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0 | ben affleck vs. bill maher: no one wins | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ben-affleck-vs-bill-maher_1_b_5934590.html |
1 | 600-pound butter cow sculpture wins iowa caucus | https://politics.theonion.com/600-pound-butter-cow-sculpture-wins-iowa-caucus-1819573170 |
1 | area juggler juggles family, juggling | https://local.theonion.com/area-juggler-juggles-family-juggling-1819586203 |
0 | this d.c. restaurant just sued trump and his hotel for unfair competition | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-hotel-lawsuit_us_58c19053e4b0ed71826ac039 |
0 | kevin bacon will come after you if you talk or text during a movie | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kevin-bacon-will-come-after-you-if-you-talk-and-text-during-a-movie_us_55b108d2e4b08f57d5d3ce16 |
1 | baby can already tell crib he's in going to be recalled | https://local.theonion.com/baby-can-already-tell-crib-he-s-in-going-to-be-recalled-1819575320 |
0 | the best live-action 'south park' commercials | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/best-south-park-fake-commercials_n_6118024.html |
1 | desperate gop spotted in south dakota trying to build keystone pipeline themselves | https://politics.theonion.com/desperate-gop-spotted-in-south-dakota-trying-to-build-k-1819577228 |
0 | death of mentally ill woman in police custody ruled a homicide | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tanisha-anderson-death_n_6407656.html |
0 | astronaut tim peake completes london marathon in space, sets world record | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tim-peake-astronaut-london-marathon_us_571d9e08e4b0d912d5fefe2f |
1 | woman comforting friend just going to throw compliments against wall and see what sticks | https://www.theonion.com/woman-comforting-friend-just-going-to-throw-compliments-1819577223 |
1 | u.s. mint introduces new double-stuf quarters | https://www.theonion.com/u-s-mint-introduces-new-double-stuf-quarters-1819592058 |
1 | report: whoa, last person on treadmill ran 8 miles | https://local.theonion.com/report-whoa-last-person-on-treadmill-ran-8-miles-1822931058 |
0 | jeb bush calls for crackdown on sanctuary cities in immigration plan | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jeb-bush-immigration-sanctuary-cities_us_55bf7999e4b0d4f33a0349e3 |
0 | my link to muhammad ali through parkinson's | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/my-link-to-muhammad-ali-t_b_10301606.html |
1 | dhs announces racial profiling free-for-all this sept. 11 | https://politics.theonion.com/dhs-announces-racial-profiling-free-for-all-this-sept-1819572894 |
1 | paramedics didn't realize how hard it would be to cut drunk woman out of elmo costume | https://local.theonion.com/paramedics-didn-t-realize-how-hard-it-would-be-to-cut-d-1830132529 |
1 | rnc taps dennis hastert to lead new youth outreach program | https://politics.theonion.com/rnc-taps-dennis-hastert-to-lead-new-youth-outreach-prog-1821055507 |
1 | money spent for old time's sake | https://local.theonion.com/money-spent-for-old-times-sake-1819571481 |
0 | top aide denies that donald trump posed as his own spokesman | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-posed-as-spokesman_us_5738e2dce4b08f96c1837472 |
0 | images show that saturn's north polar region has changed color | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/saturn-hexagon-color-change_us_5810aec5e4b001e247df64a5 |
1 | anderson cooper throws another box of letters from gay children into dumpster | https://www.theonion.com/anderson-cooper-throws-another-box-of-letters-from-gay-1819574743 |
0 | the equifax breach is bad, but there are steps that can help | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-equifax-breach-is-bad-but-there-are-steps-that_us_59c43d75e4b08d6615504148 |
1 | toddler unsettled by whatever possessed her to bite friend's face | https://local.theonion.com/toddler-unsettled-by-whatever-possessed-her-to-bite-fri-1819578006 |
1 | kurt warner cheered on by wire-haired man-goblin | https://www.theonion.com/kurt-warner-cheered-on-by-wire-haired-man-goblin-1819587103 |
0 | fox news viewers really don't like lifelong republican robert mueller | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-russia-mueller-fox-news_us_5aff072de4b0a046186b4794 |
1 | man runs into ex-wife while wearing sandwich board | https://www.theonion.com/man-runs-into-ex-wife-while-wearing-sandwich-board-1819587206 |
0 | patriot devin mccourty is not visiting the white house: 'i don't feel accepted' | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/devin-mccourty-white-house_us_5899e44de4b09bd304bd8c38 |
0 | how many glasses of wine does it take to ruin your diet? | https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://pubx.co/XzxaJW |
0 | hey, remember when bernie sanders played a rabbi in a rom-com? | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/give-this-man-an-oscar_us_56b23119e4b01d80b244b3d2 |
0 | j.lo and a-rod will each donate $25,000 to hurricane harvey victims | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jlo-and-arod-will-each-donate-25k-to-hurricane-harvey-victims_us_59a6b897e4b063ae34da370f |
1 | does strange death curse haunt cast of gone with the wind? | https://entertainment.theonion.com/does-strange-death-curse-haunt-cast-of-gone-with-the-wi-1819586509 |
1 | hillary clinton relaxing before debate with few hours of debate practice | https://politics.theonion.com/hillary-clinton-relaxing-before-debate-with-few-hours-o-1819578506 |
0 | bartender accused of plotting to poison john boehner | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/john-boehner-death-threat_n_6466540.html |
1 | earth ranked number one party planet | https://www.theonion.com/earth-ranked-number-one-party-planet-1819579808 |
1 | new ad preys on people with 'ideas' | https://www.theonion.com/new-ad-preys-on-people-with-ideas-1819566463 |
0 | chris rock calls out the oscars lack of diversity in perfect tweet | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chris-rock-oscars-tweet_us_569a5908e4b0ce496424a82d |
0 | someone made a trump-putin facebook friend anniversary video | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/someone-made-a-trump-putin-facebook-friend-anniversary-video_us_58b99febe4b0b99894173ed6 |
0 | here's the new sexy carl's jr. super bowl commercial | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/carls-jr-super-bowl-commercial_n_6528268.html |
0 | first latino arab-american running for congress views his heritage as an asset | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/first-latino-arab-american-running-for-congress_us_58ff7561e4b0c46f07828bce |
1 | mom uses full name to refer to bisquick impossibly easy cheeseburger pie | https://www.theonion.com/mom-uses-full-name-to-refer-to-bisquick-impossibly-easy-1819566208 |
1 | monocle-wearing oil baron's cigarette holder splinters in clenched teeth after hearing bernie sanders' environmental platform | https://politics.theonion.com/monocle-wearing-oil-baron-s-cigarette-holder-splinters-1819578597 |
0 | merkel calls for a more open world: 'we won't get anywhere' with populism | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/germany-angela-merkel-populism_us_588681c2e4b096b4a2341e67 |
1 | public outraged as price of fast-depleting, non-renewable resource skyrockets | https://www.theonion.com/public-outraged-as-price-of-fast-depleting-non-renewab-1819568201 |
1 | new downloadable content for 'assassin's creed syndicate' factored into monthly living expenses | https://www.theonion.com/new-downloadable-content-for-assassin-s-creed-syndicat-1819578368 |
1 | largemouth bass has largemouth sass! | https://www.theonion.com/largemouth-bass-has-largemouth-sass-1819586169 |
1 | pope john paul ii, longtime owner of popemobile, dead at 84 | https://www.theonion.com/pope-john-paul-ii-longtime-owner-of-popemobile-dead-a-1819567800 |
1 | global-warming crisis makes for delightful mid-february afternoon | https://www.theonion.com/global-warming-crisis-makes-for-delightful-mid-february-1819565038 |
0 | 'a day with hiv' campaign tells the powerful stories of those affected by hiv | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/a-day-with-hiv-2017_us_5a2184d0e4b03c44072d425e |
0 | watch: pearl jam randomly break out into 'let it go' in italy | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pearl-jam-cover-let-it-go_n_5519674.html |
1 | grandchild, grandfather equally dreading collaboration for school interview project | https://local.theonion.com/grandchild-grandfather-equally-dreading-collaboration-1819577487 |
0 | is your outdated career map leading you astray? | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/is-your-outdated-career-m_b_7245648.html |
1 | bartender hurt by unfinished drink | https://local.theonion.com/bartender-hurt-by-unfinished-drink-1819567822 |
0 | 'the big dark': series of storms stretching from china to u.s. batters northwest | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/atmospheric-river-china-washington_us_59e80ea3e4b00905bdaeb9c9 |
0 | lebanon's ex-pm says he will return amid claims he was being held captive by saudis | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lebanon-prime-minster-hariri_us_5a086974e4b05673aa59dbe6 |
1 | signs make upcoming section of road sound pretty badass | https://local.theonion.com/signs-make-upcoming-section-of-road-sound-pretty-badass-1828305243 |
1 | audio experts confirm whiny, irritating noises in secret recording devin nunes | https://politics.theonion.com/audio-experts-confirm-whiny-irritating-noises-in-secre-1828226356 |
1 | uneventful past finally catches up to boring man | https://www.theonion.com/uneventful-past-finally-catches-up-to-boring-man-1819567818 |
1 | sources: c'mon, just give us the goddamn pulitzer already | https://www.theonion.com/sources-cmon-just-give-us-the-goddamn-pulitzer-alread-1819572744 |
0 | greek bailout talks delayed once again, official says | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/greece-bailout-talks-start_us_55b3a54fe4b0a13f9d18c0f3 |
1 | if area dad steps on legos one more time | https://www.theonion.com/if-area-dad-steps-on-legos-one-more-time-1819567688 |
0 | this teacher remixes rap songs like 'bad and boujee' to teach history lessons | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/this-teacher-remixes-songs-like-bad-and-boujee-to-teach-history-lessons_us_58c9601fe4b01c029d781593 |
0 | here's how much betsy devos and her family spent to back the gop senators who confirmed her | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/betsy-devos-senate-contributions_us_589a12d1e4b040613139a5a4 |
0 | stage door: wiesenthal | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stage-door-wiesenthal_b_6116670.html |
0 | the painful price of aging in prison | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/aging-in-prison_n_7200072.html |
0 | gwen stefani bares her soul performing 'i used to love you' at the amas | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gwen-stefani-american-music-awards-performance_us_564e2868e4b08c74b734f89d |
0 | scott pruitt lands a second fawning conservative magazine profile | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/scott-pruitt-national-review-profile_us_5a3d3cb8e4b06d1621b42a1c |
0 | death to shoppers? al-shabaab and the fracturing of international jihadism | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/death-to-shoppers-al-shab_b_6778406.html |
1 | boss came to work today dressed as guy who fires sean | https://local.theonion.com/boss-came-to-work-today-dressed-as-guy-who-fires-sean-1819575794 |
1 | dirty, bearded vince foster bursts through doors of clinton fundraiser | https://politics.theonion.com/dirty-bearded-vince-foster-bursts-through-doors-of-cli-1819579194 |
1 | surrendering trump boys solemnly salute each other before leaping from white house first-story window | https://politics.theonion.com/surrendering-trump-boys-solemnly-salute-each-other-befo-1823920497 |
0 | colin kaepernick calls high school team's die-in protest courageous | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/colin-kaepernick-anthem-protest-high-school-team_us_57e93272e4b0e80b1ba307d9 |
0 | las vegas officials create gofundme page for shooting victims | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gofundme-las-vegas-shooting_us_59d26fbce4b05f005d35d9dc |
1 | report: 55% of nation's granite now engraved with names of victims | https://www.theonion.com/report-55-of-nation-s-granite-now-engraved-with-names-1819578298 |
1 | hollywood announces plan to remake jimmy stewart | https://entertainment.theonion.com/hollywood-announces-plan-to-remake-jimmy-stewart-1819590474 |
0 | getting married to a guy with kids is 'pretty freaking intimidating' | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/getting-married-to-a-guy-with-kids-is-pretty-freaking-intimidating_us_56e1f119e4b0b25c91815887 |
1 | mother ferries 4 more shirt options back to son in gap dressing room | https://local.theonion.com/mother-ferries-4-more-shirt-options-back-to-son-in-gap-1819576650 |
0 | fda approves nasal-spray version of overdose drug naloxone | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/fda-naloxone-heroin-overdose_us_564dec69e4b031745cf008ec |
1 | negative review of 'a wrinkle in time' peppered with critic assuring readers he still totally supports diversity | https://entertainment.theonion.com/negative-review-of-a-wrinkle-in-time-peppered-with-cr-1823656342 |
0 | russell simmons leads 'i am a muslim too' rally in new york | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/russell-simmons-leads-i-am-a-muslim-too-rally-in-new-york_us_58aa13e8e4b037d17d290e0a |
0 | norman lear, common, shonda rhimes to explore inequality in epix documentary series | https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.latimes.com/entertainment/tv/showtracker/la-et-st-norman-lear-shonda-rhimes-america-divided-epix-20160119-story.html |
1 | kanye west: 'i would've ridden away from a slave plantation on a motorcycle first chance i got' | https://entertainment.theonion.com/kanye-west-i-would-ve-ridden-away-from-a-slave-planta-1825726783 |
0 | the daily szep- gop circus | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-daily-szep-gop-circus_1_b_5259185.html |
0 | the ultimate livingston, montana, road trip playlist | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-ultimate-livingston-montana-road-trip-playlist_us_59dfe49de4b03a7be57f64e6 |
0 | if i have gay children: 4 promises from a christian pastor/parent | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/if-i-have-gay-children-fo_b_5869298.html |
1 | clinton assures tim kaine she'll continue serving as president in event of her death | https://politics.theonion.com/clinton-assures-tim-kaine-she-ll-continue-serving-as-pr-1819579062 |
1 | rugged new sport-utility vehicle takes on mall parking lot | https://www.theonion.com/rugged-new-sport-utility-vehicle-takes-on-mall-parking-1819586239 |
1 | report: new 'the handmaid's tale' season focuses on dangers of feminism run amok | https://entertainment.theonion.com/report-new-the-handmaid-s-tale-season-focuses-on-dan-1825477939 |
0 | who's law is it anyways? | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/whos-law-is-it-anyways_b_5543997.html |
0 | teen football recruit makes bold statement about black lives at training camp | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/teen-football-recruit-makes-bold-statement-about-black-lives-at-training-camp_us_594d51f5e4b05c37bb762a0e |
0 | chris hemsworth's wife elsa pataky posts sweet photo to celebrate his birthday | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chris-hemsworths-wife-elsa-pataky-posts-sweet-photo-to-celebrate-his-birthday_us_5990784fe4b08a247275284c |
0 | questions linger for candidates on retirement issues | https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.detroitnews.com/story/business/personal-finance/2016/10/23/questions-linger-candidates-retirement-issues/92652106/ |
1 | olympics officials clearly trying to buy more time with 6-day-long opening ceremony performance | https://sports.theonion.com/olympics-officials-clearly-trying-to-buy-more-time-with-1819579126 |
1 | first-grader reeks of urine | https://www.theonion.com/first-grader-reeks-of-urine-1819564914 |
0 | protests continue for stephon clark on martin luther king jr.'s death anniversary | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/stephon-clark-protest-martin-luther-king-death-anniversary_us_5ac58a57e4b09ef3b24362cd |
0 | why i launched a platform to empower survivors of bullying | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-i-launched-an-empowering-platform-from-experiences_us_59c1d4ffe4b082fd4205baef |
0 | chance the rapper unboxing his grammys with his daughter is too cute for words | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chance-the-rapper-grammys-unboxing-daughter_us_59e9c19fe4b05b4f1c3a8371 |
0 | guys, someone edited chris farley into the 'mission: impossible' trailer | https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/chris-farley-mission-impossible_us_55ba4386e4b095423d0e07e1 |
1 | u.s. fish and wildlife officials release photos of missing perch | https://www.theonion.com/u-s-fish-and-wildlife-officials-release-photos-of-miss-1819580399 |
1 | hope in students' eyes too much for screenwriting teacher to handle this week | https://entertainment.theonion.com/hope-in-students-eyes-too-much-for-screenwriting-teache-1819573975 |