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giraffesarenotturtle | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_3n438x | We've talked about porn before. A while ago when I got measured for a bra, my cup size had gone down because I lost a lot of weight. I asked him not to watch porn for a little while because I was feeling insecure about having small boobs. We argued about it, but I was just sobbing because I felt so shitty about it. This was in July, and I have gotten a grip since then.
I don't want to feel insecure when he watches porn. I like watching it because it helps me get off sometimes, but everyone always says guys are more visual so I feel like he's getting off to how sexy the girl is. I know that's ridiculous because we've talked about it. He said he likes the act, and that he's not lusting after another woman when he's jerking it to porn, but that he's thinking about these acts with me. Is that bullshit? I don't know. The act turns me on as well and typically not the people, but that's because the guys in porn are ugly.
Now, I was raised in a very strict Christian family so I know I've had a terrible view of sex for most of my life. I was taught that boys always picture girls naked when they see them, I'm impure and won't have a good marriage if I don't wait to have sex until then, the usual stuff. I've learned that I was taught wrong since then, but I'm sure there's probably things that linger.
I'm not overweight or horribly ugly or anything like that. I'm tall and lean because I work out a lot, so I shouldn't feel insecure about my body. I hate that I have small boobs, but he basically worships my body when I'm naked. He talks a lot about the things he likes about me.
This sounds immature and stupid. It makes my stomach sick. How do I stop feeling insecure about this?
** | sort of caught fiance jerking off to porn, now I feel insecure. How do I stop? |
ModernSchizoid | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_3n86wu | This situation has been bugging and robbing me of my mental peace for a while now, and I have no idea how to deal with this - partially due to my emotional immaturity and also due to the fact that most my friends are turned off if I bring up this topic. Dear redditors, could you please help? This is my humble request to you. Thank you in advance for reading.
I'm a somewhat-regular (i.e. a bit eccentric) guy working in the Project Management industry. At this company I'm currently at, where I have been for the previous 1 and a half years...there's this girl I like. There's always a guy and a girl in your regular stories - yeah, I know.
We began hanging out..chatting, the usual stuff. (This was a couple of months after I had joined) She was friendly towards me, I was friendly. It was the perfect "while-away-the-time" relationship. She would tease me, I would tease her playfully, no one would get offended. We would have fun. I could hang around her seat for more than an hour and she would not say anything.
Then I developed feelings for her. (early-2015) Not "I love you" feelings, but they were there. Throw in a lot of sexual attraction & lust. I began noticing all the right things about her - the way she moved, the way she smelled, the tone of her voice, how graceful she was. (and her ass. She has a PEACH of an ass - they look great in leggings/skirts - and in general, she has such a feminine and submissive personality, which makes her attractive as all hell. no creepo, just objective observation, you would say/think the same thing ) I was turned on by her. I don't know how to sugarcoat it, sorry if I've offended/weirded out anyone. She is a beautiful woman. Not a stunner by any means, but just beautiful, in the way vanilla is considered as being ordinary, but nonetheless - a delicious flavor. She picked up on it, but didn't do anything. She just noticed it. It was visible in her eyes. (For instance - once, I was klutzing around with her and asked her some silly question, after a stressful day at work. She looked at me in the eyes with a tired/exasperated look, and said "my head is aching after today..." I walked away from her - she was standing, but for some reason, I could feel her eyes still on me. When I turned and looked back she was indeed shooting me a coy look, and when she saw that I had seen her, she smiled in an "I know you have a crush on me/boner for me" type of way.) She even made a couple of jokes about "how she would slap me" subtly alluding to the fact that I was sexually attracted to her. I confided in her best friend. (one of them.) I told her - "I like this girl. I'm emotionally fond of her, and I don't know how to deal with it". I also told this friend that I wouldn't be against a romantic relationship with her. Her friend basically said that (let's call my attractive girl, "Jane") "Jane looks at you as a colleague but not exactly as "just a colleague" - she likes you as a person...and considers you to be a friend in this phase of her life. Giving me the impression that she looked at me as a casual/work friend, who she just "likes". I was a bit disappointed, but happy to know that she had at least considered me as a friend/someone she could move along with.
Nothing noteworthy happened after that. The relationship continued as it had - normally. We spoke, smiled and shared. Until...
I had a big argument with one of my close guy-friends @ work. I had bottled-up my rage and I'm ashamed to say...that, I deflected, and took it out on her. Long story short...I had a bitter argument with this guy and had stormed out afterwards. Later in the evening...I was brooding, sulky and angry, and in a moment of weakness, when she had asked me a benign question in an urgent manner, I mistook it for irritation and basically yelled at her.
Immediately, I realized that I had made a big mistake. I went up to apologize to her.
She just lost it.
She YELLED.
These were her exact words: "You should NEVER speak to me AGAIN. You should NEVER speak to ANYONE about me! I will make a formal complaint against you if I come to know that you have spoken to someone else about me. (Alluding to the fact that I had spoken to her friend about her) I am ashamed to refer to you as a friend! I have NEVER seen a guy LIKE YOU! "
In that exact tone.
It hurt - A LOT. She was angry, I got it.
But here's the thing...the real issue is still to come. Yeah - there's more.
We did not talk for a while after that. We just pretended that the other didn't exist, and went about business that needed to be tended to.
Then...a while later, like 25-27 days later, she had apparently raised a complaint, to my team leader (who I was friendly with) if I was alluding to her when I was talking to him, because his seat and her seat are in the same bay.
Her complaint was dismissed, but I was spoken to. I was told something along the lines of this by my team lead: "I have received a complaint against you. It states that you are being hyperactive (I have ADHD btw), irritating and are disturbing the entire bay from doing their work. I hear that you are constantly talking about non-work related stuff. Keep your personal thoughts to yourself and move only with people in your circles. Pay attention to production 9-5:30 and conduct your personal business outside of this office."
(She had basically questioned my TL on whether I was covertly or subtly referencing her when I was conversing with him. For instance - during that time, I had a beard, and he jokingly said - you look like someone who's been dumped by his girlfriend and is pining for his old love. And I responded with a throwaway line. She perceived it differently and thought I was alluding to her.)
I thought she had made a complaint in a sexual or personal vein against me...if you catch my drift. I reacted. I just got mad. One thing led to another, and I yelled at my Team Leader. The situation went as far as my manager coming down and reassuring me that nothing of the kind I had suspected had been communicated, and that my job was not in danger. He even changed my team leader due to my discomfort after the incident. This was before I found out about what had actually been said (the disturbance/hyperactivity thing) from another colleague. Apparently she was just concerned about my hyperactivity creating a disturbance - and nothing more.
The | aftermath of the incident is that I was told not to speak about non-work related things, even casually and it was business as usual.
Well, fast-forward to July.
I had a sudden...I don't know, swing in mood. I went up to her and talked to her, and I apologized to her. Stating that I should not have taken out my bottled up anger on her. I told her that my wishes were to go back to our playful/friendly relationship...and that having this kind of rivalry/discomfort with her was taking a toll on my mental health. We shook hands, and decided not to have any hard feelings.
But. She also said (this is a brief transcript of the convo that we had):
Jane: "After so much has happened...I don't know how we can go back to the old relationship we had."
Me: "So...you are rejecting my friendship?"
Jane: "Don't analyze every single thing I say. You do that a lot, and it's kind of annoying - just don't think about this and concentrate on your work. There are absolutely NO hard feelings between you and me. There is nothing between you and me." her voice kind of went down in a "who am I to you" tone when she said that
The second line really made my heart sink. There is nothing between you and me? So we're back to being strangers?
This was in Early August.
There's still this awkwardness now between us. She acknowledges my existence and all that, we talk superficially (mainly work-related), but there's a disconnect.
I mean before, we were so close...I would sit in her place and talk to her for an hour and she wouldn't say anything. That's right - small talk, for an hour at work when we are free. Our office is kind of laid-back with regards to rules. Now she goes..."anything important?" whenever I talk to her.
There's kind of a cut to the chase tone when I talk to her...cut to the work-related bit kind of thing...and it feels awful. I feel so bad for it. Even pathetic. Because during the time we didn't talk - I realized that I really cared for her, and maybe even in a way - loved her. You might question me on why I would yell at her if I did indeed feel that way. And you would be right...yes, I'm an idiot.
EDIT: Do you remember the guy friend that I had referred to? He basically saw how disturbed I was and went up to her. He spoke to her and had said..."He really feels bad and sorry for what has happened between the two of you. He just wants to go back to the prior friendship that you had - nothing more, he's not expecting anything else from you...what do you think of that?" To which she had replied: "I do not want to."
I just wanted to know - is this relationship - if you can even call it that, doomed? Is there any way we can go back to being friends? Does this girl dislike/hate me, or is the awkwardness due to my potential residual feelings for her? (from her perspective.) Or is she still angry about the whole incident? (I mean who wouldn't be? It would have been awkward as all hell.)
Is going back just not worth it for anybody...? Am I a pathetic loser?
I would prefer for girls (although boys are welcome) to answer this question. I want a female perspective on this.
I'm awful at emotional processing, and I'm not just not able to get how to proceed here. |
treediggitydog | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_3mbxug | So I got some advice a week or so ago, maybe 10 days ago about asking a girl who goes to my gym out. She and I always talk when we see each other at the gym over the last 4-5 months and I really would like to ask her out/get her number or whatever, but the issue is her gym attendance is spotty at best.
She might come in for 3-4 days for a week, then one day then not come in for a few weeks. So my question would be, do I wait until I see her in person, at the gym, to ask (which I would prefer) or contact her over something like messenger because of the long periods between running into her?
So I guess my | do I wait until I see her in person (no idea when that will be) or ask her via a digital method?
Help please! |
Gnvmiascllsc | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_3mefgn | I am 5 months pregnant and my husband decided to quit smoking the minute he found out. Ever since he quit smoking he is very moody. He has days when he doesn't want to get out of bed. He also has been getting very angry but only at schoolwork. He has always had a bad temper when it came to schoolwork, but would always get up, smoke a cigarette and eventually calm down. He has now twice done this thing where he will get mad and start hitting his head with his hands. It freaks me out. He also destroyed his computer in a burst of anger when it stopped working in the middle of a quiz.
I want him to go see a therapist but he won't. I asked him why and he said he had depression as a kid and his parents medicated him and he turned out to be part of the tiny percentage of the population that gets worse with antidepressants. His sister and parents told me he was telling the truth. Antidepressants made him halucinate and get violent as a kid.
It has been 4 months since he quit and he is getting better moodwise and temper wise, which has given me some hope that this is temporary. The anger has always been solely restricted to schoolwork. Ive started helping him do homework and it seems to help. But it is kind of exhausting for me to do and it annoys him when I understand the material faster than he does. Ive tried to explain to him that he shouldnt compare himself to me (I have already taken most of the classes he is taking, so I obviously understand faster)
The optimist in me thinks he will be fine by the time the baby is here but I am very worried. I got him some anger management videos and last time he had a problem with school he punched a pillow instead of his head, which I guess is an improvement. The anger is getting less often.
We have been together for 10 years and I had never before seen him acting depressed or hit himself. The worst he had done was thrown tools too the floor in anger when he couldnt fix his car
Does anyone have advice on what I can do? Will this pass? Has anyone been through something like this? Thanks
** | baby on the way, husband quit smoking and isnacting depressed and has trouble controlling anger |
noidea20 | tifu | t5_2to41 | t3_2zwp08 | Well it's Saturday night I had some friends in town, we've been drinking watching basketball all day when my buddy says let's go to the strip club. Fast forward a few hours and we're there having a good time. There is this one girl there who is super sexy I mean I'm lusting after her, brunette, big tits, etc. Well she sits down next to me and strikes up a conversation she had to have sat next to me for 30 minutes or so. I ask her for a dance and we head back to the couches.
We are chatting while she's rubbing up on me, I jokingly ask her what she's doing after work, she says just going home and she's tired, well I say you should take me home with you. She laughs and thinks about it And says really? I'm like yeah, she laughed it off and continued the dancing for like 5 songs.
After we're done we go out separate ways, flash forward to closing time and we start to leave when she catches me gives me a hug and slides a piece of paper into my hands and whispers open it outside. The note reads her number wait for me to get off. In my head I'm like hell Ya, I tell my friends to leave without me. 30 minutes later she walks out sees me and is excited. She says she lives right down the block. We get to her place have amazing sex and pass out.
Here is the fu, I wake up before her fumble around the kitchen for a water glass and notice something on the table it's some kind of smoking device not the kind for tobacco or weed. I think it's a god damn meth pipe. I started getting uneasy. She wakes up finds me pulls me back into the bed for another round. I don't stop her but now I'm worried if she's a crazy Methhead. After we're done, we go into the kitchen and I straight up ask her what this is. She says she uses it to burn incense(sp) and asked what I thought it was and I stupidly say for meth. Well the shit hits the fan she's yelling at me, saying I degraded her because she's a stripper and other things. She throws me out, along with my clothes I hurried and got dressed. I'm now sitting at a coffee shop typing this up because I've spent the last hour trying to find a ride.
Edit: | somehow picked up a stripper called her a Methhead, she wasn't, now I'm stuck in unfamiliar place. |
UpWithMiniskirts | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_36ruck | I really think I'm missing out on a part of the game (read: fun) for two reasons:
I got my start playing support in ranked and have since branched out, but aside from shooting for least deaths/most assists, I know I'm warding all game, but where's my kills/creeps stat? I want to check out my play at the end of the match and look for something to work on. I -COULD- count how many wards I place every game in my head but I'm trying to concentrate on the game!
even say, outside of the above scenario: I'm a mid. how many yellow trinkets did I place? how many did the other mid player? how many did our whole team place vs the other team? is that why we won/lost? interesting stuff!!
To conclude/ | wards places" at the end of the game would be a treat. God forbid we get a yellows/greens/pinks spread, further god forbid that we can see it in game.
Edit: as said in comments I have now seen where it is in match history, and I'm happy I learned something new - but it -could- be more accessible. |
rooskie000 | dating_advice | t5_2s4kl | t3_3evp26 | This will be somewhat of a long post but if you read it thank you.
Me - Male 21 yrs old, Her: Female 19 yrs old
About a month and a half ago I met this girl on a dating website, we had a lot of interests in common and we started talking a bit and I added her on Facebook where we continued chatting.
Anywho she's not originally from where I live she moved her a few years ago and all of her family is still back in the U.S, so about a week before I even knew she existed her brother had a really bad car crash so she went to the U.S to see him and it all looked fine. So we had been talking for a few days to a week on Facebook so I decided to ask her out and she said possibly depends when you're taking me! We joked around a bit and set a date for the following week (she even said she could come travel to me and we live an hour away from each other).
Here's where it get's bad. 2 days before our date I spoke to her on Facebook to confirm our date and she told me her brother didn't make it (I didn't know he was in a car crash until then but she had posted it on her facebook before I met her so it's not like a fake excuse since it's a bit extreme to say that to get out of a date).
2 days later she left to go back to the U.S and I told her I'm glad she gets to see her family etc and she said thank you with emojis and a love heart. I didn't speak to her again until 2 weeks later when she said she felt a lot better and we chatted for a little bit before she went again.
Fast forward another 2 weeks she comes on Facebook again and we talk and I asked how she was and how everything is and she said A LOT better and she will be back in 2 weeks or so :) (Now I had stupidly asked her for a rain check date when she cancelled not having gone through this before I realise it was inconsiderate of me but she said we would work details out later when she gets back).
My question/ | is: How do I go about this now I have never in my life had to deal with a friend or a family member passing let a lone someone who I seem to be very interested in and want to date. |
Somedumbell | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_3eadmq | Throw away.
Ok, so first my family hates my gf. there always being tension between her and my family ecen in the first couple of months, no one ever did anything about it, my gf had always done some small stuff that my mom didnt aprove of and my mom(41) would keep her comments to her self until my gf got offended my lil sister (14) and demand that i get an apology out of my stuborn sister. Need less to say my mom went balistic and weve been haveing to sneak around with friends just to TALK.
this is a horrible a situation. Esspecialy since shes pregnant and no one knows. Now our relationship was never perfect to begin and it has gotten to the point where it has effected me emotionally. What i mean by that is one day, or half the day I'll be completely commited and optamistic about our " situation " and the at ither times ill feel depressed, out of love, and like i dont even want to be a father. Its a horrible feeling. However we have tried to talk about anything we feel or have felt uncomfortable with but its still very hard to continue even being i a relationship with her on some days because i just feel so hopeless for the relationship.
That being said im about to leave for college (2 hrs away) and she has trust issues. Like i have to text her whenever im out of class so she can know my schedule and know if i get off it. Idk how im going to deal woth my family pressuring me to go out and be free and liberated at college, and my girl friend. I do admit i want to go and have fun but i question wether my gf will be as thrilled about the idea. However my child is my first priority.
Now comes my big question. She has decided to keep the baby and i told her that i support her completely. But she is pressuring me to move out so that i can escape the vice grip my mother has on me. My mom Wont even let me be on the phone with her for extended periods of time. My gf understands that what she did was wrong and says she'll change, my family says people never change.
Please reddit i just need some out side perspective here.
** | my mom hates my gf, as does my sister. My mom wont even let me see her My pregnant gf wants me to move out to eacape. I dont know if i can. Some days feel so hopefull to be a dad and a husband. Other times i jave the biggest doubts if i even want to be in the relationship. |
sillyandinsecure | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_49z5on | OP:
Okay, I wasn't really planning to make an update post but I was asked, so here goes...
Your comments made me realize that there was definitely something not right about what was going on, and Boyfriend and I had to talk about it again. Boyfriend read my op and that gave us several things to talk about. The first of it unfortunately happened through text, because the day I posted the op he was away from home working but not not actively working (like an on-call system).
He was a bit hurt by some of the things that had been said about him but acknowledged some of it was accurate. RE: Lisa/emotional cheating, he said he understood what it was, but just didn't agree that that's what was going on between him and Lisa. He also agreed I represented the situation fairly from my op. The conversation didn't seem like it was going anywhere new at first, and I was feeling defeated and at the end of my rope. One commenter had suggested to keep asking questions, because eventually things would start to trickle out, and I guess they did. It turns out I was not actually given an accurate description of Lisa or how she and Boyfriend knew each other. They did meet in university before he met me - but in the time since then, he'd gone through multiple breakups (one of a 4 year relationship, and one of an 8-month emotionally abusive one), he moved away from family, dropped out of school to pursue another career path, started a new job (in a similar field as her) and all of this (basically every shitty thing he's experienced in his life) happened with Lisa as the person he went to for support and advice. They've had yeeeears of this behaviour. In my OP, I mentioned that my boyfriend has had 2 inappropriate relationships with other girls since we've started dating. I thought the 'first' one was the first ex-female bestie I mentioned in my last post, the one I mentioned being afraid "Lisa might now be turning into a replacement for". But Lisa was actually the first and had been there all along - he just didn't mention her or was going through a brief period of time when they were rarely speaking, and somehow this was enough for me to get this far into our relationship without realizing how deep their friendship was.
I took a moment to collect myself and then asked, straight up, if he would've picked me. He said he would've, but that I never would've believed him. I told him I didn't think I could handle all this and started packing my shit. I have too much shit to pack in one night and it was already a late night, so he convinced me to sleep on it at least so I'm not driving in the night.
In the morning he got home from his shift and we talked face to face (how it admittedly should've happened in the first place). I was really emotionally drained, and dead set on packing my things and driving to my parents. Ultimately he said he realizes that there is a pattern that goes back to his first girlfriend where he has a female best friend (he's had others besides Lisa, Lisa is just his oldest FBF), and that FBF has usually caused problems for his relationships. He said it wasn't fair to me, and that he had never noticed a pattern of that before, but that he would think seriously about why. But he stressed that his relationship with me was the most important thing to him, and wanted to find a way to work with me.
He said he knows he can't use Lisa as an emotional outlet anymore, and as long as I trust that that's true, my feelings about the situation have improved tremendously. He swears (and has offered to show the conversation logs) that any conversation with Lisa has been strickly casual and related to a hobby or something - nothing about feelings/worries/serious emotional stuff. As long as I trust that I'm the person he's being emotionally vulnerable to and not some other girl, I don't really mind if he continues to talk to Lisa. That's all I was ever uncomfortable with, their emotional closeness. Since he separated that part from their relationship, I felt good.
Things were good for a while, we spent the next few days talking (a lot) about everything, things we were feelings, and making sure we were both on the same page. Chat about Lisa was kept to a minimum, Boyfriend gamed with her online (their usual form of hanging out) a few times, but always checked to see if there was anything I wanted to do instead/if I was okay with it, which he didn't have to do, but it was nice.
We recently had our anniversary, but due to work (on call) couldn't really leave the house, so we decided to spend a chill night in playing video games. We were both sitting on the couch casually chatting while gaming/internetting. That morning I had made a rather unceremonious anniversary one-liner to Boyfriend's facebook page (he did the same on mine), which got a few likes from our friends (though not from Lisa, who is very active on facebook). That evening, Lisa texts Boyfriend asking him to game with her.
Boyfriend goes ahead and starts setting it up, and when I ask what's up he says he's gonna game with Lisa. At this point they'd played together a few times and I'd said more than once he didn't need to ask if he could play a game so he skipped asking this particular time, and at first I was just like "oh okay" but eventually I started to not feel so good, lost interest with what I was doing and started thinking too much. I felt silly and stupid and like I had no right to dictate who he games with or when, but I actually started feeling a little nauseous so I went to lay down in bed.
He came in later to bring me a charger and noticed I wasn't myself, and pressed me to talk about it. I really didn't want to, because honestly I just felt stupid and like he should go play his game. But eventually I asked him, if he knew Lisa and her boyfriend were celebrating their anniversary, would he ask her to hang out on the day? And he said of course not, and so I asked why Lisa did then? Admittedly, I could have been way overreacting, reaching, and not making sense...but I knew Lisa is very active on Facebook, and I doubt it's possible she didn't notice that it was Boyfriend and my's anniversary. So it just felt really weird that she would ask Boyfriend to spend his time with her on that day.
Boyfriend started out saying "But she probably didn't even know" and then "we haven't even spoken in days", to which I thought, "Doesn't that just make it worse? Why did she have to be a part of today? What not tomorrow, or yesterday, or any of the days this week you didn't talk - why TODAY, our anniversary?" and he said "I don't know..." I was starting to panic and feel like this relationship was incredibly done and just.. past the point of repair for me. I went quiet for a long time as my head started planning out how I'd pack my things and make the drive to my parents. Eventually he started talking again and said that he was sorry. He said he realized he was just doing the same thing he always did (defending Lisa) instead of being on my side. That it wasn't working and that gaming with her wasn't worth it if it was making me so upset, that it was nothing he cared about doing or had planned to do, just a stupid absent-minded thought that it might be a good way to pass some time.
This is nothing even remotely close to anything he's said in the past when we've talked about Lisa. I was processing how to respond but mostly still feeling stupid and told him I was fine and he should go back to playing games with Lisa. He refused and said even if I felt okay then, it would be a bandaid moment for him to leave and go back to gaming with her, because eventually I'd be upset again. He also said whatever negative emotions I'm going through, the only way it's going to get better is if we're working through it together. So he stayed in bed with me, playing (with the help of our puppy) to make me come round and start laughing and joking with him. He then dragged me out of bed and back down to our PS4s where he insisted we play a co-op/team building game, and we ended up having a lovely anniversary.
Since then, it feels like things have been different. He says his interaction with Lisa is still very casual and much more seldom (I honestly believe it), but more importantly it feels like we've just gotten closer. He hasn't gotten defensive/closed up about anything since then, we've been more playful and open - we haven't fought, we text each other constantly throughout the day (we didn't do that much before), and in general we're just more affectionate and appreciative of each other.
A couple days ago, Boyfriend and I were gaming (seriously digging The Division). Lisa texted him twice in the same afternoon for him to game with her, but he turned her down both times because "gaming with sillyandinsecure", which felt a little good.
So | of current status: I wasn't crazy. I didnt think I could handle it so I started packing and making plans to leave. Boyfriend read my op and all your comments, and starts to acknowledge things. Lisa wants Boyfriend's time on our anniversary, I get upset, Boyfriend thinks on it and switches from defensive mode to supportive mode, makes me feel a lot better about the whole situation. Since then, we're closer/more communicative, and I don't feel like an explodey ball of angerage. Tentatively optimistic. |
Soches052 | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_4bmiqu | I'm on mobile so ignore any typo. I have anxiety. Like really really really bad anxiety being a junior in high school it doesn't really help despite me having good grades (it's just the effort to maintain them). Yesterday i was taken out of school by my parents because I had the worst anxiety attack of the whole year (self harming, yelling, and just being an idiot) and I the school thought I wanted to commit suicide despite me telling them otherwise.
I have a lot of counsulers outside of school that help and talk to me and my last attack happened about three months ago. My mom always had to get off of work because of me and now she's being yelled at and my sister just called and said I'm a fucking disgrace and things like that and told me to feet over my anxiety and to quit fucking over people because I have the attacks. I have friends, but not a lot of therm and I don't have a job ( though I just called a pet mart two minutes ago to see if they are hiring).
What can I do to change my life around? At this point in my life I feel as though if I were to die I would go straight to hell TBH. How can I make my life better for the people around me?
** | need help feeling less like my life is out of control |
evencorey | tifu | t5_2to41 | t3_1itysu | Told in my dads perspective)
As I was working at the local machine shop this morning, I noticed that one of the machines wasn't working right.
My boss, who was a self centered dick, was certain that there was nothing wrong with it. But I went to check it out anyway
Sure enough, I was able to diagnose the problem, and as soon as I was able to prove to SCD that the machine was really broken, he fired me.
Yep. Not a good day.
No | just read it. |
CryoStorm013 | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_1iw8tj | So I have noticed that nocturne doesn't seem to be played very much these days. There are just so many better choices for a jungler and such. Now what I am about to say is just a general idea I had for trying to get him back into the game. I think he is really fun, but just doesn't seem to be able to compete with other junglers.
I find that the one part about his kit that really makes him interesting is his ult, but that is also what is holding him back. Nocturne's ult has a ridiculous range on it, especially for the cooldown. At level 6, you can basically go to the edge of your screen when the camera is locked. For the cooldown that it has, i think that this range is pretty lame and as strong as this ult can be, i think that it needs to be fit to the cooldown. My thoughts were to increase the range on the ult so that it were more like it is at level 11 or 16 at 6, and more like pantheon or TF ult at level 16. Global would be way to powerful, but as it is now, i think that it isn't suited to itself.
I also saw something on reddit or on the forums a while ago that talked about setting it up so that the cooldown was reduced if the player didn't activate the ability to travel. I think that this definitely should be considered. The darkness part of his ult isn't that long, and often, it isn't used to its full ability. I think that if the cooldown would be reduced, people would consider to use the first part of his ult more strategically and it could change the way people play him, and allow people to see the full strategic advantages of his ult.
No | just read it if you want the info.
Let me know what you guys think, I just want to spark a bit of discussion about him. |
danielcraigkdpd | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_1iy4k6 | met this girl on holiday, i was with my dad, and i saw her, spoke to her family too, and me and her got close, spoke everyday
anyway on the 4th day, she started blowing hot and cold smoke, one minute she didn't want to know me, and the next she really liked me,
it used to send me into deep states of depression
anyway, when i sat next to her on the plane on the way back, she was a bit cold , she didn't want to incur if she would sit next to me or not
and then when i was on the plane, sitting next to her, she blatantly pointed at her book and said ''oh this is interesting '' in a way to play a hard to get game, or so it appears,
i dislike girls who do this
anyway, she maynot even be doing anything, i am quite paranoid at the moment, so
i want to know what to do, because now we are back, we have added each other on facebook, swapped numbers, and she has invited out for a drink with her,
but talking to her on facebook,is taking like 3 days for her to reply to messages, in which she always says its ''her work is keeping her busy''
anyway, i am planning on saying to her next time i speak to her ''hey, i am planning on going up near where you work in the next few weeks, let me know when you are free, if you can fit me in your busy schedule?''
but i feel trapped for the following reasons
if i confront her about what she is doing , then i give her an excuse to drop the date
-if i confront her about what she is doing, she will be defensive and wont want to speak to me again
if i confront her about what she is doing, it will distract the issue away from arranging the date,
but i need to do something, and all i can think of doing, is telling her when i meet her , that ''is it me, the reason why you reply, i know you are busy with work, but is it something i am doing?", but that's if i meet her, which i might not do
shes taking a gap year anyway in october for a year, which is annoying, but i really like the girl, and really think she means well,
i just really, really, want to know what to do,
my therapists told me, i need to ask her for clarification but im too scared to, do i have to man up/
and yes im sorry it's | but i cant describe it in less characters x |
Wulfscomeback | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_ltzsd | Hey guys. Im a lvl 30 summoner on EU-NE with 449 normal wins who wants to do ranked. Ive done 24 ranked 14 wins 10 loses and i feel like when i go solo queue i tend to lose cause of my teammates. Like theres always a leaver afk'er or something like that. But i want to step up my game, and do ranked. I find normals kinda boring too. So my question is | should i wait for my friend to be online to Duo-Queue or should i just solo queue and got fuckd because of AD Malzahars? :) |
PositiveFalse | nfl | t5_2qmg3 | t3_lwvt8 | Not [this]( kind... *tips hat to [BB](
TinynDP and I [have an argument simmering]( Of course, I'm right and he's not. Any of you defensive junkies or offensive apologists care to weigh in?
[EDIT] | nbsp; Instead of automatically penalizing defenders in all "defenseless" situations, offensive players should be able to be flagged for playing recklessly... |
b6nasty | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_m1pzh | I've been planning to make a Cassiopeia guide for awhile but fraps + LoL replay hate me so it's being a bit delayed... but since she's on sale right now and I've seen a few more Cassiopeia's who have NO idea how to use her I thought I'd just write a few gameplay tips for her.
Her strength is mostly in her early game. During the beginning of laning I usually try to zone out the enemy and spam skills so you can reach level 2 or 3 quickly. Cassiopeia can easily get first blood or a few early kills with exhaust and her Q and E just because it has such a short cooldown.
ALWAYS take exhaust and flash. Ignite may do 200 damage at level 8 but if you use exhaust, (assuming you have the magic pen mastery), you can easily spam q and e a few more times to do significantly more damage than ignite would do. Also, one of her biggest weakness' are gap closer assasins and most melee DPS. Exhausting them will reduce the damage delt to you as well as their speed giving you enough time to pop a Q for the speed boost and toss W for another slow so you can get away safely.
It's not impossible to get a double or even triple with her even when facing enemies with a health advantage. I have a great clip of this I wish I could post but if you're being chased by let's say two enemies, throw your W and Q repetedly and just run your ass off. If you're lower than them they'll continue to chase you thinking it's an easy kill but you're chopping off their life little by little as the chase goes on. When they're close enough, ult, IMMEDIATELY throw your W first so they're slowed but also standing in it during the ult, spam Q - EE - Q (yes, you will have enough time to get off 5 skills during your ult) at this point, they'll either be running or at least one will be dead. This is when exhaust comes in! DOUBLE KILL!
SO MANY PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE THIS AND IT FUCKING KILLS ME! When the enemy is poisoned (be it with your Q, W, Singed or Teemo's poison) you can use twin fang twice. Early game, Q EE is your best hurass!
Even though Cass is generally used in a mid lane, I usually take a duo lane with her. Like I said, you can easily get a double kill by yourself or with the help of a laning partner you'll be feeding yourself as well as your teamate. She has probably the most obnoxious hurass early game so i'd say it's a little more beneficial to buttrape and hurass two people in lane rather than just one. But, it's up to you.
Although she can escape from 2 enemies with rykali's and your slow/speed boost if you get trapped in a swarm of enemies just flash infront of them, ult, W for slow and Q to speed yourself up. Cassiopeia is ALL about positioning but she has so many escape tactics. Your early game should be about farming and picking up easy kills. During late game her damage is absolutely insane ( AOE Q can deal 700 damage over time and a double E can do 800 and don't forget Q has a 2 second cooldown, SPAMSPAMSPAM) HOWEVER because it's over time you may not always be picking up the kill but you're helping your team A LOT. If aimed correctly her ult can completely change the tides of a team fight.
If anyone has more tips feel free to contribute! I think I've reached the | point though. Overall she's an amazing champ, take advantage of the sale if you haven't already! |
confusednumber9 | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_fcvid | Married for 13 years, 2 kids, house, 2 jobs.
Sex life was never great, i always had more drive than her, she claims sex does not interest her that much, does it mostly for me.
We are both working full time, with a nice long commute each way. We share all the house hold chores, though sometimes it feels i do more.
For instance, she started a new job 4 months ago, and now morning (dress/feed/drop off) and evening (pick up) kid duty is all mine, but i got no problem with that, wanted to support her as much as possible, since this job is what she always wanted.
rewind to a year ago, she was using the computer a lot. felt to me she was always trying to do that while i was not looking or busy with something else. One day she left her MSN messenger open on 2 laptops at the same time, and i was using one of them, and i read a conversation she was having with a mutual friend (a couple we know, she was chatting with the husband), where after asking her if she is alone, he went on to say he misses their meetings, and wondered when they can meet again, and went on to say that the previous day when we were all together at their house, she was sarcastic and not nice, and she said, well, you know, it was "in public".
After seeing all that, my initial thoughts were that our relationship is over, since there was only one interpretation i could give to this, she was cheating.
I couldn't sleep that night, and talked to her early in the morning, asking what was the meaning of that conversation.
She explained that they were just friends, and she needs a "best friend" to talk to, and he was having difficulties in his marriage, so they were meeting to talk sometimes. I asked why did she hide this from me if it was so innocent, she said she thought i would not like it, and i agreed, saying that getting emotionally involved with someone who's own marriage are not too happy is not such a good idea in my opinion, since even if she only wanted to talk to him, i don't trust him.
She promised to stop this, which she did (no more chatting all the time on the computer), but she was still talking to him on the phone, and we kept on meeting this couple.
I told her this really hurt our relationship, since my confidence in her was now not 100% like it was before, and she said she understands, and she's sorry.
Fast forward to today. She met someone at the new job she started, who is divorced. His contact information showed up on her Skype, gmail, and phone, and she was telling me they are talking a lot since he's bored, and they share the same background.
After getting the last cell phone bill, i noticed that we are suddenly paying more for text messages (we are not texters, having been using texts very sporadically), so i went to check the details online, and found out almost all the text messages are from/to that guy.
Coming back home late today, i decided to take a look at her cell, and found out she deleted all of the text messages from/to that guy.
some more background info: I guess i'm not too social, got 2-3 friends, that's it. She's more the social beast, in contact with everybody.
I do feel that our communication is not very open and candid, and we tend to pretend there are no problems.
Am i over analyzing this? is it my own insecurity that is at play here?
I can give more details if anything feels missing here, and please understand that english is not my first language, so this post might not be very well composed, buy hey, that's what i got.
Ah, and the | wife was/is in contact she was/is trying to hide from me with other men. |
toomuchyeast | TwoXChromosomes | t5_2r2jt | t3_fcwq6 | Dear TwoXChromosomes:
I deeply apologize for linking to an already existing post in another subreddit/submitting the same post here. However, I feel you have valuable advice to offer here, and in all likelihood, you are not all subscribed to r/health. Therefore, I beg your forgiveness, but I trust you understand! The original post is [here]( , but I will copy/paste the text below as well.
>------------------------------------------------------------------
>Dear Reddit,
>
>I have had recurring yeast infections since April. The OB/GYN I see has offered no truly useful advice or diagnosis, and with a storm approaching, I will likely be unable to schedule an appointment for a few days. I would be grateful for any advice or help reddit could offer.
>
>Thank you in advance!
>
>
>--------------------------------------
>
>In late Dec. '09, I had a Paraguard IUD placed at Planned Parenthood.
Every period after this became increasingly longer and heavier, with worse and worse cramps. By June, the cramps were so bad that I could not stand or walk, the bleeding was ridiculously heavy (I would wake up in pools of blood) and would last almost two weeks. I would have two mostly cramp-free, blood-free weeks before the excruciating pain of the next period began.
>
>However, the real trouble began in April, when I had my first yeast infection right before/during my period. Having never had one before, I didn't recognize it as such (It really just made it uncomfortable to use tampons.) It was left untreated and cleared up on its own. The same happened in May and resolved itself similarly.
>
>June, however, was absolutely terrible. The yeast infection started a week before the period (late June), and made it impossible to sit, walk, or use the bathroom comfortably. (This, combined with the cramps, caused for almost constant, terrible pain.) I went to Planned Parenthood to have the IUD removed and the infection looked at. The entire experience was absolutely terrible, and I left with the IUD and no medical advice whatsoever. I went to the ER a couple of hours later and was given a prescription for Clotromizole (two packs of 7-day treatments to be used together) and an antibiotic for a possible UTI. (Though I am dubious as to whether a UTI was present.) The yeast cleared up after the period.
>
>The infection repeated itself in July, and was treated with OTC treatments for yeast infections. The infection would clear up once the treatment was finished, but would promptly return within a few days. I had the IUD removed by an OB/GYN in early August, and was given a prescription for Diflucan and advised to use capsules of Boric acid for 7 days. Being without health insurance, I bought the boric acid and capsules, but didn't fill the prescription. (It's importance was not explained to me.) The boric acid was a veritable nightmare, and the infection responded as it did with the other treatments.
>
>I continued with OTC treatments until November, when I finally obtained health insurance and was able to see an OB/GYN without copay and minimal cost for prescriptions. I was given a prescription for 3 doses of Diflucan to be taken at three-day intervals. The OB/GYN also took a culture for yeast, which returned negative. The infection cleared up and didn't return until mid-January, right before my period, at which I returned to the hospital. I was given a single dose of Diflucan and had cultures for yeast and bacterial vaginosis taken. The doctor also requested a blood sugar and HIV test. All four tests returned negative. The yeast cleared up within about 12 hours of taking the Diflucan.
>
>I'm now two and a half weeks away from my period, and suddenly find myself with yet another yeast infection.
>
>I wear clean, loose, cotton underwear and loose-fitting pants. I shower regularly and use mild soap. I have never used a douche. I try to eat well, and don't consume large amounts of sugar. I use generic, unscented feminine products and toilet paper. I have a BMI of 25 and consider myself to be in good health. I am not diabetic, I do not have HIV, or any other serious health issues.
>
>
>---------------------------------------------------
>
> | lots of yeast. |
whatisgoingon11 | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_fhaxr | I hope you guys can help me rationalize something. So I met this girl at school...We both hit it off and started hanging out as friends at first. I was a bit hesitant to go further since I recently came out of a relationship. She shared everything about her life, including her abusive father, her cheating boyfriends, etc.
Anyway, some days we would go without talking, then we would see each other a few days in a row. She would disappear (would blame it on school/work; we're both busy in that aspect) and after a while it started to annoy me so I told her that and she blamed school/work...after a while I started to ignore her which made her call/text/e-mail more often.
Fast forward a month or so we had a couple serious conversations and things got to the point where I decided to ask her out. We had a couple dates and everything was going well...The only arguments we had were during New Year's Eve, bc she didn't call me, and a week ago, for the same reason.
Last week, a couple days before our most recent fight, she told me she loved me...I wasn't at that point yet and told her the truth...I told her I could see myself feeling the same at some point, but I didn't feel it yet.
So the most recent fight started when she told me she would call me back in 15 min but decided to do so 2 hours later...I wasn't too upset with this action, but it somehow escalated into something bigger bc she didn't understand how that would be annoying to me. She said she didn't think things would work out because if we had an argument about something bigger, we couldn't handle it...I agreed and told her it's prob better we stay apart...
So we met up the next day bc if we were breaking up, I wanted to do it in person...we talked and both decided it would be better for both of us to be apart...honestly it was more from her side than mine. I was willing to work things out.
So that night she calls me to see how I'm doing, etc...then the next day she texts and asks what I'm doing...clearly this isn't over for her. I call her that night and ask her what she really feels...does she want to be apart or not? She says she doesn't know and understands she's being confusing..
Yesterday we met up bc I wanted to tell her that what we're doing isn't helping and we need to decide what we want to do...I told her how I felt about her and that I care about her and would like to remain friends...I told her that I that I feel emotions for her and the only way to get to that friend stage would be time apart. She said she'd still like to talk to me but I told her that wouldn't help. She agreed, then I left, but not before she kissed my neck and cheek...(WTF?)
Last night she called really late, I didn't answer...then today she texts asking where I am and to text her when I'm on campus. I get to campus at 2 and text her...I do that and she never gets back to me. I text her 6 hours later asking her why she wanted me to tell her when I get there...she calls an hour later asking me why I would say that and why I'm trying to start an argument. (I honestly was talking in a very normal manner; nothing that would even hint at trying to argue.)
I got so frustrated by that I told her to never contact me again...I feel bad bc I care for her, but I know I probably shouldn't contact her...I feel like she's playing with my emotions.
I'm sorry for the long story...I'd | but it wouldn't make sense...I'm sure I left out some details, but this is the jist of it...I keep trying to think of things from her perspective, but I don't know what I did wrong?!? Please help! |
blckhl | politics | t5_2cneq | t3_fivmn | I hope I'm not just sounding like a pledge drive here, but take a few seconds to think of all the great, quality journalism that comes out of PBS and NPR at a time when traditional, fact-based, relatively-objective professional journalism is being displaced by partisan political advocacy/fantasy programming like FoxNews.
Think of the excellent science, history, and arts content PBS and NPR produce. On the whole, it is just so much better than its more commercialized counterparts. And, good god, just look at what chasing after advertising dollars has done the quality of cable channels like the History Channel:
[ Ancient Aliens ](
[ Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy ](
[ Top Shot ](
Pawn Stars
I don't know about you, but I would die a little inside if PBS had to start moving in that direction.
I know times are tight, but please donate what you feel you can to PBS and NPR to help them weather the storm. Donate whatever they're worth to you.
edit: In retrospect, it may have been better if I'd worded the headline as "all federal funding," but it's too late now. House Republicans will likely not succeed here, but they will probably manage to force CPB to take a pretty big hit.
As requested:
I didn't want to Karma whore, hence the self post rather than a link to one of the stories on this subject. But here's the [AP copy from yesterday (2/9/11)]( here's [the | version]( here are some [other examples courtesy of tog]( and a quick search of Google News will bring some more.
*If you want to voice your support for public broadcasting without donating: [go here](
While I'm sure we're all quite capable of finding our local affiliate's donation pages, here's [NPR's station finder just in case]( PBS' site seems to lack such a feature. |
partialenlightenment | gaming | t5_2qh03 | t3_fl43r | I've been having a wail of a time with Left4Dead2, OK, totally late to the party (maybe fashionably so, I certainly hope so), but I'm getting good enough to, on a good day, not be constantly bitched at Versus. I love its cooperation, I love the accuracy it demands & my motor skills were suffer a tad after a few too many (I think joyless hours) in front of Civ5. With my trackball thumb all muscly & shit, my zombie hunting eyeballs sharpened to the constant threat of death, I felt comfortable enough to get myself a tidy little microphone. It is my best purchase of the year so far.
I love the banter, oh the times I've been called "partially retarded' (6, I think), the demand that I raise my fucking game from some random stoned French chap who is far more plugged in that I. When you live in a little village in the middle of nowhere, far from friends & no desire to make them locally, but with the one redeeming feature being its surprisingly fast & stable broadband, it's my local. With all this, it's become my social circle of jerks, so far I've made one decent friend, a Turkish chap who's better than me (like most), but with a toleration for my ways.
So, what I find so interesting, in a wannabe sociology undergraduate sorta way, is the bullying. Having long got over my victim status of yore, it initially came a bit of a shock to have so many go for the emotional jugular, but it didn't take me long to start really enjoying it. It seems I will insist on being a fair bit wittier than, well, any proto-cyber-school-yard dick, I don't think it's taken any more than one line to shut any one down. And here lies the problem. ONE LINE?! For. Fucks. Sake. This is a call to arms, of all the whiny little bitches who complain about everything & can defend themselves little, give me something to play with, will you?
There turns out to be one thing better than meeting a group of random people, teaming up together to shoot the undead, and that is teaming up with a group of random people, to shoot the undead & have people who shout insults at you, who can then be confuzzled & offended with impunity. I never start fights, Tzu taught me many things, but goddarnit, I'll go for it when attacked. With style! But even though these people generally have a far higher quality of game to me, I have yet to have found an opponent worthy of my evil charm.
One of my best mates, he's a Cockney chap, but I'm unsure of when the last pleasant word was exchanged between us, basically our friendship is an ever developing battle for more creative & wonderful ways to be rude to each other. Maybe there's someone who wants to be my cunty friend here too. I may be a 'n00b' (yawn, can we at least have a small collection of valid insults? ty) on a bad day with my gaming skills, but let's make it a true battle for the soul. Full spectrum warfare!
So, Reddit, come and have a go, if you think you're hard enough ;) partial_enlightenment, motherfuckers. x
<b> | b>Cunning linguist, as well as sharp shooter, needed. For fun, frolics & quality bitching. |
icbat | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_fn2ci | I've been playing some Malphite lately, and really enjoying it, especially with some competent team members who know to go when I charge in.
I was criticized today, and realized I don't really know when to initiate and when not to. We were on the defensive most of the game, pushed to our mid's base tower while they had everything up. After 20 minutes of trying to bait a team fight by the tower or trying to get a gank, our Lux complained that neither myself nor our Cho (who built tank) "had the balls" to initiate. I saved my ult for trying to save people.
So, | when do you initiate? When everyone is there? When you feel you have an advantage? And when do you hold together and keep poking/turtling?
P.S. after Lux complained, Cho and I were much more aggressive, we came back and won a few team fights and capitalized off of them. We won. |
[deleted] | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_1fdnky | I was feeding playing a match recently as Janna support. My ADC was Graves, and we were against an Ashe and Thresh. We didn't curb stomp them or anything, but we out damaged them by a lot and won lane very easily. Later in the game, my teammates were gloating about how well our team was doing. Naturally we received an aggressive response from the enemy Maokai and Thresh. Surprisingly enough though, Ashe came to my teammates defense. She said something along the lines off, "Why don't you guys back off? They are winning, let them enjoy their victory. It's a game and they just want to have fun".
Curious as I was, I told Ashe this: "Hey Ashe, next time you have Thresh support you should try a more aggressive laner". Her reply surprised me somewhat. "I agree, we have absolutely no follow up on our hooks :(".
I don't encounter this often, but I personally feel like a "banner" isn't a sufficient reward for this kind of behavior. I propose that Riot sets up another tribunal, this one for people who have done honorable things. Small RP rewards, IP boosts, an additional rune page, all generous rewards that would encourage players to be more... Honorable.
Riot pls
EDIT: | lets give nice people nice things |
[deleted] | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_1fgzez | I started dating her during the beginning of senior year in high school. We have been best friends for a reasonably long time (probably half a year before we started dating), and are very close. After high school, we both ended up going to the same college, so we are still close by. The most difficult part of our relationship has been dealing with her emotional/mental state. She struggles with a disorder called dysthymia, which causes long term, seemingly permanent, mild-moderate depression. I have always been there to comfort her, be there for her, whatever she needs if anything comes up. EX: I would run to her dorm at 4 in the morning if something comes up. Anyways, after a speech we heard together in college about the risks of date rape and such, a supressed memory sparked in her head. She told me that her ex boyfriend (of around 2 years as well) had anally raped her. Obviously, this is an extremely scarring event on her life, and most likely caused her depression to get much worse. After she had heard the speech, I helped her try to reconcile with her rape. It has bothered her for a really really long time, though we still had sex, even anal (she requested, not me) throughout most of our relationship and after the revelation. Her depression began to escalate during last winter, ultimately resulting in an attempted suicide. She swallowed several of her medications, and I called the ambulance and went to the hospital with her. During this, we found out that she was physically okay (yay) but mentally very hurt. She was transferred to Peachford Mental Hospital because of suicide watch. Apparently while there, she was treated more as a prisoner than a patient. She received some helpful advice, but the trip overall left her feeling more depressed than she was before. A month or so after Peachford, she stopped having sex with me. Though it was difficult, I sucked it up and didn't bother her about it too much. We still continued to spend several hours a day hanging out and spending time with eachother, just no sex. As the semester was coming to a close, we decided to room together next year in college. Since then, the semester has ended. She started packing on several hours a week of working, and now has little time to spend with me. I have tried to spend time with her on the weekends/when she isn't working and she has told me that she simply needs space. She said it is because she hasn't been able to develop a strong sense of identity outside of our relationship. She claims she still cares about me (says "i love you" etc). It has been about 3 weeks since I have last seen her, and I have been trying my best to give her some space. It is extremely frustrating though, because I deeply care about her and miss her dearly.
I can't really think of a good way to | this.
Seeking advice. What should I do? |
XiaoDaoDi | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_1fiat1 | First off, I have been playing lol since season one on and off. The ranked system has changed dramatically, and imo improved. I'm not sure if this has been mentioned before anywhere and I'm sorry if it has but here goes.
I think there should be a role system like how in wow you can queue for tank/dps/healer. In lol the role system is very set and concrete: Top laner, mid laner, duo bot, and jungler. I don't foresee the meta getting broken anytime soon, and certainly Riot does not want that either.
So what would happen before queue is you would select your favorite role, for example adc, then a secondary role such as support. Now people can focus on just two roles in terms of ranked play. When queue pops, each person with have their roles displayed on their summoner icon.
Arguments for this idea:
-People can focus on getting better at one or two roles, which people already do, but when you get to play a role you don't usually play, the team suffers quite a bit. -There's much more incentive to play support. Due to the high demand for support, their queue times will be a lot shorter (I think). Since in solo queue no one ever wants to support.
-In theory this would reduce rage in champ select because everyone already knows who's going where.
-people that play top and mid can duo with each other and still get their roles, but they would probably wait for relatively longer time.
Arguments against this idea:
-You can't break the meta this way. (but who really wants to anyway)
-People might troll and not pick what they queued for. (There's always gonna be trolls anyway..)
The more suggestions the better! Give me some feedback! Please be gentle haha :D Please give both arguments for and against this idea please! :D | implement role system like in wow |
he0166 | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_1fie3z | So I (22 M) studied abroad this semester, an ocean away from my girlfriend of nearly a year now. Everything is great with us, I'm head over heels in love with her, and I'm even considering proposing sooner or later...
Today I flew home. On the flight back, I set next to a semi-cute girl, nothing that really caught my eye, we made some small talk and that was it. It was a very long flight, with the lights off for most of the way so people could sleep. The girl fell asleep on my shoulder and though I felt slightly guilty about myself for feeling this way, I kind of enjoyed it. Months without significant physical contact with the female species I guess.
Anyway, my hand was in between our seats and, I will admit not entirely unconsciously, our fingers found each other and we went into this whole hand-caress thing, getting more and more sensual and progressing away from just the hand region. Long story short, one thing led to another and I ended up getting a discrete hand job underneath the airline blanket. I didn't finish (didn't want to make a mess), but even after that for the remainder of the flight we kind of poked and flirted and cuddled. All with hardly a single word being exchanged between us. When we landed, she took the escalator and I took the stairs and that was the last I saw of her.
I've never had a casual/anonymous sexual encounter before, much less while simultaneously being in a serious relationship. I can't stress enough how uncharacteristic this is of me, since I am usually a very loyal and honest person and the idea of cheating is generally pretty repulsive to me. This thing was almost entirely physical, and like I said I wasn't even very attracted to the other person (although she was Asian, which I've never tried before so there may have been some curiosity involved in addition to the loneliness/ need for physical contact)...
I felt like a shitty person not only afterward, but during the whole thing. This is a throwaway account so I can be honest and say, I knew I should have stopped and I could have stopped at any point but I kept going because it felt good. I don't feel like the "hey I'm a guy, who the heck would turn down a free hand job?" card can buy me much slack. And if I can't forgive/justify myself, how could I expect my girlfriend to forgive me? I mean, she probably would because she's an amazing person, but I feel like it would lead to some serious trust issues that I would rather avoid. It being just this once, is it okay for me to keep it to myself? Or maybe wait and tell later?
I hate the idea of keeping this from my girlfriend since usually we are very open and I don't want to abuse that mutual trust and respect that we have which I consider so valuable. But at the same time, if I imagine the tables being turned and her confessing a story like this to me... you can bet, it wouldn't be easy for me to handle.
What should I do?
Edit: | got a surprise airplane handjob, freaking out about it, don't know whether to come clean to my girlfriend or take the secret to my grave |
Potatobana | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2mgbiw | well. Here it goes
So near the end of our break up i lost all complete emotion for her and just tell her i cant do it anymore, break up and leave her out to dry, kind of talked to her when she tried to but not really; she pleaded and begged for a chance but i denied that chance.
Fast forward 5 weeks and i texted her asking hows shes doing, she seems bugged so i ask her whats up, she says nothing and ignore me for the rest lf the day.
Then came the next day, all i could think about was her, about how much i loved her and i need her back so i tried to tell her i want to try now but to my surprise shes talking and has kisses my "best friend" while we were off
Kind of bugged but i was half expecting it because she was really desperate for someone to talk to and that guy always had a crush on her and has always made sneaky attempts to get at her while we were together. (Which is why he stopped being my best friend)
So my whole week has been talking to her, getting lied by her etc until wednesday we basically had some foreplay fun before her parents got home and friday she broke down into tears telling me how she loves me but can get back with me right now
So guys and gals, wat do.
** | i left gf, ignored her, weeks pass i found out i was wrong, try to get back shes already talking to someone, she then told me she loves me but cant be with me right now and wants me still in her life maybe as a friend, i cant do "just friends" |
StonerIsSalty | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_2mhp4k | After an utterly brutal 41 minutes and 38 seconds of sweating, stunning and shot-calling - me and 2 other people have just won a 3v5 game with only 2 supports and 1 AD carry.
To be honest, I really would love to write out a huge tale that encompasses what actions we took in order to win this game -- and if this post really takes off and if I get enough demand - I will -- but as of right now, I am literally shaking with surprise and am completely speechless that we managed to pull this off. However, in reality, summed up perfectly in a neat little ' | teamwork won us this game. Nothing but 110% pure teamwork through the use of communication, vision control, itemization, etc. won us this game. And it just shows you that whatever the game - no matter what champion you chose or have or how little your K/D/A is - teamwork beats all. |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2mkqlq | Hey everyone. I'll just come out and say it. Marriage scares the shut out of me, and I know for a fact I'm not ready for it yet. When my gf and I first started dating I thought I was, but learned that I'm not.
With that being said, my girlfriend is more than ready for marriage, and is often very upset that I'm not, which lead to her giving me an ultimatum. If she's not engaged by next month (end of the year) then she will leave me.
I do love her, but I'm not ready for marriage yet, and I'm starting to feel the pressure.
** | girlfriend will leave me unless I propose by the end of 2014. |
mocitythedon | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2mna2y | Sorry if this is long. Me and my wife are ready to have our second child but there is an issue
.
I am a very stud female that has never thought of being pregnant EVER. Until this issue came up. I started thinking about it and i would really like to have a child from my blood line. In vitro is out of the question because it is so expensive. So I would have to be the one to carry the child.
My wife's issue is she just always assumed she would be the one to have the kids period. She wants a child that would resemble hers. So now we are at a stand point. She claimed she will be happy and support whatever decision I make but I can't seem to get her to understand that its not like buying a new car. This is a life we are bringing in to this world. Its not something you just say "I'll be fine"
I want her to be stoked that we are adding a new addition to our family. And it might just be it isn't the right time. But what about in the future and its the same situation?
How do I make her understand how big of a deal it is that I'm willing to do this and have one of my own?
** | me and wife want to have a baby. Can't decide which one will have it. |
Awaythrow8888 | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2mngzl | I'm still trying to work this out myself so please bear with me.
I was in a LTR with a girl for 4.5 years through college and some of grad school. We had our issues, but the primary reason for our breakup was that both of us wanted different things out of life. She wanted to move to settle down, get married, and move to suburbs. Whereas I wanted to move to the city and focus on my career. We spent some time apart after our breakup to get over each other, but after that we remained close friends. We keep in fairly regular contact and confide in each other regarding personal issues (some issues we don't even tell our SOs). Both of us have been on relationships since, but the difference is she's been in longer ones but I have been in casual/short-lived ones. I can confidently say though that I don't harbor any romantic feelings for her and as far as I can tell, she doesn't for me either.
I've been dealing with a somewhat devastating breakup. This had nothing to do with my ex, rather it had to do with the other person's ex to some extent. Revently, I've been really reevaluating my own life and one thing that came up was this friendship with my own ex. Right now, it's mostly just a feeling but I almost feel like it might be unfair to ourselves and our current/future SOs if we remain so close. So I have been thinking about seriously limiting contact or cutting it all together. Being that we've been so close, I can't just fade her so I conversation needs to occur.
Now what I'd like to know is if this is just a knee jerk reaction to my recent breakup? Or is this type of thing truly unhealthy?
** | dated girl for 4.5 years, broke up years ago.
remained close friends.
recent breakup (unrelated to her) made me reevaluate myself.
should I remain friends with this person? |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2mnsu6 | I've been a pretty insecure guy. I've always brought up problems for no reason and lost my temper over small things, i was admittedly pretty manipulative and just generally an ass, so i kind of expected this to happen.
We had been together for 11 months. 10 of those were spent with the both of us relatively happy - or so i thought. In the past month she gained a new circle of friends, and i felt more and more replaced by them each day. Last night, i told her this. I told her i wasn't comfortable with feeling second best, and we argued a lot. I left her house and we were both pretty upset, and on the way home we argued more via text. She broke up with me over text.
I called her and asked her not to do it. I begged and pleaded. She told me she had been suicidal for the past few months (and kept it from me), and told me she simply didn't love me enough anymore to put up with my shit. I took the immature route at the height of my temper and said i was going to commit suicide. I did genuinely have the intention to, but i decided to just go to bed and sleep it off.
Worst morning ever. I woke up thinking none of it was real. When it hit me that i had lost the girl i love, it hurt more than anything. I'm a complete mess. I feel like even if she did give me another chance, i might not want to take it. She doesn't love me as much as she used to anymore and that's what kept me going all this time.
So now i'm just a mess. I'm depressed, thinking about my actions and how much of this i actually deserve. I want to know if i should really fight for her, or if maybe this was for the best knowing she was lying this whole time. She made so many promises never to give up on me, she said she'd always love me, all that teenage bullshit. And look where i am? I'm just wishing none of this ever happened because i've never felt worse.
So what's your opinion Reddit? Are we both bad guys? Just me? Where do i go from here? Should i leave her alone? I'll take any and all advice.
Edit: | got dumped, feel shit, wondering who's more in the wrong, and wondering where i go from here |
withmymagazines | wow | t5_2qio8 | t3_2momab | Hello /r/wow!
I'm coming back since Cataclysm. I understand (I think) that the new expansion has brought us back into a different time.. I'm a little lost on the story. Could anyone provide me with a nice friendly | or a place to look for a catch up?
Thank you so much! |
atillakasap | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_2mosfl | Life:- You wake up, get ready for the day, go to do whatever you do whether that be work, school etc. in the process of that, some days you have amazing days where everything is going accordingly, and you end the day with a nice solid victory feeling. You could also have that day where its basically filled with scumbags, people that annoy you and make your life harder, sometimes you get the job done and sometimes you don't (self carry in soloQ) you end the day with defeat and hope that tomorrow will be a better day and that it gets better.
League of legends:- You get in champ select, get ready for the game, once you're in the game you, you gotta get your items and head to lane. You could have that game where its a clean sweep, your mechanics are on point for your level of gameplay, you have a genuinely nice team etc. You end up with a victory and feel good.
You could have that game where its filled with trolls, AFKers, rages and just pure assholes. Sometimes you win with these awful people sometimes you don't, the game ends with a defeat, you que up again hoping that the next game will get better.
AND SO FORTH LIFE GOES ON!
Key point to know; A day in real life is a 1 game in league of legends, that should help you understand better.
Can't | you gotta read it completely. |
GipsySafety | nfl | t5_2qmg3 | t3_2od7aj | Chris Borland Run Defense Megapost
Request
Please don't upvote any of my linked comments that are use for the General Writeup, Short Arms, Breakdowns, and Game Clips. They don't need the visibility since they are linked in the post. Since this post is composed of so many of those linked comments, they can obscure and hinder any real discussions.
Instead, please upvote discussion comments to increase their visibility and encourage more comments.
General
#50
Inside Linebacker (ILB)
23 years old
5'11", 248 lbs
4 yr starter at Wisconsin (+ medical redshirt year)
6 starts in true freshman year of 2009
2 starts in a 5th year (2010 was injury redshirt year after starting 2 games)
2014, 3rd round, #77 overall
pick acquired via trade from Titans.
TEN acquired 2013 pick #34 (WR Justin Hunter).
SF acquired 2013 pick #40 (Tank Carradine), 2013 7th round pick (traded away), and 2014 pick #77 (Borland)
NFL Stats (thru Week 13)
[Profootball reference](
Games (Started) : 12 (6)
Tackles + Asst : 69 + 18 = 87 total
Int : 2
Sacks : 1
Combine Measurables
5'11", 248 lbs
Arm Length : 29 1/4"
Hand size : 9 7/8"
40 yard : 4.83s
20 yard short shuttle : 4.27s (12th among LBs)
3 cone : 7.18s (14th among LBs)
Vertical leap : 31"
Broad Jump : 114"
Bench Press : 27 reps (5th among LBs)
Wonderlic : 32
Section 1 : Intro
The 49ers boast a roster with two of the best inside linebackers in the NFL in Bowman and Willis (and arguably the TOP 2 ILBs), so when Bowman was lost to a catastrophic knee injury at the end of 2013 and Willis went down for the season in Week 6 due to a toe injury, the ILB corps went from Bowman/Willis to Wilhoite/Borland. Losing one top tier defender is difficult enough to handle but losing two adjacent players? Time to surrender and get ready for next year.
But the 49ers, Head Coach Jim Harbaugh, Defensive Coordinator Vic Fangio, and Linebackers coach Jim Leavitt had other ideas. Wilhoite had already been playing in the absence of Bowman and now rookie LB Chris Borland would step in as the starter. And in Week 7 v the Denver Broncos, rookie LB Borland stepped in for Patrick Willis.
While most fans hope for the best, they probably expected to see a rookie play like a rookie. It would not be surprising to see him struggle and certainly there's no expectation for him to look as good as Willis or Bowman. He'd probably be a little tentative, get out of position at times, and a little confused. That's natural. But that's not how it happened. He showed up with a savvy and veteran awareness that was uncanny and finished the game with a team leading 8 tackles (7 solo) and 1 sack.
And for as well as he played that game, he improved significantly in each of his next few games, recording dizzying tackle numbers. More importantly, he was a contributing member of the defense as a whole; the training wheels came off early and the team as a whole did not need to worry about him; he's going to be where he's supposed to be and he's going to do what he's to do. That levle of TRUST is key for a defense to function as a unit; it's especially important to a high level defense and impressive that a defense filled with veterans can depend on this rookie.
Here is a short ( ahem ) list of linebackers whose height was considered a major deficiency:
Sam Mills (5'9", 230 lbs, undrafted)
London Fletcher (5'10", 242 lbs, undrafted)
Dat Nguyen (5'11", 238 lbs, 3rd round)
Zach Thomas (5'11", 242 lbs, 5th round)
Elvis Dumervil (5'11", 255 lbs, 4th round)
Chris Spielman (6', 248 lbs, 2nd Round)
Derrick Brooks (6', 235 lbs, 1st round)
And there have been many many others that have had various levels of success. In fact, there have been so many "Too Short" Linebackers that it is surprising the label still exists.
But it wasn't just "too short"-ness, it was the entire physical package. Too short. Too slow. Not explosive. Arms too short. In other words, he failed the Combine. So how does a short, stocky, slow guy burst onto the scene as an impact linebacker in his rookie year?
Now, let's get all the white guy cliches out of the way. He's scrappy. He's a gym rat. Better game speed than foot speed. He's a smart football player. Hard-nosed guy. Always hustling. High motor.
The amusing bit is that in this case, it's all true and it's part of why he has been successful at each level in which he has competed. He's got all that and more and it certainly shows up.
This look at Chris Borland will attempt to explain his impact in the 49ers' run defense (a detailed look at his coverage will be saved for another day). This will be a deep look at how Borland fits into the 49ers' Run Defense and how he has managed to be so effective. To that end, we will look at the six games in which he has started, weeks 7 thru 13 (49ers had a bye in week 8).
This film study was a truly interesting and surprising exercise b/c there was so much to his approach to the game that "popped" on the video. He really is rather unremarkable as a physical specimen (for the NFL) and there were some incidents where those physical deficits manifested themselves; but more often than not, his high skill level and intelligence shone thru. It is fascinating to study the way he approaches the plays and the opposing players; there are times when he does things on the field that are just remarkable; you just don't expect it out of a linebacker.
As we go thru this together, hopefully you will get as much of a thrill from watching it as I did.
Warning : this is a gruesomely detailed post and very very long (one reason to omit coverage details). For those that are looking for | s, you may want to glance at the General Writeup and then the Finale. For the true diehard fans, the Breakdown Details will contain the real meat and the Game Clips will give you all the run defense plays that weren't detailed so that you may look and study on your own and reach your own conclusions and perhaps add to the discussion.
Section 2 : General Writeup
This is a longer writeup on what I noticed about Chris Borland's run defense while studying the videos.
[Link](
Section 3 : Short Arms
This is a writeup on why the Short Arms issue was a concern.
[Link](
Section 4 : Breakdown Details
This is an extensive set of isolation GFYs (GFYs that have a zoom on Borland) and Galleries to show examples of his skills in the run game. Many of these are detailed in the Section 2 : General Writeup.
[Link](
Section 5 : Game Clips
Here are several large sets of 49ers Run D clips. It should be NEARLY comprehensive for the games (though I may have missed some). These are separated into TACKLE plays and NON TACKLE plays.
The plays and the tackle attributed are taken from the Gamebook and may not be entirely accurate. I think there were at least 2-3 plays where Borland was given as tackle where it is clear he was not involved. Also, there were at least 2 plays where he made a tackle and was not given credit. These normally get corrected later on review for the Official stats.
For the most part, I have stayed with the Gamebook play list for the tackles. The two plays where Borland made a tackle but was not credited (both in the NO game), I have moved into the TACKLE PLAY list, but all others I've left as the Gamebook lists.
Week
Opp
Opp Rush
Run D Tackles
Total Tackles
Clip Link
7
DEN
27 / 115, 4.3 avg
6
8
[link](
8
BYE
9
STL
27/91, 3.4 avg
10
18
[link](
10
NO
31/136, 4.4 avg
12
17
[link](
11
NYG
21/65, 3.1 avg
10
12
[link](
12
WAS
27/136, 5.0 avg
9
10
[link](
13
SEA
34/157, 4.6 avg
10
15
[link](
Section 6 : Finale
Chris Borland is one of the exciting young defensive players in the league in a decidedly unexciting position; pass rushing specialists and defensive backs get highlighted far more, but every coach--and most fans--will tell you that a defense has to be strong in the middle to have any chance of success. The 49ers fans have been spoiled by having Patrick Willis and NaVorro Bowman. They are now adding another talent into the mix.
Borland has some noticeable weaknesses in his game that he will have to work to continue to overcome. Opposing offenses are going to adjust; offensive players are going to watch more tape on him, get a stronger sense of his play, and work to neutralize his skills. That will be the next level for him.
But he won't have to do it alone. He's fortunate to be in a defense that has been built to protect the ILBs. The front line of Smith, Williams, and McDonald take pride in their ability to keep their linebackers clean and when Bowman returns to the lineup, Borland will benefit from playing besides a 3x All-Pro.
What is so encouraging and exciting about him is that he is clearly a hard worker and one who has a great feel for the flow of the players on the field. The game will continue to slow down for him. He will also get naturally stronger, get more fit, and polish his handfighting techniques. He's had a huge splash of a rookie year so far (with 4 games remaining) and is just starting off.
It's going to be interesting how the 49ers work him into the lineup when both Bowman and Willis are healthy. Regardless, it should be fun to watch him play over his career.
Section 7 : More Reading
Thanks to /u/skepticismissurvival for pointing out this pre-draft article from Feb, 2014 :
[Carlos Hyde v Chris Borland writeup by Barian Fostate](
and skepticismisSurvival gave a nice writeup on the what he sees :
[link](
He has won three in-season rookie awards so far :
[NFL Defensive Rookie of the Month, Nov](
[NFL Pepsi Rookie of the Week, Week 10](
[NFL Pepsi Rookie of the Week, Week 11]( |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2ofm4s | I am 24 and she is 21 I shouldn't be so obsessed but I am
At the end of the summer I met the most incredible girl. After a little bit we ended up dating. We weren't even together for 2 months when she ended things.
Her breakup was very short, very cold and took me by surprise. I am still completely infatuated with her. Can you give me any advice so that I can move on and stop bothering her.
We have been broken up for almost as long as we were together and I am having a harder time than I have ever had before.
** | girlfriend left and weeks later I'm going crazy trying to get over her |
hutcho66 | wow | t5_2qio8 | t3_2ojny4 | So story time. Just finished a long run of Mara (levelling a protadin through LFD). Got put in Wicked Grotto but did a couple of the other bosses as well. The whole time I'm wondering why mobs are taking a while to come down... Check recount when I get out, and find that the priest that got selected as DPS only did 3% of the damage - thats right, he/she back up healed the whole way through. And only managed 27% of the heals too... I almost feel bad, must be a noob because the actual healer was a rdruid - that's right, they healed while there was a goddamned tree running beside them...
So | if you're queueing under multiple specs, PLEASE NOTE WHICH ONE YOU ARE CHOSEN FOR! |
jonwashere1 | tifu | t5_2to41 | t3_2ol4vz | This happened about 2 weeks ago and I fucked up big. So here is my story.
So I met this girl, let call her Lindsey, at my friends wedding the day before I moved to college. We had a great time and exchanged numbers and all that jazz. We instantly became best buds even though we went to college 8 hours away. We helped each other through different relationships by giving each other advice. We could literally tell each other everything thing. We had no filter between us. It was always great to talk to her. It got to the point where she said we are going to get married etc, and I played along with it. So we finally got to the point of video chatting, and it was even better than before. Lindsey and I made it to a whole new level of friendship and we became inseparable. Then came the fuck up. I threw a party over fall break and invited her to come. Knowing that her favorite drink is mike's hard lemonade I had my parents buy her some. (we are both 18) ( I know my parents are cool as fuck buying me booze). So waiting for her to show up I ask her friend where is she. The friend replys "Don't worry Jonwashere1 she will show up. You never noticed but when you would go out of the room during the skype calls she would always comment on how attractive you were." Well this was an ego boost that brought me to my demise. Anyways she shows up a little late, It's about 11pm and I'm already pretty fucked up. I give her a mike's and a glow in the dark condom I promised to give her a few months back (We had a weird friendship, but that's another story for another time). So fast forward to when she is a little tipsy we play some beer pong. Me being the now confident horny fucked up suave version of myself bets her if I make this shot you owe me a kiss and she agree. Of course I fucking drain that shit. So later in my room alone we talk and stuff. Talking leads to making out, but horny drunk me knowing I have a good chance keeps pushing for more, asking every base I reach if it is okay. Until the actual sex she is like "I guess so but I don't want to ruin our friendship" Drunk me doesn't comprehend and just want's to slay her pussy. So I rip open my last glow in the dark condom (too drunk to even put it to the light to make it glow :(...) and I'm so drunk I can't even stick my dick in her... she doesn't help at all so I spent 5 minutes trying to stick it in missionary style...failing miserably. So I say fuck it flip her over and go doggy style. I get it in and I'm going to town, then I realize that she isn't enjoying it, and it hits me. "what the fuck am I doing?" and I just stop. Then proceed to pass out on top of her for a second. Long story short after that she makes and excuse to leave the room because her friend needs something. Everything is fucking awkward from that point onward. I fucking hate the fact that I ruined such a good thing. I tried talking to her and keep getting ignored. I hate that I did such a dumb thing and ruined such a great friendship.... Worst of all I ruined such a perfectly good glow in the dark condom. God I want to fix this fuck up but I don't know how. Her friend (who definitely earned bro status) told she said "If me and Jonwashere1 aren't friends anymore it's because of him, I really want to go back to normal like nothing happened" Guess what I try and talk like nothing happened but she never responds. So that quote was just false hope given to me and it sucks. reality sucks fuck me.
ANYWAYS | had an awesome friendship with a girl, hookedup with her, went to far tried slaying her pussy drunk off my mind, everything is awkward now, haven't communicated with her in 2 weeks, wasted an awesome glow in the dark condom. I feel like a worthless piece of shit. |
[deleted] | dating_advice | t5_2s4kl | t3_ze4ir | Yeah, sounds lame. We have a local gas station where I know all of the employees by face and they know me. There's a cute girl in there I've wanted to talk to for a long time now, but I don't know how to go about it.
I know girls working at stores must get that shit all the time, but I dunno. I can kinda feel a sort of attraction between us, even if its a silent one. I'm sure that sounds creepy but I tend to be very shy and not even second glance at women. I have had little self confidence until recently and this is the first shot I feel comfortable at taking in meeting someone new.
So | how do I not just come off as another creepy flirting guy in a store, and more of someone looking for a new friend? |
[deleted] | gaming | t5_2qh03 | t3_zfc2v | I love to play video games, two of my most favorite games being by Valve (Team Fortress 2 and Portal). I know how good these games are, and I've been thinking of trying the Half-Life series.
Now, I'm not saying that blood and gore are scary and mommy won't let me play those kinds if games, but my personal preference is to avoid it. I simply have more fun in a game that isn't very serious or graphic. Sure, tf2 has flying body parts, but the blood is low quality, and it's light hearted (lol a piece of you!). I like tf2.
I've read that Half-Life can be dark and gory. I don't like those kinds of games. They rated tf2 the same way, and I loved it. They rated Skyrim the same way, and I just couldn't get into it. I just don't know what to think of those rating systems. Being 19, I'm out of their range to "protect". What's bad for a 13 year old is entertaining for me.
I guess my | is that I don't like excessively gory video games. Would you recommend Half-Life to me? |
sohowlongcanmynamebe | TwoXChromosomes | t5_2r2jt | t3_zfqzc | I want to be healthy. I want to feel healthy. I want a body that can climb mountains. I do not want to be objectified or judged for my looks. I do not want any attention; positive or negative. For years I've been living a pattern where I lose weight, people start saying things, I freak out and regain weight, they go back to ignoring me. I don't want to be fat, but I kind of still want to live in a fat body? Is there anything I can do to be invisible? I already shop in the menswear section, I already wear baggy clothes. Can I do anything short of seeing a therapist I can't afford? Am I alone in feeling this way? Does anyone have any advice for me? (Even unrelated 'keep paint out of the ferrule' advice is welcome)
Edit: Okay, I ended up getting busied, needing to sleep, needing to work, and I ended up abandoning this for a day. I only responded to one comment because nyaa nyaa. I'll probably respond to a couple more. But since it's been a while, I think responding to lots of comments may be irritating to those who commented. Is it? Is it annoying to have to click 'context' on an orangered?
Thank you to those who commented; knowing I'm not the only one who feels/has felt this way takes a bit of weight from my chest. You've boosted my confidence a bit. It's comforting to read that I can get through this with a bit of resolve. I think I have resolve... At least I've recognized the behavioral pattern before conforming to it. I can't believe I hadn't thought of wearing sunglasses! That's so simple and obvious and it just never crossed my mind. So yeah, I guess the | is resolve, determination, keep your eye on the prize and fake it til you make it. |
HSPboyfriend | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_1jnjfo | My girlfriend and I have been dating for four years this past June. I love her and want to help her. When my girlfriend was 12 she was sent to a therapist because of her social anxiety. She would get extremely frightened when students talked to her or when teachers chastised her, she took it all very personally and would withdraw to the point where she refused to talk.
After going to a therapist, she was diagnosed with HSP. HSP stands for Highly Sensitive Person. There's a small percent of them, but it has to do with their biological minds. She is sensitive to tone, physical standing, and her environment around her. It isn't outrageously horrible, just sudden loud noises frighten her to the point she needs to lie down, and standing in a threatening way is enough to make her have an anxiety attack.
Other than that, she's a great girl. She's gotten a lot better with social interaction, is going to college to get a journalism degree while I get a math and education degree. We're moving in together after winter break and we're absolutely stoked.
I want to create a safe environment for her. One where nothing will trigger her attacks. Tips? Anyone have any experience with HPS?
** | my girlfriend is a highly sensitive person (HSP) and we are moving in together. I want to make a safe environment where no attacks are triggered (loud noises/too much change/threatening in anyway) and need advice on how to do so. |
Kierik | gaming | t5_2qh03 | t3_1joh9z | Anyone else miss the golden standard of yesteryear's, the 40 hour gameplay minimum? Remember when the reviewer industry and gamers alike would rip into developers when they would produce games that featured slightly less than 40 hours in a game? Now it seems we are comfortable with games that are 10-15 hours long and praise the developer for their good work when they gave use a game 25% the length. Now we get nickled and dimed to get the remaining length via DLC, that just a generation or two ago was the norm.
Edit | version: When did we settle for better graphics and a short game over storyline? |
throwawayOOOH | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2fe1iu | So I had oral herpes since I was little. I accidentally gave it to my ex-girlfriend genitally through oral sex. I have not been with anyone since.
It has been more than four years since I was last intimate with my ex and I have experienced no symptoms on my genitals although I did have unprotected sex with my ex (it wasn't till after the relationship ended that I found out you could catch it when there are no symptoms). I'm not sure if I have it on my genitals (I hope not), I read on the official British herpes website that if you give it to someone else you cannot catch it back somewhere else due to having antibodies in your system. I have had several cold sores on my lips however in the meantime.
I also used some out of date cold sore ointment on my lip and it had a funny reaction and now I regularly experience sore tingly lips and some discoloration; this always makes me worry about getting a cold sore, even though I don't get one (it's my whole lips not just a spot like with a cold sore).
What do I say to a new woman in my life?
I can't think of a way I can say all this without making them run away, I feel like a walking petri dish of contagious virus and it makes me feel like a disgusting repulsive person.
I feel incredibly guilty and can't bare the thought of giving it to someone else.
Any advice is welcome.
I hope you don't mind that I don't put in | as I think I kept that quite short. |
BongwaTroll | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_2fimn7 | Hi reddit,
I've come back from holiday and I notice teams moving away to Korea. Can someone | this form me I'm totally confused. Thanks. |
somechickwrote | sex | t5_2qh3p | t3_2fj2ps | So recently, my boyfriend did something while I was "sleeping". We have been talking about different things we want to try and having sex while I was sleeping came up. So one evening I pretended to be asleep and he started having sex with me, while I knew everything that was going on, and I just lay in bed and let him do everything. And I liked it! I thought it was hot. Then, the other night, we were laying in bed together and I was really tired and he said he was waiting for me to fall asleep so he could masturbate. Admittedly, I was exhausted (we have two kids and I'm a stay at home mom) and I wasn't really in the mood to do any of the work so I was fine with just going to bed and letting him fap away. But I told him to feel free to cum on me and I got naked so he'd have easy access to whichever body part he chose. As I was laying there reading, the thought kept going through my mind, and I really wanted to see if he would do it. So I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep as soon as I could. Then the next thing I know I'm waking up to him moving around in the bed to get into a good position to cum on me. And I started getting so horny. I just felt the bed shaking from him stroking it and I heard the porn he was watching and I couldn't wait for him to cum on me.
The whole time I still had my eyes closed and was really trying to make him think I was still in a deep sleep like I had been. Finally, he comes up real close to my face and starts coming and it felt so good in that moment to feel his cum going all over my face and in my hair. When he was done, he went back over to his side and grabbed a towel and put it on my head and then nudged me and tried talking to me so I could clean up. But the weird part is, even though I knew he was doing it I didn't acknowledge him. I really wanted to seem asleep! I was so into the fantasy of him doing this to me in my sleep that I slept like that all night and woke up to my face stuck to the pillow and dried cum in my hair.
When I woke up and noticed all of the evidence was still there in the morning, I got a rush of those same feelings all over again and started sexting him about it. He couldn't believe that I found it so incredibly sexy. I know that somnophilia is when you like to do things to people when they're sleeping, is it the same thing when you like to have things done to you while you're "sleeping"? Do any other ladies share this kink? Is this a rape fantasy? All I know is I want this to happen all the time. I can't get enough of it. I've left an open invitation for him to do this whenever we're in bed and no matter how hard I'm sleeping. I might even like it more to wake up with his cum on me and not even remember waking up to him doing it at all. Is this weird?
Edit: | is there a name for it when you get aroused at the thought of and from pretending to be asleep while a partner uses you for sex/as a masturbatory aide?
Edit: it seems a lot of people are upset or turned off by the fact that my SO didn't wipe my face when he was finished. I feel the need to defend him; he is a gracious lover, very respectful, and treats me wonderfully. An all around great guy. But when it comes to the bedroom, I'm his. In no way did it offend me. In fact, I would've felt turned off and awkward for him to sit there and clean me up. It was perfect in the moment and under the circumstances. It was like role playing. I wouldn't expect him to do it when neither of us necessarily wanted to. I was supposed to be dirty for him. |
pleco11 | TwoXChromosomes | t5_2r2jt | t3_2fjyk6 | Im 20 and my significant other is 23. We've been together for five years and are expecting a baby any day now.
Growing up, I never liked my dad. Well maybe a little, but only until I was about five years old and realized he was really mean. He smacked me and my siblings around a lot, is extremely racist, very critical of other people, short tempered, and unpleasant in general. My whole relationship with him consists of him doing something out of line (e.g. htting me or my siblings), me not talking to him for a period of time, him trying to make things better by buying me things, then me eventually talking to him again and everything going back to normal until he flies off the handle again. Of course when I lived with him not talking to him didn't work out.
He is definitely what I would consider abusive. I've had to call the police on him before and my brother has called CPS once, but nothing ever came of it. I tried coming out about the abuse when I was 18 and away at college for a year. My dad and I had gotten into another fight while I was home for Christmas, so I left and went to my boyfriend's house. My parents told our whole family that I had ran off, and it was then that I decided to tell them why I ran off- because of my dad's inability to control his temper. I told a few family members some specific incidents of abuse, but none of them believed me and just made remarks like "Im sure it wasn't that bad," and "your dad loves you. He wouldn't do that." My family decided that my boyfriend was putting all of this stufd into my head and ripping me away from my family, even though my boyfriend had no idea about the abuse until that Christmas break when I went to his house. He found out the same time everyone else did, and he'd never tried to convince me my parents were evil. I think my parents are in deep denial of the abuse and need someone else to blame for me disliking my dad. Well I know for a fact they are in denial because when I've brought it up in the past they always said stuff like "what are you talking about? We've only spanked you twice." And "that never happened."
There are a lot more details involved, and I will go into more depth if anyone wants me to, but the | is that my parents are abusive and always have been, and now they are blaming it on my boyfriend of five years for "tearing me away from my family" instead of taking responsibility for mistreating me and my siblings. My parents also spread blatant lies about my boyfriend, like he doesn't have a job, doesn't pay any bills, doesnt help around the house, hasnt bought anything for our daughter, etc. My entire extended family hates my boyfriend because of it, even my younger siblings. What do I do about this? How do I make it extremely clear that I have good reasons to dislike my father and my boyfriend has nothing to do with it? How should I handle random relatives who email me telling me how bad of a person my boyfriend (who they've never met) is and that my parents love me and have never mistreated me? |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2fkb1o | I'm sure most people here will disagree with me, and that's okay. I'm here for actual advice. Not "you are insecure, all guys do it, get over it." I need to know HOW to get over it and not let this bother me.
My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years. I know I'm pretty and he's attracted to me, but he always looks up naked girls. He goes on reddit gone wild, the chive, googles every naked celebrity on a daily basis. I've confronted him and I told him this bothers me and he says he will stop. Now he just hides it better.
I don't expect him to not find other woman attractive. Of course he will. But when he looks at other woman naked everyday it makes me feel really bad about myself. I feel it's disrespectful and I don't understand how so many woman are okay with it. I would never look up naked guys. My boyfriend is all I need. I feel breaking up with him over it would be stupid because I'm starting to feel all guys do this. :-( it does make me insecure and I feel like I'm not good enough. How can I get past this and learn to accept it?
** | boyfriend looks up naked woman everyday. |
[deleted] | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_2xhzhz | So today I was playing a draft game and asked for an adc role.
After I pick Lucian I notice a very nice player. He was very kind at the lobby,until we got in to the game.
He picked Shaco and went to jungle. Soon we got in to the game,he started red buff. I went to bottom lane and farmed like crazy(not like I usually do,it was the first game of the day). Didn't miss a single cs in like 6 waves or so and got the first two kills.
Nidalee was the enemy team jungler and got a kill in top lane. After that she went to my lane and she got a double kill. She was on a killing spree and Shaco was really mad at us that we died. I just ignored him,he was writing some toxic stuff.
Shaco wasn't ganking for a while and Jayce started getting mad at him too(cause he was losing his lane). So a flame war started for a small amount of time,until we won a teamfight and went to dragon. We took it and Shaco greeted us with saying 'nice'.
I stayed in botlane until the mid game,when teamfights started happening. After a couple of kills and couple of deaths,Nidalee started ganking us like CRAZY. She got 4 kills in a matter of 5 minutes. I had a normal score,which was about 5-4 and had about 140 farm in 20 minutes(I'm just silver 1,don't blame me). And then the legendary quote came in from Shaco - 'learn to farm,don't ever play adc. go jungle or top cause you suck at farming and every adc does... adc's don't need kills,they need farm.' Here's the photo:
And then I just lost it. I mean seriously,if you're bronze and you prefer farm over kills,that's completely OK and I would agree with you.But adc's... They are the MOST important role of the team,which often(if not always) leads the team to victory. If you want to climb the ladder,you should try to give the kills to the adc.
And at the end of the game I got this message:
I don't even know why did I post this,but I just can't stop laughing when I see that quote.
P.S We won that game,which resulted me backdooring.
P.S.S Sorry for my English mistakes,it's not my first language
So that's everything for the day.
* | got in a game with shaco,he was bronze. He started flaming and typed the legendary quote 'learn to farm,don't ever play adc. go jungle or top cause you suck at farming and every adc does... adc's don't need kills,they need farm'.Pic: .Which I thought it was hilarious. And got a message at the end of the game: |
quirky2000 | summonerschool | t5_2t9x3 | t3_2xjnqb | Hey guys,
Based on the feedback I got from a recent [Sejuani thread]( I decided to go ahead and make an actual guide.
Why did I make this guide? I've noticed that up until this point practically every guide out there focuses on building pure tank, which I believe wastes a lot of Sejuani's potential. I'm not advocating a full AP build a la Mister Oink, but there's definitely a middle ground that lets her shine in solo queue (just check her win rate in 5.4!).
This guide also shies away from the conventional 21/9/0 or 9/21/0 mastery setups in favour of a 0/16/14. I give more detail in the actual guide, but the | is that this setup makes your early clears a lot easier and safer.
It's my first time making a guide so it's probably a little rough around the edges. I still need to find time to record some live gameplay footage so I can give some commentary, but this should give you enough information to hit the Rift. If you have any questions, suggestions or constructive criticism please leave a comment or PM. Thanks guys! |
Prokolaz | tifu | t5_2to41 | t3_2xk2eb | Not actually me but a friend but still thought I'd share.
This weekend my choral group was on a weekend retreat to do a performance. The group had been plenty of times before but this was my first and to my surprise it was actually a four star hotel, not a hostel like I was expecting.
We got to the room and as would be expected in any four star, it had all the essentials, including a coffee/tea selection. We didn't have long before our first rehearsal but thought it would be a good idea to brew up some coffee.
This was the first fuck up.
Turns out we didn't have long enough to drink them and had to leave before finishing. The day continued and by the time we returned to our room, ten o'clock it was curfew which meant settle down and make no noise.
The coffee we made before was now ice cold so I decided to flush mine down the toilet, but my friend, no he left his.
The following afternoon we were all gathered up and questioned by the choral director:
"Were you all feeling okay last night?"
"Was anyone having any drinks (alcoholic) last night?"
Of course, I knew none of this had happened as far as I knew however the director had a look of skepticism on her face. After questioning all the boys they decided to call all the members of the room back. At this point everyone was tired and pissed off. Someone had fucked up and we were all afraid we were gonna be blamed for it.
We were sat down and told it was someone in our room had been drinking and been sick out of the window. (bare in mind we are all 14-18 year olds).
Then It came to me, I knew exactly what had happened, my friend had got up in the middle of the night and poured his coffee out of the window. Some how to the cleaning staff this looked like sick.
We explained this to the director and cleaner and luckily managed to sort it out but I was still incredibly embarassed and everyone was still pissed off.
We're now sat on the bus and I find it extremely awkward to talk to anyone, for everyone else, we've wasted their entire afternoon.
( | made coffee, didn't drink it, pissed off a lot of people) |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2xkoux | My boyfriend's favorite things include: hot tea, music/recording audio, vintage clothing, gaming for Xbox & PC, and hockey. He loves food as well, but don't we all.
If anyone could give | stories of what you did or ideas . based off that small list, please let me know.
Any and all responses are very much appreciated. |
dietpepsi100 | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2xksf0 | Hi all, as the post says, saw a co worker on a dating site. We don't know each other, just recently met during a work event. We technically work in the same department, she does clerical support in our division of about 4000 people.
Would it be weird to to talk to her on the dating site? A big part of me says it might, nobody wants to come off as creepy. But looking for other opinions.
The company is so large it's highly doubtful we'd ever even see other otherwise. When I met her I thought wow she's attractive, then happen to see her profile about a week later.
* | should I contact an in-direct co worker of mine on a dating site? |
keafirehouse88 | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2xlf6p | update #3
Hey guys! Im just looking for advice on how to cope with losing the women that I Still love. It has now officially been one month and 23 days, since I decided it would be in my best interest to move on. Unfortunately it didn't work as I planned. Originally Michelle said, she would contact me in five months to see if I'm doing well/got over loving her; however she contacted me on February 3 ( only 23 days), too talk and say hello. At this point I suffered an emotional relapse and apologized to her for cutting her off like that. The text message went like this.
Her: hey it's me your homegirl just checking up on you wanted to talk!
ME: hey it's nice to to talk again. Look I apologize for cutting you off like that. I Hope we could resume talking again ( I know this is my fault, I did really just miss her; we've been through a lot on an emotional level).
Her: yeah!! I missed you! Let's talk!
Then we go back and forth about our lives, and she tells me how she's in love with the new guy ( again I really wanted to be happy for her, I really did; but it was to hard).
So a couple of days pass by, and valentines day is around the corner. And I knew I would have some emotional problems on that day, because I hoped that we've could've gone out at the time ( unfortunately that couldn't happen); but I commited myself, too not contacting her. So on that day ( Valentine's Day), me and my boy Cory and Casey hang out and watch the NBA ALL-star game together. Unfortunately all I kept thinking about was her/ and him. Again Steph Curry, is tearing up the three point shoutout; but I couldn't even focus on it. I literally was counting down the hours, to when this holiday ended ( I actually wish I had to work on this day, UGH!!). But I think it was at this point I realized I couldn't live like this.
So over the next couple of days, ( February 15-22), I just try to gather myself emotionally;Because I now know, the way I'm living is not well at all. So on February 23, I texted her " I need to talk to you".
So at that night the conversation went like
ME: hey look, I'm happy that you're doing well in life ( at that moment I genuinely felt that); I congratulated her on finding love ( crying while I wrote that to her; but did mean it).
Her: thank you, listen we will always be friends forever!
Me: listen my mother always, told me " if you love someone you should let them go". She also said " people come into our lives for a reason, a season and a lifetime".
* At this point she probably knows what I'm thinking, so she tries to avoid it*
HER: " listen I just got in the house and I'm really tired, so love you and goodnight"
ME: " Aren't we suppose to talk"
Her: " okay"
So we FaceTime: and I basically explained that it would be best if we went our own separate ways, because of the feelings I have for her. She responded by saying " how can you just leave a friend like that" ( it was respectful, not rude or belligerent). I told her it would be best to keep us at a distance. She said she was sad; but she understood ( Plus I found out that she started talking to this guy in September; but I found out in January) So we ended it!
So now I'm in a situation, where I am still thinking about her consistently. And the emotional pain is still here. I need some advice about moving on, because this no contact stuff is very difficult to overcome.
And I want to end on this on a good note! I really do love her, and I wish her nothing but the best. I know how some people always be like " I hope it doesn't work out"; but the truth is I really do hope she finds happiness ( even though it won't be with me).
** | fell in love with a close female friend, try to make something happen; but she moved on from one guy to another. Felt it was best to go no contact, unfortunately it didn't work. Felt like valentines day sucked, because I wasn't with her. So I tried to end it permanently; however I am not dealing with this well, at all. |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2xmhzc | I've been close friends with a friend of mine for close to 7 years now and have been in love with her for years. I recently asked her out and she said yes. She said that she felt The same way. The next morning I wake up to a voicemail of her saying that she just wasn't ready. I was heartbroken. I still love her and know she feels the same about me. Am I just a hopeless romantic that is destined to be forever alone? What do I do?
[ | we love each other, but she won't take a chance. |
Pierce7d | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_2xn58i | Warning: This is a long read.)
Hello friends. I'm fresh off the rift after a mind-boggling, jarring defeat and as much as I would like to rant about it, I am going to turn my salt into something productive.
I'm sure you've all been in a similar situation: Your team is ahead, you're poised to carry, and then people just start throwing and feeding. The assassin gets cocky and tries to get kills in the Fog of War, your AD was fed but wants to try to flex their muscles by dueling the top laner, and your top laner didn't do so hot in lane, but they get a triple kill in the team fight and now charge forward at every opportunity thinking they're hot stuff all of a sudden.
Chances are, not only have you experienced these people on your team, but you've also been that person from time to time. If you want to convert these games into wins, there's a secret to doing so, but it requires team work. You need vision, and shot calling.
See, everyone worships vision, and with good reason. With vision, you're able to not walk into traps, and make plays. But vision alone does not win games. You also need successful which earn you objectives to move farther ahead in the game. For this to happen, the team needs to work together, and for this to happen, someone has to make a call.
If no one talks in your game, you have 5 people working independently, and it means even a team that is ahead can fall behind as people get picked off. Even if you're fed, you might still fall to some CC and a 3v1, so you cannot push when you have no vision. When you get ahead, it's super important to know which steps are necessarily to actually win the game, and not just blindly return to lane and push over and over again until you die.
-From laning phase, your first objectives should be outer tower and the first dragon. Outside of an early gank top, the jungler should gank whichever lane is easier out of mid or bottom which will allow that lane to start snowballing a bit. While snowballing the top laner is might be good, getting power down mid or bottom early is critical to secure that first dragon, setting up a critical win condition. Also, bottom tower is usually the first to fall, since a loss in that lane enables 2 champions to push, freeing up the map heavily for the team that drops the first tower bot. Against Melee champions mid with no waveclear, a rotation of the bot lane into mid is generally going to be the mid tower as well, and trading this away for the bottom tower is always worth it. Lastly, getting the support ahead early is key for snowballing, because once they have boots and sightstone, they can begin to set up vision so you can systematically wreck every other structure on the map.
-In the mid game, you want to pretty much just take dragons on a timer, and when dragon isn't about to come up, try and pressure outer towers until all 3 are gone. If the enemy team has strong waveclear, then let a qualified champion split push. Keep the ADC with the rest of the team. IT IS OK TO HIT THE TOWER A COUPLE OF TIMES EACH WAVE, AND SLOWLY WITTLE IT DOWN, WITHOUT DIVING IT. Tier 2 towers are much harder to seige since they received the shield buff, so make sure to deactivate the shield if you're planning on a dive. Remember, if you break the shield on the tower, then it stops shielding the champion, so just focusing the tower for a wave or 2 to set up the dive is completely acceptable if you must dive. No matter what objective you are focusing, make sure the support has wards on the map IN the area surrounding your target. If they don't already know where to ward, simply ask them nicely to ward the correct spots, and show them. If you don't know, then maybe I'll make a video guide or something later. Always make sure to keep an eye on dragon and buff timer, so that you can set up plays. In Solo Q, people are hella dumb, and if your team is willing to work together, then you can very easily just win the game off correct vision and rotations, even if someone gets fed in one lane. Always positively encourage your teammates to make sure they continue to work together with you, and make sure to keep making calls, so that they remain focused, and don't wander into unsafe locations, while still remaining productive. MAKE SURE YOUR ADC picks up BLUE Trinket, and support and jungler get sweepers. If top and mid upgrade their trinkets as well, this would be ideal.
-More on the mid game: Whenever your team gets a kill after the laning phase, you should use the following thought process: Based on which enemy died, how can my team best capitalize on this death. See, obviously the 300 gold from the kill is an excellent reward, but you should always be looking to maximize that reward as much as possible as a team, and a kill is more valuable than just the gold. When an enemy champion is dead, you are up a man, and they are missing a piece of their team comp, which means functionally, their team is weaker in a specific aspect. If the enemy support dies, it means they lose vision control, so you can take this time to go set up wards, and clear out wards. It might also mean they lose disengage, if you kill the Janna/Braum/Talisman, etc, so it might mean their ADC is exposed for a kill. If the enemy jungler dies, they no longer have Smite, so Dragon could be excellent. It's also a good time to counter jungle. Get timers on the enemy red and blue, and maybe wards as well, so you can set up another kill there, and starve them of gold and exp. If the enemy midlaner dies, it might mean it's a prime time to push down a tower. No more waveclear, or Leblanc chunking your team from the sidelines means it's time for the ADC to step up and start autoing that turret, while the team supports her. Recognizing that an enemy is dead and figuring out the maximum possible reward is super critical to winning games on the rift. Sometimes, you can't get that much of a reward off the one kill. It might just be that killing that Yi was great, but the wave isn't anywhere near the tower since he was split pushing, and you can't get a substantial reward off it. You will find that if you can motivate the team to mobilize quickly, you can often get huge rewards off simple kills, as long as everyone acts fast. Getting all your lanes pushing is a reward in itself, because it might do something as simple as let your team mobilize mid, then rotate top while setting up vision, taking top inner instead of mid inner, just because you had both lanes pushing, and that could potentially set up a pick since you dropped vision during the rotation, which might let you combo into an inhibitor tower, ETC, ETC. Even if the enemy Janna is at 20% after you killed their AD, chasing her down just might not be the best use of Sivir's death timer. Consider this every time. That doesn't mean NOT to take the kills when you can get them, but if it's between spending 25 seconds chasing Lee/Nidalee/Leblanc through the jungle to get that last sliver of health, or just getting a free Dragon because they have 1 dead and the person you were thinking about chasing is too low to contest, then just take advantage of the 5v3 and take the dragon.
-In my experience, the absolute easiest way to win a game of League of Legends where you didn't get outrageously fed, is to simply set up correct control around baron. Your control of baron is weak by default if the top and middle outer towers are still up, so make sure to pressure these down. Sometimes, if mid and bot get fed, or are winning, you might have bottom or middle inner tower down, but top tower outer might still be up. It's important to pick up that global gold, and secure that tower, making a play around baron much safer, and a chase after baron much better as well. Even if you're behind, Baron can easily turn around the game. The trick is, you don't just start hitting the baron, and hope the opponent doesn't have it warded, you properly ward and sweep the area around baron, set up a pick, and then simply wait in fog until you see enemy champions. If the area has no wards, and you can see enemies on the map, then take baron for free. If the area had wards, then you can just create pressure in mid and top, while retreating into the Fog where baron is after cleaning it, forcing your opponent to face check you after you cleaned it out. The secret to making this work is TWO OR MORE PINK WARDS from your team, so that it's very difficult for your opponent to actually get vision safely. Also, keeping an eye on the ENEMY SUPPORT'S SIGHT STONE is a very nifty, yet undone thing. Sight stone doesn't provide unlimited wards. It's only 4. If you clean out tons of wards, chances are, they have to facecheck, or the support has to back, and you can see if someone is missing when your team sets up correct vision.
-Throughout the game, there are two macro factors that you should always be thinking about. First is team comps. Observe the enemies engage tools and their objective control tools, and create plans for the team fights BEFORE they happen. For example, if the enemy team has Katarina and Fiddlesticks, then your ADC should buy QSS so that they can cleanse the fear, the support should save some CC for the Kat so that you can stop death lotus, and your tank or support should buy Aegis/Locket early. Conversely, if they have Rengar, then don't be afraid to upgrade a Sweeper Trinket early, and make sure to carry a pink to protect your team. Counterplay does exist, don't be one of those people who just does their own thing, blind to the game around them. Utilize the counters the shop provides for you. Understand how the enemy might try to engage on you, and be prepared.
-Objective Control Tools are things like Waveclear, Traps (Teemo, Cait, Shaco, Nidalee, Kalista ghoul, etc). When setting up a jungle objective like Dragon, coordinate usage of the wards and these tools to make it difficult for the opponent to approach the objective. You should never be ambushed when you are securing an objective. If your opponent is securing an objective and you don't have vision, just give it up. Dying for free makes things much worse, and with no vision, it's not going to do much to facecheck. Just push a lane and continue farming, and be prepared for next time, but take the timer on jungle objectives. You can use the time that your opponent is taking an objective to set up vision on a different objective safely, so you can pressure or trade it without dying, and possibly set up a pick.
-If the opponent has crazy waveclear, like Ziggs or Xerath, and you aren't wildly ahead, or don't have a dedicated tank, or something like that, don't think you can just 5 man push. Understand how both team comps work, and then formulate a plan around that. Setting up picks to get an assassin fed instead of focusing towers that you can't get a creep wave up to to push down might make sense, to enable you to set up a split push. There are also items like Banner of Command or the new Portal item that can set up a split push in other lanes so that even if your pressure in one lane isn't as successful, you can push down another lane. Make sure there is a clear path of vision so that your splitpusher can remain safe and not die or get ambushed for free. If the enemy doesn't have good waveclear, but they have a fed Irelia who is excellent at dueling, then don't split push, but instead teamfight and siege. Poke down the tower slowly, set up vision so you can kite back without getting ambushed and retreat into fog if necessary. Not every objective has to be a dive. Also, try to get the other lanes pushing BEFORE setting up for a siege in a lane. This will enable quick and clean rotations, so that you might snatch a free tower, set up a better pick, or even combo objectives to get a huge swing in global gold, which can help put your team ahead.
Above everything, and most important, go into each game with the mindset of WORKING WITH YOUR TEAMMATES. I promise you, you will win more games like this. If you're not making calls, but someone else is, follow their calls. It's been said many times but 5 people doing 1 sub-optimal thing is better than 1 person doing the optimal thing. Working as a team is super important to get FREE $$$$$$$$$$$$$.
I love you all. I know it's long, I did this instead of ranting about the game I just lost. There's no good | but maybe read it in pieces, since all the information is independently relevant if you don't want to sit through the whole thing. |
[deleted] | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_2xnzil | Hi there im a decently high elo player who has played this game for ages, since day 1 ive used D for flash and F for ignite/tp and so on , recently gotten a new keyboard and im planning on switching flash to F because I usually sit with my hand around S/D and so on afraid to misclicking it,
basically | how do I get used to this as easily as possible, cheers |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2xosuo | Used a throwaway cause he does some lurking. He may put two and two together anyways. So this might seem really simple and kind of a dumb question but I'd love some opinions of what I could do to show him I care and also help to get us out of this rough patch.
A little background, we dated years ago in college and have been back together for about 8 months now. Things are really great between us, we have great chemistry, we want the same things in life, we just genuinely enjoy spending time together. He is someone I could see myself spending my life with and I want to give this relationship my all.
Lately things have been a little rough, we have both been stressed with work and life in general. He recently started a new job and I'm back in school so it's been a little hectic. On top of that, we both recently moved back in with our parents to save money. We don't get to see eachother as much as we would like to because of our schedules and that definitely adds to the tension, especially for me.
We've had a few miscommunications in the past couple of months that have led to some fighting. For the most part we are good about acknowledging that we both have things to work on in terms of stress and communicating. However, I have let the stress get the best of me and a couple of our fights have blown way out of proportion. I have acknowledged this and am making an effort to not allow myself to get so worked up.
I guess I just want some feedback on what I can do on my end to make things less stressful and how I can show him how much I appreciate and love him. We are a very physical couple, so in terms of physical appreciation (back rubs, bjs, sex) we have that covered. So, guys, what are your suggestions? Things that an SO has done that have just made you melt? Women, anything you've done for your guy that he loved?
** | hit a little bit of a rough patch. Want serious suggestions on what to do to show SO that I appreciate him and that we can get through this. |
katyiam | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2xove2 | Just celebrated 1st year together. Based on the milestones we made and conversations we've had things seemed like they were headed toward a committed life together.
While out Saturday night my BF told me he doesn't want to get married and have children because it will end in divorce, him giving up half of what he has and he'll only see the kid one weekend a month
I was shocked! He, despite the stereotypes, is the one to make comments about our future children (for example: when we have children we're not going to put those annoying stickers on a minivan). I told him that was a sad outlook and feel badly that in this fictitious scenario he's ended up with such a great person who'd take his money and not let him see his kids.
Then not more than 15 minutes later he tells me I shouldn't have left my first career to return to school. His argument was "nobody's happy with what they have to do for work" and basically how dare I be so bold. He also doesn't think the investment in time will be worth what I'll make after I'm done with school. FYI we don't live together and I pay for plenty of dates, gifts, etc. So despite not making a lot I am very generous and don't take advantage.
The next morning I said, "wow, you were really honest about a lot last night," and he said, "did you ever think I just like to push your buttons?" I'm not sure he's being honest about that and why would anyone want to joke like that? Do I want to spend anymore time with someone so juvenile? Opinions please.
** | my bf dropped some bombs on em cloaked as humor |
adapter9 | changemyview | t5_2w2s8 | t3_2xpcs3 | If you look at my comment history, you'll see at least 2 or 3 instances where people called me an asshole for splitting up my replies across multiple comments. I think they considered it karma-whoring (though I have no idea why a person would do something just for the useless karma points).
I'm specifically referring to when I have multiple things to say about something, and those things have nothing to do with each other. Example: OP says "My dog is named Yellow Submarine," and I make two replies: (1) "Dog names are weird; isn't it funny how they are so rarely people names like 'Peter'? <link to Family Guy clip>", and (2) "I never understood why the Beatles made a song about a Yellow Submarine. Anybody know?"
I split up my replies because I consider it to be good reddiquette:
It allows the good parts to float to the top (via upvotes) and the bad parts to sink (via downvotes) independently.
It avoids | posts and entire threads that are only read by their two authors.
*It takes advantage of Reddit's beautiful branching structure to allow readers to follow precisely the line of reasoning they want to read, without unrelated bullcrap.
Please leave the footnote below the following line, but remember to delete this sentence by replacing it with the body of your post. Thank you!
> Hello, users of CMV! This is a footnote from your moderators. We'd just like to remind you of a couple of things. Firstly, please remember to [read through our rules]( If you see a comment that has broken one, it is more effective to report it than downvote it. Speaking of which, [downvotes don't change views]( If you are thinking about submitting a CMV yourself, please have a look through our ** [popular topics wiki]( first. Any questions or concerns? Feel free to **[message us]( Happy CMVing!* |
Itswhatwas | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2sdigr | i very dearly adore my husband, he's my whole world. We were teen sweethearts got married right out of high school. We have a good life, beautiful home, im a sahm to perfect kid in the best school in the area... Etc etc..
This is the life I wanted on paper.
My husband however is hostile towards me, I don't know what he wants he thinks all my hobbies and crafts are stupid, he thinks the vacations I want are dumb, he goes on trips by himself (hunting/fishing) it seems he hates me. I ask him what I did I ask what can I do, he wants to have another baby, I do too but I feel we fight to much. He isn't a living husband or father, he's never taken my son out just the two of them, he doesn't put any interest in my son, wasn't excited about his first day of school.
I have explained to him, very clearly I need more affection and he says he can't that I should find someone else.
So now I am thinking of getting divorced thinking of calling lawyers finding a job where to live, however because things are technically peaceful at home and we are still having sex (mostly safe sex) and I still make his lunch and he still pays all the bills, I feel like we may work thru it.
But I can't shake the feeling that I could possibly be wasting my time waiting for what's never going to happen. I like being a wife I love being a wife, I love serving my man, my hobbies are actually pretty cool. I haven't met one person who didn't at least ask to see my art, I'm pretty popular in my area. My son is pretty popular he played baseball last year and my husband didn't make it to a single game or practice.
I want my husband to share in the moment with me, enjoy the experience of our life, I want a husband who coaches my sons team I want a husband that values me that finds me interesting enough to have a conversation with me.
My question is - to those who broke up a relationship while still in love with the other person how did you get thru it? Despite all that my husband has put me thru, I still honor and love him
** | my husband is despondent but has given me a good life, I still love him and I'd feel guilty initiating a divorce, however he has a 'hate-my-life-listen-to-goth-woe-is-me" attitude and its bringing me down. |
California106 | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2seo8c | My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months and he's 16 too. His bestfriend is a girl, and before we started dating I was kinda worried about their friendship because people have spread rumors that they've done sexual stuff together, and I don't know if I feel comfortable letting my boyfriend have a female bestfriend. They've been friends for years and ever since we started dating she is being mean to me. I didn't really know her before since she's a grade above us but she was never mean to me before.
She gives me dirty looks in the hall and stuff and she would do stuff like, purposely approach my boyfriend while I'm there and ask him if he wants to hang out with her after school or something like that and it makes me sooo angry. A few times when theyve been in the hall and I walk by them she will literally put her hands on him, like if its hugging him or something like that or even grabbing his hand, or she acts flirty to him. All this went on throughout the entire time we've been dating but last night I went through my boyfriends phone kind of and I found something I wish I didnt see.. She was texting him telling him he should break up with me and stuff. He was like brushing her off and telling her to stay out of his relationship and she just kept saying that stuff. I feel like she is trying to take him from me and i get really jealous of her and i just want them to stop being friends. she has always hated me from the second i started dating him and i didnt do anything to her. Why is she like this :/ What can I do...
** | my boyfriend's bestfriend tries flirting with him infront of me and does stuff to purposely make me jealous, i feel like she's trying to take him from me. |
SuspendLoL | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_2sfbdr | Hello, I'm Jordan. I'm an avid gamer who has a deep interest in most fps games, and a few mobas.
I live near a hospital called Nortans Children's Hospital. It isn't like most hospitals. It has gaming systems in every room so while sick kids are in the hospital they have at least something to keep them sane and give them company.
But | the hospital is currently raising money for the kids. If you would like to donate I would appreciate it more than anything. All funds go directly to the cause.
I didn't see this neglecting the rules, thanks for your time. Also, anyone can add me on league!! "Goth Annie Mid" |
[deleted] | tifu | t5_2to41 | t3_2sfss4 | This was a fuck up I never thought would happen. It seemed like such a simple thing, and I didn't know how bad it would get.
I have been dating a girl for a few weeks, things progressed pretty quickly into the infatuation, spending all time with each other phase. It was like I blinked and woke up in love with her. I'm talking head over heels in love with this girl.
Well there was a problem, her parents were very religious, believed heavily in courtship, so she was very worried to tell them about me. She finally told them Tuesday, and we had plans to meet each other on Sunday.
We would text all day, which was hard because I spent all day at work with my phone in my hand. I had been using Google Hangouts to talk to co-workers since I started at my job (systems engineer here) so me and her started using that to talk.
I was on the way to her sisters condo (sister was out of town) to hang out with her, and when I knocked on the door, guess who answered....
Her dad.
That went about as expected.
Well it turns out, she had logged into her Google account on his phone the day before to upload some videos of her singing at a coffee shop to her youtube, and she had never logged out.
So he spent the entire day receiving every message sent back in forth between us, and ended up showing up exactly as I did to catch her in the act, leaving me terrified of what would happen.
Sorry for the wall of text, but the | is I started messaging my girlfriend on hangouts, and her dad was logged into her account the whole time, catching us in the act. |
gooddaysahead | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2sg9hv | So I've been in this relationship for 4 years. I love her and wanted to marry her but lately we have been arguing a lot. If we aren't arguing there's just a long cold lonely silence. We almost never have sex anymore.
This is what happens when it comes to sex... Last week for instance I wanted to have sex and she wanted to as well setup we do our thing. When she "got hers" I was left high and dry. It happens a lot. I don't understand why. I do my job and please her but she hardly reciprocates the same for me.
Last night for my birthday she got me nothing not did anything other than saying happy birthday to me. When it was bed time she took off her clothes from the waste down and I took off my clothes. She gets me by the you know what and I was excited because it's rare. Anyway this stuff went on for a while me kissing her body. But when I tried to touch her down there she moved in such a way to let me know that she didn't want it and that wasn't gonna happen. I moved my hand to her breasts over her shirt. And tried kissing her on the neck and lips. She pushed my hand away and turned her head. So I just stopped right then and there.
I don't understand. I'm probably not the most handsome guy around but I do take care of my self. I am 5'11 and 175 lb. I'm inn good shape. I brush my teeth and shower before I make any advances ever. She makes me feel so rejected and unloved. I feel like a disgusting slob. And I strive to be the opposite of that.
When we first started it was like she always wanted to give oral or anything else. She would make me pull my car over just to mess around. Now when it comes to sex she has this attitude like, let's just get this over with.
I know that I'm a little large and it can hurt her so I do try not to cause pain. In the beginning she called it good pain. I usually let her go at her pace. More often than not I'm left disappointed.
Lately we try for sex about once every week our two. And 90% of the time she will do something to push me away. When she sees that I gave up, she will play stupid and ask what's wrong.
Today I asked her if she knew why I was upset with her last night and she said yes. She said she always knows when that happens that it will push me away. So today did I learn that she does it on purpose? Why would she find joy in hurting me?
On new years she took off in my car and left me at a friend's house. 5 minutes before the count down. I was the only person without a mate there. It caused a huge fight.
When I ask her if she wants to end the relationship She says she wants to fix our relationship but I think that's bull. If she wanted to fix us she wouldn't do this shit to me.
( | my gf rejects me and pushes me away and claims to want too keep the relationship going. What should I do?
Sorry for typos. Thanks for any advise |
rostun | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_2shq2g | Context: I was playing a normal game with a friend as malphite top against nid for the first time and I have to admit, even though nid dc'd for a long while, I was still getting my butt kicked. :/ I asked my friend, who was the jungle, for ganks but he was reluctant to gank for me and never really got around to doing it. It's not the first time he's avoided top lane like the plague. I later asked him why he always seems to forgo ganking for top lane and this is the reason he gave me:
He said he didn't like ganking top lane because usually it's a tanky champion. Tanky champions deal out less damage, therefore less chance in securing a kill. Why go top when you have a better chance at gaining an advantage by ganking for mid and bottom?
I guess also mid and bot are closer to dragon plus it's awesome when either gets fed. However, obviously when one is not doing well, they always wish the jungle was there to help them out a little.
but anyways, | question. |
Mynotoar | changemyview | t5_2w2s8 | t3_2sjru2 | Edit: I evidently haven't thought this through very much, and my argument is criticising the wrong group of people. I think the bulk of my argument is a knee-jerk reaction to Tumblr-folk who misuse the term "trigger" to mean being offended or not happy about a trivial thing. I recognise that this is clearly not the same thing as a genuine trigger, for someone who has been through PTSD or suffered a genuine trauma.
If people are unclear on terms, a "trigger warning" is a quick notice given before a speech, video, body of text etc., warning the audience that its content may trigger certain traumatic memories. For example, if a video talks about rape, it might have a trigger warning so that victims of rape can avoid it if they want to avoid painful recollections.
I don't think this is healthy, and should not be encouraged as a practice. The victim of a trauma is always, eventually, going to come across stimuli that might be "triggering", it's not the responsibility of society to avoid giving those stimuli. They might end up studying rape in psychology, or law, or ethics, or a variety of classes. Should the professor start his class with "By the way, today we're going to be talking about rape, and if anyone's uncomfortable with that, you're welcome to stay out of the class"? No; there are potentially infinite possible things that could trigger a person, and a
professor shouldn't be expected to account for all of them.
Some considerations. Firstly, if the lecturer was showing something that would reasonably upset a lot of people (violence, abuse, suicide etc,) then yes, please put a notice at the start of a class. Secondly, I think the professor in this situation should be accommodating, and if a student specifically approaches or emails him about content they find uncomfortable, then the professor ought to make accommodations within reason.
But, it's not the professor's job to foresee any possible triggering content - picture the sort of people you find on /r/TumblrInAction who are triggered by trees. I'm being silly, of course, but some people can't tolerate things that most people are perfectly okay with, and when that's the case, the person shouldn't expect teachers, friends and family to accommodate for them.
And if a psychology student came up to the professor in the scenario and told him she found the Millgram experiment disturbing and didn't want to see any content relating to it, then the professor is entitled to raise eyebrows as to why the student is taking the class.
I've perhaps not worded the argument very coherently, so, | people with triggers shouldn't expect people to accommodate their behaviour, and should learn to deal with those stimuli.
> Hello, users of CMV! This is a footnote from your moderators. We'd just like to remind you of a couple of things. Firstly, please remember to [read through our rules]( If you see a comment that has broken one, it is more effective to report it than downvote it. Speaking of which, [downvotes don't change views]( If you are thinking about submitting a CMV yourself, please have a look through our ** [popular topics wiki]( first. Any questions or concerns? Feel free to **[message us]( Happy CMVing!* |
loyal_girl_420 | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2sk7ks | my boyfriend is very insecure and has trust issues, he says he trusts me but jumps to conclusions and makes assumptions.
For instance yesterday we were chatting online and I was really hungry and had to leave for food and walk half an hour there and back because thats how far the closest shopping centre was and when I got back he asked me to send him a photo of my pussy and I was hot and sweaty and didn't really feel like it after that walk so said no and he jumped to the conclusion that i had gone on a date with another guy and he had cum in me and I didn't want to take a photo so he could see the evidence.
He admits how crazy these thoughts are but he says he cant stop thinking them after being lied to and cheated on in the past by people, he is also overseas on a holiday and thats making it worse.
He logged onto my facebook the other day too because it said I was online but I wasn't and didn't reply to his message, he said he got anxiety and thought i was talking to another guy, he told me straight away that he did and was ashamed of himself for logging into my account and he wants to stop doing these crazy things. How do we work through this?
(other than this he is the sweetest kindest guy I have every met) he also never gets angry, just sad when he makes these assumptions.
** | bf acts crazy and accuses me of cheating when im not, he realises he is acting crazy. |
throwaway_542542 | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_319a19 | I'm sorry but this is going to be quite long, I just hope someone reads it and can help me out a little bit. A little back story: My girlfriend has been friends with this kid for years. I'm talking, they have close to 10 years of history. For the last ~2 or so of that, they were dating, and they broke up a while ago, a few months before I got with her.
Soon after I met her, I fell head over heels for her, she was the most beautiful and amazing girl I had ever met and I knew that whatever she had, I wanted to be a part of it. I love her. I'm not going to go into the reasons why, but I know that with everything within me, I love her. And she told me first, so I know that I mean a lot to her, too.
I didn't know about her history when we first got together, but after about a month or so, she told me about him and their history. I decided that, they're friends, they've been really good friends for years, so as long as they're able to move past the relationship that they had and just go back to being friends, what right do I have to ask her to kick him out of her life, right? He was nothing but trouble though. We started dating in November. He had always been a sore spot for discussion between us, because he still was crazy about her, they talked all the time and shit and it was just really...I dunno, it didn't look good.
Anyways, I walked into her room this one day, and on her computer, on Facebook, is this long ass fucking paragraph to him riddled with hearts and shit, telling him that she loves him and is sorry that she's been distant lately and all this other stuff. Obviously, I was pissed. I confronted her, asked her what the fuck was going on. I don't remember exactly what was said, but the conclusion boiled down to this: he needs to be out of her life if she wants there to be any hope of us having a future, which she agreed to doing when Christmas break came up and she goes home. When she went home for Christmas, she saw him again, first in a friend group setting then alone (which I didn't know about). I went down to her house and saw her, she told me that she was going to tell him, but when she was going to he just unloaded to her about his family and she didn't want to make that worse for him. So I told her: "Either do it, or I"m leaving. There's no way around it, for as long as he plays that big of a part in your life, I won't be there." After a long night and a lot of talking, we agreed that when we get back it'll happen.
SO. We got back, she lied about it about 3 times, saying that she did it when instead she didn't do it at all. She called him on skype, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, and instead of saying she's going to do what she did do, she just told him she loved him, all this other shit. But she told him she stopped talking to him, and I trusted her, I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
A week later, she had me do something on her computer while she was in class. I was curious; I checked her Skype. And what I found..I was devastated. 3 months's worth of messages saying she loves him, she misses him, she can't wait to see him, things along those lines. And that day when she called him to tell him she was cutting him out of her life? Yeah, that didn't happen. I checked, it was a bunch of messages like the rest. I told her I saw them all. I went to class, and when we both came back I started to pack my shit. She stopped me, we had a long, LONG discussion. I told her: "Tell him right fucking now that he needs to be out of your life. Block him on EVERYTHING. He absolutely WILL NOT be a part of your life anymore, not after everything. Or I will leave right now. She cried, told me she loved me, she agreed that it's what needs to be done, and in short, she did it. I read over everything, watched her block him, and that was that, right? Wrong.
Sort of | for the first 3 months of our 4 month relationship, she was more or less retaining a relationship with her ex.
Here's where it gets tricky...she still loves him, he was her first love. I understand that, I understand that she still cares for him and misses him, she dated him for 2 years and they've known each other for 10, she'd have to be a psychopath not to. And he's still absolutely crazy over her, and I can't blame him. The biggest problem is, they live in a small town 5 minutes away from each other and have the same friend group, and she refuses to change some of her habits. For instance, during July 4th her friend has a lake house and her, my girlfriend, a mutual friend, and her ex all go for a weekend. Is it wrong of me not to want her to go to that?
I told her that I understand that they're still going to run into each other because of how small her town is but is it wrong of me that, even though they have the same mutual friends, to ask her not to go somewhere that he will be, to not associate herself with him even in a group setting? I'm at a loss, I don't know what to do, I kind of need some help with all of this. Please, if anyone has read down to this far, please answer those questions, what do you think I should do? Thank you for reading, any advice you can give me about all of this is very, very much appreciated. |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_31d5qx | so a year ago, my dad lost almost all his money to gambling on the stock exchange. He never told us this until he decided to put our house up for sale.
My mother wanted a divorce at the time and there would be fights, without a doubt. However. I would always stay back and not say much, but my mom started to tell me that I wasn't being a man and that I needed to stick up for her and physically stop my dad. i turned from a quiet boy into a over aggresive person overnight just to protect my mom.
A few months later, we moved out together because of financial issues, and my dad was acting up again. But this time instead of physically stopping my dad from doing anything stupid to my mom. My mom told me to bring his things out and kick him to the curb.
Fastforward just over a year, the conversations with my mom still end up in fights and i often regret even yelling and punching my dad. And the part where he cried to me like a baby when i brought his stuff out onto the curb still lingers in my mind.
Honestly, i don't know what to do with my situation with my mom. I told her i'm trying not to be mad all the time but she's saying im always yelling at her on purpose. Now shes trying to kick me out asap.
** | parents had a divorce. Mom told me to physically intervene my dad and yell at him. My yelling and overaggressive actions continue today. Don't know how to fix my relationship with my mom. |
ZAnderson7 | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_4mdn9p | Hi all, this is the first time I've ever posted in this sub-reddit and I'm desperately looking for some advice!
My best friend and I have known each other from the start of our time at university (Sept 2012). We grew closer and closer together as we felt our course was very cliquey and we were amongst the few who lived at home during university and didn't move out so couldn't really participate in the night life scene (don't stay at home for uni - stupidest decision ever!). Anyway over time we felt that we had a lot in common in terms of interests and we shared similar values too. We were informally known as the "bro-couple" and "bromances" and were often together. Whilst we come from different backgrounds (I'm from a more middle class and religious background whilst his family isn't as religious and he was the first of his family to attend university) we became best friends over time. During our 3rd year of university he went on a year abroad and was worried that we'd drift apart; I assured him that this won't be the case and thankfully it wasn't. We'd whatsapp every other day at least and skype weekly and I'd often see him when he came back. This academic year has been busier and more intense so we haven't seen each other daily and we are on different modules too. I felt that occasionally when he was stressed he needed alone time so I'd leave him to it for a few days; he seemed to appreciate it.
We've just returned from a holiday abroad to celebrate the end of exams. During the holiday we disagreed over a few things and had a few minor arguments as is usual on a holiday when you're with the same person for 24 hours for a few days. We had one mundane argument over the concept of "masculinity and violence" (stupid thing I know but I'm too deep a thinker sometimes :/) which became a little heated (I felt that it was strictly a social construct but he took a more traditional approach of masculinity) and I accidentally and in the heat of the moment mocked his accent as if gearing up for a "fight". He was obviously angry and I instantly regretted what I said and apologised. He just said don't talk don't talk. I was guilty and told him it was something that was just said. He later said it was ok and that's it. I still felt guilty about it and it's something I should never have said.
Yesterday I briefly ran into him and we spoke briefly about general things. I then messaged a funny tweet I saw later in the day but received a very very strange message in return. He said he wants a "break" from our friendship because he thinks I need to "figure some things out" (he repeatedly says I'm too idealistic and naive about life and relationships) and I'm trying to "mask things" (I come from a religious background so when I "sin" I don't exactly tell people - I don't want to influence them; I told him I wanted to look for a girlfriend and maybe have some fun clubbing etc but he seemed upset I never confided in him before). Coming from a background like mine, if I "sin" and I know that I shouldn't do something I don't tell anyone unless it pertains to them. He wanted me to re-evaluate priorities and he values "total honesty" - but I don't get it. I should be entitled to keep some things 100% to myself. It's not as if I'm telling others and not him (where he has a right to be offended) but he still does. It's not the fact that i will be "judged religiously" as he's not that religious it's just that I feel on principal that I should be allowed to keep somethings strictly to myself if they involve no one else.
The worst part by far was the fact that it was done via whatsapp. It was a long message he sent me. I replied by telling him it made no sense (it came out of the blue!!!) and I'm deeply angry that someone who I was arguing with about being a "pussy" if a man doesn't hit someone, doesn't say all this to my face when I saw him 2 hours earlier (I didn't say this to him like that I just said you should've called me to say that and he agreed) . I had to ask him for clarification so we could call. He's entitled to his own opinion but for someone that prides himself on being "blunt and straight" that's a terrible thing to do. Face up to someone if you have an issue.
We spoke on the phone for 30 minutes. It was uncomfortable; he said I'd changed (fair enough we all do, and that wasn't his grievance) but that I wasn't being transparent with him. I repeated the fact that there were some things that I'd told him I had not told others - ever. There were many silences from his end and he repeated the fact that he was "there for me" and "loves me" and said he only wanted to do this as he was beginning to dislike me but still??
It's easy to drift apart from someone tactfully for a limited time (especially in the summer when people are pre-occupied with other things and catching up with family and friends and home) and I pointed this out to him but he was silent. He mentioned the thing I said and how that deep down it rankled with him as it was that I "implied that i'm better than him" (I can see why he thought that and he has a right to be upset but I pointed out that why on earth would I emotionally invest so much in an individual for 4 years nearly but have an arrogance complex?). After I said that he struggled to respond.
He said it's for his own good which is fair; but it should be done tactfully. To be honest I'd barely see him over the summer. He could have tried to drift away for a short while without me even noticing that much as our friendship is seemingly strong enough to last even if we don't talk everyday.
He still says he cares for me deeply and I have no reason whatsoever to doubt him but this hurts. It's unnecessary and I'm very unhappy. I'm blessed to have a lot of friends but this one is my closest so it means more.
I came top realise we both have different values this year; I am far more of a "diplomat" he is far more "blunt say it how it is" so he'd sometimes complain about things i'd personally feel he shouldn't as I understand the other side.
This sort of thing has never actually happened to me before. in 22 years I've never had a "break" with a friend or properly fallen out with anyone. The friendships that no longer exist between people are more the fact that we "drifted apart" as opposed to having fallen out. I'm not a confrontational person and I tend to avoid arguments unless they're totally necessary.
Any advice on what to do? How to approach this break? Anything like this ever happened to you and how did you deal with it?
This is so long so apologies to those reading it but thank you so much in advance for any help and advice! :) x
edit: | best friend wants a break from our friendship and comes out of the blue and I'm upset and confused as hell |
P1emonster | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_4to287 | Taking choosing your team comp effectively one step further, if after we lock in a champion, or select it as intended the shop window comes up and gives you the option to choose an item you're probably going to build.
display: potentially a small portrait of the item in the bottom left of your champion portrait
-examples:
Know when your illaoi is going to fulfil the tanky role for your team by selecting dead man's plate or if she's going ham with a black cleaver
Whether your zyra support is going to support your team with a sightstone or if she's getting a liandry's
Whether the shaco on your team is going ad or ap
Whether your Lucian is going for an early spike with yomuus or late game with an I.E
Etc.
Benefits: knowing what role your team members are going to fulfil before the match will give you an opportunity to evaluate whether the members of your team are going meta or not, amount of ap/ad/tank/utility, as well as the amount of split push/pick/kite/sustain/team fighting will be provided by your team. This will give your team a better understanding of where your strengths are, where to focus pressure/ganks and what to set up for in mid game.
This will also give newer players an opportunity to understand how a core build/items affects the outcome of the comp as a whole.
- | option to show what item is core to your intended build at champion select let's you decide what to choose to compliment the team comp in terms of champion selection and your own core items. |
Babyblues21 | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_4d9h4x | I apologize in advance redditors, this post has been perhaps a long time coming and the issue im dealing with is complex ( at least to me)...
I'm currently married with a daughter and studying biomedical engineering. I returned to school specifically for this degree. It was everything I thought I wanted. I've always loved bio and tissue engineering in particular excited me. I was that kid in high school that was in hosa, got their CNA, and was always carrying around a bio book as a fun read.
Instead of going to school I ended up joining the work force due to economic / familial issues at the time. But then I found this degree and went for it, with my husbands and families support.
It's been a year with 2 left and I'm miserable. The course plan amazingly requires next to no bio or chem. it's all EE and mechE and Programming. My schools program is an oddity in this regard, and there is some worry now that the program is under review for ABET accreditation that it might not get it because of how different it is.
I'm currently looking at the classes I have to take next semester and am dreading all except for the one that has to do with my bio minor I picked up to keep myself sane. If I happen to fail an upper level math class this semester ( which is possible but not certain as of yet) I can't even take the courses I will need for my major and will have my graduation pushed back a full year due to when classes are offered.
I'm just tired, worn out, disheartened. The classes all expect so much outside of class time that has to be done at school ( projects galore, circuitry hw, programming that has to be done in specific software my computer can't run) and I can't always do it all because I have my daughter when I'm not in school.
Now for the relationship part. I am terrified to change my major to bio because my dad has been so proud of me doing this degree. He has been supportive financially and other ways that he wasn't for the rest of my life. I feel like if I tell him I can't do this or even worse that I just don't want to he will be beyond disappointed in me.
My husband thinks I'm just miserable because I hate the courses and agrees something needs to change but as I contemplate telling my dad it literally gives me an anxiety attack.
I know the reasons I want to change my major: that I love bio, that it comes naturally to me, that I am interested in it, plus I could be done in a year ( I only need 4 more specified courses and 3 electives to be finished). In the end it would be cheaper and shorter and so much more enjoyable. But then again the employability sucks unless I go premed , the educator route or go on to get my masters.
To compound all of this I feel like my family life is on hold. We want another child, we want to buy a home, even something as simple as getting a pet are things we've dreamed about for some time and are things we can't do until I'm out of school especially with this degree.
I just don't know what to do or how to approach my father about this and with registration looming I'm panicking... Help
** | having major identity crisis and don't know how to broach my father about changing my future plans without breaking his heart/ making him think less of me . |
Treyst7 | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_4dayn2 | So I'm 18 and my gf is 19 and we've been together for over a year and idk if I'm truly happy anymore. We went through a couple months in the middle of our relationship that was very bad and then it's gotten better ever since then.
I tell her I love her and everything but I know this isn't true love and she's way more in love with me than I am with her.
I'm about to graduate college and go to a college with over 30,000 students. Should I stay with her because she's a good person and a good Christian and she's good for me but I'm not truly in love and don't see a future with her, or breakup and enjoy the next few years.
If I should breakup with her, how do I go about it because we haven't been fighting or anything so I need advice.
** | dated a girl over a year not truly in love but she's a great person. Do I breakup with her or not? |
nothisispatrickeu | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_ry011 | i cant stand playing with those people anymore.
it just feels like for every retard i report, 2 new retards join my next game.
i have had a really long streak of good players to play with, who were playing to have fun. i could be calm in games, just chill and have a good time regardless of the outcome.
then suddenly the times change, i am forced to play blind pick because i cant play ranked right now and let´s be honest, draft normal for solo queue is terror.
and all i see is flamers, ragers, quitters, feeders.
i have played 3 games today, summary as follows:
first game i play renekton top, lose the lane vs taric and AD lulu, get flamed to fucking oblivion. i only went 1-3-0 in the laning phase, while our ziggs mid fed 0/7. our bot lane was mundo singed vs soraka graves, they went 1/7 total.
second game i play renekton top vs shyvana, level 3 i have to base because my game laggs out, udyr comes, pushes my lane to shyvana´s tower and then leaves, i am 2 full levels behind. i go 0-3-0 in laning phase, die once out of stupidity (and i actually said "sorry team, bad play" and got flamed) and twice because shaco ninja ganked from sidebush (i had frozen the lane).
my team (ap soraka mid, udyr, ap teemo and lulu bot) proceed to flame me (with the exception of teemo, he just AFKed at baron for 10 minutes "practicing how to be a ward") for losing the game for them.
remember, i was 0/3, our team was 4/18 by that point.
game 3 i play lee jungle, i start red, gank mid immediately and force egg on the enemy anivia. at the same time shyvana top dies, and goes "/all GJ LEE NO HELP TOP OMG"
she died 1on1 vs urgot. she had started doran´s blade.
she then proceeded to flame me for never ganking, i told her im not ganking because she flames me. then our GP starts flaming me for kill-stealing (i saved him with W from cait ult, then killed the enemy sona).
our tryndamere leaves at 13 minutes (score 0/4/0)
i end the game 9/9 with a team score of 17/44
the last 3 posts of ingame chat were :
GP: "noob lee, lost us the game"
shyv : "BG NOOBS I REPORT YOU"
enemy vayne : "gg easy noobs"
so basically, 3 games, including 1 afk, 1 leaver and a shitload of flame
i dont even have any more words for this. wtf is this?
i just dont know how to deal with those people anymore.
i could just disable chat, but that doesnt make it better for me, because i need to make calls and stuff, blind pick people dont know how to play the game obviously.
i do my tribunal cases every single day, just because i hope that it makes the community a little better.
(and then i see even more retardedness in players)
but somehow i feel like people have started to notice they can behave like total assholes forever and the chance of being punished is minimal.
plus, even IF you get punished, its like 2 days.
i dont think this sort of punishment hurts.
i used to be an active CS:S player in the ESL ladder, and i remember that, to play ladder games, you needed to access a "trusted player" membership, by sending in a copy of your ID.
if you didnt send in your ID, you could not play ladder games.
IMO this would be a really good thing to have on LoL since it would give the game more transparence, give the players more credibility and multi-accounting would be severely harder to do, thus nobody could just play 2 days on a smurf acc after being banned for actíng like a total jackass for 4 months.
plus, IMO riot needs to man up.
first ban, 2 weeks.
second ban, permanent.
simple as that.
(maybe after you go 6 months without being banned for 2 weeks you can reset the counter so your next ban will be 2 weeks again. or maybe include a way to pay for getting your accout unbanned, so the greed can be satisfied.)
they might lose some players, but gain a lot of support just because the community would be a whole lot better.
less trolls, ragers and flamers.
people would need to behave.
** | read the wall of text)
-there needs to be more transparence concerning accounts.
riot needs to stop being so afraid of perma-banning people. nobody misses ragers.
please people, DO YOUR TRIBUNALS EVERY DAY :)**
EDIT: first couple of games normal draft were good, i got flamed for not banning warwick, then ended up winning the lane hard against him so it was all good. im fine ^^ |
StosselsWeedstasche | politics | t5_2cneq | t3_ry0p3 | This guy has been registering on my Richter scale recently. And due to all the credit card offers I get out of Salt Lake City I think he has a chance for the long haul.
So, reddit, please give me a short | about Romney's views on the war on terror so I can continue being fat, lazy, and american, voting based on arbitrary facts from random pundits. patriotism. |
SAKUJ0 | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_ryhds | Take any (spammable) nuke as an example.
If you have r cool down reduction, your remaining cool downs will have 100% - r of their original cool down timer. This cool down reduction will make you use your abilities 1 / ( 100% - r ) as many times.
If you are not into mathematics, here is what this means:
If you have 1/3 CDr, your abilities have 2/3 of their CDs, making you use your abilties 3/2 = 1.5 as many times.
If you could have 1/2 CDr, your abilities would have 1/2 of their CDs, making you use your abilities 2/1 = 2.0 as many times.
If you could have 90% CDr, your abilities would have 10% of their CDs, making you use your abilities 1 / 0.1 = 10.0 as many times.
If you could have 100% CDr, your abilties would have 0% of their CDs, making you use them infinitely more often.
It is funny how I never noticed this before. I only knew what 100% CDr would mean but I never considered how it really was between 100% and 0% CDr.
What does this mean practically? Let us analyze buying 15% CDr: First with 0% CDr and then with 25% CDr.
The first case increases ability cast speed from 1.00 to 1.18. This is 18% more abilites.
The second case increases ability cast speed from 1.33 to 1.67. This is 25% more abilities.
This is also the reason why cool down reduction is hard capped. The original cool down length does not play a role in this.
Edit | is title. The last paragraph will give you some numbers to get a feeling for this. |
SabineLavine | TwoXChromosomes | t5_2r2jt | t3_s0js6 | I had a hysterectomy in 2004, but kept my left ovary and tube so I wouldn't be thrown into premature menopause. Prior to that I had chronic pain from endometriosis for about 8 years. After the surgery I felt great, and that lasted until recently.
A year or so ago, I started having what I thought was a kidney infection on the left side. I had pain, frequent situation, nausea, and serious fatigue. Nothing came up on my urine test, but doc gave me antibiotics anyway. They didn't help much, but I felt better for awhile. After that, the same symptoms came up every so often, but because nothing came up on tests, I just tried to deal with it.
About six weeks ago, I started having pretty bad pain in my left side and back, and the fatigue was awful, plus I had to pee a lot, and I had this weird bloating. My stomach looked like I was 6 mo pregnant, and it felt like a water balloon when I pushed on it. I'd never had bloating that felt that way, and all of this lasted 3 weeks or so. Now it's all back and worse than ever, and tonight I found out that all this stuff matches the symptoms of ovarian cancer.
It might sound like I'm a hypochondriac, but if anything I'm the opposite. Regardless, I know my body and something is very wrong. I really need to see a doc, but I don't know how that's gonna happen without insurance, not to mention I'm broke as a joke.
Sorry for the | but I had to get this off my chest. I'm nervous as hell right now. ;-( |
[deleted] | dating_advice | t5_2s4kl | t3_1bi7g2 | Hi there,
First of all, thanks for reading this. I could use all the help I can get
So let's start, these past few months I've gotten really close to this girl I work with who has a boyfriend (to the point of not having communicated for less then a day, and her telling me stuff she doesn't tell her boyfriend). At first I didn't see anything in her but that started to change.
I told her about this and she was surprised. She told me she didn't feel that way, and wanted to stay friends, and I thought that was that.
The next day she came up to me, and told me she was having a hard time dealing with this and told me she cared more about me then she cared to admit and told me she didn't only like me as a friend and that she needed to think.
A week of uncertainty went by and she decided to stay with him. ''Fine'' I thought and carried on.
Then, yesterday, she sent me a message asking for advice because her boyfriend noticed she has gotten distant in the past 2 weeks. She also told me how she rather would want to be with me on saturday night (as a friend I thought she meant) but how that would make her feel even more guilty. She then told me she felt guilty already because she felt like she was lying when he asked whether she liked someone else too.
We talked all night all night and the next dat she went to her boyfriend and apparently everything went well and she told me that, if this went like this, they were gonna make it.
So | she corrected herself three times, about liking me more then a friend, but then proceeds to go to her boyfriend, each and every time.
Now, the really weird thing is that she came up with this plan to have dinner together tonight. Why would she want that when she has no interest? |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_1bjrvz | Two years ago, I asked my significant other to end all his friendships with platonic females. We were both 22 years old at the time. I asked him because cheating has happened twice in my past relations where my exes would cheat on me with their female friends; I just didn't want it to happen again since I am with this nice guy. I was stupid, felt insecure and as the nice guy he was... He listened and did that for me. I became his best friend and only friend. The reason is because all his guy friends stopped being friends with him once they found out he stopped being friends with the females.
Now, his old platonic female friend he knew for 8 years is trying to reconnect. My bf has forgiven me for doing what I asked of him... Still, I feel terrible. What to do? How should he reconnect with all of his other female friends?
<b> | b> I made my bf end all his friendships with females that he did not show interest in, nor did they like him. |
Kiwispam84 | AskWomen | t5_2rxrw | t3_1blo6v | We read a lot here about the subtle things guys do that turns women on- how about the opposite? I don't mean big, obvious things like "turns out he's a total jerk", or "burped in my face" but smaller, more specific things we can try to avoid.
EDIT: | for this thread- Learn how to speak and spell, keep clean, and be kind to people and animals. I think I can handle that. |
neve_rmore | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_3fu9l3 | My name is Neve and I live in Texas and my boyfriend lives in Georgia.
I met this guy online around mid-January. I was in a relationship at the time that was very unhealthy and abusive and Bobby, my current boyfriend, helped me through the tough times I was going through with my ex.
Finally I ended things with Justin, my ex, and moved onto Bobby because he treated me so special. He told me ever since he saw me he knew I was "the one." He's bought me so many things and I haaaaate when men buy me things because I'm more of an emotional person than a materialistic kind of girl. But he bought me a 4,000 dollar ring (he's wealthy) because he said he was for sure that we're going to get married.
A lot of people I tell about our story disapprove of the relationship because they think the way we handle it is "creepy" since we fell so hard so fast.
Anyway, we've been planning to meet for a while but he had work and school and his probation officer to deal with so I waited.
Last month, he comes and visits me.
I hid it from my family because they're racist and he's black and I'm white and they're against the whole "interracial" thing which is a whole other story. But anyway, he comes and visits me.
We have the best of time, we connected and it felt so real. I completely felt his love. With my exes, I manipulated myself into believing they loved me but I actually felt it and even feel it as I'm writing this. We spent four days together. The first day, July 4th, we were together from 6pm to 8am just walking around together. We went to a hotel but you had to be 21 and neither of us were, obviously.
After that, we just stayed out there trying to get ahold of a cab but since it was the Fourth of July, no one picked up or was available.
Blah, blah, blah, he lost his Visa card that night so he didn't have a place to stay because he had no money. He slept on my porch and in my backyard because I was so concerned for him even though just THAT would risk me being able to see him.
The day he left, we sat and cried. I wasn't the first to cry. He was quiet that day and I was kinda getting mad at him for not talking to me but then he put his head down on his knees and I saw a tear fall onto his jeans and then we both just lost it.
When he got home, we talked every day on the phone, through text, etc. Then two weeks ago, he stopped responding and I was like um wtf. I texted him things like "um wtf why aren't you responding???" and he never read or replied to them. I finally got kind of nervous so I called him.
A woman answered.
Then I jumped straight to the conclusion that he was cheating on me and other bullshit like that but then she said "This is Bob's mom. Bob got arrested."
My heart dropped because I knew he was staying clean and sober and I thought he was seeing his probo, but apparently not.
I've been talking to his mom every day since then and finally last week I got to speak to him on the phone. His mom did a three-way call and it was really emotional and he said he just focused too much on me and i told him he needs to shape up and get his priorities straight because he was supposed to move here in the near future. Now, that plan is obviously hindered.
He's still not out and I've gone into a deep depression, self-destructing and whatnot. I've tried to keep happy but I really just can't without him.
I'm a little upset right now, so if any of this didn't make sense I apologize.
Basically my question and | is, what are your thoughts on my relationship with a man who is in another state and is now in jail? |
PneumaOA | tifu | t5_2to41 | t3_3fwfs5 | I was feeling good. This was my freshman year of college and I was soaking in the joy and novelty of aimless downtown wandering on a weekday. I even found a good parking spot and paralleled my mid 90s Chevrolet on the first pass. I had about 45 minutes to kill before going to campus to drop off whatever paper I was so relieved to be done with. I turned down the music and threw the door open as it was time for my maneuver. My signature move. My happy dance of irreverent coolness. It went 1. Throw the parking brake up and slide the stick into park in one continuous motion. 2. Grab keys with right hand while kicking my right foot then my left following until my feet hit the outside pavement as one 3. Pivot to correct the angle of my body while hopping out 4. Smash down the door lock with my left elbow 5. Spin clockwise from the elbow and and butt slam the door closed with feet firmly planted outside. I nailed the move but as I slammed the door, it swung at the perfect angle and knocked my keys out of my hand in into the car as it closed.
I stood there for at least a minute trying to figure out what happened and pawing helplessly at the the window and door. I did not tell the full story to the locksmith who took every last bit of cash from my wallet.
Edit: | my golden moves cost me everything in my wallet.
Another edit: here is a beautifully illustrated diagram of how I exit cars |
Throwaway87356 | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_3fxjpj | I used to see my SO about once a week, since he lived about an hour and a half from me, and because our work schedules didn't line very well.
He just moved closer to me(to start his own startup), one bus ride away from my job, and easily accessible with the subway system that didn't reach his old home before. We've talked about how easier it's going to be to see each other and more often too.
I communicated to him once before about how he wasn't very good at talking to me over the weekday, and he realized that too, so now he calls me every night to talk about our day and the weird stuff we find on the internet.
Since he's only in the beginning stages of his startup(no prototype yet, but he's been working on it for a couple months), he's practically working on it 24/7 at his studio apartment either by himself, or with his team members.
I joked a couple of days ago about how I plan on dragging him outside at least once a week to be with me, especially since I start school soon and he said that was fine. I've also mentioned the things I said I wanted to do before I go back to school, and he said that we'd be able to do them.
Yesterday, we got dinner at a place close by and as we were walking back to his studio, I told him that I finalized my school and work schedule and that I'd be free Fridays.
He stared at me and replied, "But Fridays is when we'll work." I reminded him about the dragging him outside once a week thing, "We'll be working a lot. The guys will sometimes not be working, but I will always. I can hang out, but only for a little bit."
That's when I started overthinking things, about how he's not making time to see me, how he's missed the last few phone calls, how he's moved closer but hasn't hung out with me around where I live.
I know that he needs to work on his startup, I've seen him working on it and I'm so happy and proud that he's doing something that he loves and something he's incredibly good at. But is it so hard for him to be around me and not say, "I'm thinking about coding... I just thought of a great idea!" and then run over to his computer.
I haven't had a day or even a slot of time with him to myself where he isn't thinking about coding. We haven't watched a movie or youtube videos together since he moved.
I haven't told him any of this yet, because I know it probably shows clingy and needy tendencies. Am I being clingy or needy? Am I actually overthinking this too much?
** | boyfriend moved closer to me, but doesn't seem to care about spending time with me so I overthink it. |
TheCaptHammer | tifu | t5_2to41 | t3_3fyi4p | This happened Monday night but for medical reasons I haven't been able to post until now.
My friends and I decided to hang out and drink. Work kept me busy until 9:30 so by the time I arrived they had started to drink a bit. This is where I got possibly the greatest idea ever. Being a lightweight I decided to chug my full 2-6 of rum at once (750ml) to catch up. Not too long after that I collapsed hitting my head really badly. Apparently I was unresponsive and after my ambulance ride to the hospital I was in a coma for 8-12 hours. I was also on life support. Thank God I have great friends and they have great parents. They were there pretty much the whole time. They've been very supportive. The doctors said most people who are intoxicated to the point of getting admitted to the hospital are usually at 70% (blood alcohol? Not sure what the number was for.) I was at 91%. 100% is death.
This was definitely a scary experience and I have learned a lot. So on that note ask me anything?
Edit: | drank too much too fast, went into a coma and was on life support. |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_3fz9wk | I am [18M]
Going off to college in 14 days and all of my usual friends have stopped talking. Seems like they've checked out when we're not even gone off yet...
Same with my other group of friends. It's fallen apart and we no longer hang out at all. They don't even talk in our group chats or anything anymore.
This is a load of petty shit but just humor me.
Mobile too so forgive me for typos and shit.
[B] | my friends don't talk to me anymore[/b] |
KairuX | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_3fzcn0 | Hi guys! My name is KairuX and I play in the PH Server. I started to make patch summary infographics last patch because I feel that not a lot of people (especially here at home) actually read the detailed wall of text called patch notes even though its really important so I decided to make something like | versions of these to somehow motivate them to check it out.
Anyways, here are the links to my current work and my previous works. I hope you enjoy and of course, constructive criticism is always welcome. :)
5.15:
5.14: |
[deleted] | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_3g00qn | What the fuck is happening on this subreddit?
I don't want to even talk about this drama because everyone's being so fucking dumb about it. Every time there's a drama, the misinformation spread becomes a generality and everyone starts shouting on these details. But now, it just reached the apogee of misread. This subreddit is now place for negative feedback and complaints about what Riot is doing. Starting a wave of bitching over a single Rioter's point of view is what you expect from ignorant people.
Riot is not a fucking gigantic company. They are nothing next to Valve or Blizzard. Why expect them to compete them? They already said they could not handle the abusive growth of the game in a short time and expending their employee roster becomes nearly impossible because the more people there is the harder organization becomes and it's difficult to get anything done.
You guys are just bitching like it will help Riot or force them to do anything. They are already having a lot of problems and having the community insulting them behind gives them even more problems. I think you all expect too much from what a mid-range company can do. Riot might have the budget to do that, but not the power. Yes they "only think about money" because that's the only thing they can do to temporize the issues. Just know that they are responding to you in a perspective where what you request is possible. But no, sadly, it's not possible yet.
Valve also had these leadership and communication issues for a very long time before becoming stable. They have a shorter but more organized team, that's why they are successfully doing what they want. Riot is still a very young company that has less experience and they need to fix a lot of issues before doing something right. Hell, sometimes, it's from luck. With over a thousand employees, miscommunication with all of them and organization problems, how do you want them to bring you your fucking sandbox in a second? Yes it's not hard to do, but when your HQ is already messy, there's a lot of difficulty doing it.
What I find even more stupid is that this subreddit has to shout for every detail and start complaining over their repetitive apologies and incompetence. What do you want them to do? If you are not happy and expect them to be very responsive and do everything right, then you will be disappointed. Riot might have been around for nine years, they are still young and have issues making 90M players happy. Anyone would. That's the problem. Everyone here expect them to be a perfect company who just wants money and every time they take a decision, they get shitted on. Just. Why? The problem is just your cowardice and naivety about the reality of the facts.
THEY WANT to make a sandbox mode. But it's not possible with all the shit that is happening. So they just throw an excuse from the perspective of not wanting to do it.
Honest | shut the fuck up with your sandbox threads and I don't give a fuck about your agressive comments. |
4amcontemplator | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_3eqqvs | Before I start, let me just state that I am a learned survivor, an eternal optimist and a born problem solver. I have overcome close bereavement, sexual abuse from the age of 4 to 11, teenage pregnancy and two abusive relationships (one physical, one mental, two restraining orders). However, I am really in a tight spot here and don't know what to do.
I get it, I come with a lot of baggage. Being a survivor of sexual abuse from such a young age has made me a difficult person to deal with at times, without throwing in the rest of the problems. I had a child with my first ever boyfriend, who decided he couldn't handle it and left me seven months into my pregnancy, not to be seen again for another three years. My mother committed suicide six weeks after my daughter was born. Following that, I somehow found myself in a relationship with a man who controlled my finances, stole from me, took loans out with me as the guarantor getting me into debt, would go missing for days, cheated on me with 21 different women (that I knew of) and would break my eye sockets whenever I attempted to confront him in any way. I got myself out of this relationship, battered, bruised and mostly friendless, and stumbled right into another one where I was constantly belittled and made to feel like I wasn't attractive enough. We broke up after two years, and he started to harass me, despite the break up being his decision/his new relationship with my step sister. So far, my life hadn't been that much fun, to put it lightly.
I didn't date for two years. I recognised my bad relationships being an obvious repercussion of my fragile mental state, and made a conscious decision to straighten my head out so no one could ever fuck with me again. I had counselling and hypnotherapy, I reached out to my friends and asked them for help, and I stayed away from anything that would lead to a relationship. I focused on work and on my daughter (described as a 'popular overachiever' in all of her school reports, so I've done pretty good on the parenting side of things), and I made peace with myself for all the shitty things that had ever happened to me. My friend told me a great saying once, and it goes like this: You can let your shit be shit, or you can let your shit grow roses.
I first met Jasper three years ago. I was in my 'no dating anyone ever' stage and when he asked me out, I politely declined. I told him it was nothing personal, I just couldn't be in a relationship at that moment. We would talk every now and then, mostly when bumping into each other on nights out, but my head was so far away from relationships I didn't really ever consider us being together. Not that there was anything wrong with him; physically he was pretty devastating, almost a foot taller than me with amazing broad shoulders and a sense of humour exactly on par with mine. He asked a few more times, but I still said no.
We ended up together after we both attended a black-tie event two years ago. I found myself to be very pleasantly surprised that he was there, and spent most of the evening 'accidentally' crossing his path and finding myself next to him at the bar. We had a couple of drinks together and exchanged numbers, and when I got home (five double gin and tonics down) I sent him a message asking if he'd like to grab a coffee. He replied saying that he'd just gotten out of a brief relationship, and although he would love to meet me he didn't want to hurt her feelings by dating someone else instantly, so could he give me a call in a few weeks?
We went on a date, and we haven't spent more than two nights apart ever since. He is the kindest, funniest most loyal person I have ever encountered. He isn't phased by any of my weird-ass reactions to things because of my past. He accepts that whilst I keep a very firm lid on all of my problems, I am literally a fucking crazy person if I haven't eaten in six hours. He has a fantastic relationship with my daughter and my family adore him. His family adore me just as equally, if not more.
But! And there is, unfortunately, always a but.
He doesn't work. And we don't have sex any more. And I have fallen into the trap of thinking 'but it's not as bad as THAT guy!' which means I have tolerated too much for too long.
He has a degree and wants to work in the field he is qualified in. Which is absolutely fair enough. In our two-year relationship, he has been in employment for three and a half months of it. I have helped all I can with his search for employment. I have put him in contact with endless potential clients. I have put him in contact with friends who work in high-up positions in companies he's applying with. I have written and re-written his CV and covering letter umpteen times (language and grammar are my forte. We once had a full blown argument about a sentence I said needed to be worded differently. He argued that it didn't and that it made sense to him, and I argued that it just read better, and he argued back that 'it just read better' isn't even a valid argument). I have been very, very patient with his search for a perfect job. I have suggested that, in the mean time, he just gets something to bring a bit of money in, like retail work or bar work. I tried suggesting it gently to begin with, because he effectively lives with me and pays nothing towards household bills/rent/groceries. But after eighteen months of gently goading it has turned into tearful arguments and a lack of enjoyment in anything that we do; I'm resentful because I have to pay for everything, and he gets cross that I bring it up whilst we're eating a lovely meal with soft jazz being played on the piano by a man in a white suit in the background. But I can't help it. I really can't. I work fifty hours a week minimum. I have been responsible for my own finances for the last eight years. I have had people take the piss out of me before, and I feel frightened it's happening again. I have been tolerant and understanding of his job hunting woes, but if it were the other way round I would find any job, literally any job going in order to contribute. We are supposed to be actually officially moving in together at the start of next year, and he actually said these words to me last week: 'I don't want to move in with you if I've just got a job I don't really want, because then I'll be working all these hours at a crappy job just to spend all the money I earn on rent and bills'. ???????? You think you're any fucking different from the rest of us, buddy?
Our sex life isn't all too grand either. For the first few months, as expected, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. But it was almost like once the expected honeymoon period (a saying I absolutely abhor) was over, we didn't need to have sex any more. It can go for six weeks at a time between us having sex. I ask every question imaginable; shall I wear the nice pants? Shall I use my mouth? Shall we take a shower together? Is it because I yelled at you earlier for drinking all of the milk? Is it because I've told you about what happened to me as a kid and it makes you feel weird? Is it because I stopped doing squats six months ago? Is it because my feet smell after I've been at work all day? Is it because my vagina looks weird? Is it because you feel depressed? None of the questions ever get to the bottom of it. He just tells me that he doesn't ever feel passionate and doesn't see sex as an important part of the relationship. Which is very sucky, because I use sex as a way to express my love for someone; I can't imagine anything more intimate than having sex with someone you love, and that's why I instigate it so much. He has literally instigated it twice in two years. And I am often tuned down which leaves me feeling very, very embarrassed. And unattractive. And unwanted. Last night he was watching a video on his phone in bed and hadn't spoken to me for half an hour. I reached over and touched him on the sexy area, and carried on doing so for five minutes. Out of no where he turned on me and yelled, actually yelled at me: 'What are you bloody doing??'. I have suggested everything, including couples therapy, but he just says that he doesn't really like sex. I've considered that it could be a consequence of stress and not having a job, but literally he lives with me without any financial responsibility, and before that he was living with his parents without any financial responsibility. He has had a perfect upbringing and I try incredibly hard to encourage and support him in finding a job. And he was exactly the same when he was in employment. And I'm really very tired now and this is really really long, so I'm sorry for that. But I can't seem to find a way out of this which doesn't result in us breaking up, purely for my sanity.
So, I guess, | version is that my boyfriend hates having sex with me and doesn't want to get a job to contribute to all the bills. Should I break up with him even though he is not a deadbeat dad/serial cheater/woman beater/step sister dater like all my other boyfriends? |
Ojimaru | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_3er2ee | This summer season I've not been able to keep up with neither NA nor EU LCS, and know even less about the LPL; instead, I've only been watching OGN games. As the season for each league draws to a close, I'm wondering if /r/leagueoflegends can give me a run down of the major storylines that happened across the various leagues, from dark horses to team slumps or just massive team implosions. I don't mind walls of text, but | s can also be helpful.
Much thanks in advance. |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_3erihp | Long story short, I cheated on him. I thought I could pretend it was no big deal and that it never happened, but I haven't slept, can't eat, am sick over It. How do I tell him? We live together and have roommates that depend on us for the rent- if we break up, they're in the shit. I've ruined everything. We have such an amazing life and I killed it. We'd be so much happier if I could pretend it never happened, but I'm just not strong enough to lie to his face everyday. Do I pack my things first? Do I find my roommates new places to stay? Do i tell him at home or out?
** | how do I tell my boyfriend I cheated, and how do I deal with the collateral damage? |
AdmiralShmerg | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_3es2c9 | My client has been experiencing a weird sort of bug ever since the patch for act II of the Bilgewater event happened, and it is preventing me in partaking in it :(. I enjoy these events and not being able to do so is very saddening. The client homepage only loads the image of the Bilgewater rewards portion and the rest are black screens except for one in a perma-load status. I wouldn't mind it so much except for the fact that i cant click and choose my path in the reward event. I don't know how to fix it (yes ive repaired the client).
~ | my client wont let me open up the bilgewater rewards thing for the icon and wont load properly.
~gyazo of my client: |
psicrest | Fitness | t5_2qhx4 | t3_m4669 | I'm a 31 years old male, currently weighing 249 lbs. My height is 5'7. I'm an Asian so rice is always part of my diet.
For more than a year, i never eat white rice but changed my diet to a brown rice. The problem is I ate a lot, and whenever i tried to control my diet I always experience "brain fog".
I work as a systems engineer in a startup company. We are in a verge of getting funding from an angel investor and since most of the our "products" are not yet patented and one of the key products are "trade secrets" or aka coca-cola formula. They want me to be "safe" because i hold 90% of the intellectual property until we have secure the contract so they can get me insured. Problem is i might die with a heart attack or stroke if i continue this kind of lifestyle.
My major dilemma is that every time i try to control my eating, my brain doesn't function properly. I find myself just staring at the screen in a catatonic state and i lack attention to detail. But when i eat until I'm full, my brain function correctly.
I have no motivation on doing an exercise ever since i was working at home i end up always feeling lazy.
Sorry for the grammar and | severely obese, need a good diet plan exercise also motivation.
Here is my pic from 185 lbs (2007) to 240ish (2010) |
Graeco | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_m49r4 | When the season started I play well but I of course get bad teams. That being said I had a lot to learn still. Initially I dropped down into 8-900 range which was hell. I was going like 6 games in a row 12-6-10 defeat. Like literally every game I dominate and my team just cant get it together. about 70 games later I'm about to hit 1200 which is a big benchmark for me. 1500 will be the next one. I have noticed a gradual change in my behavior that is fulfilling. I almost never overextend anymore. I will let the minions push and wait far behind for them to get back to me. You virtually lose no exp doing this and it makes it so much harder to get ganked. This happened not consciously but I was midding a lot as morgana and I carry the shit out of my teams. I didn't want to get ganked so I was paranoid as shit and now I don't even have to think about it. Anyway I still end up carrying/leading my team 80% of the time but I am a hell of a lot more effective at it.
( | played 70 ranked games in elo hell no longer overextend and can effectively carry dipshits better. |
Zynchilada | gaming | t5_2qh03 | t3_m6h08 | Hello /r/gaming! After a successful first time selling my art at a convention, I'm trying to get the word out about my art any way I can by giving out free commissions, handmade charms and figurines, and buttons, including things from:
Team Fortress 2 [{buttons}]( [{sandwich charm}](
Portal/Portal 2 [{turret figurines}]( [{PotatOS & cake button}](
Pokemon [{Pokeball charms}](
The Legend of Zelda [{Majora's mask pin}]( [{Link & Midna button}](
Final Fantasy [{moogle figurine}](
Phoenix Wright [{magatama charms}](
and the TV show Firefly [{buttons}](
This is sort of a drawing/raffle type thing; in exchange for promoting, following, and watching my art, you will be entered in a random drawing for the following prizes:
First place: A full-color marker commission on 8.5x11” cardstock, plus your choice of merch from my [online store]( including up to six buttons, or any figurine, or up to four charms made into whatever jewelry you want.
Second place: A black & white ink commission on 8.5x11” cardstock, plus your choice of merch from my [online store]( including up to three buttons, or any figurine, or up to two charms made into keychains, necklaces, bracelets, or earrings.
Third place: A sketch commission on 8.5x11” cardstock, plus your choice of merch from my [online store]( including one button, or a single charm made into a keychain, necklace or earring.
So, there will be three winners , who each get one free commission in addition to select free merch of their choice from my [online store](
In order to enter the contest, you MUST do at least one of the following things:
Reblog this post
[Watch me on deviantART]( and comment on [this journal](
[Like me on facebook]( and comment on [this post](
Doing all three increases your chances of winning .
You can also increase your chances of winning by doing the following things:
Follow [this tumblr](
After [watching me on dA]( make a journal on your own deviantART page with a link to my contest, then link your journal, in reply to or as your deviantART entry comment, [here](
After [liking me on facebook]( post a link of my facebook page on your own wall, take a screenshot of it, and comment on [this facebook contest thread]( with a link to the screenshot.
Your chances of winning increase with each of the things above, meaning you can be entered up to six times . You MUST do one of the first three things above in order to be officially entered, however. Although the winners will be chosen at random from the many ways to enter, you can only win ONCE per contest, so first, second, and third place winners will be three different people.
This contest will end on Wednesday, November 30th, 2011 , and the winners will be announced Thursday, December 1st, 2011. If this contest does well, I might be doing them more often, so spread the word!! Even if you don’t win this time, if you help get the word out, you could be a winner next time!
And, I know the rules for /r/gaming say no spamming personal websites, but I made sure to contact a mod and they said it was okay in this instance, and I'll only be posting this once, here on this subreddit. Thanks for reading, and good luck! c:
**( | win free art by promoting me on [facebook]( [tumblr]( and [deviantART]( |
[deleted] | gaming | t5_2qh03 | t3_m6qry | I have no idea what other games it is related to if any. I read some reviews and what not but I want to hear it from hardcore gamers and I figured what better place than r/gaming. So why should I love this game? Can you | the story line? |
excusemewtf | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_m6y2b | Hey guys, this is my first guide, created on Dyrus's reccomendation of making good guides if I want my stream to get any attention. I'd love any feedback you guys have to offer. (Except | it's intended to be in-depth :p) |
[deleted] | gaming | t5_2qh03 | t3_m75e0 | NOTE: wasn't aware of similar earlier post. sorry :/
twas the night before skyrim, when all through the land
not a faction was stirring, not even the Black Hand
the Gamestop sat dark but guarded with care
in hopes that Skyrim would soon be there.
The players were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of dragons danced in their heads
and the roommate with an Xbox, and I with my map
waited the long night for a game to unwrap
When from Riverwood there arose such a clatter
People rushed outside to see what was the matter
Away to Gamestop I flew like a flash
with my roommate in tow and a fistful of cash
Returning home to tamriel and fresh-fallen snow
I wandered forth across mountains above and plains below
When, to my wondering eyes should appear
A flamebreathing dragon scorching a group of deer
With horns across its snout and teeth measuring a meter
I knew in a moment it must be the World Eater
More rapid than arrows the dragon came
And it snarled and shouted my name
"Now Dovakiin! Now Dragonborn!
Your honor is sworn!
To Falkreath! To Morthal!
I shall eat them all!"
He breathed fire upon me, from head to foot
And my armor was now tarnished with burns and soot
Without the shield in my hand, and the sword on my back
I surely would've burned in the blazing attack
He was furious and flaming
and I shouted his kin's speaking
A snarl on my face and swinging for the head
Alduin knew he had something to dread
He sprang to the sky, and beat his wings with a thud
And away he flew, away from Rivenwood
But I heard it shout, as he flew from sight
"Doom to you all, and to you all a dark night!"
[NOTE: I considered converting everything, but it wasn't easy, so I went with an abridged version. This is purely original and posted by me on Facebook, but I thought I'd share and created an account for this. So yeah, first post and what not. Enjoy and spread as you wish.]
EDIT: | it's a Christmas knock-off, bro. |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2g54n3 | So, from the title you may be thinking 'puppy love' but when we were together before, it lasted about 2 and a half years. When the summer break was over, she broke up with me. I've only just started talking with her again and it's like talking to a long lost friend. Only today I said fuck it, I'll ask her out again because I still really like her, she replied 'can we speak tomorrow so I can tell you, please' and now all I'm doing is thinking about what I should do or say tomorrow. I was wondering if you guys could help, because since she broke up with me before I have been nervous around girls and I'm not sure whether she'll say yes or no. Thanks.
--- | asked my ex out, she said she will speak tomorrow in person about it. what should I do or say? |
VaderGodzilla | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2g55sz | So, from the title you may be thinking 'puppy love' but when we were together before, it lasted about 2 and a half years. When the summer break was over, she broke up with me. I've only just started talking with her again and it's like talking to a long lost friend. Only today I said fuck it, I'll ask her out again because I still really like her, she replied 'can we speak tomorrow so I can tell you, please' and now all I'm doing is thinking about what I should do or say tomorrow. I was wondering if you guys could help, because since she broke up with me before I have been nervous around girls and I'm not sure whether she'll say yes or no. Thanks.
--- | asked my ex out, she said she will speak tomorrow in person about it. what should I do or say? |