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lied post continuaton previous internet connetion post wanting use tablet ealier today thought internet worked showing internet back bar went youtube said interesting currently still not internet connetion | non-suicide |
like use thigh pillow want know like need test need someone help | non-suicide |
every app dating app try hard enough not single app think not get partner excluding gaming apps not chat function single player game | non-suicide |
big ish pp hey mommy want smash put pp vv cece | non-suicide |
poem son shared not go gentle good night farewell leave soon hitchhike around find world guy great thank via con diosdo not go gentle good night old age burn rave close day rage rage dying light though wise men end know dark right word forked lightning not go gentle good night good men last wave cry bright frail deed might danced green bay rage rage dying light wild men caught sang sun flight learn late grieved way not go gentle good night grave men near death see blinding sight blind eye could blaze like meteor gay rage rage dying light father sad height curse bless fierce tear pray not go gentle good night rage rage dying light dylan thomas | suicide |
someone called weirdo saying would eat shit shat pant cry heck person called weirdo | non-suicide |
hate sub day hate sub | non-suicide |
disgusted every one would die love become physical appearance toy sex toy cum toy not even like sex not even sex watch bite tongue lick lip stare piece meat juicy piece meat longer know compliment genuine another person trying get pant lived miserably along life fair would unlimited pas peace love respect nah life not like suffering along not mean saved dragged shit | suicide |
thing got better still want diei struggled mental health around year best since still not see point existing not like not see benefit continuing want fall asleep not wake sick always feeling way | suicide |
want hug man | non-suicide |
help reach subscriber please left pls subscribe youtube channel please check video recommendation physic gamers video nothing physic saitama cosplay everytime play minecraft please share subscribe please tell comment one like dislike thanks | non-suicide |
need stop attaching self worth birthday today birthday every year incredibly toxic thing thing ever expect people remember wish know toxic people not head like not good enough person year associate wished much impact life especially sting best friend since second grade year friendship not wish reminded not want call attention kind suck people birthday post picture friend wish get gift whatever anyway year suck suck turning like suck life hope safe happy getting healthier | non-suicide |
mermaid man ptsd first introduced mermaid man barnacle boy mermaid man freak whenever hears evil afoot mermaid man freak consisted running hide screaming death ray spongebob dose talk shrink ray later episode not death ray addition episode barnacle boy turn evil barnacle man episode revealed mermaid man used super hero team called j l rarely hear anything team episode suit seem near mint condition theroy j l member died via death ray mermaid man hiding | non-suicide |
people keep saying not know trying make new friend constantly asking hangout everyone keep saying not know not know | non-suicide |
saved random guy sorry bad english thinking killing year not tragic thinking know think death could answer problem overthinking depression strong dead compromise not feeling good not feeling bad neither really sad unconfortable going not able think anything moment took train went near city used love wanted fell high bridge like random guy came nowhere nice man lost daughter travelling africa country really quite peaceful bit upset also surprised stopped said think family going feel die much love right family love not want anymore nice family studying university lot awesome friend one reached city night life damn hard know people going lot pain someone without family someone cancer someone far unlucky feel guilty accuse sad make even sad still think sometimes suicide flash similar dream wich dead thought control maybe see doctor someone help not know think know night tried sucide got saved not want anymore want enioy life family friend till frightned thought | suicide |
worriedi fucking idiot not pregnant might still teenager not unprotected sex not stupid condom not safe even close live mother fucking hate father care grade asked mother haha funny joke pregnant replied dead seriously pregnant either kick child kick take child last thing could possibly want lifetime child might raised mother asked counselor school pregnant know know guidance counselor student assistance counselor worth nothing pregnant kill option | suicide |
well not sleeping next night fyi not like gym unless playing dodgeball ultimate frisbee hate sport many occasion hurt one hand trying stop basketball yesterday case soccer ball big bruise middle finger anywho playing volleyball gym today actually not hate much sport scored point something gym usually pretty cool hand cold also completely zoned moment one girl really nice actually encouraging team saying thing like good job nice try came give one high five low side instead normal human giving high five zoned as shook hand like second cold clammy incredibly awkward hand shake said uncomfortable like joking nice way could tell really confused tried laugh inside soul shriveled died sheer awkwardness moment worst part play another minute could not look anyone team matter eye later hallway one friend told knew asked try high five kool_stuph shook hand said yeah incredibly awkward jokingly cringed wanted share socially awkward people tl dr really nice girl tried high five shook hand instead | non-suicide |
homies made rap warning listener may cum ear | non-suicide |
listen cure not cure sadness filler filler filler filer biller killer willer | non-suicide |
cut wristthe way end pain | suicide |
hellohelp help please | suicide |
horny pm sike nia thought | non-suicide |
need write somethingi created reddit account not know else sorry problem stupid not serious losing someone real part tragedy also excuse english south american country right feel lost want life end always suffered affection problem dad abandoned never thought would hurt bad using excuse failure married year great girl not love cheated let someone else new relationship chaotic ended hating left relationship feeling low regretted mistake knew something wrong ended anyway could not forgive self destructive went therapy everything got better could forgive helped forgive father everything got better feel love recognized love live live different town difficult relationship tried happy many time self destructive tired insecure not jealous insecure tired asking many reconfirmations love passion compromise relationship acceptance gave week ago ended two year relationship feel lost know shall pas still love life keep going feel heart stopped not want make effort get feel not worth prefer die knowing loving best thing ever happened not want go life right want write want write want life end | suicide |
help started day ago sudden started thinking moral high moral anxiety attack scared moral not good keep thinking not stop scared moral wanting go good place die keep thinking suicide confused scared | suicide |
need help trying collect steam trading card hey guy trying collect steam trading card unlucky anyone steam trading card not mind would greatly appreciated starting | non-suicide |
told move knew knew everything would get worse one person life thought would not betray like told move back father okay yeah sure move back place mental health one worst place ever place name couch sleep perfect go one soon nothing officially set fucking edge tonight going clean room kill choice got shit ton pain med work not go backup plan pet love sorry deserved better know sound stupid say pet not understand feel like need reddit thanks offering platform share | suicide |
know girl like really like girl class think se pretty also really nice really want get know better maybe get relationship know like lot friend also quite lot male friend make hard know like friend not try talk much sometimes bit shy think talk boy class sorry long message lol thanks advance advice | non-suicide |
suppose justify miserable working not want work not really see reason spend hour day miserable barely afford stay alive not see point life not rich not willing spend rest life working slim chance get kind rich old not really sure not want work not want homeless suicide option afraid failing try kill not know | suicide |
helpwhat easiest least painful way kill self not access car gun rope | suicide |
not know keep goingguys falling apart history extreme depression bipolar disorder live home parent struggle going college going work life mess barely willpower even type paragraph terrible school academic probation parent abusive often telling kill lazy slob mom often threatens call cop tell abuse get something really fucken bad place go family merciless cold come cultural background place someone value worth success not successful useless one talk never want wake morning go bed night praying not wake reason not killed fear scared dying worse hate idea losing make despite scared lay store death family religious even though not suicide stigma still scare bit thinking painless way possible scared failure might happen | suicide |
girl fucking confusing man crush say like stuff friend always talk flirting guy another discord server like tf supposed not honest tell actually like not | non-suicide |
hey want join imaginary band really need drummer guitarist bassist thanks reply know interested also sing write epic | non-suicide |
human simulating understand origin mean start end humanity universe really case stuck infinitely large inescapable loop nested simulation sorry r showerthoughts would not let post unoriginal thought | non-suicide |
donei scratching skin nonstop hitting whatever around done everything want nothing kill front ex deal pain rest life wasted three year going therapy even though not want taking anxiety med made feel horrible quitting medication need thought might make stable refused seek help problem every time tried tell something wrong thing said hurt cut contact made anxiety depression worse constantly told wrong feeling wrong not even allowed briefly mention feeling suicidal always shuts make seem like entirely fault person looked understanding support instead would always avoid break vulnerable moment one ever expected get better fix mental health issue never want end everything not live negative feeling problem desperately want watch | suicide |
posting snoos real chad make picrews pfp smh fuck snoos homies hate snoos | non-suicide |
decided go back school friend not even school friend group spilt alphabet either green gold gold fucking suck | non-suicide |
many u would better reached truth least life lot people could reach help moment great motivation even reached stranger linkedin got response not follow complicated reason time feel overwhelming shame not want risk rejection overwhelmed uncertainty tough childhood resulted persistent trust issue not certain get help unfortunate outcome perceive make wary mind always hard work creating worst case scenario know honest not exhausted option anyone else feel suicidal since wonder life might different opened say fifth grade teacher trusted school counselor many people different step life time not even see reaching option not recognize people could anything hurt sad say exhausted | suicide |
excessive positivity absolute bollock criticism wholesomeness first looking excuse say bollock think funny british expression never fail make laugh seems like one not go minute without stumbling wholesome post really getting irritating positivity cool certain point get nerve bet people making kind post attention fake internet point tend get super mad stuff tired currently wholesomeness always annoyed degree not get wrong genuinely helpful people trying way hard shit basically every single positivity make life good speech ever heard made want throw usually people basically everything handed life people giving kind speech bad spot managed help not people never major struggle life one good positivity speech ago school not remember well also noticing lot stuff saying loved someone care snicker bollock lot time sure bet many people someone care feel bit odd always shove throat suppose case good thing say lot time cringe worthy grand total hour sleep last couple day might unintelligible nonsense anyway guy think | non-suicide |
need help advicealright started month ago joined army june end red phase le month ex left came nowhere not even answer phone texted basic picture posted openly made fun comment made dive school actually texted found dated two different guy since left conversation blocked reason not even comprehend honest suicidal thought constantly earlier saw picture stomach tightened felt adrenaline still want talk person one last time get closure want know not good enough worst part day baptised think god hate not know life anymore | suicide |
emptinessevery day long drawn battle head everything place hang highest strongest almost fail proof exposed beam house turning back damn not want fuck still strong fear something go wrong fail like previous attempt not connect anybody around anymore not even child not focus million task day not want take care anymore keep waking empty | suicide |
help diagnosisi problem need help see feel alone guess two real friend girl always feel like burden say not still feel like not really hang anything sort mutual friend asked everybody know go party one group not invited mixed emotion last time invited party two year ago stand corner whilst everyone drank fun felt place idea not invited bother make feel even secluded one really care not know closeted gay never single relationship never sexual romantic person still feel like would like least something extremely insecure self fat ugly everything hate people say gifted academically push constantly school least parent never pay never get prestigious program never get thank wonder point sometimes not tell whether stuff parent would lying said not think suicide not see guess say grown indifferent death mean not man enough blow brain would not upset car hit kind go wave feel really sad usually get occupied task something get better actually happy usually alone get depressed way year mom brother diagnosed depression not sure though anyone good explanation please tell not try make dumb joke totally serious | suicide |
wish not wear glass right glass mask mean really not see get super foggy oh well would rather not see not wear mask | non-suicide |
cry badly bed past half hour guy told complete asshole piece shit suck look back text social interaction everything realize he totally right ut like not know saying moment really big annoying piece shit wish world not people possibility shitty someone moment realize shitty person not others mentally horrible hope others nicer | non-suicide |
might regret online break week print name nice comment paper also print awarders posting update day | non-suicide |
long sob post longi started writing post two day ago hour writing felt much better decided not post thought not well organized matter either good waited simply put not see reason continue living short exception life unhappy long remember childhood seemed normal anyone themself seemed well school good friend th grade realize thing started shift bit around time changed school presenting new group peer not usually kind never particularly emotionally mature age age short weak particular memory friend bringing bb gun school chasing around ground shooting plastic bb ground large administration lax kind behavior went unnoticed junior high different school always odd person parent poor really horrible money management though never discovered reason went rich church school generally looked poor sense style turtleneck polar fleece vest sound good inability cool continued high school though style improved somewhat getting ahead though eigth grade parent marriage deteriorated badly see equal fault side particularly vivid memory dad chasing around house carving knife trying stab divorce everything changed moved across state city dirt road middle nowhere switched school twice two year friend known forever never saw mom married high school boyfriend basically part family several year oddly enough worst part cat dying go dad moved still think unfair family cat really mine fed scooped bathed enjoyed reason crazy cat whenever would sit would automatically curl lap would frequently sneak room night sleep bed even though not allowed upstairs soul crushing dad called told died went college amazing freshman year combination overwork family trouble isolation friend slid downhill three year solitary hell far love concerned none plenty chance sex relationship former somehow completely avoided due combination obliviousness lack self confidence latter difficult several girl close confessed attracted felt still feel deep longing seems though whenever get close automatically run feel better without frankly not really deserve relationship not type person others happy around one girl admitted liking stopped texting calling avoided completely without explanation recognize unfair feel guilty girl crush right work working today break time four people break room sitting together laughing walked stopped second thought go sit immediately realized good time would unfair spoil presence spent rest break thinking stupid not sitting break supposed applying grad school not not really see point tried kill several time jumping front train could not kept thinking not fair put conductor life suck downside still basically nothing future one grad school still apply feeling not get case nothing not want stay town go school hate town not move back home due general family suckage well atheist political science major among hardcore christian glenn beck fan part time job school not enough pay rent basically going see get grad school not read post chan month ago really stuck fucking bad life imagine playing online videogame always one kid lowest score always think everything correctly blame team mate blame map blame game idea bad score could fault never even occurred beyond comprehension simply not fit perception world basically really not good life think time accepted time stop playing game | suicide |
wrong meeveryday every hour feel part want done not matter feel life going always happiest calmest moment still something reason need remove world tired worn spending last several year constantly afraid not get anything done anymore wrong not ever let thought go | suicide |
weird part marching band marching always end force avert eye butt one girl front little uncomfy | non-suicide |
please fucking help mei want kill feel like le dirt need someone talk one life reach help someone please talk | suicide |
arm stuck permanent degree angle lifted much feel like succeed feel extremely painful | non-suicide |
hi guy guyettes friend hav discord server r trying get new peoplee chat send meme play game like minecraft among u people console nintendo channel channel ask opposite sex channel relationship advice anime image people europe australia asia stuff going not commitment guy girl welcome teen not baby old man lol dm link | non-suicide |
hug everyone got easy get sucked nihilistic point view thing never get better believe not easy worth keep keepin sw best ask | suicide |
student died university horrible not even deal idiotic first world problemsi found horribly gre subject test spent month studying feel completely horrible terrified getting graduate school taking gre application fee huge expense scared paying student debt felt worthless suicidal multiple time college always tell problem not matter let u face not grand scheme thing first world january well liked student died bus accident think many friend people completely devastated died wonderful person going good physic apparently not not even gre right posted r depression commenter told stop caring people think find motivation basically told not real problem np reddit com r depression comment oyam everything_ive_done_is_completely_worthless st iubyaky amp sh db mean probably fucking kill not anything right friend not even deal easy problem | suicide |
anyone else eat vine tomato like apple r good literally munching time unstoppable like machine | non-suicide |
give attention please ty | non-suicide |
holy shit guy wtf formula rule art | non-suicide |
futile hopeless invisible looked overno one understands basic problem one know anything similar experienced life absolutely clue one listens left drowning sea filled hopeless voice wishing someone could hear try thing not gotten better since hoping hoping hoping putting fight trying keep head water allowing captivated dream longer fixated completely submerged lost fight year long time wait half life lived like try reach one care say care say talk ghosted always ghosted ignored respond obviously not read wrote therapist unhelpful worse mean one saw year treated like nuisance like better thing speak phd social activism not even psychology university hospital multiple time not help small invisible | suicide |
would like apologize everyone existing fr though burden everyone | non-suicide |
please stalk please stalk | non-suicide |
failed n personally not feel ok basically browsing reddit like usual came across really good hentai talking proper gourmet shit anyways start jerking stop halfway fail | non-suicide |
done posted thing tough never low nothing going family aggravated everything not hold serious conversation feel house miserable time friend act like friend day completely turn shout scream isolate truly horrible not true friend nobody talk one teacher really supportive obviously not keep bothering especially not weekend think killing every day self harmed started taking part reckless behaviour counselling med doctor never worked done wanted someone hear | suicide |
life not worth living average iqno potential fulfilling life | suicide |
nothing live fori nothing one job income not future think pointless anything not even depressed feel emotion hopelessness lack desire anything | suicide |
anyone help feel broken inside not even know say guy looked help many place failed not know not know much longer take | suicide |
tried kill feel nothingi want die | suicide |
w cat boy mine muahahahah stolen cat boy w | non-suicide |
commit suicide without passing pain family understand human nature reach situation like please asking legitimate answer idea people may love family simple fact not want alive anymore would hate family endure sort pain action hoping someone would suggestion thank | suicide |
horny gurl redtid send bob send meme fair trade | non-suicide |
want break gf thinking breaking gf not know best not really hurt much make sure really wnat | non-suicide |
brt skrt skrt like | non-suicide |
road near live called raper road shit not seriously check google map road town live called raper road full name raper haskell road funny none le let u also not forget also raper trail south live seriously though approving name literally city austria called fucking | non-suicide |
guilt feari want die due pain experienced life lost religious connection ever sometimes idea nothingness comfort also chill core also extreme guilt every time think dying know hurt anyone care not think would kill every day life getting harder starting think not keep going mind abandoned everything feel mechanical not feel passion besides random flash quickly fading happiness feel anger despair overwhelming anxiety sadness lost confused not know anymore | suicide |
guess favorite sonic character wholesome reward not sonic let say | non-suicide |
got got high school choice like lottery system happy right | non-suicide |
searching reason live finding reason go | suicide |
gf ruined entire life sent nude muslim mother feel horrible life shit grade extremely bad family fight time friend girlfriend talked hour everyday got extremely jealous crazy sudden shamed everything ruined life sending sexual chat history fetishism nude muslim mother placed lock phone got taken away wifi got taken away forced pray time day yell hour refuse life horrible using razor blade cut open foregead forearm depressed suicidal yet lack power end please help | suicide |
favorable end mei made biggest mistake life day living regret feel like ending not find courage not seek help bcos help get deeper trouble sick want die die sleep shd take life better end matter choice make | suicide |
kissed girlfriend basically leaving house went outside left hugged asked may kiss know not romantic first kiss kissed thinking past hour | non-suicide |
shit shit shit shit shit crush told like not directly basically not know freaking | non-suicide |
lost coworker week want chat amazing guy knew problem much could not chain bed really nice person like give food ate kind guy filling last year half really great person sure becoming great father really odd subject not get type publicly often even talking publicly caused problem one neighbour called coward done broke found sub reddit person mattered issue search anywhere everywhere talk | suicide |
might not right sub someone please offer help friend ex girlfriend told last night tried od called ambulance way told loved need let ambulance treat replied could hear ambulance coming communication stopped not know happened tried messaging calling nothing happened ambulance got would access phone got hospital happened midnight last night could night freaking please everyone sub contemplating ending life please not may not seem like anyone love please trust not want lose friend not know away school not go find freaking | suicide |
guy help cry someone opened room door threw toilet paper home alone mot fake swear last wish get first award reddit | non-suicide |
take lithium havei right edge everything life changed year simply opt not deal anymore much whole lot lithium drug get toxic quickly therapeutic dose ready go | suicide |
want diehey guy two year since moved canada study engineering university failed couple class maybe three first two year never felt homesick feel weird not sleep night way go sleep stay awake long many friend highschool ever since moved kind lost touch still follow instagram whenever see story hanging fun feel depressed regret moving not student loan debt dad pay tuition fee not rich make worse feel guilty not told failed class since poor gpa stage would kicked engineering academic probation right thing stopping ending mom mom love much move canada half hearted eventually fine since wanted go wish never moved not stop googling easy way die time think killing think mom would feel eventhough lot people love much still feel lonely depressed mean know may going worse stuff might look like not big deal trust know highschool heard student killing thought would anyone laughed hurt bad feel like disappointment dad even sold one house could pay tuition fee feel like failing also another thing stop thing education would became useless even death would fail mean thought talking therapist something realized broke insecure talk someone know reason posting reddit stay anonymous also long distance relationship girl loved much marry even talking scared life whole time loved much threw away coward ghosted month not break properly feel like push everyone away everyone care extroverted person not even feel like talking mom dad even brother wake attend zoom lecture assignment study think not able stop required discontinue engineering wanted engineer since highschool want pas course eager moved canada want die keep telling ever get opportunity die accident take way parent not think killed not know stop feeling way read far well thanks needed tell someone also anyone think not big deal like wanting die failed college completely get please not troll guy whoever reading thanks listening p not like suicide note something felt like talking someone | suicide |
afghanistan veteranhello everyone try keep short sweet possible not really know looking posting stumbled across reddit suicidewatch accident whilst trying research suicide note would like share story current situation plan next day two year old male united kingdom joined british army th birthday month basic training moved germany join battalion went straight pre deployment training five month later deployed helmand province afghanistan tour start finish seven month first three worst pretty sheltered child growing first time real world without safety net friend family could say not really alone patrol base platoon military guy girl know like new guy space week ambushed taliban le meter two different direction incoming round literally bounced around foot whizzed past head day later one senior guy platoon used look got blown ied lost leg evacuated back camp bastion clear safe path blast zone recover severed leg blood soaked equipment young kid metal detector time last year not even first alcoholic drink clearing minefield picking body part happened brunt spent next week watching sunrise morning genuinely believing not going alive see set long story short made alive felt fine long time guess pushed back mind got medal received commendation brigade commander volunteering go retrieve guy body part moved forward career taking part security force london olympic game went kenya canada exercise went promotion course needle say rapidly caught later got sick quickly taken work two year treated post traumatic stress disorder battling deep depression anxiety flashback nightmare suicidal thought everyday since gradually getting worse fast forward present army living mother couch lost long term girlfriend lived not strength handle day honestly not blame tried kill couple week ago taking large codeine lorazepam overdose bottle whiskey girlfriend came home found called ambulance got taken hospital saw crisis team basically sat home six hour later nh said not immediate risk needed help contact military charity self referral therapy scheme much fucking joke thinking making fucking blood boil called charity called combat stress said nurse would call day two triage set treatment plan never tried calling back not get left message one get back tried self referral therapy thing seemed really positive first got phone call back saying could not treat problem beyond ability everything packed car parked mile away not move insurance ran not money insure nowhere live lost job little ago left nothing girlfriend gone left past point caring not close either parent one person left life could talk not stay touch anyone army seeing face enough trigger finalizing thing today tomorrow writing letter people need making sure affair order past point caring feeling guilty people going leave behind know want not cry day night anymore feel numb think tuesday give peace little bit happiness not care another ptsd statistic not care emotion people leaving behind really gave best youngest year life army given nothing return apart ruining life given last energy happiness girlfriend nothing left barrel | suicide |
must school recipe shit today home ec supposed make kind pasta based food friend decided make chicken pasta good af not hard make needed recipe looked home ec book found one god recipe awful first spice recipe said put chicken salt pepper god second recipe said make sauce chicken said adding dl water fucking water course said fuck improvised pretty much whole thing pasta far best non sweet food made home ec school please give u actually decent recipe | non-suicide |
looking sign get reddit start revising working watching amp xb get back work procrastinator | non-suicide |
not know anymore wanting die scared go process quite number year diagnosed major depressive disorder not long ago parent would not even show way lessen symptom help psychiatrist told iq adhd symptom failed driver test time row friend get bullied school macrophilia nobody talk problem mom say get dad think begging attention even though barley around even know well felt completely hopeless know going get harder later since graduating year may immediately going taking summer class community college even stressful hard deal not still school made thing hurt asked someone really liked said feel even crushed feel like never born mistake | suicide |
please help someonei seriously not anymore ill broken lost never thought could get fucking bad year worst year life far fucking tired b every single day torture need someone talk | suicide |
not believe actually posting not really know begin first guess sort inconceivable sub posting something like hell not add humiliation guess start saying year old male currently college computer science proud person default raised single mother masculine person believe strength tenacity discipline importantly purpose personal motto always suffering breed discipline discipline breed strength old school traditionalist believe natural order thing although leftist absolutely disdain liberal quality exude weakness believe human being equally worthless included suffered depression past sheer force able conquer viewing depression martial light depression eternal enemy must continually fought kept bay must consciously maintain vigilance one dark thought enter mind must vanquish immediately available mean point however element life worn last four year eroding iron depleting fighting spirit not going go got heartbroken girl although factor not pathetic let sole reason not wanting carry start saying thing wanted child fly military aircraft fact still maintain service state highest honor one aspire attend flight school high school thought going accomplish dream becoming military aviator however suffer bad case adhd would seem academia insurmountable objective not medicated tried best ultimately unsuccessful attempt complete college course without medication crushing defeat picked moved knack military history writing told fulfilling gen ed requirement took th century european history class professor army colonel year earned undergrad west point completed phd graduate thesis apache scouting party one strictest professor humanity department earned nickname pressure sheer amount homework gave difficulty test rather liked immediately excellent command presence additionally thrive environment held standard excellence professor demanded nothing short excellence quickly became top student class due rather vast repository knowledge concerning cp da kaiserreich und da dritte reich addition knowledge infantry tactic employed world war even told excellent work remains highest compliment ever received one day approached professor informed interest becoming military historian looked dead eye said not difficult make living field although another dream crushed deemed acceptable wanted pursue career would allow maximize utility state professor instilled burning desire serve apart something greater deemed future battlefield would digital nature stuxnet proved decided would pursue computer science major vowed henceforth compromise defeat knew going field would conquer greatest weakness mathematics knew not going easy deemed anything possible courage discipline around time met ex loved much attracted femininity honestly could not tell want saw obviously thought handsome transferred university moved together relationship ended devastated however heart heart understood left bore responsibility break pretty nasty honest although knew largely fault felt betrayed yet quick find bed room another woman soon realized however made mistake new girl banging total opposite end spectrum tend worship strength discipline least hedonistic broke not trust also mention point best friend known talked everyday since th grade best could still devastated break even though would woman experienced better shape ex buddy though always grateful someone like failed class semester completely utterly ashamed felt broken family thought transfer school move back home though seemed like admitting defeat simply unacceptable tried time though found ex fucking entire computer science department ashamed admit point decided situation untenable retreated back home ashamed broken home quickly went trying recover defeat called computer repair shop asking hiring technician one hiring got job local restaurant people appreciate strong authority figure job still haunt chef de cusine total tyrant coworkers even noticed became verbal punching bag day not know give best shot however soon fired time ever fired job honestly relieved point panic attack shortly shift ended feeling pretty low point gone honor role student dean list college drop got fired first time around point started waking going bed suicidal thought got job liquor store worked next three year although liked coworkers bos store could not help feel disgraced felt like failure around time started hang around old high school crush seemed nice outside break forced necessity move home parent however absolutely toxic individual told numerous occasion expendable worthless totally ashamed admit stayed around long not know hate part also accepted university area wayne state however earned credit transferred start square one made extremely bitter gone precalc prealgerbra however persevered else really anyway still unbelievable bitch started get stressed final tolerance bullshit rapidly started diminishing faster think anticipated ultimately took game hockey restore masculinity sense self worth told sick shit sick driving place not want talk anymore think caught guard next day texted telling back ex state told simply not care absolute truth felt liberated cost started developing deep resentment toward western woman even still today aspiration foreign woman preferably middle east ever wanted simple life government job allow assume role bread winner virtuous intelligent wife adheres traditional value family call however starting lose belief vision obtainable people would call chauvinistic sexist vision feel like relic gone era born century feel place today society quite clear not belong era add sense displacement academic achievement wayne however shadow former glory take education seriously not stellar gpa take toll self esteem finally come infamous summer year best friend died minute phone catastrophic loss one seriously fucked mentally knew person talked every day half life closest dearest friend grant sherman stonewall jackson robert e lee never know specific died know fell onto subway track train coming screaming died something profoundly horrible think best friend screaming go drive new york recover ash bring home parent single fucked thing ever tell post lot shit already going wrong break emotionally day not feel emotion way think blessing kind tired feeling point anyway new york meet current girlfriend appear love care not capable anymore reciprocating way become detached emotionally also western woman not really type know love want not feel anything guess not say not care something not right though idea also get job computer repair slightly fulfilling want fix people broken shit teach rich idiot computer semester rough taken calculus discreet math looking like going flunk class despite best effort showed everyday class got help went office hour still failing financial aid likely going cut ultimate insult prove hard work discipline simply not enough situation feel futile wish model citizen serve state feel like would never accept point purpose pride not go like would rather blow head live disgraced failure not family fuck simply refuse carry way not want live see become failure still living home seriously contemplating suicide living without pride without purpose way live yet despite hard work perseverance world seems determined make drag society wish serve issue receive state aid personally simply unacceptable brings question identity male would rather die man beg scrap like dog existence feel like joke string disappointment setback feel though disgrace family name family warrior grandfather awarded iron cross bravery not even pas calculus equally inconceivable embarrassing work hard still nothing show life started fall apart four long miserable year endured hoping thing would get better not feel like could spare decade soul crushing defeat disappointment manage courage end au der traum | suicide |
not deal fact mental illness anymorei not deal anymore diagnosed bipolar generalized anxiety disorder adhd teen diagnosed major depression psychotic feature latest diagnosis saw not anymore different medication abuse adhd med like crazy thing find make feel good not deal fact going taking medication forever almost nothing help feel better like exercise diet like previously thought not deal fact always way nothing ever change way live since last wednesday think killing always mind not stop thinking family not know deal not bother hospitalized time not put feel like nothing anymore nothing left not want anymore hobby interest friend dropped school job though applying everywhere since beginning month not sleep well feel world not thanks reading | suicide |
get chinese mcdonald ad youtube not live anywhere near china not speak chinese | non-suicide |
think someone lying girlfriend week ago today girlfriend went city friend not seen girlfriend go another school friend go school anyway get back hanging next day tell upset girlfriend say nothing know time best not push unless want talk something later tell really bugging confront finally tell friend went day said thing apparently asking girl grade general pervert confirm girlfriend told not true seemed happier since day know girlfriend friend texting especially last week get problem today texting like normal acting bit upset could tell asked wrong said nothing tell upset upset specifically situation fairly sure upset not tell demonstrating behavior lied not know know not girlfriend fault nice people known friend long time trust not know talk friend person not proof really done anything time guy suggestion id really appreciate | non-suicide |
first christmas actually felt chance would not next year seeing councilor tell next meeting appologize weird awkward disclaimer not want people freak reading title alone addition know post late appologize procrastinated bit writing thought recurring past night thought would share first christmas job felt guilty past gotten gift able tack name onto gift mom gave went gift buying year planned gift many month advance already planning next year make not maybe leave something behind part think make next year possibility might not starting weigh mind solidifying find reason ever hate thought get worse practically start chanting silent death threat holy fuck rereading sounded super fucking melodramatic not exactly lie super awkward read seeing councelor although not know comfortable telling last bit made sure get everyone multiple gift christmas year spent lot time picking even got dog treat roommate dog addition thought would cheap easy buy christmas card grabbed crafting supply michael decided make not turn half bad one really looked like kindergartener art project lol xd spent lot time planning write one particular actually written time summer transferred note onto newly made card made sure tell people love wrote really thought much meant not motif writing card wanted thank people christmas past everything done far best part christmas day everyone genuinely liked gift card actually excited made rest day feel great night however laying bed realized might not next year b wrote card pretty good thing leave behind something hold onto want know really feel love appreciate die want know not want think blame blame anyone think card express not necessarily perfectly adequately always hear people talk certain day birthday surprised made another year extreme case another month week day not exact feeling relatively new actually feel like might not make another year thought moment kind stood appologize not write perfectly not know hope achieve posting thing mind wanted get guess thank listening reading guess hope positive year tl dr talking councelor not stress enough christmas realized actual chance might not around see next one case left something pretty good behind | suicide |
miss mom much lost mom cancer last summer miss much think time everyday everything world taken left nothing noone want see kiss hug much make cry time want go heaven see want kill nothing education job not live like knowing ill live like next year make want kill even dad nothing would not even would tear gone want go heaven see mom thing want see kill everything right life know go heaven biggest fear ill never see mom kill never sinned go heaven kill | suicide |
ever view people post history reason lowkey feel bad snooping like interesting af | non-suicide |
important question say year twenty twenty one two thousand twenty one | non-suicide |
help appreciatedi know lot people similar postion mine really hoping someone could offer advice depressed long time one suicide attempt already really hit rock bottom last couple week believe thing get better barely get day really need help hardly eat sleep leaving flat incredibly difficult advice get would welcome self harm something battled long time not stop normally distract thing hand like cleaning sewing nothing seems work right not know wake every morning wishing dead | suicide |
not know happening grandmother died hour father grandfather grandmother passed away span one year not know happening tommorow morning grandmother funeral not know get feel like killing happen | non-suicide |
driving could end ever drive blank thinking crash car one wrong turn lake pole also not chance someone else could get hurt end might still live problem family | suicide |
guy really need hobby need hobby going lwterly fucking die eat work sleep reapet anything sport though | non-suicide |