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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it wrong to defend myself against a stray dog that may agitate my aggressive dog?
POST: Reddit,
My dog, a German Shepherd, has an aggression problem. We are working to train it out as much as possible but he still has problems with people or animals rushing him. Today while walking, a neighborhood dog that was off leash (my city has a leash law), rushed him playfully. Due to his aggressive nature, my dog began to fight. I had to intervene by eventually kicking the other dog and yelling at it. The owner of course popped around the corner in time to see this. Was it wrong to kick this dog? He wasnt hurt, and I probably actually kept him from being hurt.
TL;DR: | I charlie browned the neighborhood dog (offleash) to get it away from mine (onleash). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [18/M] S/O [18/F] decided we should end things, caught me slightly off guard and I'm extremely lonely (advice needed)
POST: Throwaway.
My SO decided that we should end things on Tuesday.
Let me give you a run down: we were never together, just two friends who liked each other and hooked up sometimes. Two weeks ago we talked about our relationship because she seemed kind of distant (she's often really busy with sports/school/family) and we both reaffirmed that we didn't want a commitment and to stay where we were. She also mentioned that she wants to be independent. Everything seemed fine and we went out to lunch last weekend. Everything still fine. Monday I ask her what she said she meant by "independent" and she told me we should talk on Tuesday.
Tuesday happens and she tells me that she wants to end it because she doesn't feel the same about me as I feel about her. Honestly this caught me kind of off guard and it seemed quite sudden. I talked to her yesterday and she said that she stayed with me because she thought she could make us work, but I guess it didn't.
I don't know what to do, guys. I care about her so much and now I'm absolutely heartbroken. She mentioned we can still be friends but I want to wait until she talks to me again. Apparently my friend passed her in the hallways and she was crying. Help guys
TL;DR: | S/O ended things, I'm heartbroken and lonely. She said she wants to be friends but I don't know where to go now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20F] got back together with ex [24M] and our futures don't align.
POST: We had dated for 5 months prior. We did 3 months or so LD while I was on summer break. The LD was terrible. We tried our best but broke up near the end. Some of the problems were caused by my jealousy, and that he worked a job that made him miserable.
Now we're seeing each other again after half a year. He is happy now. I'm having some issues with my mental health, but I'm dealing pretty well with medication. He is cheering me up a lot, and I'm grateful.
We click. I have tons of fun with him. The problem is that I'm moving to another province (8 hours away) in less than a year. We especially won't do the LD then because it's a permanent move. It really saddens us thinking about it. I want to know how to be happy with the moment, how to enjoy what's in front of me even though I know it will end. Or is it even worth it?
TL;DR: | Got back with ex, but I'm only in town for 5 months or so. We don't want to do LD so how do I enjoy a relationship with an expiry date? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my fiancee [24 F] Revealed my financial situation after getting engaged.
POST: I proposed to my fiancee 1 year and a half ago. Finances never really was a big discussion yet. I'm 15k in debt from a mix of poor decisions and a car I bought 3 years ago, still making payments. A large chunk of this is from the car.
We were discussing about purchasing a home in the future and she mentioned she wanted to get one together soon. At this point I was almost certain we talked a little bit about our situations financially. She's a recent grad student and I have a full time job making a decent 55k. I knew she must have barely anything since she is a recent graduate. I live on my own and have all expenses where as she lives at home still.
Sounds like i'm just trying to justify it but I feel awful. I tell her straight, I have debts i should work down first and the amount. When I said I had debts it was like deer in headlights for her. Then came the tears and called me a liar for not telling her sooner and the disappointments of everything she had thought we could do.
She's in class now so we can't discuss anything further. I have a plan to pay off everything within a year. I feel emasculated, pathetic and I am weary of how she plans to react. I love her dearly and I can't help feel this is going to ruin our relationship.
Maybe I'm just freaking out. It all happened 10mins ago.
TL;DR: | Got engaged. Talked about my financial standings. She's in full disappointment of me like our relationship can go sour because of this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [20m/f] My girlfriend is upset that we cant spend very much time together because she is so busy.
POST: I have been dating my awesome girlfriend for just over a month now. The honey-moon phase has worn off as i expected it to, and now we're starting to begin what i think is going to be an amazing, realistic, long term relationship.
However, last night she texted me, immediately apologizing for not texting me all day while she was at work, and saying that she absolutely hates the fact that we dont get to spend very much time together because she works all day, and when she doesnt work, she has school.
She keeps apologizing in nearly every text, regardless of how many times i assure her that its ok and that i completely understand, because i've previously been just as busy as she currently is. One of her replies to me was "but i DO feel bad and it still bothers me :/ it just doesnt feel like much of a relationship. I dont have the time or the energy to put in the effort that i want to"
I'm unsure if she's trying to slowly hint that she's going to break up with me, or if she was just in a grumpy, bad mood after working 12 hours that day. But i guess my real question is: How do i make her realize that i really am patient and not upset like she is assuming i am, and that i'm completely willing to work through this stuff with her? I've tried just blatantly telling her many times, but it doesnt seem to change her feelings.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend upset that she's too busy to hang out very often. How do i let her know that i understand and still very much want to be in a relationship with her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Random Act of Kindness - Mistake or Good Choice?
POST: So, earlier today I was involved in a car accident. I had the right of way, and the other driver was supposed to stop at a stop sign. Unfortunately the other driver did not stop and I was hit. Nobody was injured (it was a fairly minor collision), but my wheel well was noticeably fucked up and I could barely drive it. The other driver's friend called the police immediately - while we waited an off duty cop stopped by and basically said that, although we didn't have to, if we filed a report - one of the drivers would get a citation. He then told the other driver that it was very likely she would get the citation - as I had the right of way. We then exchanged information (we are both insured) and the other driver, who was very nice, said she would prefer not filing a report (though she said she would file one if I wanted). She also noted that she would admit responsibility. I told her that because her friend had already called the police - that we should wait and see what they thought. When the police officer arrived - he re-iterated what the other officer said, and he gave us the option to figure it out on our own. Against my best judgment - I decided that we should figure it out on our own (preventing the other driver from receiving an additional citation(fine)). I asked her to contact her insurance company and file a claim, and I received a voicemail from her a bit later. In the VM she noted that she has filed a claim and she apologized for the inconvenience. I then left a message with her insurance company - explaining the situation from my point of view (what happened) and asking them to contact me. Did i make a mistake in not filing the police report - even though I saved the other driver from receiving a citation?
TL;DR: | I was in a car accident. It was the other driver's fault. I didn't file a police report to prevent her from receiving a citation. Did I make a mistake? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What do you think of New Jersey?
POST: I've lived in New Jersey my whole life. Up until a few years ago, when the Jersey Shore came out, it wasn't really anything special, famous, or popular. I mean, we have great artists such as Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen, the Misfits, and My Chemical Romance (well, maybe they aren't great but they sure are popular), and cool shit like Taylor Ham, White Castle, and WaWas. But, I feel like people now have the completely wrong idea of the state. It's now famous for a bunch of dumb fucks (the cast of the Jersey Shore) who aren't even from here. These New Yorkers are representing the state of New Jersey and have become personas for the state when they aren't even from Jersey. I don't know if anyone will answer this or care to reply, but I just would like to see what people that aren't from New Jersey think about it. I love my state and I always have, but the Jersey Shore really ruined it. PROTIP: Seaside Heights has always been shitty and is not representative at all of the other beaches of NJ. There are plenty of nice ones. Seaside sucks, and always has, but now that Jersey Shore exists its become the armpit of New Jersey.
TL;DR: | I'm from New Jersey and I think that the Jersey Shore gave my state a bad name. What do you think of it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Need help dealing with fears.
POST: I've always been afraid of the dark and being alone at night, sleeping with a nightlight and once I got to my teens, feeling safe knowing that my parents and family were home. When it came to college I did fine due to the light shining through the window and the fact that it was basically one room. The same goes for when I later married and we were temporarily living in a studio apartment. Though I still had a fear of the dark, I felt a bit comfortable knowing that my husband was by my side.
Now we recently moved into a larger home and this morning he left for work-related business for a week. As soon as nightfall hit, I started to feel uncomfortable and as if I'm being watched. I'm not dealing with my fears as well as I thought I would. I know I shouldn't be this paranoid, but it's hard to find a way to relax. He'll be gone for a whole week, so how should I cope with my phobia or relax while he's away?
TL;DR: | Need help with coping with fear of the dark and being alone at night, or a way to relax and calm down. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: He [25 M] wants me [23 F] to move in with him, but doesn't want to be in an official relationship.
POST: Alright, so there's a guy I've been seeing for a few weeks and we've been hitting it off amazingly. So well, in fact, that when he moves out with his cousin/wife in a month, he wants me to move in with him. He's the type to not want to stay in one place for too long, and said he wants me to come with him whenever the time comes.
Personally, I think it's way too early, but definitely considering it eventually. We act like a couple. He's introduced me to his friends and his parents. But when I asked if we'd date sometime down the line, he said, "It's a definite possibility", "He doesn't know what he wants, since he's been single most of his life", and "I like where we are right now."
I've been in situations where the guy just wanted a fuck buddy and it's not my thing. Yet everything he says otherwise sounds like commitment. Should I give it time? I don't want to ask again to make it feel like I'm pressuring him, but I'm so confused with the mixed signals.
TL;DR: | Sounds like he's considering long time commitment, doesn't want the label of a couple. What should I make of this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: Car or Dorm?
POST: I have been struggling with myself for the past month over whether I should get a car and commute the 20 minutes to campus or get a dorm room and stay on campus. I will be a freshman in this upcoming fall. I am obsessed with JDM cars and am constantly browsing Cars.com, Craigslist, CarFAX, and all the local dealerships websites for cars. Finances are strictly one or the other, not both and freshman can't have a car on campus where I am attending in the fall, so both is certainly not an option. I have several friends attending the same school as me so I don't fear being alienated and not having friends or a social life.
In my junior year of HS, I drove my older sister's Mazda 3 and had such a blast with it. However, she took her car back when she began commuting to another school and I was forced to drive my mother's minivan for my entire senior year. This year I have had to commute a lot as I am in a special program for career exploration in which I drive to various local companies to shadow and such all year. It has been a rough year driving the swaggin' wagon and am squirming for a peppy, little car to call my own (been looking at the Mazda 3 and Mazdaspeed 3).
I hope this wasn't too much to read, but I am really looking for advice because everyone that I know that I ask just shrugs and says do what you want.
TL;DR: | Been dying for a car all senior year, will be freshman next year and am forced to decide between either a car and commuting 20mins each way or living on campus in a dorm. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with my bf [21M] 6mo , has decided we cant have sex anymore.
POST: so met in my city and instantly fell for each other. ive been in 1 other relationships before him that lasted 4 years (glad thats over)
now started dating in may officially, had sex in july for the first time. (sex life was 10/10) everything has been amazing up until start of mid nov when we got on the topic of moving in and he said that he wouldn't move in with me until we were married.. i didn't agree with that. id never marry someone i hadn't lived with imo because i want to know how we would get along living together as well as financials, cleanliness etc
i knew he was christian/ he went to church on Sundays so he had his ways and i had mine. i didn't think this would be an issue since we would go downtown and party like every weekend so to me it was like we shared similar views. Well no, turns out hes been lying to me now about how religious he is. i was starting to fall for him (the guy he was when i met him) but now hes this naive, christian that's telling me i need to come to church with him and wait until marriage to have sex and just wants me to live my life around his beliefs and that hes not giving up on me.
i don't want to live that way. i am happy with the beliefs i carry. i was raised catholic but i don't practice it at all. all of my beliefs are in my heart and i pray to the same god everyone does. i just don't understand how he can ruin our relationship over this. we've has sex for mots and now he wants to stop? we never fought and now its like we argue about this constantly and only this. Were not growing as a couple anymore and its scaring me that im going to have to end it ):
TL;DR: | basically, bf turns out to be crazy christian while i really have no religious views. hes pressuring me to change myself to better fit his lifestyle so no sex, no staying over each others place etc |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [32/M] don't know whether to try to be friends with a girl I use to date [31/F] after feeling twice rejected.
POST: I met a girl in AA last summer. I was in my first year of sobriety and she was in her 4th year. Her pretty face and vicarious personality attracted me to her. It took a month to start dating. I ignored all the things I wasn't attracted to: her selfishness, discontentment, and irritability. We didn't last but maybe 2 months. For her, she was at the bitter end of a relationship where she liked someone who hadn't felt the same way back. I relapsed. We went back to being friends. The chance came up to be her roommate, and I offered myself to move in with her. My motives were just to be around her more. She waited. And waited. Eventually she declined. I felt twice rejected.
Despite my feelings of rejection, we held on to being friends. But everything feels different now. I'm back in the program for 3 months. She is dating someone now. And I'm avoid hanging out with mutual friends if she is around. She is motivated to be friends and I'm not. She asks why I don't hang out with mutual friends when she is around. My motivation for not hanging out, is because it brings up my resentments when I'm around her.
Maybe it's resentment that I feel for being twice rejected. Maybe it's jealousy I feel over the new guy she is dating now. Or anger over her irritability and she isn't the person I want her to be.
My therapist tells me to work though the hard times, that it'll make stronger relationships. If I work through this resentment, will I have a good friendship on the other end? How do I deal with this resentment? I don't know if it's worth it to continue with her or not.
TL;DR: | A girl I use to date, and wasn't too into me wants to be friends now; and I don't know if it's worth it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (17/M) am nervous about my relationship with my boyfriend of 5 months off and on (17/M) going too fast.
POST: Hi,
So I have been involved in an off and on relationship since February (Things stopped for a while due to my SO's homophobic father) that has recently rekindled. We always had plans to meet (He lives about an hour south of me) and we've talked about doing it this summer.
Not to share too much, but it pretty much decided that we would have sex during this meeting. I was all up for it for months but I am not 100% sure anymore. My personality has changed a fair bit in recent months; going from pessimistic and apathetic to slightly more optimistic and definitely not apathetic. When I was feeling apathetic I was happy to have sex with pretty much anyone I had a connection with. I am not sure that I feel this way anymore.
I really don't how to handle this, I don't know how to decide whether I should do it or not. I feel like things are going a bit quick, despite the fact that I was extremely happy at the relationship's progress beforehand.
What do you think I should do? Try and reconcile my uncertainties and just go for it (I really don't see virginity as particularly important and I may not get a chance like this for a long time) or wait?
Thanks for any advice.
TL;DR: | Off and on boyfriend wants to have sex. I was all down with it until recently. Nervous and indecisive about the matter. Any advice on deciding how I should proceed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I (27F) message a guy (??M) I went on a date with then lost a few months back?
POST: So earlier this year, about March, I went on a date with this guy I met on Tinder. He seemed really cool and it was a good date and we texted a bit after and were making plans for another date and then I LOST MY DAMN PHONE. I got a new one a few days later, but I lost about half of my contacts (including his), and I couldn't get Tinder to work on my new phone, so I haven't spoken to him or heard from him since then.
Anywho, I just found his Facebook profile (and his Like page, because he's a performer), and I really want to connect with him again. Even if it's not romantically, I want to let him know what happened so that he won't think I blew him off or something. Would it be weird to send him a friend request or like his page and message him after all this time of no contact?
TL;DR: | – Went on a date with a guy then lost his contact info, just found him on FB months later and want to reconnect. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22M] decided to just move on after my EX [20F] left me last year, she is now back. Help?
POST: Long (complicated) back story short, me and my ex dated for over a year and both had an amazing time together. We really did want to spend our lives together but she fell out of love with me last year. We tried to fix things but her busy life with school, work etc etc didn't help and she broke up with me at the tail end of 2015. We talked and tried to be supportive of each other afterwards (mostly I was torturing myself that whole time cause I wanted a new start with her, she knew this but couldn't guarantee anything) She was even more busy and never had the time to talk so after a while I took the leap of actually trying to move on and I talked to her one last time and wished her well with her life.
That was probably a few weeks ago and today I woke up to a message from her. I'm not sure if I'm over thinking what the message means or even the fact she decided to contact me after It seemed like we would part our own ways forever. It reads as follows, "Hey I don't know if you still want to talk to me but I wanted to check if you're okay because I'm worried. I'm currently off a week or so and I'm studying for a final and I gotta be ready for it"
We did have a special relationship honestly that is why it was so hard for me to give up and try to walk forward with life. I don't want to trick myself into thinking things might get better after this BUT why would she contact me? She made it clear that she didn't ever have the time to talk anymore, sure she did always say she was sorry but still she broke up with me. I'm just so confused and almost a little angry this morning. I hope you guys can see something I'm not.
Thank you.
TL;DR: | Ex gf broke up with me after our perfect relationship was broken by life 2 months ago and after I decided to let her live her life, she texted me this morning and now I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Me [17m] and my girlfriend [17f] have just made up after a gigantic fight and I have no clue what to do from here
POST: So me and my girlfriend got into a huge argument... HUGE... How it started was because it seemed like she didn't care about me after she knew I was upset, but it was all just a huge misunderstanding, so instead of talking to her lightly about it, I flipped out on her and made her feel like shit (keep in mind I didn't know her side of the story yet). So anyway, we argue blah blah and she doesn't know if she wants to go back to a regular relationship after how I made her feel... I felt like scum at this point and hated myself. Anyway, earlier today we almost broke up. I actually thought we did, but when I got back from practice, she told me that she used that time to really think, and that she doesn't want me to go and she wants to give me another chance. So I have no clue where to go from here. How exactly should I talk with her at first? Should I act like this all never happened? Should I not talk about this situation but bring it up in the near future and apologize and whatnot and make sure we're both okay? Should we hangout right away? I really need help at this point...
TL;DR: | I was a dick to my gf, she kind of wanted to end it, changed her mind and now I don't know how to act |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: me (30/F) with husband (35/M), together 4 years total, married 1 - think he's bored with me?
POST: Just not really sure how to describe. I'm on my second marriage, so maybe I'm just getting worried for nothing.
So I guess we share some hobbies (hiking, biking, swimming, enjoy music, going to movies) and I have some I like (computer games, puzzles, board games, other nerdy stuff) and he has some he likes (running, building stuff). The ones we share are ones I enjoy, but don't want to do all the time. He could do them all day, every day. He hates my hobbies.
When we have down time, he really wants to do one of the shared activities. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I just want to veg out, play a game, read a book, whatever. He feels like we don't do enough together, and waste all our free time "doing useless stuff". I've pointed out that when we go to the gym or ride a bike together, we're doing exactly what we'd be doing if we were hanging in the living room, me playing a game and him watching a movie: we're occupying the same approximate space, having fun. He thinks it's different since the activity isn't truly shared.
Basically, I feel like I always have to be doing something that meets whatever this weird standard is. I'm starting to worry that maybe we DON'T share enough hobbies and that we aren't that compatible. We lived together 2.5 years before getting married, so I just don't understand how this can be becoming such an issue. I've tried talking to him about it a lot, but I just can't ever seem to get to the kernel of what's actually going on. He's seeing a counselor soon for anxiety and trouble coping with work stress, but it isn't a marriage counselor. ...should it be? I'm just tired of feeling like I'm failing him somehow.
TL;DR: | Weird reactions about unequal enthusiam about shared hobbies. Leading me to feel like he is unsatisfied with me and our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28/F] have recently been added and unblocked by my ex [30/M] and his family members on various social media sites within the last few months after 8 years of no contact. Should I try contacting him?
POST: My ex and I were in a serious relationship in college (promise rings were involved), but broke-up due to a disagreement regarding "partying." His family worked in conjunction with the FBI. He regarded my partying as unacceptable in the relationship for this reason.
Due to multiple stresses in his life and mine, we broke up. I was extremely close to his family before the break-up. Afterwards, he blocked me on Facebook, and also told his family to do so as well. After 8 years, he has now added me on LinkedIn/ETSY and unblocked me on Facebook. His sister recently added me on Instagram. (Their accounts were well established, and therefore not using email contacts to find potential new friends after just signing up for an account.)
He is/was a terrible grudge holder and am extremely surprised that he's even reached out or allowed his sister to as well. Our mutual friends have told me he isn't in a relationship. Should I try contacting him?
________________
TL;DR: | Serious relationship ended, and all contact cut off. 8 years later, ex and his sister are reaching out via social media friend adds. Neither of us in a relationship currently. Should I try contacting him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Having second thoughts about my marriage...
POST: I've been married for a little over a year now and I'm don't know if I want to keep this marriage going. We sorta rushed into this for a change in both of our lives but I think that hurt us more than it helped.
We're three years apart in age, with the same interests and we get along okay, however, our relationship stage before the marriage was practically non-existant since it was a long-distance thing. We sorta just did the marriage so we could be together slightly easier, but in hindsight, I guess we could've worked out other things that wouldn't have involved sucha serious commitment.
Some things have changed... like less sex, days where we don't really talk to each other... and I think this has introduced a lot more stress into my life because of work and home-life.
And... to make things worse, there is someone that I've been talking to.. an old friend that I've known for almost 12 years now that I've always had a thing for but never really acted on. She and I always joke about getting together, which I wish I did before I started my travelling, but my being somewhat shy and awkward around her didn't really help much. She also doesn't know that I'm married either.
TL;DR: | Married for a year and a half, regret marriage, and there is another woman/childhood friend that I like. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I am (30f) not my boyfriend's (31m) best friend
POST: We've been together for about 2 years but have been friends for around 10. We met when my close friend "annie" did the same degree as him and he became part of our friend group. I'll call my boyfriend "neil".
I've always suspected Neil had a thing for Annie, but he's never acted inappropriate or creepy. It's in the way he looks at her, hangs on every word and the endless inside jokes. They've become extremely close because of the nature of their careers (science based degree that's involved long stays in camps together). I feel invisible when she's around.
He's never as engaged with me as he is with her and sometimes seems indifferent towards me despite telling me he loves me. I get the most attention when he's looking for sex and I've secretly cried when it's over because I just feel used.
We're going on vacation next month and he hasn't planned anything he wants to do and never brings it up. When I say how excited I am he doesn't have much to say.
I feel like I'm waiting for our vacation to be over so I can leave him. And it breaks my heart.
He's adamant about them just being friends, she's been living in another city for several years but visits every 4-6 months so it's been easy to avoid but she's moving home in the fall.
He's a terrible communicator and completely shuts down if I try abd express how I feel about things or talk about anything serious.
I guess I know what I have to do but I just keep thinking about how great things were in the beginning and wish he still looked at me like I was the best thing to happen to him.
TL;DR: | boyfriend is probably in love with his best friend, I wouldn't even mind that much if he showed me the same attention. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [33M] dating a a 26F who makes quite a bit less money. Dating for two months. When does she start paying for things?
POST: I make a decent amount of money (1%) and generally date girls with a good career and education. I grew up living the good life and continue living the good life. So when I go out to dinner, I like going to nice places - [but have no qualms going to less expensive places and given I am new to the city - would love for her to introduce me to some of them]. This young lady is only 26 so while she is bright and has good career prospects, I am not sure she's pulling in a ton of cash. In the two months we've dated, we go out all the time. I generally pay [she's offered once and paid for drinks once]. She's made dinner for us once. Because I'm older and make more, am I expected to pay for everything? I haven't really said anything about it - but is it OK that I feel weird about this now? Have I become the old guy that basically has a super hot younger girl that expects me to support her? Is there a good/not offensive way to bring this up?
TL;DR: | Am I expected to pay for everything if I make significantly more money and am older? Is there a way to address this without sounding like a terrible person? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22f] with my boyfriend [22m] of one year. How do you know if someone is "the one"?
POST: Like I said, my boyfriend and I have been together for about a year. We get along well, have good sex and good times. We talk about our future together, and I'm excited for that future but I feel doubts pretty often. I wonder if I would be happier with someone else, and sometimes wonder if he's the right choice. During these times, I think of his faults a lot more than his strengths. He's not very ambitious, he's kind of a pot head, and sometimes I just feel we don't have much in common. It doesn't help that my parents don't like him. I always wanted to bring someone home that my parents would like, but that's probably impossible anyway since they want me to marry a nice Christian guy (I'm atheist).
When we first started dating I was really excited about it and it was a lot of fun. But as the infatuation has worn off I wonder if it's right. I've never been in a relationship for long so I don't know how I'm supposed to feel at this point. It mostly just feels comfortable and easy. I think if I was truly in love I would continue feeling amazed by him, and he feels that way about me, but for the most part I just feel like the companionship is nice.
TL;DR: | Feelings are becoming less intense, questioning whether my relationship will work long term. Am I falling out of love or do I have an incorrect view of what love really is? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm a College Student with a drug addiction. Does reddit have any advice?
POST: A little background, I'm a 21 year old male who goes to a decent University in a major city. For the past year, I've found myself increasingly turning to drugs of all sorts, both illicit and not, for relief from my crippling anxiety and social phobia issues. I'm pretty smart and I'm in the midst of applying to med school, but things are getting bad.
I'm lying to my parents constantly for money to buy drugs. I'm incredibly delusional, part of me sees how my life is literally coming undone from the days I spend in bed high out of my mind but there is a very deep part of me that can't bring myself to do anything about it. I've told myself for months that I can fix this on my own but everyday things get just a little bit worse. This is the intellectual and rational part of my brain sending out a plea for help. I just need some ideas and support. I honestly feel like I don't have a single friend or family member in the world who really knows who am I or who can offer advice. I literally trust no one. I'm balling my eyes out just writing this because it really puts into perspective how much self-deception is involved in my rampant drug abuse. I tend to think I know better than everyone but when it comes to this issue, I know other redditors have been through situations like this and I am desperate for someone to just offer a sliver of guidance of where I should go from here.
TL;DR: | I can't stop popping pills and putting shit up my nose. I'm desperate for advice and I'm too socially retarded to be able to ask anyone except a faceless, omnipresent collective of anonymous strangers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Cannot handle job anymore and want to quit but forced to work for 20 more days
POST: Hello. I would like an advice on one matter related to work.
Some two months ago, I got employed at Amazon Customer Service (working from home).
The problem is, I cannot handle the working hours and even though the job description said the system is very flexible, it is flexible only for Amazon as any requests to change my schedule were shot down.
So I decided the best thing I can do is to ask to quit the job since it is negatively affecting my health.
However, when I asked to be fired, they said that in the contract it says that I need to give notice before quitting 20 working days before I want to quit. Basically, I have to work for 20 more days even after asking to quit the job.
Now, 20 days ago, the schedule wasn't as bad, so I had no reason to ask for leaving the job yet. I also thought that it wouldn't be so complicated to leave, which is my fault because I should have read the contract properly I guess.
But either way and
TL;DR: | the job really is affecting my health, I really want to quit but apparently I can't no matter how bad it is making me feel for at least 20 more days. I consider this rather inhumane. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: [Discussion] How do you know how when your dog's brain is fried / how do you decide how long and often to train?
POST: I have recently cranked up the training I've been doing with my dog. She's a pain to walk and I want to clean up that behavior, I recently moved to a new place and want to train some specific behaviors for the new place, and I want to get her GCC cert sometime. So, lots of new things for her to learn!
I want to train her without over training, confusing, or exhausting her.
I've noticed that after a training session, especially one involving a new or newish behavior, she tends to flop out and go into a deep sleep. I suspect this is an important part of the learning process and try to leave her alone when this happens. On the flip side, she's a smart dog and if training is too repetitive and easy she gets restive and starts looking for shortcuts and loopholes (like doing the first half of a behavior rather than the whole thing).
Each dog probably has their own optimal training schedule that balances hard enough to be interesting with easy enough to not be overwhelming. I struggle with figuring out this balance for my dog--how do you guys figure it out for yours?
ETA/
TL;DR: | I know everyone just has to learn their dog by trial and error, I'm just looking to share stories and general ideas. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [45M] wife [45F] doesn't take my advice on a subject that I'm an expert in.
POST: I am an advertising creative director working for A-list agencies producing campaigns for Fortune 500 companies (as well as startups and small businesses). You have seen my work on TV, in magazines, on billboards and online—and I apologize for all of it.
My wife, "Jane," and I are opening a retail shop very soon, and I am, of course, responsible for marketing. I always ask for Jane's feedback before moving ahead with anything, however, she's a terrible client. At work, I generally deal with bad clients by doing what they ask, because, hey, they're the client. But this is our business, and we've invested a lot of our savings into it. One of the things that really appealed to me about the new business (which Jane with run day in, day out) is that we would have the opportunity to avoid doing all the stupid stuff clients insist upon.
One of the biggest mistakes clients in my industry make is treating the concepts they're presented like we're students handing in an assignment graded and corrected. I have won all the advertising awards you've heard of (and many of the more meaningful ones you haven't heard of), and yet Jane rewrites and redesigns the marketing executions I produce.
Jane and I treat everything we do as a partnership and have a WONDERFUL relationship, but it boggles my mind that her desire to work together on the shop's marketing results in her contradicting the advice of an expert in the field.
I welcome Jane's feedback ("I'm not sure blue is the right color."), but her demands ("Change the blue to red.") are infuriating. I'm not making the marketing decisions randomly, and even if she doesn't understand the reasoning behind my choices (which I explain), a lot of experience goes into my work. Without saying, "You're a terrible client and you have bad ideas," how do I tell Jane, "You're a terrible client and you have bad ideas."?
TL;DR: | I want to tall my wife, "Fuck it, you do it then," but there's nothing about that which would be the least bit productive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Parents and relatives doesn't want to cosign a student loan. Don't want to drop out. Need some advice to see through this.
POST: Hi /r/personalfinance, I've been a lurker for quite some time. Usually someone asks how to pay their loans, well, I want to ask for help on how to acquire some.
I've been dating this girl for almost a year now and she's having trouble on how to continue school without $$$$.
Background info:
We're both going into our third year of engineering in a medium size state university, we are also on track with expected graduation on May 2017. She lives far so commuting is not an option to lower costs. The cost for our school is around $26,000 and her financial aid (FAFSA) is roughly $16,500. Which $7,500 are federal loans under her name and $2000 is of work study. She has a part-time job and makes around $250 weekly, where she saves very little, since she has a payment plan for her summer classes that will be paid off by the end of the summer <$2000. She lives at home now and has a low cost living but her parents (divorced) don't want to cosign a student loan for the remainder of the school costs.
I'm trying to be supportive and help her emotionally through this. I have looked at some private loans that she can out but she has a credit score of around 630 so they would still require a cosigner.
Any advice would be appreciated :)
TL;DR: | girlfriend parents won't cosign a loan for her. She's looking at around $10000 needed for the school year. Her credit score is 630. Drop out is not an option since she's graduating in 2 years in biomedical engineering. |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: All actions have (petty) consequences
POST: **Background**
My teacher had assigned my class a group project (ugh) and my other friends already had already gotten partners, so me and my friend (we'll call her A) ended up getting partners who were not the best. D and T. D lived an hour away from school so it was hard for her to commute to help work and T usually didn't do much work.
**the revenge**
Me and A ended up doing most of the work. Writing scripts (it was a newscast) and calling everyone to do work. Towards the end of the project T ditched the film session, leaving me A and D without a person to hold the camera (we were in school and everyone was working on their projects). In the end, we ended up getting it done, and when posting it to YouTube, I wrote in the description our names. Except for T, I didn't capitalize it like everyone else's! AND I PUT IT LAST. MWAHAHAHAHA.
TL;DR: | my 'friend' didn't do any work for a group project so I put her name last and uncapitalized. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Are they (21 F) afraid of me (22 M)? What does this behavior mean?
POST: Hi, all, first time redditor here, this is just my second post, and I need some help.
I'll start by describing myself to give you a little bit of insight into my situation.
I'm a 22 year old senior male in college, I stand at about 6 foot 2 inches and weigh roughly 245 pounds, I've been hitting the gym lately to fix that problem. I'm generally very quiet and work focused at school but am outgoing when people engage me or in the classroom.
My situation is this, I've been seeing a lot of strange body language and behavior from women lately. I've noticed that particular women will go out of their way to avoid me. I've never spoken to any of these women--though one of them is acquainted with my older sister and another is heavily involved in my degree program--I see them often, just by being around the school.
Here are a few example situations:
About a week ago, one of these women seemed to follow me into the printing room, saw that I was preoccupied, and proceeded to pass me, turn her back, and stare at a blank bulletin board for what seemed like an eternity.
The second situation, this time with a different girl, seemed to be a clear case of avoidence of initimidation. I was sitting at a computer in the library and turned to look at the noise down the hall. I made eye contact with the young lady and what followed was a hilariously unsubtle change in direction. She literally turned on her heel and went through the printing room to the adjacent hallway. Mind you, the way our library is set up, both hallways lead to the same destination.
A similar situation happened with a third woman just the other day.
It's been bothering me, because it's mostly behavior just coming from these three. Are they afraid of me, or physically intimidated or something?
I make a point to mind my posture and I make a lot of eye contact with people in general. And from what I know of the first girl, she isn't exactly shy.
TL;DR: | Pretty girls that I've never talked to seem to be avoiding me, is this common? The first girl I've been interested in for a while, is this an indicator of disinterest? Or just nervousness? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my fiancé [22M] been together 3 years, just got engaged and are planning on moving across the country. How do I tell my incredibly conservative parents?
POST: Hi everyone,
So my fiancé and I have been dating for 3 years now, and just got engaged 5 days ago. We're both graduating from college this semester, and he has a job lined up 15 hours away from where we currently live that starts in June. We're talking about getting married in November, and we don't want to attempt to plan a wedding and a huge move both during this last semester of college. I also don't want to leave him alone to deal with a cross country move and a new job and planning a wedding for six months either.
I currently live at home with my very conservative parents who believe living together before marriage is wrong, and will be incredibly upset when they find out. I know this is going to be a rough thing to tell them, and will cause a lot of fallout, but this is what will be best for us.
My question is, what is the best way/time to approach this? Questions are already starting about what our plans are going to be, so I'm thinking we need to tell them sooner rather than later. I want to be respectful and attempt to keep communication open between us as I'm going to be living with the for the next five months. Thank you!
TL;DR: | moving with my fiancé across country before marriage, incredibly conservative parents won't approve. How do I tell them respectfully? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Gf [25f] slept around a lot and I [25m] can't get over it. Together 3 months
POST: Gf gave me her laptop to fix and I found a bunch of pics of her with guys, mostly her ex tho. She had a text file that listed a bunch of guys names I'm assuming these are the men she's slept with as I recognized a few of her ex's names on there and mine was the last name. The count was at 47. Some guys didn't even have names just "guy from the bar" or "peters friend".
Its not like I thought she was a virgin but she led me to believe she had been with 3 long term boyfriends all after the other so I'm wondering when she had time to fuck all these guys.
The other thing that bothers me is some of these names match guy friends she regularly hangs out with. This is a big red flag to me.. She could still be attracted to them
I guess it feels more weird than anything. I've never been with a girl who's been with so many men. I've always felt it was more special when two people have fewer partners. How do I know I'm not just guy #47 and what makes her so eager to fuck so many guys? Is she looking for attention?
TL;DR: | gf has been with a lot of guys, I just found that out, feel weird about it, am I right to feel uneasy or am I being insecure? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Im (18f) in love with my cousin (18m), not my bf(33m)
POST: I met my "cousin" (18m) through his dad, (not blood related but still family). We chatted via skype for hours. He lives a thousand miles away thought. So after a couple of weeks we decided to break it up due to distance before it got more serious between us. I started dating this new guy (33m) to kind of get him off my mind.
My "cousin" came to my state for summer to be with hes dad. We made love a couple of times while my bf wasnt there. I broke up with him my "cousin" again after talking to my mom and aunt about all the distance & the fact I cant deal with the distance. I moved in with my bf and my mom to a house now. I dont love him thought, Im learning to I guess, so after 2 months I kind of felt forced to finally sleep with him since we now share the same bed. Yesterday my "cousin" came to say goodbye since he leaves soon. He tried to kiss me but I rejected him. He didnt act the same after that.
He's the guy I love and hes going away. He'll be back once hes done with college (in 4 years..) for sure to live in my state since hes whole family is here. I dont know what to do and Im suffering being with someone Im not in love with while the one I do is going away. He has told me to come live with him several times but I cant leave my mom by herself a thousand miles away.
I tried to keep it short. So questions please ask.
TL;DR: | Im in love with someone withing the family, (not blood related) not my bf, but hes going away for 4 years. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: 40 teaspoons of sugar daily. Help for your weight loss journey.
POST: 40 teaspoon fulls of sugar daily for 2 months was the challenge that Damon Gameau undertook in That Sugar Film.
While initially that may seem like a lot, statistics ([1] [2] [3] [4] show that on average we eat much more than that!
I wanted to bring the film to you attention as it has made me rethink the many "healthy" foods we have in the supermarket, e.g. low fat, heart healthy, natural yogurt is basically no different to a Mars bar.
The film has some fun cinematography, some shocking scenes of terrible teeth (not for the faint hearted) and a playfully educational style that took fairly difficult concepts of fatty liver liver disease, different sugar metabolism pathways and even a little history of sugar and presented them in a **very accessible** and **easy to understand** manner.
You will see the effects of high sugar consumption on the physical and psychological side.
You will also be able to see the effects of sugar withdraw and perhaps relate to Damon's feelings. If you're in the same situation, you're not alone.
**I hope you can use this film as motivation and a reminder on your fat loss journey!**
If you've seen it, what did you think of it? Do you think it might be helpful for weight loss motivation?
TL;DR: | That Sugar Film is a fun way to learn about the effects of sugar on the body and can help you with motivation on your weight loss journey. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my bf[25M] of 6 months, he needs more support?
POST: Hey there, things are going pretty well between the two of us, but something happened recently that we both can't agree.
We live in nyc and both went to a comedy show. I was having a lot of pain with my stomach so I gave him my phone and wallet to place in his bookbag. We left the show early and took a cab home because my stomach was getting worse.
When we got to my apartment, we checked his bag and realized my phone and wallet was not in there. In a high stress situation like this, I become super stoic and I told him calmly if he can go back to the club. He was getting upset, but I told him it was ok, and I gave him directions in order for us to find the missing wallet and phone.
I had to stay back at the apt because my stomach was still in pain, but he was gracious and went out to look for them. I was giving him information over the computer so he can look for the items. We were able to find the cab that the phone and wallet was lost in.
When he came back to my apt, I told him i appreciated his effort. I said that I'm not mad at him, but just be more careful next time. I kissed him goodnight. In the morning, I went out to retrieve the items at the garage.
A week later, he told me that he felt disconnected with me, because I wasn't supportive enough. At first I felt defensive, because in my mind I was. But he explained, he wished I said this, "Hey, this is not your fault. I should have kept the two items with myself. Do you want me to go with you to look for the items?" I explained that if I said this, I would be taking blame, when it ultimately was his responsibility. He says he understands what I am saying, but since he has so much guilt, he needs me to say things like this.
If anyone can give me perspective, I would be happy to change my position!
TL;DR: | Should I have taken equal blame with the lost items? I thought it was his mistake but wasn't a big deal. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (17 M) want to ask her (17 F) to prom.
POST: So a bit of story I guess. This girl I've been crushing on for a few months, but it's only been in the last week or so that we've begun chatting alot. It's always over facebook but when we talk it ends up spanning close to 4-5 hours talking. On top of that we constantly flirt (at least I think so, a lot of poking each other, and eye contact with smiling)
So I'm just really nervous about it, so I'm just looking for a little confidence, maybe some advice on how to do it. (She's almost always with her group of female friends and I'd rather ask her in person)
TL;DR: | Nervous and need some confidence on asking out crush to prom, even though I'm pretty sure we've been lightly flirting. Thanks in advance for any advice/confidence boosts. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Anyone else notice this plot hole in Fairly Odd Parents?
POST: Okay so in that one episode where Timmy wishes for heat vision and melts his dad's trophy for getting first place in a race, his dad goes crazy and punishes him. So Timmy wishes to go back in time and prevent his dad from winning the race in the first place so he won't be so mad at him.
After preventing his dad from winning the race, he goes Back to the Future and sees it's in complete chaos with his dad as dictator over everything after going crazy from losing the race. So he goes back in time again, but since he's already prevented his dad from racing, he enters the race himself, disguised as his dad.
Upon starting the race, he realizes he's the slowest kid in his class and has no hope of winning. He becomes so mad that he melts another runner's shoes with the heat vision he'd forgotten about. Remembering it, he melts everyone else's shoes and wins the race.
Except in every other episode, the fairy godparents would always get out their huge rule book and say that wishes granted will stop being active during competitions. Why is it okay here?
TL;DR: | Timmy goes back in time and impersonates his dad in a race and wins it by melting everyone else's shoes with heat vision he shouldn't be able to use in a competition according to Da Rulez. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: My boy won his agility class last night!
POST: Hi Doggit, I just have to brag a little on my 9 month old Aussie Benny who had the fastest time at agility class last night. This is his second set of classes we've done, and after 2.5 months, he's gotten to be pretty awesome :)
I don't think you'll ever be seeing us at any agility trials on TV, but this is an awesome way to spend time with your dog. We both love it, and I was so proud of him last night. I don't think he could have done any better without additional practice.
[Here] is a picture of him from our first class. I don't have any pictures from the most recent class yet (which was held indoors) but I should be getting them soon.
TL;DR: | if you have an active dog or one who would enjoy running around to get food, find somewhere that offers agility classes in your area and go for it. It makes for [super happy] dogs! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend is unbelievably busy....
POST: My girlfriend and I (both 18, together for 6 months) are leaving for school in just over 2 weeks. She is always incredibly busy and this has not been a recent issue. I have mentioned to her that I feel we should spend more time together and she always says "I'll be sure to make time" but never does. I think the issue is that she has not been in a relationship for a long time (this being her first mature one) and underestimates the time and effort it takes to maintain one. I really do love her and she loves me but If this continues should I break up with her?
TL;DR: | She's very busy. We leave for college soon. This issue has been for a long time and she never makes time, should I break up with her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22/F) am looking for advice in dealing with subtle abuse by my parents (48/M&F)
POST: Longtime lurker, will try not to ramble on too long.
My siblings (13/F & 19/M) and I (22/F) have always had an incredibly volatile relationship with my parents, and I have always thought of it as "subtle abuse". I say subtle because in the traditional sense, we are well taken care of, not hit, not neglected, and it is not outright malicious, but we are frequently subject to extreme discipline, controlling behavior, stalking, humiliation etc.
I could name many, many specific instances, but it would be a wall of text, so I will just talk about what happened this morning.
My sister is doing poorly in school (8th grade). She has consistently been doing poorly in school, and has been in the cycle of taking away her phone, laptop etc. Nothing wrong with that, however my parents go above and beyond every time, stooping down to her level, screaming in her face, imitating her etc. But today I think it went overboard, as they went onto her Instagram and change her whole profile saying she was a failure failing all of her classes and uploading a photo that said she was grounded for failing so don't try to contact her. Stuff like that. I think that is completely inappropriate as a parent and just plain mean and humiliating. Her grades are no ones business but hers and my parents, and making it public is mean. My sister has been crying in her room and my parents are sitting in the kitchen laughing about it.
Now, I do still live with my parents (live in one of the most expensive areas of the country) but am soon moving out with my boyfriend. I am almost scared to leave my siblings, especially my sister because I really feel she is made a target all of the time. This issue has been brought up an ignored many times. If I dare to say anything or stick up for them, I'm just screamed at. Anyone who has dealt with situations like this please help or give some advice to alleviate the constant negativity in my house.
TL;DR: | My parents are controlling and remain so by using scare tactics and humiliation as tools. Just looking for advice to deal with a situation that's been constant since I was born |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Need help assessing my situation
POST: I just started working at the beginning of August through a recruitment agency in a temp-to-perm role. Just last week, I got called over by my supervisor so that I can talk to her privately on Thursday (we had Friday and Monday off). At first I thought I was going to get fired but it wasn't anywhere near that. My supervisor told me that the agency is billing them far more than what the permanent job is worth if I worked for the company. (In lame man's terms with easy numbers, the agency pays me $5 per year, the company would pay me $8 for the full time position, the agency is billing them for $13). The company budget team is now refusing to pay what the agency is billing and since the agency doesn't get paid, i cant get paid; Initially I'm out of the job. I talked to both the supervisor and assistant director and they both love me and really want time to stay. They told me they tried to hire me permanently, but have to pay a hefty premium to the agency if they do it. My agent said that the agency HR team is working with the company HR team to work something out. He said he doesn't have a time frame, but said "a couple of days hopefully". What should I do? Should I wait till the end of the week to start applying to jobs, do I still have this job or am I officially out? Any opinions would help
TL;DR: | Agency is over billing the company by a large amount of what the perm job pays. Company is refusing the pay. Managers love me. What are my options? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My house is infested with fleas, and my family can't afford to exterminate them. My family, me and my animals are covered with bites, and we're miserable. What can I possibly do?
POST: I'm a sixteen year old kid living with a family that essentially lives paycheck to paycheck. All together, we're six people, and we own five pets (1 dog, 4 cats). A little while back, our dog picked up fleas. At the exact same time, our air conditioning went out in 98 degree heat. Our land lord took her sweet time fixing it, so it took around two and a half weeks to fix. My parents used the heat as an excuse to not take action (which they hardly could, because we could barely afford frontline(etc) to kill the fleas on the dog), so the fleas eventually spread to the cats, and then to the entire house.
Now it is impossible to even take a single step in my house without multiple parasites jumping onto me. I have to take multiple showers/baths everyday to avoid them, and use bug spray at every chance (which hardly works anyway). We won't be able to afford to exterminate them for a long time. What can my family possibly do at this point?
(
TL;DR: | My house is infested with fleas and we can't afford to exterminate them. My whole family is miserable and I don't know what I can do. What can I do to solve this problem without spending too much money.) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [F18] don't know how to make my dad feel loved.
POST: Ok, so background: my parents got divorced about two years ago, my dad now lives with his father, taking care of him, but also because he can't afford his own place as he only has a part-time job.
I am in my first year of college in my hometown and my dad picks me up from my campus two days every week after he picks up my sister from the local high school. We generally ride home in silence, sometimes there's small talk. He also sometimes asks to come in and hang out after and if we say yes we'll just sit around and watch tv.
My dad asks my sister and I to go to dinner, lunch, movies, whatever, all the time. He also just bought my sister a video game that she didn't want (he was joking around with her about buying it so they could play together, she said no, then he actually bought it).
It's not that I don't love my dad, it's just that we have absolutely nothing in common and I never know what to talk about with him. He is currently in a committed relationship so I know he's not completely alone which makes me feel better, but I know he wants more of a relationship with his daughters that I don't know how to give him. I feel like I'm using him on the rare occasions that we do hang out (he buys us lunch, takes us to movies, we recently went to a football that cost $10/person and he payed for both of us).
TL;DR: | My dad wants more of a relationship with my sister and I but I don't know how to do that because we have nothing in common. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Picture request! I'm making a sort of unique dog calendar for a holiday gift. Any picture contribution would be awesome! [x-post from /r/dogpictures]
POST: Ok, here's the low down. My girlfriend and I both really love dogs and have both in the past 1.5 years lost our childhood dogs. Both of our dogs had happy, full lives, but it still sucks, and I thought we could still use a pick-me-up, especially since we won't be able to own another dog for another year at least because of living/work situations. SO! My girlfriend has always thought it was super cute and funny to see that look of shame, "why are you watching me do this, man?" when dogs do their duty (haha, doody). SOOOO! I want to make her a Dogs Pooping 2012 Calendar for a holiday gift!!!
Any pictures that you could put in the comments here would be awesome (more resolution is always a plus)!! We both had big lugs of dogs (her a yellow lab, me a big hound mix from the shelter), and any size dog will do, but the bigger the better! Aaaaaaand hopefully you'll get to see other redditors' dogs pooping in here too! Bonus!
TL;DR: | I'm making a calendar for my girlfriend of dogs pooping! Donate a picture of you own dog's shame in the comments! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [27 M] having difficulty with my gf [24 F] of 2 years after we bought a dog together
POST: Hi, just thought I'd post here to get some impartial advice since my gf doesn't use Reddit.
I'm in a very L relationship with my gf of 2 years, we moved in together 6 months ago and dreamed of getting a dog to complete our little family. I'm very close with a lovely Asian woman who cares for racing Greyhounds after they have retired and after a few visits we fell in love with a dim little character that we named Carlos.
Everything was fine initially, he was quite timid and shy but gradually as he got more comfortable in his environment he became VERY lazy. Now he sleeps basically all day and night and my gf _insists_ that he sleep in our bed, all he seems to do is kip. Here in lies the problem. I'm very fond of Carlos, we get on great together but I really dislike him sleeping in our bed day and night.
I struggle to get a decent nights sleep with 3 of us sharing a bed so on occasion I have moved him to the kitchen/living area during the night and this really annoys my gf to the point where we will spend the next couple of days arguing. It has also started to affect my performance at work and as the sole bread-winner (I pay for literally everything) I'm worried about potentially losing my job. About a month ago she started taking Carlos to an animal psychiatrist (she believes therapy is the answer to everything) and the added expense isn't helping matters.
To top it all off, our sex life has completely deteriorated. Any time I try to initiate sex in the passed few months she says 'absolutely not' and turns away. I've tried talking to her one-on-one but her attitude towards me has completely changed and she is often SO CHEEKY towards me that I struggle to persist trying.
Please Reddit, if you can offer any advice, I'd greatly appreciate it.
TL;DR: | GF and I got a dog together shortly after moving in, she insists that he sleeps in our bed and it's causing me and our relationship/finances/sex life problems |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (22M) need an unbiased opinion on an argument I had with my girlfriend (22F), am I just being jealous?
POST: Relationship has been fine for the last three or so years,
Going to mention here that I have some jealousy issues that I'm still working on (but getting better)
over the last few months/one year?(not sure) she's been befriending a guy that lives a few houses down her street, another 22M guy, hanging out with him/having drinks etc (thought I'd add in here that she says he has a girlfriend), I've never met the guy however and any jealous feelings I've had I've tried to disregard as being silly.
He moved a few suburbs away with a roommate and now she's saying shes thinking of going over/maybe sleeping over if she wants to at his house because he invited her to come visit/crash if she needs to, I reacted negatively to this and it got into a huge argument about how I didn't trust her and how she just wants to make some friends, I eventually backed down and apologized but it's still gnawing at me a little, am I just being silly? (I'm hoping I am to be honest).
Additional information to be fair, I occasionally(once every 2-4 months) crash at my best friends house with my other best friend one of which is a girl. I have however known them both for approximately 7-10 years each. She says it's the same as this.
TL;DR: | girlfriend thinking of crashing at a new male friends house, I am a boyfriend who wants to know if its a jealousy problem |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (M 17)am having problems with my mom(F 40's) and it is making things worse with everyone around me
POST: It all started yesterday. I went to the doctor's office and I asked him if he recommends any sleepaid meds to help me. He offered some method that I should try before and if not then the sleepaids are a go. We leave and my mom explodes with anger. She says stuff like "estas bien pendejo, mal de la cabeza" (you're a dumbass, you're sick in the head) because I shouldn't be asking those questions. Then she used that as an excuse to go at me more and said I am going to fail in college and life. She then said no one is going to like me. I'm going to die single because I am shit. Just went on with stuff like that. I'm sick of all this. There's more shit she does but I don't want to go into detail. I leave in August for college but it's such a long way from now. I just want to know what to do. She's insane.
Note: she's really religious and I'm an atheist. Adds to the hate.
TL;DR: | having major problems with my mom who doesn't listen for shit if I try just talking. She gets angry very easily and yells a lot. Makes me feel less than shit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22M] Really suck at french kissing my GF [22F] apparently. Help?
POST: So I've never really been in a relationship, and my GF has been in quite a few actual serious ones. Well she likes to French Kiss, but she doesn't seem too keen on teaching me. She's told me before I've put too much tongue in. Well then I barely put any and she said it was like I was flicking her tongue and she didnt like it. She says not to go side to side.
Last night I tried to go on top or under her tongue, but kept hitting her teeth by accident which she really doesn't like. She has been under a lot of stress/sleep deprived (finals week) and slapped my back (not that it hurt or anything but the fact that she hit me spoke volumes to me). Then I was clearly uninterested in even kissing her or anything past that until she did all the work and made it up to me. (After she blew me and we had sex I told her, I will overlook it once cause she's so stressed about finals and sleep deprived, but she will NEVER do that again).
But the whole thing that started that was french kissing. She says besides that I don't kiss bad otherwise. But now I almost don't even want to try to learn how to kiss cause all it does is cause frustration and kill the mood. I tried practicing on my hand, videos, hell even in the mirror making sure I'm not sticking my tongue out too far. But at this point I'm about ready to give up on it so we don't have a repeat of last night
TL;DR: | Suck at french kissing, even though I've tried to practice, and it always causes frustration and kills the mood. Any advice/help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] Met a guy (18/m) a few days ago, not sure what's going on in our relationship.
POST: We met on Grindr, not the most romantic of places, he's incredibly good looking and studying at a med school very very close to my school. We chatted for a couple of days then agreed to meet up (not a date, just a casual outing, according to him) and had a great time. We got dinner, walked around for a bit, and ended up in my dorm, just chatting for awhile.
Eventually the conversation got sexual and we ended up messing around (kissing, oral, farthest I've gone) but after he came he seemed sort of upset because he wanted to stop hooking up and I told him it was fine and we don't have to do it again. It's a long story after that but we've been talking a lot and he said he still enjoyed it but wishes it didn't come so early.
Texting last night he said that he doesn't think he deserves a relationship and I spend awhile trying to comfort him, etc. to no avail. He said he's okay with hanging out but doesn't want exclusivity and was reluctant talking about sex on the horizon. Conversation was intense for awhile but we ended up just dropping it and going back to casual small talk. We've been chatting today and it was fine but then we had [this] weird little exchange. I don't know why he was being such a jerk because he's been so nice so far and was nice in person.
Any explanation for this? Any idea what I should do here? I have a problem not cutting it off with assholes for fear of never finding a guy again and I don't know if this is what's happening here. Thanks!
TL;DR: | Guy I met is sometimes an asshole and won't be open about what he wants but I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (22 m) As a lonely guy, how should I figure out if I really like someone instead of just enjoying their companionship?
POST: This situation has happened to me before. I was quite lonely as a college freshman and got back together with my high school flame (at the time a HS junior).
However this relationship was predicated on my loneliness and when I didn't feel lonely I didn't care about her much at all. After a short second honeymoon we broke up again.
Now, after not dating for years and only having one drunken makeout in the meantime, I'm hooking up with a girl I met on tinder (F, 20, three dates over twelve days). I lost my v-card to her last week and we have pleasant conversation/physics. This leads me to think I like her, but there are some problems present.
Other than having relatively similar musical tastes and senses of humor, we don't really have much in common.
She's an art student while I'm engineering.
She's indoorsy while I'm outdoorsy.
She doesn't like physical activity while I'm rabid.
I'm worried that after the honeymoon inevitably dries up we won't have anything to bond over and I won't really like her because I only connected with her out of loneliness. We aren't declared exclusive yet, but things seem to be headed in that direction with multiple long dates planned for the future.
Are my concerns well founded? After we learn all about each other I don't know if we'll have much to talk about or do together. To maintain the relationship will we have to find/create substantial common interests?
I don't get a lot of girls so it's hard to accept that I just need to "find another fish."
TL;DR: | Lonely guy not sure if he really likes girl he's hooking up with or just relieving loneliness. Not many common intrests. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [29F] need to break it off with coworker [26M], but how?
POST: Sorry I'm not so eloquent and sorry about the throwaway. I'm certain this person I'm talking about reads reddit.
I think I messed up. I met this guy at work a few months ago and we hit it off. I thought it would be okay if we dated, but it's really, really not working out. I don't know how to communicate how it's not working out to him without being a bitch about it, so I want to end it. Unfortunately, I have to continue working with him. It's already really weird. How do I break this off without leaving the company?
TL;DR: | Coworker relationship not working out, want to bail, but need to continue working with this person. It's already awkward. How do I get out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can I get back at my upstairs neighbor?
POST: So recently we moved into an apartment. Our apartment is on the second floor, but there is a small fenced in terrace type area outside of our window. The problem is the ground of it is right next to the bottom of our window. Our neighbor above us (or someone in their apartment) likes to randomly piss out of their window. Now I've never had a problem with people doing things like this when they're drunk in some setting like a house where someone else is in the bathroom; but because there is an obvious "ground level" with windows all around it plus it's warm out and people have their windows open, it's a bit annoying. What should we do?
TL;DR: | dumb neighbor keeps pissing out of window and it's splashing into our apartment (it's too hot to close the window) what should we do to fuck with him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: 21 [F] Am I mad to meet up with him?
POST: I've been in a two year relationship with this man. (22 M)
We've had a really bad time lately, 6/7 weeks of none stop fighting, breaking up and getting back together constantly.
I've recently had my eyes opened and realise I've been in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship. I always knew, I just didn't want to admit it because I was in love with him. Family and friends had noticed it, including his.
I have got to the point now where enough is enough, I know I deserve better. Even though I still love him and it hurts, I think it's best if I walk away.
However today he sent a message asking to meet me for an hour to talk. I told him no, I don't want to because I'll just end up being insulted and verbally abused all over again. He said thats not why he wants to talk, he has stuff he wants to stay. He said he's 110% willing to make the relationship work and that he loves me more than anything and he'll keep trying.
I agreed to meet him for one hour tomorrow but I don't think I believe him. I can't trust him anymore.
Do people like this change? Do you think he's willing to treat me better?
I felt really confident earlier on in walking away and making a new life for myself, but now I just feel really down again. I love him, should I give him a chance?
TL;DR: | broke up with abusive boyfriend, he got in contact saying he wants to meet up and make things right, should I trust him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I caught my girlfriend [18] cheating on me [23], need some advice.
POST: Background: Started off as fuck buddies, and did that dance for about 8 months, things got serious around November, and started dating in December. Jan 7 she went out and went to play beer pong at a friends, which I was invited to but didn't go. Next day I checked her phone and read some texts about between her and a guy who went, that were pretty revealing that they hooked up but didn't have sex. She said they just kissed, and I believe that. She lied at first though even after I read the messages, and now is asking for forgiveness. I gave it to her, but now have serious trust-issues. The next week we went out to a lounge. She was talking to this butch-lesbian and they went outside for a bit. When I came out the lesbian was on her and she pushed her off. They then went to the bathroom for about 5 minutes. We then left and I confronted her about that, and she told me they kissed as well. I was never opposed to her hooking up with girls, as I know she is straight, but it was the whole sneaking thing that bothered me. What are your thoughts on this?
TL;DR: | Startred off as fuck-buddies, started dating for 2 weeks, cheated on me, then next week pulled some sneaky business with a lesbian. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [35 M] with takeout counter girl [??/F] - how to find out her age without being creepy?
POST: There's a girl that I interact with about three times a week at a local "health food" restaurant that I grab lunch from. Over the past few months, we've built up a great rapport to the point where I want to ask her out. I know that this is usually a no-no, but the level of flirting and "signs" that she kicks me every time I see her is unambiguous, including running up and hugging me occasionally when I come in, calling me by affectionate nicknames ("boo," "cutie," etc.), and making/sustaining inside jokes between us. All signs are good and all systems are go.
But here's the problem - I don't actually know how old she is, and she looks young. For a bit more context, I've always been way more drawn to petite/waifish/young-looking women. Think Audrey Hepburn, Audrey Tautou, Carey Mulligan, and so on. Additionally, I look really young for my age - I'm frequently mistaken for a college student by people who don't know me. Counter girl looks young enough that she could even be a high schooler - yikes. That said, the last woman I seriously dated was in her thirties and looked even younger than this girl.
I'd like to figure out how old counter girl is before going further - I'm worried that she might be way younger than I'm expecting, and I'm worried that I might be way older than she thinks. I've tried to head this off by working in jokes about "My mortgage..." or talking about remembering the song playing overhead "from high school," but this hasn't done the trick to either get her to let on with some "tells" of her own. How can I, without being weird or creepy or just coming right out and asking, figure out if we're remotely in the same/appropriate range?
TL;DR: | Want to ask out counter girl at restaurant but worried that she might be way too young. How can I figure this out without being creepy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I(18F) let my friend(21M) know I don't want him in my car without offending him?
POST: My primary friend group consists of four people, including myself and my boyfriend. Out of the four of us, only one person who I will refer to as Donnie, has his license as well as a car. Since he is the only one who drives in our friend group, he is always picking is up and taking us places. I'm currently working on buying myself a car, and my friends assume that i'll start driving us around more since Donnie has for so long. However, I have one problem with this.
My other friend, Tyler, has very poor hygiene. My friend Donnie, my boyfriend and I have tried to get him to take care of himself better but he never does. He's a great guy, and I don't want to give up my best friend but frankly, he's disgusting. He rarely showers,and he never brushes his teeth. He wears the same clothes for days at a time and i'm not sure if he even uses deodorant. I'm use to it and it doesn't really bother me when we hang out, but because of this, I don't want him in my car at all. He leaves a noticeable stench wherever he goes and I don't want my new car to smell like a putrified gym sock.
How do I tell him nicely that I don't want him riding in my car when he refuses to take care of his personal hygiene? Just one shower won't fix his stench, and I know there's no way he's going to completely clean himself up for good. I enjoy spending time with him, but I refuse to let him ruin my car with his bodily odor.
TL;DR: | I don't want my friend to ride in my new car because he has very poor hygiene. How do I break the news without breaking up the friendship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[F19] am feeling more like his[M26] fuck buddy than his girlfriend :/
POST: I (f19) have been with my bf(M26) for about 5 months. We have had our ups and downs but we have worked things out in our own way.
Lately I have been feeling more and more like a part-time girlfriend.
We both go to the same college and we both live on campus, so distance isn't the issue. I completely understand that we are both here to learn, so school comes first and that space is a good thing in a relationship, but this is starting to feel less like a relationship and more like friends with benefits.
I never hear from him until after 9 and not just on the days we have class, the same goes for the weekend too. I know his schedule and on his longest day he only has class 2-6 and I don't have class until 4 Monday thru Thursday, so it's not like the problem is not having the time during the day.
I will text him first and I won't get a response 90% of the time. Then when he calls later, around 9pm, he just says that he was sleeping or that he didn't hear his phone go off. Also he never calls when he says he will call and when I call him out on it, again his excuse is that he fell asleep
We have never been on a date..ever. That has never really bothered me because I don't really like going out, but even when I try to get him to go down to the dinning hall to grab lunch before class or dinner after class he always has an excuse not to go.
I do spend the night with him on the weekends. We normally meet up at 9pm and I end up leaving at 10am the next morning so that I can go to work.
I guess I just feel more like his fuck buddy than his girlfriend and it's really starting to get to me. Any advice on to handle this?? Am I just overreacting and overanalyzing things??
TL;DR: | I never see my bf until after 9pm and we both live on the same campus, feeling more like a fuck buddy than his girlfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Clairissa (Me, MTF age 19) looking to date a girl (19-20, f) who potentially would want sex... Gender Identity vs Sex crisis
POST: so, I have been really into this girl that a met a few weeks ago but I have been having issues on whether I should or should not date/try to be more to her. you see, I have a few issues in regards to this
I am a trans woman, aka I do have a dick but Identify, dress and act very feminine... this has lead to some issues around me having sex. I dont like sexual contact at the moment (yes it can be wonderfully stimulating and I love the feeling, but my body's physical reaction disgusts me to the point that I can't enjoy it), but she seems very into having sex and that sort of stuff. I have been mulling over trying to have sex, but at this point I would still be forcing myself to do so, which would not end great.
TL;DR: | due to my Gender Identity and my natural body, I do not want sex, but a potential partner will most likely want sex. how do I work around this... anything and everything is appreciated... |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: My best friend's dad is abusive, how can I help him?
POST: I need help giving him good advice! My best friend's dad is verbally, emotionally, and (when he drinks) physically abusive. My friend is nearly 18 and wants to get out from the horrible situation, but he's afraid to leave his mom and little brother (about 5 years old) alone to take the brunt of his dad. Normally, he protects his mom and little brother, so without him there, some truly terrible things could happen to them. However, if he stays, who knows what could happen to him. He's asked me for advice, but I'm not sure how to help. I know he needs to get out, but I also know he would never forgive himself for leaving his little brother and mom in such a situation. What should I tell him to do?
TL;DR: | Friend's dad is abusive, but he can't leave because he needs to protect his little brother and mom from said abuse, what should I advise him to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Need some analysis on a date I [33/M] had the other night with a [28/F]
POST: Hi Reddit,
Not heart broken or anything, but I would appreciate some 3rd party analysis regarding a date I had on Sunday night...I really can't figure out what happened.
Started chatting up a 28/F online this past weekend. We texted most of the day Saturday. Made plans to meet up for a drink on Sunday night. She warns me that she is VERY shy and very nervous, so she doesn't talk a lot. That's fine. I'm gabby.
We meet up on date. Things seem to be going well. She's smiling and laughing. Following the date, she wants to go back to my place to watch the Walking Dead.
We watch the show..one thing leads to another, we start kissing, talking, etc. Next thing you know, we're in the bedroom. We finish in there, she tells me how much fun she had, and wants to make plans to see each other on Wednesday night.
Monday rolls around. No message from her at all. No biggie. I'm not clingy. Tuesday comes around; I confirm Wednesday's plan. She gives me short, one word answers. I write back: Low interest level. I then receive this reply stating that "I'm the kind of guy that every girl wants, but I'm just not ready for this. I thought I was, but I wasn't." My reply back was: I'm not looking for anything serious. Her response back was "Look, I really can't come. I have severe anxiety".
Any speculation here? Aside from the fact that people are weird?
TL;DR: | Went on what I had thought was a good date, had sex, made plans to go out again, get wigged out on the day after. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO (21F) and I (20M) are fighting because she can't trust me, and I get too defensive.
POST: I want to preface this by saying, the trust issues are my fault. I have a history of being unfaithful in relationships, and am breaking the habit, by communicating, and being honest about everything that I can. In all of my past relationships, I was younger and stupid (still am), and looked for sex in other places aside from my SO, but now I am trying to mature and become the kind of person that is deserved in a relationship.
We have been together officially for about 2 months now. The relationship is young, but I have known her for the past 6 years, being very close friends. I was up front and honest with her about my history, because I felt she deserved to know it. She, however, feels that she can't trust me. When she believes that I have been unfaithful or lied in some way, she becomes accusatory and claims that I am reverting to my old ways. I do everything I can to be honest, and open with her. We just had the worst fight we've had yet, because of her not trusting my answers to her questions.
She told me that she wishes that I would say that I understand where she is coming from and not be defensive about being accused. This is difficult for me, however, because I become defensive, instinctively, and try to keep her from believing the wrong thing, simply because I don't want her to think of me as that kind of person. I know what she wants me to do, but I'm not sure how to break my habit of being defensive and exacerbating the problem.
Any advice would be amazing.
TL;DR: | My SO doesn't trust me as far as she can throw me, and I need help not being defensive in response. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19f] need advice on how to end my abusive relationship with [26M]
POST: Edit: Emotionally abusive, not physically. Forgot to point that out. Not that either is better than the other, but he does not bruise me.
I have come to the realization that I am in an abusive relationship with a man I've been with for 8 months now. We will call him B.
I was surfing the internet this morning and came across an article that listed the top 10 signs of abuse. Reading them, it hit me that yes, I really am in an abusive relationship.
My problem. Him and I have been together for 8 months. We moved into an apartment together after three months. We have moved way too fast for my comfort, and I'm realizing this now. We met a week after my ex left me, and he told me he loved me like, 3 days after we became "official". I broke up with him and told him things were going too fast, but we talked and agreed we could take it slower and that never happened. Anyway, we live together. He does not have any friends or close family, and he always makes me reassure him that I do love him. I'm sorry if this is jumbled, I'm in a tough spot and it's hard to put this all together. I don't know how to break it to him. He is mean to me, does not respect any women in his life, he has to know exact times of where I will be and when I'll be home, and he hates my friends and family, though he has never met my friends.
I just need help. Who do I talk to to start the process? Where do I go? What if he threatens to hurt himself or me? Please help me.
TL;DR: | I need advice on how to leave my abusive relationship. We live together and I've never been in this situation. Any questions and advice are appreciated! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How soon is too soon to talk to an Ex?
POST: My (22f) now Ex SO (25m) of 5 years and I broke up roughly a month ago. The last year of the relationship we became a long distance couple.
The breakup, for numerous reasons, was mutual and I knew it had been coming for a while, which is why I guess I feel like I'm over the worst of the heartbreak.
I miss him though, we used to talk everyday and he's my best friend. We agreed to stay in contact and see how things go after spending time apart after the initial break up.
Is it too soon for me to contact him? I don't know if I would want to do a phone call or Skype in case I'm not as ready as I think I am, but maybe just an email to see how he's getting on? If not, how long should I leave it? This is the longest we've gone without speaking since I've known him, I'd hate for it to feel ridiculously awkward several months of no contact. I don't want to lose him as a friend.
TL;DR: | mutual breakup roughly 1 month ago after being together for 5 years. We agreed to stay in touch after time apart, is it too soon for me to say hello? |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Pain in arches of feet.
POST: I am part of a basketball team. We recently started running around one a week on a track. I am not the best runner (avg. 7:30 minute mile) so I researched running tips and strategies. I read that staying on the balls/toes of your feet and not letting your heels is a good thing to do. I am not sure, because of a pain in both the arches of my feet. It sort of feels like there is a rubber band going through my foot and it's very tight, leading me to believe it's about a tendon, but I'm not expert.
TL;DR: | I started to run without letting my heels touch the track, now there is a pain in the middle of my feet, in the arches. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (30f) pregnant best friend (31f) of 14 years doesn't want me to nanny anymore. Is there anything I can do?
POST: I'm going to crosspost this to a few places because I don't know what to do.
My friend is 40 weeks pregnant and about to deliver. She is an attorney and plans on continuing to work to support her son. She hired me to nanny at their house 5 days a week 9-5. I was really looking forward to doing this! I can't have kids and really want the best for hers. She was my best friend for 14 years. It meant a lot to me that she asked. She was also going to pay me really well. I was practically homeless for awhile after getting let go from my job and I'm still getting back on my feet.
Anyway, yesterday I went to the salon and got my hair colored/cut as a gift from a lady at my church. I never went to a salon before and she wanted to treat me. Afterwards, I went to see my friend to help her prep for the baby. We're still working on the nursery. As soon as she saw me, she freaked out. Saying that I smell and hair dye cannot be around her newborn. She doesn't want me to nanny anymore. I immediately started crying and apologizing. I do smell like hair dye, but I assumed that it goes away after a few washes? Am I wrong? I told her to please give it a few days and if it doesn't go away then I understand. She called me selfish and I left.
If anyone could give me some insight, that would be appreciated. I know pregnancy is stressful. I don't know what to do or say. I don't even know.
I tried googling her concerns and could only find information on dying your hair next to your newborn. Not the smell afterwards that it leaves.
Is there anything I can say other than apologize?
TL;DR: | friend doesn't want me to nanny her son because of hair smell and I'm not sure what to do to help our friendship |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit please help I have a tenant in my house that wont go away and I can't afford to evict her!
POST: Basically she stopped paying rent about 8 months ago, I asked her to leave as soon as she could (she has 5 kids and no place to go so i did not want to throw her on the streets) 1 months in she didn't leave yet and I had to move to a different county from where this house is.
This house is in a horrible neighborhood so I figured as long as she pays electricity and water she could stay and take care of the house. Mean while she assured me she was taking care of the house. Next thing I know I get mail from that city saying they cut of the light and water months ago. I call her she doesn't answer, I decide to call the mother in law she informs me that they stopped paying electricity and water and are stealing from the streets. They also are destroying the house form the inside. Also, shes doing drugs in the house.
I asked her to leave but she wont. Should I get the police involved? Is she a squatter or is she a tenant, considering she broke contract long ago?
My plan now is to go to the police and tell them how they are stealing electricity water and doing drugs. is this the right thing to do???
I have no experience with this I received this house from a relative and have no been able to sell it. I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | She has not paid rent in 8 months do I have to pay the 190 dollars court filing fee or can i call cops and get them thrown out for trespassing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (m/23) Am I wrong for wanting friends again?
POST: Hi RA. Throwaway because.
I've been in this relationship for 4 years and for the last year have been completely unsure on whether or not I want to remain in this. One of the main reasons is that I miss the social life I used to have. Whether it was going out with friends (even having them) or social media I always had friends. But I stopped talking to most people when I began the relationship (even my best friend which I regret SO MUCH now) and now that I have graduated college and she is still in school its been a drag not having the friends I used to. She is very jealous and insecure and has even done things like find out my passwords for social media so I was never able to get myself back out there.
Does this make me shitty person for wanting to have friends other than her? I guess you can also say I just would rather be single because I have been thinking about being a single guy for a while. Does this also make me a shitty person for wanting to leave a relationship so I can have sex with other people? I want to leave this relationship but I really do love the girl, *and I don't want to her. Which is why I'm scared to even leave her*. In the back of my head I don't know if it's smart to leave a relationship because I want to talk to other women because what if it is just a phase? Even though it's all that has ran through my brain for the last 4 months. Is this ok? Is wanting to have friends again and talk to girls a valid reason to end things? When I think about it I feel like a dick.
TL;DR: | I cut off all friends when I began dating my girlfriend, I now think I just want to be single again and have friends again. Am I wrong for wanting to be with other girls and friends in general? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I (M22) get positive signals from her(21). Super early stage and I don't want to mess it up.
POST: We're just casual friends, so it was weird when we hung out by accident for 6 hours, (would have been more but we closed down the place). This is where I got those "positive signals." There were a couple times in our conversation about literature and art where we caught eyes for a second longer than comfort and she laughed.
Standing in the parking lot, I got her number. We hugged. Then she invited me to her place, to where I followed her, where we studied independently together until we both passed out. She ended up going to sleep in her bed and left me on her couch.
At first I thought, if she liked me, she totally would have invited me to bed with her. Then I thought, hey, I (at least think I) like her, but I didn't kiss her. We hugged before I left this morning.
I texted her early this evening for the first time, "I'd like to hang out again." So far (2:30 later), no response.
TL;DR: | Casual and accidental study session leads to her place (no sex), leads to me thinking I want to date her. Give me any advice you can. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: If you think someone wont text you unless you text them first what should you do?
POST: I've been texting a girl from okcupid (I'm a girl too if that matters? we are both 23) but I'm always the first to send a message. As soon as we start texting the convos usually last at least two hours, sometimes closer to four or five.
Today I ran a little test and haven't texted her all day, and she hasn't texted me either. Should I continue the test or just message her or what? We've made a few plans to meet irl, but she keeps backing out last minute. I am starting to wonder if she is texting me back only because she is bored.
For context, I'm probably a six, she's a eight and a half, so I'm a lil out of my league and she is also more sexually experienced but she doesn't know that (yet... should I tell her? When?). So far she has been really funny and cool, but I see that she still logs into okcupid a bunch...
TL;DR: | It seems like this girl is only messaging me because she is bored. Should I give up on pursuing her, or is there still a chance for us to have some sort of relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me(22f) and my boyfriend(25m) are making plans to move in together. Seeking general advice and help with a few little problems
POST: We have been dating for just over a year, and we will be looking for places starting in October. Before we became a couple we were friends for a few years and even lived together as housemates for half a year at one point. We get along very well and communicate effectively. I'd say we have a very healthy and happy relationship, which is great because we both have had past relationships that were very rocky.
He has lived with an ex before, but it was more out of necessity (he was fresh out of highschool and at risk of being homeless) than something he wanted. He expressed that he really disliked living with her, and that the constant interaction wore him out and he even made an effort to avoid her. So when he asked me about moving in together, I was a little apprehensive at first, but he has explained that he sees this situation very differently as he is making a choice to live with me, we get along so well, and have similar desires for alone/personal time. I, however, have never lived with a SO before. I have lived with many male housemates (my boyfriend included) though, so I at least feel a little prepared for what to expect.
I am mostly just looking for general advice on making it a smooth transition. My main concerns are mostly that we both have busy schedules (full time school, part time jobs) and we generally only see each other 2 or 3 times a week with one or two nights spent together. Aside from a few week long trips we have taken together, we've not spent a continual amount of time around each other in the way we will be doing once we live together.
I'd love to hear what people like/don't like about living with a SO and what helps to make it a good experience. Thanks for the advice!
TL;DR: | Moving in with the boyfriend. Excited, happy, a little nervous. Seeking general advice to make it a smooth transition and happy living situation for everyone! |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Websites: Stop trying to look like Apple products
POST: I cannot stand every website I visit adopt the same style of layout; bright, borderless colors that hurt my eyes with oversimplified user interfaces that won't let me do specific functions on them without spending a ludicrous amount of time going through different "how to" videos on Youtube and other websites trying to re-learn how to use the site. I've had to stop using all of my social media because the options with how I want to use my account are always getting smaller and smaller. I'm glad that Reddit is the one site I visit that doesn't want to look like a fucking Apple product, because if it did then I would immediately stop using this site and omit it from the hosts folder on my computer, so that if I were to be stupid enough to try and come back I would be reminded on why I stopped coming in the first place. It's okay to change a book by it's cover, but stop burning the goddamn pages please.
TL;DR: | Websites like Facebook, Twitter, Paypal, etc won't stop changing their layout and limiting user options, so I've stopped using them |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My crazy asian mother has once again found my marijauna.
POST: I am 20 years old currently attending college. While staying at home and commuting has its bennefits, having a mother with CABS (crazy asian bitch syndrom) can be a major issue. After finding more undeniable proof yet again, she seems to have had it. Nearing heart attack conditions she began her usual scream sesion with an accent of the high expectation father, because thats litterally what she is; yes that sterotype exists! Holy shit is this crazy, I know there are other out there who are in my same postions: A crazy ass fucking asian mother. How to I break their loyalty to old school traditions?
TL;DR: | CABS = Crazy Asian bitch sydrom. Asking any Asian American with an Asian mother with die hard traditions : How do I make her understand I do not wish to follow in her anciet korean ways? ? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do you control your anger/temper?
POST: So I actually feel kind of odd even asking this, but it's something that has popped up of late. I was never a particularly violent person, but I used to have quite a temper. When I was younger I was much more prone to fury than I am now. However at 27, I'd like to think that I've matured and I'm pretty level headed. I havent been in a fight since I was like 19 and most people that know me have never even seen me angry. (annoyed yes, but actual anger is very rare)
However lately there's someone I know that has been bringing back those old feelings. The thing is, he's kind of socially awkward, and I know he doesnt realize he's doing it, but that doesnt help. It's always little juvenile things...rubbing snow on me, setting off the flash on my camera right in my face...shit like that. But when he does these things, i don't think he realizes that I'm using every shred of my self control not to beat him into a coma.
I don't even get what would make him think this is a good idea. I'm bigger than him, stronger than him, and while I dont want to prejudge, I'd say it's safe to assume that were I to actually get angry I'd wreck him. Ive told him as gently as I can that fucking with me really isn't a good idea, but I think that I've put so much effort into mellowing out as Ive gotten older that I don't think he realizes how close he is getting. Last incident it took closing my eyes counting to 10 very slowly, and deep breathing to contain myself.
So yeah,
TL;DR: | I've works very hard to mellow out as an adult, but recently I've been having a hard time resisting the urge to beat the shit out of someone who for some reason thinks I'm the guy to fuck with. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: If in a game of Rummy, two players reach the same point goal during the same hand, how do you decide who wins?
POST: Today a friend and I were playing our remixed version of Rummy. The main rule is "The first player to reach 200 points wins." Since you can gain or lose points during each hand, it is not uncommon for the opponents to reach this threshold at the end of the same hand, however my friend has an odd idea about the scoring.
In today's scenario, he was up 182-180. I ended up scoring several points more than him and the final score was 254-242. That means I won and should have been the end of it, right? Wrong. He asserted that he won because he was ahead in the previous round and if you were to add up the points 1 by 1, and simultaneously for the both of us, he would reach 200 sooner. I argued how ludicrous that sounded and tried to sway him otherwise. He made an analogy to 2 men stacking bricks until one can reach a ceiling. Whether or not you break the ceiling doesn't matter, but who gets there first does. I retaliated saying that if you graphed the point increases as points on a plot versus time, I would reach 200 before him because I had gained more points in the same time period. We still have yet to decide who rightfully won that match. So, what do you guys think?
TL;DR: | If 2 people play a game to 200 points and both pass it in the same round, is the winner the one who was closer before or the one with the higher score at the end of the round? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: A question for men with little experience with dating.
POST: Hello! I've (29/F) been hanging out with this guy (25/M) for a while. We finally went on our first date recently and I can say that we both like each other.
With that said, I've casually asked him about his dating past and he really wont talk about it. He says he hasn't been on a date in a while and when I asked what that meant, he coyly said "it's been a hot minute..."
He also is a very timid kisser which I find adorable. Basically, I can tell that he doesn't have much experience in the dating department and I'm guessing that goes for the bedroom as well.
I really like this guy and I don't care if he's not as experienced as me. My question is really how should I go about initiating things? Like, I don't want to move too fast, but I have to admit that I've been wanting to move things along physically for a bit because I find him super attractive and I love his personality.
Guys with little experience, how would you want a girl to move forward with you? Do you want someone to just take charge or would you want to talk stuff out first? Is there a nice/diplomatic way to ask if he's a virgin (which I totally don't care about)?
I have been known to be aggressive when it comes to guys I like. I am also very open minded when it comes to sex and really enjoy pleasuring, but I don't want to scare him off.
TL;DR: | I'm seeing a guy that probably has little experience dating women. I like him, he's adorable, and I want to know how to proceed without scaring him off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by annoying a nerd
POST: This is not only my very first TIFU post, but my very first Reddit post of my own overall, so please critique me in areas that I need to improve in. Anyway, this happened back in middle school (around 2005).
Growing up, I was the outcast in my group of classmates from elementary school, and every time I almost made a friend, I would screw it up by being an annoying asshole. One day, I annoyed one of my more nerdier classmates, which cumulated into a fight of words. We both got in trouble, and were sent to the assistant principal's office. After begging her not to call my parents and begging my classmate for forgiveness, we were sentenced to in class suspension (basically in school suspension in another class of the same grade). While in class, I also tattled on the same student for playing on his Game Bot Advance, and the teacher told me not to be a tattle tale, even though it was against the rules.
I still regret that day, and it is one of reasons I tend to stay quiet when things happen. I didn't even tell my mom about the suspension until years later.
TL;DR: | Don't be annoying to people. Do your best to get along with people, or at least tolerate the people who you don't like and/or don't like you. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/F] Could I have scared my boyfriend [21/M] off?
POST: My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time tonight after being together for a month and talking casually for a month beforehand. Before we had sex, I mentioned starting to fall for him, since he had said it before. He kissed me, and then I asked him how he felt. He said that he thinks he's falling for me, and I asked him if he was just being nice and if he meant it, and he said yes.
Then we had sex. Now, we had talked about this issue when we first started dating. We both agreed that sex would be a big step, and how I do have a fear of a guy that I have feelings for leaving me after sleeping together. After we were finished, he reassured me three or so times that he isn't like that and that he will see me again. At one point I asked him if he meant as a date, and he joked, "No, as friends. Of course as a date." (I'm cringing as I type this.) I wasn't crying, and I've never mentioned specific guys or instances, so hopefully it didn't sound too baggage-y. I also told him that I trust him, and I thanked him for reassuring me and that it won't happen often. I mentioned having a stay-in movie night, and he agreed.
Right before I got out of his car, I showed him how to save his home address on Google Maps. He said that he should save my home address on it too, so part of me thinks that he couldn't have been too scared/put off.
I don't know. I just want to relax. But I'm so scared. So, so scared. I hate being vulnerable. I've been burned in the past pretty badly, and I just want to be able to enjoy this relationship, but it's difficult.
Did I screw up?
TL;DR: | Slept with boyfriend, brought up insecurity of him leaving after having sex with me, did I mess up big time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: This will likely be the last time I (26m) write in this subreddit
POST: Despite some supportive words and constructive critiques, I'm giving up on having a meaningful relationship and am resigning myself to bachelorhood.
Without sounding conceited, I have a few things going for me that some don't. But I also realize my negative attributes outweigh them considerably. I'm just now enrolling in university at a time when most people my age either have a bachelor's or are completing a master's degree. I work a retail management job that pays peanuts when most are starting promising careers. I will always be behind the curve, never in front of it. And lastly, I know my clinical depression makes me a non-option; I can take medication, I can go to therapy, but it will never go away no matter how I manage it.
So, Relationships, I'm throwing in the towel. There are a few things I can change, but the ones I can't logically make me a nonstarter.
TL;DR: | personal issues make me nonviable and rather than beat my head against a wall trying to find and maintain a facet of life I will never have, I'm just going to accept things as they are. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[23F] boyfriend[27M] texts former FWB(???) sometimes, should I be concerned?
POST: He's known her since high school and we've been together for 3.5 years. When our relationship was new, he mentioned this girl and said that they used to be "make-out buddies" and that she gave him a blowjob that he didn't get off from. I don't know if this was more than once or what. She didn't want to have sex with him due to her religion and wanting to save it for love.
Anyway, they're still friends. I snooped on his chat history and they chat about platonic stuff, but it always seems to be him initiating the convo.
TL;DR: | Bf keeps in touch with a friend he used to be 'make-out buddies' with, should I care at all? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (23f) get over him (24m)?
POST: This may sound weird but I am still in love with my ex from a long time ago. We met a couple months before we both turned 16. We talked constantly and dated for about eight months despite living two hours away from each other. Our parents were happy to drive us to see one another. He was my first love and the more I think about it, he has been the only one I have ever truly loved.
I made a huge mistake and cheated on him eight months into our relationship and ruined everything. Him and I still talk occasionally and he seems like he still likes me. We have hung out recently and plan on seeing each other soon.
I am not sure where to fit this in but when I have been in a relationship since him and I broke up I know that if he said he wanted to try again I would have left whoever I was with in an instant. I am not looking for a relationship right now but if he said he wanted to be with me now I would jump on the opportunity. I feel stupid for not being over this almost eight years later but he is perfect. He is everything I ever wanted and I messed up.
Do I try to get over him or just bide my time and see if he finally comes around? I have tried to get over him for almost eight years and it still hasn't happened. What do I do?
TL;DR: | still in love with my ex boyfriend from when I was 16. Can't get over him no matter how hard I try. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: What do I do after she says that?
POST: I'm a 17 male, and never really done much with girls. They text me and I hangout with them in general every now and then but not frequently.
Recently I've really grown close to one, and she comes to me whenever she needs help with say school, her parents when they "annoy her", we both play tennis so I help her with that as well.
Her boyfriend just broke up with her about 2 months ago after I think it was 22 months together and that crushed her.
2 months later I'm walking to the place where I train for and she stops me with this teary eyed face and rather sad voice and says we need to hangout soon.
The next day we get coffee in the morning and just discuss about random things and later that day she texts me saying this, "For some reason when I'm around you I feel every sadness and thing I'm stressing about go away and I'm happy."
So does that mean she likes me? Or is it just a friend thing? I really don't know.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend breaks up with her after 22 months and she's crushed. Tells me that when she's around me she forgets all of her sadness and is happy. What does that mean. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [33F] feel like I'm failing my partner [31M] in the pet name department.
POST: My partner of a few months and I are in a not-very-long-distance relationship (about an 1:15 apart), and recently he started calling me baby - in person, and a lot through text and on the phone - which I really love, especially coming from him. In the past, I've called boyfriends weird names that just come to me or are some kind of inside joke, but I don't know...this guy is different, I want to give him the same love he is giving me. Can I just start calling him baby? Or does that seems lazy, like I'm copying him?
TL;DR: | My partner is verbally affectionate, and I feel like I'm not keeping up. Can I call him baby? Do guys like to be called baby, or should I wait and come up with something organically? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My(M19) gf(F17) wants to try sex with someone other than me.
POST: Sorry this is on mobile
My gf(17) wants to see what it's like to have sex with someone other than me(M19).
We both took each others virginity and we have been dating for almost 1.5 years.
Now she's saying she wants to try something new but she still loves me and wants to be with me.
Don't we ALL want to try something new after being with only one person?? But I don't know what to do!
Do I let her try it?
Do I break up with her?
I love this girl more than anything in the world and want to be with her, she hasn't wanted to have sex for a little over a month and note she's telling me this. I honestly have no idea what I should do.
TL;DR: | my girlfriend only had sex with me, she loves Me and wants to be with me but wants to know what it's like to be with someone else |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is desire a conscious choice, or is it something else?
POST: Having a bit of a discussion (okay, a disagreement, really) with my [46M] wife [45F]. Been together almost 20 years, and had our share of ups and downs.
In this particular down cycle, it seems that her view on sex in our relationship has changed, and not for the positive. I feel like this is a conscious decision that she is making to **NOT** want to have sex, or to explore anything new. I mean, I think it's possible to see someone and feel *something*, but then you either choose to act on that feeling or not.
When we were first together and just married, we both felt something and we both wanted to express that in a physical way through an active and fun sex life. Now, if I bring up anything in that regard, it's met with some significant negative reactions, to the point where we're basically having sex once a week or every other, and it's as plain as plain vanilla as you can get. So, maybe not exactly a dead bedroom, but certainly not all that much to look forward to. I've always thought that as you spend more time with someone, the tendency would be to become less inhibited, not more, as she seems to be. She says she's still attracted to me, but that she gets all that she needs from a our less frequent encounters and doesn't have any real interest in trying anything new.
Obviously, we need to talk to someone about this in a professional setting, but I've seen some really good advice on this sub in the past and thought I might ask.
TL;DR: | Wife seems to have lost interest in sex, I think this is a conscious choice and not just an inevitable fact of life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by forgetting to lock that door
POST: So early this morning I'm doing my thing upstairs in my room, trying to finish up this small batch of meth so my friends and I can get up n go. Everything's going good the final product is only minutes from being finished. It's quiet downstairs where my mother is sound asleep or so I assumed. All of a sudden I hear footsteps just outside the bedroom door. I tried to tell myself I was just hearing things, but then I hear the doorknob jiggle. I jumped, looking towards the door and realized I didn't even fucking lock the door! So I dive at the door as fast as possible to try to lock it before whoever was there gets inside. I barely got my hand on the doorknob when the door swings open, and my mother rushes inside, like she already knew she was bout to catch me slipping. "What are you DOING?" She said, as I watched her eyes direct straight to the bottle of meth ingredients that was in the hand I tried and failed to hide behind my back. So then obviously I'm just like, "uhhh... nothin." And she just stares at me for what seems like forever. "Get rid of that shit right now. Get it out of here!" she said, and without saying a damn thing I grabbed everything and was on my way.
The fucked up crazy part is that was pretty much it. She didn't say another word, and just walked right back downstairs and went to bed. I didn't know what to think because I just expected her reaction to that situation to be a lot more dramatic. Like really loud and maybe violent. But she just walked away and fucking went straight back to bed! I just waited for half an hour and took everything back to the room to finish up what she interrupted, and everything worked out I think. The dope was good. I just have to make sure to avoid running into my mother ever again now, because I have no idea what the fuck will happen.
TL;DR: | I was cooking some meth in secret upstairs when mom walks right the fuck in but strangely doesn't attack me and now it's gonna be hella awkward next time we speak |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Does de facto custody schedule hold more legal weight than (unfollowed) decree custody schedule?
POST: [X-post in Divorce]
For the sake of narrative bias I'm going to write this as cleanly as possible, parties historically are high-conflict and even a throwaway can be risky. If you've been there you know the paranoia.
The situation: Ex-spouses have followed an agreed-upon joint custody schedule since divorce, that differs from one in decree. Plenty of proof it's been followed willingly by both parties, though it's changed over four years and one parent is provably adjusting it more than the other. However if one parent decides to suddenly use the original decree as an excuse to adjust the de facto schedule, does that make it a violation of custody agreement?
TL;DR: | One parent feels de facto schedule carries more weight, other parent feels if authorities/legal counsel get involved, decree wins until custody is legally modified by judgment. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my SO [22 M] of 2 years, I'm scared of failing new things and project on my SO.
POST: Hi Reddit, throwaway account because reasons.
I'm not sure if this is a pure relationship problem exactly, but this is my first, real long-term relationship and I really want to make it work.
When I was single, if I got frustrated with a class problem, specifically math, I would obsess over it, getting more and more frustrated because I felt like I must be incredibly stupid if I can't figure something out after an hour or so of working on it. You could say I was an overachiever because I was constantly striving for a good GPA all my life.
This behavior has carried over into my relationship with my current SO, and I'm so afraid of pushing him away because of my insecurity.
From dancing to playing instruments, I feel so inferior when I just can't get it immediately. It's like I can't take any criticism at all or I'll get extremely sad and defensive. I know this is wrong and completely unfair to my SO, but I can't help thinking he believes I must be slow and dim-witted.
The reason I say this, is because he makes me feel like my reactions to obstacles are invalid. Like if I get so frustrated I start crying, he says, "This problem really isn't that big of a deal, why are you getting so worked up over it?" It makes me feel like I can't vent or cry at all or he'll question why I'm even doing it in the first place if I get so frustrated.
I'm obviously not in the right either, because I shouldn't get so upset with him when I try to hold back my complaints and tears. I have it in my head that he thinks I should quit if I'm going to complain so much.
Otherwise, everything in our relationship is pretty awesome, I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. I agreed to go to therapy for this soon because my insecurity, in all reality, stems from my own personal issues. Any advice?
TL;DR: | I'm incredibly insecure about trying new things and feel like my SO invalidates my feelings. However, this may just be an overarching personal issue. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 M] don't know if giving a gift to the girl [21 F] I like would be a good idea or now.
POST: So there's this girl I've had a crush on for a while now (a little longer than a year). We are in the same group in one of our classes, and we have a lot in common, based off of what she has said about herself.
Anyways, in the past I kind of pussyfooted around asking her out, but I don't think she realized that I was asking her out.
Her birthday is coming up at the end of the month, and I kind of want to get her a gift. Specifically, I want to make her a chain bracelet with chibi characters from anime that we both watch (I would make the charms myself).
The thing is, I'm not sure if that would be too much or weird in any way, and I was hoping for advice on what to do.
TL;DR: | Girl I like has a birthday coming up, want to give her a hand made bracelet with charms on it, but don't know if that would be too weird or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girl [20 F] is scared that I'm not over my ex [20 M] and doesn't want to escalate
POST: I've been broken up with my ex for over 2 months now and I've finally started to move on. She broke up with me, and I was emotionally destroyed and broken up and thought that I couldn't be with anyone else... until this new girl reached out to me and wanted to start hanging out an hook up.
We have talked about sex and all the other things in between, yet haven't done more than make out and touch each other. New girl says she moves slower than most, which makes me a little bit upset, but is something that I can deal with.
For the most part, new girl, I think, is really trying to be careful and not get hurt, which I can respect, but I really do want to just start having casual sex or at least do more than touching and making out.
I don't want to kill this because she's been real good to me so far, but I don't want our difference in sexual things to get in the way.
TL;DR: | I want to have sex with this girl, but she doesn't want to ge hurt because I got out of a 1 year+ long relationship 2 months ago. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Wife cheated on me, I found out the other night.
POST: My wife [24 F] had been distant for a long time, paying little attention to me and playing games online all day. I found this suspicious after a while, especially when I would say "I love you" and she wouldn't say it back.
Well I looked at her phone and found she had been texting and sending naked pictures to one of the guys from her online game. I immediately confronted her, and she essentially blamed me, even though I do everything I can to be a great husband.
I [26 M] work alot and also am a full-time college student, so she takes care of the kids while I work (from home). She didnt have sex with him, or actually meet him but I don't think that really matters.
Anyway I made a list of what I expect, essentially she needs to explain herself and end all other relationships. She responded with a letter saying that "she needs time".
TL;DR: | Am I right to expect her to make a decision right now? Should I even give her a chance to make it right? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [33M] girlfriend [26F] has become cold, distant, and says things don't feel the same...
POST: I'll try and keep this fairly short. Girlfriend and I have been dating since January. Up until this last month, things have been going fairly smooth. We have our arguments, they get handled, and it's over and past.
About a month ago, she started becoming distant. Didn't call/text as much, or simply not responding to me for long (5+ hours) periods of time (you know, the "message seen at drill). Then the absences started.
Our situation is one in which by her choice, we really only get to see each other on the weekends (she and her son live with her parents about 30 minutes away while she goes to school). She has made it clear she doesn't want to move in until she finishes school because "school is closer to her parents house," (incidentally, she spends a great deal of time talking about how much her parents treat her like shit and how much she hates being there). She started coming up with reasons not to come spend the weekend with me (I'm doing security for X event this weekend, I'm going with my parents out of state, etc).
I went to see her five days ago, and told her that she needed to tell me what the hell was going on, and that I wouldn't chase her. She told me things don't "feel the same" and that she feels like I'm looking for other options. To date, I've seen her exactly one time in the last month by her reasons. I've been faithful in our relationship, I treat her like I would want to be treated, and I treat her son like he was my own.
So today is the day that if she doesn't have an answer, I'll have one for her. I just need someone unattached looking at this to make sure that I'm looking at things clearly. So any kind of questions/answers that might give me any insight I'm lacking would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has become distant, says things "don't feel the same, haven't seen her in nearly a month. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (21, M) in a friends with benefits relationship but a girl I've been really is telling me she's been into me this entire time. What do I do?
POST: Okay so pretty much I've been really into this one girl...let's call her Haley. So Haley and I have been really good friends for like 2 and a half years or something like they, and I've always had a thing for her but just kinda buried it because I didnt want to risk messing up that really good friendship I mentioned. Fast forward to today, Im in a friends with benefits relationship with another girl we'll call Rachel. Rachel and I click like crazy lol we're pretty close outside the "benefits" part of our relationship and the only reason we've never been in an actual relationship is because she doesn't like to do them anymore and refuses. I don't want to hurt Rachel or ruin our friendship but I honestly can't deny that I want to give things with Haley at least a try, like not necessarily dating but just seeing each other to see where things go. I tend to make the wrong decision when it comes to stuff like this so that's why I have to ask for some third party advice/opinions. I know that Im not actually in a committed relationship with Rachel but I dont want to hurt her, like I said outside our "benefits" shes one of my best friends.
TL;DR: | In a friends with benefits relationship with a best friend, but girl Ive been into for 2 years recently confessed she's into me. Wat do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to do a U-turn at a roundabout
POST: So its December 23rd here in New Zealand and as you can imagine its almost the worst possible time to do my Full Drivers Licence test but it was the only time that was available.
It's very busy on the roads and I am pretty stressed trying to do everything perfectly while naming hazards and what to do about them out loud. We come up to a 5 finger roundabout and the testing officer says "do a U-turn at the roundabout." and I'm sure everyone here reading this will say well that's simple all you have to do is drive all the way around the roundabout and exit where beside where you came in. I on the other hand had never heard anyone ever say do a U-turn at a roundabout, sure I knew drive all the way around or take the 5th exit. In my mind i was thinking what the hell, you can't just do a U-turn, your crazy that's not legal. But sure enough I was too nervous to think of another way around doing this move that didn't even exist. So I waited till it was all safe and started turning into the oncoming lane which was met with some screaming and moving the wheel by the testing officer before I realised what she meant by do a U-turn at the roundabout. Immediate Failure. As an added bonus I had to drive all the way back to the testing station thinking about how retarded I am.
TL;DR: | Testing officer told me to do a U-turn at the roundabout and in a moment of retardation I tried to turn into the oncoming lanes and go back the way I came. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Irreconcilable Conflict of Goals between me [28M] and my [24F] wife? She wants to move abroad and I don't.
POST: Been together for 3.5 years, married for 1.5 years
We both currently live on the east coast of the US in a great city with lots of opportunities, rich in culture, etc:
She wants to relocate to Europe. Mostly because she loves the idea of a more leisurely work/life balance with more vacation days, and also because they're happier due to much comprehensive social programs (universal healthcare, better unemployment, old age care, housing, etc). She hates the idea of living her life in a workaholic cut-throat nation where you have no help if you lose your job, etc. The only thing keeping her here is me.
I don't want to relocate to Europe. I'm very happy here in this great place I've spent my life in. It doesn't take me long to start missing it whenever I've left town for a while. My family is here and I absolutely hate the idea of leaving them. I know they'd make awesome grandparents and I look forward to the idea of giving them grandkids who they could help raise. I have a great career path I'm pursuing. I'm very lucky to live in this place which is a world of its own with tons of offer. My wife loves it too, but now that she's become aware of Europe's way of life, she wants to move.
I recognize my wife's desires (I love traveling, as it happens) but the idea of moving away fills me with sadness. She recognizes my desires but she's sad at the idea of being stuck living her life in this seemingly misguided country where people can barely afford to retire, let alone get sick or anything else.
She and I have spoken about this, but I'm starting to worry that this can't be reconciled, which is making me very upset. Married people of reddit, can you offer any words of wisdom?
TL;DR: | my wife wants to move to Europe where life is easier, but I don't want to leave my home. Can this be resolved? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Are drunk words truly sober thoughts?
POST: I had a class with this girl and she stole my phone and put her number in it two or three months ago. I caught her staring at me in class daily and talked to her on a daily basis up until summer (which has just started for us). We usually bitch at each other and exchange insults over text and things like that but a while (~month) ago I drunk texted her about how I like brown eyed brunettes (which she is) to which she positively replied to. Fast forward to Saturday and she basically does the same thing (drunk) except she not only says she likes my brand, she says "I grew on her" and that she likes me. The next day I texted her and she was back to her old bitchy self and she said that she was drunk but when I questioned what she drank, how she drank it, and why she would text me(we act like we hate each other), she just pulled the "I was drunk" card. when exchanging insults I said that what she said was corny and stupid and she got pretty pissed. I've hung out with her once but she has asked to hang out two other times (which I was busy). I will be honest I'm attracted to her, but I don't really know why. She is extremely bitchy, but with that being said, I can be a huge ass hole. Thank you for any feedback. I know this isn't put together that well and may be confusing but any advice would be much appreciated. I just want to know if I should take the shot or go for other girls.
TL;DR: | A girl I said I was attracted,while drunk, drunk texted me saying she likes me, but then completely denies everything the next day, but gets offended when I say that what she said about me was stupid and corny |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: GF [28F] told me [32M] that she would have slept with a guy if he had made a move. Is this cheating?
POST: *I prefer serious replies please.
This is my first post on Reddit ever, having lurched for years. I want as much advice on this as possible, hence the account creation and post.
RELATIONSHIP DETAILS: We've been together for 5 years, living together for most of those.
CIRCUMSTANCE: She is out of town on a school related vacation, and staying with classmates at a hotel. A girl and guy are sharing the room (guy on one bed, girls on the other).
EVENT: They all get drunk one night, and the guy says she can sleep in the bed next to him so she can be more comfortable (the other girl snored). She agrees, and does. She gets out of the bed after an hour, and sleeps in the bathtub.
MY DILEMMA: She says nothing happened, but she would have let the guy sleep with her if he made the right move. He didn't make a move though. My brain is leaning toward this still being cheating, but I'm not sure, and could really use some advice. If she had slept with him, there's no dilemma, it's cheating, and therefore, we're done. This circumstance is in that tricky gray moral area though, and I'm struggling. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | GF sleeps in bed next to stranger, nothing happens, but she would have let him bang her. Cheating still? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by meeting up a girl I met online for sex
POST: So this wasn't today, but about 2 years ago, during the start of my fall semester freshman year. I used the website "meetme" to meet a decent amount of girls at the time, mostly for the purpose of sexual things. This one girl I was talking to sounded like a real freak because she was down for anything. Due to a self admitted premature ejaculation problem of mine, I decided it would be a good idea to take some shrooms, to make myself last longer and make things a lot more interesting. I told her I'd drive on over and we'd go in her house and naughty times would ensue.
So as I drive into the neighbourhood I see a yellow traffic sign that says "caution Autistic child". That struck me as peculiar, because I had never seen that as a caution sign, like you see the "deaf child" or "blind person" signs, but I press on.
So I arrive at her house, and ask for her to come out, and immediately I realize she is not normal. She clearly had trouble communicating, and lacked displaying of emotion like a would expect given the circumstances. It was at this point I put 2 and 2 together and realized she was autistic and the sign was regarding her. To make matters worse, she introduced me to her brother, who was obviously normal and my age, shortly after this realization. I made some quick small talk, but felt like a piece of shit. Then her parents come out and start to question me, asking "Where did you meet my daughter" and "What do you guys plan to do?", and I felt really horrible, and it was at this point I really start to feel the shrooms kicking in, and an extremely awkward tension builds in. I excuse myself, give the girl a quick hug goodbye, without really explaining myself to her family, and take off.
TL;DR: | Met girl online for a quickie, she turned out to be autistic, and I ended up meeting her family while coming up on shrooms. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend is angry at me all the time lately...
POST: SO and I are 25, together 1.5 years, living together for 1.
In the last few months the romance has died, he seems less interested in sex and he is angry all the time at me. I try to talk to him about it but he says he is tired and I worry too much.
I guess what promoted this post is I'm getting a bit fed up. I slept on the couch last night because after not seeing him for 2 days he wouldnt give me a hug when I asked him for one. My feelings were hurt, so I tried to talk to him but he yelled at me to go away and that I was annoying. After a crappy nights sleep I get a message at work saying "for the 30th time stop eating the cookies my mum brought us, and for the 30th time stop leaving things on" *I forgot to turn off the coffee maker (no heat though) before I left for work* and I'm sorry but your mum brough US cookies, sorry if I had a few. Maybe I'm reading too much into this message because I'm very tired but it just pissed me off.
I do all the cooking, cleaning, groceries, laundry, etc... and I'm not perfect, ontop of all the chores I work full-time and do my masters part-time.. sometimes I'm going to forget to turn off the damn coffee maker and I fell like that shouldn't be a big deal.
This is starting to sound more like a rant than a question but I don't understand how someone can go from being sweet and thoughtful to getting angry about everything little thing over the span of a few months. Any thoughts on what might cause such a turn?
TL;DR: | SO who was previously wonderful is now getting angry at me for every little thing, essentially making me feel like shit. Unsure on how to address it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: 19/M long-distance flirting with 18/F. Is she into me?
POST: So I met this awesome girl (let's call her Sarah) over summer and we hit it off pretty well, but there's just one problem: she lives about 4,800 miles away. There's a chance she'll move back to my country permanently at some point soon though, so there's still hope.
We've been in pretty much permanent contact ever since she flew home, and there's been a lot of obvious flirting. I often joke about how great her boobs are, and she likes to send me photos of herself before she goes on a night out. The most recent photo she sent was of herself in a provocative pose whilst sunbathing, and when she sent it she said, "How's this for a spank bank pic? ;)" Does this sort of behaviour mean anything?
Also, another twist. Her best friend (whom I also talk to, I'll call her Natasha) keeps teasing me saying that I'm falling for this girl. I hardly ever talk to Natasha about Sarah, so don't understand why she'd suspect that. Is it possible that Sarah has asked her to make these comments to gauge my interest in her?
Any advice appreciated - I'm just trying to work out if the flirting, photos, and teasing from her best friend mean anything or not. Is she into me?
TL;DR: | clicked well and flirting with girl who currently lives far away but might come back. Any point waiting or is she not into me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I've [21M] been sick for a long time and my partner [21M] has been supportive. How can I thank him?
POST: Throw away because I don't want this attached to my regular account.
Sorry if the formatting is gross as well, I'm posting from mobile.
So we've been together for a year and a half. He moved in around the one month mark due to an unsafe family environment.
I have always struggled with depression and anxiety and have been seeking counselling and treatment for a few years. A family tragedy happened around halfway through last year, and it completely derailed my mental health and recovery.
I had to change my meds because I was not coping, and it ended up having huge side effects. For the last 8 months I've been suffering insomnia, stomach distress and a whole range of other stuff.
I thought it was just rough adjusting to the meds and it would get better but it didn't. After 8 months or so I've put my foot down and stopped. With doctor supervision I've weaned off them, however I'm 10 days out from my last dose and suffering side effects and am non functioning when sick.
This whole time, my partner has been amazing. He comforts me and holds me when I'm distress, doesn't blame me when I can't sleep and doesn't get angry if I wake him by being up and down all night. He's so kind hearted and patient and supports me so much.
How on earth can I even begin to thank him? I've never been this unwell for this long, and it's terrifying. I haven't been able to do anything, nor be the partner I want to be to him.
What sort of things could I do to let him know how much this means? How can I step up and be an amazing partner even when suffering from the debilitating side effects?
I don't want him to think I'm taking him for granted. I'm just so unwell most of the time that I can't express how much I care with any thing more than words and cuddles.
Thanks in advance everyone.
TL;DR: | Been sick upwards of 8 months and am not sure when I'll be well again. How can I be a better partner through this to my patient boyfriend, and let him know I appreciate him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Looking for legal advice re: domestic partnership
POST: So here's the deal: I live with a wonderful woman (I'm male, btw). We are not romantically engaged, but do have an amazing friendship. We have commented multiple times that we plan on living together for the long-term foreseeable future.
However, I am widowed, and she has a crippling fear of commitment, and neither of us is ever going to get married (again, in my case). Or at least we aren't even considering the idea.
Since we are not in a romantic relationship, but we do cohabitate - and have for a while, and will for quite some time - are we still eligible for a domestic partnership? My state does not have common law marriages(Tennessee), and we'd each want to protect our own property and interests anyway. But I would really like for her to be able to share my medical insurance, have power of attorney for me if I'm in the hospital or whatnot, and be able to receive my death benefits should something really bad happen.
Like any good citizen of the internet, I asked Google first, and read every Wikipedia article I could find. I also searched r/askreddit, but only found 3 questions, and none of them really helped. So, lawyers (and armchair lawyers) of Reddit, ideas?
TL;DR: | Long-term cohabitation with opposite-sex housemate, never getting married, will a domestic partnership let me give her my insurance benefits, etc? |