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9.62k
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51
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9,500 | 51 | Rick: | Morty, the idea was to get back to simple adventures. The Citadel runs on canon.
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9,501 | 51 | Morty: | Okay. I guess things really are going right back to how they were.
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9,502 | 51 | Rick: | Fine, I could eat. But the second he reveals he’s evil, we’re gone.
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9,503 | 51 | Morty: | I don’t know. Tastes pretty good.
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9,504 | 51 | Rick: | Okay, let me know if you start feeling poisony. Good to have you back, buddy.
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9,505 | 51 | President Morty: | Sorry I’m late. Never really ends around here.
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9,506 | 51 | Rick: | Look at this Morty. They really did make a you the president.
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9,507 | 51 | President Morty: | And I hate ‘em every day for it. But wow, Rick C-137. Now that’s a guy to move your schedule around for. Not-not here to blow the place up again, I hope. Ha ha.
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9,508 | 51 | Rick: | Ha. Not unless you try to keep me here.
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9,509 | 51 | President Morty: | Geez, wouldn’t dream of it. But it’s amazing you dropped by because I was eventually gonna hunt you down.
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9,510 | 51 | Rick: | There’s the reveal. Let’s dance.
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9,511 | 51 | President Morty: | Ha, geez.
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9,512 | 51 | Morty: | Come on, man. The guy got elected president. By Ricks and Mortys. He’s being really nice.
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9,513 | 51 | Rick: | All politicians are nice.
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9,514 | 51 | President Morty: | He’s a hot bag of peanuts, isn’t he?
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9,515 | 51 | Morty: | We’ve been through a lot, a-and he does not like—
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9,516 | 51 | Rick: | Serialized drama.
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9,517 | 51 | President Morty: | Right, no drama. Keep it episodic. Ricks never look back. Waste of a legend in his case. You know, he practically built this place.
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9,518 | 51 | Morty: | Wait, what?
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9,519 | 51 | Rick: | And now you're running it squeaky clean, right? That’s why you got deformed Mortys comin’ up through the sewer lines talking about ‘hope’ and ‘change’.
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9,520 | 51 | President Morty: | Fair enough.
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9,521 | 51 | Morty: | Good clap-back, Rick. What’s the deal with that, Mr. P?
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9,522 | 51 | President Morty: | I got a little project going on, acquired some hands-on labor. It would require less if you were willing to tell me how one might bring down the |
9,523 | 51 | Rick: | Alright, time to go Morty.
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9,524 | 51 | Morty: | I wanna know what he’s talking about.
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9,525 | 51 | President Morty: | Yeah, you’ve come all this way. Can you give me ten more seconds?
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9,526 | 51 | Rick: | Literally ten? Because now it would be six.
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9,527 | 51 | President Morty: | Oh, I’m fine with that. Make it two… one. Like I said, would’ve been a big help for you to tell me, but I should have everything I need from you now. Let me just make sure…
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9,528 | 51 | Rick: | You can’t scan an entire brain over appetizers.
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9,529 | 51 | President Morty: | Oh, most of yours got scanned a looong time ago.
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9,530 | 51 | President Morty: | You probably don’t remember.
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9,531 | 51 | Rick Stan Lee: | Check out season one, episode nine, Rickheads. Excel-uurp-cior!
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9,532 | 51 | Rick: | Evil Rick.
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9,533 | 51 | Morty: | We kicked his ass.
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9,534 | 51 | President Morty: | Evil Rick. I love it. Smartest man in the universe, with an ego so big you could just grab it like a joystick.
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9,535 | 51 | President Morty: | Looks complete. I was afraid I’d have to kill every Rick on the Citadel to get what I needed.
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9,536 | 51 | Morty: | You asshole! I vouched for you! He only came here because I asked him to. I’m sorry, Rick.
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9,537 | 51 | Rick: | That apology and a screwdriver in my hand would be worth one screwdriver.
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9,538 | 51 | President Morty: | Pfft, you sell-out Mortys kill me. I’d hate you more than the Ricks you worship if there was any point. But you can’t help it; you were bred for it. Wanna see?
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9,539 | 51 | President Morty: | You already know rogue Ricks used Mortys to hide themselves from the Citadel. But you might not know it worked so well that the Citadel became its own Morty market. And I’m sure you don’t know how far they’ve gone to help supply meet demand. Sure, Ricks could scour infinity for naturally-occurring grandsons, but why bother? So much work. Such an admission of need. There are infinite versions of our grandfather, Morty. He’s an infinite smear of one shitty old man, and he’s attached to us infinitely through his weakness and our forgiveness. This is why we’re with him. This is why we’re alive.
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9,540 | 51 | Morty: | What the fuck?! Rick, say this isn’t true!
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9,541 | 51 | Rick: | It isn’t the whole truth.
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9,542 | 51 | Morty: | Liar!
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9,543 | 51 | President Morty: | Liar.
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9,544 | 51 | Rick: | It’s complicated!
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9,545 | 51 | Morty: | I’m not busy!
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9,546 | 51 | Rick: | Okay, Morty, remember when all I said I needed was your apology and a screwdriver in my hand? Well, I forgot I literally have a screwdriver in my hand. I mean, duh-doi, I’m basically Inspector Gadget.
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9,547 | 51 | President Morty: | Uh oh.
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9,548 | 51 | President Morty: | It’s okay, he’s free to go. He’s the Rickest Rick. We’ll never see him again.
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9,549 | 51 | Rick: | Morty, when you came here for that serum did you refill this gun?
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9,550 | 51 | Morty: | Yeah.
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9,551 | 51 | Morty: | Holy shit!
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9,552 | 51 | Rick: | I only know one man that ever hacked my |
9,553 | 51 | President Morty: | Yay. He’s all caught up.
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9,554 | 51 | Rick: | Wait! Hold it, hold it!
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9,555 | 51 | Morty: | Wh-who’s that?
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9,556 | 51 | Rick: | Time for Big Boy. Duck!
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9,557 | 51 | Morty: | Does he like it?
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9,558 | 51 | Rick: | He’s a metaphor for capitalism, Morty. What do you think?
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9,559 | 51 | Rick: | Yoink!
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9,560 | 51 | President Morty: | You can’t outrun your past, Rick.
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9,561 | 51 | President Morty: | Tch, did you think my forcefield would be down the second time?
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9,562 | 51 | Rick: | I was expressing disapproval of your dialogue!
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9,563 | 51 | President Morty: | Ahaha. Disapprove all you want. Tonight, the quality of dialogue stops mattering. Tonight, I do that thing I wanna do, with the Curve thing.
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9,564 | 51 | Loudspeaker system: | Nobody leave, everybody stay. Nobody leave, everybody stay. Nobody leave, everybody stay.
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9,565 | 51 | Rick D716: | In uncertain times like these, I think it’s important for me to say: Eat shit, fuck you! The drug companies paid for me to say every word, I have millions of dollars, and I don’t care— oh god oh fuck no, oh—
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9,566 | 51 | Morty: | What’s happening, Rick?
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9,567 | 51 | Rick: | He hacked the entire city’s portal supply. Come on, there still might be one way out of here. Out the bottom.
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9,568 | 51 | Morty: | What do you think he needed from your brain?
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9,569 | 51 | Rick: | I assume schematics for the Citadel’s |
9,570 | 51 | Morty: | What is the Central Finite Curve?
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9,571 | 51 | Rick: | Q and A after our survival. Hopefully we can snag some untainted fluid at the source and get the fuck outta here.
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9,572 | 51 | Rick: | Or not.
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9,573 | 51 | Rick: | Wow. I thought my capitalism metaphor was on the nose.
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9,574 | 51 | Morty: | So did you help build the Citadel? Did you just lie to me about everything?
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9,575 | 51 | Rick: | Can’t you just sneak through the cave base? We turned a new leaf, Morty. We’re back to simple adventures.
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9,576 | 51 | Morty: | It’s not a new leaf until you tell me everything.
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9,577 | 51 | Rick: | Morty, we really don’t have time for this. The whole place is gonna blow.
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9,578 | 51 | Morty: | No, I-I don’t trust you. I-I-I don’t wanna do this anymore if I’m not gonna get straight answers from you.
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9,579 | 51 | Rick: | Goddammit. Here’s my fucking downloaded brain, Morty. You wanna jump the shark? You wanna know my stupid crybaby backstory? Knock yourself out.
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9,580 | 51 | Rick: | No-not now!
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9,581 | 51 | Morty: | Woah. Dead wife?
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9,582 | 51 | Rick: | Yes. Now everyone can shut up about it.
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9,583 | 51 | Morty: | Wow, Rick. I feel a lot better having seen all that.
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9,584 | 51 | President Morty: | Of course that’s the case. In their minds, they’re the underdog.
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9,585 | 51 | President Morty: | And that’s how they justify this.
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9,586 | 51 | Rick: | Morty, I’m not responsible for every fucked up Rick out there.
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9,587 | 51 | President Morty: | They literally all say that. They all have that excuse; it’s part of their system. None of them have to be responsible, they're all victims of themselves. ‘Oh, it’s so hard to be a genius. Couldn’t you just die?’
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9,588 | 51 | Morty: | Well what are you doin’ about it?
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9,589 | 51 | President Morty: | Jack shit. I’m leaving. Do you know what the Central Finite Curve is? They built a wall around infinity, separated all the infinite universes from all the infinite universes where he’s the smartest man in the universe. Every version of us has spent every version of all of our lives in one infinite crib, built around an infinite fucking baby.
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9,590 | 51 | President Morty: | And I’m leaving it. That’s what makes me ‘evil’, being sick of him. If you’ve ever been sick of him, you’ve been evil too.
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9,591 | 51 | Morty: | Rick, did you really leave the crows for me? Or did you come back because they dumped you?
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9,592 | 51 | President Morty: | There you go, kid. Now you’re Evil Morty too. Sooner or later, we all are, on this side of the Curve.
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9,593 | 51 | Orange Afro Rick: | Don’t worry, Morty. We still got a way out they never thought of. |
9,594 | 51 | Orange Afro Morty: | Doesn’t that still mean, like, death?
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9,595 | 51 | Orange Afro Rick: | Sure, but the joke’s on them cuz we just found a backdoor to getting off this rock.
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9,596 | 51 | Female computer voice: | Rerouted. Rerouted. Rerouted.
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9,597 | 51 | Female computer voice: | Rerouted. Rerouted. Rerouted.
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9,598 | 51 | Morty: | Oh my fucking god!
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9,599 | 51 | Rick: | Come on Morty, we gotta go!
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