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i don't appreciate it when a thriller manipulates the viewer into thinking the plot is interesting , when in fact it's ludicrous . in the case of the general's daughter , the plot is more than capable of intriguing you to a certain point . but at this juncture in the story , the movie begins to fall apart like a crumbling cookie . this predictable summer thriller is only sporadically involving , and that is unfortunately not enough to compensate for all of it's detailed flaws . get past one moment early on where john travolta exercises his southern accent , and you're likely to survive this entire movie . travolta plays criminal investigations divisions officer paul brenner , who's working undercover at a military base when another situation arises : the apparent rape and murder of a young female officer ( leslie stefanson ) . it turns out that the victim is the daughter of general joe campbell ( james cromwell ) . let the investigation begin . with the assistance of fellow cid investigator sarah sunhill ( played rather on-the-sidelines by madeleine stowe ) , brenner uncovers what appears to be an intricate and bizarre homicide case . things begin to get marginally engrossing when we meet colonel moore ( james woods ) , a former commanding officer of the deceased who has a few secrets up his sleeve . woods submits another scene-stealing performance here as he oozes authority , surrounded by clouds of smoke emitted from his cigar . with echoes of his supporting role in true crime , in which he duked it out with clint eastwood in enjoyably profane verbal exchanges , he makes every moment believable . here though , the intense dialogue comes care of confrontations with travolta , as the two send mindful , knowing glares across the room . there are many scenes such as this in the general's daughter , in which the veteran cast performs splendidly under pressure , but the circumstances that tie these meetings together are difficult to absorb . director simon west ( con air ) , shows a watchful eye of delivering a stylish looking thriller , but he fails miserably when it comes to the intellectual part of it . the general's daughter is , more often than not , a predictable and unexciting mess . it does not help matters that the plot is virtually actionless , dragging it's heels all the way at a mind-numbing snails pace . a few brief action scenes , marvelously handled in the editing department , show that the movie could have delivered such a more proficient package . from a director who does such a great job of staging explosions and miraculous stunts , i suggest west should stick with mindless , rip-roaring action features and attempt to avoid future projects like this . still , the movie is certainly not without it's merits . the acting is very good from the majority of the experienced cast . the performances range from commanding ( travolta ) to electric ( woods ) to stiff-as-a-board ( cromwell , who doesn't show off his real talents here ) . madeleine stowe manages to hold her own for a while , but as the female lead in an action-thriller , she doesn't pull through sufficiently . one of the problems with the execution is that it's very predictable . >from minute one , i had few doubts about the identity of the killer in question . the script even unwillingly points him out for us , using familiar techniques to hide his guilt until the unmasking toward the end . in all fairness , we've seen many of the devices used in the general's daughter put to greater effect in other films . the secrets behind the girl's mysterious death are explained gradually , but by the resolution we have tunneled through so much malarkey that it feels unnecessary and surprisingly silly . the general's daughter is not a terrible movie , and it is involving enough to sustain a viewer's attention span for a certain period of time . but it just could have been so much better .

plot : a dude and his brother are driving cross-country and decide to fool around with a trucker on their cb radio . it isn't long before their little prank gets someone put into a coma ( long story ) and the next thing you know , the trucker is following them too . lotsa nuttiness ensues and then , they pick up their other friend , venna , a girl who the dude has a crush on . but what's this . . . ? the trucker is still on their tail and is now harassing all three of the young whippersnappers . . . ? you bet ! buckle up , dorothy . . . this is gonna be one bumpy ride ! critique : a good ol' time at the movies ! here's a film that actually gives away most of its plotline in its trailer and doesn't really bring anything " new " to the forefront ( if you've seen flicks like duel and breakdown , you've crossed this path before ) , but still manages to entertain you gangbusters , with realistic situations , believable characters , funny moments , thrills , chills , the whole shebang . let's give it up for director john dahl , who continues to put out solid films every other year ( if you haven't seen red rock west , do yourself a favor right now , and jot it down on a piece of paper and rent it at your earliest convenience ) . and much like that film , this one has an excellent premise and sets everything up at an even pace . it gives you a little bit of background on each of the main three characters , and then shows you how one small prank , can lead to a whole lotta trouble for everyone ! paul walker really surprised me in this movie , since i've never much thought of him as anything more than a pretty face ( and damn , is it ever pretty or what ? ! ) but here , he actually manages to put some depth behind the looks and that's always appreciated in films in which you are so closely tied to the main characters . sobieski is also good , but she isn't in the movie for as long as you'd think , but the man who really takes this film to another level , is steve zahn . if you've loved this guy as the " goofball " in most of his previous roles , you'll appreciate him even more here , as the dude who starts off as one of the most manic and excited human beings i've seen in quite some time ( " this is so awesome ! ! " ) , only to turn into a man scared out of his wits by the end of the flick . and speaking of the ending , boy , does this movie deliver some chilling moments during its final 15 clicks or what ? ! ? the arrow and i were practically in each others arms ( well , maybe i'm exaggerating , but you catch my drift ) as each minute brought about another turn of events which in turn , took it all to an even higher level . once again , kudos to director dahl for being able to generate that type of intensity , suspense and tension , with a great score , editing , style and camerawork . plot-wise , i too did wonder how the " bad guy " was able to track them so well , but it didn't really bother me all that much ( you can assume that he had bugged their car ? ) . but pretty much everything else in the story stuck like glue and i couldn't help but put myself in their shoes and appreciate their thoroughly desperate circumstance . a great movie with an even cooler ending , this film will likely be remembered as one of the better thrillers of the year . " this is amazing ! ! ! " where's joblo coming from ? american psycho ( 10/10 ) - deep blue sea ( 8/10 ) - eye of the beholder ( 4/10 ) - the fast and the furious ( 7/10 ) - final destination ( 8/10 ) - the glass house ( 6/10 ) - no way out ( 8/10 )

although many people have compared this new gangster comedy to the hit hbo drama 'the sopranos , ' analyze this is witty and entertaining enough to be a good movie in it's own right . billy crystal plays wiseguy shrink ben sobol , who new 'patient' happens to be gangster boss paul vitti ( de niro . ) ben wants nothing to do with vitti , as he's about to get married to laura macnamara ( kudrow ) and having a gangster as a patient wouldn't really help . but ben is soon drawn into vitti worlds , and reluctantly helps vitti to sort his life out . all done in a comic fashion , of course . although never brilliant , analyze this is also never rubbish , which makes for a fun ride . billy crystal , who hasn't had a good role since city slickers way back in the early '90's , is given a role that lets him fully exploit his wiseguy act . he's pretty funny while he does it , and although his character is a little close to his character in city slickers , he's pretty funny . robert de niro is hilarious as vitti , playing it dead straight but coming off as really funny . he's a serious gangster unaware that he is a comic gold mine . lisa kudrow , barely seen as crystals' estranged wife to be , basically reprises her phoebe role from t . v series friends , which is getting rather tiresome , and doesn't come off well on the screen . the supporting cast is apparently made up of the entire cast of casino and goodfellas , and are all funny caricatures , especially vitti's bodyguard jelly ( joe viterelli . ) the film genuinely plays like a proper gangster movie , but with laughs instead of hard ass talking . it sometimes gets a little bloody for a light hearted film , but it strangely fits in . spoofs are made of famous gangster movies , including a nice parody of the godfather . the italian tunes playing throughout the soundtrack contribute to the fun . there's also some odd plot points : fbi guys appear and suddenly disappear for no apparent reason . it is true that analyze this has had a somewhat chequered production history , and perhaps the plot points were expanded in a earlier version of the script . unfortunately , this is hollywood , so we will never know . harold ramis , best known as egon from ghostbusters , has a deft touch with directing comedy , as shown in the immortal groundhog day , and the less immortal caddyshack . all the comic potential in a scene is dug out and presented to the audience . the script , written by ramis along with peter tolan and ken lonergan , starts off funny , remains funny for the most of the film , but sadly peters out somewhat during the last twenty minutes where it wrongly enters more serious territory . the film is short , however , and just before audience interest is waning the film suddenly goes into a rather rushed and unsatisfying ending and the credits roll . analyze this is a good comedy , and is certainly worth watching . robert de niro sobbing is reason enough to watch it , even though it does seem forced , or like a parody ( although i think this was intentional . ) crystal is his most likeable in years , kudrow is given as little screen time as possible , which is a good thing , and de niro is just awesome . it's no goodfellas , and it probably won't be remembered as much as groundhog day , but analyze this is a well done comedy that won't leave you feel cheated .

gregg araki's the doom generation was possibly the very worst film ever made . so why did i see his latest teen bisexual angst opus ? first of all , some of the reviews were fairly positive . also , the cast , consisting of cameos from dozens of washed up ex tv stars ( including christopher knight , eve plumb , shannen doherty , and david leisure ) was promising . last of all , i wanted to give arraki one more chance . i mean , the guy can't be that untalented , can he ? the answer to that question is three letters long . nowhere follows the character dark on his wild and odd journey through los angeles . since arraki doesn't know how to make anything coherent , it's hard to describe the plot . let's just say that dark spends the bulk of the movie whining that his girlfriend won't make a commitment to him and jealous because she sleeps around with other guys and girls . the only remotely compelling storyline involves sarah lassez as a teen who has a chance encounter with a famous tv star . he turns out to be a nice guy who doesn't care for fame and wishes he could walk down the street without being mobbed by fans . this story has a shocking twist and a tragic end that i did not see coming . it is the first time i ever felt any compassion for a character created by arraki , and this can be attributed to the appealing performance of lassez . i thought maybe arraki was improving in his craft . he works better with the camera this time around , especially in the early scenes . halfway through the film , i didn't necessarily find myself enjoying the film , but it seemed like a considerable improvement on the doom generation . then as the movie went on , arraki loses all sensibility and introduces us to exploding heads , twisted sex games , and alien abductions . it's sad , because he almost actually had some decent material here , but he ruined it with his usual in your face " i'm such a renegade maverick filmmaker , look what i can do " attitude . the performances are generally better than in the doom generation , which isn't saying much . at least we don't have to suffer jonathan " i am the most hideous man in america " schaech . we are , however treated to another round of james " i'm more wooden than keanu " duval . sarah lassez gives the best performance in the film , and kathleen robertson ( formerly of 90210 and now arraki's wife ) and rachel true are talented actresses caught up in this mess . of the tv star cameos , john ritter is the most interesting as a deranged right wing tv evangelist . if i prefer nowhere to the doom generation , it is only in the way that i would prefer being assassinated than receive constant physical torture . maybe greg arraki doesn't want you to like his characters . maybe he wants to laugh and make fun of those of us who try to care about them . maybe he just wanted to piss me off . if so , he was successful .

it might surprise some to know that joel and ethan coen , who have brought such unabated lunacy to our movie screens as " raising arizona " and " the hudsucker proxy , " made their feature film debut with " blood simple , " a grim and often gruesome tale of revenge , murder , and literally fatal misconceptions in rural texas . it bears some resemblance , story-wise , to the coens' recent " fargo , " but even the darkly satirical humor and the enjoyably quirky characterizations that characterized that film are scarce here ; " blood simple " is pretty much cold and brutal from beginning to end . the premise of " blood simple " is really just a slight variation on the standard love-triangle/revenge scheme : sleazy bar owner julian marty ( dan hedaya ) hires a shifty private detective ( m . emmet walsh ) to kill his wife abby ( frances mcdormand ) and her illicit lover ray ( john getz ) . things start to go haywire when walsh decides instead to fake the murder with photographic trickery but , upon collecting the money , becomes uncertain as to whether or not marty is capable of keeping his mouth shut about the scheme . to reveal any more details of the story would be to give away too much , but what ensues is a series of bloody ( and i do mean bloody ) confrontations , each triggered by one or more characters misunderstanding what is actually happening . every act of violence or deception in this film makes sense when seen through the perpetrator's eyes , but we , the audience , are made privy to the " big picture " and thus can recognize that each misdeed is somehow either unnecessary or directed at the wrong person . this aspect of the story , along with the intense atmosphere of repulsion and brutality - one gets the sense that if guns and , in one case , shovels , were not available , some of these characters would claw each other to death - are the most effective components of the film . the coens might have done well to title the film " fear and loathing in texas . " some have labeled " blood simple as a modern-day noir , but , while i am not an expert on either genre , it seems more like a horror movie than anything else . the coens seem much more interested in the plot twists and the atmosphere of confusion and paranoia than they do in the characters , and the final sequence is nothing more than a showdown between the one ( relatively ) innocent character and the only one of the murderers left alive . that said , " blood simple " is a very good horror movie ; the fear and suspense here are genuine . the coens also add plenty of quirky touches that nudge the weirdness meter upwards , such as when a character enters an empty room and accidentally steps on a gun , discharging it as it skitters across the floor , or when a murder attempt unfolds in a way such that abby mistakes her attacker for another character who has in fact been killed earlier in the film . that said , " blood simple " is not exactly flawless . for one thing , the motivations for the killings are still a little thin at times ; i can understand that the characters had tracks to cover ( or at least thought they did ) , but i found it a little hard to accept that all of them would so quickly resort to murder . and although they at least didn ? t have anyone get hacked to death with a knife , the coens also aren't quite immune to horror cliches ; they indulge in a prolonged dead-guy-seems-to-have-come-back-to-life-but-then-we-find-out-it's-only-a-dream scene that had me rolling my eyes . the film also ends so quickly after the final confrontation that i found myself wondering if they had simply run out of film . " blood simple " is not quite the masterpiece of neo-noir that many seem to think it is , but it's a decent movie and it showcases the coens' ability to handle suspense and violence in a visceral but non-exploitative manner . i would firmly recommend it to all " coen-heads " as well as anyone looking for something original in a thriller .

another 'independent film' , this comedy , which was brought by miramax for $5 million , is good fun . favreau and vaughn ( the lost world : jurassic park , 1997 ) play mike and trent , two everyday 20somethings on the lookout for women . the film just basically follows their plight on the lookout for lurve , and along the way we get to meet some of their friends , see their attempts at chatting up girls , and just basically get a insight into their lives . and all of this is great fun . swingers doesn't rely on huge special effects , or big name stars to provide entertainment . no , it just has a great script and superb little known actors . the script , by favreau , is great . mike is always missing is girlfriend , who hasn't called him for six months , and every time he meets a girl , he always end up telling her about the ex . the audience feels for this pathetic little man , thanks to the great script . vaughn is 'the money' ( swingers speak for 'the best' ) as the womanizing trent , always on the lookout for a new girl . some of his chat-up lines are awful , but he always seems to get the girl thanks to his 'hard man' nature . vaughns character also gets the best laugh in the film , towards the end in a diner . the conversations that go on between mike and trent are great , but it never quite reaches tarantino standards ( which i suspect the film was trying to reach . ) there are some excellent , laugh out loud jokes in the film , and some superbly funny set pieces ( such as favreau cringe-worhy battle with a answer machine that always cut him off before he finishes his sentence . embarrassing to him , hilarious to the audience . ) mike & trents friends are also good , although there characters seem a bit underwritten , and we never really learn as much as we would like about them . although this is primarily mike and trents film , it would of been nice to learn a bit more about their friends . they just seem to wander aimlessly in the background . but again , the lines they say are usually pretty good , and they do have some funny parts . it's just a shame that they didn't have more meatier roles . the acting is superb . as said above , vaughn is superb as trent , he's definitely the best thing in the film . favreau is also good , acting as 'the little man' very well , and the way he always feels sorry for himself is very funny . graham ( boogie nights , 1997 ) has a small but good role as lorraine , a girl mike finally falls in love with . she hardly features in the film at all , but she still manages to make an impact on the audience . swingers , then , is funny , but it does have some flaws . firstly , the running time is a bit too short . the film comes to an abrupt halt , and i actually wanted the film to carry on longer . it never really comes to a satisfying conclusion , which is a shame , as most films are too long ! also , this type of film has been done too many times , such as sleep with me ( 1994 ) . but these small flaws don't really spoil what is a funny , entertaining comedy .

" . . it's certainly more than just a monster story . . " - kenneth branagh , director/actor/co-writer of mary shelley's frankenstein . kenneth branagh's new motion picture had to compete with all the previous frankenstein-films made throughout the years in almost every part of the world , including the most controversial version of them all - directed by james whale . the dark and stormy nights , the lightning bolts , the charnel houses of spare body parts , the laboratory where victor frankenstein stirs his steaming cauldron of life are effectful . but the center of the film , quieter and more thoughtful , contains the real story . horror-fans will probably be disappointed by the total lack of horror . branagh has instead concentrated on serious issues : morality , philosophy and human elements of the story , and not on old fashioned horror cliches . his version is much closer to the book than all the previous adaptions of the classic novel . the film begins and ends somewhere in the arctic ocean . the year is 1794 . a bold captain is steering his ship through the unknown waters . his gole is to reach the north pole at all costs . as the ice closes around his ship , a figure appears on the horizon . it's a man . exhausted and on the brink of death he approaches the frightening crew . his name is victor frankenstein ( kenneth branagh ) and his story is so terrifying that it will scare everyone from venturing into the unknown . the myserious stranger begins his tale , or more precisely his confession , in geneva , 1773 . he is remembering his childhood and youth . laughter , banquets and parties - a happy life , without troubles or concerns . here victor lived with his father ( ian holm ) , mother ( cherie lunghi ) , his surrogate sister ( helena boham carter ) and his servants in happiness and harmony . this idyllic lifestyle is suddenly changed . like thunder from a quite sky , his mother dies , giving birth to his youngest brother . shocked , baffled and then gradually changed by grief and despair , victor ( already interested in science ) becomes obsessed with death . standing on his mother's grave he says : " oh mother . . you did not have to die . . . no one should ever die . . . i will stop this . . i promiss . . " after proposing marridge to his surrogate sister and promising to return as soon as his studies are finished , victor travels to ingolstadt , in presuite of a medical career . after a while his obsession totally overtakes him as he is working day and night , creating life from death . composing dead bodies , frankenstein wanted to create the perfect man - both physically and mentally . with strong electrical impulses , he managed to breeth life into his creation . the result was ugliness . realizing what he has done , frankenstein tried to undo his work , but it was to late . the creature has escaped . because of the epidemic , frankenstein hoped that his creation has died and returned to his home , making plans for the wedding . for a while everything is as it was before his mother's death . but then one by one his loved once are dying mysteriously . . . whale's picture , although powerful , never managed to capture the total depth of the novel . brannagh has more or less done that . another thing is characters and actors . branagh has developed every character and assembled a magnificent cast . the greatest performances comes from de niro - the monster , that has been played by ( among others ) charles ogle , karloff , lon chaney , bela lugosi , glenn strange , christopher lee , fred gwynne ( as herman munster ) , and now , robert de niro . alone , hated and feared , he is completely aware of his ugliness . at first he is like a helpless , abandoned child , desperately reaching out for love . later when he reads frankenstein's journal , and learns that he is composed of dead bodies , his love turns into rage as he is seeking revenge . he is capable of killing without regret . " i took him by the throughout and lifted him off the ground . . . . and then i slowly crushed his neck . . . and as i killed him , i saw your face . . " that is how he reveals his savage nature to his creator . and yet , he is never quite evil in our eyes and his vaulerbility and his loneliness are palpable : " for the sympathy of one living being i would make peace with all . " rarely has a cinematic interpretation of " the daemon " approached the level of three-dimensionality and humanity with which it is portrayed in the novel . another vital thing is the character of victor frankenstein . in most of the previous adaptions he was simply a mad scientist that trolls the graveyards for corpses and then creates a monster ( god knows why ! ) with the power of an electrical storm . almost no time was granted on his charecter , who is the most important and vital charecter in the novel . here , branagh introduces the character of victor frankenstein , establishes his obsession with the very nature of life and death , sets up the intellectual and ideological conflict between victor and the academic establishment , and somehow manages to build up to a rousing and horrifying creation scene . branagh plays frankenstein with a remarkable understanding of his character . on the outside he is strong , ambitious and talented scientist , but deep down he is unsecure , fragile and vaulerble , constantly haunted by the ghosts from his past . helen boham carter is equally wonderful as frankenstein's surrogate sister , who at the end becomes his wife for a little while , before death drives them apart . the rest of the cast , playing secondary characters , is solid and nothing less than convincing . visually the film is stunning ( especially the makeup ) . the spinning camera , the constantly building-up musical acore , the art direction , the production design , the costumes are all magnificent : from the arctic ocean to the swiss alps and dark forests , to the plague-riddled streets of ingolstadt , mary shelley's frankenstein is a wonder to behold . kenneth branagh directs his film as if the script was written by shakespeare : " . . all i once loved lies in a shallow grave . . . . by my hand . . " . and the film ends exacly as hamlet , when the creature sets both his and his creator's body on fire . the film ends with frankenstein and his creation burning in the almost hellish fire in the darkness . and a terrifying last close-up on the creature's smiling face . can a man create life , then abandon his creation because its appearance horrifies him ? to whom are its actions then attributable : the creature or the being who brought about its existence ? shelley did not answer these questions , but she certainly posed them . following her example , branagh does the same . his film is a tragic saga about playing god . victor frankenstein is not an evil man . he wanted to change the world to the better . in this he represents everything science stands for : acting without doubts , never considering the consequences of his actions . produced by francis ford coppola , frankenstein resembles in some respects coppolas previous film " dracula " . in comparison , i can say that " dracula " has visuals that even " frankenstein " can not live up to . but when it comes to story , characters and casting , " frankenstein " is stronger . but stronger than both of them , on every aspect , is neil jordan's " interview with the vampire " . although the film is not perfect ( the camera that simply refuses to stay still and the occasionally pushy score are at times more tiering than effective ) , these minor faults are easily forgivable , as the picture is otherwise captivating and stimulating . branagh has probably created one of the best ( if not the best ) adaptions of shelly's classic novel .

wonderland is a rather sugary romance film that is as subtle as a ton of bricks falling on you . you can see its plot developing from a mile away . you are lured into its benign story of a single 29-year-old girl looking for a soul mate in boston , as that city is depicted as a mini-wonderland for singles . this is a star oriented film , and the star who carries the film is erin ( hope davis ) . that this is a dating film , about singles who for reasons of fate or luck , or whatnot , have not had a successful match and are now putting most of their energy into fulfilling their careers , is nothing new , this type of film has been done often and better many times in contemporary films . the fictionalized documentary unmade beds did it more provocatively and with more of a sense of urgency than this film . the main quirk in the plot here , is that hope's pushy mother ( hollan ) visits her in boston , sees her daughter's live-in relationship with a radical protester ( hoffman ) breakup and decides to put a personal ad in the newspaper for her harvard medical school drop-out daughter , who works as a nurse . this is done without her knowledge . it is cornball sitcom stuff , but , at least , it is handled as best it could be by the actors and director . it is easy to like erin , she is bright , caring , and attractively blonde . it is equally easy to care for the soul mate she keeps missing contact with , the financially strapped , ruggedly handsome , intelligent 35-year-old alan ( alan ) , who no longer wants to work with his father as a plumber but is doing volunteer work at the aquarium and attending college to be a marine biologist . of course , he comes across as being so good ( though , he does kill some fish in the aquarium ) , that it is hard to believe he's for real , or just some cardboard shining knight put into the story to give it an ideal to shoot for . the contrived story revolves around their near misses in meeting each other in such spots as , the subway , at a restaurant , or on the phone . alan's brother answers erin's ad with a few of his pals , as they each try to respond to her ad in a phony way , making a bet that the first who gets to tongue kiss her , that the others witness , will win the bet . this sub-plot was as obnoxious to see take place as it is to hear told . that we have to see erin go through several dates to prove the point how ego sick these guys are , each one more annoying than the other , culminating in the most obnoxious one of all , that brazilian lover ( jose ) , who is about as charming as a snake-oil salesman , who is actually the one she nearly flies away with for a holiday in brazil , was not only incredulous but downright contrary to the rich presentation of her character that was the heart of the story . anyway , as expected , all's well that ends well , for this watchable piece of fluff , that comes over on screen better than it does when relating its story-line . the dialogue was actually not bad , those dating erin or trying to flirt with her seemed to be uttering authentic things they would actually say in their situation . and , oh , by the way , wonderland refers to the stop on the boston metro , it is where greyhound racing takes place .

hedwig and the angry inch ( 2001 ) john cameron mitchell , miriam shor , stephen trask , michael pitt , theodore liscinski , michael aronov , andrea martin , maurice dean wint , ben mayer-goodman . animation by emily hubley . adapted from the stage play by john cameron mitchell and stephen trask . music and lyrics by stephn trask . written and directed by john cameron mitchell . 91 minutes . rated r , stars ) had " hedwig and the angry inch " came out in the '70s , right after david bowie's " ziggy stardust , " it likely would now be regarded as one of the most popular rock musicals of all time . released in the 500 channel , sensory overload world of 2001 , however , the big screen adaptation of the acclaimed off-broadway musical must do battle with countless other productions clamoring for attention . i almost missed it . every august , the major studios try to squeeze the last few dollars out of summer moviegoers by dumping all of their shakier offerings on the marketplace at once . i was so busy trying to keep up with national releases like " summer catch " and " bubble boy " that i passed over any independent film that looked like it would only have a short local run . but an e-mail from a reader asking why i hadn't reviewed the movie prompted me to make a late evening trip to the theater . thank goodness for readers like him . " hedwig and the angry inch " is a gender-bending glam-rock spectacular packed with great songs . stylistically , the hook-laden tunes are reminiscent of bowie , " bat out of hell " era meatloaf and " the rocky horror show , " without ever seeming like imitations . as with " tommy , " " hedwig " tells a story of isolation , pain and defiance , but without the bloated feel of that beloved , but overrated rock opera . writer-director-star john cameron mitchell and composer-lyricist stephen trask have cooked up a real winner . mitchell stars as hedwig , a singer from east berlin touring a chain of u . s . coffee shops with her pan-slavic band , the angry inch . while the patrons of the run-down restaurants look on in shock , and sometimes horror , hedwig boldly tells the sad story of her life in song . she was once a boy named hansel ( ben mayer-goodman ) , living with his mother ( alberta watson ) and listening to rock and roll on american armed forces radio . life is an exercise in duality for hansel . a wall splits his hometown into two parts . mother describes love as the emotion that comes when you find your other half . as hansel grows up , the duality becomes more pronounced . after initially mistaking him for a girl , a gi from the states ( maurice dean wint ) falls in love with hansel and wants to marry him . alas , hansel will never pass the mandatory physical . mother helpfully suggests a sex change , but the operation goes bad , hence the references to " the angry inch " ( yes , i know this part is squirm-inducing , but stick with me - it's worth it ) . several years later , mr . right is long gone and hansel becomes hedwig , decked out in a farrah fawcett-style wig and fronting a band made up of korean women . hedwig finds a new love in tommy ( michael pitt ) , a beatific lad with a unique take on christianity . but tommy does hedwig wrong , stealing her songs and becoming a superstar . cut to the present . tommy gnosis' stadium tour is thriving and hedwig is suing him . despite warnings from her manager ( andrea martin ) that she could easily be labeled a stalker , hegwig and her new band , the angry inch , continue their coffee shop tour , shadowing the thief by playing whatever city he is in . if this sounds like a bizarre premise for a rock musical , take a few seconds and consider the plotlines of " tommy " and " rocky horror . " as hedwig , john cameron mitchell does a magnificent job taking a character that could have simply been a caricature or an icon and turning her into a compelling human being . mitchell has world-class style and vocal chords to match . even though the backstory is unusually strong , mitchell never forgets that the production is first and foremost a rock musical . everything is propelled by one terrific song after another and , trust me , these are full-fledged rock songs , not the over-processed fluff that passes for rock in most musicals . while mitchell remains in the center of the stage throughout the film , there is much of interest on the sidelines . miriam shor does fine work as yitzhak , hedwig's lover and bandmate , conveying a great deal through expressions alone . decked out in a bandanna and a surprisingly convincing beard , she makes a mighty attractive man . as always , " sctv " veteran andrea martin is a welcome presence onscreen and michael pitt is beguiling as tommy , the angelic-appearing little rat . artist emily hubley adds to the magic with a string of dandy animated sequences that charm the eye while underlining the central themes of the musical . " hedwig and the angry inch " surrounds a weird , funny and touching story with a knockout series of songs performed by an exceptional cast . true originals do not come along very often ? don't let this slip out of town without seeing it .

absolute power , the new film produced and directed by clint eastwood , attempts to be a thriller set in the world of hypocritical presidents and their murderous political staff . it is about as thrilling as a lecture on the mating habits of the south american grasshopper . one can only wonder how an utterly absurd script like the one written by william goldman could have ever interested eastwood . not only is the plot unbelievable and contrived , but even the writing itself lacks any consistency or intelligence . continually underestimating the audience , the film gives us information we already know or dont even need . details essential to the story are so improbably convenient they are annoying ( like why would two unprepared secret service men carry two night-vision goggles in their car ? ) . oddly enough , the initial setup for absolute power offers interesting possibilities . a masterful jewel-thief ( played by clint eastwood ) witnesses the murder of the wife of a powerful millionaire ( played by e . g . marshall ) . while robbing one of marshalls mansions , he is forced to hide in the bedrooms vault . there , through a two-way mirror , he sees the wife and another man engage in passionate foreplay . their game of love quickly turns into a violent struggle as the man starts beating the woman . in self defense , the woman grabs a letter-opener and stabs the man in the elbow . she raises her arm to stab again when she is fatally shot by two secret service men . the man ? he is the president of the united states of america . where does the film go wrong ? it cannot be the acting . clint eastwood , ed harris and gene hackman as the president give type-cast , but decent performances . the cinematography is sufficient ; wild and erratic during action sequences , dark and mysterious during psychologically suspenseful scenes , and calm and warm during dramatic dialogue . even the music is not as bombastic as it usually tends to be in the thriller/suspense genre . the fault clearly lies in the screenplay , and the screenplay alone . while setting up a story about misuse of power , about the true possessors of that power , and about intrigue and double-crossing , it does not resolve it . not one buildup of suspense is resolved by an exciting climax . rather , the tense situations are left dangling at the end , giving the viewer an uneasy sense of incompleteness . an example of this is a very promising and tense buildup of a scene : in an attempt to arrest clint eastwood , the police have set up a trap at a small restaurant . police officers are everywhere , incognito of course . at the same time , not one but two hit men are preparing to kill clint eastwood when he arrives . all three parties are unaware of each others presence . this scene is tremendously exciting and the audience is wondering how clint eastwood , who might suspect this is a trap , will get himself out of this difficult position . he will probably have a brilliant plan , involving ingenious preparations . however , when he arrives at the trap , both hit men miss ( how convenient ) and in the confusion eastwood simply walks away . the buildup of this scene took about ten minutes . ten minutes of close ups of the hit men loading their weapons intercut with the police preparing for the trap . the scene was resolved in less than 20 seconds . . . parallel to the story line of catching the real killer is a cliche emotional tale about the estranged relationship between father eastwood and his daughter . the daughter blames her father for never being there for her , because he was either in jail or robbing a house somewhere . of course their relationship takes a turn for the better during the adventure and they end up a happy family . again , it is commendable that absolute power tries to deviate from the mainstream suspense film by giving room for a dramatic subplot . however , trying is simply not enough ! the second story line should be subtle , original and preferably unpredictable . . . everything this film is not . how could a screenplay like absolute power ever get the funding to be produced ? how could eastwood , who has successfully produced and directed many outstanding films such as the brilliant unforgiven , ever believe in a project like this one ? i am sad to say that my respect for the actor/director/producer has diminished substantially due to this film . director quentin tarantino once said : " i can make a good movie out of any bad script . " director clint eastwood obviously cannot .

gordie boggs ( arquette , aptly cast as a moron , as he is one ) and his best friend sean dawkins ( scott caan . the son of james caan should not be reduced to garbage like this ! ) are two losers from wyoming with no jobs and no girlfriends , who look up to world championship wrestling champion jimmy king ( a terribly casted oliver platt ) , as he is everything they are not . they finally get to see him live and he is screwed out of his title by the evil , ruthless promoter titus sinclair ( a wasted palitaliano , in a role originally meant for real-life wcw president eric bischoff , whose name was written all over the role ! ) . gordie and sean track down king in atlanta and discover that he is not really the english king the wcw writers created for him , but a drunken , ignorant southerner who is as irritated by these two lunkheads as bob newhart was by larry , darryl , and darryl . they sneak him back onto wcw tv , after which sinclair agrees to book him in a steel cage match in las vegas at wcw's next pay-per-view , against his rival , diamond dallas page . if he wins , king gets his title and his career back , plus one million dollars . wcw president eric bischoff , knowing his promotion was desperate with bad writing and ratings skyrocketing down thanks to the far superior world wrestling federation , came up with the idea for this movie hoping it would save wcw . he was then fired and rehired two months ago , but by the time he'd left , they had already been contracted to do the film , and bischoff could not play sinclair ( which , in itself , is for the best , as anybody who has seen him on wcw programming knows that bischoff is no actor ! ) . the characters of gordie and sean show you exactly what eric bischoff thinks of his fans . he thinks of them as young , dumb pathetic idiots who will believe anything that will be put out in front of them is real . that is why he doesn't take the fans into consideration when he books a nitro or a pay-per-view . i have news for you , eric : no wrestling fan in this day and age is dumb enough to believe that professional wrestling isn't for show , unless they are four years old . this is 2000 , you know , not 1985 . bischoff will try to cover up criticism like that by saying it is a comedy , but i have no doubt in my mind that if this had been a dramatic , rocky-style film ( which it probably should have been . professional wrestling is ridiculed enough as it is , why should the first wrestling movie in ten years be a comedy ? ) , gordie and sean would have been portrayed in the same light . anybody who has seen the documentary wrestling with shadows , documenting wwf owner vince mcmahon's double-crossing of bret hart , will probably realize via the reviews and previews of ready to rumble , that it is basically a rip-off of that film's storyline with the poor man's wayne and garth thrown in for comedic affect . you can tell titus sinclair is supposed to poke fun at vince , but any self-respecting wrestling fan knows that sinclair is more inspired by bischoff than vince , and that vince did what he had to do to bret hart . all of these aspects of the film , needless to say , seriously offended me as a wrestling fan . another thing i found disturbing about the film was the romance between gordie and nitro girl sasha ( the lovely rose mcgowan ) . wouldn't it have been easier to bring something new into the relationship rather than revealing she was only working on gordie at sinclair's insistance ? i hate that cliche ! the world wrestling federation would have made a better film . they are the promotion everyone cares about , they are winning the ratings , they have better wrestlers , and they take their fans into consideration and don't treat fans like morons . so , vince , how about a movie ?

what hath kevin williamson wrought ? while the horror movie revival spurred on by his _scream_ has yielded a few decent entries in the genre--_i_know_what_you_did_last_summer_ , _halloween : _h20_ , and _scream_2_ --it must be noted that williamson himself had a hand in the writing of those films . those williamson-less post-_scream_ efforts , among them _wishmaster_ and the recent _disturbing_behavior_ , have been frightening all right--frighteningly , insultingly _bad_ . add to that list _urban_legend_ , which takes a promising premise and runs it through a predictable meat grinder of idiocy . the influence of williamson on screenwriter silvio horta is clear in two key areas . first , the opening sequence , like that of _scream_ , is an extended set piece detailing the singular murder that gets the proverbial ball rolling . this sequence , in which pendleton college coed michelle mancini ( natasha gregson wagner ) is decapitated while driving , also reveals the other obviously williamson-esque touch : the killer's look . dressed in a large hooded parka , wielding an axe , the killer bears more than a passing resemblance to the _i_know . . . _fisherman , sans the hook . one thing horta does not borrow from williamson , however , is the intriguing premise . students at pendleton are being killed by way of urban legends--those contemporary bits of " mythology " passed from person to person , group to group , year to year that become so embedded in the social consciousness . it hardly matters if they are true or not , such as the tall tale that mikey from the life cereal commercials died from a fatal combination of pop rocks and pepsi ( he didn't ) . michelle , slain by the " killer lurking in the backseat " of lore , is but the first to fall prey to an urban legend come true ; as the body count rises , fellow pendleton student natalie ( alicia witt ) suspects not only a link between the murders , but a personal link to her past as well . the setup shows promise , but the story never takes off , due in large part to horta and the director , the aptly named jamie blanks , who fires round afer round of his namesake in terms of suspense and scares . too many of the would-be shocks are fakeouts reliant on bombastic music cues , and the film's chase scenes are riddled with the cliches that _scream_ tried to subvert , like screaming damsels knowingly running themselves into dead ends when they should--and could--run out the front door . but that is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to cliches ; there's also the climactic villain confession , in which a contrived and way-too-convenient motive is revealed , not to mention the credit card opening up the locked door trick , which is a cliche in any film genre . banks and horta's ( intentional ) attempts at humor are also lame ; the fact that the best gags are lazy , in-jokey references to the other credits of co-stars joshua jackson and rebecca gayheart says a lot about the imagination of their humor . some laughs are also had when the rather predictable identity of the killer is revealed , but i'm not so sure if some of the more hilarious things about it were meant to be so . the filmmakers don't get much help from their onscreen talent . i was far from a fan of bland _i_know . . . _ starlet jennifer love hewitt , but i'd talke her any day ove the dreadfully stiff and uncharismatic witt , whose inept attempts at emoting were often met with laughter ; witt has a pefect foil in her equally pesence-challenged leading man , jared leto . _dawson's_creek_ star jackson mugs his way thorugh a glorified cameo ; gayheart displays all the depth and range of , well , a noxzema spokeswoman ; and robert englund lends the film little more than his freddy krueger pedigree as a folklore professor . granted , the cast is hampered by their material . loretta devine , who has done some fine work in films such as _waiting_to_exhale_ , is saddled with the ridiculous role of a pam grier-worshiping campus security guard . the recently resuscitated horror genre cannot rely on the efforts one man--namely , kevin williamson--to stay alive . if other filmmakers continue to make such shoddy product as _urban_legend_ , the genre looks to once again go the way of screen slashers' many victims .

brian de palma's snake eyes stars nicolas cage's evil twin , who confusingly uses the same stage name as his talented brother . like a foreign tourist who screams his lines in english to ensure that he will be understood , cage yells with the ferocity of a man with a bad case of caffeine overload . de palma , whose last great film , the untouchables , was crafted over a decade ago seems to have lost his magic . in snake eyes , he manages to elicit some of the worst performances possible out of a skilled cast . only gary sinise rises slightly above the hackneyed material . the rest of the actors become caricatures in this by-the-numbers thriller . ryuichi sakamoto's atmospheric and melodramatic music dominates almost every scene . heavy on the long violin notes , its rhythm is punctuated by thunder . ( the script by de palma and lost world's david koepp sets the action during a hurricane in an attempt to pump up the adrenaline level and the noise . only the latter is achieved . ) cage plays rick santoro , a corrupt atlantic city cop who shakes down criminals to get betting money . the movie takes place over a single evening when a world championship fight is being held . with a flashy , bad wardrobe and a gold cell phone , rick is an obnoxious cop who doesn't know when to shut up . spouting cliched and ridiculous dialog , he screams such lines as , " i was made for the sewer , baby ! " actually the line is more apropos for the movie as a whole . sinise plays kevin dunne , a naval officer who is in charge of the security for the secretary of the navy , who has come to watch the fight . but most people in the film are not who they seem to be , and the thin script makes all of them easy to guess . the plot , which is told in endless flashbacks , concerns the assassination of the secretary through a scheme set up by some malevolent businessmen ? that adjective is , of course , redundant in hollywood thrillers . the flashbacks become repetitious with the same scene shown again and again , sometimes from a different perspective and sometimes not . although a brian de palma film requires a certain amount of gratuitous violence , this one is remarkably tame for the man who became famous when he made carrie . the movie's outline has some promise , but the movie itself is leaden . the film takes itself all too seriously . at best , it is a 1940s-style b movie . a little humor would have helped the script some , but a complete rewrite would have been better . and , although i hate to say it , a different director would have been the biggest improvement . snake eyes runs 1 : 39 . it is rated r for violence and would be acceptable for teenagers .

reading the cast and director for the new mobster comedy , " analyze this , " i asked myself , " how could this miss ? " robert de niro ( " taxi driver , " " raging bull " ) , billy crystal ( " city slickers " ) , lisa kudrow ( " the opposite of sex " ) , and director harold ramis ( " national lampoon's vacation " ) . these are usually reliable filmmakers ( well , okay , crystal has been in a sizable slump lately ) , and tellingly , the first half-hour of " analyze this " was very funny . unfortunately , as the running time ticked away , i began to think that the first thirty minutes had , unbeknownst to me , been rewound and were being replayed another two-and-a-half times . the film has obtained a clever premise , but does not have any idea what to do with it as it progressively becomes more and more repetitive until i finally stopped enjoying or caring about what was happening on the screen . middle-aged psychoanalyst ben sobel's ( billy crystal ) life is finally going very well . although he has never gotten along with his own uncaring parents , especially his father , who is also a psychiatrist , ben has an easy-going teenage son ( kyle sabihy ) and is about to travel down to miami to get married to his tv news reporter girlfriend , laura ( lisa kudrow ) . in little but a flash , however , ben suddenly sees his plans ruined when he accidentally hits the car of the mob and subsequently gets paid a visit from famed mafia guy paul vitti ( robert de niro ) , who desperately wants counseling , even though he himself won't even admit to having anxiety attacks . ben tries to help paul , mostly so he will get him off his back , but the plot gets more complicated when paul follows ben to his wedding , which ends with a man dropping eight stories to his death . it seems to ben that no matter what he does , paul vitti will not go away , and the more they become involved , the more ben's potentially happy life gets into danger . " analyze this " has a few laughs sprinkled throughout ( mostly in the first half ) , but i always had the nagging thought that what director ramis and writers peter tolan , ramis , and kenneth lonergan had done was thought of one joke ( robert de niro lightly spoofing his serious past mafia roles , while terrorizing and becoming buddies with comic billy crystal ) and then tiresomely recycled it for the duration of the 106-minute running time . admittedly , de niro is very funny here ( and i can't remember the last time you could use that adjective to describe him ) , and crystal is in top-form , but the whole movie is weighed down directly on their shoulders with nothing else to support them , including a substantial plotline . since " analyze this " bills not one , not two , but three writers , you'd think that they would have been able to work together to fix the noticably large flaws , but they must have all been on auto-pilot . one of the most disappointing and wasted opportunities in the film is the way the movie deals with the supporting characters , all of which have next to nothing to do and aren't even given multi-dimensional characters to attempt to develop . coming off of her oscar-caliber work in two of last year's best films , " clockwatchers " and " the opposite of sex , " lisa kudrow's throwaway " girlfriend " role is an incredible step down . sure , kudrow's fellow " friend " jennifer aniston did the same thing two weeks ago in " office space , " but at least we got to spend a little time with aniston . kudrow , meanwhile , mostly just stands around , no doubt wondering why she agreed to appear in this film in the first place . chazz palminteri , as rival gangster primo , fares even worse , in a role that plays more like an afterthought than an actual character . finally , molly shannon ( rising film star and cast member on " saturday night live " ) has a rousingly hilarious one-scene cameo right at the beginning as one of crystal's patients and then completely disappears . too bad , considering that the supporting actors surely have proven that they have the abilities to support de niro and crystal . once " analyze this " approached its second wedding scene leaving kudrow's laura standing alone at the altar once again , i had become thoroughly annoyed by where the story had gone , and had mostly lost respect for the character we were supposed to sympathize with the most , ben . afterwards , the climactic scene with ben posing as a fellow mob boss in place of the depressed paul , became a real laugh-free dead-zone , losing its last remaining comic punches . " analyze this " proves that talent can certainly help any film out , but when the written material isn't up to their level , what we are virtually left with is a vacuum of thin air .

what are the warning signs of a * terrible * movie ? making it's debut at the dollar theater ? locally , chairman of the board did just that . having the annoying prop comic scott thompson ( better known as carrot top ) in the lead role ? chairman of the board , once again . how about an overly exhausted , paper thin plot approached with utter incompetence ? did somebody say chairman of the board ? that's right , carrot top's long dreaded major motion picture debut ( at least for a starring role ) is poking up in a handful of theaters across the country . chairman of the board stars the obnoxious , wannabe-zany king of redheaded standup comics as a lazy but creative , inventive but uneventful generation x- er named edison . living with a pair of surfer dudes in a small , rented house , edison bounces from job to job , always squandering away the money on his eccentric ( to say the least ) inventions and ignoring crucial responsibilities such as rent . this has the crabby landlady , ms . krubavitch ( estelle harris , best known as george constanza's mother on " seinfeld " ) , threatening an eviction if past due expenses aren't furnished post haste . as luck would have it , edison soon meets armand mcmillan ( jack warden ) , an old surfer dude who just so happens to be president of the multi-million dollar mcmillan industries . sharing a passion for more than just riding waves , armand is deeply impacted by the young inventor's notebook of dreams and ideas , and when the old man dies soon afterward , edison learns he is named a benefactor in armand's will . predictably , edison acquires the entire corporation and has to maintain productivity with absolutely no knowledge of the business world . predictably , there is a bitter nephew ( larry miller ) whose lesser inheritance fuels resentment that will lead to an elaborate sabotage plot . predictably , there is an attractive employee ( courtney thorne-smith ) whose initial repulsion will transform into love for our doofy protagonist . predictably , the man who knows nothing will fight against the odds and give the company it's most profitable and successful turnaround ever , all because he ran things by common sense and not greed . it's as though writers turi meyer , al septien , and alex zamm ( meyer and septien also wrote leprechaun 2 together ! ) pulled a plot out of a hat and worked carrot top into it . the jokes , the " surprises " , the developments - all of them run such a predictable path , it may only be carrot top's signature brazen red hairdo that sets this one apart from the myriad of similar films . a movie this bad speaks for itself . what's left to say when every element the movie possesses is a shameful retread of movies past ? the script is 100% recycled , the direction is hokey , and the acting is absolutely horrible . it is only thorne-smith who seems to take her job seriously , an accomplishment which surely deserves the medal of honor . she certainly went beyond the call of duty - she has to kiss carrot top ! ! ! ! ! ! ( barf bag , please ! ) movies like this give the audience nothing to do but ponder just how many synonyms for " bad " there really are . chairman of the board , without a doubt , deserves each and every one . the only way this won't end up on everybody's " bottom ten of the year " list , is if they were lucky enough never to have seen it . just because you can't miss his outlandish fiery mane , don't skimp on avoiding this abhorrent feature .

when bulworth ended , i allowed myself a sigh of relief : ? it is possible for me to enjoy political satire . ? there have been several recent political films that didn't do a whole lot for me -- wag the dog , for instance , i found to be an intelligent but heartless film , while primary colors is unbearable and unwatchable in its awfulness . ? bulworth is a far better film than these , both in its execution and lasting impression . ? it's a tremendously funny and intelligent picture , but it also has an emotional center -- writer/director/star warren beatty allows the audience to identify with his character , and , in turn , we like him and actually care about the story . ? beatty plays incumbent democratic senator jay billington bulworth ; the film opens and we see bulworth sobbing as he watches his television spots over and over again . ? he hasn't slept in days , nor has he eaten , and , almost instantaneously , he goes insane . ? he's not stark raving mad ( not outright , anyway ) , but he's definitely bonkers . ? it's the final weekend of his campaign , and his assistant , murphy ( oliver platt ) has written him a speech to feed to a group of black people in a church in the ghetto . ? bulworth begins the speech , but suddenly goes off track and just starts being honest . ? " you mean , " one lady asks , " the democratic party doesn't care about the african american community ? " ? " well , " he shouts , laughing , " isn't that obvious ? " the story is propelled by a device in which bulworth puts out a contract on his own life ( he muses later that it's a bad thing to make decisions when you're suicidal ) ; he keeps seeing a man in sunglasses ( graham beckel ) whom he believes to be the hitman . ? bulworth also meets nina ( halle berry ) with whom he becomes infatuated . ? suddenly , in the short span of this weekend , bulworth's no-nonsense " truth in politics " methods become a national sensation , and he shoots ahead in the polls despite the fact that he's appearing on television wearing gang clothes and spewing more profanity than coherent sentences . beatty's work on both sides of the camera is excellent . ? his script and direction are both extremely sharp , as is the surprisingly strong characterization of bulworth himself . ? here is a man who's reached his limit , and his way of lashing back is by screwing over the entire political structure . ? i like that the film doesn't take a clear shot at any of the political parties or affiliations , but at politics in general and how everything is run by the rich ( although the anti-rich sentiments do get a bit tiresome by the end of the film ) . ? some of the segments are simply hilarious , such as a lengthy rap that he delivers at a luncheon dedicated to him . ? much of the film is completely absurd , but that's the fun part about it . ? it's an angry , serious film at the core , but the package that beatty has created is so much more accessible than recent attempts in the genre . ? what adds to this feeling is beatty's portrayal of bulworth ; this is a performance that deserves recognition on a higher scale . ? beatty is so much fun to watch here -- he's always funny , but he's also subtle in ways that flesh out his character without dialogue or hugely noticeable actions . ? beatty is so good that bulworth , despite his shortcomings as a human being , is an entirely sympathetic and likable character almost from the beginning . the supporting cast is vast and colorful . ? berry is luminous , as always , and adds to her repertoire of solid supporting roles . ? don cheadle has a good role as a drug dealer who uses gun-toting toddlers to do his dirty work . ? oliver platt is an actor who should be careful , for someday i fear he may induce a heart attack with the intensity of his acting ( though he's very funny to watch ) . ? paul sorvino adds the southern accent to his list of mastered inflections . is bulworth offensive ? ? i suppose some may see it that way . ? i wasn't offended by the film , but then again , i hardly care about politics . ? i think that people who find this film offensive will just be blindsided by the honesty of the story . ? the film isn't perfect , of course -- the ending didn't quite work for me , and the a few of the scenes between bulworth and nina feel forced ( although the eclectic dance sequence is fantastic ) . ? but these are minor quibbles about an otherwise brilliant film . ? bulworth is a smart , uproariously funny picture that proves to me that political satire can scratch far deeper than the surface . ?

it seems like i'm reviewing cheeseball horror movies on a monthly basis now . scream revitalized a genre the studios are now intent on burying into the ground again-the serial killers in these new slasher movies have nothing on sony and miramax in the " relentless " department . i still know what you did last summer is a terrible film in many respects , but in the wake of the stupefyingly bad urban legend , it's citizen hook . jennifer love-hewitt reprises her role as buxom teenager julie james-who apparently escaped certain doom at the end of the last movie by . . . waking up . she lives in fear of ben willis , the vengeful fisherman-victim of a hit and run by julie and her pals . paranoid and beat , she accepts a free trip to the bahamas from her friend karla ( norwood ) , winner of the local radio station's 4th of july getaway giveaway . bikini-ready julie invites boyfriend ray ( prinze , jr . ) , who-and here's the movie's biggest mystery-turns her down , but changes his mind and plans to surprise her before take-off . until he gets a roadside visit from captain hell-liner himself , that is . unaware of this and feeling shunned , julie goes on vacation , anyway , with karla , karla's boyfriend ( pfeiffer ) , and will ( matthew settle ) , a real boy-next-door type who's sweet on julie . to make a long story short-i can't believe it took a paragraph to describe the set-up for this gratuitous sequel-the trip is a disaster . not only is it storm season , not only is the desk clerk ( the frighteners' jeffrey combs ) a jerk , not only are the few island residents and our heroic vacationers getting picked off by the resourceful willis one-by-one , but the karaoke machine isn't working properly ! ( you think killing is hard ? try reprogramming a laserdisc so that gloria gaynor's " i will survive " now contains the lyric " i still know what you did last summer ! " ) all is not lost-ray is on his way to save the day , and a helpful witch doctor is saying little prayers for julie and co . this picture is really about breasts : two of them . julie , like a good horror heroine , never does up her shirt to the collar , always wears white in the rain , and keeps sexy underwear on in case of a sudden desire to tan . based on the hormonal charge i got out of the movie , i can't imagine what it was doing to the ten year old boy who sat next to me-he gets jennifer love-hewitt , and my generation got heather langenkamp ! lucky bastard . i didn't like i know what you did last summer and i can't say i liked this continuation any more or less . the pacing in both films is languid-how is it that so much time passes with neither murder nor character development ? i still know what you did last summer has a better sense of humour than the first one , though , and at least it explains away willis's random selection of victims . ( i don't think the hotel maid or the stoner dude had the slightest idea what julie did last summer . ) director cannon ( judge dredd ) is a competent filmmaker but not a particularly imaginative one-if there is a part three ( what on earth would they call it ? ) , and the fun denouement suggests there will be , here's my suggestion : hire a filmmaker with flair , someone who can really energize this stillborn series-someone who won't rely on so many shock notes . and let that person run wild with the camera . ( aside : if blandy [sic] must appear in the next one , try to keep the number of times she says " baby " to a minimum . thanks in advance . )

andrew lloyd webber's musicals , preferably his early work with lyricist tim rice , present a musical which is totally unlike any musical before its time . webber and rice do not subscribe to the gaity of such musicals as " oklahoma ! , " or the slapstickness of shows like " a funny thing happened on the way to the forum . " they instead tackle hot issues from our past , and view them differently , and pack them together with redundant , catchy music , as well as thoughtful lyrics . like " jesus christ superstar , " which examined the rise and fall of jesus in his last days from a fame perspective ( in the cool tune " superstar , " a dead judas comes back from the dead to ask jesus why he didn't spread his message wider ) , " evita " takes an inventive stance on its topic , this time being the famed wife of argentinian dictator , juan per ? n , eva , who slept her way to the top and became famous chiefly because she got attention , much like the woman playing her : madonna ( although i think madonna did rise to the top for her musical talent , among other things ) . " evita " deals with the rise and fall of eva per ? n , a woman who captured the heart of the nation after marrying juan ( jonathan pryce ) , then died at the young age of 33 , creating an international stir of mourning not unlike that of princess di ( the two do share a bit in common , although it wasn't like di slept to " the top " ) . webber and rice sure chose bizarre topics for their musicals , but they always have a point for doing it . here , they wish to expose her for what she is , but still show that despite all of her many drawbacks , her lying , and covering up for her fascist husband , but show that she was still a good woman with fairly good intentions , and her death was very sad . it's also a musical , with almost no words not unsung . the film plays like a rock opera , much like their " jesus christ superstar , " with many giant musical sequences just like the old musicals , even if they do possess very intelligent lyrics , which create not only an intellectually enlightening experience , but also a very entertaining one . after all , this is a musical , and webber's musicals never undermine this . they are a balance of energy and intellectual depth , walking on a fine line between the both , and never stumbling on either side . this is why the beginning of " evita " is kind of a let-down . okay , it is a let-down . i'm not saying the opening moments are bad , because they're pretty good . but what comes after is a lifeless , un-entertaining , and totally unrewarding sequence where she cons a singer ( jimmy nail ) into taking eva to buenos aires after a one-night stand . in the musical , it's a fun , energetic sequence , culiminating in the show stopper , " buenos aires , " which is also lifeless . then a punch is pulled as we see eva being screwed over by the singer , instead of her leaving him , where she ends up singing the sad tune , " another suitcase in another hall , " which was meant for a later character , screwed over by eva . the portrayal of eva in the beginning is too soft , seeming like parker and oliver stone , who adapted it for the screen , are afraid to present her for what she is , even while it's being narrated by a hater of eva's , the omnipotent ( antonio banderas ) , who presents her in a negative light . for a while , it looks like alan parker can't pull it off . however , the film pulls itself together in a flash , and after that song is over , and the giddily nihilistic song " goodbye and thank you , " where we see eva go through a long line of lovers who help her ascend , is magnificent , darkly comical , and just gleeful . from this point on , the film is hypnotic , satisfying , and satirical . no more punches are thrown , and the basic outline of the original musical are in tact . we see eva woo and marry juan , get him out of jail , rise to stardom , falter a bit , come back , and then gradually die of cancer ( i think it was because of cancer ) . more importantly , many of the themes from the musical carry on with this , as well as some filling-in-the-gaps reconnassaince work . juan , who is pretty underwritten in the musical , is given some extra scenes , and exposed as what he was for eva : an accessory . a muted scene where he tries to visit her respective room but is shunned allows us to learn more about juan , and understand his sadness more than we did before . >from the " goodbye and thank you " number on , the film shows eva trying to cover up for the horrible government by doing cheap and petty things which wooed a nation , and saved a government , even while it left the nation's people downtrodden . but despite this , the nation still loved eva , and when she slipped into death , the world mourned her because she was a star . that's when our narrator , ch ? , comes out to show that she wasn't the great woman she really was , and expose her fame . describing this character is difficult , mainly because he has no real realistic background ( he's said to be based on the revolutionary ch ? guevera , but the two probably could have never met , like they do in the film ) , but he serves as a perspective on eva , but even his perspective can't help us from feeling bad when eva dies a pathetic death . alan parker , no stranger to bizarre musicals ( he's done " fame , " " the committments , " " bugsy malone , " and " pink floyd the wall " - the latter which is absolutely brilliant ) , nails the film , exposing everything for what it is . we cry for evita at the end because we feel we should , by the way it is presented . his direction is manipulative for a reason : to show the mourning for what it is . and there is energy throughout , with lots of bright colors , and scenes which are cinematically entertaning , as well as enriching and deep , such as the balcony scene where she sings " don't cry for me , argentina , " and her death sequence , which is poignant becuase of how sad it is . madonna's golden globe winning performance is much like the movie : starts kinda downhill then goes up quickly , remaning there for the rest of the film . at the beginning , she looks like she's too busy concentrating on her singing to act , but she eventually gets it right , though never really getting the presence of , say , patti lupone ( who did the role in its american premiere back in the late 70s ) . her death , though , is brilliant . her singing could be better though . i know she took lessons to improve her range and all , but it still sounds like she's trying to hard . she sounds way too soft in several places where she should be comanding ( like . . . patti lupone - i heard her sing on an old " evita " cd , and you could just feel her stage presence without even seeing her ) . but it's generally very good , although not up to the brilliance the role really requires . antonio banderas , who is almost like a guilty pleasure these days ( i'm one of the few people who thinks he rocks ) , is extremely comanding in his performance , presenting a lovable narrator . his singing is very good , though nothing compared to the original , mandy patinkin . he does have a pretty good singing voice , and a great range . and jonathan pryce is pretty awesome , although very brief at times , in his role as juan , seeming to put on a poker face for his melancholy facade . although it gets off to a rocky start ( " rocky " 's polite for what it really is ) , it soon picks up and becomes a wonderully poignant musical . like the other musical released in '96 ( woody allen's " everyone says i love you " ) , it's a reminder that the hollywood musical may be dead , but it can come back every now and then for a brief performance .

vegas vacation is the fourth film starring chevy chase and beverly d'angelo as the heads of the hapless griswold family . as with the other three films , their two children , rusty and audrey , are played by a revolving series of actors . this time ethan embry and marisol nichols fill the roles . also back , is cousin eddie ( randy quaid ) , the slob relative who seems to bring problems wherever he goes . in vegas vacation clark griswold ( chase ) decides to take the family on vacation to las vegas so that he and wife ellen ( d'angelo ) can renew their wedding vows . it is at this point when comedy is supposed to ensue . apparently the filmmakers thought that putting the griswolds into las vegas would be so funny on its own that they wouldn't bother to write any jokes into the script . at least that's the way it looks when watching this turkey . about half way through vegas vacation i began to have serious doubts as to whether there would actually be a single laugh in the entire film , since there had been none up to that point . by the end of the movie i had actually snickered a couple of times , and i had smiled at a couple of gags . i might add that none of the funny ( and i use the term loosely ) moments came as a result of anything chase , d'angelo or quaid were involved in . they might as well have stayed home for as much as they contributed to this film . the two best things in this movie were ethan embry and marisol nichols as the griswold kids , who manage to have a couple of their own adventures . rusty becomes a vegas high roller , providing most of the film's best moments . every time chase and quaid were involved in a gag , it just made it more and more apparent that they should have stopped this series after the third film . which brings me to the best moment of the film . the griswolds are driving down the highway and holiday road ( the theme from the original vacation ) begins to play . christie brinkley and her red ferrari ( also from the first movie ) drive by . it was a cute moment , but all it really did was remind me just how funny the first film had been , and just how far that this series has fallen . too bad .

the 13th warrior reeks so badly of melodrama and poor acting that it carries a worst scent than a canine's least appetizing residue . the best part of the film would be a close contest between the closing credits and a brief moment in the middle where the screen goes entirely white and you hope that the film has slipped and caught ablaze in the projector . my vote goes for the ending credits , where you can start trying to put the awful experience behind you . ibn fahdlan ( antonio banderas ) is an important official who is banished from his home for sleeping with another man's wife . he encounters a group of norse warriors who convince him to join them on a mysterious journey to be taken by 13 men . fahdlan is chosen as the 13th and last warrior in a moment that is so desperately overacted and overdone that numerous persons at the screening i attended broke out into laughter . the movie proves to be a new low point for banderas , who's acting seems closer to that of his role as the lover and caretaker for a dying gay man in 1993's philadelphia , than that of a warrior . in the film's supposed pay off scene , he exclaims " i was wrong , these are not men ! " , a line intended to be the most memorable quote of the production . unfortunately , banderas delivers it in a fashion that makes chevy chase's career look like oscar material . the film , based on michael crichton's best selling novel , eaters of the dead was shot under that name some three years ago , and after numerous rewrites not only does the dialogue seem completely phony , but the plot is incredibly difficult to follow . at the same time , the 13th warrior makes you think about numerous questions . questions like " why do the characters always have perfect lighting on them even when it is pitch dark ? " , " why does no one ever have blood cover both sides of their face , but rather just one side ? " and finally , " will the manager give me a refund ? " 90 minutes into the 103 minute film , a man invites of the warriors " come with me , there is a woman who can help . " unfortunately , there is nothing that could help this film . the most appropriate ending would have been for the 13 men to join hands , form a chorus line , and break into a rendition of " springtime for hitler . "

you've probably heard the one about the priest and the rabbi , but never with the same dosage of featherweight charm that is sprinkled over `keeping the faith' . it's a fluffy comedy , thoroughly glazed with a sense of innocuous innocence and good cheer , regarding two moral topics -- love and religion -- and how a romantic triangle causes the two to collide head-on . as youngsters , brian finn , jacob schramm and anna reilly were an inseparable trio . while their friendship progressed , anna always had the compassion to shower them both with the same love and support , so neither would feel excluded . but tragedy soon struck , as anna was forced to move away . now adults , brian ( edward norton ) and jacob ( ben stiller ) hold similar but contrastive jobs . the likable and kind-hearted father brian is a catholic priest , while the spry and outgoing jacob acts as a jewish rabbi . on the basketball court , they refer to themselves as `the god squad' . in the relationship field , brian abides by his catholic principle of celibacy , but jacob has reached the point where finding a jewish bride is practically mandatory . everything changes when anna ( jenna elfman ) returns to new york to visit her childhood chums . now a workaholic , she devotes endless hours per week to her business , but does find spare time to reminisce with brian and jacob - both ecstatic about seeing their elementary school sweetheart once again . with these oddball ingredients tossed into one cocktail , there's bound to be some awkward romance between our three central characters . predicting the outcome is not entirely difficult , but `keeping the faith' is open , entertaining and refreshingly relaxed as it travels en route from point a to point b . edward norton has emerged as one of the finest , most flexibly versatile actors in hollywood - a success story sparked by his critically lauded debut in the 1996 thriller `primal fear' . after shockingly bitter roles in `american history x' and , most recently , david fincher's vicious `fight club' , a quaint romantic comedy might seem like a peculiar choice . not in the least . norton slips into the director's chair for the first time with `keeping the faith' , and here his incisive , resourceful approach helps add additional craft to a surprisingly perceptive screenplay by stuart blumberg . weighing every aspect , it is unanimously an impressive directorial debut . in addition , norton pushes all the right buttons with the sheepish sweetheart brian , generating a thoroughly likable screen presence . stiller ( the zipper guy from `there's something about mary' ) is firm and funny , boasting a fully-ripened comic maturity . elfman's perky repetition can grow tiresome ( such is occasionally the case on tv's `dharma and greg' ) , but she seems perfectly rambunctious here . the remaining cast members offer fine support , from anne bancroft as jacob's animated jewish mom to milos forman as an elderly priest quick to contribute intelligent advice . `keeping the faith' is the perfect date flick . . . though perfection is not a word to associate with the film in general . there is turbulence during the process of lift-off , as numerous failed attempts at establishing the situation cloud the projected comedy ahead . once the film does settle in , it is often funny and always cheerful . stiller , norton and elfman have created three enormously lovable personalities . we enjoy their interaction , understand their various dilemmas and feel humbled to realize everything rings perfectly true . this is excluding the ending , which is acceptable and all , but seems to lack the charm and spontaneity of the preceding romantic entanglements . nonetheless , a narrowly mishandled finale certainly won't wipe the smile off your face , nor anyone else's in the audience . `keeping the faith' is a highly enjoyable romantic comedy , although one that is more observant while surveying the questions of love rather than religion . aww , what the hell . the quality is not quite heaven-sent , but this little charmer could revive our `faith' in a potentially tired filmmaking genre .

its a stupid little movie that trys to be clever and sophisticated , yet trys a bit too hard . with the voices of woody allen , gene hackman , jennifer lopez , sylvester stallone , and sharon stone , this computer-animated yak-fest ( think toy story [1996] filled with used merchandising ) is one for the ant-eaters . the main story is the independence of a worker named z ( allen ) . he wants more to life than just digging away underground for the colony . when he finds out about ``insectopia , " a mythical place where all insects can run free , z , along with his colony's princess ( stone ) , journey out into the world to find a meaning for life . about 15 minutes into the picture , i began to wonder what the point of the film was . halfway through , i still didn't have an answer . by the end credits , i just gave up and ran out . antz is a mindless mess of poor writing and even poorer voice-overs . allen is nonchalant , while i would have guessed , if i hadn't seen her in the mighty and basic instinct , stone can't act , even in a cartoon . this film is one for the bugs : unfunny and extremely dull . hey , a bug's life may have a good time doing antz in .

full metal jacket , very much like every other hard-hitting film about the vietnam war , is an shocking , emotional depiction of the war that effected almost everyone in america . this film is more like platoon than any other in the way that it chronicles the struggles of a young man ( private joker , played by matthew modine ) during his tour in the vietnam war . however , full metal jacket gives the audience an insight into combat life very rarely seen before : boot camp . these sequences are considered to be the best part in this three act film , even though i found the later portions to be equally stunning . as in platoon , full metal jacket gets off to a quick start . the opening sequence is the initiation for the recruits , which is getting their heads shaved . from there , they find themselves standing at attention and receiving their orders from the extremely hard and punishing sergeant hartman , played extremely well by the former drill instructor r . lee ermey . apparently , the solution was found for the perfect man to play a drill instructor in the movies , because ermey depicts his character extremely well and will make you thank whomever that you were never subjected to such horrible situations . private joker gets off on the wrong foot with the sergeant , as does the large bodied private leonard lawrence ( vincent d'onofrio ) , whom is dubbed 'gomer pyle' by sgt . hartman . the film is continually narrated by private joker , in which he explains his visions on what is going on . the entire corps , although repeatedly hammered by sgt . hartman , continues on . private pyle , however , seems to be the rag doll for the drill instructor . he continually absorbs the worst punishment and humiliation , and it basically does not stop . that is , until sgt . hartman comes up with a new plan . he will punish the rest of the soon-to-be-marines for pyle's goof-ups , even after joker was assigned to help him out in the best way he can . pyle then receives punishment from his fellow recruits , and things take a turn for the worst . pyle proves that not everyone is emotionally , physically , and mentally cut out for the life of a marine . after graduation , joker is sent over to the height of the action in order to document the war , which is his service . he is not a member of the infantry , and it is unclear if he will ever actually find himself in combat . when he sets out on a documenting mission , this question becomes very clear from the start . joker joins up with a platoon , along with his hometown friend cowboy ( arliss howard ) , and follows their everyday actions , interviewing and filmming them along the way . he also soon finds himself in a position in which he must fight , or die . again , as in the tradition of vietnam war films , full metal jacket can be debated as to whether it is an anti-war film or not . a few of the more powerful scenes toward the end will leave you to decide . full metal jacket succeeds extremely well in documenting the life of a young man in vietnam , as have others in the past . this film , in different ways , also can be viewed as more powerful than others . that , again , is up for debate and depends on your opinion . one thing is for sure , however ; no one ever wants to experience the absolute hell that these soldiers are subjected to . unfortunately , many did .

synopsis : valerie , a high school junior who doesn't look a day under 22 , writes bad poetry , complains about how much she hates school , fantasizes about a young guy on trial for raping and murdering six women , chooses him as a pen pal , and plays hooky to see him in court . after a jailbreak , the killer puts on big sunglasses , wears a half-buttoned jacket , and uses his fatal charm to go after valerie . comments : " alan smithee " directed fatal charm , which should have been more appropriately titled " fatal bore " or " fatal crap " . if you find out that a film you're about to see is directed by " alan smithee , " then you should seriously , seriously , seriously consider watching something , anything , else . " alan smithee " is a pseudonym which a number of directors have used when they produce something really bad . frankly , i'd be embarrassed if i had directed this turkey , so i think i understand why the director might have picked the " alan smithee " moniker for this film . where to begin with this painfully poor thriller ? let's start with the acting . it's pretty bad . amanda peterson plays valerie and shows at least some talent ( the rest of the cast don't ) , even though her performance isn't exactly stellar material . she's also miscast ; she seems way too old to still have a year of high school to complete . her scenes with valerie's mother , played by mary frann , are a joke . the two look as though they're a couple of coworkers going out to lunch together , rather than a daughter with her mother who just doesn't understand . christopher atkins , a handsome enough actor who plays the killer , adam , looks like a clown in the second half of fatal charm . trying to appear malicious and dangerous , he wears large sunglasses and a half-buttoned jacket . if disney decided to do a zany comedy caper about the unabomber , atkins would probably be a perfect candidate for the lead , but he doesn't cut it here . early on in the movie , a number of scenes occurs in a courtroom . outside of the laughably poor performances given by the actors portraying lawyers , the people sitting in the benches provide the silliest effort at drama in the film . they constantly shift and turn and arc their heads in mock interest in what has got to be one of the worst perfomances that a large group of people have given at one time ever . fatal charm's storyline , such as it is , inspires more yawns than thrills . the script belabors a red herring , early on , about a second suspect who may have committed the murders for which adam ( atkins ) is charged with . this suspect , however , turns up strangled and drowned halfway through the film : an obvious plot fault . even for the idiots who didn't consider the movie's title as valerie and a blond newsreporter commented how innocent and charming the defendant seemed , it becomes quite obvious that adam is dangerous when the other suspect washes up . so , the audience must wait ( if they haven't already stopped watching ) as the necessary details fall into place and the killer goes after the heroine in the drawn-out finale . the video box for this dud describes fatal charm as an " erotic thriller " . a thriller it isn't , and neither is it particularly erotic . i can't imagine , if someone were in the mood for something " erotic , " that he'd be happy after watching this fluff . a few erotic moments occur in the film ; they take place in a van with little lighting and are filmed out of focus ( see , they're supposed to be valerie's fantasies -- how creative ) . on a personal note , i was disturbed by the ludicrous english literature class shown in this film which valerie had to suffer through . it's no wonder why she hated high school so much . as an instructor of english myself , i have a hard time accepting the fact that in a course emphasizing great literature , a teacher would stoop to reading a student's bad poetry ( of course , it's valerie's ) about boyfriends out loud and then embarassing its author in front of class with questions about the poem's inspiration . i guess the public school system is still setting dubious standards for its students . fatal charm won't charm anyone , unless there's someone that's charmed by boring , lifeless , insipid , suspenseless thrillers . if you happen upon this turkey , just keep moving on .

one might expect a cathartic viewing experience walking into a new jean-luc godard film . after all , he was a founding member of the highly influential french new wave . he is also an esteemed film critic , lending intelligence and historical perspective to us in much of his writing . however , his latest creation , in praise of love , is possibly the most exasperating film experience of the year . the abstract concept on which the film is based had merit , to dissect love into the following four categories : meeting , physical passion , quarrels , and reconciliation . these four universal truths would be revealed through three different couples : young , adult , and elderly . it is edgar's ( bruno putzulu ) self-appointed task to capture these moments after a recent breakup , to define a central idea : " it's only when things are over that they make sense . " whether this project will end up a play , film , or opera remains undecided . the thesis is simple enough that , if played right , it could really hold sympathetic value for anyone . instead what ensues is an hour and a half of repetitive vignettes , the next scene no more engaging than the last . only once does any character utter something worthwhile , but by the time it happens you're so thoroughly bored you can easily miss it . but don't fret , it will surface again . you could easily sleep through whole sections of the film ( as some fellow critics did ) and wake up in a scene exactly like the one you nodded off in , not having missed anything worthwhile . but you hold hope for some time . the background music keeps you in a state of urgency , and even suspense , for the first few conversations . it's only after repeated failures to pay any of this off that you lose all hope . and with speeches like , " i am thinking of something , but i can only think of that something when i am thinking of something else , " how can you expect to hold anyone's interest ? to godard's credit , he certainly knows how to frame a scene . the black and white footage used for the first half of the film is starkly beautiful . watching edgar read while walking along a train track on a mountain makes you wish you had something to ponder along with him . and if this film had anything poignant to say , you would have , which makes you all the angrier at the numerous missed opportunities . the environments , be it city or country , are impeccably captured in crisp detail , but the script never complements them . unfortunately , godard also manages to pillage his photographic eye by randomly cutting to black numerous times within any given scene . sometimes these breaks are used for chapter headings , but these are even more cryptic than the spoken words . the second half is composed of nauseating hyper-color that often blurs the image . you suddenly feel like a doomed character straight out of scanners . the only scene that makes any sense is one that complains about the united states bastardizing history in the making of movies . steven spielberg is picked on in particular . while i'll grant that this does happen , and i tend to shy away from watching such garbage , it's still a pointless focus for a film that purports to articulate the specific qualities of couplehood . it just goes to show , an intelligent person isn't necessarily an admirable storyteller . the days of breathless are no more .

i suppose an argument could be made that toy story is one of those films that didn't need a sequel . beloved by kids and their parents , respected equally by mainstream america and geekish movie buffs , that first movie remains a landmark of recent history , the one that burst open the possibilities of computer animation and demonstrated through wild invention and giddy chutzpah just how complacent the disney animation machine had become in cranking out fluffy razzle-dazzle entertainment full of formula storytelling and banal songwriting . if disney was embarrassed at being beaten at its own game ( toy story was a smash hit of unexpected proportions , and one that caught the merchandising end of the business unaware as demand for action figures far outstripped supply ) , it didn't show , and as distributor and part-owner of the property , at least it had a piece of the action . toy story 2 was greenlighted as a direct-to-video project , disney's standard tactic for milking a few more bucks out of hot franchises without expending the effort of developing a proper feature film . as someone who doesn't believe sequels are necessarily a bad thing ( granted , they usually are a bad thing , but that's because they're made for the wrong reasons ) , i had to wonder what in the world they were thinking . fortunately , disney claimed to have been so knocked-out by early animation tests that they let pixar go full-speed ahead with a theatrical sequel . lucky thing , too -- like the first movie , this one is a joy to behold on the big screen , and technically , it improves on its predecessor on just about every level . ( from a business standpoint , the end credits show that the new creations are copyrighted by pixar , while the previous film's elements are shared between pixar and disney , a sign of the production house's new cachet in hollywood . ) visually , the main shortcoming of this fully computer-generated movie is that human figures are still rendered relatively poorly , making them look a little creepy . fortunately , that eerie unreality fits in perfectly with the perspective of the movie , where the secret world of toys is more immediate , and arguably more attractive , than the world of the humans who surround them . as before , the story is predicated on the premise that the toys scattered around the bedroom of a little boy named andy -- and , indeed , all the toys scattered around the bedrooms of all little children -- come to life in the child's absence . while the toys scamper about and chatter endlessly among themselves , the real joy of a toy's life is to mean something to its owner . one of the subjects of this new film is the sadness of toys that have been broken or abandoned , left on a shelf to gather dust , and another is the sort of emotional limbo inhabited by toys that are mere prizes of covetous collectors . most often , those toys are packed away in dark spaces , safe from sunlight and humidity , and often they're not even removed from their packaging . imagine what a chip that would put on your shoulder , and you'll understand the attitudes of the collector's items that show up in this movie . sheriff woody ( voiced by a note-perfect tom hanks ) , the longtime favorite among andy's toys who was challenged in the previous go-round by the arrival of flashy-new-thing action figure buzz lightyear ( tim allen ) , suffers an injury early in the film , when andy tugs too hard on his arm and pulls a seam apart , revealing the stuffing inside . this accident catalyzes some uneasieness among the toys , who know too well that a broken toy is often a forgotten toy , and a forgotten toy is one that loses its reason for existence . those anxieties are crystallized when andy's mom tears through his living room , collecting old toys for a yard sale . and there's an ironic twist to the tale , as woody winds up being stolen by an avid toy collector who needs exactly that quaint cowboy figure to complete a set that he hopes to sell to a japanese toy museum for a sizable sum . the rest of andy's toys , who owe him quite a debt , resolve to rescue him . that this film manages to turn a box marked " 25 cents " into a symbol of doom , or to make its screed against the retention of collectible toys by wrongheaded profiteers fuel for a metaphysical dilemma , is a testament to its skill at metaphor , seamlessly translating the hopes and fears of our real world into that of the toys . operating on this level of abstraction , toy story 2 tackles some mighty heavy issues without once preaching or veering into pretentiousness . ( the worst i can say is that randy newman seems to have reserved his sappiest lyric in years for sarah mclachlan , who stops the movie cold by singing it at just about the halfway mark . ) sometimes i think toy story 2 tries too hard . there's somewhat less of the seat-of-the-pants loopiness that energized the first film , allowing it to surprise and excite on a near-constant basis , and more philosophizing about toys , collectors , the nature of happiness and the meaning of life . while that leads to fewer bellylaughs , it does make way for more elaborate humor and an uncommonly ambitious reflexivity that asks the toys to consider their own status as commodities that move in and out of fashion . ( just don't ask why andy's favorite toy is based on a tv series that was canceled in 1957 . ) where else in mainstream movies do you get such an awesome moment as the one where buzz arrives at al's toy barn to find it stocked to the gills with his doppelgangers , buzz lightyear action figures ? forget the self-congratulatory science fiction of the matrix -- this is a fundamental mind-bender for buzz , and the audience shares his humility and wonderment at the sight . here , as in the roughly concurrent scene where woody watches tapes of the howdy doodyish children's tv show that originated his character , we see our protagonists come face-to-face with god . in sly ways , then , toy story 2 can be read as a film about mortality , a metaphorical consideration of aging and death . significantly , the film's very first sequence concludes with a grim shocker that had our opening-night crowd in a near-uproar . and toward the end , when buzz and woody speculate on how long they have before andy grows up and discards his old toys , one of them observes , with an alacrity both inspirational and heartbreaking , that it will be fun while it lasts . so toy story 2 joins the tradition of children's stories , largely neglected of late , that say something real about the inevitable joys and tragedies of existence . what's really striking is that both toy story films ( and , to a lesser degree , pixar's a bug's life ) are kids' movies with wit and sophistication to shame most of their ostensibly adult counterparts , not to mention whatever piece of tot-friendly eye-candy is due from the disney dream factory any given summer . it puts one in mind of the glory days of chuck jones and the old gang at warner bros . animation . i'm not sure lasseter and his pals at pixar will ever operate at quite that level of purely visual invention -- they love traditional narrative too much -- but , boy , it makes me wonder what they might come up with next . -------------------------------------------------------------- directed by john lasseter , colin brady , ash brannon , and lee unkrich written by lasseter , brannon , peter docter , andrew stanton , rita hsaio , doug chamberlain , and chris webb cinematography by sharon calahan starring ( voices ) tom hanks , tim allen , and joan cusack usa , 1999 theatrical aspect ratio : 1 . 85 : 1 --------------------------------------------------------------

my first exposure to the nightmare on elm street series of films was not this one , but in fact the third installment ( it was the first to gain a national theatrical release ) . i didn't see the first film until much later . so looking back , the original didn't hold a lot of great memories for me , since i didn't think too much of it when i initially saw it . watching it now for a second time confirmed that it's an overrated horror film that ultimately makes no sense whatsoever . you all know the story by now : child murderer freddy krueger ( robert englund ) returns from the grave by haunting the dreams of the children of those who burned him alive years before . this first installment does an adequate job with it's low budget , but there's some absurd dialogue and conceptual problems with the story . plus the movie's ending ( understandably the result of the studio wanting the end of the film to have a " hook " for a sequel ) renders the rest of the film pointless . and does anyone understand what happens to nancy's mother at the end of this film ? don't get me wrong though . . . it's not as if a new generation of horror films have spurned me away from the classics . most horror movies released today are just as inane as this film is . horror is a difficult genre to pull off credibly , and a nightmare on elm street just doesn't cut it . a nightmare on elm street is available on dvd from new line home video . it is available both as a single disc and as part of the nightmare on elm street collection box set . the film is presented in both pan and scan and it's original theatrical aspect ratio of 1 . 78 : 1 ( although on the disc that comes in the box set , only a widescreen transfer is provided ) . the film has been digitally remastered and includes two options for audio : a mono mix and a new dolby digital 5 . 1 mix . also included on the dvd is a full-length audio commentary track with writer/director wes craven , stars john saxon and heather langenkamp , and the film's director of photography . other extras include the " jump to a nightmare " feature ( i'm sure you can figure that one out ) , the usual cast and crew bios ( which are from the film's original press release kit , and notably leave out robert englund and johnny depp ! ) , and the film's original theatrical trailer . some dvd-rom features are also included , but since i don't have dvd-rom capabilities i can't really get into that . the commentary track is entertaining and informative , but nothing spectacular . the first thing of note is that it's the same commentary track that was on the special edition laserdisc from a few years ago . i'm not saying that's a negative thing , just pointing it out . everyone seems enthusiastic about being there , with the possible exception of john saxon , who just doesn't say much at all . most of the time you'll forget he's even there . everyone else talks really quietly though for some reason , as if because they're commenting on a scary movie that they need to stay as quiet as possible . the bonus disc with the boxed set called the nightmare series encyclopedia features about 45 minutes worth of interviews relating to the first film of the series . also included is the original theatrical trailer and two alternate endings to the film . . . however you can only access one easily . the other is hidden in what's called " the labyrinth " , which might possibly be the most annoying feature of a dvd ever created . basically , it's an interactive game of sorts where you wander through different nightmare locations looking at objects which give you access to extra little snippets of footage , interviews , etc . somewhere in the labyrinth is the second alternate ending to the film . finding it though is both a chore and a bore . [r]

i'm going to start this review off with a hypothetical question . let's say you've just been in a car accident , and the driver of the other vehicle is unconscious . your friends have left to go get help , and you're waiting to see if the victim wakes up . a tow-truck comes along , and the driver hops out of the truck to see what's going on . he then proceeds to kill the unconscious victim by snapping his neck . do you : a ) run away screaming for your life , staying away from the main road , b ) run away ( but not too fast ) and stay on the main road even when the madman in the truck starts following you , * stop * to catch your breath , try to negotiate with the psycho , and when that fails , start running away again , all the while * staying on the main road * ? if you answered " a " , you are far more intelligent than the screenwriter of " texas chainsaw massacre : the next generation " and will likely hate this movie . however , if you answered " b " , prepare to enjoy a film made with idiots like you in mind ! " texas chainsaw massacre : the next generation " is being called a sequel , but it's really more of a remake of the original . there's a few changes here and there , but it's essentially the same ( even the infamous " meathook " scene has been re-created . ) the story opens with four teenagers hitting the road on the night of their prom , and somehow ending up in the middle of nowhere . needless to say , they soon encounter leatherface and his nutty family . much carnage ensues . to call this movie inept would be putting it mildly . in addition to the laughably idiotic situation i mentioned in my hypothetical question , there is a moment towards the end of the film where one of the baddies is killed by an airplane that literally comes out of nowhere . it just swoops down and kills him with its wheel . no explantion is given as to who was flying it or why he/she is going around killing people with the planes wheel . the dialogue is even more atrocious . zellwegger , who is kidnapped by " the family " early on , keeps trying to have normal conversations with these people . when you're surrounded by maniacs wielding chainsaws and dead corpses , i would think that rationality would go out the window . speaking of going out the window , there is a scene in which zellwegger jumps out a window . apparently , the stunt double had a little trouble , because she visibly gets stuck in the window . the director quickly cuts to a wide shot where the stunt double * doesn't * get caught in the window . this was one of many glaring inconsistencies . there are so many , in fact , that if i were to name them all , this review would be several pages long . the only reason i am giving this movie one star instead of no stars is because of matthew mcconaughey . he plays a member of " the family " with a hydraulic leg ( home-made , i might add ) and is so completely over-the-top , you can't help but be amazed by his performance . he obviously had a lot of fun with this part , and it really shows . he makes jack nicholson's portrayal of the psychotic inn keeper in " the shining " look restrained in comparison . for a horror movie , " texas chainsaw massacre : the next generation " contains surprisingly little gore . in fact , in contains none . there's a little blood here and there , but that's as far as it goes . which leads me to believe that the budget must have been * astonishingly * low , and it shows . everything about the movie looks cheap , from the sets to the costumes . especially leatherface . once frightening and nightmare inducing , he's now as terrifying as dame edna . do yourself a favor and take a pass at this remake . check out the far superior original instead .

perhaps if the impostors didn't have so much going for it , it wouldn't have been such a tremendous disappointment . written , directed , and produced by one of its two stars , stanley tucci , whose last picture was the indie smash hit , big night , the impostors almost never catches fire . sputtering like a two-day old campfire , the story plays like an ad-lib sketch that was never polished or completed . the film's other star , oliver platt , was hilarious as the senator's aide in bulworth . the bloated supporting cast is a veritable cornucopia of acting talent , including woody allen , steve buscemi , hope davis , alfred molina , campbell scott , lili taylor and tony shalhoub . all are wasted save allen , who plays a theatrical director who stares in disbelief at the bad acting before his eyes . ( the audience will easily identify with allen's sentiments . ) with the exception of a single original joke involving mirror-imaged subtitles , the movie engenders little genuine laughter . the stale humor is so embarrassingly bad that you will find yourself laughing sporadically at the picture rather than with it . the plot for the movie involves two starving actors , maurice ( oliver platt ) and arthur ( stanley tucci ) , who accidentally end up on a cruise ship . in order to escape an angry shakespearean actor ( alfred molina ) , who is chasing them , they dress up as ship's stewards . the over-the-top script has the subtlety of a sledgehammer . when the leads hide from their pursuers , arthur covers maurice's mouth as he suffers an unending sneeze . at other times , we have the typical zany comedy routine where everyone chases everyone else , while darting in and out of staterooms . with the film's chapters introduced like placards at a vaudeville stage , it is clear the movie wants to be taken as farce . the press notes describes how everyone that came on the set remarked at what a good time all of the actors were having . too bad they weren't more concerned with the audience's potential enjoyment . the jokes , frequently framed in silence , fall like stones with such intensity that one can almost hear them hitting the ground . one wonders if anyone ever viewed the film's dailies . surely , if they had , they would have realized what leaden results they were producing . it is tricky having good actors play bad ones , but , if they couldn't pull it off , they should have just given up . " the show is over for this fella , " steve buscemi's character says towards the end . the mystery is why they didn't all give up in the beginning . there must have been a better script somewhere for such a wonderful cast . the impostors runs 1 : 42 . it is rated r for a little profanity and would be fine for kids around 12 and up .

only a year after the initial release of " scream , " the horror send-up from veteran horror director wes craven and screenwriter kevin williamson that seemed to breathe new life into the slasher genre , the inevitable sequel " scream 2 " has arrived in our theaters . while the tongue-in-cheek , parodic element is still noticeable in this film , it's really a sideshow to a broader commentary on violence and the media and a more conventional horror story . the first film , while often violent and gruesome , was mostly lacking in genuine scares because almost every scene was played for camp value and the discussion of the quirks and cliches of horror movies was nearly constant . the premise of " scream 2 " is that a series of copycat killings begin when a movie called " stab , " based on a book written by opportunistic reporter gail weathers ( courtney cox ) about the events in " scream , " is released and two audience members are killed during the opening screening . i had heard about this scene before i went to see the film and was surprised to find this sequence largely lacking in camp comedy . its conclusion , in which a bleeding , wounded woman stumbles in front of the screen and dies in front of an audience that cheers on because they think it's a publicity stunt , is more surreal and disturbing than anything else . the satire in " scream 2 " thus takes on a broad focus and gradually evolves into an exploration of media perceptions in general . although resident horror film geek randy ( jamie kennedy ) is back with fresh dialogue about sequels ( and , interestingly enough , how they are usually inferior to their predecessors ) , the characters in this movie are drawing from other entries in the pop culture encyclopedia as well . everything from " friends " and " saved by the bell " to " showgirls " and " terminator 2 " is referenced here ; horror is only one of many genres available for lampooning , and there aren't any " wes carpenter " jokes this time . more importantly , this film portrays characters willing to go to disturbing lengths for media attention as well as characters whose perceptions have clearly been warped by what they have seen on tv and film . the killings are clearly an imitation of the previous murders from " scream " ( in fact , the culprit even plans to use the influence of horror movies as a courtroom defense ) , weathers exploits the situation for her own notoriety , and one man seems willing to save the heroine's life only if it will earn him an interview on the today show . understandably , " scream 2 " does not go so far as to actually blame the movies , but rather shows that those who do imitate horror movies are already sick and twisted . couple that with the fact that several of the characters , most notably the lead character sidney prescott ( neve campbell ) , are fairly well-developed and that there are some genuine moments of spine-chilling suspense , and what we have is a pretty darned good horror movie in its own right . we don't just get the horror of scary masks and graphic gore - we also get the horror of sympathetic characters who seem helpless as their friends are slaughtered ( and , in one case , a significant character who was an audience favorite even bites the dust ) and whose lives have been reduced to constant fear of a crazed murderer lurking around the corner . while i have not seen any of his other work , it's easy to see why craven is generally touted as the most sophisticated " slasher film " director , as he clearly cares about something more than just the actual acts of slashing . unfortunately , " scream 2 " occasionally reverts to the time-honored horror tradition of throwing logic out the window . for example , several characters seem quite clearly dead and inexplicably turn up alive later - there has been a running gag in both movies about the villain being able to pull off this particular trick , but it also happens with other characters and in an even less believable fashion . there are also a few scenes in which the killer suddenly appears behind the next victim in a situation such that ( s ) he clearly would have been seen moving in that direction . as for the question of whether or not " scream 2 " is yet another sequel not as good as its predecessor . . . well , it's hard to say . i gave the first " scream " 3 1/2 stars as well because it worked pretty consistently as a light-hearted send-up . " scream 2 " bounces all over the place stylistically , but it does a better job delivering the genuine scares and asking the questions about media violence that were only hinted at in the first installment . i'm not sure which is the better movie , but i did leave the theater convinced of one thing : sequels , however much randy might argue , do not necessarily suck .

jean-claude van damme movies tend to be , if nothing else , a lot of mindless fun . his latest film , " knock off , " skips on the fun part leaving a wildly incoherent exercise that is , well , simply mindless . you can't really blame van damme . no one , i suspect , has ever expected " the muscles from brussels " to contribute a heartfelt performance brimming with introspection and delicate shades of gray . and even his sidekick co-star , " saturday night live " alumnus rob " makin' copies " schneider , does what's expected of him , although neither appear to want the role of straight man . no , the problem with the film is its direction . the first five minutes of the film are incomprehensible . . . and it goes downhill from there ! five hundred characters , it seems , are introduced within the first fifteen minutes . van damme doesn't land his first kick until after thirty--too late for most action fans--and by the time the hour mark has rolled around , your jaw will be on your cup holder and you'll be wondering why you elected to spend seven dollars on this mess . director hark tsui , whose previous film was the van damme/dennis rodman teamed " double team , " films at such a frenetic pace that it's hard to know what's going on , who's on whose side , and what the point of all this is . faster than you can yell " fruit stand ! " we're watching a crazed rickshaw race with schneider being bounced along by an energetic van damme . when schneider starts whacking van damme in the behind with a four-foot eel while enthusing " move your beautiful big ass , " the movie takes an unprecedented turn to the bizarre . every now and again " knock off " will deliver some truly ingenious directorial flourishes--inventive camera shots and angles , wild rides down gun silencers and from the tops of buildings to the sprawling street below , revealing cut-ins within the frame--but they all happen too quickly , and within such a furious frame of reference , that they're wasted . if only hark could have slowed things down just for a minute . if you're interested in the plot , you're better off reading a capsule review than trying to extract any meaning from the on-screen shenanigans : " jean-claude van damme plays a shady bluejeans manufacturer who uncovers a russian mafia plot to terrorize the world with " nanobombs " hidden in cabbage patch knock-offs . maybe . with paul sorvino . " a more accurate summary would be " jean-claude van damme bums around hong kong failing to avoid large , blatant coca-cola product placements . " the fact that the film is staged during hong kong's last days under british rule gets some lip service but doesn't figure in at all . perhaps " knock off " 's most intriguing credit is that ron and russell mael composed the frenzied music score . some of you might remember the mael brothers as the '80s synth pop duo sparks ; their contributions here are as confused as the accompanying action-- " kimono my house " indeed ! like the cheap jeans and " pumma " sneakers manufactured in hong kong , van damme's latest is a real phony .

krippendorf's tribe is a formula comedy . done poorly , formulaic comedies might seem to signify the downfall of american cinema . however , every now and then , one emerges , like krippendorf's tribe , that actually works . professor james krippendorf ( richard dreyfuss ) , the renowned anthropologist , is in trouble . his university gave him a hefty grant to discover a lost tribe in new guinea . however , he found . . . nothing . his wife has recently died , and he has spent the remainder of the grant money in raising his three kids : shelly ( natasha lyonne ) , mickey ( gregory smith ) and edmund ( carl michael lidner ) . tonight , he is expected to lecture on his newfound tribe . rather than break the news ( and face the consequences of misusing his funds ) , he invents a tribe : the shelmikedmu ( named after his kids ) . however , one lie begets another as he is not only required to deliver filmed proof of the shelmikedmu , but his research becomes a popular phenomenon . soon , professor krippendorf is caught up in an elaborate ruse in which he films mockumentary footage starring his children as the shelmikedmu tribal members . his efforts are hampered by the boasts of an over-eager colleague , veronica micelli ( jenna elfman ) , and the intense scrutiny of a rival anthropologist , ruth allen ( lily tomlin ) . krippendorf's tribe does seem to require a little suspension of disbelief . no one seems to question the way his field documentaries seem to be shot with multiple cameras , or that his newly discovered tribesmen have startlingly blue eyes . luckily , as the film builds momentum , that suspension of disbelief is easy to come by . though there's some mild humor in the krippendorf family trying to pass themselves off as a lost tribe , the real humor of the film is in how james gets trapped in his ever increasing snowball of lies . the double meanings to many of the shelmikedmu appearances are enjoyable , and the comic timing required for some of the film's latter scenes is superb . richard dreyfuss is terrific as the hapless professor who soon loses control of his own imaginary tribe . jenna elfman's position as a romantic lead seems a bit forced at times , but she plays the part with extreme affability . even the kids , who in films like this tend to be a bit on the precocious side , are endearing and humorous . yes , the film does veer occasionally into some rather lowbrow humor , but it has the best excuse of all : it's funny . it may not go down as an all-time classic , but it certainly delivers what you expect from a comedy : plenty of laughs .

ok , i admit i had a bad attitude about this film from the start . a romantic comedy about the trials and tribulations of single working parents ? with a couple of incredibly cute kids thrown in for good measure ? yuck . but it's not really too bad . it has a lot working against it , for me at least . in addition to the above , it is typical of a lot of recent movies in that it is really just a glorified made-for-tv movie , but longer and with bigger stars , and you have to pay to see it . it does win you over , though , even if it is painfully predictable . just think about it : two single parents , with their cute kids , are thrown together due to a missed field trip . through a day of near disasters , they cont inually meet , get in one another's way , cause trouble for one another , and generally insult one another at every opportunity . in fact , they hate each other so much that we know that they are , or soon will be , in love . the only people who hate each other more than lovers are married couples . so this film is predictable , just as the screwball comedies of the classical hollywood cinema were predictable ( and the screwball genre is obviously hoffman's model for this film ) . will they get fired from their yuppie jobs ? will they make the big soccer game that is so important to their kids ? will pfeiffer realize what a jerk her ex-husband , a drummer for bruce springsteen , really is ( aren't they all ? ) ? will they finally kiss ? well , what do you expect ? but there is a certain amount of satisfaction in having our expectations fulfilled , especially when it is done with as much humour , along with a lack of sticky sentimentality , as it is in this film . pfeiffer and clooney have a certain chemistry together that is surprisingly charming , and the kids are neither shoved into the background nor allowed to steal the show . one word of caution , though . this film is being billed in some places as a " family " movie . don't let that stop you . however , i think most kids , especially boys , would be pretty bored by this move . after all , nobody gets killed and there are no explosions . all in all , a good , non-offensive date movie . the flying inkpot rating system : * wait for the tv2 broadcast . * * a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha ! * * * pretty good , bring a friend . * * * * amazing , potent stuff . * * * * * perfection . see it twice .

ugh . that about sums this movie up . just , ugh . the original godzilla movies are somewhat of a cult classic , and when reviewing the previous films , each film had a certain degree of intelligence . and that was the reason they found such an enviable cult following ; in spite of bad special effects , horrible dubbing , and a man in a lizard suit , they maintained a certain degree of . . . how to put this ? . . . dignity ? not quite the word i'm looking for . you understand , right ? and in 50 years , godzilla has maintained that degree of 'whatever' . leave it to america to screw the whole thing up . >from the 'geniuses' that brought us " independece day " , arguably the worst sci-fi movie of all time , to ruin whatever reputation godzilla had . while they do bring us eye-popping special effects that will amaze you , they lost what was at the center of all the original godzilla movies -- a storyline . summing up the movie is simple . heck , i can do it in one sentence : giant lizard attacks a giant city and a bunch of nobodies stop it . simple as that . matthew broderick stumbles over his lines , and it's hard to picture hank azaria in any role besides his classic dog-walking character on the television show " mad about you " . the dialogue seems to be improvized , almost as if there was no rehearsel done at all . i can see the scene on the set right now . " all right ! we spent all of this money making big special effects , and we've gotta get this movie out by summer or it's going to bomb in our faces . so , you actors just say what ever comes to the top of your head , all right ? make up something , m'kay ? good . roll film ! ! " the special effects are enough to keep you interested through one viewing , and some of the cinemtography is well-done ( the scene with the black umbrellas comes to mind ) . still , an hour into it , you will become antsy , wondering how long they can drag it out . and drag it out they do ! ! i have to laugh . the slogan for the film is , " size does matter " . i think they cut this too short . it should read , " size does matter . acting does not . "

urban legend surprised me . based on the last few films the genre has produced ( including but not exclusive to the likes of i know what you did last summer , disturbing behavior and the disappointing halloween : h20 ) , i was positive that i was in store for another mildly entertaining but silly and ultimately boring rehash of the scream phenomena . thankfully , legend rose above it's soggy premise to become not only a hip , scary and stylish entertainment , but also what will probably become one of the best films of the year . you're all familiar with the plot ; a bunch of overly horny teenagers get systematically slaughtered by a masked maniac who's identity is not revealed until the closing moments of the film when it turns out to be , you guessed it ; everybody's favorite veteran of the whodunit flicks . . . the only person you didn't suspect ! however , just because legend doesn't really break any new ground as far as literary or even technical achievements go does not mean that it can't qualify as first-class entertainment . it was , believe it or not , one of the funnest times i've had at the movies all year . the thing is , i'm not really sure what made this particular stab ( pardon the pun ) at the genre seem so fresh and alive . maybe it was the above-par performances by the movie's two leads ( jared leto and " cybil " actress alicia witt ) . or , it could have been the on- target direction by jamie blanks . more likely , though , it was because of the inspired premise . i don't think i need to tell you that a killer hacking people up ala urban folklore is much more frightening than a killer fisherman . urban legend begins with a sequence that reminded me of the classic scream opener , not so much in plotting as in attention to detail that makes for an absolutely chilling teaser for the rest of the film . a pretty young coed is driving down a deserted road when ( gasp ! ) a gas problem ( hee-hee ) forces her to stop at an equally deserted gas station for a refill . one problem , though . would you want to stop at a station run by brad dourif ? i thought not . predictably , the attendant ends up coaxing her into the main building to sort out a problem with the credit card company . it's odd , though , when you pick up a phone to realize that nobody's on the other line . naturally , the potential victim escapes into her car and drives off . and the when we least expect it . . . whack ! ! ! a decapitation . it turns out that the creepy looking attendant was just trying to warn her about the maniac in the back seat of the car . so who is it this time ? the obvious candidate is the slightly off-kilter professor at the college the girl went to ( none other than freddy kruger himself , robert englund ) , who teaches a class on urban legends . a-ha . or could it be the fame-hungry local journalist ( leto ) looking for a meaty story to put on his resume ? like all movies of this nature , one of the chief pleasures is trying to guess whodunit . and it turns out to be , of course , the one you didn't suspect . i'm not going to pretend urban legend is anything more than it is , but i must give credit where credit is due . and this flick definitely deserves credit for being what not many other recent horror films have been . . . fun . * complimentary movie ticket courtesy of valley cinemas in lodi , ca

close your eyes for a moment , if you will , and imagine the sound of stephen rea's gaelic brogue , silky smooth and irish like a pint of guinness . a lackadaisical , naughty little schoolboy voice that flirts and gambols . an acerbic , sing-song metered voice that evokes the startling imagery and language of anthony burgess' " a clockwork orange . " a voice that deliciously conjures scenes both porcine and puerile , like those out of " delicatessen , " or " the tin drum . " imagine all of that , and you'll get a good sense of what you can expect from " the butcher boy . " imagine that and more . neil jordan's latest film " stars " rea in more ways than one . rea , the accomplished irish actor most notable from his star turn in jordan's " the crying game , " contributes a restrained and managed performance as da brady , a small town drunk in an unnamed irish community in the 1960s . but it's his wall-to-wall narration as the butcher boy of the title , da brady's son , francis , that makes rea's " performance " worth watching , worth listening to . and that's only half the fun . playing the young francie brady is newcomer eamonn owens and he is , without a doubt , a revelation . for as much as rea's voiceover permeates almost every scene of " the butcher boy , " owens commands virtually every frame . it's impossible to take your eyes off him . with his crop of carrot-colored hair , ruddy complexion , and overall grubby appearance , francie brady is an unlikely hero , refusing to be done in by his alcoholic , trumpet-playing father , his depressive , suicidal mother , or the neighboring , bespectacled monster known as mrs . nugent ( fiona shaw ) . in fact , everything was ok until " the nugent " came to town . now , she poses as much a threat to the safety and security of town bully francie and his best pal joe ( alan boyle ) as the looming commie menace ( " the butcher boy " is set at a time when the fear of nuclear obliteration is first and foremost in the minds of many ) . " pigs ! " screams mrs . nugent at the brady menagerie . " you're all pigs ! " it's the start of many a related image . after ma brady is shipped off to the " garage " for psychiatric observation and da brady downs one bottle of whiskey too many , francie finally loses grip of his fantasy world of cowboys and indians , the lone ranger , and other comicbook characters . squealing like a stuck pig , francie does " the likes o' that " on the nugent's living room floor , and is himself whisked away to a very catholic remand home for " boney arsed bogmen , " where his ever fertile imagination--and clever chicanery--runneth over . director jordan's vivid treatment of pat mccabe's nightmare novel produces a sometimes disturbing , dark comedy littered with surreal touches ( such as sin ? ad o'connor playing the virgin mary ) . it's not as outlandish as the trailers make out ; instead , this remarkable film focuses on the effects external influences have on the friendship between two boys ( schoolboy chums in real life ) , allowing us to empathize with their plight in the presence of extraordinary behavior . it's bleak and it's black but it's fundamentally very funny . rea talks us through it , beautifully , and owens drags us though it , admirably , and , in tandem with jordan's sure hand , theirs are contributions to make " the butcher boy " a film worth savoring .

" take a number , fill out a form , and wait your turn . " starring kati outinen , kari v ? ? n ? nen , sakari kuosmanen , elina salo ; written & directed by aki kaurism ? ki ; cinematography by timo salminen it might be possible to call drifting clouds a satire or a black comedy , but that would imply a sense of anger , of vitriol , of energy ; drifting clouds is what you get when the rage and vitality are gone . it is the sad , slow story of lauri and ilona , a married couple caught between the wheels of capitalism as it grinds inexorably onward . he loses his job as a tram driver , because everyone drives cars nowadays . within a couple of months , she loses her position as a head waiter , when her restaurant is bought out by a chain and the entire staff replaced . a conversation early in the film reveals a lot about their situation . lauri has surprised ilona by buying her a tv , which she greets with little enthusiasm . she notes that they haven't finished paying for the bookshelves or the couch yet . he says that in four years the payments will be done and then they can buy some books for the shelves . it would pass as deadpan humour if it wasn't spoken with such resigned weariness . this sets the tone for the rest of the movie . there is humour and idiosyncracy at the periphery , but at the centre there is frustration and futility , and sorrow for the ways in which the logic of profit reduces people , until their worth is equated solely with their earning capacity . there is an element of political commentary in this critique of the mechanisms of capitalism and the stultifying social environment it creates , but in drifting clouds the political is subsumed by the personal : the movie is about two people and what happens to them , and nothing else matters . lauri and ilona live lives starved for friendship , respect , culture , passion . they go to the movies , and walk out past old posters for l'atalante and l'argent , but the movie they have just seen is a pointless , violent , unfunny comedy . their house and workplaces are uniformly unpleasant , painted and upholstered in lifeless colours ( ugly greens , dull reds , insipid blues ) , full of inelegantly functional objects and appliances . the art design is impeccable in its tawdriness , and director aki kaurism ? ki often matches the colour of characters' clothes with the background colour and/or lighting , so that it seems as if they are almost physically fading into the environment . there is no suggestion of sexuality in the relationship ; ilona and lauri sleep in separate beds and their gestures of affection lack the heat of desire ; their lives are now bound by something more complex and desperate than love . their downward , downsized , downtrodden lives have a momentum that is almost comic , as one setback succeeds another , bottoming out when lauri stakes all their remaining money on the spin of a roulette wheel . it must have been tempting to play the story for more laughs , more farce , more deadpan wit , but the film's great strength is the sober , empathic manner in which it observes lauri and ilona's misfortunes . irony would be an injustice . situations and settings are broad and exaggerated--this is not realism--but they are not distorted . the emotions are authentic . if it is difficult to laugh at anything that happens , despite the droll performances , the laconic humour , that's because kaurism ? ki brings such compassion and understanding to the manifold indignities that are suffered . he shows us how humiliating it must be for a woman of thirty-eight , who has worked long and hard to win a respectable position , to be forced to accept a job as a dishwasher in a two-bit restaurant ; how humiliating it must be for a man nearing 50 to confront his wife's former employer , demanding the rest of her wages , only to have the crap beaten out of him , unable to land a single punch , when the employer and his cronies refuse to give him the money . all this is observed keenly , with great economy : every cut , every line of dialogue , is judicious . if most films are novelistic in their telling , this one brings the focus and concentration of a short story to bear . but what is gained in nuance and acumen is rather undermined by the sense that the material barely accommodates the 96-minute running length . i have seen many movies far less profound , less humane , less necessary than drifting clouds , but they filled me with an urge to watch them again , and this one did not . it does not need to be seen twice : its every detail and implication can be absorbed in one viewing . it is not a movie that will be seen by a large audience , because it cannot be pitched to one . there is no selling point . it is all understatement , restraint , melancholy . the characters are unremarkable , their best years behind them , their dreams dissipated ; it takes all the effort they can muster just to pay the bills . this does not make them less fascinating , merely less marketable , which is a shame , because this is a movie which should be seen , precisely because it pays attention to people and emotions that most movies prefer to ignore . it engages us and touches us and resolves--surprisingly , and movingly--into something resembling a happy ending . the only thing greater than the ill-luck that governs the characters' lives is their refusal to give in to despair . their persistence is rewarded with what might be called a " feel-good " ending elsewhere , but not here , because this ending differs in kind from most such endings : this one has truly been earned .

you'd think that after awhile hollywood would stop trying to make movies out of video games . it hasn't worked so far . " street fighter ? " " super mario brothers ? " " wing commander ? " " mortal kombat ? " not a watchable film in the bunch . still i held out some hope for " tomb raider . " after all , the game's premise is heavily influenced by the indiana jones trilogy and all the mummy movies , so there are cinematic elements imbedded in the concept . however , despite the potential of the project , " tomb raider " proves to be yet another bomb . the plot is a convoluted accumulation of nonsense probably borrowed from a dozen bad movies . there's a once-ever-5000-years alignment of planets coming up , and the illuminati have to find both halves of an ancient triangle that controls time in order to take over the world . of course , the ancient folks who divided the triangle buried the halves in tombs on opposite sides of the world . our heroine , lady lara croft ( angelina jolie ) , finds the key that opens the tombs in relics that her dead father ( jon voight ) dug up . she figures that if she gets the triangle , she can bring her dad back from the dead . of course , no one was expecting much of a plot from this movie anyway . in both video games and action movies , the plot is just an excuse for the action sequences . however , the action in " tomb raider " shows little style or originality . there's lots of shooting and some kung fu fightin' , but none of it progresses beyond the level of a cheap direct-to-cable flick . the other goofy archeologist flick of the summer , " the mummy returns , " was much better ; it had its flaws , but its action was creative and large-scale . since winning her academy award for " girl , interrupted , " jolie hasn't taken any projects that would display her acting talents . " tomb raider " seems to be more interested in displaying her breasts ; so much attention is drawn to them that it's a shame there's no oscar for best performance by a wonderbra . while we don't see much of her acting ability ( with the exception of a wonderful upper-crust british accent ) , we do get a hint of jolie's less savory side . considering the rumors of incest that hang over jolie and her supposed obsession with death , having lara be obsessed with resurrecting her dead father ( and uninterested in any of the living males around her ) seems a poor choice . having jolie's real life father jon voight play the dead dad makes it even creepier . i haven't decided what to make of director simon west yet . his first feature was the star-studded disaster " con air , " but my opinion of him improved with " the general's daughter , " which was thick with sultry atmosphere . now this train wreck . i hope he improves again because his next project is the big screen version of the cult tv series " the prisoner . " hollywood has already screwed up " the avengers , " and " the prisoner " represents a chance for redemption . ( by the way , speaking of british tv , " red dwarf " fans should look for chris " rimmer " barrie in his first major film role ) .

there's no reason to doubt that donnie brasco is based , as its opening credits proclaim , on a true story . but if it's an accurate picture of life on america's mean streets , than cinematic depictions of organised crime have had a much stronger basis in reality than i would have previously thought . for from the film's outset , when a group of hoods jocularly trade differing opinions on the merits of various automobiles ( not unlike a number of movie lowlifes who recently gave a madonna song a close reading ) donnie brasco resembles more than passingly a few gangster flicks once believed to be works of fiction . our eponymous hero ( johnny depp ) is not the cheap crook he first appears to be . brasco is joseph pistone , an undercover fbi agent who has the task of chumming-up to lefty ( al pacino ) , a seasoned hood who tutors pistone in the art of being a " wiseguy " . regrettably , pistone learns his lessons all too well . his concern for lefty , who is burdened with a heroin addicted son , exacerbates his own family troubles : his children resent his lengthy absences and his wife fears that her husband's gangster persona is becoming a little too convincing . true , the focus on pistone's family life does deviate from the typical gangster-flick formula , but this subplot never rises above its television drama origins . the unhappy couple trade predictable lines and engage in drawn-out domestic squabbles ? including an ill-advised marriage guidance routine ? that slow the film down unnecessarily . the biggest problem with donnie brasco , however , is that its wiseguy attitude and style lacks the flair of its many predecessors . the awkward use of an occasional disco tune momentarily reminds us its the 70's , but not with the consistent and blindingly tacky style ? i loved those fluoro coloured suits ? of scorces' costume drama casino . more importantly , pacino's presence triggers memories of his earlier movie triumphs in which similar territory was covered far more effectively . donnie brasco's take on american values , for instance , is feeble and obvious . lefty rambles out dreams of material betterment to the accompaniment of grating inspirational music . inexplicably , lefty's horatio alger inspired gush is supposed to move us . it doesn't any more than his family troubles do , which are dealt in the same saccharine and obvious manner as pistone's . just think a minute on how these themes were explored in the godfather movies and scarface . in these pictures pacino's dedication to a peculiar and bloody hyper-capitalism was twisted and confronting , while his dogged application of macho wiseguy procedure meant that his relations to friends and family was intriguingly dark ? neither were spared bloody retribution for breaching wiseguy regulations . donnie brasco's tawdry little crime , therefore isn't so much its repetition of familiar gangster themes , but the shameless way in which it sanitises them . ( oh and by the way , i forgot to mention that the script also sports a startling subplot : pipstone's superiors are obstructive incompetents who are infuriated by his constant insubordination ? is that a " damn you mcbain ! " i hear from springfield way ? ) so the movie is cliched . big deal , what do you expect from a gangster-flick ? well you expect quality action sequences and bravado performances in abundance if its going to be a decent example of the genre . donnie brasco fails on both counts . the action scenes never rise above the ordinary and depp's woeful performance tends to smother the good-work of his comrades . admittedly , pacino does nothing new and michael madsen ( sonny ) simply smirks his way through the picture like a slightly subdued mr . white , but both possess an unmistakable sly charm . depp usually exhibits a bit of class himself , but regrettably , being in the presence of one of his betters must have left him star-struck , for he is completely hell-bent on mimicking pacino's well-earned high style . the consequences are painful to watch . its no exaggeration to say that the film's credibility is seriously strained by the sight of the pistone family's uncanny ability to keep a straight face in front of their breadwinner's phony brooklyn accent . perhaps we should take pity on the makers of donnie brasco . maybe a scrupulous adherence to pinpoint accuracy demanded tiered dialogue and scenarios weakly reminiscent of classic gangster flicks . if this is indeed the case , surely the makers of donnie brasco could have explored the fascinating possibility that america's underworld is committed to emulating , albeit in heavily attenuated form , their movie namesakes . depp could have poignantly played a simple cop who becomes a hideous parody once he is forced to mimic big-screen gangster greats . who knows what insights into the criminal psyche could have arisen ? but then again , perhaps donnie brasco isn't so true after all .

in china in 1982 i turned the tables on our national guide and asked him if he had any questions about america . i guess i was expecting some sort of political question . instead , i was dumfounded by what was most on his mind . " in america , do wives and their mothers-in-law get along well ? " he assured me in china that they did , but i am certain if that were true he would not have asked . even in china people seem to have problems relating to in- laws . perhaps some of life's most difficult relationships arise when families are suddenly artificially joined by marriage . a man trying to relate to his new prospective in-laws and vice-versa could be the basis of a very strong comedy . meet the parents does not demonstrate that fact , however . greg focker ( played by ben stiller ) has been dating and in love with pam byrnes ( teri polo ) for ten months and is now ready to propose to her . he will do it during a weekend visit to meet debbie's family and to attend her sister's wedding . from the beginning the relationship is awkward between greg and jack and dina byrnes ( robert deniro and blythe danner ) . through no fault of his own , the airline has lost greg's luggage . and he has to ask to borrow clothing . it is the beginning of a game of one-upmanship in which greg is nearly always one-down . as the games go on greg is more and more uncomfortable and uneasy which only contributes to the mistakes he makes . greg is playing a game he does not understand , in a league he is new to . but perhaps along the way he will discover some unexpected secrets about his father-in-law . this film had potential in its tale of one-upmanship . it has hit on a situation that many in the audience may find familiar--one that has not been done overly frequently in films . but the script by jim herzfeld and john hamburg is a little too contrived . too many coincidences in the story work against greg . the script could not decide if the main character was incompetent or simply unlucky . certainly he does not help his situation by doing everything wrong he possibly could , but even when he is trying to do the right things nature conspires against him . there is an uneven mix of slapstick sequences and human comedy . certainly the last part of the film feels awkwardly written . the main reason to see meet the parents is to see robert deniro's performance . deniro plays the suspicious and not a little fascistic father as tightly wound and threatening as he can . the little judgmental expressions on his face are a show in themselves as greg digs himself deeper and deeper into his insecurities . but we do not really see much of that digging . ben stiller is an affable presence in the film but is not really stretching himself by playing the role as the nebbish to whom so many bad things happen . it is nice to see blythe danner again on the screen . but her character has a basic conflict between a basic decency and her love for her husband and the script should have given her more to do with that . randy newman has written a playful score . in the first few seconds of the film it does something creative i have never heard a film score do before . there is a lot of source music that is popular music of the 1960s . presumably that is what the upper class listens to at least in somebody's imagination . humor is subjective and some this film has been getting some favorable comment . but this is a comedy that works only occasionally for me . i would have to rate it 4 on the 0 to 10 scale and a 0 on the -4 to +4 scale .

in " gia " , angelina jolie plays the titular character , the first so-called supermodel . and right there you have the biggest hurdle this movie had to overcome ( in my eyes , anyway ) . i just don't see how the life of a model is worthy of a two hour film . despite this , i kept an open mind when i began watching the movie . sadly , though , my fears were realized . it's just not possible to make an interesting , full-length film about a person who spends their days wearing different clothes . the movie follows the rise and fall of gia ( no last name ) , a tumultuous woman who doesn't particularly enjoy the world of fashion . she becomes famous more quickly than she can handle , and finds herself hooked on drugs and on a woman she cannot have . the last hour of the film is just one scene after another of gia getting high , losing a job , and going into rehab . this formula is repeated several times , and i really got tired of it . in general , i tend to dislike movies featuring heavy drug use . no because it offends me or anything like that ; it just bores me . quite frankly , i don't see the appeal , so when a director shows me a point-of-view shot of a junkie , complete with tipsy camera angles and echoing voices , i am left somewhat unimpressed . the first hour of the film , though , was actually quite engaging . we see gia as she is discovered and moves to new york with her boyfriend . these early scenes were interesting . we're shown the fashion world through a newcomers eyes , and it was a perspective i hadn't seen before . the movie begins to go downhill , however , once gia becomes an established model . >from that point , i lost all interest in the movie and was counting the minutes before it would end . it all seemed so excessive . fine , so gia had a drug problem , does this really need to dominate the film ? couldn't the same effect have been had with a five or ten minute montage of scenes featuring gia experimenting with drugs ? or perhaps this film is meant to be a warning to aspiring models not to get into the drug world . quite possibly , although since i have no desire to become a model , this warning is lost on me . as i stated at the beginning of this review , i simply don't see how the life of a model is worthy of a feature-length motion picture . what do they do that warrants a movie ? strut their stuff for thousands of dollars an hour ? i suppose the same could be said about making movies about baseball players , for example , but at least somebody like lou gehrig led an interesting life . gia did not . and by the end of the film , all i knew about gia for sure was that she hated modelling , was bi-sexual , and was heavily into drugs . not exactly a meaningful contribution to society , as far as i'm concerned .

mary norton's children's book series , the borrowers , has been made into several below-average television movies . so , i wasn't too enthused as i entered the theater for the big-screen debut of the minute clan . but i was in for a shock , the borrowers is actually a thoroughly delightful movie with plenty of good laughs and even some decent special effects . the lender family is being thrown out of their longtime home . their aunt , who owned the property , never left a will . now , an unscrupulous lawyer , ocious potter ( john goodman ) plans to demolish the house and replace it with an ultra-modern housing development . but the lenders are not alone in their house . living under the floorboards is a family of borrowers , 4 inch tall people who make their living as scavengers from the human " beans " above . the clock family of borrowers is as distressed as the lenders , especially once they discover the evil potter actually has a copy of the will which leaves the home to the lenders . so it is up to the clocks ( pod ( jim broadbent ) and homily ( celia imrie ) , along with their kids , arrietty ( flora newbigin ) and peagreen ( tom felton ) ) to recover the will and save the household . but when potter learns of the tiny people , he enlists the skills of exterminator jeff ( mark williams ) to kill off the clan . there's plenty of attention to detail in the borrowers , especially in the furnishings of the clock family house , made out of lost board game parts and credit cards . the background details are nearly as rich as the entertaining story . the various predicaments of the clock family are clever and thrilling . based on an original story , the screenwriters did a good job at imagining all the potential and unusual perils that could exist for a 4-inch tall person . as the villain , john goodman's performance veers on the edge of being over-the-top . but his performance suits the role well , and he does very well in the film's many slapstick moments . with a nearly seamless mix of oversized sets , bluescreen shots and cgi , the special effects in the borrowers are very well done . there are a few times when you can spot the effects at work , but none of them are so jarring that you lose the suspension of disbelief . hopefully the borrowers will surpass the curse of being labeled a children-only movie , for it is surprisingly entertaining and fun to watch .

eight years after its release , disney has decided to re-release the little mermaid theatrically for 17 days ( and 17 long nights ) only . coincidentally , it was reintroduced to theaters the same day fox's animated film anastasia was released . you know disney , they can't deal with the threat of any other studio getting even a small piece of the crust of the kiddie entertainment pie , so when someone else wants to make a little money , they counter with an old " masterpiece " from their vault and , you know what , i went to see this 1989 cartoon rather than the brand new one from fox . let no one say disney is losing its monopoly on the market . they still have hotels on boardwalk _and_ park place . believe it or not , today , november 25 , 1997 , at 5 : 05 p . m . , i saw the little mermaid for the first time . it took me a few years to get over an aversion to this movie that was caused seven years ago , when i stayed with one of my mom's friends for a couple weeks . they had a young child who listened to the little mermaid soundtrack constantly and , over that two week period , i heard every song from the movie probably a hundred times . by the time i got back home , i promised myself i'd never see the movie . but promises are made to be broken , especially when you're looking at a 17-day , limited engagement . damn those shrewd disney marketers and their mind games . the little mermaid is based on a hans christian anderson fairy tale , but it's disney-ized , which means lots of talking animals and bursting into song . it also means the heroine is a total babe who shows off cleavage from a seashell bra at all times . i never wanted so much to be a pair of shells . . . the heroine , of course , is ariel ( voice of jodi benson ) , a 16-year-old mermaid who is going through that rebellious phase . she skips her concert to explore a wrecked ship and hang out with a seagull that talks like buddy hackett , who tries to orient her to the mysterious world of humans . she's also dealing with feelings she hasn't had before -- which comes when you get scales in places you didn't use to have them -- about a handsome prince ( no disney movie would be complete without one ) . her father , king triton of the merpeople , strictly forbids such lusting after the ways of the " savage " humans , in a condemnation that reads as a not-so-subtle analogy about old- fashioned parents who forbid interracial dating . what's a king to do , though ? the girl's in love and even total destruction of her little shrine to the human world doesn't deter her . ariel saves the prince's life when a hurricane rises up , and just has to meet him . she makes a deal with ursula , the sea witch ( voice of pat carroll ) . you know she's evil because she has a huge potbelly and one of the worst asses in cartoon history . she also has octopus tentacles for feet ( something those dr . scholl's corn pads will not fix ) and offers to help ariel out . she'll make her a human for three days if ariel will give up her pretty voice ; ariel has three days to make that prince kiss her , or else she becomes a slave to the witch forever . and if she pricks her finger on a sewing machine or eats an evil apple , she'll fall asleep forever . it's a simplistic plot , yes , but the little mermaid was a revolution in the disney world , coming after such lackluster efforts as the black cauldron and oliver and company . it ranks as one of the best disney cartoons , certainly since the '50s . all the elements are there -- memorable songs like " under the sea " and " kiss the girl , " cartoon animals like sebastian and flounder , an evil villain who still has characterization and charm , and a fair amount of humor that caters to adults as well as children . the little mermaid is worth a big-screen ticket in 1997 , so hurry up , you only have five days left . serving america for more than 1/25th of a century !

steve martin took an extended vacation from all facets of moviemaking a few years back ; he spent this time writing essays and short stories for " the new yorker , " several of which wound up in his hilarious hardback compilation , pure drivel ( 1998 ) . much of the book spares tinseltown from mockery , although he does riff on the racist comments made by marlon brando during a larry king interview , in a fine chapter called " in search of the wily filipino . " now , as writer and star of bowfinger , he offers the masses plenty of good reasons not to pursue a career in the cinema , perhaps finally venting the frustrations ( 'everything being made now is crap' ) that led to his brief retirement from hollywood . martin stars as bobby bowfinger , a roger corman-wannabe on the cusp of fifty and desperate for some success as a producer , quality of the projects be damned . his accountant ( adam alexi-malle ) proposes a movie called " chubby rain , " about aliens who travel to earth in raindrops slightly fatter than regular raindrops . bowfinger latches onto the idea immediately , and convinces his troupe of actor friends to appear in the film , based on the lie that america's top box office draw , kit ramsey ( murphy ) , has agreed to star . ramsey , of course , wants nothing to do with such low-grade material , so bowfinger , on the thinking that action stars need to run , not speak , decides to photograph the superstar surreptitiously . he sends his cast members ( who aren't in on it , either ; they are told ramsey hates the sight of cameras and fraternizing with his co-stars ) to ramsey's table at restaurants , asks them to follow him in parking lots , etc . , spouting script dialogue , all the while shooting the outcome from a great distance . the paranoid ramsey flees the scene nearly every time . ramsey is a member of mind head , a cultish self-help organization apparently dedicated to recruiting celebrities . ( as if that's not familiar enough , mind head guru terry stricter ( terence stamp ) has been dressed and combed to resemble l . ron hubbard , founder of scientology . ) when he goes to mind head with tales of caucasian strangers appearing from nowhere to babble " white code " in his face , they fear the nervous breakdown of an important client and rush him off to a retreat , requiring bowfinger to find a stand-in . murphy will probably win more fans as jiff , ramsey's adorable , ignoramus double , than as kit , but it is his portrayal of the latter that took courage . always surrounded by an entourage , suffering from a racial inferiority complex , murphy plays right into the tabloid image of himself . furthermore , consider the enemies he'll make of popular scientologists . pacing stricter's neutral-coloured office as if on an amphetamine binge and stripped of his bigshot veneer , ramsey is asked to shout inane personal affirmations repeatedly . murphy's scenes with stamp are exactly what i imagine of a john travolta " clearing . " not that murphy is entirely responsible for this schtick ; bowfinger is steve martin's invention . his script is surprisingly clever as satire , given that the pseudo-religion is a sitting duck , as is the entire los angeles film industry . ( the griffin mill-types take quite a beating , in the form of robert downey jr . as bigwig jerry renfro . ) martin's decision to tell the story from a bottom feeder's point of view is what keeps it fresh and innovative-never have we seen on screen a group of people struggle this hard to complete a motion picture . as expected , there are laughs only to be had insiders or buffs , such as martin's crew of mexican border-jumpers , who gain unexpected appreciation for the classics from reading " cahiers du cinema , " or martin's nonsensical explanation to dave , his loyal cinematographer ( jamie kennedy ) , that every movie , in the end , has a budget of two-thousand dollars ( ! ) . most of bowfinger is universally funny , however ; i defy any viewer to keep a straight face when christine baranski , one of our brightest comediennes , is on screen . bowfinger's main flaw is a plot twist that has an insubstantial aftermath . we're also asked to believe that a few simple close-ups of kit ramsey would redeem " chubby rain , " z-grade entertainment that would make ed wood blush . ( this aspect of bowfinger has much in common with the ludicrous oscar sequence in oz's last directorial effort , the poorly conceived in & out . ) these are significant enough weaknesses that they distracted from my enjoyment of the piece . as i mentioned at the start of this review , bowfinger offers solid reasons not to do what heather graham's character daisy does : hop a bus to hollywood in search of stardom . that said , it offers one fantastic reason to get on that bus : the sense of community between filmmakers who gel is awesome . martin gets sentimental by story's end as he did in l . a . story , and how could he not ? for those who can hack it , the movies might be the greatest business in the world .

the people who populate the movie 54 are shallow , self-absorbed and self-indulgent . in other words , they perfectly mirror the era as well as the movie this feature depicts . 54 is the story of that well-publicized new york disco , studio 54 , the in-place in the '70s where anybody who was anybody went to be ogled , photographed and pampered . the difficulty with 54 , which was written and directed by mark christopher , is that his script takes no point of view . christopher neither condemns nor glorifies the legendary excesses that were studio 54's hallmark . he keeps an uninvolved distance , thus keeping us from forming any emotional attachment with any of the protagonists . the movie's one main asset is the surprising performance by mike myers as steve rubell , the famous owner of the nightspot . he is part rebel , part dreamer , part shrewd entrepreneur . he's smart enough and childlike enough to pander to the dreams and desires of his clientele , yet stupid enough to brag on tv about hiding profits from the irs . myers , in his first straight character part , is in turn appealing and appalling . at one moment he can try to pressure a male employee into a sexual situation , then at the next moment apologize for his bad behavior and offer the young man a handful of cash . the story is told by shane o'shea ( ryan phillippe ) , a new jersey lad who dreams of crossing the river to the big apple . shades of john travolta's brooklyn-bound tony in saturday night fever . eventually , shane does come to new york , attracts rubell's eye and is admitted to the promised land . his looks get him a job as a busboy , and he is later promoted to the prestigious position of bartender , where he mixes with and makes drinks for the rich and famous . shane's dream is to meet soap star julie black ( neve campbell ) , a fellow garden stater . but both characters are so sketchily drawn that even when they do hook up , it's no big deal . the chemistry between shane and julie is nonexistent . 54 is a very cold , uninvolving movie . it's all strobe lights and glitz , all substance . it's sort of like the musical era it covers .

it's a rare treat when a quality horror film is released in the theater . and unfortunately with man's best friend , we'll be waiting a while longer . the film stars ally sheedy and lance henrikson in a tale of bio-genetics gone wrong . sheedy plays a nosy reporter whose need for a " good " story provokes her to snoop inside of emax , a poorly guarded million dollar bio-lab that she finds herself effortlessly intruding . the result : she unleashes the experimental wonder dog named max , a german shepherd with genetic recombination allowing it to swallow like a snake , camouflage like a chameleon , climb trees like a leopard , and attack with the strength of tiger . max takes a liking to sheedy , and she finds herself protecting the animal from the cruel technological realm of emax , owned by henrikson . well , it doesn't take long before the hormonally unstable biohazard unleashes his jowls upon the unsuspecting suburban landscape which offers max juicy leg of mailman , etc . . . sheedy is a boring non-presence on the screen , tripping through the enormous plot chasms neglected by the writer/director ( i apologize for a lack of credits . i suppose i was eager to leave the theater , and in my rush , forgot to take note of the director , writer , producer , etc . . . ) . henrikson offered the only relief from the contrived narration of the script , giving his character as much development as he could considering the flat dialogue plaguing the film . the movie depends upon it's ability to impress the audience with animal special effects , but all it presents is a dog that can growl , open door handles with his paw , sit , roll over , play dead , and sick . the rest of the special effects were so poor , i found them offensive . the film attains sub-mediocrity , an unambitious film at best . horror fans might find that cujo offers a better bite .

for better or worse , the appearance of basic instinct in the movie marketplace gave the greenlight to a whole slew of overheated , oversexed , underwritten thrillers . apparently not having joe eszterhas as the writer doesn't change a thing , since body of evidence wasn't written by him , but has a puzzling eszterhas-ish presence all over it . in other words , it's a ) really dirty and b ) really , really stupid . madonna ( first warning sign ) stars in body of evidence as a woman who has piles of money and no apparent job ; she lives on a houseboat and likes to parade around semi-naked , presumably for the edification of the shrimp . she's been accused of having murdered an older man who was her lover . already two classic examples of hollywood sexism are in effect -- the first being that any woman in a movie cannot be sexual unless she's under thirty ( or at least looks it ) , and that they usually only exist for the sake of studs or filthy rich older men . what's worse is that the movie confirms all the above , and wallows in them as well . madonna's character is accused of forcing sex on the old goat when she knew darned well he had a heart condition . ( and yes , there are the obligatory cracks from the cops about how at least he died happy . this movie leave no scummy stone unturned . ) anyway . willem dafoe ( very good but completely wasted ) also stars as the lawyer who is doomed to run afoul of madonna's sexuality . how do we know this ? because his character is set up with the token wife and kids . how obvious is it that he's gonna cheat on her and have to fess everything up ? and get kicked out of the house ? and get welcomed back anyway ? don't skip to the end yet ; we're just getting warmed up . dafoe and madonna have a lot of sex in this movie . most of it is about as erotic as open-heart surgery , since it involves such goodies as hot candlewax ( always the kink of choice among screenwriters who don't know the first thing about * really * kinky sex ) and smashed light bulbs . don't ask . another thing that people are starting to realize about explicit sex in movies is that unless it is critically important to the story , it's insanely dull . what's worse is that body of evidence is dull * everywhere * , not just in the sex scenes . the stuff in the courtroom is recycled ninth-hand from other bad courtroom drama scenes . the thriller business itself is ridiculous -- it involves nasal spray bottles and drugs , and juergen prochnow as a surly doctor . and the ending -- another homage to eszterhas , maybe ? -- is one of those endings where you can almost see the exact * frame * where one of the five or six various endings to this mess was spliced in . the director is uli edel , all the more disappointing since he also directed the elegiac and powerful last exit to brooklyn and christiane f . everyone has to eat , i guess , but this isn't a meal ticket , it's leftovers .

an 80-year old woman jumps enthusiastically on her couch , wearing tight-fitting leather , as she cheers on her favorite tv wrestler by calling his opponent a `pump-bitch' . two men messily eat fast food as their septic truck leaks raw sewage directly behind them . and roughly 17 people are booted in the crotch . welcome to `ready to rumble' . judging from the fact that potty-mouth adam sandler is the reigning box-office comedy champion , you realize -- albeit while shaking your head -- that yes , there is an audience for this sort of thing . ladies and gentlemen , i weep for society . mind you , when executed with style and comic ingenuity , jokes like an alarming bodily fluid mistaken for hair gel ( `there's something about mary' ) and a laxative-induced attack of explosive diarrhea ( `dumb and dumber' ) can be extremely funny . unfortunately , `ready to rumble' is not being helmed by the farrelly brothers , nor is it bolstered by a script that accommodates the viewer with anything even remotely clever or inspired . `ready to rumble' is built around the dedicated fan-base of professional wrestling . . . . which , in fact , sounded like a fine concept for a goofball comedy . but director brian robbins and screenwriter steven brill handcuff themselves , and limited to a stampede of asinine , humdrum bathroom humor , basically the only thing they manage is to evoke memories of pauly shore and `bio dome' . gordie boggs ( david arquette ) and sean dawkins ( scott caan ) take pride in being hardcore wcw wrestling fanatics . by day , they transport raw sewage . by night ( particularly on ? nitro' monday ) , they pay homage to their personal hero and savior - jimmy king ( oliver platt ) , the undisputed leader of the professional wrestling community . with two tickets to an upcoming nitro performance , gordie and sean are psyched about witnessing the king defend his title first-hand . but unscrupulous boxing kingpin titus sinclair ( joe pantoliano , sporting long hair and cowboy boots ) has other plans . sinclair is plotting to have diamond dallas page ( playing himself ) pummel the king into the tarp , thereby dethroning the dignified wrestler and embarrassing him in front of a bewildered auditorium full of fans . gordie and sean are shocked , rioting madly while arguing `this isn't even a pay-per view event ! ! ' they take it upon themselves to track the king down and supply the encouragement essential for their fallen idol to make a come-back attempt . along the way , you can expect a lot of sh-- jokes as well . you may find something to like in `ready to rumble' if a ) you are a rasslin' aficionado yourself , or b ) you are a dedicated fan of the lowest of low-brow comedies . i welcome low-brow humor with open arms - that is , if its fresh and resourceful . `rumble' is nothing but a sloppy , frightfully unfunny swamp land of misbegotten retardation . the first half-hour is the ultimate test of patience . luckily , the simple-minded events pick up steam , particularly with the well-choreographed wrestling action . director robbins showed a knack for capturing the brutality and excitement of football in `varsity blues' , and when in the ring , he does professional work . but the violence is too excessive . having the fake soap opera of wcw wrestling turn into a bloody skirmish brings back unfortunate memories of owen hart's tragic accident just last year , especially with one character's dive during a cage match . this is not something you want a comedy to be reminiscent of . outside the wrestling action , the lewd jokes and puerile sight gags bring new meaning to the term ? scattershot' , while the dialogue fluctuates in on the vulgarity scale of 1 to 10 , with brill's extensive vocabulary ranging from `diddly' to `boob' and so on . the final tally : i chuckled a few times , groaned a lot , and indulged in one spirited belly laugh involving martin landau as a geriatric wrestling coach who fights pretty impressively for 105 . casting-wise , `ready to rumble' is an odd duck . oliver platt as a champion wrestling figure ? he's perhaps a bit chunky , but fellow wrestlers acknowledge this in the ring by calling him `fatty' , which dampens the blow i suppose . rose mcgowan is fully disposable as a sultry wcw cheerleader ( `the nirto-est of the nitro girls , ' proclaims gordie ) , but extra pep is added with appearances by wrestlers goldberg , `macho man' randy savage and sting ( among others ) . wcw fans are sure to appreciate these . others . . . well , won't . i found merit in david arquette's bountiful energy as gordie , which brings me to my finishing . . . . ahhh . . . . `praise' for the film : in `ready to rumble' , i have discovered something even more annoying than arquette's `at&t' television commercials . now there's a low blow for you .

the kids in the hall are an acquired taste . it took at least a season of watching their show on hbo before i became a believer . maybe after watching a half dozen kids in the hall movies , they would grow into the big screen . my recommendation is that , unless you are a big fan of the kids , skip the film . as it is , their first--and most likely only--attempt at a full length film lacks the qualities that made their comedy work on tv . a big-budget and glossy production can not make up for a lack of spontaneity that permeates their tv show . the kids go through the motions , but you get the feeling that they arent really having fun doing so . and this makes it more difficult for the audience to enjoy their antics . brain candy is a bunch of skits tied together by the story of a pharmaceutical company that develops a new drug to cure depression . in typical sketch-comedy tradition , each actor plays several roles . doctor cooper ( kevin mcdonald ) and his team create the drug . then , under pressure from don roritor ( mark mckinney ) , founder and president of roritor pharmaceuticals , dr . cooper releases the drug into the marketplace . the ensuing distribution of the new happy pill throughout the populace drives the rest of the film . at about 90 minutes , brain candy still seems long . the best thing about sketch comedy--and the kids are no exception--is the ability to quickly deliver the laughs , then go on to another quick skit . but with the additional set-up necessary in telling a longer , coherent story , the laughs just dont come fast enough . strangely , the show is even more tame than it was when on cable tv . the movie makes several attempts at risqueness--mostly by pointing up the gayness of one of scott thompsons characters--but they seem almost forced ; as if they have to live up to a pg rating . one of the best bits , though , does make use of thompsons naked buttocks ; we see him charging into battle--going to have sex with some guys taking a shower . in the classic of this genre , monty python pulled off this delicate balancing act between plot advancement and punchline delivery for most of the holy grail . the kids , unfortunately , are not up to the task . there are some amusing moments , to be sure , but not enough to make the experience an enjoyable one .

talk about a movie that seemed dated before it even hit the theaters ! spice world is the feature film debut of the pre-fabricated pop band , the spice girls . it's intended as a sort of hard day's night , but ends up simply hard to watch . when watching the spice girls , i'm reminded of an old saturday morning cartoon trick ( such as from the smurfs , the snorks , or teenage mutant ninja turtles ) in which identically animated creatures are differentiated into characters merely by one personality quirk and a different name . the spice girls are themselves as interchangable as pringles , and about as talented . there's ginger ( geri halliwell ) , the brainy one , sporty ( melanie chisholm ) , the athletic one , baby ( emma bunton ) , the childish one , posh ( victoria adams ) , the fashion-conscious one , and scary ( melanie brown ) , the one with a tongue pierced back so far you're almost certain the post sticks out her throat . the film itself doesn't really have a plot . it follows the girls as they travel here and there , culminating at their " first live performance " at albert hall . the action , however , seems more like a hodgepodge of mismatched ideas . the various misfires include : an alien encounter , a fiendish tabloid editor scheming to wreck the spice girls , the shooting of a spice girls documentary , a movie producer ( george wendt ) trying to pitch various ideas for a spice girls movie ( nearly all of which , though incredibly far fetched , seem more plausible than the mess with which they ended up ) , a meeting with a pregnant friend ( whose sole purpose seems to be to maintain the film maxim that all pregnant characters must give birth before the movie ends ) , a boating adventure , a bus race , club-hopping ( wherein apparently no one notices the famous spice girls among the crowd . . . even when they start to sing ) , and an assorted number of musical performances , press conferences , and general all-around celebrity stuff . whew . for some reason , the film is littered with star cameos . from elton john to elvis costello , from bob hoskins to meat loaf . heck , even roger moore shows up , though he can't decide if he's parodying himself as james bond , or if he's lobbying to be the reincarnation of ernst stavro blofeld . richard e . grant has the largest secondary part , a thankless role of the band's manager , clifford . the celebrity spotting is partially amusing , and a decent way to pass the time when confronted with the rest of the film . neither amusing or spontaneous , when the spice girls are between songs they are deadly boring . their songs are alright , but they play like lifeless adaptations of the music videos . my advice to fans is : stay home and watch that video collection , or at least spin that cd a couple of more times . . . either option will be more enjoyable than the film . non-fans should know to stay well away from this one .

written by alex cox , tod davies , terry gilliam and tony grisoni directed by terry gilliam i've always preferred mushrooms to blotter acid . dropping acid is like riding a roller coaster blindfolded ; you have no idea where the peaks and valleys are , no idea when the next terrifying decent will send your stomach into your throat , and no idea how long the ride will last . then there's the hard knot in your gut and the clenched teeth that come with ingesting a strychnine-laced dose . mushrooms , on the other hand , offer the psychedelic equivalent of a leisurely ride on a ferris wheel : a steady , reassuring assent , a short period of thrilling motion and color , and then a smooth landing . acid is for daredevils ; mushrooms are for refined seekers of joy . my point is that in fear and loathing in las vegas , director terry gilliam has made an acid movie , when i wish he would have made a mushroom movie . full of shocking sight gags , aggressive images and grotesque comic performances , the film certainly offers something for those fans of hunter s . thompson's book who want to experience its twisted pharmacological world-view from the inside out . but for those of us who just want to enjoy a well-made film , gilliam has produced a mixed bag . fear and loathing tells the ostensibly true story of how self-professed " gonzo " journalist hunter s . thompson ( johnny depp ) and hispanic activist attorney oscar zeta actosta ( benicio del toro ) , came to las vegas to cover a motorcycle race and found themselves trapped in the middle of a district attorney's convention while ingesting every conceivable drug available to a man of means in 1971 . operating under the pseudonyms of " raoul duke " and " dr . gonzo " , the two men careen into vegas on an acid and mescaline bender , then hole up in a hotel suite to binge on amyl nitrite , cocaine , tequila and a rainbow of multi-colored uppers and downers . they terrorize every one they meet , mostly because every one they meet terrifies them . duke hallucinates giant bats on the way into town , then is attacked by horrifying lizards in the casino lounge . dr . gonzo becomes enamored of a thick-bladed hunting knife and begs duke to throw the tape player into the bathtub with him just as jefferson airplane's " white rabbit " reaches its climax . and these guys don't just trash hotel rooms - they rape them , humiliate them and leave them for dead . that neither of them ends up dead or in jail is testament to blind luck or providence , depending on your point of view . thompson's book , besides being a hilarious read , has stood the test of time as an important historical document . it simultaneously exposed the 60's drug culture for the sham that it was and exposed las vegas as the place where the american dream came to die . pontificate all you want about how the film illustrates thompson's message , but the truth is that , stripped to its bare essentials , what gilliam has wrought is a drug comedy . it's a cheech and chong movie . you're there to watch depp and del toro ingest a lot of chemicals and then laugh at the results : see johnny take drugs , see johnny fall down . there's nothing wrong with this concept , but gilliam tries too hard . this is a frantic movie - all sweaty close-ups , wide-angle lenses , dutch tilts and other-worldly lighting schemes . there are times when gilliam really does put a convincing representation of an acid trip on the screen . but to what end ? much of the dialogue comes verbatim from thompson's book , and there are some priceless comic observations . but you're hard pressed to hear or digest them amidst all the jumbled camera work . this brings us to the performances , which strike me as all wrong . depp plays thompson as groucho marks filtered through george c . scott in patton - a gimmicky performance which works against the biting satire of thompson's dialogue . in between his several puking scenes , del toro fares better as dr . gonzo , but he also mumbles and sputters so many of his lines that their weight is lost . watching these two made me wish that the movie had been made twenty years ago , with dan akroyd and john belushi as the leads - now that would have been something to see . it's interesting to note that alex cox , credited as a co-writer on the screenplay , was originally slated to direct before gilliam took over . as much of a fan as i am of gilliam's work , cox would have been the better choice . sid and nancy , cox's best work , covered essentially the same subject matter , but cox was able to pull back and allow the characters of sid vicious and nancy spungen to carry the film . gilliam commits the compound sin of over-directing his film while being uncertain of his purpose . what kind of movie was he trying to make , anyway ? it doesn't try to be a cautionary tale , and it doesn't work as broad comedy . if he had considered more carefully his purpose , the result would have been a much more interesting film . but i don't want to be too hard on it . there are some truly funny moments , and if you're in a good enough mood you might get a kick out of it . i do , however , recommend watching fear and loathing in las vegas under the influence of your favorite controlled substance - i guarantee it will enhance the effect .

as african american detective vergil tibbs questions a suspected white murderer inside a jail cell , there is a wonderful , eye-catching shot which instantaneously presents the main message of the entire film . the shot has tibbs' face completely covered by the shadows of the prison bars . to see these bars blocking his face , we see how separated tibbs is from the rest of the characters in the film . as a black detective conducting an investigation in a southern town full of violent white bigots , no matter how innocent tibbs is , he is still seen by these bigots as a threat simply because of the color of his skin . the bars show that tibbs has not been given a fair chance to show exactly who he is , instead others have chosen him as different and dangerous . this one shot amazes me because it captures a whole theme in a matter of seconds . it perhaps may be the most powerful image i have seen in a film . " in the heat of the night " was the first and the best of the three films norman jewison directed concerning racism in america . jewison has a very keen style of displaying various cases of racism as he is neither pedantic nor overly sentimental . in these three films he does an excellent job creating very detailed equal analyses of characters from the abused to the abusers . he is also not afraid to tell the absolute truth about how corrupt society was in the past and is in the present . preceding the very original " a soldier's story " and the recently released " the hurricane , " " in the heat of the night contains some classic lines and some very memorable characters . the film , which won best picture in 1967 focuses on vergil tibbs , played superbly by sidney poitier as a fearless african american police officer from philadelphia who refuses to give up on an investigation in a white town where is he not wanted . tibbs is a man who rarely loses his temper and that is worth mentioning because he is constantly facing abuse from those around him . as a hero who is not afraid to face off against five men with chains , tibbs is the perfect protagonist . poitier also gives an excellent , noteworthy voice to his character . never nervous and always commanding , his speech patterns are very manipulative as they range from stentorian to soothing . however , unlike " the hurricane " where denzel washington dominated over the rest of the cast , poitier shares the spotlight with rod steiger , who won best actor for his excellent performance . as a sheriff who helps tibbs and warns him of the dangers around him , steiger shows a great amount of skill in his role . he starts off as racist and blind as the other townspeople . he would refer to tibbs as " boy " and would always suspiciously keep an eye on him . as the film progresses though , there is a very gradual change in the sheriff . he begins to see the hardships tibbs faces and he sees the foolishness of his own neighbors . what i really enjoyed about steiger's character was that he did not completely abandon his friends or connect with tibbs at the end of the film . he still could not refer to tibbs as mister tibbs or officer tibbs but rather settled for virgil . instead , it was apparent that he was eventually going to see the world differently in the future . most movies would have a character reversing all of his beliefs and influences in a matter of minutes . this action would not have been realistic at all since it is nearly impossible for someone to believe something one day and believe something else the next day . jewison's determination to make this film as realistic as possible is very obvious here and also very appropriate . " in the heat of the night " shows the difference between the north and the south or a major city and a small town in the united states during the 1960's . it displays this perfectly . however , the actual investigation , although it is not the main focus of the film , lacks interest . it seemed rushed especially towards the end as if jewison had given his message about racism and did not feel like giving a credible explanation involving the murder victim . there were way too many characters added during the last fifteen minutes and some of the scenes during this time period were inane ( police officer sam being a suspect was not needed ) . also , it is given that tibbs is a vigilant homicide detective who is the best at what he does , but some of his discoveries came out of nowhere and how he found out some of the important case details towards the end were never answered . the rushed ending was the only mistake of this otherwise memorable jewison classic . ( a congratulations has to be given to actor scott wilson . he managed to be in the two best movies of 1967 , " in the heat of the night " and the even better " in cold blood . " )

welcome to your oh-so typical sequel . it tries to be twice as big as it's predecessor , yet ends up twice as shallow . shallow . . . . hmm . . . now there's an idea . maybe if the ill-fated cruise liner in this movie had struck a shallow reef early on things may have turned out better . the first thing that struck me . . . and surprised me , was that the camera work ( for the opening sequence anyway ) was terrible . looked like the cameramen were drunk and kept tripping on their own feet . . . . . . very different to the original movie . the characters ? well , not many of the characters actually * had * characters , but here's a rundown . annie , who was the highlight of the the original , must have seriously banged her head in the train crash at the end of the first movie . why ? because something's got to account for her losing that many iq points . even though annie wasn't exactly a rocket scientist in speed , here some of her actions just make you want to beat your head against a wall . for instance , after successfully using a chainsaw to cut a hole in a door so that a group of people can escape noxious gases - she stands in the middle of the opening for about five minutes till someone reminds her that the people can't get ut till she get's the chainsaw out of their faces . . . . bang bang bang in point of fact sandra's character is turned into little more than one of those scantly dressed extras from hercules , who constantly has to be rescued . jason patric ? all i can say is bring back keanu . keanu reeves might have the emotional range of a tree stump . . . but that's one more tree stump than jason has . i don't think he changed facial expressions all movie - jason , smile for the cameras ! ! now frown ! . . . i said frown . . . . oh . . . you are . . . bang bang bang . . wooden just doesn't describe this guys performance , but it'll have to do . the bad guy . . . . . ahh . . . william dafoe - there's a bright move . how can you go wrong with the star from that acknowledged classic , body of evidence ? ( yes , that is sarcasm ) . his wide eyed maniac of a character doesn't start out too bad . . . . but goes steadily downhill as the movie progresses . in the end he degenerates to chasing annie around for a hostage , even though he already has the money and can escape . . . . bang bang . though i'd like to give this movie a double thumbs down , there were some nice sequences . considering the movie cost over 100 million dollars - you'd hope there'd be at least a couple . the real eye-popper for me , even though it was given away in the trailer . . . . bang bang . . . . . was the sequence where the cruise liner sideswipes the oil tanker . this looks terrific and i was very surprised to hear that the cruise liner in it was . . . . completely computer generated ! wow . . . . i don't think i've ever seen a cg model look so real before . the sequence where jason patric in trying to disable the propellers from under the ship is also terrific , and the only time during the entire movie where you get that feeling of . . . . speed . this lack-of-speed problem affects many sequences . such as the oil tanker part . . . . . it was - " oh no , we're going to hit the oil tanker ! " , 20 minutes later - " oh no , we're going to hit the oil tanker ! " 20 min . . . . you get the point . this movie failed simply because it didn't live up to it's name . . . . there was very little feeling of speed . in the original movie , the lead characters had to make split second decisions to survive . . . . . in this movie it felt more like - " well people , we're gonna run into that there island in a few hours - i think i might stroll over to engineering and see if i can't turn off the engines . . . i'm passing the cafeteria on the way , can i get anybody anything ? " the ending of this movie really is terrible . even though it features what i've since found out is one of the most expensive sequences ever in a movie - it just doesn't work at all . the part where the liner crashes through the town looks very realistic , but . . . . surprise surprise - it just takes waaaaay too long . it seemed to go for 15 minutes before the ship finally stopped . one thing that struck me as extremely poor scriptiing was that as the ship crashes through the harbour and town , around 25 people are killed by the ship . . . . and there's only 15 or so people left on the ship . so when it stops safe and sound and the characters are all cheering - the audience is sitting back and thinking - " wait a sec . . . this is a happy moment because ? " bang bang then there was the dog . . . . . i almost fell out of my seat when i saw the bit with the dog dodging the falling debris . putting a dog in peril has become the ultimate hollywood cliche . . . . . . every movie seems to have a 'dog-in-danger' sequence - volcano , dante's peak , independence day , daylight , twister . lost world . . . . . . etc , etc . this movie is a perfect example of how not to make a sequel . director jan de bont should try watching the orignal movie and this one back-to-back and see if he realises where he went wrong .

some critics , including siskel & ebert , are on the record stating that martin scorsese's raging bull , the story of boxer jake la motta , is the best film of the '80s . since there are still a number of '80s films that i haven't seen , i don't feel qualified to make such a judgment , but i'll say this without hesitation : raging bull is a great motion picture , and i would be surprised if more than a handful of films released between january 1 , 1980 and december 31 , 1989 come close to its level . bio-pics often fall into one of two categories : overblown hero- worship or a dry , dull textbook account . it's rare that a movie with the moniker " based on the life of ? " comes across as anything more than sporadically energetic and marginally entertaining . raging bull is the perfect counterexample , and a brilliant argument for film makers to continue to work in this genre . the picture takes the life of boxer jake la motta , a middleweight icon from the '40s and '50s , and develops one of the most compelling character studies ever to reach the big screen . for all 129 minutes , director martin scorsese and actor robert de niro ( in the title role ) have us mesmerized by this individual who is by turns sympathetic , sad , and horrifying . historically , raging bull is said to be mostly accurately , with the lion's share of the details culled from la motta's own autobiography ( which was co-written with joseph carter and peter savage ) . however , although la motta is credited as the movie's " consultant , " he was reportedly unhappy with the final result , because it portrays him as nothing short of an uncouth , insensitive lout . the la motta of the movie is a man of extreme appetites who is driven by base , bestial impulses ? paranoia , jealousy , and blind rage . sex and violence are inextricably linked . the title is apt ? la motta is a raging bull . in the ring , he is a terror , not just beating his opponents , but destroying them . outside of it , he is no less vicious or more easily controlled . the two people who spar with him on life's canvas are his wife , vicki ( cathy moriarty ) , and his brother/manager , joey ( joe pesci ) . these are the two who mean the most to jake , and who , as a result of his inability to trust himself or others , he loses . he beats vicki mercilessly because he suspects her of infidelity , and , when he inaccurately believes that his brother betrayed him , his lets loose with an explosion of violence . raging bull opens in 1941 when la motta , an up-and-coming fighter , is battling his way into the upper echelon of the middleweight class . over the years , he wins several key bouts , including one against his arch-rival , sugar ray robinson ( johnny barnes ) , but his unwillingness to capitulate with the local godfather keeps him from an opportunity to participate in a championship match . meanwhile , away from the ring , la motta falls in love with 15-year old vicki , who he marries after discarding his shrewish first wife . vicki becomes jake's greatest prize ( a wife , in his view , is not a companion , but a possession ) and the source of his most extreme pain . his own insecurity is so great that he cannot accept that a woman as beautiful as vicki could be faithful to him . hence , he is constantly haunted by a belief that she is sleeping with someone else ? perhaps even his brother . ( this leads to the famous line parodied in waiting for guffman and elsewhere : " are you f * * king my wife ? ? ? " ) in the late '40s , la motta gets his first shot at a championship fight , but with one huge condition : he must take a fall . he does it so badly that an investigation is launched and he is almost thrown out of boxing . two years later , he wins the championship , only to lose it in a subsequent bout to sugar ray . by the late '50s and early '60s , when the film ends , jake has become a pathetic figure ? a broke , overweight loser who has spent time in jail for corrupting the morals of a minor , has lost his wife and children , and is trying to earn a few bucks by doing a cheap standup routine . raging bull is the other side of rocky . sylvester stallone's tale of boxing triumph was released to great critical acclaim in 1976 . it won the 1977 best picture oscar , and a sequel arrived in theaters before raging bull went into production . but , where rocky romanticizes boxing , raging bull takes a cold , unflinching look at the violence both inside and outside of the ring . while scorsese's primary aim is to present a riveting deconstruction of la motta the man , he never backs away from showing the seedy , ugly underside of a sport where gambling , greed , and organized crime force fighters to throw matches to continue working . rocky shows boxing at its noblest ; raging bull shows it at its most diseased . there's little i can say here that hasn't already said about de niro's performance . in a career that has included many fine roles , this is his most outstanding . the level of intensity de niro brings to la motta is unwavering . and , although there's a lot of travis bickle ( de niro's character in taxi driver ) in la motta , scorsese and de niro go to great lengths to make sure that , if we never fully sympathize with him , at least we understand the forces that drive him . this is a complete characterization and a perfect example of acting . as the younger jake , de niro is trim and fit . as the fat , older man , de niro gained 50 pounds and turned his body into a grotesque parody of its normal form . how many actors would go that far ? the best oscar statue is only one testimony to the lasting power of the performance . cathy moriarty and joe pesci both earned nominations for their supporting work ( although neither won ) . their portrayals have the same raw energy that infuses de niro's . pesci , who has basically re-created the same personality in two other scorsese films ( goodfellas and casino ) , presents joey as a slightly more intelligent version of his brother . the misogyny and violence are still there , only better concealed . but , when joey snaps , as he does in one scene where he pounds on a mobster ( frank vincent ) , it's startling to behold . moriarty , on the other hand , must play the temptress with virginal qualities ? the only kind of woman who would ensnare jake . later , she's called upon to portray the battered wife and mother whose love has turned into fear . scorsese and cinematographer michael chapman elected to shoot the bulk of raging bull in black-and-white ( a few " home movie " segments are in color ) . the choice is perfect for the movie , giving raging bull a unique look in an era when a black-and-white approach is almost unheard of . ( one important recent exception , schindler's list , eschewed color for some of the same reasons that raging bull did . ) in black-and-white ( especially considering scorsese's choice of shots and use of slow motion ) , the violence is stark and disturbing . there's no room for romanticism in the ring with inky black blood staining the canvas . during fight sequences , the director also uses a number of point-of-view shots designed to show the world , however briefly , from la motta's perspective . scorsese could have chosen to end the film with la motta's loss to sugar ray , where he surrendered his middleweight crown . after that , his career was all downhill . yet the director allows the film to run for thirty minutes after this pivotal moment , stretching more than a decade into la motta's future . the reason is obvious : scorsese isn't as interested in boxing as he is in the character . following his retirement , la motta is still as violent and volatile as ever , but he has lost the arena in which he can legally unleash those tendencies . we see the results of this beast let loose on society and how the consequences of his actions reduce him to a parody of his former self . who cannot feel a surge of pity for la motta as he quietly recites marlon brando's speech from on the waterfront ? ( " i coulda been a contenda . " ) perhaps raging bull is indeed the best film of the '80s . and , if not , it's certainly perilously close to the zenith .

earlier this year , the movie holy man opened to a meager box office receipt and to indifference from audiences and critics . a real charmer of a movie , it's possible that the subject matter was too hip or trendy to attract any real audience . now , at the end of 1998 , comes waking ned devine , a comedy which inspires the same vein of easygoing laughter . there's no substantial difference between the two other than a more refined atmosphere -- they strike all the same chords -- but still , ned devine is a movie worth seeing . the plot is interesting and robust : the latest lottery winner is ned devine ( jimmy keogh ) , of tullymore , ireland . ned's prize is over six million pounds , but the shock of winning killed the poor old man , and the check remains unclaimed . enter jackie o'shea ( ian bannen ) and michael o'sullivan ( david kelly ) , the only two residents who are aware the winner is in their village . the two men eventually find the ticket , and decide that if michael can convince the lotto authorities that he's actually ned , the entire town can reap the benefits ; their only adversary is an ancient old woman ( eileen dromey ) who sees more profit in reporting the fraud . ian bannen and david kelly truly shine as jackie and michael . jackie , stocky and large , is the brains behind the operation ; michael , scrawny and short , is the method man . the two contrast each other delightfully , and at the same time remain sympathetic to the audience . every viewer is sure to like both of them . there are other minor subplots included as well , such as an unlikely romance between a local girl and the town pig farmer . this appears quite inconsequential until the end , and even with a startling revelation it's a tad bit unnecessary . overall , waking ned devine has a predictable outcome , and plot twists are never really taken seriously . the ending , a very hilarious and very ironic twist of fate , somehow fits with the twisted sense of humor the movie exhibits throughout . the kirk jones script is indeed off-the-cuff . in a way , waking ned devine is exactly like the class of people it presents : warm , friendly , outgoing , and jovial . it's the perfect kind of comedy , a real gem of a tale that sets up a trivial plot outline by which to introduce a sympathetic cast of characters and a string of jokes . there's nothing remotely serious or grounded for more than a moment or two , because the spirit of ned devine is a lighthearted one . indeed , it's one of the year's best feel-good movies -- 91 minutes of unrestrained joy that no one should miss .

the trailers and the beginning of the move sum up this plot very easily . three filmmakers venture into the woods of maryland to track down the legend of the blair witch for a documentary they are making . they disappear and their footage is discovered a year later buried underneath the foundation of a one hundred year old house . from there , things become a little more complicated . i can say , with absolute assurance , that no film has ever had quite the impact that this little movie has had on me . although i know it was all a staged " mockumentary " , there's no denying the psychological impact this film will leave on you . i didn't feel much upon initially watching it . i just thought it was an interesting film with some pretty creepy parts . i never even dreamed that thirty minutes after the film had ended i would be frightened out of my mind just discussing it with a friend . i've gotten chills every time i've brought it up since then . this is not a movie that hits you right away . instead this is a movie that sits at the base of your spine , waits until you think everything is okay , then it slowly starts to creep it's way up into your mind . this is truly the most frightening movie i have ever had the pleasure to watch . the film is comprised of home video and 16mm camera footage that the documentarians supposedly shot for their blair witch film , so don't expect any steadi-cam shots or fancy camera work . this is as real as it gets folks . i don't recommend sitting too close to the theater screen though , because i guarantee you will get motion sickness from the constant movement of the camera . the performances of the three lead actors in the film are so real , you may find yourself questioning whether all of this has really happened or not . this is definitely a movie that warrants home video viewing , especially due to the fact that the bulk of the movie was shot with a standard home video camera . the reality of the images will strike frighteningly close to home when viewed as actual video instead of the tape-to-film transfer done for the big screen . word has it that a special edition dvd with boatloads of extras ( hours of deleted scenes , alternate endings , commentary , the sci-fi channel special , and others ) is being planned for release . i urge artisan entertainment to forge ahead with this plan and give us what could be the dvd to rival all dvd's . i know i'll be first in line to buy one . [r]

i have never been a " star trek " fan , and , to tell the truth , out of the five films in the series that i have seen ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 8 , 9 ) , i have disliked all of them . i do , however , always go into one of these with an open mind , and the ninth film in the series , " star trek : insurrection , " is no exception . dropping almost completely the hard-core sci-fi element of the previous one in the series , " first contact , " " insurrection , " tells the story of a planet that holds only 600 people , known as the ba'ku , as well as the fountain of youth . at the start of the picture , the villagers go under attack by a second alien species , known as the son'a , who want to push all of the ba'ku out so that their own race will not die out . also attacking the ba'ku is data ( brent spiner ) , a robot from the star trek enterprise . after returning to jean-luc picard ( patrick stewart ) and the gang on their space ship , no one can understand why data was somehow taken over by another force . so several of the star trek members travel down to the planet of the ba'ku , where picard meets up and starts to fall in love with one of the inhabitants , a sultry , kind alien woman ( donna murphy ) , who is over six-hundred-years-old , but looks to only be in her thirties . " star trek : insurrection , " is a completely unoriginal and cheap-looking installment in the series , and is a big step down from , 1996's " first contact , " which at least appeared to try to make something a bit different . in , " insurrection , " however , it plays like a low-rent episode of the television show , due to the small-scale , generic storyline , and an emphasis on one-liners rather than excitement . the film was filled with nearly non-stop comedy , and worse yet , most of it fell flatter than a cartoon character that drops off a cliff . meanwhile , when there were action sequences , they were not at all interesting or inventive , relying on that old reliable ticking timer that counts down very , very slowly . this plot device , which is seen in just about every action film made nowadays , is getting old fast . are filmmakers so bankrupt of ingenuity and ideas that they must always have a timer ticking away during the climax ? another element of , " star trek , " films in general is that picard seems to always have to have a love interest , but then she always miraculously disappears when the next film is made two or three years later . although donna murphy , who falls victim to this thankless love interest role here , is actually one of the few characters that we get to know in the 103-minute running time , alfre woodard was far superior in , " first contact . " she should have returned for this one , but i don't blame her for not wanting to waste her time with this movie's disappointing and often lifeless screenplay , by michael piller . " star trek : insurrection , " is perhaps the weakest film in the " star trek , " series , although i have not seen what is widely considered the worst , " star trek v : the final frontier . " " insurrection , " is the type of " safe " sequel that will bewilder non-fans , since it is so low-tech compared to most of today's blockbuster action films ( although most of these are honestly not very good , either ) , and should disappoint the loyal trekkies , since it could have easily been better if the makers had realized that the screenplay needed to go through a few more drafts . on second thought , they probably should have completely thrown the script out . that way , they could have come up with a story that at least had a sign of intelligence and freshness .

hilarious , ultra-low budget comedy from film school dropout kevin smith chronicles a day in the life of two convenience store slackers ( brian o'halloran and jeff anderson ) . they spend most of their day ignoring customers while discussing everything from fellatio to self-fulfillment . the premise is strictly sitcom and the photography is grainy as all get-out , but you could spend ten times the film's budget ( a reported $27 , 000 ) and still not get dialogue half as good as this . originally rated nc-17 for language . not recommended for viewers with sensitive ears . killing zoe =========== remake reservoir dogs as a french art film and you're halfway to killing zoe , writer/director roger avary's slow-moving story of a failed bastille day bank robbery . eric stoltz stars as an american in paris who gets in * way * over his head when hooks up with a band of nihilistic bank robbers . he's the safecracker who's blissful unaware that the bank job is a botch job from the word go . though intriguing on all fronts , the film is paced at half the speed of pulp fiction , which avary co-wrote with quentin tarantino . in english and french . the road to wellville ===================== based on the novel by t . coraghessan boyle , the road to wellville doesn't go very far . bowels , bowels , and more bowels are explored by dr . john harvey kellogg ( a buck-toothed and bespectacled anthony hopkins ) , who , in the early 1900's , advocated abstinence , vegetarianism , and frequent defecation . he also invented the cornflake . really . checking-in to kellogg's battle creek sanitarium are matthew broderick and bridget fonda , just two of the many well-known faces in this failed comedy . leave your laughter at the door and you can marvel at the unfunny antics of john cusack , michael lerner , lara flynn boyle , john neville , and dana carvey . the art direction is impeccable and some of the early sequences are amusing , but the novelty quickly wears off as writer/director alan parkers tries his darnedness to turn doo-doo into drama . what he ends up with is something that i can't print here . phew ! stargate ======== lawrence of arabia meets star wars . this epic sci-fi film is more sheer spectacle than anything else . director roland emmerich ( universal solider ) shamelessly rips off lucas and spielberg and just about any other cosmic cliche that he can lay his hands on . the film is overlong , the characters are cardboard , and the script is filled with some of the most laughable details in modern sci-fi history . that said , there's still plenty to watch here . sci-fi fans should enjoy the sculpted sands , the morphing headdresses , and a surprisingly spunky james spader . he plays the egyptologist who gets to prove his theory that that " somebody else " built the pyramids . less interesting are co-stars kurt russell and jaye davidson of crying game fame . star trek generations ===================== trek fans may be more forgiving , but , for the rest of us , the sluggish star trek generations is a mixed bag at best . the story is interesting , but each scene goes too long . the cast is earnest , but the direction lacks punch . and so on . ( the best example of the latter is a klingon comeuppance that delivers none of the impact of a similar scene in star trek ii . ) original enterprise captain james t . kirk appears on both ends of the story , though they cut the scene where shatner turns to the screen to plead " get a life . " remarkably unremarkable . miracle on 34th street ====================== in a season of the specialist and pulp fiction et al , maybe a remake of miracle on 34th street * is * necessary . john hughes certainly believes in santa claus and his les mayfield-directed production does nothing to tarnish the memory of the 1947 original . the romance between costars dylan mcdermott and elizabeth perkins doesn't work too well , but the film makes a strong case that richard attenborough is the definitive kriss kringle . his chemistry with children can moisten any eye . no claus for alarm . junior ====== arnold schwarzenegger pregnant ? sure , billy crystal did it before in rabbit test , but the sight of schwarz with a bulging belly is a casting coup comparable to dustin hoffman in tootsie . what should be nothing more than a one-joke premise actually gets better as it goes along . director ivan reitman ( dave , twins ) wisely keeps the farce to a minimum , so the first hour moves slower than you might expect . don't expect too many yuks from danny devito , but you can't beat those early romantic scenes between emma and arnie . how's * that * for a collision of acting styles ?

trees lounge is the directoral debut from one of my favorite actors , steve buscemi . he gave memorable performences in in the soup , fargo , and reservoir dogs . now he tries his hand at writing , directing and acting all in the same flick . the movie starts out awfully slow with tommy ( buscemi ) hanging around a local bar the " trees lounge " and him pestering his brother . it's obvious he a loser . but as he says " it's better i'm a loser and know i am , then being a loser and not thinking i am . " well put . the story starts to take off when his uncle dies , and tommy , not having a job , decides to drive an ice cream truck . well , the movie starts to pick up with him finding a love interest in a 17 year old girl named debbie ( chloe sevigny ) and . . . i liked this movie alot even though it did not reach my expectation . after you've seen him in fargo and reservoir dogs , you know he is capable of a better performence . i think his brother , michael , did an excellent job for his debut performence . mr . buscemi is off to a good career as a director !

as fairy tales go , cinderella has to be one of the most famous . almost everyone knows it , well at least in north america . so it is natural that someone will try to make a movie out of it . it has been done before with varying results . this version of the story is both similar to the original and different at the same time . the basic story remains unchanged but , one thing that seems to vanish with this version , and that is all the fantastical elements of the story . there is no fairy god mother or anything even remotely of that nature . after the fantastical elements are stripped away what is left is a realistic believable rendition of the cinderella story and an interesting love story at the least . . unlike in the fairy tale , the prince plays a much larger part than just that of the masked ball at the end . the ? prince' , who happens to be the crown prince to the throne of france , meets 'cinderella' , known as danielle , on a few occasions , most coincidentally and he becomes smitten with her . although this seems to be a far cry from the traditional story it allows for the main plot to proceed with enough room for some imaginative story telling . . the story takes place in a renaissance setting ; in france , with leonardo da vinci providing some comic relief on more than one occasion . this addition of leonardo da vinci , was quite successful in that it added some color to the movie , since some of the roles are a bit stereotypical . for example the role that was scripted for the prince leaves a few things to be desired . for instance the character seems to be a bit too unstable and fickle , a crown prince should not be anything remotely like that . especially since he is portrayed to be in his mid twenties at the least and almost ready to take the throne . the characters of danielle ( cinderella ) played by drew barrymore , and that of the evil step mother , played by anjelica huston , are well developed and well played by the two women . although the part of danielle is a bit stretched it is not too unlikely and not totally unbelievable . the nuances of the character are brought out well by drew barrymore and from watching the movie it seems like she had fun making the movie . as a contrast the part of the evil step mother is clearly seen from the very beginning and is almost clique . but , anjelica huston seems to add a certain flair to the role that makes it suit the movie nearly perfectly . the actual story is fairly predictable since it is after all the basic story of cinderella , but there are more than enough twists in how the story is told to make it interesting and enjoyable . the acting is of high caliber and seems deserved of praise . all in all this movie takes you back into history , into a seemingly magical fairy land . but , don't get me wrong there is nothing but reality , it is just refreshing to watch a movie that is not based in a familiar setting with everyday familiar things happening . so although the story is basically familiar the world it is set in is not , and that adds a dimension to the film which in this humble reviewers opinion makes it worth seeing

one would think that david duchovny , star of the cult favorite " x-files " would be very careful in choosing his leading man cinema roles . at least one would hope so . one would be seriously incorrect . eugene sands ( duchovny ) is a surgeon so dedicated to his craft that he becomes addicted to amphetamines to stay awake and work more . it turns out to be a bad plan when he loses a patient and his license while under the influence . ten months later , in a seedy bar to score synthetic heroin , the doctor gets a chance to ply his trade when assassins gun down a customer . using a plastic water bottle and bar tubing , sands operates and saves his life . smalltime hoodlum raymond blossom ( timothy hutton ) is impressed with the cutlery skills on his associate . he kidnaps and then offers down-and-out eugene a position in his organization . blossom needs a doctor to patch up gunshot victims that would be problematic at a hospital . sand's temptation is that this will give him a chance to practice medicine again albeit illegally , big chunks of cash to fuel his habit and close proximity to the gangster's womanfriend claire ( angelina jolie ) , this film's babe factor . the would-be big time operator is desperately in need of help . on the run from russian mobsters ( the bad guys that seem to be all the rage in this year's films ) and trying to cut a pirate software deal with the chinese mafia , blossom is surrounded by blood . after a few medical misadventures , the physician grows disenchanted with his employment . an encounter with a couple of psycho surfer dudes who threaten to blow him away unless he " fixes " their dead buddy cements his feeling that he is in the wrong line of work . when the fbi visits and forces him to become an informant , there is no question that he needs to be somewhere else . oddly enough , these seem like they could be exciting scenes . the film disproves that assumption . then a bunch of other uninteresting things happen . writing this only two days after seeing the film , its a struggle to remember the events . you can take that as a solid lack of recommendation . for all the coolness that duchovny exhibits in " x-files " , it's a surprise that his big screen presence is so lacking in charisma . the doctor is particularly bland and dull . even the cold turkey bit which is rife with dramatic possibilities come across as banal . a little chocolate and minor sweats get him through heroin withdrawal . like virtually everything else in the film , it's a missed opportunity . the fox mulder detachment doesn't work here . oscar-winner hutton's manic mobster is much more difficult to get a handle on . played partially for comedy and partially as crazed killer , blossom almost becomes real , but then sinks into goofiness . most of the time hutton looks as if he's searching for his character and coming up empty . jolie also makes a few false moves towards creating a three-dimensional human being before giving up and turning into scenery . the most interesting aspect of her performance is watching her pouty lips threaten to take over the screen . the rest aren't any better . michael massee's eccentric fbi agent never revs up . one of blossom's henchmen steals a few moments of the show as a quirky gunman reminiscent of val kilmer's doc holliday in " tombstone " . his two-gunned blasting as he does a bizarre dance is the high point of the film . but that 15 seconds isn't worth sitting through the other 90 minutes . first time film director andy wilson ( known for his work on the british television series " cracker " ) appears to be attempting to jump on the " pulp fiction " bandwagon . the best of these movies combine a sense of style and flash with significant substance . the second-rate ones concentrate on just one of these aspects . " playing god " does neither well . the basic idea of the film is solid . and then it goes nowhere . even worse , it plods back and forth , up and down a long and winding road before it ends up nowhere . fox fails yet again in his search for intelligent life .

what surprises me most about the long-awaited batman is that the movie centers not on the caped crusader but on the joker . the dark knight actually has less screen time than his homicidal arch nemesis ! i can hear batfans everywhere protesting : " first they had the nerve to cast michael keaton as batman , and now they think they can get away with making him second banana to the joker ! ! " and , indeed , this situation would have been altogether inappropriate and intolerable were it not for the fact that someone at warner brothers had the savvy to cast jack nicholson in the role he was born to play . nicholson deserves the top billing he is receiving in the posters and opening credits since his astounding , oscar-worthy performance as the joker is the highlight of batman . nicholson shows no inhibition or shame as he pulls out all the stops to create a joker that makes cesar romero look like bozo the clown ( romero played the joker in the '60s tv series ) . on one hand , nicholson's joker is extremely funny . his murderous escapades and manic outbursts ( which include defacing paintings in an art museum and invading the television airwaves with hilarious pirate broadcasts ) bring humor and laughter into an otherwise dark film . but on the other hand , his outwardly jovial disposition is only a mask for his intense contempt for all of mankind . the joker's cruelty and demented , diabolical nature are truly frightening and sinister . this guy is off his rocker , and he not only knows it , he flaunts it ! but enough about nicholson as the joker : i'm sure most people are wondering about michael keaton as batman . like many , i was outraged when warner brothers announced that keaton had been cast as the caped crusader . but batfans need not worry because holy unconventional casting ! keaton delivers . he is convincing as the tormented millionaire , bruce wayne , and beneath his hard , black body armor , he is mysterious and formidable as the batman . even though the screenplay only halfheartedly attempts to develop the character , keaton manages to give hints of the inner turmoil and emotional rage that drive wayne to don his bat gear and battle the low life scum of gotham city . visually , batman is a knockout nothing short of a triumph for director tim burton and his production team . the movie successfully captures the film noir look and bleak , gloomy atmosphere of such batman comic books as " the dark knight returns " and " the killing joke . " burton's film is a feast for the eyes ; the $35 million budget is definitely on the screen . the sets , costumes , and make-up are stunning and worthy of oscar nominations . nicholson isn't joking when he boasts , " wait 'till they get a load of me ! " his grimacing smile , green hair , and purple suits over orange shirts are colorful and outrageous . keaton's wardrobe is equally appropriate . batman's cape , mask , and body armor make him look threatening , frightening , and invincible bringing to mind not adam west's campy costume in the tv series but peter weir's outfit in robocop . production designer anton furst's sets are a wonder . gotham city is dark and foreboding , almost as if it were an expressionist vision of new york . the batcave is cold , bare , and desolate . the world that burton and furst have created in batman is a melancholy nightmare of violence and corruption . the movie's gritty bladerunner/robocop look is a joy to behold . the plot , on the other hand , is not as rousing . the screenplay is not up to snuff in comparison to the stylized sets and superb acting . it takes forever for what little story there is to finally kick into gear . batman tries to walk a thin line between action and character psychology , but it fails to give us enough of either one . as i mentioned earlier , the screenplay gives us plenty of the joker , but it never fully establishes batman's psychological motives and underpinnings . in terms of action , batman is not as thrilling as you might expect . burton seems more concerned with the visual and dramatic elements of the story . more than anything , batman is a mood film . while batman may not completely absorb and excite you , it will likely impress you with its success at bringing to life the style and spirit of the batman comic books . thanks to its distinctive look , the movie like a good comic book transports us to another world .

" an intimate , character-driven drama about a troubled youth at a crossroads in his life , " read the press notes for _reach_the_rock_ . i'm not really sure what film that statement is describing because those words bear little resemblance to the slow , completely uninvolving bore i saw--at least , it certainly does not describe what goes on for most of the film . alessandro nivola plays robin fleming , a troubled , directionless 21-year-old who has a penchant for breaking storefront windows in a small town . police sergeant phil quinn ( william sadler ) takes him in , and what ensues for the first 70 minutes is a tedious series of sneak-outs and sneak-ins where robin slips out of his jail cell , breaks a window , then returns , all without quinn ever noticing . also added to the pointless proceedings is some would-be humorous shenanigans involving quinn's dimwitted deputy ernie attempting to engage in clandestine patrol car sex with his girlfriend donna ( karen sillas ) . with a half hour ( if even that long ) remaining , director william ryan and writer john hughes ( yes , john hughes of '80s youth films and _home_alone_ ) finally approach something close to a point . turns out robin still pines for his high school sweetheart lise ( brooke langton ) , who has long gone on with her life , and hughes's main concern at long last reveals itself as a tired " live in the present and for the future " message . most moviegoers , however , will likely be asleep by that time . wide awake , however , is the cast , who individually tackle their showcase dramatic scenes with energy and skill--thus revealing the _real_ purpose behind this listless enterprise : to serve as a series of acting exercises . such a glorified workshop may have its rewards for the actors , but it leaves audiences with a booby prize . ( opens october 16 )

a month ago i wrote that speed 2 was the worst film i've ever reviewed on paper . i didn't know at the time that i'd soon encounter and despise batman & robin , which has just overtaken speed 2 as the picture least worthy of your attention this summer . as directed by joel schumacher ( who now specializes in batman sequels and john grisham adaptations and isn't very good at either ) , b & r is one long excuse for a taco bell promotion . the plot , which has mr . freeze and poison ivy ( uma thurman ) planning to take over gotham city and then " the vorld " ( as an oddly ineffective schwarzenegger states ) , is weighted down by repetitive asides about the nature of trust , partnership , blah , blah , blah . but morals are not the point of this film--topping each bloated , confusing action scene with next one is . the garish art direction and overlit cinematography make this picture oddly comparable to the trashy showgirls . since when did gotham city become a giant las vegas hotel ? only george clooney comes out on top ; he underplays nicely and pretends like he's in a real movie .

in the interest of being generous , i want to start this review with the scene that i liked in meet joe black . sir anthony hopkins , playing a super-rich media mogul , has gathered his family around him for dinner . his oldest daughter ( played by marcia gay harden from millers crossing ) , who has been obsessively planning his sinfully extravagant birthday party , presents him with three superbly decorated little cakes , which are supposed to be scale models for his big birthday cake . the daughter asks hopkins to pick the one he likes . hopkins , frustrated by the weight of planning for the whole elaborate affair , does what any man in his position would do : he punts . whichever one you like , dear , he says . and the daughter does exactly what any woman in her position would do : she cries . i liked that scene for two reasons . first , the cakes looked really cool . second , it was , perhaps , the only scene in the movie where people acted as you would expect people to act . meet joe black is chock-full of odd performances , people doing things for no discernible reason at all , and doing them in slow motion over the course of three hours to boot . it's easy to watch meet joe black for the abundant eye candy of the palatial homes and the beauteous claire forlani , but it's even easier to sleep right through it ( two people on my row managed it quite nicely ) . the difficult part of the movie is understanding the characters and their motivations and why someone thought three hours was an appropriate length for this overwrought mess . i know my audience had problems with the movie , because they thought it was a comedy . case in point : everyone should know by now that brad pitt plays the angel of death in this movie . however , the first we see of him is as a young lawyer in a coffee shop hitting on the glamorous claire forlani . ( it's not clear from the movie whether you need a law degree to become the angel of death , but it makes a certain kind of sense . ) it shouldn't take long for the observant moviegoer to realize that bad things are about to happen to mr . pitt . and indeed they do ( after a hideously prolonged sequence where pitt looks over his shoulder at the retreating forlani and forlani looks over her shoulder at the retreating pitt ) , because pitt walks into the road without looking and suddenly gets squished . well , when that happened , the audience howled with laughter , and continued to laugh at every comment that was remotely humorous . so , if you think that sudden violent death and sarcastic drawing-room humor are funny , i encourage you to go see meet joe black immediately . anyway , the deceased lawyer's body , no worse the wear from its massive injuries , is possessed by the angel of death and brad pitt takes over that role . the idea is that death ( given the pen name of joe black , so as not to disturb others ) wants to take a holiday and experience the world . if this weren't hollywood , we might get an interesting metaphysical discussion of life and death , but since it is , we get scene after scene of fish-out-of-water humor , just as if death is george of the jungle or crocodile dundee or some other poor schmuck who's wandered in from the jungle or the outback or whatever and doesn't know how to act in our society . it also doesn't help that the character of death is written so inconsistently . he claims to be on vacation , but he never does anything except hang around the seriously attractive claire forlani ( just try to get your travel agent to book that one ) . he speaks very slow and halting english but perfectly fluent jamaican patois . he knows everything about some characters , nothing about others . and as played by brad pitt , he's not especially menacing or charming or glamorous or intriguing , he's just there . it's as if someone told pitt , " never mind about acting in this picture , son , just stand there and look pretty . " it's as if pitt is doing his keanu reeves impression throughout the movie . i've used the phrase " angel of death " in this review very deliberately to contrast pitt's performance with this year's best angel performance , nicolas cage's in city of angels . where pitt is cold and unfeeling , cage is as warm and empathetic as the situation allows . where cage is genuinely curious about the nature of man , pitt is aloof and arrogant . cage struck instant chemical sparks with co-star meg ryan , where the chemistry between pitt and forlani is only understandable if you accept the notion that forlani's character is so shallow that she can't see beyond pitt's good looks . the movie's other top name is a much better actor , but that doesn't save meet joe black . sir anthony hopkins isn't given much better material to work with , unfortunately . he plays one of these good-hearted multimillionaire media moguls that only exist in hollywood . ( one wonders what might have happened if they had made hopkins's character more realistically evil . ) hopkins is marked for death due to a bad ticker , but death steps in and grants him some extra time in exchange for being his guide in the world . of course , no one can be sure of how they will act when death taps on their shoulder . but i have to wonder ( and in this movie , you have a very long time to wonder ) how you or i would act in a similar situation , especially if you or i were a multimillionaire . hopkins pretty much goes to the office -- and the major subplot revolves around who will control the corporation . fans of corporate intrigue will be fascinated , i'm sure . i stayed awake all the way through meet joe black , and i'm asking myself why . movies about death should encourage you to live life to the fullest , which is what i'm going to do now . go spend time with your family , go volunteer for a local charity , heck , go take a nap . don't go see meet joe black , because all it will do is move you three long hours closer to death . -- curtis edmonds " no children have ever meddled with the republican party and lived to tell about it . " -- sideshow bob

it is with some sad irony that i screened fright night part 2 on the day that one of it's stars , roddy mcdowall passed away at the age of 70 . mcdowall was one of the most talented and prolific actors in hollywood , having a career that spanned over 60 years and appearing in more than 100 films . fright night part 2 probably will not be counted among his more memorable roles . this is really sad considering how good the first fright night film was . william ragsdale and roddy mcdowall both reprised their roles as the somewhat reluctant vampire killers who seem to be the only ones that realize that vampires walk among us . ( at least in the movies anyway . ) it has been several years since charlie brewster ( ragsdale ) and b-movie actor turned late night horror film host , peter vincent ( mcdowall ) came face to face with a real live vampire who just happened to be charlie's next door neighbor . charlie and peter won that battle , but apparently even vampires have relatives who get pissed if you kill members of their family . apparently charlie's former bloodsucking next door neighbor had a sister who was none too pleased to find out that some kid and an aging actor staked her sibling . so she decides to exact a little bit of revenge . this ends up forcing charlie and peter to battle the forces of darkness yet again . one of the things that made fright night such a success was chris sarandon who played charlie's stylish next door neighbor with a taste for blood . fright night part 2 tries to duplicate that modern style but it falls sort . while they are stylish , the vamps in this film just don't have the personality of the undead in the first film . with the exception of a werewolf who adds some much needed comic relief to a few of the scenes . one bright spot , speaking from a strictly sexist point of view , is traci lin , who plays charlie's very skeptical girlfriend . it's really a shame that her career hasn't been better since she made this film . ragsdale does a fair job in this film , but doesn't give nearly the performance that he did in the original . roddy mcdowall makes the most with what he is given , which unfortunately isn't much which is a shame because his character was a lot of fun in the original movie . i guess i would have to say that the first film was a superior product in every way . the original always left you feeling danger was lurking right around the corner , part 2 had more of the feel of a music video . never a good thing for a horror film . another minus for part 2 was the traditional scenes that leave the audience on the edge of their seats waiting for something to jump out of a shadow where very rare . for that matter , they were almost nonexistent . if i was going to watch a horror film , this would be far from my first choice . the first fright night , on the other hand , would be right up near the top of my list . if i was in the mood for a roddy mcdowall film i'd probably head to the science fiction section of my local video store and rent planet of the apes . either way fright night part 2 would most likely not enter into the equation .

the " fab 4 " of ronald reagan high are four stuck-up girls , played by rose mcgowan , rebecca gayheart , julie benz and charlotte roldan , who overdress like 4 posh spice wannabes . their daily ritual is to parade up and down the school halls like royalty , and their constant reflex action is to grab their compacts so they can check their make-up and powder their cheeks . under no circumstances will they ever let themselves be seen eating in public . in writer and director darren stein's jawbreaker , it isn't as funny as it sounds . in fact , it isn't funny at all . stein has taken the black comedy of a teen movie like heathers and stripped it of any intelligence , wit or charm . his actresses toss off their lines so fast that they don't have time to add any emotion . and all of his female characters have considerably more lipstick than brains . the setup for the movie has one of the fab 4 , liz , who is referred to as " the princess di of reagan high , " be killed when a prank by the other 3 goes wrong . the princess di reference is in bad taste , as is much of the movie . granted , bad taste can sometimes be funny , but the mere presence of bad taste doesn't guarantee it . liz's girlfriends stick a jawbreaker that is literally larger than a golf ball in her mouth , tape her mouth shut , and stick her bound body in the trunk of a car . when they open the trunk later , liz is dead . they eventually put her blue and bruised body into a sexual position and make it look like liz was the victim of a brutal rape . these realistic and disgusting scenes of a dead , seminude teen have a pornographic feeling that is hard to forget and will likely turn the stomach of many a viewer . the film's dialog not only isn't funny , it's trite . one nerdy young girl introduces herself with " my name is fern mayo , as in hold the mayo . " when fern discovers what has happened , the fab 3 make her an offer she can't refuse -- make-up ! they cake it on her and welcome her to the clan . the parents in the movie brag about learning parenting skills from watching oprah . the teachers fare no better , especially in the ridiculous lines they are given . " miss shayne , please cover your bosom , " one young teacher , who has been made up to look old and ugly , says without any conviction . " this is a learning institution , not a brothel . " besides the obvious question of why this movie was ever made , there is one other question that i'd like to ask the director . why do you have a phone number start with 555 if you going to cover the rest of the number anyway ? in a cameo , pam grier plays detective vera cruz , who investigates liz's murder . as she interrogates the other people , she stares at them like they are all idiots , proving that she is the only one that gets it . i am sure that if the hard nosed detective cruz were to see this movie , she'd walk out after about 5 minutes , and you'd be well advised to do the same if you should happen to find yourself in a theater showing it . jawbreaker runs 1 : 27 . it is rated r for violence , gore , profanity and sex . i would advise everyone to avoid it , but if teenagers go they should be older and mature .

it's now the anniversary of the slayings of julie james' ( jennifer love hewitt ) best friends . still besieged by nightmarish memories of the man responsible for it all , she seems to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown . she can't concentrate on her schoolwork , can't get a good night's sleep , and is even frightened by the shadows and the blinking strobe lights at a local dance club . everywhere she looks , she sees visions of the man in a rubber slicker with the hook on his hand . in the first movie , `i know what you did last summer' , julie and three of her friends accidentally kill a man , running him down while driving down a dark mountain highway . to cover their misdeed , they dump the body into the ocean . however , he never quite died and returned to hunt down julie and her friends . julie and one other , ray ( freddie prinze jr . ) , survived only to make this dismal sequal . needing some desparate rest and relaxation , she is elated to learn that her college roommate , karla ( brandy ) , has won a trip for four to a secluded tropical island . accompanying these two girls are karla's overbearing boyfriend , tyrell ( mehki phifer ) and a potential beau for julie . but was this contest too good to be true ? the resort is filled with a skeleton staff that seemed like love boat rejects . meanwhile , the hotel is practically deserted as the storm season is about to begin . this presumably creates a venue where they will be secluded and will have no possible means off the island . eventually , they will be hunted down during power outages and chased around during intense lightning storms . as you might have guessed , somewhere in the shadows lurk a mysteriously strange figure that is wearing a rubber slicker and wielding a hook . julie tries to convince her friends that the killer is on the island ( an eerie touch is when she is singing " i will survive " at the karaoke bar and the words scroll " i still know . . . " ) , but her friends chalk it up to paranoia . but the body count soon starts to rise , and for julie , it's going to be the worst vacation of her life . the funny ( yes , i used the word 'funny' ) thing about this movie is that i heard more chortling and giggling ( maybe it was my giggling ) than i heard screaming . this movie boils down to a mindless slashfest that never conjures up any amount of wry wit or even a quirky campiness . there isn't even any suspense that leads up to the deaths . here's an appropriate example . knock-knock . " housekeeping " , says the diminuitive cleaning lady . the door suddenly opens up . slash . next victim ! is there any reason to go and see this movie ? not unless you want to see four uninteresting college kids run around in circles for about 90 minutes . but i do want to say one thing about this movie that satisfied me . i was thoroughly irritated with tyrell , who incessantly ranted and raved about his sexual libido . i secretly wished for him to get filleted . did he get 'hooked' ? well , let's just say that if he didn't , i would give this film a grade of " d " .

best remembered for his understated performance as dr . hannibal lecter in michael mann's forensics thriller , manhunter , scottish character actor brian cox brings something special to every movie he works on . usually playing a bit role in some studio schlock ( he dies halfway through the long kiss goodnight ) , he's only occasionally given something meaty and substantial to do . if you want to see some brilliant acting , check out his work as a dogged police inspector opposite frances mcdormand in ken loach's hidden agenda . cox plays the role of big john harrigan in the disturbing new indie flick l . i . e . , which lot 47 picked up at sundance when other distributors were scared to budge . big john feels the love that dares not speak its name , but he expresses it through seeking out adolescents and bringing them back to his pad . what bothered some audience members was the presentation of big john in an oddly empathetic light . he's an even-tempered , funny , robust old man who actually listens to the kids' problems ( as opposed to their parents and friends , both caught up in the high-wire act of their own confused lives . ) he'll have sex-for-pay with them only after an elaborate courtship , charming them with temptations from the grown-up world . l . i . e . stands for long island expressway , which slices through the strip malls and middle-class homes of suburbia . filmmaker michael cuesta uses it as a ( pretty transparent ) metaphor of dangerous escape for his 15-year old protagonist , howie ( paul franklin dano ) . in his opening voice-over , howie reveals a morbid preoccupation with death on the road , citing the l . i . e . highway deaths of filmmaker alan j . pakula , songwriter harry chapin , and his own mother on exit 52 . he's both fascinated and disturbed by the l . i . e . , and those feelings are projected onto big john ( who follows howie around in his bright red car , but never makes a move to force the boy to do something he doesn't want to do . this makes him much more complex than the usual child molesters seen in movies -- he's a beast , but ashamed of it . ) l . i . e . would have worked best as a half-hour short film about howie's ill-advised foray into big john's haven . there is unnecessary padding with howie's miserable dad ( bruce altman ) in the hot seat for a white-collar crime , degenerate youngsters who get their kicks from robbing middle-class houses , and some homoerotic shenanigans with wise-ass gary terrio ( billy kay ) , a handsome artful dodger . rather than add to the themes of suburban ennui ( not that we needed another movie on that subject ) , these awkward subplots pad out the running time to adequate feature length . concurrently , the relationship between howie and big john is evenly paced and exceptionally well acted . cox , sporting a baseball cap and a faded marine tattoo , is all bluff and bluster . dano is quiet and at first glance seems so withdrawn as to be transparent . we're so used to child actors whose dramatic choices are broad and obvious ( calling haley joel ! ) , it's surprising to see one who actually listens throughout any given scene . the restraint is admirable . but l . i . e . 's screenplay doesn't always give them the best material . when howie reads big john a walt whitman poem , the moment feels a bit too precious . director michael cuesta lingers on an ecstatic reaction shot of big john , who may as well be hearing glenn gould performing bach's goldberg variations . it's too much . there are also some obvious dramatic contrivances involving big john's other boy toy ( walter masterson ) , jealous over the newbie . this plot thread predictably leads to violence . not content to be a haunting , observational portrait of teen alienation in a royally screwed up world ( like terry zwigoff's superb ghost world ) , cuesta lacks the confidence in his own work to end on an ambivalent note . it's typical of unimaginative cinema to wrap things up with a bullet , sparing the writers from actually having to come up with a complex , philosophical note . in this regard , l . i . e . ( and countless other indie films ) share something in common with blockbuster action films : problems are solved when the obstacle is removed . how often does real life work this way ? to extend the question : if a movie is striving for realism , do dramatic contrivances destroy the illusion ?

running time approximately 1hr 40mins reviewed by jack choo rating : the movie starts with a rather se7en-ish opening sequence , rather cool and sets the mood for things to come . the story propels the audience into a neo-reality ; somewhat very close to conscious reality but laced with weird tinges of blue and red . existenz is actually the name of a new virtual-reality game . supposedly , vr games are highly popular as is considered a legal-drug in this neo-reality . * * * * ( leigh ) is the ultimate game creator and introduces her ultimate game-experience in the form of existenz . players are required to have bio-ports embedded in their spine , which plugs to a game-pod in order to enjoy the immersive experience . during a secretive beta-testing-cum-teaser meeting for this new game , an assassination attempt on * * * life occurs and she runs off with fellow bodyguard * * * ( law ) . * * * is more of a realists than anything else , afraid that he'll lose reality if he begin to play these games but * * * requires his help to immerse together with her into existenz to check if the program is still functioning properly after the assassination attempt . as they soon discover , they are transported between realities within existenz uncovering more than they initially expected . existenz has all the cronenberg-gore that is expected of him . even so , this film is no-where near his cult classics such as videodrome or scanners . not even half as suspenseful as the commercially successful the fly . existenz can probably be looked upon as his 90's version of videodrome , even so , it is a poor follow-up . while in most of his famed films , his penchant for gore always hit the right note with theme of the film and plot . in existenz , the gory sequences are no more attached to spirit of the film and seem to be an act of over-indulgence than anything else . jennifer jason leigh and jude law , both commendable actors , looked aloof and miss-directed throughout the entire film . the scripting and acting barely pulls the film out of the b-grade category . it was obvious that cronenberg worked on a really tight-budget and it seems that he handled that pretty well in the production design and values created for this film ( the opening sequence , though , probably formed a considerable portion of the budget ! ) which is actually quite good . existenz is too predictable and cliched in these times . 10 years ago , it would have been another classic for cronenberg . cronenberg fans however , ( those people who enjoy seeing friends getting queasy over mutilation on film ) should not give this film a miss as some form of appreciation can still be offered by you .

georges polti once wrote a paper called " the thirty-six dramatic situations , " in which he asserted the fact that all drama could be defined by no more than thirty-six different situations . this may be the modern restatement of the biblical prophecy from ecclesiastes , " there's nothing new under the sun . " the faculty , the latest movie by from dusk till dawn director robert rodriguez , certainly proves this in typical hollywood fashion . there's not a measureable fraction of original material in this unworthy outing . drawing elements from both the puppet masters and invasion of the body snatchers , screenwriter kevin williamson ( of scream 2 credit ) gives us a horror tale set in middle america ( ohio ) one eventful fall . making use of a cast of unusually stock characters , williamson designs an alien invasion that will not be done independence day-style but rather " through the back door . " parasitic aliens take over the faculty of a run-down high school and soon have infested most of the student body , leaving it up to the ensemble of principal characters to win the day . the lack of gusto is the movie's major stumbling block . even though the genre has seen movies that have a lack for quality such as this , they've been saved by an energetic approach . this casts more than a shadow of a doubt on williamson's ability , who enjoyed success with the wes craven-directed scream but couldn't pull anything solid in for this outing or i know what you did last summer . although he designs the faculty with more of a sci-fi bent than his typical slasher picture , it still comes down to the same results : throw the stock characters in a steel cage match and see who comes out alive . on that level , the main roles are played by virtual unknowns . only the recognizeable elijah wood ( deep impact ) is at the front ; other than that , the screen veterans are saved for the minor roles of the alien teachers . perhaps williamson has it in mind to champion these up-and-comers to the fame that their scream and last summer counterparts achieved ; but to do that , they'd all need to star in their own wb television show about the horrors of puberty a la " dawson's creek . " needless to say the acting is far from top notch , nor does necessity ask that it should be . there is a moment or two of genuine horror , but unfortunately williamson and rodriguez did not take the story far enough in the sci-fi direction to make any use of it . in sum , the faculty was just one long shot that did not pay off .

a friend invites you to a movie . this film would evade the explosions and special effects of standard summer fare , and be grounded in reality . the plot is as follows : after a terrifying incident , a mother and her independent daughter separate from the father and move away from the city . they need fresh air to get some perspective , maybe to start over . romance begins to brew , however , as one of the locals , played by an international superstar in rugged clothing , sparks things up , ( especially at a country-western slow dance ) . it stars a rising young starlet , helms a good cast , and is directed by one of the better actor-turned-directors in hollywood . you accept . you jump at the opportunity to see , what you believe to be , _the horse whisperer_ . but , poor moviegoer , you have been conned . alas , you find yourself watching , incredulously , _hope floats_ . oh , woe . your hope has sunk . why was this movie made ? why was it released ? it is a travesty on nearly every level , and has the authority to sink the careers of nearly everyone involved . at the hands of a better script , the film could have been a gem . but it is clueless as to what it is about , and only succeeds in transferring same cluelessness to us poor viewers . _hope floats_ stars sandra bullock as birdy , who , after discovering her husband has been cheating on her with her best friend ( on national television no less ) , takes her daughter and drives back to her home , helmed by a countryish bumpkin eccentric played by gena rowlands , ( she decorates with stuffed wildlife ) . birdy's nephew , travis ( played by _leave it to beaver_'s cameron finley ) , is under her custody , and in one of the film's many failed in-jokes , is always seen wearing a different halloween costume . what is the point of this ? does it make any sense ? is it supposed to be funny ? the point of the film is to show that the family is eccentric , but i was convinced that the grandma should have been locked up for endangering the mental welfare of a child . all of this undercuts the plot , of which there is none . there are only many scenes that are supposed to register emotion . there's the scene where birdy , who used to be the prom queen , is humbled by approaching a peer she once mocked , for a job . there's the scene where birdy dances with her father , in the hospital for alzheimer's . and then there's the sentimental scenes with justin , played by harry connick jr . , who is taking a liking to her again , showing her a beautiful pad that he built from scratch . and during each of these scenes , i was sidetracked by my earlier question . what sort of eccentric grandmother go through such great pains as to provide a dog costume , a kermit costume , a cowboy costume ( with whip ) , and a full furred barney costume for her grandson to wear during dinner ? what sort of warped ramifications would this lead for the rest of his life ? outside of this , there are other sure signs of screenwriters block . when the daughter stands up to the bully at school . when birdy almost loses her job . when the family pulls in a goofy lip-synch to cheer someone up . when someone dies . when the daughter cries , ( no , wails ) in exasperation that her father is not coming back . in a movie like this , you notice the strings being pushed , and you sit there , comatose , hoping it will end . who can survive such a debacle ? i worry for bullock's career , which has been running on auto-pilot for the last few years . she has an attitude , a solid perkiness , and can drive a bus--but she can't handle the emotional scenes , much less hold a southern accent . harry connick , jr . is worse--stick with singing , or get some acting lessons , please ! gena rowlands is the best part of the film . but she's such a good actress , that it staggers the mind that she's weighed down by such lukewarm material here . it would be a severe tragedy if the recurring star of john cassavettes' great films is known for this film . two notes to forest whittaker : ( 1 ) cut the slow-motion sequences . there are twelve times where you undercut your own direction by such a failed trick . have you done so , you could have shaved off ten-minutes of this almost unbearable debacle . ( 2 ) you've had to know something was wrong if your cinematographer's filter makes the candlelight appear like little " x " s . you're not a bad director , but you can't change a terrible script . there's a recurring scene where birdy , working at the neighborhood fotomat , finds the machine go wrong , and image after destroyed , warped , dark image appear . think about it . a succession of destroyed images may have been more entertaining than this movie .

when i arrived in paris in june , 1992 , i was surprised to find france plastered with posters twin peaks : fire walk with me , since the movie wasn't scheduled to open in the u . s . until late august . happily , the film--the prequel to david lynch's cult television series--was playing in a fancy , thx theater . unfortunately , the theater was far more impressive than the movie , which absolutely stinks , much like a french lavatory . worse , actually . fire walk with me ( directed by lynch ) will be completely incomprehensible to anyone who has not seen the tv series or read " laura palmer's secret diary . " for " twin peaks " junkies , like me , the movie is only marginally improved . the plot is jumbled and illogical , not to mention excruciatingly sluggish . the first 30 minutes , which have almost nothing to do with the main story line , feature chris isaak and kiefer sutherland as fbi agents investigating a murder in portland , oregon . the movie then stops in philadelphia for a nonsensical cameo by david bowie and a brief appearance by kyle maclachlan as dale cooper . lynch then drops this plot strand altogether and abruptly shifts the setting to twin peaks , washington--one year later . ah , twin peaks : " familiar territory , " you think to yourself as angelo badalamenti's distinctive musical score chimes in . wrong ! the movie proves that you really can't go home again , or at least lynch can't . only about a quarter of the characters from the tv series appear in the movie : leland palmer , bobby briggs , james , shelly , leo , the log lady and a few others--mostly in meaningless cameos . the rest of the " twin peaks " cast is nowhere to be seen , and consequently , lynch fails to recreate the spirit and flavor of tv's most enigmatic town . cast members michael ontkean , sherilyn fenn , piper laurie , and richard beymer are sorely missed , not to mention lara flynn boyle , who has been replaced by lackluster moira kelly in the crucial role of donna . the movie concentrates solely on laura palmer ( sheryl lee ) as she suffers through drug abuse , prostitution , and incest , during her miserable last seven days on earth . the night of laura's death , which is truly terrifying , is the film's only remotely effective sequence . we finally get to see exactly what happened to laura after she jumped off james' motorcycle and ran into the woods at that lonely traffic light in the middle of nowhere . her murder unfolds just as agent cooper reconstructed it in the tv series , which is gratifying for faithful " twin peaks " viewers . but it's an awfully small reward for sitting through a painfully awful movie .

" the red violin " is a cold , sterile feature that leaves you uninvolved and detached . it's a movie that seems almost clinical , as it traces the 300-plus-years history of the legendary musical instrument of the title . opening in the 17th century , the story shows how violin-maker nicolo bussotti created the instrument as a gift for his unborn son . but when tragedy strikes , the violin becomes the personification of its maker's grief . from there the violin comes into the hands of an orphaned child prodigy at an austrian monastery . again , tragedy strikes as the child is struck down at the moment of his triumph . we follow the violin through the centuries as it finds a home in england and in mao's communist china before being discovered by expert charles morritz ( samuel l . jackson ) , who mounts a painstaking investigation to prove its authenticity . the violin becomes morritz's obsession , just as it is for all those who converge on a montreal auction house to bid on it . morritz , however , is the only one who knows the secret of the instrument and can understand and appreciate its creator's intention . " the red violin " could have been a touching , inspirational story , as soaring as a beethoven symphony . however director francois girard fails to make any emotional connection with the viewer . here is a story that could have made use of various camera angles and lighting to heighten its impact . girard , for some unknown reason , uses mostly master shots , keeping his camera - and thus us - at a distance . we get no feel for the miracle that is the violin . it's resonance , its purity of sound are not emphasized enough to make an impression . nor are any of the performances memorable . it's as if girard wanted all his actors to play second fiddle to his violin . " the red violin " promises much , but delivers little . it is dull at times , a bit pretentious and a might murky . the movie's music soars over its story and performers . and that is its only saving grace .

in the wake of the smashing success of " rumble in the bronx , " it's looking more and more likely that more jackie chan films will see american release . rumor has it that one of these films will be drunken master ii . the version i have is a copy from the laserdisc ; it's widescreen and bilingually-subtitled , as are most hong kong films these days . availability over here in the united states is very limited ; these films must either be purchased via pirates or sought out from asian distributors such as tai seng . the subtitling on the copy i have is slightly hard to read ; the letters are white and a bit small . although the american release will almost certainly be dubbed , this review is of the subtitled version , so please keep that in mind if you're reading this review to help you decide whether to go out and see it . to be fair , i must admit that i've never been very fond of " period-piece " martial arts movies--the ones set in some nebulous china of the distant or not so distant past . perhaps it's because most of those i've seen were filmed on inferior stock , with either butchered dubbing or all-but-illegible subtitling , or perhaps it's because their plots all tend to be very similar to each other and , in many cases , all but nonexistant . in fact , many of them get so wrapped up in their subplots that they seem to forget their main plot entirely until only a few minutes before the end . or , for that matter , it might be because the jackie chan films with more modern settings ( armour of god , rumble in the bronx , etc . ) tend to have more spectacular stunts , often involving large motor vehicles and large explosions , whereas period pieces simply have the martial arts . having said that , i must now turn right around and say that drunken master ii is a remarkable exception to all or most of the above , is one of the better martial arts films i've seen , and i quite enjoyed it . surprised ? well , so was i . drunken master ii is about a young man named wong fei-hong ( played by jackie chan ) who is a master of the drunken boxing style of kung fu . where he learned this style is uncertain , as his father , wong kei-ying ( ti lung ) is steadfast in his opposition to fei-hong's practicing it rather than some more normal style of kung fu . apparently , fei-hong is some sort of figure from chinese folklore , rather like paul bunyan is for americans , but i've heard very little about this , and could quite well be wrong , so i'll leave analysis of that to the people who know it better . one of my friends points out that the character of wong fei-hong is also featured in the " once upon a time in china " movies , but i have not yet seen those . the plot of drunken master ii is somewhat hazy , as are the plots to many such films , but if you're watching a jackie chan film , odds are you aren't expecting something on the order of " war and peace " . the story seems to revolve around those evil foreigners who are spiriting away ancient chinese relics ( and hence , china's cultural heritage ) while overworking , underpaying , and beating up chinese workers in a nearby steel mill . however , this plot merely serves as a framework for the other main story of the film--fei-hong's perpetual struggle to win his girlfriend , supplicate his father , keep his ( pregnant ) mother ( played by anita mui ) from fighting , and keep from getting beaten up by evil foreigner thugs . the macguffin that drives the plot ( s ) is a precious antique jade imperial seal which is being taken away by the evil foreigners . in the beginning , fei-hong accidentally steals it while trying to recover an identically-wrapped box containing the medicinal ginseng his father was bringing back for a customer . in the process , he clashes with another thief , who is himself trying for the seal but ends up instead with the ginseng . after fei-hong narrowly avoids getting caught with the seal by the evil foreigners' lackies , thanks to some timely intervention by a general's son ( a cameo appearance by andy lau , who would later take on the starring role in drunken master iii ! ) , comedic chaos ensues back at the wong household when fei-hong and his mother attempt to come up with a replacement for the missing ginseng . and so it goes . and the plot thickens later on , such as when fei-hong's girlfriend maneuvers him into a kung fu match with a rival , or when fei-hong and the thief , now revealed to be a loyalist manchu officer trying to recover the seal and stop the evil foreigners , are attacked en masse ( another grand kung-fu movie tradition ) , but i think i've already spent more time on the plot than it really deserves . let's move on to the real draw of jackie chan movies . . . the action . there's plenty of martial arts action to be found in this movie . . . of course , in a kung fu film , that's to be expected . however , this isn't just another kung fu movie ; this one has jackie chan doing the fight and stunt choreography , and jackie chan is a genius . the primary martial arts " style " featured in the film is drunken boxing , a form of kung fu which attempts to draw the adversary off his guard by making it seem like the fellow using it is drunk . further , for the purposes of this film at least , drunken boxers fight better when they actually _are_ intoxicated . . . but there's a fine line between just drunk enough and drunk into a stupor . under normal circumstances , the idea of someone staggering around looking sloshed but managing to fight effectively and even incredibly might seem rather stupid , but jackie pulls it off with flair . the kung fu sequences are so intricate in their staging and execution that it is pointless to try to describe it on paper , so i'll just say that the fights--especially the big climactic fight at the end--in themselves make the movie worth watching . another thing drunken master ii has going for it is the stunt work . even without motor vehicles ( well , not counting a train ) , there are some remarkable stunts in this film . among other things , jackie dives off a balcony into a table and crawls across hot coals ( not once , but at _least_ twice , if you count the outtake shown during the credits ) . ( quicktime movies of these stunts can be found through the www movie database . ) unlike in american films , these stunts are _not_ faked . drunken master ii stars several veteran actors of the hong kong movie scene , including jackie , ti lung ( " a better tomorrow " 1 & 2 ) , and anita mui ( the " heroic trio " series , " rumble in the bronx " ) . the performances are first-rate , especially when it comes to the comedy parts of the film . the scene where fei-hong and his mother conspire literally behind fei-hong's father's back to cover up for the missing ginseng root is hilarious , as is the scene where fei-hong's mother , having just revealed that she is pregnant , is threatening to hurt herself ( in order to draw her husband's anger away from fei-hong ) . jackie has developed his knack for physical comedy into a sort of mastery over the years , and he's in fine form all through drunken master ii . as far as cinematography is concerned , it certainly works for this film . it's nothing spectacular , but is at least a dozen times better than all those old kung fu movies of the 70s . the picture is crisp and clear . one thing i find particularly worthy of mention is that , at least in the copy i have , the screen was wider than any film i've ever seen on videotape before--almost a whole 1/3 of the screen was blocked out above and below . ( watch this on a bigscreen tv or movie theater if you can . ) it will be an utter shame if this film is eventually pan-and-scanned for american video release . drunken master ii shows the full potential of " period piece " kung fu movies , and it's good enough to overcome even my usual distaste for such movies . the plot does meander a bit , but that's to be expected in this type of film . if you like this kind of movie , you'll love this movie , and if not , well , give it a chance anyway . if nothing else , the martial arts and stunt sequences are by themselves worth the price of admission or rental .

" seven " is one of the best mystery movies i've ever seen . it's extremely intriguing and suspenseful , but it's also quite fun . it's a serial killer mystery , but you don't care so much about making the killer pay as much as hope they just catch the killer . the story is a cops-on-the-trail-of-serial-killer mystery . someone is murdering people who are offenders of " the seven deadly sins . " a fat man ( gluttony ) was forced to eat himself to death , a lawyer ( greed ) is slaughtered by his own rich possessions . . . i could go on but revealing any more would give away entirely too much . what makes this film so unique is the characterization of the " good guys " which makes the unseen villain seem so vile . brad pitt stars is quite excellent as detective david mills , the cocky rookie . however , morgan freeman is even better as detective william sommerset , the wise veteran on the verge of retirement ( and he doesn't get killed by the end ) . there is a great sense of camaraderie here which often provides for a breath of comic relief . this is impressive because the mood is so tense , and the fact that it can be down-played as well as it is here ( let alone at all ) is quite an accomplishment . the setting takes place in present day new york city but the art direction is able to give the city a feeling of the evil , scary place many believe it to be . the production design is superb , in the spirit of " batman " and " the crow , " this film embodies the gothic mood . the way the words fade in and out , along with the freaky nine inch nails music really add a lot to the story on a subconscious level - even the credits are scary ! the killer's victims have no connections at all , and thus mills and sommerset don't have much to go on to solve the case . they can only wait for the next murder to occur which makes for tremendous suspense . we become just as tense and worried as the detectives because of this thick atmosphere of the unknown . not that many films have such an interesting and intriguing screenplay as this . the only problem i had with the film is the way in which mills and sommerset are lead to a suspect . let's just say it seems a little too " mystery movie , " or too convenient in other words . when they are led to a suspect by the name of john doe , a terrific chase scene ensues . this is a typical thrilling element , but it works perfectly here because of the process of the story . if anything , this film is the epitome of twist endings . i don't have to tell you mills and sommerset finally catch the criminal , but the way in which this happens is surprising . there is a scene of intriguing philosophy between the killer and the detectives , and even though he's obviously insane , his charisma makes for some good points . what's even more surprising is the last few scenes themselves as the suspense comes to a terrific climax as the film's resolution comes down to a question of what justice really is . " seven " is not just a film about crime , but about the evil within man . john doe felt he was doing society a favor by ridding it of " scum . " but as justified as he makes himself seem , we must never be tempted by such twisted ideals of justice .

capsule : liebes meets tod . this was a film about sex and death . a morgue attendant accidentally revives a dead woman through necrophilia and brings her into his world which is heavy on orgies . this film says something obscure about the relationship of sex and death , but imparts no insights . to make matter worse this print was poorly subtitled into english from french . 0 ( -4 to +4 ) - an attractive 18-year-old dies on a disco floor and gets sent to a morgue . one of the attendants , ben ( jean-marc barr ) is so attracted by her that he attempts necrophilia . we see him crawling away after a shock . in the middle of sex the dead teen has come back to life . - the morgue attendant was just adding a new form of sex to his collection of kinks . he was already part of a group that gets together for s/m sex . the revived teen , teresa ( elodie bouchez ) joins them . - moral dilemma of teresa's father . ben has abused his daughter's body , but in doing so has saved her life . - part of this opaque allegory is a man saved from suicide who joins in the sexual hijinx . also involved is a man in the final stages of dying of aids , a close friend of the morgue attendant . he does not get involved in the orgies . - the subtitles of our print were white , often on a white background making them often hard to read , but i don't think there was a whole lot of meaning there that was lost . - the title means " don't let me die on a sunday . "

" if there's a beast in men , it meets its match in women , too . " starring sarah patterson , angela lansbury , tusse silberg , david warner directed by neil jordan written by jordan and angela carter , from a story by carter cinematography by bryan loftus in recent years , there has been a trend in the field of fantasy : writers have been revisiting the fertile world of myth and fairy tale and reclaiming that world , investing it with new life and energy . in modern times , fairy tales have become disneyfied and debased ; they have become trite adventures involving leering witches , friendly dwarves , and cuddly talking animals . but in their original forms , fairy tales have a dark , wicked edge . crows tear out the eyes of cinderella's sisters , a gorier fate then they receive in the animated version . hansel and gretel relish cooking the witch in her own oven . writers have become fascinated by the bloodier , morally ambivalent aspects of fairy tales , and are now modernizing the old stories while simultaneously going back to their roots . before this trend was in vogue , angela carter--whose stories always have a dark , wicked , subversive edge--had been reinventing fairy tales for years . in the company of wolves , she and neil jordan retell the story of red riding hood , enlivening it with werewolves , rolls royces , and a visit from satan . the story is structured as a dream , occurring in the mind of rosaleen ( sarah patterson ) , an adolescent girl about whose 'real' life we learn very little . within the dream , there are a number of inset stories , most told by dream-rosaleen's grandmother ( angela lansbury ) , and these tales gloss the central story in intriguing , suggestive ways . the result is a surprisingly successful example of a sinister , contemporary fairy tale . i say " surprisingly " because there are so many ways this film could have gone wrong . and there are ways in which it does . the performances are mediocre , except for lansbury's--she finds the right note for the prim , apple-cheeked granny , the wise and stern teller of cautionary tales . the soundtrack , synth-heavy , reminded me of bad 80s horror movies , as did the special effects in the shapechanging scenes . probably state-of-the-art at the time , they are now laughable . but jordan succeeds at what i consider the trickiest aspect of the film : he transcends the poor acting/music/effects and conveys a sense of the fantastic , of otherness . one of the problems in adapting full-blown fantasies is that fantasy is often best left to the imagination of the reader , rather than being subjected to the 'realism' of the screen . part of me would love to see an adaptation of 'the lord of the rings , ' but , on the other hand , i know that any filmmaker's recreation of ents , hobbits , and balrogs is inevitably going to be really lame compared to what i picture in my mind . this makes jordan's accomplishment here seem mighty impressive to me : he imbues the company of wolves with a genuine sense of magic and mystery . the somewhat ruritanian dreamworld becomes a kind of ur-reality . the sunshine is exceptionally warm and abundant . the nights are quiet and misty and eerie and ghostly . the peasant village is rustic and cozy , the woods old and hoary . this archetypal realm is the setting for a smart , subtle , literate script , a script which is as good as you'd expect from jordan ( himself an accomplished fiction writer ) and carter . for carter , the cauldron of story is a witches' brew , bubbling over with primal ingredients : mist-shrouded forests , ancient graveyards , virginal girls and wise women , wolves with glowing eyes . she adeptly blends them all together . there is a symbolic richness to the film ; everything is permeated with a sense of significance . the point of it all , i think , is to represent a girl's rites-of-passage on an unconscious , primordial level . a night-journey through the forest , from the village to the grandmother's home , is the crux of the company of wolves . " don't stray from the path , " rosaleen is told , again and again , and the path is both literal and figurative : the path through the forest and the path of life . staying on the path is the conventional approach suggested by rosaleen's elders . carter and jordan , never conventional , explore what goes on when you leave the path . those who stray will supposedly meet with a dark fate . this fate is literalized in the dream as werewolves , but the werewolves connote many things : death , sex , knowledge . if straying from the path leads to death , then it's not a good idea--but if that's what you have to risk to get sex and knowledge ( and therefore power ) , then maybe it's worth the risk . when you leave the path , the world becomes a dangerous , ambiguous place , but it's full of potential . and it's certainly more interesting than the disney version .

a wonderful little movie that is really interested in its characters and in its theme . the scene of " second best " is laid in wales . james ( chris cleary miles ) is a 10-year-old boy who must live in a home because his father ( keith allen ) is in prison and his mother committed suicide . james is a mentally unbalanced child . he can't forget what happened in the past , and he dreams of living a happy life with his beloved father . in the home he feels sadly and lonely . one day , a social worker ( alan cumming ) tells him of a person who wants to adopt him . this person is graham holt ( william hurt ) . graham manages a post office and shop in a village . he is a single and hasn't any real friends . his mother is dead , and his father is ill and will die . graham feels that he has been a disappointment to his parents . there has never been real love between his parents and him . graham's monotonous life would get a new sense if he could adopt james . but graham has not only to convince the institutions , but must also win the love of james . james and graham have to open theirselves . they must get to know each other and learn to understand and trust the other person . james and graham aid each other to cope with their problems . but will their relationship really have a future ? " second best " is based on a novel by david cook who also wrote the screenplay . the film was directed by chris menges who had made his directing debut with the very good anti-apartheid drama " a world apart " ( 1987/88 ) . and maybe , " second best " is even a greater picture . this precise , richly detailed , sensitively and convincingly directed study about a special adoption treats its theme with great seriousness . the breathtakingly intense film shows the necessity of human contact and communication . william hurt delivers an outstanding performance as graham holt . and chris cleary miles is remarkably convincing in the role of the boy . the supporting cast is also fine ( especially jane horrocks as debbie , a social worker who is charged to examine graham's living circumstances ) . " second best " is an underestimated masterpiece . it's a pity that films like this one are made so seldom . i eagerly await menges' next directorial work , " the lost son " , which will star daniel auteuil .

if you're the type of person who goes on the submarine ride every time you visit disneyland , you're going to love the hunt for red october . you'll also love the film if you enjoy cat and mouse military tactics , or if you're a sean connery or alec baldwin fan , or if you admired director john mctiernan's earlier films , die hard and predator . in fact , the only people likely to be disappointed with the hunt for red october are those who have read the book , since films almost never live up to the novels which inspired them . the hunt for red october is an epic thriller , adapted from tom clancy's best selling novel . set in an era before glasnost , the movie revolves around a top-secret soviet submarine , called the red october . the nuclear sub has a revolutionary propulsion system , which makes the vessel silent and allows it to escape sonar detection . the red october embarks on its maiden voyage under the command of captain marko ramius , played by sean connery . ramius has strict orders just to test the submarine , but he has other ideas . he takes the sub and its crew and disappears into the atlantic ocean . is he planning to start world war iii ? cia analyst jack ryan doesn't think so ; he's convinced that ramius plans to defect to the u . s . ryan , played by alec baldwin , is given three days to prove his theory and find the missing sub . the characters in the hunt for red october are paper thin , but the performances , thankfully , are rock solid . baldwin and connery anchor the film with their customary vigor . sam neil gives a sturdy performance as connery's somber first officer . it's ironic to see neil and connery playing russians , since they are both best known for their roles as british agents , connery as james bond and neil as reilly , " ace of spies . " the large cast also includes scott glenn , james earl jones , tim curry , and joss ackland , plus richard jordan as the smooth u . s . national security adviser . the special effects are remarkable , but more than anything , the hunt for red october is distinguished by its water-tight plot . screenwriters larry ferguson and donald stewart have gracefully navigated red october through a story line full of twists and turns . they keep us involved in the action by unveiling plot strands at just the right moment . the movie doesn't get as sweaty or breathless as die hard , because it would rather tell a good story than hit you over the head with non-stop action . the finale is rousing and suspenseful , but essentially , the hunt for red october is a superior potboiler .

part buddy comedy , part fish-out-of-water story , part nature tale , meet the deedles is not nearly as interesting as any of those archetypes . in fact , it is an invitation you ought to disregard . phil and stew deedle ( paul walker and steve van wormer ) are the twin sons of the famous millionaire , elton deedle ( eric braeden ) , founder of deedle enterprises . elton wants his sons to be the perfect heirs to his fortune . . . instead the two are careless hawaiian surf bums . to set them straight , he enrolls them into a strict wyoming boot camp , to which the pair inevitably go . after several misadventures in wyoming , where the duo is stunned to discover there's no surf , the brothers deedle stumble upon a routine mistaken identity plot . they arrive at yellowstone national park , where they are believed to be two new park ranger recruits . rather than slinking back home and disappointing their dad , the deedles play along . phil , actually , has other motives : the beautiful park ranger jesse ( a . j . langer ) , who unfortunately happens to be the beloved stepdaughter of the overprotective park ranger captain douglas pine ( john ashton ) . yellowstone has a problem . it's only a week before the famous geyser old faithful celebrates its one billionth birthday , and the park is being overrun with prairie dogs . not just one or two . . . thousands of them . the deedles are assigned to eliminate the p . dog menace , not knowing that it all is part of a fiendish plan by disgraced former head ranger frank slater ( dennis hopper ) . the brothers deedle aren't supposed to be out-and-out stupid , like the team from dumb and dumber , or bill and ted . instead , their brains just operate in a different , simpler , realm . a more accurate comparison would be with carrot top in chairman of the board , a film which , unfortunately , this one resembles in several hideous ways . the central problem with meet the deedles is that it simply just isn't funny . there's a moment when phil utters the line , " insert laugh here " , which nearly sums up the entire meet the deedles experience . the result isn't bad in a run-shrieking-from-the-theater type of way . instead , it's merely bad in an excruciatingly boring sort of way . the cast seems decent , but they're never asked to do anything remotely interesting . instead , the film inundates the audience with countless shots of people and/or cars rolling downhill in the forest , and with constant annoying references to other disney films . you'll have much better luck finding a good spot to surf in wyoming than finding entertainment in meet the deedles .

recently i read 4 reviews of pleasantville-one from entertainment weekly , one from a newsgroup , and two from different online resources . each review compared this film to the truman show . why ? the only reason people compared pleasantville to truman is due to the fact that their lives are on television . other than that , the two movies are completely different from each other . reviewers seem to love to pick one movie ( i . e . the truman show ) , obsess over it , and make it a guideline for other movies . when pleasantville and edtv opened , all critics seemed to treat the two films like they were subjects of king truman . the same goes for the thin red line , as well . when it opened in decemeber , probably 98% of reviews compared it to stephen spielberg's saving private ryan , giving thin line no chance whatsoever . critics loved private ryan so much , that they automatically decided no movie is good enough to reach its standards . this is why i think pleasantville was underrated . if the truman show had never been made , pleasantville probably would have received better reviews , done better at the box office , and would be remembered after it's long been on the video store shelves . sure , it wasn't perfect , and it wasn't very believeable , but neither was the wizard of oz or star wars , and there stands two of the most prominent movies in history . with the exception of don knotts as the annoying " tv repairman " the film is cast perfectly : the ice storm's tobey maguire is david in real life ; he watches the old 50's sitcom " pleasantville " to escape from his feuding parents . his twin sister , jen ( reese witherspoon ) is a popular slut who ( steriotypically ) smokes and wears revealing clothes . but what makes her character believeable is the dialogue-those excessive 90's terms such as " like " , " whatever " , and " cool " make her sound like the total dimwit she's supposed to be . the twins , with a little help from a tv repairman ( casting don knotts in this role was obviously a cameo-esque cast rather than a true acting one ) , are sucked into pleasantville by a magical new remote . their new parents , played by william h . macy and joan allen , are perfect in every way . their new names are bud and mary sue , and right away they start to corrupt the town of pleasantville . after the siblings fit comfortably in their new roles , the movie begins to take form . it's just like watching a sitcom in itself ; you don't want it to end . " mary sue " has sex with her date , the school basketball champion ; when he tells all his friends about it , they stop preforming perfectly at basketball , and things start to take color . soon we learn that these people don't know how to express true emotions , and when they learn to do so , they eventually turn into color . this eventually sparks a racial war between the " coloreds " and the " black & whites . " entertainment weekly reviewer lisa schwarzbaum claims the movie has , " none of the depth , poignance , and brilliance of the truman show . . . " yes , the truman show was maybe a little more intelligent . but the racial setting-intensified by the forcing of the coloreds to sit in the upper box of the courtroom-certainly classifies as deep , considering it's what i least expected . gary ross did not try to create an intelligent , award masterpiece-he just tries to convey moral messages within his work . take for example big and dave , his past films . big-be careful what you wish for . dave-good or bad lying is still lying . did these movies win big awards ? no , but they won the heart of millions . pleasantville could have done that too , if it wasn't for snotty reviewers who set precedents with preceeding films . pleasantville : a- ad2am " i almost lost my nose . . . and i like it . i like breathing through it . " -jack nicholson , chinatown

when i first heard that kevin costner was making a movie called " the postman , " i thought , " an american version of 'il postino ? ' starring costner ? god help us ! " when i found out that it was not a remake of " postino " but an postapocalyptic epic , i thought , " 'landworld ? ' please , god , make him stop ! " as it turns out , " the postman " is a much better film than i had expected . despite being set in 2013 , the movie is , at heart , a western : a band of thugs terrorizes peaceful villagers ; a wandering hero opposes the bandits and inspires others to fight back . the setting , however , allows that familiar plot to take on greater significance : american society has collapsed due to plagues and wars , and survivors live behind barracades in isolated villages . the struggle of a dead society to be reborn has a grand quality and deserves the epic scale costner grants it . costner's nameless character , a wandering actor , rides in from the vast wasteland and is soon shanghaied into the service of general bethlehem ( will patton ) , a former copy-machine salesman turned bandit king . our hero escapes and discovers the body of a dead postman . taking the uniform and bag of mail , he passes himself off as a representative of " the restored united states . " he is shocked at the hope that he inspires in the people he meets . one young disciple , ford lincoln mercury ( larenz tate ) , organizes a full-scale postal service . ford spreads the postman's message of hope until bethlehem finds that the once-meek villagers are beginning to resist his rule . as war breaks out between bethlehem's army and the postal workers , costner's character steps into the legend he created and goes from self-centered loner to leader of the revolution . his lie of the restored united states becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy . " postman " is an odd blend of a bleak setting and a message of wide-eyed optimism ( sort of " sergio leone meets frank capra " ) , but its treatment of hope and renewal is compelling . what could have been another knock-off of " the road warrior " ( like " waterworld " was ) surprises the viewer with a sensitively told story of nobility emerging from rubble . tate is the stand-out in the movie's large cast . ford lincoln mercury ( self-named ) is the polar opposite of o-dog , tate's character in his debut film , " menace ii society " ( 1993 ) , and tate makes ford's innocent belief in hope as convincing as o-dog's cynicism and brutality . his performance sells the movie . interestingly , as tate moves from his usual street-smart roles to youthful optimism , the soft-eyed patton , who usually plays nice guys , proves a disarming villain . olivia williams makes her film debut as the postman's love interest , abby . when they first meet , abby asks him to father her child because her husband is sterile . predictably , the husband is soon eliminated by the bandits , and abby is thrown back into the company of the hero . however , their relationship develops slowly as the emotional conflicts of both characters are explored ( she , torn by grief , guilt , and anger ; he , resisting his destiny ) . " the postman " is costner's best work thus far . perhaps that alone gives us hope for the future . . .

felix ( sami bouajila , " the siege " ) lives a contented life with his boyfriend daniel ( pierre-loup rajot ) in the little town of dieppe in northern france . when he is laid off from his job , after discovering the address of the father who abandoned him before he was born , he decides to journey to marseilles , in the south , to find the man he never met in " the adventures of felix . " writers/directors olivier ducastel and jacques martineau made their debut with the musical comedy " jeanne and the perfect guy , " embracing that typically american genre . their second effort , " the adventures of felix , " once again borrows from america with a tale of a young man who hits the road to find himself . felix is happy with his life in dieppe , but when the ferry company he works for falls prey to the economics of the chunnel , he is out of a job and at loose ends . when he goes through his late mother's papers he learns that the father he never knew is living in marseilles , hundreds of miles away . felix makes the snap decision to journey to the south , puts together a supply of " cocktails " for his hiv virus , kisses daniel goodbye and heads off on foot . he refuses to use trains and wants to avoid big cities as he hitchhikes across france to find his destiny . along the way , a series of chance encounters with various strangers teaches felix that family is not always made up of blood relations . on the road , he witnesses a race-related mugging that turns into murder and , frightened for his own safety , runs away without telling the police . following this harrowing experience , he has his first chance meeting that begins the unconscious construction of his ideal family . his journey brings him to rouen , and the film's first title section , " my little brother , " where he meets jules , a young art student who becomes smitten with felix . they steal a car and develop a chaste , brotherly affection before felix must move on . he next meets elderly mathilde ( patachou ) , in the chapter titled " my grandmother , " and soon learns that she , too , has a fondness for the same tv soap opera that felix has grown addicted to . she wants him to stay with her , but he must continue on his way to find his father . in the weakest chapter of felix's road trip , titled " my cousin , " he meets a railroad worker ( philippe garziano ) and has a brief sexual encounter before heading off , once again , toward marseilles . he next helps a stranded lady motorist , isabelle ( ariane ascaride ) , and shags a ride with her and her three kids ( each with a different daddy ) in the sequence titled " my sister . " he is torn by the inner turmoil of not going to the police about the murder he witnessed and isabelle comforts him just as a sister would . on the final leg of the journey titled " my father , " he meets an older man , a fisherman ( maurice benichou ) , who enlightens him about the real facts of life and family while they fly felix's kite , just like a father and son . " the adventures of felix " has a number of things going for it as we follow felix on his journey of discovery . first and foremost is the charming performance by sami bouajila as felix . he is a likable guy , fighting his hiv with his doses of " cocktails , " and lights up the screen as he makes the long walk , often with dance and song , to find his father and himself . as he encounters each member of his new family , promising each that he will send a postcard when he arrives at his final destination , he grows a little bit more spiritually and emotionally . bouajila does a terrific job holding center stage on the screen . the cast of characters making up felix's new-found family are nearly as charming as the star , each in their own way . patachou , especially , is wonderful as the grandma character and a kindred spirit to felix . ariane ascaride , along with her kids , gives a perf that really makes you think of her as the sister that the young man never had . only the " cousin " chapter lacks the emotional depth of the rest and feels like a perfunctory addition to felix's " family . " " the adventures of felix " does not reinvent the road movie , but it does provide a charismatic telling of a young man's journey to find himself and , to his surprise , his discovery is dramatically different than he expected at the beginning . it helps that cinematographer matthieu poirot-delpech's crisp lensing compliments the story perfectly as felix moves across the french countryside . i give it a b+ .

contrary to the title , " the boxer " is not another rocky story only this time spliced with some cold hard politics . it's actually three movies in one : a political film , a boxing film , and a love story . all of these work in their own respects and have some pretty decent balancing betwixt the three elements of the story , but somehow it seems kind of cliched and unoriginal . we've seen it all before , and we're just not blown away with it like we should be . oh well . it's still an excellent irish story . " the boxer " of the title is danny flynn ( jim sheridan staple daniel day-lewis ) , an ex-ira member who gets out of a belfast prison after 14 years , and finds out that his troubles are far from over . first off , the ira is having a small civil war between its leader joe hamill ( brian cox ) , and one of its sub-leaders , harry ( gerard mcsorley ) , both having opposing views on getting many of their members out of jail . while this is going on , danny and his old drunkard buddie , ike ( ken stott , who played the chief inspector in danny boyle's " shallow grave " ) , re-open an old gym which allows the two opposing religios sects , protestant and catholics , to work together . danny not only begins teaching kids how to box , but has stayed in great shape whilst in prison , and is ready to start boxing real people again . and danny runs into his ex-love , maggie ( " breaking the waves " 's emily watson ) , who hasn't seen him since he went in . they don't easily start up their romance again because she's the wife of a prisoner whom she married during danny's tenure in prison , and also has a son , liam ( ciaran fitzgerald ) , from him , whom liam is hoping will get out soon . but the two are slowly re-drawn to eachother again , and this begins to complicate things . the political story is nothing really special but works in itself . we've seen it many a time before , but it's at least interesting , sometimes emotional , and even riveting at times . there's a big riot towards the middle of the film which is frightening in its brutality and honesty . the boxing story is very minor to the story , but does represent people coming together to fight eachother fairly , and even with good sportsmanship . there are only a few boxing scenes , but they're never like " raging bull " /let's-strip-down-the-sport-to-its-bones brilliant . they're more realistic , and instead of bone crunching , we hear the sound of the gloves hitting eachother , which is slightly unerving at times . and i didn't know daniel day-lewis was in such good shape . but the backbone of the story is the love one . because these characters are given such horrible circumstances , and since the two leads have such great chemistry together , we really feel for their plight . as the film goes on , and circumstances get worse and worse , the characters have to make real human decisions , and we can sympathize with them as humans not characters . this is how you write a love story - take note , hollywood . these elements are pretty much equally balanced , with each of the parts of the stories working hand-in-hand with eachother . i loved how each of the different parts of the plot mattered , and sometimes spilled over into the next . it made sure that we didn't just care for one of them . i'm not saying they're all equally great , because the love story really carries the film , but at least they all work out respectively . the acting is amazing , with day-lewis and watson giving excellent performances and showing great chemistry . i'm not sure if they're oscar-nominee bound , but they're very good . in the supporting roles , billy cox is greatly sympathetic as the ira leader losing control of his daughter and his workers . but the film is stolen acting wise by ken stott as ike , who is just a great scene stealer . the direction and co-writing by jim sheridan ( with the other co-writing credit going to terry george ) is excellent , rounding out the characters well , but not pacing everything greatly . i noticed that the first half was very leisurely ( yet fascinating ) , but the second half whirls by at a quick pace , and ends much too quickly . more time could have been spent thinking up the ending , since it does seem quite sloppy . though " the boxer " is a good film , it never achieves the greatness that it should . sure , it's a masterpiece compared to most of the hollywood drivel we usually get , but on it's own , it just could have been better . but it still works out , gives us a great love story combined with a political and boxing drama , and features great acting . even if it could have been better , this'll do .

a costume drama set in the 1500s , england , elizabeth is a lush , romantic , political masterpiece about the upset over the crossing of a protestant queen from a respected catholic one . when the court and country are a whole after the passing of the queens , the royal family , so to speak , are upset that a protestant should be crowened , and not another catholic , plus , the new queen , elizabeth i ( cate blanchette ) , was the bastard baby of the previous queen mary's father . the persecution over catholics and protestants isn't the only majority in elizabeth . elizabeth i must face the decision to give up personal pleasures , and her lover ( joseph fiennes of shakespeare in love ) , in order to rule , successfully , the country , which she did for 40 more years . both elizabeth and shakespeare in love are set in the elizabethian era , and both feature a queen elizabeth i ( judi dench plays her in love ) , or course . yet , i found elizabeth more stimulating and involving than love , not just because elizabeth features a great deal more of elizabeth i , but because i found blanchette a more powerful , hypnotic sense for the role . elizabeth , also featuring geoffrey rush and richard attenborough , is my pick for the best picture of 1998 award . it's a dynamic , important , breathtaking film of loyalty , power , greed , and trust . shakespeare would die for the book rights .

most sequels don't do what they're supposed to do like " toy story 2 " does . far too many of them end up re-hashing the original and adding very little . is it any wonder that most sequels fail to live up to their predecessors ? thankfully , " toy story 2 " is a wonderful exception . i can't remember the last time i saw a sequel as consistently fun and inventive as this one . it's yet another sign that pixar , the acclaimed animation studio behind " toy story " and " a bug's life , " is still at the top of its game . woody and buzz are back in the sequel to the 1995 hit " toy story , " and things have changed a bit since the last one ended . woody ( voiced by tom hanks ) is preparing to leave with his owner andy for cowboy camp . in his absence , he has assigned buzz lightyear ( tim allen ) , now comfortable in his role as a toy , to take charge . unfortunately , woody's trip is ruined when he is accidentally put into the family garage sale , and is stolen by an over-zealous toy collector ( wayne knight ) . off to save him are buzz and members of the old " toy gang , " including mr . potato head ( don rickles ) , rex the nervous dinosaur ( wallace shawn ) , hamm the piggy bank ( john ratzenberger ) , and slinky dog ( jim varney ) . while in captivity , woody makes a startling discovery : he is actually part of a collection of toys based on a 1950's children's show entitled " woody's roundup . " he meets the show's other characters , which include jesse ( joan cusack ) , his cowgirl sidekick , the wise old prospector ( kelsey grammer ) , and bullseye , his trusty horse . they have all been anxiously awaiting woody's arrival , as once their set is completed , they will be sold to a japanese toy museum , and finally escape storage forever . this means woody now faces a difficult choice . with his friends coming to rescue him , does he go with them and spend a few more years with andy , or does he go to japan and be immortalized forever ? as in the original film , " toy story 2 " contains first-rate animation , and pixar studios has done a remarkable job improving on the impressive work they did there . reportedly , the film was originally slated for a direct-to-video release , but after seeing the improvements that had been made , disney rightly decided to release it into theaters . the film is well worth seeing on the big screen . the colors are bright , the textures sharp , and even the human characters look more " human . " the animation is consistently seamless , with the action fast and furious and the facial expressions believable . there are so many impressive sequences that i'd find it impossible to list them here , but i was particularly wowed by a scene where buzz and his cohorts must get across a busy intersection to get to al' s toy barn , the store owned by woody's captor . pixar's rendition of the family dog is also nicely done , with fur so realistic you almost feel you could reach out and touch it . the voice work is also perfectly complementary , and as with the first movie , does much to help further character development . tom hanks and tim allen again disappear into their roles as woody and buzz , making you forget who is doing the voice . it was woody and buzz up there , not tom and tim . all the cast members from the original reprise their roles , and each is excellent . several new voices have been added , with joan cusack , kelsey grammer , and wayne knight doing fine work . " toy story 2 " is strong in characterization , and is able to expand on what we saw in the first movie . woody faces difficult choices , while buzz is confronted with a new buzz who hasn't yet realized his status as a toy , forcing him to see what he used to be like . the new characters are also developed quite well , especially jesse , who narrates a sarah mclachlan-aided flashback illustrating how she was loved , then forgotten by her owner . it may be computer-animated , and it may have sappy music , but it's downright touching . the script , despite having a story and screenplay each credited to four different writers , is endlessly clever and inventive , especially considering that it's a sequel . the reason " toy story 2 " works where other movie sequels fail is that it refuses to just capitalize on the original's success by re-doing the same story and using the same characters . not this one . we get character change , new characters , and new issues brought up . " toy story 2 " is also remarkable for the way in which it keeps reinventing itself . there is always another clever idea waiting just around the corner here . the humor is sharp and witty , with something to amuse both kids and adults . there are funny asides to films such as " star wars " and " jurassic park , " among others , new takes on classic toys like barbie and rock 'em sock 'em robots , and appearances from other pixar efforts " a bug's life " and the 1997 short " geri 's game . " ( geri himself makes an appearance as a toy repairman who fixes woody's broken arm . ) the action is fast and furious , and the chases ( in the street , in a toy store , in an elevator , on a baggage carousel , and in an airplane ) keep getting bigger and better . " toy story 2 " never grows stagnant , because there is always something new to hold your interest . the more you pay attention to it , the more rewarding it is . it's rare to see a film like " toy story 2 " come along , because it's the kind of film that's almost impossible to dislike . it's created purely to entertain , and though i enjoy a thought-provoking drama as much as the next person , it's nice to see that films are still trying to do exactly what movies first tried to do : send us out with a smile . it's a fair bet that the whole family will have smiles on their collective faces after seeing " toy story 2 . " it's the rare sequel that manages to expand on , and live up to , the original .

i've never written a review for a movie i haven't watched all the way through , but i had to make an exception with powder . i was about forty-five minutes into this one at a friend's house when he and his brother got into a huge shouting match that would have ended in violence had we not left the house . so i never got to finish the movie and i'm sure as hell not going to pay three more bucks to watch half of a bad movie . but i can at least get a partial review out of it , because i saw enough to know this one wasn't worth finishing in the first place . the movie centers around a freaky teenager who's spent his entire life living in the cellar of his grandparents' house . when grandpa dies ( taking his department store down with him ) , social worker mary steenburgen has to take powder ( first and middle names ? gold bond ) to a state home , where we find out he's a different from the other kids . actually , we find out he's different when we first see him , because he's the most pale individual we've ever seen and moreover he has no body hair whatsoever . when powder is born in the opening minutes of the movie , the father takes one look at him and says " he's not my son . " obviously . all i want to know is where the pillsbury dough boy was nine months ago . so the white-faced freak leaves his neverland ranch for the state home and faces the ridicule of other kids . that is , until they try to haze him during his first cafeteria lunch by making him " wear " his spoon ( " you can either wear it on your nose or up your ass . " decisions , decisions . . . ) and he uses telepathic powers to draw all the silverware in the room into a giant pile in the middle of the table . so if his father is the pillsbury dough boy , his mother must be sissy spacek's carrie character . and you have to factor in two more things from the subsequent scenes , as we find out powder has some sort of super-intelligence ( " your i . q . test went straight off the chart ! " ) and attracts electrical power . this first shows up as powder visits the world of high school ( if he's such a genius already , why would he need a high school education ? ) and sits through a demonstration in jeff goldblum's science class . goldblum plugs in a " jacob's ladder " device that shows current running up two wires and immediately the current flows across the room and into powder's chest . but goldblum just stands there for about thirty seconds watching , instead of just unplugging the damn thing . i guess he was too busy contemplating why he was appearing in his third bad movie in a row ( following hideaway and nine months ) . that's about all i saw before the big fight began and , let me tell you , that was twice as interesting as the movie itself . but like i said , i saw enough to know this would be one of those terrible melodramas about the isolation of people who have superior abilities and how hard it is for those people to assimilate themselves into mainstream civilization . none of these movies ever handle the subject properly , instead introducing the feeble beauty and the beast copout of having a beautiful woman fall in love with the guy's personality , overlooking his personal appearance . i already had the female character picked out ( the girl who was sitting next to him in the back of the room during the electrocution scene ) , but i guess i'll never know for sure what happened . from noraruth@aol . com mon jun 10 15 : 04 : 03 edt 1996 article : 3654 of rec . arts . movies . reviews path : nntphub . cb . att . com ! not-for-mail from : noraruth@aol . com ( andrew hicks ) newsgroups : rec . arts . movies . reviews , rec . arts . sf . reviews subject : review : powder ( 1995 ) followup-to : rec . arts . movies . current-films , rec . arts . sf . movies date : 10 jun 1996 18 : 16 : 03 gmt organization : university of missouri - columbia lines : 70 sender : ecl@mtcts1 . att . com ( evelyn c . leeper ) approved : ecl@mtcts1 . att . com message-id : " > reply-to : noraruth@aol . com ( andrew hicks ) nntp-posting-host : mtcts2 . mt . lucent . com summary : r . a . m . r . #05425 keywords : author=hicks originator : ecl@mtcts2 xref : nntphub . cb . att . com rec . arts . movies . reviews : 3654 rec . arts . sf . reviews : 710 status : ro powder a film review by andrew hicks copyright 1996 andrew hicks / fatboy productions i've never written a review for a movie i haven't watched all the way through , but i had to make an exception with powder . i was about forty-five minutes into this one at a friend's house when he and his brother got into a huge shouting match that would have ended in violence had we not left the house . so i never got to finish the movie and i'm sure as hell not going to pay three more bucks to watch half of a bad movie . but i can at least get a partial review out of it , because i saw enough to know this one wasn't worth finishing in the first place . the movie centers around a freaky teenager who's spent his entire life living in the cellar of his grandparents' house . when grandpa dies ( taking his department store down with him ) , social worker mary steenburgen has to take powder ( first and middle names ? gold bond ) to a state home , where we find out he's a different from the other kids . actually , we find out he's different when we first see him , because he's the most pale individual we've ever seen and moreover he has no body hair whatsoever . when powder is born in the opening minutes of the movie , the father takes one look at him and says " he's not my son . " obviously . all i want to know is where the pillsbury dough boy was nine months ago . so the white-faced freak leaves his neverland ranch for the state home and faces the ridicule of other kids . that is , until they try to haze him during his first cafeteria lunch by making him " wear " his spoon ( " you can either wear it on your nose or up your ass . " decisions , decisions . . . ) and he uses telepathic powers to draw all the silverware in the room into a giant pile in the middle of the table . so if his father is the pillsbury dough boy , his mother must be sissy spacek's carrie character . and you have to factor in two more things from the subsequent scenes , as we find out powder has some sort of super-intelligence ( " your i . q . test went straight off the chart ! " ) and attracts electrical power . this first shows up as powder visits the world of high school ( if he's such a genius already , why would he need a high school education ? ) and sits through a demonstration in jeff goldblum's science class . goldblum plugs in a " jacob's ladder " device that shows current running up two wires and immediately the current flows across the room and into powder's chest . but goldblum just stands there for about thirty seconds watching , instead of just unplugging the damn thing . i guess he was too busy contemplating why he was appearing in his third bad movie in a row ( following hideaway and nine months ) . that's about all i saw before the big fight began and , let me tell you , that was twice as interesting as the movie itself . but like i said , i saw enough to know this would be one of those terrible melodramas about the isolation of people who have superior abilities and how hard it is for those people to assimilate themselves into mainstream civilization . none of these movies ever handle the subject properly , instead introducing the feeble beauty and the beast copout of having a beautiful woman fall in love with the guy's personality , overlooking his personal appearance . i already had the female character picked out ( the girl who was sitting next to him in the back of the room during the electrocution scene ) , but i guess i'll never know for sure what happened .

in zoolander , the world's most successful , influential and intellectually-challenged male model derek zoolander wonders , " is there more to life than being really really really good looking ? " obviously , the film's creator and star ben stiller asked a similar question when crafting a feature-length movie out of his hilarious vh1/vogue fashion awards short-film subject : can there be more to this film than being really really really silly ? no , of course not , and it never aspires to be anything more . much like derek , zoolander is a sweet simpleton of a movie . it's not complex in either its social commentary or its comedy , and it never produces any gut-busting laughs ( except maybe a scene when derek's model roommates all die in a tragic " gasoline fight " accident -- a riotously funny take-off of tommy hilfiger ads ) . but it has a satisfying handful of strong chuckles , wild characters and performances , and mildly harsh potshots at the fashion industry to keep you amused . better yet , this exaggerated version of the original three-minute skit is only blown out to an efficient 95 minutes -- just enough time to string together its goofball plot without exhausting the gag . zoolander opens with several fashion bigwigs plotting to assassinate the prime minister of malaysia , since he wants to abolish child labor in his country and thus driving up their costs . fashion designer and criminal mastermind jacobim mugatu ( will ferrell ) drafts a plan to brainwash the dumbest fashion model to carry out the evil deed . enter derek , whose career is slumping as newcomer hansel ( owen wilson ) takes the spotlight . on the trail of mugatu's plot is time magazine reporter matilda jeffries ( stiller's real-life wife christine taylor ) , and she's hoping to use mugatu's pawn derek to ultimately foil the scheme . much like the austin powers films , zoolander relies heavily on the strength of the talent involved , and this zany comedy features some of the funniest people in entertainment today . wilson is hysterical as the young , vain hansel . ferrell nearly steals the show from everyone as the flamboyant , freakish mugatu in the same way dr . evil upstages everyone in austin powers . jerry stiller -- ben's dad who's best remembered as frank costanza of seinfeld -- makes a priceless turn as derek's slimy agent maury ballstein . even ben stiller show alum andy dick shows up as a deranged , large-assed masseuse . as for ben stiller , it seems his derek has one gag : he's stupid , which plays out in some uproarious one-liners . unfortunately , taylor seems out of place and out of her league here . maybe it's just because i can't stop seeing her as marcia brady ( who she played in both brady movies ) , making her unbelievable as a dowdy , brainy plain jane who hasn't had sex in two years . she leaves me pining for the cynicism of janeane garofolo , who would've added real comic substance to the flimsy role . while zoolander is hardly highbrow , its screwball humor is welcome during these trying times , especially considering the gross lack of decent pickings in the theaters these days . zoolander's no masterpiece , but a very worthy distraction .

forget get carter . instead . . . get me a cup of coffee . what the hell has happened to all good american action movies ? did i unknowingly miss a meeting somewhere ? when did all of the bad-ass , kicking butt and taking names , gun-toting , crazed , vengeful characters of the 1980's -- from such films as commando , cobra , predator , raw deal , first blood -- suddenly turn into innocent , compassionate , sensitive , teary-eyed knuckleheads . the only place to turn these days for an honest action film is towards the east -- and i don't mean new york city . get carter -- the latest masterpiece from uber-thespian sylvester stallone -- is a prime example of large and in charge 80's action stars trying to fit back into action roles they have long since outgrown . stallone seems like that one uncle you have who tries to be cool with his members only jacket and izod polo shirt with the collar popped up . a few years ago , stallone made a movie that gave him the opportunity to gracefully exit the roles that typecast him as an action monkey . that role was sheriff freddy heflin in copland -- a strange film about redemption within a broken soul . stallone actually gave an amazing performance and it seemed he had shaken off the past . too bad get carter returns stallone to action , but with the shiny paint rusted off on the edges . get carter is a simple story . stallone plays frank carter , a vegas bruiser for a loan shark ( played with amazing gusto by the uncredited voice of actor tom sizemore ) . when frank's brother gets himself killed in a drunk driving accident , frank , feeling all guilty and mushy inside , thinks foul play is involved and travels to seattle to set right all the wrongs with the patented " carter's way " . he talks tough with his brother's wife , lends a helping had to his brother's daughter doreen ( rachel leigh cook ) , and walks around seattle in the pouring rain dressed like a lost member of the rat pack with a really bad goatee . carter finds out that his brother was involved in some bad stuff with a slimy porn king played by ultra-cool , mcqueen-esque mickey rourke , a multi-millionaire computer geek ( alan cumming ) , and a strange foreign guy ( michael caine ) who speaks in riddles and talks tough . carter stalks all of them while trying to figure out who did in his brother and how to extract proper revenge on the responsible parties . what a minute ! this sounds just like another film i saw last year , the limey . better not tell terence stamp about stallone ripping him off . actually , get carter is a remake of the 1971 british production of the same name , starring caine in the title role ( and what with his cameo here , the cleverness is astonishing ) . while stallone still carries his own weight here , the movie lacks what the original did as well : purpose . throughout the film , stallone looks like an old guy trying to act tough , while nobody is taking him seriously . his one-liners fall flat , and he seems tired and uncertain of all the actions , mental and physical , required of his character . there is even a strange homoeroticism between rourke and stallone that lends a bizarre tone to their numerous conversations -- in both fists and words . the biggest surprise in get carter is that the best job done in the film is by the versatile mickey rourke . an amazing method actor in the eighties who fell into drugs , spousal abuse , a boxing career , and an intolerable attitude towards not getting his way , rourke still brings a dangerous sense of purpose to his porn king character . he may not win any oscars , but he still ranks highly in my book . get carter has great directing , strong acting by rourke and caine , and energetic car chases that would make william friedkin proud . the only thing it lacks - as with most hollywood productions -- is a good script and proper casting . never mind that it should never have been made at all .

it must be some sort of warped critical nightmare : the best movie of the year would be a summer vehicle , a jim carrey vehicle at that . and so it is . _the truman show_ is the most perplexing , crazed , paranoid and rib-tickling morality play i've seen since i-don't-know-when . don't credit carrey . it starts with andrew niccol ( gattaca ) , who created the script ten years ago . the story , replete with sublte religious and philisophical undertones , is about a man who discovers that every day of his existence has been televised for a mass audience . ( ironically , it was within these past ten years that " reality-based " television have become a predominant fixture into our culture . who knew ? ) one-upping niccol , it was when unlikely candidate-director peter weir took the helm that things fell into place . weir had the nearly impossible task to create the unimitible tone , deftly mixing capra with kafka , throwing george bailey in a universe inhabited by rod serling . it was weir's first stroke of genius to create seahaven : a suburban paradise/prison that would make spielberg cower in shame . for example , bystander-extras would walk around the block incessantly with flowers along with the latest issue of _dog fancy_ . the nicest touch are the plethora of subtle hints for truman to _not_ leave the island . credit weir for his second stroke : the casting of carrey . carrey seems to be the type of character actor who would always turn " on " and act goofy whenever the camera is near . not here . his performance is so subverted you sometimes wonder if he is ever aware the camera is on . and although carrey does not deserve an academy award nomination ( just as well , the academy rarely honors goofy comedians , excepting robin williams ) , he stretches enough to alter his hyper-silly image considerably . playing one who has the cameras constantly invading his most intimate moments turns to be quite the role of jim carrey's life . no pun intended . better in a smaller , more pivotal role is ed harris as christof , who mixes the right amount of his apollo 13 " work the problem , people " character with dustin hoffman's megaglomaniac producer in _wag the dog_ , and then only slightly svengalian . it is clear that he is torn between the nielson ratings and truman's well being . yes , in his own misguided way he loves truman as a father to a son , and has provided the best universe he could provide . he thinks . rounding out the cast is natascha mcelhone ( mrs . dalloway ) as carrey's true " forbidden love " , sylvia , very effective in another pivotal small role . laura linney ( congo ) and noah emmerich ( copland ) have the unfortunate task of playing truman's wife and best friend ; their sitcom-ish dialogue allow little room for any authentic character development . the exception is at the very beginning , where they speak into the camera , wholeheartedly believing that their participation is truly good for truman , and for society in general . there are other little problems with the script . are we to assume that toddler truman had no recollection of hearing the construction of such a gigantic dome during his formative years ? was there any reason as to why in one scene , it rained solely on truman , even though it never had to ? how is it they hire hundreds of extras , and none of them could drive a boat , and yet truman , fearful of water , is helming a sailboat effortlessly ? and couldn't christof have turned off the wind , to strand truman at sea ? these little contrivances , however , do not hold a candle to the overall effect of the work . the audience gets the feeling that it is watching the actual show , and we are drawn to truman's mundane existence for no other reason than it is there . the final result effortlessly combines the emotional happy ending of a mainstream picture with a gnawing discomfort that hits you square in the gut . upon leaving the theater , i was looking up in the sky , wondering if it was nothing more than a gigantic dome . just checking .

everyone's heard about this movie , and more specifically , * the * scene . everyone's heard the famous barnyard animal quote squealed ( no pun intended ) over and over . and everyone's got to admit that they will never travel down a river again without thinking of deliverance . good ! that's what you're supposed to do ! oh , if you are one of the ones who hasn't seen this yet , or you ( somehow ) haven't heard about what happens , here's your spoiler warning . deliverance was a real shocker for it's time ( 1972 ) . major advances were being made in films , and deliverance made its own advances when it introduced a new horror into the film industry . when it was first released , it literally shocked the audiences . it was something that , for the most part , had really never been seen on the big screen before ( among wide-release films with an r rating ) . but by today's film standards and in today's world , such scenes as the one in deliverance can be reproduced in a way that isn't as shocking , although they can be even more graphic ( e . g . pulp fiction ) . pulp fiction did it in a way , and expanded on it in a way , that it could even be interpreted as funny . but in 1972 , deliverance was no laughing matter . the story centers around a group of four atlanta men who decide to take a rafting trip down a backwoods river in georgia while the river is still there and in its glory . the initial leader of the group is lewis ( burt reynolds in his prime ) , a real outdoorsman and more of a daniel boone-type then any of the others . joining him are ed ( jon voight ) , bobby ( ned beatty ) , and drew ( ronny cox ) . the group's first objective is to find someone ( s ) to drive their cars down the river to the point where they will end their trip . they make arrangements with a few mountain men , who accept $40 . 00 for the task . drew also has the famous " dueling banjos " competition with a local who is , let us say , genetically challenged . the men then set off down the river , with lewis , also the master at canoeing , leading the way . everything seems to be going fine , until the two canoes split up , leaving the unexperienced ed and bobby alone . they encounter two hillbillies , armed with a shotgun , who captured them . ed is tied to a tree while bobby is sodomized by one of the men . ed nearly receives the same cruelty , but lewis arrives just in time to fire an arrow through the rapist's back . the other hillbilly gets away , and the men have to decide what to do with the dead body . disposing of dead bodies is done rather frequent throughout this film . while attempting to make a quick " paddle for it " , both canoes tip over . drew , who was without a life jacket , was possibly shot and cannot be found . lewis suffered a rather nasty compound fracture during the incident and is in serious condition . this leaves ed and bobby . ed decides to go out and look for the remaining hillbilly , alone , with the bow and arrow . the question arises if he will be able to handle himself , as he horribly botched a first shot attempt at a deer , to which his comment " i wonder how anyone could kill a living thing " will have more meaning in the future . deliverance is definitely a wild ride ( oops , i'm doing it again ) . it is extremely tense at some points and very dramatic . it's definitely one of those " must see " movies and should be considered one of the classics of its decade .

in times of crisis people are driven to desperate measures . of course what constitutes a crisis differs from person to person . what may be a disastrous situation for one , may be seen as a challenge to another . as deepak chopra is known to say , " it's not the ride , it's the rider . " unfortunately clear-thinking is not always the reaction to problems . wall street wheeler dealer steven taylor ( michael douglas ) is a man with troubles . he's sunk his money in illegal financial activities and it's blown up in his face . in a matter of days he will lose it all . his wife emily ( gwyneth paltrow ) is a highly-placed un interpreter and is not happy with her life either . her marriage is cold and unfulfilling . unknown to her , her new lover david shaw ( viggo mortensen ) is not only a painter , but an ex-con with a history of bilking wealthy women of their money . emily is a prime target : she's worth over $100 million . steven's solution to his predicament is to offer david half a million to kill his wife . the artist accepts and the movie is underway . drawing from frederick knott's play and loosely based on hitchcock's dial m for murder , this is all-too typical of summer releases . all style and no substance . and there's really not much style . director andrew davis ( the accomplished witness and best-forgotten other films ) has made exactly the wrong choices at almost every turn . douglas and paltrow have both shown us that they are skillful actors in previous films . mortensen showed promise in the past . here all three are walking uninterestingly through their roles with oddly waxen faces . the only person who shows any sense of life is david suchet as new york detective mohamed karaman . he's only on-screen long enough to make you think that there might be a likable person in the film and then he disappears . the first concern of a suspense film is to create suspense . surprises are important . in this movie the audience keeps waiting for something to happen . and nothing ever does . nearly every event is telegraphed in advance . close-up on this object or that action and it's easy to guess what's going to happen . as the film plods towards its inevitable conclusion you keep expecting a plot twist to make the movie worthwhile . it's a hopeless quest . the story doesn't make much sense . steven's wife is loaded . even with unfriendly relations , you'd think that he could have talked to her about his difficulty rather than deciding to kill her . when he does decide on the dire plan he makes an unreasonable choice . if you were going to hire someone to kill your wife , would your first choice be her lover ? no matter how sleazy he is , i would think there might be a chance that he would turn down the opportunity . why would steven plan the murder as a break-in in their apartment ? why not just take her out as she was walking to david's loft in a bad neighborhood ? while deciding among the numerous summer films , you might do well to skip this one . you'll find more suspense than this movie offers by watching the weather channel .

robin hood : men in tights is another mel-brooks-produced film in the classic tradition of movies like blazing saddles and young frankenstein . mel brooks is well known for his comic look at regular life , his fast paced dialogue and sharp wit . unfortunately , robin hood : men in tights has none of the easy going humor of blazing saddles , none of the fun acting of young frankenstein , is devoid of the charm of spaceballs , and is even lacking the good , solid dialogue of history of the world . it is , in short , one of the worst movies i have seen mel brooks , or anybody else , produce . the plot borrows heavily from the well-received kevin costner movie of last year , robin hood : prince of thieves . this is not surprising in and of itself , and could have been used to great comic effect , mainly by parodying scenes from the orginal movie . mel brooks does not take advantage of this , however , and uses the film to launch several ideas into the air , none of which connect and none of which are explained later on . the movie's scenes could be shuffled around in any order and one would be hard pressed to notice . cary elwes , of princess bride fame , plays robin of loxley , a man who was captured in the crusades , fighting with king richard . he escapes and , joining with a man named achoo ( i am sure you can see the obvious joke ) , fights in england to reclaim his name and the throne for richard , which has been captured by evil prince john , played by funny comic richard lewis . he also tries for the love of maid marian and attempts to overthrow the evil " sheriff of rottingham " . a good adventure plot that is sadly unused . elwes and lewis are both excellent comics , but the dialogue in the movie is simply excruciating . neither actor has any good words to work with , and the lines simply aren't funny , nor believable . perhaps the worst example of this is when the group of merry men encounter a man playing a macaulay culkin clone from the hit movie home alone . this particular scene is so out of place and so badly acted , and followed by so many other scenes of equal miserable ideas , that i really felt like leaving the theatre . much of the audience continued to look at their watches throughout , and some left the theatre . chuckles were few and far between , and they mostly dealt with visual jokes ( such as an old , beaten up horse from " rent-a-wreck " ) then from any dialogue whatsoever . scenes that could have been classics , such as the archery contest , are ruined by poor acting . perhaps the largest problem with the movie is that it is simply offensive . the basic plot , that robin has received a key that will unlock the chastity belt of maid marian , is not witty nor funny . mel brooks as a circumcision-giving rabbi is also offensive to me and others in the audience ( not all jewish , either ) . the movie simply tries to hard trying to be funny and by and large fails . the addition of a blind man who stumbles around , falling off cliffs , walking into ledges and being a general buffoon could have had some humorous potential , but is also made terribly offensive . the only reason to see this movie is the surprise actor at the end who plays king richard . he is well worth waiting for , if you can stand an hour and half of unfunny dialogue , excruciating visual humor , old puns , ancient jokes and bad acting . if you can't , don't even bother watching this miserable film .

" desperate measures " was something i was excited about seeing back when it was originally scheduled to be released : summer '97 . for some reason , it was delayed until hollywood's traditional dumping ground : january . now that it's out , i see no real reason for that delay , as it's a simple yet highly entertaining film . michael keaton stars as a maniacial murderer who's bone marrow can save the life of the dying son of a san francisco police detective ( garcia ) . keaton agrees to the transplant , only so he can attempt escape . he succeeds , in a plan that of course could only work in the movies . the police force is now trying to kill keaton , while garcia is working against them trying to keep keaton alive in order to save his son . the film definately has it's flaws . the plot is strictly tv movie of the week fare , but the acting and direction certainly boost it far above that status . also , after keaton's escape , garcia's captain barks at him " how many men have to die to save your kid's life ? " which the film treats as such an evil and insignificant remark . the thing is , it's a vaild point . how many people have to be needlessly crippled , burned , and killed just to save this one child ? what's the greater good here ? many lives or one life ? if movies really had guts nowadays , i would have loved to have seen this movie come down to a final choice for garcia's character . place him in a situation where he knows that he has to kill keaton because keaton is about to kill someone else . alas , movies these days generally have no such ambition to pull the audience's strings in ways which might make the uncomfortable . despite a few silly moments ( and one or two really stupid ones ) , the good things about " desperate measures " outnumber the bad . the main highlight would be keaton's performance . the character could have easily been an overacting , scene chewing freak , but keaton underplays it nicely . he's not as menacing as he was in " pacific heights " or even as menacing as he was in " batman " ( yes kids , batman used to be a dark character ) , but you certainly get the idea that he's evil . even the final scene of the film , which normally i would just hate , seems strangely appropriate for this film . so much so that i didn't mind it in the slightest . and another bonus : the film takes place in san francisco , which usually means a car chase on those hills that you've seen a billion times before . and for a moment , it looked as though it was about to happen . but it doesn't , and that's creative . [r]

note : some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers . be forewarned . east meets west in mulan , the latest installment in disney's parade of annual animated feature films . an odd fusion of ancient asian traditions and disconcerting elements which betray obvious mass-market commercial sensibilities , this confident entry is easily the most engaging and satisfying hollywood animated feature in years , but falls short of actualizing its potential . though not for lack of trying . in many respects , mulan is among disney's most mature efforts , skirting the surface of adult themes and daring to sneak glimpses into the messier side of combat . the violence of the battles in the film are admittedly sanitized -- the imagery of a pillaged village , neatly encapsulated in the form of a child's discarded doll , is in itself no more harrowing than luke discovering his fallen guardians in star wars , and mulan's later heroics in dispatching of the ruthless invaders is done so in the most tidy , bloodless method imaginable -- yet how often does a hollywood animated film , long considered as the last safe refuge for the innocent , dare touch upon the consequential horrors of war in such a provocative manner ? in an instant , idealistic mulan's innocence is lost , and her jovial squadron are reminded of what their efforts are spent defending . the film , based upon an ancient chinese fable , centers on a spirited young woman who disguises herself as a man in order to serve as her family's obligatory conscript when china finds itself under attack by huns ( cartoonishly depicted by easy demonic overtones , replete with glowing yellow eyes and dagger-edged teeth , although lent a surprisingly genuine sense of menace ) . dipping into the mythology of other cultures for the first time after cavorting in animated revisitings of familiar western / european fables and literature for decades , disney's new film is boldly set in ancient china rather than relocated elsewhere , story intact , to some neutral territory , and revels in its east asian roots ; aside from a predominantly asian-american cast providing the film's vocal work , there's liberal usage of oriental iconography throughout , and the artwork reveal hints of japanese anime influence . while the film does occasionally reach its limits and starts to tread upon old stereotypes -- invoking pseudo-asian references to items like beancurd and rice in every third sentence grows rather hoary , and i can't imagine that the regiment for ancient chinese warriors * really * included karate-chopping blocks of stone in two -- it's rather remarkable that a movie primarily positioned for american and european audiences delves so wholeheartedly into new foreign territory . the film also freely touches upon cultural idiosyncrasies from its outset ; although savvy viewers should easily pick up on the intrinsics immediately , it's startlingly assertive in providing as little shorthand as it does to unfamiliar youngsters with regards to the customs and traditions of mulan's land . at its core , the film is a tale of heroic adventure , and as such paints its story in bold strokes of honour , perseverance , nobility and courage . as such , animation is the perfect vehicle for this flavour of epic , where stark emotional simplicity is able to effectively work hand-in-hand with visual purity . scenes which would play out as unbearably hokey in live action , such as mulan's venerable father pridefully tossing aside his cane when accepting his draft notice , are lent a sense of strength and conveyed with greater emotional clarity in animation . mulan capitalizes on this during its strongest moments , particularly during our heroine's character-defining opening half-hour . it's when the film attempts to integrate the traditional mainstays of recent hollywood animation -- the friendly animal sidekick , the colourful array of supporting characters -- into the mix where it goes slightly awry . off to battle , mulan finds herself being trailed by a jive-talking diminutive dragon called mushu and an agreeable little " lucky " cricket , who ostensibly appear to assist in her subterfuge and realistically serve as audience-friendly comic relief . they're affable presences , and not precisely ineffective -- reasonable amounts of humour are elicited , and eddie murphy ( who voices mushu ) is amusingly earnest -- but amidst all the high melodrama , the effect is mildly jarring and , from a storytelling perspective , questionable in its necessity . at training camp , mulan antagonizes and eventually wins over a trio of fumbling recruits ( easily characterized simply as the short clown , the skinny clown , and the big clown ) , who provide more levity into the film with decidedly less effectiveness , and , in a familiar retread of traditional disney patterns , she grows a certain fondness for a handsome , square-jawed young captain , shang . everybody needs love , even ancient chinese warrior princesses , but not necessarily in * this * film . the romantic angle , which lets the air out of the sails of the story's neo-feminist underpinnings , lacks any genuine spark and plays out like a contractual obligation . another staple of recent disney animated films , a cache of hummable little ditties , has also obligingly been carried over to mulan but proves to be a decided weakness . composed by matthew wilder , none of the handful of tunes are particularly distinguishing , and one -- " i'll make a man out of you " ( unimaginatively accompanying a tired montage featuring our crew of characters transforming into lean fighting machines ) -- becomes so grating and hackneyed that it seems almost interminable . only " reflections " , an early ballad of lament , proves to be a song of any consequence , serving as an effective showcase for lea salonga , one of musical theatre's most wondrously pure voices . nonetheless , mulan is an especially appealing piece of work from the disney factory , with a strong narrative arc and pleasant artwork ; the computer-generated stampede of hun warriors charging down a snow mountain is wholly impressive . while the blatantly child-friendly elements at times seem incongruous with the remainder of the film , they're not dissuasive and remain fairly enjoyable . briskly paced with a smart , energetic heroine and filled with high adventure , the film is ultimately most satisfying on the intimate scale of father and daughter .

phil ( radmar jao ) has a hairy problem . his beard is growing so rapidly that he has to shave every hour . he recently met the author of a non-fiction book on lycanthropy , also referred to in the movie as werewolfism , and phil now believes that his problem is that he has become a werewolf . using enough chains and handcuffs to be a hit at a sadomasochists convention , he ties himself in at night lest his urges overcome him . and phil is just one of the many quirky characters that inhabit shopping for fangs . made on a pittance , the film features an almost exclusively asian-american cast . as directed by quentin lee and justin lin , the movie is so amateurishly bad that it could almost be a parody of indie films . jeanne chin plays katherine , a meek and soft-spoken wife , who worries that her husband is unhappy with her because she is not giving him enough sex . we know this through the endless scenes of her confessing her sins , real and imagined , to her therapist . as her husband , jim , clint jung plays a muscle man with a macho crudeness . the picture is filled with stereotypes . there's a mysterious , loud-mouthed waitress with a big , platinum blonde wig who brags to everyone she meets that she's a lesbian . she spends most of the movie putting the moves on her favorite customer , a gay guy . and the lone white with a major role , the author on werewolfism , has wildly unkempt , orangey blonde , curly hair . from its opening scene of an attempted rape at knifepoint to its easy to guess ending twist , the script rarely has anything to offer . the story is so minimally developed that it feels almost like the actors were ad-libbing . one can only hope that the directors' next film will have some substance and some credible acting . shopping for fangs runs 1 : 30 . it is rated r for sex , violence , and profanity and would be fine for older teenagers .

driving miss daisy takes its sweet time to tell a small , intimate story . it's a quiet film , a slow film , a deliberate film . but if you're patient with it , the movie offers innumerable rewards , such as a pair of self-assured performances by morgan freeman and jessica tandy . driving miss daisy is based on alfred uhry's pulitzer-prize winning play of the same name , which first opened in new york four years ago . the play has garnered international acclaim with productions in chicago , los angeles , london , vienna , norway , and the soviet union . uhry himself wrote the screenplay for the film adaptation of driving miss daisy ; he also penned the wonderful sleeper , mystic pizza . the film , like the play , is set in atlanta , georgia , and it revolves around two people in their twilight years : a cranky , 70-something jewish widow who feels guilty about her wealth and a 60-something black man who becomes her chauffeur . the movie relies on character , rather than plot , to propel the action . in fact , the movie has no discernible plot in the traditional sense ; it doesn't present a linear story in which all the scenes flow together . rather , driving miss daisy is made up of the routine activities of everyday life : shopping , listening to the radio , visiting the cemetery , eating fried chicken , and so on . the film also incorporates into the story line actual events in atlanta's history , including the 1958 bombing of the temple ( the city's oldest jewish congregation ) and a 1965 ceremony honoring the reverend dr . martin luther king , jr . the story begins in 1948 with daisy ( tandy ) crashing and wrecking her packard as she pulls out of her driveway . the insurance company cancels her insurance , and her son , boolie , decides to hire her a chauffeur . freeman , reprising his role from the play , plays the chauffeur , hoke . the film chronicles the warm friendship that slowly but surely blossoms between the chauffeur and his reluctant passenger . driving miss daisy is a movie about human nature , aging , prejudice , and a great many other things , but more than anything it's about a relationship : one that spans 25 years , 4 cars , the advent of civil rights , and one gravely important 33 cent can of salmon . daisy is strong-willed and set in her ways , and , from the outset , she is utterly opposed to the idea of having a chauffeur . initially , she treats hoke with contempt , refusing to let him drive her anywhere . once she does get in the car , daisy is the ultimate back-seat driver . to make matters worse , she is extremely self-conscious about what others might think if they were to see her being escorted around town by a hired hand . eventually , however , daisy is worn down by hoke's good-natured charm and infectious cheer ; she softens and opens up to him . tandy plays the part of daisy exceedingly well , but unfortunately this feisty , cantankerous character is just a smidgen too commonplace . we've seen this woman countless times before in other incarnations , from on golden pond to cocoon . nevertheless , tandy manages to put enough of a personal stamp on the familiar character to make it her own . freeman , as hoke , on the other hand , gives the more distinctive of the two performances . there is something profoundly moving about the way hoke maintains his pride and dignity in a society which forbids him from using public rest rooms because of his skin color . hoke is uneducated and illiterate , but freeman always suggests that there is something more to this man , an inner strength beneath the simpleton exterior . both freeman and tandy seem to be in their element , in full command of their natural charisma . they flirt with the camera and dominate scenes without overtly calling attention to themselves . they bring a light touch to their humorous banter and to the movie's gentle humor . at the same time , tandy and freeman provide more than a few moments of truly poignant drama . in his first dramatic role , dan aykroyd is surprisingly chubby and unexpectedly effective as boolie , tandy's loving and patient son . drama seems to agree with aykroyd ; taking a break from comedy seems like a good move for the actor , especially when you consider the wretched comedies he has made recently ( ghostbusters ii , the great outdoors , my stepmother is an alien ) . the only other significant characters in the film are daisy's housekeeper , idella , marvelously played by esther rolle ( " good times " ) , and boolie's pretentious wife , played by patti lupone . under the direction of bruce beresford ( crimes of the heart , tender mercies ) , driving miss daisy seems a bit stagey now and again . but fortunately , beresford never forgets he's shooting a movie , and accordingly , he offers plenty of striking cinematic touches , such as gorgeous shots of flowers , trees , and tomatoes . in adapting driving miss daisy from the stage to the screen , the filmmakers have achieved a delicate subtlety . uhry understands that what his characters do not say can be just as important as what they do say . beresford wisely exercises restraint in the film's dramatic moments . the movie tugs at your heart , but it never goes for the jugular . the only sap in driving miss daisy is in the trees .

starship troopers is a bad movie . i mean , a really , really , bad movie . not only does it cross the line of bad taste when it comes to blood , gore and body parts shown on the screen , it blissfully jumps over that line , apparently unaware that the movie trailers appeal to an audience of five to fifteen year olds ( of which i saw many in the theatre ) . looking past the appalling sight of overdone violence , we are left with a movie with a thin plot at best , no strong lead characters , a blatant disregard for physics , and a very obvious naziesque theme . that being said , onto the review : the movie starts with a propaganda message from the federation ( who's logo bears a * strong * resemblance to a nazi german eagle ) , urging the populace to go off and fight the bugs , who are attempting to destroy earth . the film shows large rallies with young children in attendance , pledging allegiance to the federation ( again , sound familiar ? ) . as the movie progresses , we are shown terror tactic training , as a drill sargeant very graphically compound fractures one recruits arm , and throws a knife through another's hand . eventually , the recruits embark on a journey to a location two thirds of the way across the milky way galaxy , to fight the bugs on their home planet . as our faster than light travelling " heroes " arrive on planet , they drop onto the planet , and burst our of their craft brandishing . . . " what ? " you say , " laser beam weapons ? sonic weapons ? phasers ? photon cannons ? " . nope , they hop out brandishing good old 1997 machine guns , pump action rifles , and tactical nuclear weapons ! i guess a lot of physics money r&d went into travel and not weaponry . as the assault begins , our group of troopers are seen walking in a straight line through a box canyon . two members of the group notice rocks slipping and falling above them , and one even sees a streak fly by , but disregards it as nothing . this of course , leads to more massive carnage , blood shed , and graphic depictions of limbs and heads being ripped and severed from their bodies . again , i see that military tactics in the future must have evolved at about the same pace as their weapons ! in the end , we see neil patrick " doogie howser " harris burst onto the scene in what could accurately be described as a nazi ss trenchcoat , hat , and gloves . he does a vulcan mind meld on the giant slug , and then proclaims that the bugs are scared ! this sets the troopers into a frenzy , as they are now one step closer to completing their goal , total genocide of a species ( again , sound familiar ? ? ) . i have tried very hard not to step on and spoil the plot with this review , but given it's non-existence , i may have anyway . i could go on for pages ripping this movie apart , but don't want to bore you too badly . in short , i felt as if i were subjected to a mix between a pro-nazi war film with bugs substituted for allies , a drivers education accident scene film , and a complete blank screen ( the plot , of course ) . i wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone , anywhere , under any circumstance . copyright ( c ) 1997 tim jandt " >

set in the late 80's at the height of yuppie excess and based on the book by bret easton ellis ( who explored the same themes in another book which was also made into a movie , less than zero ) , american psycho puts a new spin on the yuppie " genre " that ellis helped to create . christian bale is perfectly cast as patrick bateman , a high powered yuppie who hides a terrible secret from his fianc ? e and his colleagues . it seems that bateman is a serial killer and , unfortunately for his contemporaries , his tenuous grasp on reality is starting to slip . as he tries to balance his meticulous daily routines with slaughtering co-workers and prostitutes and hiding their bodies , his mental fabric slowly begins to unravel . i was first introduced to the novel when i was still in high school . i read an associated press article in our local sunday newspaper detailing the problems ellis was having getting his novel published due to the controversial violence in it . as usual when anything is controversial i try to seek it out , but i soon forgot about the novel and didn't end up thinking about it again until i stumbled across it a couple of years later at a bookstore . i picked it up and read it , but was ultimately disappointed because it left more questions than answers . the movie has a similar effect , but at least it's less cryptic than ellis' novel . for once , a film has actually turned out to be better than the novel it was based on . both the book and the film open with bateman describing his fastidious morning preparations ( down to exactly what facial scrubs and exfoliating creams he uses ) but the novel seems to concentrate more on these excesses throughout . the movie continues to touch upon these things but makes more of a point to immerse us in bateman's impending madness than to detail things as painstakingly as the novel does . as a result , the film is immensely more entertaining . lions gate seems to be the studio champion of controversial films ( having picked up kevin smith's catholic-rattling dogma ) and here with american psycho there is no difference . screenwriters mary harron and guinevere turner had the unenviable task of trying to take a novel about yuppies filled with graphic violence and sex and make a marketable film out of it . some cuts had to be made to the finished film to keep from getting an nc-17 , mainly involving a sex scene comprising bateman and two women , and initial reports said the film was unwatchable . thankfully , it is watchable and harron and turner have made one of the most scathingly satirical films this side of south park : bigger , longer & uncut . side note #1 : co-writer guinevere turner also makes an appearance in the film as an ill-fated acquaintance of bateman's who , after bateman suggests that she start making out with a female prostitute , proclaims that she's not a lesbian nor has any interest in it . the ironic humor of the scene stems from the fact that turner ( the writer/director of the film go fish and who also assisted kevin smith with parts of his script for chasing amy ) is a lesbian . it's a subtle in-joke and it's one i found to be pretty humorous . despite having a rather high profile supporting cast of young up-and-comers ( including reese witherspoon ) , most of the roles are a waste and are the equivalent of extended billed cameos . the real draw here is christian bale and his over-the-top performance as patrick bateman . whenever i read a novel i always try to imagine what it would be like as a movie and who would be perfect to cast as the characters . i always had a hard time trying to decide who i would cast as bateman , but i never thought bale would deliver a performance as perfect as his ends up being . to say bale runs away with the character is a vast understatement and he proves that he's as adept at chewing scenery as al pacino or rod steiger . one sequence in particular , involving bateman describing his love for huey lewis and the news' song " hip to be square " right before burying an axe in a co-worker's head , features one of the most eccentric and kinetic performances i have ever seen on film . side note #2 : despite the fact that huey lewis' " hip to be square " and a pair of phil collins songs appear in the film , don't expect to see them on the soundtrack release . huey lewis expressly requested that his song , featured in a rather large set piece in the film ( much akin to the use of " stuck in the middle with you " in reservoir dogs ) , not be included on any soundtrack release . i'm assuming that collins requested the same . on a similar note , whitney houston's cover of " the greatest love of all " is also involved in a scene comparable to the other two and it is very obvious that it isn't the houston version at all but merely an instrumental version culled from an unknown source . apparently , houston wasn't as open about the use of her song as the others were . a bigger controversy than the violence and sex has been brewing since the film's release : that of whether or not patrick has actually committed the crimes we have viewed during the course of the film . don't look to the book for any answers because it will only serve to confuse you more . several web sites have been dedicated to the subject but i'm still undecided . there is evidence both for and against but the most scathing evidence against comes from a scene near the end of the film where bateman goes on a killing spree taking out cops , old ladies , and cleaning staff with equal gusto . the scene seemed very dream-like and as absurd as the action films it suddenly seems to be parodying ( as an example , bateman blows up a police car very cinematically after firing several shots from a handgun in the general direction of the car ) . i kept waiting for bateman to wake up and for the film to continue on from there , but bateman never does wake up and the whole sequence , though comic , throws the film off-balance ( which i suppose was the intention ) . other than the few flaws i have mentioned , american psycho is an incredibly entertaining film ( although you may not leave the movie fully understanding whether or not what has just transpired actually occurred in bateman's reality ) . i think this movie is destined for greatness as a cult film and deserves the spot it will take as such . it may not change anyone's life , but it will certainly have an effect . i know i will certainly hear " hip to be square " in a different context the next time i hear it . [r]