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Me [19 M] developing feelings for a girl [19 F] And her roommate, who I am close with, and who has asked me to come to a party with them, while her roommate playsfully teases me about it. | Summarize the following paragraph: This fall, I met a girl, Jess, doing a research project at my university. Over the the last 6-8 weeks Jess and I have become particularly close and I've developed feelings for her. We have hung out pretty often and she often initiates non-sexual physical contact (puts her head on my shoulder etc...).
Alex (Jess' roommate, who I am close with) picked up on my feelings for Jess and often playfully teases me about it. Alex and Jess asked me to come to a party with them one night, and Alex and I both blacked out and have no idea what happened, while Jess doesn't drink (but is cool with us drinking).
Apparently I let on to Jess I had feelings for her, and since then we've still been close, but I just felt like she just wasn't into me on the same level. So when I told Alex that I had sorta moved on, she acted all surprised and a little upset.
Now we're both home over break, we've talked a little, but I want to give us both some space. Ill be with Alex for a week before we come back, so I can talk to her more about it then. What complicates matters further though is that Jess, me and a few other kids are doing research all of next summer together, so I feel that there really is no rush, but I don't want to make anything weird between us because we'll be together then regardless. | openai_summarize |
Newbie to a large organization, girl at party, first time meeting. Suggestions? Would you find it flattering if a man went out of his way to find a way to contact you and ask you out, or would you find it flattering if he did so in person? | Summarize the following paragraph: I find this weird, so I am using a throwaway.
A few weeks ago I was at a party hosted by an organization in my area which helps young professionals meet and make connections. It is pretty low key and more of a group of friends than an organization.
So I have been to these events before and it is typically the same people in attendance. This particular time, however, a new girl showed up who had just joined. I found her very cute and it was my intention to speak with her and get her number before the night ended. But being a new member, she spent most of her evening going around introducing herself to be polite. I was only able to converse with her for a short while, and I wasn't able to fit in anything to gauge interest. It was a 'Hi I am so-and-so, I moved from ____, I work in _____, and it is nice to meet you' type of conversation.
This bring me to my question. The only way for me to contact her at this point in time is through her profile on the organizations website. Contacting her there does not feel 'proper' to me, especially because I do not even know if she is single. The next meeting is a month from now and I feel as though I should wait and speak with her then, but I have no idea if she will be in attendance.
So, ladies.. Would you be creeped out if a man were to go out of his way to find a way to contact you and ask you out, or would you find it flattering? On the flip side, would you prefer it if he did so in person? Keep in mind that we only spoke briefly, and I do not know her relationship status. Also keep in mind that I am attractive, fit, and well-kept because (sadly) that seems to sometimes be the difference between cute and creepy. | openai_summarize |
In a great relationship, WANT to stay with her, but lack of dating experience makes me curious about other people. Want to understand how to handle and clear those feelings so I can make the most of the relationship i'm in. | Summarize the following paragraph: Hello everyone,
I am in a wonderful relationship. My GF and I are pretty much a perfect match for each other. We complement each other extremely well, she treats me like a king, I treat her like my queen, we could be digging holes in the desert with spoons and as long as we’re together we’ll be happy. That’s not actually what I need help with.
I am 26. I had my first girlfriend at age 24. I hadn’t dated before then. I actually used Seddit to gain confidence and start actually speaking to women. Since then I’ve had a bunch of “nothing serious” dates, then a 3 month relationship, then an 8 month relationship, and now 7 months with my current girl. I fully intend on marrying her in a few years. But Seddit also taught me to not focus on one person and be looking for the next best person all the time. And that’s causing me some problems.
Here’s the thing. I didn’t date in high school or college. So while I KNOW that my gf is the one for me, my brain keeps telling me that I should want more experience with more people and that I need to be dating. That’s what my brain keeps telling me when I go out with friends and see a plethora of extremely attractive women. But I know I’m happy right now – and that the chances of those girls being able to provide the kind of relationship I have with my current GF is almost 0%. I need help figuring out how to avoid getting distracted – I want to focus my energy on the relationship I’m in and not be tempted to pull away just because I see someone who is “hotter” or more outgoing or whatever...but would not complete me the way my girlfriend does. Anyone with suggestions on how to focus on the relationship you have…please chime in! | openai_summarize |
I have self esteem issues and worry that my relationship will ruin. How do I get over it? | Summarize the following paragraph: I've always had a problem with my self consciousness, self esteem, and worrying. It had gotten better, but getting into a relationship seems like it's making everything flare up. This is my first serious relationship since high school, and we have only been together for 4 months so far. He is going away this week to an event across the country and all I can think about it what if something happens while he's there and he hooks up with someone.
I brought this up to him and we talked about it. He handled it fine, told me he understands where i'm coming from and that I had nothing to worry about. I feel like my fear is totally irreverent, and I know it comes from me thinking that there are better out there. There has been no indication that this would even happen, I just always have to think of the worst thing to happen.
Did any of you deal with this in a relationship? How did you get over it? I really love this guy and don't want to mess this up because of my self image or being a worry wort. I actually didn't realize I had trust issues until now. Any advise would be amazing. | openai_summarize |
I hate being single. Should I tough it out or should I try to find a new squeeze? | Summarize the following paragraph: After having an abusive boyfriend in high school, I didn't date anyone for three years. Finally I got with someone and I dated him on and off for about a year. Now that I'm single again I am horribly lonely. I feel like I NEED someone to pay attention to me every day, I feel like I NEED the physical intimacy involved with a relationship.
I used to be more or less fine with being single--in fact, I was scared of relationships. Now I can't stand being alone.
So what I need advice on is what to do about it. I can either jump in head first to dating new people and I'll probably be clingy and insane if I happen to find someone I like, or I could go on feeling miserably lonely and hope it gets better, and hope that I eventually will end up happy with someone else along the road magically. Another problem is that I'm very rarely attracted to people so I feel hopeless that I will find someone again. | openai_summarize |
My (22f) best friend (24m) of 4 years (who has been in love with me) has told me that he is in love with me (22f), but I am not sure how I feel about it. | Summarize the following paragraph: My friend and I are really close, we've known each other for four years, lived together for three months last summer. He currently lives in his hometown 300 miles away because he couldn't find work after college (has been unemployed for a year). I'm finishing up school at the moment and really busy.
He told me that he is in love with me, and I made it clear that I wasn't interested, since I didn't find him attractive, doesn't seem to be particularly ambitious (never had a job before or connections through college, so no work comes his way), and doesn't even like to go out.
I do find some good traits in him, he calls me out on my shit when it is necessary, is there for me emotionally, and we can talk for hours about almost anything. He's taking better care of himself physically, and although I don't want to seem vain about this, he is starting to look attractive now that he is working out.
I am at a point in my life where I want to stay away from relationships. I find peace in being single, in enjoying my time with friends and family, and in focusing on my career goals. I'm just not sure of where I want to place him in my life.
There's a part of me that wants to reciprocate feelings because he's a wonderful guy who has there for me through my worst, but he has some serious red flags in terms of what he wants to accomplish with his life. There's another part of me that just wants to wait until graduation to try to get back to dating and maybe find someone that I absolutely like, rather than someone I feel I've been forcing myself to see in that light. | openai_summarize |
since going off to college my friend has pulled a 180 and developed unhealthy life habits. How do I confront her? | Summarize the following paragraph: We'll call my friend A. We've been close since elementary school and were in the same friend group throughout high school. We were the type of people that were all about having a sober good time. She had a good boyfriend of over a year and their relationship was very healthy.
A left to go to school (I'm home at community college) and ended up with a partier of a roommate. After about a month of school she decided she wanted to start going out and drinking and when her boyfriend didn't approve she broke up with him (he's a year below us, still in high school). There were other reasons that also built up to it, but I believe she would've stayed with him without that reason.
She broke up with him one weekend she was home, and when she went back she had the craziest (and unhealthiest) week of her life with the excuse that she was depressed about her breakup. Sunday night she got detained by the police with her roommate and their friends for breaking into the football stadium. The next night she got drunk in the dorms and pulled an all nighter before a midterm. Tuesday she stayed up late watching Netflix with her roommate in their guy friends room and fell asleep in one of the guy's beds with him at around 5 am before another midterm. The next night she got black out drunk and hooked up with that friend. Friday she smoked weed for the first time. Saturday she got drunk and smoked weed.
Since that week she's calmed down with her drinking during the week but still goes out partying/to the bars/just drinking in the dorms 2-3 times a weekend. She always complains about how her life is a mess and isn't doing as well on her schoolwork as she used to. Should I stage an intervention? Any other advice? | openai_summarize |
Trying to roast a turkey with spatchcocked breasts and bacon, need some advice! | Summarize the following paragraph: Hey guys, my girlfriend and I are having some friends over this Saturday for a Christmas dinner. We have an 19 pound turkey, and I've been looking forward to spending the day just cooking and stuff. On Thanksgiving, I tried the Alton Brown turkey recipe (brined, roasted without stuffing) and it was great. With all the hubub from American Thanksgiving about spatchcocking a turkey, I thought that'd be great to try out! I'm confident in my ability to cut out the backbone and roast it, but I had mentioned to my buddy how good it was to lay some bacon over the breasts while the last one roasted and he bought 3 pounds for this dinner. So in a really rambling way, I guess I'm asking if covering the spatchcocked turkey in bacon will defeat the point of using that method to get crispy skin? Would I be better to add bacon to mashed sweet potatoes, or to brussels sprouts? | openai_summarize |
Starting voluntary work at art centre for people with mental health problems need advice. | Summarize the following paragraph: I am about to start some voluntary work at an art centre for people with various disabilities, although I think the majority have some kind of mental illness. Also I believe the people there are adults.
As far as I know I will be assisting the other staff at the centre and generally just helping out.
So what I was wondering was if there is anybody who works in care, group settings with people who have mental health problems. Do you have any advice, links, etc for me to better help these people. I don't want to come across as condescending as these are adults and I am fairly young.
I also hope to work as an art therapist eventually. | openai_summarize |
Met girl online. Never met in real life. Super long distance, but she will come to visit me. Is this type of relationship viable? | Summarize the following paragraph: I've been learning Spanish on my own, and, in order to practice, I was using a language exchange website to chat with people from Spanish speaking countries. I've actually made some great friends and plan on meeting several of them when I go backpacking through South America in a year.
Anyways, I met this one girl about 6 months ago, and we just really hit if off. We are half way across the globe right now, since I am spending a year in S. Korea (just graduated university). She is finishing up her last year and lives in Colombia. I asked her to be my girlfriend about 3 months ago, and everything's been fine. She is planning on traveling to hang out with me this upcoming August. It will have been one full year since meeting online until we meet in real life.
Our relationship right now is perfect though. We are both very occupied with work and studies, so this type of relationship works for us. We Skype often and talk everyday. I do silly things like buying flowers and sending her pictures of them, and we'll watch movies together etc. etc.
I'm more than happy with her right now, but has anyone had a similar experience to this? Meeting someone online and not meeting him/her for a long time? I honestly have no problems waiting (I can forgo sex/physicality for a year), and I try not to think too much about the future. But there is that doubt of what happens after we meet? I live in the U.S., and she lives in Colombia. I'll visit her while I backpack through S. America, but then what? Is this something that people think can be sustained?
Anyways, I guess I'm just looking for any advice or input. Oh, and my past two relationships have been long distance as well, but I had met them before and got to see them often. | openai_summarize |
How do I start a conversation with a partner about the future of our relationship? | Summarize the following paragraph: I started dating someone in mid-December. We met online, went out for dinner a few times, then starting hanging out at their place regularly after maybe 2-3 weeks (give or take). We have (amazing) sex every time we see each other (2-3x a week), and have been opening up more emotionally as time goes on.
I really like this person and would like to see each other exclusively (I haven't been with anyone else since February, while they still maintain an active online dating profile), since I know we both are looking for a long-term relationship.
My problem is this...I have never had to start this conversation before. I get the feeling that they would also like to keep me around for awhile (vague statements about "we should do this over the summer..."), but no mention of what exactly we're doing here. Every other relationship I have been in, the other person brought it up way earlier and I feel like I don't have much time left to get that commitment before they grow bored/tired of waiting and move on. They are in the middle of a big project at work that requires late hours and weekends (software engineer), that is due to wrap up within the next week or so...maybe they're waiting until then to focus on an actual relationship? I don't know.
I'm losing focus on my point. Help me Reddit, how do I get this conversation rolling? | openai_summarize |
BF doesn't make keep promises I don't ask him to make and it's getting frustrating. Is it selfish of me to get irritated about it? | Summarize the following paragraph: The basic problem is this: my boyfriend will sometimes promises to do something, something I didn't ask for and he offers on his own - and then he doesn't do it.
For example (this is just one of a few instances), because we moved into different regions and have less time to see each other, he offered to come over to my place and cook for me once a month and tbh I was really looking forward to it... but seeing that this hasn't happened once the past two months, I don't have my hopes up anymore.
It's disappointing because I was really looking forward to it... but at the same time, I'm hesitant to actually fight about this because I feel like I'll come off as taking him for granted.
Am I justified in feeling hurt/wanting to confront him, or should I just focus on the fact that he made the gesture? | openai_summarize |
My boyfriend has a messed up family situation and I feel guilty if I break up with him. How do I do it? | Summarize the following paragraph: I am 20, he is 21 and we live in different states (1.5 hours apart) but we attend the same university.
I've been in this relationship for 2 years and I think that it has run its course. I am no longer happy and I find myself getting extremely stressed out when I have to be with him. What makes this hard for me to walk away from is his family and friend situation. He barely talks to his family. He hates his dad and has said that his dad mentally abuses his family. I am also pretty sure his dad has physically abused his mother on some occasion. He has one sister but they never talk and a few months ago she attempted suicide, and they still don't talk to one another. So he basically has no family relationship. He also only has a handful of friends at home, and at school I am the only person he has. I am also reluctant to leave because he cut me off from all my friends 2 years ago, so I have nobody as well, but I am more confident in my ability to move on than his and sometimes I do enjoy his company, but I feel like hes become a friend. He is very needy and needs me to be available to him 24/7.
Also, for about 6 months I've been pulling out all the stops on the crazy train, with the hope that he would break up with me so it would have been "his decision" and I wouldn't have to deal with the guilt. How do I break up with him? | openai_summarize |
I feel less at ease with my boyfriend than with my friends mainly due to me going red in the face for no real reason. I think I just want to look... perfect to him. It's a bit tiring sometimes. Are there any other Redditors with the same problem? | Summarize the following paragraph: Hello Reddit, thanks for taking your time to read this!
My boyfriend and I have been together for about one year now, we love each other very much, but my problem is that I still don't feel 100% comfortable with him. I have absolutely no reason to feel this way because he's always very sweet and understanding. The thing is that I used to blush a lot, I worked on it and I am way more at peace with myself than I was a couple of years ago. I couldn't go out to dinner with my friends without blushing at random moments whenever I started thinking about it. This doesn't happen any more with my friends, because I just think "fuck this, I don't care what they think of me". Unfortunately, when it comes to my boyfriend, I DO care what he thinks of me & my looks. I used to blush a lot with him too but luckily that has got better, as I got to know him better and he never made a remark about it. But it's still not completely gone, especially in new situations: family dinners, spending an evening out with his friends,...
When I'm alone talking to his friends, I'm at ease, but when he joins the conversation, I'm immediately a bit nervous.
I plan on continuing to work on my blushing problem, it has a lot do with self-confidence too, and the longer I'm with him, the more comfortable I am. I probably should talk to him about it, but I don't really feel comfortable talking about it to anyone I know (did talk to a therapist, didn't mind that :)). I just don't want to be reminded of it by a friend who I confided in long after the problem is gone/mostly gone. | openai_summarize |
I'm in a shitty relationship with my girlfriend. I'm not cut out to be a boyfriend. I feel like I'm wasting my time.
Any advice would be great. | Summarize the following paragraph: In the beginning with my girlfriend we started out amazing. I was infatuated and I would do anything to see her. I'm very busy, so I had to cut time in other things to see her. I was okay with this, my grades went down but it was okay.
Fast forward. I've been starting to focus on developing myself. I've been more selfish and I think it's started to ruin my relationship. I'm an athlete and I've been training a lot more, I've been working to sustain my endeavours, and studying lots. Between all this and my girlfriend I think I've been putting her in the back seat. Actually, I know I've been. And she's been noticing. Between all these things, I don't even see my friends. I talk to them rarely, maybe at work or at university. But all my spare time is basically with her. Or I have like an hour or two of not studying or anything so I play video games. This has caused a strain in our relationship. She's not feeling as loved anymore, which is totally my fault. But I need to also focus on myself.
The thing is, she's great to me and I feel like I can't do anything for her. Everything she does, I don't care. It's always good to me. But me, I feel like everything I do creates a fight. She proposed me seeing my friends again. I agreed. So I went to be with my friends today, ignored my phone. And she got mad at me for not texting her the entire day. I know it seems trivial, like why don't you just text her. But I got caught up in doing me.
I want to fix this, I really do. But I don't know how. I don't want to give up progressing myself. | openai_summarize |
my girlfriend and I are both very different, but I think we don't really work as a couple and I'm not sure if I should break up with her. | Summarize the following paragraph: So I've been with my girlfriend for a bit over a year now and I'm starting to feel more and more that we just aren't working as a couple and are too fundamentally different. This is both of ours first relationship and we lost our virginities to each other.
Obviously the honeymoon period is over and we both know that and we've had to overcome some issues during our time to stay together. But in the last 4 months I've been growing increasingly agitated by her... feeling indifferent to her and 'us'. Following big arguments I've tried breaking up with her twice leading both times to her breaking down and promising to change (sometimes successfully sometimes not) and begging me to take her back/not break up with her.
The core problem(s) is that I feel we have close to nothing in common, we come from very different backgrounds (sociology-economically, religion & family dynamic [think atomic family in contrast to single mother to narcissistic/abusive family members]) and I'm far too zen or care free for her liking. I find myself simply not caring about what happens with her day (being a normal day of school / work / other) and her asking about mine and she on the other hand thrives off of that kind of interaction and that simply just isn't an interest/priority to me.
Disclaimer I do have some social inhibitions (think asperger like traits but not all the way there) and ADHD.
Our sex life is non existent anymore after the honeymoon phase due to her getting on birthcontrol (which she isn't on anymore) and killing her sex drive / attraction to me and afterwards my attraction to her has been wavering as she's gained weight and stopped exercising and become a bit of an unmotivated homebody.
My question is, I guess, should I break up with her and if so how do I best do and gain the courage to do so.
EDIT: We've been together for 2 years not 1 year. | openai_summarize |
I liked a girl, so did another guy at school. She chose him - I got slightly depressed for a while. Turns out she doesn't like him. Now she likes me but the other guy might be depressed. I really want to go out with her but don't want him hurt. What do I do? | Summarize the following paragraph: Ok fuck I feel terrible writing this.
So here's the story there are 3 people involved, lets call them Myself, Matt and Ruby. Ruby is an attractive girl and me and Matt were both attracted to her. She was on edge trying to choose between us and ended up taking Matt as a prom partner. This sent me to a shitty place, I don't want to call it depression but a bad place for a month or two.
I eventually got over it but it turns out Ruby thinks Matt is clingy and decides she isn't romantically interested in Matt and kinds of breaks things off. Not only this but she starts to get all flirty and I hear from one of her friends that she likes me.
Now it may seem like she's a slut or using guys but she's one of the nicest girls I know. My feelings are still there for her and I was going to ask her out this week. The problem is Matt.
Matt is very jealous of her shift towards me and isn't taking it well at all. Myself and Ruby both know of the trouble Matt is going through, his whole attitude has changed to a shell of what it was.
He's sad in class and recently liked a bunch of pages on facebook relating to depression and help getting out of it.
Me and Ruby both like each other, I have been where Matt was. Ruby really doesn't see Matt in a romantic way. But I think now Matt is depressed. I don't want Matt to feel how he does but I also like Ruby a lot.
What the Fuck do I do? | openai_summarize |
My girlfriend has plans of leaving for Canada, her parents won't let her stay. Need advice on how to talk to her parents. | Summarize the following paragraph: Hello. We're both 17 and together in a relationship. We love each other and I think of her as more than my girlfriend, my partner, something beyond the usual. She already finished High School and will be graduating next month. I, however, still have one more year to go. Her plans prior to us meeting were leaving the country to study in Canada (and her parents, after several fights and discussions, had finally agreed to let her go). I also had plans of studying abroad (as many geeky teens, in Japan), but perhaps they weren't as solid as hers.
Each had their path, and then we met. We dated without really thinking about the future, but it is starting to catch up with us. Long story made shorts, we do not want to be apart, but her parents won't let her stay. I said she could study intensive French, read, keep practicing guitar (she takes lessons), sign up for literay courses, etc. All these things are things she enjoys and would help her with her career (she wants to study Sociology). However, Sociology isn't available at her temporary college of choice, and **University starts until next summer in 2015 (same time I enroll and will enter together with her)**.
One thing is clear, we don't want to be apart, so this situation leaves us with three choices: she leaves to Canada and I stay here, she stays a year here until we can go to university together, or she leaves to Canada and I follow her there (without a HS diploma, and perhaps legal documentation). The less risky choice and ideal choice for us would perhaps be for her to stay here and then going to University together (since it starts at the same time, whether she leaves or not). Her parents do not agree though and we would like to know how to talk to them. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you for reading. | openai_summarize |
I have several probate issues with my mother's estate and I have been told that settlement is coming. I have not received a confirmation of the settlement and my other brother is refusing to provide documentation. Can this happen if I have been in regular communication with them? | Summarize the following paragraph: I have a few probate issues with my mother's New Jersey estate. I am one of seven siblings all are equal beneficiaries. The two oldest are executors. Our mother passed away six years ago and they are only just settling the estate now. Two of us have requested documentation to support the expenses they are claiming as well as value of assets. She had several stocks, a mortgage free home which was rented out then sold, additional monetary assets, and minimal debt. They have given a list of expenses totaling nore than $118,00.00 but They are refusing to provide any supporting documents to substantiate this list.
In addition, my mother had loaned money to a few siblings prior to her death with the agreement that the money would be paid back. Two siblings signed agreements stating such and the third never for around to it but the amount was still recorded with my brother. The outstanding amount is close to $30,000.00. The executors just decided that these debts no longer need to be repaid to the estate. Two of the debtors had been asking questions about the expenses, accounts, etc.; however, after the debt relief they have stopped. I and another sibling have made several requests for documentation that have been ignored or refused.
Now, I have been told that some siblings have gotten a final settlement check. I have not recieved anything regarding settlement and have been told that letters were sent to everyone. I reached out to the oldest brother and asked why I didn't get a notice or anything and was told that he sent it to my old address (I moved a year ago and he has my new one). I requested it be sent again via regular mail (because I work far from home) and he refused. I just made that request again and he told me that he would notify me when the certified mail was returned to him. I am concerned that they are trying to circumvent my (and my other brother's) requests for proof of expenses by settling the estate without including us because we did not respond to whatever was sent in a timely fashion, which I believe would allow then to just send our portion to the state as unclaimed funds? Can this happen if I have been in regular communication with them? Can they refuse to provide documentation? Thanks! | openai_summarize |
current SO was someone else in his past. Got mad at me for prying, but should I have the right to know who he was? | Summarize the following paragraph: I'm in a relationship with a wonderful man for about a year now. No major issues. He's loving, successful and the closest to a soul mate I've ever had. From past conversations I've figured out he was quite the "bad boy" in his youth, but we never really went further into it since it's not who he is now.
Last week, however, we were talking and I questioned a bit more deeply into his past. He admitted to having done a lot of bad things-- getting into fights, "manipulating people to get his way", even getting arrested, and also has quite a history with women, including being unfaithful. I thought he acted out in his youth. Turns out it was in his twenties (so, about 10 years or so ago).
I suppose I might have been too nosey, but I was in no way judgemental. But he then got angry with me for wanting to know all this about him, saying that it was his past, he learned from his mistakes and it's not who he is now. To be honest I've never seen him that pissed off at me before. I respect his privacy and I told him I'm not judging him, but his reaction and unwillingness to be frank about everything put me off a bit.
So, reddit, what do you think? Should a person have the right to question their SO's sordid past, especially if things are getting serious, or should one let sleeping dogs lie?
Edit:
Sorry, | openai_summarize |
I love my job but want to move closer to family and what do I do? | Summarize the following paragraph: I just turned 24 and life has been going great. I have a great career and prospects of climbing high on the corporate ladder. I was recently accepted into my top choice for a masters program.Up until last week I thought I had everything mapped out and was ready to start pushing for my goals.
I took 10 days of vacation to head back east to visit my family and a girl that I have been dating on/off since college. Everyone was ecstatic to see me and I had a great time. The thing that has me questioning my career though is the feeling of guilt.
I recently connected with the girl of my dreams back home and in reality I would rate us a 10/10 on a compatibility scale. She is literally the female version of myself and we get along in every way. We have also known each other for ~5 years and have always liked each other. She is a researcher and is about to start a doctorate program in California.
The other times I feel guilty about living 2k miles away from my family is when they talk about how it would be really nice to live closer and seeing my 2 year old nephew not recognize me.
I guess my question is, do I leave the career i'm in now and settle down with a tech company closer to home. With the job I have now I literally travel 3/4 of the year. | openai_summarize |
Unsure if I should put effort into maintaining a friendship with former best friend after growing apart in university and feeling betrayed. Seeking advice/opinions. | Summarize the following paragraph: Hi /r/relationships,
I'm posting here from a throwaway because my friends are redditors too.
I come to you to seek advice regarding a friendship with my former best friend, Alice. We were best friends in school, but she didn't come to university until a year after I did. The summer before I started university, I was date raped, and I ended up losing a few friends over it. The former friends were quite nasty to me at the time and spread rumors about me but I went no contact and ignored them. Alice was one of the few friends I had left to confide in and she was a big emotional support for me at the time.
One of those former friends, Aaron, I'd introduced to Alice a few months before this. We'd hang out as three, since Aaron and Alice were only getting to know each other. After Aaron turned his back on me and started spreading rumors, he and Alice started to become closer friends, as Aaron didn't really have any other friends in our town.
We ended up going to the same university, so we still see each other around campus, and we sometimes meet up for lunch or call over to each other. We've definitely grown apart quite a bit since then.
Alice and I were roommates for a year, but I moved out for 2 main reasons. The first was that I discovered Alice had been holding drugs for a friend of hers in the apartment for several months. The second was that I found out Alice had invited Aaron over while I wasn't there.
I ended up feeling pretty betrayed after finding that out, and it's probably the biggest reason I'm unsure if I should maintain the friendship.
Should I try keep the friendship up? Or should I just give it the slow fade? Am I right to feel betrayed or am I over reacting? | openai_summarize |
I graduated in December 2012. What's the best way to specify my graduation date on LinkedIn? | Summarize the following paragraph: Hi Reddit, I recently graduated with a B.S. degree in EE. I graduated in December 2012 and I also mentioned that that on my resume. However, on LinkedIn, there's no where to specify the exact month I graduated. It just says that I graduated in 2012 and the common assumption is that I graduated in June. I don't want recruiters and hiring managers to think I graduated in June and wonder why there was no activity for the past 6 months, when I was still completing coursework through December. I also mentioned that I finished my Senior Project in June. However, the last bit of coursework pushed my graduation date to December. | openai_summarize |
ex-gf of 2 and a half years and I broke up 2 months ago. She's contacting me again but it makes me sad. Should I just leave or should i try to get over her? | Summarize the following paragraph: I was dumped almost 2 months ago. It was terrible. She kind of came out of nowhere with it. It wasn't reasonable. Post breakup she couldn't explain her reasons. I link the issue back to when she started smoking pot again. She stopped doing her college homework. Stopped caring about her job. She just smoked all day. She lived with me and my family. My family was oblivious to all the problems.
I noticed little things like her commenting about how other guys looked. She broke up with me for a day a couple months ago because she said she had a crush on a coworker, a friend of mine. It was devastating. But that night I took her back like an idiot.
One major fact is she a major bipolar. She had taken medicine for a couple weeks but then reverted back to none. She was abusive. Hit me a lot and stabbed me twice. She tore down my self confidence a ton.
We were together for 2 and a half years. We had a whole house put together. We had a bunch of animals. The morning we broke up she instantly went to dating a guy she met on a video game. It fucking destroyed me. She left the following day and went 4 hours away to her dads house.
Post the break up she's contacted me a few times saying she misses me and loves me. But the next day she denies it and goes back to the terrible her. I've blocked her for 11 days now and haven't heard a thing.
I have went to the gym and done things for myself. I went on a date a week ago but no matter how great this girl was i couldn't wait to get home because I was just thinking about my ex. I think about her daily. It has not gotten easier. What do I need to do to get over her? I've tried tons of things but I still miss her a ton. | openai_summarize |
295lbs fat man is struggling to decide if he should ask out his very beautiful, fun friend now. Or wait till he loses more weight but take the chance of losing her without ever taking the chance of asking her out. | Summarize the following paragraph: There's a woman I have had interest in for some time now. She's really nice and we always get along well when we're together. Chatting, laughing all that good stuff.
I want to ask her out on a date but, I don't know, I think she is really, really out of my league. I'm a pretty heavy fella 5'10" 295 lbs. I don't think I'm terrible looking or anything I'd say I'm average to decent looking. It's just the weight is an issue. She is not heavy, like at all, she's very pretty I would go so far to say she's one of the most beautiful women I know.
I've gotten some inclination that she might like me too but I'm just so insecure about my weight. I've been heavy my life time so I've never really had much luck in the dating scene. I know some of you would say lose the weight and I'm working on it I'm down 30 lbs since February things have been slower going during the summer odd work scheduled and etc... Part of me thinks I should hold off till I get some weight off me but another part of me thinks that if I wait to long I'll lose my opportunity to ask her out without even taking the chance. I know that the worst thing she can say is no. But at the same time when it comes to her, the worst thing she can say is no. | openai_summarize |
My friends invited me to a ball for a group of people who were invited to it by another friend but didn't mention my name. I ended up seeing photos of the group on facebook and feel very hurt. | Summarize the following paragraph: I made some new friends this year in my postgraduate course. While we supported each other with the course, we did a lot of things socially - nights out clubbing or drinking, going for lunch, supporting each other through personal problems etc. I was pretty happy because I had a great new friendship group. There were 5 of us.
I found out a few days ago on facebook that everyone in the group except me was going to an event of one friend, Kate. Kate participated in a sports group through college and they were hosting a big ball where anyone in the group could invite others (friends, partners etc) to come along. So Kate invited everyone except me.
No one in the group mentioned the ball to me at all. I saw them a few times at college in the last few days and it wasn't discussed in the group chat. I thought maybe I misunderstood the event and it wasn't the kind of ball I was thinking of...
But no, I ended up seeing photos on facebook that it was just a typical ball for people to get dressed up and drink. Kate and another girl have taken all the photos of the group with all these tags alluding to them being the best of friends.
I'm feeling pretty hurt about being excluded. I don't really know why Kate excluded me and why everyone avoided bringing it up. The only reason I can think is that perhaps it's because I'm in a long-term relationship and they are all single?
Not sure what to do next. I don't know if it's best I take the hint and just distance myself over time, or if I should ask Kate why she didn't invite me? | openai_summarize |
Boyfriend slept and sexted multiple girls before we became official, problem is not that it happened but that he has lied so much about it the trust is shaky | Summarize the following paragraph: This is not a very clear cut problem and I would really appreciate some help.
I was talking to my now boyfriend for about a year before we eventually met up. The reason for this long frame of time was because I was very ill and was in and out of hospital - which he was aware of - and it was clear I was not lying about this as my health problems had impacted massively on my university exams and I was made to sit them later.
When we first started talking, he would drunkenly text/snapchat me and it was clear that he was doing this with multiple other girls. About 8 months before we met up, he told me that he liked me and he wasn't hooking up with anyone else - completely off his own back, I knew I wouldn't be able to commit to seeing him so made sure I was not the first to say this but told him I reciprocated.
When we finally met up, we decided instantly that we wanted to be exclusive and during the 6 months we have been together there have been no problems whatsoever. However, when I have asked him about the other girls he was sexting etc, numerous red flags started to appear.
So 6 months down the line and after countless conversations and lies it appears he slept with two other girls, was sexting a handful of others, 3 of which he had previously slept with - and he had been in contact with these girls up until the weekend we met. I have no problem that this happened, as I was pretty aware these things were going on, I just feel that it's hard to trust him. In our most recent conversation he admitted that he probably would have slept with one of the girls he was in contact with if we hadn't of met up when we eventually did. He has a long history of cheating and it's taken 6 months and a lot of questions by me and lying on his part to get where we are now. Any help with how to overcome this? | openai_summarize |
daughter being kept from me because mother wants to let her new boyfriend play dad, don't want to do anything stupid, very poor and cant afford legal help. Need direction. | Summarize the following paragraph: I'll get to the point, the mother of my child isn't a good person. She routinely threatens violence against me, has a history of mental instability (was in a mental institution less than a year ago for about a week), and no matter how hard i work to prove that I'm a fit father, she see's me as the person i was years ago before the child and does anything to spite me. Her most recent example of this is also the most extreme, she insists her new boyfriend is a better fit to be a father and has forbid me from picking her up on my days (every weekend, Friday after class, until Monday when i drop her off at day care on the mothers side of town)
At first I thought, fuck her. I pay for day care. I'll just pick her up and take her. Then, i came to my senses and realized that would not be fair to her, the mother, and I also could be charged with kidnapping, i think.
I'm 20, my daughter is 3, the mom is 21. I live at home, go to school, and work a graveyard shift job to save for my own place once I begin my hopeful career, daily things and toys for my daughter, and pay for her day care. Needless to say, I'm paying for my mistakes, I have little money for luxury, and absolutely not enough for a decent lawyer or any kind of court fee.
All I want is to be able to see my daughter . it's been two weeks. I've considered calling the cops and saying something, but I wont be taken seriously. I don't know what to do, I just want to see my kid.
I'm a good guy, clean record, not so much as a speeding ticket. I'm just very, very poor. And very, very desperate.
I'm just hoping someone can guide me in the right direction. I'm so fucking angry. I changed who i was to be a good dad and this woman thinks she's god and can just take her from me at a whim.
I'm sorry for ranting, I'm very emotional right now. | openai_summarize |
I have been seeing a guy for 2 months and I wanted to talk to him about what we are but he canceled the date for a family emergency that will take him out of state all week and said he'd let me know when he's back. What do I do? | Summarize the following paragraph: Hey, so I have been dating this guy for a little over 2 months and we haven't put a label on things but we see each other a few nights a week. He's met my roommates and I have spoken to his friend on the phone (he called while we were hanging out and he put it on speaker). So here's the thing. I want him to start meeting my friends and maybe talking about what we are. I have asked him if he wanted to hang out with my friends before and he has declined due to other plans. I was going to talk to him this week about it but he canceled because a family member passed and he has to travel home for the week (its out of state). I told him I'm sorry and here if he needs anything and he said he'd let me know when's hes back to reschedule. But here's the thing I don't know how to handle this, should I text him this week to see how he's doing? Do I just leave it alone? I have this irrational fear that he's never going to talk to me again and I know I'm just being paranoid but I would really appreciate any and all advice. Thank you! | openai_summarize |
My parents want me to spend more time with my boyfriend, but it’s hard for me to do when I’m home and have to do my job. My boyfriend is mad that I should come to visit him and help out at his college. | Summarize the following paragraph: What do I do when I’m stuck between my duties as a daughter and my duties as girlfriend?
I’m 22 years old but have always lived at home. My parents and I are first generation immigrants so they depend on me to do all their errands. I have always followed their rules because I figured it is only right since I do live under their roof.
It is now conflicting with everything else because I do not have time to go out with my boyfriend of more than a year and a half. He wants me to spend more time with him but most of the time it’s interrupted by errands I am sent on to do by my family. Other times I’m just to tired or not in the mood to go out, instead I want to snuggle on a couch with my boyfriend but we are constantly interrupted by others.
Another problem that arises is that I am not allowed to sleep out of my house; according to my parents it is not “appropriate.” So when my boyfriend asks me to go up to visit him at his college which is in another state my parents say no because I’m not supposed to until I’m married. I don't know if that is normal..?
He came every weekend the past semester, and came to town now, during his holiday, and rented a room from my aunt. He gets mad, saying that I should try to make things equal, meaning that I should come and visit him at least a few times each semester. He always comes to help my family out with things, and they have known him for more than a year, say they like him. He helps them with things around the house, picking up my sister from school when they ask, etc. My mother tells me not to trust him too much, because you can never trust anyone, really.
What do I do? If I don’t follow my parents rules I feel guilty but if I do I feel extremely guilty with my boyfriend. I want to marry him, so I want to make them all happy. Do you think he is asking too much? | openai_summarize |
Boyfriend feels that he and his girlfriend don't agree on most big points (morals, religion, politics). | Summarize the following paragraph: Hi,
So as a 17yr old, I understand that a lot of this kind of stuff might not be important since we're both still developing world views, but I feel as if we're already so polarized that we aren't really compatible. We disagree on everything from moral, political, and religious issues. (It's not like we hate each other; I know I love her very much so, and I believe she loves me as much as I love her.)
We share a lot of similar activity interests like anything beach related, movies, sports, but I feel like I can't talk to her about anything important because outside of our activities it seems like we don't agree on anything. Should I stick it out and see if we can reach common ground? Should I break up with her and see if anything changes in the future? (Since we're both pretty young I figure theres a lot of room for growth, but our starting points are extraordinarily far apart and we're both kinda set in our beliefs right now.)
Additional background that may or may not be relevant:
*I'm a senior and leaving for college this summer. She would like to continue the relationship, and I do as well, but I hear load of horror stories and the success stories are few.
*I don't want to describe her as unstable, but she has a lot of family issues right now and started cutting. She's currently gone 1 mo. without cutting.
*I'm very cost-reward motivated, so if this has a 1% chance of going through I'm unlikely to continue with it.
*Whenever I talk about my viewpoints I feel like she shuts them down. But thats a very subjective arguing point and probably irrelevant. | openai_summarize |
I am looking for advice on how to propose to a girl I just met. I don't know what to say to her, but I dont want to mess it up. | Summarize the following paragraph: I will keep this short because it is kind of a dumb question! I was in my first relationship for 3 years...and it started pretty easily because my EX was pretty blatantly interested in me. Now I am single. Anyways, this girl is someone I saw all through college, but she was dating someone, then I was dating someone. We always waved and said hello to eachother. Last Monday at the senior party, I finally asked for her number, and I got it! In my drunkenness however, I just put it in my phone and never sent her anything. Later that night, I was walking back and saw her walking alone. I offered to walk her back, and so we ended up sitting on her porch and talking for an hour and a half. (about everything, and what I am about to say next, she knows) I went home the next day for about 5 days to visit my parents. I am coming back to the area in two days, and we did say we would hang out sometime when I got back. My questions is when do I text her, and since I haven't yet..what do I say?? This is a girl I thought was the most beautiful girl on campus for 4 years, and I just don't want to mess it up XD I was in a relationship where I didn't have to work to really get her, and so I dont know what to do now...but I really like this girl! | openai_summarize |
Had feelings for my hook up, told her I liked her and was attached, but now I feel like she is attached to me. | Summarize the following paragraph: As I said before in a previous, I wanted to just have sex with this girl, but I had a change of heart since she really seemed to like me a lot by being an overly attached girlfriend (which I didn't like but now I miss) and I decided to be honest with her, she was a little upset but didn’t change feelings towards me.
We kept talking; 2 days later she asked me if I still wanted to have sex? I was happy that she was fine with that and it was her suggestion, I said yeah and the day before meeting up we kissed a couple times and I really liked it and started feeling some type of way towards her.
Next day, she comes over and things got heated despite my p*nis not being able to get in after multiple tries. later that day our conversations weren’t as frequent which made me feel sad, realizing this I asked her if something was wrong, she later revealed to me that she had some regrets after what "happened" (she didn’t know why) I felt bad although I didn’t forced her to do anything.
2 days ago I confessed to her I liked her and was attached to her. She was confused since I’ve been reminding her from the beginning not to get attached to me since I’m not looking for anything serious. So now I looked a little hypocritical. Hence she told me that she wasn’t attached to me since I told her to not get attached (Which clearly is a lie since she str8 up told me before she was attached to me and even was starting to have feelings for me and it was her saying “I love you” that stared this whole conversation).
Now she’s being all complicated: not texting, not wanting us to talk anymore but called me around midnight, wanted to see me today , sending me kiss emojis, but replied “k” when I sent her a message. JackieChanWTFmeme | openai_summarize |
I'm a depressed guy who has no friends, no girlfriend and no prospects of being happy. I think I have to look for a way out. | Summarize the following paragraph: Im a 17 year old guy (18 next week) from the UK and haven't had any real friends since I was a young child and have never had a girlfriend.
Although I suffer from anxiety and depression, I consider myself to be a socially confident person and can hold a good conversation with anyone. But nobody ever seems to truly like me, I'm literally just a person to talk to in class and that's it. Everyone that I talk to in class literally ignores me after no more than 10 mins everytime I try talking to them online. I make an effort with everyone (without being needy) but don't get any results.
As for getting a girlfriend I've lost all hope. I know that isn't the right attitude to have, but physically im not even kind of attractive by the majority of girls' standards and it's not like im a comedian so my personality certainly doesn't make up for it. I already work out and make an effort with my appearence, and although I'm a kind and caring person im definitely not the typical 'nice guy' that has no game. I've also made an effort with various girls to make things happen so this isn't just empty speculation.
Is there any way out of this? Although I know I'm not perfect, I can't really see where I'm going wrong. Surely I should be having at least some success? As time goes on the loneliness is really getting to me which is just worsening my depression, which its worth noting I am undergoing treatment for. | openai_summarize |
I once had shingles and told one doctor, now research firm wants me for shingles study. Did doctor tell? Is that legal? | Summarize the following paragraph: I am currently 19 years old. Back when I was 8, my family was on vacation and I had a shingles outbreak. It never got to a terrible stage but we contacted our family physician (Dr. Herpina for our ease) and she gave temporary advice and instructions until we could get back in town. (Only a day or two later I believe). Once back in town, it was treated and I have never had problems with it since that time. It was 11 years ago so the details are a bit vague but I do know that Dr. Herpina was the only physician my family ever contacted about my shingles.
Fast Forward 11 years. This is where it gets interesting... I was home from school last weekend and my mom told me I had a message. I listened to it and was a bit puzzled. It was from a local research firm that was experimenting with shingles. They called and asked if I would be part of a study but I had to be going through an "episode". I respectfully declined, mostly cause I haven't had an "episode" since the original.
But here is my question... how the fuck did this research firm know I once had shingles? Only one physician knew... does this mean she is handing out personal info? If so, how is that legal with the whole "doctor-patient relationship"? | openai_summarize |
Still in love with my ex, at the end of the year it turned out we didn't have the freedom to see each other and now I'm heartbroken and I don't know what to do. | Summarize the following paragraph: Hello, quick background my ex and I were together for 2 years and then I went to college. We made the long distance work, but it took its toll and by the end the year we were struggling to cope with not having the freedom to see each other. I broke up with him, hoping that doing so I was salvaging any possible friendship/relationship that might be in the future. But If i'm being completely honest I was young and scared that when he too went to college he would cheat on me or meet someone else.
Its been a year or so, and I've got on with my life but I still think about him constantly, just wondering if on a day to day he's okay.
We still chat but very rarely, which I think has been good for us to get some space.
Since we broke up he's become more involved in drugs and slept around. But I don't blame him for it we're not together.
But all my friends thinks he has hit rock bottom since we broke up, and the majority try laughing with me about how I dodged a bullet.
I don't know what to do, I still love him. I can see what he's become and he's not the same man but I can't change how I feel.
The way I see it telling him how I feel is a lose-lose, he still loves me but we're different people now and it won't work or he doesn't feel the same and I'm heartbroken all over again. | openai_summarize |
Have a conversation hour, interested in the teacher but she's actually a student here! Could use advice to ask her out or wait until later on! | Summarize the following paragraph: She's not really my *teacher* sort of.
I'm taking French at my college right now and we have something called an oral proficiency hour where french students on the same level go to the class go at a certain time once a week to practice speaking french and do activities to enhance our speaking ability.
This class is run by a student who is taking advanced classes in that specific area of language: French, Spanish, Italian... you get the idea.
She's a student here, but she's the instructor for this period of time and the second I laid eyes on her, I felt enticed. I really want to get to know her and see what she's about. We did an activity of musical chairs and it was blatantly obvious- to me anyway- she wanted me to win as she would pause the playlist when I was comfortable to grab a seat.
I DON'T even know her name, her major, anything about her really yet outside of she clearly knows her french. I really want to get to know her though.
Is it weird to ask out someone that technically is your "teacher" ?
If so, what's the best way to go about it? Just talk to her after class a bit, get to know her a little, and then pop the question? Or should I wait until the end of this semester/class for all that?
Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it! | openai_summarize |
Boyfriend's female best friend got him a bday gift that probably cost more than what I got him and I feel a little weird. | Summarize the following paragraph: Back story, we've been together two years. I don't make a ton of money but I always try my best to get my bf something really nice even if it means I don't get to shop for myself for a bit. I got him a nice watch this year, which he loved. It wasn't super pricey but it was for me.
My bf hung out with his best friend since high school last night and she gave him his gift, and it was a signed hockey puck of his favorite player. I'm not 100% sure but I'm willing to bet it cost more than the watch I got him. He texted me about it saying she got him "the best birthday gift." What made it even worse it that on our third date I gave him a signed picture of the same player that I got in person a few years ago just because I didn't really want it anymore and I knew he'd love it.
I don't have any problem with his best friend, she's nice and they've been friends forever and I get that. I just feel a little slighted here because I feel like a girlfriend's gift should be something way more extravagant than one from a friend. And the way he reacted to her gift just made me feel a little meh. Am I being totally stupid and ridiculous? | openai_summarize |
Got all my flaws pointed out to me in front of class - jokingly, but kinda hurtful. | Summarize the following paragraph: Today at class. We had free lesson with set task to do. Naturally most of us ignored it. People were chatting around being funny and generally laughing all the time. One girl, pointed out that i was wearing low socks. Kinda like [these]( And asked me if I like girls jokingly. Of course they knew the answer (Straight). Then they kept pointing out all my flaws. That they would like me with darker hair, i am with light hair, kinda blondish. That they don't like that i wear glasses. That my pimples on face are too much. (Improved by 90%) That my teeth are not straight or something in that matter. At this point I was like "Yeah, keep going" and stopped listening. I know they were mostly kidding, and I played it off like it was cool joke, but i was hurt. I knew most of the things were true. I never had a girlfriend and this just makes it worse. I don't know what should I do. I got many friends at school in my class. I just felt generally bad about myself.
So i am not here for you to feel sorry for me, I just want know some of your stories. | openai_summarize |
I think my BF might be cheating or looking to cheat because I'm not comfortable doing the sexual act he all of a sudden has a fetish for. | Summarize the following paragraph: Recently, I feel like I don't know who my BF is anymore, and it's causing quite a bit of anxiety.
We've been together for a long time 5+ years, and we have a good relationship. However, recently I feel like he has been lying to me and hiding things.
he has never been a good liar, and he still isn't, but he refuses to tell me or alludes that there is anything wrong or that something is going on.
I did what any panicky woman would do, and I looked at his phone.
We both look at each others phones, and have never had a problem. However, now there are some numbers that I don't recognize, that are not listed on his contacts but have 20+ minutes for the call length.
He also started searching things online via incognito mode.
Then today, he told me he would like to try something new sexually which we have joked about in the past. He tells me that he wants to do it, and that it would make him happy even though in the past I told him that I wouldn't really be interested in doing things like it.
There is also the problem of him not being able to maintain an erection. This has happened before, but now I feel like it might be because he only wants to do this new sexual act, and that perhaps he has been looking for someone else to fulfill it or that he has found someone already to fulfill it.
I'm just at a loss of what to do. We are very big with communication. He tells me he loves me, he is only with me, and that he would never dream of being with anyone else.
I just don't know what my next step should be, or what I should do or if I should even do anything and just trust in what he is telling me.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated! | openai_summarize |
Ex is a total dick. Need advice on how to get over him.** | Summarize the following paragraph: Back story: My ex and I dated last September through December, but have been talking nearly every day and hooking up continuously. Bad idea? Yes, but moving on.
Last night, we were at the same party and he starts dancing with a girl he's told me several times is more attractive than me, wants to hookup with her, etc. They start dancing, touching, and eventually nuzzling and kissing right in front of me. She leaves, and then he comes over to me and tries to start being attentive and hookup with me as well even though up until this point he didn't acknowledge me being at the party. So I yell at him, shove him away, delete his number from my phone and leave with my friends, crying all the way.
I've talked to the girl who kissed him, she feels awful and was drunk when it happened. He hasn't attempted to contact me. I've decided to cut him out entirely, but I could really use r/breakup's advice to getting over him finally and feeling better.
*I should mention that this is the first time he's even done this, and previously we had an unspoken agreement that hooking up with other people in front of each other isn't cool by any means. | openai_summarize |
Photobombed a group of men at a football game, they thought I was flipping them off, when I was actually just picking my nose. Gave it to the photographer, who thought I was flipping him off in the same photo. | Summarize the following paragraph: This past weekend I photobombed a group of 4 60ish-year-old guys at a football game. I was in the background of their shot - picking my nose and making a face - on purpose. They didnt realize at first and sent it to someone, who then must have seen me and relayed back the false claim that I was flipping them off. The photographer then freaked out at me, shouting "did you really have to do that!?" and calling me an asshole. I denied it and played dumb, and when he offered to show me the photo I informed him (upon inspection) that I was just picking my nose. He seemed to calm down a bit after discovering I really wasnt flipping him off, but then his friend chimed in, taking my photo now with his phone and saying "douchebag" as he pressed capture. I asked that guy why he wouldnt just take another picture? Its not as if I had wasted actual film, and they were in the exact same position as the initial photo just 10 minutes before. I feel that their reaction was over dramatic, but I did apologize. I also should have owned the fact that it was a prank, but nontheless I think it spoiled the afternoon and I just dont know how to feel about it. Thoughts anyone? | openai_summarize |
Great relationship. Boyfriend has only ever slept with me. Scared to think about the future because of this. Am I being silly? | Summarize the following paragraph: To start off I would like to say we have a great relationship. There is very little conflict, we have never really been in big fights, we rather handle things directly and as soon as possible, we never go to bed mad, we trust each other entirely, no jealousy, we are always on the same page, and really? It's my idea of perfect.
We have been dating for 5 years now. I have been in relationships with three other people in the past. Though he has been with other people he never had sex with them where I did with my ex boyfriends. He fooled around with them, but never had sex.
We have talked about a future together. We know we would both like to have kids, get married one day, stay together for as long as possible. Currently out big plans are a little smaller and we will be moving in with each other once we get a little more organized with out money (both students). He tells me very bluntly that he is not going anywhere nor does he want to ever.
My problem is I am scared to continue thinking about a life together. I panic and I don't think it is possible seeing as he has only had sex with me. I fear he will tire of me one day (even though our sex life is amazing to say the least).
Am I being silly? Has anyone has experience with this? Do you think it is possible? | openai_summarize |
Ex said she is open to going on a date with me - thinking of doing a drive-in-cinema in the car hoping it will be as close to the real thing. Ideas? | Summarize the following paragraph: Hey guys
My ex and I broke up a few months ago after being together for 4 years. In the last month or so we have started talking and met up occasionally as friends and have had great fun, just the way we used to have.
So we were speaking last week and I mentioned that we should go on a date and she said yes, but she didnt want to feel like she was being pressured right back into the exact same relationship, because we had some problems but we have both worked on those issues. The only thing is, obviously its a little different for us because we know everything about each other bar how we've changed the last few months. But after meeting her a few times I feel like she is still the same girl I fell in love with.
Anyway, I had an idea for a date and wanted some opinions on it. Would be greatly appreciated. She has always wanted to go to a drive-in-cinema in the past but were we live they just come by very often. My idea was to message her and tell her that we're going out on -random day- and to bring a blanket and some pillows for the car. Then I was going to get her favourite food and bring it with us and my tablet and go somewhere quiet and watch a movie on the tablet in the car with the food. Hoping that it has some of the same atmosphere that would be at a drive in theatre. I'm hoping it would be original and possibly romantic.
I posted this in dating advice too but I didn't know if i should post it here too hoping that more people could see it and generate some input on this.
What do you think? | openai_summarize |
GF gets messages from former "friend" from long time ago that she keeps on her phone. Does this bother me? I don't want to seem demanding/demanding. | Summarize the following paragraph: I'll try to keep this short.
My girlfriend gets messages (dirty) from an old friend that she keeps on her phone. Doesn't straight out tell him to stop, but keeps it in case he goes too far and she has proof of harassment. I know because we were playing on her phone and I saw a line I questioned. She then explained it to me. This was a few weeks into the relationship.
It eats at me. Is it right for me to 1) Ask to see what the conversations are like (she does message him, but is short), 2) Ask her to tell him to ef off, or 3) Get her to let me confront him.
Everything besides this blip is great, but it is one that bothers me a lot. I just want to deal with it without coming off as crazy/demanding/etc.
Thanks in advance! | openai_summarize |
How do I avoid this at other jobs? I don't like to lie about my disease, but I just say I have food allergies to simplify things until they start bothering me about it. (which they always do) But I feel like people think I am being rude because I won't eat their food and can't go out to eat. | Summarize the following paragraph: I work as a contract worker at this large corporation. My contract ends in 2 weeks. I am sort of bitter because they originally promised a much much longer employment period. And I asked them many times to be clear before taking the job.
Oh well.
Here's the situation. They are hiring new people (As I exit of course...) and want to take everyone out for lunch all the time. I have a disease that limits my diet. A lot. My biggest problem going out to eat is that I can't have soy, which is in everything. I also can't have tomatoes or fruit, so there goes a lot of alternatives. I also can't drink alcohol. But this doesn't affect my work, and I have learned to deal with it. It is not a normal food allergy. (Being near the food doesn't matter. It is only when I digest it. It puts me in massive amounts of pain. It's pretty bad and not worth it.)
Recently, I asked my coworkers where my boss planned on taking everyone out, and they started acting like it rude that I was considering not going. I just said, "Do you know where X is taking everyone for lunch?"
Honestly, I would just sit there and drink water. I can only go out to eat at like 2 restaurants, and I absolutely don't expect them to cater to me. And I am leaving in two weeks anyways. I never felt like part of the team...and I often eat lunch alone.
They also get a lot of free food here. Cakes, cookies, you name it. Of course, I can't eat any of it, and they act like I'm being rude even though I know the situation.They'll get annoyed and say, "WHAT CAN YOU EAT?" I usually try to joke and say "I know right?" But they seem annoyed. Trust me, coworkers, it sucks for me more than you. | openai_summarize |
I found the girl who hit on me at the bar VERY attractive and I liked her personality a lot. I cannot get her out of my head. Love wife more. Will the feeling go away? | Summarize the following paragraph: So I was at my local dive bar and was having a beer, walking back and forth between the DJ (my sister) and my friends at the bar when I was stopped by two women. One (not as attractive) started talking to me and asking me questions. The other (much more attractive), much to my surprise was a bit shy at first but soon revealed that she was the one who wanted to stop me.
She began flirting with me and flat out saying that she found me very attractive, and I'm sure had the night proceeded would have wanted more than just a brief conversation. I found her very attractive and very like able. We had a lot in common. I informed her that I was married and had a daughter and that was the end of the conversation. Here's my problem. I've recently lost a lot of weight and have become more appealing to others I'm sure, so I've never had anyone come onto me as strongly as she did (at least not by such an attractive woman). I can't stop thinking about her. To be honest, I kind of liked her. Now, I love my wife VERY much and wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my relationship with her. I came home, told her about the scenario, maybe wasn't 1000% honest about the exact proceedings, but I told her all that was said. | openai_summarize |
Noticed red flags which has ruined my trust for my girlfriend, is it worth bringing up and trying to salvage the relationship or should I just end it now? | Summarize the following paragraph: I love my girlfriend a lot and I know she feels the same way back. Lately I've been stressing heavily over some of the red flags that I have noted throughout our relationship and I need advice on whether this is worth continuing or just better to end it now.
Major red flag - 6 months into our relationship and out at a gay bar with her and some of her friends. This gay guy begins talking to the group before eventually starting to hook up with her for about 5 seconds. I got mad. Next day she apologized profusely saying she was drunk.
More recently I read messages to an old ex saying that she can't meet up with him when she went out that night because shes afraid she would be drunk and kiss him.
There is also a guy friend she insists are only mates, yet recently she deleted their text message conversation which was unusual but I didn't bring it up because of feeling over-controlling.
This is my first major relationship and 99% of the time we get along great, I love her and suspect I may be just trying to block out these red flags but am not sure.
Are these trust issues I'm feeling worth bringing up and discussing with her or is it too late?
Any advice/experience will be greatly appreciated, Thanks! | openai_summarize |
Have a girlfriend with a guy friend who are really close they kiss on the cheek and hold hands and being a former friend zone expert I know what he wants, how do I handle the situation. | Summarize the following paragraph: My entire life I have been known as "The Best Friend". I am really nice to women, and to my dismay that back fires many times when I get romantically interested in them. Little Background on me Im a 5'11 220 pound big guy... So naturally there are some self confidence things, but overall I am happy with myself. After joining a Fraternity and spending two years working on myself and having some escapades with women I finally found a great girlfriend. Everything is wonderful, she is smart,funny,witty,charming, and beautiful. There is however one problem, she has a guy friend from high school that she was really close with that she has not seen for a while. Well he came back into her life yesterday and they have a tendency to kiss on the cheek and hold hands and things of that nature. Not to be super jealous boyfriend, however I have been in that position of the guy friend and I don't really trust him. Living an hour away from her further makes my trust for him diminish, Is there something I should say or do to express my trust for her but my displeasure for the high school romantic friendly gestures. | openai_summarize |
too shy to approach my crush, afraid to talk to him, how do I approach him?
Thank you in advance. | Summarize the following paragraph: I met a guy at tech support and he works near my favorite hang out. He's kind of cute and seems kind of nerdy. I really want to talk to him, but I'm really shy and anxious.
He takes breaks outside and I used to run into him coincidentally, but twice I purposely walked passed hoping I'd be brave enough to say something. Once he have me "the look" and I was so stunned I froze. What doesn't help is I have a resting bitch face.
I wasn't mean to him when he talked to me about my computer, but I'm afraid I sent a mixed message. I smiled at him one day, but I don't know if he saw. Should I try to approach him? How would I do that? | openai_summarize |
I'm on a break with my SO who wants to get our relationship back together and I'm trying to think of a way to make things better. | Summarize the following paragraph: I don't know if this is allowed here, but I've been on a break with my SO for a straight week. It's very strange going this long without talking. He's made it very clear that when he's ready he wants to work things out and that he does not want to break up.
We both have our problems. I'm a little hard around the edges, and have been a little mean trying to motivate him but (as I realize now) tearing him down instead. I am also bipolar, anxious, impulsive. All of which I intend to work on because I really don't want to lose him He has a hard time saying no to me, which seems great but when he disagrees with me and doesn't say anything, he bottles it up and I am unable to fix anything. I must do a million things that bother him and he won't tell me! He also loves arriving late and although he's been trying really hard recently has spent that last year in either an unstable job or no job.
All of that aside, as a statement of "I wish you would tell me what you want" and "I really want to work with you to get our relationship in a good place again" I am taking like three packs of post-its and writing little coupons on them. Any ideas? | openai_summarize |
Girlfriend wants me to cut her for sexual pleasure, I can not do that. | Summarize the following paragraph: Hi, So we met each other online a little over three years ago. We decided we wanted to date a little over a year ago. I have visited her and she has visited me. She suffers from depression and has a long history of cutting and hurting herself in other ways.
Recently she has told me that the only way she can feel any sexual pleasure is from paint, more precisely cutting.
She has asked me if i could cut her, I told her i can not do it.
I could not hurt her, i don't want to hurt her, I could not handle the blood, more scars or always having open cuts.I have said i would be willing to try other things to try and do it for her, biting,Etc. First she said she was okay with that and now she no longer is. This is causing us to get into arguments, I dont what to do.. Please help.
Note**- She has and is seeing a therapist, Is also on medicine for depression. | openai_summarize |
Got in a fight with my arrogant druggy brother, don't know what I should do going forward | Summarize the following paragraph: Im 16, going to be a junior in a highschool. My brother is 20, and has had a troubled record. Been known to be a big pot head and speed user. Has been addicted to cigarettes and admitted to trying cocaine.
Long story short, he's not that well in the head, he was even arrested once for who knows what. Well our relationship has never been that good. I'm writing this while still heated though, because just an hour or so ago we got in a fist fight. It was really a stupid argument but he got heated and suddenly came at me. In public. Yea some people threatened to call the police. After we tussled for a little bit my mother and some of her lady friends managed to calm us down. Yet everytime we would be separated he would again try and come at me, because I didnt "respect" him. Now the problem is, he's home with us for the summer, and I'm not sure what to do about our problem.
It's a general consensus around my family that he's not exactly right in the head. My father himself several years ago had to wrestle him down... He's been a trouble child, even tried to run away from home for awhile as a teen.
Sorry this is turning into a little rant... But I'm not sure what to do. Do I ignore him, do I try and make concessions to heal our relationship(which I really don't think will work). | openai_summarize |
I started lifting weights, my BF doesn't like the muscle gain. Should I stop going to the gym? | Summarize the following paragraph: I’ve been active all my life, playing multiple sports, but the past few years I focused on running. My boyfriend is a long distance runner and takes good care of himself. Last January I got injured and couldn’t run for a while. The physiotherapist suggested going to the gym to train my core and back muscles. It turned out I looove lifting weights. I feel so badass doing overhead presses, and feeling badass makes me incredibly happy.
I’ve always been slim, especially my upper body. Since I started going to the gym, I’ve gained 4kg muscle weight. Which is most clear on my upper body. I’m not small anymore, but I’m by no means broad. My boyfriend says I’m gaining too much muscle, and that he doesn’t find muscular woman attractive. He says he still thinks I’m beautiful, but he also that how I look now is kind of the limit of what he finds attractive.
Now I’m not sure what to do. I know you can’t change what you find attractive. If he would gain weight in fat, I wouldn’t find him that attractive anymore. But I love going to the gym, I love heavy weightlifting. I don’t go to the gym to change my body, I go to the gym to challenge and push myself. I go weight lifting because it makes me feel so good and I truly like getting stronger every week. I know I've gained muscle mass, and I don't necessarily think it looks good on me, but it kind of cool since it's a result of getting stronger. I don’t want to give up my new found hobby, but I also want my BF to find me attractive. He would never ask me to stop weight lifting, but brings my muscles up every week. Should I stop going to the gym? What to do? | openai_summarize |
How do I maintain a friendship with a close friend who is now a 3 hour drive away from my own university? | Summarize the following paragraph: Background: I met him last semester and realized that we happened to pick all the exact same classes. We spent a lot of time together mostly on school work, but we occasionally played video games and went out to eat when there's time. We grew close over time and would talk to each other everyday, even if it's about nothing. I was really surprised but it felt like we've became really close friends in such a short amount of time. Then, he decided to take this semester off to do an internship, and all of a sudden we stopped talking and hanging out. This makes sense since he's now a 3 hour drive away from campus, but I was hoping we could continue talking daily. At first we would still talk for a bit, but not as much as before. But now we barely speak to each other, maybe once every week. I really enjoyed his company last term and I want to keep our friendship strong so that next semester we can continue to be good friends and pick up where we left off. How can I maintain our friendship? | openai_summarize |
My girlfriend left about 10 days ago, been missing her very much then out of nowhere I did not miss her as much, is this normal? | Summarize the following paragraph: I am not sure if this is the place for advice about this topic but here we go. Keep in mind we're both 19
My girlfriend and I have been through quite a lot over the past 4 months, been together for about 2 months now and I gotta say that I am pretty crazy about her, until I began to question myself, she flew back to the states for two months for summer vacation while I stayed (Southern asian country) for summer classes. We're both in college and both of us are from the States.
Now, my problem is. I've been missing her very much ever since she left, which was roughly 10 days ago and suddenly it hit me, very random thought, I don't miss her as much. I still have feelings for her and everything but it was a very random and instantaneous thought and feeling. Yet I still see her as someone who fits pretty well with me.
So, is this normal, is it because I am getting used to her gone? I am very confused and really looking for someone who is in or was in a similar situation. I want to know if people go through this a lot.
I'm sorry if I'm the wrong subreddit. | openai_summarize |
Friend's daughter slept on the floor of their bedroom. I went to bed and can't sleep.** | Summarize the following paragraph: I stayed at a friend from college's house last night as I was visiting her city. She and her husband have been friends of mine for years, we're very close. It was a wonderful evening, we had a great dinner, wine, etc. Their teenage daughter (she's 16) hung out with us as well, she's an awesome young lady and was very much at home making conversation with the adults. All in all I went to bed quite happy.
Things got strange in the middle of the night. It was maybe two in the morning and I got up to use the bathroom. I'd been staying in their guest bedroom, which is on the first floor of the house, but in my grogginess climbed the stairs to use the second floor bathroom. As I'm coming out, I see someone come out of my friend's bedroom. And it's their daughter. And she's naked. I was basically at a loss for words...we said hello really awkwardly and she bolted into the bathroom. I went back to the guest room and didn't sleep for the rest of the night. I left before they got up as I had to catch an early plane.
Now I'm back home and I have no idea what the hell to do. The BEST-CASE scenario that I can think of is that they're nudists and I just don't know about it and their daughter was for some reason sleeping on the floor of their room. But that seems like a huge stretch. It makes me feel awful to type it out, but I can't help but believe that there is something sexual happening between my friend, her husband, and their daughter. I haven't heard anything from my friend, so either her daughter didn't tell her what happened or else my friend is hoping I'll ignore it. I have no idea how to handle this, I would really appreciate some input. | openai_summarize |
Girlfriend and I broke up, she's going through some family issues and wants space. What should I do? | Summarize the following paragraph: Mostly everything has been really great so far (we say I love you, very compatible, etc.).
I won't sugar coat it. There have been some strains on our relationship. One being I was going through a hard time awhile back and was probably pretty unpleasant to be around (although we seemed to have made it through that).
My girlfriend recently became my supervisor at work and we are no longer allowed to date under corporate policy. So we had officially broken up because of that. Coincidentally she starts going through some serious family issues shortly after this and says she needs some space. Now we've gone on a break.
I feel like a sucker reddit. Even her best friend thinks we've broken up. It seems like whatever story the bff has, is the correct one. I expressed this to her and added that she doesn't need to pretend for me, we can really break up if that's what she wants. She told me she wants to get back together after she gets her life sorted out and will not sleep with anyone else. | openai_summarize |
got a job working at JCP for the last 2 weeks all the guys i work with have been making gay comments and anti-Semitic comments. I do not report them. I say 2 dumb things to them they lie and report me to get my fired after finding out i am gay. | Summarize the following paragraph: Hey guys i need your advice here. I just started working at JCP about 2 weeks ago i love the job and most of the people i work with but I do happen to be Jewish and gay. There is a black guy i work with who likes to claim he is the only black person that works at JCP because all the other black people are actually from afica and not mississippi or something. He is also very anti-gay I made a comment about some cute girl shoes and he went off on me about that for like 10 min using word like "its just not right" and sissy. he then went into a 45 min long rant about how he is the only black person and all this other shit just comparing races and talking about food stamps and black people money. shit like that so finally after all this time of him standing around not working watching me straighten up the shelfs I look at him and say well maybe we can post of signs in North and get more black people to work here or I could come black face to work for you so you could have someone you like working with. I said it jokingly and he got a laugh out of it. later that day when i was helping some guy with woman shoes for him self I think he figured out that i was infact gay so here is what he did.
Reported me for making a raciest comment to him.
Made up a lie about me saying he should get a black shirt to match his face.
Had another coworker report me for referring to shoes as " bitches" which is not true.
Had some guy report me for what i said to him when opening the store the other day. He made some kind comment not sure what he said when he had a pile of one dollar bills in his hand. I said who strip club money? and he laughed. But now he is offended by the comment because he knows i am gay. | openai_summarize |
If some choices are possible, but not probable, shouldn't at least one universe exist where a version of you makes the worst decision possible? Is it possible that I'm being forced to make bad decisions in at least some of those branch universes? | Summarize the following paragraph: One of the multiverse models says that for every decision you are able to make, a new universe branches off for each potential outcome of that decision. Is it even remotely possible that some actions are the result of the Shittiest Possible Universe branching off from whatever Prime Universe you may have previously been on?
If I have options for what to eat for lunch, in most universes I might get fast food; in others I might go to the grocery store; but statistically, there must be some universe wherein I kill a hobo and feast upon him down under the turnpike. To any observer in that improbable -- but not impossible -- universe, I would have done something so uncharacteristic of my past behavior that it defies explanation. Even I wouldn't necessarily know why I had made that decision, it was just one of the many options that existed.
The other day I did something so stupid that I couldn't believe I had consciously made the decision to do it at the time. The more I thought about it, the more I was positive that I did not *actually* make the decision to do it; instead it was something that I simply did despite my brain leaning toward other choices that I had available to me at the time. The notion that I, for the briefest of moments, did not have free will (or autonomous agency or whatever you call it) was terrifying. | openai_summarize |
Should I take a job despite having intentions of quitting within 2-4 weeks? | Summarize the following paragraph: I have just been offered a contract job for a large tech company that I don't want to take, however the position starts next week and I need cash. I am currently in the interview and hiring process with 3 other potentially great places. I need some money ASAP, as my savings are running out. Here are some points against this company, and the job itself.
1) The job has an extremely high turnover rate. They are hiring people left and right because the hours are horrible for the pay.
2) the shift is 6am-3pm, Wednesday-Sunday, and "Attendance is our #1 priority."
3) you cannot have more than 2 days off during the 90 day contract period, without an excuse, which means Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc. I would have to work.
4) I only get to see my family on holidays.
5) My commute would be 45-60 minutes.
6) They reserve any and all rights to let me go at any time, for any reason. At the same time I am also allowed to leave whenever I want.
The other job opportunities are still in negotiations/Interviews and I really want this to go well, but I need something in the meantime. | openai_summarize |
I am a 19 y/o girl and my SO is 19. We're not in a relationship yet but we have very serious feelings for each other. I want to have sex on the first night to see him and I'm not sure whether or not this is a bad idea. | Summarize the following paragraph: I'm a 19 y/o female and my SO is 19. We are not technically in a relationship, because we have only known each other for about a month. What we do know though, is that we have very serious feelings for each other that could potentially become so much more. As crazy as it sounds I know that i'm deeply in love with this person and he feels the same way about me. We're very comfortable with each other and we've basically concluded within this month that we are right for each other, and that the emotional aspect of the 'relationship' is sorted out. The physical part of it is what i'm confused about.
I'm deeply in love with this person and I know he feels the same way about me. I want this relationship to work and we plan to see each other in three months time. I'm a little concerned regarding having sex on the first night though. He would only be able to stay for two nights and all the anticipation of wanting to see him and all the emotions makes me want to sleep with him on the first night but another part of me feels like this might not be a good idea? I know he would want it the first night but for some reason I feel like it's considered a 'first date' and you know what they say about that. I'd really like to hear what you guys have to say about this. The next time I would see him would be during the summer, which is about 6-7 months after seeing him. | openai_summarize |
Relationship stuttering, not sure how to tell if I want to stay in it mainly out of comfort. | Summarize the following paragraph: We are both juniors in college and have been together since the first week of freshman year. She is really fantastic and has been my best friend. However, I have never been in a serious relationship before and am not sure if I should end this. I feel tied down both sexually and socially by the relationship. I have tried to suppress this because I really like her but its been coming out and its led to me being a shitty boyfriend. Yesterday she decided that she wanted a few days break from our relationship. I'm actually feeling alright with single life at the moment but still love her and would hate to lose her as a friend. On one hand I think I am just experiencing a grass is greener feeling but on the other I am feeling that I want to stay with her just because its the more comfortable thing to do (I've been with her all of college). I could take her out on a date this weekend and try to mend things or simply break up with her and I have no idea what to do. | openai_summarize |
– Cute, female co-worker’s fart interrupts a very important meeting and I claim it like a boss in front of my boss so he promotes me to an actual boss. | Summarize the following paragraph: There were around 12 of us sitting at a conference table listening to our creative director lay out the 4th quarter marketing plan when the unthinkable happened: a rippling, juicy, Bronx cheer like none I’ve ever heard before erupted from my side of the table. It was quickly followed by a smell that was not unlike a mix of rotten durian and fermenting garbage. As the noxious aroma dispersed throughout the conference room, my fellow co-workers, and my director—who had gone completely silent in mid-presentation—all shot me looks of disgust and anger.
I was about to deny my part in this most heinous of workplace no-no’s, but not before I was able to sneak a glance to my right and see the female co-worker sitting next to me, staring down at her notes, and quietly shaking. For the briefest of moments, she looked up, met my glance, and her guilty eyes were desperately pleading with me to not say anything. I did her one better; I uttered, “Excuse me,” with all the conviction I could muster.
My director shook his head in disgust and continued his presentation.
Afterward, as the meeting ended and everyone was gathering his or her things to leave, the guilty co-worker caught my arm, looked me square in the eyes, and in a quivering voice said, “Thank you”. Then she quickly exited the room and most likely headed straight to the bathroom for what I can only imagine was an amazing, olfactory-abusing bowel evacuation.
My annual review was the next day, and perhaps by coincidence, perhaps not, I was given a raise and promoted by my creative director. No mention was made of the thunderous flatulence that occurred the previous day. I’ll never know if my female co-worker’s loosey-goosey asshole is the reason for my promotion because I’m too afraid to ask. | openai_summarize |
My normally very high libido sometimes tanks for long periods of time due to environmental/medical factors. How do I balance this in a relationship? | Summarize the following paragraph: I need general advice - this is a problem I've encountered in several relationships. I'm currently single, but would like to avoid it in the future.
When I'm happy and healthy, I have a medium-high libido.
I like to have sex between twice a day to every other day, depending on how much energy I have and what's going on and all that. I do NOT like to have sex less than once a week, but I can go for about four days happily. I enjoy initiating and having my partner initiate, pretty standard stuff.
Sex is important to me in a relationship, if I feel like I'm not getting enough I get very unhappy and feel unwanted, and it needs to be good - I've had partners who were unsatisfactory before, and that was a big problem. (I didn't realize until after just HOW big it was)
When I'm unhappy or something else is affecting me, my libido takes a nose-dive.
Once an anti-depressant killed it. For six months. Five of which I was in a long-term relationship. I never wanted sex, and that killed my once-good 2-year relationship.
Another time, I was in an emotionally-abusive relationship that left me as dried up as the gobi desert. I physically couldn't get wet, we had to rely entirely on lube (normally I'm like monsoon season in south-east asia), and I was never in the mood. That time, it lasted a year. Honestly I kind of think it was my body's way of trying to make sure I didn't get pregnant in a bad situation, but still.
Luckily, my period and various forms of birth-controls haven't affected it so I think I'll be ok with kids and other hormonal changes.
But it makes me really worried. I would be unhappy with a low-libido partner, but what if I have to take meds or run into another depression, or face a big life-change that leaves me scared, and I run into another dry-spell that fucks things up with my medium/high-libido partner?
Does anyone have any experience or advice? | openai_summarize |
My girlfriend (23F) has a lot of weight issues, and I (23M) don't find sex enjoyable. How can I motivate her to lose weight? | Summarize the following paragraph: She wants to have sex all the time. For a long time she was asking me for sex every night, and quite often she would ask at least once during the day. She has started taking an anti-anxiety medication (she has very severe anxiety problems) and that has calmed her down to asking 4-5 times a week for sex. Personally, I do not enjoy sex at all, but find myself wanting to masturbate. She has put on a lot of weight in the three years we have been together, nearly 100 pounds, and I definitely feel that plays a role in it. Another problem is she tends to have a foul smell coming from her vagina. Its usually very subtle, and doesn't smell like something is wrong. The smell is just stronger than normal. How can I get her on the same page as me as far as loosing weight? I have a very fast metabolism, and would have to eat nearly 7000 calories a day to gain weight, I weigh 120 pounds while she weighs nearly 230. Is there something wrong with me that could be causing the lack of any sort of sex drive? | openai_summarize |
Have to be apart from the love of my life for a semester, how can i cope with missing him? | Summarize the following paragraph: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months. We met at school (living on the same floor) so were completely used to being together basically 24/7 and doing everything together. We absolutely adore each other and theres no doubt in my mind that he is the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.
He isn't coming back to school next semester for personal reasons, and we definitely intend on staying together. I'm certainly not worried about him cheating while were apart or anything, and I understand that his time away from school is for the better, but is there any way to cope with missing someone so much?
P.S. we already FaceTime at least once a day if possible. | openai_summarize |
Got a bill in collections, dont have much up to date information on how to handle it. Any advice on how to deal with this? | Summarize the following paragraph: Hello! I just turned 20 years old and dont really have much background on how my credit works or paying bills. I am in college and have loans but other than that nothing.
Well last year I went to the emergency room twice, the first time they just looked at me and let me go (I didnt have insurance) I ended up getting a bill in the mail and I paid it all, some of the payments were late but I did get it all paid.
The second time I went to the hospital in March I was on my moms insurance and got a bill for $300 dollars and I am still currently paying this one off as of right now it is at $175 and the minimum payment just got bumped to $100 a month because I could only pay $25 last month instead of $50 (I work at the college as an RA so no summer job).
Well if that wasnt making me worried enough I got on credit Karma and saw that I have a debt in collections! I checked it out and it is a doctor bill for $110 and says that it is active. (This is the only account on my Credit besides my student loans) I dont remember getting this bill at all and have no idea how to deal with something in collections. Is there anything I can do to check this out? I will have money late August when I get my loan check and I plan to pay off the $175 doctor bill and I will also pay off this one if it is legitimate.
Another thing! What happens if I cant meet the $100 a month payment on the $175 doctor bill? I couldnt even make the $50 dollar one last month and my mom told me that nothing would happen as long as you pay something on it every month (as low as $5 even) and they cant turn it over to collections if you are paying at least something on it. I dont really believe this but figured I would get your advice on everything!
I live in Arkansas if that matters at all!
Thank you so much! | openai_summarize |
moved to a new town, lied to friend about real first name, now want to date girl. | Summarize the following paragraph: Last year, when I moved to a new city for college, I got a part time job at a retail store.
Around January, I mentioned that my 'real' name was James Edward Smith, instead of Edward James Smith, and it's just stuck with a few co workers.
I don't recall why I said that to begin with, but now I moved on to a full time job somewhere else, but we still keep in touch.
Problem is, I want to ask her out, but she believes my 'name' is James. How can I fix this? Other than just saying, "oh, I lied 7months ago, my name really is Edward." | openai_summarize |
Guy and girl date. She cheats on him for drugs. They get SOs later. Hers cheats on her. He cheats on his new girlfriend with that ex girlfriend. I feel like an asshole for having this knowledge. | Summarize the following paragraph: (I hope this is ok here since I'm am not directly affected by this)
My friend/roommate was dating this girl for part of high school/college. They were dating for about 1.5-2 years before she went to college where she promptly turned to a huge alcoholic/drug addict and cheated on him to obtain drugs. She broke up with him but did not tell him about this. She came back down for break and they hooked up and got back together before she left back for college. Same thing happened but this time she told him what she did and they were done.
6 months later she drops out of college due to failing/drug abuse/depression. Comes back home and they start hooking up again. Around this time she told me everything (she's also a really good friend of mine and this was when I heard about everything that happened as my friend didn't tell me specifics). I tell her about how it's wrong and blah blah blah and she stops. They stop talking too. She gets a boyfriend and he gets a girlfriend, the one he's dating now.
Around 4 months later her and her boyfriend break up. He cheated on her. She and my friend start talking again and eventually start having sex again while he's still dating this girl. This goes on for at least a month before she tells me.
She says he tell her he still loves her and wants to break up with his girlfriend. She says fine but he doesn't and they continue to have sex. I tell her she needs to stop he's being an asshole to both her and the other girl just like she was being an asshole to him when she left for college. She stops it again but now, a few weeks later, I'm in my room and they are on the couch outside having sex. My male friend does not know I know anything about this. She doesn't know I know they're doing it right now.
They're both being assholes and I'm stuck being friends with them and I hate that I'm stuck talking to them when they're being such idiots and especially fucking over his current girlfriend who is absolutely lovely. I do not know what to do. I feel like an asshole for having this knowledge and letting it happen. | openai_summarize |
My mom loves her dogs more than my kids and I. I don't know how to get past this and frankly don't even want to talk to her any more. | Summarize the following paragraph: I am currently pregnant and am almost ready to have the baby. My mom lives with her husband (not my dad) and he is currently on deployment. We've known I was pregnant since the second month. During this time my mom decided to take in foster children (even though she was an abusive parent, she has since gotten a lot better).
Well she had been telling me the whole time that she was going to come down to my state and help me after the birth. She tells me today that she can't. At first I understand completely, the plane ticket is expensive, but that's not why. Then I assume it's the foster kids, which I understand as well. But that's not it either.
She doesn't want to leave her dogs.
Her fucking dogs. That's her reason. She can afford it, she doesn't care about leaving the foster kids, she just doesn't want her dogs to be without her. She even has 2 different people she can have watch them (and she told me that), but she doesn't want to do that because "The dog is old and is on meds and has to go outside to pee every 10 minutes". I am less important than the dog.
I wouldn't even be upset if it were money or the foster kids. I totally understand that, but to be told that you and your children don't matter as much as the dog does really hurts.
I know that it's my responsibility to take care of my family and all that. I would just rather she lie to me or don't even bring up flying down here.
It might be the pregnancy hormones but I'm crushed. I don't matter to my own mother. | openai_summarize |
My first gf (19 F) saw a picture of my past crush, i said it was a joke and she started thinking i have feelings for her and said it a couple weeks before we started dating. | Summarize the following paragraph: Me and my girlfrined have a relationship for about a month now, we started talking a few months ago and i always had a crush on her. A few weeks ago she want through my phone and saw that i sent a picture of my past crush to my bestfriend, this was done one week before me and my girlfriend started dating. We had a big discussion about this and i said that i might still get feelings for this crush (VERY STUPID AND DIDNT MEAN IT). She believed this and starts about this every week.
We get a discussion about this every week and i've said hundreds of times that it wasnt real that i said it because i was stressing and just said something. She doesnt believe anything. What can i do to make this good or should i just end the relationship? | openai_summarize |
We agreed that if we had sex with anyone else during the break it was over. She had sex with someone. How do I deal with these emotions? | Summarize the following paragraph: [Link]( to the Original Post.
We agreed that we would talk minimally (once a week on the phone just to catch up) and that if either of us had sex with anyone else that it would be completely over.
Well guess what! Last night, 13 days into this, she had sex with someone! She told me about it this morning (got to give her credit for that I guess...) and since then I've ignored her. I'm feeling a flood of emotions right now and I've already done everything I know to cope with this (pissed off workout and mow the yard).
What is the healthiest thing for me to do right now? I'm not sure what course of action to take after being betrayed on a 4 years relationship. Luckily I've saved up days off and took tomorrow off. | openai_summarize |
Got my way because I was ready to end, girlfriend agrees to let things slip and I get my way. What should I do? | Summarize the following paragraph: I've been together with my girlfriend for close to three years now. She fully expects me to propose and marry her (soon/now). I don't feel ready for that. Instead the thoughts of it make me feel very uneasy. We have issues to resolve. In my mind, things need to be running smoothly before you start a life-long union. She disagrees and argues that it is it not worth any effort or time on her side if I won't commit to unconditionally before trying to trying to fix things.
The current situation is: I got my way because I was ready to let things break and end. She gave up, and I got my way for now and didn't propose despite the length of the relationship.
Understandably, it weights on the relationship. I can't explain my resistance. I can't explain my willingness to let things slip and end. I do not think I was fully aware of the events unfolding and the likelihood of a breakup happening.
My attempts to understand the situation better fail. And they make me question my desire to hold on to her.
It is not true that I cannot imagine a life without her. It is true that I would miss her a lot. I would feel very bad if we broke up. She put a lot of trust in me, and I would betray that. But I can also imagine us work out. It just seems I have the wrong motivation: Everything is fine, therefore it can go on. Shouldn't it be: "I cannot live without her!"?
I know you cannot tell me what to do. What questions can I ask myself to sort it out in my head? | openai_summarize |
Boyfriend and I fight about being friends with the opposite sex, is it fair? | Summarize the following paragraph: My boyfriend (22) and I (20) have had an ongoing fight about if guys and girl could be just friends.
Alright for a little back story my boyfriend and I have been dating since last September and last summer I had a FWB with one of my guy friends who, after I went back to college in the fall, became one of my best friends. Me and my FWB never had any more feelings for each other other than just friendship, love never came into play.
The fighting between me and my boyfriend started last November whenever my guy friend would text me. My boyfriend said he doesn't think guys and girls should be friends with each other if they have an SO. I completely disagree though. I would have understood if he was a past relationship that we said I love you to each other and all that jazz. But it never got that far. He said it wouldn't even matter if we had done anything either, just being best friends with the opposite sex that isn't your SO is crossing boundaries.
Am I being completely crazy in thinking that I can be friends with other guys or is every guy just trying to get into girls pants? Do you guys think its possible for opposite sexes to be just friends? | openai_summarize |
I recently moved for a job, left an incredibly wonderful 2 year relationship behind to move to a new city, and met someone new. We might still be "single" but we are both excited, and I'm not sure if I should tell her about the impending thing with Sarah. I'm also unsure whether or not this is healthy to continue. | Summarize the following paragraph: I recently took a job out of state, leaving behind an amazing 2 year relationship with "Mary". Mary stayed behind for her own job, but she was seriously considering the idea of joining me in the new city. We agreed to break up, because of circumstances alone, and she booked a flight to visit 3 months after I arrived, with the subtext that we would both probably still be "single" (in it's loosest sense, i.e. not in a committed or sexual relationship) and would continue our romantic relationship during her visit, which is now one month away.
She also told me to tell her if I met someone, so she can cancel her flight. We are still really into each other, but Mary recently conceded that it doesn't seem realistic for her to move anytime soon. That said, she is still visiting in less than a month, and we are both very excited. Mary and I hold onto hope that we will be able to resume our awesome relationship somewhere down the road, even if not right now.
Meanwhile, I met a new girl ("Sarah"), went on a couple of dates, and we're to that point where she wants to start having sex, lot's of it, and I really want to oblige. However, I still love Mary and don't want to hurt her. I truly want her to visit, and our friendship is worth so much to me--I am afraid she would feel hurt and rejected if I told her about Sarah. I think Mary would understand if I started dating after her visit, just not before.
On the other hand, we're broken up, and I'm really excited by Sarah and all the awesome sex we want to have (we really want to have a bunch of it). I question whether or not this thing with Mary is healthy to continue, or if I just need to tell her about the impending thing with Sarah and let it run its course, which could mean hurting Mary and our friendship.
What do I do? Do I tell Sarah about my situation and explain that I can't really get serious until after Mary's visit? Do I tell Mary about Sarah and risk her being hurt and estranged? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks! | openai_summarize |
I no longer find myself physically attracted to my boyfriend. I don't know what to do. | Summarize the following paragraph: Hey reddit- thanks in advance.
I have been struggling with what to do lately.
I have dated my boyfriend on and off for about 5 years. He knows me inside and out and is very supportive of everything, very sweet, spoils me, and is an all around wonderful man. We share the same ideas about life and want the same things. Sounds perfect, right?
Well, as with every relationship, its not full of chocolates and roses. I have been finding myself not physically attracted to him, and honestly, I don't think I ever was. It just starting to dig at me and affect the way that I view our relationship. I am unsure of how to handle this, as I find everything else (emotional and intellectual) perfect and right on par.
I realize physical attraction is pretty big as it relates to our sex life and affection towards each other (cuddling, back rubs, bubble bath time, ect). I do not want this to become on issue down the road, but i have a feeling it will. I'm unsure as to what to do, tell him? breakup? continue on? I do not want to be unfair to him. | openai_summarize |
Interested in a girl for a few weeks, she wants to meet up and I'm unsure how to break up. | Summarize the following paragraph: Spent a week at a hotel, where I met a girl. We talked a lot and we sort of clicked, although I wasn't really interested in going any further, mostly due to the age difference.
When she left she asked for my number and I gave it to her. during the last 2 days she has sent me about 60 messages. Any time I don't respond quickly, she sends another message just saying "?".
I'm rather inexperienced with having someone who is that interested in me. After the first day we met, we didn't meet again until 2 days later, at which point she said she had searched for me the entire previous day and interrogated me about where I'd been. In her texts she wants to meet up back at the hotel or for me to visit her.
I'm very flattered, and although I like her we're at very different points in our lives, I have to study (far away) and she's still got a year left at high school. We don't know eachother nearly well enough to make it a long distance thing.
I guess what I'm wondering is how to "break up" with her, as we dont even really have a relationship. As mentioned, I'm not experienced with relationships or situations like this. | openai_summarize |
Girlfriend says I shouldn't go down on her because she feels bad about it. | Summarize the following paragraph: I have been seeing my girlfriend for 7 months. I do not like giving or receiving oral sex. (I know, strange. Whatever.) This becomes apparent to her after some time because she begins to sense that I'm not enjoying it when I do go down on her. She doesn't want me to do what I don't enjoy because then she feels guilty and it ruins the sex.
So she says the following two things to me:
1) She's had great oral sex before, and it contributed to the strong emotional connection of the sex. Her feeling guilty about me going down on her blocks that connection even though I'm willing to do it for her.
2) She's "unwilling to live without" the strong emotional connection of sex.
What I'm wondering is, if I can't start liking it, do those two statements together mean that she'll probably break up with me? | openai_summarize |
coworker can't pay back $10k in 401k loan, can be put in 10% penalty, can choose to cash out/reinvest. She has to take 10% penalty and pay it back this year. | Summarize the following paragraph: Posting for a coworker.
Coworker has a loan out on her 401k for approximately $7k. She is quitting her job in a couple months for whatever reason. I don't know. She has $17k total in the 401k. So, $10k if you take away the loan she has out.
Her question: Can she cash out her 401k (after she quits) to pay off the 401k loan and then move the remaining 401k funds to a private retirement account? She realizes the employer will have to hold 20% for taxes and that there is a 10% penalty on top of that.
Edit: Okay, so what I'm finding out is that she has 60 days to pay it back, then she has to take that 10% penalty when she files her taxes this year if she can't pay it back. She can still choose to cash out her 401k/reinvest it, though, right?
**Updated | openai_summarize |
1 year relationship ended without hostility, I feel like a gigantic pile of sadness | Summarize the following paragraph: She broke up with me last night... Background, we met on the internet last January. We both were getting out of relationships, and we met in person in March. We hit it off, and we were together in April and living in the same city by late June. Over the time, she turned out to be the most caring, loving, nurturing girl I've ever met. We were compatible in every imaginable way, and she even supported me on my biggest of flaws; one I can't speak of openly. By November, I was head over heels in love. I didn't take for granted, neither did she. By February, I was ready for marriage. She said she was... As we worked through every issue, she was slowly losing her interest. This weekend was a trip to her hometown to visit friends and family, all of which was so successful, it hardly makes sense that it would be the end... But it is. I can't force her to love me like I love her, or to want what I want. You don't know how brutal it is to love someone so completely who can't recall the same feelings.
Thanks W, you were an amazing partner. You will be missed very, very sorely. | openai_summarize |
Am I coveting what my social circle is having or have I come to the realization that there is more to life than what I am doing? | Summarize the following paragraph: I have never been a social butterfly. All of my life I have been to myself and have a difficult time having many friends because of my bluntness and social awkwardness. It's not that I cannot be social it's just that to be honest I kinda enjoy being an asshole to people. So I enjoy being an outsider and seeing things from a different perspective.
I have done well for myself as a young man, acquiring much money and living a simple life. The thought of opening up to a relationship has always been my least favorite topic. During family functions I am teased for having so much money in the bank, but being unable to have a girlfriend. I have been called gay and weird because I don't want to have one. However, I have shrugged it off because i think of the people who are telling me this ( miserable in their own relationships) and laugh.
This past week I have been attempting to do my daily and weekly Pc gaming with my younger cousin and he has been preoccupied with work and mostly his girlfriend. I have always respected that he has one, but have been feeling like such a loser and a freak because he is with someone and my main priority has been to game and do childish things.
At work, the company idiot who has been dying to have a girlfriend and has been rejected by many has finally got one. After a while it was getting sad that he has not gotten what he wants and I was thrilled to find out he did. i shrugged it off knowing that if someone puts effort in something they should get it.
My other good friends are all in relationships and it is difficult to have any spare time with them. I have been thinking about this all day simply because I feel alone. i feel like that one kid that no one sits with in lunch. | openai_summarize |
Caught between a rock and a hard place. Should I have dinner with my ex bf? | Summarize the following paragraph: My BF [31M] and I [31F] have been together for about a year. Because of financial logistics (I am a broke freelancer and I am about to move to look for work) I am still covered on my ex-bfs [35M] health insurance. When we broke up surprisingly amicably given the circumstances (I broke up with him due to his infidelity) and he left me on his insurance until I find a new full time job and can afford my own.
I need to move soon and be temporarily long distance with my current bf while I look for work. Having found out that I am moving my ex asked if we could have dinner as a way of saying goodbye. I will feel extremely rude if I turn down this offer after what he's done for me, but my current bf made it very clear that he is completely against my seeing him. Part of me is worried that he might think I'm ungrateful and take me off it and part of me feels that this dinner would be good closure. I'm really torn. I feel like if my boyfriend trusts me this dinner shouldn't be an issue and he's being insecure. Why can't two adults have a dinner? I don't like feeling like he can tell me what I can and cannot do. At the same time I know how hard it would be to be understanding about this. Caught between a rock and a hard place here.
What do? | openai_summarize |
my husky ate root of sago palm and threw up all of it. She seems very lethargic and depressed. Should I visit her vet to check on her liver?
EDIT: We are also going to give her medication to help manage the anxiety. We are going to see her vet next week. | Summarize the following paragraph: Hello reddit. My husky, Cleo, is a female husky and about 2 years old. About three days ago, we saw a radical change in her and later found out she ate the root part of a sago palm. We rushed her to a vet who referred us to a hospital where she went under 24 hour care. Well, luckily she threw up all of what she ate and her liver are back to normal levels as what the doctor had told us.
She is back home now and we are giving her medications that the hospital gave us. My question is...she seems so lethargic and almost depressed looking. Usually when she sees someone come through the door, she jumps, licks your face and starts running around the house like an energizer bunny. Lately, she's been the complete opposite and it is starting to worry me.
I've scheduled a follow up visit to her regular vet to check on her liver. Could this experience have traumatized her? Or maybe this might be side effects to the meds? Any advice? I would love to hear. Thanks. | openai_summarize |
Going to meet up with my ex, should i? | Summarize the following paragraph: Lori and I only went out for 4 months (over the summer) and at the start of the relationship we both knew how it would end.
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She would be going to an out of state university and i would be staying in state. Well the time came and it sucked but as we got closer to the end of the relationship and we became each others first in a lot of things, her and i started saying how we could meet up during thanksgiving break and winter break. the thing is, we both decided to cut off contact the day (we decided this way earlier in the summer) before she left but now i feel like i find myself looking forward to that day, as if we're still together. I'm currently still a mess, this was my first relationship and combined with some family issues you can see how she was an out for me and made me happy. but this isn't healthy. Should i just decline her when she asks to meet up? should i go and see if I'm over her by then? how do i stop myself from clinging on to this idea of seeing her again when we're actually broken up? | openai_summarize |
Marines defending Ambassador ChrisSteven's life shot into the air to try to scare the rioters off, then lied about it to the public. I'm so angry and disgusted that I'm pissed off at those who allowed it to happen. | Summarize the following paragraph: So I was browsing articles about the recent attack on the US embassy in Lybia, and I read one that mentioned that the Marines defending Ambassador Chris Steven fired into the air to attempt to scare off the rioters. There was something wrong with that statement, and at first I couldn't put my finger on it, but then I realized... *marines* *don't* *fire* *into* *the* *air*. Ever. They always shoot to kill. Always. Unless the ROE (rules of engagement) prohibit them from shooting people.
So someone, maybe Hillary Clinton, maybe someone else, (whoever sets the ROE) set the rules so that they couldn't defend themselves or the Ambassador. Under peaceful circumstances this wouldn't matter, but in this case, it cost people their lives. What I want to know is WHO THE CRAP decided it would be a good idea to stick an ambassador in a hostile country with solders who aren't allowed to use their guns??? In doing so, they condemned the ambassador to death, along with all the others who died. And the worst part is... will the ROE for embassies change because of this? Probably not. | openai_summarize |
Girl I know is talking about killing herself in 3 hours. I'm trying to help her, but she says she cant afford a therapist. I'm afraid if I let her go, she'll kill herself. | Summarize the following paragraph: I know this girl whos really unhappy with her life currently. She always posts to blogs and facebook about how everyone hates her. She says she has no friends. I've asked people why they continue to ignore her as her posts get more and more serious. They say that shes always been like this and she does it for attention...Recently shes been posting about actually killing herself. I was shocked that she could post something like this to a place like facebook without getting anyones response. Last night I spoke with her and asked if she had ever looked into seeing professional help. Shes says she cant afford a therapist. I told that even though we barely know each other, I would be willing to take her to some sort of help center. All night I talked to her about how important it was that she keep fighting, and that there are people out there who understand her situation.
Then Next day she made more posts talking about how not a single person has tried to reach out to her, and that shes very alone. Many people have told me that she lies about her situation, and has made previous claims about killing herself, and thats why no one cares. Regardless of whether or not shes faking it all seems really unhealthy. If shes doing all of this for attention, then she still needs help right? Shes posting saying that shes killing herself in 3 hours. Ive been stalling her, but I don't really know what to do past this point. Help? | openai_summarize |
I'm dying | Summarize the following paragraph: In my late teens and early 20's, I really abused my body. I was doing a fair amount of drugs and a ton of drinking. It got to the point where I could drink a handle a day for weeks on end until my body just decided that it'd have enough and I'd go into severe alcohol withdrawal. The works: vomiting for days on end, sweats, seizures, insomnia, etc... Over the years the period that it took for this to happen shortened until it was just a few days. I did a few hospital trips to get fluids, came close to death, and was almost institutionalized against my will at one point. After throwing up blood, I had had enough.
Eventually, I decided that I didn't want to die an alcoholic and decided to change my life. That was 5 years ago and things had been going good until last year. I got into a bicycling accident and ended up having major surgery to fix my clavicle. With the 2 week waiting period for the surgery as well as roughly a month of recovery, the pain killers took their toll on my liver. Shortly after that, my insurance refused to renew their contract with me. And shortly after that, my liver started to fail me again. I've been to the hospital 6 times in the past 8 months from symptoms just like I had when I was an alcoholic, without the alcohol. Since I don't have insurance, I can't get all the necessary tests to figure out exactly what is going on. I have started throwing up small bits of blood, again, which is a very very bad sign. My energy is really low and if I can get what most people call a meal into my once a day, it's a good day. I've lost almost 50lbs in the past 2 months and fear that the end is near. | openai_summarize |
going to uni, don't know whether to pursue my interests or take up studies in more dependable fields and risk hating it | Summarize the following paragraph: I finished high school not too long ago, and I've done pretty well in all of my final exams etc. I've managed to get myself decent enough marks to study anything available really, given it's in my country (Australia). My strongest subject has always been English Literature and I love reading and writing.
Problem is, I'm at a point where I need to decide whether or not I should take advantage of the position I'm in academically, and study medicine or law or some other "high-brow" subject in order to net a solid career path, or risk it by taking the "passion" route and enrolling in English/Cultural studies, a pretty liberal artsy-fartsy course that doesn't hold much promise regarding any post graduation plans.
I have no idea if I'd enjoy any of the courses I'm looking at that have decent job prospects, so I have no idea what to do. The only thing I'm certain about is that I want to relearn my native tongue (German) and take an elective in creative writing. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated! | openai_summarize |
My dad wants to move to the Philippines, and I don't want to go. Any places I can go to for help? | Summarize the following paragraph: My dad is part of a very small church in the Philippines. In 1999, he convinced my mother that he, my mom, myself, and my brother all move there. He successfully convinced her, and my brother and I were too young to decide on anything. He did this, because the higher-ups in his church foretold of the end of the world coming, through a nuclear war. Obviously, it didn't happen. However, this time while he was on vacation there, they went and told him that it was time to call all members of the church (and their families) to return to the church. Firstly, I wanted to say that I'm indeed an atheist, so I don't believe in any of this. Secondly, I want to make it apparent that I don't want to bash religious people, and I'm NOT trying to make any stand against religion. I just want to find out if there's anything I can do to stay.
If he can convince my mom again that we need to go, then we can leave at any time. Based off of his beliefs, when we leave we will take absolutely no material objects with us except the clothes on our back, our passports, and maybe a few other small objects. In saying this, since the dollar is worth more in the Philippines, he would have no problem leaving after selling everything we own for an extremely under priced amount. I won't be 18 until the end of June, so I can't exactly leave on my own. I don't have a job right now, so I have no money. I do however have several offers for temporary homes with some of my friends. Please Reddit, if you know of any associations or anything, foster places, anything I can go to for help in case of the worst? | openai_summarize |
Reconnected with ex girlfriend from 9 years ago, we are spending a lot of time together, I am falling for her again, she has a boyfriend who she does not seem too happy with. Should I fight for her ? Or let her go? | Summarize the following paragraph: She was the love of my life, 9 years ago. We re-connected a few months ago. It's like no time has passed...except it has...and ..she has a boyfriend.
So, I was in a serious relationship with her almost 9 years ago. at that time, we dated for almost two years. We ended things on a bad note, and didn't speak for a long time. Recently, as fate would have it, we began to talk as friends. Enough time has past that we forgot our grudges and anger towards each other. Now, since we are older and more mature, we have been having a great time just enjoying each other's company.
The problem is, she has a boyfriend. But she doesn't seem like she's happy with him, she has said it herself, "it's convenient".
I don't know what to do, I want to be with her again, but I don't know what is going through her head. We talk almost every day, we see each other almost as much. And yet, she goes home to him and not me.
Do I just it go? And not try to force it? I can't help but believe that there is some reason we are back in each other's lives. I have been trying to be the best friend I can for her, but sometimes I can't deny my feelings towards her. | openai_summarize |
I'm ruining my relationship because I'm a procrastinating perfectionist and I need help badly for both our sakes | Summarize the following paragraph: Hi everyone. New to Reddit and I'm typing this on mobile but here I go
Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 2 years and we've had our ups and downs but we love each other and want a future together. I met my girlfriend online while I was going to school to become a veterinary assistant and I'm currently back home working to pay off my student loans so I can move back and get an apartment and a job that I actually want and went to school for. My girlfriend lives a 7 hour bus ride away from me so we only get to see each other every few months and its been like that for almost a year now and it sucks but its mostly my fault.
What happens is, we usually have date nights; nights where we do things together like watch movies, Skype, play games, bone, all that wonderful stuff. Those arent happening very often because I want them to be perfect. Lets say I get off work at 5, loads of time for me to get supper and watch a movie and make love to my wonderful girlfriend before one of us has to be in bed to get up for school in her case or work in mine, but in my head thats not enough time. For whatever reason no amount of time is enough and I keep putting off date nights until I think it'll be perfect but it never is so it ends up being days without sex, weeks without Skype or movies and its not fair to her at all. I know shes getting frustrated with me and that only makes me want our time together more perfect which makes me dig my hole further down. The best thing to walk into my life deserves perfection but its my idea of perfection thats killing this relationship.
I need help and I dont know where to turn. I have no friends and my family isnt a big fan of me dating another girl in the first place so I'm totally lost. Any advice would be helpful | openai_summarize |
Girlfriend wants to date other people, feel like she wants to experience the single life | Summarize the following paragraph: So last night we talked for a while about this. Basically she says that she loves me very much and does not want to lose me as her best friend or her boyfriend, but for the past couple of weeks has had a feeling that she wants to experience the single life and date other people.
She says that while she loves being with me and that I make her very happy, she wants to have the typical college experience. Not necessarily fucking around and shit, but dating people to find what she likes in a guy. (I'm only her second boyfriend.)
She said her ideal situation is that we break up, date other people for a while, but then get back together because she always wants me in her life and in her future and wants to eventually marry me.
I'm just really confused right now. I don't know what to do. She is my best friend and the best girlfriend I have ver had. I love her very much. I do not want to lose her. Do any of you have any experience in any situations like this? | openai_summarize |
of all of this is: Had a fling with girl, her roommate added me on facebook and never said shit to me nor did I her. Now her roommate hates me and may be spreading nasty rumors without me doing anything to earn her ire. What do. | Summarize the following paragraph: She felt I didn't open up enough and asked too many questions, which I can respect (if she's not happy with the relationship, why force it). But anyways, I run into her roommate fairly often, she added me on facebook while we were seeing each other.
I never really knew her roommate particularly well, so (after the ex and I cut ties) whenever I saw/see her around, I keep my mouth shut and pretty much think and act like she's just another random person. Well, I ran into her the other day and kept my mouth shut like usual. She (the roommate) took it the wrong way completely or whatever, but long story short, she removed me from facebook (she SURE stuck it to me with this move, lemme tell yah) and I am starting to think she is starting a smear campaign about me when I've done little to nothing at all to deserve it.
The reason I think this is I walked by her in the university cafeteria earlier today and I heard her say "douchebag" several times (it may have been nothing, but I don't particularly like crediting circumstances such as coincidence). I don't know how far her hatred goes, but I imagine I've earned her ire in a pretty serious way.
Further details: I am 21 and male and go to college. Ex is 20, as is her roommate. I am a pretty laid back and quiet guy IRL which is part of the reason why I am sort of at a "what" with this entire situation. The relationship with the ex ended on a relatively quiet note, it wasn't really that dramatic or anything especially since we weren't in a full "official" girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. It was more or less a typical college fling.
But alas, the | openai_summarize |
Told a crush I have been talking to that I want to leave my GF for her. She's stopped talking to me since and I'm not sure what she's thinking. | Summarize the following paragraph: Throwaway because I'm dumb
I have hinted at breaking up with my GF but yesterday I finally said that it was my intention. My crush told me "Not to" and hasn't said anything to me since.
I'm not sure what is going through her mind and I am sort of confused. I was thinking that it is what she would have wanted given how much we have talked about it the last few weeks. Now that I made it real instead of fantasy she has stopped talking to me.
I hope she doesn't think she is to blame for ending my relationship because really, she wasn't. It was over long ago. I didn't mean to put a burden on her, if that's what I did. I really thought I was doing the right thing :/
Help me out, is she mad that I some how put a pressure on her? Or hurt? I would hate to think that she didn't mean what she has said to me lately and is now backing away when I am trying to prove that I have been serious. | openai_summarize |
My 4 best friends started sleeping with each other and I feel like shit. What do? | Summarize the following paragraph: So I have a group of 4 friends, 2 guys 2 girls, who I regularly hang out with. Were all about the same age. Most of the people in the group consider me to be their best friend. Apparently I make a good friend and not much else. Anyway, in the last few weeks, 2 have them have started dating, and the other 2 have been drunkenly sleeping together. Not only do I feel left out, unwanted, unloved, unattractive, angry, jealous, alone, and a total moronic idiot, but I also feel like at the end of this whole episode I am going to have no friends. I have already avoided their calls to hang for a few days as I am kinda of tired of it. But these are my best friends and I don't have too many others I'd rather be spending all my time with. But, honestly, I feel like this whole situation which I can't really control has totally fucked up my shit.
The truth is, not to sound like a total ass, but I am smart enough and know my friends well enough that this going to suck balls for me in a few weeks when everyone is either dying to talk shit or too embarrassed to even hang with me anymore.
I should also say i considered myself smart enough to not have sex with my friends, knowing it would turn out poorly, but now I feel like I've missed out on some good sex and lost all my friends. I'm pretty much hating life and myself at the moment. | openai_summarize |
My (26f) boyfriend (29m) has a hump on the back of his neck, which I believe is tissue formed to protect the upper spine due to his head being pushed too far forward. | Summarize the following paragraph: My (26f) boyfriend (29m) of 3 years has developed a hump on the back of his neck, which I believe is tissue formed to protect the upper spine due to his head being pushed too far forward.
Firstly, I'm concerned because of the impact this is suggested to have on people's health. I also find it to be a turn off, he never stands up straight and it is becoming much more noticeable to the point where friends and family are asking me about it.
He sits at a desk all day and lives on his own, doesn't exercise or cook/eat any healthy meals, he is a bit overweight.
I don't know whether he is aware of the hump, he doesn't ever correct his posture or talk about it or anything. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I want him to know and do something about it. Any suggestions? | openai_summarize |
While talking about Illuminati quackery, jokes about wanting to be one. Crush walks by and says random religious comments, satan and such. Let down, don't know if should keep his eye on her or just move on. | Summarize the following paragraph: Hello reddit. Thought to ask for some input and to talk about the topic.
The story is quite simple:
While at university, I was talking to a fellow student about some random topic. Somehow it gets into Illuminatti and Conspiracy stuff. I guess it is a worldwide trend; in Brazil, these things often are exaggerated and exploited in religious spaces, mostly Roman Catholic, Baptist and Pentecostal circles.
I joke that if the population reduction plan hoax is true, then I would want to be an Illuminati and stay among the living. He looks at me, takes as a joke, but keeps saying it would be a bad idea and such.
A girl that recently has caught my attention and was becoming quite a crush to me walks by, and this colleague talks to her:
- This guy thinks it would be nice to be an Illuminatti, etc.
She looks a little apprehensive, and says that it would not be nice at all. that they are a satanic thing, and you can't serve two lords, then...
It was such a huge let down that in my mind it goes like:
"Come on guys, two-thousand fucking twelve.
please stop the '60s, '70s paranoia and such."
I don't think how this should develop; I will meet her tomorrow and everyday to the end of the semester and, if I got any feelings for her, some scumbag region from my brain will keep telling me:
" You sure? this person really believes in hoaxes and says funny things about Christianity, and such."
How would you guys handle something like that, or what are your thoughts on the subject?
If this goes in another reddit, will gladly move! | openai_summarize |
My brother threw toilet paper in my bathtub, I took responsibility and got it wet, he yelled at us. | Summarize the following paragraph: I'll start. When my eldest brother and I were younger, him, ten years of age, and I, seven, my dad was draining the bath-tub and had noticed that one of us, my brother or I, had thrown the roll of toilet paper into the tub. For some reason or another, this made him blow a fuse, and he lined us up in front of the wall, and went into berserk mode, yelling at us, and attempting to find out which one of us had done it. After several moments of putting up with his yelling, I finally stepped forward as the culprit of this dastardly deed, getting the toilet paper wet. It was my brother's doing, however, as he had thrown it over while I was in the tub, but I had taken the blame so we both wouldn't be reprimanded. | openai_summarize |
I have a crush on a guy I've met online and may be developing a romantic relationship with. I've never met him in person and am not sure how to proceed. | Summarize the following paragraph: I 've been talking to this guy online for about two weeks and we've really clicked. We've shared a lot about our lives and we get along great. We live in different countries but we have a lot of the same interests and we talk throughout the day almost everyday.
I call him sometimes and we've kind of video chatted (I saw him but he didn't see me, since he was just showing me something) and after calling him once when I was upset, I think I may be developing a crush on him. However, I feel like it's too early to even start liking him. We've never had SOs and he has trouble approaching girls and is shy (same as me, but with guys), so I really don't know what to do about this whole crush business; especially since we go to school in different countries. I'm even afraid to hint at it because all of my crushes have been unambiguously unreciprocated ones, and I feel like this one will be as well. I can't even get over the crush though, because I think about him quite often.
So has anyone been in this situation and have some advice on how you managed? Especially since I've never met him in person. | openai_summarize |
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