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[INST] Are they? Dunno if that would be necessary, my experience with them has been excellent, and I've heard very little to the contrary. I'm also technically in their 'Chairman's Circle' or whatever, so I get a ton of perks. Edit: lmao that thread is full of cryptards [/INST] I just cant imagine a reasonable person would be that excited to talk about how amazing schwab has been for them. Don't get me wrong I have a schwab account as well and I like them, but I wouldn't say they're any better than TD or IB.

[INST] Planet money did a podcast relating to this [/INST] they did? which episode?

[INST] wat [/INST] ignore him, he's on another bender

[INST] Um, yes for 2018. Dude was talking about 2019. We might still get 4 if economy heats up. This isn't the final word on the year. [/INST] 2019 is like a year away bro. My FD's expire this week!

[INST] It's been so difficult making picks for me lately. Last buy was Lowes and I'm down about 4% [/INST] Just put everything in MU

[INST] Ah flailing companies.. gotta love those. [/INST] How many flails does the modern family need?!

[INST] no u [/INST] Lol, it's a fuckin' flair train!

[INST] It literally bottomed out today. Pic or you're a faggot [/INST] Hey I bought time traveling calls, bottomed out a few days ago in the future, fastest money you will ever make.

[INST] [Ha ha ha you are no match for my style](https://youtu.be/F7P5uC7-PL8) [/INST] Crazy how much it looks like him. I thought it was really him until about half way through.

[INST] what complete fucks money managers are, playing golf and wandering into the office at 2pm to buy more AAPL or whatever. where can i get this job [/INST] Honestly though, also I'm sure they're at the point where they push a button and it tells them what to buy or sell to rebalance their portfolios

[INST] Did you just say 9000 mate..what currency are you talking about here?! Lol [/INST] The size of his dragonballs

[INST] Their praying that they will be one of the few exceptions but 100m on the line seems like a small fish to exempt. [/INST] 100m what? They earned about 4b revenue last quarter.

[INST] Yeah, everyone can post orders to sell at EOD.... [/INST] Why not just make the market only stay open 10 min a day and be done with it?

[INST] Hell yeah. Wanna start a hedge fund with me that double leverages fngu? [/INST] depends if your professor is in on it

[INST] Don’t buy FB, these damn boomers are the only ones using it and they gotta croak sooner or later [/INST] That’s how I feel. Social media platforms have come and gone. This one is leaving too, it’s just so big and unethical that it’s making waves. But not too big to fail.

[INST] my chromosomes are perfectly intact tyvm prob gonna unload as soon as it starts to move back up im only in it for the quickiez [/INST] You dumb dumb.

[INST] SNAP is still so early on. They have users, they just are shit at monetizing them. So when users are dropping off due to an update and the Kardashians are tweeting about it, it can fuck shit up. EA only needs a handful of players making microtransactions to make a lot of $. snap needs consistent user growth. [/INST] EA just pays gaming sites to fuck the public opinion and move it, and they movin' like axle grease bb.

[INST] days* [/INST] *weeks

[INST] Just in case you're not being sarcastic and truly have no other view points to rely on, you need to read mainstream news websites to get a feel for how utterly retarded the world is. Read the gossip/fashion/entertainment sections. [/INST] How do I long da booty?

[INST] dinner too? my god man [/INST] Dont forget money for the cab home

[INST] My portfolio has been outright green in the last two months, that was 2 Fridays ago before someone went 'tariffs!' and I stupidly didn't transition to puts. Maybe I'll get another chance when he inevitably does it once more. [/INST] I grabbed some puts on CAT two weeks ago, thinking they're overpriced plus on the wrong side of all this: use lots of steel and sell a lot in China. Even at that it hasn't worked out that well for me yet. (Positive, just not nearly offsetting other losses.) What we have right now is a really volatile market, and it's brilliant to play in hindsight but rather difficult to call.

[INST] Will gofundme allow me to fund my gambling habits? Im pooling funds together from other investments currently to get back above so i can keep on trucking as i quit my soul sucking job in IT last year after i had a few good months thanks to this place. I guess my fiance and I are eating ramen for a few weeks till i get back above. I need about a few k to get back above assuming aapl doesn't continue to use a cactus as a strap on. [/INST] Nothing wrong with ramen noodle, I’ve done something similar and cut down about $600/month of food related expenses which I now put into my brokerage and try to get back into the green, with option plays.

[INST] They aggregate news from other sources. That article is technically from Reuters. [/INST] i see, still interesting to me

[INST] >Looking for anal [/INST] All I got out of that as well. *sigh* Sometimes a guy just has to roll up his sleeves and suck dick for MU calls.

[INST] April 20. $59 Calls @ 4.20 $59.50 Puts @ 4.05 Crazy high premium. It already is an expensive position, but becomes far worse (or better if you are selling) after IV crush. [/INST] only issue I can see is there is no liquidity for my broker for these strikes Edit: other issue I'd be scared of is if micron goes to the moon or crashes.

[INST] They balance the budget with librul tears and praying the gay away. [/INST] It doesn't matter who the hell is in charge, spending always goes up. Atleast that's what I noticed.

[INST] Clearly to Mars, this is going to surpass the Moon [/INST] TSLA it is then.

[INST] He doesn't actually say that. [/INST] Most people don't even realize this, but Warren Buffet has been mute his entire life. All of the quotes people ascribe to him are actually from his assistant who translates an interesting language they created together as children involving slight eye twitching and facial movements. People like to tout Buffet as a financial tycoon, when in reality he has blundered his way into billions through sheer accident every single time. Trust me.

[INST] ... there are conspiracy theories and then there's what is. This is what it is ... the reality of a market where 10% of the people own 85% of the market. [/INST] I think that ratio is just a basic principle of a market in capitalism no?

[INST] All fun and games until you realize your gains were unrealized and them shits just evaporated [/INST] I love that guy who had 24k on snap fd and lost it all when Rihana slapped his dick hard

[INST] Except CNN. They want to play Stormy covering 24/7. [/INST] I been playing her greatest hits at night don't see any issue with it. Still need to do my DD on her though.

[INST] LFIN puts [/INST] Premium is way too fucking high on those

[INST] Did you sell the Cs? [/INST] No. Only 2K worth and it’s not an intrinsic value play. When SPX got back to 2780 they were up 50%. Just gonna sit tight through all this nonsense

[INST] You mean 3/24 $MU 55 Put [/INST] 3/24 is a Saturday.

[INST] Also lots of tech needs rare earth minerals and China has most I think [/INST] Rare earth minerals aren't 'rare' just hard to produce. It is cheaper to do in China than anywhere else....

[INST] You're not so bad, at least you only put a little in and limited your loss unlike me hehe. [/INST] Not yet, but I just made a lil bit off of some MSFT puts and my BA puts are looking nice so I'm thinking its about time I yolo

[INST] No worries, I bought FB calls on Monday and sold on Tuesday for a loss, on Wednesday they would have netted me ~95% So I did the logical thing and bought more FB calls today. I can't wait to sell them tomorrow for a loss [/INST] Hahaha thats unlucky man. I bought some UVXY mar29 puts 14.5 strike for average around .25, also bought some X calls mar29 with 40 strike for .17

[INST] Things were looking good, and then i got trumped. I'll see how tomorrow goes. [/INST] Welcome to the club. There will be no catalyst to bring it higher.

[INST] What's your expiration? I'm a greedy bitch and waited too long yesterday, and suffering for it now. [/INST] June

[INST] Eli5? [/INST] You don't even need a gun really, bring a backpack and just hand any bank teller a post it that says: 'This is a robbery. Put all the cash you can in this bag.' You'll make about $5000 in a couple minutes

[INST] RIP [/INST] F

[INST] I literally only keep FB to sell shit on FB marketplace, dog shit analogy checks out [/INST] What you selling the marketplace is the best platform.....?

[INST] And higher risk 👍 [/INST] But if you already have HIV, then tour margins are stable.

[INST] Yeah we just hit a new low for the day on the indices; I think you’re entirely right about a selloff. Usually when we have a morning dip, the 1-2pm dip isn’t as severe. [/INST] Well I just unloaded my AAPL calls so if we don't and it runs up I'm losing both ways lmao.

[INST] It'll recover eventually....and by eventually i mean a week after expiration. [/INST] as is tradition.

[INST] Totally agree in the long term. For me, I'm waiting until after earnings and buying regardless because I'm a greedy little fuck who wants a chance to buy it cheaper, but I'll be amazed if this isn't up significantly by this time next year. [/INST] why dont u buy it now and sell a ITM covered call against your position? edit: Or maybe sell a put

[INST] Bubble thesis confirmed. [/INST] Since I catched a bear in the wild here, how can there be a recession, when most company fundamentals are great and growth is expected?

[INST] F [/INST] F

[INST] You have to understand! [/INST] I am a profitable company

[INST] i'll post that next week once MU settles into wherever it's going in the near term [/INST] How's the diet of Tums and Heart meds going?

[INST] This is low-quality garbage fit for r/latestagecapitalism [/INST] Using any capitalists name on that sub is a way to get banned.

[INST] They are at $.15 now... [/INST] I've decided this is an overreaction by the market combined with the tech selloff started by FB news. Scooped up 10 SPY 275C 03/29 @ .13 ea, 5 SPY 275C 04/02 @ .30 ea (that one is down 47.5%), and 10 SPY 280 C 04/04 @ .07 ea (down 23.47%). I'm ready for the hard bounce next week so I can flip these bad boys.

[INST] This. Consumers are just cheap and or lazy [/INST] I like things cheap. If A and B are the same, yet A is 10% cheaper, you’d be an idiot to buy B.

[INST] >What the shit were you spending 600/mo on for food basically five guys every single day im not talking about the burger chain [/INST] Omg now I want a bacon double

[INST] I sell calls. At least I get a credit while limiting profit. Buying puts is more expensive (consider it like an insurance premium) but had higher reward potential and risk (aka expires at zero) [/INST] yeah true. What about the infinite loss of the calls you sell? I guess you have a stop loss or something?

[INST] Why not just make the market only stay open 10 min a day and be done with it? [/INST] Need add more ticks to unixtime

[INST] Yea all my $COST threads got deleted when I told everyone to buy at $150 after that massive 1 month dip from $AMZN news. And all my Tech pre rally threads would get shadow banned. These mods are weird lol [/INST] Yeah, all the while allowing shit post after shit post of robinhood options gains - 'What should my first option be, whats an option' 'I lost 10% of my $100 portfolio'. Mad fucking annoying, why I never post threads.

[INST] I have time [/INST] This comment here is why you win. Some peeps just don't understand to sit the fuck tight and hold.

[INST] That like a petite dildo.. [/INST] No, it is the kind you plug in, instead of using batteries and also it might or might not burst into flames!

[INST] If the US had adopted protectionist policies in the 70s, we’d still be using flip phones right now, not looking at pictures of electric cars in space on phones more powerful that the best computers they had back then. Also billions of people all over the world would be significantly poorer. Yes China cheats, that’s not a good reason to not have trade. [/INST] First off, the earth is flat and those Tesla pictures are fakes. Second, our flip phones are the best. We make really great flip phones. Fantastic flip phones.

[INST] Make sure you collect payment before he goes into the bank though. This way you can leave *just in case* things go south before he is done. [/INST] smart hedge

[INST] FB 170 strike 4/20 blazeits [/INST] I would never play chicken with you. RemindMe! 30 Days 'DD'

[INST] > My point is that it does matter who's in charge. Bush was president, endless wars in the middle east Obama was president, endless wars in the middle east Yeah it matters so much, and dude Obamacare was a huge tax on the middle class [/INST] Is raising taxes more or less responsible than taking on debt for future generations to repay?

[INST] GAIN is a recent addition to my portfolio, but it’s a hedge against rising interest rates and those sweet monthly divs just feel good. Pretty resilient too, or at least low correlation. [/INST] A tiny bit of green in a very very red portfolio today for me. That and ATBPF were it for me.

[INST] Trump pls [/INST] imagine what the market will do if trump gets fb/google/amazon into china though

[INST] is this the original nigga? [/INST] Those DDs used to be fire. If this isn't him I can live with a phony if his he drops DD and the occasional promising of a mixtape that never comes

[INST] I thought this sub was filled with a bunch of asshole capitalists. Turns out the capitalist part ain’t even true. [/INST] Nope just assholes, assholes as far as the eyes can see.

[INST] It can't go down now cause I bought 4 puts.. Or else I make money. [/INST] We need to open a company for WSB to buy options on leverage to manipulate the market to go the opposite direction. Then we can bet our personal holdings on the real direction.

[INST] He's telling him about it... [/INST] I was hoping to trigger the areyoudeaf not

[INST] 3/24 is a Saturday. [/INST] money never sleeps bruh

[INST] He's awesome I'm up bigly since be became president [/INST] Proof or ban

[INST] No one wins in a trade war [/INST] Its basically a pissing contest. You know what happens in in a pissing contest? Everyone gets covered in piss.

[INST] Was wondering the same thing. Super Tencent bag holder here. Naspers taking profits and revenue miss 5% while the profits beat 50%. Itching to add more when this bottoms out. [/INST] I think they are going to be potentially affected by the tariffs which is why all the Chinese internet was being sold off. I need to spend some more time reading though... /u/tikitiger

[INST] everyone knows you need to put the trampoline over the above ground pool [/INST] This is a thing?

[INST] The real DD here is never trust a pornstar who doesnt swallow. [/INST] \^wisdom

[INST] Nice humble brag [/INST] 509k, meh

[INST] What happens if it spiked to 70 after earnings? Do you just lose a shitload? [/INST] I make money just less of it.

[INST] Prime position for an ass fucking? [/INST] Ya itook my loss early and rode FB and sold for a 40% gain im done for a while now.

[INST] Long $MTCH thots are free [/INST] Need a cellphone for tinder. Can't afford it sorry.

[INST] Not if you can drink it fast enough [/INST] found peter navarro's reddit account

[INST] I [/INST] eat shit

[INST] Stahp [/INST] Yer Tramahtizin me

[INST] I'd like to short OP's dick [/INST] It’s already short so not much left of it to short.

[INST] MODS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE [/INST] Mods r ded from getting margin called from having too many mu fds

[INST] Let me stand behind you. I’ll catch the bullet on the way out. [/INST] Not today friend, not today

[INST] The retarded canary in the coal mine just coughed up blood, time to panic for real [/INST] I’m not leaving until the canary is dead and decomposed

[INST] Imagine being so retarded you don't know the right started and maintains 'identity politics' with their religious purity test bullshit in the 80s amd only finding a white male acceptable for president today. [/INST] you're comparing a voting/lobbying bloc with cultural and social identity politics. The religious right/moral majority revival in the 80's were basically a special interest group, sure they had religious a litmus test, but most special interest groups have a litmus test. IE: 'To get my vote as an environmentalist, you have to support clean air initiatives.' Not the same thing my friend.

[INST] I sold at the first dip, made about 10%, left a lot on the table.... Strike was 262.5 [/INST] Apparently we all did though I'm not going to regret taking profits.

[INST] Holy shit, stop, just stop spx, my ass is too sore [/INST] Wait for the fist.

[INST] Faggots and bagholders first [/INST] Everyone's a bag holder when the market tanks. Ppl deep into bonds and utilities get the life boats. RIP...

[INST] F [/INST] F

[INST] Probably not $40, but I'd say there's a super small chance it could hit $50. I no longer underestimate his stupidity. [/INST] he did just replace another guy...

[INST] U [/INST] Finally some originality! Top notch FNGU plug

[INST] Good luck profiting with iv crush [/INST] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZWqMN-H4ns

[INST] did something similar but bought back in right after ( puts ) sold at 3:57pm pz [/INST] Damn. You must've seen some nice profits.

[INST] Well how'd it go? [/INST] They moved it to tomorrow morning.

[INST] Welp, two posts below you've got this gem: > Lol fuck the Chinese. Hope those ling Ching Ming motherfuckers get bigly oofed by them tariffs. Imo you're about to get Ching'd right in the Ming. Bigly oof 4 u [/INST] This is why I come to this sub

[INST] Because he'll make a terrible deal where we sell them all to China [/INST] Don't worry, not the IP just our data

[INST] Fag [/INST] fig

[INST] He's running 2020, right? [/INST] Not after what just happened