12 hours and haven't gotten any response back.
I'm convinced that I made a total fool out of myself by getting way too buzzed, and I probably made that old mistake of talking too much and not asking about her enough.
My question is; is there any hope or point in trying to salvage this? Do I apologize to her and ask for a second date? Do I just forget the whole thing as a lesson learned?
TL;DR: | Went out on a date for the first time in 5+ years, got nervous and drank too much, probably acted a fool. Do I try to salvage or move on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Riddle me this, reddit
POST: So about a month ago my girlfriend (22) broke up with me (21M) because she had lost attraction to me apparently. For the first a week or so afterwards we continued to hang out and talk but I put that to an end because I needed to move on. Then we go over a week with no contact before she finally breaks down and texts me saying that she probably shouldn't be but she wanted to talk to me. This was late last week.
Since then we've been talking and hanging out a little bit. She had told me previously that when we were dating she was attracted to other guys but then she says just the other night that she isn't looking at any other guys now. Then last night I end up staying the night with her (didn't intend to but that's how it ended up, leave me alone lol). So we start cuddling and one thing leads to another and before I know it, we're fooling around. We're both teasing each other with kisses (touching lips but not actually kissing, seeing who will break first) and she ends up kissing me. Well I manage to turn her on a lot and end up getting her off. All this time she's been feeling me up but never finishes the job because, according to her, she is exhausted. Granted it was 4:30am by this point and she had to work the next day so that makes sense. She said she wanted to but was too tired.
So wtf is going on here? She supposedly lost attraction to me but I still have absolutely no problem turning her on and getting her off. And she apparently still wants to touch me as well. And I don't think she is "using" me because she wants to hang out too. She was the one that asked me to hang out last night and she just texted me now.
TL;DR: | Ex girlfriend supposedly lost attraction to me but I can still easily turn her on and get her off. Supposedly she still wants to touch me too. What is going on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: Tifu by getting my friend ran over by a tube
POST: So first off this wasn't me but I felt like this story was way to funny to waste.
So once upon a time, about 2 years ago me, friend #1 and friend #2 decided to go tubing (for those in tropical and or have never gone tubing, tubing is basicly getting in a huge tire tube and going speeding down a snow covered hill most of the time at somesort of a skiing resort)
Anyways we were having fun time and just connect our tubes together by join hands, almost like in a triangle, but one run we decided to let go just as we started down the hill.
Me and friend #2 make it down before friend #1 by a fair bit, his tube had a lot more friction causing him to slow basicly to a halt, so friend #2 gets of his tube at the end of the run a throws it into the pile of tubes to be brought back up. Then he noticed that friend #1 wasn't down the hill all the way and decided to pull a mini prank on friend #2, so he planned to put his leg out and stop the tube causing friend #1 to fly off it and land in the snow.
Well it didn't work out like this, friend #2 raised his foot and misses the tube all together and ends up kicking friend #1 in the face in the freezing cold, for whom ever doesn't know hurts a metric shit ton, so friend #1 who is seeing stars and laying on the ground lays there for a few seconds. When all of a sudden a group of around 5 girls come flying down the run at moch 5 and run over him, around like three of the 5 tubes went over him.
In the end he was ok though, besides the bruse on his face and being freezing cold and friend #2 feeling like an asshole.
TL;DR: | friend #2 kicked tube out from under friend #1 but kicked him in the face then he got ran over by three oether tubes. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26F] am struggling with self-confidence after being rejected... a lot.
POST: I've been told I'm a solid 8/10, and I personally agree. I've felt pretty good about my looks, personality, intelligence, career, and sense of humor up until recently. By no means am I a stellar gift to mankind, but from what I know I'm a pretty good catch.
However, I've been rejected a lot starting at 18. Most men I take interest in select other women over me. For a long time I resolved that I just wasn't the right gal for them, even though I was reasonably sad about losing my connection to very interesting and exciting people I usually just went back to focusing on personal projects and work. More recently it's not sufficient to conclude that and I've genuinely concluded that something is WRONG with me and I'm inherently unattractive and undesirable. I took a year long break from dating and I'm beginning to feel convinced that what I really need is a lifetime break.
Worse yet, when I confided my problem in anyone I'm typically told that I sound depressed and should see a therapist. Of course I sound depressed, I have a soul-sucking record of rejection! But the downtrod feelings are a symptom not a cause. When I did finally see a counselor I have to admit that I didn't find the sessions very helpful, because I was still experiencing a great deal of romantic rejection. What on Earth could be wrong with me?
TL;DR: | really tired of being told to address the symptom and not the problem. Starting to feel like there's no hope for me romantically. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my [18 M] of 6 months, cheated multiple times
POST: The first instance was on New Years Eve, where I accidentally found out that he was heavily "flirting" with one of his friends. After confronting him, and having him promise me it wouldn't happen again, I was able to forgive him and try to rebuild the trust we had prior.
On Friday (Jan 31st), I purposely went through his phone. I'm not sure why exactly I felt the urge to, but I found very sexually explicit text messages between him and his ex-girlfriend. Confronted him again, said he was sorry and that he was done doing stuff like this. Then, the next morning, I wake up to him giving a show, so to speak, on cam with his ex-girlfriend. I kept quiet, watched everything, and let him finish. When I confronted him yet again, he came up with some lie and told him to just tell me the truth.
I feel so anxious all the time, and I can't get the image of him doing what he did out of my head. I love this man more than anything, and this is the only problem we've had during the duration of our relationship. I just don't know if giving him another chance shows him that he can just keep doing this, or if this REALLY isn't going to happen again.
TL;DR: | How do I manage to get through this with him, without feeling the constant anxiety of if he's being unfaithful or not? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25] & my Ex [24]. We were together for two years...Long story...
POST: So pretty much we had been together for two years and she tells me that her heart simply isn't in it anymore. At first the break up was really messy with both of us just constantly hurting each other for no reason. We went back and fourth between being on good terms and being at each others throats. I'll admit that a lot of that had to do with me not being able to let go.
I had found out later that for the first 3 or so months of us being apart she had been going back to visit an old ex of hers. When I found that out I backed off. We stopped talking for awhile and that was pretty much it.
Recently, within the last month or so things suddenly started to get better between us. We're able to hang out and talk to each other with absolutely no drama. we play and joke around with each other. I found out that she no longer talks to or visits her other ex. Both of us actually recently met other people, nothing serious, just friends we've been on a date with. She's been pretty open about that with me and even asks me questions about the girl I had met (I know it sounds weird)....
I still do have feelings for her, and if the opportunity did come up I would consider trying our relationship again. I couple nights ago we were talking and i kind of alluded to that. I brought up things that, looking back, i could have done differently, and if I had a second chance I most definitely would. She told me that because of how bad things were hen we first split up, she didn't know if doing that would be a good idea, but neither of us ever really brought up the subject. We just kind of skate around it and hint at it. Her more so saying she doesn't know if it would work or be a good idea.
Should I just let this play out and see what happens? I'm afraid to say anything because of what happened in the past. I really don't want to ruin this good thing we have going right now. she is my ex but she's also one of my closest friends. I feel more comfortable with her than almost anyone else I know.
TL;DR: | broke up, things were bad but lately things seem to be getting better, at least when it comes to our friendship. Should I wait and see or should I just come out right and ask her if she can see us happening again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [16m] girlfriend [16f] has feelings for someone else
POST: EDIT: Thanks for the answers! I have decided to breakup with her.
Im going to make it quick...
So basically weve been together for 2 years and she went to this exchange student camp (Im not native english speaker so sorry if thats not correct but I hope you understand) and she met an italian guy [20].
We didnt really talk to eachother during the week that she was there but during the last 2 days she told me that at first, the italian guy (lets call him Peter) had asked my girlfriend (lets call her Sue) to go out for a walk with him.
She did and they talked and stuff, nothing too crazy yet. Peter did ask if they could hold hands so he could warm up her hands but she denied (thats what i heard).
The next day there was a disco because it was the last day and Peter asked Sue if they could dance the slow one and my girlfriend said she didnt want to be rude so she danced with him. After the dance Peter asked if they could go out for a walk and out there he tried to kiss my gf. My gf denied the kiss (thats what i heard).
She told Peter that she had a boyfriend. Peter asked if he would have chances if she didnt have boyfriend and she said he would have chances...
Long story short, my girlfriend has some sort of stronger feelings for the italian guy but she chooses me over him.
She said that she likes him more than just as a friend but she wouldnt throwaway our 2 year relationship for the italian guy.
I cant cope with my girlfriend having that kind of feelings for someone else. What do I do? Girlfriend coming home tomorrow!
TL;DR: | girlfriend has feelings for italian guy she met at a exchange student camp. not as strong feelings as she has towards me but she still has those feelings and I cant cope with her having feelings for the italian guy. Help! |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: How do you deal with the pain of losing someone who is both your lover and your best friend? I love her but she doesn't love me in the same way.
POST: We (20M/18F) dated for three years. She just broke up with me tonight after a few days of a "break" and the incoming breakup looking obvious. I love her but she says she doesn't love me in the same way and can't see a future together anymore.
I'm devastated. She not only was my girlfriend, but my best friend as well. I want to remain friends, but when we talk now our conversations are flat and empty when they were once full of laughter and energy. It's hard to see a friendship between us that's even close to what it used to be. She had the ability to make me completely drop my inhibitions and have fun with her like no one else I've ever met. I'm normally shy and reserved but with her I always was completely open and always had the time of my life. It's hard to imagine ever finding a friend like her again.
Right now I feel aimless and depressed. I'm not sure where to go with my life now, and what to do next. A big part of my life is now gone, and it's hard to imagine finding someone like her again. I feel destroyed.
TL;DR: | I have two questions. How do you deal with the initial pain and shock of losing someone you love? And how do you deal with the fact that she was your best friend as well? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex (18) lied about cheating on me (17 y/o) because she wanted a clean break because she was going to college.
POST: My ex told me she cheated (by cheated I mean had sex with a guy) on me a week into being in college (I am a junior in high school). I cut off all contact from this girl because I'm so hurt. I find out six months later from a mutual friend that she said she actually didn't cheat on me, but she just wanted a clean break…she didn't think she could get that by telling me to my face. I call bullshit on this. and even if she did not cheat on me, the fact that she just let me sit with that knowledge for six months…its just as bad as actually cheating on me because of the deception that comes into play. She told our mutual friend that she should tell me because she thought I should know the truth.
TL;DR: | Personally, I think this is just a ploy to try and get back in contact with me, but I would just like your opinion on the whole situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30sF] with my friend [30sF] 3 months, looking for advice on how not to offend or hurt relationship.
POST: Ill keep it short and sweet:
I moved to a new area last year and have recently started making friends with some women my age through a social group (this is HARD to do btw).
One of the people in the group is a realtor, and while the entire group of us (about 5 people) have made jokes about how she will help us when we are looking to buy, there have never been any serious conversations about it..
That being said, I am looking to buy and may have found a place to purchase. However, my SO is from this area and we have decided to go with a family friend as the realtor. This is a non negotiable.
I am trying to figure out how to share the news that I may be moving, and that I have gone with a family friend, to this group, particularly the realtor when I see them this week. While we never had any type of agreement, I do not want to offend or hurt anyone's feelings. I dont want to make this a big deal, but as these are relatively new friendships, I am still navigating how to discuss things without causing any problems.
TL;DR: | I have a new friend who performs a service as her job. I need the service but have decided to go with someone else. How do i explain/bring this up, without causing problems? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [22M]Reuniting with ex[20F] a few weeks from now.
POST: A little background:
We've been off for 4-5 years, friends for 2 years after the breakup. Then just 2 years ago, I was in her debut and she fucked me up real bad for being an insensitive woman. I swore that time that I have already given up on her as a friend and as an ex-lover. Plus, she had a boyfriend that time, so it didn't really matter to me anymore. She's now in a far-away place and that made it easy to forget.
Last month was her birthday. A common friend of ours tipped me to try and reconnect with her. I did reconnect with her and things were really bright for both of us. She's single, and our conversations went more frequent although we did not express our feelings to each other yet. However, I will be going to that far-away place where she is, and we have a date set. This will be the first time we'll see each other again right after the ruckus 2 years ago.
It's not hard to mistake this as another chance to get back to her. I never expected things to look this bright. Am I fooling myself? Am I being too hopeful? the other thing is that this may probably another semi-long distance relationship. Friends have been telling me to think this over, but my gut feeling tells me I should really try to get back with her.
TL;DR: | Ex-GF of 2 years with no contact, we're gonna be having a date in a few weeks from now. Still unsure if I should totally risk the heartache or just be friends with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I've (21F) been seeing a guy (29M) for 11 days, my mom wants to meet him and it gets a little weird. Help?
POST: So i am 21. I live with my mom. 11 days ago i met a guy on tinder. I got drunk and messaged him, but i hate talking on the internet, so i asked to meet in person. I go to his place. Drink coffee. Hit it off. No sex or anything physical takes place. I leave to meet up with some friends. When i leave he texts me. Tells me he has a great time. We agree that there was definite chemistry. He tells me he doesn't hook up and says hes looking for something real. I agree. He invites me back over when i'm done with my friends. We end up sleeping together and talking for like 6 hrs. We are really vibing. We hang out every day from then on. I stay there every night. We text when we are apart. He tells me he really likes me on numerous occasions. I come home (to my house) one day and my mom gives me shit. Saying that he's probably just using me and she thinks the whole thing is weird. She said she might feel better if she met him. I tell him. He says he will. So i come over. I had just smoked some weed and i get nervous about the whole situation. Which makes him nervous. He ends up chickening out. I get upset and leave. We talk it out some he said he wasn't mad at me but he needs to think it out some. That was like an hour ago. And im just freaking out because i like him and i don't wanna fuck this up. Does anyone have any advice?
TL;DR: | I ask a guy ive been seeing for 11 says to meet my mom because i live with my mom and she worries. He got weirded out. :( did i fuck up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Help! Bridal party advice!
POST: My fiancé, out of excitement and the goodness of his heart, asked four of his best friends to be his groomsmen within days of us getting engaged and said he would also like to ask his younger brother. The problem is, he was so excited, he forgot to ask for my input. The only person I feel close enough to ask is my sister. It's -really important-to us that our sides are even. It would also feel unnatural to move his friends to my side, but I also don't have the heart to have 3 of them step down and participate in another way.
What's the best option? Do I ask people I'm not very close to to be my bridesmaids? Is it appropriate to ask someone who doesn't know my fiancé very well if I do end up reconnecting with old friends?
TL;DR: | fiancé has too many groomsmen, I don't have enough bridesmaids. We both want it even. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My bike got stolen a year ago, now it's parked right across the street! How do I get it back?
POST: In june 2010 I found an old bicycle in my mums garage. When I asked her about it she told me that the bike had been her ride on several holidays but that she hadnt used it for some years now.
The bike had potential so I took it out and put on new wheels, new lights and gave it a good go-trough with a steel brush and an oil can. It came out almost as good as new.
When I moved out from home shortly after the bike came with me to the new place, as a present from my mum.
A year later the bike was stolen, gone from the stand outside the shopping mall where I had parked it. I presumed the old thing gone forever, a memorable thing from my mums youth and a present from my mum to me. Gone.
Today I see my bike parked on the street from where I live, neatly parked in a stand!
I havn't seen who rides the bike yet but from where the bike is parked he/she lives right across from my house.
Now, how do i get my bike back?
It's not like I have a registration card like the one from a car and two wrongs doesnt make a right so I won't simply steal the bike back.
Any ideas on how to proceed from you, fellow redditors?
TL;DR: | My mum gave me her old bike. It was stolen a year ago and presumed gone. Today I saw it parked across the street from where I live, presumably with a new owner. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Is this the best way to approach the situation with this girl?
POST: So last school year I(15) talked to this girl(15) from my school a lot over Skype and in real life, Most of the time she initiated conversation until I started to be attracted to her then it was kinda 50/50. This lasted about a month and a half, I joined the school late then shit went down and we didn't talk all summer. I tend to be emotionless but I couldn't stop thinking about her all summer, I was ashamed that I let myself fall in love that much.
Early on into the school year we started talking again and still do. It use to be group chats online with other people but then it broke down into more singular one on one. I was fine with this in the beginning but then I realized in the 3 months we've been talking there has been very minimal character development in our conversations, nothing more than 45 minute-1 hour dry conversations compared to the conversations we use to have the previous school year.
In this years situation she's initiated a large percent of the conversation in real life and on skype and likes to fill me in on stuff that's she did that day, I went from feeling like someone this person trusts and connects to, to some diary. Both of us are very similar mentally, emotionally, we have the same opinions and like the same things and as far as I know I'm her closest male friend. As much as I'd love to pursue a relationship with her I can't see it being with someone who has conversations like I described.
I just stopped logging into Skype, she messages me from time to time on Facebook though and starting next semester(I'm on break right now) we'll be in the same PE. I'm just trying to drop her. My feeling for her are more controlled than they were during the summer. Is this is most effective way of handling the situation? I plan on explaining to her the situation if she asks.
TL;DR: | Talked to a girl I liked, had nice conversation, stopped, restarted, dry conversations, stopped, is it the best thing to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16M] with my girlfriend [15F] 9 Months am I just being jealous?
POST: So in the shortest way possible I will try to explain my situation, I have always been a jealous person and that's something I can admit too however my girlfriend also is but she cant admit it, when she has seen that i have been speaking to a girl even though its her friend she will all of a sudden change so i can tell that it has got to her and she has thought something bad even though she knows that the last thing i would ever do is cheat.
However the thing that annoys me is that she constantly talks to other boys, and quite often a few of them and the ones that she speaks too are the ones to try something with her but i have always let it slide as i didn't want to cause anything, however last night i had a lot of family issues so i had already had a shitty day as it was and after a while of talking about it she came out with "So many people always tell me how they wish i was single" which i instantly replied too with "like who?" she then proceeded to list about four of the names of people she speaks too and ended it with "the list goes on"
she instantly said sorry and that she didnt mean to say it in a bad way and that she just wanted to say it in a way that made me feel lucky but it didn't do that at all it just made me feel shitty it made me feel asif all these people she speaks too are just waiting for us to split up so they can get a chance with her but these people arnet the type for relationships there the type to use a girl so it made me feel even worse as i already didnt like them as it was how should i go about this? and the thing that bothers me most is that she doesnt allow me to speak to barely anyone but thinks its acceptable for her to speak to these people that obviously see her in more than a friendly way.
Sorry for the poor grammar, its late and I'm very tired and annoyed I will try and edit the post soon.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend put it in my face about how a few boys she speaks too "wishes she was single" knowing about how I already dont really like these people but she thinks its acceptable but a totally different story when i speak to people |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23M] have been seeing two people simultaneously for the first time in my life. Need help.
POST: I got out of a very shitty, emotionally abusive relationship about a month and a half ago. Some of my friends decided to try and help and set me up with a girl [F/25], we'll call her Zoe. I was pretty excited about the prospect — she was cute, nice, and we seemed to have overlap in interests and humor.
---
Out of nowhere, about two weeks after I started taking Zoe on a few dates, a friend of a friend [F/22] who we will call Lynn started talking to me. She's a straight-shooter, and made it pretty clear that she was interested in me from square one. I've since taken her on a couple dates.
---
So here's the deal. I like both of them but I'm having a hard time figuring out which one would be a better fit for me. I am also beginning to feel really shitty about the whole situation. I feel that, inevitably, it will be like I was leading one of them on the whole time. I don't think I should feel too bad — I've only kissed both of them, only been on a few dates with them, and neither of them have indicated an expectation or desire to be exclusive. Still, I feel shitty.
I guess I'm just looking for some guidance. Should I set a cut off date for choosing one? Also, I've never been in a situation where I have to turn someone down. How does one go about doing that? I don't want anyone's feelings getting hurt.
Honestly I'm just looking for some advice and reassurance that I'm not being a total asshole monster. Anything that isn't "man up and pick a bitch" is welcome. I just want to get out of this having made the right decision and having hurt people as little as possible.
TL;DR: | Out of nowhere I had 2 girls interested in me. Have been taking both on dates. Am I a dick? How do I choose? How do I tell one that I can't keep seeing them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Having a separation problem with my dog.
POST: I live with my boyfriend and a cat and a dog. My dog, Enzo is 11 months. We got him about 5 months ago. He's a great dog...super friendly to other dogs and people, Fairly well behaved (he IS a hyper puppy), and is good with his commands.
I work from home. So I'm always around. He follows me everywhere: upstairs, the bathroom, the kitchen..where I go he goes.
The problem is when I'm not home he's miserable, even when myboyfriend is around. When were both gone, theres no barking or destroying stuff. When my boyfriend is home, and I'm gone, Enzo just sits somewhere and shakes. He has no interest in toys, or treats or walks. This is not Enzo being scared of my bf. When I'm home, him and my bf play and rough house and have a great time! Enzo is usually a very happy dogs, and I want him to be happy without me too.
I never make a big deal about leAving the house, and it don't make a big deal about coming home. When I get home I ignore Enzo for a few minutes until I get all my stuff settled.
I'm at a loss of what to do. Any advice?
TL;DR: | my 11 month old dog gets so depressed when I'm not home and my bf is. I've tried all the usual tips for separation anxiety and nothing is helping. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Only talked for about a minute and got her number. What next?
POST: Background: Last friday, I (23,M) was watching my buddies band playing and spied this girl (21, F) across the bar. I live in a small town and everyone in the bar has 2 degrees of separation or less. I ask my friend next to me if she knows her. They are friends and says she is really nice, etc. I say great I will go and talk to her later and I go back to enjoying the band covering "You can call me Al" Apparently my friend went and talked to her and told her about me and that I wanted to ask her out. She was just trying to help but that kind of kills the moment.
I eventually went and talked to her and introduced myself, established that we went to the same highschool and I got her number and because my friend tried to play matchmaker I went ahead and told her I'd like to go on a date. She and her friends were about to leave when I talked to her and the conversation lasted for maybe 2 minutes.
I am not a fan of texting and havent talked to her since and planned on calling her tonight to set up a date. I am usually not nervous about asking girls out and have gone on a ton of first dates but this situation is unique because we talked for so little. When I was in college I would go to the Zoo or aquarium for a first date when I hadnt talked to the girl much but I am now back in my small hometown where there is nothing like that around and the only real place for a date is dinner but dinner might be to formal since we didnt talk much. I am in Louisiana and summer means 100 degrees and 100% humidity during the day and swarms of mosquitos at night so anything outside is a bad idea
Should I start texting her? Would just calling her now be too much? Dinner a bad idea?
TL;DR: | Got a girls number after talking to her for less than 2 minutes and now I am getting to worked up about calling her for a date. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My father is on long-term disability and they are going to stop paying him in April, is this legal?
POST: In 2004 my father was diagnosed with kidney cancer, and had to have a kidney removed. After going through the process they believed that he was back to normal, and he returned to work. (Just for note he had already worked at this pharmaceutical company in New Jersey for 10 years.) Fast forward to 2006, he went back to his doctor and they found that the cancer has returned and there were signs of it on his lungs, liver and many other body parts. Following this he went through intensive chemotherapy and other treatments. This also resulted in him having serious chronic pain. He couldn't work anymore and was getting paid by MetLife(insurance provided by his work), on top of the long-term social security disability. He is currently taking an experimental drug that was just passed by the FDA, Votrient and it has worked wonders. However since he is making progress to recovery, the other side effects of the medicines, the chronic pains, and other things will never go away. As soon as MetLife found that the nodes were getting smaller they notified him that he will no longer be getting paid, and he will have to find a job. I don't know what to do, I am currently a student and feel like I may have to drop out of school in order to pay for my family. I was under the impression that MetLife has to pay as long as he is sick, until he reaches the retirement age of 65 which he is only 5 years away from. I would appreciate any advice on how I could possibly help the situation. Thank you, for reading.
TL;DR: | Father got cancer, landed on social security disability and MetLife disability, MetLife is cutting us off in April, because he is making positive progress. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] with my ex-gf [35 F] I ended it after two years. I'm afraid I made a huge mistake.
POST: I left my girlfriend after two years of being together, moving to France, and proposing to her. She said yes, but I felt as if there was so much pressure to live a life that I didn't want. I wasn't myself anymore, and I had sacrificed a lot. So I left. Her. I moved back to the US, and now we're going on 2-3 months apart. We talk a little, but I'm always reserved.
I miss her. So badly. My life is empty without her, and I'm afraid I made a huge mistake. Part of me wants to get back with her, but going back into that cage of a foreign land, no career prospects and struggling to break even at the age of 30 seems daunting. Also, I'm not really sure she'd even take me back.
I've begun to rebuild my life here in the US, but it doesn't feel the same anymore. It's.... not the same to do this without her. I know she misses what we had, but I don't know if she'll take me back. Or even if it's the right thing to do. I'm just afraid I didn't try hard enough.
Help? Please.
TL;DR: | Broke up with my gf of two years, am starting to regret it, but wary of trying to move back to her. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What false errands have people you been sent on by employers or managers?
POST: I'll start. When i was about 16, my first job real job, I was working in a pub kitchen. I was basically the kitchen bitch but mainly I washed up. On a quiet night the chef decided to cook some things to be prepared for the next few days. So he sent me out the kitchen to the stores to get all the ingredients he would need. I had got most of them when I was sent to get 'Scotch Mist'. I was told vauge directions as to where i would find it. After several minutes of searching I went back to the kitchen and was told it was really important i find it quickly as he needed it soon. I went back and hunted for a long time before finally admitting defeat. I went back to the kitchen and was told.. 'oh i guess we have run out, Maybe we have some French Mist.' I fell for it again. In total i spent maybe an hour looking for Scotch and French mist in the store room. When i came back and told him he had all the staff waiting just to laugh at me.
I never forgave that son of a bitch.
TL;DR: | Sent on an errand for Scotch mist which wasnt a reall cooking ingredient. All members of staff were summoned to laugh at me. |