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(์์
: The sugarhill gang ์ Rapper's delight) MC๊ฐ ๊ฐ์ฌ๋ฅผ ์ฆํฅ์ ์ผ๋ก ๋ง๋ค์ด ๋ด๊ธฐ๋ ํฉ๋๋ค. ์ฌ์ฆ ์ฐ์ฃผ์๋ค์ด ๋ฉ๋ก๋๋ฅผ ์ฆํฅ์ ์ผ๋ก ๋ง๋ค์ด ๋๋ฏ์ด์. | (Music: "Rapper's Delight" by The Sugarhill Gang) The MC would improvise lyrics in the same way that the jazz players would improvise melodies. |
๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ๋ ๋ค๋ฅธ ํํ์ ์์
์ด ํ์ํ๊ฒ ๋ฉ๋๋ค. | And another new form of music was born. |
๋ผ์ด๋ธ ๊ณต์ฐ์ด ์์ฒญ๋ ์ฑ๊ณต์ ๊ฑฐ๋์๋๊ฒ, ์ด์ฟ ์คํฑ ํ ๋ฉด์ผ๋ก ๋ณด์๋ฉด ์ง๊ตฌ์์ ๊ฐ์ฅ ์ ์ข์ ์ฌ์ด๋ฉ ์์คํ
์ ๊ฐ์ง๊ณ ์๋ ์ด๋ ๊ฒฝ๊ธฐ์ฅ์ด๋, ๋๊ตฌ ๊ฒฝ๊ธฐ์ฅ, ํํค ๊ฒฝ๊ธฐ์ฅ ๊ฐ์ ๊ณณ์์ ์ฐ์ฃผ ๋๊ธฐ์ ์ด๋ฅด๋ ์ต๋๋ค. | Live performance, when it was incredibly successful, ended up in what is probably, acoustically, the worst sounding venues on the planet: sports stadiums, basketball arenas and hockey arenas. |
๊ทธ๊ณณ์์ ์ฐ์ฃผ ํ๊ฒ๋ ์์
๊ฐ๋ค์ ๋๋ฆ ์ต์ ์ ๋ค ํ์ง์. | Musicians who ended up there did the best they could. |
๊ทธ๋ค์ '๊ฒฝ๊ธฐ์ฅ ๋ฝ' ์ด๋ผ๊ณ ๋ถ๋ฅด๋ ์์
๋ค์ ์ฐ๊ธฐ ์์ํ์ต๋๋ค. ์ค๊ฐ ์คํผ๋์ ๋ฐ๋ผ๋๊ฐ์๊ฒ ์ด์์ง์. | They wrote what is now called arena rock, which is medium-speed ballads. |
(์์
: U2 ์ I still haven't found what I'm Looking for) ๊ทธ๋ค์ ๊ทธ๋ค์๊ฒ ์ฃผ์ด์ง ๊ฒ์ ๋ง์ถ์ด์ ์๊ณกํ๋ฉด์ ์ต์ ์ ๋คํ์ต๋๋ค. | (Music: "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2) They did the best they could given that this is what they're writing for. |
ํ
ํฌ๋ ์ค๊ฐ ์ ๋์ด๊ณ , ์ํฅ์ ์์ฃผ ํฌ์ง์. | The tempos are medium. It sounds big. |
์ด๊ฑด ์์
์ ์ธ ์ํฉ ์ด๋ผ๊ธฐ ๋ณด๋ค๋ ์ฌํ ์ ์ํฉ ์ธ ๊ฒ ์ด์ง์. | It's more a social situation than a musical situation. |
๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์ด๋ค ๋ฉด์์๋, ์ด๋ฐ ์ฅ์๋ฅผ ์ํด์ ์ด ์์
๋ค์ ๊ทธ๊ณณ์์ ์ ๋๋ก ํจ๊ณผ๋ฅผ ๋ฐํจ ํฉ๋๋ค. | And in some ways, the music that they're writing for this place works perfectly. |
์๋ก์ด ์ฅ์๋ค๋ ์์ง์. | So there's more new venues. |
๊ทธ๊ฒ๋ค์ค ํ๋๋ ์๋์ฐจ ์
๋๋ค. | One of the new ones is the automobile. |
์ ๋ ๋ผ๋์ค๊ฐ ์๋ ์ฐจ์ ํจ๊ผ ์๋๋๋ฐ์, | I grew up with a radio in a car. |
ํ์ง๋ง ์ด๊ฒ์๋ ๋ง์ ๋ฐ์ ์ด ์์์ต๋๋ค. | But now that's evolved into something else. |
์ด์ ๋ ์ฐจ๊ฐ ํ๋์ ์ฅ์ ์ญํ์ ํฉ๋๋ค. | The car is a whole venue. |
(์์
: Lil' Jon ์ The East Side Boyz ์ Who U Wit) ์ด๋ฐ ์์
, ์ด๋ ๊ฒ ๋งํ ์ ์์๊ฒ ๊ฐ์๋ฐ์, ์๋์ฐจ ์ฌ์ด๋ ์์คํ
์ ์ํด ๋ง๋ค์ด ์ง ์์
์ ๊ทธ ์์์ ๋ ์๋ฒฝํ ํจ๊ณผ๋ฅผ ๋
๋๋ค. | (Music: "Who U Wit" by Lil' Jon & the East Side Boyz) The music that, I would say, is written for automobile sound systems works perfectly on it. |
์ง์์ ๋ฃ๊ณ ์ถ์ ์์
์ด ๋ ์ง๋ ์์์๋ ์์ง๋ง, ์ฐจ์์๋ ์์ฃผ ์ ์ ํ์ง์. ์์ฒญ๋ ๋น๋์ ์คํํธ๋ผ์ด ์๊ตฌ์, ์์๋ค ์ํผ, ํฐ ๋ฒ ์ด์ค ์ํฅ๊ณผ ์ธ๋ จ๋จ ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ๊ฐ์ด๋ฐ ๊ปด์๋ ๋ชฉ์๋ฆฌ ๊น์ง. | It might not be what you want to listen to at home, but it works great in the car -- has a huge frequency spectrum, you know, big bass and high-end and the voice kind of stuck in the middle. |
์๋์ฐจ ์์
์, ์น๊ตฌ๋ค๊ณผ ํจ๊ป ๋ค์์๋ ์์ต๋๋ค. | Automobile music, you can share with your friends. |
๋ค๋ฅธ ์๋ก์ด ์ฅ์๋ ์์ต๋๋ค. ๊ฐ์ธ์ฉ MP3 ํ๋ ์ด์ด ์
๋๋ค. | There's one other kind of new venue, the private MP3 player. |
์๋ง, ํฌ๋ฆฌ์ค์ฑค ์์
์ ์ํด์ ์ผ์ง๋ ๋ชจ๋ฅด๊ฒ ๋๋ฐ์, | Presumably, this is just for Christian music. |
(์์) ์ด๋ค ๋ฉด์์๋ ์ด ๊ฑด ์นด๋ค๊ธฐ ํ๊ณผ๋ ๊ฐ์ต๋๋ค. ๋ฃ๋ ์ฌ๋์ ์์ฃผ ์กฐ์ฉํด์ ธ์ผ ํ๋๋ฐ, ์๋๋ฉด ์ด์ ๋ ์์ฃผ ์์ ์ธ์ธํ ๋๋ฐ์ผ ๊น์ง ๋ค์์ ์๊ธฐ ๋๋ฌธ ์
๋๋ค. | (Laughter) And in some ways it's like Carnegie Hall, or when the audience had to hush up, because you can now hear every single detail. |
์ด๋ป๊ฒ ๋ณด๋ฉด, ์ํ๋ฆฌ์นด์๋ถ ์์
๊ณผ๋ ๊ฐ์ต๋๋ค. ์๋ํ๋ฉด MP3 ํ๋ ์ด์ด๊ฐ ๋๋ฌด ์กฐ์ฉํด ์ง๋ฉด ์๋์ ์กฐ์ ํ๊ฒ ๋๋๋ฐ, ์กฐ๊ธ ์์ผ๋ฉด ์์ฒญ๋๊ฒ ํฐ ์๋ฆฌ์ ๊ท๊ฐ ํฐ์ง๊ฒ ๊ฐ๊ธฐ๋ ํ๊ธฐ ๋๋ฌธ์ด์ง์. | In other ways, it's more like the West African music because if the music in an MP3 player gets too quiet, you turn it up, and the next minute, your ears are blasted out by a louder passage. |
๊ทธ๋์ ๊ทธ๋ ๊ฒ ํจ๊ณผ๊ฐ ์์ง๋ ์์ต๋๋ค. | So that doesn't really work. |
์ ์๊ฐ์๋, ํนํ ์์ฆ ์ฐ์ธ ํ ์์
๋ค์ ์ด๋ค ๋ฉด์์ ๋ณด๋ฉด ์ด๋ฐ ํ๋ ์ด์ด๋ค์ ์ํด ์ฐ์ฌ์ง๋๊ฒ ๊ฐ์ต๋๋ค. ์ด๋ฐ ์์ธํ ๋ํ
์ผ ๊น์ง ๋ค์์ ์๋ ๊ฐ์ธ์ ์ธ ๊ฒฝํ์ ์ํด์์. ํ์ง๋ง ๋ค์ด๋ด๋ฏน ์์ฒด๋ ๋ฐ๋์ง ์์ต๋๋ค. | I think pop music, mainly, it's written today, to some extent, is written for these kind of players, for this kind of personal experience where you can hear extreme detail, but the dynamic doesn't change that much. |
๊ทธ๋์ ์ ๋ ์ค์ค๋ก์๊ฒ ์ด๋ ๊ฒ ์ง๋ฌธ ํฉ๋๋ค. ๊ทธ๋, ์ด๊ฒ ์ฐฝ์กฐ์ ๋ชจ๋ธ์ธ๊ฐ, ์ด๋ ๊ฒ ์ ์ ํด ๋๊ฐ๋๊ฒ์ด? | So I asked myself: Okay, is this a model for creation, this adaptation that we do? |
๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์ด๋ฐ ๊ฒ์ด ๋ค๋ฅธ ๊ณณ์์๋ ์ผ์ด๋๋ ๊ฒ์ธ๊ฐ? ํ๊ณ ์. | And does it happen anywhere else? |
๊ธ์์, David Attenborough ์ ๋ช๋ช ์ฌ๋๋ค์ ์ํ๋ฉด์, ์๋ค๋ ๊ทธ๋ฐ๋ค๊ณ ํฉ๋๋ค. ์ฐ๊ฑฐ์ง ์ฒ- ์บ๋
ธํผ์ ์๋ ์๋ค์ ์ฆ, ์๋ค์ด ๋ฌด์ฑํ ๊ณณ์์๋ ๊ทธ๋ค์ ์ง์์ ๋์ ์๊ณผ ์งง๊ณ ๋ฐ๋ณต์ ์ธ ๊ฒฝํฅ์ด ์๋ค๊ณ ํฉ๋๋ค. | Well, according to David Attenborough and some other people, birds do it too -- that the birds in the canopy, where the foliage is dense, their calls tend to be high-pitched, short and repetitive. |
๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ๋ฐ๋ฅ์ ์๋ ์๋ค์ ๋ฎ์ ์์ผ๋ก ์ง์ ๊ท๋ค๊ณ ํฉ๋๋ค. ์ด๋ ๊ฒ ํจ์ผ๋ก์ ์๋ฆฌ๊ฐ ๋ฐ๋ฅ์์ ์น๊ณ ์ธ๋ฆผ์ ์ํด ๋ฐฉํด ๋์ง ์๊ฒ ํ๊ธฐ ์ํด์์ฃ . | And the birds on the floor tend to have lower pitched calls, so that they don't get distorted when they bounce off the forest floor. |
Savannah sparrow ๊ฐ์ ์๋ค์ ์์ ๊ฑฐ๋ฆฌ๋ ์ธ๋ฆผ์ (Savannah Sparrow ๊ฐ ์ฐ๋ ์๋ฆฌ๊ฐ ๋ด๊ธด ํด๋ฆฝ) ์๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋
๋๋ค. | And birds like this Savannah sparrow, they tend to have a buzzing (Sound clip: Savannah sparrow song) type call. |
๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์ด๊ฒ์ ๋ฐํ์ง๊ธฐ๋ก๋ ๊ฐ์ฅ ์๋์ง๋ฅผ ์ ์ฝํ๋ ํจ๊ณผ์ ์ธ savannahs ์์์ ์๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ์ ๋ฌํ ์ ์๋ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ ์ด๋ผ๊ณ ํ๋ค์. | And it turns out that a sound like this is the most energy efficient and practical way to transmit their call across the fields and savannahs. |
๋ค๋ฅธ ์๋ค, ์ด๋ฐ tananger ๋ค์ ๊ทธ๋ค์ ๊ฐ์ ์ข
์กฑ๋ผ๋ฆฌ ์ ์ํด ์์ต๋๋ค. | Other birds, like this tanager, have adapted within the same species. |
๋ฏธ๊ตญ์ ๋๋ถ ์ง๋ฐฉ- ์ฒ๋ค์ด ์กฐ๊ธ ๋ ๋ฌด์ฑํ ์ง๋ฐฉ์ ์๋ tananger ์๋ค์ ํ๊ฐ์ง ์๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋ด๊ณ ์, ์๋ถ ์ง๋ฐฉ์ ์๋ tananger ๋ค์ (Scarlet tananger ์ ์ง์ ๊ท ์๋ฆฌ) ๋ ์กฐ๊ธ ๋ค๋ฅธ ํํ์ ์๋ฆฌ๋ฅผ ๋
๋๋ค. | The tananger on the East Coast of the United States, where the forests are a little denser, has one kind of call, and the tananger on the other side, on the west (Sound clip: Scarlet tanager song) has a different kind of call. |
(Scarlet tananger ์ ์ง์ ๊ท ์๋ฆฌ) ๊ทธ๋์, ์๋ค๋ ๊ทธ๋ฐ๋ค ์ด๊ฑฐ์ง์. | (Sound clip: Scarlet tanager song) So birds do it too. |
๊ทธ๋์ ์ด๋ฐ ์๊ฐ์ด ๋ค์์ต๋๋ค. ์, ์ด๊ฒ ์ฐฝ์กฐ์ ๋ชจ๋ธ์ด๊ณ ์ฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ ์์
์ ๋ง๋๋, ์ ์ด๋ ๊ทธ๋ฐ ๊ฒ์ ์ด๋ค ์ํฉ์ ๋ง๊ฒ ๋ง๋๋ ์ฌ๋๋ค์ด๋ฉด, ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์ฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ ๊ฐค๋ฌ๋ฆฌ์ ๋ฒฝ์ด๋ ๋ฐ๋ฌผ๊ด์ ๋ฒฝ ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ํ์ฌ ์กด์ฌํ๋ ์์คํ
์ ๋ง๋ ์ํํธ ์จ์ด๋ฅผ ๊ฐ๋ฐํ๋ฉด, ๊ทธ๊ฒ ๊ณผ์ฐ ์ ํ๋ ๋ฐฉ์์ผ๊น? | And I thought: Well, if this is a model for creation, if we make music, primarily the form at least, to fit these contexts, and if we make art to fit gallery walls or museum walls, and if we write software to fit existing operating systems, is that how it works? |
๋ค. ์ ๋ ์ด๊ฒ ์ง๋ณด์ ์ด๋ผ๊ณ ์๊ฐํฉ๋๋ค. | Yeah. I think it's evolutionary. |
์ ์ํด ๋๊ฐ๋ ๊ฒ ์ด์ฃ . | It's adaptive. |
ํ์ง๋ง ๊ธฐ์จ, ์ด์ ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์ฆ๊ฑฐ์์ ๊ทธ๋๋ก ์์ต๋๋ค. | But the pleasure and the passion and the joy is still there. |
์ด๊ฒ์ด ๋ณดํต์ ๋ก๋งจํฑํจ์ ์์ ๊ณผ๋ ์๋ฐ๋ ์์ ์ด ๋๋ ๊ฒ ์ด์ง์. | This is a reverse view of things from the kind of traditional Romantic view. |
๋ก๋งจํฑํ ์์ ์ ๋จผ์ ์ด์ ์ด ์์ด์ผ ํ๊ณ , ๊ทธ ๋ค์์ ๊ฐ์ ์ด ํ๋ฌ ๋์ณ์, ๊ทธ๋ฌ๊ณ ๊ทธ ๋ค์์ ์ด์จ๋ ๋ญ๊ฐ๋ก ๋ง๋ค์ด ์ง๋ค. ์ด๊ฒ์
๋๋ค. | The Romantic view is that first comes the passion and then the outpouring of emotion, and then somehow it gets shaped into something. |
์ ๊ฐ ๋งํ๊ณ ์ ํ๋๊ฒ์, ์ด์ ์ ๊ทธ๋๋ก ์์ต๋๋ค. ํ์ง๋ง ๊ทธ ์ด์ ์ด ๋ญ๊ฐ๋ก ํ๋ฌ ๊ฐ๊ณ ๋ฃ์ด์ง๋ ๋ณธ๋ฅ์ ์ด๊ณ ์ง๊ด์ ์ธ ํต๋ก๋ ๋จผ์ ๋ง๋ค์ด์ ธ์ผ ํ๋ค๋ ๊ฒ ์
๋๋ค. | And I'm saying, well, the passion's still there, but the vessel that it's going to be injected into and poured into, that is instinctively and intuitively created first. |
์ฐ๋ฆฌ๋ ์ด๋ฏธ ์ด๋๋ก ์ด์ ์ด ํ๋ฌ๊ฐ๋์ง ์๊ณ ์์ต๋๋ค. | We already know where that passion is going. |
ํ์ง๋ง ์ด๋ฐ๊ฒ์ ๋ํ ์๋ฐ๋ ์๊ฐ๋ค์ ํฅ๋ฏธ๋กญ์ง์. | But this conflict of views is kind of interesting. |
์๊ฐ Thomas Frank ๋ ๋งํ์ต๋๋ค. ์ด๊ฒ์ ์ ์ข
์ข
์ฌ๋๋ค์ด ์๊ธฐ์ ์ต ๊ด์ฌ๊ณผ๋ ์๋ฐ๋ ๊ฒ์ ํฌํ๋ฅผ ํ๋๊ฐ์ ๋ํ ์ค๋ช
์ด ๋๊ฒ ๋๋ฐ์, ๊ทธ๋ฐ ํฌํ์๋ค, ์ฆ ๋ง์ ์ฐ๋ฆฌ ๊ฐ์ ์ฌ๋๋ค์ ์ฆํฅ์ ์ธ๊ฒ์ ๋ค์๋ | The writer, Thomas Frank, says that this might be a kind of explanation why some voters vote against their best interests, that voters, like a lot of us, that it's more authentic. |
๊ทธ๊ฒ์ ํํ๋ฅผ ๋์ง ๊ฒ ์ด๋ผ๋ ๊ฒ ์
๋๋ค. | And they'll vote for that. |
๊ทธ ๋ง์ธ ์ฆ์จ, ์ด๋ค ์ฌ๋์ด ๊ทธ ์์ํจ์ ๋ง๋ค์ด ๋ด๊ณ , ์ด์ ์ ํ๋ฐฉํ๋ค๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋ค์ด ์ฌ์ค ๋ฝํ์ ์๋ ๊ธฐํ๋ฅผ ๋ ๊ฐ๊ฒ ๋๋ค๋ ๊ฒ ์ด์ง์. ์ด๊ฒ์ ์์ฃผ ์ํํ ์ผ ์
๋๋ค. | So that, if somebody can fake sincerity, if they can fake passion, they stand a better chance of being selected in that way, which seems a little dangerous. |
์ ๋ง์ ๋๊ฐ์ง, ์ด์ , ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์ฆ๊ฑฐ์๋ค์ด ์๋ก ๋
์ ์ ์ด์ง ์๋ค๊ณ ํ๋๊ฒ์ด ์๋๋๋ค. | I'm saying the two, the passion, the joy, are not mutually exclusive. |
์๋ง ์ธ๊ณ๊ฐ ์ง๊ธ ํ์ํ๊ฒ์ ์ฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ ์๋ค๊ณผ ๊ฐ๋ค๋ ๊ฒ์ ๊นจ๋ณ์์ผ ํ๋ค๋๊ฒ ์ผ๊ฒ ์
๋๋ค. | Maybe what the world needs now is for us to realize that we are like the birds. |
์ฐ๋ฆฌ๋ ์ ์ํ๊ณ , | We adapt. |
์ฐ๋ฆฌ๋ ๋
ธ๋ํฉ๋๋ค. | We sing. |
๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์๋ค๊ณผ ๊ฐ์ด, ๊ทธ๊ฒ๋ค์ด ์ฃผ๋ ์ฆ๊ฑฐ์์ด ์์ง ์์ต๋๋ค. ์ฐ๋ฆฌ์๊ฒ ์ฃผ์ด์ง ์ํฉ์ ์ฐ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ ๋ง์ถ์ด ๋ณํ ํด์ผ ํ ์ง๋ผ๋ ๋ง์ด์ฃ . | And like the birds, the joy is still there, even though we have changed what we do to fit the context. |
๊ฐ์ฌํฉ๋๋ค. | Thank you very much. |
(๋ฐ์) ์ด์์ค๋ฉด์ ์ค๋ซ๋์ ์ ๋ ์ ๊ฐ ๋ ๊ฐ์ง์ ์๋ก ๋ค๋ฅธ ์ถ์ ์ด๊ณ ์๋ค๊ณ ๋๊ปด์์ต๋๋ค. | (Applause) For a long time in my life, I felt like I'd been living two different lives. |
๋ชจ๋๊ฐ ๋ณด๋ ์ถ๊ณผ, ์ ํผ์๋ง์ด ๋ณผ ์ ์๋ ์ถ์์. | There's the life that everyone sees, and then there's the life that only I see. |
๋ชจ๋๊ฐ ๋ณผ ์ ์๋ ์ถ ์์์ ์ ๋ ์น๊ตฌ์ด์, ์๋ค์ด๊ณ , ํ์ด๋ฉฐ, ๋จ๋
์ฐ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ํ๋ ์ฝ๋ฏธ๋์ธ์ด๊ณ 10๋์
๋๋ค. | And in the life that everyone sees, who I am is a friend, a son, a brother, a stand-up comedian and a teenager. |
๊ทธ๊ฒ์ด ๋ชจ๋๊ฐ ๋ณด๋ ์ ์ ๋ชจ์ต์
๋๋ค. | That's the life everyone sees. |
๋ง์ฝ ์ฌ๋ฌ๋ถ์ด ์ ์น๊ตฌ๋ค๊ณผ ๊ฐ์กฑ๋ค์๊ฒ ์ ์ ๋ํด ์ค๋ช
ํด ๋ฌ๋ผ๊ณ ํ์๋ฉด ๊ทธ๋ค์ ๊ทธ๋ ๊ฒ ์ค๋ช
ํด ๋๋ฆด๊ฒ๋๋ค. | If you were to ask my friends and family to describe me, that's what they would tell you. |
๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ๊ทธ ๋ชจ์ต์ ์ ์ ๋ง์ ๋ถ๋ถ์ ์ํฉ๋๋ค. ๊ทธ๊ฒ ์ ์ ๋ชจ์ต์
๋๋ค. | And that's a huge part of me. That is who I am. |
์ฌ๋ฌ๋ถ์ด ์ ๊ฒ ์ค์ค๋ก์ ๋ํด ์ค๋ช
ํด ๋ณด๋ผ ํ๋ค๋ฉด, ์ ๋ํ ์๋ง๋ ๊ฐ์ ๋ง์ ํ ๊ฑฐ์์. | And if you were to ask me to describe myself, I'd probably say some of those same things. |
๊ฑฐ์ง๋ง์ ํ๋ ๊ฑด ์๋ ํ
์ง๋ง ๊ทธ๋ ๋ค๊ณ ์ง์ค ๊ทธ๋๋ก๋ฅผ ๋งํ ๊ฒ๋ ์๋ ๊ฒ๋๋ค. ์๋ํ๋ฉด ์ฌ์ค์ด, ๊ทธ ๋ชจ์ต์ด, ๋ชจ๋๊ฐ ๋ณด๋ ์ ์ ๋ชจ์ต์ด๋๊น์. | And I wouldn't be lying, but I wouldn't totally be telling you the truth, either, because the truth is, that's just the life everyone else sees. |
์ ํผ์๋ง์ด ๋ณผ ์ ์๋ ์ ์์ ์, ์ง์ ํ ์ ๋ ๊ทน๋์ ์ฐ์ธ์ฆ์ ์๋ฌ๋ฆฌ๋ ์ฌ๋์
๋๋ค. | In the life that only I see, who I am, who I really am, is someone who struggles intensely with depression. |
์ง๋ 6๋
๊ฐ์ ๊ทธ๋ ์๊ณ , ์ง๊ธ๋ ์ฌ์ ํ ๊ทธ๋ ์ต๋๋ค. | I have for the last six years of my life, and I continue to every day. |
์ฌ๊ธฐ์ ์ฐ์ธ์ฆ์ ์์๋ณธ ์ ์ด ์๊ฑฐ๋, ํน์ ๋ฌด์จ ๋ป์ธ์ง ๋ชจ๋ฅด๋ ์ฌ๋์๊ฒ๋ ์๋ง ๊น์ง ๋๋ ๋งํ ์ด์ผ๊ธฐ์ผ ๊ฒ๋๋ค. ์ฐ์ธ์ฆ์ด๋ ๊ทธ์ ์ธ์์ด ์ ์ ํ๋ฆด ๋ ์ฌํผํ๋ ๊ฒ์ด๋ผ๋ ์๋ชป๋ ์ธ์์ด ์ฆ๋นํ๋๊น์. ์ฌ์ ์น๊ตฌ์ ํค์ด์ง๊ฑฐ๋, ์ฌ๋ํ๋ ์ฌ๋์ ์๊ฑฐ๋, ์ํ๋ ์ง์ฅ์ ์ป์ง ๋ชป ํ์ ๋์ฒ๋ผ์. | Now, for someone who has never experienced depression or doesn't really know what that means, that might surprise them to hear, because there's this pretty popular misconception that depression is just being sad when something in your life goes wrong, when you break up with your girlfriend, when you lose a loved one, when you don't get the job you wanted. |
ํ์ง๋ง ๊ทธ๊ฒ์ ์ฌํ์
๋๋ค. ์์ฐ์ค๋ฌ์ด ํ์์ด์ฃ . | But that's sadness. That's a natural thing. |
๊ทธ๊ฒ์ ์์ฐ์ ์ธ ์ธ๊ฐ์ ๊ฐ์ฑ์
๋๋ค. | That's a natural human emotion. |
์ง์ง ์ฐ์ธ์ฆ์ด๋ ์ธ์์ด ์ ์ ํ๋ฆด ๋ ์ฌํผํ๋ ๊ฒ์ด ์๋๋๋ค. | Real depression isn't being sad when something in your life goes wrong. |
์ง์ง ์ฐ์ธ์ฆ์ ์ธ์์ ๋ชจ๋ ๊ฒ์ด ์ ๋์ ๊ฐ ๋์๋ ์ฌํผํ๋ ๊ฒ์ด์ฃ . | Real depression is being sad when everything in your life is going right. |
๊ทธ๊ฒ์ด ์ง์ ํ ์ฐ์ธ์ฆ์ด๊ณ ์ ๊ฐ ์๊ณ ์๋ ๊ฒ์
๋๋ค. | That's real depression, and that's what I suffer from. |
์ ์ ์ผ๋ก ์์งํด์ง์๋ฉด, ์ด ์๋ฆฌ์์ ์ด๋ ๊ฒ ์์ ๋งํ๋ ๊ฒ์ด ์ฐธ ๊ณคํน์ค๋ฌ์์. | And to be totally honest, that's hard for me to stand up here and say. |
๊ทธ๊ฒ์ ๋ํด ๋ง์ ๊บผ๋ด๊ธฐ๊ฐ ํ๋ค๊ฑฐ๋ ์. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์๋ง ๋๊ตฌ๋ ๋งํ๊ธฐ๊ฐ ์ด๋ ค์ธ ๊ฒ๋๋ค. ๊ทธ๋์ ์๋ฌด๋ ๊ทธ๊ฒ์ ๋ํด ์ด์ผ๊ธฐํ์ง ์์ต๋๋ค. | It's hard for me to talk about, and it seems to be hard for everyone to talk about, so much so that no one's talking about it. |
๋ชจ๋๊ฐ ๋งํ๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ๊บผ๋ คํฉ๋๋ค. ํ์ง๋ง ์ฐ๋ฆฌ๋ ๋งํด์ผ ํฉ๋๋ค. ์๋ํ๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ฒ์ ์์ฒญ๋ ๋ฌธ์ ์ด๊ธฐ ๋๋ฌธ์
๋๋ค. | And no one's talking about depression, but we need to be, because right now it's a massive problem. |
์์ฒญ๋ ๋ฌธ์ ์์. | It's a massive problem. |
ํ์ง๋ง ์ฐ๋ฆฌ๋ ์์
๋ฏธ๋์ด์์๋ ๊ทธ๋ฐ ๊ฑธ ๋ณด์ง ๋ชป ํฉ๋๋ค, ๋ง์ฃ ? | But we don't see it on social media, right? |
ํ์ด์ค๋ถ์์๋ ๋ณด์ง ๋ชป ํด์. ํธ์ํฐ์์๋ ๋ง์ฐฌ๊ฐ์ง๊ณ ์. | We don't see it on Facebook. We don't see it on Twitter. |
ํ๋ณตํ ๊ฒ์ด ์๋๊ธฐ ๋๋ฌธ์ ๋ด์ค์์๋ ๋ณด์ง ๋ชป ํฉ๋๋ค. ์ฌ๋ฐ์ง๋, ๊ฐ๋ณ์ง๋ ์์ผ๋๊น์. | We don't see it on the news, because it's not happy, it's not fun, it's not light. |
๊ทธ๋์ ์ฐ๋ฆฌ๋ ๋ณด๊ธฐ ๋ชป ํ๊ธฐ ๋๋ฌธ์, ์ฐ์ธ์ฆ์ ์ฌ๊ฐ์ฑ ๋ํ ๊ฐ๊ณผํ๊ฒ ๋ฉ๋๋ค. | And so because we don't see it, we don't see the severity of it. |
๊ทธ๋ฌ๋ ์ฐ์ธ์ฆ์ ์ ๋์ ์ฌ๊ฐ์ฑ์ ๋ฐ๋ก ์ด๋ ์ต๋๋ค. ๋งค 30์ด ๋ง๋ค, ๋งค 30์ด ๋ง๋ค ์ด๋๊ฐ์์ , ์ธ๊ณ ์ด๋๊ฐ์ ์๋ ๋๊ตฐ๊ฐ๋ ์์ ์ ๋ชฉ์จ์ ๋์ต๋๋ค. ์ฐ์ธ์ฆ ๋๋ฌธ์ด์ฃ . ๋ ๋ธ๋ก ๋จ์ด์ง ๊ณณ์ผ ์๋ ์๊ณ , ๋ ๋๋ผ ๋จ์ด์ง ๊ณณ์ผ ์๋, ๋ ๋๋ฅ ๋จ์ด์ง ๊ณณ์์ ์ผ์ด๋๋ ์ผ์ผ ์๋ ์์ง๋ง, ์ด์จ๋ ๋ฒ์ด์ง๊ณ ์์ต๋๋ค. ๊ทธ๊ฒ๋ ๋งค์ผ ๋ฒ์ด์ง๊ณ ์์ด์. | But the severity of it and the seriousness of it is this: every 30 seconds, every 30 seconds, somewhere, someone in the world takes their own life because of depression, and it might be two blocks away, it might be two countries away, it might be two continents away, but it's happening, and it's happening every single day. |
๊ทธ๊ฒ์ ๋ณด๊ณ ๋ ์ฌํ์ ๊ตฌ์ฑ์์ผ๋ก์จ ์ฐ๋ฆฌ๋ "๊ทธ๋์ ์ด์ฉ๋ผ๊ณ ์?" ๋ผ๊ณ ๋งํ๋ ๊ฒฝํฅ์ด ์์ต๋๋ค. | And we have a tendency, as a society, to look at that and go, "So what?" |
์ฐ๋ฆฌ๋ ๋ณด๊ณ ๋, "๊ทธ๊ฑด ๋น์ ์ ๋ฌธ์ ์์. | So what? We look at that, and we go, "That's your problem. |
๊ทธ๊ฑด ๊ทธ๋ค์ ๋ฌธ์ ๋ผ๊ณ ์."๋ผ๊ณ ํ์ฃ . | That's their problem." |
์ฌํ๋ค๊ณ , ์๋๋ค๊ณ ๋ ๋งํ์ง๋ง ๊ทธ๋ผ์๋ ์ฐ๋ฆฌ๋ "๊ทธ๋์ ์ด์ฉ๋ผ๊ณ ์?"๋ผ๋ ๋ง์ ๋ง๋ถ์ฌ์. | We say we're sad and we say we're sorry, but we also say, "So what?" |
2๋
์ ๊น์ง๋ง ํด๋ ๊ทธ๊ฑด ์ ๋ฌธ์ ์์ต๋๋ค. ์ ๋ ๊ทธ ์ ์๋ ์ ์ฒ ๋ฒ์ ์์์ ์ ์นจ๋์ ์ธ์ ๋ฆฌ์ ์์ ์์ด์ ์๊ฐํ์ต๋๋ค. | Well, two years ago it was my problem, because I sat on the edge of my bed where I'd sat a million times before and I was suicidal. |
์ ๋ ์์ด์ถฉ๋์์์ง๋ง, ์ ์ถ์ ๊ฒ๋ฉด๋ง ๋ดค์ ์ฌ๋ฌ๋ถ์๊ฒ ์๋ง ์ ๋ ์์ด ์ถฉ๋์ ๋๋ ์์ด๋ก๋ ๋ณด์ด์ง ์์์ ๊ฑฐ์์. | I was suicidal, and if you were to look at my life on the surface, you wouldn't see a kid who was suicidal. |
์คํ๋ ค ์ ๋ฅผ ๋๊ตฌํ์ ์ฃผ์ฅ์ด๋, ์ฐ๊ทน๋ฐ์ ์ฐ๊ฐ ์ต์ฐ์ ํ์, ์ฌํด ์ต๊ณ ์์ด ์ฐ์ ํ์, ๊ณ์ํด์ ์ฐ๋ฑ์ ๋ช
๋จ์ ์ด๋ฆ์ด ์ค๋ฅด๊ณ , ๋ชจ๋ ํํฐ์ ์ค๊ณง ์ฐธ์ํ๋ ๊ทธ๋ฐ ์์ด๋ก๋ง ๋ณด์์ ๊ฒ๋๋ค. | You'd see a kid who was the captain of his basketball team, the drama and theater student of the year, the English student of the year, someone who was consistently on the honor roll and consistently at every party. |
๊ทธ๋์ ์ ๋ ์ฐ์ธํ์ง ์์ ๊ฒ์ด๋ผ ๋งํ๊ฒ ์ฃ . ์ ๊ฐ ์์ด ์ถฉ๋์๊ฐ ์๋๋ผ๊ณ ๋งํ๊ฒ ์ง๋ง ์ฌ๋ฌ๋ถ์ ํ๋ ธ์ ๊ฒ๋๋ค. | So you would say I wasn't depressed, you would say I wasn't suicidal, but you would be wrong. |
ํ๋ ธ์ ๊ฑฐ์์. ๊ทธ๋์ ์ ๋ ๊ทธ๋ ์ ๋
ํ๋ก ์์ ์์ฝ์ด ๋ ์ฝ๋ณ์ ์์์ ์ข
์ด์ ํ์ ์์ ์ฅ๊ณ ์ค์ค๋ก์ ๋ชฉ์จ์ ๋์ ์๊ฐ์ ํ์ต๋๋ค. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ ํ๊ธฐ์ ์ด ์ ๋๋ก ๊ฐ๊น์ ์ด์. | You would be wrong. So I sat there that night beside a bottle of pills with a pen and paper in my hand and I thought about taking my own life and I came this close to doing it. |
์ด ์ ๋๋ก์. | I came this close to doing it. |
ํ์ง๋ง ์ ๋ ๊ทธ๋ฌ์ง ์์๊ณ , ๊ทธ๋ฐ ์ ๋ ํ์ด์์ ์ํฉ๋๋ค. ๋๊ฐ์ ํ ์ชฝ ๋ฐ์ ๋ด๋ฐ๊ณ ์๋๋ฅผ ๋ด๋ ค๋ค ๋ดค์ง๋ง ์ ํํ์ง๋ ์์ ์ฌ๋๋ค ๊ฐ์ ์ด์๋จ์ ํ์ด์์ฃ . | And I didn't, so that makes me one of the lucky ones, one of the people who gets to step out on the ledge and look down but not jump, one of the lucky ones who survives. |
์ ๋ ์ด์๋จ์์ด์. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์ด์ ์ ์ด์ผ๊ธฐ๋ง ๋จ์ ๋ฒ๋ ธ๋ค์. ์ ์ด์ผ๊ธฐ๋ ์ด๋ฌํฉ๋๋ค. ๊ฐ๋จํ ๋ช ๋จ์ด๋ก ๋งํ์๋ฉด, ์ ๋ ์ฐ์ธ์ฆ์ ์๊ณ ์์ต๋๋ค. | Well, I survived, and that just leaves me with my story, and my story is this: In four simple words, I suffer from depression. |
์ ๋ ์ฐ์ธ์ฆ์ ์๊ณ ์์ด์. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์๋ง๋ ์์ฃผ ์ค๋ซ๋์ ์ ๋ ์์ ํ ๋ค๋ฅธ ๋ ๊ฐ์ ์ถ์ ์ด๊ณ ์์์ต๋๋ค. ๊ทธ ์ค ํ๋๋ ์ธ์ ๋ ๋ค๋ฅธ ์ชฝ์ ๋๋ ค์ํ๊ณ ์๋ ๊ทธ๋ฐ ์ถ์์. | I suffer from depression, and for a long time, I think, I was living two totally different lives, where one person was always afraid of the other. |
์ ๋ ์ฌ๋๋ค์ด ์ง์ ํ ์ ์์ ์ ์๊ฒ ๋ ๊น๋ด ๋๋ ค์ ํ์ต๋๋ค. ์ ๊ฐ ์๋ฒฝํ์ง๋, ๋ชจ๋๊ฐ ์๊ฐํ๋ ๊ทธ๋ฐ ์ธ๊ธฐ ์๋ ๊ณ ๋ฑํ์์ด ์๋๋ผ๋ ์ฌ์ค์ ์๊ฒ ๋ ๊น๋ด ๋๋ ค์ ์ด์. ๋ฏธ์ ๋ค์์ ์ธ์ ๋ ๋ชธ๋ถ๋ฆผ์น๊ณ ์๊ณ , ๋ฐ์ ๋ชจ์ต ๋ค์๋ ๋ํ ์ด๋ ์ด ์๋ค๋ ๊ฒ์, ํ๋์ ์ธ ์ฑ๊ฒฉ ๋ค์ ๊ทธ ๋ณด๋ค ๋ ํฐ ์ํ์ด ์จ์ด ์๋ค๋ ๊ฒ์ ๋ง์ด์ฃ . | I was afraid that people would see me for who I really was, that I wasn't the perfect, popular kid in high school everyone thought I was, that beneath my smile, there was struggle, and beneath my light, there was dark, and beneath my big personality just hid even bigger pain. |
์ด๋ค ์ฌ๋๋ค์ ์ฌ์์ ๋ค์ด ์์ ์ ๋ฐ์์ฃผ์ง ์์๊น๋ด ๋๋ ค์ํ ๊ฑฐ์์. | See, some people might fear girls not liking them back. |
์ด๋ค ์ฌ๋๋ค์ ์์ด๋ฅผ ๋ฌด์์ํ๊ณ , ์ด๋ค ์ฌ๋๋ค์ ์ฃฝ์์ ๋๋ ค์ํฉ๋๋ค. | Some people might fear sharks. Some people might fear death. |
ํ์ง๋ง ์ ๋ ์ ์ธ์์ ๋ง์ ๋ถ๋ถ์, ์ ์ค์ค๋ก๋ฅผ ๋๋ ค์ํ์ต๋๋ค. | But for me, for a large part of my life, I feared myself. |
์ ์ง์ค์ด ๋๋ ค์ ๊ณ , ์ ์ง์ค์ฑ๊ณผ ์ ์ฐ์ฝํจ์ ๋๋ ค์ํ์ต๋๋ค. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ๊ทธ ๋๋ ค์์ ์ ๋ฅผ ๋ฒผ๋ ๋์ผ๋ก ๋ชฐ์ ์ธ์ฐ๋ ๋ฏ ํ์ด์. ํ์ถํ ์ ์๋ ๋ฐฉ๋ฒ์ด ์ค์ง ํ๋ ๋ฟ์ธ ๊ณณ์ ๋ชฐ๋ ค ์๋ ๋ฏ ํ์ต๋๋ค. ๊ทธ๋ฐ ์์ผ๋ก ๋งค์ผ์ ์๊ฐํ์ด์. | I feared my truth, I feared my honesty, I feared my vulnerability, and that fear made me feel like I was forced into a corner, like I was forced into a corner and there was only one way out, and so I thought about that way every single day. |
๊ทธ๋ ๊ฒ ๋งค์ผ ์๊ฐํ์ด์. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ ์์งํด์ง์๋ฉด ์ด ๊ณณ์ ์ ์๋ ๋์์๋ ์ ๋ ๋ค์ ๊ทธ ์๊ฐ์ ํ์ต๋๋ค. ์๋ํ๋ฉด ๊ทธ๊ฒ ๋ณ์ด๊ณ , ๋ชธ๋ถ๋ฆผ์ด๊ณ , ์ฐ์ธ์ฆ์ด๋๊น์. ์ฐ์ธ์ฆ์ ์๋๊ฐ์ ๊ฒ์ด ์๋๋๋ค. | I thought about it every single day, and if I'm being totally honest, standing here I've thought about it again since, because that's the sickness, that's the struggle, that's depression, and depression isn't chicken pox. |
ํ ๋ฒ ์ด๊ฒจ๋ธ๋ค๊ณ ํด์ ์์ ํ ์ฌ๋ผ์ง๋ ๊ฒ์ด ์๋์ฃ . | You don't beat it once and it's gone forever. |
์ธ์ ๋ ๊ณ์ ์์ด์. ํญ์ ๊ฐ์ง๊ณ ์ด์๊ฐ์ผ ํ๋ ๊ฒ์
๋๋ค. | It's something you live with. It's something you live in. |
๊ทธ๊ฒ์ ์ซ์๋ผ ์ ์๋ ๋ฃธ๋ฉ์ดํธ์
๋๋ค. ๋ฌด์ํ ์ ์๋ ๋ชฉ์๋ฆฌ์ฃ . | It's the roommate you can't kick out. It's the voice you can't ignore. |
๊ทธ๊ฒ์ ๋ฒ์ด๋ ์ ์์ ๊ฒ๋ง ๊ฐ์ ๋๋์
๋๋ค. ๋ฌด์์ด ์ ์ ์ผ๋ง ํ์ ์ด๊ฒ์ ๋ํด ๋ฌด๊ฐ๊ฐํด์ง๋ ๊ฑฐ์์. ์์ ์ ์ผ๋ถ๋ถ์ด ๋๋ ๊ฑฐ์ฃ . ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๋๋ฉด ์ฌ๋๋ค์ด ๊ฐ์ฅ ๋๋ ค์ํ๋ ๊ฒ์ ๋ด๋ถ์ ๊ณ ํต์ด ์๋๊ฒ ๋ฉ๋๋ค. | It's the feelings you can't seem to escape, the scariest part is that after a while, you become numb to it. It becomes normal for you, and what you really fear the most isn't the suffering inside of you. |
๋๋ ค์์ ์ด๋ค์ด ๊ฐ๋ ๋์ธ์ด ๋ฉ๋๋ค. ์์น์ฌ์ด๊ณ , ๋ถ๋๋ฌ์์ด ๋ฉ๋๋ค. ์น๊ตฌ์ ์ผ๊ตด์ ๋ ์ค๋ฅธ ๋ฐ๊ฐ์ด์์. ๋ณต๋์์ ๋ค๋ ค์ค๋, ๋๋ ์ฝํ๋ค๋ ์์ญ์์
๋๋ค. ๋น์ ์ด ๋ฏธ์ณค๋ค๋ ๋ง๋ค์ด์์. | It's the stigma inside of others, it's the shame, it's the embarrassment, it's the disapproving look on a friend's face, it's the whispers in the hallway that you're weak, it's the comments that you're crazy. |
๋ฐ๋ก ๊ทธ๋ฐ ๊ฒ๋ค๋ก ์ธํด ์ฌ๋๋ค์ ๋์์ ๋ฐ์ง ๋ชปํ๊ฒ ๋ฉ์ต๋๋ค. | That's what keeps you from getting help. |