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Zenoes | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_2pi7hd | Hello /r/leagueoflegends
As a jungler main I have started to notice that no matter what attitude you have in the game, you will always run into negative players. Now I know this is normal for any game, but after playing for around three years I have came to the conclusion that other games dont have as much trolls as league of legends does, and its a serious problem that ruins the game for me, my friends, and everyone else who is a positive player on league of legends.
As a recently toxic player, I have matured to realise being vulguar might be the reason why I wasnt getting past Platnium, and maybe a change in attitude would be a step in the right direction to promotion but I was wrong. The last 10 games I have faced a troll, verbal harrasment, or some sort of game ruining experince that makes me question why i continue to play the game. Although league is my favorite game, my second favorite game would be CSGO, where although I am not as good, I almost never face trolls, and trolls could be easily dealt with by kicking them, or them kicking themselves from shooting other players and such. League of legends needs this sort of system, we need a ban from rank which could be enforced immediatly, we need the option to deal with players in our match so we can continue with our game, we need a fix, and Riot is to slow to address it.
Now aside from the negative players, we need a way to reward positive players, and a medal in champ select and the loading screen isnt enough. A couple suggestions for rewards might be the chance of recieveing a small reward, extra ip, a chance for a skin, a chance for summoner icons, pretty much anything to make it worth while for people who strive for victory even in the toughest conditions, or are positive throughout the game. For the past couple of years I have waited for a improved tribunal, and improved system, and impromoved community, but I still have yet to see any sort of improvments.
For a company as big as Riot, and a game with the leading playerbase, we shouldnt face these problems, we should be able to enjoy the league for what it is, a game, but people ruin the experince and take the game to seriously or to loosley. Please to everyone reading this, post your thoughts or opinions on what we could do to imrpove the community for this game, and i strongly urge you as a compasionate player, to be positive, thank your team mates for helping you in lane, or tell them how well that last play they did was because it goes a long way, and it makes everyone feel better and strive for victory. If a team mate is feeding unintentionally try to address the issues they are making, tell them they need wards, tell them they need to side step, anything that will help them improve, but do so in the nicest way possible because people could take it in the wrong way and consider it flame.
Thank you if you read my rants all the way through, and if any members of Riot are reading this, thank you for the development of my favorite game, and please work diligantly to address this issue so we may continue to play and enjoy league as the amazing game it is.
Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and a happy new years to all my fellow summoners on the rift.
Edit: | being a positive player isn't enough, negative players need to be dealt with by a better system |
lush_puppy | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2pjnit | I met a girl [jen] 2 years ago, about 6 months after graduating college. We immediately hit it off and started a FWB type relationship. Given that we were both recently graduated from college, I was pretty adamant about keeping our relationship non-committal. That being said, our time together was amazing. I always enjoyed her company regardless of what we were doing, the sex was very very good, and I generally just felt like a better, happier version of myself when I was with her. However, I had been in a long term relationship throughout college and felt that it was important for me to play the field to get a sense of who I was sexually and emotionally. As such, I ended up distancing myself from jen after about 6 months because she lived about an hour away (she in NYC, I in a suburb of NJ) and I wasn't ready to get into anything too serious after having been locked down for so long. During that time apart I had a large number of fleeting relationships, which were fun in their own right, but were not nearly as satisfying. About half a year after we had parted ways, I met up with her at a party and we began seeing each other again frequently, but under the same casual pretenses as before. This basically entailed her sleeping at my place 3-4 nights a week, dinner dates, and regular texting/calls during the week. About 4 months after we picked up again, Jen lost her current job, but was offered another position in California within the same organization she currently worked at. She accepted the new position in California. I wasn't surprised or upset by this because our relationship had been pretty casual until this point, her sister lived out west, and she'd always expressed an interest to travel.
The night before she left for California, she invited me out in NYC. We ended up drinking, getting a hotel together, and aside from other things I told her "I think I love you" to which she replied "you don't mean that..."
That was it though. I made no requests. I just said it as we were nodding off, but I meant it. From that time on we've texted frequently and talked on the phone often. I obviously can't read her mind, but I always got the sense that she had very strong feelings for me, and our subsequent texts/conversations after her move reinforced this opinion.
I was recently out in California for work and decided to visit her. She invited me to stay at her place, but during my visit I discovered that she recently started dating someone in California, and I'm having trouble dealing with it. The night that I was there her new boyfriend slept over (understandably) and I wound up going home with some rando because I couldn't bear to be under that same roof when she was with someone else. I'm all for that "If you love something(someone) let it go" bullshit, but fuck... Should I do more?
I don't know what to do. If I'm being honest with my emotions, I want her to move back east so that I can try my hand at a committed relationship with her, but I'm afraid I may have fucked my shot with that.
Any advice, or criticism would be appreciated.
** | should I reach out to an ex that I'm in love with? |
Sexxit-throwaway1232 | sex | t5_2qh3p | t3_2pntrv | I know everybody is going to tell me to go to the doctor, but I just wanted other opinions before I wasted my time and money there.
So basically I just had my first semester of college and did not have any sexual contact there (have had sex in the past though). About a month into college, I noticed a strange itchy rash on the inside part of my right thigh near my penis (not on the penis though). It is red with some minor bumps, apparently right where the hairs are growing. Sometimes it is also pretty moist, and smells slightly different than other sweat, but other times seems more like regular (but intense) dry skin. It eventually spread to around the left side if my penis as well, though not as intense.
It never seemed bad enough to go to the doctor, and intensity faded in and out during the semester. I never thought it was that big of a deal because it never actually touched my genitals, just the insides of my thighs. Also, possibly unrelated, in the past 2 weeks I have had maybe 3 zits on the inside of my right thigh, but farther up (about halfway to the knee joint).
Do you guys think it's very serious?
Edit: | after a lack of sex life in college, I have some kind of a rash on my inner thighs near my penis. Red, itchy, minor bumps. Not sure if STI or possibly just dry skin |
AlmightyPoro | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_2091qe | alot of midlaners nowadays have problems building mana vs AD mids, plus jayce, udyr and other mana spam ad's could also use a buff.
So with that in mind maybe add a new mana/5 item that gives armor,
and (like tear) let it build into 2 (or more) items, 1(or more) AD item and 1(or more) AP item. I mean Riot said they wanted more itemization so why not?
EDIT: | new item that gives mana and armor. |
osduu | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_20bvpz | I tried to read but i don't get it. Plz | someone :3 |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_20fp4g | So my girlfriend, 23f, and I, 29m, were supposed to spend this upcoming week together. I'm in a different state, working on a PhD, and my university, though not her college, is on spring break.
Here's the problem: given that it's spring break, everyone, most importantly my roommate, is going out of town, and there is, therefore, no one to watch my cat whilst I'm away. Initially I was going to bring my cat to her family's apartment and leave her in the hallway (making a comfortable little setup for her), but then my gf and her family decided that they simply couldn't allow for this, because of the "smell."
One time months ago, I brought my cat to her city and the cat wet herself on the way. This, of course, caused a smell, and they made a big fuss about how awful it was. I brought the cat to where she was to be staying, cleaned her up, and the smell went away. This is where the idea of a dirty, foul odored cat came from. I should note that my gf is paranoid: she thought on another occasion that I brought my cat in the car and let her piss all over the seats - until I proved to her that the small was actually the smell of cheap plastic that was coming from the new floormats.
EDIT: They did not let me keep the cat with them the first time. I was simply on my way to the place where I was going to stay (not available now, due to remodeling) and I cleaned the cat.
My gf has an insane family. They are ridiculously traditional, and ban her from visiting me by herself, so I am always the one who has to go out of state to visit, except for one single time since I've been away at school. That one single time, she came - and her whole family, mother, father, and sister, invited themselves along and stayed in my house!
Here's the point of all this: I feel like I go out of my way to make the relationship work, by getting myself to her place, to spend time with her and see her. This costs me money and time. When I come, her family is insane and demanding, often setting tasks that must be complete and demanding that we spend time with them. Most of the time I don't spend with the girlfriend, but with her and her whole family, with her mother dominating every single conversation with a few of her favorite subjects. Now, because I have no other option of cat sitting, I asked for them not to pet sit, not to let the cat in their apartment, but to simply let me bring it and take care of it in the hallway - and they can't even do this; she can't even do this. I feel like there is an unfairness here: I do everything for her, but this one simple thing she cannot do because of some unfounded fear of it causing an odor. (Not to mention that I agreed to take her to the groomer...and her family has a dog!)
When I question her about it, she launches into a tirade about how much she dislikes the cat, how the cat is dirty, etc., etc. The cat was left to me by my aunt, and my father, who passed away in 2012, was extremely grateful to me for taking the cat. So, on top of the typical feelings people have towards their pets, I feel a special responsibility to take care of her as well. My girlfriend knows all this, but she continues to badmouth the cat. I think this is disrespectful towards me, but then she goes on and on, saying that I'm putting the cat above her(!) and that I'm being disrespectful.
I know I'm not being disrespectful, of course, but am I right in feeling slighted that they cannot do this simple thing for me?
* | girlfriend won't put up cat, even though it's the only way I can come to stay with her, and I always go out of my way to see her. Am I being oversensitive?** |
Ishallthrowthis | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_3ktzcf | Hey Reddit, so I've been seeing this girl that I met online for about two months now, and up to this point I thought things are going very well for us. We've been seeing each other like every second - third day if our schedules allowed we would usually sleep over either at her or mine place and spend the next day together. Made some travel plans for next week etc. So generally everything was moving in a good direction. No real issues. We met each others friends. Last night we met after work at her place so we could hangout for a while, and I ended up staying over. Around 4 am I woke up and grabbed my phone to see what time is it. It turned out I actually grabbed her phone and was greeted with a text message from her friend " you should really decide between xxx or yyy" I got confused and I will shamefully admit I did some snooping, I found out she is dating me and regularly texting some other dude. From the texts I gathered they had maybe two dates, obviously I got furious, but was to drunk to drive so I went to sleep on her couch since at that time I couldn't even look at her. So Im really confused because she's going literally through hoops to find time for me and see me as often as she can, and then I read all that crap. Im not sure should I call her out ? Is it normal with dating people from the internet ? Don't know how to bring the subject without overreacting since we're not dating for a long time. even though she apparently lied to me when she said she wants to date me exclusively. And that makes me question everything she has ever told me. Especially her long rants on people having commitment issues (lol) and how terrible it is. So how would you handle the situation ? Im sure Deserve more than just being an option for someone who clearly plays with me.
** | gf is dating me and somebody else, and is not sure which one of us choose. How to bring this in a conversation keeping in mind I found this by accidentally grabbing her phone at night |
Recomposer | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_3kvoic | Been playing for years and i've recently just noticed this trend happening more and more over the years. There's a pattern that every game or so, the midlaner demands blue and essentially holds the game hostage if he doesn't get it.
I was just literally in a game where we had an AP xerath bot lane and a AP corki mid lane. We're doing fine in spite of getting an afk for a bit because have insane wave clear and can hold them 4v5 and even win extended fights. I'm the jungler and i'm doing blue and give it to xerath (he was closer at the time) and corki flips. He proceeds to never group and says "until I get blue, you guys are on your own". Doesn't bother me really because we have good clear and stall out but he literally proceeds to do nothing until the next blue. We end up losing because someone took blue again and he decides to once again never group and by the time he got blue and grouped, the enemy team farmed up into late game and won.
Back in season 2-3, I never encountered such entitlement from laners that needed blue. It's not his to take as it's my jungle camps. Even if I didn't take them, the argument could be made that xerath could use it (and more since he is late game AP). I mean this guy was such an ass and that turns me off because it was easily winnable game and not having blue isn't going to kill him. In fact, he could've taken the enemy team's camps as we practically lived on their side of the map but he constantly refuses to take a closer blue.
sigh rant over | an increase in a sense of entitlement in some mid lane centric players that pretty much makes them toxic players. Maybe lyte will smite this guy, he openly says he'd afk in chat |
Natoosh3 | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_3kx3hc | My boyfriend and his ex dated for about two years. When I met him they had just broken up. They still talked for a while but that's a different story.
We've been together now for 7 months and I've met his whole family and everything. I think they're all so great but I don't always get the vibe that they really like me, especially his mom. I ask my boyfriend about it because it bothers me and I admittedly ask about his ex. He said they loved her and didn't understand why they broke up. They were close with her and I'm sure still see her from time to time since she lives in the same town. It's hard not to feel compared, and I always feel like I'm never going to live up to their standards. Thoughts or can anyone relate?
* | boyfriend's family loved his ex, I feel like I'm being compared |
sprinkledsugar | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_3kz5su | We met two years ago while we worked at the same hated government agency. He always made fun of me and flirted with most of the girls who worked with us. I thought he was cute, yet annoying and didn’t really consider him. That was until my birthday. He was upset when he found out it was my birthday and he wasn’t able to get me something. The next day he brought a card and a starbucks giftcard. We ended up flirting a bit and giving it a shot. We even got a little naughty in the back lockerroom. We began dating in April 2013.
While we were dating I struggled to understand his need to sleep. There were weekends when he would basically disappear, zoned out on his bed. As someone with trust issues, it took me awhile to accept that he wasn’t actually doing something else. Oh no, he was sleeping, a lot. I learned to trust him, yet days when he did this made me feel awful. Why? Because when he had these days, I simply wouldn’t hear from him. He wouldn’t send a short text just to tell me he was going to relax all day… I got nothing. It hurt and felt disrespectful.
I bought a house in June 2014. It was a super stressful 6 months of bad news in a seller’s market. My sister (best friend) passed away January 2011 and some of my family became estranged (read: assholes). My dad (secretly at first) turned to crystal meth and heroin, my mom helped, he flunked out of rehab…. I didn’t cope… Not with any of it. I just chose not to think about it.
In August 2014, I found that my bf had been flirtatiously texting his coworker. I was pretty offended by this because, as he described it to me, he was saying to her what I desperately wanted from him: support, validation of accomplishments, attention. Also, she is about 15 years older and I find her wretched, total butterface. It really stung because he would always tell me how annoying she was. It also played into one of my insecurities with him: he is an ass man. I’ve got the face, hair, tits, hips, legs… just sort of like a lego back there. Squats don’t fix genetics (/pointsatdad). Anyway, he said nothing happened aside from grabbing said ass during a hug. I gave him back his keys, took my keys, cried uncontrollably and left.
I bought a house in June 2014. He moved in March 2015. I was hoping this would solve some of the lack of communication parts. I know, stupid girl. He still has those nights/days/weekends where he doesn’t say anything to me. Except now, it hurts worse because he’s sitting right there. I can see him not acknowledging my humanity. He doesn’t have an ounce of empathy when I tell him things. Like another thread here, he used to not even respond when I said things. I finally got him to throw out acknowledgement.
With him and the history above, I was diagnosed with depression in May 2015. I didn’t want to be. I immediately started medicine, therapy, and eventually exercising; I didn’t want to be on those pills forever. Now I feel good. I feel great. I’m slowly getting back to the person I hadn’t realized I left behind. And the more I do that, the worse the bf and I get. I can’t stand to come home and find him passed out; really? You couldn’t send me a text saying you were going to bed? I can’t stand that he has these weekends that borderline his own depression. Mostly, I can’t stand them because I find out about them after they’ve begun and my feelings are already hurt from his behavior. He doesn’t see that his tone, body language, face, and eyes are entirely different.
He thinks I blame him, that I make everything his fault. To me, it’s not blaming. I’m just pointing out the action that causes the problem. I try to be as man-talk as I can. He usually doesn’t look at me. He never makes plans for us; I have to plan my own date night. I don’t even care what we do; it would be nice if he said, “Hey, let’s watch a movie tonight.” Instead, I’m on pins and needles on whether he’s going to pass out, spend all night playing counter strike, or lounge on the couch opposite from me “spending time together.” I don’t fully trust him based on what happened previously.
The good: even when he didn’t live with me, he’d buy groceries and do the dishes. He even helped pay some high veterinarian bills for my dog (who he loves the heck out of now). He helps me with the dog; we rotate days where we go home on lunch to let her out and play with her. I get along really well with his mom. (He doesn’t know this: last week his mom and I went to lunch where we talked about my frustration and the potential he has depression.) The sex is usually amazing; he’s the only guy who has ever brought me to O town (oral and pene, HALLELUJAH!). It has died down a little recently, but I work 10 hour days and hit the gym after so the time just isn’t there. Why? Usually it’s because he stuffs himself too full at dinner. Guys, is that a thing? Food > Sex? Just curious. He admits my sex drive is much higher than his. Last weekend we were happy and had sex twice and he got a BJ. That was the last time we did anything… Yay…
So that’s a lot of. If it’s | that’s okay, keep moving. It’s a big picture kind of problem. Am I crazy? Is he depressed? Are we incompatible? I just need some honest feedback. I’m terrified of losing something mostly good and never finding something close to it again. How can I be someone’s best friend if he doesn’t talk to me? At all? If probed about his feelings he’ll say he’s thirsty or content. One word. When I asked what was wrong, why he felt so bad, why he slept all weekend (and today, he called in sick..) he says he doesn’t know. Does he really not know? I got mad and talked some serious shit Saturday. I apologized and we “made-up” on Sunday… Yet it didn’t feel like it. I feel… lonely. |
Ragnarok099 | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_3xqbnc | Ok, so this situation I am in is long and complicated. I will do my best to condense this to the best of my ability. I met this girl at the beginning of the year in my last semester of college prior to going to law school after she had asked me for notes in one of my classes. From that point she began to talk to me regularly through text and after a couple of weeks we started to hang out. At this point nothing has happened physically. about a month into seeing her regularly she tells me she likes me a lot and I'm the complete opposite of her ex. So I figure this means that we'd actually start dating and I was looking forward to it because for the first time I had met someone who seemed to be driven and had clear motives as to what they wanted for themselves and their future. Needless to say, I was really happy and excited. From this point this is when things start to get weird.
So from a technical standpoint we start dating, then two weeks later she says she still has this guy on her mind. So, instead of being mean or rude I told her she just needed to do what she wanted and I'd be around if she wanted to pick up where we left off. From that point I continued on with school and focused on my motorcycle racing and sparring. Another two weeks go by and apparently she has this huge fall out with the guy and tells me she wants to be with me. So again, I was excited because this time I figured it would last. not Even a week goes by and she basically does the same thing.
To give some background from what I understand of the other guy ( we will call Joe). Joe is (now 27) who, from what I've been told, does terrible in school doesn't have a job, and apparently didn't amount to anything and lives with his parents. Joe is her first everything, i.e., sex, hook up, the whole nine yards. She told me he hit her, threaten to kill her guy friends she hung out with, and in general was very controlling. Further, he was a habitual liar. All of this came from the girl, I have never met this guy in my life.
To continue on with the story, every time we got back together, Joe would say he was sorry and do the standard of buying chocolates, flowers, and going to her work (to the point of stalking her) and beg her to come back. She would then run back. All while telling me she "loved everything about me." All this start around early January. In early April, I finally had the courage to call her out on what was going on. I basically told her, if what you're saying is true this guy in bad news and you're going to get hurt. I can't tell you what to do or control you but I'm more worried about your well-being. The response I got was that I was being manipulative and controlling, and that I didn't know Joe. So I told her that I didn't want to talk to her anymore. Around June she texts me a video of her and her dog and this guy holding the camera and I told her so long as you're with that guy do not text me. She then replies she still thought we were friends and I repeated what I said.
Another Month goes by and in late July I get a text from her saying that everything I said was right and that she was sorry for what happened. I tell her it's ok and that it good she finally stood up for herself and she tells me she didn't do anything. Completely confused I try to be nice and make conversation with her. She keeps going on about what she is doing and I tell her she doesn't owe anyone a thing including me or this guy and yet she stays with him and talks to him after all this apparent stuff that happened.
In August I leave for law school and at this point I'm just talking to her, nothing is going on and at this point I'm starting to get annoyed with the situation.
In September, she joins a club at our university for volleyball and ends up going to a game across the state to play. She asked me to come to the game but I was shoulders deep in case law and briefs and could not leave. While away at this game Joe apparently told her that he was not doing anything over the weekend but then went clubbing with his friends rather than to her game. So they have a huge fallout. She ends up sending me picture of the conversation and I repeated to her the same thing I told her in April and she seemed to be more serious about leaving him than before. So, again, I figure maybe this time she actually means it. So we start talking again and she tells me "she loves everything about me and that I'm perfect." I mean I seriously thought this might all work out and patience would prevail. and this continues into November.
Right before Thanksgiving, I'm texting her (at this point I had assumed she had nothing to do with Joe) and she sends me a picture with someone's arm in the pic and I asked who she was with, thinking maybe she was with someone from soccer. It was Joe, and I asked her why she was hanging what with him after all that happened, she tells me that she was still talking to him but nothing was going on. I got mad, and I think I should handle the situation better because I told her she was a victim of her own demise, and she will have to drag her teeth on rock bottom before realizing what she is doing is going to get her hurt in the long run. and then repeated what I had told the times before. Then I'm called manipulative, controlling, and an asshole. And I told her not to text me again.
About 5 days ago, I get a text from her saying she got some random message from someone and that she was scared; I'm guessing on facebook or something. Trying to be helpful I told her to think about and try to communicate with people that might know who sent it. And she asked why I had not texted her and explained that I didn't want to deal with this crap with Joe and I was tired of it and that if she wanted me to be around he needed to go away. She tells me that she did that for a guy before and wouldn't do it again so we had to come to some agreement. She told me that were not dating and she is focusing on herself and wanted me around. I met her at a bar, and now everytime I see her it's like I'm just wasting time and that I need to pull the plug. But simultaneously, I feel that maybe if I am just patient everything will turn out well. She invites me out (alone) and we talk but I always feel uneasy, if we are standing she puts her head on my shoulder and hugs me, or if we are sitting she leans on me and gets close . I feel like I've been friendzoned, but for some reason I can't get myself out of the situation. It's cyclical but I seriously have no idea what to do, I feel like an idiot but at the same time I don't want to be a complete asshole.
I'm looking for some help with this, I know there is probably some holes in the progression of the story but I'm typing this on my phone so if there are any questions please ask. Thank you in advance for your help it's seriously much appreciated. Honestly, This is the | version. |
[deleted] | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_1v9ihb | I am a rather new player in League of Legends and have not played all the champions, so I do not know how the changes improve or worsen the game with respect to past seasons.
What I am looking for is at a sort of easy to understand | with the most important indsights (i.e. for what I have read it seems Annie will be better at late game thanks to a large cooldown reduction for Tibbers, Riven has been brought down to less overpower levels, etc.)
Thank you very much for your help! |
Mograne | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_1vbdzi | So i'm silver 2. One thing I have been noticing lately is people's picks. While this game is, well, a video game and you're supposed to have fun, I figured that rank was a more even ratio of having fun and wanting to win. So I hopped on today for a few games and lost three in a row.
First game, we have a Shen and Elise. Shen builds mostly AD(mercurial and hydra, then SV and sunfire). Elise builds pure AP(AP jungle item, RoA, rabadons), despite asking for both of them to go tanky. This game was less about picks but our obscenely fed Shen not being able to carry because he was super fed but not tanky enough.
The second game we get a first pick AD teemo that literally gives up first blood 2:30 in(I didn't believe it at first). I understand people want to have fun and play the champs they want, but people even in silver should realize first picking teemo, especially AD, is not a good idea.
Third game was the worst. first 3 picks on the enemy team is karma support/nasus top/fizz middle. I'm last pick and I politely ask for mid or top to be left to me because solo lanes are my best and I can counter both nasus and fizz. Well, our second and third pick decide to go warwick top and AP kog mid, counterpicking both of themselves, which basically directly led us to a 17 minute loss.
Now, this isn't a rage post, everyone loses games and has bad teams, and i'm sure if I was pro I could of carried. But i'm curious, what makes these people do these certain builds/picks? If it's blatantly obvious that your team needs some beef/a tank line, why go almost pure damage? And i'm sure theres some new players in silver but why would you counterpick your self? The kog pick just astounds me, kog has no real escape besides flash/a slow, and fizz is just MADE to own champs with no escapes, and yet...he still picked kog. I asked if he knew fizz's abilities with no reply.
So basically | why do people in silver counter build/counter pick themselves? Why is there no logic? |
[deleted] | TwoXChromosomes | t5_2r2jt | t3_1vezz1 | I'm not sure about making official rules, but I think it would be awesome if the people who post here could make more of an effort to use paragraphs for easier reading. Both in posts and in comments. I'd like to read and comment more often, but it can be very difficult to follow a giant wall of text. Also, | s are great, but I understand that people come here to vent their emotions and may not want to condense their story for the lazy. Any thoughts? |
jardude | wow | t5_2qio8 | t3_1vfcxd | hey guys, so even tho i have an xbox one with 5 games and still need to finish a few games on xbox 360, gta and marvel lego heros, i have been thinkg about playing wow again for a while, and today a coworker re lit the fire and set a scroll or resurrection so i will join his server and switch my toon from horde to alliance. I had a lvl 85 orc hunter. my questions are:
-what ally race suits best for a hunter?
-what addons are must use in todays wow? back in the day i liked titan
-whats the | story of wow from events of cata to today?
-never had an ally toon end game compared to 2 horde end game toons, whats the big dif of ally and horde end game?
-any thing else i wll find way dif from playing in late 2010 to playing to now?
thanks reddit, happy wowing |
[deleted] | TwoXChromosomes | t5_2r2jt | t3_1jsaiy | Whether or not you did the breaking or they did, how did you get over “The One”? I’ve been in a relationship for a little over 7 years. I am 21, he is 23. I have been disgustingly in love with him (and he with me?) since...well, what seems like forever. He was the first person I had sex with and the first person I imagined my whole life with. The whole story is long but the gist is that it is over. I have been so broken for so long but he just said it…. We’re over. How did you get over it? Thanks in advance!
EDIT: | originally not added because well...I'm slightly intoxicated and hurt at the moment. Thank you "AutoMods" of /r/relationships for enforcing the rules ;)...Whomp : /
Edit 2: An added layer to the whole thing is that we live together, like room mates with separate rooms and what-not. We dated 6 or so years before we moved in together. |
[deleted] | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_1jsl31 | Hello friends!
I'm Lindsay! I used to work as a video host for Curse Gaming. Well, I've been working with some good friends to make videos every week about the League Championship Series on one of my two my channels, the League Sports Network.
We have a deep passion for competitive League games, the eSports community, the game itself and Riot Gaming, which is why we do what we do. I've been posting my videos incorrectly the past few weeks (derp), so I wanted to give a thread a try to see if r/leagueoflegends has constructive ways on how we can improve our videos. We're open to any and all suggestions and, really really, thanks in advance for your time and help.
So. Without further ado, here are our two videos recapping the League Championship Series for Week 8. The show is called The League's Direction in Review ( | and here are the latest episodes.
The EU LCS:
The NA LCS:
Thanks for reading (and watching, if you're interested!) and game on! :) |
bob_targaryen | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_1jttcg | Hello friends!
I'm Lindsay! I used to work as a video host for Curse Gaming. Well, I've been working with some good friends to make videos every week about the League Championship Series on one of my two my channels, the League Sports Network.
We have a deep passion for competitive League games, the eSports community, the game itself and Riot Gaming, which is why we do what we do. I've been posting my videos incorrectly the past few weeks (derp), so I wanted to give a thread a try to see if r/leagueoflegends has constructive ways on how we can improve our videos. We're open to any and all suggestions and, really really, thanks in advance for your time and help.
So. Without further ado, here are our two videos recapping the League Championship Series for Week 8. The show is called The League's Direction in Review ( | and here are the latest episodes.
The EU LCS:
The NA LCS:
Thanks for reading (and watching, if you're interested!) and game on! :) |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_1jxlha | Sorry for the long long story!:( I messed up the title sorry, I'm 19 and shes 17 right now.
So I'm 19, I've had anxiety and depression since I was a little kid. Following my junior year in college I met this girl she was a freshman at the time, I'll call her Anna.
I had never met a girl I didn't have any signs of anxiety around until I met her, I never felt closed in or feeling sick or throwing up around her. We were friends for a year before we started dating, she knew I had anxiety but had never seen it or knew what it was. We started dating my senior year in high school, I fell in love with her, we lost both our virginity's to each other and we had a great relationship that lasted 6 months.. until the end.
We had some problems and stupidity I broke up with her after she said some things that really hurt me. After we did we still hung out all the time cause obviously I stilled loved her alot and was expecting us to get back together. That went well for a while until one day she wouldn't reply, avoided me in the hallways at school(last 1 1/2 month of school) and I couldn't get a reasoning behind it.
She eventually told me she was confused and needed space and didn't really have a reason for doing it. I suddenly experienced the worst anxiety and depression I've ever had in my life following this. All summer I've just wanted to hear her and or hangout but she left all summer for a summer camp and just came back a week ago. She says I'm too attached and she doesn't like me anymore like before.
I understand and said I just wanted to be friends again, and after some talking she agreed to hangout with me tomorrow(I'm crossing my fingers). I know I've heard it before to move on from her, my friends and my parents but mentally I can't. I can't stop thinking about her, and when I do i just feel like crying because of how much I miss her. She told me before she came back home she liked another guy that I've heard of before, and I really felt it in my chest.
I have met other girls but I always ruin it when I think of her. I would love to just move on but I'm having like a mental block from letting me. I just don't want to lose my best friend completely, she means so much to me. obviously if she felt the same way she would be begging to hangout with me. I don't want this to be a usual teen misses ex kind of thing because it means more than that for me. I want to just let go, I tried for 2 months to not text her and to just move on..Didn't work.
Any ideas?
: | me and ex broke up, can't get over losing my best friend and the person I do love. |
evilsearat | Games | t5_2qhwp | t3_1p1oef | Last week [we talked about the various reasons as to why Alan Wake has not taken off as a franchise]( such as the likes of Silent Hill and Dead Space. Personally I'd like to thank everybody that contributed because it was a really eye-opening look at what is a very interesting moment in recent gaming history. People offered a ton of insight as to what went wrong on the business end of the creation of this game but also shed a lot of light on what they loved and hated about the game itself.
Having just finished the original game and the two DLCs this past weekend I put together this [Quick Time Event Review - Alan Wake]( that takes into consideration the points brought up in the discussion as well as a few that I personally found important while playing through the game. We also talked a bit about it last night on [the QTE podcast]( if anybody is interested in a little further discussion.
The | is more or less this: Alan Wake had a lot of great ideas, especially in terms of characters and storytelling, but the experience was marred by over-emphasis on a novel yet overly grindy combat system. Also, The Writer is easily the best segment of the whole game.
If anyone is interested in exploring this type of amateur games writing in terms of diving deep into games and really capturing your own personal experience with them we are always looking for contributors. Games are such a subjective experience, some more than others, and we at [The Quick Time Event]( are trying to put together something of a collaborative gaming blog that collects the personal experiences of our little subculture. r/games has always been a great place to find discussion and analysis so I thought that this would be a good place to look for anyone that is interested.
Anyway, thanks for the discussion! |
CSDragon | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_1p2xj8 | As a player who's always been in the duo lane since I started playing MOBAs 4 years ago and moved to League 2 years ago, and played both Support and Hard/AD Carry near exclusively up to Plat 1, I can say I know a little about how the roles work, and I'm seeing a massive issue with all this talk about increasing support gold.
The reason the support role exists in the first place is because of how gold works in MOBAs. The more gold you have the more powerful you are and the more gold you can get. Ever cent you get early game has an exponential effect on how strong you are at 20/30/40 minutes etc, and in all MOBAs there's one role that scales hardest with gold, more than any other role. In League, this is the ADC.
Therefore, logically, you want to funnel as much gold into that player as possible, as in a game with 5 players, the team with 4 average players, 1 huge player and 1 small player will beat a team of 5 average players, because the player fed lots of gold early can snowball. Therefore, the idea to create a role who could funnel all their cash into the rest of the team, but specifically the Hard/AD carry was born, a role that didn't need much gold to be proficient, a supportive role.
So what's this have to do with S4 giving supports more gold? No matter what they do to increase the amount of gold supports get, the team that finds a way to move as much of that gold potential from their support to their carries, specifically the AD Carry will win.
Supports aren't broke because they don't have any gold potential, they're broke because any gold they get is a loss of gold potential for a teammate. But gold potential the support loses isn't just in gold not gained, every 75 gold the support player spends on wards, especially early game, is 75 gold another player can snowball off of. Every oracles the support buys is 400 more gold pottential for a carry. Every 3105 gold a support spends on Aegis of the Legion is 760 gold each other player doesn't have to spend on MR and HP/5. Even if you increase global gold gains and nerf gold from CSing to compensate, you're actually giving more gold potential to the carries who have to worry even less about buying defensive items and wards as the support has more gold to cover it for them. Not to mention it would reduce the value of being skilled at CSing.
The same hold true with junglers. "Donating" wraiths and buffs is inuring a loss of gold potential on yourself to increase that of your carries.
Because getting the most gold on the right people wins the game, and carry junglers and carry supports just can't do as much with the same amount of gold as carry carries can, and conversely carries can't do as much without gold as junglers and supports can.
The simple fact is ( | the more gold a support gets or has the potential to get, is just more gold they have to sacrifice for the team . Support power must be power given without gold . I may only be plat, but as a support player I truly do feel giving more gold to supports is the wrong way to go and will only increase the number of selfish mid-lane supports. Supports should have large base values and very low scaling so they can be powerful without gold, but not overpowered when they do get it.
Edited for spelling. |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_1p3cpx | Let me start of by saying my daughter is my best friend. I love her so much. She is kind, honest, and she cares about everyone. She always manages to see the good in people, which I think is almost a bad thing.
Everything was great for her. She was well-liked, is very bright, and is very athletic. Until homecoming...
The Monday after the dance she was cold and kept saying how she wanted to be alone. She stopped eating. So I talked to her.
She said she didn't want to tell me, but her and this senior slept together on homecoming night. THAT'S the reason she came home late- not because she wanted to sleep or her best friend's like she previously had said. Every day now she experiences heartless taunts, as the boy told everyone all the details in a mocking manner.
I'm not really concerned about the whole losing virginity thing; my love for my daughter doesn't come from whether or not her hymen is intact. She's also been on the pill since 14 to regulate her cycles.
What I'm concerned about are the new cuts on her wrist, and the fact that not even her mother can talk to her about it. All I know is that she can't even run cross country without some random individual rolling down their car window to scream "slut" at her.
I asked her is she was drunk or if the boy put pressure on her, but she doesn't want to talk about it. She simply says "Oh my god it's my own fault I was the dumb ass I deserve it stop making excuses for me."
This breaks my heart. Please help!
** | my daughter is being bullied and refuses to talk to me. Help me. |
[deleted] | AskWomen | t5_2rxrw | t3_1p5ze5 | So blah blah, never talked to her, have liked her for over a month, been thinking about saying something when i realize this
Holy dumb fuck she is so much more attractive than she was a year ago
While i'll admit i would have never noticed her a year ago, she is simply stunning in comparison, everything from makeup to a new hair cut, one thing is seemingly apparent. She wants to be noticed
This all leads me to believe she would never have the slightest interest in a less-than-average guy like myself (while i have been told I do have a very nice personality by someone other than my mother)
So | my theory is "She is trying to look better to, overall, avoid guys like me that come off as a, simply put, overweight and unattractive
Can anyone tell me if, getting a better guy is the only reason a girl would change their appearance so drastically? |
LeeBusch | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_1p6l2u | Hello league reddit!
First of all, I would like to express how glad I am with the new setting system ingame.
But it would be really appreciated if Riot could add an "advanced" mouse setting tab, where you can type the exact mouse speed number you need. This tab are in most other games, and I do really appreciate that option.
> | add a "advanced" mouse tab to get an exact mouse speed.
Suggestion : |
Seanosilas | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_1p70dt | Hey guys.
About four months ago I joined LOL after playing about five hundred worth of hours of DotA2, I'd always play with my friends in normals and do really well and carry. So when I was thirty I was sure I could get to Gold/Silver so easily, boy was I wrong.
I lost most of my promos just to me being over ballsy and bad and I was placed in Bronze IV. So then I realized I had a couple months to get to Silver and I'll start in October... So when It was October I started, I was confident I could climb to Silver V atleast by the end of the season. But I just can't do it? The highest I've gotten to is Bronze 3 with 49LP even then I went on a massive losing streak, I was demoted back into Bronze 4 and then back into Bronze 3 rinse and repeat.
And now I've just given up slighlty, I mean sometimes it's the AFK'ers or the trolls that just fed int... I try not to blame it on my team, but I don't know what I'm doing exactly. So I'm wondering if I can get some help and tips? Some motivations stories etc.
( | bronze shitter wants out of bronze and needs help with it) |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_1p8xhv | Basically after high school we started dating and everything was going fine but when university offers came out it kind of got a bit weird. I got the offer to the university I wanted and she did to hers. Only hers was in another state (yes Australian here). Mind you the state was not far off and it is about a 3 hour drive.
We didn't really talk about it and in the end she left for her university without us really talking about where we were at so it was almost like an unspoken agreement for a long distance relationship. Only thing was that I was a bit uncomfortable about this and after a month into university I told her we should be just friends due to distance etc. and being as pedantic as I am I almost forced through the point in our conversation " ...but yeah haha just clarifying we're friends is all" etc.
Months go by. She still talks to me constantly, basically everyday. Texting, Facebook and I still think she's a great person but I'm also a but wary to not lead her on. My friends are still pretty sure she's interested but I kind of brushed it off as close friends. Whenever she's back she tells me to see if we can meet up but about half the time I say no because I'm dead busy (I train in the gym, rugby training and university work) and because I know if I do it'll seem like I'm still very interested.
This is kind of routine for a good while till recently. Essentially I got an offer from a huge firm (most of you will know it)to study and work FULL time for the next few years so obviously I couldn't reject an opportunity like this. It basically will set me up for a good future so my busy days are now literally pushed to the limit. I work 9-5 ( on a good day), hit the gym, catch up on uni work. The whole time she is still talking with me, inviting me over when she's back.
A month ago I took her to a company ball (looking back it was a stupid move) as at the event she made a pass and I kindly rejected. When the night ended I put her in a cab home despite her saying I could stay over. Since then she has tried to talk to me and I sometimes respond but tbh personally when I see a message I don't always respond ASAP and end up forgetting. This was in combination with just there being alot of pressure from work,uni and sporting commitments. This ended about 2 weeks ago where I have not spoken to her at all but the other night after a university party the after party was at a club that I knew her cousin was a manager and I kind of name dropped to stop a friend getting kicked out. I was obviously smashed but despite that I look back and it was a poor move which I was let known today when she sent me an angry/sad text, her brother has had a rant at me saying how "never liked me, she just followed you blindly and she tried to make it work etc." It was all a bit of a shock but I could care less what he thinks but it's more her. I feel a bit sad inside that supposedly she has a 24 year old boyfriend from her uni now even though it was me who wanted it over but I'm not sure how to part it on good terms. I've tried to call her and she's just responded saying she's at dinner and won't be able to talk all night. How should I go about it?
I should also say though. That while we were dating we did nothing more than make out even though she was really keen just because I felt it would attach her more which would be a bad move IMO. So it's not like I was horny and desperate using her for sex.
** | messy several month breakup. |
[deleted] | Fitness | t5_2qhx4 | t3_1p90t0 | Hi Fitness,
I've been going to the gym, lifting, cutting, bulking, monitoring my diet for 5 years now, I've made some spectacular achievements, and I'm very happy with my transformation. However, recently, I've been having issues.
I'm currently 20, in my second year of University. My SO and I are in a long distance-term-time-relationship. We see each other regularly during summer, easter/spring break and the holidays/christmas break. I only see her weekends at a time, every two weeks during term time. As most of you here will know, it sucks to miss workouts, maybe this is more r/bodybuilding, but I feel stressed and depressed when I miss a workout, besides going to Uni it's all I do. When I visit my SO, or when she visit's me, I'm forced to miss my workouts otherwise she will go completely off it for the weekend, ruining it for the both of us. If I miss it, I get sad, although I try not to show it, however she gets mad because I'm mad at her. Yeah, I can't win. She feels like I'm abandoning her, or wanting to get away from her, when it's not like that at all, it's part of me, my routine, my lifestyle. I've tried asking her to come with me, but she doesn't want to go the gym, she'd rather just go running.
I have anxiety, I'm not very social (duh, I'm on Reddit), the gym and my workouts are all I have as an outlet to release all my tension, I relax there, I enjoy what I do. I pains me to miss it, and it pains me even more to upset people because of it.
In short: | my SO and my workouts can't coexist. Help or advice would be appreciated. |
AdamBombTV | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_1cez7k | So, because of that title, you're probably thinking "Easy... jealous of the Friendship you two have".
Here is where it's complicated...
My GF has extreme epilepsy, she has on average 1 seizure a day and is on one of the strongest medications there are for it. Light, Heat, Cold, Stress, sickness, all this and more can set it off... but I'm fine with it, I really am, I've seen the worst it can do and I can deal with it to help her through the hard patches.
I mention this because it's pretty integral to the problem I have.
I have a female best friend, we've been friends for 10 years now, it started as mutual flirting but quickly turned to friendship once we both realised that there was nothing there for each other.
Now one of her friends is my GF's ex boyfriend, and he is a drug user (I'm not against drugs if taken responsibly... he doesn't take responsibly), and my Girlfriend is under the suspicion that he drugged her whilst they were together and this triggered her epilepsy (this was 4 years ago).
With me so far?
Good.
So my friend is backing up the ex because they've been friends longer then I've been friends with her, and doesnt believe he could drug someone.
My girlfriend doesn't want anything to do with my friend or her ex and wants me to cut off ties with them.
I just want to get out of the middle of this situation I've been thrown into.
My GF has told me that she's worried that my friend will drive a wedge between us, and that she freaks out and has seizures whenever I get in contact or my friend gets in contact with me. (She actually had the most severe seizure I've seen the other night, stopped breathing a few times).
So thats the short of it, if there are any questions I'll gladly answer them when I get the chance.
To | this...
GF loves me, I love GF
GF hates BF because BF is F with GF's Ex (who may have drugged her)
BF is backing Ex because she doesn't think he is capable.
GF wants me to stop having contact with BF because of undue stress causes Seizures.
I just want us all to be happy. |
[deleted] | sex | t5_2qh3p | t3_wse5c | My SO and I have been together for over a year. I hadn't been with someone for over 4 years when we started being intimate. We used to have great sex and fuck like bunnies all day for 6 months. For health reasons, we weren't intimate for about 6 months. We are both healthy now, but our sex life has not improved.
My SO initiates the sex most of the time. I feel guilty because sometimes I avoid it and make excuses not to have sex. Don't get me wrong- I absolutely love him and find him very attractive, but I am bored with our sex life. Sometimes, I would rather masterbate than have sex with him.
When my SO initiates sex, he kisses me, I kiss back and he would immediately take down my pants, grab me then tries to have sex. Another way he initiates sex is by saying that he wants to cuddle and will lay against me with a boner and then push against me. Both of these moves are a turn off to me because I don't feel loved. I know he loves me, but getting it on like this all the time doesn't appeal to me anymore. I feel like his expectations makes me feel pressured to have sex with him even though I'm not in the mood. Most of the time we would have sex when he does that, but I've grown tired of it. He will usually stop initiating the sex at that moment and we'll go back to cuddling or whatever activity we were doing before.
I've told my SO several times that I like foreplay and sex isn't comfortable or fun for me when we have sex immediately. The way he initiates sex gives me no time to get turned on and when I try to hold it off so I can get myself in the mood, we end up not having sex. I've told him that it takes longer for me to be ready and even though he is ready to get it on, it doesn't mean that I am. I've said that I want to be romanticized and seduced because I feel objectified when he grabs me and expects sex from me.
My SO still initiates sex the same way 90 percent of the time. I do see that he is putting in effort because he tries to eat me out to turn me on. I don't know if there's something wrong with me, I don't like it when he's only doing it so I would have sex with him. Sometimes when he gives me oral, I try to be constructive with his oral and tell him where to lick to make me feel good and where it doesn't. He still likes pay attention to the spots that don't give me much pleasure and he tells me he enjoys licking those spots (labia, vaginal opening). I don't mind that he licks those spots since it gives him pleasure, but becomes a problem when he doesn't pay enough attention to my pleasure spots (clitoris) to get me wet or turn me on. I've tried to compare this situation to his penis and balls- how he doesn't care for me playing with his balls, so I focus on his penis. (Side note: I give my SO blow jobs all the time- spontaneously like when he's playing video games and during foreplay. Of course I expect sex at the end when I am giving him BJs during foreplay but when I give him spontaneous BJs, I do it because I love him and enjoy seeing him pleasured. I just want him to do these things so he can pleasure ME, not because he wants something from me.)
Then, when we do have sex, my SO does the positions he enjoys and fucks away. I was fine with this in the beginning of our relationship- I liked his dominance and we started off with a purely sexual relationship. But we eventually fell in love and got into a real relationship. Our relationship has changed but our sex is the same as it was when we first started hooking up.
My SO just doesn't seem to get it. I want to save our sex life, but don't know how to communicate with him in a way so he will understand without offending him or killing his ego.
REDDIT PLEASE HELP! What do I do? What do I say? Any advice will be much appreciated it!
<b> | b> I am bored with my sex life. I've tried to be constructive and communicate my needs, but my SO doesn't seem to get it. What do you suggest I do or say to improve my sex life? |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_wvazw | She's 22, I'm 23 (today is my birthday, horray...we just had a big fight), been together for 3.5 years. She's the only person I've ever been with.
I really don't know what to do. I really love her. She's usually very caring, loving, smart, funny, very attractive, but I don't know if I can handle being with her anymore.
Lately it seems like all i've been doing is just trying to keep her happy because she is always unhappy or in a bad mood. If something she does bothers me, I never say anything about it, otherwise it will cause fights. When the tiniest thing doesn't go her way, she always blames me and ends up in a bad mood for hours.
She is incredibly irritable all the time, and always speaks to me with an annoyed tone. If I'm handing her a drink, for example, and her hands are full with something else, she'll snap at me telling me her hands are full, instead of telling me to hang on for a second while she empties her hands. If she's on the phone and I ask her a very simple but yes/no question she'll absolutely flip out and tell me she can't handle two people talking to her at once, and still not answer the question.
She is very insecure. I am constantly asked if "she is pretty", "is she hot", etc. (girls on the street, girls in movie scenes, the random pics of girls you see on reddit). OF COURSE I say no, what the hell am I supposed to say? But she'll put herself into a bad mood just thinking about it anyway. This has a huge affect on my decisions. Simply choosing a movie to watch is not possible, I need to take into consideration if there are any sex scenes that would make her insecure, cause her to be unhappy, which ruins both of our nights.
I've never cheated on her in any way, or done anything else to make her insecure. I tell her all the time, truthfully, how beautiful and smart I think she is. I don't really know what I can do to help her get over her insecurity.
Anyway. I don't know what to do. Its very, very draining on me to have to be a constant source of happiness.
Since its my first relationship, I really dont even know where to start. Should I keep trying to help her get over her insecurity? Should I just end the relationship?
Thanks to those who read it all, but heres the | for those with less time I spend my days constantly trying to cheer up my GF because she's always in a bad mood. Whenever something doesn't go her way, it's always my fault, and causes instant bad mood. GF is basically an eggshell and I need to be very careful with what i say around her. I don't know if I should break up. |
sadbfguy | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_wvbwd | She's 22, I'm 23 (today is my birthday, horray...we just had a big fight), been together for 3.5 years. She's the only person I've ever been with.
I really don't know what to do. I really love her. She's usually very caring, loving, smart, funny, very attractive, but I don't know if I can handle being with her anymore.
Lately it seems like all i've been doing is just trying to keep her happy because she is always unhappy or in a bad mood. If something she does bothers me, I never say anything about it, otherwise it will cause fights. When the tiniest thing doesn't go her way, she always blames me and ends up in a bad mood for hours.
She is incredibly irritable all the time, and always speaks to me with an annoyed tone. If I'm handing her a drink, for example, and her hands are full with something else, she'll snap at me telling me her hands are full, instead of telling me to hang on for a second while she empties her hands. If she's on the phone and I ask her a very simple but yes/no question she'll absolutely flip out and tell me she can't handle two people talking to her at once, and still not answer the question.
She is very insecure. I am constantly asked if "she is pretty", "is she hot", etc. (girls on the street, girls in movie scenes, the random pics of girls you see on reddit). OF COURSE I say no, what the hell am I supposed to say? But she'll put herself into a bad mood just thinking about it anyway. This has a huge affect on my decisions. Simply choosing a movie to watch is not possible, I need to take into consideration if there are any sex scenes that would make her insecure, cause her to be unhappy, which ruins both of our nights.
I've never cheated on her in any way, or done anything else to make her insecure. I tell her all the time, truthfully, how beautiful and smart I think she is. I don't really know what I can do to help her get over her insecurity.
Anyway. I don't know what to do. Its very, very draining on me to have to be a constant source of happiness. Since its my first relationship, I really dont even know where to start. Should I keep trying to help her get over her insecurity? Should I just end the relationship?
Thanks to those who read it all, but heres the | for those with less time I spend my days constantly trying to cheer up my GF because she's always in a bad mood. Whenever something doesn't go her way, it's always my fault, and causes instant bad mood. GF is basically an eggshell and I need to be very careful with what i say around her. I don't know if I should break up.
UPDATE Thanks so much for reading, everyone. I have tried talking to her about it before, so now I'm going to do what another redditor suggested and write her a letter. Will keep this post updated, for those who are interested .
UPDATE # 2 Sorry for getting back so late. We had a very long talk and I'm glad to say that we're still together. She acknowledged that she has some problems and made a promise to work things out. She gave me tips on how to tell her she's being crabby, without making things worse. Hopefully things go a lot smoother from now on. Thanks again for reading!
Update 3 (Aug 19th) Broke up. Guess I saw it coming. Basically we have been fighting more than ever, and she always apologizes and says she'll change. But its the same shit the next day. I know all of this seems like she's the only person doing anything wrong, and you dont have her side of the story. I've asked her many times, and I always get the "Its me, not you", answer. I just cant believe she'd treat me like that for no reason, so i keep thinking it must have been something I did. After the break-up, she tells me on the phone that one of the things I did was not give her enough space. This is total bullshit, I would have given her space if she asked for it, but every time she gets off work, she calls me and tells me to go over to her place to hang out. Not once have I ever heard this statement while we were still dating.
Thanks for reading all of this crap. Even though you're all strangers, and BECAUSE you're all strangers, i'm glad i read what you had to say. I could have stayed in the relationship, waiting for the day she'd treat me with respect, but who knows if that day would have ever come. This is one of the few things in life that I can say i LITERALLY tried my best at. Live and learn. |
47bennyg | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_wxw1z | Hi. 18M dating 18F for 3 months. Girlfriend has a steady minimum-wagish job and I have occasional gigs I play to make some money but she consistantly makes more. She occasionally offers to pay when I take her out, I always refuse out of my pathetic attempt to be chivalrous.
However, this sometimes puts a restriction on where we go and how frequently since I make no money. I know gender roles are changing and men are not the absolute providers in relationships and families anymore but I like having the ability to pay for her and frankly I feel embarrassed if she does. Any thoughts of whether I'm being a selfish jerk or otherwise?
EDIT: | want to know if it's acceptable to let girl pay for dates sometimes. |
MrNippleLicker | sex | t5_2qh3p | t3_1hkz6w | Stories and shit accepted.
Edit: Due to popular demand (not really) I'll share with you my last experience!
It was a dark, stormy night. We had just finished a scary movie when I made my move. I-- | we had sex . It was pretty great, and that was exactly one year ago day before yesterday. Happy sexless year anniversary. |
aspiegamerproblem | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_1hlrag | This is a throwaway, I don't want it to lead back to me.
I don't live with my mom, and I haven't for over a year, but I usually visit once a week. She has been playing WoW since 2005, and has been an addict ever since, though she doesn't see it. What addicts do? So, she doesn't work, she doesn't have a car, she doesn't keep house, it's all about this game and her boyfriend (who is long distance, visits every 2 weeks). I have to carry her to the grocery store (note: it's a 1 hour drive to and from), and run her errands and have to even send off mail for her because she can't afford it. Her only source of income is child support from our father and food stamps and any money her boyfriend gives her.
She is an ex-drug addict, a felon, and has always had everything handed to her by her parents. Her mom died last year and it's only progressively gotten worse. She has never had to work to pay her bills, for a car, for entertainment money, for school supplies - NOTHING. My grandparents footed every bill. Now that her mother is gone, her father can't afford to support her and has stopped, so she is without car and without extra money. She affords the rent for her home through a home she is renting out that is owned by my grandfather. It is believed (no facts) that my mother's brother now has power of attorney over my grandfather to control his finances and any property once he dies, but that is a whole different subject. My uncle hates my mother (and me) and wants to prohibit her or my brother and I from getting anything, though my brother and I have done nothing but be her children.
My brother has aspergers, which is a high functioning form of autism for those who don't know. He is almost 16, and is one of the worst people I have ever associated with. He's so rude, he can't do anything for himself, he doesn't know how to wash clothes, he doesn't care for personal hygiene, doesn't do chores. ALL he does is go to school (when in session) and play on his computer(s). He failed subjects last year because my mom doesn't parent - she doesn't make him do anything, she doesn't spend time with him, she's even said she's lucky if she sees him a couple times a week (now that school is out). My brother is not getting the life skills that he so desperately needs. When 18 years rolls around, he's going to be stuck with a thumb up his ass. He's so disrespectful, and he ignores everyone. My mom ignores all responsibility because of her game thus all my brother does is play games all day. My brother desperately needs therapy, but he never goes because of lack of vehicle. There is no public transportation where they live.
Now that there is background, my problem is what to do with this information. I don't feel it is right for me to know this yet do nothing about it, but I don't know what avenues to take. I'm so terrified that if I tell, something will happen to her, thus something will happen to my brother, and I don't know how to handle it. I can take him in, but I don't know how to raise a 16 year old, esp. given his background. I want him to get what he needs and deserves, and I want her to get off her ass and start trying at life.
The reason I am posting this is because yesterday I visited them, and was ignored for 2 hours because they were both on their computers playing the whole time. When I tried to speak to either of them I was ignored or disrespected immensely. I only brought them food to eat since my mom doesn't get her stamps until later in the month. I am sick and tired of this situation. I have a baby coming into this world soon and I refuse to let them be surrounded by this. Please help. Is she being a bad mother? Am I being unreasonable? Should I continue trying to keep my nose out of their business?
I'm VERY sure there are a lot of details I'm leaving out which would influence your decision, but this is what is at hand, and the pertinent information. I never realized just how fucked up everything was until I moved out. Yes, I have tried to talk to her about this but she gets defensive and never sees the problem is her. She has said she's very depressed because she doesn't have a job to do anything but I'm just like...well, she shouldn't have gone her whole adult life doing nothing and depending on others. She knows it's her fault but she still does nothing to fix it, blames it on not having a vehicle, which leads back to being a 44 year old not having any responsibilities her entire life. -_-
EDIT:I think it's worth noting that my mom has been to jail multiple times, rehab twice. She is currently on probation. If she fucks up in any way while she is on probation, they will throw her in prison for the remainder of her probation.
** | mom doesn't parent, ignores child. what should i do with this information?** |
Eyes_Sewn_Shut | sex | t5_2qh3p | t3_1ht7ui | I'll start off by immediately saying my boyfriend and I are very much equals and we typically keep that balance as much as we can in general. As for the bedroom, we usually make sure we are both satisfied, though one of us can occasionally be more giving (like I'll do stuff for him when I'm on my period and he will be more giving in return after I'm done with the period, for example).
I've been talking with him about BDSM and power shifting for a little bit, and we are interested, as I've naturally always had an interest in submission. He is mostly okay with that, though he is afraid to be too dominant in fear of hurting me. I've encouraged him to be a little more assertive at times and to not worry, I'll tell him if I'm uncomfortable, blah blah blah. That's fine.
But my main issue is that I've got low self esteem and constantly require attention and acknowledgement, whether I am with him alone, if we're with friends, with family, etc... and it's caused a lot of issues, as I've dealt with things like depression in the past, and I'm still dealing with anxiety. Basically I am very prone to freaking out and becoming attention seeking, sad, or irritable if I feel like I'm not getting my way a lot.
Lately I've been able to tell he's losing more and more patience with me... but I don't blame him for it. I deserve it. I do. He does not abuse me, and it is incredible how patient he's been with me and how loving and understanding he is. But lately I've been getting to the point of becoming disgusted about how selfish I've been acting, how much I whine yet refuse to change situations in my life...and basically I want to gain control by losing it.
He is the only person I have in my life right now. I am not close with my family and my friends are not who they used to be.
So when it comes to submission in the bedroom, I basically am trying to get him to see that I am admitting my mistakes. I am letting my defenses down. I want him to take control for me because I otherwise am very controlling and stubborn in my own life, but all in negative light... and I hate that I drag him into my own insecurities.
My selfishness and issues appear in my ways in my life... it would only make sense to try to combat all of its facets.
So, | do any of you think there could be a link between learning how to be humble and submissive to one's SO in general if started in the bedroom?
He seems to not fully support the idea, but I WANT him to see that he's been right. I WANT to be broken down. I am sick of being selfish and trying to raise my own needs above his. I want to restore that balance.
I would appreciate comments, suggestions, critiques, and especially ideas if anyone would like to give me any for help encouraging him to be more dominant and me to be more submissive. |
[deleted] | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_15hdox | So the biggest problem I have with ranked is people who say they are going to feed in champ select because they didn't get the role they wanted and someone else dodges because they know they are going to lose. My idea:
When you get matched into a game, It doesn't match you with an opposing team. Rather it matches you only with your team and your team can discuss what roles you each want before getting matched up with another team. Each person has the ability to dodge with little penalty. If someone dodges, it just gets another person to take his spot rather than restarting the matchmaking. A team can also boot a teammate and no one gets a penalty. When you have a team you like, you can start the game and go into champ select with an opposing team. This will stop people from trolling because it makes it easier to get the role you want and cause people to be nicer before the game because if they are trollers they will just get booted and matched with another team. I realize this system can be abused but I think its an improvement on the current state.
If you leave in champ select, the same penalty applies as now.
Edit: | get matched with your teammates before getting matched with opponents. If someone dodges, just fill in the empty spot rather than restarting matchmaking |
[deleted] | tifu | t5_2to41 | t3_15iv3d | I was in the middle off the hall my little cousin ran and slipped on the carpet and you know what was behind me on top of the carpet A fucking steel ladder the size of the hall, In retrospect a better title would have been Today I got fucked up TIGFU
[ | removed] |
[deleted] | summonerschool | t5_2t9x3 | t3_15jv2t | My friends and I have recently hit 30 and have started playing some ranked 3v3, from what I understand it isn't very balance but we enjoy playing it and I would like some advice on a couple things. We are currently hovering around 1150-1200 ELO and want to improve
First and foremost, what are some good team compositions we should be trying out? I understand there is meta involved with picking and counter picking but just to get the basics down what would you guys suggest? We don't really have a plan at all when we are picking our champions as to what synergizes well with each other we just really pick what we feel like playing. Our bans usually look like this - Olaf/Singed/Jax/Darius/Amumu (In that order, pretty common bans from what I've seen from opponents as well.)
Secondly, most of our games are either way ahead or way behind, meaning we either completely crush them every step of the way or lose virtually lose before the 10 minute mark, is this common on TT? What is the general strategy we should be doing? Most of the time we try 1 top 2 bot with going for ganks when lanes are pushed/opportune times. We have also tried 1 top 1 bot 1 jungle strategy with very little success, I have seen a few higher elo TT streamers do that with a lot of success (Sam in particular I watch often) but we cannot get it down at the moment though I'm sure its due to our lower skill level not being able to use the advantage of a good jungler.
Sorry for the | appreciate any and all comments/advice
Thanks! :) |
Bunchacruncha | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_15pdcr | In by far what has been the most healthy and fulfilling relationship of my life, I see no reason to wait. We've had our disagreements, but they are always resolved civilly and quickly. We get along amazingly well, are madly on love, and we each get along extremely well with the other's family. I've been in plenty of relationships before, and this one is clearly in an entirely different genre. The core of our relationship feels absolutely rock solid, and when I think of all of the reasons that I've seen relationships fail, I cannot see them applying to us.
We both value goodness above all else and make a concerted effort to communicate entirely openly with each other at all times. (for example, we had a disagreement over an issue a few days ago. In what could've turned into a huge fight or stoney silence in another couple, we talked it out in 15 minutes and were then thanking the other for being so understanding and honest.)
I know it seems like a short time to have dated someone, but I've spent the last 10 years working on myself (and she has done the same) and I feel as though that is the "time" that I needed.
I do see the point that there is no hurry, but when it both feels and logically seems to be so right, why wait?
Edit for | amazing healthy relationship with open communication and a shared commitment to doing what's right. Why should I wait to propose? |
songbird22 | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_15pwcg | I have been depressed for years, but in the past few years, improved quite a lot. About four years ago, I got out of a semi-abusive relationship with my ex, started dating my current boyfriend who treats me better than anyone ever has, and have generally been much more stable.
However, I have been becoming increasingly depressed again in the past few months. I've been "disowned" by my family because they don't approve of me dating someone outside of my race, and they keep doing fucked up things that make me crazy (for example, cornering my childhood friend when they bump into her to grill her about me; showing up unexpectedly at a concert I was hired to do (I am a professional classical singer); sending me strange, threatening emails.) More recently, my extended family pretended like they were going to support my relationship with my bf by inviting us both to Christmas, only to uninvite us literally two days before the holiday, leaving me with no plans on Christmas. I also have a lot of financial issues because I am in graduate school, and I work like a dog because I am trying to pursue a career in classical music, so I pretty much never have time for myself and I am constantly stressed to the point of exhaustion.
Lately, I have been feeling extremely self-harming and suicidal, and I don't know how to share this with my boyfriend without scaring him. I have made some references to it, such as, "I know no one would care if I died" or "no one would notice if I was gone" which I know is not the best way to go about things but it is honestly how I feel. The other problem is that I am in such an insane state lately that, when I get in a fight with him, it is like the depression in me takes over to a crazy degree. For example, last night, I drank a ton, was already feeling extremely depressed/self harming, and we got in a fight, and I was so upset that I thought about killing myself and even poured out a bunch of pills that I thought might work to kill me. I ended up taking a few and getting scared, so I stopped.
He knows I've struggled with depression and that I have been suicidal but he doesn't know how bad it is right now. He has even told me in the past that he is happy that I am so stable/so much better now, but he doesn't know that I've slipped back into my old ways. If it weren't for him and the fact that he'd notice, I would definitely self harm again. He notices everything, though, even when I tried to self harm somewhere no one would see.
I feel as though I am going to be disappointing him if I tell him how bad it is, or I am going to scare him with it all.
[ | my depression is worsening and I don't know how to tell my bf of four years that I am slipping back, and also, I am such an emotional mess that any minor fight we have pushes me over the edge.] |
imabrokenman | dating_advice | t5_2s4kl | t3_15rvlj | Sup Reddit. I'm M21 and I'm broken. In high school I was played by the workaholic girl that never had time for me but had time for her friends. We hung out at lunchtimes, talked, played, etc, everything seemed nice. (Had a very brief relationship with her friend but she started and ended it. Not really important.) So I try asking her out, sending a letter or two and texting and stuff. In hindsight it became creepy but she never said or did ANYTHING. Not even to her or my friends. She pretended it didn't happen.
Fast forward to year after school. I see her friends at a convention and they always keep saying that they "lost her" or "she's somewhere here". I even meet a new friend of her's and have an awesome chat. Then I spot her and chase her 'cos I haven't seen her in a year and I'm super excited and everything. Coincidentally she's heading for the toilet but I don't think that mattered. What she said absolutely crushed me: "Go away." Completely deadpan with the worse lowered-eyebrows dark-expression EVER. I even lied to my buddies that I didn't catch her and left for home early. So that's why I'm broken.
Now, last 6 months and including last night's NYE party: One of those same buddies of mine had a girlfriend the same age as me. They broke up, it was mutual, I'm friends with them and all three of us are cool. Then I meet ex-gf's younger sister. Hot damn is she the cutest thing ever. She's 3 years younger than me so she could be MY sister, but I'm cool with that age gap. She might not be.
Another tidbit of uselessness, my buddy has kinda drifted out a little. We don't talk as much but he is still there, nothing's changed in that respect. Through Buddy's ex I get another buddy and the two of them start going out. So it's kinda the same thing just a different order. Us three are all cool.
Now back to Buddy's Ex's sister, the focus point. (I know this is kinda confusing but bare with me. I don't want to use names.) I'm sure that she was flirting with me at this party the other night. There was a pool and she suggested first that we go in. She's a good-looking girl, a solid 8 in my nerdy book. Not super-slim but not chunky either. A good weight. (Thanks to her I now know underboobs are AWESOME)
Anyway, I think she was sending signals the whole night. I played it cool, getting close in the pool, bumping into her, playing on her team. We even had a splash war. She also talks a LOT, I think maybe out of nervousness. After the pool she even had a bug stuck on her dress and was a bit flustered and kept chittering away, so I nicely took her arm, moved her into the light and picked it off her. As I touched her arm she stopped talking and became a bit calmer from my perspective. Then we chatted while she drew dragons and megaman.
I also know her family quite well, we all chat together.
I can't | this, every word is important. But the points I'm worrying about are:
Good (f)riend's younger sister, age gap of 3 years, and I don't want to f**k up like I've already done before and lose more than half my social life. That'll kill me, seriously. |
Xynatox | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_29mt9i | So today I went in to Twisted Treeline, the place I prefer to get a quick First Win of The Day. Everything seemed normal in champion select, except my teammates had both taken Heal/Revive. I assumed my accounts MMR was being stupid again because I have been matched with levels 5-20 quite frequently.
The match starts. Neither of my "teammates" move until three minutes, and they don't buy any items. They rush forward and stand around if no minions were in sight. They died constantly to the other bots, but I've seen this before. Then one of them backs and buys Sorc shoes and a flask. This "player" was playing Zyra, so it wasn't that strange. The other one was playing Nocturne, and he did the same thing. I then asked them if they were bots, just to check so I'm not being rude to real people. No response. However, the Zyra would say things occasionally. After dying she'd make a ":c" face, and would even say things like "you're amazing Xyn." I've played with enough bots to know that some have some pretty advanced scripts that allow them to chat and even recognize things within games. The other bot never chatted, but after checking their match history's, they've been queued together quite often. I know there are dominion bots, so it's not that far of a stretch to find Co-Op Vs. AI bots.
Anyways, | think I found some bots, would like your opinions on this.
Their lolking profiles: |
RushSomeMore | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_29o8hu | I played a game earlier today were i was losing mid, i asked our jungler to simply try and make a little preassure if he could. I didn't ask him to go for kills or anything, just showing up on lane once in a while, or when walking from camp to camp, to try and scare the enemy from going on me.
It wasn't like i was saying "gank or report" i simply asked for help, and he decided to focus on other lanes which is fine. I then die 2 more times to a gank and a stupid play by myself. Their mid laner is now pretty well set, and our jungler rages me. I try to tell him i did my best, and i'd might have done better if he could have helped me a little. Aaaand then BAM "OMG STOP FLAMMING". Right so i get it might seem as flamming when seeing it this way, but in reality, i just said help would have been appreciated. It 100% his choice to do it, and its 100% my fault that i died in lane, but i seriously get called a flamer for saying that? I mean, can i even say "lol that smite" when i last hit dragon as a support without people seeing it as "HOLY SHIT THIS GUY IS WORSE THAN SAINT" (Which in retrospect is actually quite good since he is diamond 1, but whatever).
Guys my | is that maybe before instantly calling someone a flamer, think about what was said. I'm a bitch when it comes to these things, cause i think its stupid that we are so concerned on who did what insted of playing the game and have fun. The sad truth about competitive games is this will always happen, cause it easier to blame someone else than yourself. |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_29oaq0 | hello, i am seriously having the worst...i don't even know what you call it, we are like breaking up but she hasn't done it yet
i am in the military and while i was going through basic training and the tech school, she has been hanging out with this german foreign exchange student every single day and posts about him nonstop on twitter, i have been dating this girl for over a year
and the day her german :friend left to go back to german she told me basically, she doesn't have feelings for me anymore and she feels empty, later that night she skyped me while she took i don't even know how many vicodin pills and it was the scared time of my life, i ended up saving her life that night bc i care for this girl so much, she means the world to me and i could never think of me and her not being together and her, and then she tells me today i can talk to other girls if i want, i just don't get it and i need somebody to talk too.
I can't sleep at all, i have had 2 hours of sleep in the past 3 days, all i think about is her and it is tearing me up.
here is some background information: i am 20, and she is 17 years old..I am currently stationed in the United Kingdom and she is in America
pls help me
if you need more information on this matter pls just ask and i will edit the post
** | after a year of dating my girlfriend acts like she just doesn't want me anymore and it is tearing me apart day by day, night by night |
bigboikeegz | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_29pngn | On the official league of legends website, all the dates on the new match history are in the american lay out (Month/Day/Year) even when i'm on the Oceania side of the website which should have it the other way round (Day/Month/Year) if this could be changed please c: | dates around the wrong way for OCE and maybe other country's as there Month/Day/Year not Day/Month/Year |
dancer69 | tifu | t5_2to41 | t3_29po3x | 28/f) past: was in an abusive relationship for 6 yrs.
Tifu: was chillin w/fwb when i got the sudden urge to bite him. So i did, on the neck forgettin i need to only bite where cloths can hide b/c he bruises easy. He jumped up to look in the mirror & i almost started crying b/c (even though i know he would never) i was expecting to b slapped. I told him why later on & now i have him thinking he overreacted when he did not. I think i fucked up a great friendship by making him think, i thought he would hit me when i kno he never would. I feel like such an asshole.
( | made my fwb think i thought he was abusive now i feel like an asshole & feel like i fucked up a great friendship) |
ob1kenobi56 | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_29rnyk | Hey everyone, I've been having a lot of issues with my mother lately.
So a quick background, I live at home with my mother, brother, and sister [M, F 16]. I have been living with them for about a year. I work 30hr/wk at a part time job close to my house and make enough to pay my bills every month and save a little bit. I pay for mostly everything in my life except for my health insurance and rent. I also am in school full time at the local community college (16 credits a semester) while school is in session. I paid for half my tuition last semester and my father split the rest with me. He has paid all previous semesters. I'm almost done with my AA degree with plans to transfer to a four year to pursue my masters in the sping. So in summary I'm pretty busy and I feel like I'm productive and self-supporting for the most part, and am not the child my mom assumes I am...
Anyway onto the real point.
She's extremely condescending to everyone (like tried to tell me how to properly turn my own car off when I've been driving for 4 years??). She treats me like I have some sort of mental deficiency and need to constantly be told how to do things like heat up soup properly. It's extremely frustrating when I try to sit down with her and explain to her that I can do a lot more for myself than she expects, because she just laughs and shuts down and tells me she doesn't want to have this discussion and will get up and walk away.
She constantly berates me for my appearance ("you're too skinny" "you must have some sort of eating disorder") when I work for my body (diet and exercise) and am completely satisfied with how I look. I have also told her this hurts my feelings when she comments on my weight and she once again ignored me and told me to not be so sensitive.
I work a lot of morning shifts at my job (at work at 5am) and my family yells at each other every morning. Normally it's not a huge deal because I'm already up, but on my days off work when I sleep in and their yelling wakes me up I get frustrated. After 2 weeks of dealing with this I politely asked her if the family could maybe keep it down in the morning and she told me that she couldn't control it and that the whole world doesn't revolve around me and that I should not be such a whiny bitch...
The house is extremely high conflict and my mom is constantly yelling at someone about an issue. I cannot leave the house without getting 3+ phone calls from family members about some sort of drama at home. She calls me at the time to yell at me about things that aren't even my fault or will make up arguments out of nothing. I've been watching my dad's house and his dog for him because he's out of state until sunday night, and she has been calling me every day to scream at me because she is upset I'm helping my father because he is "such a horrible person". When I try to defend myself against the conflict-of-the-day, she will talk over me and then claims that she doesn't have time and has to go and will hang up on me.
I know you're asking yourself, OP, why don't you just move out? She won't let me. I owe her 6k for a car (which I pay her monthly for, and we signed a contract stating this montly payment agreement) and she told me if I move out I either have to leave the car there or pay her in full. However, because we signed the contract and the car is in my name, is there any legal way for her to take my car from me if I were to leave?
So | my mom is condescending, argumentative, and refuses to have discussions with me about our communication problems. How do I deal with this since I can't move out? |
[deleted] | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_347nnx | Ok ok ok.... before you see this as a rant thread about how I am not a bad person blah blah blah smite me... just listen.
As a league player... I have gone through quite a lot. I have played since season 2, when I had to use a separate client because I played on a mac. (gaming pc now :D)
I used to be a super angry, elo hell stricken, silver V player. Obviously now I can climb through silver with ease and plan on reaching (at least) plat.
Enough about my life story though, there is something I came here to say. I used to get LOTS of chat bans. I'm talking hundreds each wave I got hit with. It sort of became a part of my life. I would just accept the fact that I was a toxic asshole and kept getting chat bans. After season 4 came to an end, I stopped getting chat restrictions... But as soon as season 5 starts.... BAM RANKED RESTRICTIONS. Apparently you get hit in waves, regardless of how much your initial punishment was. So I would get 35 game restrictions, like 3 games of ranked, and the next day 35 more. This happened 3 times over, and after winning 105 normal draft games, and also having to play nearly all of those with chat restrictions on top; I am able to now play ranked again, and without chat restriction (yay!)
So its all smooth sailing from here right? Be a nice guy to your teammates and win games. Well.... you guessed it, I was wrong. After grinding ranked for like 2-3 days with no punishment, I log in today, and get no warning for having bad behavior or any warning about chat restrictions. Yet somehow, once I get into game, I am typing to my teammates, and then I realize I AM OUT OF MESSAGES.
I am glad I can play ranked and all, but really??? I got like 60 more games of chat restrictions. I honestly cant think of an instance in the 10+ ranked games I played in the past 3 days where I deserved a ranked restriction. I remember one game where I got in a huge argument with 2 of my teammates, but after the game I talked it out with one of them and it ended up being cool, although I believe they still reported me.
I checked my email, and I didn't get a notification as to why I got punished. I emailed riot support, and they frankly don't seem to really care.
The biggest thing about this isn't really that I got restricted from communicating with my teammates. (well, it sorta is) but its also the fact that I don't get any reasoning or fair trial. cough tribunal cough
And on top of that, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if I got another 60 games restriction after this. Playing league like this is extremely stressful, especially when you can't explain things to your teammates when you're out of messages, or when you can't discuss further strategies in the game or make calls for objectives and such.
I know in most people's eyes, I am just a toxic asshole that deserves his ban, and should shut up and stop complaining. But just, before you downvote my post, just take a minute to think what its like to be in my position. I have taken the time to improve my compulsively toxic behavior and grinned HOURS AND HOURS. Of games to try to relieve myself of the restrictions. Surely if you had this sort of restraint put on you, while you were an honestly good person/player, you too would be upset.
If you actually read through this whole thing, I thank you greatly :D, and I urge you to give me feedback on what actions you think I should take to further end my restrictions. Sorry for making this so long and drawn out, but it is the best way I can think of making you understand my position right now, and not immediately bombard me with reasons why I deserve my fate.
no | because then I would just look like a whiny bitch.
again thanks for reading you're awesome!!! |
[deleted] | tifu | t5_2to41 | t3_347vr7 | Today @ uni cafeteria I held up a shitty bread roll in front of the poster that proclaimed "Education Makes You Free" and my friends agreed "Doesn't that remind you of Auschwitz?" A school official overheard us, and started chewing us out. We made up some lame excuse about how we had to leave, and made a run for it. We thought nothing of the incident.
Next class, they show up looking for us. They were on it faster than an SS Officer looking for Anne Frank.
We all got sent up to the office to get berated. "That joke was very offensive, and nobody would find that funny. You would have to be a sick and twisted person to find humor in the deaths of 6 million people." And on, and on, and on, etc.
After lunch, every single professor gave us dirty looks as we walked into their classes today.
God help us if they ever discover Cards Against Humanity or South Park.
[ | fuck tha police]( |
[deleted] | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_34azxg | Inb4 tons of downvotes but ok here I go.
I ask you people NOT to buy the chroma packs that just got released. I know most of you have rich parents and you think you are rich as well or you are actually a worker with a good salary, but I ask you again not to buy them. Why? Riot said they might be made for IP some day in the future. I mean c'mon, both of us know the soon (tm) of Riot. Maybe this way it'll be faster and people like me who cannot afford wasting 590RP on 3 skins even though i want 1 to still be able to show love to the champion.
I know u hate me and probably went | downvote, but hey, it's reddit, I'm pretty sure I can submit my opinion.
Thx |
Debbiethrowdowner | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_34bi9r | Hi everyone. Sorry in advance for typos/formatting, posting with mobile.
I want to keep this breif, frankly i'm a little embarassed that at my age i'm still awkward about dating.
Long story short, ended toxic 2 year relationship in december. It was the second time we broke up, and i was really determined to just move on and be done with it all. I got a tinder account, and have gone a few dates with guys.
Last month, I went on a date with [27 M]. He was nice, interesting, had a good job, etc. although i wasn't really feeling much chemistry, i agreed to a second date because i felt like it just might need more time on my side. On our second date, he took me to dinner at a nice place and paid for me. Again, we had a nice time and had plenty to talk about. He asked if i would want to hang out again and i tentatively said yes.
A few days later, [28 M] went out on a date. I was actually reluctant, but felt obligated after giving him a rain check twice. Unexpectedly, i really like this guy, we've now been on a few dates and have gotten physically intimate with one another. I know he likes me a lot, i like him, and that he is probably interested in taking this further. We are taking it slow for now, but i plan on being exclusive.
I feel really guilty about potentially having lead [27 M] on. I get the impression he is way more into me, and definitely shows it. (I don't know if it is because he is desi/nepali or what, but he does come on a liiittle strong for me). We have not done anything physical yet (no kissing, or even hand holding). I still think he is a really interesting person, he has good friend potential...but i absolutely do not want to be more of an emotional liability for him by offering friendship.
He has been trying to set up another date this week (tonight even) and so i feel pressured to nip this in the bud, especially now that my other interest in [28 M] is more prelevant.
How might i let down [27 M] in a respectful/considerate way?
[ | i've fallen for someone else and need to let the first guy i've been on two dates with know i'm not interested. I left things a little too open on our last date, and i think i have gotten his hopes up. Need a good way to turn him down. |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_34d8so | What do I do to stop hurting and thinking of her?
So a little info. Met my now ex at the start of nursing school 3+ years ago, and quickly became very close friends, best friends I guess you could say. Decided 1.5 years ago that we should give things a shot and date. Things went great for a year, and then the last few months, stress from school started taking its toll. Decided a month ago to take a great and focus of school (mutual decision) and then to give it another honest shot when we graduate in May. She didn't talk for 2 weeks, sat down with her and she said she didn't love me anymore, would be miserable if she stayed with me despite her recently talking about marriage. We decided to go back to being close friends, but despite her talking to me, she acts like I'm a completely different person. This all caught me by surprise, and I am very much still honestly in love with her. Even talked to a close friend about her being "the one" which is huge for me. Help, I cannot stop thinking about her after now nearly a month. I can't even bring myself to talk to another girl in more than a simple conversation way without feeling horrible. I treated her great and it got me nowhere. Going slowly insane because of it, and to top it off, I'm fairly certain she is already seeing someone...I need advice and help. Thank you
** | legit lost "the one" can't stop thinking about her, she has moved on and I'm stuck in a huge rut. How do I get over her and stop caring? |
Leon_Art | sex | t5_2qh3p | t3_2z3yaa | So I guess the point is well embedded in the social consciousness, but let me say it anyway: my gf thinks my semen/sperm/cum/load (or what ever you want to call it) tastes quite bad (bitter/salty, basically anything but sweet pastry).
Online there are many 'cures', like eating pineapple or fruits in general and avoiding some other things (like coffee, smokes, broccoli, meat, etc.). Basically, I'm doing nearly all those things 'right', but it still takes terrible. Today she told me she found this [website where they sell pills]( that make it taste basically, like the best desert ever:
> John: I wish i could suck my own cock! I often lap it up after wanking*
> Joe: My girlfriend often begs to have me cum down her throat, after yummy cum*
> Allan: Ive never had so many blowjobs, i think shes addicted to the taste*
> Jas: My wife just cant stop sucking my cock, i having trouble keeping up*
I'm already very very skeptical about those normal 'cures', but this sets off all my alarm bells. So my question , | can you change the taste at all, and if so, how... and most importantly, do you have sources where I can see this ?
And in case this isn't the right place to ask, do any of you know what is the right place?
Thanks a ton in advance. |
thistooshantpass | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2z7gz3 | I'll try to keep this as short as I can.
So Beth and I have been dating for 10 months. Beth told me she needs a lot more time this semester to focus in her work. Previous semester, we'd hang out a lot but because we were first dating of course. She suddenly has all of these study groups and meetings to go to.
Suspicion got the best of me, and I went through her phone, only to see she texts this other guy, Mandark, saying where they're meeting for their study groups. I later tell her I looked through her phone, she gets mad, we argue about it.
So they're all in the group chat but Beth never really depends to that chat but really just to Mandark. She says she had his number individually saved because they had met a couple semesters ago already. I say whatever, let it slide. This was inbetween a month or two ago.
Skip to this past Tuesday. We were in class all day and hung out after (we go to the same college, last classes for us for the day let out at the sane time). Typical Tuesday, except today she's feeling really sick.
So we eat and she's still not feeling good. We usually go to the gym together after we settle our stomachs a bit but this time we just went back to her room and cuddled. I rubbed her back and was patient with her, she didn't really talk to me at all but I took it she was sick.
She gets up to go to the bathroom, and for some reason I grab her phone and look through the messages again. I know shouldn't have done that. But again just friendly messages of her letting him know where the study groups are and whatever.
Beth's roommate tells her that I went through her phone when I got up to go to the bathroom. Beth signs me out of her dorm building and walks me to my car. She usually never does this especially on cold nights so I knew something was up. Sure enough, she asked if I went through her phone. I said yes and I apologized profusely. I said it wouldn't happen again and that my suspicion got the better of me and I knew it was wrong to do. She said she needed time to think.
I went home, she called me an hour and a half later saying she wants to break up. That whole break up conversation happened. Bottom line of it was she said she doesn't feel like I trust her anymore. So we didn't talk, agreeing to meet today for breakfast.
Flashforward to today, we meet and she's happy and I'm happy. We're talking and whatever and then we finally sit down to eat. She tells me she doesn't feel like its been enough time for her to decide if she wants to get back together with me or not.
Whats really bothering me is I still felt like I wanted to just grab her and hold her and kiss her the whole time though. What do I do? I told her to text me sometime but I think she's just gonna forget about me. I still care about this girl a lot.
I was thinking of maybe rexting her later this week (on spring break) to see if she wants to meet up before she goes back next Sunday. I don't wanna just leave it like this. Please help me.
[b] | b] - GF of 10 months broke up with me because she feels like I don't tryst her anymore. Confronted about snooping twice but with reasonable suspicion, I'm clueless. |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2z87ts | excuse grammar. On my phone.
At first it was fun: we met in class, i developed a crush on him, we'd sit together, we ended up kissing and then I really startes getting feelings.
We slept together, and now my mind wont stop chasing after him. There are some things that are deal-killers for me that make me not want to date/ be involved with him romantically anymore.
But i find myself obessesively thinking about things he's said to me, or what he's up to, or when he's going to show up for class. Sometimes i cant study or think straight because im analyzing all the things that happened between us.
I need this to stop but i cant cut him out of my life completely because i see him too often.
** | how do you stop thinking about someone and move on with your life, when you know theyre no good for you? |
FluffyKittyRAWR | TwoXChromosomes | t5_2r2jt | t3_2z91ju | I am 24 and have been with my partner for 5 years, he is indifferent about having kids, and I tend to flip flop. We talk about having kids and think we would be good parents, and that makes me feel a moral obligation to reproduce and create healthy members of society. However we also have big dreams, we want to travel, a lot, and try to lift ourselves a bit socioeconomically (and kids are expensive!).
I am the youngest sibling and cousin and have little experience with kids, but in general find them similar to untrained pets (though the rare well-behaved child is much more likeable).
I guess the | version is: Reach our dreams and have money or pass on our genes.
We want to wait another 5 years to have them so we have time to decide, maybe a biological clock will kick in by then. |
kamikazplatypus | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_1krbma | Dont get me wrong this isnt one of those silly omg why do we have to follow these rules that are made up by pros omg roit pls threads its more of a dont be dumb post.
just for some context im a plat 3 (soon to be plat 4) player who usually supports or jungles and i can honestly say ive noticed a problem in solo queue. My past 3 games (not exaggerating ) of ranked have involved someone on my team blindly picking an adc top (usually ezreal) not because of rage but because they called top and took it, i dont know if they are trolling but thats what happens and in all of these games the other team has picked someone that fair pretty well against ezreal (or other adcs) like tryndamere and just pushes lane and rushes turrets down either forcing jungler to babysit top and have the other lanes suffer or ignore top and have it snowball out of control
Now where does the meta fit in in this conversation you might ask? well let me tell you because i dont think many people really get it, anything can be played anywhere most of the time but what really matters is that certain roles are filled you need a :
tank
ADC (or marksmen or whatever the kids are callling them these days)
a mid laner that can roam doesnt even need to be AP
someone who can handle most 1v1 fights to go top
and any jungler that allows the other lanes to do well and ensure that there is a tank etc etc
what makes it really hard to do however is when someone picks adc top or mid because they cant roam and get destroyed 1v1 for the first 30 minutes or so
so basically the | is play what you are good with so long as you have any semblance of being a coherent thought out team (so basically as long as its not 5 squishies etc) also if you play adc top/mid without knowing the matchup before hand just dont |
[deleted] | Fitness | t5_2qhx4 | t3_1ks2el | Hi, sorry this is long, being succinct is not a strength.
First, I have read all the resources... many times... over the last few years. I just mention it because I know most responses will be that the info I need is readily available and I agree, but I am still having issues and I am hoping to get some assistance instead of just always giving up.
The reason I could benefit from some actual human help is because I've been quite severely clinically depressed for... well my entire adult life, which is about 11 years (at least that's when I was first diagnosed, when I was 16, but nothing suddenly changed, I was probably like that before with a slow transition into it). So if you can imagine, it makes splurts of motivation rare and short lived. Even if I get super motivated and start putting a plan together, once I start encountering hiccups or difficulties, that sends me over the edge and I give up. Plus, I am way far overly self-critical and a perfectionist, so any holes in my knowledge or uncertainty also makes me give up.
So that's why I'm asking. I'd rather subject myself to being flamed on reddit and possibly find someone who can help me get going than to just stay the way I am. I am a stubborn dick when it comes to doing things "the right way" and with fitness and dieting, there are so many different schools of thoughts and variations depending on the individual that I get overwhelmed and also just give up. It's hard enough to get the motivation to stick with a diet and to exercise everyday or several days a week and I fail just getting to that point because I'm one of those people who likes to have a complete plan before diving into things. As you can imagine, most things I do (fitness, hobbies, school, etc) don't get finished.
I also have a hard time with motivation because even if I could choose what my weight and muscle mass would be, I am bald and one of those extremely hairy guys. So even if I was as successful as some of you here, I still wouldn't ever want to take my shirt off or go to the beach. Not unless I can ever afford to have something done about it.
So there's all I'll say on that BS and now I'll move onto me and the help I need.
I am a 27 year old male. I am 6'4'' and about 256lbs right now. BMI wise that makes me "obese" but most people don't even consider me overweight just because my height handles the weight well. My fat is in my stomach, butt and thighs so generally I just seem thicker all around to people and if I stand up straight with my shoulders back, chest out and suck in a bit I look fine. But it still bothers the hell out of me, especially since I am also sedentary as I'm in the computer science field and spend all day at work sitting and then go home and sit at my own computer until I go to bed.
Most of my weight gain came from my inactive life style from being depressed and just wanting to sit in my room all day, and the fact that for the last 4 years I've lived with my sister who is the messiest human being ever, to the point where our house was pretty much a landfill, with trash everywhere, the floors in the hall and other places almost unseen beneath piles of dirty laundry, etc. The kitchen was always a disaster with dirty dishes with molding/rotting food covering every surface. Because of that, I couldn't stand to go into the kitchen long enough to actually cook something and so for like 2 years literally every meal was fast food. Because of my depression it has been a long journey to finishing my bachelor's degree and I'm almost there and I finally had an opportunity to move out (because I have no friends and am a angry asshole so never had anyone I could room mate with) so I'm finally in an apartment very far from my sister so I finally have a nice clean kitchen where I can cook with content.
So I'm trying to tackle this on both fronts, diet and exercise.
Diet
When I say diet, I am referring to a life style change and not just a "lose weight temporary" diet. That's part of what makes it so hard to stick with it or even start, is knowing that I am trying to find new things to eat that I'll always be eating, not just for 6-12 months to lose weight. I am a very picky eater which is why I struggle so much with finding meal plans on the internet or in a health book or whatever. I dislike almost all fruits and vegetables. I can tolerate salads but I hate all salad dressing so I feel like I'm just eating a bowl of grass and it's so bland that it's hard to stick with eating stuff like that. I'm sure I can handle it for a meal a day or something if I can find other meals to cook that do taste somewhat appetizing. but since I'm an all or nothing person, being unable to do a full day of healthy meals kept me from doing any of it.
So I'm looking for someone who could help me put meal plans together and is willing to actually work with me in finding things I can tolerate or giving advice on acquiring a taste for other things.
I've been a very heavy soda drinker forever, but my dad got me one of those SodaStream things for my birthday which has helped me cut down the soda a lot because I have such an irresistable craving for carbonated beverages, and with this I can carbonate anything, mainly CrystalLight and Lemonade, and it helps me not have to drink soda. The only obstacle right now is that my work has free vending machines that stocks cans of Cherry Coke which is my absolutely favorite beverage of all time, and it's really hard to not drink any when I literally can just hit a button and have my perfect drink. But I am at least limiting it to about 1 a day and none on the days I don't go to work. I am going to cut it out completely, it'll be easier once I have a full healthy diet set up.
So I guess I'll just list the things that pop out of my head as far as likes and dislikes.
I do like carrots, corn, green apples, and grapes. There are fruits/vegetables that are "okay" meaning I don't like or dislike them. Mostly it's I don't like raw fruits/veggies. When they're cooked, being cooked makes them all taste the same bland taste to me, so I could eat them so long as there is something else in the meal that tastes better.
I absolutely love chicken and right now I make a batch of 5 large breasts on the weekend that I can usually add with a different side (usually rice) and eat for a meal a day throughout the week. the recipe I do right now that my dad gave me probably isn't the healthiest, but I can definitely prepare it in a more healthy way (his is this breaded chicken where you coat it in a mayonnaise/Parmesan cheese mixture and then cover in bread crumbs).
Another big obstacle is I love bread. Bread is easily my favorite food and I love all sorts of pastas, and most diets completely cut those kinds of things out and since I'm going for a permanent life style change, I have a hard time being willing to cut those things out forever. I tend to not like yogurts, nut type things. Hrmm, nothing else comes to mind right now.
Right now I also don't tend to eat much. I take adderall for ADHD which really lowers my appetite so I eat a lot smaller portions right now which is why I'm 256lbs instead of the 280 I was last year. But it also means I only eat like twice a day which isn't good and the first meal usually isn't until I've been awake for 6-8 hours.
Okay that covers what I have to say on food at this time.
Exercise.
For the past several years I've been on and off doing the Couch to 5k running plan. I usually only make it to 2 weeks though and then stop because I loathe running so much. I ruminate and think bad thoughts and usually hate being left to just chill in my head and with running, that's usually what I end up doing so the time passes slowly and painfully.
I've also had a 24 Hour membership for like 10 or 11 years now. My dad got it through work and each family member is just $1 a month, otherwise I would have never gotten it to begin with but it's worth paying $12 a year just to hold onto that deal. And since my dad hasn't work for the company that hooked him up with it for 4 years and they never bother to recheck it or anything, I can probably keep it until my dad stops going to the gym. Every year I usually have 1 or 2 spurts of motivation where I'll go to the gym for 2-8 weeks but then stop because same as with running, I really hate it.
I've taken several weight lifting classes during high school and college and was briefly on the fencing team at school, so I do have a bit of knowledge on performing exercises properly. It's just building the routine that I struggle with. For the last 4 or 5 years I've been doing a full body routine I got from The Complete Idiot's Guide to Weight Lifting. I haven't gone in a while because I want to do a free weight work out, but since those seem to revolve around barbell exercises that everyone says you sohuld have a spotter for, I've never gotten into it because I have no friends to go with me to the gym or even friends period, and I'm socially retarded and can't get myself to ask a stranger there, especially knowing I'd have to do it several times a week for the foreseeable future.
The apartment complex I moved to has a decent fitness center, so to make it easier to get going I'll probably start just doing that since it's walking a short distance as opposed to driving many miles to a gym, and I usually only like going to the gym later during the hours when it's not as crowded, usually after 9pm.
Every couple of weeks I try using that sidebar routine picker and I usually get that 4 barbell exercise one with the bench press, dead lift, squat and... whatever that last one is. But I haven't found an explanation of it that made it perfectly clear to me and even though I have the book where the plan originates from, because of who I am it's | to find the routine. Plus the whole spotting thing with the press exercises.
I ended up at 11000 characters so the last part (Goals) is in the comment linked here. |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_1kx2z1 | We dated long distance for 2 years, been together for 4 years because he moved back home to go to grad school and be with his family who had moved while we went to college together. We made it work and literally had no problems for the first year. Things were going so well that he asked me to come and stay with him and test the waters. I agreed and I was supposed to
move as soon as I was done with summer classes.
After we made plans, he increasingly became more depressed with our situation. I heard similar complaints from him about how depressed he was. Zoloft caused him to be irritable and even more numb. He told me nearly every day that he was so lonely. He wanted someone to come lay with him at night. All of the time. I kept telling him that we made plans and I'm in this too. It's not a one way street. But he kept saying how I was stronger.
This led to drugs and drinking large amounts of alcohol. Which he stopped shortly before things got even worse. He became emotionally empty. Barely held on to conversations. Even went to webcam sites to get his jollies. I knew it was the depression. He had such standards. Was religious. I knew something was wrong. He started lying about everything. I believe it was the Zoloft that made him feel this depressed. But every time he did something, he said it was the depression and never took any responsibility or seemed sorry.
I called him a few days ago and explained that I just couldn't do it anymore. That when we got better, we could try again. But me moving was out of the question.
The biggest red flag He got mad and tried breaking things off with me instead. Ignored what I said. Replied that I'm causing him to feel worse. That I know how sad he is. And is breaking up with me.
After bickering, he agreed and wants to get better. I haven't heard from him since. But now after thinking about the situation, I feel that maybe he didnt love me at all. I feel a little abused and manipulated. The lying, the "I'm depressed you're not here". He broke it off with me a few times because of it. Told me to leave him alone weekly.
I guess what my question is what are the signs? I know the depression is the root of this. But I'm not sure if its because he kept blaming it on that so much I believed it. Or if its true. Should I hold out hope? Or completely forget he ever existed? Did he get me to believe he wasn't at fault? That he is a good person? I feel like he is and I still want to be together. But we could only be together if I moved there. He's made that very clear.
** | exs depression made it difficult. Broke things off. Noticed a lot of bad things. Not sure if I should completely move on or not. |
Hautamaki | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_4q51tc | Just some thoughts I had as a fill main (meaning I now get support in 98% of games) to make the role of support more interesting to players, now that we have definitive proof that yes, in fact, the role of support is currently seen as less desirable to play by a significant percentage of players.
1) The end game stats screen needs to give more credit to supports. And not just the webpage you can open up that gives a bit more info; 9/10 times I'm not gonna click that anyway because I just want to glance at a few key stats for 20 seconds before I move on to the next game, not fiddle with my browser in another window.
The end game stat screen should show the following info: wards placed and wards cleared (obviously), amount of time you CC'd enemy team, amount of damage you shielded/prevented, amount of CC you prevented (via black shield, cleanse, mikhael's, etc) and perhaps some other stats as well. And of course the way that supports get mastery points should be changed as well; eg having higher than average kills or cs as support shouldn't count for shit, it should be based entirely upon having more assists, more warding, more healing, more damage shielded, more CC landed/prevented, etc--actual support things.
2) More income for supports, and more scaling on the utility of their abilities. Right now, there are three main things that all champions can do: damage, tankiness, or utility. Damage and tankiness very obviously and directly scale up with gp and xp. Utility does in some abilities, but not really in others; it's a bit of a mishmash and meta support champions wind up being the champions that have utility which doesn't scale much, meaning they don't need the gold much. If we just defined a 'support' as a champion that has great utility but less dps and tankiness (as we really ought to) instead of a champion that can still sort of do what it's supposed to do even without gp or xp, then supports wouldn't have to feel like the bitch role.
So what Riot has been slowly doing, and what I think they should continue to do and do it more quickly, is give supports more income that is roughly equal to other roles; that will be higher or lower depending on the skill of the support (like other it is with other roles), and give the support utility abilities that scale up with that income to the point that a support really can feel like they are taking over the game and either buffing their own team to the point where even the 9 year old vaynespotter can tumble into the enemy team and get kills, or where you can completely shut down the enemy team, or some combination thereof. Everyone knows how awesome it feels when you are super fed on a hypercarry; supports might like to have this feeling some time too. If they are making sick plays they should be able to get fed and get ridiculous amounts of utility where they are carrying the shit out of a game just like a mega fed kogmaw, or raid boss Nasus, or whatever.
So ways to actually increase support income that doesn't screw up balance for other roles--that's a bit tricky. One thing is just buff the existing gold generation items a bit more. Let targon regen stacks more quickly. Let spell thief and coin give a bit more gold. That's all obvious. But how to keep spell thief in particular from becoming a mid laner item like it was for a while? Well you can increase the cool down on spell thief for losing its gp steal when you kill a minion and you can preserve that penalty even when it's a level 3 item. That's all simple stuff.
Another idea for the coin--it's sort of boring because it doesn't really reward any particular kind of playstyle that much. The only thing you could say that it rewards is your ability to just stay in lane while minions die; but nearly everything rewards your ability to stay in lane, that isn't really special or unique. It could be though; it could have a scaling gold generation where the amount of gold you receive from it gradually but continually increases until you go back to fountain and its reset. It now becomes far more explicitly and obviously a sustain item; and it gives the enemy team a specific target or goal of counterplay--force you to back to fountain so your gp generation gets reset. You could just have its gp generation per minion go up by 1 every 45 seconds or 1 minute or whatever until you go back to fountain. If the enemy team doesn't force you to back for like 10 minutes you start getting super fed. I think something like that should be balanceable though it would of course take lots of play testing. If necessary, they could easily cap it at some point.
The | here is: give supports more opportunity to show their individual skills to either fail (like other roles can fail) or carry the game (like other roles can carry the game). And give them a nice end game screen to appreciate it. |
8bitwonderland | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_53fsm5 | Hey r/relationships. I posted this earlier in r/relationship_advice. I just need some help since I really don't know weather to see her one more time or end it now. I just need some advice.
I (M,19) have been in an amazing relationship with my (F,18) girlfriend of 4 months. We fell hard for each other and it's been the best relationship I ever had. Three weeks ago, she moved away for school. Her school is only an hour away and nothing really changed. Then about two weeks ago, when I came up to see her and meet her roommates, we went to a nightclub. I don't like clubbing or partying at all but she loved it. I kinda had a feeling she loves to party. Then, the next day onward, she began to act strange and distant. When I tried to see if we could get together this weekend she said she had tons of schoolwork, but she went to a gay club on Friday and stayed and played with her new kitten on Saturday night, while I sat around playing video games feeling lonely. Tonight, I called her to tell her how I feel. She told me she loves me but she doesn't know what she wants right now. We debated weather we should end it or take a break. We chose to take a break and we would call each other on Friday to see if we could see each other and talk about things face-to-face. I honestly still love her with all my heart, but I don't want to be her boyfriend on the side and be waiting on her. I just feel torn on what I should do. Should I just call her and end it now or visit her one last time and see if we can make something work. A part of me thinks she still wants to be with me and lives me but another part of me thinks she's already done with me. I just don't know what to do.
* | girlfriend has been distant, but claims she still loves me, but I want a relationship and not be kept waiting for her. |
clickfornudes | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_41fuj9 | Reddit, I have been more or less a serial monogamist since I was 15. I have always been financially independent and ahead of my years, and had 4 relationships since age 15. My last girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years, 14 months of which have been faithfully long distance (6 and 8 months, separate times). We have always shared open lines of communication with a healthy amount of trust.
Her family moved to their home country. a country with a conservative culture, after 20 years establishing themselves well off in America. They are liberal in comparison (still relatively traditional, just patriotic about their home culture). She goes to spend time with her family every year or so because, well, it's her family. This time it was originally 6 months, but turned into a one way ticket for financial reasons, and her return ticket is not definite (in the range of 6-12 months).
I have learned after a month apart that she doesn't have clear intentions of getting back together after our break. OF COURSE, we still have strong feelings for each other, but she just dropped the bomb that the last year of our relationship, she has been doubting our future together given the circumstances and doesn't see us together in the future.
We have always been on good terms and had an amazing 3 years together, and our private life has only been improving since day 1. This is why it took me by surprise.
We had come to the agreement of a break because she was unsure when she would get back. Now, it's basically over. For me, this break has mainly been an opportunity for me to live out my youth and get all that out of my system, but I never considered it OVER.
Should I move on, or fight for this girl because she's the most amazing girl I've ever know ?
* | girlfriend going abroad with her family for up to a year. We had a great 3 years and we're always on good terms. Originally were on break, month later find out she has no clear intentions of getting back with me.
Edit:
1) the break was my idea, because I couldn't stand long distance
2) She is basically saying if someone else doesn't come along in that time period, she is open to trying our relationship again |
MKBlueShell | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_1pnyzk | I was disheartened tonight to see in the pbe changes that the Spirit of the Ancient Golem is being gutted and turned into a worthless clunky scion of the present acceptable version and the once loved heart of gold. Season two's tanky junglers were defined by shurelyas, heart of gold, and oracles elixir. Today's tanky junglers are defined and enabled by the Boots of Mobility the Spirit of the Ancient Golem. Ever since the component switch from a giant's belt to a kindlegem with no health loss, SoTAG has been the first item buy for essentially every tanky jungler apart from Lee sin or Hecarim. The latest live change to the item was a pretty hard nerf in my opinion. Kindlegem's price was upped by 100 gold, and none of the kindle gem items had their combine cost brought down to scale with this increase. The strongest two kindlegem items were and still are SoTAG and spirit visage. Both offer a LOT of health along with the cdr and defensive stats. The lastest pbe change has the price of SoTAG staying the same, but the health total from the item is changed from 500 to 350. The other stats remaining the same and a disappointing gold passive are all that Riot offers in return for taking away 30% of the total health the item gave. It just had a price increase of 5%, (2000 to 2100) and now instead of being rewarded 300 health for the 450 gold combine cost, one is only rewarded with 150 health, a deal almost as pitiful as shurelyas is right now on live. This item was literally the only thing this season that made me choose any jungler outside the elite four (j4,elise,lee sin, vi), whom you can build anything you like on. If this nerf goes through, instead of being able to buy ancient golem or even spirit stone, the tanky junglers will have to go back to buying a madreds razor then trying to rush a locket of the iron solari, the old success story of xin and jarvan. Unfortunately, with the new giant buffs to the damage/carry junglers, what with being able to ACTUALLY COMPLETE THEIR RAZOR INTO A MEANINGFUL ITEM, I feel there will be no reason to choose one of the jungler tanks that are still viable today. The best counter to my argument that I can come up with is that I am drastically overlooking the value of the new gold passive, but to me it doesn't look like it will amount to anything more than the ~1-2 cs per minute gold items were always capable of making. The real problem to me is the decreasing reasons to ever play anyone but Lee Sin in the jungle. He is the number one jungler in our present god tier, his position cemented even further with this weeks Jarvan knockup width nerfs, along with the slight nerf to both Jarvan's and Vi's ultimates (can't void opposing cc anymore). The new camp will serve to offer Lee Sin more map mobility, more counter-jungling potential, more opportunity to snowball after successfully ganking. Lee sin also synergizes very well with the madred's razor item, and happens to have decent ad ratios to go with his absurd 7-spell kit, extra auto-attack passive, and complete lack of a limiting resource like mana. I challenge anyone to give me viable reasons NOT to play the blind monk exclusively in riot's new anti-tank jungle.
edit | new spirit of the ancient golem gives 350 health instead of 500 yet remains at newly increased price. This leaves little reason to play the non-mobile tanky junglers like maokai, naut, or rammus. |
j815 | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_1pofrx | When we have an arguement its always starts with a minor disagreement. It turns into a battle , and from there it turns to war. He(24m) has recently taken to calling me(23f) cunt and bitch very meaningful like . If I don't let it bother me at first he keeps saying it and adding to it until I cry. He has also started breaking things in his anger and then blaming it on me. I am the kind of person that shuts down when I am upset or angry , so that I can cool off. He has always been explosive and its getting worse. I feel it might add some insight if I mention he has recently started feeling very insecure and started working out and extremely dieting . He has even accused me of cheating on him. He has cheated on me before so I kind of know that these may be signs of something like that but I don't believe that its that this time. Only because we carpool and I take the car and I show up randomly at his work and my friends work there and when he's not at work he's with me. I actually wasn't even thinking about it being something like an affair but i may be naive. Anyways he's pretty much just getting worse when we fight. I don't know if its his insecurities or maybe really just our relationship is what is making him act like this. I just turned 23 a few days ago and I'm not a little girl anymore, I think what he's doing is wrong. But how do I even approach him or start a conversation about this?
Edit ;to add relationship length. Weve been together for 6 1/2 years.
>> | husband insecure and raging out of control sometimes. What do ? |
flgatorgirl | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_1pok55 | I had posted this yesterday and then pulled it down because of some of the negative comments I had received. But I thought about it and realized I posted this for me. I posted this to just vent. I would never, ever send this to my ex, nor would I use it to start a war, nor do I say any of these things to my children and ultimately, I do not act this way towards my ex which is why I wrote this piece. These are the things I would want to say to him if I could, but I can't, and I won't. It is a personal release for me only.
Dear (Fill in the Blank),
I sit before my computer three years after separating still filled with anger. I don’t want the anger anymore. I am tired of it controlling me (or I should say me letting it control me). I want you to know why it is I am so angry at you. You are a jerk. No. An ass. No. A dick. You know, I’m not sure there are even words to describe such a tiny, tiny man as you. You used me plain and simple and shame on me for not seeing it. You married me to use me for a lifestyle you crave. All those times you pretended it bothered you to take things from my parents or me was all just bullshit. I was in love with you. I loved you heart and soul. I would never marry anyone for any other reason than pure love. Shame on me for not seeing it wasn’t pure love for you. I forgive myself for being young and naïve. I forgive myself for staying as long as I did. I forgive myself for making the excuses of your behavior while we were together. Now, I need to forgive you (not release you from your actions or relieve you of your responsibilities in the failure of the marriage), but forgive you, so I can move on finally and find peace and happiness in my own life. As I continue to hold onto this anger it is impossible to feel what I want to and would like to feel and be happy. That is why I left you: To find happiness and get out of that god forsaken miserable marriage.
You are mean. Plain and simple. You put others down. Why? To make yourself feel better? To make yourself feel more like a man? Is it a power thing for you? Is it all the anger you have from your childhood? I don’t know what leads to your nastiness, but you are nasty to the core. You think nothing of putting others down. You criticize, you verbally attack, and you emotionally mess with minds. Not only did I suffer with it for 13 years, but now I see some of the same behaviors being played on our kids. If you don’t get your way you push and push until the other person caves because you make it impossible to stand up to you without learning how to feel like a doormat. Going to counseling was the best thing I ever did. I grew a backbone and you hated that. That’s when things got worse. You still try to treat me like your doormat today, but I resist now and that frustrates and infuriates you. You think I’m being immature when I don’t do what you want when you want.
You are a user. The only things that matter to you in your life are material things. You are incapable of true love. You don’t and can’t even love yourself. You love things, not people. I feel sorry for your new fiancée as I’m sure she hasn’t seen the real you yet. Maybe this is why you’re rushing into another marriage? You can’t be alone and you’re afraid she will see the real you and run as fast as she can.
You are a controlling bastard. You want the final say in everything. If it’s not your way then you act like a little tiny baby and kick and scream until you get your way. It’s sad. As I read the words I write I actually do feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for you having to live your life with such sadness and anger and unhappiness. I don’t want to be like you or end up like you. You can’t and never will change. I gave it four years in marriage counseling and yet, nothing. You kept blaming me. It’s time to look in the mirror buddy and take a good hard look at yourself and see why you can’t keep a job, why your wife left you, why your kids don’t want to spend time with you and why bosses are always after you as you claim. Wake up. Smell the coffee. It is you through and through.
If I had any shred of hope you could’ve or would’ve changed I would’ve hung in there, but after all that time, the behavior didn’t change. I knew it was time to go. I didn’t want the kids to see a man treat a woman that way. Calling me a cunt. Telling me countless times you hate me. Telling me countless times you have no idea why you married me and why you stay. Telling me you wished I’d had an abortion. Telling people you were sad you were having a daughter. Sick. Just sick. So sad you can’t see all that is wrong with these actions. Even sadder, you never will. You are repeating history. You are ending up just like your father and you hated so many things about him. Those are all the things you are and will continue to be. You had the choice to break a cycle, but you couldn’t. So sad. I will make sure our son does not end up like you. He will not have the anger you have. He will not treat women the way you do. He will break the cycle.
I will allow myself to finally and truly move on. I will let go of all the anger so I can be free of you and the hold you’ve had over me for 15 years. I walked away physically, now it’s time for me to do it emotionally and mentally. I will no longer let you blame me for your problems. We all create our problems. You create your own. I am creating my own by holding onto the anger, which is why I am choosing to forgive you so I can create a happier life for myself. I can finally be at peace and know that I am okay. You hurt me more than you will ever know. You used me, manipulated me and abused me. You continue to treat me like I am not a person and I don’t matter. You will no longer have that hold over me.
I hope one day you realize you are not a man. You are a child. A man-child. You lost a great family in us. It is truly your loss. I am in a much better place without you. You drained me every day and I am no longer going to allow that to happen. I am freeing me of you. Every time I feel anger creeping back in I will reread this letter. It will continue to release me from the anger that has had a hold over me for too long. It will remind me I have a choice and I choose happiness over anger. In other words, you can go fuck yourself. That is all.
" | personal catharsis, letting go of anger, moving on |
[deleted] | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_1pp2y8 | Hi folks. First off, a little background.
I'm male, 45, and was in a committed relationship with a woman two years my junior, for 22 years.
The relationship ended rather suddenly when she decided one day not to bother coming home for three days (causing me to panic beyond belief and to consider contacting police, etc., as she neither answered her cell nor texts, nor did friends know her exact whereabouts), and then flounced into the house to tell me in the most nonchalant and aloof manner that she had been physically intimate with another man for all this time.
Suffice it to say, that ended our relationship, and she moved out less than two weeks later.
This all happened nearly 18 months ago, and I have been alone ever since. With the help of some personal counselling and throwing myself into work, etc., it is only in the last three or four months that I've started to feel normal again and not simmering in rage and hurt over what my ex had done to me.
So in the last month, I have met someone completely by chance, who works a night job like I do, and I've been unable to think about little else but her since. My previous relationship was indeed a case of "love at first sight", and it seems the same here.
First thing is our age difference. She is 21, and I am 45, which blows the "one-half of one's age plus seven years" rule. Despite our age difference, I have honestly found her to be more mature, more motivated, and more intelligent than any woman I have ever been involved with, and we have spent countless nights on the phone or via Facebook chat just talking away about all manner of subjects. This has been awesome, since I love inspired and intelligent conversation.
We have gone out about 4 times so far, mostly for coffee/movie/long walks kind of things, and there have been signs that we would like to take our relationship to a more intimate level.
In the midst of all this, a former partner of hers died suddenly from advanced-stage melanoma. They had separated amicably six months ago and had remained friends, but a great deal of affection had remained between them. His death affected her very profoundly, and she is now in the midst of mourning and making arrangements to celebrate his life, etc.
Since I don't know this former partner of hers, and feel it would not be appropriate for me to be further involved with this aspect of her past, I have stayed off to the sidelines and have offered her my moral support throughout this entire ordeal (e.g. condolences, offering to be there for her, asking if she requires assistance, etc.). Any thought or suggestion on my part of wanting to be with her intimately, etc. is for me null and void in favour of helping her through one of the worst experiences anyone can face.
Her response to my offers of support has been lukewarm at best. I have concluded that the bond between them was indeed a lot stronger than I had realized, or perhaps even more than she realized as well. In any case, despite my wanting to comfort her in any way I can, she has been contradictory, first stating she doesn't feel like talking to anyone (despite being at her friends' place for hours) and then calling me later to talk for 30-60 minutes.
She's now tentatively proposed a plan to move away in early 2014 to a very rural area to be with family, stating that she can't stand to be around the city any more and that everywhere she looks or goes, she is reminded of her previous relationship.
As much as it pained me to say it, I said I wouldn't stand in her way, and then I found myself blurting out afterwards that I loved her and didn't want her to go. Needless to say, this was received with no small measure of surprise on her part, and she stated that she (understandably) cannot reciprocate these feelings at this time.
And it's true. I do love her, despite our age difference and the current circumstances. In this past month, I've never felt so alive and happy. She's taken the last vestiges of the pain from my old relationship and made me feel, well, whole again. She loves talking to me too, and we seem to get along great.
Seeing her in her current circumstances, I feel I want to do anything and everything to help her through this process, but I'm afraid I might have completely messed things up by blurting out "I love you" in the midst of her grief and sorrow. I now feel selfish (for wanting my feelings reciprocated at the worst possible time) and embarrassed (for being so forward at the worst possible time).
Before anyone here judges me too harshly, let me just state these facts:
I am a man who has had two relationships in his life; one lasting two years in college and which ended because of her erratic and inexplicable jealousy and temperament toward me, and the second one of 22 years which ended due to her infidelity.
I come from a religious private school background, where harsh discipline and strict rules were the norm. Despite this, the education was top-notch and I graduated from there with a very "old-school" set of values which I still practice today (e.g. courtesy, etiquette, giving others the benefit of the doubt, giving without expectation of reward, etc.)
Regarding the last point, I am no longer a practitioner of the faith in which I was raised, but maintain a healthy respect for it and all religions of the world. I consider myself a principled and tolerant sort.
Despite a healthy desire for intimacy, I am disgusted by the misogyny of my peers, and constantly distance myself from their chauvinistic and self-serving attitudes towards women. I treat everyone with respect and kindness, even if it is not returned as such.
I'm a sensitive yet passionate type of "old-fashioned guy" who feels he's out of step with the way things are going nowadays in terms of relationships. I've observed that many women I've met neither appreciate the gallantry nor the sincerity of my words, and I get the sense that, to them, I'm just "talking a good game", when it is in fact not the case.
My questions to you folks in /r/relationship_advice:
Did I screw this up? If yes, is this beyond repair?
If yes to both questions in (1), what can I do to improve my chances in future relationships?
If no to both questions in (1), what would be my next best steps?
Any other supportive comments/advice are also welcomed. Thanks for reading.
( | old-school guy out of bad relationship, just got into new meaningful relationship with large age difference, tragedy struck new partner, new partner is grieving and now has to deal with my "I love you" proclamation, not sure if love is reciprocated, I'm thinking I screwed up big time, need help/advice) |
lucretiuss | Fitness | t5_2qhx4 | t3_1ps775 | Hey guys, super quick questions. I want to be eating lots so I can gain. For me (6'3", 163lbs), I'm very slim and tall and it takes quite a bit of food to eat enough of a surplus to make decent gains.
The problem I have is that I'm a grad student and as such I dont have a ton of time to prepare meals and stuff. I dont eat any crap (fast food, etc) and buy basically just meat and veggies etc.
Is there any supplements I can reliably take to meet a caloric surplus that are healthy to use regularly? (total noob here). I have a protein shake every morning, and occasionally a clif "builders" bar.
So yeah, | anything to eat snack wise (supplements or just really good food) that I can eat on a regular basis that is healthy when I dont have the time to prepare real meals? |
[deleted] | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_1ptzx4 | Be forewarned, back story plus three years of history. Long read, I will try to make it interesting.
In 2010, my best friend of 10 years decided to join the army. I was extremely bummed out because while I have many acquiantances, I don't have many "friends." Him leaving was a huge blow to my social life. At this point, he had also been in an on and off relationship with said gf. They've been on and off because he had basically gone from ending his relationship with his previous gf (28/f), and jumping into this current one.
The propblem with this was that since the break up was so sudden, they never really a chance to get closure, this resulted in them still hooking up while he was with his current gf. Despite all that, the current gf stayde because she knew (or thought) that she was in love with him. They were together up until he left.
Before he had gone, I asked him what his intentions were with his current gf. I knew that they had their problems, but I didn't know if it would be worth it for both of them to endure a 3 year contract with the military. He said that he was going to stay with her because he loved her.
One thing he did tell me before he left was to take care of his gf while he was gone (i.e. emotional support, etc) Deep down, we both knew that she was a good person and that cheating would not be something she woud try to do. Before he left, he tried to get us to be friends, kind of in a forced way. Like he'd insist on me and my girl at the time hanging out with them. I mean it was cool and all but you can tell that he wanted me to get comfortable with her so that it wouldn't be weird after he left.
His gf and I also happened to go to the same University. One night, I got a flat tire on the freeway and had no time to get it fixed by the following morning. I asked her if we could carpool together, and I think it was at this point that we realized we had a lot in common. She suggseted that we alternate who drive to school every week in order to save some gas. It was through this that we had gotten really close.
My current ladyfriend at the time started to notice all the time I had been spending with her and proceeded to dump me. Of course, I went to her for comfort. Not too long after that, she had gotten an anxiety attack because she was starting to miss my friend and I took her to get some pancakes. If we weren't friends before, this definitely solidified it.
My friend would come back from leave every now and then, and during this time, I would hardly hang out with her, but the frequency of us talking on the phone would remain unchanged. I always did notice that there was some tension because for the first time ever, my friend saw me as a threat to his relationship. We talked about it, and I told him the truth, that no one understands what the other is going through in terms of not having him around but me and her, and because of that, we got close and support each other, BUT that nothing inappropriate was going on.
We stay close for the next year and a half. Last year, one of our dear friends was going to get married, and she was going to be the maid of honor. I was definitely going to go, but it was this point that she told me that I would be her "plus 1." I mean, in a way, it didn't surprise me but it was still kind of weird to hear.
The wedding was to take place on a Friday, and I had made plans to just come and go that same day. At around 6 the day before, she had called me asking what I was doing. I said that I had just gotten off of work and I was just going to chill at home. She then tells me to come a day early because she didn't know anybody there and did not want to be alone. I had nothing better else to do so I obliged.
By the time I got the place, she was already drunk from the rehearsal dinner and was way more friendly with me than I could remember. We've drank together before but it was never to this point. She would not let me leave her sight, every time I went to the bar to get a drink, she would follow me. After drinks, I tried to go to the hotel lobby in order to book a room, she promptly asks me to save my money and just split her room with her. Still thinking nothing of it, I agreed.
That night, she told me to sleep in the bed with her because she didn't want me to have to sleep on the floor or whatever. I reluctantly agreed. In the middle of the night, she starts to spoon me, and kiss my neck. I asked her what she was doing and all could respond with was "this just feels right." I had to push her off, and we spoke nothing of it the next day.
The day of the wedding, we both get drunk and kissed. She immiedately starts to cry right after it happened and I told her that it was a mistake, we care for each other and that we were drunk. That it meant NOTHING. Normally I would've told my friend about the issue but I had become her friend at this point as well, it's basically a situation where I burn out one friend in favor of another, which I was not willing to do.
Long story short, we've had on and off moments of romance since that night. I'm currently seeing a girl but I know deep down that nothing will come of it. My friend's gf has ruined every other woman to me because she is the epitome of everything I want. I've nevr fought with her in the three years I've talked to her.
Flash forward to last friday, we decided to get drinks with some of our friends at a bar by my apartment. We had gotten pretty plastered and I was not comfortable with lettind her drive home. I set up a bed for her at my couch and she told me to sit with her. She then started to cry. She cried because my friend will be coming home from the army in 2 months and she doesn't know what will become of us when he comes back.
My friendship with her for the last three years has pretty much been the best time of my life. It was never a relationship but it definitely felt like one. I don't know what to do.
EDIT: | friend went to army, got really close to his gf, he'c coming back soon. We're both worried that it won't be the same. |
SlothRunningTeam | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_1puyu9 | My best friend [20F] came out of the closet this year as a lesbian . She started dating this older woman, 6 years older. She has been a lesbian for 12 years.
Right off the bat, I started noticing red flags about her new girlfriend. I would sometimes go visit my friend at work and every time I would go there, within 10 minutes her girlfriend would come out of no where! She has a job so she leaves her job to come and "check in" on her girlfriend. Who does that?! The way she looks at me scares the shit out of me. I'm 100% straight so I don't get why she should feel threatened by me.
Within the past few months, I started noticing that my friend would stop talking to her other friends and she would give me lame ass excuses like "oh she just stopped talking to me one day." At first I believed it but soon after there were only myself and a few other friends that I knew of that kept in contact with her.
One day my best friend called me and she was crying, begging me to come pick her up and obviously I jumped in my car and immediately went to go get her. She opened up to me about EVERYTHING. Saying how her gf wants her to get inseminated (they were only dating 2 months at this time) and asking her what her ring size is.
Then stuff started getting scary when she told me her gf has to have access to her phone so she knows who she's talking to and what they are talking about. She has to know all of her passwords for everything, can't leave the house without a valid reason, etc. I felt so bad for her. I told her she could stay the night at my house and she did. Two hours later, her gf showed up at my house demanding her to get in her car. I just locked my door and told her to leave. She stayed outside for an hour. Calling and texting my friend every second of it.
About a month ago, she stopped talking to me, never really returned my texts or Facebook messages. So I started sending her one everyday until she replied which was last week. She sounded like she was in a rush. I told her we have to get together this week and she agreed. So I messaged her when I was in her part of town the other day and nothing. She never replied.
I checked her twitter today and she said "deleting all the shitty people from my life that I don't need." Sure enough, she blocked me (even my bf) from Facebook, Instagram, and even went the extra step and blocked my number from her cell phone.
I am so hurt, how could she let this happen? What do I do?
(Sorry for the long description)
** | my best friend [20F] who came out this year, cut me out of her life today for her controlling, insecure, psycho girlfriend [26f] and now I'm left here confused and hurt. What should I do? How do I handle this?
Edit: it's been a few months since I posted this, but long story short. I reconnected with her recently. I was really missing her one day so I texted her and she replied! Turns out her and her gf broke up last month. Were gonna meet up for coffee one of these days :) |
[deleted] | AskWomen | t5_2rxrw | t3_2ktuzh | To cut a long story short, ever since I had a botched circumcision (its kind of done the opposite to what it normally does in that I'm far too sensitive and finish far too quickly), i'm super paranoid about my sexual ability.
It was always a problem with my ex, but because of it I've listened to every bit of advice possible and been told what I can do with my mouth and hands more than makes up for it.
I've been seeing a girl for two weeks and we've fooled around but haven't gone the whole way yet, i'm very afraid that if I can't perform in bed after the foreplay she's going to end up really disappointed.
So the | of it is, if your partner couldnt perform for long with his penis but could satisfy you enough with his hands and mouth would you be happy with that? |
soapbubble | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_2ku39r | So I'm not going to get into any details about my relationship. I can't even tell you why we broke up because the best reason I got was an "I don't know". I recently got out of a long term relationship and had to take some time to myself after so I didn't associate the friends I'd made over the last few years with the ex and use them as a easy way to gain information and have them help me get her back, etc, etc.
I'm in a healthier spot and realizing all things come with an expatriation date and ours was just up. That being said I did attempt to be friends again after a few months. Based on her past behavior with ex's I felt that maybe we could chat every now and then. Keep in touch. But there was this irrational (for her) silence to me. I noticed when trying to get back in touch with friends I had, no one seemed very interested and it was kind of random because these were good people in my book.
Then today the messages started coming in. Various people began messaging me about how they're "... glad I'm gone" and how, "the friendship was for the sake of your ex", etc.
By no means was I an amazingly shining example of a perfection in a relationship, but I did try. All these people I've spent hundreds of dollars on over the years helping out with food, or tickets to shows and events, or making sure they were included in things.
I'm gleaning from these messages that apparently there are more than a few rumors suddenly going on about me and the coldness from people makes more sense.
I guess the | version: Months after break up I'm starting to get random messages from random people each stating different things about me that I'd never heard of before. Obviously rumors are afoot and I've lost pretty much all my friends because of them. Is there any way to deal with it head on or is it better to just shake my head and try to tell myself a real friend would have come to me with this looking for clarification before accepting it as gospel and painting me with a red brush? I mean, is it worth fighting and standing up for myself or should I just consider all of this a chapter closed in my life and look to interact and meet with entirely new people and write everyone I knew off?
Thanks for any input. Appreciate it. |
SinkCarrier | Fitness | t5_2qhx4 | t3_2kur69 | Hello folks,
About five weeks ago I began a new strength journey on ICF 5x5 program - I'd been doing a brosplit for a long time, but found myself with only 3 days a week of available gym time - and found it might actually lead to some gains. It has! My following lifts are the weight I can manage 5x5:
Overhead press increased from 125lb-145lb resetting this.
Just hit a reset bench at 220lb.
My deadlift is lacking, but am resetting from 285, I felt my form suffering here so I decided to deload and work back up.
Row - Nonexistant rowing to 170lb pendlays.
Now for the big problem - my squat hit about 240 lb before I failed a set, and was unable to complete 5 for the remaining sets. This has happened TWICE. I.e. I am now at the spot where I will be resetting for a second time. So I am beginning to think this lift should progress to a 3x5 routine. Would I be correct in saying this is how I should proceed? I much neglected leg work in the past, so I realize it is VERY close to my bench.
Err, so I guess to | do I work back to 240 AGAIN and see if I progress, or since this is the second reset do I proceed to 3x5. Derp. Thanks. |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2kuyb4 | The other day I smoked. I don't do it often, so when I do I generally get fairly high. When this happens my brain goes in deep thought mode. And this time I wrote down the major thought that was going through my head. I want to share what I wrote and then kind of decipher it. But I also want others to give me advice on a course of action. Please note that this is full blown cheesy but this is how I was feeling during that time:
"Here is a question about growing.
Do I stay in a relationship I'm OK with and continue on with my life and keep feeling comfortable, and not accomplish much?
Or
Do I decide to face my laziness in the face and start doing stuff with my life? Do I push away the woman that makes me feel complacent and unmotivated?
Do I push away the woman that DOES make me comfortable; who will be there through thick and then.
Or do I just look loneliness in the eyes and and tell it there will be a better life in the future if I stick it out?"
But the | decrypted version is:
I'm at a time in my life where I can make two choices. Stick with a normal safe life. Or drop the safe life/gf and go for much more in life. |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2kvj11 | Ok, so I'm new to reddit and I'm facing a problem I know should not be so hard on me but idk how to deal with it. And so I'm here
So me[M/23] and my SO[F/21] of 3 years broke up about a month ago due to her wanting to be "21 and free without having to answer to anyone"
I took it pretty hard especially considering the fact that we had planned on getting married we had talked about it so much and had it all planned out
Anyway during the break up she told me she would come back eventually became she still wanted our future together so I told her I would wait. At some point a few days after the break she got involved with another guy but told me they only would kiss. At this point I decided I needed to go and get the 'pre engagement' my grandmother gave to my mom who gave to me to give to the right girl.
I went over unannounced and she refused to answer the door ignored my texts and calls I told her I wasn't mad I just wanted the ring and I would leave. She eventually called the cops on me and gave them the ring to give to me (no problem there). A few weeks after that incident, she told me she wanted me back and she wanted our future together I was so happy but I had to ask if she did anything sexual with this guy. I had asked her a few times before and she lied and told me no, but she finally confessed that the day I went over to get the ring she had th other guy upstairs with her.
She admitted that the guy went down on her and fingered her after i left that night and the following night. It fucking devastated me even more so because when we got together she was a virgin and I was the only guy she had ever done anything more than kiss.
I realize that in this day and age something like this should be meaningless and not a big deal but it changed how I see her and I seriously can't stop thinking about it and seeing it in my head, literally 90% of the time.
I realize how ridiculous this may seem that it's such a big deal to me but it really is and is the only thing holding me back from being happy like I was before with her. It just feels so disrespectful that I was right outside that night and that after 3 years she could have another guy sexually only a few days after our break up.
I have only dated 4 girls and I realize it's ridiculous but I only date virgins, even though I have had a very promiscuous past myself. I know it's a big double standard and hypocritical but idk why it's such a big deal to me
I think is the main reason the small thing is bringing me so much stress.
(typing all this out was a small help in itself I guess because I finally vented my stress I suppose)
This is my first post on reddit because I'm out of ideas. so I'm sorry if I did not reddit correctly or left some stuff out. I didn't want this to be too long.
Any help or advice or outside perspective on the issue would be greatly appreciated. Feel free to ask me anything about the situation
[UPDATE] thanks guys for the feedback alot of this stuff is harsh but fair and I can appreciate that, but there's 2 sides to every story I was at fault too and the way I wrote this post came off so one sided but it's way too much to type out the entire thing at once.
The problem I mainly needed help with was getting over the sexual stuff because that right now is my biggest obstacle. I realize there's a million reasons to leave and from the outside looking in, its obvious that I should leave based on what I posted, however I don't see the harm in trying to rebuild our relationship right now I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I gave up on the only girl who's made me sincerely want marriage with over something that wouldn't matter to the vast majority of people.
Again, thank you for taking the time to read my post and help out but my main obstacle is trying to figure out how to overcome the sexual because that's the only thing standing in the way of me being happy right now, I know it will become less significant in time but right I could use advice on that.
(Also I realize the Virgin thing is abnormal but I find it extremely hard to see past someone's past :/ (hence this post) idk why but if I know a girl been with someone else it's all I think about to the point I obsess over it and it eats away at me but that is is for a different thread lol)
[ | my GF of 3 yrs and I broke up for a month and during that month she messed around with another guy. How do I get over this?? |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_2kxej6 | For background. We've been together for almost 2 years. I'm a year behind her in life. We met in her senior year of school and dated long distance through my senior year as well.
The struggle: I am a TV reporter. I've known I wanted to do this job since I got to school. She is a very good marketing/advertising major who was working in Boston my senior year.
I got a job at a TV station in Lubbock, Texas. It's a small, not overly interesting place but I have always known I was gonna have to start somewhere.
My girlfriend and I talked long and hard before I got this job and agreed that her job was more portable and that we were serious about each other and wanted to be together. So she made and amazing decision to come be with me.
But I think she is miserable. She moved about 3 weeks after I got here, and I hadn't really made many friends by that point. My girlfriend is very needy time wise, and we've basically done absolutely everything together since she got here. The problem is that I can't sustain that all the time. I enjoy playing games occasionally, going to grab a drink with coworkers etc... And every time I do so, it feels like I've let her down. She doesn't actually say that, but she does seem upset and I always have to cleer he up afterwards.
I feel badly because I know how much she gave up to come here, but I also feel 100% responsible for her here. She hasn't made any friends. Her work isn't what she wants it to be, and she feels so down on herself lately.
I would love some advice to fix this situation... I love this girl and want to know if I'm letting her down, if I need to help her find more to do, or if I need to just let her be free? That last possibility makes me hurt so much, but I want her to be happy and I think she's already decided that she cannot be happy here.
/b/ | b/ girlfriend moved to be with me. She hasn't made a life here, how do I help her?
Edit: for clarification, she has a "good" job... Pays well and good opportunity for her to get skills, but the bosses aren't the best and it leaves her stressed a lot. |
[deleted] | tifu | t5_2to41 | t3_2ky5t5 | A little back story. Less than one year ago I moved from a cold climate to one which is mild. Wanting to pick up on new experiences I decide to take on a small gardening project.
Having no clue where to start I head to the local home and garden store seeking advice. Staff was very helpful in choosing seeds, tools, and nutrients. Now armed with the goods I'm on my way to the cash register. But wait...what's this at the register? Catnip seeds! At home I have an aging cat that could use a reason to hit the scratching post again. Something for me and something for her, what a great day.
It was early summer and sunny as can be. The tomatoes, snap peas, and strawberries are coming in nicely. Catnip not so much. I didn't do research but assumed the plant needed more sun. Luckily this plant was still in its pot, so I move it to higher ground on the porch. Several weeks later the catnip is thriving!
Now I usually let my cat out on the porch so she can watch the birds and keep mice away. Old girl doesn't stray far, this being a new and still unfamiliar place. One day she stopped asking to go outside and I couldn't even talk her into it.
Fast forward several days. I need to know what's wrong out there. I thought she'd love fresh catnip. Which I'm sure she did. However, so did every other cat in the neighborhood. I do a quick search of the property. There are cats everywhere. By simply planting a seed for the first time in my life I had unknowingly created a 'felinic war zone'. One of which my old kitty cannot compete.
The plant is now an indoor plant. Kitty is back to playing outside :)
Edit: | planted catnip and compromised the safety of my cat and likely others. |
[deleted] | dating_advice | t5_2s4kl | t3_2kyuvm | This is longer than intended but could do with some advice because it's making me crazy!
Some backstory.
-Met this guy through work and we instantly hit it off, it felt like there was a ‘connection.
-one day he drove me home from work and mentioned his girlfriend, so any ideas I’d have were pushed aside and I tried to ignore the ‘connection’.
i barely knew him but when we talked it felt like i'd known him for years.
-a week before I was due to finish work and return to college, he added me on facebook and initiated conversation as soon as I accepted and we chatted all night, at first about work stuff and then more real life things, it felt so easy to talk to him.
-conversations continued, even late one night when he was away, my friend said that was not normal for a guy with a gf, and said some of his messages were quite flirty and hinted at interest.
-my other friend thinks I’m an idiot and he clearly is either 1 a nice guy or 2. Wants a back up
-the day I was driving back to college I put up a status and people commented, he messaged me instead and told me to promise I’d ‘keep in contact’. So we continued chatting through facebook messages for the last few months.
-one day he put up a lovey dovey status with his gf, all the while he had messaged me about some random stuff (parties he had attended and asking me about college), so I mentioned I’d been on a date with some guy. He instantly replied that ‘he knew what he was doing so’ and stuff like that. I waited a few days to reply, and genuinely tried to give this guy I was dating my full interest, but I had my head somewhere else. With work guy. So I was drunk one night on facebook message and replied to his message with ‘haha, he does, but I don’t think he’s for me’ and I put an emoji. And then I said ‘how’s work going?’
-that message was almost two weeks ago now and he hasn’t replied, but it said ‘seen’ like minutes after I’d sent it. I’m so embarrassed, not only because it confirms he’s not interested, but I made myself seem like a total creep and now I can’t take it back. If he could just reply and I could mention I am still seeing this other guy, maybe our friendship could remain, but it doesn’t look like he will reply since he’s putting up pictures on dates with the girlfriend.
- | messaging a guy with a gf (which should have been a warning sign!), I shouldn’t be upset over this but I am, I had this stupid notion in my head that once I returned home we’d meet again and our connection/friendship would resume, obviously I was naïve, and now I’ve ruined it and made myself seem so stupid, as well as taking advantage of another nice guy who actually wants to date me. Advice would be welcomed because I’m so humiliated! |
robstar211 | tifu | t5_2to41 | t3_2kz1kb | I fucked up bigtime. Im sat at work on the computer now, still embarrased.
I am an estate agent, I have to show people round houses they potentially want to purchase.
I needed a shit. Not any shit, a shit that you just CANNOT contain. Protien shakes and regular gym workouts never help the bowels... My office has a shared bathroom, and I work with two pretty hot girls. So shitting at the shared toilet in the office was NOT an option. Some of you guys on here will understand, but I know some of your views will be...well if you need a shit...you go and shit...Well not me, I'm the type of guy that likes to shit in my own home fullstop.
The house I was showing the people was vacant, so I thought, right, I will book my appointment half an hour before tha actual appointment time, so i can let rip. It will be like shitting in my own home, peace and quiet, no worries.
Enter the house, great, this is it, the pain will go, the horrific gas will go. Unzip, undo belt, ahhhhhhhhh. 2 minuites later, relief. Protein shake, gone.
Everything is Looking good, and a bonus there was leftover spray in the cupboard, no body will ever know.....
Fuck. Just Fuck. Why didn't I think...who pays water bills for a house that been empty for 2 years? That's right, no one. so theres this great staming pile of shit in a toilet that won't flush, with customers coming to look in the next 15 minuites.
Decision and plan of action time....they arrived. I luckily avoided the embarrasment of them inspecting the toilet, some people would, in the area I live, and then you get those people that come in and ask to use the toilet. Yep. "We've been traveling all morning, would you mind if we use the bathroom?". I fucking mind.
Go, Brain, think. Think. Thats it. "I was hoping you wouldnt ask, but the last clients that came in asked exactly that, they used it, and unfortunatley the toilet will not flush, so I would advise not using it, as its propably very unhygeinic and someone is coming to sort it". Good. It worked, and It also cut the viewing short. possibly jeperoadised the sale though. No fucks given. "Goodbye, I will just stay and lock up, I also need to take more photos so I will let you guys go"
I still had to sort my shit out. Pick it out? Fuck no. Water? well theres no fucking water! This was a vieiwng from hell. After they went I had a brain wave. Go to the supermarket, they sell thos big-ass water bottles. I'll just chuck it in the top and hope the flush mechanism is still working.
I went the next morning. Holy fucking shit. The owner. "Hi uhh Mr..." Yeah i forgot his name....good start.
I then had to lie about how the provious customers the day befroe needed the bathroom and the toilet didnt work, and that I was there to sort it. Luckily he brought it, and he thought it was good of me to come and rectify it.
The only issue, is that they have now put an offer in for the asking price. Lets hope this never gets uncovered. Or I will be making another TIFU about how I will get sacked, or how embarrasing it will be to now work with these two hot girls in my office, me, the guy that shits in peoples houses.
EDIT sorry for the | new to reddit, but really wanted to get the details across to you all, I will continue on from this if there is any more updates or it backfires. |
Hirraed | gaming | t5_2qh03 | t3_33p0di | Honestly, I think people are over reacting to Steam adding the option of paid mods. Individuals have been putting up pay and donate sites for their mods for many years now, hosting their own sites, paying fees, what have you. I do not do this nor buy from them (but I will take their free crap) so I do not claim to be an expert, but these modders are nothing new and I've seen them around frequently enough. So, no handy example link for you.
It seems as though the sheer reason users are upset is because its now an option they have to see on their Steam browser. If, like myself, you don't want to pay for a mod- Don't. Ignore that content and enjoy the amazing free content available.
This appears to be immensely easier for modders to post their content and make a profit. Again, I'm no expert, but this is like the [Etsy]( of modding. I think it will motivate more people to make more content of value, especially in time. And Skyrim seems to only be the beginning. There are some good possibilities here.
So, | either give it an open mind and see what cool mods come because of this, or just uncheck that box and forget it. |
[deleted] | Fitness | t5_2qhx4 | t3_33p4qi | Hi guys,
I've been working out a lot since last november or something and I'm starting to see results. I hit the gym almost every day and do one hour of exercises (that's all the time I have), cycling through all the different groups of muscles.
Recently, I've gotten a standing desk at my office. I love it so far, but I was wondering what the fitness benefits of standing are. Am I training my stamina, mostly? Or can I expect to get more muscular legs? And does all this standing influence my "regular" training? I have only been able to find stuff about the amount of calories you burn while standing, but that's it.
So | what are the fitness-related effects of standing for a long time daily? |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_33pu42 | My ex girlfriend and I dated for 4 years throughout university and broke up mutually because we thought we needed to grow on our own if we were going to continue dating. Our logic was that if we were supposed to end up together we would.
After a year I spoke to her about getting back together and she was still unsure. I was crushed at the time and so we didn't talk for a long time.
A few years have passed now and we have been hanging out together a couple times a week over the last month or so. It has made me realize I still have feelings for her, however, I'm not sure how she is feeling. I don't know if she sees this as us becoming friends or if she might have feelings also. I really like hanging out, it's super fun and just like old times (minus hand holding, kissing ect) but I'm worried if I tell her how I feel it may ruin what we have going.
We never talk or ask each other about dating. We are both single though.
I think that she must also be thinking about the possibility of things happening again but I'm nervous to ask her. What are your thoughts?
** | ex gf and I have been hanging out and it has re sparked my feelings for her but I'm not sure if she feels the same way |
gateflan | TwoXChromosomes | t5_2r2jt | t3_1lscpl | Hey little sis,
I hope you know that your body isn't wrong.
If you choose not to show it off, good for you. If you do choose to show it off, good for you. Being informed about how others might react to you is great, but please don't think that looking or feeling pretty is wrong all the time forever.
Acting as if girls are 'less' or 'wrong' just because they choose to show off their body is called slut shaming, and it makes the world a worse place. Whether you feel confident in long sleeves or a mini skirt doesn't mean you're any more or less of a person.
You are GORGEOUS, no matter what you choose to wear or not wear. You are cute and as soon as you stop being like seven you're going to be smokin' hot. You are not responsible for how others interpret your apparel. If you want to wear something skanky, that doesn't give anyone the 'right' to think dirty thoughts or touch you in ways you don't want to be touched. You deserve respect no matter what you are wearing.
So while it's great to try and make the world a more modest place for the sake of good Mormon boys, they are responsible for their own thoughts and actions. Now, if you choose for religious reasons (or whatever reasons!) that covering up is the best thing for you, then you go for it girl.
Anyway, I love you, and I just don't want you thinking that any part of your beautiful body is evil or ugly or wrong just because some family of cute blonde boys can't keep their dick in their pants when they see a snapchat.
Love,
Big sis
NOTE: My sister is fifteen. She's brilliant and really beautiful. She still lives at home and is active in my parent's religion. Since I am not a part of my parent's religion anymore, I have been asked to keep my 'life advice' to myself. However, I couldn't hold my tongue on this one. I can't have my perfect sister thinking that she's wrong for feeling pretty.
I hope this is some helpful advice to any of you out there who have been taught by religion, by your parents, or by whoever, that showing off your body is 'wrong.'
I hate to give the site traffic, but [here is the blog post for those interested]( The | is ' if you aren't a good enough person to cover up, then you aren't a good enough person to be friends with our sons.'
EDIT She's since changed the photos in the blog post, which were of her boys flexing on the beach- because when you show off your body, you're asking for trouble, right? right?- there are a few mirrors below.
Thanks for all the kind words everyone. This woman's blog post is getting more and more attention- please keep the inflammatory comments to a minimum. My post was not about tearing this woman's views down, but about building my sister up. Thanks.
Also- keep the Mormon references coming. Modest is hottest? Licked cupcakes? Pioneer treks in bulky clothes? I've found my people... |
poutina | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_267uvd | My sister, N, has been living with several people over the course of the last two years, after my mom moved with my youngest sister to Florida. I'd been engaged and living with my now-husband [23/m] and my sister was not so lucky to have a place to stay. At first, she stayed with my dad and step-mom (and that ended horribly), then she lived with her best friend and her mother. Eventually she settled into her boyfriend's apartment but they recently broke up and so she's in-between houses: mine, and her aforementioned girlfriend.
Here is a list of relevant information. I'll definitely clarify if need be.
Things to consider: My husband and I live in a small, one bedroom apartment and it's a violation of my lease to let my sister stay as long as I have. Luckily nobody seems to have noticed since we have people over fairly frequently and nobody has complained. Also we just got word that our rent will be going up an additional $50 with the renewal of the lease and that has us kind of on edge since we're not exactly "well off" financially.
Point 1: N went to school for cosmetology and graduated a year ago - she still needs to test for her license. She's gone twice to test but both times (yes only twice in the last year) happened to be "in-service days" which means nobody was there to test them.
Point 2: She works as a manager at a dry cleaner's for I think somewhere around $8/hr.
Point 3: She has no car, no license, and uses public transportation. Which is fine - but her shifts are 1pm to 7:30pm, and the buses don't run down our streets after 8; the bus route wouldn't get her into our area until 10pm.
Point 4: She works every day except Sunday - she will often either ask us to take her into work when we are able to, and to pick her up when her shift is done.
Point 5: It's about a 25 minute drive both ways no matter where we are (from home or from work). Average MPH is 50, so that's an additional 50 miles we drive on the days we need to drop her off or pick her up (give or take).
Point 6: I work 12 hour shifts at an Urgent Care, so I'm in at 8:30A and I'm out at 8:30P. Granted I only work a couple days a week but I get to tack on an extra hour of driving time home on days that my husband can't get her from work (his night shifts go til 9).
Point 7: Last month, she bought a plane ticket to go visit our mom for this Monday for an entire week despite us actively planning to go visit her in September so we could have enough time to save up for our tickets.
We don't ask her to put anything towards rent because we know she's making barely anything except save-money at the dry cleaner's, but we do ask her for gas money every now and again.
My husband feels like her buying this plane ticket is a huge slap in the face. We're trying to give her a place where she can stay while she starts building a foundation to be self-sufficient and she buys this plane ticket. Far be it from me to tell her how to spend her money but I'm definitely on my husband's side with this one.
Also on a selfish note I hate having to plan when I can have sex with my husband, or walk around naked in my house, or worry about if I have to interrupt my day mid-errand to make sure my sister gets to work.
Basically the | here is that my husband and I are trying to help my sister get sorted out after her breakup but generally we're feeling taken advantage of and I can't think of a way to bring this up to my sister. |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_269ebf | I randomly have spurts where I miss my ex and feel guilty about no contact and ignoring. She broke up with me but I still feel like I've been too hard on her. Any tips to help these waves pass or does time heal all? Should I ever be friends with her?
** | spurts where I feel like I've been to hard on my ex for dumping me? Wondering if I should ever be friends |
[deleted] | sex | t5_2qh3p | t3_269ece | I'm a guy in the second half of my twenties, and I've been thinking about asking this for years:
I hope you do know what I mean - as a guy - the "actual" act of sex bears little significance - while it is definitely enjoyable - the most important thing remains the "full access" (in a sense), the access to look at and touch a naked woman's body, as much as you want, indefinitely, infinitely, and with no limits - and that's where the most of the joy and the attraction comes from. The "getting off" part is just how it usually "happens to end", but is achievable on its own anytime, anywhere, within two minutes or so (I'm just being perfectly honest about things), and doesn't vary in its nature that significantly, whatever the circumstances.
While with women - based on everything I've heard with the ones I've been, and have known - they have stated, fairly often, that they actually "can't last without it" - as if a prolonged lack of sex (we're talking months or even years) leads to their bodies "physically breaking down" (and they didn't seem to mean "in a sense"), apart from any mental breaking down, which (again, not my assessment) may be happening as well.
I'm just curious - if such a big difference in physiology exists - why isn't it openly talked about? Girls talk about it among themselves, as I've heard here and there, but surely it should be discussed a lot more widely.
Anyway, I'm just curious - there is no | the whole thing is important, you may have to look for another thread.
About where my information comes from - I am a fairly non-social guy, always have been, but since certain age women seemed to start to approach me, rather than otherwise, which usually results in some random one-night-stands, without too much effort on my part (which I would never complain about). These occurrences may still be fairly spaced apart, but given that my life is setup in such a way that I rarely see any human beings at all - it's still incredibly surprising that they happen. I've also known girls who liked to confine in me, once in a while, simply because they knew me well, and felt that since I never really talk to any human being, period, and have no motivation to gossip (and willing to listen to them) - why not?
Anyhow - I'm hoping for personal opinions (for personal curiosity's sake only), from both sexes is fine - as long as they're the "honest to the bone", and aren't colored by any "general consensus" or "sense of solidarity", and what not. Especially, if you are a woman - I would ask that you speak as if you're the only woman that has ever existed and has never known any others to exist (and speak of yourself only, within that) - that seems to be the most reliable approach to me, for a less-biased inquiry. Thanks. |
[deleted] | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_269g4k | I randomly have spurts where I miss my ex and feel guilty about no contact and ignoring. She broke up with me but I still feel like I've been too hard on her. Any tips to help these waves pass or does time heal all? Should I ever be friends with her?
** | spurts where I feel like I've been to hard on my ex for dumping me? Wondering if I should ever be friends |
[deleted] | tifu | t5_2to41 | t3_269u4m | So about 2 months ago, I met this girl. She is a few years younger than me (I'm 22, she is 18) and works at a grocery store with my little brother who is 17. He had tried hitting on her before but she wasn't interested, but when she saw me come in to buy something she apparently was interested and added me on Facebook later that night. She messaged me and we talked for a few days and really got along pretty well.
Eventually, I drunkenly invited her to Steak N Shake with my friends one late night to actually meet face to face, and she was pretty cool in person too so i thought this might work out. We went on a few dates and were unofficially dating after about 2 weeks.
Now come Easter, I went to go have some beers with my grandpa and keep him company because he has some medical issues making him too weak to get around and leave the house to see the rest of the family. We were just talking about cars and stuff (I work at a car dealership and am a car enthusiast) and he brought up his deceased cousin, who was a car salesman, just talking about him in conversation. Thing is, his cousin shares the same exact last name as the girl I've been seeing, and it's a very uncommon last name. I sort of panicked, but thought maybe it was a fluke. That is, until he said he came from the same small town that she was originally from.
After some questioning, I found out yeah, that was her grandpa and we are 3rd cousins. We ended that relationship pretty much instantly. She started talking about it on Facebook and her parents kept making fun of her pretty openly on her statuses (she has a lot of mutual friends with me who could see it) so I decided I would just post a status telling the actual story before any rumors got started.
Now on my Facebook I'm pretty well-known for having very bad luck, especially with women. So of course, a friend makes a meme of me, but with slightly misleading text making it sound like I chose to date my cousin. Which gets shared a bit around Facebook. It's been about a month and I'm pretty sure it'll take a long time before people forget. I don't really know what I expected to happen by posting about it, but at least most people know the real story.
So yeah, | dated my cousin, posted about it on Facebook, made into a small meme. |
variole | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_26b8ye | We broke up because from time to time I would get mad/frustrated at my boyfriend over little things. He has work/school and I'm off for the summer so I have way too much free time. My ex likes to remain indifferent and not really the type that makes decisions (he doesn't care if we go out exclusively or not as long as we are together.) He felt that he couldn't suit my needs and left while still loving me. He's under stress from graduating and think's that this will make us happier. If we tried to be friends.
The reality is I was too busy being scared of losing the relationship that it blew up in my face. He made me happy but I didn't try to make myself happy. I realize this now and I'm improving it (not specifically for him but for me and the future.)
I still want to be with him and this relationship. I feel that it's more good and I can deal with my fuckups. I understand why he wouldn't be able to believe me.
What should I do to get him back? Show him that I'm trying to improve myself and that this relationship is important to me? He said he would be open to rekindling the relationship, but I just don't know how to go about this. I'm trying to keep little contact with him (we both go to the same university and a lot of the same friends).
* | boyfriend and I broke up due to my own emotional overreactions, want him back. He is open to this. How do I go about this? |
thisshipssailed | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_26cbi1 | We broke up a little less than two weeks ago. Although the breakup was amicable, it was one sided and I was hurt at the time. I deleted him and all pics of us together. I wasn't thinking, I was just being rash. That was far from what I wanted to do. I don't want to send the message that I wanted to cut him out of my life.
Well, he noticed it and bought it up during our last interaction. I explained to him why and said I regretted it immediately after and he simply said to add him back on when I'm ready.
Yesterday, I learned that he is upset/bitter about it. And he has been avoiding me. We have a mutual group of friends and they've been taking turn hanging out with each of us individually. I'm thinking it's due to me deleting him (?) or still torn about the breakup.
I'm fine, I have no resentment or anger over the breakup. I care for him and I know he made the best choice for him. And I'm happy that he was honest with me rather than dragging me along.
My question is, is it okay for me to add him back on so recently after the breakup?
** | deleted ex off of Facebook immediately after our breakup, he's upset about it and I regretted my action. Should I add him back on? |
throwaway11billion | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_26cxyw | I am currently in a LDR with a wonderful, caring, fantastic guy (we'll call him John). We've been dating for almost a year now, with about 8 months of it being LD. We met by chance, so this was a relationship that I did not expect to happen, but I am really happy, for the most part.
However, the challenging thing is that once again, this summer, I am spending it working elsewhere, halfway across the country. I haven't seen John in almost 3 months, and I won't get to see him until late this fall. We talk every night on Skype and we work really hard to keep the relationship going across the distance, but there is a part of me that feels like John is more in love with an idealistic version of me-- we've been around each other maybe three times this year, and it's always amazing, but I don't feel like we have a "real" relationship, as I am a person who thrives on physical contact and intimacy, and I don't get that with a Skype screen.
I consider myself a fairly rational, reasonable woman, as well as something of a "late bloomer". I was never attractive in high school and through most of college and I never really had an interest in boys at all. I've had two serious relationships in my life, one of which was abusive, the other...complacent. We broke up due to being in different parts of our lives, but we still remain good friends.
At my job, I have met a guy we'll call Steve. Steve is ridiculously attractive and a lot of fun to be around, and is obviously interested in me, and I am finding myself really torn about how to handle the situation.
The obvious answer is to either break it off with John (or worse-- have a fling with Steve and not tell John), but neither of those feel like the right decision. I love John, he is a great guy, but his absence is making it incredibly difficult for me to feel like I'm in a worthwhile relationship, and Steve is literally next door.
The situation is difficult because, well, I've never dealt with this before. I've always fallen in love with personality and character, not just good looks. (Neither of my exes were in any way conventionally attractive). I don't gawk at men on the street or fantasize about anyone but John, but Steve is sort of rocking that foundation of rational responsibility that I feel like I've built for myself.
I know this question sounds a bit strange, but I am sending this out to the Reddit-verse because I've just honestly never BEEN in this situation before. I've never instantly looked at a guy and felt this way, I've never been physically attracted "on sight" to someone, and Steve's open flirtation is making me question everything I've known about how my feelings and attractions work.
I am confused about how to proceed or how to responsibly handle these feelings.
I suppose my | might be: I'm a 28 year old woman with a school girl crush and an open opportunity to "make it happen", but I don't feel right about any of my options.
edit: left out a bit.
Thank you, Reddit! |
JBsmile | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_26fz98 | So i [M/28] met one mongolian girl [F/24] almost 2 years ago while she was studying in Suisse. We started as friends though i had some feelings for her from the beginning.
The problem was she thought me as a player and not a serious guy but a good friend. Now she finished her study and went back to her country. And i realized how much i love her. Every night i went to bed thinking if her and every morning when i open my eyes she is still in my head.
At first , i thought maybe after a month i would forget her, but it has been 7 months since she has gone.but the pain in my heart is growing day by day. I really dunno what to do now. She is extremely caring kind, smart snd super cute. I tried to meet other girls but no one got my interest.
I always try to chat wid her through skype snd fb but since we are far and because of the time difference it is hard. Help me ! what to do?
[ | i cannot forget my crush. It is hard to start a relationship. What can i do now? |
Coralnails | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_26g04d | I was dating a guy for a year. We were never exclusive, dated other people but I loved him very deeply. I. Had a rough year and wasn't the most open person so I put a lot of blame on the way the relationship turned out on myself. At the same time, I always felt that I was his back up girl because he would always tell me he wasn't ready for a relationship. My year was dark so I put up with a little affection instead of nothing which was wrong.
About six months ago he tells me he has is seeing someone and it's serious,I was heartbroken and finally told him how deeply I loved him but it was too late. He was in love with the other girl.
He said we could still be friends and I hung on to that - almost desperately for a month or two. Texting him, trying to be close and he always responded - telling me he missed me, calling me pet names.
Then one day I stopped texting him. I started counting how long i could go without texting him. I thought I was getting good at it.
He still texted me off and on but I didn't respond. About a month ago, he's started texting more - at 2 in the morning, funny pictures that showed he was thinking of me and of what we had. Like once a week, asking how I am, hoping that I'm ok.
I finally gave in and responded. I said I was okay.
What is he trying to get at? Is it more mind games? Trying to make me his back up girl? Can I just ask him to leave me alone?
While I did love him and will always have him in my heart. I don't want him anymore.
** | he dumped me, moved on and now is checking up on me? What gives? |
Eph289 | leagueoflegends | t5_2rfxx | t3_218iu3 | The defensive mastery tree in Season 4 is arguably the most powerful sets of masteries. Cloth5 is here to finish the breakdown on this tree and analyze the gold value of each of the choices to help understand their relative strength. I’m Eph289 and for this installment, I’ll examine the higher-tier defensive masteries and their gold value.
Analysis Methods
Every statistic in League of Legends has a gold value based on how much it would cost you to buy that stat in an item. Usually, the lowest-denomination of that item is used to determine the value of the stat. For armor, a Cloth Armor costs 300 gold and yields +15 Armor, so we derive a value of 20 gold per point of armor. We can derive a value of 20 gold per point of MR using the cost-to-MR ratio of the Null-Magic Mantle. Some of the masteries are less gold efficient per point than others, and we’ll consider this when we make our comparison.
Some masteries will have variable or conditional activation that affects the gold value. Some masteries are much better late game when you’re stacking them onto a lot of resists or health. Some masteries only come into play when you’re near enemy champions or get hit by a critical strike. It’s also worth noting that gold efficiency is NOT the only metric to evaluate masteries. Butcher in the offense tree only gives 72 gold worth of AD against minions BUT any last-hits that would’ve been missed without it should also be added to the consideration.
Also note that when I give a gold value for some of those masteries, it represents an approximate average value, as sometimes there is no exact value.
The analysis for the lower half of the defensive masteries tree can be found at Here's the | breakdown:
Block: Good on everyone
Recovery: Solid early game choice; eclipsed in gold value by Enchanted Armor lategame for tanky champions
Enchanted Armor: Good lategame choice for tanky champions; eclipsed in gold value by Recovery early even on tanks
Tough Skin: Good for junglers; skip otherwise
Unyielding: One of the best masteries in the entire tree by gold value for both ranged and melee
Veteran’s Scars: Good on everyone
Bladed Armor: Good for junglers; skip otherwise
Oppression: Great choice for anyone with lots of CC or who will buy Randuin’s Omen, Rylai’s Crystal Scepter, etc.
Juggernaut: The best third-tier mastery for 9 in defense setups.
Hardiness: Good on junglers and heavy-defense setups. Avoid if only 9 deep.
Resistance: Good for heavy-defense setups, especially against AP-heavy teams. Avoid if only 9 deep.
Perseverance: Strong on everyone, but especially regen tanks
Swiftness: Good on everyone
Reinforced Armor: Situational very high gold value against high-crit teams/champions
Evasive: Situational very high gold value against heavy AP * Second Wind: Good on everyone, especially regen/drain tanks
Legendary Guardian: Decent gold value in 4 or 5-man teamfights, not amazing otherwise
Runic Shield: Skip
Tenacious: Strong on everyone
Want to know how we arrived at these conclusions? Read our full analysis at |
[deleted] | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_218lmc | Final edit i will not contact him at all. I will be moving early (in two days) instead. For the next two days i will disconnect my internet and get rid if my phone/comp etc. I am deleting all my email acct and online profiles i will force myself to stop thinking about him and will not contact him in any way again. I am going to see a professional who specializes in mental health as soon as i move. This has nothing to do with my gender. It has everything to do with my mental state which is falling apart. i will leave it alone and hope that i did not destroy his life. Thank u all for ur brutal honestly. I needed to hear it and have noone in my life to tell me. I am thinking about leaving this post up just to hope he will eventually find it and have some closure since i know it is a very bad idea for me to be the one to give him. I will stay far away and try very hard not to bump into him before i leave since i am scared that seeing him will make me revert to my previous thoughts and obsession.
edit2: do you know of any way i could contact him anon after i've gone? I know everyone thinks i shouldn't but b/c of some of the things i did this guy may be looking over his shoulder wondering who in his life is screwing w/ him forever if i don't. I really dug into his profiles and knew names/places from his life in canada that i used in my message to both of them. I really posed like someone he knows who is going to take away his gf w/o saying who it was. I know it was wrong and i will be geting therapy. I just cant leave it like this. If i don't fess up he could really be messed up for a very long time.and he does not know my apt nbr in the building so he really cant link it to me. I want to confess not for me but to let him know that he doesnt have to worry about this anymore
Edit:so i wont approach him in person. How bout sendin an anon fb message linking to this? I need him to know im sorry and kno what i did was wrong.
I have fallen off the wagon. I think i a officially insane. For the last week i've been messing with this guy online. I didn't intend to... It just kind of happened. About 3 weeks ago i posted an ad on craigslist looking for a fwb. This guy replied (lets call him Dick). Dick seemed pretty cool. I sent him some photos and we agreed to meet. I told him my address and then he just dropped communication. I should mention that I am M to F. I told him this before we decided to meet and he seemed ok with it. I was pretty devastated that we did not meet. He was the only person who replied who was ok with my transition. Ok he backed out without giving me a reason or a heads up, fine whatever i dont care. For a few weeks i was ok. I didn't care too much. I forgot about him. Then on st patricks day i saw him. It was really late at night. I was about to walk into my building when there he was inside the door.. Standing waiting for someone. I chickened out to go in and waited on the side where he couldn't see me. Then I see this black girl stumbling up to him. She was drunk and was walking wobbly. They go in and get on the elevator. I go after them, late enough so they couldn't see me. Turns out he lives a floor above me! What the hell. Dick could have told me this was the reason he did not want to meet. I was thinking that it was b/c of my transition. I've been depressed since i cant get the full surgery just yet. I was thinking that i would always be a freak who no man wants. This is where i get out of hand. I am not proud if what i did next. I started to look him up online. He replied to my email with his real email that had his real name so it was easy to find his facebook/instagram/ and youtube since they are all under his name. I spent the night going through his social media. Turns out the fucker has a girlfriend in canada who has no idea that he is looking for sex on craigslist in america!. I had an idea that he had a gf but i thought she knew what he was doing. She had no fucking clue. So I decide to message her on fb and let her know what was up. That would have been fine hut i didnt stop there. I kept messaging her telling her that she can do much better. I tried to convince her that there are guys in her place who love her and will be better to her than this cheating scumbag. Over the last week i've been sending her messages telling her she is perfect and can do much better. I also messages him in fb telling him that he will lose her b/c he is a asshole who doesn't deserve her. The last message i sent was lasst night telling him he knew who it was and that all he had to do to make it stop was tell me via email or something. I truly did believe that he knew i was the one doing it and was not responding to taunt me. Though i know now that is not the truth.
I'm starting to think that what i did was wrong. Yea he is a cheater but i shouldnt be bothering him. He rejected me and I should be ok with that. There is no chance of him identifying me since the photos of me i sent through craigslist were jot actually me (yeah i know.. Wrong but i was going to be honest when we met). I am jot going to message his gf or him again. I am moving from the state on the 1st so ill never see him again. I'm wondering if I should find him and confess before i leave so he knows who it was and can yell at me or get his anger out for what i did? I know his apt number so i can just go knock on his door.
--- | was supposed to meet a guy on cl. He blew me off. Found out we live in the same building. Found him online and messaged his gf telling her he is cheating. Should i confess to him what i did? |
sharpgreen | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_21b56f | She does not want to go to parties with me, but does want to with her friends. She says she can't really explain it and admits it must therefore be hard for me to understand, which is true.
Has anyone else experienced this?
<b> | gf goes to parties with friends, but doesn't want to go with me. |
TurtlesAl1TheWayDown | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_21b890 | My partner and I have been together for three years. After a year together he found out via an accident on my brothers part that I had previously been in a physically abusive relationship. He confronted me about it and I came clean about the situation, about how very few people (2 family members) know and how I wasn't really interested in sharing it with anyone else as I don't want something one crappy person did to me to define me or affect my future.
Over the next couple of years the issue was brought up a few times but he mostly left it alone which I appreciated. I've dealt with it, it's in the past and I'm just fine.
Unfortunately that changed last week. We had been out with some friends and when we got home we got into an argument over something relatively minor. I should mention at this point that my partner has bipolar 2, and while he medicated and manages it very well he does become easily stressed and frustrated when we argue.
When the argument degenerated into name calling (on his part) I took it as a cue to call "time" on the argument, which is what we've mutually agreed to do when stress gets the better of him in a fight. We normally seperate ourselves and come back to the disagreement at a later time with calmer and clearer heads.
However this time my partner was having none of it.
I had gone to a separate room and closed the door. But my partner started banging on it, yelling and telling me to get out of the apartment. I was also pretty angry at this point so I told him fine, grabbed my bag and went to leave.
He stood in the doorway and told me not to leave. I said 'I'm not having this. I'm going to bed and we will talk about it in the morning'
I got into bed, he stood over me and yelled, clapped, started pulling the covers etc. he said he wanted my house keys. I was angry so I threw them across the room and told him to get them if he wanted them. The hit the wall and fell to the floor.
He started screaming at me "Get them!" "Pick them up!". I told him to get them himself and to leave me alone.
At this point he got really close to my face and grabbed my arm. Telling me to pick them up. This is where I became quite frightened and told him to let go of me. He didn't, so I started screaming at him to let me go.
Instead he pulled my arm and dragged me down off the bed. It hurt and I was freaking out. He kept yelling at me to get the keys, so I ran and got them and locked myself in the bathroom.
I think I had some sort of panic attack. He was banging on the door and saying "No wonder your ex hit you". This made me think that if I came out he was going to hit me too. I started breathing really fast and crying and shaking. I don't remember what else happened but I fell asleep on the bathroom floor.
The next morning when I woke up he was in the lounge room. He had cut his arms up and told me he had to call the suicide hotline that night. He said he was sorry and that he felt so guilty and would never have hit me. He has promised to go to therapy about his anger.
I don't know if I'm letting my past effect the way I think now but I am scared if him. He is normally a good kind man and has never been violent before but now I'll have nightmares about him and if he moves too quickly near me I flinch. Am I being paranoid? I know and accept that people do and say things in anger that they don't mean, and I know his BPD makes that worse. Should I give him the benefit of the doubt?
* | my partner became physical in a fight and now I'm afraid this will escalate to him hitting me. What should I do |
insusurratio | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_3dsfal | Alright. So we had a relationship for about a year. There was this ex (18/f) who always tried to mess up out relationship. Eventually, it got the best of me and I just stopped trusting him. We broke up in April (1 year + 2 months) and got back together in mid June. So far we've been together for about a month. Still, while the time apart from each other was good, and my love for him didn't change, I still can't seem to get over the psychotic trust issues he (or I) left me with.
It's so stupid, if he doesn't text me back within a ten minute time span, i flip into the worst mood. I'm short, rude, and just down right nasty to him. If he calls me to try and talk/apologize to me, I just shut him off and ignore him. Then if he gets quiet it turns into a screaming match and I accuse him of cheating, ignoring me, hating me, etc, knowing good and well he doesn't do any of those things.
Honestly it's the same thing when we're hanging out/on a date. If he doesn't talk to me non-stop I just get pissy and start accusing him of the same stuff. We argue for hours when I get like this. I know he doesn't cheat, I'm far prettier than his ex, I know he doesn't ignore me and I know he loves me.
But how can I put more trust in him (is that even the problem here?)
How can I make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen again? How can I convince myself that he's not plotting against me and doesn't want to hurt me?
<b> | how can I stop my abusive behavior and love my boyfriend after I've been hurt? |
insusurratio | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_3dslvf | Alright. So we had a relationship for about a year. There was this ex (18/f) who always tried to mess up out relationship. Eventually, it got the best of me and I just stopped trusting him. We broke up in April (1 year + 2 months) and got back together in mid June. So far we've been together for about a month. Still, while the time apart from each other was good, and my love for him didn't change, I still can't seem to get over the psychotic trust issues he (or I) left me with.
It's so stupid, if he doesn't text me back within a ten minute time span, i flip into the worst mood. I'm short, rude, and just down right nasty to him. If he calls me to try and talk/apologize to me, I just shut him off and ignore him. Then if he gets quiet it turns into a screaming match and I accuse him of cheating, ignoring me, hating me, etc, knowing good and well he doesn't do any of those things.
Honestly it's the same thing when we're hanging out/on a date. If he doesn't talk to me non-stop I just get pissy and start accusing him of the same stuff. We argue for hours when I get like this. I know he doesn't cheat, I'm far prettier than his ex, I know he doesn't ignore me and I know he loves me.
But how can I put more trust in him (is that even the problem here?)
How can I make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen again? How can I convince myself that he's not plotting against me and doesn't want to hurt me?
<b> | how can I stop my abusive behavior and love my boyfriend after I've been hurt? |
truerecluse | relationships | t5_2qjvn | t3_3durfh | Background: I met this guy online(though, not a dating site) about 6 weeks ago. It turns out we live about a half hour a way from each other, go to the same university(he's in another program) and we really clicked when we would text each other which was almost everyday for the entire 6 weeks. I know he's not a catfish, and neither am I, so this isn't the issue or anything.
Anyway, we hit it off, and we've been talking about meeting up for the past 3 weeks. He was traveling a lot and got busy with work, and I was busy with work as well, so we couldn't meet up sooner. I always just said, lets do something the week after, so that way we can have a sort of plan and be able to get a day off from our other obligations. He was fine with that and was very enthused about our eventual meetup.
Fast forward to 4th of July weekend, he asks me out on Sunday. I told him I couldn't meet Sunday, as I would be out of town for the weekend, and I wanted to do something the following week anyway. He understood and was fine with that and we continued talking to each other normally.
Well, I got back on Monday, fast forward to Thursday, there was some light "flirty" messages going back and forth and he suddenly asks, "wanna meet up tonight?" Here's the kick, I don't own a car, yet. I have to borrow my brother's car, just for a few more weeks. I told him, "I can't meet up tonight, because I can't borrow the car. :/" He sent back a, "Hmmmm" and that was it. I sent him another text saying, "I know, I'm lame" and he read it, but never responded.
Fast forward 3 days later, silence. He never texted me, and I thought that was odd, so I sent him a text, saying, "Hey you've been quiet." He read the text(we talk on Kik so I know when someone reads the texts) but didn't respond to it, till about 2 hours later. When he did respond, he told me how he was, "feeling sick, since that night, and it's probably better we didn't meet up that night or else you would have gotten what I've got." I sent him a text a few hours later(I got busy) and said, "that sucks :( feel better soon!" he read the text, never replied.
Fast forward to the following Thursday, not a peep from him. I texted him, "how are you doing?" he never even read the message. I am suspecting that he saw the message, and was able to read it, without opening it since Kik gives you a preview of the message already.
So now it's Sunday, not a word, and I don't know what I did. Sure, not having a car puts me at a slight disadvantage, but it's not like I can't see him on the weekends.
Should I try and text him again, say something along the lines of, "why aren't we talking anymore?"
Or take a hint, and just forget about it?
I'm a bit sad about this. I had a good feeling about this guy, and now I feel like I wasted time and got hopes up for nothing. If he's no longer interested, it sucks, but I'll accept it. I don't like to be left hanging. It's rather rude, and I wish he would just be straight-forward about this.
Any thoughts or ideas to the situation?
Thank you for reading!
** | guy I met online, talked for weeks, we hit a small bump, now he won't even talk to me and I don't know what happend or what to do. |
[deleted] | relationship_advice | t5_2r0cn | t3_2zqiq1 | When I first started dating this girl she was very up front and told me that she had been married and got divorced and that she had cheated on her husband. Then after we had been dating for a month or so we were talking and I found out her last relationship before me had been a relationship with a married coworker a few months prior. So yeah, major red flags and I'm on the verge of calling off this brand new future trainwreck but I get talked off the ledge by one of my best girl-friends. I figured she had been up-front with me when she didn't have to (I would have never know had she not told me) and that she sounded like she was trying to be a different person. I figured she deserved a chance at that.
So fast forward to now: 6 months of exclusive dating and us madly in love. My girlfriend was recently out of the country and one night she texts me "I love you, you are so perfect!!! 😘😘😘😘😘😘 This was 4:00 a.m. her time. Then, around 10:00 a.m. her time she texts me and tells me that the night prior she got too drunk with coworkers and ended up leaving her group with a friend and the two of them bounced around the city's bars and clubs till 4:00 a.m. She's kind of freaking out as she's texting me, really concerned (and acting as if it is concern for her job) saying "I fucked up" and it wasn't smart/safe "but it doesn't matter because I didn't do anything wrong." Then she mentions she was concerned what her coworkers would think of her and that they had texted her after she disappeared with this guy wanting to know "are you ok?" Which is obviously what girlfriends do when their friends disappear with some guy while out, right? I of course am expecting the worst and ask her who this guy is. She says it's this beta (possibly even gay) guy she works with and I'm relieved. I tell her I'm glad she had fun and is safe and that I'm sure her coworkers understand and not to feel bad. Then about two days later some guy from the country she is in posts on Facebook about how pretty a picture is of her. I check him out and he had just friended her the night of the incident. I'm pretty suspicious at this point but don't have much to go on so I shrug it off - she's gorgeous and sweet and guys everywhere hit on her.
Fast forward two weeks and she is back home. It's a friday night and she tells me she is "hanging out with her best friend and her boyfriend." I think nothing of it. We text a little through the night then she goes silent for a few hours only to text me at 1:00 a.m "😘😘😘 I looove you soooo much, you are wonderful!!! 😘😘😘
She comes over to my place the next night and we hang out. She's tired and goes to bed before I do. While she's sleeping I browse facebook and see that the friend she was supposedly with the night before was two states away for St Paddys day. (she wasn't actually, Facebook fucked up the location of the parade in my city and once I checked I saw that everyone who went was shown as being in another state.) But this freaked me out and led me to do something I've never done before: I looked in her phone. And immediately felt like I was going to vomit. She was out that night with her best friend and her boyfriend alright but his best buddy was with them too! And there were texts between my girlfriend and him that were flirty culminating with him saying "I had a really great time hanging out tonight! We need to get together soon if you are ever in my city. I hope you sleep well tonight; I'm sure you would sleep much better in my arms. Just Sayin..." She replies with 😘 "maybe that can happen someday."
So that was a kick in the balls. So I'm going to "put the cheating bitch out" but I just had to know if what I suspected about the guy from her out of country trip was true. And of course it was. But it was evident from texts and facebook that while they were flirting and having fun like it was a date that nothing happened. The best part is that even though she was drunk that first night, she invited him out the next night while she was stone cold sober.
So I have enough ammo, I go wake her up and tell her that I first want to apologize - I did something horrible and went through her phone but I found out she was on a date the night before with some guy. I was really pissed and focused on the guy from the night prior and never thought to even mention the fucker out of the country - didn't need to because we were done anyway, I just needed to tell her to get out. But what happened changed my course.
She admitted the guy was with them on friday night and that they flirted but swore up and down she didn't even hold his hand. That she was drunk and being stupid and wished she hadn't flirted with the guy. She then told me "I have never cheated on you - ever! I wanted to before but I didn't. I was even just telling myself last night I can't screw this up with you." And I'll be goddamned if I didn't completely believe it. People can't lie to me - they just can't. Unless they have absolutely no remorse then I know. It's an INFJ thing if you know what that is.
She went home. We both slept on it and got together the next day to talk. She told me that she hasn't been in a relationship this serious since her divorce and that it freaked her out and caused her to act that way and that she is over it and wants it to work with me. I decided to give her another chance. I didn't bring up the guy from the other country - I figured she would never see him again and I just didn't feel like making her feel like shit over it. And things have been pretty damn nice between us since: we are closer than ever now. But there's one problem: I don't trust her anymore.
I told her I could still trust her. And I thought I could. But goddamit, how much evidence can a person overlook? At what point does something cross over from being a mistake into being a character flaw? Even the dumbest person can see that a scorpion is a scorpion and it's going to at some point cause both of you to drown. Because that's it's nature.
Believe it or not I'm serious about giving her another chance. Some very small part of me believes this is not who she is and I'm willing to give that little bit of hope some light to grow because I am so in love with this woman right now. But I'm going batshit trying to treat her normally, as if I trust her completely. When she's out with friends all I think about is who she's with, what she's doing. She's going out of town next weekend to a city where I know she has 2-3 ex boyfriends who all want to get back with her. And I have to pretend I'm Joe Cool like it doesn't bother me - fastest way to lose a woman is to act like you feel insecure or don't trust them around other guys. So how the fuck do I not do that now?
Anybody have any idea how I fucking do that? How I regain trust in this woman I love against my better judgement?
EDIT: Forgot the | girlfriend emotionally unfaithful with two different guys - we're working it out but I don't trust her now.
EDIT, EDIT: The first part of the topic was "People who cheat, why do you keep the person you cheated on around?" I guess I'm hoping someone who has cheated can tell me why, when we had a chance to end it all that she didn't just walk away? I'm hoping it's because she loves me and is determined not to hurt me again. But I'm not thinking straight right now. |
Subsets and Splits